Summary:\u00a0 Adam travels home from college
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a010,130 words<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A Long Way Home<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam Cartwright sat up in his seat and craned his neck to get a last backwards view of the tall buildings behind him, as the train rounded the bend. He sighed, then straightened up again on his seat and looked at the high embankment beside him that was now effectively blocking out the view. He wished that he\u2019d had more than one day to spend in New York, but it was either catch the train today or wait another five days for a connection to Albany. He was travelling through a lot of large cities on his way, but he knew that none of them could compare to New York.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He\u2019d been lucky enough to spend some time there two summers ago when he\u2019d been invited to visit a friend from college and his family, and had thoroughly enjoyed it. The opportunities that the city offered to see plays and musicals were many, and he\u2019d taken advantage of the time away from his vacation time to indulge himself completely in such things. There must be nowhere on earth, he decided, that would quite live up to the city of New York.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Still, he didn\u2019t begrudge not having the time to spend there this time. After all, he might have plenty of chances to be there in the future. He turned his thoughts away from such things, knowing that he had plenty of time ahead of him \u2026 too much time now that he thought about it \u2026 in which to think about such things.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He really wasn\u2019t looking forward to this long and exhausting trip at all, but if he was to get back to his family again, there was no other alternative. His grandfather had offered to pay for his sea passage which would have cut the travelling time considerably, but Adam would have none of it. He supposed that he had his father\u2019s Cartwright pride, he thought ruefully. Ben Cartwright was known as a stubborn man and Adam knew that it was one trait that he\u2019d inherited from him. It just hadn\u2019t seemed the right thing to do to accept such a gift from his grandfather and Adam had finally convinced the old man that he was looking forward to seeing the countryside again \u2026 which he couldn\u2019t do if he had travelled by sea.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He thought back to the steamship he\u2019d travelled on from Boston to get to New York and how much he\u2019d absolutely loved the water voyage. He\u2019d made that trip before of course, but it never ceased to amaze him just how much he enjoyed travelling by water. He supposed it should be so, considering his heritage with both his grandfather and his father coming from sailing backgrounds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He\u2019d been far too excited to sleep much on the boat and was now feeling very drowsy indeed. All the hectic weeks of study and the excitement of his graduation would no doubt be catching up with him now and at least now he could afford to sleep. There wasn\u2019t much to see at all until they got to Detroit and so he leant his head against the window and stared out of it, his mind thinking back to that morning when he\u2019d said goodbye to his grandfather in Boston \u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam put out his hand. \u201cWell, I suppose this is it,\u201d he said, trying to control his emotions as he looked at the old man. \u201cIt\u2019s time to get on board the boat.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abel Stoddard gazed at the young man in front of him, his heart nearly breaking at the thought that he might never see him again. \u201cYes,\u201d he said simply, trying to hide his feelings with his gruff voice. \u201cYou take care of yourself Adam \u2026 have a good trip.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI will,\u201d Adam assured him. They stood for a moment looking at each other before Abel reached out, took his grandson\u2019s hand and drew him towards him in an uncharacteristic gesture of affection. Adam responded to the hug and for a moment the two men held onto each other, not wanting to ever let go.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam thought back to how it had been three years ago, when he\u2019d first come to Boston and met his grandfather. Neither of them had really known how to act with each other at the time and it had taken many months before they\u2019d passed the point of just being polite in each other\u2019s company. Once they had, however, they\u2019d become as close as grandfather and grandson could possibly be.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n They had both appreciated the opportunity to get to know each other over an extended period of time and between them they cherished Elizabeth \u2026 daughter to one and mother to the other. She had become a common bond between them \u2026 Abel having the opportunity to relive his memories of his daughter as he talked to her son about her and Adam having the opportunity to learn about the mother he\u2019d never known, from the man who\u2019d known her best.