{"id":6452,"date":"2014-05-04T10:27:44","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T14:27:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6452"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:12:45","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:12:45","slug":"a-prayer-in-the-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6452","title":{"rendered":"A Prayer in the Night (by MissJudy)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"label\" style=\"color: #000000;\">Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Ben stands vigil as thirteen-year-old Adam lies near death with a raging fever. The father blames himself and questions his ability as a parent\u00a0while offering a prayer to give his own life to spare his son&#8217;s. A stranger helps Ben face his fears and understand that parenthood takes courage and help from unexpected places.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"label\" style=\"color: #000000;\">Rated:<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0K+ WC \u00a04600<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><b>Story Notes:<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This is a prequel with Adam at age 13, Hoss at 6 and Little Joe as a baby. Marie makes a cameo appearance as Ben grieves his choices and deals with his torment.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>A Prayer in the Night<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry Ben, there\u2019s no more you or I can do. It\u2019s up to him now.<\/strong> He\u2019ll have to fight this with everything he\u2019s got if he wants to live.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After uttering those ominous words, Bill Farley squeezed Ben\u2019s arm and walked toward the bedroom door, turning back to add, \u201cI\u2019ll let myself out.\u201d Yet he knew the worried father hadn\u2019t heard a word he\u2019d said after he\u2019d proclaimed the stark reality of Adam\u2019s condition.<\/p>\n<p>There weren\u2019t trained physicians living in the Nevada territory and there probably wouldn\u2019t be any until the population and opportunity grew a little more, but there were people who were skilled in natural medicine and shared their talents with those who needed help. Bill Farley was a neighbor who had a \u201csense\u201d about ailments, could often figure out what was wrong and usually offered some herb preparation, poultice or advice that would help. He\u2019d come at Ben\u2019s request and was hopeful some of his tried and true methods could break Adam\u2019s fever, but nothing had worked. He was stymied at the lack of response to all of his attempts at easing the child\u2019s condition, and was leaving the Cartwright family with a heavy heart, knowing that the young man would likely succumb to whatever horrible illness was plaguing him.<\/p>\n<p>Ben heard footfalls down the stairs after Bill left, the brief goodbyes being given at the door and then Marie\u2019s lighter step as she made her way up to the room where Ben stood gazing down at his son. With his dark curls haloing his pale white face and bright red cheeks, the child already looked like he had passed to another realm where his earthly family could no longer reach him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDarling,\u201d Marie ventured. When Ben did not look up, she walked over, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and quietly held the man she loved. She knew there were no words that would comfort him at this moment and gently turned him to face her. \u201cI would offer to remain here with you, Ben, but you would tell me I need to rest. I would protest, but you would say that our Little Joseph and Hoss need me to be up and ready to care for them in the morning. Then I\u2019d say that I cannot stand the thought of leaving you alone and you would remind me that it is as you wish. And finally I would tell you not to blame yourself for this and you would ask whom else to blame. So, I will simply bid you good night. I doubt that I will sleep well, and while I\u2019m awake will bombard heaven with prayers for our child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben smiled down at Marie and broke out of his anguish long enough to kiss her. \u201cI\u2019m glad \u2018we\u2019 had this little talk,\u201d he said with a wisp of a chuckle.<\/p>\n<p>Marie winked at Ben, kissed him gently and then went over to the silent child that barely raised a mound in his encasement of blankets. She sat next to him, held his hands and kissed each one before placing her cheek against his while whispering, \u201cI pray that you will heal this night my sweet. You must fight and stay strong, for we would all find it impossible to go on without you.