{"id":63146,"date":"2001-10-11T17:07:59","date_gmt":"2001-10-11T21:07:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=63146"},"modified":"2026-03-18T18:23:41","modified_gmt":"2026-03-18T22:23:41","slug":"more-than-memories-by-julie-jurkovich","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=63146","title":{"rendered":"More Than Memories (by Julie Jurkovich)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:<\/b>\u00a0Ben is alone on his birthday, while his sons are off carrying out various duties for the Ponderosa. He comes downstairs and finds gifts left for him which take him on a journey of remembrance.
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (5,720 words)<\/p>\n

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The Brandsters acknowledge that the authors are the owners of their stories.\u00a0 Should an author included in this project reach out to us and indicate they do not wish their work to be archived in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library, we will remove their stories.\u00a0 We would also be happy to change contact information for any authors who wish to continue to have their stories archived in the Library.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0More\u00a0Than<\/span>\u00a0Memories<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben Cartwright slowly stretched and opened his eyes to the dark room.\u00a0\u00a0He lay still for several minutes, hearing the silence about him.\u00a0\u00a0As the room slowly took on the grey hues of dawn, he thought about the sounds he usually heard in the early morning.\u00a0\u00a0Adam\u2019s steady footsteps would have passed his room and descended the stairs, pausing by the front door while he put on his hat and strapped on his\u00a0gunbelt<\/span>, before leaving for the barn to tend to the chores.\u00a0\u00a0Then, Hoss\u2019s lumbering tread would sound from his room as he washed and dressed, followed by his heavy, echoing feet as they followed his older brother.\u00a0\u00a0Finally, Ben would emerge from his room, and almost always step into his youngest son\u2019s room to shake him awake.\u00a0\u00a0Then, he would carefully descend the steps.\u00a0\u00a0Hop Sing always had a cup of coffee waiting for him.\u00a0\u00a0He would drink it as he strapped on his gun and put on his hat, and then leave to talk with the foreman about the tasks for the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Finally, he shoved back the blankets and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.\u00a0\u00a0He might as well begin the day.\u00a0\u00a0It was one he had dreaded for a long time, and it wasn\u2019t going to be any easier for delay.\u00a0\u00a0He rubbed his eyes, then rose and started pulling on his trousers.\u00a0\u00a0As he washed up, he felt uncomfortably alert, and wished he could spend the day in bed.\u00a0\u00a0Something was wrong;\u00a0\u00a0something<\/span>\u00a0was missing….<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Of course, his sons were missing.\u00a0\u00a0Adam had gone to\u00a0<\/span>San Francisco<\/span>\u00a0to supervise, with their banker\u2019s help, the transactions in the mining interests near the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0Hoss was heading up a cattle drive to Texas with some rough drovers, and Joe – well, Joe was supposed to be riding perimeter along the Humboldt River, checking for strays and possible cattle rustlers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben sighed.\u00a0\u00a0Little Joe…..The possibilities for trouble with that hot-headed youngster, even with the steadying hand of Brett, one of Ben\u2019s long-time and most trusted hands, were endless.\u00a0\u00a0Joe was angry before he even left.\u00a0\u00a0He complained that he should have been allowed to go to\u00a0<\/span>San Francisco<\/span>\u00a0with Adam.\u00a0\u00a0Ben and Adam both rolled their eyes, realizing that Joe was only interested in the fast women and fancy entertainment offered in that spangled city, not in proving his astuteness as\u00a0\u00a0a businessman.\u00a0\u00a0Then, he preferred to take Hoss\u2019s place on the cattle drive, not realizing that the business end of selling and buying superseded the thrill of\u00a0traveling<\/span>\u00a0through the wild country.\u00a0\u00a0Hoss was proving\u00a0himself<\/span>\u00a0trustworthy in the business end of the ranch, and Ben was pleased that his middle son\u2019s confidence in selling and buying was growing.\u00a0\u00a0Far too often, Ben had worried that Hoss felt overshadowed by his more intelligent, astute, and articulate older brother in the business affairs of the Ponderosa, while he surely believed himself third-rate with the ladies in the social life of\u00a0<\/span>Virginia City<\/span>\u00a0in comparison with the youngest of the Cartwright clan.\u00a0\u00a0Ben was confident that Hoss would find his niche in life, and hopefully a special lady to share it with, soon.<\/span><\/p>\n

After he shaved, Ben buttoned his shirt and tucked it in, fastened his belt, brushed his hair,\u00a0\u00a0and<\/span>\u00a0walked the familiar path down the hall, as he had done for so many years.\u00a0\u00a0As he descended the staircase, he thought for a fleeting moment of his three wives, the women who had made his present happiness\u00a0and\u00a0\u00a0fulfillment<\/span><\/span>\u00a0possible, and tried to chase away the ache that threatened to overtake and stop his heart.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Sometimes, his memories hurt so much that he wished his heart\u00a0wouldstop<\/span>, and he could join his wives in death.\u00a0\u00a0At moments such as that, he was grateful for the presence of his three sons, each a visible reminder of the love who had left him years before.\u00a0\u00a0Perhaps that was why part of him never really wanted Adam, or Hoss, or even Joe, though he was still young, to leave him and settle down\u00a0with\u00a0\u00a0a<\/span>\u00a0woman.