Summary:\u00a0 The saga continues with Adam on his honeymoon
\nRating:\u00a0 PG13\u00a0 (59,090 words)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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The Cartwright Saga Series:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The Lawyer <\/a><\/span> \n Honeymoon and Arguments<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Book 1 – Adam and Carole head east on their honeymoon, but life isn’t as easy for other members of the family.<\/strong><\/p>\n The day after his wedding Adam lazed late in bed with Carole in his arms. He was loath to get up; enjoying the feel of his wife\u2019s body snug against his, but eventually Carole persuaded him to let her go, she was starving. With all the excitement she had hardly eaten anything the previous day. Carole started to get dressed, promising to fetch one of Adam\u2019s brothers to help him up; he was too heavy for her. Adam agreed, but when she was dressed she came and sat down next to him burying her head in his shoulder. Puzzled Adam lifted her up and to his surprise she was bright red, blushing furiously. Adam asked \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter my love?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole couldn\u2019t meet his eyes and stared out of the window \u201cI just feel embarrassed. Not sure how I can face your father or your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n For a moment Adam couldn\u2019t understand and asked \u201cWhy?\u201d and then it quickly dawned on him and he pulled her close \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to be embarrassed about carrying out normal urges, fulfilling needs. You weren\u2019t embarrassed with me and what happens between us is none of my family\u2019s business.\u201d Despite his words Carole wouldn\u2019t let him go and Adam kissed her forehead \u201cDarling you have to face the world sometime. Much as I enjoy holding you as you said earlier I\u2019m starving.\u201d Carole was half laughing, half-crying but nodded \u201cAlright I\u2019ll go find Joe or Hoss.\u201d She wiped her face and patted her hair into place and emerged into the outside world.<\/p>\n As she started to go downstairs Little Joe put his head out of his room \u201cGood morning sister-in-law.\u201d She turned to him blushing and Joe came over and kissed her on the cheek \u201cEverything okay Carole?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded \u201cAdam wants a hand to get dressed. I was going to look for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Suddenly serious Joe asked, \u201cHe didn\u2019t do any harm with all that walking yesterday?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo he seems fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned broadly \u201cI\u2019ll go and get him up.\u201d He found Adam lazing back in bed and looking very pleased with himself and very content. Joe grinned down at his brother \u201cWorth waiting for Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned happily up at Joe \u201cLess cheek from you young man. Just get me dressed I\u2019m starving.\u201d Joe did as he was bid and then wheeled Adam downstairs. Ben came over \u201cWhat do you want breakfast or lunch?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed \u201cI don\u2019t care as long as its food. If you\u2019re not allowed to lie in on your honeymoon, when are you?\u201d Ben had been worried that Adam had overdone things the previous day but one look at his son\u2019s face had dispelled all doubts.<\/p>\n For the next ten days Adam and Carole enjoyed themselves, lazing around or picnicking out on the range. The weather was perfect and they were able to show Carole\u2019s parents around the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n Will and Laura and the kids had to return to San Francisco and Ben thanked his nephew for his help. It had been invaluable but now with Joe fit and the flume repaired the ranch was in good case again. Shortly before they were due to leave Adam asked Will to walk out back with him. Adam was gradually dispensing with the chair but he wasn\u2019t strong enough to risk leaving the house unattended. Will went out with his cousin, Adam using his arm to lean on and just steady himself over the rough ground. Eventually Adam conceded defeat and sat down. For a while the cousins didn\u2019t speak and then Adam said, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you came back. Don\u2019t leave it so long again.\u201d<\/p>\n Will smiled \u201cYou know why I did, but it ain\u2019t relevant now. We\u2019ll be coming back, sorta regular I reckon. Laura and your Carole have become real friendly.\u201d Then he changed the subject and the cousins discussed the latest spate of rumours that had emerged about the mines. Later that day Adam sat and watched Will and Laura leave, happy that his cousin could now come home when he wanted to,<\/p>\n By the end of the ten days when Carole\u2019s parents were going onto San Francisco, Adam had completely dispensed with the chair. He had arranged to stay with Carole\u2019s parents in Hillsboro for ten days later in the year, just before they returned west from their honeymoon, so Carole wasn\u2019t too upset watching them leave. She had loved having her parents there, revelling in showing them her new life and letting them get to know her marvellous new husband. Adam let his little brother take the Kings in to catch the stage on the first leg of their journey; it was easier for Carole to say goodbye to her parents in private at the ranch.<\/p>\n Adam was planning to go to New York and stay there for a fortnight, then spend another two weeks in Boston before travelling to Hillsboro for ten days. He intended to set out four days after Carole\u2019s parents left, determined to get home in time to complete his new house and move in before Christmas.<\/p>\n Ben wasn\u2019t too happy at the idea, but he knew Adam was too stubborn to make it worthwhile arguing. Adam might have dispensed with the chair but only the previous day he had seen Adam collapse on Joe\u2019s bed unable to make his own room after the effort of climbing the stairs. It was a long tough trip for a weak man. Ben hadn\u2019t said anything and he had tried not to watch his eldest son too closely, or at least not to let Adam see. Still Adam was happier now than Ben could remember him being for years.<\/p>\n Two days before they were going east, Adam wanted to go into town and draw out some cash and arrange for drawing rights in banks in New York and Boston. Little Joe had to go to town to collect some supplies and he offered to drive his brother in. Adam gratefully accepted, he hadn\u2019t even attempted to ride yet, knowing that his legs were still far too weak to grip properly. It was a long way to town, further than Adam had yet been and he found the jolting of the wagon on the ruts in the road, hard to take. He did his best to hide it from his brother and Joe recognised his unwillingness to talk and let him off at the bank. They arranged to meet in the Palace saloon in an hour once they had both completed their errands.<\/p>\n Adam stood on the sidewalk for a moment watching the bustle of Virginia City. Then he walked slowly into the bank and asked to see Mr Harris, the manager. Harris was a good friend of the Cartwrights and he knew that Adam had only been back on his feet for a couple of weeks, so he invited him into is office and got him sitting down and gave him a coffee laced with brandy. Adam was grateful to sit down in a chair which didn\u2019t move and the drink went down well. Adam outlined what he required, and while Harris was surprised that he intended to travel so soon it was none of his business, he just made the arrangements that Adam wanted. It took Harris about twenty minutes and after that period to relax Adam felt much better. Harris offered to send one of his clerks with Adam over to the Palace but Adam insisted that it wasn\u2019t necessary he was okay. Adam took it slowly and reached the Palace without any real difficulty. He saw Dan de Quille in his usual position at the bar and made his way over to his friend. Dan was surprised to see Adam on his feet, especially on his own and Adam grinned at his friend as Dan said \u201cCome and sit down Adam I\u2019ll get you a drink\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed \u201cI\u2019m okay, don\u2019t fuss Dan, but I will have a beer. Joe is meeting me here as soon as he gets the stores loaded.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan sat down with his friend and asked how he was enjoying married life. They chatted for a while and then Adam mentioned that he was going east in two days time. Dan made no effort to hide his opinion and told Adam that he was a fool, he was nowhere near fit enough to face the long journey. All he would do was to make himself ill again and end up flat on his back, far from family and friends, and terrify Carole. Adam just grinned at his friend as Dan told him what a fool he was being in forthright terms. Adam said \u201cI\u2019ll be fine as soon as we reach the train, the only bit I\u2019m dreading is the stage. Anyway if we leave it any longer I\u2019ll end up back east for Christmas.\u201d Dan snorted but as he tried to carry on the argument, Adam\u2019s grin faded, and he said very firmly \u201cI don\u2019t want to discuss it Dan\u201d Dan knew Adam too well to carry on with that expression on his friend\u2019s face and he allowed Adam to change the subject.<\/p>\n Half an hour later Joe came in having loaded everything and he got a beer and joined Adam and Dan. As he finished his beer he looked at his brother \u201cYou ready to go home Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded and pulled himself to his feet. He looked tired and Joe said \u201cDo you want a hand?\u201d but his brother just pushed past him and walked out to the buckboard and pulled himself aboard. Roy saw Adam and, glad to see his friend back on his feet, wandered over to have a word and it was ten minutes before the brothers could get away. The traffic was as bad as usual and it took Joe nearly half an hour to edge through it to the Ponderosa road.<\/p>\n Adam was very tired and he found the wagon jolting very hard to take. Little Joe kept glancing at his brother, who was white even to his lips, but he knew Adam too well to say anything and concentrated on finding the easiest possible route, wanting to get Adam home to recover.<\/p>\n Eventually two miles short of the house Adam had to ask Joe to pull up and help him down. Joe did so and Adam was violently sick. Little Joe held his brother until the paroxysm was over and then washed his face and gave Adam the canteen to wash out his mouth. Adam pulled away from his brother and moving up the hill, laid down and tried to relax as that damned pain in his gut hit him again. Joe left him in peace for ten minutes and then went up and sat down next to him, but without speaking. The brothers sat in silence for a while and eventually Adam broke it \u201cI want your promise Joe, not to tell Pa or Carole what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe rested on one elbow and looked down at his brother \u201cAre you still going on this trip in two days time?\u201d Adam nodded and Joe shook his head \u201cThen I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t promise they have a right to know. Maybe one of them can talk some sense into that thick skull of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have to go Joe. I promised Carole.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s the last person, who would want you to go while you\u2019re still unfit. All you are going to do is worry and upset her if you go now. Why not leave it just for a few weeks?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head \u201cNo I want to be in my own home for Christmas, unless we go now there won\u2019t be any chance of that.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe sighed heavily \u201cYou won\u2019t be in any home for Christmas if you kill yourself through being pigheaded.\u201d For a minute the brothers sat glaring at each other and then Adam said \u201cI\u2019ll be okay once we get on the train. We\u2019ll travel first class and I can rest and take it easy. Those sleepers are quite comfortable now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head \u201cAdam be sensible it\u2019s an eighteen hour stage ride to the train terminus. We were only in the wagon for an hour and a half and I was taking the easiest route. It will be twice as rough on the stage. You\u2019ll never make it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glared at him, \u201cI will somehow\u201d but he knew his brother was talking sense and he dreaded the stage trip. They sat in silence for a while and then Adam said \u201cJoe I know I\u2019ll be alright on the train. I can rest then and by the time we get to New York I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t look altogether convinced but Adam went on \u201cI admit I\u2019m dreading the stage trip, especially after today but I\u2019ll manage somehow. I am not putting this trip back. The foundations of my house are being laid and I trust you and Hoss to put up the shell from my plans but I am going to supervise the inside. I\u2019ve waited a long time for my own home and I want us to be in it for our first Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou said that before big brother, still don\u2019t make you fit.\u201d Joe considered his brother maybe their father could dissuade him.<\/p>\n Adam eased himself up onto one elbow and faced his brother \u201cI am going in two days time Joe, but if you agree, maybe not by stage.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was puzzled, but he said, \u201cI\u2019m listening.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you would come with us to the rail terminus, take our own buckboard, then we can stop when we want and we needn\u2019t rush. I\u2019m sure I\u2019d be okay then, but it\u2019s a long drive there and back for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit his lip staring at his brother \u201cI don\u2019t mind the drive and it would be easier, but it would still be better if you waited, just another couple of weeks,\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head, the stubborn look that Joe knew so well on his face, \u201cWe are going as planned, either you take us or we\u2019ll catch the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew he had never once changed his brother\u2019s mind, once that expression appeared and he gave way, \u201cAlright, provided Pa and Carole agree, I\u2019ll take you, but we\u2019ll take longer than the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe were going to have to wait twenty-four hours for the train anyway, so we can take our time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay I guess we can take it reasonably easy.\u201d Joe smiled \u201cYou win as always big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne more thing Joe, don\u2019t tell Pa or Carole about this. I don\u2019t want to worry them.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head \u201cOh no, not this time big brother. Maybe one of them might get through that thick skull of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled himself to his feet \u201cI won\u2019t change my mind Joe, so what\u2019s the point?\u201d Joe got and faced his brother, knowing Adam was right, noone was likely to change his mind. He sighed and went part way \u201cWell maybe I won\u2019t tell them, but I ain\u2019t making any promises. Now if you feel up to it we\u2019d better get on home before Pa sends out a search party.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam put his arm round Joe\u2019s shoulders \u201cI know you\u2019re only worrying about me little brother but don\u2019t fuss. I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d He let Joe help him up onto the wagon and they soon reached the house.<\/p>\n Ben had been worrying how Adam would cope with the trip into town and he was relieved to see his son looked fine as he walked in. Ben had tied to dissuade Adam from going East so soon but he knew why his son was eager to go and get back and knew also that it was a waste of time to continue arguing. All he could do was to tell Carole that if it became necessary, in her opinion, to telegraph and one of them would come immediately to help out wherever they were. She had promised to let him know even if Adam objected, as his father knew he would.<\/p>\n Carole had already done her best to dissuade Adam. They could always take a trip the following year and he had now met her parents, but Adam flatly refused to consider any change in his plans. He wasn\u2019t giving in just because he wasn\u2019t as strong as he had expected. There was no knowing what would come up next year to stop them, even hopefully a pregnancy. She was going to have the trip that he had promised her.<\/p>\n Adam told Carole the change he proposed and she was delighted. At least his brother would be around to help them onto the train. Once installed in the train they could sit back and wait to arrive in New York where Adam had arranged for Edwin Booth to meet them. Carole went straight down to find Little Joe. Joe had wondered how she would feel about having a third along at the start of their wedding trip, but she dispelled all his doubts and worries of playing gooseberry. Carole gave him a big hug \u201cI\u2019m so relieved Joe. I was dreading the first part. Once we are on the train I can cope. I know he’s not fit enough to go and he won\u2019t listen to me when I say I don\u2019t care. With your help it will be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned \u201cYou chose him. Pigheaded and obstinate. But I\u2019ll get you on the train.”<\/p>\n Adam had told his father what he wanted and Ben was glad to get even that concession. He didn\u2019t push for the reason but he made his son promise to send them word if he needed help. Adam promised but laughed at his father, he\u2019d be fine Ben said \u201cI know you\u2019re already immeasurably better than when you got married but you\u2019re still pretty weak. All that I ask is that you don\u2019t overdo it, risk undermining your health by not asking for help. You owe Carole that much, it\u2019ll only worry her,\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gripped his father\u2019s shoulder momentarily \u201cAlright I promise, if it will put your mind at rest, but honestly I will be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben cuffed his son gently \u201cSure you will Adam, just take it easy.\u201d<\/p>\n Later that night when Adam and Carole had gone up to their room, Ben said \u201cRight Joe what happened to make Adam agree to take you along. I suggested it three days back but he wouldn\u2019t have any part of it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was surprised \u201cI didn\u2019t realise you had already suggested it Pa. It was Adam\u2019s suggestion not mine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened, or did he make you promise not to tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned his father knew them very well \u201cHe tried Pa but for once I didn\u2019t. It wasn\u2019t anything much, just the trip tired him more than he expected. You know that road at this time of year, it\u2019s terribly rutted and however careful I was he got well jolted. I think he finally realised that he\u2019d never make eighteen hours in a stagecoach. At least in the buckboard we can stop if he needs to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWas he sick?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded \u201cVery, but I think if he had only got me to stop a bit earlier and taken a break instead of trying to fight it, he\u2019d have been okay. Anyway it\u2019s a waste of time arguing with him. I\u2019ve tried and so has Carole.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben said \u201cAdd me to the list. He\u2019s as obstinate as a mule.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe grinned \u201cOr maybe even as obstinate as his old man.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben ruffled his son\u2019s hair \u201cA little less of the old!\u201d<\/p>\n Two days later the buckboard was packed and the three were ready to leave. Hoss had detailed instructions for the house building, and promised to have the shell completed by the time they returned. Ben just told them to have a good time and then with Hoss he watched the buggy leave. Hoss tried to reassure his father \u201cJoe will get them on the train and then big brother can go play for a while. He\u2019s earned it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben forced a smile \u201cI\u2019m sure they will have a great time.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss answered the concern he could see in his father\u2019s eyes \u201cStop worrying Pa, Carole will look after him.\u201d Ben nodded, warmed by his big son\u2019s presence and putting his arm round Hoss\u2019 shoulders he headed into the house.<\/p>\n Little Joe had made his brother promise to speak up as soon as he felt the need of a stop and not to fight against it until he was ill. They took it very steady and Adam seemed to be standing up to the jolting very well. After a bit he took over the reins and having something to do made him feel easier. Gradually however the rough jolting had its effect and he fell silent and was slowly losing colour. Little Joe had no great faith in his brother\u2019s sense when it came to admitting his own weakness and he\u2019d been keeping a close eye on Adam. As Adam\u2019s remarks became more and more forced Joe looked questioningly at Carole, who nodded. Little Joe said \u201cI think its time we stopped for lunch.\u201d Adam protested it was only eleven thirty but Carole agreed and so he pulled off the road. Adam let Joe help him down and then he lay back and relaxed. Little Joe looked down at his eldest brother, wondering whether it was worth reminding his brother of his promise. Adam opened his eyes, looked up at Joe and grinned faintly \u201cI\u2019ll be good little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head \u201cImpossible!\u201d but he was grinning. Then he left his brother to rest while he helped Carole to lay out the food, which Hop Sing had provided. Gradually as he relaxed Adam felt better and he managed a good meal. After coffee they decided to head on and take another break later, rather than a longer break now.<\/p>\n They made good time during the day, stopping every couple of hours to let Adam recover. They kept going until dark, so that they wouldn\u2019t have to rush the following day. By the time they finally stopped Adam was exhausted and didn\u2019t want any food or even coffee. He was too tired to even put on an act. Joe helped Carole get out Adam\u2019s bedroll and wrap his brother up warmly. Adam lay back and shut his eyes and he was soon asleep. Joe prepared coffee while Carole picked at some food, staring anxiously at her husband. Joe tried to reassure her \u201cTake it easy. He\u2019s stood up to the journey much better than I expected. It won\u2019t be such a long day tomorrow. I didn\u2019t expect him to get through the day without being sick.”<\/p>\n Carole accepted the coffee Joe offered her \u201cI just wish he would have agreed to leave this trip until he was fit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know how you feel Carole, but you knew how pigheaded he was when you married him. Do you really want him any different?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole had to laugh \u201cI guess not Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n The following afternoon, they reached the terminus of the railroad much to Adam\u2019s relief. Little Joe checked them in at the hotel and then leaving Adam and Carole to take it easy, he went and checked their train bookings and the exact time the train would leave the following day. Then his duties discharged, Joe wandered into the saloon to get a drink.<\/p>\n At the hotel Adam was gratefully lazing out on the bed. Carole sat by his side and Adam was trying to convince her that he was fine but he wasn\u2019t getting very far. Eventually he took hold of her and pulled her down next to him and kissed her. She protested \u201cJoe will be back in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed \u201cMy little brother will have gone to the saloon, he\u2019s earned it. Anyway he was well brought up, he\u2019ll knock.\u201d Half an hour later she was breathlessly forced to admit the maybe there wasn\u2019t all that much wrong with him.<\/p>\n Little Joe was chatting with a couple of cowboys, who had worked for the Ponderosa the previous year. They had heard rumours of the fight and wanted to know what had actually happened. Little Joe filled them in briefly and they were protesting that nothing exciting had ever happened while they were working on the ranch. Joe said, \u201cWe could have done without that fight too. I was flat on my back for over a month and Adam\u2019s only been back on his feet for a couple of weeks.\u201d As they talked a girl came down the stairs. She was blonde and very lovely, tiny but with all the right curves in the right places. Joe couldn\u2019t take his eyes off her. She was dressed like the other saloon girls, but she wore no paint and as she approached Joe was convinced that she didn\u2019t need any. He excused himself and moved along next to her and offered to buy her a drink. She accepted and they went over to a table in the corner. Little Joe introduced himself and learnt her name was Marie. He grinned \u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful name, same as my mother\u2019s\u201d They sat chatting easily for half an hour and then Joe had to get back to the hotel, knowing that Adam and Carole were expecting him to join them for dinner. Joe asked if she would be there that evening and Marie nodded, so he said, \u201cI hope I\u2019ll see you later.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe went back to join Adam and Carole, still under her spell. She was very different from most saloon girls that he had known and he was very sure that he wanted to see her again. He went and washed and changed rapidly, trying to snap out of his daydream, not wanting to have to answer questions.<\/p>\n Adam and Carole were ready and waiting. Adam grinned at his brother \u201cI guessed you\u2019d head for the saloon, we were just about to start without you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe flared up \u201cI only had three drinks.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam clapped his brother on the shoulder \u201cEasy Joe, you earned however many drinks you want, putting up with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned sheepishly \u201cLet\u2019s go eat.\u201d It was a quiet meal, Joe was miles away and Adam very tired. As soon as they\u2019d finished their meal Adam said that he was going to bed. Carole wanted to take the opportunity to wash her hair and then proposed to have a read.<\/p>\n Joe promised to join them for breakfast and get them onto the train, which was due to leave at nine-thirty. Adam asked, \u201cYou okay for cash?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah I\u2019m fine. I\u2019ll try not to get arrested so don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed \u201cI gave up worrying years ago, send word if you end up in jail.\u201d Joe punched his shoulder \u201cGo get some sleep big brother I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe went back to the saloon and eagerly scanned the crowd but the petite saloon girl was nowhere to be seen. Joe wandered over to the bar and got himself a beer and waited impatiently for her to come in. After a while Joe wandered over to join a large crowd, watching a high stake poker game. There was one heavy winner, a tall dark-haired man, who had all the earmarks of a professional gambler. His luck was well in and Joe saw him scoop three pools of over a thousand dollars each, within ten minutes. One of the players was losing very badly and also drinking heavily. He was gradually getting redder and redder in the face and Joe watching came to the conclusion that trouble was likely. Joe knew the man\u2019s face was familiar and eventually he placed him, a cattle buyer name of Ellsworth. Ben had done business with him, but only once, as Ellsworth had tried to underpay him. Joe recognised that it was none of his business; all he wanted was to see Marie again. Eventually his patience was rewarded and he saw her coming down the stairs. Joe had gone back to the bar for another beer and he watched Marie head straight over to the poker game. She stationed herself behind the successful gambler and Joe noticed the way the man turned and put his arm round her waist.<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t like it but had to admit that it was none of his business. He wandered over and stationed himself right opposite her. For a moment she didn\u2019t notice him but then looking up she recognised the young cowboy and smiled at him. Joe wanted to get her on her own to talk to but he knew this wasn\u2019t the time, so he just grinned and waited hopefully maybe he would get an opportunity later.<\/p>\n As he waited tensions round the poker table flared higher, until eventually Ellsworth accused the gambler of cheating. The crowd immediately drew back as the two men rose to clear their guns. For once in his life Joe went with the crowd and didn\u2019t try and interfere in what was patently not his business. Within a few seconds the crowd had backed right away from the men. They both went for their guns and the shots were virtually simultaneous, both men fell. Marie threw herself down by the gambler and Joe moved forward to see if he could help, but one look at the man\u2019s glazed eyes showed that he was past help. Marie seemed to realise it at the same timeand burst into tears burying her face on his chest. One of the other saloon girls helped her to her feet and led her off. Ellsworth had only been hit in the shoulder and two of his friends helped him to his feet, just as the sheriff arrived. Joe accepted that there would be no chance of talking to Marie, and somehow not feeling like a drink, left the saloon and went back to the hotel.<\/p>\n After Joe left there were plenty of witnesses that it had been a fair fight and the sheriff soon left, having ordered some of the men to take the body down to the undertakers. Ellsworth, with a pad on his shoulder wound, insisted on going upstairs to see Marie. He was rich and powerful in the town and there were plenty to help him do what he wanted. Marie was lying on the bed sobbing, when he pushed the door open. As she realised whom it was she whirled up, to stand her back against the wall, as though expecting a physical attack. Ellsworth said \u201cYou came to town with him, you were his woman. He was a card sharp and we don\u2019t want trash like you in this town. You were part of it, you have two hours to get out of town.\u201d Marie cowered back in the corner, she wanted to protest that he wasn\u2019t a card sharp but somehow she couldn\u2019t find the words. Ellsworth went on \u201cIf, after that, you are still around, we\u2019ll ride you out on a rail.\u201d Then he turned and went downstairs.<\/p>\n One of the other saloon girls, who had been in town longer, said \u201cHe means every word of it Marie and he won\u2019t find any difficulty in getting men to do his bidding. You\u2019ve got to get out of town.\u201d Marie was stunned, but two of the girls hastily packed her bag for her and one went to try and hire a horse. She was unsuccessful, as the livery stable had already been warned and wasn\u2019t prepared to let any of the girls have one. Time was getting short and eventually Marie said \u201cI\u2019ll walk out of town and cadge a lift tomorrow.\u201d Nobody had any better suggestion to make and the girl trudged out of town. She was stunned by the last couple of hours and all she wanted was to get away, on her own, to try and come to terms with it.<\/p>\n The following morning Joe was up early and called for his brother for breakfast, before they were ready, much to Adam\u2019s surprise. He had expected to have to root Joe out and probably have to deal with a hangover. He told Joe to come on in; Carole was just doing her hair. Little Joe was very quiet but insisted that there was nothing wrong, just a shooting over a poker game the previous evening had somehow cast a pall over proceedings and he\u2019d come home early. Adam looked suspiciously at his youngest brother, but Joe said \u201cHonest Adam, I wasn\u2019t involved at all.\u201d Then he changed the subject. Adam sensed that there was something more that Joe wasn\u2019t telling him, but as his brother obviously didn\u2019t want to discuss it, Adam didn\u2019t push. Instead Adam sat down and made a detailed summary of exactly where they would be and when, just in case something should come up and they needed to contact him.<\/p>\n After breakfast Joe got them installed in the first class sleeper which would be theirs until they reached New York. Then he slipped off to find the attendant for that section. He gave the man fifty dollars and asked him to do what he could for the couple, like keeping one bed made up all day, in case Adam needed it and if necessary bringing food along to the cabin. Joe explained that his brother had been badly hurt and was still not fully fit. The man, a middle aged Italian, promised to keep an eye on them and Joe felt sure that he could be trusted to do as he promised. Then Joe went back to take his leave of Adam and Carole, having done all he could to make life a little easier for his brother. Joe kissed Carole and told the pair to have a good time and he would see them in October. It was time for him to leave and Adam walked along the train with him and again thanked his brother for his help. Joe cuffed him gently \u201cTake care of yourself Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood and watched the train pull out with a silent prayer that his brother would cope and come back home fit and well. Then he went to fetch the buckboard to head home. He couldn\u2019t resist wandering into the saloon once more before he went home, just to see if there was any sign of Marie. She wasn\u2019t in sight but Joe got a beer and got into conversation with one of the other girls. He learnt what had happened the previous night, after he had left the saloon, and that Marie had been run out of town. The girls weren\u2019t even sure which road she had planned on taking, so there was nothing Joe could do. No longer feeling like a drink Joe left his beer half finished and headed for the buckboard so sorry for the young girl but unable to help. It was gone ten now and she had probably long since got a lift.<\/p>\n Joe edged the buckboard out of town, still furious that they could treat a young grieving girl like that but barring keeping his eyes skinned on the way home there was nothing he could do; although he would dearly have like to see her again. He headed south on the road to Virginia City.<\/p>\n Marie had taken that road hours earlier, vaguely aiming for Virginia City. A large mining town, there would be plenty of saloons and she would be able to find a job without any trouble. Once clear of town she had taken refuge in a thicket, protected from sight, where she had sat too stunned to cry for hours and then slept late. She was only just making her way back onto the road as Joe stood watching the train leave. As she reached the road Marie suddenly began to feel very vulnerable. For the last three years she had lived under the gambler\u2019s protection. Jim Harris had been good to her and she was very fond of him. He had prevented other men bothering her but now she was on her own. Marie had talked glibly of getting a lift but now she came to consider it she wasn\u2019t so optimistic. She knew that most wagons with women aboard would only going a short distance and anyway she looked what she was, a saloon girl. No respectable woman would stop for her. In the middle of nowhere she could well imagine what most men would want from her, a price she wasn\u2019t willing to pay. So she trudged along hiding when she saw a wagon coming, until she got a look at the occupants, and then staying hidden sure that they wouldn\u2019t help her or she couldn\u2019t trust them.<\/p>\n As midday approached she began to feel hungry, as well as the thirst, which had been plaguing her for the last couple of hours, but she hadn\u2019t thought to bring any food or even a canteen. Then she saw a buckboard coming and she recognised the young cowboy she had been talking to the previous day. He had seemed kind and she was tired so she decided she had to risk it and came out of the scrub and waved. Joe pulled up immediately and jumped down. He went over to her \u201cAre you alright? I heard in town what had happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine but could you give me a lift to the next town?\u201d Little Joe could see how cold and drawn she looked and his heart went out the to the poor girl. He didn\u2019t notice the tawdry clothes, just the beautiful grey eyes.<\/p>\n Joe smiled reassuringly at her \u201cI\u2019ll take you wherever you want to go but first you look as though you could do with some hot food and some coffee.\u201d Marie just looked at him and Joe pulled the buckboard of the road and set about making a fire and getting coffee on. Then he started cooking, slabs of bacon with beans, and pulled out some bread that he had bought in town before leaving. Joe passed her some coffee as he turned the bacon \u201cNot fancy but my brothers say that it\u2019s all I can cook without ruining, not that either of them are much on cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie sipped her coffee and looked up almost shyly at him \u201cYou\u2019re like the answer to a wish. I was cold, scared and starving.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hoped I\u2019d find you but I thought you\u2019d have got a lift ages ago.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie bent her head over the cup again \u201cI was scared to stop any of the wagons I saw, but I recognised you from yesterday and you seemed…\u201dshe broke off not knowing quite how to say what she meant.<\/p>\n Joe realised why she would be scared and was quick to reassure her \u201cI promise you\u2019re safe with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie managed a wan smile \u201cI believe you.