{"id":6489,"date":"2014-05-04T11:45:31","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T15:45:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6489"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:12:26","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:12:26","slug":"sunny-with-a-chance-of-rain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6489","title":{"rendered":"Sunny, With a Chance of Rain (by MissJudy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>A stage crash has killed everyone on board…including Adam Cartwright. While Paul Martin has made a “best guess ID” of the “remains,” and even though Adam’s most personal possessions were found in the wreckage, Ben refuses to believe it is Adam. Hoss and Joe begin a journey of discovery with their father as a mystery develops that includes another man in black, attempts at blackmail and the eventual acceptance of what seems ovious – that Adam is gone. It becomes the story of two families facing the loss of a child and a woman whose care of a deathly ill stranger\u00a0may restore one of these families to completeness.<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0T \u00a0WC \u00a045,000<\/span><\/p>\n

Story Notes:<\/b><\/p>\n

I wrote this as writer\u2019s challenge piece a few years ago. Since it was written, we have lost the man who was the inspiration for Adam. Losing him was like losing a piece of my heart and I still mourn the loss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ll alert you to the fact that there are sad scenes in this story. But I think you will appreciate those parts too. I rewrote one particular scene as a tribute to Pernell Roberts, as well as Adam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are links to the songs that I\u2019ve used within the story, at the end. Scroll down if you\u2019d like to hear them while reading. The versions I\u2019ve linked to have special meaning to the story or the man who inspired it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thanks:<\/strong>\u00a0This story was the first that I ever allowed another person to read and critique, and thank Sandspur for being my first, and always, Beta reader. She is a kind a generous woman who teaches as she critiques. I have learned so much from her!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Many thanks to any of you who choose to continue on and read this story.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny, With a Chance of Rain<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Prologue: Even Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The retching started again, making him desperately try to eject what might be lingering in his empty stomach, while intestinal cramps clawed at his insides like a suffocating vine attaching itself to everything under his skin. \u201cHow long can this go on,\u201d he moaned, trying to make sense of what was happening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His left arm dragged along uselessly encased in its ragged black sleeve, creating shockwaves of pain. He inched along the ground, pushing with leg muscles that felt like jelly, and pulled with what little strength was left in his good arm. His clothing was wet and he was so cold that he couldn\u2019t stop shivering; further hampering his progress. And adding to his misery was the agony of pain in every part of his body that still worked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Although he was aware of all these things, he couldn\u2019t conceptualize what it was he should do about any of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Had a coat<\/em>, he thought.\u00a0Where is it?<\/em>\u00a0Looking around he remembered again that there was nothing there: No coat, no horse, no gun\u2026no anything. It felt as if he\u2019d been dropped on this spot by some avenging bird after it had picked away at his carcass and found nothing left of interest. He kept asking himself the same question: \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He found some comfort in the thought that maybe he was in the midst of a nightmare and would awaken. But another excruciating cramp ripped through his body making it all too clear that this was not a dream. He cried out, \u201cTo you I call, O Lord my rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help.\u201d*<\/p>\n

A gentle breeze rustled the early blooming branches of the trees overhead as the sound of his plea settled to the earth in silence. All other sounds of nature ceased as well, as if to honor the death it would soon witness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat behind his massive desk absently caressing the deep patina of the wood. This sturdy piece of furniture had become a symbol for the man himself: Strong, aged with a glow of polish and hard use, and unmoving when all around it seemed to change. Those who asked about it usually assumed it was one solid piece. Adam, who had helped Ben choose it and get it home, would tell the tale of putting wheels under it and pulling it home with a four-hitch of horses. He took great relish in completing the story with, \u201cWe got it to this spot, set it down and built the house around it.\u201d If a person didn\u2019t know Adam well enough to notice the upturn of his right brow and the slight bow in his lips while speaking, they believed the story to be true and would admire the desk in amazement. As Adam was not one to ruin the effect of his illusion, he would never admit to his ruse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In reality, the desk was three pieces consisting of the large, one-piece top and two pedestals containing the drawers. It was a formidable piece of furniture, but it could be moved quite easily, if need be. Ben always imagined that it was like his family\u2014separate parts that supported the weight of the Ponderosa: Stronger together than they would be as individual pieces.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While Ben\u2019s purpose this day was to add receipts into the ranch\u2019s ledger, he was having trouble concentrating as his feet tapped a rhythm of impatience on the wood floor. His eldest was already two days late returning from an extended time away keeping Ben uneasy, even if not exactly worried.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had spent the winter months working with Frankie, a friend from college. Frankie\u2019s San Francisco engineering firm had invited Adam to participate in formulating a groundbreaking proposal for California\u2019s capital city. After enduring several floods that nearly wiped out the embarcadero and waterfront buildings, the Sacramento city fathers committed their resources to redesigning the area to prevent the routine devastation experienced when the American and Sacramento Rivers crested after heavy rains or melt-offs in the Sierras. Frankie\u2019s company proposed a plan that would actually bury the first story of all the buildings along the riverfront, effectively raising the ground level of the city by more than twelve feet. This would require all businesses to relocate their entrances to the second floor, and meant all the roads and sidewalks in the area had to be re-laid. It was an engineering nightmare while also being a once-in-a-lifetime challenge that Adam couldn\u2019t wait to get his hands on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s pencil took over the release of nervous energy by tapping on the blotter as he recalled his hardheadedness that had almost forced Adam to leave the Ponderosa for Frankie\u2019s firm when his son had first returned from college. Leaning back, he laughed to himself about the evening Adam sat across from him at this same desk presenting his very reasoned plan that Hoss and Joe could handle the work on the ranch for a few months, leaving him free to get away. He\u2019d been so serious that Ben had felt compelled to put up a good act while Adam made his case. But the truth was that he had known that Adam would go from the moment he received the invitation. Ben felt that if he had put up any real resistance to this brief absence he risked losing Adam for good. Of course he had worried that Adam might not want to return after getting the taste of a different lifestyle, but it was too big an opportunity to keep his son from experiencing. He had subsequently breathed much easier after receiving\u00a0Adam\u2019s\u00a0telegram confirming\u00a0his arrival home on the Tuesday stage in the first week of April.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unfortunately spring weather often held up the eastbound stages and Ben figured a late snow or rain had turned the roads to the consistency of oatmeal or made the creeks impassable, causing Adam\u2019s delay. Ben\u2019s impatient state today was fueled by his desire to see his son again and hear about the project he had been reading about in the San Francisco Chronicle. Adam\u2019s name had been mentioned in several articles as being one of the young engineers working out the feasibility of the project for Sacramento. Ben was bursting with pride over Adam\u2019s accomplishments, but had practical reasons for wanting his son home too. Before he had gone away, Adam and Ben had laid some groundwork of their own for future projects and updates on the ranch. Ben was now getting anxious to come to a final decision on which ones to tackle, and wanted Adam\u2019s input before moving forward.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Refocusing on his ledger, Ben began to work at his figures and was actually making progress when his head shot to attention at the sound of horses entering the yard. Clearing the books and papers from his desk first, Ben made it to the door in time to see Roy Coffee dismounting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Could Anything Be Worse<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Roy, good to see you. What brings you out this way?\u201d Making his way over to Roy with his hand extended for a welcoming shake, Ben noticed that Sport was standing on the other side of the Sheriff\u2019s horse. \u201cOh, good! You rode out with Adam.\u201d Wearing a confused expression, he added, \u201cWhere did he go off to already?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen,\u201d Roy began, \u201cAdam\u2019s not here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I can see that.\u201d Ben laughed as he slapped Roy\u2019s shoulder and shook his hand. \u201cHoss and Little Joe will be in for lunch soon, so of course you\u2019ll stay and celebrate Adam\u2019s return.\u201d Ben\u2019s questioning look returned as he asked again, \u201cWhere\u00a0did<\/em>\u00a0Adam go?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen,\u201d Roy began again. \u201cAdam isn\u2019t home. I just brought his horse to the ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face and shoulders dropped. \u201cWe left Adam\u2019s horse at the livery so he could get home. He was due in Tuesday, but since he didn\u2019t arrive, we figured it would be easier to just leave Sport in town to use whenever he got in. It\u2019s not a problem, we\u2019ll ride into town tomorrow in case he makes it then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen\u2026\u201d Roy tried again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute; you still haven\u2019t said why you came all the way out here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell never mind, you will still stay and have lunch and can tell us all about it then.\u201d Ben turned and began walking toward the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen!\u201d Roy finally commanded. \u201cLet\u2019s stop the verbal two-step so I can tell you why I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Ben laughed, stopping in his tracks and turned again toward Roy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen, Adam is not coming home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about, Roy? Is there a problem that\u2019s delaying him longer?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice intoned the concern that his body language was beginning to show as well. Hands on his hips, he stared Roy down with the same determination he would use to face a gunfighter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBen,\u201d Roy tried again and had to stop as his voice broke.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, suppose you just say what you need to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Roy was about to speak, Hoss and Joe rode into the yard and called a greeting to Roy. Spotting\u00a0his oldest brother’s horse, Joe began hollering. \u201cAdam! Hey Adam, get out here you old coyote!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cQuiet boys,\u201d Ben ordered more harshly than he intended. \u201cRoy has come out with news of Adam. It seems he\u2019s not arrived in Virginia City yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s all go into the house, so as I can tell you what\u2019s happened,\u201d Roy suggested. Looks and shrugs were exchanged between Hoss and Joe as they followed the two older men inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing was told to hold lunch until they were finished and once everyone was seated, Roy began laying out the news he had come to give them. \u201cBen, boys,\u201d he said as he nodded to each of them, \u201cIt grieves my heart to say this, but the Tuesday stage that Adam was on went off the canyon road and rolled down an embankment. The Nelsons spotted the wreck at the bottom of the ravine about 6 miles outside Virginia City on their way to town late yesterday. I got some men together right away and we rode out to the site. There was a lot to take care of and we brought back what we could, but it took all night, and this is the soonest I could get here.\u201d Roy paused for a moment, unable to say the words that he knew would tear this family to bits. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Ben; there were no survivors.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose in silence, walked over and leaned his arm on the massive hearth. \u201cI want to see my son. Where is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They took the bodies over to Doc Martin\u2019s for identification, but Ben, there\u2019s something else you need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe spoke up, his voiced husky with grief, \u201cWhat do we need to know, Roy? You already told us what we need to know. Could anything be worse than hearing that Adam is dead?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBoys, this ain\u2019t easy for me either and I feel just cold inside having to tell you these things. But I\u2019ve got to tell you the truth about it\u2026the coach rolled repeatedly, which alone was enough to kill those poor souls, but \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut what,\u201d Hoss said with a cold, hard edge.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut since they weren\u2019t found for almost two days, they attracted the wild animals that roam those canyons.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d Ben queried softly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt means that making a positive identification based on the body is going to be impossible. They are unrecognizable.\u201d The worst of it was out, and Roy\u00a0finally\u00a0relaxed his jaw and took a deep breath before he continued. \u201cDoc Martin is waiting for\u00a0us to come and make an ID based on personal belongings.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy rose and moved toward the door, suggesting they head out as soon as possible. He had been through so many emotions over the last 24 hours that his spirit felt as dead as the bodies he had delivered to Paul Martin. Being a sheriff garnered its share of respect if a lawman was worthy of it, and Roy was good at his job. His best days were those that brought moments of satisfaction. But days like today\u2014when he delivered the worst of news to the best of people\u2014were the ones that he could easily walk away from without a look back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The three Cartwright men rose in silence and followed, stopping only to retrieve the hats, coats and guns that were always by the door. Hoss finally spoke. \u201cI\u2019ll tell Hop Sing what\u2019s going on. Guess none of us have much of an appetite right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss exited the side door of the house after speaking to their cook and joined his father and brother as they mounted their horses and solemnly turned them toward Virginia City<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

