The Trouble Magnet \u2013 3<\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cThank you, Hop Sing,\u201d Ben called to the cook as he set the remaining platters of food onto the dining table.<\/p>\n
\u201cLast meal for while.\u00a0 Tomorrow Hop Sing be on stage to visit cousin number four in San Francisco,\u201d he replied and then cast a displeased look at the vacant chair off to the right of Ben.\u00a0 \u201cWhere Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben glanced over at Adam and Hoss and spoke out.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is your little brother?\u00a0 I hollered for him a few minutes ago and figured he was outside washing up before coming to the table.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss piled mashed potatoes on his dinner plate and answered, \u201cLittle Joe told me to tell you that he\u2019s not hungry, Pa, and for us to go on and eat without him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBoy need eat too thin!\u201d Hop Sing complained with an annoyed grunt.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s okay, Hop Sing,\u201d Adam tried to calm the man.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s still just a kid; he\u2019ll fatten up like the rest of us once he\u2019s older.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing maybe so stay in San Francisco and not come back \u2013 nobody eat!\u201d he exclaimed and headed back into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s brow furrowed over both the cook\u2019s loud remark and the fact that his seventeen- year-old son hadn\u2019t come in for supper.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s that boy up to now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Pa \u2013 believe it or not he was in the barn polishing all the saddles.\u00a0 He already put in a full day but insists on working late trying to get even more chores done,\u201d Hoss explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, what\u2019s with him anyhow?\u00a0 I mean up to about a month ago we could hardly get him to do his daily chores and now he\u2019s been doing double,\u201d Adam wondered as he shot his father a confused stare.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, your little brother wanted to pay off the damages he caused six weeks ago by doing extra chores every day.\u00a0 He asked me not to say anything about it \u2013 but since he\u2019s almost met his self-imposed deadline, I don\u2019t see the harm in telling the two of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam shared surprised glances and then Hoss piped back up.\u00a0 \u201cNo fooling, Pa?\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s about worked off the damages to the windows he busted along with Hop Sing\u2019s canisters and your brandy decanter too?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded, \u201cHe sure has \u2013 by the end of the week he will be all squared up with me and by the next payday he will be back to drawing his wages.\u00a0 Now neither of you two boys tease Joseph, he\u2019s been as good as gold the last month and a half.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam snickered and commented, \u201cMore like fool\u2019s gold, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019ll be enough of that, Adam,\u201d Ben warned sternly.\u00a0 \u201cI realize that it\u2019s a bit hard to believe that Joseph hasn\u2019t been in any trouble in six weeks but it\u2019s time we acknowledge it when he behaves himself.\u00a0 We\u2019re the first to get after him when he acts up so we need to be the first to praise that boy when he\u2019s followed the rules and worked hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease to finish supper before long, Hop Sing need to wash dishes then get sleep.\u00a0 You take into town to stage in morning,\u201d the cook announced, coming out of the kitchen to hurry the family up a bit.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe will, Hop Sing,\u201d Ben nodded and sent a look around the dinner table.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get done, Boys, and then we\u2019ll carry the dishes in to help out tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa?\u201d Hoss began as he shoveled the second helping of roast beef in his mouth and chewed faster.\u00a0 \u201cWith the three of us needing to testify at the Duffy brothers rustling trial tomorrow and what with us having to drop Hop Sing off at the stage depot right before it starts \u2013 well \u2013 what about Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about him?\u201d Ben replied as he sipped his coffee and stared at his middle boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 all the hired hands are either out with the herd or working on that new sluice \u2013 that would mean that Little Joe would be here alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI realize that, Son,\u201d Ben nodded calmly.<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss exchanged woeful glances.\u00a0 They wondered how their father could even consider leaving their little brother there at the house alone after the many disasters that had happened to him the last two times he had been left there all by himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe kid took out the windows on the porch last time, Pa \u2013 not to mention what he did in the kitchen \u2013 and to your brandy decanter.\u00a0 Are you sure you want to chance it?\u201d Adam jumped in.<\/p>\n
Clearing his throat and trying his best not to look the least bit concerned over the prospect of leaving his youngest alone the following day, Ben answered, \u201cLike I just told you both, Joseph hasn\u2019t been in any trouble in six straight weeks.\u00a0 He\u2019s also not had so much as a paper cut \u2013 and with him that\u2019s a record stretch of time to go without an injury.\u00a0 I see no reason that he can\u2019t stay here while we are all in town at the trial.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before either man could voice their objections, which were many, the front door opened and Little Joe walked inside the house.\u00a0 He headed over to the dining table and called over to his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cI got everything done on my list, Pa.\u00a0 What would you think about me whitewashing the smokehouse tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling warmly over at his youngest Ben replied, \u201cThat\u2019s a big chore, Joseph, you sure you want to tackle that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe grinned.\u00a0 \u201cBy my calculations if I get the smokehouse painted and my regular chores done this week I ought to be about done paying you for all of the damages.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben cast a wary glance over at both Adam and Hoss, who he could tell were about to say something about all the damage Joe had done to the house.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s fine, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I\u2019ll turn in, goodnight,\u201d Joe announced and turned towards the stairs.<\/p>\n
Standing from the table Ben called across the room to the departing figure.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 I need to talk with you in my study for just a few minutes before you go upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Apprehensively turning around to look over at his father, Little Joe\u2019s heart sank in his chest.\u00a0 *** Oh no!\u00a0 Now what have I done?\u00a0 If Pa wants to speak to me in his study, there\u2019s got to be something that I did wrong.\u00a0 Think, Joe\u2014think!\u00a0 Have I broken anything? No\u2014not since the last fiasco when I was here alone and tore up the house \u2013 but that was ages ago.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not gotten hurt since I got bitten by Angie\u2019s dog either \u2013 hum maybe I got into some kind of trouble that I can\u2019t remember? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nPa read the appearance of both confusion and dread on the boy\u2019s face and sang out, \u201cDon\u2019t look so worried, Son, you\u2019re not in any trouble.\u00a0 I just want to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** I hope he\u2019s not just trying to lull me into a false sense of security only to get after me about something once the two of us are there at his desk. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe continued to dwell on his many errors in judgement and willful disobedience in the past, still unsure if he\u2019d done something recently which would land him in hot water with his father again.<\/p>\n\u201cYou two finish eating and then clear the table for Hop Sing.\u00a0 Excuse me,\u201d Ben said and moved across the room taking the time to sling an arm across Little Joe\u2019s shoulder as he steered him towards his study.<\/p>\n
**********<\/p>\n
Little Joe watched as his father sat down in his chair there at the desk and smiled up at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead and sit down, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Oh, I remember when Pa said that to me six weeks ago!\u00a0 Back then I couldn\u2019t sit down because that darn dog took a big chunk out of my backside \u2013 when I went to Angie\u2019s house after Pa warned me not to go. ***<\/em><\/strong> He thought back to what had happened the last time he had been alone at the ranch house and all the mayhem which had ensued that day.<\/p>\n\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben called over to his son trying to shake him out of his daze.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Pa,\u201d he apologized and sat down opposite him.\u00a0 \u201cDid I do something?\u201d<\/p>\n
Amused, Ben shook his head and grinned at the boy.\u00a0 \u201cNow do I get after you so much that you naturally assume I only ask you into my study to yell at you, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n
*** That sounds like a loaded question to me.\u00a0 The fact is yes; he does get after me most of the time when he asks me into his study \u2013 but if I say that he might think that I\u2019ve got a guilty conscience about something that I\u2019ve done.\u00a0 Maybe I shouldn\u2019t answer at all?\u00a0 No, then Pa will think I\u2019m being quiet because I HAVE done something wrong. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe\u2019s thoughts raced over the simple question that had been posed by his father.<\/p>\n\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 um \u2013 sorry, Pa.\u00a0 What did you ask me?\u201d Little Joe tried to stall for time so he could ponder the question a bit more, still trying to come up with the answer that his father wanted to hear.<\/p>\n
Ben stared at his son and couldn\u2019t help noticing how he was fidgeting there in the chair like a man who was about to get lynched.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, do I only call you into my study when I\u2019m mad at you?\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Same question just rephrased \u2013 I know this method — I heard the sheriff use it whenever he interrogates a criminal \u2013 Pa\u2019s really trying hard to throw me off.\u00a0 I\u2019d better say something.\u00a0 Come on, Joe \u2013 say anything at this point \u2013 but don\u2019t incriminate yourself! ***<\/em><\/strong> He continued to try and outthink his pa.<\/p>\n\u201cNo, Sir,\u201d Little Joe answered, his voice falling to a whisper.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re making me feel like I\u2019m an ogre, Son.\u00a0 I hope you don\u2019t think that all I want to do is yell at you whenever I call you in here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir\u2014I don\u2019t think that,\u201d Joe answered though he hadn\u2019t been entirely truthful in his reply.\u00a0 Pa did a lot of shouting from the chair behind his desk, something he could attest to having been the one opposite the man when he went on a roll.<\/p>\n
Ben tried for his most reassuring smile to make the boy there in front of him relax.\u00a0 \u201cSon, it\u2019s come to my attention that it\u2019s now been six weeks since the whole incident you had with Angie and the dog and the damage that you caused to the house that day.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gone that entire time without getting into any trouble and you\u2019ve not had one single injury either.\u00a0 Six weeks, Joseph!\u00a0 Why that\u2019s a milestone!\u201d Ben exclaimed enthusiastically.\u00a0 He rationalized that for Joseph going six weeks without causing chaos was like twenty years without causing trouble for any normal teenaged boy.<\/p>\n
Joe perked up a bit after witnessing his father\u2019s smile and hearing his praise.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u00a0 So, is that why you called me in here?\u201d He asked as he thought back to all the prior times he had been summoned to his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 Joe was still waiting for the last shoe to drop figuring that there would be a forthcoming lecture ahead for him.<\/p>\n