\u201d Joe piled a plate with food and passed it to her before getting his own and sitting down opposite her to eat. When the food was gone and he had replenished their coffee cups, Joe risked asking if she was aiming for anywhere in particular.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head \u201cWherever you\u2019re going. Eventually I\u2019ll go to Virginia City I expect but I\u2019m in no rush.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned broadly \u201cThat\u2019s easy, it\u2019s exactly where I\u2019m heading.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up suspiciously but Joe said \u201cHonest, I\u2019m part owner of a ranch only an hour\u2019s ride from Virginia City.\u201d She was surprised at that; he was good looking but otherwise looked much like any of the other cowboys who frequented the saloons. However a closer inspection showed her that his clothes, gun and the horses were all top quality.<\/p>\n Joe went on \u201cWhy do you want to go to Virginia City, do you know anyone there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI expect there will be a few faces I know but mainly it\u2019s because there will be plenty of saloons and I’ll be able to get a job.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe didn\u2019t like the idea of her returning to saloons but he knew that he had no right to interfere and for once he kept his mouth shut not wanting to lose the little trust that he had built up. When they had finished their coffee Joe suggested that they get started, he didn\u2019t want to spend more than one night on the journey.<\/p>\n As they travelled Joe explained why he had been in town. He talked of his pig-headed eldest brother and Marie soon got the impression of a close knit family. She had heard of the Cartwrights of the Ponderosa but even though Joe had told her his name, it took her a long time to realise that he was from the Ponderosa. He didn\u2019t fit into her normal experience of rich men. She knew that he must be wealthy but she wouldn\u2019t prey on the kind hearted young man. She might be a saloon girl but she had her own code of conduct.<\/p>\n Gradually during the afternoon, Joe drew her out and she told him a little of her life. Her parents had come west hunting for gold in California when she was five and her mother had died a couple of years later. She had been dragged round the mining camps by her father for the next eight years. Then she had been orphaned at fourteen, and with no education, not even knowing how to sew a seam she had had no choice but to go into a saloon. She didn\u2019t tell Joe very much but he had seen enough round Virginia City to know what her life as a young girl and then a saloon girl must have been. Yet through it all she had somehow retained am aura of innocence and fragility which he found greatly appealing. The gambler Jim Harris had given her a veneer of class, her speech was good and she had been blessed with a low pleasant voice, but it was just a veneer. She could sign her own name but she couldn\u2019t read.<\/p>\n Eventually as it grew dark, Joe stopped in a little glen by a river that he knew. He lit a fire and Marie insisted on preparing the food. Joe prepared two sleeping trenches for them; he had the blankets that Adam and Carole had used so they were able to be comfortable. Once they had eaten Joe tucked her up and kissed her gently on the forehead \u201cSleep well Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned sleepily up at him and then exhausted she snuggled down.<\/p>\n Little Joe lay down and considered the stars but he had never felt further from sleep. He lay quietly for a while, wondering how his brother was making out on the train, and then eventually when he was sure that she was asleep, he got up and heated up some coffee.<\/p>\n Joe sat drinking his coffee and watching Marie\u2019s small, curled up, form. He was attracted to her in a way that he had never felt before. Physically she was much more petite than the girls who usually attracted him, but although small she had all the right curves in the right places and a beautiful heart shaped face. Joe found it difficult to take his eyes of her and he felt a great urge to protect her. Life hadn\u2019t exactly used her kindly so far and above all else Joe wanted to put that right, but he couldn\u2019t imagine her amongst his family. Carole had fitted in so well, but the prospect of introducing an illiterate saloon girl was daunting to say the least. Eventually Joe told himself he was being foolish, he had only known her two days and she had just lost her lover. There was time to spare before he need worry about his family, in fact he was being foolish even considering them. Joe had no illusions about the relationship between her and Harris but even so it didn\u2019t dispel the aura of innocence surrounding her, At last thoroughly confused and wondering just how such a girl could come to dominate his thoughts so quickly, he fell asleep.<\/p>\n Meanwhile on the train Adam found the motion more trying than he had anticipated. He did his best to conceal it from Carole without much success, but he was quite truthful when he said that it was much easier than the wagon. The trouble was, any attempt to read made him feel sick and there was a limited interest in the view from the window. Carole was worried, at least on the wagon they could stop; here there would be hardly any stops until they reached their destination. Adam had a firm grip on himself, but he didn\u2019t just want to sit and think, feel sorry for himself, Unable to read he wanted to talk, Carole soon realised that he was okay as long as she could keep his mind occupied. As soon as the conversation lagged she could see him begin to lose colour as nausea threatened to overtake him. Carole encouraged him to tell her about the beginnings of the Ponderosa and his memories of the journey west. At first Adam wasn\u2019t sure but Carole was genuinely interested and she made sure he saw that so he spent long hours telling her of their trip out. Some things he could remember himself and others he had heard his father speak of, When it came to the years in which the Ponderosa was founded and began to grow, his own memory was much clearer. Carole came to realise very clearly just why he was so close to his brothers. After Joe\u2019s mother died it was the twelve year old boy who took over the functions of both mother and father as Ben was lost first in grief and then in his efforts to build up his ranch. He had left his sons in the care of Hop Sing and the occasional tutor. Their bodily needs were well looked after but it was Adam who taught his young brothers and hugged them when they were hurt, put them to bed with stories and went to them if there were nightmares. She also realised for the first time that Adam was nearly entirely self-taught. Until he was fourteen Ben had been his only teacher, apart from a few brief periods in schools at different towns along their journey. Although Ben had tried to provide tutors for his sons once they were settled, the one who lasted the longest was only there for three months, before the lure of the gold field in California became too great. After he left not only did Adam teach himself but with such help as his father had time for; he had taught his younger brothers. He had finally gone east to college when he was seventeen, qualifying in architecture and engineering before returning home in 1859 for the exciting discovery that the black sludge that bedevilled the gold prospectors was in fact silver. Virginia City was founded that fall, shortly after his return. Ben had been involved from the beginning, grubstaking prospectors and as Virginia City grew, so did the insatiable demand for lumber and the Ponderosa grew out of all recognition. Finally reaching its current size of over one thousand square miles. They had remained involved with the mines, however much they fought against it, culminating with the fight with the Bank of California over the Hale and Norcross. Carole encouraged Adam to talk and she learnt a lot, about her husband and his family to say nothing of the history of Nevada, over those long days on the train. They talked until late at night when eventually Adam would fall asleep, exhausted by the nagging pain in his stomach. Only once in those days did he give in to the nausea, which continually threatened and that was after a two hour stop at St Joseph, Missouri. It had come as a blessed relief but on starting up again, Adam couldn\u2019t help himself. As Carole bathed his white face and got him lying down, she felt like exploding at her pig headed husband, who for no good reason had insisted on putting himself through this. She knew that it was too late to do anything except hope that he would be fit for the return journey. Adam had long conceded to himself that he was a fool, but he was more grateful than he would say for Carole\u2019s forbearance in not pointing it out.<\/p>\n Little Joe tried to persuade Marie to come and stay at the Ponderosa, wanting to give her time to get over Harris\u2019 death but Marie wouldn\u2019t hear of it. She didn\u2019t have any money and needed to get a job. She was already in his debt for all the kindness he\u2019d shown her and she had no claim on him. Joe had to agree but he didn\u2019t want her disappearing into one of the cheap places on \u2018D\u2019 street. He was sure that Don McBride the owner of the Bucket O\u2019Blood would do him a favour and if she had to work in a saloon, it would be hard to find a better one. Joe knew that Don protected his girls. That was one offer that Marie wasn\u2019t about to turn down, she had always hated the round of saloons looking for a job, with all the innuendo of a job at a price. A price she wasn\u2019t prepared to pay. Joe went to see Don and he was quite willing to offer her a job, He had room for another girl and would take Joe\u2019s words for her looks. Joe asked Don to keep an eye on her; she\u2019d had a rough few days and if she was in any trouble to send for him. Don asked \u201cWhat is she to you Joe\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged \u201cI only met her day before yesterday, gave her a lift here.\u201d Don wasn\u2019t convinced but knew that it was a waste of time trying to push Joe, he just hoped he wasn\u2019t buying in to trouble with Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n Joe saw her safely installed and then, promising to come to town and see her in a few days, he headed on home. He was thoroughly confused about Marie but one thing he did know he wanted to see her again.<\/p>\n Ben was very glad to see his youngest son home and wanted to know just how Adam had stood up to the journey. Little Joe spent half an hour convincing his father that Adam had been a lot better than they had expected, that he had had a good night\u2019s sleep before joining the train, and that he had ensured assistance on the journey. Eventually Ben accepted that Joe was telling him the truth and not putting on an act and Joe demanded food, he was starving. Ben immediately apologised, he\u2019d only been thinking about Adam not his youngest son, and he went out to Hop Sing to get food, Hoss came in from the barn and joined his brother in a snack although he had eaten earlier and he too wanted to know how Adam was. Then Hoss brought up a problem at the lumber camp. It wasn\u2019t very serious but by the time they had talked and argued out the best way round trouble, Joe was whacked and headed for bed.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until he was standing looking out of his window over the Sierra Nevada that he realised he hadn\u2019t even mentioned Marie to his father or brother. He hadn\u2019t intended to hide the fact that he\u2019d brought her home with him, but all either his father or brother had been interested in was Adam\u2019s condition. Naturally enough, and Joe was so uncertain about Marie he knew he had used the excuse to avoid talking about her. Subconsciously maybe, but now it would seem to make too much of it to tell them. He stood for ages staring out at the mountains, trying to sort out his feelings for this girl, who out of the blue had come to dominate his thoughts.<\/p>\n For three days Joe fought against the urge to go to town and see her, but when on Saturday Ben suggested that his sons collect the mail and have a night in town, he could no longer fight against it. There was a dance on and as Ben pointed out they hadn\u2019t taken an evening off since the wedding. Hoss laughed \u201cLittle brother did, when he took Adam to the train, weren\u2019t there any pretty girls there, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe wondered what his brother had heard and exploded \u201cMind your own business.\u201d and flung outside. Ben and Hoss thoroughly puzzled were left staring at each other. Ben finally said \u201cHave you any idea what\u2019s up with him? He\u2019s been like quicksilver ever since he got back.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged \u201cI don\u2019t know Pa. He\u2019s spent the last three days biting my head off every time I open my mouth. He\u2019s done one hell of a lot of work but he\u2019s danged hard to live with.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben could only nod \u201cI know what you mean. Maybe it\u2019s just a sort of anticlimax now everyone has gone and the excitement is over.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head \u201cI don\u2019t think so Pa, someone or something is eating at him but I can\u2019t imagine what.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed heavily \u201cOh well maybe he\u2019ll use up some of his excess energy at the dance and we\u2019ll get a bit of peace and quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe spruced up and rode into town with his brother but when they reached town he surprised Hoss \u201cI want a drink. I\u2019ll see you down at the dance later.\u201d Hoss wasn\u2019t sure what Joe was up to but from the expression on his face it was some form of devilment and he said \u201cGuess I could do with a drink now that you mention it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned on his brother again \u201cWell go and get one but leave me alone. I don\u2019t want an elder brother tagging along.\u201d With the he turned on his heel and walked across the street, leaving Hoss scratching his head and wondering what on earth was eating his little brother. Eventually deciding that Joe was old enough to take care of himself, Hoss headed on down to the dance. He reckoned that he had earned a good time whatever Joe was up to.<\/p>\n Joe headed for the Bucket O\u2019 Blood and as he went in he saw Marie standing alone by the bar. It was still early and the place was almost empty. She seemed even lovelier than the pictures of her, which kept swimming in front of him over the last few days, especially as she smiled a greeting at him. Joe went over to join her and as Don looked questioningly at him he said \u201cA beer and whatever the lady would like.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie joined him at a table and immediately began to thank him \u201cI can\u2019t thank you enough for finding me this job. Don is a dear and he protects his girls in a way I\u2019ve never had before,\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know that. That\u2019s why I brought you here but don\u2019t get too fond of Don.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked questioningly at him and Joe realised that he was getting into deep waters and hastily changed the subject. They sat chatting until the early hours, oblivious of the noise and the other people, at least on Joe\u2019s sides. Drinking enough to keep Don happy but not really needing it. Joe found her as easy to talk to as she had been on the trail, He soon found that although she was completely uneducated she wasn\u2019t stupid. She knew the west and the problems on the ranches and in the mines just as well as he did.<\/p>\n Little Joe asked her what she did during the day and learnt that she was on duty from five in the evening until the early hours plus two afternoons, but she was off until five the next day.<\/p>\n Joe persuaded her to go for a ride with him the following day and, when she agreed, he took Cochise down to the livery stable and booked in at a hotel for the night. Lost in his thoughts of Marie, Joe didn\u2019t even consider whether his father or brother would be concerned at his non-return. Joe had a one-track mind at that moment and that was on the slip of the girl sitting opposite him drinking cold tea. He had often thought of himself as in love in his life but none of them had ever affected him like this scrap of a girl. Joe didn\u2019t know if this was love, he just knew he couldn\u2019t get her out of his mind and he had a great urge to protect her. As the saloon closed up soon after two, Joe walked Marie home and arranged to pick her up at ten.<\/p>\n Hoss had been puzzled when Joe didn\u2019t put in an appearance at the dance. It wasn\u2019t like his little brother to miss one without a good reason. He wasn\u2019t that fond of gambling or drinking unless he had his friends with him and, as far as Hoss could see, they were all at the dance, both male and female. As the evening wore on Hoss felt definitely uneasy and when the dance broke up at 11.30 p.m. he wandered out to look for his brother. Cochise was gone and not knowing that Joe had taken him down to the livery stable, Hoss assumed that his brother must have ridden home. When he reached the house and there was no sign of Cochise in the barn, or Joe in the house, Hoss sat down really worried. Ben had gone to bed, but eventually Hoss decided that he needed to get his father\u2019s advice. He needed to talk it over and decide whether he should go looking for his brother, so he went in to wake Ben.<\/p>\n Ben was surprised when Hoss shook him awake and demanded to know what was wrong. Hoss sat down heavily on the chair by the bed \u201cProbably nothing Pa but I ain\u2019t real sure. I had to know what you think.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pulled himself up and pulled his dressing gown round his shoulders \u201cAlright Hoss explain.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss told him what he knew, finishing up with an exasperated sigh, \u201cI know it don\u2019t amount to much Pa. He\u2019s probably fine and if\u2019n I poke my nose in I\u2019ll get it bitten off again, but jest maybe he\u2019s in trouble. Do you think I ought to ride back to town and look for him?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thought about what his big son had said and about the way Joe had been behaving and then looked up seeing the deep concern in Hoss\u2019 blue eyes \u201cIf anything had happened in town Roy would get word to us. The way he\u2019s been behaving the last few days its odds on that he\u2019s off on some ploy of his own. I think we leave it for now. Then if he\u2019s not back by morning you can go in and make a few enquiries.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay Pa. I\u2019m sorry I disturbed you, I jest couldn\u2019t make up my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo matter Hoss, get to bed now I\u2019ll see you in the morning. Ben settled down again as his big son headed for his own bed, but Ben found sleep elusive. For the umpteenth time over the last few days he found himself trying to work out what Joe was up to, unsuccessfully.<\/p>\n The following morning, as Joe hadn\u2019t reappeared, Hoss headed into town. Hoss went to see Roy first to start his enquiries. Roy said that he had seen Joe in the Bucket O\u2019Blood the previous evening but he hadn\u2019t been in any trouble. Hoss wandered over to the saloon to have a word with Don McBride. There for the first time he heard how Joe had brought in a saloon girl the week before, begged a job for her, and that he had spent the whole of the previous evening with her. He was surprised that Hoss didn\u2019t know, but Hoss pretended not to have seen Joe except in passing as he had been working up at the limber camp. McBride said, \u201cHe\u2019s out with her today as far as I know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s she like?\u201d<\/p>\n McBride shrugged \u201c Nice enough kid. Very petite, blonde, pretty. Although I wouldn\u2019t have thought she was Joe\u2019s type. Illiterate but not stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss got himself a beer and changed the subject, not wanting to make it too obvious that he was checking up on his little brother. After a while he headed on home to let his father know that Joe was okay. Hoss was cross with his brother, there had been no need to worry them, if he was intending seeing a girl all he had to do was to say so.<\/p>\n When Hoss told his father what he had found out Ben was furious. He disliked finding things out third hand and he hated the idea of Joe being deliberately underhand with him. It wasn\u2019t like Joe as Hoss pointed out. Usually even when he had done something wrong, he would brazen it out with a fair amount of braggadocio, and eventually talk his way out of trouble. He sometimes stepped out of line, but none of his family had ever learnt how to stay cross with him for any length of time.<\/p>\n Meanwhile Joe had taken Marie up to Lake Tahoe and they had spent a quiet day up by the Lake. He was falling ever deeper under her spell, which was somehow enhanced by her determination not to trap this kind young man. In the days she had been in Virginia City she had heard a lot about the Cartwrights, especially about the wedding between his erudite eldest brother and the schoolteacher, She knew that she couldn\u2019t fit in with that sort of family. It would be so easy to fall in love with Joe, but she wouldn\u2019t come between him and his family, they obviously meant too much to him. She had tried to avoid being alone with him but Joe could charm what he wanted from most people and she was by no means immune. She had accepted the invitation to ride out with him almost against her will, but she had had a wonderful day and consoled herself that she deserved a few happy memories and next time she would refuse.<\/p>\n Little Joe got her back to the saloon in time for her shift and then rode home in a pleasant dream, after an idyllic day. He hadn\u2019t given his family a single thought until as he went in to the house and took his gun-belt off, his father said, \u201cWhere the hell have you been young man?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up badly shaken by his father swearing and that was compounded by the expression on Ben\u2019s face. He suddenly realised what he had done and moved forward. “I\u2019m sorry Pa. I should have told you. I stayed in town overnight. I didn\u2019t think, I didn\u2019t mean to worry you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glared at him \u201cThere seems to be a lot you haven\u2019t told me, like this saloon girl you got a job for.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2019s temper flared as he realised that someone had been checking up on him, the knowledge that he was in the wrong and should have told his family didn\u2019t help and he erupted \u201cIts none of your business. I\u2019m of age and I\u2019ll thank you not to check up on me.\u201d<\/p>\n With that he ran upstairs to his room and slammed the door.<\/p>\n Ben was about to follow, he wasn\u2019t going to be spoken to like that by any of his sons, but Hoss put out a restraining hand.<\/p>\n Ben looked down at Hoss who said, \u201cYou weren\u2019t exactly tactful Pa, slamming into him as soon as he came in. He did apologise for not telling us he was staying over.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked down ruefully at Hoss and then calming down a little he sat down \u201cI was furious with him Hoss. I don\u2019t like to think of any of you deliberately deceiving me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t know that he did Pa, but if you go up now all you two will do is have a first rate row. Leave it for a bit and give him a chance to explain.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben managed a grin \u201cYou taking over Adam\u2019s job as the peacemaker of the family now he\u2019s married?\u201d Hoss just grinned at his father.<\/p>\n Upstairs Joe was inwardly seething. The one thing that was guaranteed to get him into a fury was to find his family checking up on him. H e had fought it for too long, as the youngest of the family envying the independence of his older brothers. Now he felt it was unfair of his father to go for him without giving him a chance to explain and the uncertainty of his feelings for Marie didn\u2019t help. He just didn\u2019t want to discuss her with his family, He knew he would end up somehow apologising for the illiterate saloon girl and he didn\u2019t know how to explain to them that it didn\u2019t feel like that when he was with her.<\/p>\n An hour later he was driven downstairs by hunger, they\u2019d only had a snack lunch. Hoss saw him come down and knew by the set of his brother\u2019s jaw that he was in no better mood. Hoss tried to avert the inevitable explosion, wishing that Adam was there to help him. He succeeded in persuading them both to leave discussion until after food hoping it would mellow them.<\/p>\n As they moved back to the fire with coffee, Joe began kicking at the logs. Ben said \u201cStop that Joseph, you\u2019re not a child now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned \u201cThen why do you insist on treating me like one. I\u2019m entitled to my own private life. You never cross question Adam like you do me.”<\/p>\n Ben glared at him \u201cAdam never deliberately deceived me or left me to find out from outsiders that he was supplying saloons with girls.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe erupted \u201cI didn\u2019t deliberately deceive you. When I got home the only thing you were interested in was Adam. You never gave me a chance to tell you anything. I sometimes think that the only son you care about is Adam. He\u2019s the clever one, the oldest. He married to suit you. Everything is always Adam. I\u2019m surprised you even noticed I wasn\u2019t here over night.\u201d Joe stood looking down at his father who had sunk white faced into a chair. Joe was aghast at what he had said. He\u2019d just been lashing out, trying to hurt, trying to avoid talking about Marie. He felt as though he was standing outside himself, watching and he didn\u2019t like what he was seeing but he didn\u2019t seem to be able to stop it. He bit his lip hard and turned away and ran back upstairs to his room, before he made things even worse, if that was still possible.<\/p>\n Ben was completely taken aback by what Joe had said. He admitted the truth of Joe\u2019s first statement, when Joe did return all he had wanted to know was how Adam had stood up to the journey. After all his eldest son had been very ill. But for the rest he had no favourites amongst his sons, maybe Adam worked closer with him in running the ranch. Certainly he was very proud of his clever eldest son but he was equally proud of Hoss gentle strength and Joe\u2019s skill with horses to say nothing of his charm and good looks. There had never been any jealousy between his sons as far as he knew and he was very worried how deep were the feelings in Joe, which had just erupted into words.<\/p>\n Hoss went over and gripped his father\u2019s shoulder \u201cDon\u2019t take no notice of him Pa he don\u2019t mean it, just in a bad temper.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked up at his big son \u201cAre you sure Hoss. Sometimes the truth emerges in anger, I know I have been worried about Adam recently what with that wound and his back and his marriage, but you all three mean as much to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss smiled at his father \u201cI know that Pa and I\u2019m sure Joe does too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben wasn\u2019t convinced and a few minutes later he went out and saddled up Buck and headed up to the Lake. He stood there having cleared his wife\u2019s grave of a fallen branch He could see Joe\u2019s angry face in front of him, and he heard again his youngest son\u2019s angry tirade. He sat for hours up by the Lake wondering how much of it Joe had meant and how deep it went. He wished that Adam was at home, maybe he could have talked to his youngest brother. He asked Marie to help him and their son but for now he was too upset for even her face to be clear in his mind and eventually he headed home to bed, still sorely worried.<\/p>\n Little Joe stayed in his room. Hoss had come up to try and talk to him but Joe had told him to get out and Hoss had withdrawn hoping Joe would calm down given time. Joe couldn\u2019t understand himself. He knew all three of them counted equally with his father, it was just a fact that none of them had ever doubted, throughout his life he had known it was true. Equally Joe knew that if his father had gone with Adam and he had been left at home, his first thought would have been exactly the same concern about Adam. Joe knew he ought to go and apologise to his father and eventually he headed downstairs to look for him haunted by his father\u2019s white face. Hoss was in his room but Hop Sing told Joe that his father had gone out for a ride. Joe could guess where his father had gone. He had been there that day with Marie and he couldn\u2019t face seeing his father there, so he retreated to bed.<\/p>\n The following morning Hoss had an early breakfast and headed up to the lumber camp before the others were down, hoping that left alone they would sort out their argument and come down to normal.<\/p>\n Ben had just poured himself coffee when little Joe, looking very sheepish, joined him. Joe immediately said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said last night Pa. I don\u2019t know what got into me. I was just furious that you\u2019d been checking up on me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat back \u201cWhat do you expect Joseph. You are out all night without any word; we\u2019ve had enough trouble this summer to get into the habit of expecting the worst. Hoss woke me up when he got home. You hadn\u2019t appeared at the dance you supposedly went to town for and Cochise was gone from where you had left him. He had expected to find you here and he wanted to know whether he ought to go back to town to look for you. We compromised as we both thought you capable of looking after yourselves. Decided to leave it until morning.\u201d Ben waited to see if his son was going to say anything but Joe just sipped his coffee and looked at his father.<\/p>\n Ben went on \u201cYou had been so moody since you got home, I thought you might have taken a ride up to the Lake. When you still weren\u2019t home. Hoss rode into town to check in case you were in trouble. He had a word with Roy who\u2019d seen you in the Bucket O\u2019Blood and then Don McBride told him about this girl, assuming that Hoss already knew. Hoss said that he made out he hadn\u2019t seen you for a few days and having learnt you were out with her, he came home to let me know you were okay.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe couldn\u2019t meet his father\u2019s gaze staring into his cup he said \u201cI\u2019m sorry I should have told Hoss when I took Cochise down to the livery stable. But the dance was going on and I didn\u2019t want to waste time with other people. I knew if I went in it would be hard to get away. I really hadn\u2019t intended to stay in town when I rode in. I didn\u2019t mean to worry you Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned \u201cWhat really worries me Joe is what you said last night. I know I\u2019ve been concerned with Adam this summer but \u2013\u201c<\/p>\n Joe interrupted \u201cI didn\u2019t mean what I said Pa. I was just lashing out trying to hurt and I didn\u2019t like myself for it. I know we all three mean as much to you and I could have bitten my tongue off for speaking like that.\u201d He looked up and met his father\u2019s eye for the first time \u201cI did come looking for you later but you\u2019d gone out.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben studied his son for a moment and then got up and walked round the table and gripped Joe\u2019s shoulder \u201cAlright Joseph we\u2019ll forget anything was said.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe lent back against his father twisting round and looking up \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to deceive you Pa, there just never seemed a moment to tell you. Marie was in a bit of trouble through no fault of her own and she was stranded. I gave her a lift to Virginia City and she seemed nice, so I asked Don to give her a job. I didn\u2019t think she deserved to end up in the saloons down on \u2018D\u2019 street. That was all there was to it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben, sensing that Joe didn\u2019t want to discuss it, changed the subject to ranch business much to his son\u2019s relief. Ben had to go to Sacramento on business and was leaving the following day, so he had a number of jobs to pass over to Joe to deal with in his absence.<\/p>\n Over the next week Joe went into town every night. Often he couldn\u2019t get away from the house or wherever he was working until eight or nine at night, but he couldn\u2019t resist the chance to spend an hour or so with Marie. Marie remonstrated with him; he wasn\u2019t getting enough sleep often only three or four hours a night and he would make himself ill. Hoss tried once to talk some sense into Joe, but Joe\u2019s temper was still precarious. He exploded at his brother and told him to do his own job and mind his own business. Then Joe rode off leaving Hoss to wish either Adam or his father were there, he couldn\u2019t control his younger brother.<\/p>\n By the end of the week Joe was sure, no matter how unsuitable it might be judged, he was in love with Marie and he wanted her for his wife. He remembered telling Adam that he thoroughly approved of Carole and his brother\u2019s answer that he was glad but that he wouldn\u2019t have given a damn if Joe hadn\u2019t. That was how Joe felt, he wanted Marie and he didn\u2019t give a damn that his family would disapprove. He even decided that he\u2019d rather break away from them, leave the Ponderosa, if that was what was needed to have Marie. Having made up his mind his temper settled down and by the Ben came home he was back in his normal sunny mood.<\/p>\n On the way home Ben had collected a telegram from Carole to say that they had arrived in New York and were staying with Edwin Booth. Carole had promised to tell him the truth and she said that although they were very glad to have arrived, Adam had withstood the journey very well. His mind at ease over his eldest son, Ben had time to spare to wonder what Joe was up to. Dan had told him Joe had been in town every night over the last week. Ben was determined to see this girl who seemed to have her claws in his son. He was not keen on his son marrying a saloon girl, although he tried not to judge them too harshly, knowing that for a girl on her own there was often no choice. She wasn\u2019t on duty when he was in town, so he planned to go back one evening and have a look, but he wanted to do it without making it too obvious to Joe or he would be unbearable to live with.<\/p>\n On arrival in New York Adam managed to get a porter to carry their things and then, much to his relief, he saw Jim Forrester coming towards them. Jim was Edwin Booth\u2019s manager and close friend and both of them were old friends of Adam\u2019s. Jim hurried over \u201cGood to see you Adam. Edwin had a matinee today, he\u2019ll see you for dinner.\u201d Adam nodded grateful to see his friend, he was very tired and had tensed up, scared noone would be meeting them, not really feeling up to coping with the hustle and bustle of New York. It was all very well in Virginia City a place he knew like the back of his hand, but he\u2019d only been to New York twice and the last time when he had spent four days there awaiting his ship, the circumstances hadn\u2019t been such that he enjoyed himself. Now the tension made the pain in his back and gut return and he felt weak and ill. Jim frowned as he considered his old friend \u201cYou look all in Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay just tired.\u201d And then he introduced Carole to Jim and vice versa. Jim decided that he needed to get Adam home, so he helped Adam into the cab he had waiting and then Carole, before getting the luggage aboard. As the cab started on its jolting way across the cobbles Adam lost what little colour he had. Jim looked anxiously at his friend \u201cIts not far, Adam just five blocks.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam managed a grin \u201cI\u2019ll be okay don\u2019t fuss. What hotel are we going to? I need to let my family know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not, you\u2019re staying with Edwin. There\u2019s plenty of room and its central. His people will make you more comfortable than any hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole looked at Adam questioningly, she knew Adam had been at college with Edwin Booth but she didn\u2019t know how close the men had kept and this seemed an imposition on the famous actor. Adam just smiled \u201cI should have guessed when I asked Edwin to book us in.\u201d<\/p>\n Jim nodded \u201cYes you should. Mind you I don\u2019t know if you knew that Edwin had bought this house. Anyway we have stayed at the Ponderosa often enough, its time we repaid some of your hospitality,\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was too busy fighting the threatening nausea to answer and, it was with heartfelt relief, that he realised the cab had stopped outside an imposing house. Jim helped him into the sitting room and then went and poured him a brandy. Adam sipped it gratefully and then lay back in the chair and closed his eyes to give himself time to recover. Jim patted his shoulder \u201cTake it easy for a bit Adam, your wife and I will get your things upstairs to your rooms.\u201d Adam nodded and relaxed.<\/p>\n Carole kissed his forehead and then followed Jim out into the hall and started to try and explain, but Jim cut her short. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. We know all about his injury and that he wasn\u2019t fit to travel, Little Joe sent us a long telegram explaining. In fact after that I half expected to have to pick him up on a stretcher.