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n As they finally drew apart, Adam smiled at his grandfather. \u201cI want to \u2026\u201d he hesitated, the words not coming easily to him. \u201cI want to \u2026 thank you,\u201d he said sincerely. \u201cFor all that you\u2019ve done for me Grandfather. I never could have got through these past three years if it hadn\u2019t been for you.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abel smiled at his grandson, tears brimming in his eyes. \u201cOf course you would have,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re a wonderful young man Adam and I\u2019m very proud of you. Your mother would be so proud of you as well if she were here to see you now.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d Adam replied, tears springing to his own eyes. \u201cIt means a lot to me to hear you say that, Grandfather.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou take care now,\u201d said Abel, patting his grandson on the arm. \u201cGive my regards to your father and those two young brothers of yours.\u201d He hesitated for a moment. \u201cAnd promise me that you\u2019ll think about things.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n \u201cOf course I will,\u201d Adam assured him, knowing that the man was referring to him coming back again. His grandfather was hoping that once Adam had the opportunity to see his family again, then he\u2019d make the decision to settle back here in the east after all. He swallowed, knowing that it was a decision that he\u2019d think about a lot in the weeks ahead of him and wouldn\u2019t be one that he\u2019d come to lightly. \u201cI\u2019ll always remember you Grandfather,\u201d he added. \u201cNo matter what I decide.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd I you, my boy,\u201d said Abel, wiping his eyes. \u201cI, you.\u201d\u00a0 He swallowed and tried to compose himself. \u201cI still wish that you had let me pay for your sea passage,\u201d he added. \u201cThis trip of yours is unnecessary, you know.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cWe\u2019ve been through all this before,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019ve done enough for me Grandfather by allowing me to live with you all this time. I couldn\u2019t possibly let you pay for my passage on a ship as well. It would be too much on top of everything else. Besides \u2026\u201d he lied, \u201cI\u2019m looking forward to the trip and seeing everything I did on the way out here. The long way suits me fine.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abel gave him a slight push. \u201cWell you\u2019d better get on board that steamship or you\u2019ll miss it,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam gave him once last smile and turned towards the gangplank. \u00a0 He hesitated for a moment before turning back to his grandfather and hugging him tightly. \u201cI love you,\u201d he said, before turning once more to the steamship and walking up the gangplank.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abel watched him go with tears in his eyes. \u201cHurry back, grandson,\u201d he said softly, as he waved.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam knew just how much his grandfather was hoping that he\u2019d come back and if he was begin honest with himself, he knew that a big part of him wanted to as well. He fingered the letter in his pocket that the man had given him before they\u2019d left the house that last morning. In it his grandfather had said things that he couldn\u2019t bring himself to say face to face with his grandson. His love and pride in his grandson had shone through each word and Adam knew that he would cherish the pages forever.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He also knew just how much the old man would miss him \u2026 as he himself would miss his grandfather. He bit his lip as he looked out of the train window, at the passing houses on the outskirts of the great city. He was leaving behind him the love of an old man who needed him, as well as everything he\u2019d known here for the past few years. For a moment he wondered how on earth he could be contemplating doing such a thing, but then he remembered what he was going towards.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He smiled as he thought of the white-haired man with the dark brown eyes whom he loved so dearly. He thrilled at the thought of seeing his father again after all this time, as well as those two younger brothers of his of whom he was so fond. Hoss would be quite grown up now, he reasoned. Considering how big he\u2019d been when Adam had left, he assumed that he\u2019d have some trouble calling him his little brother anymore. Little Joe \u2026. well for a child his age, the time lapse could have brought about so many changes that his little brother might be quite unrecognisable to him. He sighed. Father, brothers, grandfather \u2026 why couldn\u2019t life be simple? He leant his head against the window and was soon lulled to sleep by the soft rocking of the carriage as it carried him westward.