\u201d A final kiss to his forehead confirmed what Marie feared; his fever warmed her lips as they met his skin, and she knew his small body couldn\u2019t bear the high temperature much longer. She stood and turned once more to Ben, touched his cheek lightly and bid him goodnight with words she could only pray would prove true. \u201cAll will seem better in the morning, my love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alone with Adam, Ben turned the lamp down and knelt at the bedside. He was exhausted after several days of watching his nearly13 year old son get worse until now he lay there silent: his chest barely rising and falling. Although the boy was only as tall as Marie now, he was beginning to show signs of changing from a boy to a man. It came to Ben\u2019s mind that he himself had grown like a weed between ages 13 and 15 and expected that Adam would probably do the same. But now\u2026 He tried to stop the thought from entering his mind, yet it snuck in and struck with a hard left to his gut: \u201cBut now, would he even live through this night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben lowered his head to his hands and began:<br \/>\n\u201cDear Lord, What kind of father am I? How can I come to you, asking you to rescue my son when I have done such a miserable job with this child you entrusted to me? What kind of father would let his son get so sick that they would have to hear a healer\u2026a friend, tell him that there is nothing more to be done: that it\u2019s up to a 13 year old boy to decide if he can find enough strength to fight for his life? What kind of God would allow this boy\u2019s mother to die and leave me behind with him instead?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not questioning your authority God, just your purpose. Wouldn\u2019t he have been better off if I had died and Elizabeth had lived to raise him in a civilized city instead of living with me in this wild country? \u00a0If Adam truly must decide to live or die, will he want to stay with me, after the life I\u2019ve given him, or will he prefer to join his mother with you? \u00a0I believe that you are a good and gracious God, so please, Lord, if you require a life tonight, let me be the one to go. I pray now to ransom my son\u2019s life with my own\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben stayed kneeling at Adam\u2019s bedside for a long while as he finished praying, then pulled a chair close enough that he could sit and hold his son\u2019s hand. There was a moment of hope when Ben felt how cool Adam\u2019s fingers had become. But a quick check of the child\u2019s forehead and blazing red cheeks confirmed that the fever was still raging. Slipping his hand beneath the covers, he noted that Adam\u2019s feet and legs were cool as well. There was only one thing he knew of that was indicated by cooling limbs and it made Ben\u2019s mouth go dry with pure terror while his pulse pounded in his head.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, God, no,\u201d Ben moaned to himself looking toward heaven, \u201cDon\u2019t punish my son for my mistakes!\u201d He added another blanket over the boy\u2019s feet and continued his vigil. When his emotional and physical exhaustion finally left him bobbing and dozing in the chair, he laid his head down at Adam\u2019s side, while still holding tightly to his son\u2019s hand, and began again to pray while waiting for what he expected would come soon enough; that which he had no power to stop\u2014the death of his oldest son.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>He was driving a wagon along the road toward the lake, when he glanced to his side, startled to see a man sitting next to him. \u201cSorry, I didn\u2019t realize anyone was with me,\u201d Ben stuttered as his puzzled look revealed that he didn\u2019t recall the circumstances resulting in a stranger being with him on this trip.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou picked me up back a spell, don\u2019t you remember? I was walking and you offered me a ride as far as you were going,\u201d replied the stranger. \u201cYou did seem a bit preoccupied at the time and have been very deep in thought ever since I joined you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben could only manage a simple, \u201cOh.\u201d In truth, he had no recollection of ever seeing the man before.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWho\u2019s that in the back of the wagon?\u201d asked the stranger.<\/p>\n<p>Stopping the team, Ben turned to look because he couldn\u2019t remember having anyone along. Surprised, he offered, \u201cThat\u2019s my son, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe doesn\u2019t look well. Why do you have him out here with you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m honestly at a loss here,\u201d replied a bewildered Ben. \u201cI\u2019m going to pull over and see if I can sort this out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After moving the\u00a0rig to a shaded spot, the two men got out, walked to the back of the wagon and took a good look at Adam. \u201cHe looks feverish,\u201d offered Ben\u2019s companion.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe\u2019s been sick with a fever, but I noticed tonight that his extremities are getting cool and I know that\u2019s a sign that a body is dying, so maybe I wanted to take him somewhere before he goes\u2026away\u2026\u201d Looking around, Ben noted, \u201cThis is one of Adam\u2019s favorite spots on the ranch. Maybe I was bringing him here so he might see it one last time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The stranger guided Ben from the wagon to a grassy patch under a tree. \u201cSit with me Ben. Let\u2019s leave Adam resting and we\u2019ll talk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow do you know my name?