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole said \u201cYou\u2019re very kind. He\u2019ll be alright after a good night\u2019s sleep. It was just all the travelling.\u201d<\/p>\n Jim grinned down at her seeing her embarrassment at being a nuisance. For now he left the luggage piled in the hall and took her into the dining room and poured them both coffee. \u201cSeems to me Adam has been doing his usual, hiding just how much he helps people. I reckon you ought to know. We owe your husband more than we can ever repay. He took us in and protected Edwin from the outside world when most people wouldn\u2019t have anything to do with him, after his stupid brother assassinated Lincoln.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole didn\u2019t know what to say. She had known, as had the whole country, that John Wilkes Booth was brother to the famous actor and she had heard that Edwin had disappeared from the public eye for eighteen months. Rumour had it that he was drowning his sorrows in drink. She hadn\u2019t known and Adam had never mentioned his part in those months. Now Jim filled her in. After six months of solid drinking ostracised by the world, Jim had, in desperation, applied to Edwin\u2019s old college friend. They had stayed at the Ponderosa on several occasions after seasons in San Francisco and he had hoped that perhaps the peace there would help. Adam hadn\u2019t sent an answer but three days later he had arrived himself, scared that his friend, blamed by so many for his brother\u2019s deeds, would refuse to involve anyone else. Edwin had been in a drunken stupor and Adam had loaded him and his possessions on a wagon. He had been half way home before Edwin awoke. Edwin had protested vehemently that he wasn\u2019t going to involve his friends, he had seen rotten fruit hurled at Forrester simply because he was with Edwin and Edwin\u2019s name was Booth. One day it would be something more substantial and he wasn\u2019t taking the risks of his friends being hurt. Adam had ignored him they were already on the Ponderosa. He did agree that Booth\u2019s name need never be heard, as far as the hands were concerned he had two friends staying and if he didn\u2019t want to Edwin needn\u2019t leave the ranch. Edwin desperately needing a place to hide away had allowed himself to be persuaded and had gone to the ranch. For weeks Adam made regular trips to buy whisky and brandy for his friend and spent long hours drinking with him, until Ben had got quite concerned at the amount Adam was drinking, although Adam was only drinking one to every five of Edwin\u2019s. Gradually over the weeks the peace and calm of the Ponderosa and his friend\u2019s presence had its inevitable effect and Edwin\u2019s drinking began to tail off and eventually ceased. In another couple of months Edwin was able to face the world again and even eight months later take up his career. Jim had never known just how Adam had effected the change and Adam had always claimed it was merely the effect of time. Edwin himself always insisted that it was Adam\u2019s presence in those long dark drunken hours that had kept him sane and given time a chance to perform its magic. Jim realised that Carole knew nothing of those times and he told her briefly what had happened and why she need never feel self conscious in asking Edwin for anything.<\/p>\n Then they got the luggage upstairs and Carole unpacked. Only then did Carole return downstairs to find her husband. Adam looked very much better for the chance to rest somewhere that didn\u2019t move. Jim had followed Carole in \u201cEdwin won\u2019t be home for about an hour and a half, so dinner will be at six-thirty. He has another show this evening starting at eight. We have two bathrooms here, so may I suggest you both go and have along soak.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole and Adam looked at each other delightedly and Adam grinned \u201cThat\u2019s the best idea I\u2019ve heard yet.\u201d Jim nodded and went out to arrange for the baths.<\/p>\n Carole went over to her husband \u201cJim is very nice and very kind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was sure you\u2019d like him and you\u2019ll like Edwin too.”<\/p>\n \u201cJim was telling me how Edwin stayed at the Ponderosa after Lincoln\u2019s assassination.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took her in his arms \u201cI suppose I should have told you, but really we just provided a quiet place out of the public eye, so that he could come to terms with himself.\u201d Before Carole could say anything Jim reappeared to say that their baths were ready.<\/p>\n By the time Edwin got home from the theatre they were both dressed and downstairs. Adam still looked white and drawn and after the initial greeting Edwin told his friend he was a fool to have come so far, saying that they had had a telegram from Little Joe. Adam punched his friend gently \u201cI can still handle you. I didn\u2019t escape a family\u2019s fussing just to have you taking over. I\u2019ll be fine tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Edwin shrugged his shoulders \u201cYou always were pigheaded.\u201d Then he went over to Carole \u201cYou have your hands full, if you\u2019re going to control him.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled \u201cEven his father gave up trying that years ago. I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll attempt it.\u201d<\/p>\n Edwin had to get back so they moved into dinner. Adam was only picking at his food but they didn\u2019t nag him, the damage was already done. Edwin wanted to know what they planned to do in New York and offered the services of his carriage, the driver knew New York better than anyone. He could show them all that was worth seeing and he knew the best places to shop, not always the fanciest on the outside but with reliable and reasonable goods. That was one offer Adam wasn\u2019t about to refuse, he didn\u2019t know New York very well, and one thing they had done on the train was draw up an impressive shopping list of things for their house. Most of it would have to be shipped from the east. The thought of arranging it terrified Carole but Adam had been used all his life to ordering things from the East and arranging shipping to Frisco and then transport across the Sierras. Now with a railroad to bring goods to a point close enough for their own wagons to take over, it seemed like child\u2019s play to him.<\/p>\n Edwin insisted that they came to the theatre the following evening, he was playing Hamlet and Carole was delighted at the prospect. Adam sighed heavily looking at his old friend \u201cIt would be Hamlet. Did you arrange it deliberately?\u201d<\/p>\n Edwin just shrugged \u201cIts time you saw it and maybe you\u2019ll change your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed \u201cI doubt it.\u201d<\/p>\n Puzzled Carole looked from one to the other but it was Jim who explained. \u201cAdam never approved of the way Edwin reads Hamlet, they will argue over it for hours given half a chance,\u201d<\/p>\n Carole looked at her husband as though he had committed l\u00e8se majest\u00e9 \u201cBut Edwin is a great actor, everyone says so, what do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n The three men all burst out laughing \u201cThat puts you in your place Adam.\u201d Edwin said.<\/p>\n Adam grinned broadly \u201cI\u2019ll explain our differences when we\u2019ve seen the play, but constructive criticism never hurt anyone\u201d<\/p>\n Edwin snorted \u201cConstructive!\u201d<\/p>\n The next day after a long sleep Adam felt better than he had since the injury and he was in a good mood as they trailed round the sights of New York. In the end it was Carole who called a halt and demanded food. She was worn out even if he wasn\u2019t. Carole wasn\u2019t convinced that he wasn\u2019t just putting on an act until she saw the amount of food he put away, making up for this lack of hunger the previous day. With the prospect of a late night at the theatre she insisted on a quiet afternoon and as Edwin was at home she sat back and listened as the two friends chatted, catching up on news as Adam hadn\u2019t seen his friend since he was in Boston the year before. Adam had found the time that afternoon to buy a beautiful white gown for Carole to wear that evening as Edwin had warned him the theatre would be full of fashionable people, it was a gala evening. He had the new suit he\u2019d had for his wedding and that was in the height of fashion, but Carole had nothing suitable. When they went up to dress for dinner she was astounded to find the new dress on her bed. She looked up questioningly at Adam and he explained and said, \u201cI think I know your size quite well I just hope it fits.\u201d It was perfect but it was lower cut at the front than anything she had worn before and she looked over at Adam. He smiled \u201cYou look lovely.\u201d and he fastened the diamond and sapphire necklace that he had bought her round her neck. He left her to do her hair and went and changed into his suit with a new lacy fronted white shirt he made a fitting escort. As they went down both Edwin and Jim came over and complimented her on her beauty. Adam grinned \u201cMy taste always was excellent.\u201d And he got a punch from Edwin for his conceit.<\/p>\n When they reached the theatre Edwin said \u201cIts a good thing you don\u2019t look like country yokels, you have the Presidential box.\u201d Carole looked worriedly at Adam but Edwin said \u201cDon\u2019t worry, nothing is too good for my friends and you will grace it better than anyone I can think of from among New York\u2019s so called polite society.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wasn\u2019t altogether surprised and said, \u201cWe should have a good view of the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole sighed, \u201cWhat worries me is that everyone will have a good view of us.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned widely \u201cWell at least they will have something beautiful to look at.\u201d Carole realised that she wasn\u2019t getting any sympathy for her worries and as she knew she had never looked better she was able to go into the box with a fair degree of composure.<\/p>\n It was well known among the polite society that Mrs Van der Bilt, the acknowledged head of that society through her husband\u2019s millions, had been refused the Presidential box on this gala evening on the grounds that it was already taken. She had had to accept the second box on the opposite side of the stage. Noone knew who had taken it certainly noone in New York Society would dare. Thus the attention of the whole theatre was centred on seeing who occupied it. As Edwin showed Adam and Carole to their seats, a great buzz of talk arose as the famous actor showed two strangers to their seat. As Edwin withdrew Carole became aware the opera glasses galore were all focused on them and she turned to Adam \u201cEveryone is looking at us.\u201d<\/p>\n Unconcerned Adam said \u201cA just tribute to your beauty my love. Anyway don\u2019t worry the houselights are going down.\u201d<\/p>\n To her relief Carole saw he was right and she gave her attention to the play. She had only visited the theatre a few times in her life and had never seen Hamlet and she was soon enthralled.<\/p>\n By the time Edwin appeared at the beginning of the second scene, Carole had completely forgotten where she was. However a number of people in the theatre were more interested in this strange couple than in Shakespeare. They attended the theatre more to be seen than for the play. The rumour going round was that they were some sort of English nobility. Mrs Van der Bilt was not content with rumour and had Forrester brought to her at the first interval. She demanded to know exactly who they were and Forrester didn\u2019t dare antagonise her. She was too influential in New York. He explained that Mr and Mrs Cartwright were very good friends of Edwin Booth\u2019s and came from Nevada. She looked across at them with her glasses and said. \u201cI wish to meet them. Arrange it for the next interval.\u201d She looked as though she didn\u2019t believe a word he had said and Jim felt he had to agree. Mrs Van der Bilt had fixed ideas about wild westerners and couldn\u2019t believe the cultured looking man and woman came from there. Jim went over to Adam and asked him to see her, explaining his problem. Adam agreed to be polite.<\/p>\n At the end of the second act, she came over to the Presidential box and Jim introduced her to Adam and Carole. Carole had heard of her in Boston, her opinions were very far reaching. Between that and with her mind still in Denmark, Carole wasn\u2019t much help to her husband. Adam had had plenty of experience in England of similar attitudes and didn\u2019t have much trouble carrying the conversation She looked down her long nose at him \u201c I believe you come from Nevada?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded \u201cI\u2019m part owner of a ranch near Virginia City.\u201d She looked him up and down through her lorgnettes \u201cYou don\u2019t look the part.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam would dearly have liked to ask her when she was last in Nevada but he had promised to be polite. He began a discussion of the play as innocuous and mentioned he\u2019d seen it in London. She began to ask about London and, as he\u2019d been presented at Court, decided he was acceptable to New York society and invited him to a soiree at her house in two days time. Adam forced a polite smile, he\u2019d have loved to refuse but he couldn\u2019t do that to Jim and Edwin and anyway maybe Carole would enjoy it, so he accepted with appropriate thanks. Then as the play was about to restart she went back to her own box. She spent the next interval catechising Forrester on what he knew about the Cartwrights and, on hearing that he came from the Ponderosa, she remembered hearing of the ranch. That put her seal of approval on these strangers although she still objected to them being given the Presidential box. She excused it on the grounds of Edwin Booth being a long-term friend but made it clear to Forrester that she did not expect it to happen again.<\/p>\n The word soon passed round the theatre and the crowd was even more intrigued. All of them had heard of Virginia City and many of the Ponderosa and this pair didn\u2019t fit with their preconceptions.<\/p>\n At length the play ended and Adam and Carole went backstage to join Edwin in his dressing room. Carole was still completely under the spell of the play much to Edwin\u2019s delight \u201cI don\u2019t have to ask you if you enjoyed it.\u201d He said and then turned to Adam and looked questioningly at his old friend.<\/p>\n Adam grinned \u201cI enjoyed it Edwin. I think overall it was more effective than the version I saw in London but I still think it would be more effective if you underplayed it rather than ranting so much.\u201d Edwin laughed \u201cLeave it until we\u2019ve got some food then you can argue all night if you want to.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned \u201cOkay by me.\u201d<\/p>\n When they got home Carole began to understand what Jim had meant as Adam and Edwin began arguing about the play. Adam knew it almost as well as Edwin and could recite large chunks of it, especially having just seen it, and he did so to try and prove his case for underplaying the lines. Carole had thoroughly enjoyed the play and at first she was worried that her husband\u2019s criticism would upset Edwin, but she soon realised that the two men were enjoying their argument. As Adam made his point she began to find herself agreeing with him it would be effective. Edwin proclaimed that Adam was behind the times but Adam insisted that he was ahead of them. They argued for hours until eventually at nearly four am Edwin called a truce, He laughed at Adam. “You\u2019re supposed to be ill and yet you look as fresh as ever and I\u2019m whacked,\u201d<\/p>\n Carole was delighted Edwin was right Adam looked fit and well and very happy. As they went to bed Adam said \u201cI told you I\u2019d be fine once we got to New York, now aren\u2019t you glad we came?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole thinking of the long miserable journey stared at him and shook her head \u201cYou are an obstinate fool but now we are here I am thoroughly enjoying it.\u201d<\/p>\n Over the next two weeks they filled every day with shopping and sightseeing and spent the evening at the theatre, concerts or parties. Once they had attended Mrs Van der Bilt\u2019s soiree, which Adam found he actually enjoyed, as for once the music was provided by professional opera singers not amateur \u2018talent\u2019; the invitations flooded in. They were enjoying themselves so much that when Adam suggested they stay an extra week in New York and only spend a week on Boston, Carole was delighted. Adam telegraphed their change of plan home, just in case someone wanted to contact him and then they made plans for their third week.<\/p>\n Back home Little Joe was his usual sunny self, much to his father and brother\u2019s relief. Since he had made his decision to make Marie his wife, he had cut down on his visits to town, only going in three times a week. He still wasn\u2019t discussing her at home but he didn\u2019t hide the fact that he was seeing her. Neither did Ben hide the fact that he disapproved. Despite Joe\u2019s good temper Hoss could sense the tension between his father and brother which kept threatening to erupt into a row. The fight with Addison had left a multitude of problems in its wake and even with the flume repaired for them so that they wouldn\u2019t make the loss, which at one stage seemed inevitable, Ben had his work cut out. There were all sorts of details to sort out, not helped by Adam\u2019s absence so that the work he usually did all fell to Ben. Thus his temper, not the most equable at the best of times, was distinctly erratic.<\/p>\n Little Joe had made it obvious to Marie exactly what he wanted and she had done her best to dissuade him. A girl from a saloon was not the right companion for a wealthy ranch owner. Unfortunately the very fact that she worked in a saloon made it impossible for her to forbid Joe to come near her. Despite her good resolutions when he wasn\u2019t there she couldn\u2019t act cold when he with her. She fought against falling in love with him, sure it would only lead to heartbreak for her but it was a losing battle and Joe sensed it. He was falling ever deeper under her spell and now he could even face introducing her to his family. He knew it would cause ructions with his father at first but he was sure that when they got to know her they would come to love her just as he had. He said as much to Marie but she had heard too much about Adam and asked how he was going to feel with an illiterate saloon girl as a sister-in-law. Him who had been presented at the court of Queen Victoria, friend of Lords and such like.<\/p>\n Joe said \u201cMy brother will like you as long as you make me happy. Don\u2019t judge Adam by what you hear. I admit he sounds terrifying but don\u2019t forget he\u2019s also my brother and noone could describe me or Hoss as geniuses, yet we never have any trouble getting along with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head \u201cI can\u2019t make you happy Joe. All I will do is drive a wedge between you and your family. Maybe with some men it wouldn\u2019t matter but it would matter to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe insisted \u201cThey will accept it and come to love you. They can\u2019t do anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie erupted, \u201cYou\u2019re living in a fool\u2019s paradise Joe. I can\u2019t change what I am and what I am has no part on the Ponderosa. Why don\u2019t you accept it and leave me alone before we both get hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe took her in his arms, it was a Sunday afternoon and they were up by the Lake. \u201cIts much too late for that Marie. I think it was too late the first moment I saw you.\u201d He held her tight and kissed her passionately. For the next hour they were oblivious of everything except each other and as they lay back in each other’s arms, Joe asked again “Will you marry me Marie?\u201d<\/p>\n She looked questioningly at him \u201cBecause of this? I wanted it as much as you did. I\u2019m no virgin I lived with Jim Harris for three years.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe laughed down at her \u201cI know that and it\u2019s irrelevant. I\u2019ve made love to girls before and I\u2019ve never felt it necessary to marry them. I\u2019m asking you because I love you and I want you for my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie pulled away and sat up \u201cI\u2019m not sure Joe, maybe, but it depends on what your family say. Please you\u2019ve got to give me time to think.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe pulled her to him and held her tight \u201cTake all the time you need but I\u2019ll warn you now I won\u2019t take no for an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n For a further week Joe patiently wooed her but she still insisted his family would never agree and she wasn’t coming between him and them.<\/p>\n Ben knew how often Joe was seeing her, but he was still hoping that it would burn out as so many of Joe\u2019s affairs had in the past. He spent long hours when he should have been working thinking about his youngest son. It wasn\u2019t the match he wanted for his son. Ben even thought of buying the girl off and getting her to go somewhere else but he knew it would ruin his relationship with his son if Joe ever found out and that was far too precious to risk. In his heart Ben knew that the relationship would be ruined even if he succeeded and Joe didn\u2019t hear. There would always be the fear that one day Joe would find out. In some ways it would be a basic failure of trust, his son was a grown man and however hard it was to accept Ben could only try to dissuade him. Ben finally made up his mind to have a quiet talk with Joe about it, at least it would get it out in the open and relieve the tensions between him and his son of which he was only too aware. Hoss was due to take a herd of horses over to the army post in two days time and Ben determined to talk to Joe that night, knowing that they wouldn\u2019t be interrupted.<\/p>\n Little Joe for the same reason had hit on that evening to tell his father that he was getting married as soon as Adam returned home, with or without his father\u2019s blessing. He knew that Ben would try and dissuade him, but Joe was sure he could make his father see Marie through his eyes and come to realise that this was right for his son.<\/p>\n Hoss wasn\u2019t too happy about leaving; he would be gone for just over a week and he guessed that there would be an explosion without anyone to keep the peace. Still contracts had to be met and maybe it would be better if his father and younger brother had their row and cleared the air. Hoss tried to tell Little Joe to go easy but Joe just walked off and Hoss decided he’d done his best and they would just have to get on with it. Hoss headed out early the following morning and Ben rode with him for a short time, checking over the horses to make sure they would all keep up the reputation the Ponderosa had been establishing for first rate animals. Then Ben had to cut up to the mines. Hoss pulled up to take his leave of his father and let the rest get out of earshot. Ben could guess why and he wasn\u2019t surprised when Hoss said, \u201cDon\u2019t be too hard on Joe, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled at his soft-hearted big son, always looking out for his little brother even when Joe treated him badly. \u201cHoss I just don\u2019t want him ruining his life.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe she\u2019s a nice girl. I haven\u2019t even seen her,\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe but maybe she just wants all the nice things that a Cartwright can buy her. All I want is for him to take time to find out, is that so unreasonable?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head \u201cNo Pa, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s quite the impression you\u2019ve given Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gripped his arm \u201cDon\u2019t worry Hoss we\u2019ll talk it out like we always have. You have a good trip and we\u2019ll see you in a week\u2019s time.\u201d Hoss nodded and rode off, still troubled but hoping that they would indeed talk it out.<\/p>\n Ben rode on up to the mines and sorted out the men\u2019s bonuses and began to make the arrangements for the next load of ore to go to the stamp mills. It was late afternoon when Ben had completed his business and he headed home but the direct route was along Rock Canyon. Ben was thinking about his youngest son and remembering Joe\u2019s fall there, which had heralded all the trouble with Addison. Considering the nature of the terrain Ben was not using his common sense in allowing his thoughts to wander so far, but he paid heavily for it. Buck put his foot on a stone, which gave under him, and threw his master heavily, as he tried to retain his own feet. Ben fell badly his leg crumpling under him and he fell onto a large rock catching it in his ribs. He didn\u2019t completely lose consciousness and maintained his hold on the reins, but it was several minutes before he could do more than lie still and try to regain his breath. After five minutes Ben pulled himself to his feet, his right leg hurt badly but it seemed to take his weight. His whole side felt as though it was on fire and Ben was sure he must have broken some ribs, but for now the main task was to get home. Buck was still standing patiently by him and Ben took hold of the saddle horn and lent against his horse for a moment. Then summoning all his strength Ben managed to pull himself into the saddle, The pain in his right thigh sent coloured lights dancing in front of his eyes but he retained his senses and sent Buck off in a walk towards home. Afterwards he never remembered anything of that ride, his side was on fire but it was his leg, which sent sharp bursts of pain every time Buck moved.<\/p>\n By the time he reached the house Ben was beginning to run a fever and he was light headed, but he had made up his mind to talk to Joe this evening. He wasn\u2019t going to let a little thing like a fall stand in his way, neither was he going to take an unfair advantage over his son by letting Joe know that he was hurt. That could wait until after their talk. Ben dismounted stiffly and had to hold onto the hitchrail to stay on his feet. Then moving into the shadows of the porch he called for Kirk and asked him to take care of Buck, Kirk agreed without comment for once and Ben waited for him to lead the horse off before he limped into the house. He poured himself a stiff drink and then sank into a chair by the fire, Gradually the brandy took effect and Ben began to feel better and became confident that he could carry it off in front of his son. While he stayed still his leg didn\u2019t hurt so much and the pain in his side was down to a bearable dull ache. After two more brandies he felt fit to face Joe.<\/p>\n Little Joe rode in from the lumber camp and was surprised to find his father sitting doing nothing in front of the fire. He commented on it and Ben said, \u201cI was waiting for you to come home Joseph. I think its time we had a talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe said, \u201cFine by me. I wanted to talk to you this evening anyway.\u201d He threw himself into the chair opposite his father. For a moment there was silence and then Joe broke it \u201cI\u2019m going to marry Marie, Pa. As soon as Adam comes home, with or without your blessing.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben wasn\u2019t thinking clearly with a rising temperature and that bald statement lost him all hold on his temper. H shook his head and said bitterly \u201cQuite a jump from a tinhorn gambler to a Cartwright and even he had the sense not to offer marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe had been prepared to discuss it reasonably, wanting to make his father see that it wasn\u2019t the disaster he thought but at this he lost his temper too, never very secure. \u201cHow dare you speak like that about my future wife.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave a short laugh \u201cIts nothing to what most people will say and anyway it\u2019s the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n The two men were now both furious and had risen to their feet on either side of the fire. In their anger Little Joe looked more like his father than he ever had, noone could have mistaken them for other than father and son. They flung angry words at each other, Ben telling his son how he\u2019d been caught by a trollop, and Joe proclaiming, that he was of age and had had enough interference.<\/p>\n Ben said \u201cI will not have that female in my house.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe glared at him \u201cDon\u2019t worry she won\u2019t even come on your ranch and neither will I.\u201d with that he went over to the credenza and began buckling on his gunbelt.<\/p>\n Ben thundered at him \u201c\u201dIf you walk out that door, you\u2019re no longer a son of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grabbed his hat \u201cDon\u2019t bother to write!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben suddenly realised what he was doing and he wanted to tell his son that he didn\u2019t mean a word of it. He went to Joe and put a hand on his shoulder but Joe angry pushed his father away and walked out. He heard his father cry out as he went out the door but assuming it was sheer fury, Joe didn\u2019t even look back. Joe ran out to the barn, swiftly saddled Cochise and rode out without even a backward glance.<\/p>\n The push Joe had given his father was sufficient to upset Bern\u2019s precarious balance. It hadn\u2019t been a blow, just a shove, but Ben fell awkwardly and cried out in pain at the sudden agony in his leg as the cracked bone was displaced and the pain was sufficient to release him into unconsciousness. Hop Sing heard the cry and the fall and seeing his master was out cold, he ran down to the bunkhouse for help. The men there had heard the argument. The Cartwrights had always tended to argue at the top of their voices and it was nothing new. The men even knew why Joe was arguing with his father, dating a saloon girl against his father\u2019s wishes. Now hearing that Ben was unconscious, they jumped to the conclusion the Joe had beaten up his father. In a way it was surprising as none of them remembered any of the boys lifting a finger to their father but it seemed obvious from the facts. Two of them went in with Hop Sing to get Ben up to his bed and another one rode to town to get the doctor.<\/p>\n In town Joe had headed straight to the Bucket O\u2019Blood. In his anger he hadn\u2019t fully taken in that his father had disowned him but the ravages of that argument showed only too clearly on his face. Friends who would normally have spoken to him, took one look, and steered clear of him. Joe saw Marie sitting talking to a young cowboy and went straight over to her and grabbed her arm \u201cYou\u2019ve got to come out back. I must talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n The cowboy recognised Joe Cartwright and hastily left the table but Marie protested \u201cI can\u2019t. Not now Joe I\u2019m working.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled at her arm \u201cYou\u2019ve got to. I\u2019ll square it with Don.\u201d<\/p>\n Seeing the expression on Joe\u2019s face, Marie realised that something was seriously wrong and she let Little Joe lead her outside. Joe held her close for a minute burying his aching head in her hair, fighting for control. Eventually he pulled away and gripped her arms \u201cYou\u2019ve got to marry me, now, tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stared at him \u201cHave you gone mad Joe? What about your family?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe laughed bitterly \u201cYou don\u2019t need to worry about them any more. My father told me quite clearly I\u2019m no longer his son, so you can forget about them. There\u2019s just me. We\u2019ll go north, maybe even to Canada and start afresh.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stared at him and then sighed \u201cOh Joe.\u201d She sat down on the step and looked up at her love. She had been scared that something like this would happen. She had asked one of the other girls Janie, who had been in town for several years and knew all three brothers. Janie had laughed at her, everyone knew the Cartwrights were too close a family. They might shout at each other, even occasionally fight but they would never turn their back on each other, whatever happened the other Cartwrights would accept it in time.<\/p>\n For a long moment Marie sat staring at Joe, seeing the hurt in his eyes and knowing whatever he said that he couldn\u2019t be happy away from his family and his beloved ranch. Marie had come to know him very well over the last few weeks and had realised what few did, just how sentimental he was under his facade. One of his main charms was his irrepressible love of life, but she sensed that would die if he was torn from the land into which his roots were so deeply planted. Her brain raced in the few seconds she scanned his face and she made up her mind. She only had one course open to her, she loved him too much to ruin him and so she put all her energies into the best job of acting she had ever done.<\/p>\n She got to her feet, mask firmly in place and shook her head \u201cI\u2019m not marrying you Joe. You\u2019d better go back and make it up with your Pa.\u201d Joe stared at her stunned as she went on \u201cWhat have you got to offer me, a $30 a month cowhand without even a job. How are you going to keep me? It was one thing to marry Joe Cartwright of the Ponderosa, he was rich but plain Joe Cartwright has nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe protested \u201cBut I love you and you love me.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed and Joe didn\u2019t even notice the hollow ring \u201cFine you love me but that won\u2019t keep me fed and clothed. I loved a rich young man, you\u2019re no longer him. Go home to your Pa little boy, I told you it was a fool\u2019s paradise.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe went to try and take her in his arms but she pushed him away \u201cI\u2019ve got a job to do.\u201d Marie pushed past him and went back into the saloon, where she ran straight up to her room and threw herself sobbing on the bed.<\/p>\n Little Joe sat in the alley for over half an hour, stunned, hating to admit that his father had been right. Eventually he went out to fetch Cochise, wanting to get right away, not much caring where, but fate had one more blow for him that night. On the sidewalk he met two cowboys who had been thrown off the Ponderosa a few months back for setting traps against orders. They were now working in the mines but still harboured resentment. On seeing Joe they came over wanting to rub in the rift that they had heard of in the high n\u2019mighty Cartwright family. One clapped Joe on the back \u201cCongratulations Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up puzzled and the other one said \u201cI hear you finally broke away from your old man, beat him up for good measure.\u201d<\/p>\n His friend back him up \u201cYeah I\u2019d like to see the old man now, hear you even broke his leg.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked at them in disbelief but then down the street he saw one of the Ponderosa hands riding next to Doc\u2019s buggy and he could only believe the men were telling the truth. He pushed unseeingly past then to Cochise and he heard again is father\u2019s cry as he left the house and now he realised it had been a cry of pain not of anger. Hardly surprisingly Joe couldn\u2019t remember what he had done but he had seldom been so furious and he was scared that he had badly hurt his father.<\/p>\n Thoroughly confused, his whole world in turmoil, Joe went over to the bank where the manager was working late. As a special favour Mr Harris let Joe clear his account and then with some $2 200 Joe rode out of town, He couldn\u2019t go home and face his father. He had been wrong but he couldn\u2019t admit it and now he had hurt his father. He rode out not knowing where he was going or what he intended to do. He rode for hours and eventually reached the glen where he had camped with Marie. There Joe dismounted and built a fire. For hours he sat staring into the fire seeing alternately his father\u2019s angry face as he said that Joe was no longer his son and Marie\u2019s cold withdrawn face as she said that plain Joe Cartwright had nothing to offer. Joe sat for hours unable to think clearly, sure only that he couldn\u2019t return to his father with his tail between his legs. Ben had disowned him and that was before he had hurt his father; Joe could only think he would be even more certain that he wanted nothing more to do with his youngest son. Scared how badly hurt his father was and praying that Ben would come to know that he hadn\u2019t intended to hurt his father, Joe sank into deep black despair. Joe tried to face the thought of never again returning to the Ponderosa, never again visiting his mother\u2019s grave on the promontory, never again seeing his father or his brothers. Joe sat staring into the fire, trying to face the idea of a life alone and far from home. He hardly moved all that long night as he tried to blot out the memories of the previous day. Then, towards dawn, he realised that at last he understood how Adam must have felt when he ran away to England and with that realisation came the knowledge that he had to talk to his eldest brother. For the first time he consciously took in where he was and realised that he had set out on the long journey to join his brother, even before the had given it a thought. He knew it wasn\u2019t tactful to intrude on his brother\u2019s honeymoon, but his need was too urgent to await Adam\u2019s return. Joe was sure that Carole would understand and just maybe Adam could sort things out and make everything better just as he had when Joe was a kid, at the very least Adam might be able to arrange things so that he could come home again. Eventually his decision made Joe relaxed and the strains and tensions of the previous night had their inevitable effect and he fell asleep.