A Man of Habit<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, I want to see my son,\u201d Ben demanded as the Cartwright family walked into the doctor\u2019s office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo you don\u2019t Ben. You don\u2019t want to remember Adam that way. It was nearly more than I could handle.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut how can I be sure if I don\u2019t see him?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t know for sure even if you did see him, Ben,\u201d Paul offered with profound sadness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen how do you know it\u2019s him? Did you see the scar above his lip, or find any of the other things that made him\u2014Adam?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice had taken on an almost panicked tone, yet it was tinged with such devastation that those in the room could feel as much as hear what he said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy led Ben to a chair, and along with Paul began to tell him what evidence pointed toward it being Adam\u2019s body in the wreckage. Hoss and Little Joe hovered nearby, giving their father room to breathe and sort through what the others were saying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul seemed confident enough as he began, \u201cHere are the facts Ben. Adam was the only male passenger listed on the leg from Sacramento to Virginia City and there was only one male body recovered other than the stage driver. That body is consistent with Adam\u2019s general appearance. He had dark hair, and as much as I\u2019d like to say I found things that didn\u2019t point to Adam\u2026\u201d Paul had to sit down at this point. His shoulders slumped with the weariness and sadness he felt, and he looked away a few moments to compose himself before completing his description, \u201cAs I was saying, I could neither find confirming nor refutable evidence that it was Adam, because\u2026 the body was too\u2026\u201d Paul hoped Ben was getting the picture. How could he voice the truth that would surely haunt his dreams for nights to come? How did\u00a0he tell a parent that their child had been so badly ravaged by the accident and feeding frenzy of hungry wild animals that there was little left to identify? The truth was that Paul couldn\u2019t, and he simply concluded, \u201cOverall, the man is a match for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey might have picked up another passenger on the way,\u201d Hoss interjected. \u201cThey often find people waiting at the way stations and don\u2019t add them to the roster until they reach the next city.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a possibility, Hoss, but the only luggage on the stage belonged to the woman passenger and Adam,\u201d Roy answered, before directing his attention back to Paul. \u201cDoc, please show us the personal effects from the body.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul brought out a few things; boots, a belt, and black pants and shirt, both shredded and stained dark with blood. Showing Ben the shirt, Paul pointed to the tag asking, \u201cIsn\u2019t that your laundry mark? I think Hop Sing uses a version of your brand to mark clothes he brings into his cousin\u2019s laundry here in town, right?\u201d After a moment to let this fact register, Paul added, \u201cThe pants have the same mark, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben simply nodded his agreement as he examined the shirt tag, but then said more hopefully, \u201cI don\u2019t recall Adam having boots like those.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy spoke up again. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to go through Adam\u2019s bag, Ben, but had to do it. I think maybe he bought those work boots in Sacramento, since he had the ones he usually wore in his satchel.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe was the next to make a suggestion. \u201cIs that all there was, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy produced a cloth bag from behind Paul\u2019s desk. \u201cWe also found these items at the site, but they weren\u2019t on the body.\u201d He continued sadly, \u201cI think you\u2019ll recognize them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe walked across the room, opened the bag and felt his heart meet his boot tops as he withdrew Adam\u2019s yellow coat, wallet, and finally his gun\u2014still holstered. \u201cWhy wasn\u2019t he wearing these things?\u201d he asked of no one in particular.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss\u00a0moved over\u00a0to Joe,\u00a0also realizing that these were his older brother\u2019s possessions. \u201cShucks, Joe, ya know Adam. He usually took his gun belt off and laid it on his lap when he tried to get comfortable on the stage. Same with his coat: I can see him rolling it up behind him to make his back feel better. Adam was a man of habit, Joe, and those were his ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All eyes in the room turned to watch as Ben walked to the table with Adam\u2019s earthly goods and picked up the yellow coat. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s Adam,\u201d he repeated. \u201cI would feel my son\u2019s death\u2014and I feel nothing. It just can\u2019t be him.\u201d Ben laid the coat on the table, walked out the door and sat down on Paul\u2019s steps, sheltering his aching head in his hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

News of the stagecoach crash had spread like wildfire through Virginia City with everyone already seeming to know that one of the\u00a0victims was Adam Cartwright. Those who saw Ben sitting there, looking as if his world had just collapsed, would soon be spreading the word that \u201cYep, it was Ben Cartwright\u2019s boy alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The door to Paul\u2019s office opened quietly and Hoss exited and sat next to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re the one who drew the short straw and had to come out and tell me to be reasonable?\u201d Ben asked his middle son without raising his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNaw, Pa. It ain\u2019t like that at all. I just don\u2019t want you sitting out here alone. Pa\u2026\u201d Hoss faltered. \u201cPa, I can see as how this is hard to accept. I don\u2019t want it to be Adam either! But so far, there\u2019s more says it was him than that it weren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben raised his head, looking directly into his son\u2019s eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t care how convincing the evidence is. Until I can make sure, I refuse to believe that that body in there is his!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss laid his arm across his father\u2019s back. \u201cAwright, Pa. If you need more proof, then we\u2019ll find it. Maybe we need to ride with Roy to the crash site and see if there\u2019s something that he and them fellers missed. Maybe we\u2019ll all be able to rest easier then; one way or t\u2019other.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Getting Warm<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Was he dreaming? He was warm and he heard the sound of a woman\u2019s voice humming as she washed dishes. Something about the clink of plates and silverware brought comfort even as he lay there without the strength to open his eyes or speak. And the smell of food! At first the aroma made his mouth water, but without warning, he was seized by a stomach cramp so powerful it caused him to curl into a ball in an attempt to control the pain. He could hear the woman\u2019s soothing voice saying to breathe deeply; the pain would pass. He felt hands rubbing his shoulders and then easing him onto his back again as the cramping dissipated. A cool cloth patted the sweat from his face and neck and was left on his forehead as he heard the voice telling him it would get better and for him to rest. He tried to lift his head, but it was like an anvil attached to his neck and the effort left him so exhausted that he relaxed in the warmth, and drifted toward the darkness again.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

When The Heart Ain\u2019t Bein\u2019 Truthful<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben leaned on his saddle horn while inspecting the side of the road where the stagecoach had plunged into the canyon. Turning his attention to his sons, he asked, \u201cLittle Joe, you and Hoss rode farther up the road; what do you think happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d say the coach was running without the driver.\u201d Pointing down the road, he continued, \u201cThe tracks sway back and forth across the road for miles.\u201d Drawing everyone\u2019s attention to spot Ben had noted, he continued, \u201cThen the wheels just catch the soft dirt at the side there. Once that happened it went over and there was no way the horses could pull it back up.\u201d After allowing the others to picture what was happening moments before his brother died, Joe concluded sadly, \u201cThe weight of the coach just pulled everything over with it. I can\u2019t see that happening if someone had control.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss removed his hat and scratched his head while adding, \u201cI agree with Joe. There\u2019s no signs showin\u2019 damage to an axle and them tracks run true with no sign of a wheel bein\u2019 damaged or missin\u2019. That coach was weavin\u2019 a tight pattern so I\u2019d say it was travelin\u2019 fast and there ain\u2019t a sign that the wheel brake was ever applied to help slow the durned thing. Like Joe says, them horses and coach, well they was just all over the place until they left the road for good. It leaves me truly puzzled.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked to Roy. \u201cWhat do you make of it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI came to the same conclusions as your boys, Ben. I wired the Wells Fargo office in San Francisco about the accident, and they confirmed that there was no gold or money being transported. We found the mail still inside the coach and even Adam\u2019s wallet held a good amount of cash, so there\u2019s no evidence that they were being run down by thieves. I had to get the bodies back to town yesterday, but intend on riding to Goat Springs to ask a few questions. Maybe Toby can shed some light on what might have gone wrong or know something that happened before they set out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think Wells Fargo will send investigators?\u201d Ben asked with interest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo. We recovered what we could; the coach is a total loss and the horses\u2019 carcasses were taken away already so there\u2019s no reason to come out. I figure they\u2019ll attribute it some act of God and just put a new stage on the route.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose we should go down and take a closer look,\u201d Ben sighed as he dismounted Buck, tied him to a bush and headed down the steep slope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The others followed, each dreading what they might find, while simultaneously fearing they would learn nothing more than they already knew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After touring the scene, Roy pointed out, \u201cThere\u2019s no evidence that anyone else came or left here exceptin\u2019 for us yesterday. There\u2019s nothing to show anything but that the coach came over the side and rolled down here with the passengers and possessions ending up scattered nearby.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben dropped to one knee at the spot Roy indicated Adam had been found. Reaching out, he put his hand to the ground in a reverent gesture. The boys noted that as Ben\u2019s arm came up, it wiped across his eyes and it broke their hearts; their exchanged look indicating that neither knew what to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo, Ben, are you able to accept that it was Adam now that you\u2019ve come here?\u201d asked Roy with real concern for his friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou will think I\u2019m crazy,\u201d Ben responded as he looked up at the three of them, \u201cBut while I feel the misery of death here, I don\u2019t feel my son\u2019s death.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe went to his father as he rose, imploring him, \u201cPa, there were three people on the stage. One of them was Adam. Three people have been found, one wearing Adam\u2019s clothes and surrounded by Adam\u2019s personal things. How much clearer can it be? I know this is hard, Pa, but it\u2019s just going to be harder if you keep denying it.