{"id":6457,"date":"2014-05-04T10:34:38","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T14:34:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6457"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:12:45","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:12:45","slug":"when-words-are-hard-to-find","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6457","title":{"rendered":"When Words Are Hard to Find (by MissJudy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Adam’s return from college has Ben saying and doing everything wrong, with no clue as to\u00a0why he’s acting that way, yet unable to make any adjustments in his behavior to stop the building crisis. The tension in the house comes to a head as Adam is severely injured in a fall and Ben finds out that his son has made plans to leave the ranch and take a job as an engineer in San Francisco. As Adam’s condition unexpectedly worsens, Ben finds the right words to say, but fears it may be too late to make a difference. Paul Martin and Hop Sing play important roles in easing these two powerful Cartwrights back together.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC \u00a09200<\/span><\/p>\n

Story Notes:<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

This is a rewrite of a story I wrote a few years back at BW. The great part about coming to Bonanza Brand is that I am able to look at older stories and use new writing skills to make them come to life again. What a wonderful opportunity…and also a good chance to weed out those story bumps, lagging parts and grammar errors! Thanks so much for this opportunity!<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

When Words are Hard to Find<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter 1 \u2013 Homecomings and High-water Pants<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe shoved a half piece of toast into his mouth and began chewing as he glanced toward the stairs. His eyes widened as he began laughing so hard that the soggy bread flew from his mouth landing on Hoss\u2019 hands and plate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Focusing an angry gaze on his younger brother, Hoss began to rise from his chair as Ben yelled, \u201cHoss, sit back down. There\u2019ll be no violence at the breakfast table,\u201d followed closely by, \u201cStop that giggling, Joseph. What is so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The youngest Cartwright had passed from his initial reaction to a full-out laughing jag as he choked out, \u201cThat!\u201d pointing towards the steps. Ben and Hoss\u2019 eyes trailed off in the direction Joe was pointing and joined in the laughing as they watched Adam continue down the steps and move to his place at the table.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With dead calm and a straight face, Adam declared, \u201cWell that\u2019s hardly the greeting I expected on my first day back to work on the ranch.\u201d And then laughed too as he remembered his reflection in the bedroom mirror before coming down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gave thanks as he saw his oldest son take the chair across the table from him: a chair that had remained empty for far too long. \u201cWell this confirms what I thought when you arrived yesterday. You seemed taller and thinner but I didn\u2019t know how much until now. I honestly thought you\u2019d put on a few pounds when you were working more mentally than physically at school.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI did at first, but I didn\u2019t want to come home heavier and out of shape. Guess I knew I\u2019d have a hard time getting used to the work on the ranch if I did, so I walked a lot and even rode at a friend\u2019s estate to get my legs back under me. I didn\u2019t realize how much I\u2019d grown though until I put my old clothes on and this happened\u2026\u201d Adam stood, modeling the ankle high pants that threatened to plunge to the floor had he let go of the waistband, and shirtsleeves that barely made it to his wrists. \u201cI think I\u2019m at least 3 inches taller and even my boots are too small,\u201d he laughed, raising his sock clad foot for emphasis.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing had entered to lay a place setting when he\u2019d heard Adam\u2019s voice, and was glowing with happiness at the return of the oldest son. \u201cWhat you like for breakfast?\u201d After eying the ill-fitting clothes, he added, \u201cYou skinny. They not feed you at expensive school?\u201d He laughed, \u201cYou need new clothes. Look like 10 pound potatoes stuck in 5 pound sack.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have whatever these three had, Hop Sing, and thanks again for that wonderful party last night.\u201d Adam flicked a remaining lump of Joe\u2019s toast from the tablecloth, \u201cAmazing as it seems, I have actually missed these\u00a0sophisticated<\/em>\u00a0meals with the Cartwright boys at the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With breakfast completed, Ben ordered, \u201cAdam, change into different clothes and we\u2019ll all ride into town and get you some new things. I know there\u2019re people who couldn\u2019t come out last night that are anxious to see you again.\u201d As Adam headed upstairs, Ben directed his attention to the other boys. \u201cYou two get outside and make sure all our horses are saddled and ready to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe rushed for the door, nearly tripping each other in the process. They both knew that when Pa gave the order to saddle up for town, they didn\u2019t wait around for him to change his mind.