Clearing his throat Ben began once more.\u00a0 \u201cAs you know Hop Sing will be leaving tomorrow for a few weeks in San Francisco and I\u2019ll be dropping him off in town to catch the stage.\u00a0 Afterwards your brothers and I have to testify at the Duffy brother\u2019s trial.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe hired hands are all busy with the herd and working on the new sluice so none of them will be here,\u201d Ben continued.<\/p>\n
Little Joe\u2019s eyes grew bigger when he finally realized where his father was going with his little talk.\u00a0 \u201cIs this about me staying here by myself, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Son,\u201d Pa nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I guess I could ride with all of you into Virginia City and just wait outside of the courthouse until the trial is over?\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and returned, \u201cNo, Joseph\u2014I\u2019ve decided that it\u2019s fine for you to stay here and get your chores done and also whitewash the smokehouse \u2013 like you said you wanted to do so the two of us will be square again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked as though he was either going to cry or faint dead away after hearing what Pa had said.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t speak, so stunned by his father\u2019s calm demeanor in suggesting such a thing after all that had transpired the last two times Pa had come home to the house being torn up and all the injuries that Joe had incurred mostly at his own hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cSon?\u00a0 Are you okay?\u201d Ben asked, surprised by the appearance of both shock and terror on the boy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Is this like a test or something?\u00a0 I mean\u2014are you sure you want to chance it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben chuckled as he stood and walked around to his son and placed a comforting hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s not a test, Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen how hard you\u2019ve tried to stay out of trouble this last month and a half \u2013 and I don\u2019t have any qualms about you staying here while we\u2019re all away.\u00a0 We should be home right before dark if that trial doesn\u2019t hold us up too long.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to cook dinner!\u201d Little Joe exclaimed loudly thinking back to the two disastrous dinners he had attempted to make.\u00a0 Both times he had destroyed the kitchen and most of the house as well.\u00a0 He still shuddered every time Hop Sing prepared any dish with carrots in it.\u00a0 One carrot had caused him to cut a good gash in his right thumb the first time and during the last incident, when he was home alone, there was a carrot which was responsible for him knocking the stove pipe down and breaking all of Hop Sing\u2019s brand new canisters.<\/p>\n
Worried over the way his son seemed fearful at the very thought of cooking, Ben placed both of his hands on Joe\u2019s shoulders and massaged the knots that were forming there.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 it\u2019s okay \u2013 you don\u2019t have to cook.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s already prepared something for tomorrow\u2019s supper, and he even made a cake for the four of us, so you won\u2019t have to do any cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n
His chest rapidly heaving in and out a few times trying to catch his breath, Little Joe stared into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 For the life of him he couldn\u2019t figure out why Pa would ever want to trust leaving him at the house alone after all he had done in the past.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure, Pa?\u201d Joe asked weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I\u2019m sure, you\u2019ll do fine, Joseph, I trust you,\u201d Pa reassured.<\/p>\n
*** I NEVER EVER thought I\u2019d hear those words from Pa!\u00a0 I wonder if I\u2019m dreaming? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cOkay, Sir, if you\u2019re sure about this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I am, Joseph.\u00a0 Now you go on to bed — I know you\u2019ve put in a hard day\u2019s work,\u201d Ben smiled down at his boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that all, Pa?\u201d Little Joe asked warily.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes why?\u201d He returned, confused by his son\u2019s question.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 I mean\u2014there wasn\u2019t any yelling, so I didn\u2019t know if you were done with me yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned and shook his head, \u201cJoseph, you\u2019ve just got to stop thinking that all I do is yell at you.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Pa must\u2019ve forgotten about the plain fact that every single time he\u2019s called me into his study it\u2019s ended up with him shouting at me at least once \u2013 usually a lot more! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused as he stood from the chair.<\/p>\n\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll try not to think that Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Pa \u2013 and thanks for having faith in me.\u00a0 I won\u2019t let you down!\u201d Joe insisted and walked to the staircase.\u00a0 *** Please Lord, don\u2019t let a robber end up coming here tomorrow \u2013 or a vicious dog — or anyone who causes my horse to set the barn on fire.\u00a0 Amen. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe prayed as he headed to his bedroom.<\/p>\n************<\/p>\n
Ben turned to see both Adam and Hoss standing a few feet from the desk staring over at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Are you sure about this?\u201d Adam questioned before Hoss had the chance to ask.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I am,\u201d He answered, forcing a note of confidence to his tone of voice.\u00a0 \u201cIf you had seen that boy a few minutes ago \u2013 why he\u2019s getting to the point where he\u2019s more afraid of staying here alone than we are in letting him do it.\u00a0 Now I\u2019ve got to allow him to stay here tomorrow for his own good.\u00a0 The last thing I wanted was to make Joseph fearful, and perhaps I went a bit overboard with my last couple of talks with him.\u00a0 According to your brother I was a bit loud. \u00a0That boy was sure that I was going to shout at him \u2013 so I need to rethink how I approach these types of situations.\u00a0 He was almost petrified about staying here alone a few minutes ago and I don\u2019t want that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Are you forgetting that we lost almost all the windows on the front of the house due to that boy and his antics?\u00a0 I\u2019d say if you got a bit loud with Little Joe that it was justified,\u201d Adam reminded his father about the mess that they had to clean up after Joe\u2019s run-in with Angie\u2019s fianc\u00e9 which was brought about due to his disobedience.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not forgetting,\u201d Ben grumbled.\u00a0 \u201cBut we don\u2019t need to hold it over his head either.\u00a0 Joseph deserves a chance to show he\u2019s learned his lesson about behaving himself and following the rules.<\/p>\n
Adam sighed and shook his head as he walked off.\u00a0 \u201cThis I gotta see.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Pa, I hope the house will still be here when we get home,\u201d Hoss muttered as he walked over to the settee, joining his brother there.<\/p>\n
*** I hope so too! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought, his gaze following the departing figure of his youngest as he walked up the stairs.\u00a0 *** I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll do fine \u2013 nothing to worry about \u2013 nothing at all. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Ben watched Adam and Hoss come down the stairs dressed in their Sunday best clothes to go testify at the trial being held in Virginia City.\u00a0 He smiled proudly at both of his sons as he prepared to get his hat and leave with them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Brother,\u201d Adam began as he faced Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cTake one last look around at the living room because it might not be here when we get back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss laughed and then saw the scathing look that their father was sending over at the two of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Little Joe?\u201d Hoss changed the topic trying to prevent his father from admonishing the two of them for their lack of confidence in their little brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s saying goodbye to Hop Sing,\u201d Ben replied, still unamused by what Adam had said, even though he had thought the same thing right before his sons had come down the stairs but would never have admitted it.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Little Joe stood next to the cook who was giving him last-minute instructions before getting into the buckboard and leaving with Pa to catch the stage.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis pot pie, it for supper. You leave alone, Little Joe.\u00a0 It stay in warming oven until father come home tonight.\u00a0 No add wood heat just right.\u00a0 Do not make burn by adding more wood.\u00a0 You no touch!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, okay,\u201d Joe nodded as a frown took over his face.\u00a0 Hop Sing had been very insistent with all he had already said to him and was now repeating himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis cake \u2013 Hop Sing make for family.\u00a0 You no eat until family come home, Little Joe!\u201d The cook wagged his right pointer finger at the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not gonna touch it.\u00a0 Look, Hop Sing, if you don\u2019t hurry up Pa\u2019s gonna leave without you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look see \u2013 Hop Sing\u2019s canisters.\u00a0 They right here,\u201d The cook pointed to the shelf above the stove.\u00a0 \u201cMister Ben have to buy two set \u2013 all way from Boston \u2013 because you break both what Hop Sing had.\u00a0 Hop Sing want to see them right here when get back from San Francisco.\u00a0 You not touch you not break!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright I know!\u00a0 You\u2019ve told me almost every single day since Pa got you the second replacement set.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to be anywheres near them \u2013 I\u2019ll be minding my own business working outside all day long,\u201d Joe answered grimacing over being dressed down so early in the morning.\u00a0 He was keenly aware that he had destroyed the canisters, especially since Pa had made him pay for the last set, not to mention his very expensive imported brandy decanter which had just arrived on the stage just two days ago.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing finally broke into a smile aimed at his young charge showing his affection for the boy.\u00a0 \u201cYou be good, Little Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe gave the man a quick hug and returned his smile.\u00a0 \u201cI will \u2013 go and have a good time with cousin number four.\u00a0 Have a safe trip.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing hurried out of the kitchen followed closely behind by Little Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI ready now,\u201d the cook sounded out as Adam opened the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe got the buckboard hitched up and waiting on you,\u201d Hoss said and watched as Hop Sing hurried out the front door.<\/p>\n
Ben cleared his throat and stared at his two older boys.\u00a0 \u201cYou both go on outside I\u2019ll be there in just a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss exchanged amused glances, knowing that their father wanted to offer their little brother some parting words.\u00a0 Both men wished that they could stay and hear what Pa was going to say to Little Joe but from the look on his face their father wanted some privacy. \u00a0They left the house joining Hop Sing out front.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 come here for a minute please.\u201d<\/p>\n
Making his way across the room, Joe stood next to his father and waited for what he presumed would be a brief yet stern warning about how he was to stay out of trouble.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead, Pa,\u201d Joe frowned as he looked up into the man\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you looking at me like that?\u00a0 Do you think I\u2019m going to yell at you like you thought I was going to do last night, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 maybe not yell exactly, Pa.\u00a0 But I figured that you\u2019d probably remind me that I\u2019m a trouble magnet and that I need to watch myself, so nothing happens like it did the last two times I was here all by myself,\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n