<\/p>\n Back at the house Doc had arrived before Ben had recovered consciousness. Paul had heard the men\u2019s story and their conclusion that Joe had beaten up his father but he had known the Cartwrights for many years, indeed most of Joe\u2019s life. Paul found it very hard to credit. He had known the brothers fight, twice Hoss had quite badly hurt his eldest brother when losing his temper Hoss had used his huge strength, but to the Doc\u2019s knowledge none of the three boys had ever lifted a hand against their father.<\/p>\n Doc went up to his patient and with Hop Sing\u2019s help he began to examine the injured man, He found the extensive bruising down Ben\u2019s right side with four broken ribs and then he found the broken thigh. He couldn\u2019t begin to imagine how Joe could have inflicted such injuries but deciding that Ben was the only one who really knew what had happened, Paul turned his attention to repairing the damage. Paul had already set the bone and put Ben\u2019s leg in plaster before Ben began to stir. Paul finished fixing traction for the leg and then, moved up to hold Ben still gently moistening his mouth. Ben asked for Little Joe but the Doc couldn\u2019t help he concentrated on his old friend\u2019s physical condition. \u201cTake it easy Ben, you\u2019ve got a broken leg and broken ribs.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben, now fully conscious realised who was there and then looked round the room but nobody else was there. Paul, not knowing how to tell Ben about the rumours flying around, kept things strictly factual \u201cOne of the hands fetched me, Hop Sing had found you unconscious on the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben lay back and stared at the ceiling and Paul risked a question \u201cHow did it happen Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI took a heavy fall of Buck this afternoon. I was going to send for you but it didn\u2019t seem too urgent and then I moved wrong somehow, I remember a sharp pain in my leg and I guess I passed out.\u201d His story fitted the injuries and Doc smiled down at him \u201cI imagine that you cracked the thigh bone when you fell and then somehow displaced it later. I\u2019ve got it set but its going to have to stay in traction for at least a couple of weeks, make sure the bone stays aligned while it starts healing. You are going to have to stay put in bed, give it a chance to heal, knit together before you put any weight on it even in the cast.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow long?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure Ben but you\u2019re no longer young, bones don\u2019t heal as well and it will probably take twice as long as one of your sons would Let\u2019s say two months as a minimum.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was horrified, he hated being stuck in bed but the Doc went on. \u201cI know how you feel Ben but often enough you have had to advise your sons to be patient, now you\u2019ll have to take your own advice.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was silent and Paul went over and poured him a drink and as he passed it to Ben his old friend asked, \u201cHave you seen Little Joe, Paul? He left just before I fell again and he doesn\u2019t know I was hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul knew he had to tell Ben what was being said, much as he hated the idea. Someone was going to do so and it might be marginally easier coming from an old friend. He moved over to stare out of the window wanting to give the older man at least some privacy. “Your hands heard you arguing with Joe and then you were found out cold. Word has gone round town that Joe beat you up. I don\u2019t know whether Little Joe had heard, but when I saw him he turned his back and walked away.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat stunned at what he\u2019d heard but after a minute he got control of his voice \u201cIts not true Joe didn\u2019t touch me. I told you what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI believe you Ben. Your injuries aren\u2019t consistent with Joe going for you anyway, but that isn\u2019t going to stop the rumours.\u201d<\/p>\n Then as though it was some sort of nightmare Ben remembered how Joe had left the final few minutes of their argument unrolled in his mind and he remembered how he had disowned his son. He hadn\u2019t meant a word of it, it had been pain and brandy, fever and temper talking but how could Joe know that. He looked so ill that Paul hastily poured him a large brandy and fed him some of it. As a little colour returned to Ben\u2019s lips Doc sat back \u201cBen where are Hoss and Joe? I know Adam is back east but you really need one of them here.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sipped a little more brandy and pulled himself together, he wasn\u2019t going to allow outsiders in on family dissension, not even such an old friend as Doc. \u201cJoe\u2019s gone north on business. I can\u2019t reach him for a few days and Hoss has gone south into Arizona with a horse delivery. He\u2019ll be back in a week but e can\u2019t make it back any faster. He\u2019ll be at his furthest point before I can contact him. Don\u2019t worry Hop Sing will look after me.\u201d<\/p>\n There wasn\u2019t anything that Doc could do so he made sure that Ben had everything that he needed in close reach and promised \u201cI\u2019ll be back the day after tomorrow Ben and I\u2019ll do my best to scotch these rumours.\u201d Ben nodded and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n Ben lay there feeling old and helpless. Now when he most needed his sons he was alone and worse than that he had driven of his youngest in a way that he would have been the first to condemn in someone else. He could imagine Joe out there somewhere, either alone or with that girl. Ben knew his son well enough to know Joe would be as miserable as his father was, but he would be too proud to return immediately, especially if he believed that he really had hurt his father. Ben hoped and prayed that Joe would get in touch within a few days, when his temper had cooled down, even if only with Hoss and then he would be able to apologise to his son.<\/p>\n The next week seemed the longest Ben had ever spent. There was no word from Joe at all and none from Hoss, although Ben hadn\u2019t expected to hear from his big son. Dan and Roy and his partners in the mine, Fair and McKay, all came out to visit him and they did their best to hide from him the rumours that were rife round town. However they couldn\u2019t hide the fact that nobody had seen Little Joe for days and it was hard to talk to Ben. Each in turn gave up the effort, all taken aback at just how much he seemed to have aged over the last days.<\/p>\n Ben tried to work in bed if only pass the time, but he spent long hours unable to do anything except fret and miss his sons like hell. He knew Marie was still in town so Joe was somewhere on his own, rejected by his father, and maybe rejected by his girl as well. Ben sensed that his son was desperately unhappy and personally he was feeling more miserable and alone than he had in years. He had never felt so far apart from his sons, wanting desperately to see one of them, but he wouldn\u2019t let anyone worry Adam. It would take his eldest son two weeks to get home anyway and he wasn\u2019t about to ruin Adam\u2019s honeymoon by his own stupidity in dealing with his youngest son. Adam had waited a long time to find happiness and he had more than earned the right to enjoy himself for a few short weeks, without the demands of family on him. Ben was counting the hours until Hoss could be expected, he was the only person that Ben could tell the truth and allow to make enquiries to try and track Joe down.<\/p>\n Little Joe sat on the train, heading north towards his brother. He hardly ate or slept and sat staring out of the window, The faces of Ben and Marie were forever floating in front of him and there was no way to blot them out. Joe kept seeing his father\u2019s white face as his youngest son accused him of only caring about Adam. Joe was past rational thought; he was just existing somehow to get through the hours until he could reach Adam that was his only aim. The expression on his face was enough to keep the other travellers at a distance as he sat motionless for hour after hour staring out of the window, living through his own private hell of despair.<\/p>\n In Virginia City Roy and Dan were down at the Doc\u2019s. They had all visited Ben and been shocked by how old and ill he looked. It was obvious that Joe\u2019s absence was worrying him and they had no idea where Joe was. All three men believed Ben\u2019s denial that Joe had hurt him, but something wad badly wrong. Each in turn had tried to persuade Ben to talk but none of them had succeeded. They sat over coffee and discussed their failure but didn\u2019t know what to do to help their old friend. It was difficult to know how to help, what Ben needed was Joe or at the very least one of his sons, but with Adam back east and Hoss away that wasn\u2019t easy to arrange. Dan suggested that at least they could get the Vicar to go out and have a chat, maybe he could get Ben to talk, Dan was sure that Ben would feel better if only he could be persuaded to talk whatever was bothering him over with someone. Roy didn\u2019t think it would any good but admitted it couldn\u2019t do any harm. Roy hadn\u2019t liked to see his old friend looking so old, drawn and beaten. Dan said he would have a word with the vicar and Roy decided to telegraph around the local towns and try and pick up word on Joe that was the medicine that Ben really needed.<\/p>\n The vicar went out to see Ben that afternoon but found him withdrawn and unwilling to discuss personal topics. Ben would discuss mine business or the weather but each time the Vicar tried to turn the conversation to his sons, Ben answered in monosyllables and quickly returned to impersonal topics. Eventually the vicar decided the only way to try and help was to ask straight out “We all know you had a row with Joe, Ben. Is that what is worrying you? You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”<\/p>\n Ben sat silent for a moment, staring at the ceiling, then he said \u201cI know you mean well but I don\u2019t discuss family matters with outsiders. Joe is away on business. We didn\u2019t part on the best of terms but I am close enough to my sons for that not to matter in the long term.\u201d The vicar had to accept Ben\u2019s refusal to discuss it and he allowed Ben to change the subject and soon after he left.<\/p>\n Ben lay back, he knew all his friends were worried about him, but even in front of them he didn\u2019t feel well enough to put on an act. He couldn\u2019t remember when he\u2019d last spent such a black week. Often things had gone more disastrously wrong, but this time he was badly hurt and all his sons were away, The only pleasant thoughts he had were of his eldest son, but in those long pain filled hours it was Little Joe, who filled his mind. He was convinced that somewhere Joe was sitting as miserable as he was and if only he could speak to his son and apologise then he could clear up this whole unholy mess.<\/p>\n Eventually that week came to an end and Hoss rode into Virginia City to pay the bank draft, he\u2019d received from the army, into their account. Dan saw him in the Palace as Hoss came in for a beer before returning home. Dan moved over to join Hoss as the big man took his first long drink \u201cHave you been to the Ponderosa yet?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 grin of welcome vanished and he looked worried \u201cNo. What\u2019s wrong Dan?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour Pa is stuck in bed, took a bad fall. I think maybe we ought to go over to Roy\u2019s office, where we can talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss rapidly downed his beer, frowning worriedly and then followed Dan out and across to the jail. He perched on the desk and looked at the older men. Dan and Roy looked at each other neither wanting to tell him the rumours that were rife but knowing that someone had to. Puzzled Hoss said, \u201cJust how bad is Pa? Joe\u2019s looking after him I take it? Why didn\u2019t Joe let me know?\u201d<\/p>\n Dan poured out two coffees and handed one to Hoss \u201cIt\u2019s not good, your Pa will be stuck in bed for a couple of months, he\u2019s bust his thigh and several ribs. He says he had a fall from Buck but few people in town believe him, even though Doc says his injuries are consistent with that. Most people think Little Joe beat him up and Joe has disappeared.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stared at Dan in total disbelief, stunned by what he\u2019d heard. \u201cNo that ain\u2019t right Joe\u2019s never raised a hand to Pa in his life. Why would anyone say that?<\/p>\n Roy got out a bottle of whiskey and poured a large slug in the big man\u2019s coffee \u201cEasy Hoss. I ain\u2019t saying it\u2019s true, but your hands heard Joe and your Pa arguing and then Joe rode out. A minute later Hop Sing is demanding help because your Pa is unconscious on the floor. What do you expect folks to think?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head \u201cI know Pa and Joe had an ongoing row over that saloon girl but I can\u2019t believe Joe would ever hurt Pa and I know my little brother would never leave Pa unconscious.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan said \u201cBen denied it, says Joe didn\u2019t know he was hurt but something is worrying him. He\u2019s aged twenty years in the last week Hoss. He looks old and defeated.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss got to his feet \u201cYou say Joe\u2019s disappeared?\u201d<\/p>\n Roy nodded \u201cHe was in town that night and left heading north but nobody has seen him since.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head with a big sigh \u201cI don\u2019t know, but I guess the first thing to do is to see Pa. I sure wish Adam was here.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy gripped his shoulder \u201cYou know if there\u2019s anything we can do you only have to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss managed a smile \u201cSure, Roy I know that.\u201d Then he headed home as fast as he could.<\/p>\n As he rode in Kirk appeared \u201cAbout time you got home Hoss. I\u2019ll take your horse go to your Pa.\u201d Hoss nodded and hurried inside taking off his gun and coat as he went. Hoss went straight up to his father\u2019s room and as he went in he realised the justice of Dan\u2019s comments. Then as Ben looked up and saw his big son after what seemed an eternity, he felt the hot tears scald his eyelids. Hoss moved swiftly over to sit by his father and put his arm round Ben\u2019s shoulders. Ben lay back against his big son and suddenly things seemed better, he was no longer alone, Hoss couldn\u2019t speak for a moment, even after Dan\u2019s warning, he had never seen his father so weak and ill and with the mark of defeat so clearly stamped on him. Hoss didn\u2019t like what he saw and he wasn\u2019t sure of the best way to help, he just knew that he had to try.<\/p>\n Eventually Hoss said, \u201cDan and Roy told me the gist of what\u2019s been happening. Just how bad are you hurt Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had pulled himself together, warmed by his son\u2019s strength and affection \u201cMy right thigh is broken. Doc reckons it\u2019ll be about two months before I can walk again. Otherwise it\u2019s just broken ribs and bruising and that\u2019s already beginning to fade.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stared down at his father \u201cWhen did you last eat a good meal?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t been hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss frowned, \u201cThat don\u2019t help nothing. I\u2019ll go and get Hop Sing to prepare two trays and then we can talk.\u201d He went downstairs, wanting to give his father some time to gain control. Hoss hadn\u2019t missed how close Ben was to breaking down and that was very unusual for Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n Ten minutes later Hoss went back in with trays piled high with food. He helped his father into a more comfortable position and then issued his orders. \u201cPa, for once you are gonna do as I say. Eat that first. Then you can explain what you and Joe have been up to that\u2019s got you in this state and the whole town talking.\u201d Ben went to speak but Hoss shushed him \u201cNot a word until we\u2019ve eaten. I\u2019m starving and from what Hop Sing says you dern well should be.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben went to protest but his son\u2019s worried eyes stopped him and he just said, \u201cIt\u2019s good to have you home Hoss.\u201d His son\u2019s presence dispelled some of the darkness that had surrounded him and while Ben couldn\u2019t finish the food, he made a fair attempt.<\/p>\n When Hoss had cleared the trays and brought coffee, Ben was ready to talk. Hoss pulled up a chair by the bed. Ben couldn\u2019t look at his son he stared down at the quilt slowly tracing the pattern on it but eventually he started talking \u201cI think I have done just about everything wrong that I could this last week. I can\u2019t believe how big a mess I\u2019ve made of everything.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBe easiest if you tell me from the beginning Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and with a deep breath he did his best to comply. \u201cWhen you left I was determined to have a talk with your little brother that evening, There had been a growing tension between us for weeks and it was driving me slowly mad. Even if we had a row I reckoned it would at least clear the air and it would hardly be the first time. I was thinking about Joe all day, especially once I\u2019d finished up at the mine. Rock Canyon isn\u2019t the most sensible place to let your attention wander but I paid for it. Buck stepped on a stone that gave under him and as he tried to save himself I took a fall and landed badly. I knew I had broken at least a couple of ribs and Doc reckons I cracked my thighbone. I was winded but I\u2019d kept hold of the reins and once I got my breath back I found my leg would support me and I managed to remount and ride home. I knew I\u2019d broken ribs but it didn\u2019t seem that urgent and I was determined to have it out with Joe so I decided to talk to him before calling Doc. Ben looked up at his big son \u201cI must have been light headed. I know I was running a temperature but after a couple of brandies it seemed clear. Have it out with Joe without putting him at a disadvantage by letting him know I was hurt, then get the Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head in near disbelief \u201cYou\u2019re a fool at times Pa. Can you wonder Adam is so derned pigheaded.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know Hoss I\u2019ve been telling myself for the last week what a stupid fool I was, but it seemed right at the time. The inevitable result was that I lost my temper with Joe the moment he spoke. I should have known I would. Joe said that he was marrying Marie as soon as Adam came home with or without my blessing. I blew up at him said something about it being a big step up from a tinhorn gambler to a Cartwright and he hadn\u2019t bothered to offer marriage; so of course Joe lost his temper too. We stood either side of the fire lashing out verbally, I know I didn\u2019t mean what I said and I\u2019m sure Joe didn\u2019t either.\u201d Ben fell silent but Hoss sensed that his pa hadn\u2019t finished and just waited. At length Ben went on \u201cI told Joe that I wouldn\u2019t have that girl in my house and he said neither of them would set foot on my ranch. He went over to the door and began buckling on his gunbelt. I was furious but it was fever and brandy speaking.\u201d Ben closed his eyes and then hardly audible he said \u201cI told Joe if he walked out the door he was no longer a son of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was badly shaken by that and could only grip his father\u2019s arm in mute reassurance, Ben looked up at him \u201cI didn\u2019t mean it, not even then. I suddenly realised what I was doing; moved to stop him but Joe brushed past me. I fell and displaced the bones in my leg and passed out. He must have gone out with out a backward glance. I haven\u2019t seen him since and I don\u2019t know where he is.\u201d<\/p>\n As Ben finally fell quiet Hoss poured his father a brandy, realising just why is father was in such a state. He did his best to reassure his father \u201cOnce Joe calms down, he\u2019ll know you didn\u2019t mean it, he knows your temper. I know you always say he inherited his temper from his mother but Adam and I always reckoned he got some of it from you. He must know as well as I do that you wouldn\u2019t disown any of us, no matter what we did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hoped that but he\u2019s been gone over a week with no word. Then there are those stupid rumours in town that he beat me up. What effect will those have on him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know Pa. I\u2019d guess he\u2019s thoroughly confused. Have you made any enquiries?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head \u201cNo I just said that he was away on business. I couldn\u2019t explain to anyone except you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss gripped his father\u2019s shoulder \u201cIt\u2019ll work out Pa, just as soon as I can find Joe. I\u2019ll knock your two heads together. Try not to worry. Little Joe knows you too well and loves you too much for it not to be okay once he\u2019s had time to think. For a start I think I\u2019ll ride back into town and have a word with the cause of the trouble, maybe she knows where Joe is. You get some sleep,\u201d<\/p>\n Ben yawned \u201cI do feel sleepy, must be having someone to talk to. I haven\u2019t been sleeping too well,\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss pinned his faith in the strong dose of laudanum he\u2019d put in his father\u2019s coffee but thought better of mentioning it. He helped his father to settle down comfortably and the left him. When Hoss looked in twenty minutes later, having changed clothes, he found his father fast asleep.<\/p>\n Hoss rode into town with plenty of food for thought. He was frankly amazed that even under the influence of fever, brandy and temper his father could ever disown one of his sons, it went so far against everything his father had ever said. Hoss had stayed cheerful in front of his father but he couldn\u2019t help feeling that Joe might believe that if Ben had changed sufficiently to say it, maybe he had changed enough to mean it. Now more than ever before he wished for his eldest brother\u2019s advice, but he couldn\u2019t even get it by telegraph, because Ben had forbidden him to worry Adam on his honeymoon. Hoss had to admit that Adam head earned time to enjoy himself.<\/p>\n Once he arrived in town Hoss went straight to the Bucket O\u2019Blood. He checked that Don hadn\u2019t seen Joe but pointedly ignored Don\u2019s questions just asking Don to point out Marie. Hoss did insist that the rumours doing the rounds were total rubbish. Hoss had never seen Marie and now that he did he was very surprised. Marie was desperately unhappy, knowing that Joe hadn\u2019t returned home as she wanted and scare that he had done something stupid after his double rejection. She lived in dread of word coming to town that his body had been discovered and she had her own personal worries as she began to fear that she was pregnant. She went through the motions of living but her smile was mechanical and never reached her eyes. The lovely blonde hair and the heart-shaped face were still there but Hoss could see little in her that would have attracted his brother. Hoss waited for an opportunity to speak to her and it wasn\u2019t long coming, she couldn\u2019t keep the men interested these days. When she was on her own Hoss moved over and asked her to join him at a corner table, Once they were seated Hoss introduced himself and she started at the name and would have stood up and left but Hoss reached up and stopped her. He said, \u201cPlease don\u2019t go. I just want the answers to a couple of questions.\u201d<\/p>\n She sank back down in her chair and Hoss went on hurriedly \u201cI won\u2019t hurt you or anything. I just want to find my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up at the big man \u201cI haven\u2019t seen Joe for a week.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss said, \u201cI know my little brother came here after he\u2019d had a row with Pa, what happened then?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stared at him seeing the deep concern on his face, she wanted to get away from him but just maybe this big man could help Joe so she told him in a few brief words about Joe’s proposal and what she had said to Joe. Then she stood up and looking at Hoss she could see the worry and compassion for his brother mirrored on his face. She said \u201cI haven\u2019t seen him since and I don\u2019t know where he was going but I hope he\u2019s alright,\u201d With that she turned and left him. Hoss sat there staring into space for over an hour, guessing how Joe must have felt, rejected on all sides that evening and trying to puzzle out what his little brother would have done in that frame of mind. He wasn\u2019t getting anywhere and eventually Don came over with a large whisky and handed it to Hoss. He sat down opposite Hoss \u201cYou look as though you need that.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sipped it slowly \u201cThanks Don, guess I do have a lot on my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t judge her too harshly, she\u2019s been miserable herself since she sent Joe off.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss just nodded not wanting to discuss things, he downed the whisky and murmuring thanks left the saloon.<\/p>\n As he stood in the street, Hoss noticed a light on at the bank and knew Mr Harris was working late as he often did. Hoss decided to see if he could find out if Joe had any money and headed over to the bank. Mr Harris was an old friend but at first he was very dubious about Hoss\u2019 request. \u201cIt\u2019s not really my business to reveal to you what your brother did. He didn\u2019t touch the Ponderosa account.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sat down heavily and his face showed his deep worry \u201cLook Mr Harris I know you\u2019ll have heard all these rumours. They ain\u2019t true but Joe did have a row with Pa and did leave home. We don\u2019t know where he is, I just need to know if he at least has some cash.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright Hoss. Your brother isn\u2019t broke. He cleared his personal account took out over two thousand dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t give you any idea where he was going?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry Hoss. I don\u2019t think Joe knew. He looked sort of stunned almost dazed.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss got to his feet \u201cI see, well thanks anyway Mr Harris.\u201d<\/p>\n As he turned to go out the older man said \u201cWhat you told me will go no further.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss forced a smile \u201cThanks again Mr Harris. Guess it\u2019ll all work out.\u201d Then he headed out and wandered down to Roy\u2019s office. Hoss found the sheriff drinking coffee. As Hoss came in Roy poured out another cup and waved him to a chair.<\/p>\n Hoss sank down in the chair and gratefully accepted the coffee. Roy having considered the big man pulled out a bottle of whisky and poured a hefty slug of it into Hoss\u2019 cup. Hoss forced a smile for the sheriff \u201cWhat a mess! Far as I can make out Pa and Joe had a row, Joe left in a temper. Then Pa fell, hurt his leg again and passed out. Joe came to town and had another row with Marie. Then he probably heard he was supposed to have beaten up Pa. Anyways he drew out all his personal cash and rode out of town. Noone has seen him since.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy nodded \u201cThat about sums it up. How\u2019s Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss said \u201cPa always hates being on bad terms with any of us. Rows flare up from time to time but they usually disappear real fast. Pa\u2019s scared that something has happened to Joe and if I read her right Marie is scared he\u2019s killed himself.\u201d<\/p>\n That did shock Roy and he looked up questioningly at Hoss \u201cWere the rows that serious?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed heavily and then got up and went over to the window \u201cThey could have been. But my brother\u2019s no coward. He\u2019d never take his own life. However bad things look. Joe loves life too much.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy bit his lip worried at Hoss even admitting the possibility \u201cI\u2019ve been telegraphing around but there ain\u2019t no news of him. Not anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grabbed his hat \u201cI expect he\u2019s just disappeared up into the hills, somewhere quiet to have time alone. Sort himself out, he\u2019ll be back when he\u2019s ready. Be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy nodded \u201cSure Hoss but just let me know if there\u2019s anything I can do to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grinned faintly \u201cThanks Roy. It\u2019ll work out. I\u2019d better be getting home. With Pa in bed and both my brothers away the work has been piling up some.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss rode up to Lake Tahoe on the way home and sat down staring out over the Lake. He tried, for the thousandth time, to work out where Joe would have headed. He could only get as far as the thought that Joe would have avoided civilisation, needing time to think but that didn\u2019t exactly help. Eventually Hoss went on home and after checking that his father was asleep, he went to bed. He couldn\u2019t sleep, lying awake for hours thinking round in circles.<\/p>\n The following morning he went in to his father. Ben was awake but feeling much better for a good night\u2019s sleep and the fact that he had at least he had one son home with him. As Hoss came in he looked up questioningly. Hoss sat down by the bed \u201cNo real news Pa. I had a chat with Marie. Little Joe went to her after he left you. He wanted to get married that evening and said they\u2019d go north maybe to Canada and start afresh, that he\u2019d broken with us and the ranch. She said..\u201d Hoss sighed heavily and sipped the coffee he had brought up before continuing \u201cShe told him she wasn\u2019t marrying any thirty dollar a month cowboy without even a job and that he should go home. Then he drew out all his own cash. Mr Harris said he looked sorta stunned but at least he has money, more\u2019n two thousand dollars. Dan saw him leave town heading north. That\u2019s it Pa I ain\u2019t got any idea where he\u2019d have gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat staring into space for a long time then he looked up seeing his big son\u2019s anxious face \u201cPoor boy rejected on all sides, where can he have gone?\u201d Hoss just shook his head and Ben went on \u201cHe\u2019s out there somewhere confused and miserable, if only he\u2019d come home.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged \u201cI guess it\u2019ll take him a while to come to terms with himself sufficiently to come home and admit that you were right. At least he\u2019s got plenty of money but he could be anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know all we can do is wait for word from him. We still have contracts to meet and work that must be done.”<\/p>\n Hoss wanted to help; wanted to dispel the look from his father\u2019s eyes, but he didn\u2019t know how so he allowed his father to turn the talk to ranch business. With Ben stuck in bed and both his brother\u2019s away, a lot of the work fell on Hoss\u2019 shoulders. Jos\u00e9 was handling the autumn roundup as he had the spring roundup and with the flume in action again they would be able to fulfil all the timber contracts on time. Ben had hired some extra men but Johnny was still managing to run things on a day to day basis although the paperwork was handled at the main house. Hoss knew he had to get up to the lumber camp and check with Johnny and once he started to make a list of things he ought to do it looked more and more impossible.<\/p>\n Over the next few days Hoss was working very long hours but he did make time every day to spend with his father and try to keep Ben\u2019s spirits up. At least his father was handling a lot of the paperwork, glad of something to do, to take his mind of his youngest son. Ben\u2019s problem was that every time he raised his head, he seemed to see his youngest son, sometimes it was his son\u2019s angry face as he argued or when he accused Ben of only caring for Adam, but more often he saw Joe stunned rejected and desperately unhappy. Ben felt as though his heart was constricted and his head felt as though there was a tight band round it. If only he could get to his son and talk to him. He was very grateful for Hoss\u2019 presence and tried to remain cheerful in front of his son, but Hoss could only see the pain in his father\u2019s eyes, which he knew only Joe could dispel. Hoss had only seen that expression once before and that was when Adam ran away to England. It had gradually disappeared as the tone of Adam’s letters changed when he decided he would come home. Then at least Ben hadn\u2019t had to blame himself for driving Adam away as he did with Joe.<\/p>\n In New York Adam and Carole were coming to the end of their third week, all their shopping was done and the arrangements made to send it to the railway terminus. Carole was worried about the money they were spending but Adam told her not to worry, he had plenty left in his own personal account, he hadn\u2019t touched the Ponderosa account. Carole frowned, she had never understood how they sorted out money and she said so. Adam grinned, \u201cI\u2019m not surprised. It isn\u2019t really a system more a sort of haphazard arrangement. All four of us can draw unlimited on the Ponderosa account at need, but if you do draw money from it then you have to explain why. When we were younger, Pa made it two signatures required, but not now. Pa pays Hoss and Joe and me a salary just like the other hands, maybe a bit more for the responsibility but realistic. The sort of salary I could get from any other ranch. Then in addition Pa set all three of us up with personal accounts when we were seventeen. He decided that we ought to have some money to do what we wanted, gamble if we wanted, whether on the stock market or cards, treat ourselves, or buy presents. Money we can use without having to make any explanation. At the end of each year when we know the profit the ranch has made we have a discussion. Decide how much goes into our personal accounts, what the ranch needs reinvested, it can get a mite heated at times.\u201d Adam smiled at his wife who was watching fascinated. He went on \u201c If we buy stocks and they go up then the profit goes into the personal account. Pa and I both own shares in the Hale and Norcross amongst other mines, although Pa backed it with the Ponderosa at one stage. If there were trouble then of course we\u2019d all throw in our personal cash. Joe tends to spend his, I don\u2019t know what he does with money, it always seems to slip through his fingers although he\u2019s good at scrounging from Hoss and me.\u201d Adam gave a rueful grin thinking of the number of times he had succumbed to his youngest brother\u2019s wiles. \u201cHoss just draws his when he wants something or someone else is in need, softest touch in town. He rarely invests it, just not interested. Pa and I have been lucky on the stock market. We both know the mines quite well and at the moment we are both independently wealthy apart from the Ponderosa, but the mines are always unpreditcable and it could disappear tomorrow. The Ponderosa is real and it will still be there when the mines are finally in borrasca.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole considered what he said, there were so many things she still had to learn about her new family. She asked tentatively \u201cWhat are we going to do about house keeping money, do I just run up bills at the store or what?”<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d rather we paid at the time, the stores have problems sometimes with lack of cash. I’ll open you a drawing account and pay in quarterly. It may take a year or so to settle down to how much you need but we\u2019ll sort it out.\u201d He grinned impishly \u201cI promise you won\u2019t be short of cash, plenty to buy that fetching little hat or the new dress you need to keep your husband interested.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole gave him a mock glare \u201cAm I going to have to work on that?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lent forward and kissed her \u201cNot all the time you have those beautiful big eyes.\u201d He pulled her towards him and any thought of money instantly vanished. An hour later they had to rush to get ready as they were going to watch Edwin in MacBeth. They had the Presidential box again but this time there was only a sprinkling of society present.<\/p>\n Adam and Carole joined Edwin and Jim for dinner after the show, a final celebration as the honeymooners were moving onto Boston the following day. It was a cheerful happy group; Carole had quickly slipped into an easy comradeship with both Edwin and Jim. They discussed the play but neither Carole nor Jim was prepared to let the friends argue about the play all night. Adam gracefully agreed, not one of his favourite plays, he was content to congratulate Edwin on his performance and allow them to change the subject.<\/p>\n The four friends sat and chatted over a range of subjects tentatively arranging for Edwin and Jim to come out and stay in Adam\u2019s new house next spring when Edwin was hoping to arrange a season in Frisco. They were joined for a short time by a friend of Edwin\u2019s, Rutherford Hayes, who was Governor of Ohio. Hayes had heard of the Ponderosa and was interested in what Adam could tell him about Virginia City. Hayes stayed chatting for half an hour and then returned to his own party. Edwin watched him go and then commented. “That\u2019s one very clever politician.” I shouldn\u2019t be surprised to see him President one of these days.