\u201d Ben was feeling bewildered\u2014almost as if he were drunk. But he knew he was sober. In fact he wouldn\u2019t have minded losing himself in a bottle of something right then: something to help him forget what was happening and his part in it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI just do. I\u2019ve actually known your whole family for quite some time now, but I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve ever been introduced. I\u2019m Stephen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStephen,\u201d offered Ben as he extended his hand, unable to engage in any further pleasantries.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNow how about you tell me what happened with your son?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell,\u201d Ben stopped to think about what he was doing. Weighing his options, he finally figured it couldn\u2019t hurt if he told someone about it. \u201cAdam was brush clearing with me a few weeks back in a stand of trees I was looking to harvest for a new shed. He knows he needs to keep his jacket on when we\u2019re in the brush in spring, but he got warm, so took it off and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. I checked him for ticks when we got home, but there must have been one I didn\u2019t see. Funny how something that small can cause something so big.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow big did it get?\u201d pressed Stephen.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m such a fool,\u201d Ben continued. \u201cAbout a week after we were out there, I noted Adam wasn\u2019t eating as much as usual and went to bed early, but didn\u2019t think much of it. You see, we have a new baby in the house and things have been turned upside down since his arrival. He\u2019s pretty much managed to upset all our eating and sleeping patterns for some months now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBabies will do that,\u201d Stephen mused. \u201cHow\u2019d your two older sons handle having a new brother?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The fact that the stranger knew of Hoss didn\u2019t seem to upset Ben. \u201cHoss is intrigued by the baby, and Adam is concerned. I think he usually worries about Joseph more than he gets irritated by him, but that\u2019s my eldest.\u201d Ben got up to check on Adam in the buckboard and then returned to Stephen. It felt good to be talking to someone who didn\u2019t dismiss him or try to make him feel better about the course of events that had brought him to this point.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy\u2019d you just call yourself a fool?\u201d wondered Stephen.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy? I ignored Adam\u2019s symptoms because I was too absorbed with the baby, running the ranch and being dead tired all the time. We made a rule for the two older boys that if Joseph was sleeping the rest of us had to be quiet. Marie, the baby\u2019s mother, tries to rest when the baby sleeps, so Hoss and Adam are under strict rules about causing any disruption during those times.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen pressed for more details. \u201cSo how does being human and setting family rules make you a fool?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben was unable to meet Stephen\u2019s eyes as he told the next part of his story, so he rested his head in his hands as he recalled the series of events leading to Adam being in this condition. \u201cI didn\u2019t pay attention, or maybe didn\u2019t want to pay attention, is pretty much the gist of it. I thought Adam was moping because the baby was getting so much of our attention.\u201d Ben had to stop and take a deep breath. The shudder of it emerged from his body in a voiceless sob.<\/p>\n<p>The stranger encouraged, \u201cSo, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After composing himself, Ben started again. \u201cI\u2019ve lost track of time, but I think it was about 5 days ago, Hoss came to me during one of our \u2018quiet times\u2019 in the house. Little Joe and Marie were resting and I was working on our ranch accounts. It\u2019s funny how some moments seem frozen in unbearable memory, even though they seemed so ordinary at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGo on,\u201d Stephen prodded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHoss, our six-year-old, came sneaking down the stairs, trying to be very quiet. I remember watching him in amusement, wondering what he was up to. He finally made it to the table where I was working and whispered that Adam was in his room crying. I yelled, \u2018What in blazes is he crying for!?\u2019 A little too loudly as it turned out, and the house was suddenly alive with Joseph\u2019s wailing and Marie\u2019s displeasure at the untimely awakening.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what did you do about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben now raised his head and looked Stephen in the eyes as he confessed. \u201cI stormed up to his room, threw open the door and chastised him for his jealousy. I assumed that his tears were from self-pity over having to be quiet in respect for his stepmother and new brother. I told him\u2026\u201d Ben could not continue as his voice cracked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSay it Ben. What did you tell Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Finally, in an exhale of pain he said, \u201cI told him that if he wanted to cry, I\u2019d give him something to cry about! I actually walked over to his bed where he was curled up, fully ready to take him over my knee.