Ben placed a hand onto his son\u2019s shoulder and offered him a reassuring pat.\u00a0 \u201cNow, Joseph \u2013 that\u2019s all in the past.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not said one word about you being a trouble magnet for weeks, now, have I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking his head Joe replied, \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 but I haven\u2019t been home alone for weeks either.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben chuckled and announced, \u201cYou\u2019ll do just fine, Son\u2014I\u2019m not worried at all.\u00a0 Now you go get to your regular chores and then go get the paint from the barn so you can whitewash the smokehouse.\u00a0 Like I said last night we should be home before dark.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d He nodded and smiled at his pa and then watched as he headed outside to the buckboard.<\/p>\n
Waving goodbye to his family as the two horses and wagon left the yard, Joe headed into the barn to start his chores.<\/p>\n
*** Maybe I\u2019m not a trouble magnet anymore. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself and grinned.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Little Joe removed the pencil from his green corduroy jacket and then grabbed the piece of paper that was folded inside of his pants pocket.\u00a0 He readied to cross off cleaning the barn from the long list.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat chore\u2019s done,\u201d Joe sighed after he drew a line across \u201ccleaning the barn\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cNow to chop wood and bring it inside to fill all the wood boxes in the living room and kitchen.\u00a0 But I\u2019m doing good so far and thankfully no-one has dropped by to interrupt me.\u00a0 I just want a nice peaceful day and to see the looks on everyone\u2019s faces when they come home and see that I can handle staying here alone without causing the least bit of trouble!\u201d<\/p>\n
Walking around the large stack of firewood Joe eyed the situation as he grabbed the axe.\u00a0 \u201cI never realized how dangerous it was to work around here.\u00a0 The wood pile is pretty high and if I don\u2019t watch myself a piece could fall from the top and drop down and break my foot or something.\u00a0 I better be careful choosing which piece to take from the top.\u201d Little Joe was very wary due to the memory of what had happened to him both times in the past three months that he had been left to his own devices.\u00a0 He was determined not to let history repeat itself, so he studied the wood pile prudently before gingerly removing the first piece to split.\u00a0 Carrying it over to the chopping block he readied his axe and swung hard, precisely breaking it in two.\u00a0 A broad smile turning up the corners of his lips, Joe tossed both pieces over to the side and then carefully chose another piece to chop.<\/p>\n
Two hours later Joe had finally finished the job of splitting all the wood which his brothers had previously stacked up for him so there would be plenty of it for the fireplace and stove.\u00a0 Mopping his brow, Little Joe tossed a good amount inside the wheelbarrow and decided he\u2019d fill the wood boxes before moving on to his next chore.\u00a0 He was extremely pleased that he hadn\u2019t hurt himself, not even getting a splinter, while tackling the huge pile of firewood.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere.\u00a0 The two wood boxes in the kitchen are filled and now to tackle the ones in the living room,\u201d Joe grinned proudly as he turned out of the house.\u00a0 Unfortunately, he hadn\u2019t heard the sound coming from upstairs, where some uninvited guests were having a good time making a mess of the place.<\/p>\n
Oblivious to the chaos, which was going on inside the bedrooms, after he had filled both wood boxes on the hearth, Joe made his way to the barn so he could grab the paint and brushes and begin to whitewash the smokehouse.\u00a0 It was only a little past two and he was happy that everything was moving along well, and he presumed he\u2019d get the smokehouse painted long before his family returned from Virginia City.\u00a0 He went right to work, choosing to paint everything that he could reach first before getting the ladder for the higher parts.\u00a0 Little Joe was cautious in all his movements, making sure that he wouldn\u2019t make a mess or get hurt in any way as he slowly coated each exterior wall.\u00a0 Standing back some to get a look at all he had accomplished, Joe sighed wearily.\u00a0 \u201cPa sure was right!\u00a0 This is one heck of a chore I decided to take on.\u00a0 But all I\u2019ve got to do now is the high parts and I\u2019ll be about done,\u201d he said aloud and then looked up at the placement of the sun in the sky.\u00a0 \u201cGee, it\u2019s getting late\u2014I don\u2019t know how long I\u2019ve been out here working but I\u2019d better go get the ladder, so I\u2019ll be finished before everyone gets back.\u201d\u00a0 Returning to the barn, Joe pulled the ladder out and walked back to the smokehouse.\u00a0 Leaning the ladder against the edge of the roof he brought the bucket up into his left hand.\u00a0 ***Be careful, Joe! ***<\/em><\/strong> He thought as he slowly ascended the ladder, always wary of the fact that he was known to get hurt while alone.\u00a0 He made his way around the highest parts, spreading the paint out just as far as he could reach but not overextending himself too much and then going down the ladder very carefully.\u00a0 When all that remained to finish his task was the very top of the last side Joe smiled to see that he had just enough paint.\u00a0 \u201cOnce more up and down and I\u2019ll be all done!\u201d He sang out and climbed up again.\u00a0 That was when his perfect day ended abruptly.\u00a0 Little Joe, becoming just a bit too eager to finish his project, reached over just a little too far and the ladder tilted sharply to the right.\u00a0 He made a brave attempt to catch himself, the paint and the ladder, however everything came crashing down on top of him.<\/p>\nLittle Joe angrily shoved the ladder off him and swore to himself.\u00a0 \u201cJust great!\u00a0 I almost had it all done \u2013 but no \u2013 I just had to mess up!\u00a0 Look at me now!\u201d He groaned, witnessing the paint that covered him.\u00a0 Tossing the paint bucket aside he stood and checked himself over.\u00a0 \u201cWell \u2013 at least I didn\u2019t hurt my right wrist again.\u00a0 I guess I can be thankful for that.\u00a0 I know Pa\u2019s been waiting for me to hurt myself again, so I\u2019ll need that old splint\u2014which is why he hasn\u2019t gotten rid of the dad burn thing yet.\u00a0 I guess being splinted five times is the limit for me!\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel anything busted- thank the good Lord!\u00a0 That\u2019s the last thing Pa needs to see when he gets home \u2013 me with a busted rib or wrist \u2013 or well \u2013a busted anything!\u00a0 Okay, I guess I need to go inside and change my clothes and then I\u2019ll come out here and clean up this mess.\u00a0 At least I\u2019ve got most of the job done until I can get more paint.\u00a0 I need to get something to drink anyhow,\u201d He sighed and walked slowly across the yard towards the house dripping white paint with each step.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Little Joe stared down at his boots just before he was about to open the front door.\u00a0 There was a good amount of paint on them, and he didn\u2019t want to drip it all over the floor.\u00a0 He pulled both off and sat them to the side and then pulled the door open.\u00a0 Joe hurriedly crossed the living room and made his way to the stairs, his only thought to get to his bedroom and take the paint off his hands and face before changing his clothes.\u00a0 He shook his head and sighed to himself as he turned the doorknob and entered his room.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the heck!\u201d he shouted as his eyes fell on the disarray all over the room.\u00a0 His bedding was thrown on the floor, and his pillows were gutted with their feathers still floating in the air.\u00a0 Everything that had been on top of his bureau was now tossed haphazardly around the room, some of the various items lying smashed on the floor.\u00a0 Little Joe walked over to where the curtains in his window were flapping in the breeze and he peered out.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Was there a windstorm?\u00a0 No \u2013 I was outside and I didn\u2019t feel anything!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was starting to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe a squirrel climbed in my window \u2013 yeah that\u2019s happened before \u2013 but no squirrel can lift a full-sized feather mattress unless it was the size of Hoss!\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked around the room looking at the mess.\u00a0 He bent down and checked underneath his bed to see if he could find whatever had caused the melee.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut my door was closed \u2013 there\u2019s no way that a squirrel can close a darn door!\u00a0 Unless \u2013 well \u2013 maybe it went right back out the same window?\u00a0 No \u2013 one squirrel just couldn\u2019t do all this!\u201d Joe reached down and pulled his mattress back up onto the frame.\u00a0 \u201cHum \u2013 maybe there were several squirrels? Yeah \u2013 that could have been \u2013 some evil squirrels out to destroy me like Angie\u2019s dog attempted to do!\u00a0 It\u2019s a plot by a bunch of tree rats all coming inside here to get me into trouble!\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe looked into the mirror on his bureau and just shook his head.\u00a0 There was a good deal of white paint all over his hair and face which spread down to his arms wherever he had his sleeves rolled up.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d better spruce up some \u2013 don\u2019t need Pa to see me looking like this.\u00a0 I can just close my bedroom door and clean this room up later and no-one will be the wiser.\u201d<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
\u201cHow much longer you reckon this trial will go on, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked as he stepped outside of the Virginia City Courthouse.\u00a0 The three men had been ordered by the prosecutor to remain in town until they were needed to testify.\u00a0 The short break in the proceedings gave them just enough time to head over to the International House for a very late lunch.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know, Son,\u201d Ben sighed as the three Cartwrights crossed C Street making their way to get something to eat at the hotel.\u00a0 \u201cI heard Randolf Bell say that this trial could last a couple of days so that means the three of us will have to come back here tomorrow unless things speed up when court is called back in session.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam opened the door for his father and brother, and they walked inside the International House.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a pretty good bet that we\u2019ll be coming back, Pa.\u00a0 By the time court\u2019s back in session there won\u2019t be enough time to put up much of a defense and you know that the Duffy brothers have paid that new attorney a lot of money to try and get them off.\u00a0 Randolf said that we have to be available for cross examination.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Boys, there isn\u2019t a thing we can do about it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just go get something to eat before that judge comes back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa \u2013 I wonder how Little Joe is doing?\u201d Hoss asked as they were led to their table.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I\u2019m sure Joseph is doing just fine, Hoss.\u00a0 I told him last night that I have faith in him, and I think that meant a lot to the boy,\u201d Ben smiled as he nodded over to the waitress.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam began and nudged Hoss\u2019 arm.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got faith too, faith that we\u2019re going to come home to a real mess.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben glared at his eldest but didn\u2019t reply to what he had said.\u00a0 He hoped that he had made the right decision in allowing his youngest to prove that he had turned over a new leaf and that Joseph wouldn\u2019t get hurt this go-round.\u00a0 Pa also prayed that the three of them would return to a house which was as tidy as they had left it.