\nChapter 2 \u2013 Fathers and Sons<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the next weeks Adam reconnected with his brothers who seemed happier to have him back than mad at him anymore for being away so long and figured their acceptance had much to do with splitting chores three ways instead of two. Joe had stayed his impish self with his pranks increasing in proportion to the number of his birthdays, while Hoss had changed from a boy into a man. During Adam\u2019s absence, Hoss had made the decision that he wouldn\u2019t go any further with school because he\u2019d decided that his future was on the Ponderosa and he could learn everything he needed to know by doing it. Adam had known Inger for such a short time, but he did remember her being much like the brother he was getting to know again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While he was having fun with his brothers, it was an entirely different story when it came to his father. The problems had started with small digs and verbal skirmishes, but were becoming far more persistent and unsettling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The initial incident had occurred his second day back as Adam had reached over Ben\u2019s shoulder, pointing to a series of numbers in the ranch journal his father was working on. \u201cPa, if you combine this group of figures with the other credits, it\u2019s easier to get a quick bottom line for each transaction.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In uncharacteristic fashion, Ben waved him away with a gruff rebuke. \u201cThe way I do my books is my business. I don\u2019t need you to tell me how to do my job just yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

A similar scene was repeated at the hardware store in town when Adam had asked the owner if he carried a new metal block and tackle that was replacing wooden ones in timbering. When he\u2019d replied that they did and asked if he and Ben would like to see it, his father had grumbled, \u201cThe ones we have are fine. Just because my son is aware of something new doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019ll need to change what we use\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had countered, \u201cI wasn\u2019t saying that we needed them. I was only interested in knowing if they had made it out West yet and thought you\u2019d want to see one. There\u2019s no harm in looking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the wagon ride home Ben had turned toward his son with a look as hard as stone. \u201cListen, Adam. I\u2019m still your father and even though you\u2019re obviously well-educated and aware of the newest things, I\u2019d appreciate it if you\u2019d not contradict me in front of my business associates.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had lived with his father long enough to know that when his face was set as it was, there was no defense or discussion allowed, and figured it better to just remain quiet and let the moment pass.<\/p>\n

The verbal sparring matches were happening regularly with Adam walking away in confused frustration while Ben stood clenching his jaw and fists, not knowing what to say to ease the tension. Hoss and Little Joe knew that if one of these \u201cconversations\u201d were going on, they best stay clear of their father and oldest brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had a pretty good notion of what was happening and even tried once to help Adam understand. \u201cI know it seems like Pa don\u2019t want to listen to none-a-your good ideas, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s really true. It just takes him a while to really\u00a0hear<\/em>\u00a0what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam appreciated his brother\u2019s insight and did know that in the past when his father might have seemed uninterested in an idea, he\u2019d usually soften and begin to adjust to it as he mulled it over. But whatever was happening now was different than he\u2019d ever experienced before. His father had never been shy about telling people that their thinking may not work for him, but he\u2019d never known him to be defensive or to censure him as he\u2019d been doing lately. At times he had the uneasy feeling that his father saw his ideas as offensive or that in sharing them, he was being duplicitous.
\nChapter 3 \u2013 Mysteries and Missed Opportunities
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The confrontations continued and deepened as Adam found himself spending more evenings away from home. He would have preferred it not be that way, but there was such uneasiness between him and his father that it was easier to vacate the ranch than sit in silence fearing that anything he\u2019d say would start another argument.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben hadn\u2019t been vocal about his son\u2019s absence in the evenings, although he usually glared at him as he prepared to leave. But after four consecutive nights of being away, the man finally made his position known. \u201cAre you going into town again tonight?\u201d inquired Ben as he saw Adam grab his coat after dinner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThought I might.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou spend an awful lot of time there, son, and I don\u2019t approve of your trips on the evenings of a work week. You should stay here and get a good night\u2019s rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m always home by midnight and I\u2019m the first one up in the morning, so you can\u2019t possibly think I\u2019m not contributing as much as anyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what to think, Adam. You don\u2019t tell me what you do in town and you seem to mope around until you leave, so you might as well go. You used to be more sensible before you got your expensive education.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam began without knowing what to say. \u201cThings change. I spent so many nights up studying in Boston that I just got used to sleeping less. And it\u2019s so quiet out here compared to the city that it\u2019s almost hard for me to drift off sometimes, even when I\u2019m dead tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben snapped, \u201cSo the Ponderosa isn\u2019t exciting enough for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw, that\u2019s not it at all.\u201d Adam thought about turning around and going to his father, but finally stuck his hat on his head and resumed his exit. \u201cI\u2019m glad to be home. It\u2019s just taking a little getting used to again. The city isn\u2019t better than home, they\u2019re just different.\u201d With his hand on the front door\u2019s latch, Adam turned once more to the chair where Ben was sitting. \u201cWould you like me to stay home tonight? We could play chess or just talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t want to force you to endure the dull company out here,\u201d Ben grumbled. \u201cJust be home at a reasonable hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t go to town, preferring to ride the moonlit trails near the ranch and think through his options. It was early when he returned and headed inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was still downstairs reading, although he\u2019d been retracing the same sentences as he tried without success to focus. \u201cYou\u2019re back early,\u201d he noted as Adam came through the door. \u201cVirginia City not exciting enough for you either?\u201d He hated what he was saying even as the words left his mouth; a condition he was feeling often.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust have something I need to do yet tonight.\u201d He barely glanced toward his father as he headed up the steps to his room. Once there, he sorted through the papers on his desk and placed a number of books into a travel case. With his room in order, he sat at his desk and began to write:\u00a0Dear Pa\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was after two in the morning when he finally turned his lamp down and laid across his bed, wondering if he was doing the right thing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In Ben\u2019s room, a restless father tossed and turned; trying to find Adam in the fog he was walking through. He couldn\u2019t understand why he felt so lost in embracing his son\u2019s return. The years away hadn\u2019t changed the boy: not really. He was still as thoughtful, caring and engaging as he\u2019d always been. But whenever he brought up an idea or suggested a different method or concept, Ben bristled. It had gotten so bad, that he didn\u2019t even listen\u2014just shut his mind down and reacted with anger or disdain. Why? He\u2019d asked himself that again and again without finding the answer, and knew the situation with his son was worsening by the day with no clue how to make it better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The following morning, all four Cartwrights were seated at breakfast when Adam broke the silence. \u201cPa, I think that if we would move about ten of the men working the south slope farther west for the remainder of the week, we\u2019d get more timber cut while the rest of the crew could clear out what\u2019s already down. The cutters and clearers will be tripping over each other the way we have them positioned now\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stopped listening as soon as Adam said, \u2018I think\u2019 and a fierce foreboding look crossed his face as Adam had continued to explain his views. Ben stood in one fierce, fluid effort, throwing his napkin on the table as he looked squarely at his oldest son. \u201cI don\u2019t know why you think you need to reinvent the wheel every time we begin a new project. Things were just fine while you were away, and you need to understand that I am still in charge of this ranch\u2026and this family.\u201d He walked away without a look back, heading to his room where he sat on the edge of the bed cradling his head in his hands; knowing he had just crossed a line with no hint of how to step back over it again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe and Hoss had watched in frozen terror as their father had spoken, and stared at their brother in disbelief once Ben was gone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, guys.\u201d Adam soothed. \u201cYou know Pa always gets a little tense when there\u2019s a big job on the line.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two younger boys relaxed. \u201cHey, Adam,\u201d offered Hoss. \u201cHow\u2019s about we all head over to the fishin\u2019 hole on Sunday and drop a worm in the water or go swimmin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a good idea. We can head out after church.\u201d What Adam didn\u2019t say, was that it might be a very good idea to spend some time together before it was too late.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe released a deep sigh as the tension in the room broke and the promise of a fun day in the near future took shape. \u201cI\u2019ll tell Pa,\u201d he shouted back while running up the steps to find his father.