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span>++++++++++<\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Illinois<\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam couldn\u2019t help but feel restless with the inactivity that was forced upon him. There was only so much sleep a man could take after all, and if he allowed himself to drop off again then he knew that he wouldn\u2019t sleep tonight. The small bunk in the sleeping car was uncomfortable enough at the best of times and he certainly didn\u2019t relish having to lie there without being able to sleep, on top of everything else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He\u2019d lost count of how many nights he\u2019d spent on one train after another. It was strange to think that he\u2019d actually been looking forward to this part of the trip and decided that he must have a selective memory if he\u2019d thought that train travel could be in the least bit enjoyable. He glanced at the book on his lap and closed it fretfully. He\u2019d been relishing the opportunity to read fiction again after having to read nothing but his college books for so long and had indulged himself during the stopover in Detroit by stocking up on some wonderful novels. The only problem was, now that he had time to read them, he found that he just couldn\u2019t concentrate for long.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n His mind kept drifting back to what he was leaving behind. With each city that they went through he felt more and more agitated at the thought of everything that he was turning his back on and wondered if he had done the right thing by insisting on this trip?\u00a0 He wanted so much to see his family once again, but \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was always that <\/span>but<\/span><\/i> \u2026 the one that occupied his mind every day. What was he to do? What should his decision be? He felt like he was leaving behind so many things that he loved \u2026. Rachel, his grandfather, his friends, his career, his social pursuits that he\u2019d enjoyed so much \u2026 his life as it had been for so long now. The life that he\u2019d become accustomed to and enjoyed so much.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He looked out of the window at the tall buildings as they pulled out of the station. Chicago hadn\u2019t really inspired him very much and he was beginning to feel as if one city was the same as another. Maybe his feelings were telling him that his future lay in front of him and not behind? Well, he had six months in which to decide. Mr Wilkins had at least given him that.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He dreaded to think of what his father would say if he knew the thoughts that were invading his brain. Ben Cartwright had struggled to give his son the best opportunities that he could in life and over the years he\u2019d gone hungry many times so that Adam could eat. He\u2019d gone without adequate clothing so that his boy would be warm. He\u2019d worked until his fingers had bled and his back had ached to build a future for Adam and his brothers. He\u2019d sacrificed his own comfort to raise enough money to send his eldest son to college \u2026 and all for what? To have that same son come home three years later and throw it all back at him? To have that same son tell him that he didn\u2019t belong out west any more?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed. No matter which way he looked at it, he was going to hurt someone. He glanced at the book on his lap again and closed it. Maybe he\u2019d had too much reading at college and he needed a complete break from it? Maybe that was why his mind couldn\u2019t settle? He\u2019d certainly spent so much time with his head immersed in books during the past three years, that maybe it would be good for him to completely forget about them for a while?<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He smiled as he remembered back to his graduation and how all those years of study had been worth it for the diploma that was even now in the bag on the luggage rack above his head. He\u2019d worked so hard for it and even now could hardly believe that his study was finally over. He longed to see the pride in his Pa\u2019s eyes when he showed it to him when he got home.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam knocked on the dark wooden door and shifted nervously from one foot to the other as he slicked down his hair with his free hand, the other one holding tightly onto his hat. He swallowed as he waited for the door to open, wondering why on earth Professor Mullins had sent for him. Surely the last essay that he\u2019d done hadn\u2019t been that bad, that the man wanted to let him know in private? The professor had always intimidated him a little and he couldn\u2019t help but feel apprehensive at the thought of entering his study.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the two years that he\u2019d been at the college so far, Professor Mullins\u2019 office was one that he\u2019d never entered before. In fact, he didn\u2019t know anyone who had. The head of the Literature Department had a reputation for keeping to himself and was certainly not known for his sociable qualities. He took his job extremely seriously and woe betide any of his students who didn\u2019t give his classes their full attention. There was none of the frivolity in his literature classes that the students sometimes indulged themselves in with other professors. Professor Mullins expected their full attention and he got it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Not that Adam minded it much. He had found the man\u2019s classes to be stimulating and extremely interesting. So much so that he\u2019d taken more than the basic ones that he\u2019d needed for his degree. He had specialised in mathematics and the sciences for his Engineering degree of course, but had such a love for literature that he couldn\u2019t resist taking advantage of the classes while he was here. It had made for a very full load, but he hadn\u2019t minded in the slightest.