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen saw the demons of anguish flooding Ben\u2019s eyes as he asked, \u201cAnd what then?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI ordered Adam to his feet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe tried to stand, but cried out in pain and collapsed. It was only then that I noticed the rash on his arms and felt the heat of his skin. And that\u2019s not even the worst of it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGo on, Ben. You need to say it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHoss had followed me up to Adam\u2019s room and stood in the doorway looking on in terror. He finally told me, \u2018Pa, Adam\u2019s been sick for a couple a days already. He didn\u2019t want to bother you, so he\u2019s been hiding it.\u2019\u201d Ben sighed. \u201cI went to ask a local healer for help as soon as I realized how sick the boy was, but although he\u2019s been here frequently, there is nothing he can do. He figured Adam might have been bitten by a tic\u2014a fact confirmed by Hoss who said Adam showed it to him when he pulled it off. The healer said that he\u2019s heard tell of a bad fever carried by tics, but there\u2019s not even a name for it yet. It starts with a sick stomach and tiredness, then progresses to horrible joint pain, rash and high fevers. Living or dying is a toss up once it takes hold.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen summed up the problem. \u201cSo when you found Adam crying, you became angry, thinking he was feeling sorry for himself, when he was actually suffering great pain from this tic fever?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s it. I\u2019m a fool who couldn\u2019t see my own son becoming sicker by the day. I\u2019m the fool whose son hid his illness so as not to be a burden. Oh, Dear Lord, what have I done to my child?\u201d Ben returned his head to his hands for a moment but looked toward Stephen again when he began to speak.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSeems to me that what you\u2019ve done is raised a very intuitive son who wants to bear his own burdens\u2014just like his father.\u201d Stephen pulled a stalk of rye grass from the ground and handed it to Ben. \u201cThe way I see it, is that you\u2019re feeling a whole world of guilt. You feel guilty about being the parent who survived to raise Adam and then making him grow up on the trail West. You feel guilt for making him learn so much so fast, and be responsible, vigilant and helpful. And now you feel guilty about your son getting sick because he was helping you and the worst of your fears is that Adam won\u2019t want to fight for his life because the he thinks the life you\u2019ve given him isn\u2019t worth fighting for. Is that about right, Ben?<\/p>\n<p>Ben nodded. He wasn\u2019t sure how Stephen knew these intimate details of his life, but felt his heart release some of its tension as he heard his greatest fears voiced by another.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTake a look at that blade of grass in your hands, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The father did as he was told to see a seed laden stalk resting in his palm.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSome people are like grass that\u2019s planted to be kept cut back so it grows full and green and pretty. But that\u2019s not you Ben. You let yourself grow to heights you had only dreamed about. And as you grew, you developed seeds that spread, allowing others to dream of growing fine and tall as well. You didn\u2019t keep Adam from a childhood; you gave him the seeds of exploration, wonder and possibility. You taught Adam that the journey is just as important as getting to where you\u2019re going.\u201d After a moment Stephen asked, \u201cDo you see what I\u2019m saying Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben was absentmindedly turning the stalk of grass in his hands, eventually breaking it in half and sticking the upper portion into his shirt pocket. \u201cYour words are kind and encouraging, but they don\u2019t recognize the fact that my son is dying because I am a parent who lost track of him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh, I see,\u201d replied Stephen before pausing to reflect. \u201cBen, parenthood\u2014even at its best\u2014is a juggling act. Sometimes you get all the balls in the air and keep them flying without any problems. You and others watch in amazement as they rise and fall in perfect rhythm. But there are the times when you get distracted and lose track of where the balls are and when that happens, some of them are going to fall. Instead of giving up and letting the others tumble as well, you just have to keep juggling the ones still in the air and hope to retrieve the others when you can. It doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t juggle, just that you need more practice. Do you see?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben chuckled, \u201cA juggling act, huh? Apparently I am not a good juggler.