\u00a0\u00a0He needed them here.\u00a0\u00a0Not just to help run the Ponderosa;\u00a0\u00a0they<\/span>\u00a0could do that from a house several miles away.\u00a0\u00a0He needed them here to keep him from remembering, and wanting to die from, the memories of his lost loves.\u00a0\u00a0Ben had lost three wives.\u00a0\u00a0How many times could a man love, and still recover?\u00a0\u00a0How long could he go on, pretending that he still could live?\u00a0\u00a0No, he needed Adam, Hoss, and Joe near him, so he didn\u2019t have to think about the loss of the women he loved more than life.\u00a0\u00a0After all, each son was a gift;\u00a0\u00a0a<\/span>\u00a0visible, tangible remembrance of his mother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As Ben turned from the staircase and entered the living room, the sun was shining through the window at the end of the house near the dining room table.\u00a0\u00a0The entire room was illumined by a golden light, which he surely had seen before, but had seldom noticed or appreciated.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He looked about him in wonder.\u00a0\u00a0The striped satin couch glowed in the early morning light, and dust motes swam over it.\u00a0\u00a0The golden wood of the coffee table absorbed the lustrous rays of the sun and emitted a resplendent glow, which Ben knew would be lost to more reserved tones as the day progressed, and the year moved inexorably toward\u00a0Winter<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He went to the dining room table, and looked at the huge, empty wooden monolith with longing.\u00a0\u00a0It never seemed so big when it was surrounded by people.\u00a0\u00a0But even the presence of his sons couldn\u2019t take up enough space, or fill the hole in his heart that had been left by each of their mothers.\u00a0\u00a0Swallowing a lump in his throat, he sat down, wishing in vain for a company of sons, friends,\u00a0neighbors<\/span>, and loved ones to fill the space at the table, in the house, and in his heart.\u00a0\u00a0His mind strayed to memories from about this table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhere is Joseph?\u00a0\u00a0Doesn\u2019t he know I expect him to get himself up in the mornings?\u00a0\u00a0Why must I always fight to get him to do his fair share of work around here?<\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cNow, Pa, calm down.\u00a0\u00a0Just calm down!\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll go up and get him, and make sure he gets out\u00a0to do<\/span>\u00a0that fence\u00a0mendin<\/span>\u2019 with the rest of the hands you had in mind for the job<\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Lost in his memories, Ben reached out for his coffee.\u00a0\u00a0His coffee!\u00a0\u00a0Where was it?\u00a0\u00a0Hop Sing always had it here, waiting for him.\u00a0\u00a0Often as not, he emerged from the kitchen as soon as Ben came down the stairs, and poured him a fresh cup.\u00a0\u00a0Ben always savoured that coffee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Of course:\u00a0\u00a0Hop Sing wasn\u2019t here.\u00a0\u00a0He had gone to\u00a0<\/span>San Francisco<\/span>, before Adam had left, to visit his family.\u00a0\u00a0Ben and the boys managed on their own at first, but now that the boys were gone, well…..\u00a0\u00a0Ben missed his coffee.\u00a0\u00a0He stood uncertainly, intending to go to the kitchen to make his own coffee and breakfast, when something from across the room caught his eye.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0On his desk was a package.\u00a0\u00a0He looked more closely, but couldn\u2019t make it out because of the bright sunlight shining directly on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As he approached his den,\u00a0\u00a0he<\/span>\u00a0saw that the package was a bottle with a card under it.\u00a0\u00a0Piled on either side of it were packages wrapped in bright paper.\u00a0\u00a0He smiled as he picked up the bottle, and slipped the card from under it.<\/span><\/p>\n

To Pa, on your birthday.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span>\u00a0\u00a0We hope you have a good day, and know that we miss you very much.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

With love,<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Adam<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Hoss<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Joe<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0With a faraway smile, Ben picked up the bottle, opened it, and sniffed appreciatively.\u00a0\u00a0His sons certainly had good taste, and knew what he liked.\u00a0\u00a0Well, it was too early in the morning for brandy.\u00a0\u00a0He resealed the bottle reluctantly, and thought of the times that he had turned to drinking, or thought of going on a drunk, to drown his grief.\u00a0\u00a0Each time, it was the knowledge that his sons needed him that kept him going.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0How often had he pulled himself from the brink of despair; from the bleak prospect of the absence of love in his life, only to realize that he did have love, but of a different nature and need?\u00a0\u00a0Thank God for his sons.\u00a0\u00a0Had it not been for them, he might have needlessly thrown away his life in his grief.\u00a0\u00a0He looked at the presents, but decided to wait until after breakfast to open them.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As he entered the kitchen, he looked uncertainly around.\u00a0\u00a0This was Hop\u00a0Sing\u2019s<\/span>\u00a0domain, and he welcomed no trespassers – not even his employer.\u00a0\u00a0He saw the coffee pot on the stove, and found it filled with water.\u00a0\u00a0The container with ground coffee was set next to the coffee pot.\u00a0\u00a0He smiled.