Summary: As the family celebrate expansion Ben begins to feel ill.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (29,635 words)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Brandsters acknowledge that the authors are the owners of their stories.\u00a0 Should an author included in this project reach out to us and indicate they do not wish their work to be archived in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library, we will remove their stories.\u00a0 We would also be happy to change contact information for any authors who wish to continue to have their stories archived in the Library.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The Cartwright Saga Series:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The Lawyer <\/a><\/span> \n A New Operation<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n All the Cartwrights were busy getting ready to welcome Adam\u2019s friends from England. Sue and Nita had both helped Carole get her house ready and lay in the supplies she would need for the influx of guests, Most of the arrangements they could make in advance for their houses were done and with Hoss away and Joe very busy during the day, time hung heavily open their hands. Only a certain amount of sewing could be done and Sue in particular was used to being busy. As a nurse she hadn\u2019t had much free time and the weather was damp and miserable not tempting them outside much.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was very busy too as his men began to check the far reaches of the Ponderosa and the reports started to come in of the winter damage. It hadn\u2019t been a particularly severe winter and they had got off lightly but it still needed organizing. On top of that there were several queries from town, detailed plans for consideration from both the mines, board meetings called for just after Easter and a great pile of papers on the Bank now very much a reality. News of it would be released to the general public after Easter. Adam\u2019s charter had been adopted intact and there were several comments from members of the legislature, evincing surprise that it was such a comprehensible document. Some of the papers were legal and needed Adam\u2019s attention but Ben worked long hours dealing with as much as he could, trying to reduce the pile to manageable proportions, determined to leave his son as free as possible to enjoy his friends\u2019 company. He would only be home for just over a week before he had to get out to the west shore. Ben was using Adam\u2019s power of attorney to control the dispersal of their stock but had discussed it in great detail with all his sons and knew exactly what Adam wanted so that didn\u2019t bother him. The pipeline was making progress but he had to leave Joe to keep an eye on that and on the mending of the broken pipes, it was hard enough to fit in the essential visits to town. Several times Ben had been troubled by the pain in his side, but as it always went off quickly he put of doing anything about it. There wasn\u2019t time and anyway in his heart he was scared to know what was wrong, knowing just how little medical help there was for abdominal problems. He had watched Beth die and although he knew he ought to talk to Doc he preferred not to know.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had one advantage over his brothers, he got home to bed with his wife nearly every night, but often only after a long ride and he was working just as hard. There was so much to keep an eye on and try to organise, they had begun building the second saw mill, nearer the lake than their established one, apart from the road to the west shore, the pipeline and the foundations for their new houses. Joe didn\u2019t come home the night before he was due to meet Johnny and his party, in fact he\u2019d only managed a couple of hour\u2019s sleep as he ensured that all the operations were sufficiently under control to manage without him for a couple of days. He wouldn\u2019t have even had that much rest if Jos\u00e9 hadn\u2019t bullied him. Joe came down from the ice cutting to get Jos\u00e9\u2019s report on the spring roundup, well under way now. Not that Jos\u00e9 couldn\u2019t cope, but Joe wanted to be able to give his father a full report, Jos\u00e9 refused to discuss anything until Joe had eaten and then bullied his friend into getting some sleep seeing how exhausted he looked. Joe didn\u2019t want to but he hadn\u2019t the energy to argue and anyway Jos\u00e9 made sense. Joe felt worse when he woke up but after some coffee he began to feel more human and three hours later he had finished all his immediate tasks and he rode home to spend an hour or so with Nita before going to meet the train.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita could see how tired he looked but she had watched how hard Ben was working and knew from Carole that the summer was always busy. She had seen a little of it in San Francisco, with both Joe and his brother and although she would have liked to tell him what a fool he was, warn him to take better care of himself, she managed to bite back all comment. She kissed him warmly and then went and got him some coffee, talking quietly as he sipped his drink, some of the odd things which had struck her over the last couple of days. Joe relaxed and pulled her close, very grateful for her understanding. Before he left for town he kissed her passionately \u201cYou\u2019re wonderful darling. I\u2019ll have a few days to spend with you now. Thank you for not complaining or nagging, I know I\u2019ve earnt it but its just about impossible to avoid at this time of the year, so much to get started.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know that darling. You\u2019d better get on or you\u2019ll miss the train.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe kissed her again \u201cLove you.\u201d Then he hurried out to the surrey, he had two other buckboards and another surrey to ensure the whole party could be transferred without undue discomfort. His father had ordered everything and given Joe some of the best hands as drivers, those who could take care of the passengers and not be overawed by the English visitors. In fact Joe reached town in plenty of time and leaving the vehicles over by the railway station he popped into the Palace to have a word with Dan, see if there was any news. There wasn\u2019t much but he had word of two important visitors coming in the next couple of months, one was the current President of the United Stated Ulysses S Grant and a few months later he was to be followed by the man who was hoping to replace him. Dan said \u201cI doubt if you\u2019ve even heard of him, he\u2019s from Ohio, Rutherford Hayes.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe laughed \u201cThen you\u2019d be quite wrong. In fact Adam and Carole have even met him. He\u2019s some sort of friend of Edwin Booth\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll be out at the Ponderosa then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know Dan, first I\u2019ve heard of him coming, entirely depends. We have a very busy summer planned. Way it stands there won\u2019t be any of us around to see him most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou look a mite tired.\u201d Dan commented.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCould say so, had a lot to clear this last week. I\u2019m in town to collect a load of visitors from England for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dam immediately demanded details and Joe gave him all the names and a brief sketch of their position in English society and their reasons for coming. He promised the reporter a chance to meet them at a party laid on at the Ponderosa the next Saturday. Dan knew abut the party but hadn\u2019t realised the reason for it and was surprised as the party was to be at the main house while Joe said these were Adam\u2019s guests. Joe explained that Carole would be quite busy enough anyway and Adam wasn\u2019t even due back from the high country until Thursday or Friday, it would be too much of a rush to hold it at Adam\u2019s house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Then Joe had to get back to the station. Johnny wasn\u2019t too surprised to find Joe there in his brother\u2019s stead and having been reassured that it wasn\u2019t due to any of the all too frequent disasters which seemed to hit the ranch, he got his party sorted out between the wagons. Joe knew all of them, although some were hard pressed to recognise him in his working clothes a gun slung casually on his hip, used to the debonair flirt they\u2019d seen in London. Only Johnny himself had been in the west before and that was several years ago. Virginia City had grown a lot in those years and as the wagons edged through the inevitable traffic jams they had time to see something of the town. All were glad to get away from the noise, the hustle and bustle and out to the peace and serenity of the ranch. At one point the pipe trench was visible and Joe had to answer a whole series of questions, what they were up to and the use of the flume as that came into sight. Johnny knew Adam as a lawyer and had forgotten he was an engineer and architect too, but although some of the others were very surprised as Adam\u2019s house came into sight, Johnny wasn\u2019t. He knew just how clever Adam was, he\u2019d never come across anyone else with as incisive a brain or such powers of concentration.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue and Nita were there with Carole and Joe made the necessary introductions once everyone was in the warm. Joe was very proud of his lovely wife, seeing the open admiration in the men\u2019s eyes but he wasn\u2019t surprised at her ease in coping with the Earl and his entourage. What did surprise him was Sue\u2019s quiet relaxed welcome, she didn\u2019t seem lost for conversation or even uneasy, having gained immeasurably in confidence ever since she\u2019d met Hoss but particularly since her marriage. Joe was pleased to see it and made up his mind to tell Hoss when he saw his brother. Johnny knew Joe well enough to be able to congratulate him and tease him about finding his beautiful blonde wife.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came over to join them for dinner and helped Joe and Carole to entertain the visitors for the next few days until Adam got back, at least the weather was improving. Like Joe he was rather surprised at Sue\u2019s self-confidence but delighted to see it. They weren\u2019t expecting Adam and Hoss until late on the Thursday but in fact the brothers reached home just after midnight on Wednesday and separated to slip into their own houses. Noone was up at Adam\u2019s house and he dumped all his papers in the study and got himself a brandy, relaxing by the fire with it to warm up for half an hour before going up to join Carole in bed. She had been very busy and was tired out, fast asleep. She was vaguely conscious of Adam getting in next to her but didn\u2019t wake enough to query it, just cuddling up close to him. Adam kissed her but she went straight back to sleep and he wasn\u2019t long in following her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss found his father still up; trying to keep the paperwork reasonably straight with the hours he\u2019d spent with their guests. Hoss thought his father looked tired but knew he wasn\u2019t in much of a position to comment and after a very brief summary of what they had done and a coffee Hoss was about to go on up to join Sue when Ben put a hand ion his son\u2019s arm, \u201cJust a minute Hoss while we\u2019re on our own.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned wondering what was wrong but he relaxed as he took in his father\u2019s expression. Ben explained just how self-assured Sue had been and how good with the guests and then smiled broadly as he told his son how proud he\u2019d been of his daughter-in-law. Hoss went on up grinning very broadly, he had been slightly worried how she would manage especially without him. Nita was used to coping with strangers and important people but Sue wasn\u2019t, shy and worried about her size. Hoss hadn\u2019t realised just how much confidence he had given her. Sue woke up as Hoss slipped in next to her and although tired Hoss wasn\u2019t too tired to pull her close. He had missed his wife very much, with this, the first longish separation; although both knew they would have to accept much longer ones. They slept in the next morning and Ben reckoned his big son had earnt it. It was the most noticeable effect of Hoss\u2019 mariage; instead of almost always being the first down to breakfast he showed a marked reluctance to leave his bed, much to his father\u2019s private amusement.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole was amazed to find Adam next to her when she awoke and couldn\u2019t understand how she had failed to notice his arrival. Adam shushed her and took advantage of a quiet half an hour with his wife before the children got up. Then he had to get up and greet his guests. Carole filled him in on the news, the party Ben had arranged and how well everyone was getting on as he drank coffee. Then Adam went to check a few papers in his study for an hour before everyone else was up, joining them for breakfast to their surprise.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Apart from a few hours when he had to clear outstanding matters with his father Adam forgot about work for the next few days enjoying his friends\u2019 company. As it was he\u2019d have to leave for the west shore to mark up before they headed on to San Francisco. It was much against his will but the jobs couldn\u2019t be delayed and there was none else to do it. All of them knew it was a working ranch and as Johnny said Adam was around more than he had been on previous visits. There was plenty of legal work to clear before he could go out again but at least he could do that in odd hours at home and although there were three board meeting in town that he needed to attend with his father and brothers they could be combined with tours of the mines and the other features of Virginia City for his guests.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Both Hoss and Joe had taken very much to heart what Adam had said about protecting the Ponderosa and each in turn managed to get Adam on his own and outline what he wanted to cover in a will. Adam promised to draw them up something to cover it and as they basically wanted the same as he had for himself, it wasn\u2019t a long job. Each named his brothers as trustees for any children and joint guardians with their wife, the Ponderosa remaining in the family but certain individually owned stocks going outright to wives and any children with bequests to charities. Adam got his brothers to sign the wills getting Johnny and his brother to witness them. Joe laughed \u201cCan\u2019t be many wills in Nevada witnessed by an Earl!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Johnny grinned, \u201cNot many people with as much to leave as you two or such a propensity for getting into trouble!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n “We get out of it too.\u201d Hoss protested \u201cSometimes by the skin of our teeth, but somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even the weather had improved and they were able to go out on picnics by the lake and to other pretty centres. The party had been as successful as Ben\u2019s parties always were and all the visitors seemed to enjoy it even though they were very much the centre of attention, Ben was rather quiet, he missed Beth very much on such occasions and all his sons recognised that and tended to hover close to him, all slightly worried. Determined not to upset anything or spoil anyone\u2019s enjoyment, Ben forced himself to put Beth from his mind. His act was good enough to calm his sons, if it didn\u2019t entirely convince them. Knowing that they would only upset him if they were obviously worried they accepted his act and, apart from Carole, noone else noticed. When all the guests had gone Joe had a quiet word with his father before going up to bed, unsure whether Ben wanted company. Nita was so tired she\u2019d already gone to bed and Joe thought she\u2019d be asleep by now so he assured his father that he didn\u2019t need to feel guilty if he wanted his son to stick around, although he didn\u2019t put it so clearly. Ben was very touched by his youngest son\u2019s offer but although rather melancholy he insisted he was alright and really preferred to be on his own. He promised his son that he\u2019d be up soon. It had been a good party and everything seemed to be going well, Joe had been working hard too and he was tired and not sorry to head for his bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On Sunday they all went in to church but even there they couldn\u2019t avoid work entirely and had to arrange a series of meetings for the following week but they managed to get away in time and went up to the Lake for a picnic. Ben was quiet and Adam wandered over to him but for once Ben wasn\u2019t thinking about Beth. He straightened up as Adam joined him, \u201cI had a word with Dan while you were trying to get away from Jim Fair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat did Dan have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt was what he didn\u2019t know that worries me, Jim is opening the bank officially on Wednesday he\u2019s already sent that letter to the Bank of California withdrawing one million cash and four million in bullion as from Friday, Sharon must know all about it and yet even Dan can\u2019t get any hint of his reaction, he\u2019s acting s though he doesn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam frowned \u201cLike you I trust him least when I don\u2019t know what he\u2019s up to, but I don\u2019t see what he can do and anyway worrying won\u2019t help so forget it. You look very tired Pa are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t fuss Adam, we\u2019ve all been busy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam wasn\u2019t entirely convinced but he let his father change the subject and at least had the satisfaction of seeing Ben relax. Then Johnny came over to enquire just how they were proposing to get the lumber from the west shore out. On his favourite hobby horse of the minute Adam soon forgot his father as he tried to explain the problems he faced and how he intended to surmount them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next morning Adam and Joe took the men of the party off to see their breeding stock of horses and all were very impressed especially by the Arab stallion, although Johnny liked Adam\u2019s black stallion best. Adam couldn\u2019t help agreeing, but as he didn\u2019t breed true he wasn\u2019t very useful for the herd, and he made an excellent mount. All of them were good judges of horseflesh and only Joe\u2019s graphic descriptions of the expense and difficulty in transporting a horse to England prevented three sales on the spot. Johnny laughed \u201cI thought you were supposed to be in the business of selling stock not talking your prospective buyers out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe have more demand than we can meet anyway and it just isn\u2019t practical.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Johnny sighed \u201cYou make me feel old Little Joe; last time I came here you\u2019d have been the last to consider practicalities.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt was a long time ago.\u201d Adam commented.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cToo long, I love it here; can see why you were so eager to get back.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On Tuesday the Cartwrights had two board meetings to attend in town but the whole party went along. At Adam\u2019s request Philip was taking the male members of the party down the Ophir to get some idea of conditions and the basis of Virginia City\u2019s prosperity. Most important visitors were given a guided tour of one or other of the mines. The children were left behind but Carole, Sue and Nita took the two other women to see the stores and stock dials such as there was available. Nita hadn\u2019t been in much either and she was intrigued by some of the things that Carole showed them. Carole was well known as a Cartwright and could walk safely and get entrance where few other Americans could. All the Chinese knew how much they could rely on the Cartwrights, a mutual respect and friendship from which both sides gained, on occasion greatly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had arranged for his friends to have lunch at the hotel and hopefully the mining meeting would be over and the four men would be able to join them, but he warned Carole not to wait on them, she should just go ahead. In fact once Carole had everyone at the hotel and drinks ordered she slipped away, having arranged to see Doc. She had been in luck and bumped into him in the street. She left Johnny in charge, everything was all ordered and she promised to be back in about twenty minutes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In fact it didn\u2019t take very long for Doc to confirm what she thought. In fact she didn\u2019t really need Doc\u2019s word, she had been very sure for several weeks, she was pregnant again. Doc had seen her after her ordeal in the autumn and he was very pleased for her and Adam, nothing else could so conclusively prove that she had made a full recovery. As a matter of course he promised not to say anything to anyone until she had had the chance to tell Adam but she was perfectly fit and there seemed no reason why she shouldn\u2019t carry as easily as she had with the twins and Marie. Marie\u2019s birth had proved that her miscarriage had done no lasting damage and she needn\u2019t even consider it now. Carole felt fit and well and wasn\u2019t worried, just delighted, hoping for another girl to be as good company for Marie as the twins were for each other. As near as she could calculate the baby was due about the 16th October, probably earlier as she had always been so far. Not the most convenient time of year but then it never was. She knew that she had conceived almost as soon as she had been able to go back to Adam with real joy although she would never be able to prove it she was sure in her own mind that this baby had been made that first night the final banishment of her night in hell.