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Adam nodded and fought back a knowing smile.\u00a0 He was very aware that his father still had qualms about leaving Little Joe home alone, but he\u2019d never admit it.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Little Joe made some progress getting the paint off his face and arms but to get it out of his hair he knew would require a bath so he\u2019d decided that he would have to put that off until later.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t too concerned about it as he figured it was normal to have some paint on a person if they had done a good job.\u00a0 Joe hoped that Pa would be so proud of him for having got that chore done without any injury that he wouldn\u2019t say anything if his hair was a bit white.\u00a0 After putting on fresh clothes, his spirits were a bit better, so he decided to go outside and clean his boots off.\u00a0 Little Joe walked out into the hallway where he spotted his father\u2019s bedroom door being open.\u00a0 Pa was a creature of habit and had always closed his door once leaving it for any amount of time.\u00a0 It was at that moment that Joe got that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach again.\u00a0 *** Please \u2013 let Pa\u2019s room be okay and not torn up like mine is! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he walked across to his father\u2019s room.<\/p>\n*** That\u2019s it \u2013 Pa\u2019s just not going to believe this! ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe told himself as he surveyed the damage before him.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s mattress was a lot bigger than his, but it had been pulled down to the floor also.\u00a0 And all his father\u2019s pillows were torn up, their feathers flying all around the room.\u00a0 Joe looked over at Pa\u2019s bureau and gasped when he saw that the formerly ornate lamp was now lying smashed on the floor.\u00a0 *** There\u2019s no way that squirrels could do this unless it was a whole blasted army of them!\u00a0 Why me, Lord?\u00a0 What have I done? Wait \u2013 maybe it\u2019s because of all the lies I\u2019ve told in the past?\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s a way of showing me the error of my ways, huh?\u00a0 No \u2013 I repented for those \u2013 that can\u2019t be it! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe\u2019s mind played out many scenarios trying to ascertain why he was being singled out by the Almighty at the time.\u00a0 *** Wait \u2013maybe it wasn\u2019t squirrels?\u00a0 Yeah, something bigger \u2013 that\u2019s it!\u00a0 Now \u2013 what climbs in windows and is big enough to pull a mattress from off a bed?\u00a0 Hum \u2013 a bear?\u00a0 Yeah \u2013 but I\u2019d imagine a bear would only come in looking for food.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019d better look around some \u2013to see if one\u2019s around? ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe cautiously looked inside his father\u2019s wardrobe and underneath his bed but came up without any clues as to the identity of whatever had wreaked havoc upstairs.\u00a0 *** I hope I find whatever did this so I can kill it and show it to Pa and get myself off the hook for all this damage!\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019d better check the other rooms? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nUpon careful inspection, Little Joe determined that whatever had invaded the house had singled out only his room and his father\u2019s.\u00a0 None of the other bedrooms showed any damage to them.\u00a0 *** Sure \u2013 couldn\u2019t be lucky and have whatever it was just target Hoss\u2019 and Adam\u2019s bedrooms.\u00a0 No, it just had to be Pa\u2019s and mine!\u00a0 Once again \u2013 it just isn\u2019t my day.\u00a0 But if I can find whatever it was that wrecked the place Pa probably won\u2019t shout at me too much.\u00a0 Maybe it went downstairs looking for food? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nLittle Joe stealthily made his way down the stairs and scanned the living room.\u00a0 He noticed that everything seemed to be in order.\u00a0 Just when he was beginning to think that whatever had come into the bedrooms had simply gone back out the way they came in, he heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.\u00a0 If he had been thinking clearer, he would have grabbed his Colt before running off in that direction, but he was far too mad to think straight at the time.\u00a0 He just wanted to catch whatever it was and kill it.\u00a0 Rounding the corner of the dining room Joe launched himself into the kitchen just in time to get a glass thrown at his head.\u00a0 It struck him just underneath his left eye, which stunned him momentarily, knocking him down to the floor just a few feet back inside the dining room.\u00a0 And that\u2019s when he heard the strangest sound he ever had, something between a laugh and a scream.\u00a0 Little Joe looked on in horror as he saw three fast-moving hairy critters which were tearing up the kitchen and apparently having a lot of fun doing so.<\/p>\n
*** Oh no!\u00a0 I\u2019ve probably had so many injuries to my head over the years that it must\u2019ve done some kind of damage to my brain! \u00a0I must be having what I heard Doc Martin call a \u201cbreak from reality\u201d.\u00a0 Yeah\u2014that\u2019s got to be it.\u00a0 I can\u2019t be seeing this \u2013 it\u2019s not real! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought as he tried to focus on what was playing out there in front of him.\u00a0 Just when he was content with his own diagnosis a dinner plate came sailing out of the kitchen landing on his chest.\u00a0 Joe held the plate in his hands and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWell, if I\u2019m having a break from reality then so is whatever just threw this at me!\u201d Joe shouted and pulled himself to his feet touching his wounded eye.\u00a0 He carefully advanced into the kitchen and was shocked to see three hairy little hellions tearing up the place and making a lot of noise doing so.<\/p>\n*** Monkeys?\u00a0 Those are monkeys!\u00a0 I ain\u2019t never seen any in the flesh but that\u2019s what they look like in books!\u00a0 Yeah, hey those are the kinds of monkeys that don’t have tails for some reason. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe realized what had invaded the house now.\u00a0 *** But what the heck would monkeys be doing here \u2013 well – besides destroying the place? *** <\/em><\/strong>He wondered just in time to feel a rolling pin slamming into his chest.\u00a0 Joe stared down at one of the monkeys who laughed at him and then jumped up onto the China cabinet. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cOw! \u00a0That hurt!\u201d Joe shouted and attempted to grab the monkey that had just hit him, but the creature was much too fast and launched itself onto the butcher block where Hop Sing had left a knife.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 Put that down!\u201d Joe shouted again only to see the other two monkeys join the first and now all three laughed over at him.\u00a0 Before Joe could make his way over and disarm the simian it threw the knife in his direction.\u00a0 He fell back down to the floor trying his best not to get stabbed as the knife sailed through the air.\u00a0 \u201cDad blast you little ape!\u201d Joe yelled and reached for a pan, which was within an arm\u2019s length from him, and put it over his head as a helmet.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to take another blow to my head!\u00a0 Now I don\u2019t know where you three came from, but I know where I want to send you!\u201d\u00a0 At that moment the three chimps ran off in all directions making it harder for Joe to decide the best course of action.\u00a0 One of the chimpanzees opened the stove and stuffed piece after piece of wood inside of it.<\/p>\n\u201cHey!\u2019 Joe shouted and tried to get to the stove.\u00a0 He tossed the pan off his head feeling foolish to be chasing monkeys around the kitchen wearing it.\u00a0 \u201cNow cut that out!\u201d<\/p>\n
One of the monkeys jumped onto the table right next to where Hop Sing had left a beautiful four-layer chocolate cake that he had made the night before.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Joe turned around in a valiant effort to save the cake.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t touch!\u00a0 Bad monkey, don\u2019t you put your hairy little hands in that!\u201d<\/p>\n
The laughter rang out from all three chimps as the one on the table stuck its hands inside the cake and launched a good amount of it directly at the boy.\u00a0 Joe stood there stunned once again now with icing coating his hair and pieces of the once- lovely dessert sliding down his face.\u00a0\u00a0 He eased back carefully trying to find a weapon of some kind to make it a fair fight.\u00a0 Finally, Joe was able to find a carving knife, and he decided that it was time for him to go on the offensive.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate like heck to have to do this \u2013 but if it\u2019s me or the three of you then it\u2019s not gonna be me that gets the worst wounds this time!\u00a0 You apes are destroying this kitchen, and I can\u2019t let that happen!\u00a0 I\u2019m not about to try and explain to my pa that three dad blasted monkeys destroyed the house.\u00a0 You evil apes have already gotten me into trouble with the damage you caused to Pa\u2019s bedroom!\u201d He shouted and tried to grab a hold of at least one of the monkeys.<\/p>\n
The next minute there was a very loud crash that rang out behind where Joe stood and he turned to see one of the chimps up on the shelf which housed Hop Sing\u2019s brand-new replacement canisters.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no you didn\u2019t!\u201d Joe screamed at the monkey after witnessing the remains of the first canister lying smashed on the floor.\u00a0 \u201cNo don\u2019t throw another one!\u201d<\/p>\n
The chimp responded by laughing loudly and then tossing another canister down to the floor.\u00a0 Joe made a brave effort to catch it before it landed but he missed.\u00a0 And unfortunately, as he dove to prevent it from breaking, he injured his right wrist, slamming it into one of the legs of the stove.\u00a0 He cried out in pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat!\u00a0 Now you\u2019ve made me hurt my dad gum wrist again!\u00a0 Pa\u2019s gonna have a pure fit.\u00a0 I\u2019ll probably have to go and find that old splint again.\u00a0 I thought that having my hand splinted five times was my limit!\u00a0 How in the heck can my family go away for the day and I end up with a passel of monkeys on my hands?\u00a0 I mean there\u2019s no zoo in this part of the country \u2013 maybe back east but not here.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve not seen any sideshow anywhere near Virginia City for ages.\u00a0 Not to mention the fact that I\u2019ve never seen a monkey at any of the sideshows that have been in town anyway.\u201d Joe sang out as he pulled his sore wrist into his lap.\u00a0 Before he could get up another canister crashed down next to him.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead there\u2019s one more \u2013 you might as well complete the set,\u201d He muttered in defeat as he looked up at the chimp who still sat there on the shelf just smiling down at him.\u00a0 The next sound was of the last canister hitting the floor.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t paying for those this time!\u201d Joe insisted as he pulled himself back to standing.\u00a0 \u201cIt ain\u2019t my fault that somebody misplaced their band of evil monkey vandals!\u201d\u00a0 He quietly retrieved the carving knife, holding it behind his back. \u00a0Cautiously Joe made his way closer to the monkey that still sat next to what was left of the cake.\u00a0 \u201cHere little feller, nice monkey\u2014old Joe is going to be real kind to you \u2013 now you just sit there, okay?\u201d\u00a0 He attempted to control the rage he was feeling as he grew closer to the chimp.\u00a0 It was then that the unexpected happened and the monkey launched itself directly at Joe, causing him to drop his knife.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh!\u201d Joe yelled as he fought to get the thing off his chest.\u00a0 It began to run its hands through his hair.\u00a0 \u201cGet the heck off of me!\u201d He exclaimed and fought to pull the hairy arms off his shoulders where the ape was beginning to climb up to his head.\u00a0 \u201cGet off!\u201d Joe screamed again only to feel another monkey launch itself onto his back.\u00a0 \u201cTwo against one \u2013 now is that fair?\u201d He asked as he tried to pry the simian hands off from around his neck.\u00a0 Joe felt two hairy hands as they covered his eyes causing him to move backwards fighting off the advance of both chimps.\u00a0 He felt the stab of pain and realized that he now had a piece of one of the ceramic canisters embedded into his right foot.\u00a0 Joe had forgotten that he was in his stocking feet at the time.\u00a0 \u201cOw!\u00a0 You evil beasts!\u201d he shouted and tried to remove the chimps so he could pull the ceramic shard from his foot.\u00a0 The only response was the sound of more raucous laughter.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve just got to make it into the living room so I can get my gun and then the three of you won\u2019t be laughing anymore!\u201d Joe swore and attempted to throw his back against the wall to dislodge the two monkeys which had climbed on top of him.\u00a0 Right before he slammed into the wall both chimps jumped off.\u00a0 Joe knocked the wind out of himself as he hit the wall hard and then slowly slid back down onto the floor.\u00a0 He turned to see both monkeys just a few feet from him clapping their hands as though he had amused them.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, go ahead and clap!\u00a0 You won\u2019t be smiling at me in a minute.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 where did your little friend go?\u201d Joe asked as he pulled himself off the floor and removed the broken piece of the canister from his foot.\u00a0 He glanced around the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019ll find him \u2013 but first I\u2019ve got to go find my good friend Mister Colt and then take care of all three of you little beasts!\u201d Joe shouted and turned out of the kitchen heading for the living room and his gun.\u00a0 The two chimps followed right behind him.<\/p>\n
Having reached the credenza, Little Joe grabbed his holster.\u00a0 He stood there perplexed to see that it was empty.\u00a0 \u201cHey, where\u2019s my gun?\u201d<\/p>\n
In response to his question, Joe heard the all too familiar sound of a gun cocking.\u00a0 He looked over to the coffee table where the missing chimp now stood holding his Colt revolver.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u00a0 No \u2013 don\u2019t do that!\u00a0 Put my gun down \u2013 come on somebody might get hurt!\u201d Joe called over to the chimp.\u00a0 *** Yeah, someone will get hurt and I have a bad feeling that it\u2019s going to be me.\u00a0 Oh, Lordy!\u00a0 Pa\u2019s not going to believe that I was shot dead by a dad-burn monkey! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself, swallowing hard as he watched the chimp taking aim.<\/p>\nA bullet breezed by Little Joe\u2019s right ear just barely missing his head.\u00a0 He screamed in terror and ducked down low.<\/p>\n