\nChapter 4 \u2013 The Final Straw
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The week ground slowly by until the Cartwrights finally found themselves sitting in a church service that seemed interminably long to Little Joe and Hoss, whose minds were already racing to the lake for some fun. At long last, Ben pulled the wagon into their yard and the two ran to the house to gather the needed items for the outing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you coming with us Pa?\u201d Adam inquired as he helped get the team into the corral and took the harnesses into the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you three go on and have a good time. Just remember that tomorrow is a work day, so don\u2019t stay out too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thinking his father had gone on to the house, Adam muttered, \u201cHow can I forget that it\u2019s a work day. That\u2019s all I ever hear around here. \u2018Don\u2019t suggest anything, just work.\u2019 \u2018Don\u2019t think: work.\u2019 \u2018Go to bed so you can work in the\u2026\u2019\u201d He spun around when he heard Ben draw a deep breath, knowing his father hadn\u2019t left the barn after all, and surely had heard his litany.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you expect that you would come home and simply begin to run things around here? To think of the small fortune I spent on your education only to have your newfound knowledge thrown in my face at every opportunity!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa. I didn\u2019t mean it\u2026\u201d His profession was sincere, but his father had already turned and walked away.
\nChapter 5 \u2013 A Good Day Gone Bad
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After having their lunch and feeding worms to the fish, as Hoss called fishing without catching anything, the brothers slipped on old pants and swung into the water from the rope they\u2019d tied on an overhanging branch. Worn out from the weeks of work and tension, Adam laid back on a flat, warm rock to dry off and soon fell asleep while Hoss and Joe tried again to catch some fish.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having no more luck fishing than earlier, the two boys snuck up and pounced on their sleeping brother. Adam yelped as they landed, realizing his snooze had continued long enough to be taking home a reminder of the day in the form of a sunburn on his chest, arms and feet. He groaned as he contemplated the discomfort he\u2019d be in over the next few days while the burn would go through the process of hurting to itching before finally beginning to heal. He also knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to complain without eliciting a lecture from his father about his lack of forethought. With his skin so sensitive, he chose to forego redressing, riding shirtless and barefoot. As he rode, the early evening air cooled his heated skin and relieved the strain he\u2019d soon face again over what he\u2019d do or say to bring on the next confrontation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe got out ahead of his brothers and pulled off the path, dismounted and ran up to a canyon overlook that he loved. \u201cHey Adam,\u201d he called as he waved to his brothers. \u201cRemember this place we used to come and watch the sunset and shootin stars?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam waved back and called that he did remember.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s stay here until dark, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry kid, Pa\u2019s expecting us home,\u201d Adam called back. \u201cCome on along. We\u2019ve got to get going.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But instead of coming, Joe shot farther into the canyon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reaching the point his brother had started from, Adam slid off his horse and hot-footed it over to the rock Joe had been standing on, to get a better look at where the he might have moved to. Hoss was soon behind him, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome on out little buddy. Adam\u2019s right, Pa\u2019s expecting us home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe heard, but remained hidden between two large boulders. He didn\u2019t want to go home\u2013not yet anyway. The day had been so much fun and he was in no mood to return to the tensions of the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe better go find him,\u201d Adam grumbled to Hoss as he began to turn. \u201cDang it,\u201d He grabbed his foot and inspected the rapidly spreading blood trail coming from a cut. \u201cThese rocks are sharp!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou best go back and get your boots on before we head out to grab that little coyote.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBrilliant idea, Hoss,\u201d Adam replied as he stepped down from the ledge to return to his horse. But in stepping, his bare foot connected with an area of scree that began to roll like marbles taking Adam along as they moved down an embankment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Hoss knew what was happening, his older brother was disappearing over the edge of the path he had been standing on. He saw Adam grabbing at anything he could reach, but his descent continued until he tumbled into in a good sized bed of prickly pear cactus and creosote brush growing on a rubble crusted ledge about 50 feet down from where he started.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A distressed cry echoed in the canyon as Adam came to a stop. Joe left his hiding place and shimmied down the hill to see how badly Adam was hurt, as Hoss followed, grabbing Joe before he got tangled up in the same mess of brush and thorns his brother was in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss asked anxiously, \u201cHow ya doin Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBeen better,\u201d he confessed truthfully. \u201cHoss, I\u2019m gonna need some help here and you\u2019ll need to ride for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCain\u2019t we help ya out?\u201d Hoss hoped the answer would be yes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen,\u201d Adam panted in pain as he spoke, \u201cI\u2019m in a heap of trouble here: covered in cactus spines and ripped up pretty bad from the fall, and you can\u2019t help without getting into the same predicament.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam,\u201d whined Hoss, who didn\u2019t want to leave his brother alone, especially when he saw the blood beginning to spread out from where he lay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGo! And take Joe with you. Bring back leather gloves and hides or those thick Indian blankets we\u2019ve got in the house\u2014anything that you can put over these cactus plants to get in here and help me get up. If I try to move, these needles are just going in deeper.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to stay with you,\u201d cried Little Joe. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll right. But you can\u2019t come any closer. Just stay where you are and talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was already up the hill and mounted by the time Adam had agreed to let Little Joe stay, and once he knew he could leave, he rode for home like the devil was chasing him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While waiting in the canyon, the youngster was true to his word, talking continuously and kept it up long after Adam had stopped responding. It seemed like he had talked forever before he heard horses and a wagon approaching. \u201cThey\u2019re here Adam,\u201d he breathed in relief, \u201cYou\u2019ll be all right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was astounded at the sight of his son: tangled in creosote branches, and overlaid with bruises, cuts and cactus needles. There was blood everywhere\u2014so much blood that Ben\u2019s mouth went dry at the thought, his fear further driven by the fact that they couldn\u2019t rouse him. In truth, that condition made it easier to extricate him without causing further pain, but Ben and the ranch hands who\u2019d come to help, understood that there was no time to be wasted in getting Adam home to where Paul Martin should be waiting.