\u201d Tears began to cascade from Joe\u2019s eyes, prompting Ben to reach out for his grieving son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben soothed and looked at Hoss as well, \u201cI know it\u2019s hard for you to understand, but this family has been through so much together, that when I think of any of you, I can feel you in here.\u201d Ben brought his hand to his chest as he continued, \u201cIt may sound foolish, but it\u2019s real to me. I usually feel when you boys are in trouble well before I know it. All I know is that I\u2019m standing here where Adam supposedly died, and the connection is still there. I accept that the evidence points to Adam being dead, but my heart tells me something else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was unable to meet Ben\u2019s eyes,\u00a0so\u00a0he stared at the ground while bringing up the issue weighing most heavily in his mind. \u201cI think we can understand your doubts, Pa, but we got some unfinished business. That body, whether it\u2019s Adam or not, has got to be laid to rest, and it don\u2019t seem right to put it off any longer.\u201d After a pause, he raised his head, looking directly at\u00a0his father as he\u00a0added, \u201cPa, sometimes a heart can play miserable tricks on the mind. If we want somethin\u2019 to be real or true, I reckon our minds can convince us it\u2019s so because our heart ain\u2019t bein\u2019 truthful.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Watching his friends struggle with this tragedy, Roy suggested, \u201cSuppose we go back to town and make arrangements for the burials. We don\u2019t have to put a name on the grave just yet and can move the remains to the Ponderosa should we get evidence that proves to Ben that it\u2019s Adam. Then we\u2019ll head out and ask some questions to help put this to rest.\u201d Roy scuffed his boot in the dirt, creating a dust cloud around his feet. He thought this pretty descriptive of the cloud he felt in his mind, admitting to the others, \u201cThere\u2019s a big part of me that wants to prove this wasn\u2019t Adam, although my gut tells me otherwise. But we can take this a little further to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The men made their way back up the hill and mounted up. Hoss and Little Joe hung back as they rode and began to talk in hushed voices.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was the first to say it. \u201cJoe, do you think Pa is right? That it ain\u2019t Adam, I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what to think right now Hoss, but I do know Pa, so anything is possible. Personally, even though it makes me sadder than I\u2019ve ever been, I think our brother is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMe too, Joe\u2026me too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Small Victories<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This time he willed his eyes to open even though his head remained nailed to the pillow. Except for the throbbing in his shoulder and the dull ache everywhere else, he felt pretty comfortable.\u00a0You can do it<\/em>, he urged himself.\u00a0That\u2019s right, one eye open. Yes! And now the other one.\u00a0<\/em>His eyes were shut more quickly than he\u2019d gotten them open, as the dazzling sunshine blinded him.\u00a0Damn,<\/em>\u00a0he thought to himself,\u00a0let\u2019s try that again a little more slowly.\u00a0<\/em>This time he opened them gradually, adjusting to the brightness, until at last he could see that he was off to the side of a large room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There seemed to be no one there and for a moment he felt a cold panic slip under the warm covers with him. He calmed himself by remembering the voice he had heard the last time he awoke. And he knew he\u2019d heard the same voice talking to him, encouraging him to wake up, to take sips of liquids and calling him, what was it? Oh yeah, \u201cSonny.\u201d Turning his head he could see that he was in the main room of a house, modest in its furnishings, but comfortable looking. There was an overstuffed chair near the fireplace where the man of the house probably sat and a smaller straight back upholstered chair for the wife. The room was neat, cozy and smelled of lavender and fresh baked bread. A try at raising his head was rewarded with an inch or two of space forming between it and the pillow. \u201cAh,\u201d he spoke softly. \u201cSmall victories.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a rush of fresh air as the door opened and a tall, middle-aged woman shoved through carrying a basket of clean clothes. He noted her blond hair was pulled back and clipped away from her face, but flowed loose down her back, uncharacteristic of the buns and topknot styles that older women used. She was humming again. This time the tune was familiar.\u00a0Amazing Grace?<\/em>\u00a0He thought.\u00a0Yes, that\u2019s it, Amazing Grace. I love that song; except for the time I sang it at a funeral for\u2014someone.\u00a0<\/em>He tried to remember whose funeral it was: feeling it was someone he knew well. But the memory would not gel and he moved past it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have a lovely voice,\u201d he offered quietly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her progress toward the kitchen table was halted abruptly as she swung around to look at the open eyes of her patient. \u201cPraise God! You\u2019re alive!\u201d she cried as she dropped the basket and rushed to grab a chair, pulling it to the side of his bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou weren\u2019t expecting me to be?\u201d he asked in shock. \u201cI mean\u2026you were expecting me to die?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Sonny, I wasn\u2019t expecting much from you when I found you. Fact is, I brought you home so as I could bury you rightly when you passed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man looked at the warm, comforting eyes of the woman next to him. She was in a gingham dress that pulled in around a slim waist and nice shape for a woman her age. Her skin was colored with the glow of early spring and she smelled like fresh air and sunshine. Looking into her eyes he asked with some hope, \u201cMa\u2019am, could you explain what you meant when you said you found me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, dear me.\u201d The woman struggled to explain. \u201cMaybe we need to start from the beginning. How\u2019s that sound? But wait, lets get some broth into you while you\u2019re awake. You need nourishment or you won\u2019t stay alive long.\u201d The woman walked quickly to the kitchen area, grabbed a cup and ladled in a rich brown broth. She laughed heartily as she resumed her thoughts. \u201cNow wait, that didn\u2019t come out right, did it?\u201d She laughed again as she sat and supported the young man\u2019s head a bit to sip the broth. \u201cI don\u2019t mean you\u2019re gonna die now.\u201d Her cheeks turned red as she continued to raise the cup to his lips until the broth was gone. \u201cHow was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His stomach lurched at first, but settled again as the broth began to warm and fill his emptiness. \u201cIt\u2019s very good. Thank you,\u201d he breathed as he settled his head back down onto the pillow. \u201cCould you tell me now how I came to be here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s see. I think we should stick with the short version of it all for now.\u201d Rising, she took the cup to the kitchen area and returned to sit next to the anxious looking man in the bed. \u201cI was on my way home from Virginia City three days ago\u2014that would have been Thursday\u2014when I decided to stop for water from the mountain stream that flows so sweet this time of year. I grabbed a bucket and headed over that way. You almost caused my heart to stop when I moved away some pine boughs at the edge of the water and found you layin\u2019 there under them. You were a sight! Shoulder was dislocated and you looked like you\u2019d been in a brawl; there was so many bruises. And worst of all was that you were just mightily sick. I truly thought you were dead since you were so pale white sickly lookin\u2019 and cold to the touch. But then your eyes opened! I couldn\u2019t leave you there. Figured there was a nice face under all them whiskers and bruises, so I brought you on along even though at the time I thought I\u2019d be putting you in a grave instead of talking to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you? I\u2019d like to thank you by name.\u201d he asked, embarrassed briefly as he remembered the internal agony he had been in and realized that he must have been an awful mess when she found him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie Sullivan\u2019s the name. Been livin\u2019 here about 10 years now and I ain\u2019t never found anything like you before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie laughed in her natural, lively way again, leaving the young man feeling comfortable and somehow safe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When her patient didn\u2019t offer any further information, she asked, \u201cAnd who might you be?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026\u201d The young man paused as his brow furrowed and his look went from anxious to confused. \u201cMa\u2019am, truth is I can\u2019t recall my name, and not much else other than being sick, freezing cold and in pain\u2014and then waking up in this house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie laughed again as she patted the man\u2019s arm. \u201cI don\u2019t mean to be makin\u2019 light of your situation Sonny, but I\u2019ve seen men with far fewer injuries than you got not able to remember much, so it doesn\u2019t surprise me that with that knot on your head and all the other bodily grief you\u2019ve been through, you\u2019re having a problem rememberin\u2019. Just relax. I\u2019ve seen folks come out of it in hours while others never remember. But I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be fine if you just let it come naturally without pokin\u2019 at it. So how\u2019s this sound for now. I\u2019ve been calling you Sonny so\u2019s I wouldn\u2019t be sayin\u2019 \u2018hey you\u2019 all the time and I\u2019ll just keep doing that until you tell me otherwise. Deal?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDeal.\u201d Sonny\u2019s eyes changed from golden brown to a brooding almost black as he fought the fear that began to rise from his gut. \u201cYou\u2019re sure I\u2019ll remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cupping his face in her hands, she looked directly into his eyes. \u201cNothing is sure Sonny. But I\u2019ve seen it happen. And for those who want to remember, it seems to come back in time. But there are those who have so much to forget that this is like being born again. We\u2019ll have to wait and see what side of the line you stand on.\u201d She stood looking down at him, and finished, \u201cI\u2019m right glad you\u2019re alive and gettin\u2019 better, Sonny. It\u2019s been powerful lonely around here since Hiram passed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s about you start calling me Josie? I ain\u2019t used to being called ma\u2019am and it makes me feel old; right older than I actually am.\u201d Josie noted that he smiled at this and then decided to go ahead with the doctoring she had to do. \u201cWell Sonny, this isn\u2019t goin\u2019 to feel too comfy, but we\u2019ve got to get you off your back for a spell. I\u2019ll roll you towards me onto your good shoulder and stick some pillows behind your back. It\u2019ll hurt like h–\u201d She caught herself and blushed, \u201cWell it\u2019ll hurt. Let\u2019s leave it at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it!\u201d he growled as he felt Josie\u2019s strength behind his back lifting him onto his side. \u201cSorry about that, Josie,\u201d he offered his nurse in clipped breaths, \u201cJust wasn\u2019t expecting that much pain, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo worries, Sonny, I\u2019ve heard all the cursin\u2019 the world has to offer in my day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, is there anyone else here? You mentioned a Hiram passing, and I\u2019m guessing he was your husband, but what I\u2019m asking is how you got me here? Although after the way you just moved me, I think I already know the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m as strong as a bull, and being built on tall side of feminine, I\u2019ve always been able to do a man\u2019s lifting.\u201d She stood tall and her face took on a faraway look. \u201cYou might not know it to see me now, Sonny, but I can be quite a looker when I fix myself up some. Half the men on the Barbary Coast were in love with me when I worked there.\u201d Josie shook her head to clear the memories and then continued, \u201cThat\u2019s where Hiram found me; singin\u2019 at a saloon in San Francisco,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie looked to see if Sonny\u2019s face registered shock or disdain, but found only a smile. \u201cThank you for that Sonny. Life is a journey, and sometimes that journey drops us on the Barbary Coast with few choices for making a dime to eat on, and sometimes it drops us on the banks of a snowmelt creek. We just have to move forward from where we fall. I\u2019m neither proud nor ashamed of what I had to do in the past, and Hiram accepted me for who he thought I was, not what I was doin\u2019.\u201d Sitting again, Josie continued as her eyes took on a shimmer, \u201cHiram married me and brought me here, Sonny. Taught me to hunt, fish and run a trap line. He made me drive the wagon, learn how to plow and plant the fields, and ride a horse on a man\u2019s saddle instead of one of those ridiculous leg busting female types. And when Hiram died a couple years back, I just kept doing what he taught me. In that I have pride.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny had regained a state of near pain-free comfort in his new position and offered, \u201cJosie, most people who suffer, do so in the shadow of their own despair. I don\u2019t know all that you\u2019ve gone through, but it sounds like you\u2019ve made the best of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s face brightened as she rose. \u201cThank you young man. You certainly put the pink in my cheeks today.\u201d While rearranging his blankets to make sure Sonny was tucked in, Josie recalled what she\u2019d heard a few days earlier in town. \u201cSay, Sonny, I just remembered something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s\u2026that?