\u00a0\u00a0Doubtless, this was Hoss\u2019s doing.\u00a0\u00a0His middle son\u2019s heart was as big as the rest of him.\u00a0\u00a0Since he was never able to go without food, he would be certain to see to it that his father was taken care of on his birthday.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben opened the stove to add the wood, and found it was already done.\u00a0\u00a0He had only to open the drafts, start the fire, measure the coffee in, and heat the pot.\u00a0\u00a0Well, that would take a while.\u00a0\u00a0He might as well go open at least one present from his sons.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He returned to his desk, and sat down, looking at the presents.\u00a0\u00a0Which one should he open first?\u00a0\u00a0His hand went instinctively to the largest one,\u00a0then<\/span>\u00a0stopped, as he chided himself for behaving like a child on Christmas, and greedily opening the biggest gift first.\u00a0\u00a0Then, he thought, \u201cWhy not?\u00a0\u00a0There\u2019s no one here to see me!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0He lifted the large, bulky gift from below the one on top of it, and began tearing away the bright paper.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Several layers of heavy paper lay below it.\u00a0\u00a0He carefully removed those, and found a basket wrapped in coarse paper, a sealed note, and a smaller, heavy package wrapped in cloths.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben unwound the paper and found a basket full of rolls, sweet rolls, and sweetmeats, all carefully wrapped.\u00a0\u00a0He smiled as he searched through the treats, and looked at the note.\u00a0\u00a0To Pa<\/i>, the large, careful lettering spelled, and he recognized Hoss\u2019s writing.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He broke the seal.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Dear Pa,<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I know that this little package don\u2019t seem like much, but I thought you might get\u00a0hankerin<\/span>\u00a0for\u00a0somethin<\/span>\u00a0sweet on your birthday, especially without Hop Sing there.\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0figger<\/span>\u00a0you can eat some of the rolls with your breakfast, and space the rest out through the day.\u00a0\u00a0You know we\u2019ll be home in a few days, and we\u2019ll have a proper celebration then.\u00a0\u00a0Meanwhile, I hope you like these rolls.\u00a0\u00a0I asked Mrs. Thomas to fix \u2018em<\/span>\u00a0up special for you, seeing as how it was your birthday and all, and you\u2019d be alone.\u00a0\u00a0She about had a fit, and wanted to\u00a0bring\u2019em<\/span>\u00a0out special, but I told her that you\u2019d\u00a0probly<\/span>\u00a0rather open your presents in peace and quiet.<\/span><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The other little gift is something I found in Ma\u2019s Bible.\u00a0\u00a0I know you told me once that you hardly ever looked at it after she died, and I thought you might like it.\u00a0\u00a0I asked Adam about it, and he said he thought you would.\u00a0\u00a0I know it ain\u2019t\u00a0Cristmas<\/span>, but this picture reminds me of Ma, the way you told me she was.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Love,<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Hoss<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i>Ben removed the cloths from the heavier item, and saw the back of a picture frame.\u00a0\u00a0He slowly\u00a0turned\u00a0\u00a0over<\/span>\u00a0the heavy, gilded frame and saw a painting of a little blonde girl with long, curly tresses flowing over her shoulders and about her face.\u00a0\u00a0On her head she wore a crown of candles; over one arm she carried a basket of fruit, while in the other hand, she carried a wooden flute with a sprig of holly tied about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0For a moment, tears blinded Ben.\u00a0\u00a0He put the picture hastily on the desk before him so he wouldn\u2019t drop it, and covered his face.\u00a0\u00a0Tears streamed down his cheeks, and when he looked about him, the sunlight nearly blinded him.\u00a0\u00a0He wiped his eyes, picked up the picture, and forced himself to look at it.\u00a0\u00a0This was the\u00a0Christkindl<\/span>, or\u00a0<\/span>St. Lucia<\/span>, who visited good children on Christmas Eve.\u00a0\u00a0Inger<\/span>, Hoss\u2019s mother, had introduced him and Adam to that tradition.\u00a0\u00a0He had forgotten how\u00a0Inger<\/span>\u00a0had put a crown of candles on her head and brought the gifts to him and young Adam, before Hoss had even been born.\u00a0\u00a0She had made sweetmeats and rolls as well.\u00a0\u00a0She had restored his joy in life, and been a mother to his motherless son, Adam.\u00a0\u00a0She had left them with the gift of her love, which Ben had thought could never be replaced after\u00a0<\/span>Elizabeth<\/span>\u00a0died.\u00a0\u00a0He looked again at the picture of the beautiful young girl.\u00a0\u00a0With the love\u00a0Inger<\/span>\u00a0had brought into his life, and her giving spirit, she had seemed, on those Christmas mornings, to be\u00a0<\/span>St. Lucia<\/span>\u00a0herself.\u00a0\u00a0Surely the\u00a0Christkindl<\/span>\u00a0could have taken on no fairer form.\u00a0\u00a0And the son she had left with Ben had the same spirit of love, kindness, and generosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The smell of coffee reached Ben.\u00a0\u00a0He carefully rewrapped the picture in the cloths, and carried the rolls and sweetmeats to the dining room table.\u00a0\u00a0In the kitchen, he removed the coffeepot from the stove, nearly burning his fingers.\u00a0\u00a0The memory of\u00a0Inger<\/span>\u00a0bringing gifts stopped the curse as it came to his lips.\u00a0\u00a0He found some eggs that Hop Sing had left in the springhouse, and several minutes later sat down at the dining room table with a breakfast of eggs, rolls,\u00a0sweetrolls<\/span>, and coffee.