\nChapter 6 \u2013 Bruised and Bloodied, But a Survivor
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The father was pacing the hallway when Doc Marin finally exited Adam\u2019s room. He’d been asked to leave so that the doctor could speak to Adam alone for a bit. \u201cWell?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019ll be fine Ben. Thankfully there\u2019re no broken bones. I stitched the deeper cuts, removed the cactus spines I could see, and applied so many bandages he resembles a mummy. But he\u2019s also got a multitude of bad bruises and a mild sunburn so that mix of injuries and conditions will make him very uncomfortable for a few days.\u201d Paul smiled as he reached for his friend\u2019s shoulder. \u201cThere\u2019s little doubt that he\u2019ll remember this afternoon for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he hit his head when he fell? I wondered at why he was out for so long.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately for him, he came to just as I got to sewing him back together. The kid\u2019s like his father though: tough. Thought he might break his teeth from gritting them so tightly as I worked.\u201d He closed his eyes as he recalled how he\u2019d told Adam to holler if the pain got bad, but the young man had uttered nothing but a low moan whenever he\u2019d gone deep for a stitch. Looking at Ben again, he saw the impatience lodged on the man\u2019s face and realized he hadn\u2019t answered completely. \u201cHis head is fine. I think he must have passed out from pain and shock when it initially happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the doctor made no move away from Adam\u2019s doorway, Ben\u2019s annoyance flared as he reached behind him toward the doorknob. \u201cExcuse me. I\u2019d like to see my son now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doc Martin intercepted the man\u2019s hand, gently moving it away from the knob. \u201cHe\u2019s had medication for pain and needs to rest now, so why don\u2019t you and I go downstairs and spend a couple of minutes talking before I go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reluctantly turned away from where he most wanted to be and headed downstairs, finding Hoss and Joe sound asleep in the chairs they\u2019d been holding vigil in. They were grateful to hear that their brother was going to mend, and headed up to bed, leaving the two adults alone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do you need to talk to me about?\u201d he asked matter-of-factly once his sons were out of earshot. \u201cIs Adam\u2019s condition more serious than you made it out to be?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow have things been going out here since Adam got home from school?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Confused at the question, he first offered, \u201cFine.\u201d But as he met Paul\u2019s eyes, he knew his lie wasn\u2019t fooling him for a minute. \u201cMaybe not so fine. What makes you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I see a look in Adam\u2019s eyes\u2014and yours as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat on earth does that mean?\u201d Ben growled like a cornered animal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means that I know what\u2019s been going on in this house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHas Adam complained to you?\u201d The father\u2019s expression moved from shock to anger at the thought that his son would take family problems outside their home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not, Ben! But I know that look in his eyes. It tells me he\u2019s so unhappy here that he\u2019ll be leaving. He may not even want to, or know why it\u2019s come to this, but he\u2019ll know that he has to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben reared back, feeling like he\u2019d been slapped. He wanted to react: to lash out at this man who had no right to be insinuating himself into problems between him and his son, but finally asked with a barbed edge to his voice, \u201cJust how do you know that\u2019s what you\u2019re seeing?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know because it\u2019s the same look I saw staring at me in the mirror 20 years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul moved closer to his friend. \u201cLet me tell you what\u2019s been going on. There have been an increasing number of heated conversations. Adam suggests thing and you counter with phrases that tell him you\u2019re in charge. He tries to show you new things and you dismiss him. Does this sound familiar? And, he spends a lot of time away from home.\u201d He let that sink in for a moment and then asked, \u201cBen, how many times have you brought up the money you spent on his education since he\u2019s been back?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The father was visibly shaken, unable to answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul continued the explanation, \u201cThere\u2019re a few things about me that you don\u2019t know. My father was a doctor with a nice practice out East. I thought he was the finest man in the world, and did whatever I could to please him, including following in his footsteps to become a doctor. He promised that once I was ready, we\u2019d have a practice together that would become the finest in the city\u2014up on the newest techniques and treatments. After school, I returned home knowledgeable in those things we\u2019d planned to implement, eager to work with him as we\u2019d envisioned. But instead of being happy to have me back, he began to resent any idea I proposed, and became fearful that his patients would think him less acceptable when compared to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The father\u2019s scowl turned to a wry smile. \u201cSounds like something I might know a little about. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI tried to tough it out, thinking that if I worked hard enough things would improve. But the arguments, the implication that my suggestions were meant to question his authority, the admonishments that I had no right to have an opinion without putting in the years of work that he had\u2014and most of all, the general tension\u2014got to be too much. I put up with it as long as I could and then came West to practice on my own. I know that my father cared about me but he just couldn\u2019t give me a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCould anything have kept you from leaving?