\u201d Sonny was drifting away but fought to regain enough focus to hear what Josie had to say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I found you on my way back from Virginia City. I go there each spring to sell my pelts and pick up supplies, and then pamper myself for a couple of nights in the hotel before headin\u2019 home. While I was there, news was circulatin\u2019 of a stage crash out this way with those aboard being killed. I was in Virginia City the day they brought those poor souls to town. The one death causing the most stir was an Adam Cartwright, the son of a leading citizen of the area. The word of it was spreading fast and the town was in a heavy sorrow over the news. It seems right coarse to say it, but the day I found you, I thought that you could be anyone, exceptin\u2019 this Adam Cartwright.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI guess that makes sense. If I\u2019m still alive, and this Adam is dead, then I can\u2019t be him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Quiet descended in the room as Josie walked back to retrieve her laundry basket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny\u2019s eyes reopened as he posed a question. \u201cJosie, did you say there was a stage wreck?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSaw the remains of it on the way home. Looked like it ran off the road and went down into a ravine. I actually pulled my wagon onto the siding so as not to disturb the tracks of the stage. Figured it would be helpful to be able to see the path it took.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd where did you find me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, about 8 or 10 miles further away from there. I have to admit, I wondered if you weren\u2019t on that stage, but the wreck seemed too distant and you were in far too bad a condition to have wandered that far from it. The two tragedies must have been single in nature even though they seem to be a great coincidence. Figured you musta been sick and got throwed from your horse.\u201d She paused and then asked, \u201cYou rememberin\u2019 somethin\u2019, Sonny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny was drifting to sleep as he mumbled, \u201cSeems to me I was on a stage, but don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d His voice trailed off as his lids became too heavy to stay open.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie busied herself with folding the items she had taken off the line. Setting her heavy iron on the hot stove to heat, she laid out several layers of fabric on the table and prepared to press the fresh sheets and clothing in the basket. Grabbing a pair of black pants from the pile, she dipped her hand into a bowl of water and sprinkled the fabric to help release the wrinkles. With all at the ready she grabbed the hot iron and began pressing. With the pants finished, she turned to check that Sonny was sleeping, and withdrew a black shirt from the basket. She shook her head while examining the strange mark on the collar tag\u2014the same mark that had been in the pants. \u201cLooks like a scrawny pine tree,\u201d she said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ashes to Ashes, Dust- to- Dust<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The morning after their ride to the crash site, Little Joe and Hoss were standing in the minister\u2019s office at the church in Virginia City wishing they were anywhere but there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet me see if I\u2019ve got this right,\u201d remarked Pastor Davis. \u201cYou want me to preside over the burial of three people today, one of the deceased \u2018perhaps\u2019 being Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe screwed up his face in a smiling grimace and attempted to explain. \u201cYou probably heard about the stage wreck earlier in the week. Well, there was a young lady named Nancy Portland on board. She worked at the Virginia City Saloon and was returning from visiting one of the girls who used to work here. From what we know of Nancy, she has no family or at least none nearby to claim her body or bury her. The stage driver was Hank Moss, who has no family that the stage line can find, and the third body may be Adam, but Pa isn\u2019t ready to give up on our brother just yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss took over from there, \u201cWe know they all deserve a decent service, but right now we just need to lay them to rest and are hopin\u2019 you\u2019ll say a few words over them when we do that. Pa says we\u2019ll have a real funeral for everyone in a few days after we finish investigatin\u2019 what actually happened.\u201d Hoss stood rotating his hat brim through his hands as he always did when nervous or upset; finally finishing his thought. \u201cSo, Pastor Davis, do you reckon you can help us out today?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Watching as Joe shuffled from one foot to the other and Hoss worked his hat until Pastor Davis was afraid he\u2019d wear a hole in the felt, the preacher understood what a tough time the brothers were having with this situation. He was aware that the town was in full agreement that the third body found was Adam\u2019s, and no one could figure out why Ben Cartwright was being so hardheaded or hardhearted. \u201cBoys, I respect your family and understand that these are trying times for all of you, so of course I\u2019ll help you out. How soon do you think you can be ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe spoke up again, \u201cPaul released the bodies yesterday and they were taken to the undertaker. Pa took care of arrangements at the cemetery yesterday too and the graves are ready to go. I think we can be ready in about an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss turned to leave, but Hoss grabbed his brother\u2019s arm to hold him back as he turned again to the minister. With his eyes downcast, Hoss said, \u201cPastor, I know most people think that Adam is dead, and truly Joe and I lean in that direction ourselves. But dadburnit, Pa is so sure that it ain\u2019t him that we just gotta give him the chance to come to grips with this. He\u2019ll come around and admit his mistake if he\u2019s wrong, but I tell you sure that if he don\u2019t go about this in his own way, he will never rest easy and it would weigh on his mind forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pastor Davis walked forward, putting an arm over each boy\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI have known your father for years, and wouldn\u2019t want him to compromise his nature now. I\u2019ll meet you at the cemetery and will spend my hour praying that you and Ben will find your answers.\u201d As the boys left, the pastor recalled the many times he had stood with this family in times of grief. The Cartwrights had been his earliest and finest supporters\u2014even back when services had been held wherever they could gather chairs on a Sunday morning. His heart broke at the thought of Adam being gone and would always remember the young man\u2019s composure when he sang Amazing Grace at Marie\u2019s service so many years ago. \u201cSo great a loss,\u201d he murmured as he walked toward the sanctuary to continue his prayers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An hour later, Ben, Hoss and Joe, along with Roy, Paul and a contingent from the stage office and saloon, stood in the cool spring wind for the obsequies, watching as three pine boxes were lowered into the waiting graves. There was sniffling from the ladies, while the men remained stone cold silent as Reverend Davis sprinkled soil onto the coffins. \u201cAshes to ashes; dust to dust. I ask God\u2019s blessings on these three souls who found themselves traveling together in life and now in death. Please greet their souls as they join the hosts in heaven. In the sure and certain hope of the resurrection and eternal life, I commit the bodies of Nancy Portland, Hank Moss and the young man to the earth and their souls to God. The Lord bless them and keep them, the Lord make his face to shine upon them and be gracious unto them. The Lord lift up his countenance upon them and give them peace.\u201d Reverend Davis continued with reading the 23rd Psalm and read 1 Timothy 6:6-7 \u201cBut Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.\u201d The quick service ended and the group was sent on their way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Motioning Ben away from the rest of the group as they dispersed, the pastor said, \u201cListen Ben, the boys told me that if I did this today, you would arrange for a proper service for these three souls regardless of what you find out. I\u2019m holding you to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, Pastor, and give you my word,\u201d Ben replied sincerely. \u201cThank you for your help today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Touching Ben\u2019s shoulder as he turned to leave, Reverend Davis cautioned, \u201cBen, grief over losing a child cannot be put off indefinitely, no matter how hard we try. I hope you aren\u2019t chasing something that you know is not true just to postpone the pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben squared himself with the Pastor and trained his steely glare on him. \u201cThank you for the advice, Pastor, but I know what I\u2019m doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen God go with you Ben. You know where I am when you need me.\u201d He watched as Ben hurried down the street heading toward the jail where they were meeting up to head to Goat Springs. \u201cGodspeed Ben,\u201d he said quietly as he turned toward the church.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Might He Dress in Black, Ma\u2019am?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The suction created when Ben entered the jail made the door to the cell area slam shut as everyone around Roy\u2019s desk jumped and turn to see who had come in. Roy waved Ben over. \u201cI\u2019m glad you got here, Ben. There\u2019s someone I think you\u2019ll be interested in meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Little Joe moved apart as a young woman turned from Roy\u2019s desk and moved forward. \u201cI\u2019m Carole Ann Baker, Mr. Cartwright. My family owns a small place north of Virginia City and I\u2019ve come here looking for my brother, Jacob.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook Carole Ann\u2019s hand and looked at her questioningly. \u201cI\u2019m sorry that your brother might be missing, but I don\u2019t understand what this has to do with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe spoke up. \u201cPa, she was expecting her brother to be on the same stage that Adam was on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben caught his breath as he looked into the hazel eyes of the young woman who might just hold a key to his mystery. Taking her small hands into his, he continued, \u201cMiss Baker, this is interesting news, but there were just two passengers on the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Leaving her hands in Ben\u2019s sturdy grasp, Carole Ann met his stare. \u201cYes that\u2019s what I\u2019ve heard too, but we both know you have questions Mr. Cartwright, and so do I.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben hadn\u2019t heard of any Bakers in the area, but there were plenty of small ranchers who didn\u2019t belong to the Cattleman\u2019s Association. Looking her over, Ben noted that Carole Anne had a pleasant face, was of average height and build, and he guessed that she was in her early twenties. Her hazel eyes and dark wavy hair made her seem familiar to him\u2014almost as if he should know her. Guiding her to one of the chairs in Roy\u2019s office, he indicated that the others should gather round. Still holding her hands, Ben prompted, \u201cCarole Ann, is it? Suppose you tell us a little more about yourself and why you think your brother might have been on that stage.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young woman felt only sincerity and warmth flowing from the faces of the men who wanted to hear something to confirm their grief or release them from it. \u201cFirst, I want to extend my condolences to your family. I\u2019ve heard that Mr. Cartwright has doubts about the death and is looking for\u00a0alternatives\u00a0<\/em>as to what might have occurred.\u201d She stopped speaking and looked at Ben to see if he was registering any anger at her comment. When she saw only kindness, she began again. \u201cI don\u2019t think my brother died on that coach since his body wasn\u2019t found, but I fear something else has happened to him\u2014perhaps something connected to the accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease go on,\u201d Ben encouraged as he leaned forward in interest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOur place is about eight miles southeast of the Goat Springs station. It\u2019s a small ranch, or maybe a better word is farm since we have a few cows and steers\u2014just enough to keep us in milk and beef. Pa brought us out here from San Francisco about five years ago after my mother was killed in a robbery there and he felt he just couldn\u2019t stay in that crazy city any longer. We\u2019ve all worked hard, yet we\u2019re lucky pa has some means or we would be in dire straits making it on what we raise.\u201d Looking up again, she found the Cartwright family smiling and nodding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not easy getting started,\u201d explained Ben, \u201cSometimes it goes better or worse than expected, but always keeps you on your toes. So what brought you to town looking for your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJake, as we call him, works for the California Railroad cartel out of San Francisco. He spends months at a time surveying and mapping areas that the company intends to develop. He\u2019s been working in the Truckee Meadows area for the past year and planned to come home to help us with spring planting as he usually does. We received a letter saying that he would make it home this week, probably taking the stage for a portion of his trip as he normally does. When he didn\u2019t get home by Thursday we began to worry and decided to see if he came into Virginia City. I came to town with my brother Ed while my father and youngest brother stayed home. Of course once we got here we heard of the accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wearing a confused expression, Hoss asked, \u201cMiss, I\u2019m not followin\u2019 your story all the way through. What makes you think he was on that stage? There was no one other than one man and Nancy on board, and there was no other luggage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she apologized, tuning pink. \u201cLet me explain better. Working for the railroad, Jake has a pass with the stage lines so he can get around when there\u2019s no train service. He can get on at any station and go as far as he needs to. Jake usually travels light when he comes for a visit\u2014leaving his equipment and personal things at the stage stop where he gets on: retrieving them when he gets back. Usually his clothes are so worn out that he chucks them at the station, wears his best things home and picks up what he needs before heading back. The station keeps his pack mule and if he doesn\u2019t have a long stage trip, he trails Possum behind the stage until he gets a few miles this side of Goat Springs. Then he rides home from there instead of going all the way to Virginia City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf he had a horse why did he take a stage?