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The sun had risen above the large window, and filled the room with a vibrant glow.\u00a0\u00a0As Ben finished his breakfast, he thought how different it appeared now that he was alone.\u00a0\u00a0The light itself spoke of chores to be done; tasks to accomplish, and errands to run.\u00a0\u00a0It beckoned him outside as surely as if his foreman had knocked on the door and requested his presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He left the dishes on the table from habit, strapped on his gun, put on his hat, and left the house.\u00a0\u00a0He resisted the pull of the remaining gifts, and shut the door behind him.\u00a0\u00a0There would be time for more reminiscing after his work was done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0No one was in the yard, and Ben chided himself for not doing the chores before he ate.\u00a0\u00a0He went into the barn, and found all the stock cared for.\u00a0\u00a0Stalls had been mucked out, and mangers were filled.\u00a0\u00a0He had always insisted that his sons care for their horses and do those morning chores before breakfast, instead of leaving it to the hands.\u00a0\u00a0They must have asked one of the hands to do it for them while they were gone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben mounted Buck, and went to join the hands\u00a0who<\/span>\u00a0were digging new post holes and stringing new wire.\u00a0\u00a0As he approached, he could hear them shouting, laughing, and singing snatches of songs.\u00a0\u00a0He heard the echoing thud of an axe as it cut off an extra length of wood, the occasional neigh of a horse, and suddenly, a loud crash, followed by a burst of laughter.\u00a0\u00a0Raising his eyebrows, Ben rode over a hill to see a load of fence posts piled on the ground below a wagon, which had tilted back and spilled its load.\u00a0\u00a0Rising sheepishly from the ground was a hand whom Ben recognized as Curly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cUh-oh, Curly, you did that just in time for the boss to see!\u201d shouted someone.\u00a0\u00a0Everyone turned to see Ben approaching, and laughed again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Shorty<\/span>, the foreman, rode to Ben.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cMornin<\/span><\/span>\u2019 ,<\/span>\u00a0Mr. Cartwright,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI came to help,\u201d replied Ben, with some surprise.\u00a0\u00a0His eyes strayed toward Curly, and the\u00a0fenceposts<\/span>\u00a0next to him.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cGuess I know where to begin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As he rode toward the wagon,\u00a0Shorty<\/span>\u00a0hastened to ride beside him.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cNo need for you to do that, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d he said; \u201cno need at all.\u00a0\u00a0Curly wasn\u2019t\u00a0watchin<\/span>\u2019 what he was\u00a0doin<\/span>\u2019, bumped into the wagon, and spilled\u00a0ever\u2019thing<\/span>\u00a0all over.\u00a0\u00a0He and a couple of the others can pick it up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben reined Buck toward the\u00a0fenceline<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWell, then, I\u2019ll help dig the post holes, then.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, there\u2019s no need for that, either, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d sputtered\u00a0Shorty<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ve got everything under control here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben looked pointedly at the scattered poles and the laughing, joking men.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWell, we did, until Curly turned around,\u201d\u00a0Shorty<\/span>\u00a0hastened to add.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As Ben continued to the place where holes were being dug,\u00a0Shorty<\/span>\u00a0followed him.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cMr. Cartwright, why don\u2019t you just go on back to the house and relax today?\u00a0\u00a0There\u2019s no -\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben turned toward him with eyebrows lowered and dark eyes\u00a0smoldering<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cAre you implying that I\u2019m too old and feeble to do my share of work around here?\u201d he thundered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhy no, sir, not at all, sir!<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s just – well….Mr. Adam spoke to me afore he left, and he told me that since today\u2019s you\u2019re birthday, he didn\u2019t want you\u00a0doin<\/span>\u2019 anything.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s all, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben glared at him.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI appreciate your and Adam\u2019s wishes, but if I don\u2019t work, I\u2019ll go crazy in that house!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWell, then, sir, why don\u2019t you take a ride?\u00a0\u00a0Go into town, have some fun.\u00a0\u00a0Or go off someplace you\u2019ve been\u00a0wantin<\/span><\/span>\u2019<\/span>\u00a0to go, and haven\u2019t been able to for a while?\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m just trying to follow Mr. Adam\u2019s\u00a0ord<\/span>\u00a0–\u00a0er<\/span>, uh, do as he suggested, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben bit back a retort that Adam didn\u2019t give the orders; he did.\u00a0\u00a0But Adam had only been thinking of him when he asked the foreman not to let him work on this day.\u00a0\u00a0He thought of the crystal waters of\u00a0<\/span>Lake Tahoe<\/span>, and the remaining gifts on his desk.