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He tried to smile as the heavy door opened and Professor Mullins stood looking at him over the top of his spectacles. \u201cYes? Oh \u2026 Mr Cartwright. Come in.\u201d Adam walked into the room, nervously looking around at the countless shelves of books around the walls. Apart from the college library, he\u2019d never seen so many books in one place before. \u201cSit down Mr Cartwright,\u201d said the professor, sitting on the other side of the desk, as Adam sat down nervously on the edge of a chair. He put his hat on his lap and then stopped himself as he discovered that he was twisting it between his fingers.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSo,\u201d said the professor. \u201cI suppose you\u2019re wondering why I sent for you?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam cleared his throat. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Professor Mullins picked up a sheaf of papers from the desk and held them in his hands for a moment before speaking. \u201cIt\u2019s about your last paper,\u201d he said. Here it comes, Adam thought to himself and swallowed again nervously. \u201cInteresting,\u201d mused the professor, leaning back in his chair and staring at Adam thoughtfully over the top of his glasses. \u201cTell me young man, what are you doing in my classes if you\u2019re taking an Engineering Degree?\u201d asked the professor. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to do them.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sir,\u201d replied Adam. \u201cBut I enjoy them.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d The professor continued to stare at him and Adam began to feel even more uncomfortable. \u201cWell young man, this last essay you did was very interesting,\u201d the professor continued finally. \u201cI wanted to tell you that in person.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes sir?\u201d Adam wondered what was coming next.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t consider swapping your degree by any chance?\u201d asked the professor. \u201cYou could be an outstanding literature student, you know.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cI could?\u201d he said.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYes. You\u2019ve got a fine mind for the classics, young man,\u201d said the professor. \u201cHave you considered giving literature your full attention?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo. I mean \u2026 I want to be an engineer,\u201d said Adam, feeling somewhat dazed at the man\u2019s comments.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see. Well, from what I understand from your other professors you\u2019re doing exceptionally well in that department as well,\u201d said professor. \u201cI understand, of course. Well \u2026 their gain is my loss. If ever you change your mind, feel free to come and talk to me about it.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he said. \u201cThank you sir.\u201d\u00a0 He began to walk towards the door.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMr Cartwright?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stopped and turned. \u201cYes sir?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI believe that you\u2019ll do well, whatever field you choose. We don\u2019t get many students like you. Make the most of these opportunities for study while you can, boy.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI will sir. Thank you.\u201d Adam left the room, with a broad grin on his face.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam fingered the medal that he always kept in his pocket since he had received it at the graduation ceremony. He remembered the pride that he\u2019d felt the day it had been announced that he\u2019d won it and the look in his grandfather\u2019s eyes when he\u2019d walked up to receive it at his graduation. He knew that his father would be just as proud of him when he showed it to him and his brothers. Three years of hard work had all been worth it, just to think of making his father so proud and he could hardly wait to see the surprise on the man\u2019s face when he produced the medal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stretched his legs and wished for the tenth time that hour that they\u2019d get to St Louis. He was well and truly sick of these trains and he itched to be able to stretch his feet properly again and to feel the fresh air on his face. How could he ever have thought that train travel was exciting?<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ++++++++++<\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Missouri<\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam leant on the railing of the steamboat and watched as St Louis faded away into the distance. He felt the fresh breeze on his face and thought about how nice it was to be able to travel in the fresh air, instead of cooped up in a small train carriage all the time. He knew that he should make the most of it while it lasted, as the trip ahead of him after this via wagon from Independence and finally stagecoach was bound to be a lot worse than the train.