\u201cPut it down!\u00a0 You are a bad bad monkey! \u00a0What \u2013 are you trying to kill me?\u201d<\/p>\n
The sound of two chimpanzees clapping filled the room followed by a lot of laughter.\u00a0 Joe crouched down low next to the credenza and tried to figure out how he could get the gun out of the chimp\u2019s hairy little hands.\u00a0 He heard the clicking of the hammer of his gun once more and then the sound of it being discharged echoed in his ears.\u00a0 Little Joe looked on as the lamp that sat just to the right of his father\u2019s chair next to the fireplace took a direct hit, breaking the glass and sending kerosene spilling down onto the floor.\u00a0 ***Not another lamp!\u00a0 You\u2019ve already taken out Pa\u2019s favorite one in his bedroom, the one next to my bed, and now the one that Pa uses to read by.\u00a0 I hope that you just shoot me now \u2013 it\u2019ll be a far easier death than what Pa has in store for me when he gets home. *** <\/em><\/strong>he thought and shook his head.\u00a0 *** Okay \u2013 you\u2019ve only got four more bullets and then you\u2019re mine, you evil little ape!\u00a0 Now all I have to do is keep away from where you\u2019re pointing that thing. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused to himself as he quickly ran in the direction of his father\u2019s study.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I guess we\u2019ll just have to come back tomorrow, Boys,\u201d Ben said as the three men walked across the street from the courthouse to get their horses.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss replied as he untied his reins.\u00a0 \u201cThat lawyer that the Duffy brothers hired sure is long-winded, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess he\u2019s trying to prove to the Duffy brothers that he\u2019s earning the huge retainer he got from them,\u201d Adam nodded and swung up into his saddle.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, let\u2019s go \u2013 it\u2019s going to be dark before we get home,\u201d Ben answered as he stared at his pocket watch.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad that old Hop Sing left us a chicken potpie and that big chocolate cake.\u00a0 I\u2019m hungry, Pa,\u201d Hoss announced as he turned his horse and looked over at his father and brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt will be waiting on you, Hoss,\u201d Ben smiled knowingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah\u2014if Joe hasn\u2019t done anything to it,\u201d Adam sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph didn\u2019t have to do anything in the kitchen today relax.\u00a0 He\u2019s probably just finishing up with whitewashing the smokehouse about now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam tried to hold back his amusement over what his father had said.\u00a0 He had little faith that his youngest brother had stayed out of trouble because of his track record.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019re right, Pa \u2013 and everything will be as we left it when we get back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, Adam \u2013 you\u2019ve got to stop thinking that Joe can\u2019t handle things.\u00a0 Yes, your little brother had a bad spell there for a while, but he\u2019s straightened out now and I\u2019m quite sure that he\u2019s stayed out of trouble,\u201d Ben returned and hoped that he wouldn\u2019t have to eat his words<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, wasn\u2019t it you, Pa, who gave Little Joe the nickname trouble magnet?\u201d Adam grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Ben returned gruffly.\u00a0 He kicked at Buck\u2019s sides and the three men headed back to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
Little Joe bided his time as he attempted to get to the desk drawer where Pa usually kept a loaded Colt revolver just in case there was an intruder who might get through the front door.\u00a0 He decided that he would rather die while defending himself and the house than just stand there like a sitting duck.\u00a0 However, every attempt he had made to get around the desk had been answered by a bullet.\u00a0 He watched in shock as the chimp with the weapon blasted the light above the dining table and then turned and fired a bullet which hit the window behind Pa\u2019s chair.\u00a0 Joe figured that it would make for a very cold supper if he survived until his family returned home.<\/p>\n
*** Let\u2019s just figure this out. ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe crouched just to the side of his father\u2019s desk and briefly closed his eyes as he counted the spent rounds in his head.\u00a0 *** That evil ape sent a bullet over at me when I was standing at the front door.\u00a0 That\u2019s one. Then that monkey blasted Pa\u2019s lamp next to his chair by the fireplace.\u00a0 That\u2019s two. After that it hit the chandelier above the table dead center, followed by the one that took out the window behind Pa\u2019s chair in the dining room.\u00a0 Humm that takes care of bullets number three and four.\u00a0 Only two more and that monkey is all mine! ***<\/em><\/strong> he thought as he quickly surveyed all the damage thus far.\u00a0 Little Joe noticed that the other two monkeys had entertained themselves by throwing the decorative pillows from the sofa into the fireplace along with Adam\u2019s brand-new novel which he had left on the coffee table.<\/p>\nTwo of the chimps advanced across the room and made their way next to where Joe was crouched down next to his father\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou stupid apes \u2013 don\u2019t you realize that your friend over there has a loaded weapon and might kill you?\u201d Joe asked as they stood in front of him smiling.\u00a0 He watched as both monkeys jumped over his head and landed on Pa\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Before Joe could make a move to push them off, they began throwing the papers and ledger books around the room.\u00a0 \u201cNow cut that out!\u00a0 Leave Pa\u2019s stuff alone!\u201d Joe yelled as he stood up.\u00a0 Just then another loud blast of his gun sounded out, and he turned just in time to see the window behind his father\u2019s desk blown to bits.\u00a0 \u201cNot that window!\u201d Joe groaned.\u00a0 \u201cI just finished paying for the damages from being thrown through that by Angie\u2019s stupid fianc\u00e9!\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m not paying one red cent towards the damage that you evil little apes have caused!\u201d<\/p>\n
The chimp which had been having a grand time shooting Joe\u2019s Colt jumped down from the coffee table and was quickly over to the study.\u00a0 Little Joe stood there horrified as the chimpanzee aimed the gun directly at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, just go ahead and get it over with,\u201d Joe called down to the monkey.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve had seventeen years on this earth \u2013 guess that\u2019s all I needed to see what the rest of my life would have been like.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe closed his eyes as the chimps on the desk began to clap and the one with the gun started to laugh.\u00a0 It was then that the ape turned and blasted Pa\u2019s brand-new imported brandy decanter.<\/p>\n
\u201cI should have seen that one coming,\u201d Joe sighed as he watched the amber colored liquor pour down onto the floor.\u00a0 \u201cIt would\u2019ve been more merciful if you\u2019d just shot me instead of that you stupid ape!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe hurriedly grabbed for the gun that the chimp still held and was able to get it away from the monkey.\u00a0 \u201cNow to go reload!\u201d He exclaimed happily and hurried to the credenza.\u00a0 At that moment all three monkeys raced back across the living room and headed to the kitchen once more.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, you just try to run \u2013 see where that\u2019ll get you!\u201d Joe laughed as he pulled out a box of shells from inside the credenza and reloaded.\u00a0 It only took a couple of minutes before he had six bullets in his gun and then Little Joe smiled maniacally.\u00a0 \u201cYou apes are mine now!\u201d He called and ran to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Little Joe frowned to see that the kitchen door was wide open, and all the monkeys had gone from sight.\u00a0 He walked outside and scanned the area.\u00a0 \u201cNow where did you little beasts run off to anyway?\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked around and it was as though they had vanished into thin air.\u00a0 \u201cOh no you\u2019re not leaving me here all by myself to try and tell my Pa that monkeys destroyed the place and then disappeared!\u00a0 I want the three of you \u2013 or your dead bodies.\u00a0 I need proof!\u201d Joe shouted and began to check around the yard and outbuildings.\u00a0 He knew that he needed some kind of evidence that a bunch of chimpanzees were the ones responsible for all the damage done to the house and to his body.\u00a0 There was no way possible that Pa would believe his story without some kind of proof and Little Joe knew it.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
More than two hours later, after a thorough search all around the area, Joe came up empty when he tried to find where the three destructive monkeys had run off.\u00a0 He haplessly gave up on finding them and had to attempt to patch his injuries as well as trying to straighten up the place, though it was an insurmountable challenge.\u00a0 Rummaging through the medical supplies, Little Joe was able to find his old splint and placed it on his right wrist before trying to doctor the cut on his foot.\u00a0 He also cleaned the paint off his boots so he would be prepared for later when he was sure he\u2019d be taking a little trip out to the barn next to his father.\u00a0 Joe was just finishing pulling his father\u2019s mattress back up onto the bed frame when the sound of riders coming into the yard stopped him from tidying up anymore.\u00a0 His blood ran cold when he thought about what was going to happen next.<\/p>\n
*** I guess this is all my fault for not being more specific when I pray.\u00a0 Last night I asked for no robber, vicious dog attack, or anyone who would make Cochise set the barn on fire.\u00a0 I guess I should’ve added to that no attack by evil monkeys! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he prepared for the upcoming inquisition.<\/p>\n************<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll put the horses and the buckboard away after supper,\u201d Ben announced as he entered the house followed closely behind by his two sons.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, why\u2019s it so dark in here?\u201d Adam questioned, confused as he stopped next to the credenza alongside his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 hey what\u2019s with those lanterns, Pa?\u201d Hoss added and pointed across the room to the hearth.<\/p>\n
Ben stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed that the lamp above the dining table wasn\u2019t lit nor was his lamp next to his favorite chair by the fireplace.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice thundered as he made his way to the staircase.<\/p>\n
Little Joe drew in a deep breath and peered down at the living room where his brothers and father stood.\u00a0 He already spied the stern gaze that Pa was sending his way.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Pa, did you three have a good day?\u201d Joe asked as he apprehensively descended the stairs with a slight limp.<\/p>\n
Surveying his youngest as he drew closer, Ben couldn\u2019t help noticing the splint on the boy\u2019s right wrist nor the way he was partially limping down the stairs towards him.\u00a0 When Joe made it to the first landing, Ben could also see that he had a black eye.<\/p>\n
Drawing in a deep breath and trying his best not to yell too much just yet, Pa glared over at the boy and answered, \u201cWe had a good day, and you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe shook his head and winced his face waiting for the yelling to begin.\u00a0 \u201cUm \u2013 Pa \u2013 I got the smokehouse all done and all my regular chores along with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are there kerosene lanterns on the fireplace, Joseph?\u201d Pa asked and waited for his youngest to draw closer, but the boy had kept his distance not advancing from the first landing yet.<\/p>\n
Little Joe gave a slight shrug to his shoulders and replied, \u201cWell \u2013 you see \u2013 I needed to get some more lights because some sort of got broke, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew it,\u201d Adam muttered and watched as his father shot him a stern glare.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat lights got broken, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 there\u2019s the one next to your chair, Pa,\u201d Joe began to try to explain but Pa cut him off.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich<\/strong> chair?\u201d Ben responded angrily.<\/p>\n\u201cUm \u2013 Pa \u2013 I guess both of your chairs.\u00a0 There\u2019s the light next to your red chair,\u201d Joe pointed still wincing his face in preparation for his father\u2019s shout.\u00a0 \u201cAnd then there\u2019s the one above your chair at the dining table, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss picked up one of the lanterns and made his way into the dining room.\u00a0 \u201cThe light above the table is gone and the window behind your chair is busted too, Pa,\u201d He called across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Why is the window broken in the dining room?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you see, Pa –,\u201d Joe began but was interrupted by Adam\u2019s call from the study.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 the window behind your desk is busted again.\u00a0 I was wondering why it was so cold in here!\u201d Adam exclaimed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, it\u2019s cold in the dining room too,\u201d Hoss hollered across the room shaking his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell close those shutters!\u201d Ben demanded and watched as Hoss did as he had been instructed before he turned back towards Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThere are broken windows in the house and broken lamps evidently too, Joseph.\u00a0 Now \u2013 would you care to explain why that is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really,\u201d Joe muttered as he looked down at the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat!\u201d Ben shouted and took a few steps up towards his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Pa \u2013 just thinking out loud,\u201d Joe apologized fearfully.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome down here,\u201d Ben growled easing back down the steps.\u00a0 He pointed for his son to stand next to him.<\/p>\n