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole slipped back into join the others, having been away less time than she had expected. She found that the four men had just arrived and in the confusion her absence hadn\u2019t even been noticed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was preoccupied with the prospects for the first meeting of the Board of Directors of the new Bank that afternoon, the morning meetings had been routine but this one was anything but. He noticed Carole\u2019s exuberance but was just grateful to her for taking charge of the entertaining while the men were so busy. They had no real idea how long the meeting would last but Johnny and his brother assured the Cartwrights that they were perfectly capable of finding their way back to the house once the women had finished trying to buy up Virginia City. As the four had ridden their own horses in to town to cover just such a contingency they made little protest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After lunch it was Sue\u2019s turn to slip away, saying she just wanted to see her friends at the hospital and arranging to meet the others in an hour. To salve her conscience she did spend a quarter of an hour at the hospital and then made her way, very nervously, down to Doc\u2019s house. She told herself she couldn\u2019t be making a fool of herself and yet maybe she was. She had always been very regular, but she wanted a child so much that she was scared to believe in her good fortune at conceiving a child so fast. Doc had worked with Sue at the hospital, seen her as she tried to help when his old friends were in trouble and although he knew she was nervous in company at times, he had never seen her in such a state with him. It took fully five minutes for him to get any sense out of her and then only because he guessed what she meant. It amused him to see two Mrs Cartwrights on the same day but he couldn\u2019t reveal Carole\u2019s secret and briskly calmed Sue down, getting straight answers to his questions and then with her permission examined her to make sure. As he straightened up he grinned, \u201cNo imagination is that good young lady, you\u2019re pregnant. I should think that Hoss will just about burst with pride and excitement when you tell him. Now I make it due about the 29th of October.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue nodded, too delighted to find out she was right to find words. Doc had given her a full check up and she was fit and well and he saw no reasons for any problems. There was nothing in her family\u2019s history to indicate trouble and Sue was surprised when Doc said that he would want to see her once a month at least, until the later stages of her pregnancy when he might make it more frequent, For a moment she was worried thinking that he had found something wrong and wasn\u2019t telling her. Doc recognised the fear and grinned \u201cCheer up Sue. Its not for you, it\u2019s for Hoss. I\u2019ve always done it with Carole. Adam\u2019s own mother died when he was born and when Carole was first pregnant Adam was nowhere near fit so I promised Ben to do it for his peace of mind. I had to check Joe\u2019s wife anyway, there was reason to see her unfortunately and after her death Adam got in a fine state. We\u2019d nearly lost him with pneumonia so it wasn\u2019t particularly surprising. Then Carole was a long time in labour, a tilted pelvis and followed that with a very bad miscarriage, I expect you know about that diphtheria, so I kept an eye on her while she carried Marie. She was fine then and Hoss delivered the baby before I even got there. I don\u2019t think Hoss will get as tense as Adam does but he\u2019ll want the very best for you and they are very close friends.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue calmed down, understanding now why he wanted to see her, knowing Hoss well enough to guess just how much he was going to fuss over her once he knew. It would take all her time to stop him treating her as an invalid for the next seven months. Once she was calmer Doc offered his congratulations, sure that Hoss would be pleased and as she left he sat back, wondering just how long it would be before Nita added herself to the list. He had a little bet with himself and hoped he was right that she would conceive quickly too for her sake and Little Joe\u2019s. He rather liked the idea of three new babies close together out on the Ponderosa and so far there was no reason to suspect any repetition of the tragedy of Marie\u2019s death.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue rejoined the others and they were about ready to go home. She couldn\u2019t say anything until she had told Hoss and she hugged her secret to herself, very quiet on the way home. Carole wasn\u2019t much more talkative and it was left to Nita to carry the conversation but as she had become very used to their guests it wasn\u2019t hard. All of them were enjoying the wild land and easy to get on with, free and easy not at all like the pompous guests her father had entertained.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In town the directors of the new Bank started by celebrating their charter but then they had to get down to business and discuss the appointment of various managers, a short list drawn up on their records. They had all the possible candidates present and selected three after an interview. Then the directors had to settle a statement for the press, announcing their new bank and its aims in language that the mass of the people could understand. Dan had already agreed to print their statement the next day, with the grand opening of all branches simultaneously on Thursday with the major ceremony in Virginia City. Flood and O\u2019Brien were going to deal with the other two branches. Fair wanted all four Cartwrights to join him and MacKay for the ceremony. Ben wouldn\u2019t promise that all of them would attend but at least some of the family would be there. Adam and Joe had retreated to one corner to write the statement ignoring all the others, but Adam looked up as Hoss suggested that they ought to officially notify Sharon, as a courtesy to another banker in the same town.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fair shrugged, \u201cHe must already know. We\u2019ve applied to withdraw our personal cash and the Virginia and California accounts, you know that Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure I know that but he hasn\u2019t acknowledged it and all of that was handled in San Francisco. I don\u2019t see it can do no harm. Seems polite to me, not leave him to read it in the paper tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fair obviously thought it was unnecessary and Mackay tended to agree with him \u201cSharon\u2019s gonna be furious anyways, doubtless already is, don\u2019t see it\u2019ll make any impression on him, how we release details.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam came over \u201cI\u2019m with Hoss. What harm can it do? Anyway I don\u2019t see that we should reduce ourselves to Sharon\u2019s level.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced over at Joe \u201cYou\u2019re outvoted Jim, four to two, and I\u2019ll do it myself, so it won\u2019t affect you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fair shrugged, he considered it unnecessary but if that was what they wanted he didn\u2019t really care. They spent half an hour finishing off the statements but not arguing with much that Joe and Adam had written. There were a lot of minor details to be arranged and some of the Cartwright\u2019s money was to be transferred although they were retaining several other accounts, especially the ones in the Bank of Virginia City. Harris had proved a good friend and would retain the main current account for the ranch, housekeeping and personal current accounts even if a lot of money was going into the Nevada bank. That didn\u2019t please Jim Fair but Ben considered he owed loyalty to his old friend and his sons agreed. They were backing the new Nevada bank very heavily but it wasn\u2019t their only commitment. None of it was very exciting but a lot of things had to be decided, the orders for their managers to work to, the degree of independence granted and the amount of freedom of individual directors, what would need approval of the full board. It was well into the evening before the full agenda was completed but the Cartwrights wanted to get home and didn\u2019t bother waiting for food; they had had a decent lunch and could eat at home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe and Adam were deep in conversation, planning how best to celebrate on Thursday. Adam was proposing to take his party to the theatre in the evening as he really ought to head for the west shore on the Friday even though Johnny wasn\u2019t intending leaving until the following Tuesday. Joe argued that after a late night he should have an easy day and go on the Saturday. It was going to be quite tiring enough without starting out tired. Joe felt rather guilty at not going along, but with the list of jobs to be done close at hand growing rapidly there was noway. Even if he was prepared to leave Nita, which he really didn\u2019t want to do, although he would when it was necessary. As it was someone had to go to Sacramento and arrange for the new saw for the sawmill, with so much paperwork to handle Ben couldn\u2019t afford the time to go, Joe and Hoss had tossed for it and Hoss had lost. In many ways it made more sense for Hoss to go, more involved with the sawmills than Joe, he had a better idea of the technical details than Joe did but Joe felt guilty. Hoss had already been away from Sue while he was marking up. Adam just laughed at his brother, with all that Joe had on his plate, his little brother was hardly slacking and with train all the way Hoss would be back in three days.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Joe had drawn ahead of the other two without realising it and suddenly noticing Adam pulled up to wait. Ben had been talking over Sharon\u2019s reaction, or rather lack of it, with Hoss when the pain caught him and involuntarily he pulled on Buck\u2019s reins. The well trained horse stopped catching Hoss by surprise. Hoss pulled up and turned to his father, even in the dim light of the moon Hoss could see that Ben\u2019s face was drawn, his father hunched up in the saddle. Hoss glanced forward but his brothers were well ahead and for the moment he just moved Chub closer to Buck and gripped his father\u2019s arm, \u201cWhatever\u2019s wrong Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Be bit his lip but the pain was easing off again and he forced himself to straighten up, \u201cIt\u2019s okay Hoss. Think I must have eaten something at lunch which didn\u2019t agree with me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure Pa, haven\u2019t looked as bright as usual the last few weeks. Should we get Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben managed a laugh \u201cCome on Hoss. Drag Paul out for a bit of indigestion!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss wasn\u2019t sure that was all but as his father was sitting up straight he decided to leave it, at least until they got home, then in better light maybe he could tell just what was wrong, whether his Pa was really ill or as he said indigestion. Ben said firmly \u201cLet\u2019s catch up with your brothers and Hoss, no need to fuss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss knew that tone of voice and left it at least until they got home. They all went to Adam\u2019s house, where Sue and Nita had joined the others for dinner and by the time they arrived, Ben looked fine. Hoss sensed the excitement in his wife and forgot his worries about his father, all his attention on his lovely redhead. Sue had never looked lovelier, her eyes sparkling, a dress in her favourite green showing off her hair and she only had eyes for him. Hoss still found it impossible sometimes to believe that so much woman belonged to him, so much love and he didn\u2019t know what he\u2019d done to deserve it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole was doing a better job of hiding her excitement but Adam was aware of undercurrents, just thinking that she knew what Sue was up to. He half guessed from the look in Sue\u2019s eyes and prayed that he was right, but whatever it was it was something good and like Joe he was hungry. He wasn\u2019t surprised when they\u2019d eaten that Sue and Hoss decided to head straight home. Nita Joe and Ben decided to go too, leaving Adam with his friends. A quiet word with Carole got Adam no further, like him she could guess but knew no more than he did, he would have to wait and see; not wanting him asking awkward questions she went to fetch fresh coffee, leaving Adam to explain what was planned for the Thursday. While the others discussed his plans, Carole asked quietly \u201cHow did Sharon take it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa went to see him, all very polite, icily so. Just thanked Pa for notifying him but refused to attend the opening, hardly a surprise. Sharon is good at hiding his feelings, he wouldn\u2019t be such a good negotiator if he wasn\u2019t and Pa said he had no more idea of just how cross he was after talking to Sharon than before he went in.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next day was to be a quiet day but that was before Carole and Sue had a chance to talk to their respective husbands Carole was waiting for everyone to go to bed and inevitably it was late before the men decided to break up having been discussing a whole range of topics over brandy. She had been quietly sewing and that alone confirmed Adam\u2019s impression that something was up, the other women had gone to bed and with Marie still waking early Carole would normally have followed In the end shortly after midnight Adam said \u201cSorry I\u2019m whacked, too many petty details all day. I\u2019m gong to bed, help yourselves to anything you want.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In fact all the others went up too but it wasn\u2019t until they were in bed that Adam pulled his wife close \u201cRight young lady, Sue might have some secret but if you don\u2019t know what it is, just what are you up to?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou know me very well don\u2019t you?\u201d she cuddled close to him \u201cI went to see Doc today.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam relit the light and stared down at her \u201cYou\u2019re pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n She smiled \u201cI\u2019d like another girl, company for Marie,\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam hugged her close \u201cDarling that\u2019s wonderful and I don\u2019t care which it is, can\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot yet, give me a few weeks. Due the middle of October and I feel marvellous just like the twins and Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam smiled \u201cI don\u2019t say I won\u2019t worry but I was very good with Marie and as long as you promise to tell me if you\u2019re worried I\u2019ll be as good now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n She kissed him \u201cDo you think Doc saw two of us today?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wouldn\u2019t bet against it and if you think I\u2019m a nervous father you watch Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe was marvellous when Marie was born.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know but you weren\u2019t his wife, he\u2019ll treat her like a piece of delicate porcelain from the moment he knows.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe might be wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t really think so,\u201d He slipped back under the bedclothes, pulling her close \u201cI want to be an uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere was something in her eyes; I\u2019d be surprised if we were. I wonder how Nita and Joe will react if we are both pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shrugged \u201cGood chance she\u2019ll be joining you soon I should think. Anyway for the moment I don\u2019t care about my little brother he\u2019s very happy with his new wife and they have plenty of time. I love you my darling and another child will round out the family nicely, regardless of sex.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to stop then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI love children and I\u2019m in the happy position of being able to provide for all we have, all the time you are fit and well and want children that\u2019s fine, but you come first, you and the children we already have.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole kissed him, \u201cWe\u2019re so very lucky and I love you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the main house Hoss and Sue had gone up to their room almost as soon as they got home taking coffee with them. Nita couldn\u2019t enlighten the two men although each could make a guess and Ben proclaimed himself tired and had gone up to bed, only wanting to lie down; try and ease the ache in his side, which hadn\u2019t really left him since the ride home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe and Nita were happy to have some time alone and curled up by the fire talking about all manner of things, just happy to be together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Upstairs Hoss pulled Sue down on his lap, of them all he was the only one not to have any idea why she was so excited. He found it hard enough to believe that he\u2019d found such a wonderful wife and hadn\u2019t even considered the prospect of children yet, although he wanted them, knowing his brother had been right when he said Hoss needed more than to be Uncle to his kids. Hoss kissed her, \u201cRight young lady, what are you so all fired pleased about? Virginia City might be a novelty to some of them but it sure ain\u2019t fer you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue kissed him unsure how to put it into words, unable to hide the excitement in her eyes. Hoss very puzzled said, \u201cIs it a secret?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot one I could hope to keep for long. Can\u2019t you guess?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned and then as a possibility dawned on him, disbelief showed on his face and Sue kissed him, \u201cI love you and it\u2019s not very surprising, I\u2019m pregnant. The baby is due at the end of October, Doc confirmed it today.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPregnant\u201d Hoss said almost stunned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n She smiled \u201cDarling it does happen you know, what did you expect?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah. I mean I know, but I didn\u2019t…. not so soon. Are you alright? What did Doc say? You mustn\u2019t ride take it easy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fit as a fiddle, everything is fine. You are pleased?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss pulled her very close, \u201cOf course I am we both want children but I\u2019m scared too I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be fine. I know your sister-in-law died but noone could say I\u2019m too small for children. I am so proud and happy to carry your child I just hope he or she is as gentle and kind as their father.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss didn\u2019t know what to say there was no answer except to hold her close and try to accept the idea of his own child, not visible but already very much there. He felt a warmth, a surge of feeling for his wife and the child she was carrying, stronger than anything he had ever known. Perhaps for the first time he understood why Adam had been closer to panic when his children were born than at any other time in his life. The inevitable risks although slight terrified him but along with that was a happiness he couldn\u2019t describe. It was a long time before he was calm enough even to go to bed and even longer before he slept, just lying holding his wife as she slept. Tomorrow would be time enough to tell his family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even so Hoss was awake very early, still finding it almost impossible to believe he slipped out of bed, taking care not to disturb Sue and tucked her up warmly, but he didn\u2019t want to face any of his family, not yet. He needed time to come to terms with the news himself. He dressed and went to sit over by the window staring out and just occasionally looking over at Sue as she slept.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had also been up very early and before anyone else was told he had to speak to his family and so kissing Carole and telling her he\u2019d get breakfast at the main house he had headed over. Curiosity as to Sue\u2019s news was an almost equally strong motive. Ben was already down at table and wasn\u2019t very surprised to see his eldest son but unless Adam already knew more than he did which he was inclined to doubt, Ben couldn\u2019t understand the excitement he could see. Adam poured himself coffee and poked his head into the kitchen and asked for some breakfast easily cajoling Hop Sing, still one of the old Chinaman\u2019s favourite people.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time Adam came back to drink his coffee Joe and Nita were down, surprised to see him so early, but assuming he\u2019d come for enlightenment. Joe sat down next to his brother \u201cIf you want news you\u2019ll have to wait Hoss and Sue disappeared upstairs soon as we got home and that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam grinned \u201cI don\u2019t deny it was one reason I came, but I have news to impart as well.\u201d With that he sat back and drank his coffee to the infuriation of his little brother. Joe shook him as Adam put his cup down, \u201cWhat? And why didn\u2019t you tell us yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFor the simple reason I didn\u2019t know then.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben considered his eldest son carefully and then smiled having placed the look on his face \u201cWhen did Carole tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLast night Pa once we got to bed, She saw Doc yesterday, the baby is due about 16th October.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe clapped his brother on the back, \u201cThat\u2019s marvellous and Carole?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFit and well and so very pleased.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came round the table and gripped his son\u2019s shoulder, so pleased for him, knowing this child meant so very much to Adam and Carole, the final dispelling of the dark cloud which had hung over them last autumn. The child that he knew his son had feared for a while could never be conceived, something very special, Joe felt the same and Adam could read their delight and understanding in both their eyes and even Nita having heard a little of the story could sense that this was special, even though Adam already had three children. Noone attempted to put it into words some things were better left unsaid, but all were equally delighted and it showed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They had calmed down a bit and were halfway through breakfast when Hoss finally decided that he needed coffee and that he needed to tell his family, share his joy. He didn\u2019t realise how much they had guessed, he had been so blind it didn\u2019t seem feasible that they had guessed and he came down rather hesitantly, almost shy at the thought of telling them. Noone commented as he came over and poured coffee, just accepting Adam\u2019s presence without consciously thinking that it was strange. Hoss sipped his coffee very slowly staring into his cup and then with an expression on his face that none of them had ever seen, mingled terror and ecstasy, he looked up \u201cGot some news, Sue\u2019s gonna have a baby. Doc confirmed it yesterday. I can\u2019t believe it yet, I\u2019m gonna be a father.