Summary: \u00a0Ben is worried that his memories of Marie will fade with time.
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 2,745 words<\/p>\n
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The Rose<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Based on an idea from Jenny. <\/p>\n Ben Cartwright sighed as he picked up the shawl and held it against his cheek for a moment.\u00a0 It felt so soft to the touch \u2026 almost as if \u2026 he shook his head firmly and placed it in the trunk along with the dresses that lay there before turning back to the dresser again and picked up the next item of clothing.\u00a0 He smiled as he stroked the green dress in his hands fondly.\u00a0 He remembered the night that he\u2019d last seen Marie in this.\u00a0 It had been last Christmas Eve and they were attending the social at the Henderson\u2019s.\u00a0 Marie had fairly shone that night, her beauty apparent for all to witness and Ben had been so proud of her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He placed the green dress in the trunk as well and turned back to open the next drawer of the dresser.\u00a0 He had been putting off doing this for so long \u2026 dreading the chore of putting his wife\u2019s personal things away \u2026 and it was proving to be as onerous a task as he had imagined it to be. Still, it had to be done and Ben Cartwright was not the sort of man to let someone else do it for him. Hard though it was, each article of Marie\u2019s clothing and possessions brought back memories of her \u2026 and with the memories came the pain that Ben had been trying to suppress during these past few months.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 Ben turned sharply to see Adam standing in the doorway. \u2018Are you all right?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m fine son,\u2019 Ben replied, placing yet another blouse in the trunk. \u2018I\u2019m just putting some of Marie\u2019s things away.\u2019 Adam came into the room and sat down on the bed to watch his father. \u2018Where is Little Joe?\u2019 Ben asked as he worked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Downstairs.\u00a0 I asked Hoss to watch him for a while.\u2019\u00a0 Ben nodded.\u00a0 Little Joe unsupervised was not a good thing and they all knew if they couldn\u2019t watch the child, to find another member of the family who could, before leaving him. \u2018Are you sure you\u2019re all right to do that?\u2019 Adam asked after a moment. \u2018I\u2019m sure that Hop Sing would do it if you asked him to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019d rather do it myself,\u2019 replied his father. He picked up another shawl. \u2018This one brings back memories. Marie used to wrap Little Joe in it when he was first born.\u00a0 She\u2019d sit here by the window nursing him \u2026\u2019 His voice trailed away as he brought the shawl up and buried his face in it. Adam watched as his father stood for a moment lost in thought, noting the frown on his face as he did so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018I\u2019m all right son,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s just \u2026\u2019 He wiped his hand over his face and sighed before putting the shawl in the trunk with the other things. \u2018Sometimes I feel as if I\u2019m losing her all over again,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Again?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u2018Her \u2026 smell \u2026 is beginning to fade from all of these things.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if her touch is gradually leaving everything around here.\u2019\u00a0 He smiled. \u2018I suppose that\u2019s natural.\u00a0 After all it\u2019s been six months now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam bit his lip. \u2018I suppose so.\u2019\u00a0 He looked at his father, desperate to help the man, yet not knowing how to. \u2018You won\u2019t ever forget her Pa,\u2019 he said quietly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at his son. \u2018I know that,\u2019 he said. \u2018None of us will. But \u2026 time makes things fade son.\u00a0 My memories of Marie are fresh now, but \u2026 in time they will become more distant.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Did that happen with my mother?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked startled. Adam hardly ever referred to his own mother and the fact that he did so now showed his father just how much he was hurting through all of this.\u00a0 Ben knew that they were all hurting. \u2018Yes,\u2019 he said simply. \u2018Yes it did.\u00a0 With Inger too.\u00a0 Much and all as we don\u2019t want it to, we lose part of those we love once they\u2019re gone. I just feel \u2026. It\u2019s hard to think that it will happen again, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was silence between them for a few moments as Ben methodically put things into the trunk. \u2018Is that going into the attic?\u2019 asked Adam finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes. I suppose it\u2019s silly.\u00a0 I really should give some of these things to someone who could use them, but I really don\u2019t feel that I\u2019m up to that yet,\u2019 replied Ben. \u2018One step at a time as they say, eh?\u2019\u00a0 He closed another empty drawer and opened a third one. \u2018I\u2019m going to keep a few things down here.\u2019\u00a0 He indicated a small pile of things on the bed. \u2018Her music box.\u00a0 Little Joe loves it so and I thought we could keep it downstairs so that he can listen to it now and then.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave her jewellery in the safe for the day when Little Joe might want them for his own wife.\u2019\u00a0 Adam grinned at the thought of his little tearaway brother with a wife. \u2018And there are a few things I thought you boys might want to keep as mementos,\u2019 finished his father. \u2018Take whatever you\u2019d like.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam picked up a few books and fingered them. \u2018These would be great,\u2019 he said. \u2018If that\u2019s all right.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben reached out and took them from his son\u2019s hands, turning them over so that he could read the titles. \u2018Fine,\u2019 he said, handing them back to Adam. \u2018Marie would like to think of you having them. \u2018I\u2019ll ask Hoss to have a look later. I thought that he might like her riding crop.