\u00a0\u00a0It was a warm, sunny day, with a pleasant breeze that carried the sharp scent of the pine trees and the fresh scent of the mountains beyond.\u00a0\u00a0Yes, a ride certainly sounded good.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cVery well,\u00a0Shorty<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0I guess I\u2019ll respect my son\u2019s \u2018wishes,\u2019 and go have \u2018fun\u2019.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0He smiled slightly as he turned his horse.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cBut tomorrow, I do the chores, and help with any other work.\u00a0\u00a0Understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYes, sir,\u201d replied\u00a0Shorty<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll see you tomorrow, then,\u201d replied Ben, and rode back to the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Shorty<\/span>\u00a0sighed with relief, and wondered if Adam had known how difficult his father would be when asked not to work.\u00a0\u00a0He had the feeling that Adam knew quite well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As Ben entered the door,\u00a0\u00a0the<\/span>\u00a0house felt cool and pleasant.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The dining room was a little darker, and it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust.\u00a0\u00a0He frowned when he saw the dishes on the table; then laughed.\u00a0\u00a0He was too accustomed to Hop Sing.\u00a0\u00a0He carried the dishes into the kitchen, where he left them in the sink.\u00a0\u00a0Then he got a sack from a cupboard, and began searching through the kitchen for some food to take on his excursion.\u00a0\u00a0A nice ride through the woodland to\u00a0<\/span>Lake Tahoe<\/span>\u00a0sounded perfect for a day like today.\u00a0\u00a0He packed some food for lunch and dinner, filled his canteen, and went back to the living room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He put the sack of food on the table, and walked slowly to his desk.\u00a0\u00a0Should he open the other gifts now, take them along, or wait until he arrived home?\u00a0\u00a0He picked up a large box, neatly wrapped in blue paper, with strong, flowing script written across it.\u00a0\u00a0The other was more clumsily wrapped, with a messy scrawl across it.\u00a0\u00a0Ben smiled.\u00a0\u00a0The larger one was most certainly from Adam:\u00a0\u00a0The neat wrapping job attested to that, even if he hadn\u2019t recognized his oldest son\u2019s handwriting.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He sat at his desk and carefully pulled away the paper from the neatly wrapped package, and slowly removed the lid.\u00a0\u00a0Nestled into the box, with cloths and paper carefully placed about it so it could not move, as the replica of a clipper ship.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben held his breath as he cautiously removed it from the box,\u00a0then<\/span>\u00a0gave a gasp of amazement when he saw the magnificent piece of work before him.\u00a0\u00a0It was exquisitely crafted;\u00a0\u00a0an<\/span>\u00a0exact model of the Wanderer.\u00a0\u00a0Polished wood formed the hull, deck, and masts; the sails were sewn from bits of canvas, and tiny ropes of twine formed the rigging.\u00a0\u00a0The anchor was made of pewter, as was the stand that the craft rested in.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben was glad for the first time that day that his sons were not home.\u00a0\u00a0He was speechless, and knew he could never have thanked Adam properly had his son been there.\u00a0\u00a0For the next several minutes, Ben feasted his eyes on the delicate work of art before him.\u00a0\u00a0He had no doubt that Adam had ordered this made\u00a0specially<\/span>\u00a0for him, and had probably made several requests in its construction.\u00a0\u00a0He wondered who had crafted it, and where, and how Adam had ever gotten it home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The silence hung heavily in the house as Ben looked about.\u00a0\u00a0From the looks of the light, it was past\u00a0<\/span>noon<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0If he wanted to get to\u00a0<\/span>Lake Tahoe<\/span>, spend some time riding about,\u00a0\u00a0and<\/span>\u00a0return home before dark, he should leave.\u00a0\u00a0He carefully moved the model ship to the\u00a0center<\/span>\u00a0of his desk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As he stood, a piece of paper on the floor caught his eye.\u00a0\u00a0It was folded and sealed, and had the same flowing script on it as the package he had just opened.\u00a0\u00a0He broke the seal.\u00a0\u00a0A small square of paper fell out into his lap.\u00a0\u00a0He laid it on the desk, and proceeded to read the note.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Dear Pa,<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I wish I could be here on your birthday.\u00a0\u00a0None of us wanted to leave you alone on your special day, but we all agreed that you shouldn\u2019t have to wait for us to return to open your gifts.\u00a0\u00a0When we get back, we\u2019ll have Hop Sing fix a birthday dinner and have a real celebration!\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I know you\u2019ll like the ship.\u00a0\u00a0I looked around for just the right person to make it, and I thought he did a wonderful job.\u00a0\u00a0It reminds me of Grandfather, and brings to mind the stories he told me during my college days, and the stories you told me about him and my mother when I was young.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0While I stayed at Grandfather\u2019s when I was in the East, I found my mother\u2019s book of\u00a0Paradise Lost<\/u>.\u00a0\u00a0Pressed between the pages was a lock\u00a0of\u00a0\u00a0hair<\/span>, which I assume was hers.