\u201d Adam showed his surprise at that, he hadn\u2019t even heard of the man before and yet he had a considerable number of contacts in Washington.<\/p>\n Jim smiled \u201cEdwin may be right. I\u2019ve often been surprised that you haven\u2019t taken up politics Adam. You were in on the birth of Nevada and with the backing of the Ponderosa it wouldn\u2019t be that difficult for you to get into the Senate.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed at that \u201cThere are at least two very good reasons why you\u2019ll never see me there. Firstly politics bores me to tears. To have to listen to long, bad speeches by men, whom you neither agree with nor respect, is a great waste of time in my opinion. There are too many compromises and too much mud slinging for my taste. Secondly although I like Washington well enough for a visit. To live there, or here or in Boston would slowly drive me mad. I finally learnt my lesson in England. I was brought up on the wide, open spaces and I can\u2019t live happily for any length of time away from them.\u201d<\/p>\n Edwin shrugged \u201cPity though. You\u2019re the sort of person we need in politics Adam, honest with principles.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned at his friend \u201cThank you for those kind words but we still have a fight on the ground in Nevada and I think I\u2019m needed there. One thing I\u2019ll guarantee I have no intention of getting into politics.\u201d Then deciding the discussion was getting too serious he changed the subject. They sat chatting until after two in the morning and then retreated home to Edwin\u2019s study to sit around the fire with brandy, loath to go to bed, as it would signal the end of a very pleasant three weeks. Eventually Adam pulled Carole up from her position curled up against him \u201cCome on my love we should get a few hours sleep, we have a train to catch at midday.\u201d<\/p>\n They had done nearly all their packing the previous day, so even getting up at ten, they had time for a leisurely breakfast. When it was time to go Edwin and Jim both came to see them onto the train. Adam thanked his friend for his hospitality and Carole added her thanks, they had had a wonderful time, but Edwin pushed it off; he was only sorry they couldn\u2019t stay longer. It was little enough in return for all the times he\u2019d been to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n As they settled into their private carriage and the train pulled out Carole found herself in tears, she had had a wonderful time and didn’t want it to end. Adam saw and put his arm round her shoulders \u201cWould you want to live in New York?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole pulled away and immediately said, \u201cNo I\u2019d hate it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed \u201cI always knew it I will never understand women! If you don\u2019t want to stay here, then why the tears?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole nestled against his shoulder \u201cI\u2019ve had a marvellous three weeks, seen more plays and heard more music than in the rest of my life put together and I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s over. But while I enjoyed every minute of it, if I built my whole life round those things like Mrs Van der Bilt and the others I\u2019d be bored to distraction in a few months.\u201d She looked up at her husband \u201cThey even hand over their children to outsiders almost from birth. I think they lose the most important things in life. I\u2019d rather have a baby\u2019s babbling than the most magnificent symphony. I came home from Frisco before and found home seemed half dead now I wouldn\u2019t swap the view over the Sierras for the contents of the New York Academy. All this is wonderful for a vacation but not real.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled her tight to him, for a moment hardly able to speak through the lump in his throat and he just kissed her firmly. \u201cDarling I love you. I\u2019d always prayed I\u2019d find a woman, who felt as I did, become a true partner. I never wanted someone who would just look pretty and keep the home neat. I wanted someone who could share all my life, books, music, art but also the Ponderosa. I just never imagined that when I finally found her that she would be so very beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled up at him her eyes glowing \u201cI love you Adam\u201d and then snuggling close she shut her eyes and soon she was fast asleep. Adam sat staring out of the window remembering incidents from the last weeks and rejoicing that he felt so much better, the motion of the train wasn\u2019t worrying him as he supported his sleeping wife.<\/p>\n Little Joe was nearing New York. He was paying the price for lack of food and lack of sleep and was beginning to feel really ill. His eyes were sunk in their sockets and he had a fine beard not having shaved since he left home, He had been slowly losing weight and looked very drawn. Joe had a perpetual headache, which even at time disturbed his vision, sometimes he saw double, at other times it was just blurred. No longer capable of thinking coherently Joe was just existing almost in a vacuum, hardly noticing the passage of the miles or even time, with only one idea in his mind to reach his brother. From time to time Joe pressed his hand over his aching eye trying to block out Marie\u2019s face or his father\u2019s face, which rose accusingly in front of him, but most of the time Joe just stared unseeingly out of the window in a kind of torpor. When he finally reached New York Joe found that he had a twenty-four hour wait before he could catch a train to Boston. He had never been in New York before but he didn\u2019t care enough to explore and just walked out of the station and into the first hotel he saw. He got himself a room and hardly made it onto the bed before lack of sleep caught up with him. Joe slept the clock round but the sleep somehow made him feel worse not better. He awoke feeling as though he had a bad hangover, which as he had only been drinking black coffee seemed manifestly unfair. Joe gathered himself together and washed his face before going down for food. Even the sight of food turned his stomach and he settled for more coffee. Then needing to pass the time somehow he decided to go for a walk. He walked round New York for more than four hours but afterwards he was never able to remember where he had gone or what he had seen. Eventually it was time for the train and Joe headed onto Boston resuming his sightless staring out of the window.<\/p>\n Adam and Carole left Boston on the way to Hillsboro as Joe caught the train to Boston. It was only eighty miles to Hillsboro but they had to go by stagecoach and Adam still found that troubled him, even on the reasonably good roads in the settled East. They had spent most of the time in Boston with old friends of Adam’s. Although Boston had seemed exciting to Carole when she was a child, after the social whirl of New York, it seemed very quiet. Adam had always enjoyed trips to Boston and he delighted in the opportunity to take his wife to his mother’s grave, almost feeling as though he was introducing the two women. However after an enjoyable week, neither of them was particularly sorry to move onto Hillsboro, for ten days with Carole\u2019s parents before they returned home. Adam was rather surprised not to have had word from his father, who usually dropped him a line if he was away for any sort of extended period. Adam was beginning to miss the peace and quiet of the ranch and he longed to take Sport out for a long ride on his own. It was many months since he had toured the ranch last and he was feeling the need of it.<\/p>\n The last day on the coach to Hillsboro seemed forever to Little Joe. He was close to physical and mental breakdown, after nearly a fortnight without proper food or sleep. He sat staring out of the window not even realising the attention he was attracting. Joe had set out on the long trip without even a clean short or underclothes. Although he had bought some clothes in New York he was still basically dressed in his ranch clothes and they were out of place in New England, Not thinking he was even wearing his gun and the passengers looked askance at him. The driver had tried to pluck up the courage to speak to him but Joe\u2019s burning eyes had stopped him. Without his razor he had perforce grown a beard and after a fortnight it was well established. Above his beard his cheeks were sunken throwing his cheekbones into prominence. His eyes were sunk deep into their sockets but burnt intensely with his continual blinding headache. The scars on his forehead from the beating he\u2019d taken earlier in the year were showing clearly. There was an unhealthy grey tinge to his face and he was continually seeing double now. But he still had only one thought in his mind to reach his elder brother and, as he had done as a kid pour out all his troubles to Adam, who would somehow solve all his problems.<\/p>\n In Hillsboro Adam and Carole had spent a quiet couple of days. He had to be introduced to all her relatives and the friends she had grown up with but Carole insisted on keeping the mornings to themselves. Carole was very proud of her husband but her mother had warned her that most people considered that she had thrown herself away on a westerner, who was, by definition, wild and uncultured, if not completely illiterate. They had changed their minds slightly on learning that he was part owner of a thousand square miles but after all that was in the west. Carole had been furious but her mother had pointed out that she who laughs last, laughs longest. They would all have a shock when they met Adam.<\/p>\n Adam had bought several suits and a whole collection of lacy white shirts in New York. Adam remained faithful to his favourite black but when not working he was quite happy to change black shirts for fancy white ones. Ben had instilled good clothes sense in all his sons and Adam had honed his in Europe. He kept his basic clothes simple with no jewellery except for the signet ring that he wore as a wedding ring, which had a single diamond in one corner and the Ponderosa brand in the diagonal corner. In colour it was nearly always black and white although he sometimes wore a dark red but his clothes were well cut and his tall muscular body with slim hips and long legs showed the clothes of to perfection. Carole always felt a thrill of pride when her husband dressed for a social event. Too many of the boys she had grown up with wore over fussy clothes with too much jewellery and couldn\u2019t come close to her elegant husband.<\/p>\n When they first went downtown to visit her cousin, who was holding a welcome party for them, they were greeted by a sort of stunned silence, much to Adam\u2019s amusement. Carole was thoroughly embarrassed, knowing that Adam couldn\u2019t fail to notice the reaction and knowing her love well enough to know that he would guess the reason. Adam did, he had met the same reaction many times in Europe but he found it amusing and it certainly didn\u2019t worry him, so he grinned down at his wife \u201cWon\u2019t you introduce me to your cousin, my love?\u201d<\/p>\n Brought back to the present with a bump Carole began to introduce her husband around. Later in the evening when Adam was chatting with her cousin\u2019s husband and some of the other men, who all wanted to know what it was really like out west, Carole was cornered by her two cousins and two other old friends. They made it very clear that they thought Adam was gorgeous and a very good catch. When they heard about the home he was building for her and the things they had bought in New York, their opinion was reinforced. When they left Carole knew that her husband had made a very good impression on all her relatives and friends. She had expected him to but now looking at the admiration in the faces of her friends, she felt very proud and happy. Adam seemed to like her friends as well, an impression he was trying hard to give and avoided any controversial issues. A lot of them weren\u2019t really the sort of person he normally called friend, very dogmatic, especially on religious issues, but he was careful to avoid any potentially awkward issues.<\/p>\n They were going down to the bookshop on their third afternoon in Hillsboro when Adam suddenly stopped dead. Carole was worried \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure I\u2019m fine, but I\u2019m seeing things, that\u2019s Joe over there.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Book 2 – Adam helps his youngest brother, but they aren’t prepared for tehe problems Hoss causes when they return to Nevada<\/strong><\/p>\n HONEYMOON AND ARGUMENTS\u00a0\u00a0part 2<\/u>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n by Lyn Robinson<\/strong><\/p>\n Carole looked where he indicated, at the bearded young man standing looking very out of place and lost across the street. Tentatively she said \u201cIt looks rather like him but it can\u2019t be. Joe doesn\u2019t have a beard.\u201d<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t the beard that was throwing Adam, it was the lack of life in the man\u2019s whole form, so unlike his little brother. Even so, and with only a side view, Adam knew that it was Joe. Adam shook his head \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s happened or why he\u2019s here but that\u2019s my little brother and by the look of him something is terribly wrong. Come on.\u201d He took his wife\u2019s arm and hurried her across the busy street.<\/p>\n Little Joe had his back to them and was debating where to go for information on the King\u2019s. He was vaguely looking for the telegraph office when he heard his name, as Adam called to him. He turned and saw Adam and Carole a few yards away. Adam was thoroughly shocked by his brother, he had sensed the despair in the way Joe was standing but he had never seen it etched so deep on Joe\u2019s face. He looked at Carole who said “There\u2019s a spare room next to ours with my brother away, you\u2019d better bring him home.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded and moved closer to his brother, who still hadn\u2019t moved. Adam could see his brother was close to collapse. As he took Joe\u2019s arm the contact seemed to break Joe from his trance \u201cI\u2019m so sorry Adam, Carole I know I shouldn\u2019t have intruded on your honeymoon but I had to talk to Adam. I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n Carol moved close to him and kissed his cheek \u201cIt\u2019s alright Joe you are very welcome. Come to my parents you look as though you could do with some food.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at her, licking dry lips, but he couldn\u2019t find the words to answer her. Adam could feel his brother trembling, as he relaxed fractionally having reached his brother and he slipped his arm round Joe\u2019s waist to support him \u201cWe\u2019ll talk later little brother, lets get you in the warm. You\u2019re frozen.\u201d Joe lent heavily on his big brother as Adam led him down the street. He had need of his brother\u2019s support as the whole scene seemed to go into a blur in front of him.<\/p>\n Luckily they didn\u2019t have very far to go and after a close look at Joe, Adam had sent Carole ahead to warn her parents and get some hot coffee and brandy ready for Joe. Her parents were just about to go out and Carole told them to go ahead, sensing that Joe needed to be alone with his brother.<\/p>\n Adam brought Joe in and took him straight over to the fire. Joe had relaxed now he\u2019d reached Adam and he felt frozen and he couldn\u2019t stop trembling. He had come all that way to talk to his brother and now he had reached Adam he couldn\u2019t talk, relaxing his physical weakness was taking over. Adam was very worried, he knew that something must be seriously wrong to have brought Joe all that way and anyway he could have seen it on Joe\u2019s face, but he couldn\u2019t imagine what had happened in the few short weeks that he had been out of touch. Adam brought coffee and brandy over to his brother but Joe was shaking too much to hold the cup and so Adam sat down on the arm of Joe\u2019s chair and slowly fed his brother the hot drink. After a few minutes the brandy and his brother\u2019s closeness had effect and Joe stopped shaking so badly. Adam had asked his wife to organise a hot bath and a warm bed for his brother and as she went out Joe looked up at his brother and tried again to apologise for intruding. Adam shushed him gently \u201cJust a couple of questions Joe. Are Pa and Hoss alright?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe buried his face in his hand and Adam felt an icy grip on his heart as he strained to hear \u201cI\u2019m not sure Adam I think Pa has a broken leg.\u201d<\/p>\n Even more puzzled Adam asked, \u201cDo they know where you are?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe shook his head but he was trembling again and Adam noticed that and changed the subject \u201cAre you hungry Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe looked up at his brother \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen did you last eat Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe lent back staring at the ceiling \u201cI don\u2019t remember.\u201d Adam realised that his little brother was on the edge of complete collapse and stopped trying to question him. He stroked Joe\u2019s hair back off his forehead and slid his hand round the back of Joe\u2019s neck, slowly circling his thumb in a comforting gesture that Ben had used with all of them all their lives, and slowly Joe\u2019s trembling eased again. Carole put her head round the door \u201cThe bath is ready Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam risked leaving his brother for a couple of minutes and went over to her \u201cI don\u2019t know what is wrong but I don\u2019t think he\u2019s eaten in days, he\u2019s close to collapse. Can you cook up some broth for him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course my love.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam went on \u201cBefore you do that will you go down to the telegraph office, send Hoss a wire just to say the Joe is safe here with me and will come home with us and that I\u2019ll wire again once I\u2019ve had a chance to talk to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat has happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and sighed, \u201cI have absolutely no idea but he says Pa and Hoss don\u2019t know where he is and they are bound to be worried. He\u2019s not in a state to explain at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n As Carole left, Adam went back into his brother \u201cCome on Little Joe, you\u2019ll feel better after a bath.\u201d Joe allowed his brother to help him upstairs and he got undressed and sunk into the warm water. As the heat of the bath sunk into him he stopped trembling and looked up at Adam \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0Adam smiled at him \u201cIt\u2019s okay Little Joe we\u2019ll have a long talk when you have eaten and had a sleep, just try and relax for now.\u201d Joe gripped his brother\u2019s hand and closed his eyes. Adam didn\u2019t dare leave his brother scared that Joe would fall asleep, but after a while he persuaded Joe to get out of the bath and helped him get dry and then put on Adam\u2019s own night-shirt. Adam tucked his little brother up in the bed and as Carole brought in some broth Adam persuaded Joe to eat about half of it. Then Joe pushed it away. It was too long since he had eaten and he couldn\u2019t take anymore. Joe slid back down the bed and as the room went round he shut his eyes, lack of sleep caught up with him and he slipped into sleep. Adam sat by his brother for over an hour and then Carole came in \u201cI\u2019ll sit with him for a while my love. You ought to get some food.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not hungry but if you\u2019ll stay with him I\u2019ll go and buy him some clothes, he doesn\u2019t seem to have brought any luggage with him. I won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake as long as you need, by the look of him he\u2019ll sleep the clock round.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared down at his little brother, even in sleep, he looked strained and worried \u201cI\u2019ve never seen Joe so despairing, whatever has happened in the past. Even now while he\u2019s asleep he looks.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice trailed off in a sigh.<\/p>\n Carole gripped his arm \u201cYou won\u2019t help Joe by getting yourself upset darling.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam kissed her gently \u201cI know. I\u2019ll do something productive and get him some clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n As Adam went down town, he soon realised, from the looks that were given him and, from the way conversation ceased, as he appeared, that Joe\u2019s arrival had been noted and was the subject of much speculation. Adam managed to buy a decent suit and some shirts and accessories for his brother and then returned to the Kings\u2019 house. Nobody had the nerve to approach him and ask for actual information, although everyone seemed to have seen Joe\u2019s arrival and Adam leading him home. When he got back Adam found that Carole\u2019s parent had returned home. They had been subjected to a continuous barrage of questions the whole time they had been out. Joe\u2019s appearance had stunned the town, not used to guns being worn on the street and his fellow passengers on the stage were making the most of their terrifying journey with a wild western killer. Mrs King in particular was furious; they had had enough comment from relatives and neighbours on the first news of Carole\u2019s marriage. Adam\u2019s appearance had dispelled that, but now Joe\u2019s arrival had started it up al over again. Both of them tried to avoid letting Adam know how they felt but he knew full well the effect of Joe\u2019s arrival. Adam said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry my brother arrived like this but he\u2019s not exactly thinking straight.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr King said, \u201cYour brother is welcome in this house Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you Sir and I\u2019ll guarantee that before he leaves town he will demonstrate that the rest of the Cartwrights aren\u2019t illiterate yokels either.\u201d<\/p>\n Mrs King smiled at him \u201cWe would be grateful Adam but Carole said that he is ill.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip \u201cI don\u2019t know what has happened to bring him all this way, but whatever it was, he seems to have travelled for a fortnight without any proper food and with insufficient sleep. He\u2019ll be fine after a long sleep some food and a chance to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n She said, \u201cI hope you\u2019re right, but don\u2019t hesitate to ask for anything you need for him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam thanked her and then headed upstairs to his brother. Joe hadn\u2019t moved and Adam was fairly sure that he would sleep until morning. Eventually Carole persuaded Adam to come to bed, leaving both their door and Joe\u2019s open he would hear if his brother needed him. Adam gave way and joined her in bed, but he couldn\u2019t sleep as he tried to work out what on earth could be wrong.<\/p>\n In Virginia City the telegraph operator had heard all the rumours about Joe and knew that Ben was stuck in bed, so he decided Adam\u2019s telegram counted as urgent. He called one of the young boys over and told him if he took the telegram out to Hoss at the Ponderosa, Hoss would give him something for the trip.<\/p>\n Hoss was finding it increasingly difficult to rouse his father from the lethargy he had sunk into. It was more than two weeks since Joe had left and they had had no word. Ben wasn\u2019t eating and he wasn\u2019t sleeping. He roused sufficiently to keep the accounts straight, but even when Hoss was with him, he could barely force himself to speak to his son. Hoss had watched his father age and become an old beaten man under his eyes, and there wasn\u2019t a thing he could do to stop it. Only word from his little brother was going to help. Hoss hated what he saw and spent long hours trying to bring his father out of it with virtually no success. On top of that Hoss was finding the work round the ranch piling up on him despite all his efforts. He wasn\u2019t used to handling the detailed administration, and even with his father dealing with the financial details, Hoss was having to do a great deal of paperwork which he detested. He was working very long hours but even so he found it difficult to sleep, worrying about his father and his young brother. The strain was beginning to tell and his normally equable temper was showing distinct signs of fraying. Hoss was sitting at the desk that evening trying to make sense of some notes sent down from the lumber camp and wishing Adam was at home. He had just given up the fight to persuade his father to eat and his only consolation was that his father\u2019s injuries were healing well, according to Doc who had been out that day. Hoss cursed softly when he heard the knock on the door, lately every visitor seemed to bring fresh trouble, Easing himself tiredly to his feet Hoss went over to the door and was surprised to see Billy, a twelve year old from town.<\/p>\n Billy held out the telegram \u201cI brought this out Hoss, they reckoned it was urgent.\u201d Hoss tore it open, not even knowing that he was holding his breath, as he took in the contents he gave a great sigh of relief. He felt in his pocket and got out a dollar \u201cThanks Billy. No answer just yet so you get back to town.\u201d As the kid left Hoss went over and poured himself a large brandy and read the telegram again.<\/p>\n Then Hoss headed up to his father. Ben was just lying there staring unseeingly at the ceiling and he didn\u2019t react at all as Hoss came in. Hoss moved swiftly over and gripped his father\u2019s arm \u201cIt\u2019s alright Pa, Little Joe is safe.\u201d<\/p>\n That did get a reaction and Ben looked at his big son studying his face intently seeing the huge relief written all over it Hoss went on \u201cI\u2019ve just had a telegram from Adam, he says Joe is safe with him and will come home with them.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0For a moment Ben just stared at Hoss and then with a broken sob he buried his face in his hands. Hoss went and poured a large brandy and then lifted his father to lean against him. As he eased Ben up and Ben\u2019s hands fell away Hoss saw his father\u2019s face wet with tears for the first time that he could remember. Wordlessly he fed Ben some brandy, just holding his father close to him. Ben had been so worried and tense that just word that his son was safe and broken the dam and he couldn\u2019t stop the tears. Eventually he began to calm down as his son\u2019s presence and the brandy combined to help.<\/p>\n Hoss smiled \u201cPoor kid he musta been mighty upset and confused to go all that way. If\u2019n he couldn\u2019t come right home best thing he coulda done. Adam will sort him out and bring him back. Ain\u2019t no need to worry about Little Joe now Pa. Do you reckon you could manage something to eat now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet me see the telegram Hoss.\u201d Ben read it and then looked up worry clear again on his face \u201cIf Adam hadn\u2019t talked to Joseph, how does he know that his brother will come home?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head as he looked down at his father, \u201cThat\u2019s plain foolish Pa. If Joe had wanted to break away from the family he wouldn\u2019t have gone to Adam. Anyways, whatever you say about little brother, you can rely on Adam\u2019s good sense. He\u2019ll know you didn\u2019t mean what you said even if Joe ain\u2019t in a fit state to know.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pulled himself together \u201cYou\u2019re right Hoss and anyway I guess I can send Adam a telegram now we know where Joe is.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was relieved when his father managed the first smile he had seen in days, rather watery admittedly, but it was there. \u201cDon\u2019t look so worried Hoss. I\u2019ll be okay now we\u2019ve had news.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss handed his father a clean hankie \u201cSure you will Pa.\u201d Then he went downstairs to get Hop Sing to prepare a tray and give his father a chance to get firm control of his emotions. That night both Ben and Hoss slept well for the first time in weeks, secure in their trust in Adam\u2019s ability to sort Little Joe out.<\/p>\n Adam barely slept at all, although he cuddled up next to Carole with their door and Joe\u2019s open, knowing he would hear if his brother woke up. Having spent a fruitless night trying to work out what had gone wrong, Adam gave up and slipped out of bed just before five. He checked his brother but Joe hadn\u2019t stirred and so Adam risked going downstairs to make coffee. He was sitting out on the back porch sipping coffee when Carole joined him, she hadn\u2019t slept well either. Adam pulled her close \u201cI\u2019m sorry if I kept you awake.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t, not really. I\u2019m fond of Joe too.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her soundly \u201cWhen he finally wakes up I\u2019ll try and persuade him to eat something and then see if he\u2019ll talk. He\u2019ll feel better when he gets it off his chest whatever the trouble is.\u201d<\/p>\n Carol snuggled close to him, hearing his solid heart beat against her, proof that everything would be alright. \u201cMy parents will be out all day and I\u2019ll go over to my cousin\u2019s as soon as he wakes up, so you won\u2019t be interrupted.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam kissed her again \u201cI\u2019m very sorry we are being a nuisance but I would be grateful. I\u2019m sorry this interferes with our honey moon my love.\u201d He pulled her slightly away so he could look at her face \u201cBut if Joe had to come all this way to me, he must need my help very badly and I\u2019m glad he came.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled and kissed her husband \u201cDarling I can see from his face just how much he needs you and I have always known how close you and your family are. I know how much you love Joe, maybe better than he does. Of course he had to come if he needs your help.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had always been very grateful for the freedom she gave him to continue to fulfil the obligations to his family and the ranch, bred so deep in him. Now he couldn\u2019t find the words to thank her and just held her very close to him.<\/p>\n It was gone ten when Joe finally opened his eyes and found Adam sitting next to him. Joe felt better for his long sleep and his eyes weren\u2019t quite as bloodshot, the circles under them a little less black. Adam moved over to his brother and sat down on the bed. He smiled down at Joe \u201cI was wondering when you were going to wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat up and stared round slowly taking in where he was, all of it new. Adam patted his shoulder \u201cTake it easy little brother. This is Carole\u2019s parents\u2019 house. I\u2019m going downstairs to fix you some food. I promise I won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded slowly glad for a few minutes on his own as he tried to get his whirling thoughts in order.\u00a0\u00a0He was still sitting there staring around when Adam came back twenty minutes later with a tray. Adam passed the tray to his brother \u201cCome on little brother. You look as though you could do with a square meal. Then we\u2019ll talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit his lip and finally found his voice \u201cI\u2019m so sorry to intrude Adam but I had to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slipped his hand round his brother\u2019s neck and squeezed gently \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it Joe, you are very welcome. If you need my help then of course you had to come brother. But for now you need food.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe lent into his brother for a minute and then drank the coffee gratefully. He tried with the food and ate a little, but after a few minutes he was reduced to pushing the food around on his plate.<\/p>\n Adam had sat silently next to his brother; just drinking coffee but he put his cup down. \u201cIf you have had all you want, I\u2019ll take the tray down.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up begging for his brother\u2019s understanding \u201cI\u2019m just not hungry Adam, but I could do with some more coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gently ruffled his brother\u2019s hair \u201cSure Joe. I\u2019ll go get, you stay put and then we\u2019ll talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam came back up with fresh coffee and pulled a chair up close to his brother\u2019s bed \u201cRight Joe. I think its time you told me what this is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe couldn\u2019t look at his brother he turned slightly away from Adam staring at the wall \u201cI\u2019ve done it all wrong Adam I can\u2019t go back to the ranch.\u201d There was along silence and then Joe said \u201cPa said I\u2019m no longer his son.\u201d His voice broke with a sob and he turned over and buried his face in the pillow, Adam just made out his brother\u2019s statement that he had beaten up their father and then Joe\u2019s voice gave entirely and he broke down. He was sobbing bitterly, the first time he had broken down in his two weeks of hell. Adam was glad to see it; sure that Joe would be much better having released some of the tension so obvious in every line of his brother\u2019s body. It had to happen and Adam sat waiting for Joe\u2019s sobs to ease, just resting his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder to remind Joe that he was there. As he waited Adam\u2019s brain was racing, wondering what on earth had been going on. He couldn\u2019t imagine his father disowning any of his sons, no matter what they had done, even if they committed murder he would have been beside them all the way to the gallows. Neither could Adam imagine Joe raising a hand to their father, none of them had ever done that in their lives. Knowing that only Joe could explain, Adam waited patiently and when Joe\u2019s sobs lessened in force. He got up and went and poured a large brandy and then gently turned his brother back to face him. He wiped Joe\u2019s face and handed him the brandy. Then Adam sat down on the bed and lifted his brother to lean against his shoulder, his arm round Joe\u2019s shoulder. Joe downed the brandy feeling its warmth spread down through his body and he relaxed back against his brother. Adam tightened his grip slightly \u201cJoe you aren\u2019t making any sense. Try and start at the beginning and tell me exactly what happened. I can\u2019t believe Pa would really disown you. Whatever he said he would have reversed it ten minutes later, because he can\u2019t have meant it. It\u2019s against all his principles.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe said bitterly \u201cI never gave him a chance, ten minutes later he was unconscious and I don\u2019t even remember what I did to him. All I remember is one cry of pain. I heard in town that he was found unconscious as I left and they thought he had a broken leg. I don\u2019t even know what else was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed slightly and raised his free arm to push the hair back off his brother\u2019s forehead. \u201cJoe there\u2019s not much use starting at the end. If you want my help you must tell what happened from the beginning. Try and calm down little brother, you\u2019ll feel better when you have told me. Where did it start?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew that his brother was right, he pulled away and got up, going over to the pitcher and poured out some water and washed his face. Then feeling cold Joe retreated back to the bed, very grateful when Adam put his arm back round his shoulders.<\/p>\n For a moment he buried his face against his brother\u2019s broad chest and then sat up a little leaning heavily against Adam. \u201cIt started when I went for a drink having got you to the railway terminus. There was this girl in the saloon, Marie. She\u2019s blonde petite and very lovely. I got talking and I wanted to see her again, so I went back that night, but I didn\u2019t have a chance to talk to her. I told you about the killing over the poker game, well the gambler Harris, who was killed was Marie\u2019s lover and the girls took her off in tears when she realised he was dead.\u201d Joe fell quiet and Adam risked letting go of his brother long enough to pour them both fresh coffees. He had always known that there was more about that evening than Joe had been letting on. Adam didn\u2019t speak just handing his brother the coffee and then settling back on the bed and sliding his arm back round his little brother in mute sympathy. Adam waited patiently leaving Joe to go in is own time and eventually Joe said, \u201cI couldn\u2019t resist going back into the saloon once I\u2019d seen you off. I found out that she\u2019d been run out of town. The man who killed Harris was that cattle buyer Ellsworth, he ordered her out of town because she\u2019d been Harris\u2019 girl. Plenty of men in town would do Ellsworth bidding and he even blocked the girls from hiring a horse. Scared she had walked out of town, planning on cadging a lift the next day. The girl in the saloon, who told me all about it, didn\u2019t even know which direction she was heading, so much as I wanted to help there was nothing I could do.\u201d<\/p>\n There was quiet in the room for a few minutes as Joe closed his eyes and tried to marshal his thoughts. Eventually he went on \u201cFate didn\u2019t mean me to get off so easily. I was only a couple of miles outside town when she came out of the bushes. She\u2019d been scared to ask for a lift but she recognised me from the previous day and decided to risk it. She was cold, tired, scared and very upset.