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He remembered back to three years ago when he\u2019d travelled in the opposite direction coming towards college. Maybe it had been because it was all so new to him and maybe it had been because he was a bit younger, but he really couldn\u2019t remember it taking so long. Perhaps it seemed so slow this time because he was so anxious to get home and see his family? Three years had seemed like an eternity when he thought back to all the things that had happened to him in that time and considered how much he\u2019d grown in knowledge and common sense since then.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was funny, but he\u2019d spent so much time thinking about how his family would have changed since he\u2019d been away, that he\u2019d forgotten to consider himself through their eyes. He hoped that what his father and brothers saw would please them. He glanced down at his travelling suit, which was a very different style to that in which he\u2019d left home. Since being away he\u2019d learnt so much more than just his studies. The life he\u2019d led had exposed him to such a variety of social experiences and he felt so much more comfortable now in such situations than he had back then.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He remembered how na\u00efve he\u2019d been about so many things when he\u2019d first come east. He had been such a nervous and apprehensive young man, that it had taken him quite a while to make friends and feel at ease in their company, but once he had, then he\u2019d made some close friends that he hoped he would have for life.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed as he considered all the friends that he was leaving behind him, which was another reason to seriously consider returning after seeing his family.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me, young man.\u201d\u00a0 Adam straightened up and turned at the sound of the voice beside him to see a woman in her late forties with a young girl standing beside her, smiling at him demurely. He tipped his hat quickly. \u201cI was wondering if you could direct us to the dining area?\u201d the woman asked.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cStraight down there, ma\u2019am,\u201d Adam replied, pointing to the stern of the boat. \u201cDown the stairs, at the back, for two floors. You\u2019ll see it straight in front of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou seem to know your way around,\u201d replied the woman. \u201cIs this a regular trip for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shuddered at the thought of making this long trip often \u2026 although now that he considered it if he decided to come back east after seeing his family then that was precisely what he\u2019d have to do. \u201cNo ma\u2019am,\u201d he said politely. \u201cI\u2019m a stranger to these parts. I\u2019m travelling to Nevada.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNevada?\u201d the woman raised her eyebrows. \u201cWhat a long way! Goodness!\u201d\u00a0 She smiled at him in a disappointed fashion. \u201cWell \u2026 thank you. Come along Mary.\u201d\u00a0 The young girl gave him a disappointed look and followed her mother towards the back of the boat.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam smiled ruefully as he turned to stare at the churning water again. He\u2019s seen that look so many times before whenever he\u2019d mentioned where he came from. It seemed as if most people considered the west completely foreign and in a way, he couldn\u2019t really blame them. So many times he\u2019d begun to get close to girls back east, only to have their parents put a dampener on the romance. He knew why and couldn\u2019t really blame them, for any parent would baulk at the thought of their daughter getting close to a man who lived so far away and might be the cause of them accompanying him, if he chose to eventually leave and return there. It had been that way with Rachel at first, although he knew without doubt that, if he did return, then things between them would be very serious. She\u2019d virtually hinted at it many times \u2026..<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I don\u2019t understand!\u201d Rachel looked up at him with her beautiful blue eyes that threatened to brim with tears at any moment. \u201cIt just doesn\u2019t make sense Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam drew her close to him and put his arms around her. \u201cNot to you maybe \u2026 but to me it makes an awful lot of sense.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut why?\u201d\u00a0 She gave him a pleading look. \u201cI thought you loved me? I love you!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know \u2026 and I do,\u201d he assured her. \u201cBut this is something I just have to do.\u201d\u00a0 He put his chin on the top of her blonde head and stared at the wall behind her. \u201cI have to go home before I make any decisions about my future. I just \u2026 I just have to see my family and then I can decide what I want to do.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut \u2026\u201d she drew back from him and stared up at him again. \u201cBut what about us?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He smiled at her. \u201cThis doesn\u2019t have to change anything,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rachel shook her head. \u201cYou know that it does,\u201d she said sadly. \u201cYou\u2019ll be gone for months. I\u2019ll miss you.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd \u2026\u201d she hesitated. \u201cYou are coming back, aren\u2019t you? Please tell me that you\u2019re coming back, my darling.