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe could have told me what was bothering him, or even that he knew things had gone awry and would try harder. He just couldn\u2019t though. I guess it was easier to let me go than to find the right words that might have made me stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Paul, but I must say that I\u2019m glad you ended up out here. And I suppose that what you\u2019ve just told me strikes a little close to home, but is there something more that makes you feel Adam is preparing to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know Adam spends a lot of time in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course. We\u2019ve \u2018discussed\u2019 that, but he doesn\u2019t say where he goes. It\u2019s not as though he drinks, because I\u2019ve been up when he comes home and there\u2019s no liquor on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul indicated that Ben should sit. \u201cWhen Adam comes to town, he spends the night in the back of the saloon. Folks are anxious to hear about his time in the East, and what he did and learned while he was away at school. Mac Davis heard about a water system Adam designed for a class and finally asked if he\u2019d help him engineer one for his spread. He\u2019s building it right now. Heck, Sam says he likes the nights Adam doesn\u2019t come to town because when he\u2019s there most people are in the back with him and forget to drink. What I figure is that your son is busting with good ideas and if he has to go to town to talk to strangers about them, then he has no one to talk to out here\u2026or at least no one who wants to listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not fair, Paul,\u201d Ben countered. \u201cI don\u2019t have time to pay attention to everything he has to say. You know how busy this ranch keeps me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI surely do, but that\u2019s not why you aren\u2019t listening to Adam. The real reason is something you have to figure out for yourself.\u201d Doc Martin paused to let Ben think as he pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t be showing this to you, but I think you need to know.\u201d Paul handed him the paper. \u201cAdam asked me to take this to the telegraph office for him. I told him I couldn\u2019t do it until Tuesday, so you have a day to work this out or I\u2019ll do as he asked.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s heart pounded as he read, \u201cFrankie, will take job. Please confirm offer still current. Arrive San Francisco early November. Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul rose to leave. \u201cI know you don\u2019t want this to happen, but you\u2019ll have to figure out what to do about it. Adam is the finest young man in this territory and I think it will break you if he leaves.\u201d Reclaiming the note, he added, \u201cI\u2019ll be back to check on him tomorrow afternoon and will know then what I need to do about the telegram.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once Paul was gone, Ben hurried up to Adam\u2019s room, finding him covered in bandages as the doctor had promised, but resting comfortably. He leaned to stroke the boy\u2019s forehead, finally resting his hand on his cheek. There was no movement, making him wonder if Paul had been correct in his appraisal that all would be fine. Deciding he\u2019d stay in Adam\u2019s room for the night, he looked around for Elizabeth\u2019s Bible, finally lifting the top of Adam\u2019s desk. His eyes were drawn to a sheet of paper with the heading, Dear Pa, resting under the book of scriptures he was looking for. Not wanting to snoop, he was still unable to close the desk and walk away, finally deciding that he needed to know what the letter said. He pulled it out, held it near the lamp and began to read.<\/p>\n

Dear Pa,<\/em><\/p>\n

It seems ridiculous to hand you a letter stating my intentions rather than talking to you directly, but our conversations have not gone well of late. When you finish reading this, you may say whatever you wish and I\u2019ll listen without interruption.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You must agree that things are not right between us. I was nervous about coming home, knowing that life did not stand still in my absence. While I realized that Hoss and Little Joe might not want their older brother to resume his position in the family and that it would take some time to fit back into the pace of life out here, I never<\/em>\u00a0considered that you would be the one most changed.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure the reason, but it\u2019s become clear that you\u2019re the one who least welcomes my return. I sense that you see my education as unwarranted and that I\u2019m a great disappointment. You\u2019ve implied that I came home expecting to take charge, but please believe that I had no such assumptions and figured we\u2019d work together to find where I\u2019d best fit into the operation. My intention was always to merit any increased responsibility you\u2019d give me.<\/em><\/p>\n

A friend from school has extended a job offer in San Francisco. He\u2019s doing very well, and wants me to join him. In light of what is happening here, I\u2019ve decided to leave as soon as the summer chores are finished, or sooner if you\u2019d prefer.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I place no blame for what\u2019s happened; time and distance alter many things. Even so, I suppose I could stay, try to recreate things as they were before I left and pretend that I\u2019d be happy that way, but I\u2019d come to resent it. I didn\u2019t come home to take over, but the truth is that I am older and wiser, and in need of challenge and growth. It is for these reasons alone that I leave. You don\u2019t want me here as I am, and I can\u2019t stay if it means that I can\u2019t be who I\u2019ve become. I hope that someday you\u2019ll forgive me this decision and the disappointment I\u2019ve caused you. I can\u2019t ever repay all you\u2019ve done for me. All I can do is try to become the man you are.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grasping the unsigned letter, Ben sat on the edge of Adam\u2019s bed whispering in agony only a father can feel, \u201cHow could I let this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stirred and opened his eyes. \u201cPa, Is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben remained silent, head bowed while his jaw clenched as tightly as he crushed the letter until he shuddered with a sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben composed himself and turned toward Adam showing him the crumpled wad of paper. \u201cHow can you think I want you to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling mildly sick from the sedative and suddenly very anxious at the situation, Adam pushed stiffly to a sitting position. \u201cI don\u2019t want to leave, but you\u2019re so unhappy with me that I thought it best. I\u2019m sorry you found that letter before I could give it to you, but you have to know that I wouldn\u2019t have left before doing so, and listening what you had to say. I\u2019d never act that cowardly.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not upset about the letter; I\u2019m upset because you felt you had to write it. I\u2019ve looked forward to you coming home since the day you left and then when you did, I just worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWorried?\u201d The son\u2019s expression was puzzled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, worried. I thought that after being with professors and scholars you would dismiss me as unimportant. I was afraid you\u2019d realize that I\u2019m not as smart as you thought I was when you were younger, and I would become unnecessary or a fool you humored with your presence from time to time. Because of my fears, I used everything you said as proof that those assumptions were correct. I knew I was wrong every single time I was short with you or criticized your thoughts, yet felt powerless to be any different.