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was the first to go to his big son \u201cI couldn\u2019t be more pleased Hoss and Sue will be a lovely mother, congratulations.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to stay and help her downstairs; she\u2019ll be down in a minute but….\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His brothers broke in unison \u201cI\u2019m not an invalid; pregnancy is a perfectly natural state, not an illness.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked at them and for the first time he grinned naturally, \u201cJust about word perfect I suppose you would know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam smiled \u201cI think it finally penetrated about halfway through Carol\u2019s pregnancy with Marie. After that I only got reminded about twice a day instead of every hour. Very many congratulations Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cThe same and I don\u2019t have to ask how Sue is, she looks blooming.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue was coming downstairs and all three brothers got to their feet and smiled at her. Adam took her hand as she came down the last step, \u201cCongratulations Sue, I\u2019ve always wanted to be an Uncle.\u201d He gave her a hug and then Joe pushed him aside and added his congratulations. Then he turned to his father \u201cI know it\u2019s early but I think we ought to celebrate,\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded \u201cAgreed and the only possible thing at this time of the morning is champagne. Find it Joe I\u2019ll get the glasses.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita had gone over to Sue and added her own very warm congratulations and for a moment Joe watched his lovely wife, wondering how she felt with both her sister-in-laws pregnant, even though they had only been married a very short time. There was a sparkle in her eyes as she congratulated Sue that convinced all of them that she was honestly pleased but Joe had a shrewd suspicion that there was something more. There was nothing he could do about it now, not until they were alone, but then he had every intention of having a long talk to her. In the short time since she had come to stay on the Ponderosa, he had learnt to know her very well, loving her so much and in many ways she was so like Marie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam waited until the first surge of congratulations was over and his father was collecting champagne and then he asked very casually \u201cWhen is the baby due?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue answered him \u201cThe end of October best Doc can guess.\u201d But Hoss knew his elder brother and that question was just too casual and the gleam of excitement in Adam\u2019s eyes wasn\u2019t all for Sue and his child. He moved forward gripping Adam\u2019s shoulders and turning his brother to face him \u201cJust why are you here so early?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam smiled almost wickedly \u201cI\u2019m always early.\u201d Then he laughed \u201cBe beating you this time too brother, Sue wasn\u2019t the only Mrs Cartwright that Paul saw yesterday. Carole is pregnant too, the baby due 16th October and she\u2019s always been early.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stared at his brother for a moment and then pulled him close and gave him a hug, so very pleased for his brother, for rather different reasons from his own. He couldn\u2019t say anything but Adam could read it on his face. Sue was equally delighted to find that Carole would be pregnant at the same time as she was.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once they had all had breakfast they went over to Adam\u2019s house and once all the others had been filled in on the news, the party forgot about work, problems of any description and proceeded to celebrate the prospective arrival of two new Cartwrights.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had managed to get Nita on her own before they went over and insisted she tell him what she was looking so smug about. Nita hesitated but Joe knew her too well and soon got it out of her that she was almost sure that she too was pregnant. For the first time in her life she had missed her monthly cycle and her breasts were tender which one of her friends, a veteran of five babies, had told her was always the first way that she knew. Nita hadn\u2019t intended telling Joe for another couple of weeks once she\u2019d seen Doc but she was fairly certain, Somehow she had known even before she was overdue although she couldn\u2019t have told him how. Joe could read the certainty in her eyes and he accepted it, unsure what he felt but seeing the delight in her eyes and he smiled calmly and said, \u201cI\u2019ll bet that you\u2019re right but until Doc\u2019s confirmed it, lets keep it just between us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou are pleased?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf course I am darling. I want children just as much as you do.\u201d Joe was surprised how calm he was but in fact he didn\u2019t really accept that she was pregnant, she was sure but until Doc confirmed it he could block the thought from his mind. After losing Marie he didn\u2019t dare think about Nita being pregnant and this time it would be his child, his fault if anything happened. He did want children and he had talked it over with Nita and knew she did too, but he\u2019d avoided all thought of the pregnancy and the birth which had to precede the child.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With the knowledge that she too was pregnant Nita was able to join in as enthusiastically as the others in the celebrations and Joe, trying to push Nita\u2019s news to the back of his mind, was the life and soul of the party, rather to his brothers\u2019 surprise. Nita was pleased with Joe\u2019s mood not altogether understanding the reasons behind it. Adam and Hoss were only slightly less exuberant and everyone had a day to remember, just enjoying each other\u2019s company not even leaving the house and yet it was the day which remained in the mind of their visitors long after the rest of their visit merged into the past.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat back and enjoyed his family\u2019s delight so many of them now and two more children on their way. He was very quiet not feeling too well, but so pleased that he could hide his discomfort and relax enjoy his sons\u2019 and daughters\u2019 pleasure.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Although the opening of the Bank combined with a ceremonial dinner and theatre show was more spectacular, with Fair and Mackay laying on the very best entertainment that Virginia City could offer, the more formal occasion was almost an anticlimax after the sheer joy of the previous day. Still everything went off very well and it made a nice ending to his friends\u2019 visit for Adam. He was going to spend a quiet morning with them the next day and then say goodbye and head for the west shore. He was taking long time hands Sven Christiansund and Jackson with him and one of the hands he hired on the drive, John Wilson who had some experience of lumbering. All three had shown some initiative at times and it was the most useful combination of hands that his father could come up with. Even so Ben knew his eldest son was going to be very pushed especially in an area he knew less well than the rest of the ranch. Always before he had managed to send two of his sons to mark up and all had been mature by the time they were taking on really large scale contracts, able to take their full share. This year even without their recent marriages Adam would have had to cope alone, there was just too much to do.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the intervals of the formal events on Thursday Adam had done his best to convince his father he could manage without undue strain but he knew he hadn\u2019t got too far. Adam was worried about his father who hadn\u2019t brightened up as it got warmer as he had hoped. There was little to put his finger on and Ben denied that anything was wrong so Adam came to the conclusion that maybe it was just his father taking Beth\u2019s death rather harder than he had hoped. On touching on the topic Ben changed the subject rapidly and Adam didn\u2019t want to press him and allowed his father to do so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Johnny and his party were leaving for San Francisco on the Tuesday and two days later Hoss would have to follow them at least as far as Sacramento, combining the ordering of new saws with signing a contract of the ranch and delivering some horses to Scott. It meant being away rather longer as he couldn\u2019t use the train but the weather was quite good, the passes clear and the jobs had to be done. Hoss was very loathe to leave Sue now that she was pregnant but he knew he had to with a busy summer planned and she had provided him with a long shopping list, as had Nita on Joe\u2019s assurance that Hoss wouldn\u2019t mind. Sue insisted she was fine and Hoss had had a long chat with Paul, who had also been most reassuring. He trusted Doc and had relaxed at least in these early stages, knowing his father was there to look after her. Hoss still found it very hard to believe and was tending to wander around rather in a dream, miles a\\away a lot of the time. He sat just watching her as she sowed or chatted to Nita and Ben had never seen him so happy. Hoss had always been the placid one of the family, usually content, but there was a very much more positive joy about him since his marriage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even Joe was going to have to be away from the house for a few days with both the spring roundup and the road to the west shore to complete, he would be working too far from the house to come home each night as Nita had told him very forcibly. Little Joe was less unhappy at leaving her than he would have wanted anyone to know. Slowly since she\u2019d told him about her pregnancy her certainty had rubbed off and he\u2019d begun to believe it. There was something in her eyes and even without Doc\u2019s confirmation he knew she was right and he had begun to worry. He was scared and confused, hiding it from Nita as best he could not wanting to spoil her delight. Noone else knew about the baby and they couldn\u2019t understand his mood. Joe had seen the odd looks he got from his family and he needed time alone to come to terms with his fears and calm himself down before he could face talking it over with anyone, even his father. He knew that Ben had faced the same situation and would understand how he felt and if anyone could help it would be his Pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was proposing to see Johnny\u2019s party off for his brother and ride out the following day, until then he had to give his father a hand with the mass of paperwork, leaving Hoss to organise the drainage and levelling necessary to complete the foundations of both their houses, Adam\u2019s plans were clear enough for the work to carry on with the minimum of supervision but Hoss and Joe both wanted it to get started quickly, eager to see their brother\u2019s creations taking real physical shape. Hoss had the added incentive of getting Sue moved in and the house comfortable before she became too heavily pregnant, he was very glad the three houses would be close to each other. Adam hadn\u2019t been far away, but too far when Carole was pregnant especially after her miscarriage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It seemed very quiet to Sue and Nita when all the men had left on their various errands apart from Ben and even he was very busy and seemed withdrawn, often eating his meals of a tray as he worked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was feeling increasingly ill, the pain in is side was much more frequent and he wasn\u2019t hungry. Eating at odd times he could disguise how little he was eating and often throwing food out for the birds not even Hop Sing realised just how little.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n However Hop Sing knew that his master well enough after so many years to realise that he wasn\u2019t well and he tried his best to find out what was wrong, with no obvious injury and no fever Hop Sing wasn\u2019t at all sure. Failing that as Ben firmly avoided all questions he tried to persuade his boss to either send for Little Joe or go and see Doc. Ben wouldn\u2019t hear of either alternative, he was alright just a little under the weather, nothing anyone could do it would clear in its own good time and he ordered Hop Sing not to fuss. The old Chinaman had been with him too long to take much notice of such orders and continued to press him finally getting a grudging promise to go and see Doc next time he was in town, but Ben insisted he was too busy to spare time for a special visit.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue and Nita had taken to spending a good part of the day over with Carole, it left Ben free to get on and she was helping with sowing and ordering for their new homes. The three women from very different backgrounds and different in many ways had slipped into a surprisingly easy relationship very fast. Only Carole had known Ben over a long period and he was as good as his sons at hiding how he felt, so he was able to hide from Sue and Nita just how ill he felt, He was becoming more drawn and thin but very gradually and seeing him every day they hadn\u2019t consciously taken it in, both very involved with the new lives that were growing inside them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Then one evening three days after Joe had ridden out Nita was unable to sleep and came down sometime after she had headed for bed, wanting to get herself a book to read. She forgot about books instantly as she came down the stairs to see Ben leaning forward his hands on the table as white as a sheet, his face wet with sweat. Nita ran over to him but the pain was going off and Ben with a great effort got a grip on himself and straightened up, wiping his face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita helped him over to a chair, \u201cDo you want a drink Pa? What\u2019s wrong? Should I call Sue, she\u2019s a nurse?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben took her hand \u201cCalm down child I\u2019m alright, Just cramp. It can be agonizing for a few moments, all gone now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHave you had it before?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf and on I think most people do, nothing to worry about, just sitting in one position at that desk for too long.\u201d Ben had regained some colour and seemed to smile quite naturally at her and slowly Nita calmed down. She\u2019d never been close to her father or any other older relatives maybe as Ben said it was very common but she couldn\u2019t help worrying. As he obviously wanted to be left alone she did exactly that, collecting her book and going back to bed but she was determined to talk to Sue in the morning.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Only then did Ben move to pour himself a large brandy. He was becoming increasingly sure that something was seriously wrong but the chances of Doc being able to help were slight and he put off finding out, even though he knew it was cowardly. Even less did he want any of his family to know; suddenly he could understand why Beth hadn\u2019t wanted to tell even him about her illness. Especially now when all of them had found such happiness for a little while at least they should be able to enjoy it and maybe like Joe\u2019s injury on the west shore nature would heal whatever was wrong on its own.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After a very bad night Ben found it hard to summon up the energy to get out of bed the next day and to try and ignore the nagging pain in his whole stomach, which had been there all night, He was late down and both Sue and Nita had finished their breakfasts. Nita had told Sue exactly what she had seen the previous evening and when Ben did come down Sue studied him carefully,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben did his best to hide his pain. In three days Joe would be home and he was due to go to town. He could see Doc then without causing all the comment which was inevitable if he called Doc out to the ranch and which would reach his sons. Sue hadn\u2019t been a nurse for so many years without learning to recognize pain and now she was looking for it she realised just how fast Ben had grown thin and aged over the last few days. Wrapped up in herself she hadn\u2019t noticed, now it seemed very obvious, especially as she thought back to the way he had been at Christmas. She met Nita\u2019s eye and the two girls were equally worried. They waited until he was sitting down with coffee and then Sue said, \u201cPa you\u2019re not at all well, please tell us what\u2019s wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNothing. I\u2019m okay, just tired.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa I was a nurse for more than ten years. I don\u2019t fool that easy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed but he smiled at Sue, \u201cOkay I give in, I don\u2019t feel too special. Something I\u2019ve eaten I guess, maybe last Thursday. I\u2019ll go and have a word with Doc when I go to town if it hasn\u2019t cleared.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue frowned, \u201cYou haven\u2019t been very well for weeks Pa and I don\u2019t think you ought to let it slide. Send one of the men in for Doc, you know he won\u2019t mind,\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo I don\u2019t think that\u2019s necessary, just one of those things, nature has to find its own cure. Doubt Doc can do much anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita lent forward closer to Ben \u201cWill you let me send for Joe Pa? He can come back this evening, at least talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo I told you I\u2019m okay. Joseph will be here in what three days. Probably be fine by then,\u201d Ben got up, \u201cNow I must get on, the men need paying or we\u2019ll have a mutiny on our hands.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He was so very definite that Sue and Nita didn\u2019t know what to do, recent additions to the family and in some ways still finding their feet; it was hard to overrule Ben. They took their coffee up to Sue\u2019s room and Nita asked what she thought was wrong. Sue couldn\u2019t be sure but she was convinced it was much more than a simple stomach upset. It had gone on for too long and Ben looked too ill. She was sure that he had worsened rapidly in the last few days and thought he might be slightly feverish now. He certainly ought to see a doctor but she didn\u2019t know how to make him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita made up her mind, in the brothers\u2019 absence Carole knew Ben better than anyone. She hadn\u2019t been over since Adam left, too busy first seeing off her guests and then tidying up after them and it was several days since she had seen Ben. Nita said \u201cYou stay here just in case. You\u2019d know what to do better than me, I\u2019m going to get Carole, we\u2019ll see what she thinks.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue agreed with that and sat by the fire reading as she waited; occasionally glancing over at Ben who was working solidly if not very efficiently, trying to ignore the pain by concentrating on the figures in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole had known Adam was slightly uneasy about his father but she was horrified when Nita arrived and told her just how ill he seemed and Sue\u2019s opinion that he was ill and needed a doctor now. Carole quickly collected the children\u2019s things and wrapped them up with Nita\u2019s help, while Kam Su harnessed the buggy for her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben wasn\u2019t altogether surprised to see Nita come in with Carole and the children. When Nita left with Sue staying, he had half guessed what the pair were up to. Carole took no notice of his pretence of work and going over took his pen away, \u201cPa look at me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben lent back in his chair and looked up at Carole, smiling faintly. \u201cThey\u2019ve called you in to bully me have they?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole felt his forehead and then kissed him \u201cNot before time by the look of you Pa. You look terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thanks for those kind words.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole knelt down taking his hand \u201cPlease Pa what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s nothing, no need to worry. I\u2019ve already said that I\u2019ll see Doc when I go to town.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI want to send for him now. I think you have a fever, belong in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not necessary I told Sue and I don\u2019t want Joe worried, it\u2019ll clear up in a day or so.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole sighed getting back to her feet, \u201cSmall wonder you moan at your sons being obstinate. Do you want some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPlease.\u201d Ben picked up his pen and returned to the figures in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue and Nita were astonished as Carole just left him to it without further argument. Nita waited until they were in the dining room and then said \u201cIs that all you\u2019re going to say to him?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole smiled faintly \u201cHe\u2019s not going to listen to anything we say, I know that expression, it\u2019s identical to Adam, so why keep on at him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue said angrily \u201cBecause he\u2019s ill?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole looked from Sue to Nita \u201cDo you think I need telling? Adam was worried anyway and in these few days he\u2019s lost pounds and I\u2019ve seldom seen him look worse, even when he\u2019s been hurt. I just said it was useless to argue with him. We\u2019ll give him his coffee and then go out the back way. Send two messages, one to Doc and the other to Joe. I\u2019m overruling him, a democracy in this family, he\u2019s out voted three to one by the members present.