\u201d queried Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Ann laughed as she explained. \u201cJake spends so much time alone, that he often rides the stage just to have some company. He normally leaves the stage at the road to our place, but if he\u2019s enjoying himself or he needs to pick up things in town, he\u2019ll ride all the way to Virginia City. We normally wouldn\u2019t have come looking for him, but pa just had a bad feeling about it and wanted us to make sure he was all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben knew the feeling well and said as much, after which he asked Carole Ann to tell them about her brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJake is a little over six feet tall, I guess, and slender. He has dark, wavy hair and hazel eyes like mine, and a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he has the exasperating habit of thinking he\u2019s right all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe laughed, \u201cSounds like our brother, ma\u2019am. Sure your brother\u2019s name is Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard so much about your brother since we got to town. People say he was intelligent, fearless and had incredible strength of character. I understand he sang beautifully although he didn\u2019t sing often, except at church. You know,\u201d she stopped as her voice caught in an attempt not to cry. After regaining her composure and holding even tighter to Ben\u2019s hands, she continued, \u201cI could say all the same things about Jake. He is intelligent, kind, fearless, and he sings too, although the last time I heard him was when he sang at our mother\u2019s funeral. If he was riding the stage with your son, he would have had a wonderful time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss looked thoughtful as he asked, \u201cYour Jake didn\u2019t perhaps wear all black clothing did he, miss?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Ann looked confused and then remembered what the townspeople had said about Adam wearing black. \u201cNo, he didn\u2019t,\u201d she answered. \u201cDoes that help or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNeither, really. I was mostly just curious.\u201d Hoss cast a sidelong glance at his brother who replied without saying a word. The body in the stage was wearing Adam\u2019s black clothing. There was no doubt of that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben finally patted Carole\u2019s hands as he released them and looked at Roy with a combination of sadness and impatience. \u201cMiss, there\u2019s no evidence that your brother was on the stage before it crashed, but we were just heading out to Goat Springs to see what was going on when it made its last stop. If you\u2019d like, you and your brother can ride along. But we\u2019re leaving shortly and can\u2019t wait for you. Since you probably came in a wagon, I\u2019d ask that you try to get saddle horses from the livery.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Anne seemed excited for the opportunity. \u201cEd is over at the mercantile placing an order for some things we need out at the farm. I\u2019ll get him and meet you out front of the livery in less than 30 minutes. Is that good for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll swing by, but if you\u2019re not ready, we will go on without you. I\u2019m not being harsh; we just need to be on our way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Mr. Cartwright. This means a lot to us too. We\u2019ll be ready.\u201d Carole Ann rushed out of the Virginia City Jail, leaving a trail of unanswered questions in her wake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy finally spoke up. \u201cDo you think that this Jake may have been the one in the coach, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what I believe Roy, but I know it\u2019s not something I\u2019d wish on any other family. Still, it does add to the mystery.\u201d Ben looked at Hoss and Joe but couldn\u2019t read what they were thinking. \u201cI have to get to the bank and arrange for the payroll to be ready when Harley comes in for it. You boys take our horses to the livery and see if you can do anything to help the Bakers get set. Roy, we\u2019ll meet you there in twenty minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Welcome Back Sonny<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

This time Josie was humming\u00a0Sweet Betsy from Pike<\/em>\u00a0when Sonny pried his eyes open. He was on his back again and the pain in his shoulder and elsewhere seemed to be throbbing even more than before. Pushing the pain aside, he attempted to stretch but found that even basic lengthening of muscles in his back and legs brought severe pain and cramping. A soft groan escaped his lips bringing Josie to his side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Sonny,\u201d she sighed. \u201cThank God you woke up again. I was startin\u2019 to worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWorried? I\u2019ve only been asleep a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie gave a low, familiar chuckle as she replied, \u201cSonny, you fell asleep two days back and I haven\u2019t seen them lovely hazel eyes since. Are you in a lot of pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cStiff, cramping up,\u201d Sonny managed to get out before another cramp took hold in his calf.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t doubt that child. You\u2019ve only had a few spoonfuls of broth that I was able to get into you when your sleep was lighter, and even though I\u2019ve been changing you from your back to side from time to time, it\u2019s not like really moving.\u201d Josie went to the stove to stoke it a bit and set a pot onto the burner. \u201cSonny, I\u2019m goin\u2019 outside for a minute or two to get something ready. Be back in a tick to get you some food, and then we\u2019re on to bigger things.\u201d Stopping at the door, she looked back and made eye contact: \u201cStay awake until I get back. We\u2019ll get you to feeling better, but that means I\u2019m gonna push you hard today. You might not like it, but\u2026\u201d Josie couldn\u2019t yet voice the concern that was niggling at her mind concerning the condition of her patient. She just knew that she had to get him moving now, not later! \u201cPlease, just stay awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie disappeared out the door, leaving Sonny to his thoughts. He had been dreaming just before he awoke and was on a stage with two other people. They had been having a good time, talking, laughing and even singing. But then it all went wrong. The coach was weaving on the road and he was flying through the air; landing hard and tumbling while the stage continued on. And then there was nothing until he woke up here. Had Josie said she found him by a creek?\u00a0I need to fill in the gaps,<\/em>\u00a0he thought.\u00a0<\/em>His eyes began to get heavy just as Josie came back in the house shaking her finger at him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said not to sleep,\u201d she spoke in mock anger. \u201cNow let\u2019s get movin\u2019 so\u2019s you get to feelin\u2019 better.\u201d Moving determinedly, she pulled a chair from the table and flipped it over on the floor next to the bed. After gathering pillows within reach, she slipped her hand behind Sonny\u2019s back and helped him to sit up. The effort brought tears to Sonny\u2019s eyes but he said nothing as Josie reached down and grabbed the chair, placing it upside down into the empty space on the bed and wedged its legs through the slats of the brass headboard. Adding pillows behind him, she eased Sonny onto the angle of the chair\u2019s back creating a comfortable support to let him eat more easily. \u201cNow\u2019s how that?\u201d she asked as she went to get chicken and dumplings from the stove.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cActually, this is very comfortable,\u201d he complemented. \u201cWhere did you learn to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI had to come up with all sorts of ideas to help me out when Hiram took sick. He was too weak to sit up and one day it just popped into my head that the angle of the chair when tipped over, would be a perfect back rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell done, Josie! It would probably have taken a team of engineers years to come up with such a simple solution.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie had disappeared from sight, but Sonny heard a spoon in a pot and she shortly returned with a steaming bowl of food.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He took one whiff and retched. \u201cI\u2026um, I\u2019m sorry, Josie. I can\u2019t eat this.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust try, Sonny. Just one small bite at a time and you\u2019ll be okay. It\u2019s cooked soft so it\u2019ll go down easy. You have to get some nourishment in you or those muscles will keep cramping.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny noted that the tone of Josie\u2019s voice had taken on an edge\u2013rising in pitch, as she chattered while fussing over him. He thought her actions seemed normal enough but at one point, when he had coughed, she stopped dead in her tracks\u2014staring at him with eyes that went wide open and dark. She shook off whatever thought had crossed her mind, but he saw her shiver before she began moving again. He could only wonder at what caused it, but had no doubt it concerned him. \u201cAre you all right, Josie?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure Sonny.\u201d Handing him the bowl of food, she added, \u201cOr at least everything will be better once you get some of this into you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He retched again at the first bite and would have discontinued his efforts except that the hopeful look frozen on Josie\u2019s face made him resolve to forge on. As his stomach settled, he continued spooning small bites into his mouth and smiled as he realized that each time he swallowed, Josie\u2019s tense posture eased a little more, until she finally relaxed, sat back and exhaled. He figured she didn\u2019t even realize she was holding her breath. \u201cThis is good, Josie. I remember this was one of my brother\u2019s favorite meals.\u201d<\/p>\n

Josie heard what Sonny said about her cooking, but was more interested in his comment that followed. After bringing a mug of tea to the bed for each of them, she calmly mentioned, \u201cYou said your brother enjoyed chicken and dumplings. Are you remembering more now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI said that?\u201d he asked incredulously. \u201cI said my brother likes this?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes you did. Can you remember your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taking a sip of the tea, Sonny considered for a moment. \u201cI can\u2019t remember. That thought just passed through my mind like a shadow. It\u2019s there, but I can\u2019t touch it. I can hear him call me \u2018older brother\u2019 though. But that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s enough for now.\u201d Patting his hand, Josie rose and took the bowl to the kitchen. Then with a twinkle in her eye, she turned back and announced, \u201cAnd now, young man, we\u2019re going for a little trip outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An eyebrow rose. \u201cWe are?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep. And when you\u2019re out there, you\u2019re going to have a bath.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA bath?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMmhmm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOutside?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, for cryin\u2019 out loud, Sonny. Yes, now. I\u2019m goin\u2019 out to fill the tub, so finish your tea and get your head ready. I know you\u2019re not in the mood for doin\u2019 this, but I promise you\u2019ll appreciate it when we\u2019re done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Righteous Indignation<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It seemed like Josie was gone a long while, but by Sonny\u2019s estimation it wasn\u2019t nearly long enough, since he was dreading the pain he knew was about to rear its ugly head. As she neared the bed he noted that her usually long hair had been pulled up and clipped. Her sleeves were rolled up and a she was wearing a light covering of perspiration that gleamed like frost in early morning sunlight. \u201cAre you sure we should do this today?\u201d he asked once more, hoping to put off the inevitable.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie made no response except to assume a sly grin and set her frame for action. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get that binding off your arm before we go outside. Hiram used to pull his shoulder out of place at least once a year. Luckily I learned how to pop it back in or you\u2019d have been in sorry shape and a lot more pain. With it settin\u2019 here for the last few days, it should be comin\u2019 along right well.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny was clenching his teeth in dread and as Josie spoke, he began to take stock of himself. His right arm was in a sleeve of the nightshirt he was wearing, but his left arm was bound closely to his chest under the garment. The dislocation explained the throbbing in his shoulder and he wondered at this woman who knew so much about so many things. Stalling, he asked, \u201cJosie, why is it you know so much about healing? You set my shoulder and knew how to bind it and seem to know a lot about what to do for my injuries. Have you had medical training?