\u201d Joe pulled away from Adam and turned to look at his brother. \u201cAdam I felt so sorry for her she looked so fragile and scared, all I wanted to do was look after her. But she has a real tough shell that she hides behind. Luckily I realised that and I went slowly. I felt like taking her in my arms but all I could do was feed her. She wanted a lift and Virginia City is full of saloons so she said that would be fine, she\u2019d be able to get a job. It\u2019s a long journey and we talked. She had come west as a kid then her mother died and her father dragged her round mining camps until she was fourteen. Then he died, she\u2019s illiterate, can just manage to sign her own name and couldn\u2019t even sow a hem so she had no choice. She had to go into the saloons, it\u2019s not much of a life.\u201d Joe pulled away and lent forward needing to see his brother\u2019s face \u201cAdam I don\u2019t know what she did to me, I\u2019ve never felt like this before. Even that first night I sat by her as she slept and wondered how I was going to explain to Pa. All she would accept from me was help to get a job. I persuaded Don McBride to take her on, if she had to work in a saloon that was the best one.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded understandingly and squeezed Joe\u2019s neck affectionately. To his surprise Joe lent back turning away slightly from his brother \u201cWhen I got home Pa wanted to know how you were and then Hoss arrived and he asked the same questions. Then he brought up some problem at the lumber camp. It wasn\u2019t until I went up to bed that I suddenly realised that I hadn\u2019t mentioned Marie to Pa. I hadn\u2019t set out to deceive him but I guess I was so confused about her I used any excuse to avoid talking. By then it seemed too late to tell him without making a big thing of it so I thought I\u2019d wait for a chance to arise and somehow it never did.\u201d Joe sighed heavily but he couldn\u2019t face his brother knowing what else he had to tell him. Adam waited patiently and eventually Joe went on “I avoided going into town for several days but I couldn\u2019t get her out of my mind, everywhere I looked I saw her. I knew Pa wouldn\u2019t like my getting involved with her and I couldn\u2019t see how an illiterate saloon girl could fit in with the rest of the family. She is so different from Carole, a world apart. I was so confused and irritable took it out on Hoss like always, bit his head off for no reason. Then on Saturday I headed into town with Hoss for the dance. Somehow I never made the dance I spent the whole evening in the Bucket O\u2019Blood just talking to her. She was free during Sunday so I persuaded her to go for a ride with me and decided to stay in town overnight. Like a fool I never even thought of telling Hoss, just took Cochise to the stable. I only had one idea in my mind, one thought, Marie.\u201d He bit his finger \u201cI don\u2019t know Adam. I thought I\u2019d been in love before but this was so different, noone else ever dominated my thoughts and dreams like she does, even now. She filled me with such a strong urge to protect her, take her away from all the squalor of the saloons and let her know some of the good things in life. She has such an aura of innocence. I know she lived with Harris for three years but it doesn\u2019t make any difference. I did fight against falling in love with her because I knew it was gonna cause trouble with Pa, but I couldn\u2019t help myself.\u201d Joe rubbed his hand across his aching eyes \u201cMarie told me that I was living in a fool\u2019s paradise that she could never fit in with the Cartwrights and that I ought to back out before it was too late and we got hurt. I told her then that it was too late, somehow it always had been since I saw her walk down those stairs in the saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was surprised as he felt his brother tense against him. Joe found it hard to go on but one thing Adam had said stuck, he had to talk, get it off his chest. He forced himself to go on staring away from Adam \u201cAnyway when I got home from town on Sunday, Hoss had been in town looking for me and learnt about Marie. Pa threw it in my face as soon as I walked in and I was furious, because they\u2019d been checking up on me and also I guess because I knew I was in the wrong. I blew up and went upstairs but I was hungry. I came down for food and Hoss kept the peace until after the meal and then Pa told me to grow up.\u201d Joe shrugged \u201cI don\u2019t even know why, but it was the last straw and I lost my temper. I don\u2019t know why I did it Adam. I was sorta standing outside myself watching and not liking what I saw but I couldn\u2019t stop it. I turned on Pa told him to stop treating me like a child. I pointed out that I hadn\u2019t set out to deceive him but he\u2019d only been interested in you and that it was always the same. He never questioned you, everything you did was right, that I thought you were the only son he cared about and I was surprised he had even noticed I wasn\u2019t there. I don\u2019t know why I said it Adam. I saw Pa sink white faced and stunned into a chair and I ran upstairs again before I made matters even worse. The picture of him sitting there so hurt and shocked has haunted me all the way here.\u201d Joe broke off and buried his face in his hands, unable to face his brother. Adam reached out for the brandy and poured one and expertly fed it to his little brother. Joe risked a look at his brother and what he saw reassured him; there was just compassion on Adam\u2019s face, no withdrawal. Joe swallowed hard \u201cI didn\u2019t mean it Adam so why the hell did I say it. I was just lashing out wanting to hurt and I didn\u2019t like myself at all. I know Pa loves each of us equally.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled gently, thinking of all the times his father had cross questioned him and driven him into a fury when his little brother seemed to get away with murder, but now didn\u2019t seem the time to bring that up, so he reached for another memory. \u201cEasy little brother. Remember how Hoss lashed out at me when we had to show him that that woman was a gambler? We said then that something had to give. Hoss resorts to physical release of tension, you lashed out verbally. It doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe finally allowed himself to meet his brother\u2019s gaze and relaxed a little at the warm affection and understanding that he saw there. Adam poured them both fresh coffee and for a while the brothers sat in silence with Adam allowing Joe to take his time. Eventually Joe went on \u201cThat was the start of tension between me and Pa. I did apologise the next day but I couldn\u2019t talk to him about Marie. Then he had to go to Sacramento. He was gone a week and every night I made it into town I just had to see her. At the end of that week I was sure whatever trouble it caused I wanted to marry her. Things drifted on for another two weeks and I sorta had Marie\u2019s agreement to marry me, provided my family agreed. Hoss was taking the horses south to the army and I decided to talk to Pa that evening when we wouldn\u2019t be interrupted. I thought I could convince him that this was right for me, make him see that I loved her and that when I was with her I never thought of her as an illiterate saloon girl. Show him that she was different and that given a chance she could become a daughter-in-law he could be proud of. I was sure I could convince him and when he knew just how much I loved her, he\u2019d be glad for me, and withdraw his opposition. But somehow it didn\u2019t work out like that.\u201d Joe\u2019s voice faded away as he visualised that final scene with his father. Adam gave him a moment but sensed that his brother was quite oblivious of his presence. He gripped his brother\u2019s arm \u201cLittle Joe it won\u2019t haunt you when you have told me about it. You\u2019ve got to get it off your chest.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded but he rolled away from his brother unable to look at him and his voice was so low that Adam had to strain to hear.\u00a0\u00a0Adam just gripped his brother\u2019s shoulder firmly and waited. Slowly Joe told him exactly what had passed between him and their father culminating in Ben\u2019s statement that if he went out of the door he was no longer a son of his and his own answer \u201cDon\u2019t bother to write.\u201d Joe swallowed hard \u201cPa put his hand on my arm and said \u201cJoseph” and I remember brushing him aside but that\u2019s all I remember, I don\u2019t know what I did to him I heard him cry out but I thought it was just anger and I rode out. It wasn\u2019t until much later that I realised it was a cry of pain I rode out on him when he was hurt, even worse than that I hurt him I don\u2019t remember, I don\u2019t even know how bad it was. I didn\u2019t mean it but it happened. Story of my life I never think things through end up hurting everyone.\u201d Joe fell silent but Adam somehow knew that his brother hadn\u2019t finished yet. Adam contented himself with gently rubbing Joe\u2019s back as he had when his brother was a child and felt him relax slightly. Joe went on eventually \u201cI headed in to town to persuade Marie to come away with me, go north, maybe Canada and build a life for ourselves. She could see that there had been trouble and I told her that she didn\u2019t need to worry about my family anymore, it was just me, She\u2019d always been scared of you, my clever brother, she could never fit in with that. She just sat for a while and then she said she wasn\u2019t marrying me. I should go home to my father.\u201d The bitterness was very evident in his voice as Joe went on It was one thing to marry Joe Cartwright of the Ponderosa but plain Joe Cartwright, thirty a month cowboy without even a job, was no catch. She wasn\u2019t interested, I should go home.\u201d Joe buried his face in his hands \u201cI couldn\u2019t go home Adam I couldn\u2019t face Pa and tell him he\u2019d been right, that all she wanted was my money. I wanted to get away to have time to think. Mr Harris was working late so I went over to persuade him to let me have my personal cash. As I went out two men Pa fired for setting traps stopped me and congratulated me on breaking away from Pa. They had heard how I\u2019d beaten Pa up, even breaking his leg. Hop Sing has found him unconscious on the floor as I rode out. I saw Doc with Red in our buggy. That was the last straw I got my money and fled. Eventually I made a fire and sat by it. I couldn\u2019t think straight but suddenly as I tried to face the idea of life away from the Ponderosa, I realised how you must have felt when you left for England. I knew then that I had to come and see you. I had to talk to someone and you would understand, so I came here.\u201d Joe sighed closing his eyes \u201cI think that\u2019s everything.\u201d With that he buried his head in the pillow and wouldn\u2019t look at his brother.<\/p>\n Adam resumed his gentle rubbing on Joe\u2019s back and slowly felt his brother relax a little under his hand. He no longer wondered at the state Joe was in, when he arrived. Adam could imagine the two weeks his brother had spent after all those knocks in one evening. Adam didn\u2019t speak wanting time to think to find out how best to help his brother. Slowly Joe got a grip on himself feeling somewhat better for telling his brother everything, without Adam withdrawing from him. After a few minutes he sat up and faced Adam \u201cI don\u2019t know what I expected you to do Adam but I had to talk and you were the only person I could face talking to.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gripped his neck gently \u201cI don\u2019t really know how to help Joe, except that I\u2019ll guarantee Pa is feeling as bad as you are, and that he wants you home. If you can think straight for few minutes, you will know that as well as I do. I\u2019ll clear up any trouble with Pa but I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll need to. When you get home he\u2019ll welcome you with open arms, no questions asked.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe looked up at that his eyes burning intense \u201cDo you really believe that Adam? I want to go home so much, even though I hurt him?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled at his brother \u201cI\u2019m very sure Joe. You know Pa as well as I do. He loves you far too much to want you to go, whatever you\u2019ve done. Unless I miss my guess you didn\u2019t hurt him anyway, I\u2019d guess he was already hurt and that\u2019s why he flew off the handle. I know he has a temper and says things in it that he doesn\u2019t mean, just like all of us, but to go as far as he did, there had to be a reason. Maybe pain and weakness combined with temper would explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up with dawning hope \u201cYou really think that Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe you don\u2019t remember doing anything and none of us have ever lifted a hand against Pa. I just can\u2019t imagine it. Even if you did, he\u2019s far bigger than you are, just how could you have broken his leg? You\u2019ll come home with us in four days time.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t answer thinking what his brother had said, he was very used to trusting Adam to read the truth out of a situation and he just prayed that Adam was right this time too.<\/p>\n Adam decided that it was time for a break, Joe had had all he could take for the moment. He grinned at his brother \u201cThat\u2019s quite a beard Joe but I don\u2019t think it really suits you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe rubbed his hand over it \u201cIt itches somewhat I must admit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d better borrow my razor, but make sure you sharpen it when you have finished. He gestured over to the chair in the corner \u201cI bought you some clothes yesterday you have caused quite enough comment wandering around New England with a gun on your hip!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe suddenly grinned, for the first time in weeks, \u201cI never thought of that. No wonder I got such odd looks on the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned back \u201cI hear they were terrified and are now busily dining out on the story! I\u2019ll go and cook up a couple of steaks for lunch. Join me in the kitchen, at the back on the ground floor, when you\u2019re ready. Joe nodded and Adam went out, collected his shaving gear and some hot water and passed them over to his brother.<\/p>\n Joe sat on the bed looking at the clothes his brother had bought. Adam hadn\u2019t said a lot but Joe believed in his promise to clear things up with their father and he began to relax a little maybe he hadn\u2019t hurt his father after all. Either way he felt very much better for talking and for his brother\u2019s support, for the first time in weeks he felt as though he hadn\u2019t irrevocably ruined his life that night. After a while Joe realised he was getting cold and he got up and began to shave. It took quite a while to get rid of the fortnights growth but Joe felt more himself once it was done.<\/p>\n Adam had food ready when his brother joined him. Joe looked more like himself, but he was still gaunt and tired. Adam passed Joe a steak with all the trimmings, about the only thing he could cook as his brothers had often told him. Joe, having talked things out as far as he had, finally felt hungry and set to with a will. Adam sat opposite eating his own \u201cDid you eat anything on the way here Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t really remember, the odd sandwich and countless cups of coffee I think. I couldn\u2019t face food.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and sighed \u201cNo wonder you look like a skeleton, short of sleep too I\u2019d guess. Still four days of good food and rest and we will have you back to normal.\u201d Joe slid back into his thoughts as he sat back with coffee and Adam left him alone while he tidied up.<\/p>\n Joe sat up suddenly, \u201cWhere\u2019s Carole?\u201d \u201cI owe her an apology.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou did nothing but apologise when you got here. Carole said she was very fond of you and if you thought I could help you, then you had every right to come.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded; not really surprised he had come to know Carole very well as she nursed him earlier in the summer. He knew just how generous she was, but even so he would get her alone and tell her how grateful he was. \u201cAll the same, do you think her cousin would let a wild westerner in, if he left off his gun? It strikes me I\u2019d better do something to re-establish the Cartwright reputation in this town. After all you\u2019re the only one they have seen so far.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned broadly, at least his little brother was recovered enough to be cheeky. He could still see the pain in Joe\u2019s eyes but at least Joe was now wearing a mask to hide the naked pain, which had been on his face when he first arrived. \u201cIf you are sure you feel up to it, I\u2019ll risk my reputation by introducing my young brother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLead on.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam would have preferred Joe to get some more rest, but it Joe felt up to being sociable, then it would be better than sitting around brooding.<\/p>\n Carole had found several people at her cousin\u2019s and the one topic of discussion before her arrival had been the wild westerner. They avoided it when she first arrived but after a while curiosity overcame them and one of her old friends risked a question \u201cWho was he?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole explained that it was her youngest brother-in-law. There had been some trouble and he had had to come and see his brother. It had all been rather a rush and he hadn\u2019t had time to pack more suitable clothes. That was the way they dressed in Nevada and he\u2019d had so much on his mind he\u2019d forgotten to take his gun off. He was so used to wearing it, but he really was quite harmless. Carole found herself having to answer lots of questions, which gradually became broader, about Nevada itself. She was quite glad when it got to lunchtime and the questions eased slightly while they ate.<\/p>\n Soon after they had finished lunch her cousin went to answer the door and brought Adam and Joe in. Carole was surprised to see Little Joe and she thought he still looked ill but the clothes Adam had bought were very smart. Joe was unrecognisable as the bearded dishevelled young man who had arrived on the stage yesterday. Joe went straight over to Carole and gave her a kiss on the cheek \u201cI\u2019m sorry to intrude on your honeymoon Carole, but I\u2019m glad I came.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole linked arms with him \u201cYou\u2019re welcome Joe, I\u2019m glad to see you looking better, a beard doesn\u2019t suit you. Come on I\u2019d like to introduce you to some of my friends. Little Joe exerted himself to make a good impression and after a while Carole gravitated to her husband \u201cHe looks a lot more cheerful than yesterday but he still looks ill.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll explain later my love, it\u2019s mainly lack of food and sleep. He\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n They stayed for about an hour and then Adam decided his little brother was beginning to look drawn and had had enough so he signalled Carole and they made their excuses and went home. Joe looked exhausted and when his brother suggested he have a doze, Joe could only agree. It was a very attractive idea. Adam promised to call him for supper.<\/p>\n As Joe went upstairs, Adam and Carole went out on the back porch and he filled her in on what Joe had told him. He didn\u2019t give any details but told her enough for her to realise why Joe was so upset. When he had finished she said \u201cAre you sure you can clear thing up with your father, if Joe really hurt him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure and anyway I told Joe I don\u2019t believe he did hurt Pa, it\u2019s the only thing he can\u2019t remember, all he does remember is pushing Pa away, the rest of it seems burnt into his brain. I think Pa was already hurt and that\u2019s why he went of the deep end, it really isn\u2019t like him. Anyway, whatever happened, I am sure Pa will welcome Joe home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoor Joe hit from all sides, will he be okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s a lot better just from talking it out, not that I can do much except be around when he wants to talk. Once he\u2019s caught up on food and sleep, he\u2019ll be better able to cope.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam woke Joe for dinner and Joe roused enough to be polite to Carole\u2019s parents but otherwise he didn\u2019t want to talk. Joe excused himself he just wanted to stretch his legs and have a walk after all the travelling. Adam and Carole were joining her parents at a concert and when he was satisfied that his brother would be alright on his own, Adam went along. In fact he heard virtually nothing of the concert and Carole was well aware that he might as well have stayed with Joe as he was thinking over what Joe had said. Adam was still trying to think out how best to help. He felt he should be able to do more than just be there if Joe wanted to talk, but apart from making sure Joe ate properly and got some rest there was nothing. Adam was very sure that once he had Joe back on the Ponderosa, with things sorted with their father, his brother would be much better. At the end of the concert Adam roused himself to be sociable but he was hard pressed to discuss the concert, he hadn\u2019t even taken in what was being performed and he had to look to Carole for help.<\/p>\n Eventually they went home, it was past midnight and Adam was exhausted, still low on stamina, but even so he headed straight to check on his brother. Joe was fast asleep and Adam was able to retreat to his own bed and this time get some sleep himself.<\/p>\n Adam was awake very early the next morning and he tried to keep still and not disturb Carole but she heard the difference in his breathing and, awake herself, she nestled closer to him, her head on his shoulder \u201cAre you worried about Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed, \u201cOf course I am. I\u2019ve never seen him so deeply affected. Sure I can clear up the trouble with Pa, heck he doesn\u2019t even need me for that, but I can\u2019t do anything about the girl. He\u2019s got to cope with that on his own. He still loves her very deeply. I think it\u2019s the first time anyone has really got to my little brother. I\u2019ve seen Joe often enough when he thought he was in love, but not like this. From his own account he\u2019s never been hit this hard. In time he\u2019ll pull out of it, he\u2019s got too much pride not to, but it\u2019ll take time,\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about her. Do you think your father was right and she was just after Joe for money?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged, \u201cSeems like it. I told you what she said to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou may be right. But there\u2019s a completely different way of looking at it. I couldn\u2019t get to sleep last night and I tried putting myself in her place. If it had been you coming to me, disowned and planning to leave the Ponderosa for good. What would I have done? I love you very much you know that and I know you well enough to know that you would never be really happy away from your family and the Ponderosa. If I was an illiterate saloon girl, who was very much in love, I might have found the strength to say go back home. I won\u2019t marry you and throw the rest in to convince you. I\u2019m not saying I\u2019m right but Joe has a very expressive face, and I can imagine how he must have looked after that row. She must have known he wouldn\u2019t be happy until he\u2019d made his peace.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked down at Carole \u201cYou make a convincing case my love. I\u2019d never thought of it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole kissed him \u201cI just can\u2019t imagine Joe falling that deeply for someone who wasn\u2019t sincere. I know it happens, but Joe\u2019s no fool, and if all she wanted was his money she went a very strange way about it. I would have expected her to marry him and present your father with a fait accompli.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded \u201cHe was already offering marriage and I would have thought our reputation in town would have entitled her to assume Pa would give in rapidly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0Adam pulled her close as he thought out what she had said and eventually he relaxed \u201cThe only way to find out for certain is to talk to her. If she\u2019s still there I\u2019ll see her and if you prove to be right I\u2019ll do all I can to help them get married; because if you\u2019re right she may well be the right girl for Joe. But until we get home I don\u2019t think we ought to say anything to Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole snuggled up close to him again and changed the subject, talking over their plans for the remaining few days before their honeymoon came to an end.<\/p>\n Back at the Ponderosa Hoss had tried to send a telegram back to Adam from Ben just saying that he would be pleased to see them all home, but unfortunately he found the telegraph lines were down somewhere on the plains and he couldn\u2019t get it through. They were avoiding saying anything much in town or in telegrams, there were already far too many rumours flying around. Ben had always disliked the idea of having his personal family affairs a matter of general discussion, but there was nothing he could do about it. Ben was still very concerned about Joe, hating being on bad terms with any of his sons, but now he knew Adam was with his brother, he managed to pull himself out of his lethargy. He suddenly realised just how much he had left Hoss to cope with and he insisted that Doc let him up in the wheelchair so he could take over the detail of running the ranch. Hoss was very grateful to get help but mainly he was glad to see his father looking more like himself again.<\/p>\n Hoss had found the last two weeks more trying than he would have believed possible. He had had to deal with the detailed running of the ranch, which even with things going smoothly was a big job for one man. On top of that he\u2019d had the ever-present worry about his father and younger brother which had kept him awake at nights. Now Ben was back downstairs and running the paperwork, Hoss had to take a ride round the ranch to check on various operations. He explained to his father, almost apologetically, that he would have to be away at least two days. Ben looked up at his big son, noticing for the first time the marks of worry and tiredness on Hoss\u2019 face. He put out his hand and gripped Hoss\u2019 arm \u201cThe last couple of weeks have been very hard on you Hoss and I know I haven\u2019t made it any easier, but I\u2019m okay now. I know that Adam will look after Joe for us and I\u2019m much fitter. I can cope here. You take your time Hoss, you\u2019ve earned some fresh air. Then you can get back for a couple of days before you have to go out with the trail herd.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss hadn\u2019t dared even think about the herd. Jos\u00e9 was doing a great job on the roundup and had the trail branding half-complete. But it was one thing to leave the job to him here on the Ponderosa, which he knew so well and where help was forthcoming if it was needed; quite another to ask him to head the trail drive on its 300 mile trek. Hoss had known he ought to go along but hadn\u2019t known whether he dared leave his father for that long. Now he looked at Ben \u201cWill you be alright if I go with the herd Pa? It\u2019ll be at least a three week job and you\u2019ll be on your own until Adam gets\u00a0home.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be fine Hoss. Hop Sing will look after me and we still have contracts to meet.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss admitted the necessity but he was still very dubious. Ben shook him gently \u201cI\u2019m alright now Hoss. I admit I\u2019ve needed you around this last couple of weeks but now I\u2019m fine and I won\u2019t sink back into despair I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0Hoss grinned down at his father \u201cSure Pa you\u2019ll be fine now. Anyway I must go up to the lumber camp. We\u2019ll discuss it again when I get back, see how you feel then.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss rode up towards the lumber camp soon after, having collected some food from Hop Sing to take along. Hoss decided to treat himself to a break at the Lake before he headed up to the camp. He was very tired but there were a thousand and one things which needed doing and nobody else to do them. Hoss tied Chub up and then walked up to the point. One of the last times he had been there was with Adam, the night before his brother\u2019s wedding. Hoss sat down overlooking the lake and thought about his elder brother. It was almighty quiet with both his brothers away and he would be very glad when they got back. He thought of all the times that Adam had carried the ranch alone, sometimes when they were in trouble as in the spring and mentally saluted his father and brother for the way they did a job he found just about beyond him. He missed Adam, sometimes he had wanted to ask his brother\u2019s advice more urgently than he could ever remember, but he couldn\u2019t disturb his brother on his long awaited honeymoon. After half an hour just sitting staring out over the Lake Hoss had to make a real effort to pull himself back to the present and head on to the lumber camp.<\/p>\n Despite Ben\u2019s comments Hoss didn\u2019t want to be away longer than absolutely necessary but he had to pay the men at the camp and the sawmill and over at the mine as well as collecting details of how the work was progressing. He was aiming to get back the following afternoon, but in order to do it he had to complete his business both at the lumber camp and the sawmill that day. It was already late in the afternoon when Hoss rode into the lumber camp. Johnny, who had run the camp when Hoss was injured earlier in the year, came over pleased to see him. Rumours had reached all the hands and he asked how Ben was and whether they had heard from Joe. Hoss smiled. \u201cPa\u2019s recovering well and Joe\u2019s nearly finished his business back East. He\u2019ll be travelling back with Adam and Carole.\u201d<\/p>\n That statement was received with some surprise. Ben\u2019s talk of business taking Joe away had been taken for what it was, pure cover up, but Hoss was glad to see that his statement had half convinced Johnny that the rumours were nonsense; just as Hoss had hoped. Hoss knew that what he said would quickly pass round and hoped, that when Joe did return with Adam, their talk of business would finally be accepted. Hoss got himself a plate of food and some coffee and then got down to the details of work and paid off the men. It was nearly ten p.m. before he finished but he wouldn\u2019t stay, heading onto the sawmill.<\/p>\n At the sawmill Hoss had to pull Jack Catfish out of his bed and Jack wasn\u2019t any too pleased. However when he looked at Hoss, he could see how desperately tired his friend was, so he swallowed his anger and went and stoked up the fire to heat up coffee. Hoss sat down grateful for the warm drink. It was only just October but he felt the snow in the air, It would soon be falling on the high peaks of the Sierra Nevada. As he sipped the strong black coffee he apologised for disturbing Jack but explained that he still had to go to the mines and didn\u2019t want to leave his father alone for too long. Jack yawned widely \u201cIts alright Hoss by the look of you I\u2019ve done rather better for sleep lately than you have.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss caught the yawn and rubbed his eyes \u201cI must admit I\u2019ll be heartily grateful when Adam and Joe get back from New York, with Pa laid up, its hard work on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n Jack looked questioningly at Hoss \u201cI knew Adam was back East with his wife, but why is Joe there?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss yawned again \u201cYou know Pa went East on business in the spring. Well some problems came up and with Adam away Pa couldn\u2019t go, so he sent Joe. He wouldn\u2019t disturb Adam on his honeymoon, but he wasn\u2019t reckoning on falling off Buck and breaking his leg. By then it was too late to contact Joe. Still they should be home in a week.\u201d Then having done his best to still the rumours, Hoss turned to business. Jack was well organised and it only took Hoss an hour to get all the information he needed and to make up the pay packets and leave them with Jack. Jack was disgusted when he heard that Hoss proposed to ride up to the mine camp, there and then without stopping for a sleep.<\/p>\n Hoss said, \u201cThe moon\u2019s up and I know the trail well.\u201d<\/p>\n Jack shook his head \u201cI know you wanna get home to your Pa but you look exhausted now Hoss. You\u2019ll be no good to anyone, if you don\u2019t get some sleep.\u201d Hoss was adamant, dawn came late and he could be at the camp before the moon went down and he\u2019d get some sleep then. Any of his family would have told Jack that when Hoss looked like that Jack would be wasting his breath to try and argue, but Jack did try. In the end Hoss stood up and clapped his old friend on the shoulder \u201cI know you mean well Jack but I gotta go I\u2019ll see you in a few weeks.\u201d With that he left.<\/p>\n In fact Hoss was very tired and the ride took him longer than he expected. The moon went down when he was still three miles from the mine. Hoss knew the terrain, better than anyone, but it was rough in the pitch dark before sunrise and he wouldn\u2019t risk his horse. Hoss pulled up, unsaddled and, wrapping himself in a blanket, was asleep almost instantly, Hoss had told himself to awake at first light and despite his tiredness he awoke at sunrise only an hour and a half after he had flaked out. He grabbed a drink and washed his face. Having watered Chub, he resaddled and wearily set out on the last stretch to the mine,<\/p>\n The miners were just making breakfast when he rode in and quickly put on more for Hoss. He grabbed coffee and went to sit by the fire. The foreman Swann came over \u201cWe were expecting you today but not this early.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss yawned \u201cI camped on the trail, we are rather busy at the moment.\u201d He sipped his coffee and forced down some food, too tired to really be hungry and then turned the conversation to work. After getting the details he needed for calculating bonuses, Hoss went with Swann to inspect the small loading flume which had been causing trouble, jamming intermittently. Hoss watched one load down and then he spotted what he thought was causing the trouble, a half-sprung plank. He waited until the load had gone down and then reached out to see what needed doing, not realising another load was following down immediately. Swann yelled a warning to Hoss but he was very tired and slow to react. He had his fingers under the planck and couldn\u2019t get his hand out in time. He eventually managed to pull his right hand free and sank to his knees, holding his hand to him. Blood was dripping off it in a steady stream and Swann ran over to the hut and got some bandages, ordering one of the men to put water onto boil. Hoss had pulled himself back to his feet and holding his hand to him he came over to the hut, shaking his head as Swann offered to help \u201cNo I\u2019m okay.\u201d He sat down grabbed a bandage and tried to clear the blood so that he could see the damage. Hoss was getting nowhere left-handed and Swann took his hand \u201cFor goodness sake let me have a look Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n The blood was mainly coming from badly grazed knuckles but there was one deeper cut on his wrist. Swann put pressure on the cut and then asked, \u201cCan you move your fingers Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss moved them in turn although the third one made him wince and insisted \u201cNo real harm done.\u201d Swann felt his hand gently used to dealing with accidents after years in the mines \u201cSeems okay Hoss but I think you may have broken one of those small bones and you\u2019ve certainly broken your third finger. It\u2019s gonna be very bruised, you\u2019d better see the Doc.\u201d Hoss nodded \u201cHave you got any whisky?\u201d<\/p>\n Swann shook his head \u201cNo we are due to get stores tomorrow. You\u2019d better wash it in hot water Hoss, it\u2019s the best we can do for now.\u201d Hoss nodded and let Swann wash his hand off and bandage it. It was throbbing madly but he put it to the back of his mind and concentrated on finishing his business, Later in the morning with business finished Hoss was ready to head home. Swann said \u201cSure hope your hand will be okay I\u2019m not sure I\u2019ve got those bones right, you ought to see Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded \u201cI will soon as I get a chance.\u201d He hauled himself into the saddle and tucked his hand into his jacket for support. His hand was throbbing furiously and, in some peculiar way, it seemed to go right through his body. His head was pounding and his eyes burning with lack of sleep. It seemed to take a long time to get home but he still had one more stop to make at Adam\u2019s house.