{"id":64124,"date":"2026-05-16T09:52:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-16T13:52:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=64124"},"modified":"2026-05-16T09:52:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-16T13:52:52","slug":"older-brothers-by-tavia42","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=64124","title":{"rendered":"Older Brothers (by Tavia42)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: Hoss Cartwright and Clay Stafford have at least one thing in common \u2013 they\u2019re both older brothers to Little Joe.\u00a0 A Missing Scenes and What Happens Next for \u201cThe First Born,\u201d mostly exploring events from Hoss\u2019 and Clay\u2019s points of view.<\/em><\/p>\n

This story connects to my previous one, “A Visitor from San Francisco<\/a>,” although my OC appears here only in references.\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessary to have read the previous story to follow this one.\u00a0 (If you did read the previous story, this one makes a slight detour, but the larger story will continue more directly in the next installment.) Dialogue in the second scene of Section 2 is taken from \u201cThe First Born.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Rating: G | Word Count: 17,642<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1.<\/em><\/p>\n

Clay Stafford was losing at poker.\u00a0 He was not a man who liked losing.\u00a0 Not at poker, not at anything.\u00a0 It was especially galling to lose at cards to a couple of dusty miners whose current winning run plainly had much more to do with luck than any real skill at the game.<\/p>\n

He dealt the next hand around the table, checked his cards, and found that Lady Luck still had no smiles for him tonight.<\/p>\n

Clay looked across the crowded saloon, glance landing on the Cartwrights standing by the bar.\u00a0 Ben had his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and they were both laughing at something Hoss had said, the big man\u2019s face wreathed in grins.<\/p>\n

Maybe it was even more galling to lose at cards tonight because he\u2019d had the feeling for days now that he was losing at a much bigger game.<\/p>\n

Back in New Orleans, it had seemed like such a clear, obvious plan.\u00a0 He had learned that his long-deceased mother had had a second husband, a rancher named Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 And not just a <\/em>rancher, but the man who owned the biggest spread in Nevada.<\/p>\n

Like he\u2019d said to the barber when he first hit Virginia City \u2013 he always went where the real money was.\u00a0 When a man had that much land and that much money, there was bound to be some wealth that Clay could get his hands on, one way or another.\u00a0 He\u2019d signed on as a ranch hand, just to get a sense of the place and the people, and to decide his best approach before he told them who he was.<\/p>\n

Oh yes, it had been a fine plan, Clay reflected bitterly as he folded his latest poker hand.\u00a0 There had only been one flaw in that plan, in fact.<\/p>\n

He liked<\/em> the Cartwrights.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t expected that.\u00a0 And he hadn\u2019t expected what it would feel like to meet Joe Cartwright, the half-brother he\u2019d never known.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t expected to see some of himself in this other man, or in the photo of their shared mother that Joe carried in his jacket.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t expected Joe to be carrying a picture of their mother.<\/p>\n

Clay looked across the saloon again as the rest of the table played out the remainder of the hand.\u00a0 Lady Luck hadn\u2019t been smiling on him when the particulars of his life had been worked out.\u00a0 How different it all would have been, if his grandparents hadn\u2019t hidden him away from his mother as a baby.\u00a0 He had wondered, when he first learned that she\u2019d lived years longer than he\u2019d always believed, if her second husband would still have wanted her if she had come with a child too.\u00a0 Or if that second husband would have kept the child after his mother died.<\/p>\n

It hadn\u2019t taken much time at all, once he met the man, to feel sure that Ben Cartwright would have done both.\u00a0 He was that kind of man.\u00a0 The Cartwrights were the kind of family who worked together and laughed together and so obviously cared about each other that it became evident in a hundred ways, in teasing remarks and claps on the shoulder and the protectiveness they all seemed to feel towards each other and especially towards Little Joe.<\/p>\n

But that wasn\u2019t the family he\u2019d grown up with.\u00a0 Instead, the family that life had actually given him\u2014well, hiding him from his mother and telling him that she was dead might have been his grandparents\u2019 worst sin, but hardly their only one.<\/p>\n

Over at the bar, Hoss responded to something Joe had said by giving his curly head a swat, and Clay looked down to shuffle the cards again.<\/p>\n

No, Lady Luck hadn\u2019t served him well so far, not in life or in this game.<\/p>\n

But then, he\u2019d never really believed that a man ought to depend on luck.\u00a0 You had to make your own odds, in life and in cards.<\/p>\n

The prudent voice inside him said that he ought to walk away.\u00a0 Definitely from the card table and probably from the Cartwrights too, before this all went wrong somehow.\u00a0 But there was another voice, a reckless, eager one that said all it would take was a little reshuffling of the deck, a little reshuffling of his life, and why shouldn\u2019t he take what the world was trying to deny him?<\/p>\n

He was only playing cards with a couple of dusty miners.\u00a0 How would they know if he gave himself slightly better odds?<\/p>\n

He was about to deal the next round of cards when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Joe Cartwright standing there, a sympathetic grin on his face.\u00a0 \u201cLuck not with you tonight?\u201d he remarked as though he could read Clay\u2019s mind \u2013 or, more accurately, the distribution of chips on the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never know when luck will change,\u201d Clay said easily and then impulsively added, \u201cDeal you in the next hand?\u201d<\/p>\n

If Joe joined the game, he\u2019d play it straight.\u00a0 The prudent voice was loud enough to insist on that.\u00a0 Joe was smart enough to notice if something was off, and besides \u2013 he wasn\u2019t going to risk someone else noticing, and this all going wrong, with his brother sitting right there at the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Cartwright,\u201d one of the miners said, \u201cbet you\u2019ve got some money you could spread around to a few poor miners.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about that,\u201d Joe said with a laugh, \u201cyou\u2019ve been pulling in those good wages in the mines.\u201d\u00a0 But he was reaching for an empty chair, clearly about to sit down, and Clay felt something inside him relax.\u00a0 So it would be no foolish risks tonight.\u00a0 He might lose some money, but he\u2019d let the sensible voice win out.<\/p>\n

Then Hoss\u2019 voice called across the crowd, \u201cHey, Little Joe!\u00a0 Come help me tell this story about the time Pa got shanghaied!\u201d<\/p>\n

And Joe looked across the saloon at his older brother \u2013 and Clay thought, far more than any physical resemblance because there wasn\u2019t much of one, you could tell these two were brothers by the way they looked at each other \u2013 and called back, \u201cYeah, all right, Hoss, I\u2019m coming.\u201d\u00a0 His hand touched Clay\u2019s shoulder again briefly, he said, \u201cI\u2019ll have to make it another time,\u201d and then he was walking away to rejoin his family by the bar.<\/p>\n

Clay looked down at his cards, eyes narrowing.\u00a0 Maybe he would<\/em> give his luck a helping hand after all.<\/p>\n

And it all went fine, for enough hands to qualify as a real winning streak, long enough that Joe joined a game at another table, long enough that Clay got just a little<\/em> bit careless.\u00a0 And when one of the miners suspected, and objected, and tried to draw his gun \u2013 well, Clay had never been one to depend on luck in that situation either.\u00a0 It was skill, and trained reflexes, and a holster designed for a faster draw, that kept a man alive when someone wanted to sight down on him.<\/p>\n

And as for the cheating \u2013 well, there was nothing anyone could prove, was there?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2.<\/em><\/p>\n

From his seat at the breakfast table, Hoss could tell just from the sound of Little Joe\u2019s boots hitting the steps on the staircase that little brother had not calmed down much\u00a0\u00a0overnight.\u00a0 Hoss had hustled Clay and the rest of the hands back to the Ponderosa after the shooting in the saloon, after Sheriff Coffee had confirmed that he wasn\u2019t arresting anyone for what everyone agreed was a fair fight, so he hadn\u2019t actually seen<\/em> Joe argue with the sheriff about Clay leaving town.\u00a0 But he\u2019d heard him resume the argument with their pa once they got back home.\u00a0 Joe had finally slammed off to bed, Pa had gone out to the bunk house to talk to Clay, and Hoss had hoped some sleep would cool Joe off.<\/p>\n

Instead, here he was the next morning, stomping through the living room, looking like he\u2019d haul off and hit someone if anyone gave him an excuse.<\/p>\n

Likely the safest thing would be to let him alone, but Hoss was never too worried by Joe hitting him anyway.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Little Joe,\u201d he called, \u201ccome and help me eat these donuts.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019ll be plumb offended if we don\u2019t finish the plateful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want any donuts,\u201d Joe snapped, but stalked over and dropped into his usual seat at the table, to glare moodily at nothing in particular.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou still got a bur under your saddle about this Clay business?\u201d Hoss asked, pushing the plate of donuts in Little Joe\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not right<\/em>.\u00a0 Sheriff Coffee is just assuming Clay\u2019s going to be trouble.\u00a0 And you can\u2019t run a man out of town for shooting in self-defense.\u00a0 None of us could still live here by that rule!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, reckon that\u2019s true,\u201d Hoss admitted, picking up another donut.\u00a0 \u201cBut you have to admit, little brother, the circumstances weren\u2019t good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCircumstantial evidence doesn\u2019t prove anything,\u201d Joe said, and reached for a donut without appearing to notice he was doing it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you just up and asked<\/em> Clay if he was cheating?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I have not,\u201d Joe said flatly, breaking a piece off the donut.\u00a0 \u201cPa already told him to clear out this morning.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to insult the man on his way out the door with a question like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s probably safest for Clay too, with the miners worked up over the shooting\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, I know, Pa said that too.\u201d\u00a0 Joe threw the donut pieces down on the table, put his head in his hands.\u00a0 \u201cI just\u2014I\u2019m just so tired<\/em> of people leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss couldn\u2019t say he hadn\u2019t suspected this.\u00a0 Little Joe had picked himself up from a lot of broken hearts, but when Liza left a couple months ago, he\u2019d taken it especially hard.\u00a0 Or maybe it was the accumulation of all the girls Joe had loved and lost one way or another over the last few years.\u00a0 Joe had finally seemed to buck up some when Clay hired on, but now this was just making everything worse.\u00a0 To find a new friend and then have him forced to leave \u2013 well, it wasn\u2019t the same situation, but it probably set off some echoes.<\/p>\n

Hoss wasn\u2019t sure just what had got Joe so attached to Clay over the last week anyway.\u00a0 The man was likable enough, if a little stand-offish, but Little Joe sure seemed taken with him.\u00a0 Maybe it was enough that he was from New Orleans, and Joe\u2019d always had a weak spot about his mother\u2019s city.\u00a0 Although at least he\u2019d given up that bit where he faked a New Orleans accent.\u00a0 That had been a weird period.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot everyone\u2019s leaving, little brother,\u201d Hoss offered.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t planning on going anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean you<\/em>,\u201d Joe said without lifting his head, in the irritated tone of the youngest in the family, forced to put up with no one understanding him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know<\/em>,\u201d Hoss said, shook his head, and shoved the last of his donut into his mouth.\u00a0 By the time he finished chewing, Joe had at least got his head out of his hands, even if he was still looking down and absently crumbling the remainder of his own donut.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Sunday, we ain\u2019t got any work \u2013 after church, let\u2019s you and me go out for a long ride.\u00a0 We\u2019ll pick a direction, go as far as we feel like, get away from everything for a few hours.\u00a0 Maybe do some fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe mustered up a smile from somewhere, though it didn\u2019t look as though he really meant it.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, that\u2019s a good idea.\u00a0 Let\u2019s do that later, big brother.\u201d\u00a0 He stood up, brushing powdered sugar off of his hands.\u00a0 \u201cRight now I want to catch Clay before he rides out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, little brother,\u201d Hoss said, and watched him head for the front door.<\/p>\n

At least Joe seemed to have moved on from angry to broody.\u00a0 Not necessarily better, but less likely that he was going to hit someone who\u2019d hit him back.<\/p>\n

It\u2019d be all right soon enough.\u00a0 They\u2019d go out for that ride, and maybe it\u2019d help.\u00a0 When you came right down to it, Clay\u2019d only been around for a week.\u00a0 Joe\u2019d probably be prickly and out of sorts for a few days, but then he\u2019d move on and things would be like always.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clay had every intention of leaving.\u00a0 He\u2019d had his chance, he\u2019d made his play, and he\u2019d lost.\u00a0 The Cartwrights were kicking him out at the first sign of trouble, and whatever he\u2019d hoped to gain here was done.\u00a0 In a way, it was a relief.\u00a0 There\u2019s a kind of comfort in having your essential beliefs about people and the world confirmed, even if they aren\u2019t very happy beliefs.<\/p>\n