*** What am I supposed to say to him now?\u00a0 Am I really going to stand there next to Pa and tell him that monkeys destroyed the house? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben yelled to jar the boy into doing as he had been told.<\/p>\n
\u201cComing, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and made his way down the stairs and over to his pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything\u2019s knocked over on your desk, Pa.\u00a0 And your new brandy decanter is gone,\u201d Adam called still standing in his father\u2019s study.<\/p>\n
Ben simply turned and offered his youngest a scathing glare as he waited for an explanation.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t have a chance to clean down here yet.\u00a0 Your brandy decanter \u2013well it kind of got busted too.\u00a0 I did pick that up, but I didn\u2019t get to everything that got messed up down here \u2013 I was busy trying to clean your bedroom, Pa.\u00a0 And I had to bring lights down here first,\u201d Joe began.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy brand-new expensive imported brandy decanter, Joseph?\u00a0 I had to wait almost two months for that to come in after you broke the last one.\u00a0 It\u2019s broken too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa \u2013 it got busted too,\u201d Joe nodded and closed his eyes waiting for the eruption from his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd, Young Man, are you saying that my bedroom is messed up as well?\u201d Pa continued, growing louder as he raised his eyebrows in gesture.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 it got messed up so I was straightening it up right before you got here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis I have to see!\u201d Ben announced and began to go up the stairs.<\/p>\n
Little Joe caught his father\u2019s arm, stopping his progress.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 if you\u2019re going up there, you\u2019d better take one of those lanterns on the hearth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have my own lamps, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 the plain truth is \u2013 you don\u2019t anymore, Pa,\u201d Joe offered weakly.<\/p>\n
Ben turned from the stairs and groaned as he closed his eyes.\u00a0 He was beginning to get that headache again, the one whose source was the young man who stood there looking weakly up at him now.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean I don\u2019t have my lamps?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 they got busted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did they get busted, Young Man?\u201d Ben queried in a low controlled voice.\u00a0 He grabbed his son\u2019s arm and held on tightly to the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow \u2013 that\u2019s a long story, Pa,\u201d Little Joe stammered.<\/p>\n
Ben leaned over and reached towards his youngest.\u00a0 Joe flinched his face presuming that his father was about to hit him.\u00a0 He had never slapped his face before, but Joe figured that there was always a first time for everything.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Why are there feathers in your hair?\u201d Ben asked as he pulled a few off the boy\u2019s head and held them out in front of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 well \u2013 those \u2013um \u2013they\u2019re from your pillows, Pa.\u00a0 They kind of got ripped open.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose feeling the advancing headache which was growing fiercer the longer he listened to Little Joe\u2019s very sparce explanation.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa?\u201d Hoss called from the dining room.\u00a0 \u201cYou think we could eat before you clobber Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned again and replied, \u201cFine \u2013 you and Adam can go ahead and eat.\u00a0 I’ll wait awhile because for some strange reason, I’ve just lost my appetite.\u00a0 Go get that chicken potpie out of the oven.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe watched as Hoss was getting ready to walk into the kitchen.\u00a0 He knew he had to stop him somehow.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 the potpie \u2013 well it\u2019s \u2013 it\u2019s –,\u201d Joe stopped suddenly fearing the reaction he was about to get from both Pa and the always hungry Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s what?\u201d Pa asked frustrated.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s burnt up,\u201d Joe announced.<\/p>\n
\u201cBurnt up!\u201d Hoss shouted and his face took on a very angry countenance.\u00a0 \u201cHow could you burn up a potpie that you weren\u2019t supposed to touch, Little Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t do it!\u201d Joe yelled and then felt the strong squeeze to his arm from his father\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you didn\u2019t ruin our dinner then who did?\u201d Ben asked warily.\u00a0 \u201cDid a robber come in again and decide that instead of stealing any money he was going to burn up our meal and then destroy the place, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir,\u201d Little Joe began.\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t any robber.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam moved over to where both their father and brother stood, wanting to hear what wild yarn the kid was going to offer this time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere the heck is the novel that I just bought?\u201d Adam fumed.\u00a0 He knew that he had left it there on the coffee table before he had gone to town.<\/p>\n
\u201cProbably where the throw pillows are!\u201d Hoss pointed to the remnants left there in the fireplace.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, who did all of this?\u00a0 Was it you who burnt up our dinner along with the pillows from the settee and your brother Adam\u2019s book?\u201d Ben asked once more, trying very hard not to lose control just yet.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir, it wasn\u2019t me — well \u2013 you see \u2013 it was vandals.\u00a0 That\u2019s the truth \u2013 a bunch of vandals came in here and messed up the place and broke things and threw stuff into the fireplace\u2014and stuffed wood into the stove \u2013 which is why the potpie burned up before I could do a thing about it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben, Adam and Hoss cast disbelieving glances back and forth.<\/p>\n
\u201cKid, just admit that you destroyed the place!\u00a0 Did you go over to Angie\u2019s again?\u00a0 You know she\u2019s married now\u2014did you get her husband angry and make him come after you like you did last time?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe sent a sneer over at his brother and answered, \u201cNo, I didn\u2019t cause none of this!\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you that it was a bunch of vandals!\u201d Joe returned indignantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow many?\u201d Ben asked with a piercing stare directed at his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere were three of them, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo \u2013 you saw them, is that right, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, three men just rode up in our yard and broke into our house and ruined our dinner after they destroyed the place?\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019d have me to believe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa- they didn\u2019t ride into the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen how did they get in here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm \u2013 I think they walked up to the house and then they climbed in my bedroom window, Pa,\u201d Joe replied and winced his face readying for the forthcoming shout.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust hit him already, Pa,\u201d Adam sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot yet<\/strong>,\u201d Ben announced staring over at his eldest.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019re saying that three men climbed in your window and tore up the place, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 well that is — three vandals did that, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded as he sneered over at Adam again, unamused by what he had said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere were you at the time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt first \u2013 well — I was doing my chores and painting the smokehouse.\u00a0 I did a really fine job, Pa \u2013 you\u2019re really going to be pleased!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, don\u2019t try to whitewash me,\u201d Ben warned.\u00a0 \u201cLast time \u2013 six weeks ago you got off without a trip to the barn even though you sure did deserve to go there with me after what you did to this place.\u00a0 Tonight, however it\u2019s getting more and more likely that the two of us will be taking a little walk out there very soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked down at the floor and sighed wearily.\u00a0 He knew that his story was only going to get more unbelievable and he dreaded it.<\/p>\n
Hoss stared at his little brother and, though he was starving and not at all happy that the potpie was ruined, he felt sorry for him.\u00a0 He offered, \u201cLittle Joe\u2014did you recognize any of them fellers?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Hoss \u2013 I can honestly say that I never saw any of the three before in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDescribe them,\u201d Adam jumped in his eyebrows narrowing much like his father\u2019s at the time.<\/p>\n
Little Joe winced his face and grew quiet.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to address his brother\u2019s question, not ever.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben said and squeezed the boy\u2019s arm again to garner his compliance.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, they had dark hair — all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow tall were they?\u201d Adam interrogated his little brother.<\/p>\n
Joe rolled his eyes and then angerly sneered over at his brother once more.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, answer the question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey were kind of short, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow short, Little Joe?\u201d Adam continued with a smirk.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust short<\/strong>!\u201d Joe yelled over at Adam.<\/p>\n\u201cShorter than you, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded, not offering more than he had to at the time.<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss exchanged knowing grins. They both knew that their little brother was stalling as he usually did when he had been caught in a lie.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf they were shorter than you then why couldn\u2019t you take them, Joe?\u00a0 Were they armed?\u201d Adam wasn\u2019t going to let go of his cross-examination.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne of them was,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you weren\u2019t?\u201d Adam continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Joe shouted and almost broke free from his father\u2019s tight grasp to go after his oldest brother to stop him from questioning him any further.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you wearing your gun, Little Brother?\u201d Hoss jumped in.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 I told you I didn\u2019t have my gun!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you couldn\u2019t get to your gun, is that it, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir — I couldn\u2019t because the one who was armed \u2013 well he was using my gun,\u201d Little Joe answered in a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see,\u201d Ben nodded and drew in another deep breath knowing that he\u2019d be making the walk to the barn with his youngest very soon.\u00a0 \u201cThree short men crawled inside our house, and they destroyed a great deal of it though they came unarmed.\u00a0 However, they left with your gun?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I got my gun back from the one who took it,\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you got your gun back from him then why didn\u2019t you hold the three of them until we got home?\u201d Adam asked, smiling.\u00a0 He knew where his little brother would end up later that night and it wasn\u2019t somewhere he\u2019d want to be going.\u00a0 It would seem like Little Joe would soon be getting a very necessary talking to out in the barn and Adam didn\u2019t feel the least bit sorry for the kid because he figured that the boy had told his share of whoppers the last few months and he had it coming to him.\u00a0 He was also very mad at the kid for burning up his new novel and wanted to see him punished for doing it.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, tell Adam to mind his own business!\u201d Joe complained loudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnswer the question, Joseph,\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t get to any of the vandals because the one holding my gun used up all my bullets shooting up the place, so I had to reload my gun while they ran into the kitchen.\u00a0 By the time I got there they had gone.\u00a0 Now that\u2019s the truth, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow tall were they, Joe?\u201d Adam smiled over at his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cShut up, Adam!\u201d he yelled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnswer the question, Young Man,\u201d Ben demanded once again.<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout three feet,\u201d Joe replied, his voice softer than a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019s that again?\u201d Ben asked, turning the boy to face him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThree feet,\u201d he muttered not much louder.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you say three feet tall?\u201d Adam questioned his brother with a smirk on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 why can\u2019t he stay out of this?\u00a0 I don\u2019t need everyone asking me questions!\u201d Joe yelled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying that the men who came in here were all three feet tall, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey weren\u2019t three feet tall then?\u201d Ben asked again.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe vandals were three feet tall, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t that what I just asked, Joseph?\u201d Ben replied exasperatedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou asked if the men who came in here were three feet,\u201d Joe answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen – they weren\u2019t men?\u00a0 What were they \u2013 women?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think so, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean you can\u2019t tell a man from a woman?\u201d Ben questioned, raising his eyebrows.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot these kinds of vandals, Pa \u2013 they didn\u2019t have clothes on.\u201d<\/p>\n