<\/p>\n Work on the house had progressed well; Philip had loaned them two expert carpenters from the Ophir to work with their own men. The drainage and foundations had been done and they were working on the main structure. Hoss went to see how they were getting on and to ensure they were following his brother\u2019s plans. The men were working on the roof as Hoss approached and he pulled up and watched them. Even though only the shell of the house was up but Hoss could already see the difference between this and the rococo mansions being put up in town. Adam had an instinctive feel for line and he hated the ornate, preferring simplicity with good line to give the elegance that he was looking for. This showed up best in his first love, architecture, and after a chance to see some of the glories of Europe, he had put his best efforts into this house. Hoss sat watching the men on the roof and he couldn’t help thinking of the time Adam was doing just such a job on his house and took that terrible fall. Hoss was missing his brothers, with his father so withdrawn and all the work on his shoulders, he had sometimes wanted to talk to Adam and get advice more than he could ever remember. Hoss was grateful to get down and have coffee with the workmen. He felt terrible but none of the men knew him well enough to comment and kept the discussion to work. Adam\u2019s plans were so detailed and explicit that they had no trouble following them and were confident that the shell would be completed in another week. Jack Catfish had already provided all the lumber they needed from the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n Hoss headed on home and gave himself a quarter of an hour and a large brandy before he went to see his father. The brandy had given him a bit of colour back but his eyes were overly bright. Ben looked at his big son as he came in and immediately noticed his bandaged hand and the glitter in his eyes, which indicated a severe headache. Anxiously Ben asked \u201cWhat have you been up to Hoss, how did you hurt your hand?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss managed a grin, but it didn\u2019t fool either of them \u201cIts only grazed and bruised Pa. I caught it on the rocks up at the mine, just a mite sore.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben considered his son carefully but couldn\u2019t see any other injuries \u201cYou look exhausted Hoss. Why don\u2019t you go and have a bath before dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you okay Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine Son but I have these accounts to finish. We\u2019ll talk after dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was grateful to go and soak in a hot bath. He kept the bandage on his hand not wanting to start his hand bleeding again but at least the hot water soaked some of the tension out of his body and eased his headache. That evening Hoss relaxed, he had good reports on all their operations. Ben thought his big son looked tired and sore but as Hoss wouldn\u2019t talk he contented himself with ensuring that his son had an early night.<\/p>\n Carole and her mother had arranged a large farewell party for the night before the newly weds were returning home. Carole had spent quite a lot of time working with her mother on the preparations, enjoying her mother\u2019s company; they had always been very close. At least she didn\u2019t have to worry about leaving Adam to his own devices, as she knew he wanted time to spend with his brother.<\/p>\n Little Joe was much better now that he had someone to talk to and in company he managed a fairly efficient mask but there was very little Adam could really do, except promise to clear thing up with their father. The telegraph was still down so they couldn\u2019t even contact Virginia City. On his own Joe was still brooding and he wasn\u2019t sleeping well but, under his brother\u2019s eagle eye, he was at least eating properly and he didn\u2019t look nearly as gaunt as he had when he arrived. It was the early hours of the morning that Joe found the hardest. Unable to sleep he saw again his father\u2019s hurt face and Marie\u2019s cold withdrawn one. Several nights he spent hours staring out of the window at nothing, until he was so tired that his eyes would no longer stay open. Twice Adam had heard his brother pacing around and gone into him but Joe felt guilty about disturbing his brother. Not only was Adam now married but his brother, although far better, still had some way to go to rebuild his stamina and Joe could see his tiredness. Joe had asked his brother to leave him alone and Adam did as he was asked for the next three days but he lay awake listening to his brother pacing up and down. Adam couldn\u2019t think how best to help Joe and he couldn\u2019t sleep for worrying. Adam was still very aware of the pain in his brother\u2019s eyes, Joe might be able to wear a convincing mask for strangers, but he couldn\u2019t hide the pain and confusion from the brother who had helped to bring him up. Despite Adam\u2019s promise Joe was dreading facing his father again. He prayed that Adam was right and he hadn\u2019t hurt his father but he couldn\u2019t be sure he had been so angry, maybe angrier than he had ever been in his life. Then there was Marie; Joe still couldn\u2019t get her out of his mind.<\/p>\n That last night, Carole\u2019s parents had virtually every relative and friend round for the farewell party and Adam and Carole were soon separated. After a couple of hours Adam realised that he hadn\u2019t seen his brother for a while and he managed to find his wife \u201cHave you seen Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe went upstairs about quarter of an hour ago, a number of the girls have already missed him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll pop up and make sure he\u2019s okay. I won\u2019t be long.\u201d Carole nodded and Adam slipped upstairs. He found his brother sitting staring out of the window in his room. He turned as Adam came in \u201cYou should be downstairs, this party is for you and Carole.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe but I wondered where you were, as are half the young ladies in this town.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned back to the window \u201cI couldn\u2019t stick it any longer. I didn\u2019t feel much like socialising and they are so bigoted.\u201d Adam knew exactly what his brother meant. The main subject of discussion for the last two days had been the return of one of the girls who had grown up in the town and then had been working on the stage in New York. The women were the most obvious, cutting her dead but the men in a way were worse. They assumed an actress was the same as a prostitute and treated her accordingly. The brothers had both been sickened by it, she seemed a pleasant girl and they had grown up in a much less rigid structure where saloon girls became mansion owners, by marriage or by playing the stock market. Their father had always taught them the importance of judging people by their acts and not their position and that every person deserved a second chance. It had made his behaviour over Marie doubly inexplicable and Adam was well aware that it was thoughts of Marie, which made Joe so sensitive to their behaviour.<\/p>\n Adam gripped his brother\u2019s shoulder in mute sympathy \u201cI know what you mean Joe but we will be leaving tomorrow. If you could face them again for a while I\u2019d be grateful. I don\u2019t want to let Carole\u2019s parents down. They have to live here and I\u2019d hate to feel they had to apologise for us.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe could understand his brother\u2019s point of view \u201cAlright Adam give me a few minutes and I promise I\u2019ll come back down.\u201d Adam squeezed his brother\u2019s neck affectionately \u201cThanks little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe kept his word and managed to hide his contempt for some of these people. Somehow he found it far easier, when after hearing a very bitchy comment from one of Carole\u2019s cousins, he turned away to hide the expression of disgust on his face to find it mirrored exactly on Carole\u2019s. She came over and linked arms with him \u201cThat\u2019s one reason I came back west. I had never noticed how narrow we were until I went to San Francisco. When I came back I couldn\u2019t help but see it and I was continually in trouble for arguing\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned down at her \u201cYou always do me good Carole, now where are the fruits of all your labours in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled affectionately at him and led him to the food. Adam stood watching his wife and his brother and thanked his lucky stars that they had grown fond of each other and got on so well.<\/p>\n As the party finished around 2 a.m. Adam and Joe were sent upstairs out of the way while Carole and her mother cleared the worst of the mess. Little Joe had been getting cold feet about facing his father and, as they went upstairs, he dropped his bombshell \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019ll come back with you Adam. I think I\u2019ll stay in New York for a while. I\u2019ve never been there and having come so far it seems a pity to miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at Joe but his brother wouldn\u2019t meet his eye. Adam followed Joe into his room and sank down on the bed. Adam was very tired and wasn\u2019t really in the mood to cope with Joe with the patience he knew he needed He sighed heavily, \u201cAlright Joe what\u2019s this about? I know we should have heard from pa but I wasn\u2019t fooling when I said the line was down. I checked today, its still down.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned to the window \u201cIt\u2019s not just that Adam, though I wish we\u2019d heard.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell what is this nonsense about, if you\u2019re worried you can stay in Reno until I\u2019ve seen Pa.\u201d he spoke sharply, too tired to hide his impatience. Little Joe knew he was being a nuisance to his brother and didn\u2019t want to intrude on him and Carole anymore. Now he\u2019d caught up on food and some sleep, he felt capable of standing on his own again and he couldn\u2019t face being an unwanted third on the long train journey west. Joe looked at his brother as Adam snapped at him and saw just how tired he was. He went over to Adam \u201cGo to bed big brother. I\u2019ll be coming with you at least as far as New York so we\u2019ll have plenty of time to talk later.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was too tired to argue, he\u2019d spent too many hours worrying about his brother rather than sleeping and now with Joe springing this on him he had tensed up. The pain in his back and stomach had returned full force and he was finding it hard to sit straight. He was not as free from nagging pain as he would have liked or led his wife and brother to believe. Now he found it took all his energy to walk into the next room and get into bed, but, tired as he was, he couldn\u2019t sleep. Carole came up to find him lying awake and as she slid in next to him she could feel the tension in his body. She curled up by him trying to get him to relax and succeeded in part, but long after she\u2019d gone to sleep, Adam lay awake. He wanted to see his father and big brother and to ride the wide-open spaces of the Ponderosa so badly he could almost taste it.<\/p>\n They had to be up early the following morning as the stage left at nine and they all showed signs of lack of sleep. Carole said goodbye to her parents and both her and her mother were in tears, not knowing when they would see each other again. Adam could only put his arm round his wife and hold her close until she calmed down. At least there were only two other passengers, an elderly couple heading for Boston.<\/p>\n After a while Carole brightened up a bit and dried her eyes and began to chat about events over the last weeks. Adam\u2019s replies were becoming more and more forced until after an hour Joe asked, \u201cDo you want me to get the driver to stop Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head \u201cI\u2019m okay don\u2019t fuss.\u201d But he was white, even to his lips as the lack of sleep and the motion of the coach caught up with him. Carole was very worried and explained to the other couple that her husband had been badly injured a few months earlier and travel still upset him. Joe persuaded his brother to lean back against him and the warmth of his brother\u2019s body helped a little and Adam managed to doze for a while. Then he sat up staring out of the window fighting nausea successfully. At length they stopped for lunch and Adam immediately walked off into the trees.<\/p>\n Joe helped Carole down \u201cGo and get some food I\u2019ll look after him.\u201d Carole nodded and left Joe to follow his brother into the trees. Joe found Adam sitting on a log, his head in his hands, he had been very sick and he felt rotten. Joe had collected some water and he passed it to his brother. Adam rinsed his mouth out and then risked a few sips. Joe passed over a brandy flask that he had brought as a precaution having seen rather more than his brother intended the previous night. Adam sipped a little and Joe just let his brother take his time. Eventually Adam said, \u201cLet\u2019s go rejoin Carole.\u201d Joe helped his brother to his feet, glad to see he had a little colour back in his face \u201cAre you going to be okay Adam? It\u2019s still a long way to Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll make out.\u201d<\/p>\n It was late when they reached Boston. Adam hadn\u2019t spoken for the last two hours and he felt weak and ill, but at least he hadn\u2019t been sick again. Joe lifted their luggage down and then gave his brother a hand over to the hotel where they had rooms for the night. Adam just wanted to lie down, so Joe took Carole down for some food.<\/p>\n Carole said \u201cI\u2019m very sorry about the events which brought you here Joe but I have seldom felt more grateful for anything in my life. The train journey here was a nightmare and although he\u2019s a lot fitter, today shows he\u2019s still a long way from fully fit. I\u2019m dreading the journey back but at least you\u2019ll be there to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked suspiciously at her but came to the conclusion that it wasn\u2019t an act and he guessed that Adam hadn\u2019t said anything to her about his plan of stopping off in New York. He asked her why the journey had been so bad and Carole explained the need to keep Adam\u2019s mind occupied, without being able to resort to books. Joe sensed that she would be really grateful if he came along and, far from being a nuisance, he could earn his keep. He immediately decided to go with them and stop in Reno as Adam had suggested. He went back to their room with Carole to find Adam was still awake. Joe told his brother that he had changed his mind and would be coming with them, maybe he could be useful. Adam grinned, \u201cGood I don\u2019t feel like arguing with you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe ruffled his brother\u2019s hair \u201cGet some sleep Adam the train leaves for New York at eight.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss hadn\u2019t found time to go in and see the Doc before heading out with the herd. He was reasonably happy about his father and anyway Adam would be home in another week. Hoss didn’t dare cut it any finer if they were to meet their contract. His hand was throbbing continually but he could move it okay and thought that Swann had set the bones, it was just taking time to heal. He was too busy to take much time to worry about his hand and he kept it stuffed in his jacket and did his best to ignore it. At least he had managed to hide from his father how much it was worrying him.<\/p>\n Hoss rode out to the herd on the Thursday, knowing that if Adam had stuck to his original plan his brothers would be in Reno on Monday. Ben thought his big son looked drawn but put it down to the hard work he\u2019d had in the past few weeks and thought that Hoss would be better for the drive, at least the problems there were ones he was used to dealing with. On the drive Hoss would be free of the detested paperwork. Ben was anxiously waiting for Adam to bring his youngest son home but not wanting to worry Hoss he put on a cheerful front when Hoss was around.<\/p>\n Hoss came up to see his father before he headed out \u201cYou sure you\u2019ll be okay Pa? I could hang on for a couple of days until Adam gets back and then catch up the herd. Jos\u00e9 could cope.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben clapped his big son on the back \u201cStop fussing Hoss, I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grinned, \u201cOkay Pa. Then I\u2019d better get going.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss set the herd in motion and rode along side. The first two days travelling was so well known he had no problems, the men could cope; but as he relaxed after all the strains of getting the herd on the move, the pain in his hand would no longer stay in the back of his mind. The throbbing seemed to spread throughout his body and he was irritable with the men, which surprised them, especially Jos\u00e9. It was so unlike Hoss. When they were fooling around in camp on the third night and one of them tried to tease Hoss, the big man turned on him and told him to grow up or get out and then walked off into the bushes. The hands sat in stunned silence but Jos\u00e9 told them not to worry and followed his friend, Hoss was sitting nursing his hand, which had become rather swollen and very tender. His head throbbed in sympathy with his hand and he felt rotten. Jos\u00e9 went over to him \u201cWhat ever is wrong Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss pressed the palm of his left hand against his forehead \u201cIt\u2019s nothing Jos\u00e9 I\u2019m just tired and irritable, no fit company.\u201d Jos\u00e9 wasn\u2019t convinced, but apart from deciding to keep a close eye on his friend, there was nothing he could do.<\/p>\n Little Joe was earning his keep on the train and all of them were anxiously awaiting the end of the journey. Adam was immeasurably better than on the trip north but the continual motion brought on a nagging pain in his back, a headache and a general ache in all his muscles and lethargy. He wasn\u2019t sleeping well and knew he was being irritable, although he tried not to. Joe spent long hours playing chess with Adam, he never won and often got long lectures on the stupidity of his move. Adam had taught him but had never been able to dispel Joe\u2019s habit of getting side-tracked from his plan if tempted. Typical of his younger brother as Adam told him more than once, just not thinking things through. Joe had never been very keen on the game Hoss wouldn\u2019t play and both his father and eldest brother were too good for him so he nearly always lost. He hated Adam giving him a queen to even things up. Carole thought Adam was rotten to his brother but Joe was quite happy to take his lectures, if it helped Adam to pass the time. Adam knew just how short tempered and cross he was being and tried to apologise to both of them but was told not to worry about it. They both knew just how wearing he was finding the journey with a continual head and backache. At long last the train pulled into Reno and they gratefully got their things over to the hotel.<\/p>\n On the Sunday Hoss had felt even worse, his whole forearm was swollen and it felt as though it was on fire. He knew he had to see a Doc but he was due to pick up stores in Fallon the following day and he thought he could hang on until then. It was late in the afternoon when Jos\u00e9 saw Hoss part company with his horse. Jos\u00e9 galloped over to his friend and swung down by him. Hoss was unconscious and burning up with fever. Jos\u00e9 had seen how Hoss kept his right hand tucked in his jacket and so he eased it out to have a good look. Jos\u00e9 bit his lip and whistled softly when he saw how swollen it was \u201cAmigo what have you been doing to yourself?\u201d He couldn\u2019t cope with the big man alone and called over a couple of hands to help. Between them the three men got Hoss back on Chubb and walked him back into camp. Jos\u00e9 knew he had to get Hoss to a doctor and fast so he ordered the men to unload what they needed for that night and make a bed up for Hoss in the back of the store wagon. They eased the big man into the wagon and then Jos\u00e9 began to drive into Fallon. He was about halfway when Hoss came round. For a moment Hoss was only aware of the pain in his arm but then realising where he was, he let out a yell. Jos\u00e9 stopped and poked his head into the wagon \u201cHello Hoss, how are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was struggling to sit up \u201cWhere are we going Jos\u00e9?\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 held him down \u201cTake it easy Hoss you\u2019re running a hell of a fever. I\u2019m taking you into Doc in Fallon. We\u2019ll be there in an hour.\u201d Hoss threw off Jos\u00e9\u2019s hand \u201cI\u2019m alright take me back to the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 shook his head \u201cDon\u2019t be a fool Hoss you need a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo I\u2019m okay. Do as you\u2019re told.\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 shook his head and, in a fit of temper, Hoss voice sounded stronger as he said \u201cYou\u2019re fired.\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 fed him a little water and eased him back down \u201cOkay Hoss I\u2019m fired but you are still going into the Doc, How in hell am I supposed to face Adam and Joe let alone your Pa if I don\u2019t look after you, you big galloot.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shut his eyes, \u201cThe herd, we have a contract it\u2019s got to get through.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake it easy. You’re not indispensable, I\u2019ll get the herd through after I\u2019ve handed you over to the Doc.\u201d Hoss felt too ill to argue any more and relaxed nursing his arm.<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 was calculating on what Hoss had told him and by his reckoning Adam and Joe were due into Reno the following day and he decided to send a telegram to try and contact them. Ben was still tied to the house and there seemed little point in worrying him but Hoss was very sick and his family needed to know. Jos\u00e9 was very glad to finally pull into Fallon and he found the Doctor\u2019s house on the outskirts of town. He left Hoss who had drifted back into sleep in the wagon and went inside. Doc was at home and on hearing about the trouble, he went out with Jos\u00e9 to help Hoss into the house, Doc kept a spare room for patients on the ground floor and, once Jos\u00e9 managed to wake Hoss, he was able to walk into the house. Then he collapsed onto the bed.<\/p>\n The Doc got him lying down comfortably and unwrapped the bandages on his hand. He asked when it had been injured but Hoss was too close to collapse. He heard the questions but somehow the answers he formed didn\u2019t get past his mind. Luckily Jos\u00e9 was able to fill the Doc in on what had happened and when. Doc shook his head \u201cBlood poisoning. I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m going to have to amputate his arm to save his life.\u201d<\/p>\n That did get through to Hoss and he raised himself up on his left elbow \u201cNo Doc. You ain\u2019t gonna cut my arm off.\u201d<\/p>\n The Doc sat down by him \u201cI\u2019m real sorry Son but its the only way. Your heart is having trouble coping with the poison now; it won\u2019t take much more. I\u2019ve got to remove the source of the poison.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss tried to pull himself to his feet \u201cNo I won\u2019t let you I\u2019m leaving.\u201d In his weakened state, his will power wasn\u2019t sufficient and he collapsed on the floor at Doc\u2019s feet. Doc and Jos\u00e9 lifted the unconscious man back on the bed and Jos\u00e9 looked at the Doc horrified \u201cAin\u2019t there any other way?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc sighed heavily \u201cI\u2019ll try and drain the poison from his hand but I think its gone too far for that and the longer I leave the amputation, the weaker the poison will make him. Then he will be that much less likely to survive the shock of the operation. I take it you do want him to live?\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 glared at him \u201cOf course I do but I can\u2019t make that decision I only work for him. I\u2019ll try to telegraph his family.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc nodded and having undressed and settled the big man as comfortably as he could with Jos\u00e9\u2019s help; he let Jos\u00e9 go to the telegraph office. He strapped Hoss\u2019 arm down and cut across the wounds beginning to drain out some blood and pus. It eased the swelling up Hoss\u2019 arm but Doc felt it would only be a temporary relief.<\/p>\n Adam and Joe had agreed that Joe would stay with Carole in Reno and start making arrangements to tranship all the things that were beginning to arrive from New York. Adam intended to hire a horse and ride home to see his father and then collect a wagon and come back for his wife and brother. Carole wasn\u2019t at all happy about it and had argued in vain that Adam shouldn\u2019t do it. He hadn\u2019t been on a horse since he was shot and it was a long ride home from Reno. Adam assured her that he was fine and Joe backed his brother and told her not to worry. Adam had been riding all his life; he was completely at home in the saddle. Carole had to give way to the brothers although she knew she would worry.<\/p>\n As the three of them booked in at the hotel, the desk clerk handed Adam a telegram, which had arrived for him the previous evening. Puzzled Adam ripped it open and as he read it, he lost colour. Carole and Joe moved closer to him and Carole asked anxiously \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam couldn\u2019t find the words and just passed Jos\u00e9\u2019s telegram to his brother and Carole read it over Joe\u2019s shoulder. Jos\u00e9 had told them that Hiss was suffering from blood poisoning and the Doctor in Fallon wanted to amputate his arm to save his life, but Hoss wouldn\u2019t let him, somebody had to come.\u00a0\u00a0Adam and Joe looked at each other. It was nearly a hundred miles from Reno to Fallon and someone needed to get there fast. Adam hated to put the burden on his little brother but they both knew Joe could make it faster alone. Joe said \u201cCochise is in the stable, he\u2019ll be fit and raring to go. Telegraph Jos\u00e9 and tell him I\u2019ll be there tonight.\u201d Adam nodded he wanted to go too but knew he would only hold Joe up. However sure he was that he could ride he wasn\u2019t fit for a mad dash. He looked at his little brother \u201cI\u2019ll come down to the stable with you Joe.\u201d The two brothers walked out oblivious of everyone else, even Carole \u201cWhat are you going to do Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know I can\u2019t imagine Hoss with only one arm.\u201d They both tried to face the idea of their big gentle, kind-hearted brother crippled for life. They knew how much he would hate it. Sometimes he shied away from people as it was, feeling clumsy and out of place due to his huge size. That had mainly been when he was younger, always very big for his age, but Adam remembered very clearly and he knew those days had left a scar. Only occasionally of later years had his size worried him and it had shown mainly in his fellow feeling for other big men. Adam put his arm round his little brother\u2019s shoulders \u201cI know Hoss will hate living as a cripple but if it is the only way to save his life you are going to have to give the Doc the go-ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe whitefaced nodded \u201cI know that Adam. If it comes to it, I sure hope that Hoss can forgive me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was silent as they reached the stable. Cochise was delighted to see his master after a month and he was soon saddled. Joe left Adam to settle up the accounts and swung up into the saddle. Adam put his hand on Joe\u2019s \u201cI\u2019ll see Paul before I go home and if he has any advice I\u2019ll telegraph you and when I\u2019ve seen Pa I\u2019ll come and join you. Meantime give Hoss my love and tell him to hang on.\u201d Joe shook his brother\u2019s hand \u201cI\u2019ll do my best for him Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam forced a smile \u201cYou don\u2019t need to tell me that brother, now go.\u201d Adam stood watching Joe head out on his long ride. He spent ten minutes settling the account for Cochise and then went down to the telegraph office to let Jos\u00e9 know that Joe was on his way. Then he headed back to the hotel to get Carole settled before he could go home and see his father. Carole was waiting for him up in their room and she came straight over to put her arms round him, knowing how worried he was about Hoss, \u201cWill you go and join them, when you have seen your father?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam couldn\u2019t help feeling a little surprised that after such a short time she knew him so well, but he just nodded \u201cI\u2019ll have to. If Joe has to let them amputate, they are both gonna need all the help they can get for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled understandingly \u201cOf course my love but I\u2019m coming to the Ponderosa with you. I can ride as well as you can and you can send some hands to collect the things.\u201d Adam studied her face for a moment but he had come to know his wife and when she looked like that it wasn\u2019t worth arguing \u201cAlright love, Pa will be worried sick when he finds out and he\u2019s tied to the house, maybe you can help him.\u201d Carole was surprised to win so easily, she had been expecting a long argument. Adam went on \u201cChange into riding clothes and pack a small bag. I\u2019ll go and see the manager arrange for the rest of the luggage to be stored for a couple of days and get two horses. I\u2019ll see you out front in half an hour.\u201d Carole kissed him “I\u2019ll be ready.\u201d They left town riding close together in silence, both thinking about the gentle giant and praying that he would be alright.<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 had received the telegram from Adam and was anxiously awaiting Joe\u2019s arrival. Hoss was unconscious the beneficial result of bleeding had long since vanished. The Doc was still insisting that he had to amputate and that if he left it much longer Hoss would die anyway too weak to withstand the shock. Jos\u00e9 couldn\u2019t give him the authorisation and Hoss had been so insistent about his refusal that Doc would not go ahead without word from someone. Jos\u00e9 assured him that Hoss\u2019 brother would be there by nightfall and the Doc pessimistically hoped that it wouldn\u2019t be too late. Jos\u00e9 sitting by his friend, listening to the laboured breathing and trying with cold compresses to fight the fever, was scared that the Doc was right.<\/p>\n Adam found riding more tiring than he expected. He tried, none too successfully, to hide it from Carole. As they drew near the Ponderosa Carole suggested \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go and see your father I\u2019ll go and ask Doc\u2019s advice and then rejoin you here. It would save some time.\u201d Adam wasn\u2019t sure, sore and with backache the idea of avoiding the extra miles into town and back was very attractive but he studied his wife carefully.\u00a0\u00a0She was still riding very easily and so he agreed \u201cOkay but come to the ranch first and I\u2019ll send one of the men into town with you.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole nodded grateful that Adam had accepted at all. Adam was trying to think how to break the news about Hoss to his father and just how his father felt about Joe now and how badly he\u2019d been hurt. In a way it would be easier alone with his father.<\/p>\n Adam dismounted stiffly in the yard and called for Kirk to take the horse. Then seeing Red in the barn he asked him to saddle a horse and escort Mrs Cartwright into town and back. Red went to saddle up and Carole slipped down for a moment into Adam\u2019s arms. She promised to tell the Doc exactly what was wrong and telegraph any advice to Fallon to await Joe. Adam saw them off and then went inside to find his father in the wheel chair working at the desk. Adam was stiff, sore, tired and desperately worried and Ben read that in his eldest son\u2019s face as Adam moved towards him.<\/p>\n Adam knelt down by his father \u201cHow are you Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rested his hand on his son\u2019s hair \u201cDoc says I can start walking again next week and otherwise I\u2019m fine but what\u2019s wrong with you, where\u2019s Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father and sighed heavily, there was no easy way to tell him \u201cJoe\u2019s on his way to Fallon Pa. We had a telegram from Jos\u00e9, Hoss is seriously ill.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had been prepared to hear bad news from the moment he\u2019d seen Adam\u2019s face but he had expected to hear that Joe hadn\u2019t been able to or willing to see him. The last thing he had expected was that Hoss was in trouble. Adam pulled himself stiffly to his feet and poured out two large brandies and then, unable to bring himself to tell his father, he handed over Jos\u00e9\u2019s telegram. Ben read the telegram and then wordlessly downed the brandy Adam passed him \u201cWhat is Joe going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head \u201cI don\u2019t know Pa but we agreed that if it was the only way to save Hoss\u2019 life he\u2019d have to tell Doc to go ahead. Joe was praying if it came to that, that Hoss would forgive him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben knew how much his big son would hate being a cripple, he\u2019d always felt clumsy and ungainly, especially against his elegant and graceful brothers, but he knew they had no choice they had to save his life. Ben shook his head \u201cThat\u2019s one hell of a decision for Joe to make,\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know. When I\u2019ve eaten I\u2019m heading out to join Joe. Carole has gone into town to see Paul and asked if he has any advice. If so she\u2019ll telegraph Joe before joining you here.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at his eldest son \u201cYou look exhausted now Son and its a long way.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared into the fire \u201cI\u2019m a bit stiff and sore Pa. It\u2019s a long time since I\u2019ve been on a horse, but I\u2019ll be okay. I\u2019ve got to go to Hoss, if Joe had to let the Doc amputate they\u2019ll both need some help for the next few days.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben wheeled himself over to his son \u201cSit down Adam I\u2019ll get Hop Sing to bring some food,\u201d Adam was sitting staring into the fire when his father came back. He looked up at his father \u201cHow did you break your leg Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben told him what had happened and Adam shook his head and then grinned at his father \u201cYou call me mule headed! Can you wonder at it?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben asked anxiously \u201cI know I was stupid and I didn\u2019t mean what I said. I was trying to stop Joe and tell him when he pushed me aside. Will he come home?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood up and went over to grip his father\u2019s shoulders, which were sunk in despondency \u201cOf course he will Pa. He didn\u2019t mean what he said either. The pair of you need your heads knocked together. He heard how he was supposed to have beaten you up and has been going frantic, trying to remember. I told him you were probably already hurt and that there wasn\u2019t anything to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked up in surprise at that \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled at his father \u201cTwo reasons. None of us have ever lifted a finger to you and while I can imagine Joe lashing out verbally or walking out I just couldn\u2019t see him touching you and secondly, it was the only reason I could think of for you going off the deep end.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had to grin \u201cYou always did know us pretty well.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam filled his father in on the sorry figure who had joined him in Hillsboro and assured him that all Joe wanted was to come home and make his peace with his father. Time passed quickly as they talked and Carole arrived back from town just as Hop Sing arrived with food<\/p>\n The worst of his anxiety about his youngest son eased Ben had to face the threat to Hoss. Carole went straight over to Ben and kissed him \u201cI was sorry to hear that you had broken your leg but Doc says you\u2019re almost recovered now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and Carole went on, knowing what both men needed, \u201cDoc wasn\u2019t too keen on giving advice with out seeing the patient but he suggested packing Hoss\u2019 arm in ice and putting a wet dressing heavy in salt over the hand after lancing it. He said that might draw the poison out, but if the swelling still progressed up the arm, then Joe would have to allow the amputation. He wrote out detailed instructions and I telegraphed them to Joe. But he did warn me that if it was as serious as Jos\u00e9 made it sound then there was only a slight chance it would work.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben and Adam looked at each other and Ben said, \u201cWell at least it gives Joseph some guidelines to work to. All we can do is pray.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam forced a smile \u201cSure Pa, God has been very good to us so far, he\u2019ll be with Hoss too.\u201d<\/p>\n They moved over to table. Ben couldn\u2019t eat but Adam forced himself to and when he had finished he filled a hip flask with brandy and called to Kirk to saddle Sport and Buck. He intended to swap between the two horses, both strong and fresh, because he had no intention of stopping until he reached his brothers. \u201cI\u2019ll send word as soon as I know anything Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded \u201cJust be careful Son don\u2019t push yourself too hard.\u201d Adam smiled, kissed Carole and then rode out. Carole stood at the door watching him, knowing how tired and sore he was after the ride from Reno and praying that this long ride wouldn\u2019t do any real harm. Then she went back in to sit by Ben. They didn\u2019t speak, but it was a companionable silence, and both were grateful for the presence of the other to share their worries.