He hadn\u2019t seen Joe since the shooting in the saloon \u2013 he\u2019d gone off to the sheriff\u2019s office with his father, probably to discuss the legal ramifications of their hired hand shooting someone.\u00a0 In self-defense, of course.<\/p>\n

Old Ben Cartwright had been downright apologetic when he came into the bunkhouse later that night and asked him to leave in the morning.\u00a0 Apologetic, but the message still amounted to the same thing.\u00a0 You\u2019re not wanted here anymore.\u00a0 We\u2019re not going to fight for you, because you\u2019re not one of us.<\/p>\n

Well, he already knew that anyway.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t sure whether to be glad or not when Joe showed up while he was still saddling his horse.\u00a0 Maybe it was better to say good-bye, but it would have been easier not to.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t all that surprised that Joe was looking frustrated and angry.\u00a0 The surprising part was that those feelings weren\u2019t directed at him<\/em> but at the situation.\u00a0 That Joe didn\u2019t agree with his father, and had told him so.<\/p>\n

Clay stared at the young man leaning on the hitching rail.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean \u2013 you stuck up for me?\u00a0 Argued against your father?\u201d\u00a0 As close as Ben Cartwright and his sons seemed to be, Clay wouldn\u2019t have expected a division between them.\u00a0 Certainly not over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Joe said as though it wasn\u2019t surprising at all.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s right is right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Standing up for a principle \u2013 sure, he could imagine the Cartwrights doing that.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t<\/em> about him then, but\u2026\u00a0 \u201cIs that all?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked away, blew out a breath.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s not all.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know, we get along pretty good.\u00a0 Kinda thought we could be friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slowly, Clay leaned on the hitching rail next to him, turned that over in his mind.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t thought \u2013 Joe had been friendly, sure, but he hadn\u2019t thought it meant enough to\u2014to really count.\u00a0 That it weighed anything at all next to Joe\u2019s loyalties to his family.\u00a0 His real family.<\/p>\n

Finally, Clay said, \u201cYou remember that picture of your mother you showed me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I see it again?\u201d<\/p>\n

Now it was Joe who seemed surprised, and why not \u2013 it probably sounded like a very strange request.\u00a0 \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust let me see it,\u201d Clay said, and Joe reached into his pocket and handed over the photo.\u00a0 Clay studied the face again, of the woman he\u2019d never had the chance to know.\u00a0 She looked a little bit like Joe.\u00a0 Maybe she even looked a little bit like him too.\u00a0 \u201cYou see, this isn\u2019t just the picture of a beautiful woman.\u201d\u00a0 He looked into the eyes of the photo, and he didn\u2019t know which voice it was that spoke next, the sensible one or the reckless one, to say something that might, or might not, change everything.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s my mother too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t as though the words were hard to understand.\u00a0 They were ordinary words, not the high-faluting language Adam used sometimes.\u00a0 And yet Joe stared at Clay, trying to make sense of the sentence and take in its meaning.\u00a0 \u201cBut if she\u2019s\u2014but that\u2019s\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s my mother too,\u201d Clay repeated.\u00a0 \u201cShe had a husband before your father and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

But that was just details, history, not the important thing compared to this man standing in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cBut that means\u2014that makes us brothers.\u00a0 That means we\u2019re family,\u201d Joe said, clasping Clay\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

Clay half-smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you think I came to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe felt a giddy excitement rising up in him, at the return of a prodigal brother he\u2019d never known was missing.\u00a0 \u201cWe have to tell Pa \u2013 and Hoss and Adam \u2013 why didn\u2019t you say something sooner?\u00a0 This is\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow wait a minute, Joe,\u201d Clay interrupted, far too calm for the moment.\u00a0 \u201cThis doesn\u2019t change the situation.\u00a0 Remember I was leaving\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis changes everything \u2013 you can\u2019t leave if you\u2019re family.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019d have to stick by Clay now.\u00a0 They should have before, but now they\u2019d have<\/em> to, for his brother\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not blood to any of them<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the excitement of the moment, Joe hadn\u2019t exactly worked out the math on that \u2013 as much as he knew that he and his brothers had different mothers, it made so little difference between them that he hadn\u2019t immediately considered what it meant here.\u00a0 But why did it have to mean anything?\u00a0 \u201cThat doesn\u2019t matter \u2013 family is still family.\u00a0 Now come on,\u201d he said, pulling Clay by the arm.\u00a0 \u201cWe have to go tell them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3.<\/em><\/p>\n

All Hoss was thinking about when Joe came bursting back in the door was whether he ought to have saved a donut for him.\u00a0 He was not expecting Joe to have Clay at his heels.\u00a0 He was really<\/em> not expecting the announcement that Joe had a new half-brother.<\/p>\n

His first thought was that it could be a lie.\u00a0 He felt guilty about that pretty quick, but wasn\u2019t it awfully convenient, to claim kinship just when a man was getting kicked out of a place?<\/p>\n

He looked at the way Joe\u2019s face was shining and didn\u2019t know whether to hope it was true or not.\u00a0 Little Joe didn\u2019t need another heartbreak right now.\u00a0 But it was hard to say whether to take a claim like that seriously.<\/p>\n

Pa<\/em> took it seriously, seriously enough to want to talk to Clay and Joe alone.<\/p>\n

And that didn\u2019t sit right with Hoss at all, as he paced out on the front porch, Adam sitting there looking irritatingly calm.\u00a0 There\u2019d never been a division between them like this.\u00a0 They were all their pa\u2019s sons, and as for their mothers \u2013 well, in a funny way, it was almost like they shared their mothers too.\u00a0 Sure, each of them had a different photo, a different name they thought of as theirs, but hadn\u2019t Little Joe\u2019s mother Marie been a mother to him and Adam too?\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t his own mother Inger loved Adam like he was hers?\u00a0 And hadn\u2019t they all heard the same stories, the same memories from their father, about Adam\u2019s mother Elizabeth?<\/p>\n

This new brother, Joe\u2019s<\/em> brother \u2013 it didn\u2019t sit right, that Little Joe could get a brand-new brother and that somehow wasn\u2019t supposed to be his and Adam\u2019s business.\u00a0 If it was true.<\/p>\n

Hoss felt a little better when Little Joe came out of the house too, so Pa could talk to just Clay.\u00a0 At least it was the three of them together, then.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t look quite so shining anymore though.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d it go?\u201d Hoss asked, trying to damp down his own frustrations to look after Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Joe said, leaning up against the porch post Adam was sitting in front of.\u00a0 He looked back towards the door.\u00a0 \u201cI thought Pa would have been\u2014more excited, somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKind of a shock, probably,\u201d Adam said, inspecting his fingernails as though this was all just fine and normal.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe knew she was married before, that she had a baby who died\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you don\u2019t think it\u2019s a shock to have that baby show up?\u201d Adam said, then glanced at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cIf he really is who he says he is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stared at Adam as though this was a completely new idea.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean if<\/em>?\u00a0 Of course he is.\u00a0 Why would he lie about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss exchanged another glance at that, the exasperated glance of older brothers whose younger brother was being an idiot.\u00a0 Little Joe saw that one, and flushed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, all right, I know<\/em> there\u2019s advantages to becoming a Cartwright,\u201d he snapped.\u00a0 \u201cBut that\u2019s not what\u2019s happening.\u00a0 I just\u2014I believe him.\u201d\u00a0 He shrugged, expression smoothing out again as he looked towards the barn.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s just something\u2014I can feel it, that it\u2019s true.\u00a0 Or maybe it\u2019s the way he looked at the picture of our mother.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head, half-grinned.\u00a0 \u201cOur<\/em> mother.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of funny to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t mean anything by it.\u00a0 Hoss told himself that, and he was going to let it slide by because it was Little Joe and he had a lot on his mind right now.<\/p>\n

Adam spoke up, though, the first note of emotion in his voice finally.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, she was our<\/em> mother too, for years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know, I didn\u2019t mean it like that,\u201d Joe said easily.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just different, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

And he didn\u2019t mean anything by that<\/em> either.\u00a0 Hoss had to work a little more to convince himself on that one.<\/p>\n

This didn\u2019t exactly feel like the kind of situation where he could shake Joe a mite and make him see reason on some point.\u00a0 But maybe they just needed to talk a little more, maybe away from everything else.\u00a0 He cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cSo about that ride we were gonna take this afternoon\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yeah,\u201d Joe said, blinking at him as though this was almost as unexpected as anything else today.\u00a0 \u201cDoesn\u2019t seem right, does it, after everything happening?\u00a0 To ride away for a few hours, I mean.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have to do that some other time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Right.\u00a0 That made sense.\u00a0 He could see that.\u00a0 Hoss swallowed, and said, \u201cSure, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was looking at him.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 And Hoss started pacing again so he wouldn\u2019t have to look at either of them.<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t exactly see how it was that a new family member arriving could make him feel like he was losing people.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4.<\/em><\/p>\n

As the next few days went by, Joe wished they weren\u2019t in the middle of the round-up.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t every day a new brother landed in a person\u2019s life, and there was so much he wanted to talk about with Clay, so many things he wanted to do.\u00a0 But meanwhile cattle still needed to be moved, and while the business of the Ponderosa could stop for a few things, it didn\u2019t stop for this.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss might\u2019ve had some doubts about Clay\u2019s story at first, but Pa believed him, and that was what counted.\u00a0 And Joe knew\u2014he just knew<\/em> that the story was true.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t explain it to himself any more clearly than he\u2019d explained it to his older brothers.\u00a0 He could just feel it.<\/p>\n

So he made sure he and Clay rode together most days, and even if they were busy with the round-up, that was something at least.\u00a0 And a week went by that way, until the day Clay didn\u2019t show up to ride out together.<\/p>\n

Joe was approaching the chow wagon before it occurred to him that there was no good reason to think Clay was there.\u00a0 His feet had gone automatically that direction, because when it came to looking for missing brothers, it was the best place to find Hoss<\/em>.\u00a0 Joe shrugged to himself and figured he might as well ask Hop Sing if he knew anything anyway.<\/p>\n

And surprisingly, he did.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Clay, he go to town with supply wagon this morning,\u201d Hop Sing said without looking up from whatever he was stirring.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did what<\/em>?\u201d Joe said, fighting the urge to grab Hop Sing by the shoulders and demand more answers.\u00a0 Hop Sing would just whack him with his ladle and it would be both unproductive and humiliating.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded, appearing unperturbed by the sudden alarm in Joe\u2019s voice.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright, he saying this morning we need more supplies.\u00a0 Mr. Clay come back little later, take wagon for Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

So Pa probably didn\u2019t know Clay had gone \u2013 which made sense, since he never would have approved the idea.\u00a0 The miners had to still be worked up about the shooting in the saloon \u2013 what could Clay be thinking going into town right now?<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hop Sing,\u201d Joe said absently, turning to go.\u00a0 He had to get Cochise.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to tell Mr. Cartwright about Mr. Clay?\u201d Hop Sing asked, frowning at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2014no, don\u2019t worry Pa about it.\u201d\u00a0 And Pa would probably forbid him<\/em> from going.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know what kind of lead time Clay had on him \u2013 Hop Sing hadn\u2019t exactly been precise \u2013 but Cochise could travel faster than the supply wagon.\u00a0 Joe kept hoping he could catch up to him before he got to town, but every turn of the road revealed a distinct lack of a missing older brother.<\/p>\n

But still, in the end, he got there in time.\u00a0 He caught up to Clay before the miners did, and that was what really counted.\u00a0 What mattered was standing together when a crowd of angry men wanted to confront Clay, and if a little part of Joe\u2019s mind pointed out that it was maybe not the smartest thing to tell a mob that the person they were angry with was his brother \u2013 well, the words felt too thrilling to say out loud for him to pay attention to that note of caution.<\/p>\n

And the miners dispersed and Clay didn\u2019t appear to think they\u2019d been doing anything foolish or dangerous at all.\u00a0 He even thought they ought to go over to the saloon and have a drink.\u00a0 Joe knew better than that and told him so, but all the same \u2013 there might be some advantages to an older brother who wasn\u2019t going to lecture him all the time about being careful and staying out of trouble.\u00a0 He might like not<\/em> being the most reckless, impetuous one in the family for a change.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clay hadn\u2019t thought he was doing anything all that dangerous when he went to town \u2013 although, he was<\/em> tired of sitting safe and quiet on the ranch, moving masses of cows around, and itching for something that was at least a little more exciting than that.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t expected Joe or anyone else to come after him.\u00a0 And he wouldn\u2019t have expected Joe to throw right into the confrontation with the miners, or to announce they were brothers with so much pride.<\/p>\n