\u00a0\u00a0I never asked Grandfather about it.\u00a0\u00a0He was always very sad whenever we spoke of her.\u00a0\u00a0I thought you might like\u00a0to\u00a0\u00a0have<\/span>\u00a0it, in her memory.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I \u2018ll<\/span><\/span>\u00a0see you soon.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Fondly,<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Adam<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i>Ben slowly laid the letter down, and picked up the square of paper on his desk.\u00a0\u00a0With trembling hands, he unfolded it.\u00a0\u00a0A soft curl of fine black hair slid into his hand.\u00a0\u00a0Yes, this was his first wife\u2019s hair.\u00a0\u00a0The raven-headed\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Elizabeth<\/span><\/span>, his beautiful love.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u00a0He wept for the second time that day, then looked at the\u00a0marvelous<\/span>\u00a0gift given to him by his eldest son, and realized that Elizabeth had bequeathed to their son not only black hair, but also\u00a0\u00a0his beautiful, changeable eyes,\u00a0intellegence<\/span>,\u00a0\u00a0sensitivity, and creativity.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He carefully tucked the lock of hair in his desk, and thanked God for his first wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The sun had passed its zenith by the time Ben finally got underway to the lake.\u00a0\u00a0He felt a sense of freedom that he hadn\u2019t known in years.\u00a0\u00a0For the first time, there were no contracts, no pressing cattlemen\u2019s association matters to deal with, and no stray cattle he had to dig out of holes.\u00a0\u00a0He could spend the entire afternoon and much of the evening relaxing and doing as he pleased.\u00a0\u00a0He thought with anticipation of Joe\u2019s gift in his saddlebag, and decided to wait until he had eaten to open it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He rode Buck at his leisure under trees, their shimmering green leaves resplendent in the golden\u00a0westering<\/span>\u00a0sun,\u00a0and\u00a0\u00a0entered<\/span>\u00a0a stand of pines.\u00a0\u00a0It was always darker, more solemn, and almost silent under them.\u00a0\u00a0He was grateful for the scurrying of animals in the undergrowth, and the startled cry and flurry of a bird as it flew away.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019d had enough of silence today, and was sure he would have his fill of it well before Hop Sing returned in a few\u00a0day\u2019s<\/span>\u00a0time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When Ben rode to the overlook by\u00a0<\/span>Lake Tahoe<\/span>, the azure water shone brilliantly below him,\u00a0\u00a0imbued<\/span>\u00a0with the brilliance of the afternoon sun, and surrounded by trees mounting the mountain slopes about it.\u00a0\u00a0He breathed deeply, and let the solitude sink deep within his soul.\u00a0\u00a0How often in the past had he come here to escape the sadness that dwelt deep within him?\u00a0\u00a0Each time, he had come away feeling refreshed, but he wondered if even such beauty as this had a limit in renewing such a troubled soul as his.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As his mind cleared and his spirit calmed, he rode slowly along the path at the top of the bluff.\u00a0\u00a0There was a nice grove in the pines ahead where he would stop to eat a late lunch.\u00a0\u00a0Then, he could go to Marie\u2019s grave, and open his youngest son\u2019s gift.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The clearing where he stopped was surrounded by tall, dark Ponderosa pines, and had a rocky pinnacle overlooking the lake.\u00a0\u00a0Ben leaned against the wide girth of a pine tree, pulled his food sack from his saddlebag, and ate his lunch.\u00a0\u00a0The sun sank to the top of the pines at the west of the lake, and he remembered his present from Joe.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Reluctantly, he mounted his horse and rode a short distance ahead to Marie\u2019s resting place.\u00a0\u00a0He pulled the package from his saddlebag, and smiled as he again saw the hurried, clumsy wrapping, and the scrawl attesting his youngest son\u2019s handiwork.\u00a0\u00a0He sat by the tombstone, and deciphered the inscription on the gift:\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0To Pa<\/b><\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Love, Joe<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i>Ben carefully pulled away the paper to reveal a wooden carving of a horse.\u00a0\u00a0Though small enough to fit within his hand, it stood tall and proud, with head held high.\u00a0\u00a0Ben almost\u00a0felt\u00a0\u00a0he<\/span>\u00a0was on its back when he saw the mane cascading behind it and the long tail flowing after in the wind of its speed.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He smiled when he recalled the Christmas and birthday gifts Marie had made for him and for the children.\u00a0\u00a0Marie had been a talented lady, and nothing enhanced her abilities more than her desire to create something new to please her sons, or her husband.\u00a0\u00a0Ben had no doubt that this gift from Joe was evidence of Marie\u2019s\u00a0talent .<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0Once in a while, when he wasn\u2019t running wild, Joe had indicated evidence of an artistic ability that reminded Ben of the boy\u2019s mother.\u00a0\u00a0Ben was certain that Joe had carved this independently of his brothers\u2019 knowledge, and had unwittingly displayed his talent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben saw a roughly folded piece of paper within the wrapping, and opened it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Dear\u00a0\u00a0Pa<\/i><\/b><\/span>,<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0This horse reminds me of Mama:\u00a0\u00a0her independence, her free spirit, and her determination to conquer all who set themselves against her – or you.