\u201d He raised his eyes to meet his son\u2019s and smiled sadly, \u201cBut part of me thought that I was hiding it so well that you didn\u2019t notice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam choked on a painful laugh. \u201cPa, you\u2019re the smartest man I\u2019ve ever known. Those professors you refer to do know a lot, but all they do is talk. They all stay put in their classrooms telling people how to do things, but never do them. You\u2019ve done things they\u2019d never think of trying, and took me along with you! I had teachers who couldn\u2019t believe the life I\u2019ve had or that I was related to you. I\u2019m not sure how information gets to where it does, but many people back East had heard of you and the Ponderosa. Being your son took a lot of living up to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young man groaned audibly as he moved and then chuckled softly. \u201cWho\u2019d have thought that a simple day of swimming and rolling down a hill would end up hurting so much?\u201d He eased his back farther up the headboard in an attempt to get more comfortable. \u201cGetting back to what we were talking about and in the spirit of confession, I think that when I got home I wanted to prove that I\u2019d learned as much as possible so that you\u2019d be proud of me\u2026and I got pushy about my ideas.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben gently grasped his son\u2019s shoulders. \u201cThis is entirely my fault, and I don\u2019t say this enough: I have never known a day when I wasn\u2019t proud of you. You\u2019ve always amazed me and continue to do so. The way I\u2019ve behaved isn\u2019t who I want to be, but I\u2019m not used to my children getting smarter while I don\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Ben chuckled wryly, \u201cAnd it seems to be happening more every day.\u201d
\nChapter 7 \u2013 When the Best Moments Go Bad
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was still considering his father\u2019s comment when he sat forward mumbling, \u201cPa, I don\u2019t feel\u2026.\u201d His body went limp, falling forward into Ben\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he didn\u2019t respond Ben laid him back onto his pillow, staring at the inexplicably pale young man who was suddenly sweating and breathing rapidly as his eyes rolled back into blankness. \u201cAdam? Adam!\u201d Ben shouted as he gently shook his shoulders. \u201cWhat\u2019s happening?\u201d Ben raged at no one in particular as he now focused on the fresh blood seeping through the bandages where he\u2019d just had his hands. Folding the covers back, he stared at the rapidly pinking bindings that had been white only minutes before. Hearing Hop Sing downstairs, he shouted to him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Out of breath from running up the steps, Hop Sing appeared in the doorway, \u201cWhy you shout?\u201d But as he spoke, he saw the panic in Ben\u2019s eyes and the lifeless body of the Cartwright son. \u201cI go bring doctor back. You no worry, son be fine. You see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben accompanied Hop Sing to the kitchen where he began to gather warm water and more bandages to reinforce the ones that were becoming soaked with fresh blood. \u201cHurry Hop Sing. Something is going terribly wrong\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI ride fast while pray. You go, stay with son; pray too.\u201d Hop Sing was out the door as his words hovered in hope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the time Ben had collected the needed supplies and was returning to Adam, Hoss and Little Joe were coming down the steps, both looking upset and angry. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d screamed Joe as he waved the letter from Adam that Ben had dropped by the bed. \u201cWhy are you making Adam leave? How can you do this when he just got back? And what\u2019s wrong with him, Pa? He\u2019s bleeding everywhere! Is he dying?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben laid the supplies on the table in front of the fireplace and held his youngest boy. \u201cJoseph, calm down. Adam has taken a turn for the worse and I\u2019m not sure why, and he isn\u2019t leaving. He\u2019s just confused right now but we\u2019ll work it all out when he\u2019s better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe slumped in Ben\u2019s arms as he sobbed, \u201cPlease don\u2019t let him go away again!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was still standing on the steps looking pale and frightened. Ben ordered, \u201cCome here Hoss,\u201d and he walked over to sit with his brother while his father paced in front of them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBoys, I will do whatever I can to help Adam through this, but I can\u2019t tend to him and you two at the same time. So I need you to help me out. Can you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Both heads nodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Hoss, I\u2019ll need you to hold the lamp over the bed so I can see what I\u2019m doing and Joseph, you will do any running that I need. Got it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa,\u201d promised Hoss while Joe indicated his agreement by nodding again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two pitched in as Ben tended to their brother. Hoss held the lamp and helped turn Adam to reinforce bandages and applied pressure where the bleeding was the worst while Joe ran up and down the stairs fetching more bandages and fresh water. Minutes passed like hours as they worked together until they finally heard the sound of the front door latch followed by footsteps on the stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul Martin stopped in the doorway, surveying the scene before him. Shocked at the upheaval in the room, the blood that was everywhere and the very pale patient, he muttered, \u201cWhat in heaven\u2019s name happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell doctor, we were hoping you could tell us,\u201d Ben\u2019s fear and fatigue were evidenced by his sardonic tone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStart from the beginning; tell me what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sighed, \u201cThere\u2019s not much to tell. Adam woke briefly, we talked and suddenly he just\u2026this.\u201d He indicated the mayhem around him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul began his examination while Ben was speaking, and soon gave his opinion. \u201cI think he\u2019s gone into a septic shock.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHis body is confused; it\u2019s going to war against itself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben stared dumbfounded, \u201cA few hours ago you said everything would be fine. What went wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul tried to explain, \u201cHe did seem fine, but it could be that he\u2019s reacting to a poison in the cactus spines, or some toxin could have worked into the cuts: maybe something in the dirt. Or it could even be a bite that he got during the day, and that\u2019s not even considering his sunburn.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand all these possibilities. Tell me what\u2019s happening in simple terms\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no science yet that adequately explains what\u2019s happening, but something went askew even as he appeared to be fine. Adam was exposed to something or it might be a combination of the fall, the cactus needles and the sunburn that put his body into a defensive posture. Sometimes a person\u2019s system just goes off-kilter. Right now it\u2019s overreacting to what he\u2019s gone through. He was seriously hurt, but not enough to account for what\u2019s happening now. His blood isn\u2019t clotting, and that can\u2019t go on without doing some damage. You must have felt his heart racing, and can see him struggling to breathe. I don\u2019t know how much you want to hear right now, but here\u2019s the truth: the longer this goes on, the more likely that his body will shut down, organ by organ, until finally his brain and heart stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPaul,\u201d Ben was shaken, \u201cPaul, how long? How long before we know whether this is going to pass or we start to see signs that it \u2026won\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. But\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what?