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He hesitated. \u201cI hope to,\u201d he said finally.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut you\u2019re not sure?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rachel\u2019s eyes finally let go of the tears they\u2019d been holding and she lowered her head. \u201cThen you don\u2019t care,\u201d she said in a low voice.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam drew her to him again and hugged her tightly. \u201cOf course I care,\u201d he said emphatically. \u201cOnly \u2026 I care about my family too.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe \u2026\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He felt her head shake on his chest. \u201cDon\u2019t even say it,\u201d she said. \u201cYou know that I can\u2019t leave my life here.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYet you\u2019re asking me to leave my life back there?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d she said, her voice muffled against his chest. \u201cI\u2019m not asking you to. It\u2019s your decision to make, my love. Besides \u2026 You\u2019ve always led me to believe that it\u2019s what you wanted \u2026 to live here and be with me.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt is.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThen?\u201d\u00a0 She looked up at him hopefully.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I still have to go, for now.\u201d He stared down at her, willing her to understand. His love for her nearly overwhelmed him. He\u2019d never felt this way about a girl before and the very thought of her took his breath away. At that moment he would have given anything to have her in his arms forever \u2026 to make her his wife. He smiled at her gently. \u201cThis isn\u2019t the end for us,\u201d he said softly.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stared at the churning water thoughtfully, knowing that it could well be the end for them. He\u2019d known as much that night when they\u2019d said goodbye with fear in their hearts for the future. He knew now that he might never see her again and drew his hand across his face in despair. How could he have left her? How could he have turned his back on her after the way he felt for her? He didn\u2019t know how he was going to live without her, for even these few months that he\u2019d be away seemed to stretch before him endlessly as he considered the time without her. Yet \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And there was the rub to all of this. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did he feel like he was being torn apart in this way? Why did \u2026\u00a0 Adam sighed and turned away from the water, walking slowly towards the back of the boat and the dining room.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n ++++++++++<\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll get it!\u201d shouted Adam, jumping off the wagon and running back to where the cow was standing. He grabbed hold of the rope around the animal\u2019s neck and began to pull on it. \u201cStupid dumb thing!\u201d he muttered under his breath as he tied the rope yet again to the back of the wagon. \u201cCan\u2019t trust you for one minute, can I?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He shook his head as he climbed on board the wagon again. He really thought that stupid cow was more trouble than it was worth, the way it kept getting loose like that, but the Mrs Addison seemed to think that it was needed for the children and who was he to argue? She was probably right, although he couldn\u2019t remember his Pa insisting that he bring a milk cow for him and Hoss when they were small and coming across these plains.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Not that the cow kept them waiting at all, for their progress was so slow in these wagons that nothing could possibly have held them back. At times the slowness of their progress frustrated him no end, but he only had to remember how lucky he was to have been able to join up with this group of wagons to feel better again. Pa had written to some friends in Salt Lake City and asked them to let him know of any travellers who were heading out west at the time that he\u2019d be coming through and Adam had sure been lucky that he\u2019d only had to wait two weeks to join with this group. Pa sure hadn\u2019t been keen on him coming by himself across these plains and he was right. Now that Adam was here, he knew that he\u2019d never have been able to make it with all his luggage by himself \u2026 even if he had rented a wagon. There was a great deal to be said about safety in numbers out here and he was mighty glad to have these people to travel with.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It meant that he had to work along the way of course, for everyone had to pitch in and help, but he had actually relished getting back into some work clothes and being active for the first time in weeks. It made him feel as if he were finally getting close to home again, even though he knew that he still had such a long way to go. The trip had been slow before, but now it was excruciatingly so. Still, he tried not to think about it and counted each slow step as another step in the direction of his family.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nNew York<\/b><\/h1>\n
Kansas<\/b><\/h1>\n