It felt good and unsettling and confusing, and maybe that was why he wanted to go to the saloon for a drink before they left town. Or maybe that was just the reckless voice again, the same one that always wanted to seek excitement and court disaster.\u00a0 The one that always said sure, play another hand of cards, even when they\u2019re looking at you suspiciously.<\/p>\n

Joe shot the idea down, proving that at least he<\/em> had a sensible voice to listen to, but Clay couldn\u2019t make himself give up the idea too easily.\u00a0 When the last box was loaded onto the wagon, he took one more shot.\u00a0 \u201cIt really is an awfully dusty trail out of town, Joe,\u201d he remarked.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t we stop for just one beer?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe laughed, shaking his head, and the affection in the laugh made something inside Clay twist.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t let a thing go, can you?\u00a0 You just have to go looking for trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay flashed a smile.\u00a0 \u201cAt least when you find trouble, you know where it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, all right,\u201d Joe said, raising his hands in surrender.\u00a0 \u201cOne beer.\u00a0 And if anything happens, the two of us will deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you\u2019re talking, brother,\u201d Clay said, clapping Joe on the shoulder.<\/p>\n

Clay should have been pleased as they headed toward the saloon.\u00a0 But somehow, he wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 The sensible voice was telling him that Joe had been right at the start, that they should leave town, and it wasn\u2019t good that the reckless voice had won this argument.\u00a0 But he was too used to that<\/em> happening for that to be the main source of his unease.\u00a0 No, this was something else.\u00a0 This was about how easy it had been to talk the other man around.\u00a0 Sure Joe had objected at first, but in the end, he\u2019d been willing to follow where Clay led.<\/p>\n

Joe had followed him to town, and now he was following him to the saloon, against his own better judgment.<\/p>\n

Clay had never had a younger brother before.\u00a0 He supposed Adam and Hoss must be used to this, to this strange responsibility for another person who looked at you like you had special answers, special knowledge about the world.\u00a0 Like you weren\u2019t barely getting along day by day and trying, but mostly failing, to stay out of trouble.<\/p>\n

The saloon was quiet, so it looked as though they wouldn\u2019t get into any more confrontations today.\u00a0 They ordered their beers, stood at the bar, talked about nothing much and listened to a saloon girl and the piano player practicing songs before the evening rush.<\/p>\n

It was during the third song that Joe got suddenly quiet.\u00a0 Clay looked away from the pretty saloon girl and found Joe still watching her, a stricken look on his face.\u00a0 It couldn\u2019t be about the girl \u2013 he hadn\u2019t reacted like this when they first came in.\u00a0 Clay started listening more closely to the song.\u00a0 Something about a lost love.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t relate \u2013 he had always been the one moving on, never being left.\u00a0 But there was something in Joe\u2019s eyes that said he\u2019d<\/em> been there.<\/p>\n

The singer got to a line about remembering laughter, and Joe turned away, not fast enough to hide a new glimmer in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Well, what do you know.\u00a0 Apparently this younger brother of his was pining after someone.\u00a0 How had he missed seeing that sooner?<\/p>\n

Clay nudged Joe with one elbow.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s her name?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe cleared his throat, said gruffly, \u201cWhat?\u00a0 Who?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe girl you\u2019re thinking about when you hear this song.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s no one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMen don\u2019t cry in their beer over no one<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI cry easy, ask anyone,\u201d Joe said hotly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a curse.\u00a0 Can\u2019t help it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay waited a beat, then asked again, \u201cWhat\u2019s her name?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sighed, shoulders slumping.\u00a0 \u201cLiza.\u00a0 Her name is Liza.\u201d\u00a0 He downed the rest of his beer in one swallow, set the empty mug down with a thud.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get out of here before those miners realize we\u2019re in here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay didn\u2019t protest, just followed Joe out the door.\u00a0 He was busy turning this new information over in his head.\u00a0 Liza.\u00a0 He was going to have to find out more about this Liza.<\/p>\n

His opportunity came only a few hours later.\u00a0 They camped on their way back to the cattle run, stopping to eat\u2014but ended up drinking their way through most of a jug of pulque and a lot of stories.\u00a0 They talked about Mexico and women and toasted everything including each other with a lot of viva<\/em> this and viva<\/em> that, and finally, when the moment seemed right, Clay posed his question.\u00a0 \u201cSo.\u00a0 Tell me about Liza.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe froze, took another swig out of the jug \u2013 the stuff did grow on you \u2013 to cover his sudden tumult of feeling.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to talk about Liza.\u00a0 He always wanted to talk about Liza.\u00a0 He never wanted to think about her and all too often it was impossible to think about anything else.\u00a0 Clay coming had helped these past couple weeks, had given him so much else to think about, but now Clay was bringing her up\u2026\u00a0 \u201cNo, no, no,\u201d he protested, more vehemently than he probably would have done at the beginning of the jug, \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about her.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk more about that Rosita you mentioned, there\u2019s a better idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I want to hear about Liza,\u201d Clay insisted.\u00a0 \u201cTell me about her.\u00a0 Pretty girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe said faintly, memories flooding him.\u00a0 There\u2019d been a lot of pretty girls, but there had been something about this one.\u00a0 \u201cPretty as\u2026pretty as a bluebird flying, or snow on a pine tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cYou are<\/em> Ponderosa through and through, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The words mostly washed past him, because he already had the feeling he hadn\u2019t quite captured the picture right.\u00a0 \u201cShe was\u2014she stayed with us on the ranch a couple weeks, right?\u00a0 And Hoss, he gave her this little black kitten.\u00a0 And that woman, playing with that kitten \u2013 it was just about the prettiest thing you ever saw.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019d liked her before that, but that was when he\u2019d started falling in a whole different way.\u00a0 She was pretty, sure, but it was the way she laughed<\/em> and moved and \u2013 everything, it was everything.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you\u2019ve got it bad, brother,\u201d Clay said, taking the jug for another drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was smart too,\u201d Joe said, fingers curling into his palms.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, she argued with Adam?\u00a0 With Adam<\/em>, about books or something, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 People don\u2019t argue with Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Pretty, and smart, and she thought he was smart too.\u00a0 Not a lot of people believed he was as smart as Adam.\u00a0 But she\u2019d said that, something like that, said he shouldn\u2019t believe he wasn\u2019t a thing just because Adam was it \u2013 she\u2019d said it better than that, but he couldn\u2019t quite line up the words right now.<\/p>\n

She thought he was tall too, and when she\u2019d looked at him, he\u2019d felt like he was as smart as Adam and as tall as Hoss, or at least like she<\/em> thought he was, and that was enough, more than enough\u2014<\/p>\n

He reached for the jug again, not because another drink was going to help him straighten out his thoughts, but because maybe enough drinks would get rid of them entirely.\u00a0 There was only one place this was going, only one question Clay was going to ask in the end\u2026<\/p>\n

He asked it.\u00a0 \u201cSo what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe left,\u201d Joe said past the sharp tightening in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cI asked her to marry me, she said no, and she left.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t like it was the first time it had happened to him.\u00a0 There had been a lot of pretty girls, and he\u2019d asked \u2013 probably a few too many of them to marry him.\u00a0 It was a problem he had, he\u2019d recognized that recently after too many heartbreaks, had tried to avoid going that way again.\u00a0 But there was only so far he could fight his nature, and his nature was to fall in love, quickly and often.\u00a0 And so far it had never worked out.\u00a0 Some had left, a few had died, some he\u2019d realized in time weren\u2019t the right one for him after all.<\/p>\n

Might be easier if he could just decide that about this one too.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, brother,\u201d Clay said, a hand clasping his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cHow soon was it?\u00a0 Before you proposed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo weeks.\u201d\u00a0 And a day, but he wasn\u2019t quite drunk enough to not know how ridiculous he\u2019d sound, putting it that precisely.<\/p>\n

Clay whistled.\u00a0 \u201cTwo weeks<\/em>?\u00a0 That\u2019s it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a long time!\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0 It was longer than he\u2019d waited for just about any girl before.\u00a0 \u201cJust\u2014not long enough.\u00a0 She said it was too fast.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t believe I was serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long ago did she leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEleven weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s bad, brother, if you\u2019re still counting it in weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe said faintly, and took another swallow of the burning pulque.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was quiet around the camp fire at the cattle drive.\u00a0 Most of the ranch hands had already bedded down, apart from a few on watch, and even the cattle had settled for the night.\u00a0 Only the Cartwrights were still sitting around the flickering fire.\u00a0 Well, Hoss and Adam were sitting, watching their father pace.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf all the fool notions,\u201d Ben muttered.\u00a0 \u201cRiding into town when the mood is this hot \u2013 he should have known better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoth of them!\u00a0 Clay never should have ridden off, and Little Joe never should have chased after him.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t somebody stop them?\u201d<\/p>\n

He said somebody<\/em>, but it felt to Hoss like he meant one of you<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t stop a person when they don\u2019t tell you they\u2019re going,\u201d Hoss pointed out.<\/p>\n

By the time any of them had worked out what was going on, Clay and Little Joe were both long gone.\u00a0 It had taken talking to Hop Sing at supper to realize what had happened.\u00a0 Their pa hadn\u2019t been happy earlier, but he hadn\u2019t gotten this worried until evening stretched on with neither one returning.<\/p>\n

It had been nearly a week since Clay\u2019s revelation had shook everything up, but cattle still had to be herded and there hadn\u2019t been much time to think about much else.\u00a0 Maybe that made things worse now.\u00a0 Sitting around like this gave everyone too much<\/em> time to think.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey should be back by now,\u201d Ben muttered, glaring in the general direction of Virginia City.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey probably stopped to eat something,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a long trip, hauling a supply wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI just can\u2019t understand \u2013 just because Clay knew we needed supplies, that didn\u2019t mean he<\/em> ought to go into town for them!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm,\u201d Adam said, tossing a wood chip onto the fire.\u00a0 \u201cSo Clay\u2019s well-intended, reckless, has little regard for his own safety, and it probably never occurred to him that anyone would worry about him.\u00a0 Sound like anyone else we know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss snorted and Ben stared at his oldest son for a moment before surrendering to a chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cWell, now that you mention it\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head, finally sitting down across the fire from his sons.\u00a0 \u201cI have wondered, sometimes, how that youngest brother of yours ever survived to adulthood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy,\u201d Hoss rumbled, \u201che had older brothers looking out for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes,\u201d Ben said with a wry smile, \u201cyou and Joe always<\/em> behave very sensibly together.\u201d<\/p>\n

He and Joe did have just a little<\/em> reputation for getting into trouble together \u2013 but it wasn\u2019t anything serious.\u00a0 Usually.\u00a0 And mostly not their fault anyway.\u00a0 \u201cI always brought him home, didn\u2019t I?\u201d Hoss countered.<\/p>\n

The words didn\u2019t have the effect he would have wanted on their father, who grew somber again.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 Yes, you<\/em> always did\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d Adam spoke up, \u201cClay didn\u2019t<\/em> have older brothers to keep him out of trouble, but he\u2019s survived.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be all right, Pa.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s smart, and has a knack for getting out of tight spots.\u00a0 With any luck, Clay has those qualities too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right, Pa,\u201d Hoss said quickly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure they\u2019ll be along any time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right,\u201d Ben said, though he sounded unconvinced.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t we all get some sleep?\u201d Adam suggested.\u00a0 \u201cLot of cattle to move in the morning, and it won\u2019t do any good sitting here all night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose that\u2019s sensible too,\u201d Ben said reluctantly, rising to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, I\u2019m off then.\u00a0 And you boys get to bed too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, echoed by Adam\u2019s, \u201cGood-night, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

They sat by the fire a minute or two more, until their father had disappeared in the shadows deeper into the camp.\u00a0 Then Adam got to his feet, stretched, and started to walk the opposite direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam,\u201d Hoss called after him \u2013 not too loud, not loud enough for Pa to hear, \u201cain\u2019t your bedroll at the other<\/em> end of the camp?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam halted.\u00a0 \u201cThought I might take a little ride.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAlong Virginia City way?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute while I get my saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because, sure, Little Joe was pretty good at looking after himself.\u00a0 But sometimes he needed his older brothers too, and Clay didn\u2019t have the same kind of experience on the job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As it turned out, Hoss and Adam didn\u2019t have to ride more than a few miles before they found their missing family members.\u00a0 They heard them from farther up the road before they could see them, in the form of two voices raised in slightly off-key song.\u00a0 Hoss might not have Adam\u2019s musical skills, but he could recognize his youngest brother\u2019s voice, and the song too.<\/p>\n