\u00a0\u00a0She was a beautiful lady, and this horse reminds me of her.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Mama made lots of things for us while she was here.\u00a0\u00a0I never made anything for her.\u00a0\u00a0But I believe she would like this horse.\u00a0\u00a0It reminds me of her:\u00a0\u00a0free, a little wild, and carefree.\u00a0\u00a0Even though Mama died, I\u2019m glad she was the way she was.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve done a very\u00a0good\u00a0\u00a0job<\/span>\u00a0of carving this horse, but I think she would like it.\u00a0\u00a0I also don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve done very well in school, or doing my chores, or being your son, but I know Mama would love me anyway.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I just want to say I love you, Pa, and I want you to be proud of me.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll work hard all my life to make you and Adam and Hoss proud of me.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I love you,<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Joseph, your youngest son<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben closed his eyes, determined that tears would not again overtake him.\u00a0\u00a0But despite his will, he felt the dampness on his cheeks, and cursed his weakness.\u00a0\u00a0Wild and free:\u00a0\u00a0yes, that described Marie.\u00a0\u00a0It also described her son.\u00a0\u00a0He looked at the gift again, and choked and shuddered over the resemblance of the independent spirit of the horse to his youngest son.\u00a0\u00a0No wonder he had so much trouble with Joe, curbing his impulses, reining in his exuberance, and\u00a0channeling<\/span>\u00a0his energy.\u00a0\u00a0Joe was his mother\u2019s son in every way.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Each of his boys was so different from the other; yet each had his own\u00a0indescirbable<\/span>\u00a0and unmatchable gift.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cOh, Marie,\u201d thought Ben, \u201cI can\u2019t do it.\u00a0\u00a0I can\u2019t!\u00a0\u00a0I can\u2019t raise our son by myself!\u00a0\u00a0He runs in all directions!\u00a0\u00a0Neither I nor both of my other sons combined can keep his fires banked.\u00a0\u00a0He is every inch your son:\u00a0\u00a0He has your passion, your exuberance, your fire and loyalty, and your impulsive nature.\u00a0\u00a0If I don\u2019t watch closely, he\u2019ll destroy himself!\u00a0\u00a0How can I help him to be the best he can be?\u00a0\u00a0How can I raise him right without you?\u00a0\u00a0He won\u2019t go in the right direction;\u00a0\u00a0he<\/span>\u00a0runs after everything, good and bad, for all the right reasons!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Ben sobbed for several moments, and finally choked out, \u201cOh, God, help me!\u00a0\u00a0Help me with my son!\u00a0\u00a0All of my sons!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0He buried his face in his hands and cried long and hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When he raised his head several minutes later, the sun had gone behind the mountains on the western side of the lake.\u00a0\u00a0He looked at the red-gold halo surrounding the trees, and the even deeper azure of the lake, and realized he must go home.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But he couldn\u2019t move.\u00a0\u00a0Exhaustion had\u00a0paralyzed<\/span>\u00a0him, and he leaned back against a nearby tree and closed his eyes.\u00a0\u00a0Gradually, slowly,\u00a0tranquility<\/span>\u00a0replaced his weariness.\u00a0\u00a0He opened his eyes, and saw the sunset turning\u00a0<\/span>Lake Tahoe<\/span>\u00a0to various hues of gold, red, deep blue, and purple.\u00a0\u00a0The pine trees stood starkly against the grandeur of the western sky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The last light of sunset illumined Marie\u2019s tombstone.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cMarie Cartwright, I will always remember you,\u201d swore Ben.\u00a0\u00a0He looked at the fading light on the lake below him, and recalled\u00a0<\/span>Elizabeth<\/span>\u2019s enthusiasm about his dream for a life for them out West.\u00a0\u00a0His eyes lifted to the trees, and he heard\u00a0Inger\u2019s<\/span>\u00a0voice, pushing him toward his dream.\u00a0\u00a0He looked once more at the tombstone before him, and saw Marie as she cared for his older sons and guided Joseph.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben raised his glistening eyes to the last rays of the setting sun.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cFather, thank you for my sons.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0Thank you for my wives, the loves of my life.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0His breath caught, and he stifled a sob.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou have always pointed the way ever so faithfully, and I trust you to do so now.\u00a0\u00a0Help me to lead all of my sons, especially Joseph, in the way they should go.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I love them, Father.\u00a0\u00a0Let me be able to show them that I love them, each of them, for\u00a0who<\/span>\u00a0and what they are.\u00a0\u00a0I feel so alone sometimes.\u00a0\u00a0Strengthen me, and them, and guide all of us in the right way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben again shut his eyes, and was surprised when waves of strength slowly flowed over him.\u00a0\u00a0When he opened his eyes, the land about him was dark, and the lake and the western sky held only a hint of the grandeur he had just witnessed.