With that statement the three men all looked back and forth at each other and then over to Little Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying they were all naked, Joseph?\u201d Ben returned incredulously.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell — yeah I guess you could say that,\u201d Joe nodded with a slight grin over the thought.<\/p>\n
Hoss groaned and said, \u201cI\u2019m lost.\u00a0 What kind of men or women break into a house butt naked, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEvil ones, Hoss,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, then you\u2019re saying that either three-foot-tall men or women came into our house and tore up the place, right?\u201d Ben continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cVandals, Pa \u2013 vandals,\u201d Little Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe \u2013 if they were naked then how come you couldn\u2019t tell if they were men or women?\u201d Adam asked, grinning as he put his brother on the spot.\u00a0 \u201cPa, maybe you should finish asking Joe these questions out in the barn \u2013 it looks like that\u2019s where he\u2019s going to end up tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, stop antagonizing your brother, and Joseph answer his question right this minute!\u201d Pa yelled at both of his sons while Hoss stood back trying to stay away from his father\u2019s wrath.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay I couldn\u2019t tell because they had hair all over their darn bodies that\u2019s why!\u00a0 Pa, make Adam shut up, will you?\u201d Joe fussed and attempted to throw a punch, but his right hand was in a splint and his left arm was being held by his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait just a minute, Joseph.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that all these men or women\u2014they all had hair all over their bodies so you couldn\u2019t tell whether they were male or female, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVandals, Pa \u2013 vandals and yeah that\u2019s right.\u00a0 The vandals had hair all over them so I couldn\u2019t tell.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam held his right hand up to his chin and thought for a few minutes before adding, \u201cLittle Joe, you keep correcting Pa every time he says men or women.\u00a0 All you keep replying is that they were vandals.\u00a0 Is there some reason why you don\u2019t want to say what they were?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said what they were!\u00a0 They were vandals!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWere they human?\u201d Adam returned smiling.<\/p>\n
To that question Little Joe had to drop his head and figure out what he should say.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Why are you having trouble answering your brother\u2019s question?\u201d He asked warily.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish you\u2019d ask the questions, Pa \u2013 Adam is just trying to get me into trouble!\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s too late for that, Young Man, you\u2019re already in trouble,\u201d Ben returned sternly.\u00a0 \u201cNow answer the question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t remember what he said, Pa,\u201d Joe returned quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWere these vandals of yours human?\u201d Adam jumped in, putting Joe on the spot again.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe bit at his bottom lip before looking back up at his father.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh Ha!\u00a0 I knew it!\u201d Adam said gleefully.\u00a0 \u201cSo, some three feet tall hairy vandals came inside here and smashed up the place and grabbed your gun and I guess shot up the place, right, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMake him stop, Pa,\u201d Joe complained.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben paused and forced his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cAre you saying that something not human did all of this?\u201d<\/p>\n
With a slight nod Joe replied, \u201cYes, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t believe this,\u201d Hoss sighed and stared over at Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, what came into our house?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMonkeys, Pa\u2014it was three monkeys,\u201d Joe returned and readied for what was coming next.<\/p>\n
Hoss laughed and reached over and patted his brother\u2019s back.\u00a0 \u201cOh, come on, Little Brother, just go ahead and tell us how you tore up the place and then we\u2019ll go in there and find something to eat for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Are you trying to tell me that three monkeys did all this damage and took your gun and shot up the place?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded as he stared into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019ve spoon fed me a lot of malarky over the years, but this story takes the cake!\u201d He exclaimed angrily.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa \u2013 one of the monkeys took the cake \u2013 and then it threw it at me.\u00a0 Part of it is still in my hair!\u201d Joe returned as he pointed up at his head to prove his case.<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s left hand dropped down to his belt buckle as his anger grew.\u00a0 He presumed that he\u2019d be taking it off very soon due to his son\u2019s very flagrant lies.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, I have no idea why you\u2019ve torn up this house \u2013 and why you\u2019ve come up with this cockamamie story of yours.\u00a0 You tricked me \u2013 yes, you lulled me into a false sense of security and then you went ahead and topped the last two times I left you here alone!\u00a0 Young Man, you got off easy last time \u2013 but I just can\u2019t let you off the hook now.\u00a0 Would you care to recant any of your story before I take you into the barn for a very necessary talking to?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 He realized that his bizarre explanation was hard to swallow but if he had lied it would have gotten him into trouble eventually.\u00a0 *** Whoever said that honesty was the best policy never had monkeys break into their house! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself as he looked over at his two brothers.\u00a0 At least Hoss was wearing a sympathetic expression on his face, however Adam looked as though he was very pleased over the prospect of seeing him being carried off to the barn.<\/p>\n\u201cDo whatever you want to, Pa,\u201d Joe returned resolutely.\u00a0 *** Oh well, a trip out to the barn and a necessary talking to is rough but spending the day dodging bullets sent from a monkey is a lot rougher, I guess.\u00a0 Besides, I did kind of get out of a tanning last time by getting bit by Angie\u2019s dog, so I suppose I have this one coming. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cIt\u2019s not that I want <\/em><\/strong>to do this, Joseph.\u00a0 But you are forcing me to,\u201d Ben corrected.\u00a0 \u201cI mean do you honestly expect me to believe that a monkey shot up this house with your gun?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cNo, Sir, I don\u2019t,\u201d Joe shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t believe it himself and he had seen it with his own two eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just tell Pa the truth, Little Brother, so you don\u2019t have to go to the barn with him?\u201d Hoss tried to encourage his brother, never wanting to see him get punished.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Hoss, I\u2019ll go out to the barn,\u201d Joe sighed resolutely and turned to look at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be out there waiting for you, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
**********<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and watched the boy head for the front door.\u00a0 Once Little Joe left the room he looked over at Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m surprised he\u2019s taking this so well.\u00a0 He looks like he doesn\u2019t have any fight left in him which does make me wonder what he\u2019s been up to today.\u00a0 That boy usually fights me tooth and nail when he knows he\u2019s going to get a tanning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, the kid\u2019s gotten into trouble a lot of times and you\u2019ve not come down on him, maybe he realizes that his lies have finally caught up with him?\u201d Adam offered his own explanation.<\/p>\n
\u201cShoot if it was me, I\u2019d come up with a better story just to prevent Pa from giving me a necessary talking to!\u201d Hoss exclaimed thinking of the times that he\u2019d ended up in the barn with his father.<\/p>\n
Ben laughed and nodded over to his middle boy.\u00a0 \u201cThe big difference between you and your little brother is that you could never make up the outlandish tales that Joseph does, Hoss!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss chuckled and returned, \u201cYeah, Little Joe sure has a very good imagination.\u00a0 But did he think he\u2019d get away with telling you this kind of malarky, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben just groaned and shook his head, \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on with that boy.\u00a0 But he refuses to tell me why he tore up this house so there\u2019s nothing else to do but punish him.\u00a0 I guess I\u2019d best get out there.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something I enjoy— but he\u2019s my son \u2013 and I\u2019ve got to stop him from destroying this place and lying about it.\u00a0 Maybe he has some kind of issue about being left alone?\u00a0 I probably need to talk to Doc about it.\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019ll be back as soon as the deed is done \u2013 and then we\u2019ll make something for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wonder what he did to that cake for real, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked, his stomach growling just thinking about what he missed out on.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was in his hair \u2013 or at least some icing was.\u00a0 As to what Joseph did with it and why\u2013 I have no idea.\u00a0 Excuse me, Boys,\u201d Pa answered and turned for the door.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
Little Joe lit the lantern just inside the barn door and groaned.\u00a0 His right wrist hurt, as did the cut on the bottom of his foot.\u00a0 However, he knew that in a few minutes’ time those injuries would pale in comparison to how his backside would be feeling once his father was done with his \u201cnecessary talking to\u201d.\u00a0 Joe slowly made it over to his horse\u2019s stall.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish that I\u2019d never saved this darn barn from burning down a few months ago.\u00a0 Maybe if there wasn\u2019t a barn there wouldn\u2019t be any “necessary talking to\u2019s” around here!\u00a0 Hey Cochise, you\u2019d better look the other way.\u00a0 This ain\u2019t going to be pretty,\u201d He called to his pinto.\u00a0 The horse whinnied loudly and then turned away from her master.\u00a0 \u201cI might just as well get ready for Pa and his belt,\u201d Joe said and untucked his shirttails.\u00a0 He leaned against the stall and just waited for his father\u2019s arrival.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Ben drew in a deep breath as he pulled the front door open in preparation to go out to the barn.\u00a0 Both Hoss and Adam walked out behind their father to offer him moral support since they knew that it was never easy for him to offer up a necessary talking to.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019d better just get this over with now,\u201d Ben sighed and began to cross the front yard when a rider came into view.\u00a0 He looked up to see Sherrif Roy Coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Ben \u2013 hi there Adam \u2013 Hoss!\u201d Roy sang out as he dismounted at the front hitching post next to where the Cartwright brothers had left their mounts.\u00a0 He tied his reins up and walked over to the three men.<\/p>\n
\u201cRoy?\u00a0 What brings you out so late?\u201d Ben asked, offering his hand to the lawman.<\/p>\n
Roy shook the outstretched hand and replied, \u201cGot me some trouble, Ben.\u00a0 I was hoping that you\u2019d loan me a couple of your boys to help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it?\u201d Ben returned with a questioning look on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeems that this traveling carnival was heading over to Carson City, but they only made it as far as the southeastern boundary of the Ponderosa when a wagon wheel came loose and it dumped over a couple of cages and some animals got out.\u00a0 Now I got to try and help find them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCarnival?\u00a0 What kinds of animals?\u201d Ben asked though he was beginning to rethink the way he had dismissed his son\u2019s earlier explanation about what had done the damage to the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeems that three chimpanzees got out along with one very mean tiger, Ben.\u00a0 The monkeys I\u2019m not all that concerned with but that tiger\u2014well I sure could use Adam and Hoss if you can spare them?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss shared a glance with his brother and smiled, \u201cGuess Little Joe was telling the pure truth there, Big Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam shrugged his shoulders and replied, \u201cIt\u2019s hard to believe it \u2013 but I guess our little brother wasn\u2019t lying for a change.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou two boys grab a couple rifles and head out with Roy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go and eat some crow out in the barn.\u00a0 Now you be mighty careful, you hear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe will, Pa.\u00a0 Roy \u2013 it\u2019ll only be a minute \u2013 let\u2019s go grab our gear, Hoss,\u201d Adam announced and they both walked back inside the house leaving the sheriff standing alone in the yard.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Ben was feeling terrible as he walked to the barn.\u00a0 He was filled with regret for not believing anything that his youngest had told him that night.\u00a0 Pa hadn\u2019t even asked him why he was wearing a splint or inquired why he was limping.\u00a0 He made a mental note to fuss over the boy thoroughly once they got inside the house.\u00a0 Walking through the doorway he spotted Little Joe leaning against Cochise\u2019s stall with his shirttails hanging down and his hands gripping the railing in preparation for the tanning to commence.\u00a0 It was at that very moment that Pa spied the glow of two big eyes just a couple yards from where his son stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph–,\u201d Ben choked out, fear gripping him the moment that he realized that there was a full-sized tiger within striking distance of Little Joe.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, don\u2019t move!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 yeah \u2013 I know, Pa, I\u2019m not going to move don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Go ahead I\u2019m ready,\u201d Joe responded flatly, still facing away from his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Joseph \u2013 I\u2019m serious,\u201d He began again but was cut short by his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you\u2019re serious, Pa, go on let me have it.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t gonna protest you doing it this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you\u2019re in danger!\u201d Ben began once more.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I know I am.\u00a0 But, after what those darned monkeys did to me, I doubt your belt can do any worse.\u00a0 I\u2019m ready, Pa \u2013 can we just get it over with?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben slowly inched over to the boy and gently settled both of his hands on his son\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n