\u201d No one breathed as they waited for an answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut there\u2019s nothing we can really do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben snapped into action. \u201cI can\u2019t accept that. We have to do something!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we keep doing what you started: stop the bleeding, give him fluids if we can, keep him warm and comfortable, and pray.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get going,\u201d Ben ordered the younger brothers to bed, knowing they wouldn\u2019t sleep, but now needing them out from underfoot. Hop sing joined Paul and Ben as they removed the soaked bandages and started over. Once that was done, they bundled him in blankets until he seemed as comfortable as possible. Ben sat beside him to wipe the perspiration from his face, then found his son\u2019s hand under the covers to hold onto.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Paul and the cook left the room for a break, Ben knelt on the floor where he could be at ear level to speak what had remained unsaid earlier. \u201cAdam, please stay. I\u2019ll listen more and holler less. I won\u2019t dismiss your ideas without explaining my rationale and giving you a chance for rebuttal. And when your thoughts do make sense, we\u2019ll give them a try. Your idea about moving the men around to get more timber down last week was brilliant. I was just embarrassed that I hadn\u2019t thought of it myself and feared you\u2019d realize I was getting old and addled. Forgive me for not trusting you. I think if there was a wrong thing to say at any point since you\u2019ve been back, I\u2019ve said it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben brought Adam\u2019s hand to his cheek and remained at his side, listening to the rasp of his breath.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had taken Little Joe to his room but since neither of them could sleep, they laid on his bed talking. \u201cHoss? Is Adam gonna die?\u201d questioned the nervous voice next to him in the dark.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNah, Little Joe. He\u2019s gonna be just fine. You\u2019ll see,\u201d Hoss reassured his little brother with more bravado than he felt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen if he\u2019s okay, do you think he\u2019s gonna leave again?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The burly 17-year-old reached in the dark and gave his 11-year-old brother a punch in the shoulder. \u201cWell, Joe, we just won\u2019t let that happen, will we?\u201d
\nChapter 8 \u2013 A New Day
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben longed for dawn. Things always seemed better in the morning and he expected that Adam would awaken from his stupor as the sun lit his room. Yet the sun rose and coursed across the sky while Paul Martin and Ben kept vigil in a room that remained still except for the labored breathing of the young man in the bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rest of the Ponderosa remained quiet as well. Little Joe and Hoss did chores to keep their minds off the situation in the house, while Hop Sing cooked meals that no one really wanted to eat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Day passed into night again with the only change being that Adam seemed to rest more comfortably. As the two weary men took a break, Ben felt confident enough to ask, \u201cPaul, is he going to make it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor shrugged. \u201cWe don\u2019t know what damage was done: whether there was internal bleeding too or if his organs were damaged by the toxins that caused the other symptoms we could see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d expect you tell me the truth, but you might have made it sound a little more optimistic.\u201d Ben broke into a grin. \u201cWhatever happens, thank you for your help. I would\u2019ve had a hard time getting through this without you.\u201d\u00a0 After a few moments, he added, \u201cI\u2019ve appreciated your help with\u2026everything. Before things went bad, Adam and I had time to speak, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d Paul pushed impatiently.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure whether he\u2019ll leave or stay, but we were able to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing brought a tray of food, ordering, \u201cYou men eat. Does no good if father and doctor get sick. Then you rest. I sit with missah Adam.\u201d With his order issued, he climbed the steps, giving a quick look back from the top to make sure his charges below were being obedient. To his relief they were both already sipping coffee and chewing on sandwiches.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing the pale, lifeless face of the child he\u2019d helped to raise, Hop Sing\u2019s heart fell. He sat and leaned in to speak softly, \u201cYou get well. Father and brothers need you,\u201d and after a pause, added, \u201cI miss you when gone. House and family not same without you. You get better, fix things with father. Be happy again.\u201d The man\u2019s title was cook, but he knew he was much more to this family. He recalled his time watching over the growing boys, fixing their scrapes, and protecting them from their father\u2019s anger at times. He had a special relationship with each son. Hoss snuck food and loved to watch him cook, excited to taste each new dish. Little Joe was full of life and plans, but impulsive\u2014the one with the most injuries to body and heart. But Adam was the one who talked to him: not about meals, or fights and bruises, but about life. He often used Hop Sing as a sounding board and was probably the first to hear that Adam wanted to leave the ranch to attend school in the East. He knew there\u2019d be fireworks but had encouraged him to trust his father. He\u2019d felt the same emptiness at Adam\u2019s leaving, and the same joy at his returning as the family had, and shared equal pride in the man that this boy had become. He felt the pain in the house now from both father and son and didn\u2019t know how to help, choosing instead to remain loyal to both men and let them work it out. Of course he\u2019d sent the occasional sharp look to Ben when he\u2019d heard him lecturing his son with that \u201cspecial tone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Deep in thought, Hop Sing didn\u2019t notice the flutter of eyelids or the glassy eyes that sought the familiar, but he did hear the soft moan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you awake. You need water, anything?\u201d A weak nod had Hop Sing with a glass to his lips in a flash. \u201cI get father.