\u201cChickens crowing on Sourwood Mountain, hey-ho diddle-um-day!\u00a0 So many pretty girls you can\u2019t count \u2018em, hey-ho diddle-um-day!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose we might have guessed that<\/em> possibility too,\u201d Adam remarked, pulling up on his reins to let Hoss come alongside, as the unsteady singing continued in the distance.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburnit,\u201d Hoss said, glaring down the road.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t they know Pa would be back at the camp worrying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sincerely doubt it occurred to them.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gave Sport a kick to get up to a trot.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let\u2019s catch them before Little Joe starts in on \u2018Careless Love.\u2019\u00a0 You know he can\u2019t carry a tune when he\u2019s drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Around another bend in the road, they came upon the supply wagon, Joe and Clay sitting in the seat while Cochise walked tied behind.\u00a0 They broke off singing when Hoss and Adam rode up.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey<\/em>!\u201d Little Joe called, with a wild wave of one arm.\u00a0 \u201cMore brothers!\u00a0 Viva<\/em>!\u00a0 Hey\u2014hey, Clay,\u201d he said, elbowing the other man, \u201cwe\u2019ve got to\u2014to viva<\/em> Hoss an\u2019 Adam\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I think we\u2019ve viva<\/em>\u2019d enough tonight, brother,\u201d Clay said, and going by voice and steadiness in his seat, he didn\u2019t seem as far gone as Joe.\u00a0 Good thing, since he was the one driving the wagon, but it didn\u2019t make Hoss feel a whole lot of sympathy towards him in the general situation.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggone it, Little Joe, do you know how late it is?\u201d Hoss demanded.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s been worrying about you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Joe asked in apparent befuddlement.\u00a0 \u201cWe were al\u2019right.\u00a0 We were just\u2014talkin\u2019.\u00a0 About, you know\u2014about life and\u2014women and\u2014and Juarez!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss wondered what Joe had been telling Clay about life and women.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t even guess what they might have been saying about Juarez<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cNeither of you should\u2019ve been in town, with the miners worked up\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTha\u2019s what I told Clay!\u201d Joe said, waving his arm again, this time for emphasis.\u00a0 \u201cBut it was al\u2019right, we sent those miners off\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you did encounter the miners?\u201d Adam said sharply.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing serious,\u201d Clay spoke up.\u00a0 \u201cJust a few words exchanged.\u00a0 No shots fired.\u201d<\/p>\n

That report was not all that reassuring and, exchanging glances with Adam, Hoss figured older brother felt the same way.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it in the morning,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cRight now we need to get back to camp.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYessir, older brother,\u201d Joe said, swaying but managing an unsteady salute.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir,\u201d Clay echoed, with a more credible salute.<\/p>\n

Hoss narrowed his eyes, studying the two men and then the two horses.\u00a0 The horses could probably manage the straight road back to the camp without benefit of a driver at all, but even so\u2026\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I ought to take over driving.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Clay\u2019s got it,\u201d Adam overrode.\u00a0 \u201cYou and I will ride ahead and make sure there\u2019s no trouble in the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but, Adam\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Hoss,\u201d Adam said, turning his horse.\u00a0 \u201cYou two, stay on the road.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grumbled but turned his own horse to follow Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure they\u2019re all right driving that wagon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClay got them this far,\u201d Adam said, picking up the pace a little until the wagon was maybe a hundred yards behind them.\u00a0 \u201cBesides, if you sit in the wagon with them right now, you\u2019re going to haul off and hit one of them when they say something dumb.\u00a0 Better to ride a little and cool down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t hit Little Joe,\u201d Hoss protested, and only recognized his own omission once the words were out.\u00a0 He scowled.\u00a0 \u201cAw, I probably wouldn\u2019t hit Clay neither.\u00a0 But what\u2019s he doing getting Joe into a state like that anyway?\u00a0 During round-up, and with Pa worrying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomehow I don\u2019t think Clay poured the drinks down his throat,\u201d Adam said, voice at its driest.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but\u2014but that ain\u2019t the point!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss didn\u2019t know just how to say it, and Adam ought to understand this anyhow\u2014\u00a0 \u201cClay\u2019s his older brother, that means<\/em> something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t I know it,\u201d Adam muttered.\u00a0 \u201cLook, you\u2019re not wrong, but\u2014surely you can\u2019t judge Clay too badly for this.\u00a0 You and Joe have dragged each other into scrapes far worse than this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s different.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss glared at his horse\u2019s ears until he realized Adam was staring at him.\u00a0 He turned his head to scowl at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs the real problem here that it\u2019s not<\/em> different?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss squinted at him.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno what that\u2019s supposed to mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat usually it\u2019s you<\/em> and Joe getting into trouble, and now suddenly it\u2019s Clay and Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss went back to glaring at old Chub\u2019s ears.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n

Only it wasn\u2019t, was it?\u00a0 Adam was just saying something that had been itching at him all week.\u00a0 That usually it was him and Joe who went off together and came back with a wild story.\u00a0 Usually it was him and Joe who went riding or played checkers or joked around during a dull round-up or \u2013 just a lot of things, and now all of a sudden Joe had all of his attention on Clay, who\u2019d only just ridden up a couple weeks ago\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d Hoss said again, because Adam was being too quiet.\u00a0 Sure, they both had always had friends, and sometimes a girl came along and took up a lot of attention \u2013 but that wasn\u2019t the same as a new brother<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cJoe can be very smart sometimes, and other times he still acts like a dumb kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike riding off and getting drunk\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike forgetting we might have feelings about things he does, or not noticing that Clay showing up changes things for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss said in a low voice.\u00a0 \u201cI guess like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA new member of the family \u2013 it\u2019s like we had a very stable, well-balanced structure, and then we wanted to add in an extra room,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cAnd we need to work out how much weight the new walls can handle, whether they\u2019re really load-bearing or not, and it\u2019s important to calculate how it redistributes the load of the roof on the existing walls, but all of that\u2019s going to take some time to work out the details\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

He trailed off, and just from his expression Hoss could guess that his own face looked as baffled as he felt.\u00a0 He could build a decent lean-to, but Adam was getting into specifics he didn\u2019t think he was following, and he wasn\u2019t sure what the point of it all was.<\/p>\n

Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, try it this way.\u00a0 Suppose you got a new horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0 \u201cI like Chub.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but suppose <\/em>you got a new one.\u00a0 Maybe Pa gives you one for your birthday.\u00a0 You\u2019d be excited about it, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno, Adam, I like Chub.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need a new horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

A louder sigh.\u00a0 \u201cSuppose Little Joe<\/em> got a new horse.\u00a0 He\u2019d be excited, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss considered that.\u00a0 Joe was just as fond of Cochise as Hoss was of Chub, maybe even more \u2013 but Joe also<\/em> got pretty excited when they brought new animals onto the ranch.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, all right, he probably would be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u00a0 So he\u2019d want to take it out riding every day, and probably sleep in the barn the first couple nights\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis must be a real fine horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, the best you can picture.\u00a0 But after a while, some time passes.\u00a0 The excitement starts to settle down, and the horse doesn\u2019t look as shiny and new anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, sure,\u201d Hoss allowed.\u00a0 Even the most exciting new animal became just part of the stock eventually.\u00a0 \u201cI can see it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then Joe starts to remember how much he always liked Cochise, and all the rides they used to take.\u00a0 And eventually he gets to a better balance, where he rides both of them and neither one gets left in the barn all the time.\u00a0 You see what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss considered.\u00a0 \u201cI think so.\u00a0 I think you\u2019re calling me a horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a metaphor\u2014<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, I know.\u201d\u00a0 Well, he didn\u2019t know the word for it, but he could see what Adam was driving at.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re saying Joe\u2019s going to calm down about Clay after a while and we\u2019re going to\u2014figure out how to hold up the roof again.\u00a0 Yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam half-smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYes, something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded slowly.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 All right.\u201d\u00a0 He thought about it some more, about how things used to be, how they\u2019d become, and how they might be in the future, and something else occurred to him.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Adam\u2014it ever bother you, when Little Joe and I go off and, you know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet yourself into a whole lot of hot water?\u201d Adam said, rolling his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I can\u2019t say I regret missing those little escapades.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I didn\u2019t mean that exactly<\/em>, I just mean\u2026well, sometimes me and Little Joe seem to sort of, see eye to eye, like, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all have different places in the family, Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019m comfortable with mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 Good.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss nodded, thought a moment more, and said, \u201cIt\u2019s like we each hold up different bits of the roof?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore or less.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 So which one of us holds up the bit that means explaining to Pa what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I think we give that one to new brother Clay,\u201d Adam said with a grin.<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned back.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 That seems about right.\u201d\u00a0 His grin faded when he contemplated the morning though.\u00a0 \u201cGoing to be a long day tomorrow, after a night like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThink of it this way.\u00a0 However we<\/em> might feel in the morning, Joe is going to feel a lot<\/em> worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss brightened.\u00a0 \u201cNow that you point it out, that\u2019s true.\u201d\u00a0 There was some justice in the situation after all, and<\/em> it would mean all sorts of opportunities for teasing the young scamp.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, older brother.\u201d\u00a0 He paused, added, \u201cYou know\u2014for all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny time, younger brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clay hadn\u2019t realized he was messing up until Adam and Hoss came riding up the road.\u00a0 Sure, he\u2019d figured from Joe\u2019s reaction that it had probably been a mistake to go into town.\u00a0 But after that\u2014well, they\u2019d got out of town all right, and Joe<\/em> had suggested stopping to eat, and maybe he\u2019d seen that they were getting a little far down the jug of pulque, but they were having such a good evening.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d been on his own a long time.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t used to the idea that somebody might be waiting up, and worrying.<\/p>\n

And he wasn\u2019t used to this idea of being responsible for anybody else, of his reckless side dragging anyone else along and having that actually matter.<\/p>\n

He was almost positive Joe would say that Clay wasn\u2019t responsible for him or his choices \u2013 and Adam and Hoss hadn\u2019t exactly said<\/em> differently.\u00a0 They\u2019d just looked<\/em> at him, and that was worse.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d pulled himself together quick when Adam and Hoss had come down the road.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t change how much alcohol he\u2019d drunk, but he could fake it pretty well.\u00a0 It was a skill he\u2019d needed in wartime down in Mexico.\u00a0 Joe either didn\u2019t have it, or didn\u2019t think he needed it in this moment.<\/p>\n

Clay kept the wagon pointed straight and followed along behind the distant shapes of Adam and Hoss, talking together too low to make out any words, until the camp came into sight.\u00a0 Along with the silver-haired man waiting to meet them.<\/p>\n

Riding in front, Adam and Hoss caught it first.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright\u2019s deep voice was plainly audible even from where Clay was driving.\u00a0 \u201cWhere have you been?\u00a0 How do you think it feels looking around and realizing all three of my sons are missing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay winced.\u00a0 Three<\/em>.\u00a0 Well, sure.\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 He\u2019d been here for only a couple of weeks, and Ben Cartwright wasn\u2019t his father.\u00a0 He was his mother\u2019s widower and his brother\u2019s father and that made them\u2014well, something, maybe, but not the same thing the others were.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe just rode down the road a way,\u201d Adam said, swinging down from his horse.<\/p>\n

Hoss jerked a thumb over his shoulder, back towards where Clay was guiding the wagon in.\u00a0 \u201cAnd look, the prodigals\u2019re returning.\u00a0 Everything\u2019s all right.\u00a0 They just got to celebrating a little.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, really?\u201d Ben said, hands on his hips, and Clay knew he had about two seconds to get ahead of this.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do apologize, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d Clay said quickly, jumping down from the wagon seat.\u00a0 Joe waved off any attempt to help him down, so Clay just stayed close enough to make sure he didn\u2019t fall over on the way.\u00a0 That would be all he\u2019d need right now, to drop Ben Cartwright\u2019s youngest son in the dirt.\u00a0 \u201cI knew you needed those supplies,\u201d he continued, \u201cbut I suppose it was<\/em> foolish of me to go into town.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t realize the miners worked in shifts and might be on the streets by daytime.\u00a0 It was very good of Joe to come look after me, sir.\u201d\u00a0 Drunk or sober, he\u2019d always been good at turning a fast phrase.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s stance was already softening.\u00a0 \u201cWell\u2014I suppose\u2014but it shouldn\u2019t have taken this long to get back from Virginia City!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe waved an unsteady hand.\u00a0 \u201cWe just had a few\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got to talking,\u201d Clay interrupted smoothly.\u00a0 \u201cLot of catching up to do, you know, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 We lost track of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Ben said, tone sounding remarkably like his oldest son\u2019s, \u201cI can see exactly what you were doing to catch up.\u00a0 Well\u2014I suppose you have a lot of years of getting into trouble together to catch up on too.\u00a0 Get some sleep and be up early in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned to go, and Clay let out a breath.\u00a0 Sold it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Hoss said, frowning, \u201cthat\u2019s all he\u2019s going to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, brother,\u201d Adam said, taking Hoss by the arm and steering him away.\u00a0 \u201cRemember the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2014right.\u201d<\/p>\n