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHa,\u201d she laughed heartily. \u201cI\u2019ve had training all right! The kind you get by having to do and figure things out.\u201d Her eyes took on a sad glow as she spoke. \u201cHiram always said I was a \u2018watcher.\u2019 He said I watched and learned faster than anyone he\u2019d ever known and I reckon that\u2019s exactly what I do. Some of what I know I learned by watchin\u2019 other folks do, some I\u2019ve figured out on my own. You get lots of time out here to ponder. I don\u2019t know if there\u2019s scientific-like proof of what I know, but I know things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike what?\u201d he continued to stall, but she either didn\u2019t notice or did but was willing to talk first.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting on the edge of the bed Josie began to share. \u201cA lot I just learned by watching nature\u2014the changes that happen before and during the seasons, what things animals do at what times, how to watch the moon and stars to know the month\u2019s passing. But some of it\u2019s harder\u2014like figurin\u2019 out when people need help and what to do about it when they do. It\u2019s just feeling your way through and learning to read the signs surely as you\u2019d read a book. Some human things I learned by dealing with people, both good and bad\u2014seein\u2019 what drives them\u2014or makes them strike out in anger or fear. And when Hiram took ill, I learned more about the human body than I ever figured to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s not too private, may I ask what happened with Hiram?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSonny, it ain\u2019t private at all. Some ways, it was the finest time of my life because I learned to take care of so much and figured God was getting\u2019 me ready for what was to come.\u201d Josie took a breath and remembered. \u201cHiram came in from the field one day, just all worn out. He looked peaked and weary, and slept in the middle of the day: which he never did. The sickness took his strength in months and before long couldn\u2019t do much for himself. I learned fast that he couldn\u2019t stay in one spot too long or he\u2019d get into big trouble. When he moved around some, he felt better and was more alert too. But he soon turned yellow like goldenrod and there was nothing to do but watch him go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She met Sonny\u2019s eyes with hers and while they were laden with sadness, there were no tears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he spoke sincerely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to be sorry, Sonny. That was a hard time, but Hiram and me, we talked it out when he knew he wasn\u2019t getting better. In the time he had, he made sure I was ready to go it alone or be prepared to leave. I chose to go it alone; at least for a time. I ain\u2019t one to look back and will always love Hiram for all he done for me. But he\u2019s gone now and I can\u2019t stay mired in grief.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While Sonny was still smiling as he considered his nurse-philosopher, Josie stood, laid the covers back to his waist and began to pull the nightshirt from her patient. Along with the other things Sonny was just becoming aware of, he now realized that the shirt was the only clothing he had on and a crimson stain began to crawl from his neck to his ears. \u201cJosie!\u201d he cried out. \u201cWait\u2026wait a minute!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, are you in pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Yes, but wait, I\u2019ve got nothing on under this!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true,\u201d she chuckled. \u201cNow come on, raise your arm so\u2019s I can get you freed up and out there before the bath water gets cold!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The blush deepened from crimson to purple as he complied, leaning forward so Josie could unwind the bandages releasing his arm from his chest. Even as he dreaded what would come next, he had to admit it felt good to have his arm free.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want you movin\u2019 that arm of yours too much while we\u2019re jostling around or you\u2019ll undo the good\u2019s been done. Now swing them legs out from under the covers and over the side here and we\u2019ll get you standin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Josie,\u201d he hedged, \u201cI\u2019ve got nothing on. Could we at least get a pair of pants on or something?\u201d There was that laugh again. She wasn\u2019t going to make this easy for him and he knew it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPants! We\u2019d just have to shed them after a few steps. But here, this will make you feel more comfortable.\u201d Josie loosened the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around his waist, holding it together at his side. \u201cWe\u2019ll wrap it around better once you stand. Now get movin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny swung his legs our from under the sheet as directed and noticed the large areas of yellowing bruises that seemed to start at his feet and move upward, pretty much covering his body. He used his good arm to push up as Josie kept him covered as best she could. \u201cAha!\u201d he proclaimed as he stood to his full six feet and then grabbed onto Josie as his world began to spin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHold on son, it\u2019ll pass. Just be still.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He grabbed onto the blanket\u2019s edge with the hand from his bad arm, as he pleaded, \u201cJosie, please get this around me better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go shyin\u2019 on me now Sonny. You\u2019ve trusted me so far. I only got two hands here and they\u2019re both holdin\u2019 you up at the moment,\u201d Then added with a mischievous tone, \u201cI promise I won\u2019t peek \u2013 although I\u2019ve been tendin\u2019 to ya while you been here, so it ain\u2019t like I don\u2019t know what\u2019s there. Now take a step. That\u2019s right, now another..\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was walking\u2026while at the same time holding on for dear life to the blanket.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She watched him in amusement as he kept a death grip on the edges of his covering. \u201cIt ain\u2019t like I\u2019m not acquainted with what\u2019s under that blanket, Sonny. You got the same parts as every other man, except I think Hiram would have given his eye teeth to have the \u2018equipment\u2019 God bestowed on you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie!\u201d he hissed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCome to think of it, there probably ain\u2019t a man alive who wouldn\u2019t trade for what you\u2019ve got.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, stop it,\u201d he spat. \u201cThat\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By this time they had inched across the house, while fortunately not tripping on the blanket, and were on the porch where the bathtub stood ready. Josie said triumphantly, \u201cNow, see where all that righteous indignation got you Sonny? I doubt you even remembered how bad you was hurtin\u2019 while you was so busy defendin\u2019 your honor.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was right. He had been so upset by her comments that he forgot how much it hurt to move. Gritting his teeth with the newly remembered pain, he said, \u201cJosie, you are a dangerous woman\u2026but I think I like dangerous women.\u201d He added with a smirk, \u201cNow please help me into the tub or I\u2019m going back to bed\u2014with or without this blanket.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even though she had been full of vinegar while walking him to the tub, she was now very discreet in assisting him into it in such a way that he remained covered enough to preserve his modesty. However, he should have known better than to think she\u2019d let him have the last word. After settling him into the deep water, she told him to holler if he needed anything and then grabbed a pitcher of cooler water, dumped it in on his head and said, \u201cThat\u2019ll teach you to get smart with your elders.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He sighed with pleasure as he sank \u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00addown into the steaming hot water. Josie had added soap chips that made the water silky and opaque, scenting it with chamomile, and creating a soothing luxury he hadn\u2019t expected. He moved his sore shoulder, only to be reminded again of why he wasn\u2019t supposed to do that. But in doing so he was able to assess that it worked and for that he was grateful. He voiced a silent prayer of thanks for being taken in by Josie Sullivan instead of lying dead at the side of a creek. He might not remember a lot, but he had hope that his life would return to what it had been, and that he\u2019d lived a life worth returning to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking around, he noted the outside of the house\u2014a sturdy board and mortar construction with a large front porch shielded by the overhang of the roof. There was a small barn facing the house with a side addition he figured to house chickens. He heard, but couldn\u2019t see a cow. \u201cMoo,\u201d he said aloud, and laughed.\u00a0Now why did he find that funny?<\/em>\u00a0The look of the house, or at least the way the yard was set up along with the sound of livestock made him feel at home and he wondered at that. It was a nice sturdy little spread and he had no doubt it was built with the sweat of Josie and Hiram Sullivan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Turning again to the house, he noted his face reflecting in the window glass. \u201cHello Stranger,\u201d he said quietly, while thinking,\u00a0how odd to see the visage of one\u2019s own face and not know who you are.\u00a0<\/em>He stared intently at the features but still could find nothing familiar. He had dark wavy hair that almost looked curly with the steam of the bath water, and dark eyes. \u201cHey, Josie,\u201d he hollered. \u201cMight you still have Hiram\u2019s razor, and scissors? Maybe I\u2019d recognize myself without this beard.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie appeared at the door. \u201cI do have a razor, but you\u2019ll not be touching your skin with it. Along with all your other injuries, it looked like you plowed a furrow with that face of yours. You would regret mightily tearing into that shock of whisker growth with a blade of any kind at this time. Just use that cloth to soak your face and you\u2019ll feel much better. Besides, you look good with a beard.\u201d She turned to leave but looked over her shoulder to add a thought. \u201cYou got some silver streaks growin\u2019 in that beard Sonny. I don\u2019t wonder if your pa might have white hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny was so relaxed at this point that he offhandedly threw out a, \u201dYes he does. Very silver, in fact.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSonny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His eyes sprang open for a moment as he sat up and concentrated but then settled back into the tub again. \u201cSorry, Josie. Just another of those shadow images that crosses my mind. Nothing real or permanent yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry. It will come in its time.\u201d Josie went back inside, and as she continued sweeping and changing bed linens, she sang, \u201cAmazing grace, how sweet the sound\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man in her tub began to sing along this time, the words coming to his memory from someplace deep and unknown. \u201c\u2026That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.\u201d It came to mind that those words were very accurate in his case.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The singing in the house came nearer as Josie stuck her head out the door again. \u201cHey Sonny! You been holding out on me. You sing like an angel. Let\u2019s do the second verse together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A Visit to Goat Springs<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben finished at the bank, then met his boys, the Bakers, and Roy at the livery and headed out on the 25-mile trip to Goat Springs. While still moving slowly through town, Hoss and Little Joe were able to find out from Edward that Jake was the oldest of the Baker children. Ed came next, then Carole Ann and there was a younger brother at home named Silas.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edward told them, \u201cMy brother studied engineering in school for a short time but finally just learned surveying by apprenticing with pa. When we moved out here, Jake took over pa\u2019s job with the railroads. He comes home now and again, but thinks he\u2019s the king of the mountain when he does.\u201d The Cartwrights could tell this last thought was said in humor, not resentment. \u201cOlder brother knows a lot about everything and isn\u2019t afraid to tell you about it either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOlder brothers ain\u2019t easy, that\u2019s for sure,\u201d Hoss offered with a sad smile of remembrance. \u201cBut what makes it even worse is that Little Joe and me hardly ever get the better of Adam. Once in a while we\u2019ll get lucky and best him, but it don\u2019t happen near often enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou must be sick with grief,\u201d offered Ed. \u201cI know it\u2019s felt like I have a 10 pound rock in my stomach ever since we got to the city and heard about the accident. We were sure glad to hear it wasn\u2019t Jake that died.\u201d He flushed as he finished the sentence realizing the gaff he\u2019d made. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I don\u2019t mean we were glad that it was your brother, just that it wasn\u2019t ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe exchanged a look of understanding, with Joe finally speaking. \u201cNo need to explain, Ed. We\u2019d be thinking the same thing if it was the other way around.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have a question if I could ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAsk away,\u201d responded Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is your pa so certain that it wasn\u2019t your brother on the stage? I mean, the whole town is talking about it and they think he\u2019s losing his mind or something. I guess I just wonder who he thinks it was?