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue relaxed as she realised Carole was going to act and said, \u201cI\u2019ll stay here keep an eye on him, you two can send the messages.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita was surprised when Carole asked the man to tell Joe to return at once, rather than that evening and as he rode out she asked \u201cAre you that worried?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole shrugged, \u201cI\u2019m no doctor, not even a nurse like Sue but I\u2019ve seen Pa almost dropping with anxiety and exhaustion, after a fight, after a long struggle to put back a dislocated knee and I don\u2019t think despite his efforts to hide it I have ever seen him look worse than he does now. The way he\u2019s gone downhill in the few days since I last saw him really frightens me. It\u2019s probably unnecessary but one of his sons should be here. I love him but I\u2019ve only known him a few years, his sons have been part of him for so long and I think you know how close they all are.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSuppose Doc can\u2019t help?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole shivered, \u201cDon\u2019t let\u2019s even think of it, Pa\u2019s not all that old and the Cartwrights are survivors, Anyway Doc is marvellous he\u2019s pulled us all through when things looked a bit black.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They went back in to join Sue and try and keep the children quiet while Ben got on with his work. Carole knew it wasn\u2019t going to be the most popular of moves but she was sure Adam would have done the same if he had been there. Half an hour later they were all very glad that she had done so. The pain caught Ben suddenly, the nagging ache giving way to so violent a pain that he couldn\u2019t hide it, slumping forward on his desk, his hands pressed to his stomach trying to ease the agony.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue and Carole reached him at the same time and Carole was glad of the experience Sue had that she didn\u2019t and looked to her for guidance. Until the pain eased there was little they could do and Nita decided she could most usefully take the children away. Worried for Ben, she left them with Hop Sing and came back just as Ben tried to straighten up,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue said \u201cBed for you right now, can you manage with my help or should we get a couple of the men to carry you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t need….\u201d Ben bit his lip as the pain threatened to overwhelm him again and Carole gripped his hand \u201cYou do need to go to bed. I have already sent for Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben wanted to protest but in his heart he knew it was necessary \u201cDon\u2019t worry, be okay. I can get myself to bed been doing it a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue moved in next to him as he made it to his feet, \u201cCome on lean on me I\u2019m strong.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo what, it can hardly affect the baby. Carole get on the other side, Nita hot bottles for the bed, warm cloths.\u201d Slowly Sue and Carole helped Ben up to his room, thanking their lucky stars for the wide staircase and then Nita brought in hot bottles. Ben had sunk down on the bed bent almost double as the pain caught him again and all three women were very worried, hoping Doc would soon appear.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Between them Carole and Sue managed to get Ben into his nightshirt and settled in bed, wrapping the blankets tightly round him as he was shivering feeling cold, definitely feverish now. Ben shut his eyes no longer able to hide the pain and very scared. Fond as he was of his daughters-in-law, it was his sons that he wanted. Scared that he was dying and that he\u2019d never see them again, not have any chance to tell them just what their love, support and friendship had meant to him over the years.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The three girls went over to the window and keeping their voices low, Carole asked \u201cHave you any idea Sue, what\u2019s wrong I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue was almost as scared as Ben, she\u2019d felt the extreme rigidity of his abdomen and knew the pain was there. Too often over the years she\u2019d seen patients with those symptoms dead within a couple of days. She knew how much his father meant to Hoss and the others and she had grown very fond of him herself, She tried not to worry the others but they could both see the fear in her eyes. Sue shrugged \u201cIt\u2019s more than an upset stomach anyway, I\u2019m no doctor, could be several things. I\u2019m just glad that we sent for Doc. All we can do is keep warm cloths round his stomach and back, ease the pain and tension with any luck.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had found it very difficult to sleep since leaving the house, the days were fine so busy with so many decisions to make he had no time to stop and think, but at night once the paperwork was done, which didn\u2019t usually take long, he had to try and come to terms with the prospective arrival of his own child. Memories of Marie\u2019s death, the hours he\u2019d sat by so helplessly trying to give her the strength to hang on, came back with renewed force, just the time he\u2019d spent in hell not even the peace and calm with which she\u2019d died. The days of emptiness, shock and pain when he had lent so heavily on his family and this time he had made Nita pregnant, she was carrying his child. He remembered his brother\u2019s near panic without real reason and the arguments he\u2019d used to try and calm Adam down. Adam had said that they helped but Joe couldn\u2019t think why, they seemed irrelevant now. For several nights he hardly slept and when he did his sleep was broken by nightmares. With several things to keep an eye on he was able to camp alone so noone else heard when he woke himself up, sometimes screaming. Then he slowly he began to calm down, he remembered Marie\u2019s words as she lay dying, trying to reassure Carole and Adam, whom she loved, that the situation was very different. Now Marie seemed to be telling him that Nita was built to carry children unlike his petite first wife and whatever else her life had lacked, physically Nita had always had the best of everything. Joe made his way up to the lake one evening and there, by Marie\u2019s grave; he finally calmed down and found the strength to put his fears to the back of his mind. He knew that there would be dark times in the months between now and the birth of his child but it was what both he and Nita wanted and somehow, with the help of his beloved Marie, he\u2019d hide his fears from his equally beloved second wife. Joe didn\u2019t understand why Marie and the memories he had of her helped so much but he thanked God that twice in his life he had found such wonderful women who had given and were still giving him strength and support whenever he needed it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Much calmer and knowing that he could face the world when Nita broke the news of his pregnancy in a few days and show that he was as delighted to be a father as either of his brothers. Joe relaxed and began joking with the men in a way that he hadn\u2019t for days. Much more his usual self and they were pleased to see it, having missed his normal badinage as they worked. Very wrapped up in own thoughts and fears for Nita and his unborn child, Joe hadn\u2019t been aware of the rest of his family, he knew that they were all busy and had hardly given them a thought, so it came as a big shock when a messenger arrived from the house. Joe had sat by Marie\u2019s grave all night and he hadn\u2019t slept but he hadn\u2019t missed it, or shown any sign of being tired as he joked with Jos\u00e9 and the others, until one of the men that Carole had sent out found him. Uncertain where Joe would be she had sent to the roundup and to the road but the message was the same in both cases, would Joe come home as soon as he could, his father wasn\u2019t at all well. Carole had added that along with Sue and Nita she had overruled Ben, who hadn\u2019t wanted his son bothered, but the mere fact that the girls had felt it important enough to ask him to come at once was enough to terrify Joe. None of them panicked over nothing and Sue was a qualified nurse. Joe had seen his father was slightly under the weather for the past month or so, but like Adam he had put it down to the after effects of a cold and missing Beth, not dreaming that anything was seriously wrong. Overtired the shock hit Joe hard and Jos\u00e9 insisted on getting him a drink while someone re-saddled Cochise for him as they had just settled for lunch when the messenger arrived.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was grateful for the whisky but refused Jos\u00e9\u2019s offer to ride back to the house with him, he was perfectly alright and preferred to be on his own. He did promise to send word as soon as he knew anything, Jos\u00e9 had been foreman for them a long time and he almost hero-worshipped his boss, a good friend to them all on numerous occasions. Joe set out as straight as possible for the house, pushing Cochise hard but even so he knew that it would take nearly three hours to get home. Carole hadn\u2019t been able to tell Joe what was wrong as she didn\u2019t know and had done her best to reassure him, but she\u2019d had to send for him and asked for his immediate return, not that night, so Joe rode home with fear a cold lump on his chest, just needing to get to his father. He trusted in his sure-footed pinto, who seemed to sense his urgency and made good time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a little while after the girls had got Ben to bed, lying down with the warmth of the bottles Sue had placed round him eased Ben, but it didn\u2019t last. As the pain got worse he found it hard to lie still and now he was very glad that Carole had sent for Doc and Joe. Carole went over to sit by him as she would have done for Adam, wiping his face pushing his hair back and trying to reassure him. Ben was glad she was there and tried to give her messages for his sons in case he couldn\u2019t hang on until they were there. Carole did her best to calm him, he would be alright but she listened to the increasingly incoherent murmurings, sure that Ben wasn\u2019t going to be able to rest until he\u2019d passed on what he needed to say. Nita was close to tears, unused to a sick room, the overheated room and the restless murmurings of the sick man. Ben had always seemed so strong to her and now suddenly he was reduced to this. Sue put her arm round the younger woman and gently took her over to the window, insisting that she drink a brandy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole waited until Ben had finished the messages he needed to leave for his sons and then she kissed his forehead. \u201cPa, all three of them know that. You\u2019ve never needed words between you. You\u2019ll be alright but if anything should happen none of them need telling how much they mean to you, anymore than you need telling how much they love you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben held Carole\u2019s hand comforted by her words and slightly calmer. In his sons\u2019 absence she was the closest person to him. Too often he had been the strength she lent on when ill or scared for Adam and now she was glad to be able to do a little to repay the favour. Eventually Nita, who was looking out of the window, saw Doc approaching and told the others. They were all relieved to see him and Sue slipped out to meet him and have a quiet word first.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc had been surprised to get the summons, apart from actual injuries the Cartwrights virtually never called him out, all remarkably fit except for the occasional cold. Ben was just about his oldest friend and he had already lost Beth, so he hurried out to the ranch as fast as he could, knowing that Sue wouldn\u2019t worry him unless it was necessary. Kirk came over to take the horse, he had seen how worried Carole was when she came out to send the messages and like many of the long term hands he thought one hell of a lot of his boss. Doc went in to find Sue waiting for him, it didn\u2019t take long for her to fill him in on the symptoms and knowing the chances of being able to help were slim Doc went up very worried. He smiled at Ben, \u201cWell what\u2019s all this, leave it until you\u2019re forced to send for me. No wonder your sons are obstinate. Let\u2019s have a look.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc examined him carefully, trying not to hurt his old friend, but it didn\u2019t take long to make a diagnosis, all the classic symptoms were there and he sat back, letting Sue tuck Ben up again. He was very serious and Ben knew him too well, reading the truth in his old friend\u2019s eyes, whatever was wrong, there was a good chance it would prove fatal. Ben smiled faintly, no longer wanting to avoid the issue. \u201cCome on Doc, you\u2019ve had to tell me bad news before. I don\u2019t go to pieces. What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc felt his forehead, Ben was running a fever but not particularly high. \u201cSome questions first Ben. How long has this been going on?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust over a month, odd twinges at first, days apart, thought it was cramp or indigestion, maybe I wanted to think that was all it was.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhen did it get worse?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGot more consistent, ached most of the time about a week back but I\u2019ve only felt really ill the last three or four days, much worse this morning. Kept me awake most of the night too. What is it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAppendicitis Ben. There\u2019s no doubt of that, all the classic symptoms.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben considered that for a minute, it wasn\u2019t a novel idea, he had wondered if that was what was wrong and he knew it could often prove fatal but he smiled, \u201cNothing that you can do then?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc shrugged \u201cMaybe not.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the prognosis Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The two men were oblivious of the three girls who had all clustered at the foot of the bed and for a minute Ben\u2019s question seemed to hang in the air. Doc stared down at his old friend, knowing the true answer and knowing that he owed his old friend the truth. He sighed heavily and then met Ben\u2019s gaze \u201cYou know the appendix, a useless little organ. Sometimes for no known reason it gets inflamed that\u2019s what has happened to you. The poison inside it makes you feel ill, causes the pain but all the time the poison stays within the appendix, your body can fight it and it will ease off. If it gets too bad the appendix ruptures, spreading the poison throughout your body and then it kills.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMine?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt hasn\u2019t ruptured yet Ben but with the slow steady build up. I am afraid that the chances are it will. You seem to be losing the battle against the poison.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben considered that for a moment, his gaze resting on each of his son\u2019s wives, almost seeing his sons standing next to them. \u201cSo it will kill me. When?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s one other possibility Ben. I could operate take the whole appendix out. It\u2019s a fairly new idea, first done maybe ten years ago. I\u2019ve done two before.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to them?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc bit his lip, \u201cThey both died. The shock of the operation was too much for one and in the other case it had already ruptured.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes for a moment, trying to force himself to think straight. He wasn\u2019t a young man now, he couldn\u2019t take what his sons could, \u201cHow old was the one who died from shock?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNearly fifty.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m nearly sixty Doc. You operate and the chances are very slight?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid so.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWithout?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt might still subside.\u201d the tone of voice Doc couldn\u2019t help told Ben just how remote a possibility Doc considered it and Ben smiled, \u201cEither way I\u2019m probably going to die?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc couldn\u2019t answer but Ben could read it in his eyes, \u201cI want to see my sons. Even when it ruptures I can hang on for a while. Joe is on his way. I want you to send for Adam and Hoss. They can both be here within twenty four hours; I\u2019ll hang on that long. No operation Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt has to be your decision Ben. All I can do is to try and ease the pain a little.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know Doc, noone said that you were a miracle worker, I\u2019ve had a good run, so much given to me. I\u2019m not complaining.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole was in tears but she went down to the bunkhouse to do as Ben had asked and send for his elder sons. Jess came over to her, seeing how upset she was, \u201cWhatever\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole bit her lip not daring to look at him, fighting for control, \u201cPa\u2019s dying, virtually no chance. He wants Adam and Hoss. Will you get someone to go to town, telegraph Hoss. I\u2019ve written it out. With trains Hoss can be back early tomorrow morning. Then someone must ride to the west shore to find Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo Jess, you\u2019re barely back on your feet. I\u2019ve written Adam a letter and it\u2019s not going to make much difference how he\u2019s told. You go and he\u2019ll just have something else to worry him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Jess gave way and called out two hands impressing on both the urgency of the situation. Even with the road part way round the lake it would take near enough twelve hours to reach Adam and the same for him to get back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole went back in and poured herself a drink as Doc came back down, \u201cAre you going?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo I\u2019ll stay. There\u2019s nothing much I can do but Ben matters to me too and my wife knows where I am in an emergency.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t you operate, at least try?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf it was Adam or one of his brothers I would but Ben isn\u2019t young, doesn\u2019t have the same resilience.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s a Cartwright, a fighter.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt has to be his decision Carole. There\u2019s still a chance that his body will overcome the poison and it won\u2019t rupture, more of a chance than if I operated. I haven\u2019t achieved anything yet by operating. Anyway neither of us have the right to overrule him, deprive him of his last chance of seeing his sons. You know as well as I do what they mean to him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole nodded but she could see Doc had given up all hope for his old friend. Something in her rebelled at the passive acceptance of defeat. Both she and David would have died of diphtheria if Adam had accepted what was obviously inevitable and she had watched him recover twice when it seemed impossible; but Doc was right in one thing only Joe could overrule his father. She washed her face to give herself time to regain control and then went back upstairs to rejoin Sue and Nita by Ben\u2019s bed. Doc had given him a dose of morphine and that had dulled the pain so he was lying still half dozing, but his fever was mounting and he didn\u2019t seem to know any of them. Sue was sure that he was dying, she had seen it often enough and wasn\u2019t at all sure that he could hang on until his sons returned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita wasn\u2019t used to death, she\u2019d never been close to it before and she was scared, feeling so helpless. What little they could do to help Sue and Carole were far better equipped to do, Sue a nurse and Carole so much closer to Ben than they were. She knew her husband well enough to know just how hard he was going to take it and didn\u2019t know how she could help him either. Eventually she slipped downstairs hearing Marie cry at least she could take care of the children.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All of them were waiting for Joe to arrive, his brothers couldn\u2019t get back before the following morning at the earliest, but depending where he\u2019d been working he could arrive at any time. Even in the two hours since Doc had first examined him, Ben\u2019s condition had deteriorated, his fever rising fast and Doc knew that his old friend had lost the battle against the poison in his appendix and it was only a matter of time until it ruptured and then he\u2019d be dead within twenty four hours. Weakened already it would only be his will which would keep him alive long enough to see his sons. As he straightened up from yet another examination Carole read the truth in his eyes and once they were away from the bed she asked quietly \u201cThere\u2019s no chance is there?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc shook his head \u201cJust a matter of hours, the poison is taking control, the way his fever is rising. I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d Carole stared blankly out of the window. She loved her father-in-law very dearly, he was a marvellous man and she fought against acceptance. Then she saw Joe riding in \u201cIts Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc patted her shoulder \u201cAt least Ben will have one of his sons and his three daughters, he\u2019s not dying alone.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe dismounted in the yard, threw the reins to Kirk, who was waiting, and wordlessly hurried inside. Nita has seen him rise in and she put Marie down and came over to him. Joe could see that she was upset and Nita answered the question in his eyes,\u201dPa has appendicitis. Doc is here but there is only a very slim chance, he\u2019s very sick.