From a few paces away, Ben turned back, and called, \u201cOh, and Clay\u2014it\u2019s Ben, remember, not Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight,\u201d Clay said, holding Joe up with one hand and giving a wave with the other.\u00a0 \u201cBen.\u201d\u00a0 So that<\/em> had been the right calculation too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

6.<\/em><\/p>\n

Clay worked hard at being sensible, responsible and reliable in the days that followed.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have much experience at being an older brother, but he could at least be a model ranch hand.<\/p>\n

There seemed surprisingly little fall-out from his and Joe\u2019s escapade.\u00a0 No miners came out in search of them, and Ben Cartwright didn\u2019t resume his lecture the next morning.\u00a0 Clay heard Adam and Hoss chalk it up to him, Clay, being likable.\u00a0 He sure tried hard enough to be<\/em> likable, but he didn\u2019t really think that was why everything had blown over so quickly.\u00a0 His fast-talking had helped, sure, but more likely Ben was too relieved to have Joe back in one piece to get very angry.<\/p>\n

Clay kept an eye on Adam and Hoss in the aftermath too, since they hadn\u2019t been happy with him either \u2013 but they seemed inclined to let it all slide, teasing Joe instead of criticizing Clay.<\/p>\n

It was ridiculous to feel vaguely envious of that \u2013 but he did wonder what it was like, to have people in your life you were so comfortable with that you could stop being careful and polite all the time.<\/p>\n

For now, he worked on being likable and polite and not at all reckless, and it seemed like maybe it was working out.\u00a0 If he didn\u2019t exactly feel like one of the Cartwrights, at least they weren\u2019t kicking him off the ranch either.\u00a0 He mostly rode out with Joe while Hoss and Adam mostly rode out together, and that seemed to be working out too, except it meant it was a few days before he could find a chance to talk to Hoss alone.<\/p>\n

Finally one evening Hoss rode in late, and was still brushing his big black horse over on the picket line while everyone else was busy getting supper, and that seemed like an opportunity to Clay.<\/p>\n

He walked over that way, Hoss glancing towards him as he approached.\u00a0 Clay decided to try for teasing.\u00a0 \u201cYou must really like this horse, taking care of him before you go get supper.\u201d\u00a0 All the Cartwrights joshed Hoss about how much he enjoyed his meals.<\/p>\n

Hoss shot him a look he didn\u2019t know how to read, and said, \u201cI\u2019d take care of any animal after I rode him all day.\u00a0 Just the right thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

So apparently they weren\u2019t on a teasing basis, like he\u2019d mostly already thought.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I just meant\u2014\u201d\u00a0 He broke off as Hoss tossed him a second brush.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, help me out so I can get to supper sooner,\u201d the big man said with a smile.<\/p>\n

Clay smiled too, and began brushing the horse\u2019s opposite side.\u00a0 After a moment, he said, \u201cYou know, we haven\u2019t had much chance to talk since, well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSince that trip you and Little Joe took into Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay winced.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, I really didn\u2019t intend to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, don\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe has been getting himself into scrapes since the time he started walking.\u00a0 I don\u2019t suppose anybody could keep him out of all of \u2018em.\u00a0 Adam and I try, and so far he hasn\u2019t got himself killed, but that doesn\u2019t mean he hasn\u2019t got into some bad spots along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay watched his brush move over the horse\u2019s shining black hair.\u00a0 Hoss had more than twenty years of history with Joe.\u00a0 Twenty years of stories.\u00a0 It made the last few weeks seem very short.\u00a0 He tried to shake the thought away, because he was here about one of those stories, and getting sidetracked wasn\u2019t going to help.\u00a0 \u201cCan I ask you about something?<\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u00a0 What\u2019s on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you tell me about Liza?\u201d \u00a0Clay hadn\u2019t brought Liza up again to Joe.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think he\u2019d get more out of him than the influence of a sentimental song and too much pulque was going to do.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t totally sure Joe even remembered talking about her, with how much they\u2019d been drinking, and so the subject had been entirely dropped.\u00a0 But Clay could see it, now and then, see an expression cross Joe\u2019s face; he could guess what and who he was thinking of, and he wanted to know more.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 brush paused, held still for a moment, then resumed.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019d you hear that name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe mentioned it the other night when we were\u2026camping.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you already know about her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just wondering what you thought about it all.\u201d\u00a0 He could have tackled Adam on the subject but somehow\u2014he\u2019d seen Joe with both of his brothers, and while there was no denying how close all the Cartwrights were with each other, even a less observant man than Clay could have worked out that, if Joe had a confidant in the family, it would be his middle brother.<\/p>\n

Besides, Adam was a lot less approachable.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed.\u00a0 \u201cGuess it was about two, three months ago.\u00a0 I liked Liza.\u00a0 And it was a shame it didn\u2019t turn out better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe seems to think she was pretty special,\u201d Clay prodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Little Joe thinks that about a lot of girls,\u201d Hoss said with a grin.\u00a0 \u201cIt never seems to work out in the end, one way or another, and usually he flings himself right into a new romance.\u00a0 There\u2019s been stretches where I can\u2019t hardly keep up with the names, there\u2019s been so many so quickly.\u00a0 But this one\u2014Liza really seemed like she might be something.\u00a0 There\u2019s been some others that were pretty serious too, but\u2014I dunno, Joe just seemed\u2014really happy with Liza.\u00a0 Smiling a lot.\u00a0 Laughed a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hadn\u2019t it been a line in the song about laughter that had undone Joe, back in the saloon?\u00a0 Clay stayed quiet, waiting to see if Hoss would say more.<\/p>\n

Hoss heaved a big sigh.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe and Liza both seemed real happy right up until he proposed, and then \u2013 well, Little Joe didn\u2019t exactly give it to me word for word who said what.\u00a0 But sounds like it was too soon; maybe she got scared about making such a big decision. \u00a0And all those gals in Joe\u2019s past kinda got in the way, \u2018cause she didn\u2019t find it easy to believe he was really serious after just a couple weeks. \u00a0So she left.\u00a0 And we all thought Little Joe would move on quick, like he usually does, but he kept on moping around the place.\u00a0 Still hasn\u2019t set his sights on another girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s only been a few months,\u201d Clay pointed out.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s not that long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss cast him an expressive look.\u00a0 \u201cIt is for Little Joe.\u00a0 So he\u2019s been all brooding and moody.\u00a0 He finally bucked up some when you rode in.\u00a0 Having a new face around, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n

That put an interesting perspective on some things.\u00a0 There was a piece of all this that didn\u2019t make sense to Clay, though.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t follow though \u2013 if she wasn\u2019t ready to get married but she did<\/em> like Joe, why doesn\u2019t someone go see what she\u2019s thinking now, a couple months later?\u00a0 Maybe she\u2019s had enough time to rethink.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was already shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cNah, Little Joe ain\u2019t going to go chase a woman who turned him down.\u00a0 She was real nice about it, which maybe only made things worse, but he still ain\u2019t going to do it.\u00a0 And he\u2019d never forgive Adam or me if we tried interfering either.\u201d\u00a0 The big man looked over the back of the horse, met Clay\u2019s gaze squarely.\u00a0 \u201cSo don\u2019t get any fool notions in your head about trying to find Elizabeth Montgomery in San Francisco.\u00a0 You hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was a lot smarter than people thought.\u00a0 Clay had had enough time on the Ponderosa to realize that.\u00a0 \u201cVery clearly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss set down the brush he was using and gave the big horse\u2019s nose a pat.\u00a0 \u201cI think we\u2019re about done here.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go see about that supper.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay set his own brush down slowly.\u00a0 Just one more question\u2026\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 you think Liza was good for Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

A pause, then Hoss said in a low rumble, \u201cLiza maybe could have been the best thing that ever happened to Little Joe.\u00a0 But it didn\u2019t turn out that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Thanks, Hoss,\u201d Clay said, and strolled after him towards the chow wagon, turning thoughts over in his mind.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t exactly sure what he was going to do with all this new information yet.\u00a0 But it was interesting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

7.<\/em><\/p>\n

Days slid past, and in what seemed like a long time and no time at all, Clay had been on the Ponderosa for more than two weeks.\u00a0 Not long enough for everything to feel comfortable, but long enough for new information to feel disruptive of whatever fragile stability they\u2019d found.\u00a0 At least, that was how it felt to Hoss, when Pa had that new information.\u00a0 He\u2019d sent a telegram as soon as Clay\u2019s story came out about his connection to Marie, and the answer that had finally come back was \u2013 mixed.<\/p>\n

Hoss was relieved to find out Clay wasn\u2019t flat-out lying.\u00a0 He really was Marie\u2019s son.\u00a0 It would have hit Little Joe mighty hard to find out otherwise now.\u00a0 But the news that Clay had shot a man in a saloon before \u2013 in a fair fight, after Clay was accused of cheating at cards and the other man drew, just exactly like it had happened here in Virginia City \u2013 well, that wasn\u2019t going to hit well either.<\/p>\n

Ben told Hoss and Adam first, then wanted to talk to Joe alone about it.\u00a0 And Hoss didn\u2019t argue, but he didn\u2019t like it either, all this dividing them up.\u00a0 They were all brothers, and he didn\u2019t like making them different.<\/p>\n

So he waited out on the front porch again, although this time he sat down at the table to stop himself from pacing, until Little Joe came out from talking to Pa.\u00a0 Hoss studied the set of Joe\u2019s shoulders and the frown on his face and judged that little brother was in a broody state, not a shouting and hitting state, so he was relatively safe to approach.\u00a0 Though Hoss would\u2019ve done it anyway, of course.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa talk to you about Clay?\u201d Hoss asked, because he might as well take the direct route here.<\/p>\n

Little Joe, who\u2019d been aimed at the barn, shifted his path towards Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cYeah,\u201d he said in a low voice, and dropped onto the bench across the table.\u00a0 \u201cHe already told you about the telegram?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, me and Adam earlier.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss squinted at Joe, wondered if that information was going to make things worse.\u00a0 \u201cI would\u2019ve done it all three of us, you know, but I guess Pa thought\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d Joe said, waving one hand, then lifted that hand to run it over his hair.\u00a0 \u201cI have to talk to Clay about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Pa would\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I need<\/em> to do it,\u201d Joe said flatly.\u00a0 \u201cPa would just\u2014Clay will take it better, coming from me.\u201d\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 \u201cNot going to be easy to figure out what to say though.\u00a0 I want him to know we accept him, and asking about his past feels like\u2014it\u2019s not going to be easy to make it not<\/em> sound like some kind of accusation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about you and me talk to Clay together?\u201d Hoss suggested.\u00a0 \u201cClay and me\u2019ve been getting on pretty well, these past few days.\u201d\u00a0 Something had relaxed between them a little, and whether that was because Adam had helped him find some perspective or because he liked it that Clay wanted to know more about Joe, and seemed really concerned about him\u2014well, either way it had been going better.<\/p>\n

But Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s better if I talk to Clay by myself.\u00a0 You know, between brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Hoss said slowly.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Sure, little\u2014Joe,\u201d he managed at the last minute, because something didn\u2019t feel right about saying little brother<\/em> just then.\u00a0 Joe was<\/em> his little brother, he always would be, but\u2014his other<\/em> older brother wasn\u2019t Hoss\u2019 brother and he wanted to have a conversation between brothers and\u2014and Adam\u2019s metaphor hadn\u2019t taken into account what happened if Little Joe decided he liked his new horse better than Cochise after all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe meant to talk to Clay about his past, and all the rest.\u00a0 He really did.\u00a0 And he knew that he had to be the one to do it.<\/p>\n

Pa would get it wrong somehow.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss would definitely get it wrong.\u00a0 He knew Hoss meant well, offering, and that Pa had too, but none of them understood.\u00a0 Clay wasn\u2019t their<\/em> brother.<\/p>\n