Joe was surprised by his father\u2019s move and turned around to figure out what he was doing.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t move, Boy,\u201d Ben whispered when he noticed that his son\u2019s eyes had finally homed in on the tiger.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you seeing this too, or is it just me again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Joseph, I see it too, it\u2019s real,\u201d He returned quietly trying hard to remain very still so as not to spook the tiger.<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s voice fell to a whisper as he continued, \u201cThen that\u2019s a really big mountain lion?\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen an orange one with stripes before, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, that\u2019s a tiger and it was part of a traveling carnival \u2013 a wagon lost one of its wheels and a couple of cages fell out.\u00a0 Roy just came over to tell us that three monkeys and one tiger escaped.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGosh, Pa, I was hoping that I had been lying about all of this,\u201d he replied full of irony in his tone of voice.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you don\u2019t have to worry \u2013 because if that tiger decides to eat anyone you know darn well it will be me who will end up being its supper!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s going to be alright, Joseph.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to calmly inch our way to the barn door.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d He agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust in case\u2014well \u2013 in case anything was to happen to me \u2013 well I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for not believing your story.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe felt his father\u2019s hands still on his shoulders readying to make their way to the door.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa \u2013 I didn\u2019t believe me either and it happened to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did you hurt your wrist by the way?\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, the monkeys,\u201d Joe responded quietly as the two of them began their very slow exit out of the barn.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd \u2013 I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t say anything about it when I came in, Joseph \u2013 but I did notice that you were limping.\u00a0 How did that happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThose evil monkeys threw Hop Sing\u2019s new canisters down on the floor and I stepped on a piece of one and it ended up cutting my foot, Pa,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing\u2019s canisters?\u201d Ben groaned at the thought of yet another set being destroyed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Pa – -but it was the monkeys not me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to pay for these damages, do I?\u201d Joe asked meekly.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Son \u2013 but when I get my hands on that carnival owner, he\u2019s going to get a big bill from me!\u00a0 Hey, were you walking in your bare feet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir — I had my socks on.\u00a0 You know I painted the smokehouse \u2013 and I was just getting some paint off me when the monkeys began to attack.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019d you get that black eye?\u201d Ben continued to whisper as he watched the placement of each retreating step that both he and his son took.<\/p>\n
\u201cMonkeys, Pa \u2013 they threw a glass at my head, and it hit my eye,\u201d Joe sighed.\u00a0 \u201cThat was before that one monkey grabbed my Colt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust the thought of a monkey firing at you scares me to death, Joseph!\u00a0 You could\u2019ve been killed!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I know that\u2019s what I was trying to tell you in the house, Pa,\u201d Joe remarked as the two of them almost made it to the door, very glad that the tiger had yet to move from its position.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll fuss over you and then tend to your wounds when we get inside, okay?\u00a0 You know — kind of make up for all the yelling that I did?\u201d Ben grinned when he noticed that they were about to cross into the front yard.\u00a0 \u201cGet ready, Boy, the moment we\u2019re outside this barn we\u2019re going to bar the door.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m ready, Pa \u2013 but I don\u2019t like leaving Cochise in there.\u00a0 Do those things eat horses?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI doubt it,\u201d Ben tried to reassure his son as they finally made it out of the barn.\u00a0 He reached over and slammed the wood plank down across the door securing it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank the Good Lord!\u201d Ben shouted and pulled his youngest into his arms holding onto him.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m so sorry for all that I said \u2013 and what I almost did!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled as he felt his father\u2019s arms around him holding him tight.\u00a0 It was a whole lot different from the way he had thought the night was going to end.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa, if I was you, I would\u2019ve done the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just so thankful that we got away from that tiger,\u201d Ben announced as he combed his fingers through his son\u2019s hair trying to relieve his guilt by showing the boy some compassion.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just so thankful that there was a tiger in there, Pa \u2013 it saved me from getting a tanning!\u201d Joe quipped.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m also thankful that the monkeys weren\u2019t in the barn.\u00a0 Well \u2013 unless they were before I made it inside.\u00a0 Hey maybe that tiger did me two favors?\u00a0 It saved me from that \u201cnecessary talking to\u201d and maybe it ate those darn monkeys!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAmen to that, Son,\u201d Ben chuckled as he watched Hoss and Adam coming out of the house.\u00a0 He called over to his sons and Roy.\u00a0 \u201cNo need to go anywhere \u2013 that tiger is locked inside our barn!\u201d<\/p>\n
Roy exchanged a confused glance with Hoss and Adam and hurried over to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cThe tiger was in the barn this whole time, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I don\u2019t know how long it\u2019s been in there but it\u2019s there now.\u00a0 Can you go and fetch that owner so he can get it out of there safely, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSurest thing you know,\u201d The sheriff nodded and turned for his horse.\u00a0 He untied his reins and launched up into his saddle.\u00a0 \u201cGood thing we\u2019ve only got those monkeys to look for.\u00a0 At least they\u2019re harmless,\u201d Roy called down to Ben and Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cHarmless?\u00a0 Roy they\u2019re more dangerous than that tiger!\u00a0 If you spot them shoot them on sight!\u201d Joe exclaimed angrily.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want me to kill monkeys, Little Joe?\u201d Roy asked very perplexed by what the young man had said.<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked up at his father and groaned.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s only fair \u2013 those evil vandals almost killed me \u2013 not to mention what they did to our house!\u00a0 And I almost got a tanning due to them too!\u201d Joe threw in for good measure.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joseph, calm down,\u201d Ben whispered and patted the boy\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll fetch the carnival owner \u2013 like as not he\u2019s found those monkeys by now.\u00a0 Be back soon!\u201d Roy insisted and hurriedly rode out of the yard.<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam approached their little brother and father.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe, you\u2019ve told so many stories in your life \u2013 well I naturally assumed that you were lying,\u201d Adam offered a half-hearted apology.<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and patted Joe\u2019s shoulder and announced, \u201cI told you to have more faith in your little brother, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, you were about to give him a necessary talking to, Pa,\u201d Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t just me who thought that the kid was telling a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clearing his throat Ben fought to think of something in response to what his eldest had said but couldn\u2019t come up with anything.<\/p>\n
Joe noticed his father\u2019s hesitation and jumped in, \u201cOh, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 I know I don\u2019t always tell the complete truth, Pa.\u00a0 No harm done \u2013 well not by you \u2013 but those monkeys sure put me through a lot today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben draped his arm across the boy\u2019s shoulder and smiled down at him.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get you inside, Joseph, and I\u2019ll patch you up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss nodded over to his little brother and said, \u201cShort Shanks, the next time you spin a yarn I\u2019ll have to give you the benefit of the doubt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Hoss,\u201d Joe grinned over at his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou two boys stay out here and make sure that tiger stays put until Roy gets back.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to tend to your little brother now,\u201d Ben called over to his older boys.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Joseph, let\u2019s see to those wounds of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa?\u201d Joe asked as he looked into his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo \u2013 I\u2019m not a trouble magnet anymore, right?\u00a0 I mean it wasn\u2019t me who did the damage to the house today — that was all done by those monkeys!\u00a0 That means that nothing that happened here was my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
Offering a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders, Ben chose his response carefully.\u00a0 He still carried some guilt over not believing his son\u2019s story about the monkeys.\u00a0 He patted the boy\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cNo, Son, you didn\u2019t cause the damage \u2013 I\u2019ll give you that.\u00a0 But as for being a trouble magnet \u2013 I guess time will tell if you still draw trouble to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe frowned and let out a tired sigh. \u201cOkay, Pa, trouble does sort of find me \u2013 but it\u2019s not my fault, now is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben laughed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Joseph, this<\/strong> time it wasn\u2019t your fault.\u00a0 Now, about tomorrow.\u00a0 Unfortunately, your brothers and I are going to have to go back and testify at that trial again.\u00a0 How would you feel about going to stay someplace safe for the day \u2013 like maybe Doc Martin\u2019s office?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, growing a bit concerned about his son\u2019s track record for staying home alone.\u00a0 He reasoned that there was no use tempting fate again.<\/p>\nLittle Joe\u2019s laughter filled the night air.\u00a0 He read the concern all over the faces of his father and brothers and replied, \u201cPa, that wouldn\u2019t bother me in the least, it would be a whole lot safer there at Doc\u2019s than staying here!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben ruffled a hand through his son\u2019s curly hair and nodded, \u201cGood \u2013 maybe by being at Doc\u2019s you won\u2019t end up being a trouble magnet — at least for one day.\u00a0 Now let\u2019s go see to those injuries of yours!\u201d<\/p>\n
*** At least by staying over at Doc Martin\u2019s there\u2019s not much chance that I\u2019ll run into any monkeys! ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe mused to himself as he walked inside the ranch house next to his father to get some badly needed doctoring along with a healthy dose of Pa\u2019s comforting touch.<\/p>\nThe End<\/p>\n
Written by Wrangler<\/p>\n
3\/30\/2026<\/p>\n
(Dedicated to Rob the story consultant who came up with the idea of the tiger being in the barn.\u00a0 I always give credit where credit is due!)<\/p>\n
*** The writer is aware that chimpanzees are in the ape family, however people in the old west in the 1800\u2019s wouldn\u2019t have known that and would\u2019ve considered them to be monkeys according to Google. ***<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: When Little Joe goes six weeks without getting into trouble Pa allows him to stay home alone thinking that he was no longer a trouble magnet. Pa was very wrong. 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Hoss and Adam are determined to help him break it. How long can Joe last?","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/BrothersComedyStories.jpg?fit=628%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/BrothersComedyStories.jpg?fit=628%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/BrothersComedyStories.jpg?fit=628%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10425,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10425","url_meta":{"origin":63897,"position":3},"title":"Who Did It? (by bahj)","author":"bahj","date":"January 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: There's a broken window on the Ponderosa but who's guilty? 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