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t dare trust his voice and kissed her briefly and then took the stairs three at a time to go to his father. He was oblivious of everyone else in the room, shocked by what he saw, his worst fears realised. Ben was dozing restlessly and Joe felt his father\u2019s forehead, feeling the fever seeing all too clearly what Nita had said. In the few days since he\u2019d seen his father Ben had aged years he was drawn and thin, pain etched deep in his face and the signs of death all too clear. Joe stared down at his father not even aware of time, trying to accept that his Pa was dying, imagine a world without him. It was all so sudden he just felt stunned unable to think, he\u2019d been worried since getting the message but it had come up so very quickly. Eventually Carole came over and took his arm, \u201cJoe while he\u2019s sleeping we must talk.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe let her lead him over to the window seat where Nita sat down, putting her arms round him trying to comfort him in the only way she knew how. Slightly more in control Joe looked up at Doc, \u201cIsn\u2019t there anything you can do?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc again explained that it wouldn\u2019t kill until the appendix ruptured, spreading peritonitis throughout the abdomen. He\u2019d prayed that it would subside but there was virtually no chance of that now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole sat down opposite Joe and said \u201cThere is an operation to cut out the whole appendix. Its a useless organ, you can live without it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe frowned, \u201cDoc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve done it twice Joe, both patients died. Your father is no longer young I don\u2019t think he can stand the shock of the operation; I\u2019ll just kill him today.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cInstead of which the poison will kill him, when? Tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe tomorrow. Ben wants to hang on, see Adam and Hoss as well as you. We\u2019ve sent for them, they\u2019ll be here sometime tomorrow. It was his decision Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan he?\u201d Joe asked despairingly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc shrugged \u201cHe has a very strong will, it might keep him alive until they get here, at least he has you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At that moment there was a murmur from the bed and Joe went straight over kneeling down by it taking his father\u2019s hand \u201cI\u2019m here Pa, just lie quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe wiped his father\u2019s face, \u201cAdam and Hoss will be here as soon as they can, hold on Pa. We all love you so very much, you know that don\u2019t you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSuch good sons.\u201d Ben remembered something he\u2019d wanted to tell Joe, \u201cYou\u2019ve got a good wife again Joseph, mustn\u2019t worry. Nita\u2019s not like Marie, she\u2019ll bear you fine children. Bound to be scared I know I was but I know Nita will be fine. So glad all three of you found such wonderful girls.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe couldn\u2019t help the tears streaming down his face, even while dying his father was trying to help him as he had all Joe\u2019s life. Joe\u2019s voice wasn\u2019t very coherent as he tried to tell his father just how much he meant to them all and how very grateful they all were, not just for material things but the love and support they\u2019d always known. There just weren\u2019t the words as he tried to thank his father, not just for himself but also for his brothers, unsure that they would be able to get back in time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was too weak to talk much, to really say what he wanted, that he\u2019d been repaid ten fold for anything he\u2019d done by the love his sons gave him, but he was calmer with Joe there and he drifted asleep hearing not only his youngest son\u2019s voice but Adam\u2019s words as they\u2019d stood by David\u2019s bedside a few short days ago. Carole was right, words weren\u2019t really needed between him and his sons.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Ben slipped into sleep Nita passed her husband a hankie and Joe wiped his face trying to get control, wishing his brothers were there, a decision almost made. He stood up and went back to the window, staring out; remembering other times when they had had gambled and won. He gripped the sides of the window for support and beckoned Doc to come over. Carole and Nita came too, leaving Sue to tend the sick man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned round, very bleak but under control, Nita had never seen him look that way before, but Carole had and thought she knew what he was going to say. For the moment Joe was oblivious even of his wife, only aware of his father\u2019s uneven breathing and the Doc. \u201cPa is dying isn\u2019t he? Very slim chance he\u2019ll hold on until tomorrow afternoon. That\u2019s the earliest that Adam can be back. Hoss maybe in the morning if he can get a train.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf it was anyone else Joe I\u2019d say they would be dead by morning but Ben has a very strong will, he may just hang on.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you operate?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll kill him, almost uncertainly.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlmost?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s weak now Joe. The shock of an operation at his age…\u201d Doc shook his head.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shut his eyes for a moment but he could only see one way to go, \u201cYou just said that he has a strong will to live. Even if it\u2019s only one chance in a hundred let\u2019s try and use it to save his life, I want you to operate.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYour father said No, he wanted to see your brothers.\u201d Doc was scared that he would kill his old friend his other patients had been fitter to start with and they\u2019d died and anyway he felt the need to put Ben\u2019s own point of view forward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe bit his lip but his voice was firm, \u201cI\u2019m over ruling my father. Operate now before he gets any weaker.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole moved up close to Joe \u201cDoc, I agree with Joe. I believe it\u2019s what Adam would want and Hoss. However slight the chance we must take it and this is the only way.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita put her arm round her husband feeling the tension in him, \u201cPa\u2019s in no state to think clearly. It has to be Joe\u2019s decision.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc hesitated \u201cYou know how long a shot it is Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe turned back to the window, knowing how hard it would be on his father not to see Adam and Hoss and on his brothers to come home and find him already dead, because of their brother\u2019s interference. Even if they hated him for it at first they would understand as Carole did. It had to be his decision and however hard the choice, he had to take the only chance there was to save his father\u2019s life, even if that chance was virtually non-existent. His mind made up Joe squared his shoulders as he turned back, \u201cPlease operate Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole let Sue help Doc prepare the sick man and collect what was needed and for a moment she stood by Nita, who could see the anguish in her husband\u2019s eyes and didn\u2019t know how to help. Carole gripped Joe\u2019s arm, \u201cJoe I don\u2019t know whether it helps, but if you hadn\u2019t spoken up when you did, I was going to try and persuade you to overrule Pa. I told Doc before you came back that we ought to try everything, not just give up on him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was still Joe\u2019s decision but her support did help a little and he turned \u201cThanks Carole, I know Adam and Hoss will understand in time. I haven\u2019t any choice.\u201d He kissed her forehead and then took Nita in his arms, burying his face against her hair, grateful for her warmth and strength, so very cold with shock and worry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole and Sue helped Doc get the patient ready. Doc had to give Ben chloroform, needing his patient asleep, even though that on its own might kill him. At least he had an experienced nurse and Sue could keep Ben under with the very minimum necessary, knowing the risks as well as he did. Hop Sing boiled water and came up to help. Kam Su and Jess were both downstairs and would look after the children.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After a sleepless night and the shock of discovering how ill his father was Joe looked terrible, very pale and drawn. He\u2019d asked Doc to operate, one of the hardest decisions he\u2019d ever made, maybe only equalled by the one not to attempt a rescue when Adam stopped to parley with the Indians. Now there was nothing he could do that Carole or Hop Sing couldn\u2019t and he sat quietly by the head of the bed opposite Sue as she kept his father anaesthetised. Joe held his father\u2019s hand in his and prayed as Doc began the operation. Joe lost all track of time, aware of his wife standing behind him gripping his shoulders he lent back against her glad of her warmth but ninety percent of his concentration was on his father. Feeling the pulse weak and thready in his father\u2019s wrist and watching as though mesmerized the ugly hole in his father\u2019s body as Doc cut through the skin, fat and muscle to reach the seat of the trouble. Joe had no idea of time, he couldn\u2019t go back on his decision now, he could only pray that his father would understand why he had made it. Ben was weakening fast and Joe could feel it and Doc hadn\u2019t even reached the appendix yet. Every minute seemed to last an hour and Joe could have shouted at Doc to hurry but he knew that Doc was doing his best. Joe tried to pray but he couldn\u2019t find the words and he began to feel so very guilty, all he had achieved was to kill his father and deny his last wishes to see all his sons.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc didn\u2019t dare rush, even though he was equally aware how weak his patient was as he fought to minimise the loss of blood, but too hasty a move and the swollen appendix he could see would rupture anyway and that would be the end. It amazed Doc that it hadn\u2019t ruptured already swollen to more than ten times its normal size. He didn\u2019t dare call Sue from her job and he said \u201cCarole how steady are your hands?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAs steady as they have to be.\u201d Carole was pale but determined. Ben had helped her so often, now he needed her help in return.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc ordered her to wash her hands and then infinitely carefully he lifted the swollen organ clear of the surrounding tissue. \u201cI want you to hold this for me while I tie of the end. Very carefully it must be about ready to rupture.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole slid her hands in next to Doc\u2019s biting her lip and controlling the revulsion she felt, holding it feeling the heat of the inflammation, as Doc made two firm ties in the stump attaching the appendix and the began to cut between them. \u201cLift it clear as soon as I tell you, but very carefully. Tip it up this end so nothing escapes.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole nodded \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt as though he\u2019d stopped breathing as he watched. The minute it took seemed forever until Carole lifted clear the useless relic which had done its best to kill his father. Doc sowed up the stump tightly, sealed off a couple of blood vessels and then told Sue to stop the anaesthetic. Sue felt his father\u2019s pulse so very weak and with ominous stop-starts as though it was uncertain whether to keep going. Doc sowed Ben up rapidly, padded and bandaged the wound and then wrapped his patient up where he lay. Doc had made neater jobs but Ben was in shock and couldn\u2019t take anymore.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue had taken the thready pulse and she looked at Doc in despair, it could only be a matter of minutes. Doc didn\u2019t really need to see her face he\u2019d felt the increasing weakness in the stump as he sowed up. He checked for himself and then straightened up, \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joseph. This time your gamble hasn\u2019t paid off. There\u2019s nothing more I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He stood back letting Carole move closer to her father-in-law. Carole and Sue were on one side with Joe on the other, his wife just behind him. Doc was sure that the shock of the operation was going to kill his old friend within minutes and all the girls could see what he thought and much as they hated to admit it, there seemed no reason to doubt it. Joe looked round seeing the despair on all their faces but he couldn\u2019t give up and he lent forward gripping his father\u2019s hand more tightly. \u201cPa please, hold on. Don\u2019t give up; you can make it, please Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was oblivious of all the others, stroking his father\u2019s hair back from his forehead with one hand and holding tight to his father\u2019s hand with the other. Talking to him all the time, telling him to hold on, that Adam and Hoss were on their way, not altogether coherent, praying to God for his help, staying as close to his father as he could, to try and give Ben his own strength, his own warmth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita, Sue and Doc were all sure that Joe was wasting his time, there was no chance. The shock of the operation was inflicting an intolerable strain on the older man\u2019s weakened body and heart. Carole wouldn\u2019t give up either, all his sons had inherited a strong will to live and good health from Ben, he could fight too. Only Joe could help him now and she just kept an eye on Ben\u2019s pulse leaving it to Joe and praying as hard as she had ever done.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For more than a quarter of an hour Joe talked to his father almost begging him to hold on. Doc couldn\u2019t watch any longer he\u2019d already seen one old friend die and now within weeks another one was dying. He went over to the window to stare out, sure that it could only be a matter of minutes. Joe wasn\u2019t checking his father\u2019s pulse, he would know if he died and until he did Joe put all his efforts into the one chance he had, to somehow try and force his father to hang on. Oblivious of everyone else it took Carole three tries to penetrate to Joe and only then as she moved to hold his hand still as it mechanically stroked his father\u2019s hair. \u201cJoe feel his pulse it\u2019s steadying.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared at her for a moment and then he felt for it, his hand shaking so much that at first he couldn\u2019t find a pulse at all. Then breathing deeply he found it and Carole was right it was still very weak and rather thready but considerably steadier than it had been. As Joe stopped speaking for the first time, Doc had turned. Carole\u2019s voice had been so low he hadn\u2019t heard what she said and at first he feared that Ben was dead but he could see that wasn\u2019t true. Carole managed a half smile as she looked up at him, \u201cDoc, his pulse is steadier.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc hurried over and checked it for himself. He frowned \u201cI don\u2019t know, still terribly weak, he\u2019s still in shock but maybe there\u2019s a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe looked up, determination clear on his face. \u201cI won\u2019t let him die. My decision, somehow I\u2019ll keep him alive to see Adam and Hoss and to see his new grandchildren.\u201d He glared at Doc as though he was the enemy to be beaten, his doubt in Ben\u2019s survival. Then he turned back to his father talking again quietly to him. Carole got to her feet and stretched \u201cWell Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI just don\u2019t know, I thought he\u2019d be dead by now, maybe a chance but….\u201d he sighed heavily \u201cIf he\u2019d just come out of shock.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue said \u201cI\u2019ll go and get some coffee and brandy; I think we all need it. Anyone want any food?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole and Nita shook their heads, Joe not even seeming to hear. Carole moved over to join Sue, \u201cI\u2019ll come with you, make sure the kids are alright.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hop Sing slipped downstairs to get some soup and food ready, prepare some sandwiches, it could be a long night ahead. Jess looked up as Carole came down and she forced herself to smile, \u201cDoc has operated and Pa\u2019s hanging on.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWill he make it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo way of knowing yet, there\u2019s a chance. The longer he hangs on, maybe the better the chance. Thanks for looking after the twins.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGlad to do anything to help, they\u2019re fine. Do you want to go and collect anything from home? I can have your buggy prepared.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d better.\u201d Carole tried to think what else needed doing but it was up to God now with maybe a little help from Joe. Ten minutes later she went back up to find no real change. Nita had pulled a chair up close to Joe, but he was only vaguely aware of her, he hadn\u2019t even responded to her offer of coffee and brandy, concentrating on his father. Sue was doing all the practical things they could, renewing hot bottles trying to warm Ben to counteract the cold of shock, which could so easily kill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole quietly told her that she was going home to get what she needed to stay at the main house. Whatever happened they needed to be together. Then she went over to Nita, \u201cForce Joe to at least have some coffee or he\u2019ll be collapsing too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita nodded and poured out a cup of coffee adding a healthy slug of brandy to it and gripped her husband\u2019s arm \u201cJoe drink this.\u201d At first she got no reaction and she gripped harder, \u201cJoe for your father\u2019s sake, drink this or you\u2019ll be in no condition to help him.\u201d Joe turned his head and seeing her worried expression he took the cup \u201cI\u2019m okay, just worried.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know love drink it, I\u2019ll get you some food later.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe downed the coffee barely aware of the scalding liquid and putting the cup down took his father\u2019s hand. \u201cI wish Adam and Hoss were here, oh God did I do the right thing?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita put her arm round him feeling the tension, \u201cYou did the only thing darling, he has a chance now. The longer he holds on the better that chance is. You told me, the Cartwrights are indestructible.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Slowly the warmth of the coffee and brandy spread through Joe and he relaxed slightly, conscious of his wife\u2019s support, then he returned to his job trying to cajole his father out of shock; sure that Ben rested easier for the touch of his hands and the sound of his voice, however unsound that was medically. Doc could see it too, but although as time passed Ben hung onto life, he was showing no sign of coming out of shock and Doc didn\u2019t know, but was scared that the strain on Ben\u2019s heart could be cumulative. As night fell and the lights were lit Sue joined Doc over by the window \u201cHe has no right to be alive, do you think he\u2019ll see dawn?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc shook his head \u201cI don\u2019t know, I\u2019ve seen them all survive where most people would die. If only I knew more. Ben\u2019s still in shock, barely holding his own. Normally it has killed by now. I don\u2019t even know the cumulative effect. Of one thing I am sure, it is only Joe that\u2019s holding him, that and maybe his own desire to see your husband and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss had been busy in a technical meeting discussing exactly what he was ordering for the new sawmill, when Carole\u2019s telegram was brought to him. He hadn\u2019t dreamt of trouble so very busy ever since his arrival in Sacramento, wanting to get his jobs finished and get home to his lovely wife, especially now she was pregnant. He had already signed the contract they wanted and delivered the horses although he still had to collect the money, he was half tempted by a spectacular Appaloosa stallion that Scott was trying to sell him. Only he\u2019d have liked to talk to his brothers first, the horse herd was really their responsibility. Scott had promised to hold onto the stallion while he thought about it, knowing the Cartwrights would pay top dollar if they took the horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a moment as the telegram was handed to him, he hardly dared to open it, so scared for Sue. The big man stood up and went over to the window, turning his back on the men he was dealing with, not wanting them to see his feelings in case it was bad news, telling himself that it was probably just a change of plan.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There had been no easy way to tell Hoss in a telegram although Carole had done her best, but she had had to stress the urgency so that Hoss could guess how serious it was. She told him to leave everything, get back as fast as he could, that Ben was seriously ill and asking for him. Hoss read it three times, seeing his father drawn and in pain on the way home from town blaming himself for not realising then that something was wrong, blaming himself for being so wrapped up in Sue that he\u2019d forgotten his older responsibilities. For fully five minutes he stood staring out of the window, scared for his father, knowing it must be serious for Carole to send for him like this, hardly able to take it in and unable to think straight, wanting to get home, wondering how to get there the fastest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The men he had been talking to watched him for a moment as he read the telegram. It was obvious something was very wrong. When he made no move one of the men Ritter, who knew Hoss best went over and gently touched his arm, \u201cIs something wrong? Anything we can do?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss was startled, he\u2019d forgotten he wasn\u2019t on his own. He turned to face them rubbing his hand across his eyes, his head aching fiercely with the sudden shock. \u201cGot to get home, my Pa\u2019s been taken ill. My sister-in-law has sent for me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow bad?