He rode out to join the round-up again, after talking to Hoss, and for the rest of the day he kept looking for opportunities to talk to Clay.\u00a0 Somehow, he couldn\u2019t seem to find any.<\/p>\n

The entire next day he made<\/em> opportunities, and then kept telling himself that this one or that one wasn\u2019t right, that he should find a better moment.<\/p>\n

By the time they were mounting up to ride out the day after that<\/em>, him and Clay alone out in the front yard with their horses, he\u2019d finally admitted to himself that he wasn\u2019t really going to talk to him.\u00a0 Not about this.<\/p>\n

He watched Clay adjusting his saddlebags, and knew there were some questions that were too dangerous to ask.\u00a0 Questions that made people he cared about run, disappear from his life, leave only an empty space behind.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d asked Liza the wrong question \u2013 or maybe it had been the wrong time, or he\u2019d asked it the wrong way, or \u2013 it didn\u2019t matter, he had asked her to marry him and she had gone.<\/p>\n

And now he had all these questions he was supposed to ask Clay.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s in your past you\u2019re not telling us?<\/em><\/p>\n

Did you cheat at cards before?<\/em><\/p>\n

Did you low-card in the Silver Dollar, risk everything and cost a man his life, by cheating at cards here?\u00a0 After you met us, after you must have known you could have a future here, after you had people who could care about you.\u00a0 After you met me.<\/em><\/p>\n

And worst of all, most dangerous questions of all\u2026<\/p>\n

Do you even <\/em>want to stay here?\u00a0 Is this even a life you want?<\/em><\/p>\n

So he walked around Cochise to stand by Clay, and asked a safe question instead.\u00a0 He asked if they could go to Mexico, after the round-up was done.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t expect Clay to be sensible about it, to point out how dangerous it was down in Mexico right now, with Juarez\u2019s war still going on.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t really important because Clay was willing to go somewhere with him, if maybe not Mexico, and that was the important thing.<\/p>\n

Facing danger together, toasting their pasts and each other, that was when they had felt the most like brothers.\u00a0 So whether it was a trip to Mexico or somewhere else, it would be good for them.\u00a0 That would be what they needed.\u00a0 Not a lot of dangerous questions.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Clay thought he recognized the look in Joe\u2019s eyes when he suggested riding off together.\u00a0 The thrill, the excitement, the desire to go see what else there was to see.\u00a0 He could understand all of that.\u00a0 He felt<\/em> all of that.\u00a0 There was some other uneasiness in Joe too, though, and he didn\u2019t understand that until later in the day, when he was watching the milling cattle out at the round-up and Ben Cartwright walked up to have a little talk.\u00a0 About Clay and Joe and the future.\u00a0 About what Ben was expecting from him.<\/p>\n

Clay had learned very young how to smile and stay polite when someone was telling you that everything about you was wrong.\u00a0 It had been one of his most valuable skills, growing up with his grandparents.<\/p>\n

He leaned on the corral railing after Ben walked away again and wondered how life had got so stacked against him that he still needed that skill, even now.\u00a0 Even here.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t that he didn\u2019t think Ben Cartwright had meant well, talking to him about being part of the vaunted Cartwright clan, and then strolled off apparently satisfied that he\u2019d said all the right things.\u00a0 The man radiated meaning well<\/em> all over the place.\u00a0 But he also didn\u2019t seem to see the cutting edge in his words, the twisting knife beneath the warm smiles.\u00a0 You\u2019re part of our family now \u2013 if<\/em> you live like us, believe like us, follow our rules.<\/p>\n

The sensible voice said that, after all, old Ben Cartwright and his sons seemed to have done pretty well by their rules.<\/p>\n

The reckless voice wanted to ride straight into town, get drunk, and start a shoot-out with whatever miners were around, just to prove that he could.<\/p>\n

Except \u2013 except Joe would follow him into town again, follow him into the saloon, follow him all the way into a hail of bullets.<\/p>\n

That was the one part of that fatherly speech Ben had made that Clay couldn\u2019t just shake off.\u00a0 About influencing Joe the right way.\u00a0 About the power he had, as Joe\u2019s older brother, and about using it the right way.<\/p>\n

Something that sounded a lot like the reckless voice said that this just proved<\/em> Ben\u2019s real motivations, that he only had the conversation at all because he was worrying about his son, about his real<\/em> family.<\/p>\n

Clay\u2019s eyes narrowed as he watched the cattle mill in the corral, the tangible, living wealth of the Cartwrights with their beef and their land and their trees.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like he had come here looking for a family anyway.\u00a0 So why did it hurt to feel that he didn\u2019t belong, wasn\u2019t their type, didn\u2019t fit in this life?<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, don\u2019t you have any work to do?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice called, and Clay looked up to see him riding up on his pinto, grin on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust keeping an eye on your cows,\u201d Clay said.<\/p>\n

Joe swung down from his horse, clapped Clay on the shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cGotta get the last of them rounded up so you and I can get on the road.\u00a0 We\u2019d better decide where we want to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a different mood, maybe Clay would have put it more diplomatically.\u00a0 Right now, he just looked back at the herd and said, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s a good idea after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe squinted at him, face confused.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u00a0 No, it\u2019s a great idea!\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be Mexico, I said that, we can go somewhere else\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou belong here, Joe,\u201d Clay said flatly.\u00a0 \u201cPonderosa through and through, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t take a trip!\u00a0 Look, I don\u2019t get it \u2013 you liked the idea this morning. \u00a0What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay frowned at the cattle and said, \u201cI don\u2019t think your father likes the idea,\u201d and out of the corner of his eye he could see Joe go very still.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa talked to you?\u201d Joe asked, and his voice had gone tense too.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Clay said without looking at him.\u00a0 \u201cAbout the way of life and values of the Cartwrights and about my past and what he expects in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe let out a loud breath.\u00a0 \u201cI told<\/em> him it didn\u2019t matter \u2013 whatever happened in Chico Wells, it\u2019s just not important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChico Wells?\u201d Clay echoed, suddenly understanding the other reason Ben Cartwright had felt driven to give his little lecture today.\u00a0 He had thought it was sort of general purpose \u2013 but they\u2019d found out about what happened in Chico Wells \u2013 about the card game, where he was accused of cheating, where he\u2019d shot a man in self-defense.\u00a0 It had<\/em> been in self-defense.<\/p>\n

And he\u2019d only cheated a little.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but it\u2019s not important,\u201d Joe repeated.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s in the past, and you\u2019re here with us now, and that\u2019s what matters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Clay said quietly.\u00a0 Because he was realizing that Joe didn\u2019t understand either.\u00a0 Joe thought he was a Cartwright now, and even if Joe wanted to ride off together, he thought he was riding off with someone who was like him.\u00a0 He thought it would be like taking a trip with Hoss or Adam.\u00a0 Clay didn\u2019t know exactly what that would look like \u2013 but somehow, he thought it was very different from what happened when he<\/em> went riding through the world.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, which way did my pa go?\u201d Joe asked.\u00a0 \u201cI want to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he was heading back towards the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood \u2013 and you think about that trip,\u201d Joe said, clapping him on the shoulder again before turning back to his horse.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll talk to Pa about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe rode too fast on his way to the house, and while usually a good ride cooled him down, steadied him, this time he only got more heated up.\u00a0 He slammed in through the front door, flung his hat on the sideboard, stalked over to where his father was sitting behind his big desk.<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s eyebrows lifted as he approached, expression just concerned enough to show that he could see Joe was upset \u2013 but it sure didn\u2019t seem to be bothering him much.\u00a0 \u201cSomething wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou talked to Clay,\u201d Joe said tightly.<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, a slow nod.\u00a0 \u201cWe had a conversation a little while ago, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou told me I<\/em> could talk to him!\u201d Joe thundered, palms pressed against his father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 \u201cWe agreed, I was going to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa was aggravatingly, infuriatingly unmoved, leaning back in his chair behind the desk.\u00a0 \u201cYes, but you didn\u2019t<\/em> talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was waiting for the right time!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa cocked an eyebrow at him.\u00a0 \u201cWhen?\u00a0 On the way to Mexico?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Joe said hotly.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what\u2019s wrong with that?\u00a0 Maybe it would be easier to talk away from here<\/em>.\u00a0 You know, there\u2019s a whole big world out there, Pa.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t the only piece of it that matters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, I know.\u00a0 But do you really think Mexico is a smart place to go right now?\u00a0 The situation is very unstable there\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you told Clay I wasn\u2019t allowed<\/em> to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s eyebrows drew together, the first sign of irritation.\u00a0 \u201cI merely told him I thought it was a bad idea, and asked him to try to be responsible in the directions he was leading you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a child<\/em>, I can make my own decisions!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you can,\u201d Pa agreed, \u201cand you can start by deciding who you\u2019re going to let influence you.\u00a0 I like Clay too, but if you\u2019re not more careful\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been prejudiced against him from the beginning!\u00a0 Just because he\u2019s lived a different life \u2013 he didn\u2019t have us<\/em>.\u00a0 Who\u2019s to say what any of us would be like, if we didn\u2019t have each other?\u201d\u00a0 How could Joe know that he wouldn\u2019t be just like Clay, under the right circumstances?<\/p>\n

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, we\u2019ve been over all of this already\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why can\u2019t we just agree to give him a chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re giving <\/em>him a chance, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n

When Joseph<\/em> came out, Joe always knew he was in trouble.\u00a0 At least when it was said in that<\/em> tone.\u00a0 He fell silent, because he couldn\u2019t find the words to explain what he was feeling, what was wrong.\u00a0 Yes, they were giving Clay a chance, had given him the spare bedroom, had all said that he was part of the family and was welcome to stay.\u00a0 So why did none of it feel right?\u00a0 Why did nothing feel\u2014balanced?<\/p>\n

They had all known where they fit, when it was the four Cartwrights.\u00a0 Sure, sometimes Joe kicked and objected to his own particular role, but he knew what it was<\/em>.\u00a0 Part of him knew now that it wasn\u2019t anyone\u2019s fault that it wasn\u2019t easy to suddenly add a new person to a family, that they hadn\u2019t quite been able to work out yet how and where Clay fit in.\u00a0 But he still didn\u2019t like that.<\/p>\n

Pa evidently saw the pause as an opportunity to take a breath and find a calmer tone.\u00a0 \u201cWe keep ending up shouting at each other, these past few weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that often,\u201d Joe muttered, although yes, it did keep coming up.\u00a0 Well, he<\/em> kept shouting, and he wasn\u2019t sure if he appreciated or resented that his father was willing to present it as though they were both losing their tempers.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t see that we\u2019re accomplishing anything this way,\u201d Ben continued.\u00a0 \u201cAnd we have work to do.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss need you back at the round-up, and I need to go into town for the payroll money.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get the work done, and we\u2019ll talk about this later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, impulsively, Joe found himself saying, \u201cLet me go for the payroll money, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Because he just needed to go\u2014somewhere<\/em>, anywhere, even if it was only Virginia City.\u00a0 Nothing fit around here right now, nothing felt right, and maybe if he could take a good long ride on Cochise, maybe this time that would help.<\/p>\n

And it would make him feel more like a man, doing a man\u2019s work, and not like a child who had been scolded and sent back to the custody of his older brothers.<\/p>\n

Pa frowned, his worried frown instead of his angry frown, and in the mood he was in right now, that seemed worse to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe you ought to take Hoss with you, just in case there\u2019s any trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because obviously he couldn\u2019t do anything without his responsible older brother along to look after him.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I ought to take Clay<\/em> with me,\u201d he said deliberately.\u00a0 \u201cWe can handle ourselves pretty well.\u201d<\/p>\n

That at least got the flash of anger back into Pa\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou know that would be extremely foolish.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know, I wasn\u2019t serious,\u201d Joe snapped.\u00a0 He took a breath, tried to manage his tone.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need Hoss to come.\u00a0 I can take care of myself.\u00a0 The miners don\u2019t\u2014\u201d\u00a0 His voice faltered but he caught it, kept going, and his father didn\u2019t seem to notice the tiny slip.\u00a0 \u201c\u2014have any reason to connect me to Clay.\u00a0 They think he\u2019s just one of our ranch hands.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

He could hear his own voice echoing in his ears, when he\u2019d told the whole mob of miners that Clay was his brother.\u00a0 But his father couldn\u2019t hear the echo, and didn\u2019t know he\u2019d said it to begin with.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Pa said after a moment.\u00a0 \u201cJust watch your back out there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t turn your back on people when they\u2019re hostile.<\/em><\/p>\n