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Again the Cartwright brothers exchanged a glance, knowing what they wouldn\u2019t say out loud: that it was likely Pa was thinking the body on the stage could have been Jake\u2019s. But Hoss said instead, \u201cYou\u2019d have to know our pa like we do, Ed. The man has a sense about this and we\u2019ll have to let him solve it in his own way. We don\u2019t care what the town thinks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pace of the group sped to a gallop at the edge of town, effectively ending all conversation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Toby\u2019s chair was propped back on two legs, leaning against the station porch when the six riders pulled to a stop. He had to squint with great concentration as he identified most of the group coming up his steps. \u201cSheriff Coffee, Ben, boys,\u201d he said as he tipped his hat in greeting. \u201c\u2019Spected you\u2019d be out this way \u2018ventually. Come on in out of the sun and we\u2019ll talk a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once inside, Toby was introduced to the Bakers, and Roy began questioning him while Ben stood by looking impatient.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know about the crash, right, Toby?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell a course I do, Sheriff,\u201d he answered indignantly. \u201cSaid I was \u2018specting you, didn\u2019t I? Rode out there a couple days back to see fer myself after hearing about it from some passing travelers. So sad.\u201d Then, as if realizing who was there, he turned solemnly toward Ben to say, \u201cI am rightly sorry for yer family, Mr. Cartwright. Yer boy Adam was one of the best\u2014kind, helpful, always lent a hand when he came through. Reckon I\u2019ll miss him somethin\u2019 awful. And to have this happen when he was so close to home. It\u2019s a down right shame.\u201d Toby extracted a well-used handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his eyes; finally blowing his nose.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben offered, \u201cThank you Toby, but tell us what you remember at the time the stage passed through here. That will be most helpful.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTruthfully, there ain\u2019t a whole lot to tell. The stage got in early in the morning just past dawn\u2014pretty much on time for once, considering the time of year and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToby, please, just the facts,\u201d prodded Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, right. Well, we went about changing out the team for the stretch into Virginia City but I noticed none of them was looking right\u2014kind of greenish around the eyes and sick like. Adam said they stopped at Roseville last night for supper and a short rest for the driver, and then at Reno the girl startin\u2019 to feeling poorly. By the time they was an hour or so out from here, they all began to feel on the queasy side. That poor child Nancy, from the saloon in Virginia City, was sick somethin\u2019 awful. She was tossin\u2019 her stomach and cramping fierce while they was here and I suggested that they stay on to care for her. But they wanted to sprint for the city so\u2019s they could get to a doctor. Adam said he \u2018spected that they would all be goin\u2019 through what Nancy was and they was gonna need help. In some respects, I wasn\u2019t surprised that there was an accident.\u201d Toby got teary eyed again as he finished. \u201cHank Moss was as good a Jehu as they come, but iffen he got as sick as that poor girl did, there ain\u2019t no way he coulda controlled that team.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss questioned, \u201cDid they have any idea what was causin\u2019 this sickness? It just seems odd that they all had it at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Toby took on a knowing look as he explained. \u201cI been sending along messages with the drivers as they pass by telling them to contact the stage folks about the station at Roseville. I seen others coming through sick lately\u2014never as bad as this group\u2014but feelin\u2019 poorly. I don\u2019t serve much food here, but what I do I keep simple so\u2019s it stays good. But I think the feller that took over at Roseville a month or so back, well, I think he\u2019s serving them spoilt food from time to time. That\u2019s jest my opinion, though, and the line ain\u2019t done nothin\u2019 about it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy clarified, \u201cSo, Toby, you think these folks had food poisoning and that might have contributed to the accident?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf that means bad food made them sicker \u2018n a dog, and they couldn\u2019t handle the coach fer it, then yep, that\u2019s what I\u2019m sayin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Ann had been listening intently until this point but now interjected her questions. \u201cToby, do you know my brother Jacob\u2014Jake\u2014Baker? He rides the stage often. I\u2019m wondering if he was on that stage as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, a course he was,\u201d Toby responded as though everyone should have known that. \u201cHe was on it when it left, but I figured he would take off a little on down the line like he usually does, ma\u2019am. And since I only heared of Adam being found dead, figured he must have done that, even though he had mentioned staying on the stage to see the doc too. Figered he started to feel better and went his own way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ticking of the mantel clock made the only sound until Toby broke the silence by asking, \u201cWhy you asking about Jake, miss? Don\u2019t tell me he didn\u2019t make it home either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026no he didn\u2019t.\u201d Carole\u2019s voice shattered with fear as she turned to bury her face in her brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edward walked her over to a bed and sat down while Ben continued to ask questions. \u201cToby is there anything else that happened while they were still here? Anything at all that was different or sticks in your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Toby scratched at his beard as he was prone to do when pondering a question. \u201cWell there was one kinda funny thing as I think on it. As I say, Miss Nancy was the sickest of the bunch and had throwed up in the coach, pretty much soaking Mr. Jake as he tried to help her. So his clothes was perty darn ripe smellin\u2019, if you know what I mean. Adam and Jake were getting\u2019 on perty good\u2014seemed like a buddin\u2019 friendship\u2014but then why not, them being so much alike and all. They was like two peas in a pod, working to get things organized to head out: neither of them feeling right, but pushin\u2019 on just the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToby, the clothes. What about the clothes?\u201d prodded Ben again, trying to keep the old-timer on track.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah, that. Well, Jake travels light and didn\u2019t have a change of clothes along, so Adam crawls uptop the stage, and grabs a set of his own for Jake to wear. Said it was\u2014how\u2019d he put it\u2014an investment in a more pleasant ride. Funny thing was, once Jake had on Adam\u2019s clothes, them two coulda been twins\u2014well maybe not twins \u2018cuz Jake\u2019s a little thinner and has a beard and all, but related anyway.\u201d Toby began to laugh a wheezy sort of sound and then caught himself and apologized. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose you\u2019re findin\u2019 this all that funny, Mr. Cartwright. I\u2019m sorry iffen I offended ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo offense taken, Toby. You\u2019ve answered one question, but given us several more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Cartwrights and Sheriff Coffee stepped onto the porch of Toby\u2019s station. Roy was the first to speak in hushed tones so the Bakers wouldn\u2019t overhear. \u201cSo Ben, I don\u2019t suppose you\u2019re any more likely now to say that Adam was the one on that stage, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard what Toby said, Roy. The two men look alike, and Jake was wearing Adam\u2019s things. Why couldn\u2019t it just have easily been Jake in the crash as Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFollowing your logic, I have no reason to say it wasn\u2019t Jake, but I have one very big question.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf it was Jake on the stage, then where\u2019s Adam? It\u2019s more likely that Jake took off for home and something happened to him on the way. In fact, although I hate to say it, it\u2019s more likely that both men have perished rather than one or the other.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Cartwright boys just nodded their heads and looked at their father who was pale and shaken. Ben finally spoke. \u201cLet\u2019s get the Bakers and go with them to their homestead and see if Jake ever made it home. Maybe that will settle it once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roy shook his head with sadness. \u201cI hope you all find what it is you\u2019re lookin\u2019 for but I have a town to run and I best be getting back. You can let me know what you find out. We\u2019ll ride together until you turn off for the Bakers.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Anne and Ed readily agreed to the plan and the group headed out again, turning back to holler their thanks to Toby. At the cutoff for the Bakers, Roy bid them farewell and said he\u2019d see them in town when they got there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe was the first to notice the single set of horse tracks along the road leading to the Baker homestead. \u201cThere,\u201d he pointed. \u201cLooks like Toby may have been right. Maybe Jake did leave for home here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next hours to the house brought hope to the Bakers, even though the tracks were lost in an outcropping a few miles from where they started. Carole Ann attributed it to her brother\u2019s nature to always look for the uncharted way to get anywhere. Those same hours brought a growing dread in the other members of the party.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Giving Back<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Josie came back to check on her charge, Sonny had his head back, catching the rays of the sun making their way onto the porch. \u201cComfortable?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMmm, yes.\u201d Opening his eyes he smiled at the woman who had straddled a short backed stool near the tub. \u201cJosie, why are you doing this for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? You mean getting you in this tub? Figured you needed somethin\u2019 to help ease the stiffness and cramping.\u201d Then, with a wicked smile, followed by her low, knowing chuckle, she added, \u201cOr maybe I just wondered how much indignation you could handle before you forgot I was a woman and popped me in the jaw.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny\u2019s smile turned to a one sided grin as he pressed, \u201cYou are a wicked woman, Josie\u2026but seriously, you live alone and didn\u2019t know who I was or what was wrong with me. You thought I was about to die so it would have been a whole lot safer to leave me where you found me rather than to bring me here.\u201d He paused, turning his earlier shade of crimson as he continued, \u201cJosie, I can\u2019t imagine what condition I was in, but it had to have been bad. I know how sick I was.\u201d Another pause. \u201cI just can\u2019t imagine anyone doing what you must have done for me. It leaves me wondering why.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In response, Josie grabbed a jar and a bucket of clean hot water she\u2019d brought out, telling him to sit forward. \u201cLet me give you a hand washing your hair. It\u2019s got to be hard with one only good arm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, please. I need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pouring water over Sonny\u2019s head she began to talk. \u201cI guess you need the longer version of my life to understand why I did it.\u201d Lathering up her hands she began scrubbing Sonny\u2019s hair. \u201cI grew up on the east coast of this country.\u201d A knowing laugh escaped. \u201cMa said we were descended from those pilgrims that first landed, but I always said that if we were, then we were the ones who took a left turn off the boat while everyone else took a right.\u201d Her tone turned serious again. \u201cWe lived in Boston, in a poorer part of town. But we had a decent life \u2018cause Ma did cleanin\u2019 for the rich folks and pa worked when he could find it. I got some schoolin\u2019 and ma made sure I could read, write and do figures well enough to earn a livin\u2019 if I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grabbing the jar again Josie poured clean water over Sonny\u2019s head. \u201cI never married \u2018cause my folks took sick just as I got to be a woman. I was their only child, so I took care of them and did some clerking to make ends meet. Pa died first and ma after a while longer, which left me wonderin\u2019 what to do with my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s eyes darkened as she dried his hair with a towel. \u201cOne day a friend showed me a paper telling of \u2018opportunities in the West.\u2019 I was in my thirties already and considered an old maid where I lived, so I was interested in what it had to say about them lookin\u2019 for women to come to San Francisco to work in the \u2018shops\u2019 and be wives for all the men folk coming in from the ships and gold mines. Seemed there were lots of men there but not so many women. I looked good for my age and figured a man in need of a wife where there weren\u2019t many to choose from, would be glad to have me no matter how long I\u2019d been around.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finished with Sonny\u2019s hair, Josie rested her arms on the back of the stool and continued, her voice reflecting a sadness that tore at Sonny\u2019s heart. \u201cI decided to go\u2026 and we was on that ship forever, but finally made it to California. Then we found out what we was really there for. They didn\u2019t want wives or shopkeepers\u2014they wanted saloon girls: Girls to sell whiskey and girls to pleasure the men. We tried to leave but were told we \u2018owed\u2019 them for our passage and had to work it off or they\u2019d put us in prison for our debts. They said that if we thought the saloon was bad, we should get a gander at the prisons.