\u201d asked Ritter in genuine concern, he\u2019d known Ben for many years and liked him<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged \u201cWon\u2019t know until I get there. Bad enough for Carole to send for me, Pa wants us. Any idea when the next train is for Reno?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNothing until the midnight train, it\u2019ll get you into Reno about five in the morning,\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned \u201cStill get me home faster with the state the mountains are in. Guess we\u2019d better finish up this order, I\u2019ll leave my men to take delivery.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou sure you feel up to it Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFill in the time.\u201d Hoss came back and sat down, picking up his papers trying to concentrate, he looked up, \u201cCould do with a brandy if you wouldn\u2019t mind sending for one.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ritter nodded and sent his assistant for a bottle and Hoss had two stiff drinks and forced himself to work, anything was better than sitting brooding waiting for the train. He was very tempted to go and get his horse and start riding but commonsense told him that he\u2019d get home faster with train all the way to Carson City and hiring a horse there. Sue was a nurse and she would look after his father for him and although he knew it would take some time to get Adam back from the west shore, Joe should surely be home by now. Trusting in his wife and his little brother Hoss managed to stay calm. He knew that Doc and Carole would be helping and that everything that could be done was being done. He knew that even if he was there he probably couldn\u2019t do anything but his every urge was to get home. How he managed to decide the final details he never knew, it was as though ten percent of him was efficiently dealing with work, while the rest of him was thinking about his father, so very scared. Yet somehow he was sure that Ben was still alive, he\u2019d know if his Pa was dead. When he had finalised the order for the mill, he thanked Ritter for his offer of dinner but refused he had some other business to clear and for once in his life he couldn\u2019t face food.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Luckily he had two old time hands with him and he gave one a letter for Scott saying that he\u2019d take the stallion to deduct the price of it from what he owed them and give the balance and the stallion to the bearer. He explained briefly what else he wanted them to do; collecting the new saws and parts, and bringing Chub and the stallion back to the ranch. He settled up all the bills and left them some cash for emergencies. With everything he could think of covered and his ticket bought, Hoss had three hours to fill and went into the nearest bar. Unusually for the big man he ordered a brandy, feeling cold and for once unable to face food, even though he knew it would be sensible to eat. He drained the drink and signalled for a refill and then went to sit in the corner, staring into the glass not aware of anyone. He remembered what Adam had said when Joe was ill on the west shore, how Doc was unable to help in most abdominal problems and injuries, Doc hadn\u2019t been able to help Beth and Hoss was almost sure whatever was wrong it was abdominal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eventually feeling hemmed in Hoss pushed his way out, leaving his drink untouched on the table. He settled his bill at the hotel, collected his luggage and even though it was nearly two hours to wait, he went out to the station. He was pacing up and down at least not bothered by any acquaintances. Word had spread but the expression on the big man\u2019s face was enough to keep them at bay.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss wasn\u2019t the only one restlessly pacing around, his elder brother was too. The three men with him had settled down hours earlier, Adam had been pushing hard and they were all tired. Adam still had paperwork to finish but even when that was done he still couldn\u2019t settle. Something was wrong, he was sure of it; he had felt uneasy all day but managed to bury it in work, now with nothing urgent to do, he was pacing along the lake shore, but for once unaware of the sombre beauty of the Lake. He had tried telling himself it was imagination but he hadn\u2019t got very far, remembering as though it was yesterday, two years earlier when he\u2019d been marking up and felt this same unease. Then Joe had come to tell him of Carole\u2019s miscarriage, the death of his tragically deformed baby daughter. Now although Carole was pregnant again Adam wasn\u2019t even sure that his fears were for her, just that something was wrong. Adam stared out over the Lake to the point where his daughter and other loved ones were buried and tried to put his feelings down to memories, not only of Joe\u2019s news but of his little brother\u2019s near death. They had been working very close to the landslide which had nearly cost Joe\u2019s life. Trouble was Adam couldn\u2019t convince himself, he knew from experience that this feeling nearly always meant trouble. He stared across the Lake at the point not too far straight across the Lake but long hours of riding round. So far for someone to travel to bring him news if there was trouble.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was very overcast, the moon giving no light and a drizzle falling so that Matt, the man that Jess had sent to see Adam couldn\u2019t make much time, despite all his efforts. He was barely able to go faster than walking pace once he left the west shore road. A broken leg for his horse would only increase the time before he could deliver the letter Carole had given him. In fact Hoss was already on his train to Reno, staring unseeingly out of the window, only wanting to get home before Matt rode into Adam\u2019s camp. It was about 2.30 in the morning and Matt was very surprised to see Adam still up and moving towards him. Adam had half expected to see someone and as soon as he heard the horse he\u2019d moved towards it. Seeing a man he didn\u2019t know too well instead of his brother as he\u2019d expected, Adam demanded \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Matt could see bad news wasn\u2019t going to be exactly a shock but he couldn\u2019t bring himself to say anything and digging out the letter he passed it over \u201cFrom your wife.\u201d Adam took the letter and moved over to the fire, knowing before he opened it that something was wrong with his father, that his slight uneasiness about his father had a firm basis. Carole had been able to put more detail into the letter to her husband, knowing that whatever she wrote he was going to be very worried as she had had to send for him. She had tried to hide just how slim Doc thought Ben\u2019s chances were but Adam could read between the lines. Adam read the letter swiftly and then asked Matt to saddle Blackie for him, while he reread the letter more slowly. He knew enough about appendicitis to know that his father\u2019s chances were slim and although he had heard of the operation he could understand Doc not trying it on an elderly man and although he\u2019d never thought of his father as that, there was no denying Ben was getting on. His father had always been very fit but he wouldn\u2019t have the resilience of youth, He could only pray that the infection would subside, Carole had emphasized that it hadn\u2019t ruptured. His mind made up, Adam woke the three men who were with him and briefly explained that he had to get home now as his father was ill and suggested that they followed him in the morning; they would have to abandon the job for now. The three men looked at each other and Jackson spoke for all of them \u201cWant one of us to come with you now Adam, in case of an accident?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head \u201cI\u2019m alright. I\u2019ll make better time alone, know this land. I\u2019ll take the spare horse. You follow me in the morning.\u201d He mounted up, putting the spare horse on a lead rein and then started out, he knew the land but he knew it too well to take foolish risks and with it so very dark he couldn\u2019t make much time, only occasionally pushing Blackie into a lope, trusting his horse\u2019s surefootedness. Very scared for his father and like Hoss blaming himself got not pressing harder when he\u2019d thought Ben was unwell, although with appendicitis he retained a sufficient commonsense to know that unless Doc was prepared to operate there was nothing that he could have done. As he rode he prayed for his father, thankful that at least Joe was with his father, one of his sons was there. Adam knew just how hard it must be for Joe too, however much Carole loved her father-in-law and the other girls tried to help, there wasn\u2019t the same relationship and couldn\u2019t be. Carole had said that she had sent for Hoss too and Adam knew that his brother would be able to get home faster by train than he could, even though he was actually on the ranch. Adam prayed that his father would at least hold on until they were all with him, knowing that Ben could well be dead already, not able to find any certainty that his father lived. He was scared that he\u2019d only be able to try and help his brothers and in his turn get their help. The night seemed to pass very slowly, despite taking risks that he knew weren\u2019t really sensible, he wasn\u2019t making much progress. Obviously one day he and his brothers would have the Ponderosa to themselves, at some stage their father must die but he\u2019d always seemed youthful and so healthy that it had always seemed to be far in the future. This had come up so suddenly, Adam had been slightly worried about his father but he hadn\u2019t really thought it was serious. With all too much time to think he prayed for his father, only a little of his concentration needed to find the path on the land he knew so well and the night was endless.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss didn\u2019t even have that much to distract him and hemmed in on the train with strangers all round him, he didn\u2019t even seem able to pray or think, just so very worried and scared. He couldn\u2019t visualise a future without his father, one day he knew it would come but not yet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe was the only one in a position to do anything and it seemed pitiably little. Nita hadn\u2019t been able to persuade him to eat, he had tried in order to please her but after one mouthful of a sandwich it seemed to stick in his throat and he\u2019d put it down, forgetting both it and his coffee as he lent over his father again. He talked quietly to Ben all the time, knowing that his father was unconscious but just maybe his son\u2019s presence would reach him and help. Over and over Joe told his father that Adam and Hoss were on their way, begging him to fight to hold on, but as the hours slowly passed and Ben showed no sign of coming out of shock the despair was etched deeply on Joe\u2019s face. Joe fought to stop the despair sounding in his voice, his father mustn\u2019t know, but he could no longer hide it from the others. Joe didn\u2019t need telling that Ben was slowly weakening, his pulse still very thready and noticeably weaker and Joe blamed himself bitterly. His intervention, overruling his father had only succeeding in preventing Ben from doing the one last thing he\u2019d wanted, saying goodbye to his eldest sons. It wasn\u2019t quite midnight and the messenger wouldn\u2019t even have reached Adam yet, and he couldn\u2019t possibly be back until mid-afternoon and even Hoss wouldn\u2019t be there until the morning. Joe couldn\u2019t see his father lasting that long, he could slip away any minute and although Joe\u2019s heart refused to accept it, in his mind he knew that Ben was dying in front of him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a long while he was oblivious of all the others whatever he believed he couldn\u2019t give up and he stayed close to his father, holding his hand and stroking his forehead almost mechanically, talking the while, frequently incoherent as his thoughts became jumbled, stiff and tired after lack of sleep and food over the previous days. The shock of his father\u2019s illness combined with the blame he felt for overruling his father, something he had never done without at least the support of his brothers, took a heavy toll on Joe. At first Joe had been grateful for the support from his wife and from Carole, knowing that she loved Ben too but for more than an hour he had only been aware of his father, sensing every breath, every hesitation in the pulse. Several times Doc checked his patient but Joe didn\u2019t even seem to notice him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The three girls were all perfectly sure Joe didn\u2019t know if they were there or not. At first Nita had been surprised and a little hurt but she could see that her husband was blaming himself and the despair on his face so all she wanted to do was to help. She went over to Carole, knowing that the older woman had known Joe a lot longer than she had and that Joe was very close to his sister-in-law. Nita sat down, scared to put it into words \u201cJoe looks….\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole put her arm round the younger girl \u201cHe\u2019s blaming himself for telling Doc to operate, overruling his father, scared Pa won\u2019t last until Adam and Hoss arrive and he\u2019s just stopped Pa doing the last thing that he wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita nodded, she had deduced that much \u201cWhat do we do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole shook her head, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing Nita. Understand and leave him alone, which is maybe the hardest of all, especially for you, just married. But I know if Pa is dead when Adam gets here, he won\u2019t turn to me for comfort, not at first anyway and that\u2019s not because he doesn\u2019t love me and know that I understand. Maybe it\u2019s all the years we weren\u2019t here, that the four of them shared. The sort of relationship that can only be built over years and perhaps only by dangers faced together; learning to rely on each other, knowing instinctively that they will be supported. Whatever the reasons at first maybe the only people to help Joe will be Adam and Hoss, equally they will lean on him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe looks so tired and drawn, if only he\u2019d rest, just for a little while \u201c<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t waste your time arguing Nita, he won\u2019t leave his father. Not until Hoss gets here, whatever happens and only then if it\u2019s resolved one way or the other. Joe won\u2019t collapse, I\u2019ve seen him much worse and I doubt you\u2019ll persuade him to eat but you might get him to take some coffee and brandy, at least warm him up a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita went down to collect some and Carole moved over to join Doc and Sue as they moved away from the bedside. \u201cWell Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul looked from Carole to Sue and back and then stared over at the bed \u201cI don\u2019t know. All my medical knowledge says he should be dead, died in those first few minutes but he didn\u2019t. He\u2019s holding on, just getting weaker, when I\u2019d have thought he was too weak to live anyway, but he\u2019s somehow alive.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s losing ground?\u201d asked Carole<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue nodded, tears in her eyes, \u201cSlowly but steadily, still in shock and despite all the hot bottles and the blankets, so very cold. Its only will power keeping him alive, how much is his and how much is Joe\u2019s I don\u2019t know. I\u2019ve never seen anything like it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe heard the last statement and for the first time in hours he looked up, acknowledging their existence. \u201cI have Sue. Adam held that tiny baby for days, talked to David fed him minute quantities at a time and kept him alive by sheer will power. I took him for half an hour and David nearly died. His father\u2019s hands steadied his heart. Maybe it\u2019s impossible but I saw it. David was six months old. I\u2019ve had 27 years to build a relationship with my father, why shouldn\u2019t I be able to help him?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n None of them could find the words to answer and Joe looked down at his father, closing his eyes momentarily and they just heard him murmur \u201cOnly it isn\u2019t enough. Oh God, if only Adam and Hoss were here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even if his brothers were there, there wouldn\u2019t be anything they could do except share his vigil but it hardly seemed the time to point that out. Joe looked over at Sue and Carole \u201cYou\u2019re both pregnant you must go and get some rest, nothing you can do.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole moved over to take Ben\u2019s other hand feeling for the pulse so very weak that she couldn\u2019t time it. \u201cI love him too Joe, I\u2019d rather stay.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou look tired out, won\u2019t help Adam to lose the baby too. I\u2019ll call if there\u2019s any change.\u201d As she didn\u2019t answer Joe added \u201cPlease Carole and you too Sue.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was obviously only worrying him and they compromised by going through the connecting door to Hoss and Sue\u2019s room, leaving the door open and lying down on the bed, close together for mutual comfort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita brought up coffee and Joe took it and then, for the first time in hours, he let go of his father\u2019s hand and took hers. \u201cNita have you seen Doc yet? Do you still think that you should?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When she nodded Joe looked over at Doc, \u201cNita thinks that she is pregnant too, will you check her for me. There\u2019s nothing you can do for Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc nodded and Joe looked up at his wife, \u201cI love you darling. Let Doc make sure that everything is alright and then get some rest. You can\u2019t help me, not now, but I\u2019d feel better if you were resting.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita bent down and kissed him, \u201cAlright on condition you drink that coffee while it\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded but he\u2019d already turned back to his father, talking softly, partly to Ben and partly to God.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc went with Nita, promising to call her if in his opinion there was anything she could do to help her husband. It didn\u2019t take long to confirm that she was pregnant but Doc sat down by the young girl on the bed. Unlike Carole and Sue she didn\u2019t know him very well and he didn\u2019t want to embarrass her but for Joe\u2019s sake he asked Nita to let him make an internal examination to ensure that everything was fine and that there was no reason t for him to lose his second wife as he had Marie. Nita would have done a lot more than that for Joe and she tried her best to relax and let Doc check. He straightened up and went to wash his hands again , \u201cAll perfectly normal, you\u2019re like Carole, a good build for children but I don\u2019t think you will have the same problems she had, How do you feel, any sickness or anything?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust my breasts are rather tender.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPerfectly normal.\u201d Doc calculated rapidly, \u201cMakes it due about the middle of November, I shall be living at the Ponderosa, three of you due within six weeks, although Carole is usually early and with first babies, you two will probably be late. I can reassure Joe on this at least. You do as he wants and lie down at ay rate.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHas Pa got any chance?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s up to God, by all my knowledge and experience he should have died hours ago. I\u2019ll call if Joe needs you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole and Sue had heard Joe asking Doc to check Nita and why. Carole remembered the strange mood that Joe had been in for a week before he rode out. \u201cNo wonder he looked so tired when he got home. I\u2019ll bet Nita told him her suspicions the day we announced our babies and, after losing Marie, he\u2019ll have had too many sleepless nights since then.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe must have taken that very hard, the first time I met him at your house, the way he spoke about her.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cVery hard and yet in some strange way it was as though she was still there helping him. Adam was recovering from pneumonia, still very weak, and with me heavily pregnant he was near panic. I don\u2019t know where Joe found the strength but he helped Adam so much. For a couple of weeks he was away with a drive and Adam was much worse despite Pa and Hoss doing all they could. Joe is going to need some help himself I\u2019d guess, at least when Nita gets near her term.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf only Pa could still be around to help.\u201d Sue sighed despairingly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t think….?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue shook her head, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen anyone recover when they have sunk into this sort of state.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole forced a smile \u201cYou aren\u2019t used to the Cartwrights; don\u2019t give up on him yet.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc came back to confirm for Joe that Nita was indeed pregnant and reassured him that she was fit and well, with no reason to fear for her. She should have a perfectly normal pregnancy and birth. For now Joe accepted that, he had a lot more immediate worries and he suggested that Doc went and used one of the spare rooms, there was nothing he could do.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doc shrugged \u201cI\u2019m used to sleeping in a chair Joe. I think I\u2019ll settle down by the window, any change and you tell me at once.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded and then concentrated on his father. There was so little he could do. Hop Sing brought fresh bottles for his master and coffee for Joe at regular intervals, but otherwise the minutes just dragged past with no change in the sick man\u2019s condition. Joe dreaded the early hours of the morning, knowing that it was a low time in anyone, a time when sick people often slipped away, He could hear Doc snoring gently, not young himself, he had dozed off, Carole was well aware of how low people got around 2 a.m. or so and after lying still for a while she slipped out, tucking Sue up and went back to join Joe, knowing that he\u2019d be at a low ebb too.