<\/p>\n Little Joe had made very good time; Cochise was fresh and eager to go. He reached Fallon around ten p.m. and headed straight to the telegraph office. He was in luck the office stayed open very late on Mondays to receive the last news in from Sacramento for the newspaper, which went to print on Tuesday. The telegrapher was very surprised when Joe came in, unused to seeing any one apart from the reporter and certainly not a stranger. However when Joe gave his name understanding dawned, \u201cOh yeah, there was a telegram came in for you, couple of hours back.\u201d He rooted it out and handed it to Joe and then he told Joe where to find the Doctor. Joe read the wire before heading for his brother and then hurried to Hoss. Jos\u00e9 was sitting with Hoss and hearing the horse come up, he checked and recognising Cochise, came out to greet Joe. Joe asked, \u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo real change, it ain\u2019t good. The Doc keeps drawing off blood from his hand and that seems to relieve him for an hour or two and then it builds up again. I\u2019m real glad you\u2019re here Joe, I can\u2019t overrule Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit his lip, seeing the certainty in his old friend\u2019s face that he would have to allow the Doc to amputate, but for now he needed to see his brother. He followed Jos\u00e9 in and sat down by his big brother. Hoss was very flushed and moaning slightly. Little Joe changed the cold compress on his brother\u2019s forehead and began talking quietly to him. Gradually Hoss seemed to rest a little easier. Jos\u00e9 had gone to fetch the Doc, who came in to find Joe inspecting the swelling in his brother\u2019s arm. It reached about halfway up to the elbow, which meant, going by Paul\u2019s telegram, that they still had a little time. Joe introduced himself and said \u201cI took the liberty of asking our own doctor for advice and he suggested this.\u201d He handed over the telegram. The Doc read it but looked very sceptical \u201cIt might work young man, but it\u2019s a very long shot. All the time you delay, more of the poison is working its way round your brother\u2019s body and weakening him, so that he\u2019s less able to stand the shock of the amputation.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cI understand that Sir, but my brother is very strong. I have to try everything I can before I sentence him to life as a cripple. I know he\u2019ll hate that.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor asked, \u201cYou do realise that you are risking his life?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and the Doc gave way \u201cWell we will try it for a few hours, but if the swelling progresses you have got to give me permission to amputate.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe agreed \u201cI know that and I will.\u201d<\/p>\n The Doc looked at him \u201cI know you only want the best for your brother young man, but it\u2019s better to be a live cripple than a dead whole man.\u201d Then he left to organise what was needed.<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 said \u201cJoe do you want me to stay here or take the herd on through.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at that, he hadn\u2019t given the herd a thought, \u201cI suppose we still have contracts to meet and you can\u2019t do anything here.\u201d<\/p>\n Jos\u00e9 gripped the younger man\u2019s shoulder \u201cDon\u2019t worry about the contracts I have been with Hoss often enough to know the trail and Pio and the others will give me all the help they can. Will you write me out an authorisation to deal on your behalf?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wasn\u2019t thinking straight but, as Jos\u00e9 spoke, he tried to pull himself together. He managed to remember the approximate form of the authorisation, having seen so many that Adam and Ben had drawn up in the past. He handed it to Jos\u00e9 and then said \u201cI\u2019ll telegraph ahead and tell them of the change in plan.\u201d Joe did his best to thank Jos\u00e9 for taking on the job but he knew he wasn\u2019t being very coherent. It didn\u2019t matter Jos\u00e9 could see how he felt, written all over Joe\u2019s expressive face. Jos\u00e9 eased himself to his feet \u201cI\u2019ll get going and be praying for Hoss. The big man will make it Joe, he\u2019s too strong to give in to a minor injury.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was barely aware of Jos\u00e9 leaving, all his attention on his brother. Hoss was very restless again as the poison spread through his body but somehow Joe\u2019s voice penetrated to him and he struggled to open his eyes. He finally focussed to see Joe bending over him. Joe gave him a little water and said \u201cEasy brother, just lie still.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss gripped Joe with his left hand and Joe was scared by just how weak the grip was and how faint his voice, but his brother was making sense, \u201cDon\u2019t let them cut my arm off Joe. Don\u2019t let them.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe held his brother still \u201cIt\u2019s gonna be alright Hoss I won\u2019t let them hurt you. I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stared at his brother intently, what he saw in Joe\u2019s eyes seemed to satisfy him and he relaxed a little, but as he did so the pain became even more evident, and then with a little sigh he slipped back into unconsciousness. Joe sat staring down at his brother, he\u2019d given an implicit promise to stop any amputation but if the swelling increased he would have to break that promise. For now all he could do was pray, pray that Doc\u2019s method would work and that he would not be forced into the decision he dreaded.<\/p>\n Eventually the Doctor came back in and set up the icepacks. He lanced the wound again and drew off some blood and then put the wet salt dressing to hold the wound open and hopefully let it continue to drain. Hoss fought against the dressing and the icepack at first, but after ten minutes or so the bleeding had effect, the swelling faded slightly and he rested easier. Doc showed Joe how to keep the dressing wet and at the right level of salt and then had to return to a difficult childbirth case he had upstairs. He promised to come back in an hour and told Joe to call if his brother got any worse. Doc kept popping in at intervals during that long night. Joe kept the icepacks freshened and renewed the wet dressing regularly. He kept applying cold compresses to Hoss\u2019 head. The night seemed terribly long to him, every so often he became convinced that the swelling was increasing and that he would have to do what he dreaded and permit the amputation. Other times Hoss slipped into delirium and started to toss around, talking wildly, but each time Joe managed to calm his brother by talking to him and stroking his head.<\/p>\n Joe was glad to see the dawn although it made no real difference, he couldn\u2019t hope for Adam to be with him to share the pressures until that evening at the earliest. The Doc came in, very despondent. He had saved the mother but been unable to save the child. Joe watched anxiously as Doc examined his brother, not helped when the older man straightened up and shook his head. Joe asked, \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc shrugged \u201cI don\u2019t know the swelling is being held and at least some of the poison is draining out, but he\u2019s lost some ground generally, he\u2019s weaker than he was.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared down at his brother \u201cWhat do you think Doc? Dare we carry on?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc looked up at the intense young man, his worry and love for his brother very clear on his face and he made up his mind \u201cAs you said he\u2019s pretty strong. Let it ride for a few more hours. Then if the swelling hasn\u2019t gone down we will have to make a final decision. At least the swelling isn\u2019t progressing.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and the doctor said \u201cI\u2019ll stay with your brother for a while, go and get some breakfast you look as though you need it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew the Doc was right and Hoss wasn\u2019t likely to come round so he went down the street. The barber\u2019s was open and empty so he spared five minutes for a shave and then went on to the hotel. Joe booked a room for the next week; once Adam arrived they would need it and then headed to the restaurant. He didn\u2019t feel like food, but he hadn\u2019t eaten since arriving in Reno, and knew it wouldn\u2019t help Hoss it he was on the verge of collapse. Joe forced himself to eat a good steak with all the trimmings and after a couple of cups of coffee, he felt better. Then Joe headed down to the telegraph office to wire ahead and let the buyers know that Jos\u00e9 was handling the herd. In all it was three-quarters of an hour before he got back to Hoss\u2019 bedside.<\/p>\n Hoss had been very restless all the time Joe had been gone, delirious and calling for his brother. Doc was very worried but as soon as Joe sat down next to him and started talking to him the big man calmed down and rested more easily. Doc was surprised Hoss seemed to sense his brother\u2019s presence, despite apparently begin deeply unconscious. Little Joe took it for granted, he had promised to look after Hoss, of course his brother rested more easily knowing he was there.<\/p>\n Joe sat by his brother\u2019s bed, trying to calculate the earliest that Adam could arrive. He knew that his brother wasn\u2019t fully fit and it was a long way from the ranch. Joe knew that Adam would do his very best to reach them fast but he wasn\u2019t at all sure that his brother was fit enough to do it in one go, without resting overnight. Even if Adam left at dawn Joe knew he couldn\u2019t reach Fallon much before midnight. The final decision on Hoss\u2019 arm probably couldn\u2019t wait that long. Joe knew that Hoss was weakening as the high temperature, pain and the effort of fighting the poison took their toll. There was little he could do to help, except change dressings and compresses and pray.<\/p>\n Adam was determined to make the ride in one go. He was already very stiff and sore and knew that if he stopped, allowing the unused muscles to really stiffen, he wouldn\u2019t be able to get back into the saddle. He knew the road well and at least Sport\u2019s action was so familiar he didn\u2019t have to think to move with it, it was ass natural as breathing. Adam didn’t try any shortcuts, although he knew a couple, but they were rough and he knew he was pushing his luck anyway. For the same reason he kept the pace steady, pushing too hard he would just end up having to make stops. By dawn he was more than half way and he swapped onto Buck and continued without stopping, having a drink of brandy as he went. Buck like Sport was glad of exercise and without any weight over the first half of the journey was fresher than the chestnut. Adam was very sore and tired but pushed on hoping to be with his brothers by midday. In the event, he found the last fifteen miles took the longest. Both horses were tired and he was exhausted, so it was nearly 2 p.m. when he finally rode into Fallon. He saw the Doctor\u2019s house on the outskirts and tied up his horses out front. He had to hold onto the hitchrail to retain his balance, as he dismounted, so very stiff with his back very painful. Fear for his brother gave him the strength he needed and he made his way up the steps to the front door. Doc was in the hall and thought he was a patient, not surprisingly as he was white and drawn with tiredness and worry. Adam shook his head \u201cNo I\u2019m okay, but I understand you have my brothers here. I\u2019m Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc nodded \u201cI was just about to go and check on your brother.\u201d He led the way down the hall into the sickroom. Joe looked up as he heard the door open and saw Doc come in, but then to his amazement he saw Adam standing behind Doc. It was so much earlier than he had dared hope and he knew his eldest brother must have ridden all night. Adam moved forward to Hoss \u201cHow is he Joe?\u201d He could see for himself that, thus far, Joe hadn\u2019t agreed to amputation. Little Joe stood by Adam, so very grateful to have someone to share the burden of making a decision \u201cDoc\u2019s treatment is holding the swelling, it isn\u2019t getting any worse, but it doesn\u2019t seem to be getting any better either, and he\u2019s gradually getting weaker.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc moved over to Hoss and examined him. After a couple of minutes he stood up shaking his head, \u201cYou have to make the final decision now. You either have that arm off and hope he\u2019s strong enough to take the shock, or you leave it, continue with the drainage and hope he wins before it kills him. In another hour or so he is going to be too weak for me to dare to operate. As of now it might save his life, but I\u2019m not offering any guarantees.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked at Adam, \u201cThank God you\u2019re here, what do we do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood, stroking his big brother\u2019s forehead, \u201cWhat do you advise Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc said, \u201cAmputation, but it should have been done two days ago, now it\u2019s risky. If you carry on with this drainage and it loses hold, and the swelling progresses, you\u2019ll be driven to amputate and it will kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at Joe \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed heavily, but his brother needed the facts \u201cHe was only conscious once for a few minutes, but he begged me not to let them cut his arm off.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared down at Hoss, \u201cIt\u2019s a gamble either way Doc, what ever we do might kill him?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc nodded \u201cIt is now.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam made up his mind, gently taking hold of his brother\u2019s left hand, \u201cWell I guess we don\u2019t change horses midstream, If we have to gamble lets play for the highest stakes. No amputation. I want my brother to live but I know he doesn\u2019t want to be crippled, we\u2019ll leave him to fight it.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc looked at the two brothers both white and drawn, the elder of the two obviously in pain, and sensed how close the family was. \u201cI don\u2019t agree but I\u2019ll do all I can to help. Let me know the instant there\u2019s any change. Meanwhile my wife has prepared lunch, I\u2019ll bring you some along.\u201d He went out leaving Adam and Joe facing each other. Joe agreed with his brother\u2019s decision \u201cI think that\u2019s what I would have done but I am so glad you came. I didn\u2019t think you could be here before midnight. You must have ridden all night.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam said, \u201cI thought if the Doc had amputated, you might both need some help.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe squeezed his shoulder, \u201cCome and sit down you look exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam managed a grin, \u201cI don\u2019t think I really want to sit down Joe. I\u2019m rather stiff and very sore.\u201d He rubbed his aching backside. And Joe smiled in sympathy \u201cthat I can believe it\u2019s a long way. Unless I miss my guess, your back is aching badly too.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t answer and Joe slipped out as Adam turned his attention to Hoss, who was restless,<\/p>\n Little Joe went along to the Doc and asked if he had some pain killer, explaining that his eldest brother wasn\u2019t long back on his feet, from a bullet in the gut, which had injured his back and that Adam hadn\u2019t been on a horse for months before yesterday. Doc had been able to see something was wrong, but he was surprised again at this family, where one member would risk such a ride to reach another’s sickbed. He gave Joe a packet of powder and told him to mix it with a little water and get his brother to take it. Then suggested that Joe should persuade his brother to spare half an hour to have a bath before he really stiffened up. Doc offered the use of his own bedroom and Joe gratefully accepted on his brother\u2019s behalf.<\/p>\n When he got back, Adam was having trouble holding Hoss still. Joe took over from his brother and gradually Hoss fell quiet. Joe handed Adam the powder and some water and said \u201cTake this, it\u2019ll ease your back off and when you have eaten Doc had offered you a bath in his room.\u201d Adam grinned at that \u201cYou\u2019re a good organiser little brother and that\u2019s one offer I won\u2019t refuse, but don\u2019t fuss about me.\u201d<\/p>\n Just then the Doctor\u2019s wife came in with two trays full of food. Adam thanked her and apologised for all the trouble they were causing her family. She smiled \u201cYou\u2019re more than welcome. I just hope your brother recovers.\u201d Her husband had told her that Adam wasn\u2019t fit and she was impressed by the closeness between the three brothers, as she said it made a very pleasant change form the squabble s an jealousies they so often saw.<\/p>\n As they ate Joe asked Adam how their father was. He wouldn\u2019t look up from his plate, not wanting to meet Adam\u2019s eye. Adam said, \u201cPa\u2019s going to be fine. He\u2019s still tied with his leg. It was broken, he had a bad fall from Buck in Rock Canyon.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at Adam at that and Adam told him exactly what Ben had said. Adam smiled, \u201cI told you I always doubted that you really hurt Pa. Now you know why he flew off the deep end, fever, pain and temper talking. He wants you home so that he can apologise and I think you have both well and truly paid for your outbursts of temper.\u201d Little Joe was so relieved to hear that he hadn\u2019t harmed his father that he was close to breaking down, he stood up and went over to the Hoss and changed the cold compress wanting something to do while he composed himself. Adam lay back in the chair and closed his eyes, hoping the painkiller would hurry up and work on his throbbing back and head.<\/p>\n Joe looked at him and he left Hoss for a moment going over to his eldest brother. He gripped Adam\u2019s shoulder \u201cI\u2019ll watch Hoss, go have that bath and thank you for straightening things out with Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam eased himself to his feet \u201cThere wasn\u2019t anything for me to do Joe. You never really needed an intermediary between you and Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned \u201cI guess not, maybe we just needed our heads knocked together.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam dryly commented \u201cThat thought had crossed my mind! I won\u2019t be long Joe call me if there\u2019s any change.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was back down half an hour later feeling much better as the pain killer took effect and the hot bath had cleared some of the stiffness. Joe was holding Hoss still as he babbled in delirium. Adam took Hoss\u2019 left hand and placed his other hand on Hoss\u2019 forehead. Then Adam began talking quietly to Hoss assuring him that everything would be okay. Gradually his voice penetrated to Hiss who murmured \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was relieved to have called back his brother\u2019s wandering wits and he lent a little closer, \u201cJoe and I are here Hoss. We\u2019ll take care of you, everything is going to be fine.\u201d Hoss grunted but he seemed to rest a little easier. Adam gently pushed his brother\u2019s hair back at least Hoss was resting for the moment, but he still had an alarmingly high fever and until they could break it the outcome was debatable.<\/p>\n As Joe changed the wet dressing, Adam had a look at the arm \u201cIt looks to me as though the swelling is down slightly.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged \u201cI\u2019m not sure, at least it\u2019s no worse.\u201d<\/p>\n Throughout the rest of the day the brothers sat either side of Hoss, talking quietly from time to time. Adam told Joe verbatim what their father had said. Joe tried to persuade his brother to go and rest but Adam said, \u201cHoss can\u2019t take an awful lot more of this. It\u2019s going to go one way or the other in the near future. I\u2019m not leaving him.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc came in and checked Hoss around 6 p.m. and had to agree, the fever was rising and it would break or kill him during that night. The swelling in his arm was definitely going down and amputation now wouldn\u2019t help. The poison in his arm was draining away, it was the poison already in his body, which he was fighting, and there was no way to help him. Hoss was delirious all the time by late evening and his brothers could no longer recall his wandering senses. All they could do was to try and hold him still so that he didn\u2019t expend his waning strength on threshing around. Doc was almost sure that Hoss was going to be dead by morning and told his wife as much.<\/p>\n Adam knew the odds and all he could do was pray. Little Joe was thoroughly scared for his brother and became convinced that he should have allowed Doc to amputate when he had first arrived, in which case by now Hoss might have been well on the way to recovery. Adam knew that Joe would always blame himself if Hoss died, but there were no words to help his brother.<\/p>\n At the Ponderosa Ben had shut up in a shell scared for Hoss, worried how Adam had made out on the long ride and unable to do anything but wait for news. He carried on the business of the ranch, arranging the orders for the men and seeing to the accounts. Only a close observer could have seen how little of his mind was on the work and how much was crying out with the need to be with his sons. Carole was consoling herself that under the circumstances no news was good news, but she was very restless. She didn\u2019t have any work to bury herself in and couldn\u2019t settle.<\/p>\n That evening they sat by the fire with coffee Carole was staring into the fire but hearing Ben sigh she looked up, \u201cAdam should be with his brothers by now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded \u201cHe\u2019ll let us know as soon as there\u2019s any news. They will send a messenger out from town as soon as word arrives.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe longer he holds on the better his chances are.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rested his chin in his hand and then said, \u201cI hope so. It sometimes seems that I\u2019ve spent the last thirty-one years of my life worrying over my sons. I\u2019ve never worked out whether they are really accident-prone or whether with three boys in wild country it was inevitable. But what with childhood ailments, falls and of later years bullet wounds and heartaches, one of them always seems to be in trouble. I don\u2019t know why we want children, they are such a worry.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole smiled at him \u201cYou worry about them because you love them, but its obvious how much their companionship and love for you mean. You wouldn\u2019t be without them.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared into the fire \u201cNo of course I wouldn\u2019t and I don\u2019t want any of them to be different from what they are. It\u2019s just that I hate it when they are ill or hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn some ways you are very lucky. Think how badly Adam and Joe were hurt in the spring and they have recovered completely. Hoss will too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was very sombre as he watched the flickering light \u201cThat\u2019s what worries me, one of these days our luck is going to run out. Each time something happens I wonder if it\u2019s this time.\u201d<\/p>\n In Fallon as midnight approached Adam and Joe were both wondering the same thing. As though it had done its job, the swelling in Hoss\u2019 hand and arm had almost completely gone, but Hoss was very weak, breathing stertorously. The fever continued to mount whatever they did and they both knew that Hoss couldn\u2019t last many more hours. Doc was sitting in with them but the brothers were doing all that could be done. Adam had decided that the only one who could help was God and he was praying hard. Joe couldn\u2019t even seem to do that. He had long since decided he should have allowed the amputation instead of risking his brother\u2019s life. He was in his own private hell, which even Adam\u2019s presence and his final decision didn\u2019t help. Adam knew how Joe felt and that if Hoss died, as seemed increasingly likely, Joe would never forgive himself, nor would he believe that Adam or Ben would have made the same decision.<\/p>\n Soon after midnight Doc said \u201cThat fever is killing your brother, he won\u2019t last until morning. I want to take a chance to break the fever.\u201d<\/p>\n Both brothers looked up at that and Doc went on \u201cIts a treatment I\u2019ve read about. It\u2019s been used in the treatment of typhoid with varying success. I want to pack the whole body with ice. It can break the fever; the risk is that the heart won\u2019t be strong enough to take the shock and just gives up. It is a risk but I think it\u2019s your brother\u2019s only hope.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Joe looked at each other and Joe nodded slightly, Adam said, \u201cLet\u2019s try.\u201d<\/p>\n It took the combined strengths of the three men to hold Hoss as icepacks were applied. He fought against them furiously as the blanket wrapped ice was placed round his body but after ten minute he seemed to rest easier. For tow hours they sat in silence and then Adam who was sitting by his brother\u2019s head said \u201cLittle Joe it\u2019s broken.\u201d The words came out almost reverently. Joe turned and came over and saw his brother\u2019s face wet with sweat. Doc checked and then began removing the ice packs \u201cYou\u2019ve won the big prize I think he\u2019ll make it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked down at his big brother \u201cThank God.\u201d He helped Doc remove the ice and wipe Hoss down before wrapping him up warmly. Then he went over to Joe, who had sunk down in a chair and was crying unashamedly. Adam passed his hip flask to Joe, who gratefully downed the neaT brandy. Then he sat up and wiped his face, \u201cI\u2019m fine Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure you are Joe but you look as though you could do with some fresh air. Go and rouse the telegraph operator and send word to Pa.\u201d Joe nodded and went out. It was a beautiful clear crisp night, stars shining brightly and the whole town asleep in the early hours, in a way Virginia City never was. Joe stood for a moment drinking in the silence of the night and now he was able to pray and he offered a heartfelt thank you for his brother\u2019s life. Despite his tiredness, there was a spring in his step as he went down the street, which had been absent for the last month. The man, who ran the telegraph, wasn\u2019t pleased to be hauled out of bed but Joe was persuasive and gave him ten dollars for his time, which clinched it. He sent a long telegram to his father and then headed back to his brothers.<\/p>\n Adam was almost out on his feet when Joe got back. Now Hoss was going to make it and no longer needed him, lack of sleep and the long ride were catching up with him. Joe took one look at his brother and took his arm “I booked a room at the hotel three blocks down, yesterday morning. I\u2019ve got the key and you need the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam tried protesting, \u201cYou\u2019ve had no more sleep than I have.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTrue brother but I started off fit and I haven\u2019t had backache all day. Come on Hoss will be okay for five minutes. You are going to bed.\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t even formulate an argument and he was very grateful for his brother\u2019s supporting arm. When they reached the room Adam accepted Joe\u2019s help to get off his boots and he took off his belt and then lay down. Joe smiled \u201cI\u2019ve sent word to Pa and Hoss is gonna be fine. You get some sleep.\u201d He tucked the blanket round Adam and his brother was asleep before Joe had even straightened up. Joe gently brushed his brother\u2019s hair. He knew just how much the long ride had taken out of Adam and that his brother had been in pain throughout the long vigil, but he had been very grateful to have him there.<\/p>\n Joe left Adam to sleep and went back to sit by Hoss. Hoss was asleep and likely to remain so for several hours and Joe dozed as he sat by his brother.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s telegram was taken out to the Ponderosa as soon as it arrived, under an arrangement Ben had made years earlier, whenever there was trouble or a particular tag appeared on the telegram. The fourteen year old son of the livery stable owner was always willing to ride out, whatever the time, knowing that the Cartwrights were more than generous if it meant a night journey.<\/p>\n Ben was up and sitting by the fire with a brandy, he had been unable to sleep and after tossing and turning for hours had got up. He heard someone at the door and gingerly made his way over to the door, using the cane that Doc insisted on. When he opened it, Billy grinned and held out the telegram \u201cFrom Joe Sir, Hoss is gonna be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took the telegram as if in a daze and found a couple of dollars for Billy. He offered coffee but Billy wanted to get back and refused. Ben took the telegram and sat down by the fire, with it still unopened. He was scared to open it and learn his big kind-hearted son was a cripple. Eventually knowing he had to find out sometime, Ben ripped it open and scanned Joe\u2019s message. He saw the words no amputation necessary and let the telegram fall, unable to read through the mist of tears of relief. Ben was sitting staring into the fire thanking God for his mercy when Carole came down. She had heard the door and come down to find out the news. Ben woke out of his reverie on hearing her coming and quickly read the rest of the telegram. He smiled up at Carole \u201cJoe sent word. Hoss is going to be alright without any amputation. Adam is there, rather stiff and tired, but alright and Joe sends his love.\u201d<\/p>\n Carole sank down by Ben and buried her face in his lap. After a few minutes Ben lifted her up to find her face wet with tears. \u201cWere you that worried about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Carole shook her head \u201cNot Adam, Hoss he\u2019s so kind and gentle I didn\u2019t want him crippled.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben kissed her forehead \u201cI waited a long time for a daughter but Adam did me proud.\u201d They sat quietly together for a long moment and then Carole said \u201cI\u2019ll go heat up some coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled \u201cGood idea.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slept for six hours and woke feeling much better, although he was terribly stiff. He washed his face and went downstairs for coffee and some food before heading back to his brothers. Joe was pleased to see him \u201cYou look better. I didn\u2019t expect you so soon. I thought you\u2019d sleep the clock round.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay and it\u2019s time you got some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn a bit, he\u2019s been murmuring and I think he\u2019ll wake up soon. I\u2019ll hang on for a bit and see how he feels.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned at his youngest brother \u201cYou kept your promise, noone has hurt him.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed, \u201cFor a while last night I\u2019d have given anything to turn the clock back and have allowed Doc to amputate as soon as I got here. Now I\u2019m so very glad I didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe gambled and we were very lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n Then they heard another murmur from the bed and they both moved close to Hoss. Hoss opened his eyes and for a moment he couldn\u2019t focus and then as things came clearer he saw his brothers. His voice was very weak but they heard their names \u201cAdam, Joe\u201d<\/p>\n Joe moved closer and stroked Hoss\u2019 head \u201cEverything is okay Hoss Take it easy you\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lifted Hoss\u2019 head slightly and fed him some water. For a moment Hoss was content just to look at his brothers smiling down at him and then memory seeped in and in a sudden panic he pushed himself up. Adam held him still easing him back on the pillows. “Joe told you everything was alright Hoss he didn\u2019t let the Doc amputate.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 eyes went to his right arm still in a wooden box and covered with wet dressings and Joe sensed that his brother would only rest easy when he\u2019d seen with his own eyes. Joe lifted off the dressings \u201cIt\u2019s in a hell of a mess Hoss we had to drain out the poison but it will be fine.\u201d Hoss made the effort to move his fingers. It sent stabs of pain through him but they moved and he grinned at his brothers. Joe redressed his hand while Adam went to fetch some broth the Doctor\u2019s wife had waiting for them.<\/p>\n Hoss was terribly weak and his arm felt as though it was on fire but he was content with his brothers with him. He had missed them but at least now they with here and he trusted their word that he would be fine. Hoss let Adam feed him the broth and then lay back too weak to talk but able to watch his brothers. Adam sent Joe to go and get some food and then use the bed at the hotel catch up on his sleep. Once Joe had gone, Adam reassured Hoss that everything was going to be fine, their little brother was alright and the quarrel between him and Pa was over. Hoss relaxed at that he had been very worried about his little brother, he lay watching Adam for a while and gradually slipped back into sleep. Adam sat by his brother, he knew Hoss would recover but for the moment his big brother was desperately weak and it was going to be a long job for him to regain his strength. In many ways it had been a disastrous year for them and Adam was very conscious of their good fortune in surviving the injuries. He sat quietly by Hoss only half awake for several hours.<\/p>\n Doc came in and checked Hoss\u2019 pulse and temperature. Adam looked questioningly at him and the Doc smiled \u201cHe\u2019s okay. I\u2019m not quite sure how, but as your other brother said, he must be a very strong man. Now it\u2019s just a case of building up his strength.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow long will it be before we can move him home to our ranch? It\u2019s nearly a hundred miles but there is good road all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRather depends on how anxious you are to get him home. Ideally he should stay put for a couple of weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cProblem is my father has a broken leg and is tied to the house, not only does he need to see Hoss and vice versa, but Joe and I ought to get back to do our share of the work.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGuess we could look after your brother.\u201d Doc said rather doubtfully, visualising his little wife trying to help such a big man, but Adam shook his head \u201cNo. Thank you very much, but we came too close to losing him. I don\u2019t think either Joe or I could leave him until he\u2019s a lot stronger and by then he\u2019ll be fit to move.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell it rather depends on how he goes on, but I would think if you took it easy, he could be moving in four or five days.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nThe Homecoming<\/a><\/span>
\nHome to Stay<\/a><\/span>
\nHoneymoon and Arguments<\/a><\/span>
\nJoe and Marie<\/a><\/span>
\nAdam and Carole<\/a><\/span>
\nA European Trip<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Aftermath<\/a><\/span>
\nA Busy Summer<\/a><\/span>
\nA Tree Falls<\/a><\/span>
\nSan Fracisco Trip<\/a><\/span>
\nA Stranger from the Past<\/a><\/span>
\nA Sense of Blame<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Medicine Man<\/a><\/span>
\nCourtship and Cattle Drives<\/a><\/span>
\nAngels with Red Hair?<\/a><\/span>
\nThieves and Murderers<\/a><\/span>
\nPipeline Problems<\/a><\/span>
\nGuests for Christmas<\/a><\/span>
\nA Turbulent Preacher<\/a><\/span>
\nJoe and Nita<\/a><\/span>
\nBen and Beth<\/a><\/span>
\nBanks, Pipelines, and Railroads<\/a><\/span>
\nLost<\/a><\/span>
\nA New Operation<\/a><\/span>
\nA Slow Recovery<\/a><\/span>
\nCelebrations<\/a><\/span>
\nForest Fire<\/a><\/span>
\nA Premature Birth<\/a>
\n<\/span>The Bank of California<\/a>
\nTrail Drive<\/a><\/span>
\nRobbery and Assault<\/a><\/span>
\nVirginia City on Fire<\/a><\/span>
\nRebuilding Virginia City<\/a><\/span>
\nCatching Up<\/a><\/span>
\nChristenings, Commissions, and Christmas<\/a><\/span>
\nWinter Ills<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #2 \u2013 Advance Warning<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #3 – Family Row #1<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #4 \u2013 Family Row #2<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #5 \u2013 Family Row #3<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #6 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #1<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #7 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #2 – Court Hearing<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #8 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #3 – Knight Errant<\/a>
\nThe Lawyer #9 – The Spanish Land Grant #4 – The Long Journey Home<\/a>
\nThe Lawyer #10 – The Spanish Land Grant #5 – Troy’s Last Stand<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
\nAdam smiled \u201cShe knew I wanted to talk to you so she went to visit with her cousin. I said I\u2019d pick her up later.\u201d<\/p>\n