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m sure he would,\u2019 agreed Adam. \u2018What about Little Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u2018I don\u2019t really know,\u2019 he said. \u2018He\u2019s so little \u2026 I don\u2019t know that anything would hold much significance for him at the moment.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018If you told him how Marie used to nurse him as a baby wrapped in that shawl he might like to keep that,\u2019 suggested Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You think so?\u00a0 That\u2019s a good idea son.\u2019\u00a0 Ben took the shawl out of the trunk and placed it on the bed again before closing the lid of the trunk. \u2018Well that\u2019s the dresser done. \u2018I\u2019ll start on her cupboard next.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a bang and a shout from downstairs and both men jumped slightly. \u2018Sounds as if Hoss could do with some help down there,\u2019 said Adam with a grin. \u2018I\u2019ll see to them Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Thank you son,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Later on you might help me carry this trunk up to the attic?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sure,\u2019 said Adam as he left the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat down on the bed, suddenly too tired and dispirited to keep going. It was true what he\u2019d said to his son.\u00a0 He really felt as if he was losing Marie all over again, and putting her things away didn\u2019t help at all.\u00a0 For a moment the old pain washed over him and he felt as if he was losing control as he had so many times during the past few months, but then he shook himself in a determined fashion. \u2018No!\u2019 he said aloud. He knew with certainty that those times were past and while he might have the occasional moment of despair he would never again allow it to consume himself as it had previously.\u00a0 Never again would he sink into that hole in which there was no hope.\u00a0 Never again would he allow his grief to overtake his duty to his boys and his love of life.\u00a0 Marie wouldn\u2019t want him to stop living and he had no intention of doing so.\u00a0 Still \u2026 it was hard and he wanted desperately to hold onto her even as he felt her slipping away again. Ben sighed as he stood up and walked to his wife\u2019s cupboard. He flung it open in a determined fashion and began to take out the dresses that hung there.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n ============<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his coffee cup down on the wooden table in front of him and smiled at the sound of Little Joe\u2019s squealing.\u00a0 The little boy was running around the front yard beaming as his brother Hoss ran after him, pretending to be a wild bear. \u2018Ya can\u2019t catch me!\u2019 shouted the child with delight as he sprinted towards the corral.\u00a0 Ben thought that he was probably right.\u00a0 Young as he was, Little Joe was amazingly quick on his feet; a fact that Ben had personally experienced many times when he\u2019d tried to catch him to give him a well deserved spanking for something.\u00a0 Marie used to say \u2026 Ben stopped for a moment. What was it that she used to say?\u00a0 Oh yes, that the boy was part jackrabbit!\u00a0 Ben chuckled at the memory of it, thankful that he could now.\u00a0 Only a few weeks ago he wouldn\u2019t have been able to do even that much.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He stood up and leant against the pole on the front porch, watching his two boys at their play.\u00a0 Little Joe scooted around the back of the barn and Hoss followed him, intent on catching his faster little brother for once. Ben leant his head on the pole and closed his eyes, thinking back to the many afternoons he and Marie had sat here watching the boys as he was doing now.\u00a0 If only she were still here.\u00a0 If only \u2026 Ben opened his eyes and looked at the climbing rose, so close to his face.\u00a0 He breathed in its fragrance and instantly it brought back the memories of that day a few years ago \u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What did you go and buy that for?\u2019 Ben asked, trying not to allow his irritation with his wife show too much in the tone of his voice.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie looked at him indignantly. \u2018I bought it because it\u2019s beautiful,\u2019 she said. \u2018Don\u2019t you think so?\u2019\u00a0 She held the fragrant red rose close to his face so that he could smell it. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t say that it wasn\u2019t beautiful,\u2019 said Ben grumpily as he shifted Little Joe from one hip onto the other.\u00a0 The baby wriggled constantly and his father would be very glad when he began to walk and not have to be carried around whenever they were in town. Then again, perhaps not, he thought as he reconsidered.\u00a0 The thought of a mobile Little Joe caused him to change his mind about wishing that the baby were able to walk. Ben was sure that they\u2019d have to watch this particular youngster very carefully once he found his feet. \u2018I just meant that it is a waste to buy a flower when we need so many other things,\u2019 he finished.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie put her hands on her hips. \u2018Ben Cartwright!\u2019 she admonished him. \u2018Sometimes we need to have things not only because they are practical, but because we need them.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t see why we need a rose,\u2019 persisted Ben. \u2018The money you spent on that would have bought enough seeds for our vegetable garden to last the whole season. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018Yes,\u2019 said his wife as she put the plant into the back of the buckboard. \u2018And next year we\u2019ll need seeds again. Or if it\u2019s not seed,s it will be something else.\u00a0 We\u2019re always going to need something Ben and in the meantime are we supposed to do without beauty in our lives because of it?<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018Of course not.\u00a0 Only \u2026\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie wiggled a finger at him. \u2018One day you\u2019ll be glad that I bought this,\u2019 she said. \u2018One day you\u2019ll thank me for it.