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut you are. You just have too many balls in the air right now and it\u2019s alright to ask for help. People get weary when they try to do everything alone. You carry a huge responsibility on your shoulders, and you\u2019re going to drop a ball now and then. It doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re a bad father, just a tired, overworked, and overstressed one.\u201d Stephen asked again, \u201cBen do you understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI suppose I do, but that doesn\u2019t comfort me now. My child is dying and my heart is breaking. I doubt that I\u2019ll ever make another good decision after this. I am guilty of so many sins I don\u2019t know where to start to ask for forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen ignored the comment and said instead, \u201cIn your prayer tonight, you offered your life for your son\u2019s, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes\u2026but, how\u2026.\u201d Ben stood, his face awash in anger and confusion.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter how I know, just that I do,\u201d countered Stephen. \u201cSo right now, if I offered you the choice of giving your life for Adam\u2019s you\u2019d make the exchange?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAbsolutely! Without hesitation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen had stood as well and took Ben by the shoulders. The father was surprised at the strength he felt in the stranger\u2019s hands. There was something else as well: a warmth and comforting presence Ben wasn\u2019t expecting.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou would offer yourself, even if you dying in Adam\u2019s place meant that three children would be without a father, and a wife would have to go on without her husband? How does that sound like a good idea to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The reply was barely breathed into words, \u201cMight it not be better for them to have no father than to have a bad one?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you\u2019re willing to die for your son, then why aren\u2019t you willing to keep living for him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t understand what you mean,\u201d moaned Ben. Why would I want to live if it means Adam will die? I\u2019m so confused! Why are you doing this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen walked Ben to the wagon to look at Adam. \u201cSee your son? You wanted him to have a life of freedom, challenge and faith in himself. You\u2019ve done that Ben. The things you\u2019re beating yourself up about tonight are because Adam is everything you taught him to be, and he was doing what he thought was right to help you. He did what he did because he loves and respects you, not because he hates you or his life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe shouldn\u2019t have to help me,\u201d he replied, his voice no more than a whisper. \u201cHe\u2019s only a child. He should let me decide what\u2019s best for him. He isn\u2019t the one who should have to die for his decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen held Ben\u2019s shoulders again as they looked at Adam. \u201cYou\u2019re missing the point here. You and Adam are a team. You always were and will be to the end. You both love each other more than life itself and would each give their life if it meant the other could go on living. At this moment, Adam is ill because an infected tic bit him, not because you\u2019re a bad father, or as a judgment or punishment for something you did or didn\u2019t do. Ben, accept that there are things you can\u2019t control and just do the best with those things you can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He turned to face Stephen, \u201cHow do I do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stephen moved away and started walking down the road, looking back only to say, \u201cThis is where we part company.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou didn\u2019t answer my question!\u201d Ben hollered desperately after him. \u201cHow do I do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cForgive yourself for having moments when you drop some of the balls you\u2019re trying to keep in the air. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remember that you sacrifice yourself as much for your children by living and loving them the best way you know how, as by asking to die for them. And above all, keep praying for guidance.\u201d Stephen laughed before adding, \u201cAnd maybe take some juggling lessons!\u201d With a final wave, he was gone.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Ben was aware of a shaft of moonlight casting its\u00a0glow across Adam\u2019s bed. It was still dark, but there was a tinge of gathering daylight in the east. Realizing in panic that he must have been asleep for hours, Ben quickly brought himself to attention. Adam\u2019s hand was warm from being held, but he knew that wasn\u2019t an indication of his son\u2019s condition. Reaching under the covers, he felt\u00a0his feet, finding them cool, but no cooler than earlier.<\/p>\n<p>The foot was hastily withdrawn from Ben\u2019s hand as he heard, \u201cStop it, that tickles,\u201d waft from the top of the bedding.