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole slipped into a chair opposite Joe and felt Ben\u2019s pulse. It was no weaker than it had been albeit no stronger either and she smiled at Joe as he took in her presence, \u201cHe\u2019s holding his own.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNita, Sue?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBoth asleep like Doc but I couldn\u2019t. You know how often I have relied on his strength, his love.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have interfered; he could have seen Adam and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole moved round the bed to the chair next to him and put her arm round his shoulder, \u201cDon\u2019t give up on him Joe, not now. He\u2019s hung on for so long, He could have been dead by now even without the operation, that appendix was about to rupture, you must have seen that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019d have hung on.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf you believe that, believe he will now.\u201d Joe stared at her for a minute resting against her warm strength, so tired and stiff but her confidence, even though he knew it was forced, helped him. He kissed her cheek, \u201cStay Carole, with Adam and Hoss not here you and I are closest to him, maybe between us with God\u2019s help….\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe wiped his father\u2019s face and told him that Carole was there too and between them they would look after him until Hoss and Adam arrived that they would be there soon. For two hours they sat by Ben, without seeing any real change. Hop Sing brought fresh coffee but apart from drinking that Joe talked continually to his father. Once he checked his watch, stretching his aching back, \u201cNearly four o\u2019clock Adam must be on his way by now but it could be twelve hours yet, he can only have heard a little while ago.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss could be here in a few hours,\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIf he was thinking straight enough to wait for a train, Sunday, there wouldn\u2019t be one until midnight. If he tried to ride he\u2019ll be longer than Adam getting here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTrust Hoss, he\u2019ll have used his commonsense, I think I\u2019ll go and see if Jess is still around, get someone to go and meet the train in Carson City with a horse for Hoss so he doesn\u2019t have to hang around.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThanks Carole.\u201d Joe sighed heavily and almost to himself murmured \u201cGod I hope Hoss did wait.\u201d He rubbed his hand across his aching eyes, wanting one of his brothers more than he could ever remember. Praying that his father could hang on until they arrived and then maybe he could stop feeling so guilty; whatever anyone else said at the moment he couldn\u2019t shake the guilt. He was surprise just how much he missed Carole when she left, she was right she loved Pa too. In fact Carole was back long before he expected, Jess was still downstairs waiting for news and he promised to go and meet Hoss himself and explain the position as best he could. As he could take his time on the ride to town and let Hoss hurry back ahead of him, Carole went along with him, although she knew he was by no means fit yet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her return to the room disturbed Doc, who woke up with a start. He was rather surprised to find that Ben was still alive. He came over to the bed to check for himself to find that there had been no change at all as far as he could tell. Joe looked up questioningly but Doc just shrugged \u201cI\u2019m sorry Joe, it\u2019s beyond me. You know as much as I do, maybe more.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared down at his father, lying so very still, he hadn\u2019t moved at all through out the night, pale and waxy, almost looking like a corpse, yet he was breathing. By six both Sue and Nita had rejoined them, both relieved to find Ben was still alive, if rather shocked by how drawn Joe looked, seemingly on the verge of collapse himself. They had all been calculating just how soon Hoss could arrive. Sue wanted her big husband and Nita was equally keen to see him, maybe his brother could help Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The first train left Reno at 5 a.m. reaching Carson City at 6.30 a.m. It was a slightly longer ride from Carson but the train would take another hour and a half to get to Virginia City and in that time Hoss could be well home. He had sent a telegram to the house saying what he was doing and half expected to be met but if not he could hire a horse. It was the first time he had been on the new line, which they\u2019d done so much to help build, but he wasn\u2019t thinking of that, just grateful that it was there to help him get home fast. Not even knowing what was wrong, just that it was serious and his Pa was asking for him, he could only wait to get home and pray that it wasn\u2019t as bad as he\u2019d feared. It seemed to take forever to reach town and he wasn\u2019t surprised to see Jess waiting on the platform. Jess hurried over \u201cGot a horse waiting for you Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHolding on but he\u2019s very ill, appendicitis. Doc had to operate. Joe is with him and we\u2019ve sent for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDoes Doc think he\u2019ll make it?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Jess bit his lip, seeing the strain of a sleepless worrying night etched on the big man\u2019s face, but the Cartwrights were all good friends and he owed Hoss the truth. It was no good buoying him up with false hope and leaving Joe the job of dispelling them, Joe needed help too. \u201cDoc didn\u2019t think that your father would survive the operation, but he had up until the time I left. Your Pa is still in shock, he\u2019s alive but only just. I reckon Joe needs your help, your Pa didn\u2019t want the operation and Joe overruled him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shut his eyes for a moment, shocked by what he heard but then he hurried over to the horse. \u201cThanks Jess, you come at your own pace. Guess I\u2019d better get home.\u201d Hoss left town as fast as he could, pushing the horse hard once he was clear of town, not needing light on the road he knew so well. Hoss was glad of the need to push a strange horse, anything to avoid thinking about what was waiting for him. His worst fears had been realised and he knew that his little brother needed him and reading in Jess\u2019 eyes the fear that Ben had died since he\u2019d left the ranch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the house they had all worked out the earliest that Hoss could get home would be close to eight, but even so from seven onwards Sue was sitting by the window. Joe kept telling his father to hold on that Hoss would be there soon, just a few minutes, but his voice seemed to have lost the confidence it had had earlier, and as Joe began to doubt that his father was even aware of him. Carole thought that Ben\u2019s pulse was slightly stronger but as noone else seemed to have noticed she thought it was probably her wishful thinking. On the other hand Ben had held on for so long, surely he could pull round and she prayed for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Everyone was relieved when Sue came running in to say that Hoss was just riding into the yard, not that the big man could do anything they weren\u2019t but it was what Ben had wanted his sons with him. Hoss found Kirk in the yard waiting for him and throwing the reins to him, Hoss ran straight upstairs to his father\u2019s room not even taking off his coat or hat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Hoss went in he could see that at least for now Ben still lived and he moved over to the bed, next to Joe, taking his father\u2019s hand from his brother, frowning as he felt the weak pulse. He bent over and kissed his father\u2019s forehead, \u201cHold on Pa,\u201d then he looked at his little brother, obviously close to collapse and with a confidence he didn\u2019t feel, he smiled \u201cEasy little brother, we\u2019ll pull him through.\u201d He put his arm round Joe\u2019s shoulders and Joe rested his aching head against his brother for a moment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Only then did Hoss look up and catch his wife\u2019s eye \u201cSweetheart, you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue smiled \u201cI\u2019m fine. Do you want some breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot just now love, but coffee and brandy would help, bring Joe some too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat up again, \u201cI\u2019m okay. Very glad you\u2019re home Hoss but Pa doesn\u2019t know….\u201d Joe bit his lip looking down at the still figure and then up at Hoss. \u201cI went against him Hoss. His decision. It was his appendix. He wanted to see you and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned, his brother wasn\u2019t making too much sense but he knew Joe very well and piecing together what Jess had said he could make a good guess. He took a minute to slip off his coat, hat and gun, while he tried to think how to help. Carole and Nita were sitting opposite, Doc behind them and in every case he could see the doubt of Ben\u2019s survival very obvious. There was little to do to help his father but for the moment he was almost as concerned about is brother and there he could hope to help.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss slipped into the chair next to his brother and again took his father\u2019s hand before forcing Joe to look at him. \u201cRight Little Joe calm down a bit and try and tell me what\u2019s been going on, I know that Pa didn\u2019t want the operation and that you overruled him and Doc has operated. What I don\u2019t understand is why Pa didn\u2019t want the operation?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shut his eyes, suddenly feeling slightly dizzy and weak, unable to get his thoughts together and Hoss seeing it didn\u2019t press questions on him just replacing his arm round Joe\u2019s shoulders and letting his little brother rest against him. He looked over at Carole, the question clear in his eyes. Carole could see Joe was in no condition to explain and she said \u201cUntil the appendix ruptures it\u2019s not fatal and sometime the inflammation will die down of its own accord. The operation was very dangerous for someone of Pa\u2019s age and while there was a chance of it not rupturing he had as much chance of surviving by doing nothing as by having the operation. Pa wanted to say goodbye to you and Adam, reckoned he could hold on for a while even after it ruptured, long enough to see you both. He was quite calm, said he\u2019d had a good life, accepting that he\u2019d die anyway. By the time Joe got here he was worse, there was no chance of it not rupturing and we couldn\u2019t just let him die, so Joe told Doc to operate.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat up, \u201cMy decision. Pa wanted to see you but I…..\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss smiled and interrupted \u201cYou did what you had to do, the only chance, however slight and he\u2019s still alive. However it turns out you did what Adam or I would have done and because you had the strength to overrule him we have a chance to pull him through. How long since the operation?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMore than twelve hours.\u201d Joe said and then almost in despair, \u201cAnd he\u2019s still in shock. I don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d He shivered, relaxing slightly with his brother\u2019s support. Hoss looked round as Sue came in with the coffee and brandy. \u201cHere Joe drink this, if he\u2019s hung on this long he can make it.\u201d He took his own cup and drained it rapidly and then caught Nita\u2019s eye \u201cGuess he\u2019s been sitting here all night?\u201d She nodded as Hoss expected and he went on \u201cRight take him out, just for a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not going.\u201d Joe protested but Hoss wasn\u2019t taking any argument. \u201cYou can trust me to look after Pa and you\u2019ll be no use to anyone on the verge of collapse, Go have a wash stretch your legs and get some fresh air for ten minutes and then tell Hop Sing that we\u2019ll both have breakfast, I\u2019m betting you didn\u2019t eat yesterday and that don\u2019t help Pa none.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe felt so sick and tired that he let his brother take control and let Nita bully him outside, glad of the fresh air, so very stiff. Nita moved close to him and Joe took her in his arms burying his aching head in her hair, thankful that something was right in his world.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Upstairs Hoss had tried to hide the depth of his fear from Joe but as he moved closer to his father and realised that Ben was totally unaware of his presence, he looked over at Doc in near despair \u201cWhat are his chances Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paul couldn\u2019t help \u201cI can only tell you what I told your brother, it\u2019s beyond me. There\u2019s nothing I can do, by all rights he should be dead but he isn\u2019t. It\u2019s in God\u2019s hands.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole said, \u201cOn his way, we sent a messenger the same time as we sent to you, but on the west shore.\u201d She sighed \u201cIt will be mid afternoon at the earliest before he can get here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. Joe had carried the burden all night with a guilt which was going to take a long time to dispel, if as seemed all too likely Ben died without regaining consciousness. Now that he was here he had to try and help. Remembering the long hours with Joe close to death out on the west shore when Joe had seemed even weaker, Hoss wasn\u2019t about to give up on his father, Ben might not have the resilience of youth but the source of the infection was gone and they had the right conditions to nurse him. He moved as close to his father as he could, remembering how Joe had seemed to rest easier with physical contact and began talking to his father. He tried to reach Ben to let him know that two of his sons were there but it didn\u2019t seem to work and like Joe before him he fought against despair. Sue slipped close to her big husband, snuggling up against him. Hoss kissed her gently and was relaxed a little by her presence but nearly all his attention was on his father. He was very grateful that she didn\u2019t press for attention understanding how he felt, knowing that he ought to pay her more heed, a new wife and pregnant, but at least until Joe got back he could only think of his father. Sue could understand and only wanted to try and help, try and dispel the bleak despair so obvious in his eyes, however much he tried to school his features.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss forced down some breakfast, he couldn\u2019t make Joe eat without doing the same, Although neither of them wanted the food they did feel better for it. Carole had to go and see to her children, they were too young to understand how ill Grandpa was. Sue and Nita helped her and the three women took it in turns to slip back into Ben\u2019s room to see how he was or take fresh coffee in for the brothers.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue and Nita both accepted that their husbands were best left to help each other far more easily than Carole had expected. It wasn\u2019t exactly flattering for the new wives. Sue smiled when Carole queried it, but it was Nita who answered her. \u201cThose three brothers have a unique relationship and with Pa ill there\u2019s no way either of us can fight nearly thirty years of being together, I don\u2019t care Joe needs help and maybe Hoss can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue agreed, \u201cWith Pa so ill we\u2019d be pretty bad wives if we insisted on attention when they are so worried.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita nodded \u201cI didn\u2019t believe it at first, thought it was all one way but it isn\u2019t. They all rely on each other, I couldn\u2019t have got Joe to leave his father or to eat anything but Hoss did.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole went and poured herself a brandy, close to tears, \u201cI think both my brothers were very lucky when they chose you two.\u201d She bent to Marie who\u2019d fallen over, glad of something to do.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By lunch time Hoss couldn\u2019t face food either. There had been no change in the long hours and both brothers had the same thought that they didn\u2019t dare put into words. In some strange way Ben was aware of who was there and was hanging on for his eldest son to arrive and once he was sure that Adam was there he would finally give in and lose his tenuous grip on life. They knew that if Ben was closer to any one of the brothers then it was to his eldest son, so very often they seemed completely in tune with each other. Adam had had to grow up fast and had been close to his father for so long. Ben so very still hardly seemed to breathe; the only thing that could be said was that he was no worse. Hoss had been talking to him, the brothers taking it in turns, when suddenly in despair he broke off and buried his face in his hands. Joe lent across the bed to his brother and gripped his arm \u201cHe\u2019s no worse Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow long has he been like this Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFourteen maybe fifteen hours, just no change. Doc reckons he\u2019s still in shock. I sure wish he\u2019d come out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe it\u2019s more than that, just waiting for Adam …..\u201d Hoss broke off but Joe could read his own fears on Hoss\u2019 face. It was his turn to try and help his brother and pushing his own fears away he said, \u201cIf he has enough strength to hold on for Adam to get here then he has enough to pull out of it, especially with all three of us to help. You and Adam saved my life on the West shore, here we can give him the best of care and there are three of us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss tried to believe that remembering Adam\u2019s conviction that although Joe was seemingly unaware of anything he knew those close to him and felt Hoss\u2019 defeatist attitude. Certainly Joe had started to recover when he had pulled himself together, maybe a coincidence but then again maybe not. The two brothers sat opposite each other talking to their father, holding his hands occasionally wondering aloud how long Adam would be, the still body between them seemingly inanimate, almost as though life had already gone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mid-morning Doc got a message from town one of his pregnant patients had gone into labour, one that he was worried about. There was absolutely nothing he could do for Ben and he had to leave. He couldn\u2019t believe that he would see his old friend alive again, but he was virtually dead now and in some ways Doc was glad to go, feeling so useless.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Apart from bringing coffee and hot bottles the girls let the brothers alone with their father, knowing that they would be told about any change. They knew that Hoss and Joe were unaware of anything aside from their father and each other.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At least they had each other; Adam was on his own, making better time now that he had reached the road which Joe had been building. It had seemed to take forever through the mist and rain to reach the road but at least now he could push on fast. All things considered he\u2019d made very good time taking outrageous risks as the terrain seemed to slow him down, even more than he had expected. It seemed to take so long and even on the road he had five hours hard riding before he could get home. He hadn\u2019t rested Blackie at all but the big stallion had started off fresh and he was strong, responding to all his master\u2019s demands as though understanding Adam\u2019s urgency, In fact it was the spare horse which showed most sign of tiredness despite having no rider,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam knew every tree, every step of the way and exactly how long it would take him, estimating that he would reach home just after 2.30 p.m., which given the weather was very good time but it was still more than 24 hours since Carole wrote her letter. In that time so much could have happened and it was with an ever increasing sense of urgency that he kicked Blackie into a gallop as he reached the last mile to the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All of them were on edge waiting for Adam\u2019s arrival, knowing that he would make the best time that he could. Although reasonable estimates suggested that it would be several hours yet, none of them expected him to be reasonable! In fact Carole was praying that he hadn\u2019t taken too many foolish risks. Jess working in the yard saw him first and put his head in the main door to say \u201cAdam coming down from the lake now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue went up to tell Hoss and Joe while Nita, at Carole\u2019s request, took the children into the kitchen. They wouldn\u2019t understand but Carole knew that at first Adam would only want to go to his father. She was waiting by the door as he dismounted almost before Blackie stopped. Adam ran to her and gripped her shoulders almost roughly \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDoc operated; Pa\u2019s still alive but barely. He\u2019s in shock, has been for nearly twenty four hours, Hoss and Joe are with him. It was Joe\u2019s decision to get Doc to operate Pa didn\u2019t want it and Joe\u2019s blaming himself. Otherwise it would have ruptured and I think Pa would already be dead.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam listened to the basic facts that he needed, details could wait and he kissed her before pulling off his hat and coat and running upstairs to join his father and brothers. At least Pa was still alive but as he went in he saw the despair so clear on his brothers\u2019 faces. Joe stood up as his eldest brother came in, moving aside so that Adam could get to the bed. Adam made no comment at first, feeling his father\u2019s pulse, so very weak and the deadly cold emanating from his body. Carole was right his father was still in shock and he couldn\u2019t see anything he could do that his brothers weren\u2019t already doing. The room was hot, blankets and bottles round him to counteract the cold. Once he\u2019d assessed his father\u2019s condition Adam looked at his youngest brother seeing the self-blame, \u201cYou had to let Doc operate Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t let him, I forced him to!