This time it was Liza\u2019s voice that echoed, and it didn\u2019t help his temper any to hear her<\/em> right now either.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d he said gruffly, turning to the door to pick up his hat.\u00a0 He supposed it was safe enough turning his back on his father, at least.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe\u2014son.\u201d\u00a0 Footsteps, and he knew Pa had come out from behind his desk.\u00a0 \u201cTry to remember I\u2019m not your enemy here.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s hand closed on his shoulder, trying to draw him back in, and Joe just knew<\/em> that if he let him do it, he was going to unravel completely.\u00a0 It was just\u2014it was all too much lately.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t, Pa,\u201d he said, wrenching his shoulder away.\u00a0 Maybe he shouldn\u2019t have turned his back after all.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not five years old anymore.\u00a0 You can\u2019t fix everything with a hug.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pulled his hat low over his forehead and walked out the front door without looking back, just catching the sound of his father\u2019s sigh before the door swung shut behind him.<\/p>\n

Joe was already up on Cochise, already on his way out of the front yard, when it occurred to him that five<\/em> might not have been a random age he pulled out of the air.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d been five when his mother died, the first really big thing that a hug hadn\u2019t been able to fix.<\/p>\n

The first really important person he\u2019d lost.<\/p>\n

He shook his head, pushed the memories away.\u00a0 It was fine.\u00a0 It would all be fine.\u00a0 Clay was here<\/em>, he was staying here<\/em>.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to lose another family member.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to lose the only other person who shared his mother\u2019s blood.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d ride into Virginia City, he\u2019d pick up the payroll money and ride home again.\u00a0 Nothing was going to go wrong, and everything would be fine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

8.<\/em><\/p>\n

Clay knew it was all over when he saw Joe sprawled on the front porch, after he\u2019d rushed out of the house with the Cartwrights in response to the disturbance outside.\u00a0 Ben got there first, Adam and Hoss just after him, and Clay\u2014he was a step behind the rest.\u00a0 And didn\u2019t that just about fit?<\/p>\n

Maybe it was because he\u2019d hesitated inside, when they heard the dinner bell clanging in discordant alarm.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019d been a little surer than the rest about what they were going to find outside, and the picture they found only fit his expectations.\u00a0 Joe must have grabbed the cord of the bell as he fell, as he stumbled into the tumbled rocking chair to collapse on the porch.\u00a0 Clay had had a terrible idea that something like this was going to happen as soon as he learned that Joe had gone into town that afternoon.<\/p>\n

He had thought of riding after him.\u00a0 Joe had ridden after him<\/em>, after all, when he was the one who\u2019d gone into Virginia City.\u00a0 But it was him the miners wanted most of all, and he couldn\u2019t be sure that going wouldn\u2019t make things even worse, provoking a confrontation Joe alone might avoid.\u00a0 So he\u2019d stewed and worried and waited, out at the round-up and then once they were back at the house, and all the worst things had happened anyway.<\/p>\n

Well, Joe wasn\u2019t dead.\u00a0 But the worst thing save that.<\/p>\n

It was only as they were all carrying Joe into the house together that it finally occurred to Clay that he could have asked Hoss or Adam to go into town after Joe.\u00a0 He could have told them that he was worried about the miners, that they knew Joe was his brother, that this could all go badly.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s other older brothers would have gone.\u00a0 They<\/em> could have helped.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t used to having people around who could help.\u00a0 He had no practice at asking for help.<\/p>\n

They all carried Joe up to his bedroom, and then Clay fled back downstairs, slipping out of the room while everyone else was focused on their youngest family member.\u00a0 He left the Cartwrights to it, knowing he didn\u2019t belong here.\u00a0 Not around Joe\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n

Not in this family.<\/p>\n

Whatever this experiment was, it was over.\u00a0 It had to be over.<\/p>\n

He tried to explain that to Ben, when the man came downstairs again a while later.\u00a0 It took him by surprise when Ben told him to stay, insisted that he was still part of the family.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t change anything that mattered, though, except for making this even harder.<\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t understand, with all his talk about facing things together.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Clay was trying to avoid<\/em>.\u00a0 Because sure, running away wouldn\u2019t stop trouble from following him.<\/p>\n

But it would stop it from following Joe<\/em>.<\/p>\n

As soon as Ben went back upstairs, Clay grabbed his things \u2013 he never carried much, and he had never unpacked anyway \u2013 and slipped out the front door.<\/p>\n

He thought he\u2019d made a clear escape, felt sure enough about that to stop and camp a few hours on, after night fell.\u00a0 Or maybe it was too hard to pass the particular campsite, the same scrubby patch of earth where he and Joe had drunk too much pulque and toasted everything they could think of.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t, couldn\u2019t<\/em>, say good-bye to Joe, so maybe this was the next best thing.<\/p>\n

He had coffee brewing by the time he heard the hoofbeats.\u00a0 His first instinct was to grab his gun, just in case, but his second guess\u2014well, who else would come to look for him here of all places?<\/p>\n

He watched the black and white horse approach, the man in green swaying on its back, and cursed Ben Cartwright for not even managing to keep his injured youngest son at home.\u00a0 What had he done, told<\/em> Joe that Clay was gone?\u00a0 It was probably a Cartwright value to tell the truth all the time.<\/p>\n

He had known Joe might follow him, but he had hoped he was wrong.<\/p>\n

And now he knew for sure.\u00a0 Joe was going to follow him all the way to Hell if that\u2019s where he led.\u00a0 Because that\u2019s what family meant to Joe.\u00a0 That\u2019s what it meant to him to be brothers.<\/p>\n

And Clay knew already how this had to end.\u00a0 How he<\/em> had to end it.\u00a0 He could ride back with Joe, try again, but it would only be delaying the inevitable, delaying the same ultimate result.<\/p>\n

This was the moment.\u00a0 This was where he had to end it, because he was the older brother and his sensible voice told him that meant he had to do the right thing.<\/p>\n

The fact that his sensible voice sounded a little like Ben Cartwright tonight didn\u2019t make things any easier, but it still didn\u2019t change the conclusion.<\/p>\n

His grandparents had taken him, Clay, away from his mother.\u00a0 Away, ultimately, from this family, Ben Cartwright and his sons.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t going to take Joe away from them.\u00a0 Not down to Mexico, not into a pointless brawl somewhere, not in front of a stray bullet.<\/p>\n

So the only way he could find to be a good brother was to be a very, very bad one.<\/p>\n

Maybe the Cartwrights told the truth all the time.\u00a0 But he was his grandparents\u2019 child, a DeMarigny in the blood.\u00a0 His grandparents had changed the entire course of his life, of his mother\u2019s life, with lies.\u00a0 He knew how to lie.<\/p>\n

He was just enough Cartwright to have to turn his back on Joe while he did it.\u00a0 But he could still lie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

9.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hoss hated it when he didn\u2019t know whether he should worry about Little Joe or be angry with him.\u00a0 This came up a lot, and it was in full force tonight.\u00a0 Joe shouldn\u2019t be out riding, the state he was in, and Hoss was that mad at him for going.\u00a0 And he couldn\u2019t see why their father thought they shouldn\u2019t go after him, even if it would be hard to find a trail by moonlight.\u00a0 Whatever Pa said, Hoss wasn\u2019t going to bed; he was just going to wait a little while longer until he was sure Pa was asleep in the armchair downstairs, and then he was going to slip out to the barn and get his horse.\u00a0 He could at least try<\/em> to track Joe, to find him and haul him back home again.<\/p>\n

That was the plan, right up until he heard the front door open, and heard the low murmur of Pa\u2019s voice.\u00a0 He eased out of his bedroom, walked to the top of the stairs where he could see the room below and the space by the front door \u2013 and could see Little Joe hanging onto Pa for dear life, shoulders shaking.<\/p>\n

Hoss got one foot on the top step before Adam\u2019s hand closed on his arm.\u00a0 He glanced back, noted that Adam was still fully-dressed too, and said in a low voice, \u201cJoe\u2019s home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet them be,\u201d Adam said, pulling him back into the upstairs hallway.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ll call if they need us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Little Joe\u2019s upset and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u00a0 Let him get it out with Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss hesitated, because his first instinct was to plunge in and find out what had happened and if he needed to tear someone \u2013 Clay, probably Clay \u2013 apart for hurting his little brother.\u00a0 But Adam was right that sometimes, the worst times, it was easier to talk to just Pa alone.<\/p>\n

He nodded finally, and they each headed back to their own rooms.\u00a0 Hoss paused in his doorway, gave a nod to Adam\u2019s clothes.\u00a0 \u201cYou were going after him too, weren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave a wry smile.\u00a0 \u201cOlder brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss closed his door and waited, sitting twitchy on the edge of the bed because his big feet would be too loud if he paced, until he heard the scrape of two sets of boots coming up the stairs and crossing the hall to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 More low voices, and a while later Joe\u2019s door clicked shut.<\/p>\n

He was in his own doorway at once, to throw a questioning look at Pa as he stood outside Joe\u2019s door, shoulders slumped as though under a heavy weight.\u00a0 Ben looked at him, then glanced over and there was Adam in his doorway too.\u00a0 Pa pointed to the stairs, and they all descended together.\u00a0 Pa got out the good liquor, once they were down there, and poured himself a glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe asleep?\u201d Adam asked, sitting down on the settee.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr will be soon,\u201d Pa said, sitting down again in the blue armchair.<\/p>\n

Hoss sank onto the seat next to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cDo we need to get Doc Martin?\u00a0 Those ribs\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I think he\u2019s all right,\u201d Pa said, sipping his drink.\u00a0 \u201cAt least, as far as anything the doctor is going to treat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened out there?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

Ben sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose.\u00a0 \u201cClay\u2019s gone, like we thought.\u00a0 And Little Joe rode out to try to find him, like we thought.\u00a0 He tried to convince Clay to come back, but he wouldn\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s what has Joe so torn up?\u201d Adam said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPartly,\u201d Pa said, staring into the amber liquid of his drink.\u00a0 \u201cAnd because Little Joe offered to go with him, and Clay told him he didn\u2019t want him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did what?\u201d Hoss said in a low voice, maybe too low because Pa didn\u2019t repeat it.\u00a0 But Hoss didn\u2019t really want to hear it again anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe way he had his heart set on Clay,\u201d Adam said, \u201cthat must have gone down badly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shoved up from the sofa and set to pacing, heedless of the noise now.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was hard for Joe to talk about,\u201d Pa said, \u201cand I don\u2019t think\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was he thinking<\/em>?\u201d Hoss demanded, just barely managing to keep his voice down.<\/p>\n

\u201cClay was worried about trouble following him, so\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot Clay<\/em>,\u201d Hoss growled.\u00a0 \u201cJoe<\/em>.\u00a0 What was he going to do\u2014just ride off in the middle of the night without a word to any of us?\u00a0 That<\/em> was his plan?\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t often Hoss got a real good mad on.\u00a0 He\u2019d had to learn young, as big and as strong as he was, not to lose control of himself.\u00a0 And while Joe might aggravate the life out of him, he wasn\u2019t ever going to really<\/em> let himself go with his little brother.\u00a0 But this\u2014oh, this burned him up something fierce.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think he had<\/em> a plan, son,\u201d his father started, but that didn\u2019t make anything better.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe tried to leave<\/em> with him!\u00a0 What was he gonna do, follow him to Mexico?\u00a0 Get himself shot in Juarez\u2019s war?\u00a0 Get killed jumping between Clay and a bullet in some saloon?\u00a0 Was Clay gonna send us a polite telegram, letting us know where we could look for Little Joe\u2019s grave?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, that\u2019s enough,\u201d Pa said, in the tone that normally brooked no arguments.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it ain\u2019t half<\/em> enough!\u00a0 Joe hasn\u2019t given a single thought to the rest of us since that dad-blasted new brother of his showed up, and this is just about the last straw.\u00a0 Don\u2019t he care about any of us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, remember the new horse,\u201d Adam said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t a horse!\u00a0 And you ain\u2019t, and Pa ain\u2019t neither!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s eyebrows rose.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t see\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd apparently Joe don\u2019t give two shakes if the whole roof falls in!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a metaphor,\u201d Adam contributed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re<\/em> going to knock the roof off, yelling like that, big brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

All heads turned to see Little Joe standing at the top of the stairs, one hand pressed against the wall as though to brace himself.\u00a0 And Hoss felt something twist up inside, at the bruise darkening his cheek and the way he was standing like his ribs hurt and like\u2014like something else hurt that wasn\u2019t about bruises at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you should be in bed,\u201d Pa said sharply.<\/p>\n