\u2019\u00a0 She held out her arms for the squirming baby on Ben\u2019s hip and settled him on her lap, as she waited for her husband to climb up into the buggy. She gave him a sideways glance as they started off towards home. \u2018It\u2019s red one,\u2019 she said after a while. <\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018Hmph!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie tried again. \u2018It will have a beautiful fragrance.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Ben\u2019s frown deepened. \u2018Will it?\u2019 he said tersely.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie continued to hold the fidgeting baby on her lap with one arm and linked the other under Ben\u2019s, while resting her curly head on his shoulder. \u2018Don\u2019t be angry,\u2019 she said softly. \u2018I really need that rose darling.\u00a0 It\u2019s \u2026 food for my soul.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Ben gave her a puzzled look. \u2018Food for your soul?\u2019 he asked.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018Yes.\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you ever wanted something just \u2026 because?\u2019 she asked. \u2018For no other reason than you just knew that you need it in your life?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018I suppose so,\u2019 Ben acknowledged.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018Well, that\u2019s how I feel about this rose,\u2019 said Marie. \u2018I just want something beautiful to look at. Something that isn\u2019t there for a practical reason.\u00a0 Something that is there just because we want to enjoy it. I thought we could plant it in a pot near the front porch and let it climb up over the roof. It will look beautiful in a few years, Ben.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u2018I suppose so,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018Now that you\u2019ve bought it, I suppose we\u2019ll have to put it somewhere.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Marie smiled up at him. \u2018Thank you,\u2019 she said happily and kissed the top of Little Joe\u2019s curly head as he gurgled happily on her lap.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben remembered planting that rose just where Marie had wanted him to put it.\u00a0 Many nights they\u2019d sat out here on this very porch looking up at the stars when the boys were finally in bed, discussing their plans for the ranch and talking over events of the day.\u00a0 The fragrance of the rose had become an indelible part of those times and as he smelt it now it brought them back to him so vividly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It occurred to him that the scent of this flower was a part of Marie as well.\u00a0 She had loved it so and had always brought the cut flowers into their bedroom to enjoy, when she could.\u00a0 He buried his face in it and smelt the fragrance of the flower \u2026 her flower \u2026 her fragrance. Suddenly he knew that as long as this flower bloomed each spring, the scent of Marie would always be with him and that thought caused his heart to lift. She had been right. The plant had now grown so much that it was beginning to trail across the roof and its blooms were large and beautiful. Its fragrance once more pierced his soul as it brought back memories of her. It was the best reminder of his beloved Marie that he would ever have.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly Little Joe appeared from around the other side of the barn, Hoss close on his heels.\u00a0 He ran straight over to his father, jumping up into Ben\u2019s outstretched arms with a giggle. \u2018Save me Pa!\u2019 he shouted as Hoss tried to reach up and catch him and Ben swung the little boy upwards and away from his brother with a chuckle. He buried his face in towards the child and revelled at the fresh smell of him, smiling as his little son giggled again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well my little jackrabbit,\u2019 he said. \u2018What are you up to?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe hugged his father around the neck and Ben held him close for a moment longer. \u2018Hoss was chasing me Pa,\u2019 said the child. \u2018But he didn\u2019t catch me!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No,\u2019 said his father. \u2018I guess he didn\u2019t.\u2019\u00a0 He held the boy back at arm\u2019s length and marvelled at how very much like his mother he was. Ben smiled as he stared at his son with the rose behind him in the background. No \u2026 he realised with a start \u2026 the rose was the second best reminder that he would have of his beloved Marie. He was holding the best reminder of her in his arms.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He looked down at Hoss and then over at Adam who was standing at the other end of the porch laughing at one of his brothers trying to reach the other who was secure in his father\u2019s arms. At that moment Ben knew that it didn\u2019t matter how time eroded his memories of his three wonderful wives.\u00a0 He would always have the living memories of them here in the form of his three sons.\u00a0 Living memories that he would cherish all the more for the links they were to their mothers.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Come on,\u2019 he said to the child in his arms. \u2018Let\u2019s pick some of these roses to put in the house, shall we?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe scrunched up his nose and gave his father a puzzled look. \u2018How come Pa?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Just because,\u2019 said Ben with a smile. \u2018No special reason \u2026 just so we can enjoy them.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Summary: \u00a0Ben is worried that his memories of Marie will fade with time.
\n<\/em><\/strong>Thank you my friend!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 2,745 words<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1004,23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-63576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ben-cartwright","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-1004-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=63576"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63576\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=63576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=63576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=63576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}