<\/p>\n<p>Ben\u2019s head snapped to Adam\u2019s face. He had been afraid to start his appraisal from the head down, for fear of seeing his son\u2019s angelic face with the pallor of death, so had started from the bottom up. A huge smile spread as he gently took Adam from the bed and held him close. \u201cOh, Adam,\u201d were the only words he could get out. He held onto the child as one clinging to a life ring in a tortured sea.<\/p>\n<p>Ben finally settled the boy back on the bed, propping him up with pillows. \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d he asked with concern.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m good, Pa. I didn\u2019t feel so good yesterday, but I feel a lot better today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAdam, \u2018yesterday\u2019 was 5 days ago. You were very ill, and I\u2019m thankful that you\u2019re doing so well today.\u201d Ben wanted to say more about hiding his illness from his parents, but decided that conversation could wait a bit. Now it was time to celebrate.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPa,\u201d Adam ventured. \u201cI kind of know how to juggle, if you want me to teach you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben wondered why Adam would bring up that particular subject. \u201cWhy do you offer, son?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI heard you talking with someone about juggling during the night. It sounded like you didn\u2019t know how to do it very well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI must have been talking in my sleep.\u201d Ben\u2019s mind was suddenly filled with the remembrance of his dream. \u201cHow do you know how to juggle?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt tells how in one of Marie\u2019s books about the circus. I\u2019ve been practicing during the times we have to be quiet while Little Joe sleeps.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll have you give me a lesson or two when you\u2019re feeling a little stronger. Hey, I probably shouldn\u2019t do this,\u201d Ben offered conspiratorially, \u201cbut nobody else is awake yet to tell us not to. Do you feel up to getting out of this bed for a while? I\u2019ll carry you downstairs. I\u2019m sure Hop Sing\u2019s up already and will make you something to eat if you\u2019re hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Adam sat up immediately and moved to the edge of the bed. \u201cI\u2019m starved Pa and my backside hurts. I suppose I\u2019ve been laying on it too long.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen it\u2019s a deal.\u201d Ben took Adam into his arms as he would a small child while his son melted into his shoulder and notched his head in the curve of his father\u2019s neck. A supreme thankfulness enveloped the man as he realized his son had been given back to him\u2026or had asked to stay. He offered silent prayers of praise as he quietly headed downstairs.<\/p>\n<p>While Ben was tucking a blanket around Adam to keep him warm after depositing him in a chair, Adam pulled something from his father\u2019s shirt pocket. \u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ben looked at the object in Adam\u2019s hand, his heart beating wildly as he recognized it as the stalk of rye grass Stephen had handed him in his dream. \u201cIt\u2019s a reminder, son,\u201d Ben finally replied with as much calm as he could muster, \u201cJust a reminder.<\/p>\n<p>The End<\/p>\n<p>Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_6452\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"6452\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary: \u00a0Ben stands vigil as thirteen-year-old Adam lies near death with a raging fever. The father blames himself and questions his ability as a parent\u00a0while offering a prayer to give his own life to spare his son&#8217;s. A stranger helps Ben face his fears and understand that parenthood takes courage and help from unexpected places. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Rated:\u00a0K+ WC \u00a04600<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":5758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1005,23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1921,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adams-English-Scenic2.jpg?fit=450%2C436&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9716,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9716","url_meta":{"origin":6452,"position":0},"title":"All The Fun Of The Fair (by Sibylle)","author":"Sibylle","date":"September 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Ben and Adam visit a small fair on their way West.\u00a0\u00a0 Prequel 1835 WC: 670\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rating: K","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Prequel&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Prequel","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Screen-Shot-2014-05-04-at-4.30.52-PM.png?fit=464%2C289&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25320,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=25320","url_meta":{"origin":6452,"position":1},"title":"The Christmas Tree Surprise (by wx4rmk)","author":"wx4rmk","date":"December 25, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Ben sets out to surprise his sons at Christmas. 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