Little Joe summoned up a smile from somewhere, but it was so far away from his usual devil-may-care grins that Hoss wished he hadn\u2019t.\u00a0 \u201cWho can sleep with him yelling about horses?\u00a0 Why\u2019re you yelling about horses?\u00a0 And I don\u2019t want the roof to fall in.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apparently Joe hadn\u2019t heard most of what he\u2019d been saying and\u2014Hoss didn\u2019t know if that was good or not, because this was plainly no time to scrap with him, but that didn\u2019t change<\/em> anything, Joe had still tried to ride off into the night without a word to anyone and looking at him now it was only more<\/em> obvious why he shouldn\u2019t have been going out at all and why didn\u2019t he ever think<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNever mind.\u00a0 Just\u2014never mind.\u201d\u00a0 But he wasn\u2019t sure he could keep quiet if he stayed here, so he stomped off towards the front door.<\/p>\n

He might\u2019ve expected Pa to demand explanations, but it was Joe\u2019s voice that followed him, asking, \u201cWhere\u2019re you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo the barn.\u00a0 Just\u2014gonna go check on the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

It made as much sense as anything tonight.\u00a0 Nobody spoke as he wrenched open the door and let it swing shut again behind him.<\/p>\n

Outside on the porch, Hoss took in a deep breath of the pine-scented air and tried to get a hold of himself.\u00a0 He walked across the yard to the barn, went in through the big door because, sure, he might as well really check on the horses.<\/p>\n

The horses were all asleep, proving they had better sense than the people tonight.\u00a0 Hoss took a quick look at Cochise, confirming that even in the depths of a crisis, Joe had managed to take care of his horse.\u00a0 Apparently he had some<\/em> sense of responsibility to his family, even if it was just to his horse.\u00a0 Hoss stopped in front of Chub\u2019s stall, leaned on the railing to look at the sleeping animal, one foot up on the bale of hay sitting alongside.<\/p>\n

It was like he\u2019d told Adam, he liked Chub.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t want another horse.\u00a0 He glanced again at Chub\u2019s next-stall neighbor, at Cochise\u2019s black and white patches.\u00a0 Far as he could tell, Little Joe had always been real happy with Cochise.\u00a0 Hoss couldn\u2019t see why he\u2019d want another horse either.<\/p>\n

And yeah, he knew<\/em> it was a metaphor, but even in his own head it was easier to think about horses than about what was really clawing at him.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed, and slumped down to sit on the ground with his back against Chub\u2019s stall door.<\/p>\n

He was still sitting there when Pa slipped in the half-open barn door, relief spreading across his face.\u00a0 \u201cGood, you\u2019re in here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSaid this was where I was going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, well.\u201d\u00a0 Pa eased himself down to sit on the nearby bale of hay.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you might have decided to ride after Clay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u00a0 Nah.\u00a0 Not much point in that.\u201d\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t swear he wouldn\u2019t take a swing at the man if he was in front of him, but he wasn\u2019t going to go hunt him down.\u00a0 He supposed he was mad at Clay, but it was a much less\u2014personal<\/em> feeling than his tumult about Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u00a0 That\u2019s good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss hesitated, then asked, \u201cLittle Joe all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he will be, given some time.\u00a0 You know your brother has a way of bouncing back from things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, but he hadn\u2019t seemed quite so bouncy lately.\u00a0 Like maybe things were finally catching up to him.\u00a0 Hoss didn\u2019t say that out loud, just stared into the shadows in the far corners of the barn.<\/p>\n

After a moment, Pa said gently, \u201cAre you<\/em> going to be all right, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

He knew he ought to say yes.\u00a0 Their father had enough to handle with Joe, and he was the older one; he shouldn\u2019t put more weight on their father\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 But sitting here like this, Pa sitting on the hay bale above him \u2013 it made him feel like he was a kid again, like that long ago time when Pa was bigger and taller and had all the answers.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Little Joe was really going to leave with him, Pa?\u201d he asked finally, and even his voice felt smaller too.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think Joe knew.\u00a0 I think he was trying to hold onto something, and didn\u2019t think about what else he\u2019d be giving up.\u00a0 But I do believe, if he had left at all, he wouldn\u2019t have stayed away for long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe that made things a little better?\u00a0 Hoss wasn\u2019t sure.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 I s\u2019pose.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd at least we can be grateful to Clay for one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Hoss asked doubtfully, because he might not want to hunt the man down but he wasn\u2019t feeling too charitable towards him neither.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least he sent Little Joe back home to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

10.<\/em><\/p>\n

Clay didn\u2019t know where he was going.\u00a0 Just away.\u00a0 He just pointed his horse\u2019s head away from the Ponderosa, and Joe, and the Cartwrights, and the mess he\u2019d made of everything, and rode away.\u00a0 Like he always did, when things got too hot in a place.<\/p>\n

His mother\u2019s photo, Joe\u2019s photo of their mother, was heavy in his pocket.<\/p>\n

You bring it back someday<\/em>, Joe had said, pressing it into his hand before riding away.<\/p>\n

But how could he possibly do as Joe asked?\u00a0 Joe\u2019s family \u2013 and when it finally came down to it, they were Joe\u2019s<\/em> family, not his, whatever Ben Cartwright might say about standing together \u2013 would probably shoot him on sight for all the trouble he\u2019d got Joe into.\u00a0 Or for the way he\u2019d broken Joe\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d had to do it.\u00a0 Maybe, if he\u2019d had more experience at being an older brother, he could have found a better way.\u00a0 But all he could think of to do to make sure Joe didn\u2019t keep following after him was to make sure he\u2019d be so hurt and betrayed that he\u2019d go back to the people he knew loved him.<\/p>\n

And leave the one who as good as said he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Clay wiped a hand over his face and kicked the horse into a faster trot.\u00a0 Reckless, probably, to ride this fast in the dark, but what did it matter now?\u00a0 What would it matter if the reckless voice won every time?<\/p>\n

Nobody was waiting for him<\/em> to come home, not even Joe, not really.\u00a0 And if he ever did, it would just start everything up again, run through the whole damn cycle and end up in the same place again.<\/p>\n

He rode for one day, two, three, stopping to camp as late as he dared each night and then starting on the way again at dawn.\u00a0 Not going to<\/em> anywhere, just away<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Until finally, whether it was enough time or enough miles, his head started to clear a little bit.\u00a0 He could start to think again.\u00a0 He could start to hear the sensible voice again, and unexpectedly, against the odds, the sensible voice had an idea.<\/p>\n

It was an improbable, unlikely enough idea that maybe the reckless voice had a little say in it too, but he turned it over from one angle and then another and he couldn\u2019t see that the idea was going to end up with anybody shot or killed, it wasn\u2019t anything illegal, and even if it went badly \u2013 well, then the Cartwrights wouldn\u2019t even know about it, so that wouldn\u2019t matter much.<\/p>\n

And so Clay turned his horse\u2019s head towards San Francisco.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe knew Hoss was mad at him, probably for going out when he was injured.\u00a0 But there had been nothing else he could do, so big brother was just going to have to get over it.\u00a0 Maybe he should confront him about it, but he couldn\u2019t bring himself to face another older brother who thought he wasn\u2019t measuring up.<\/p>\n

The days ticked slowly by as his ribs healed and his bruises faded.\u00a0 Hoss didn\u2019t talk about the night Clay had left.\u00a0 No one did.\u00a0 Everyone seemed determined that everything was going to be fine, that everything was going to go along as it used to be, as though there had never been a Clay Stafford.<\/p>\n

And as if there had never been a Liza Montgomery either, and without Clay around it was harder not to dwell on that<\/em> absence.\u00a0 Or maybe it was the effect of two people he cared about leaving, so close together.\u00a0 It was hard to be around the table with his family, too aware of who wasn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n

The trouble in town blew over, once Clay was gone, and Joe escaped into Virginia City as often as he reasonably could \u2013 or maybe even more often.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to sit around the ranch, thinking.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t a lot<\/em> better sitting around the saloon thinking, but at least there was beer and people \u2013 and no older brothers casting worried glances at him.<\/p>\n

As much as everyone wanted to act like everything was just fine, Adam and Hoss were<\/em> worrying about him.\u00a0 Pa too, but he accepted it a little more easily from Pa.\u00a0 He could see it, the way they looked at him.\u00a0 They all seemed to think he might break apart at any moment, until he was about ready to punch Hoss or Adam and invite them to hit back and see<\/em> if he broke.<\/p>\n

It was enough to make a body feel he\u2019d be better off with no older brothers at all.<\/p>\n

So he sat in the saloon a little too often, nursing a beer and watching the card games, until one day there was a stranger at one of the card tables who got his attention.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t say what it was exactly.\u00a0 The way the man played poker, or a sort of recklessness to his grin.\u00a0 But there was something<\/em> there, and Joe walked over to the table and took a seat.<\/p>\n

\u201cDeal me in,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got the stake?\u201d another man at the table asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, now,\u201d the stranger said, grinning, \u201cdon\u2019t you know this is Little Joe Cartwright?\u00a0 His daddy owns the biggest spread in Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you know my name?\u201d Joe asked, leaning back in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Donovan,\u201d the stranger answered.\u00a0 \u201cDave Donovan, and I ain\u2019t somebody anybody\u2019s likely to know.\u00a0 But everyone knows about the Cartwrights.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words gave Joe a sudden stab, because Liza had said the same thing.\u00a0 He reached for his beer and drank down a long swallow, set the empty mug down with a thud and gestured to the saloon girl to bring another.\u00a0 \u201cWell then, you ought to know this.\u00a0 It\u2019s just Joe, and I bet my own money, not my daddy\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 He reached for his wallet, and threw it on the table.\u00a0 \u201cDeal me in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, friend,\u201d Donovan said, grinning again.\u00a0 \u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe picked up his cards, with the sense that his older brothers would probably say he was being reckless and irresponsible.\u00a0 And right now, that seemed just about perfect.<\/p>\n

End<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For those interested in knowing episode references\u2026the story about Ben being shanghaied was in \u201cSan Francisco.\u201d\u00a0 The songs \u201cSourwood Mountain\u201d and \u201cCareless Love\u201d both appear on the <\/em>Ponderosa Party Time album.\u00a0 Dave Donovan goes on to be a major character in \u201cThe Quest,\u201d which immediately follows \u201cThe First Born” and therefore this story.\u00a0 And Adam\u2019s metaphor about a new horse is inspired by \u201cThe Stallion\u201d (and my own sense that Joe is basically cheating on Cochise in that episode!)\u00a0 Since that\u2019s a Season 14 episode still ten years away, in-universe the metaphor is based only on Adam\u2019s understanding of Little Joe and no actual events.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Hoss Cartwright and Clay Stafford have at least one thing in common \u2013 they\u2019re both older brothers to Little Joe.\u00a0 A Missing Scenes and What Happens Next for \u201cThe First Born,\u201d mostly exploring events from Hoss\u2019 and Clay\u2019s points of view. Connected to my ongoing series, but you can also jump in here.
\nRating: G | Word Count: 17,642<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12522,"featured_media":64524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,1092,61,27,13],"tags":[1100],"class_list":["post-64124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hoss-joe","category-missing-scene","category-whi","category-whn","tag-the-first-born","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1092-id","wpcat-61-id","wpcat-27-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":69,"today_views":64},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/S04.01-First-Born-1.1.jpg?fit=1584%2C1192&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4568,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4568","url_meta":{"origin":64124,"position":0},"title":"Her First Born (by pjb)","author":"pjb","date":"June 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A WHI for \"The First Born.\" Ben recounts the arrival of Clay Stafford, Marie's first-born son. Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC \u00a016,600","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/4Cartwrights.jpg?fit=849%2C541&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/4Cartwrights.jpg?fit=849%2C541&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/4Cartwrights.jpg?fit=849%2C541&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/4Cartwrights.jpg?fit=849%2C541&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47652,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47652","url_meta":{"origin":64124,"position":1},"title":"Brother? (by Lau)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"September 9, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis: What was Adam real feelings when he knew that Clay Stafford was his little brother's brother. Rating:\u00a0 G Words:\u00a0 2,100","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14392,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14392","url_meta":{"origin":64124,"position":2},"title":"The First Born Returns (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 12, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Clay Stafford returns to the Ponderosa. Rating: \u00a0T \u00a0(2,500 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1634,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1634","url_meta":{"origin":64124,"position":3},"title":"Clay (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"August 10, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A sequel to the episode First Born. \u00a0 A chance meeting in an hotel reunites Joe with his brother Clay. 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