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, stay\u2026please. I need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou no talk. You rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was a hoarse whisper. \u201cWhat it was like here while I was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you ask that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think Pa forgot about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cook laughed but quickly quieted so others wouldn\u2019t hear. \u201cForgot you? Number one son never forgotten. When you leave, father have brave face that left when wagon was out of sight. Father very sad for long time after. Lose wife, lose son. In deep pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI knew he would be sad, but I had to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWas okay. No blame son. He want best for you. Each letter make happy for a time, then sad again. Father not nice when sad,\u201d he chuckled quietly, \u201cbut always very good man. Always remember son very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWas he sad the whole time?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSome sad all the time. But better. Got busy with ranch. Make big change to impress son. Worry later that son not want to come home. Then worry very much son would not stay. Worry, worry, worry, but happy son coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam tried to sit but could barely lift his head and lay back down. \u201cI\u2019ve been a fool. Never really told Pa how good the ranch looks, never mentioned the improvements and all the new things he\u2019s gotten. I just wanted him to listen to me; but I didn\u2019t listen to him either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI get father now. You rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam was sleeping by the time Paul and Ben got upstairs. A check of his pulse revealed a normal, steady rhythm. The clean bandages they\u2019d applied during the day were still unstained and his breathing was slow and even. \u201cI think he\u2019s going to make it Ben,\u201d Paul breathed out. \u201cBut I\u2019m not saying more until I see him up and dressed\u2026just to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here son. How do you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike I was trampled in a stampede of angry bulls. I can\u2019t remember much about it, so is that what actually happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d replied the doctor. \u201cI\u2019m just checking all the hoof prints now and then I\u2019ll get out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After Paul left the room, Adam began, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry Pa. I was angry that you didn\u2019t seem to pay attention to me, but I wasn\u2019t paying attention to you either. I should have told you how great the ranch looks, and that I noticed all the improvements: but I didn\u2019t, or at least not enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWater under the bridge, son; no apologies needed.\u201d After checking Adam\u2019s forehead for fever and finding it cool, Ben continued, \u201cI know you just woke up, but have you been thinking about when you plan to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I heard what you said when I was sleeping, or whatever that was I was doing: about hollering less and listening more. Do you think you can really do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always been good for a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you can honestly trust me to make decisions around here if I prove myself?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can do that. But I need to ask you something too. This ranch, all that we\u2019ve worked for, is all for you and your brothers someday. But I\u2019m not ready to give it up just yet, so can you accept that I won\u2019t like every suggestion you make and that I\u2019ll still be making the decisions?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben panicked as Adam groaned, laid his arm across his forehead and rolled his eyes back. \u201cPaul! Get back in here!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul rolled around the doorframe from the hall where he had been eavesdropping on the conversation, and said with mock disdain. \u201cAdam, that was the worst acting ever. I thought Ben said you did some Shakespeare in college. What did you play in that production, the part of the skull?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In confusion, Ben looked from Paul to Adam, who was now grinning. \u201cWhat was that all about?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to answer your question and figured you\u2019d go easier on me if you thought I was dying again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul laughed as he began to gather his things. \u201cI should be heading back to town now that the first born has made it back to the land of the living.\u201d As he slipped his arm into his coat sleeve, he remembered that Adam\u2019s note was still resting in the pocket. Removing it, he asked his patient, \u201cDo you want me to send this to San Francisco tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m assuming you showed it to Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doctor confessed, \u201cI thought it was important.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s strength was waning but understood that he had to make his decision before he could rest again. Looking toward his father, he asked, \u201cAny further thoughts, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe decision is yours and I\u2019ll support you no matter what it is. Just know that I hope you\u2019ll want to stay on here, at least for a few more years.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can send it, Paul\u2026\u201d Adam noticed the color drain from his father\u2019s face as he continued, \u201cin a few years when Pa and I have finished everything we need to try around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul laughed. \u201cI\u2019m glad you finished that or I\u2019d be treating your father for a heart attack. Now that this is settled, I want you to rest so I don\u2019t have to come out here again for a few days.\u201d He gave a final salute to father and son, turning back once more at the door. \u201cWelcome home Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The end<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Adam’s return from college has Ben saying and doing everything wrong, with no clue as to\u00a0why he’s acting that way, yet unable to make any adjustments in his behavior to stop the building crisis. The tension in the house comes to a head as Adam is severely injured in a fall and Ben finds out that his son has made plans to leave the ranch and take a job as an engineer in San Francisco. As Adam’s condition unexpectedly worsens, Ben finds the right words to say, but fears it may be too late to make a difference. Paul Martin and Hop Sing play important roles in easing these two powerful Cartwrights back together. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC \u00a09200<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":5758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1016,23,41,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-pa","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","wpcat-1016-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Adams-English-Scenic2.jpg?fit=450%2C436&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/82"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6457"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6457\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}