\u201d Joe but his lip, so very upset, still sure that he\u2019d done the wrong thing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam thoroughly overtired and very worried seeing his youngest brother\u2019s state wiped his father\u2019s face and gripped his hand. Then with almost a touch of anger in his voice he said \u201cWhat are we going to do with you Pa? You can do better than this. You\u2019ve hung on this long, it\u2019s time you started waking up.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked up horrified at Adam and his brother saw and sighed heavily \u201cI think we all need a drink Hoss. I do and by the look of you so do you and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded and went downstairs to get the brandy. Joe was lost in his own thoughts for a moment while Adam stared down at his father. Ben had been vaguely aware of his sons\u2019 presence but it was all a long way away, through a veil that he couldn\u2019t penetrate. He had no strength to try and reach them, just knowing Joe\u2019s voice and touch and later that Hoss was there too, He was only aware at long intervals floating in between, not even really worried by the pain in his stomach; it was there but not really part of him. Nothing seemed to matter and it was easier to float but then he heard his eldest son\u2019s voice and there was anger in it. Ben wasn\u2019t sure why Adam was angry with him but he couldn\u2019t leave it not like that. Adam was rarely cross with him but for some reason he was. Ben considered it for a while and the decided that he ought to talk to his son. Without any strength all that happened was a very faint murmur \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam heard it and the sudden change in his brother as Adam lent over his father and said \u201cEasy Pa. I\u2019m right here.\u201d caught Joe\u2019s attention. Joe felt the pulse but there was no change it was just as weak and as Hoss came in he asked \u201cWhat is it Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe said my name. Didn\u2019t you hear him Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked hopefully at his little brother, but Joe shook his head \u201cI didn\u2019t hear anything.\u201d Joe was sure that he would have and could only think that Adam had imagined it. Hoss passed Adam a brandy \u201cHow much sleep did you get last night Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNone, same as you two I guess, I knew something was wrong even before the message arrived but I\u2019ve missed sleep before, I am not hallucinating or indulging in wishful thinking. He said my name.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss moved round the bed and felt his father\u2019s pulse. He sighed heavily \u201cI\u2019d like to believe you Adam but I don\u2019t see no change. We\u2019ve all been under one heck of a strain. Long worrying ride on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe could only agree with his big brother, and Adam saw the disbelief on both their faces but he knew what he had heard and he smiled faintly \u201cI am not imaging things and I\u2019ll prove it to you.\u201c Adam put his glass down and lent forward gripping his father\u2019s shoulder. \u201cPa I know you can hear me if you\u2019ll just try, You\u2019re no quitter and you didn\u2019t bring us up to be quitters either, Joe had the strength to give you a chance to live. You can. Doc\u2019s taken out your appendix. For Joe\u2019s sake, for all of us, fight, you can make it.\u201d Three times Adam repeated almost exactly the same thing, not attempting to hide the edge of tension, almost anger but there was no reaction. Hoss and Joe met each others eye, sure that the long hours of strain, all on is own, had told on Adam. Then although there was no movement, and his pulse remained just as weak, both of them heard Ben say \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe could hardly speak for a moment but then he took his father\u2019s hands as Adam grinned at him and said \u201cI\u2019m right here Pa. Hold on you can make it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a moment Ben didn\u2019t react and then he said \u201cHoss.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The big man on the far side of the bed smoothed the hair back from his father\u2019s forehead and said \u201cHere Pa, We all are and we need you. Three new grandchildren on their way need you, Keep fighting, we\u2019ll be right with you and you\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was no visible reaction from the sick man but Ben had heard his sons\u2019 words, each had been certain that he could make it. In his own mind Ben had been accepting death, not even aware that Doc had operated. He was sure he had no chance of survival, now they all said that he could live if he would fight and he decided he\u2019d better start making an effort. Even his thoughts seemed to take forever to sort out but Ben was aware of one thing, all three of his sons were there and they wanted him to fight so he\u2019d try.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At first just the fact that Ben was aware they were all there helped. He had spoken, the only sign of life he\u2019d made in hours. Adam tried to reassure his brother, \u201cPa understood us I\u2019m sure. He\u2019s a fighter he can make it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss poured more coffee and brandy, willing to accept that at least for the moment. He passed the drinks round \u201cI think I\u2019ll go and tell the girls, won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam smiled \u201cGo ahead.\u201d Then although he retained hold of his father\u2019s hand Adam turned to his little brother, \u201cI meant what I said Joe. It took strength to force Doc to operate and I know the strain you\u2019ve been under but you\u2019ve given Pa the chance to live. I know Hoss agrees with me in this, we\u2019re both so very grateful to you. No matter what happens now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe searched his brother\u2019s face, reading the sincerity there and he buried his face in his hands, close to tears. Adam gripped his arm \u201cWhen Hoss comes back you ought to get some sleep. You look exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t not until ….\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam felt his father\u2019s pulse but couldn\u2019t detect any change. \u201cIt could still be quite a while Joe before there\u2019s any real change. Suppose we get a truckle bed set up in the corner here. Would you at least lie down. I promise to call you at the first sign of change.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou said yourself you had no sleep last night either.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam frowned \u201cSure and Hoss looks how I feel, tired and worried but frankly Joe you don\u2019t look as though you\u2019ve slept in a week. I know it was very hard on you but Hoss and I are back to help now. Try and get some rest, it\u2019s still going to be a long haul.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe knew his brother was right. He had started off very tired before ever hearing about his father\u2019s illness. Now with someone to share the burden he felt close to collapse having relaxed slightly. Slowly he nodded, \u201cAlright big brother I\u2019ll try. I suppose one of us needs to be rested so as to be awake later.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was glad to get that much and when Hoss reappeared with Carole he asked his brother to set up the bed for Joe. Carole had been delighted to hear that Ben had spoken their names but she couldn\u2019t detect any real change. Still it was the first hopeful sign they had had in hours and she persuaded her husband to have some food. Hoss felt able to join him now and Carole and Sue brought up trays. Joe hadn\u2019t expected to be able to sleep but almost as soon as he shut his eyes he was off, so very tired, trusting his brothers to take care of their Pa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nita looked in and smiled seeing Joe asleep before going down to take care of the children. The other four talked quietly as they sat by Ben\u2019s bed. Adam ate one handed, not letting go of his father\u2019s hand; at least his pulse was steady and maybe slightly stronger. Carole filled her husband and Hoss in on exactly what had happened since Nita came over to fetch her, explaining why Doc hadn\u2019t wanted to operate and why Ben had refused the operation. Adam considered his youngest brother, knowing exactly how hard it had been for Joe to overrule their father but with Ben surviving this far hopefully Joe would stop blaming himself once he\u2019d had some sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For a while they were quiet apart from Adam murmuring reassuringly to his father and then suddenly he remembered something Hoss had said that hadn\u2019t registered at the time. \u201cWhere\u2019s Nita?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole smiled \u201cLooking after the children while Joe\u2019s asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked questioningly at his brother \u201cWhy did you say three grandchildren?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss smiled \u201cNita\u2019s pregnant .Sue heard Joe asking Doc to check her over.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole nodded \u201cI heard too. It hasn\u2019t been the time to bring it up with Joe but Nita said Doc confirmed it and that everything\u2019s fine. No reason for any trouble. Doc was going to reassure Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam turned slightly and stared at his little brother sleeping in the corner. \u201cThat explains a lot. No wonder he\u2019s on the verge of collapse.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue didn\u2019t understand and said so. Adam smiled slightly \u201cI noticed that Joe was in a strange mood from the minute you two told us you were pregnant. I\u2019ll bet Nita told him her suspicions then. He lost Marie and he\u2019s not going to take this pregnancy easily. He probably lost a lot of sleep before ever hearing about Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n None of them could argue with his reading of events and Carole confirmed how tired Joe looked when he first came home. Adam pushed his tray away \u201cWell at least he\u2019s sleeping now. We\u2019ll try and help later and Nita will be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole went back to the children for a while but when she brought coffee up an hour later Adam smiled up at her. \u201cTell me what you think darling, we\u2019re too close.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole bent over Ben and felt his pulse \u201cHe\u2019s better. Pulse is stronger and he\u2019s not nearly as cold, seems to be breathing deeper.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was still no sign of colour in the sick man\u2019s face but the waxiness seemed to be subsiding and almost exuberantly she said, \u201cHe\u2019s going to make it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was surprisingly sombre, \u201cKeep your voice down, don\u2019t disturb Joe. I\u2019m sure you\u2019re right but we\u2019ve a long way to go yet. He\u2019s very weak and could still start running a fever.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sue sighed heavily \u201cAlmost certainly will. I still can hardly believe he\u2019s survived.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss put his arm round her and confidently said \u201cWe\u2019re used to dealing with fever, Pa\u2019s strong having got this far we\u2019ll pull him through.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam agreed but suggested they start getting organised for what might still be a long fight. Joe with luck would sleep the clock round, and it was what he needed. Adam told Hoss to go and get a decent meal with Sue and then get some sleep. Hoss protested that Adam should rest first, he\u2019d only had to sit on a train, his brother had had a long hard ride but Adam wouldn\u2019t hear of it. In many ways he thought he\u2019d had the easier time at least with rough terrain he\u2019d had something else to think about while Hoss could only worry. Finding him obdurate and knowing his usual success rate at changing his brother\u2019s mind Hoss gave way. Carole asked if her husband wanted some food but Adam shook his head \u201cLater. You\u2019d better get to the kids to bed and could you ask Hop Sing to bring me some broth and I\u2019ll try and get Pa to take some.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Left alone with his father Adam managed to spoon a little broth in and then wrapped Ben up more warmly before sitting by him mainly in silence, just occasionally commenting, but always holding Ben\u2019s hand sure that his father knew his touch. By late evening his fears were justified Ben was running a fever and murmuring in delirium. He was lying fairly still and his fever wasn\u2019t very high so Adam didn\u2019t get too worried. With Carole\u2019s help he could hold Ben still and they fought the fever with cold compresses, wiping his face regularly. Carole was surprised just how calm Adam was and she knew him well enough to know that it wasn\u2019t an act. She queried it and Adam smiled \u201cInevitable darling and it\u2019s really not very high. It\u2019s almost as though he\u2019s talking in his sleep, dreaming not really delirious.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Carole couldn\u2019t make much sense of the older man\u2019s mumblings but Adam knew so many stories of Ben\u2019s past, stories his father had told him when he was a child. He knew that his father was dreaming of his first wife and his own birth, losing her but with a dream to fulfil, years of slowly travelling west with his young son. Adam made no real effort to bring his father back to the present, Ben was peaceful in his dreams and his pulse was steady now and much stronger.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss came in soon after midnight when Adam had sent Carole to get some rest, annoyed that his brother hadn\u2019t called him but feeling better for some sleep. He frowned as he took in his father\u2019s condition, but Adam smiled \u201cEasy Hoss, he\u2019s not very feverish, dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss sat down and felt his father\u2019s forehead and pulse and nodded \u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s been back in the past, talking about my mother.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss calmed down a little \u201cGo and get some sleep Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIn a little while, I\u2019m restless couldn\u2019t settle yet.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s not likely to wake, least not until morning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know I\u2019d still rather stay. Don\u2019t worry about me Hoss I\u2019m fine.\u201d Adam was indeed quite relaxed, he\u2019d also been thinking about the past. His father was very weak but Adam felt strangely confident that he would make it. He had seen both his brothers, his wife and David worse and they had survived. It would take time but with the appendix removed there couldn\u2019t be any recurrence and nothing to stop Ben fully regaining his strength.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss realised that Adam was calm and didn\u2019t push him knowing he would be wasting his time. Slowly as though Ben had registered his big son\u2019s arrival his dream moved on to his second wife, the woman he had fought against loving. She had been so gentle and kind and it was only the change he saw in his young son that had made him realise that giving his love to her wasn\u2019t a betrayal of his love for Elizabeth. Such a gentle kind woman and her big son took after her in so many ways. Like Adam Hoss had heard the stories as Ben had tried to tell his sons of the mothers they had never known, explain why unlike other boys they had no mothers. He had wanted to make them see the women he loved through the eyes of his memories. Hoss had no trouble following his father\u2019s dreams and the two brothers sat by their father occasionally moving to wipe his face or change the cold compress, both deep in their own memories.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe woke up about four, sitting up suddenly very conscious of his father\u2019s voice and scared of high fever and delirium. For a moment he sat still, puzzled by his brothers, who both looked surprisingly calm and peaceful. Then he got up and went over. Adam turned seeing his fear, \u201cEasy Joe, he\u2019s dreaming. Fever\u2019s dropping off and it hasn\u2019t even been very high.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe wasn\u2019t convinced until he\u2019d checked for himself but Ben was much better than when he\u2019d settled down, his pulse so much stronger and steady and Adam was right he wasn\u2019t very feverish. As Joe slipped into the chair by Adam, his eldest brother moved over to the window and stared out at the dark night, the sky clear now, stars very evident. \u201cI think I\u2019ll lie down for a while now you\u2019re up Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss was pleased to get that much of a concession from his eldest brother. Adam took over the bed and closed his aching eyes but not really feeling like sleep. He could still hear his father\u2019s voice, not surprisingly Ben had now drifted on to his third wife, his Marie and Joe began to understand his brothers\u2019 attitude. Adam rested listening to his father and remembering the beautiful excitable lady who was the only mother he really remembered clearly. She had been with them for nearly five years. He had memories of Inger but he had been very young, Marie was very real to him and he knew just how like his Mother Joe was.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An hour later he heard Hoss say \u201cI think Adam\u2019s dozed off.\u201d But Joe turned and caught the flicker of a smile on his brother\u2019s face. Joe looked back at Hoss and shook his head \u201cI doubt it but at least he\u2019s resting. You had a sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cEarlier.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOnce Pa\u2019s woken up and had some food we can bully him into resting properly.\u201d Joe tucked his father in and with a great deal of pride in his voice he said \u201cPa\u2019s a real fighter isn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben heard the words and tone of voice and savoured it for a moment before opening his eyes for the first time. His hand in Joe\u2019s returned his son\u2019s grip, weakly but it was there, and he said \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam heard the difference and was over by his brothers before either of them could react, apart from smiling down at their father, Adam spoke for them all \u201cWelcome back Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked slowly from one to the other, he felt very weak his whole side and stomach on fire but he could read the confidence in their eyes that he was going to make it and he trusted in them. Hoss bent over and gently lifted his father\u2019s head to feed him a sip of water. Ben was grateful for it, so very thirsty. Too weak to talk not even aware of the hours he\u2019d spent murmuring, talking in his sleep. He looked up at his sons, piecing together what he remembered them telling him. He frowned and asked \u201cDoc?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam standing beside his little brother lent forward to wipe his father\u2019s face and, keeping his voice matter of fact, he said, \u201cDoc did a fine job took out your appendix, but he couldn\u2019t stay forever while you slept of the effects. He\u2019ll be back later but you don\u2019t need him now, Just rest, don\u2019t try and talk. One of us will be here all the time and you are going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben remembered refusing the operation and Adam\u2019s words about his little brother\u2019s strength and he managed a smile \u201cThank you Joseph.\u201d Then his eyelids so heavy he slipped back into a peaceful sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sat staring down at his father knowing exactly what he\u2019d meant, not even aware of the tears on his face, so relieved that his decision had been right and despite all the odds his father was going to make it. Adam gripped his brother\u2019s shoulders and Joe lent back against him while Hoss poured out three brandies. Joe was glad of it \u201cThanks Hoss. Dear God we\u2019re so very lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nThe Homecoming<\/a><\/span>
\nHome to Stay<\/a><\/span>
\nHoneymoon and Arguments<\/a><\/span>
\nJoe and Marie<\/a><\/span>
\nAdam and Carole<\/a><\/span>
\nA European Trip<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Aftermath<\/a><\/span>
\nA Busy Summer<\/a><\/span>
\nA Tree Falls<\/a><\/span>
\nSan Fracisco Trip<\/a><\/span>
\nA Stranger from the Past<\/a><\/span>
\nA Sense of Blame<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Medicine Man<\/a><\/span>
\nCourtship and Cattle Drives<\/a><\/span>
\nAngels with Red Hair?<\/a><\/span>
\nThieves and Murderers<\/a><\/span>
\nPipeline Problems<\/a><\/span>
\nGuests for Christmas<\/a><\/span>
\nA Turbulent Preacher<\/a><\/span>
\nJoe and Nita<\/a><\/span>
\nBen and Beth<\/a><\/span>
\nBanks, Pipelines, and Railroads<\/a><\/span>
\nLost<\/a><\/span>
\nA New Operation<\/a><\/span>
\nA Slow Recovery<\/a><\/span>
\nCelebrations<\/a><\/span>
\nForest Fire<\/a><\/span>
\nA Premature Birth<\/a>
\n<\/span>The Bank of California<\/a>
\nTrail Drive<\/a><\/span>
\nRobbery and Assault<\/a><\/span>
\nVirginia City on Fire<\/a><\/span>
\nRebuilding Virginia City<\/a><\/span>
\nCatching Up<\/a><\/span>
\nChristenings, Commissions, and Christmas<\/a><\/span>
\nWinter Ills<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #2 \u2013 Advance Warning<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #3 – Family Row #1<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #4 \u2013 Family Row #2<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #5 \u2013 Family Row #3<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #6 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #1<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #7 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #2 – Court Hearing<\/a><\/span>
\nThe Lawyer #8 \u2013 The Spanish Land Grant #3 – Knight Errant<\/a>
\nThe Lawyer #9 – The Spanish Land Grant #4 – The Long Journey Home<\/a>
\nThe Lawyer #10 – The Spanish Land Grant #5 – Troy’s Last Stand<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n