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But he mounted Buck, and rode the darkened path through the pines, under the aspens, and through the open country to the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0The stars that emerged from the eastern sky lit the well-trodden road to his home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0His home.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0His sons\u2019 home.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0Marie\u2019s home.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0Everyone\u2019s home.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0This home he had was built not only with the sweat of his brow, and with the help of his sons, but also with each of his wives.\u00a0\u00a0Their dreams, their encouragement, their love, and their sons, had made it possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He saw a light in the window as he approached the house, and wondered who was there.\u00a0\u00a0When he dismounted,\u00a0Shorty<\/span>\u00a0emerged from the bunkhouse, and insisted on putting up Buck.\u00a0\u00a0Ben went into the house, and found the fire lit, a lamp lighting the room, and a place set for him at the table.\u00a0\u00a0As he looked on in wonder, Hop Sing emerged from the kitchen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWelcome home, Mr. Cartwright!\u201d he exclaimed.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou wash up, and I bring dinner!\u00a0\u00a0You late!\u00a0\u00a0I think you not coming!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben stared at him in consternation.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI – I didn\u2019t know you were coming back today, Hop Sing!\u00a0\u00a0What a surprise!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Hop Sing laughed.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou really surprised!\u00a0\u00a0Of course I come back today!\u00a0\u00a0Today is special day – Mr. Cartwright\u2019s birthday!\u00a0\u00a0Mr. Adam, and Hoss and Joe, they ask me to try to come back today!\u00a0\u00a0I have good dinner fixed!\u00a0\u00a0You wash up, and eat!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben unbuckled his\u00a0gunbelt<\/span>, and left it and his hat on the credenza.\u00a0\u00a0As he approached the table, Hop Sing furiously gestured toward the washbasin.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cNo, no!!\u00a0\u00a0You wash up first!\u00a0\u00a0Then, you eat!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ben smiled as he complied.\u00a0\u00a0Everything was almost back to normal.\u00a0\u00a0Once his sons returned home, he would forget what it felt like to be alone.\u00a0\u00a0He dried his hands on a towel, and sat at the table, anticipating what smelled like fried chicken and potatoes.\u00a0\u00a0What a shame the boys weren\u2019t here to share it.\u00a0\u00a0But they would be back, and then, they could celebrate together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Yes, they would be back.\u00a0\u00a0They would always be back.\u00a0\u00a0And together, they would continue the love, laughter, and spirit of the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As he hungrily tucked into his birthday meal, he realized that with the legacy of his three beloved wives, and the indomitable spirit of his sons, he could never be alone again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

THE END<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0Ben is alone on his birthday, while his sons are off carrying out various duties for the Ponderosa. He comes downstairs and finds gifts left for him which take him on a journey of remembrance.
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (5,720 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12436,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1004,23],"tags":[1329],"class_list":["post-63146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ben-cartwright","category-drama","tag-birthday","wpcat-1004-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":52,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49277,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49277","url_meta":{"origin":63146,"position":0},"title":"The Cartwright Family (by LindaBl)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"May 22, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0A cute new song about the Cartwrights Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words:\u00a0 270","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49897,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49897","url_meta":{"origin":63146,"position":1},"title":"Hoss’ Meditation (by Katie)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"July 25, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 I think we underestimated Hoss Cartwright Rating: G\u00a0 (690 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Hoss Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Hoss Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1006"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49892,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49892","url_meta":{"origin":63146,"position":2},"title":"The Savage (WHN) (by Katie)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"August 6, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 An alternate ending to the episode, The Savage Rating:\u00a0 Teen\u00a0 (775\u00a0 Words)","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":50559,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=50559","url_meta":{"origin":63146,"position":3},"title":"Night Guard (by Sadie Spinner)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"March 21, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0A young Adam is determined to take part in guarding his father's new herd of cattle. 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