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny remained quiet, letting the story unfold.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was as miserable as all the rest of them girls, but had always been known for my happy heart, as some called it, and decided I wasn\u2019t goin\u2019 to let these people take that from me. I\u2019m not saying it wasn\u2019t horrible! I\u2019d never been with a man and that was no way to be introduced to one, let me tell you. But I prayed, and worked the saloon the best I could and wouldn\u2019t you know it, my boss heard me singin\u2019 one day and decided I could sing in the bar instead of hustlin\u2019 drinks all the time. He found out I could read and do numbers too and let me help with his bookkeeping and such.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting up straighter, Josie added, \u201cOh, Sonny, I\u2019m not implying that my life was rosy after that \u2018cause they would have sucked the soul right outta me if they coulda. They did with most of the girls and I watched as the light went out of their eyes and they walked through life like livin\u2019 dead. But I made up my mind to keep the sun shinin\u2019 in my life. It was somethin\u2019 an old sea captain said to me before I left Boston made me think that way.\u201d Josie looked as if she was remembering a sacred time and just sat for a moment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway, I saw what killed the other girls faster than anything was the drinkin\u2019, so I avoided that like the plague. Had a deal with the bartender: he charged the men for whiskey, but gave me tea in my shot glass. The owners didn\u2019t mind as long as I stayed \u2018friendly\u2019 with the customers and kept the money comin\u2019 in. I got up in the mornin\u2019 and walked to mass at a church not too far from the harbor: Course I didn\u2019t take Communion \u2018cause I didn\u2019t think I was worthy of that with what I was doin\u2019.\u00a0 But people said I always had the glow of the sun in my cheeks and I did \u2018cause I got outside every chance I could. Sonny, I tried to get others to come with me, but they believed that they deserved their life and couldn\u2019t have it any better. It was like you said earlier; they lived in shadows of despair. Things meant to live in the sun and air die fast when kept in the dark, and because of it, death was a frequent caller. It broke my heart to see it happen but all I could do was keep paddling to stay afloat.\u201d Josie leaned sideways so she could read Sonny\u2019s face hoping to see his reaction as she asked. \u201cSo what do you think of me now?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t sound like you came from Boston,\u201d was all he said. He turned toward her and smiled.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it!?\u201d she laughed. \u201cI tell you that I was a member of the oldest profession on earth and you\u2019re a worryin\u2019 about my accent? Did you hear anything I said?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reaching up with his good arm, he took her hand. \u201cJosie, I\u2019ve heard everything you\u2019ve said and my opinion of you is still the same. You took what life gave you and made it the best you could. You are the bravest and kindest woman I have ever known.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie guided his hand back into the water and gave him a playful slap on the head. \u201cThat\u2019s because I\u2019m the only woman you can remember knowin\u2019 so that ain\u2019t saying much. And as far as what I sound like, living in the west I just kind of took on the speaking patterns of everyone who came through the bars, and then living with Hiram, I took on his way of talkin\u2019 too. He was from the south and drawled so easy that I just did the same, I guess. Sometimes I\u2019m ashamed at how casual my speakin\u2019 has become. I knew better once.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell? What\u2019s keeping you from changing? Hiram\u2019s gone now. You can speak however you want to. And while this is all interesting, you still haven\u2019t told me why you helped me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Echo of Anxiety<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you getting chilly?\u201d Josie asked as she stood. \u201cThat water must be getting cool by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot really, Josie. I\u2019m actually very warm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s head snapped to attention at Sonny\u2019s words. She dipped her hand into the bath and shivered at how cool it had become: Yet he was comfortable. Brushing Sonny\u2019s forehead brought her heart to a standstill. It was hot: very hot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grabbing towels and a sheet, Josie set to getting Sonny moving. \u201cCome on you lazy dog. Time to go back inside.\u201d She made sure he was wrapped warmly and modestly before starting the trip inside. His movements were more fluid for the soak in the tub and he seemed in good spirits except that Josie could feel the heat from his skin radiating through the layers of fabric covering him. In addition, the cough that had been a simple hacking during the night now started to sound like the echo of a hound\u2019s bark and was coming more frequently. Josie quickly bound up his arm again and slipped a fresh nightshirt over his head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to have you eat something quick and then get you back to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really not hungry, Josie; just tired. Maybe after I sleep I can eat more?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie thought about it for a moment and had an idea. \u201cWhile you eat, I\u2019ll tell you why I brought you home. Alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou drive a hard bargain, Josie Sullivan. But maybe just some of your broth with the story? I don\u2019t think I could handle anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After making sure that Sonny was actually sipping the broth, she began where she left off. \u201cAs I was saying, my life got better, but you understand it wasn\u2019t great by any means. Even with singing and doing other work, it was still a saloon and I was still someone\u2019s property. Then one night, Hiram came in. We talked a little that night and he kept comin\u2019 in after that. Finally, the management told him he couldn\u2019t talk to me because I wasn\u2019t creatin\u2019 enough income with him taking all my time. So one night he brokered for me\u2014paid them $100, and while we was there in that back room reserved for \u2018pleasurin\u2019 he got down on his knee and proposed. We snuck away that night and he brought me here. Said he knew what they was doin\u2019 at those places and it wasn\u2019t right to keep a girl like me as much as a prisoner. Sonny, Hiram didn\u2019t know nothin\u2019 about me, but he took a chance and saved me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so you saved me? Is that is? A repayment for a kindness shown to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe. Keep sippin\u2019, young man\u2019,\u201d she interjected. \u201cBut it was more than that. I do feel that Hiram saved me, but I\u2019ve been feeling lately he saved me for a purpose: Like I was gonna be asked to do something in return…\u201d A pause hung in the air until Josie said, \u201cIf I tell you more, you\u2019re goin\u2019 to think I\u2019m crazy Sonny, so we\u2019ll leave it at my doing somethin\u2019 nice for another human bein\u2019 because someone did nice for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a coughing fit, Sonny looked at Josie over the rim of her blue stoneware cup, raised his eyebrow and said with a smirk, \u201cYou stop talking, I stop drinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, okay. Anything to get food into you!\u201d A deep breath brought resolve as Josie said what she feared to say aloud. \u201cI didn\u2019t just find you. I was told to find you. I was driving along and those danged horses just stopped. So I\u2019m sitting there trying to get those fool animals to move when I hear this voice in my head saying. \u2018Help him.\u2019 Now I\u2019ve been talking to God for years, but never expected he\u2019d talk back. So I say, \u2018Help who?\u201d Josie gave a mighty laugh at the memory but quickly returned to seriousness. \u201cBut no one answered so I got down from the wagon and started walking toward the creek, and I still couldn\u2019t see anything. So I say again, \u2018Who am I looking for Lord?\u2019 and I kid you not, I heard you by my feet. I was standing beside you and didn\u2019t even know it. So you see Sonny, I didn\u2019t so much find you as was led to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After letting that sink in for a moment, Josie continued, \u201cI had a few questions for the Almighty about then, asking him why I was supposed to help you just to watch you die; sayin\u2019 that I never had such good luck with trustin\u2019 what I didn\u2019t know, and that I wouldn\u2019t know what to say to you if you did wake up. But suddenly everything fell into place in my mind and I just did what my heart told me to. I argued a long time with God but he wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIn other words, you found me under a burning bush?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie slapped her knee, \u201cNow, how is it you know the story of Exodus, but not your own name. I did think that same exact thing Sonny, but it makes me feel right better to have you say the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you\u2019re just being trained to listen, Josie. There may still be some Israelites you\u2019ll have to rescue from the Egyptians.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so, Sonny, maybe so.\u201d What she didn\u2019t say was that if her next mission turned out as pleasant as this one was going so far, she would be happy. Josie Sullivan was in love with the stranger she\u2019d named Sonny. It wasn\u2019t a romantic love, but she loved him as a mother would a son, or with a love that two close friends would share. However, she also knew that this very special person was undoubtedly missed something awful by someone, somewhere. What she couldn\u2019t figure out was why he couldn\u2019t remember more. She hoped he would start recalling soon so she could get him back to where he had come from, because as things stood, she wasn\u2019t sure which direction she should head even if he was well enough to travel. Rising abruptly, she declared, \u201cIt\u2019s time for you to get to bed and see if you don\u2019t remember more with some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny rose from the table with Josie\u2019s help and walked with her to the bed. He was now far stiffer than he was some minutes earlier and the trip included two stops for coughing that wracked his body. As she helped him get comfortable she noted again how hot he was becoming. \u201cYou doin\u2019 okay Sonny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looked at her with eyes reflecting a glassy shine. \u201cSure, fine. I\u2019ve been getting a miserable headache, but otherwise I\u2019m okay.\u201d Pausing while he nestled more comfortably into the clean sheets he continued, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what made you look for me Josie, but I\u2019m thankful that you did.\u201d He wore a wry grin as he finished, \u201cI\u2019m assuming that you would have mentioned it if I had a large stash of cash in my pockets, which means there\u2019s no way to pay you. So you are truly doing this from the goodness of your heart, or because God would have struck you down if you hadn\u2019t.\u201d At this he started to laugh but had to stop to catch his breath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny was asleep before Josie had the table cleared. Outside on the porch cleaning up the bath, her nerves began to jangle as she heard the coughing start again, even as he slept.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Father to Father<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The group that separated from Roy outside Goat Springs arrived at the Baker farm towards evening to a greeting from the youngest brother, Silas. Matthew Baker soon exited the house and hurried toward his children. \u201cHave you any news of Jacob?\u201d The silver haired man stood waiting for good news with eyes that spoke of his secret fears.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edward was the first to speak, indicating their fellow travelers, \u201cPa, these are the Cartwrights.\u201d His father, remembering his manners, shook hands with Ben, Hoss and Little Joe as his son introduced them. \u201cThey\u2019ve come with us to see if Jake made it home. But I\u2019m guessing he\u2019s not here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he has not come home.\u201d A look of sadness washed the older man\u2019s face before he spoke again, \u201cForgive me. I\u2019m forgetting all hospitality. Please come inside so we can find out what this is about.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moving their horses to the hitching rail, Hoss and Joe noted the layout of the ranch. Joe spoke quietly to his older brother. \u201cKinda looks like the Ponderosa but on a smaller scale, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d Hoss nodded his agreement as he noted the placement of the house to the barn. The house had a similar look and shape as theirs but without the second story.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After everyone was settled comfortably and served coffee, Carole Ann gave her father and youngest brother the facts of what they had found so far, including how just one body was discovered at the crash: presumed to be Adam Cartwright. She also explained that Ben was not as convinced as others and was out looking for evidence to make the identification conclusive. She ended with the only information she had on her brother. \u201cPapa, we know Jake left the way station on that stage and we found tracks leading from the stage toward our homestead, but lost all sign of them along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Matthew Baker expressed his sorrow for both families as this news began to register in his weary mind. \u201cOh, my,\u201d he stammered, \u201cYou should know that Jake\u2019s horse made it home two days ago, but obviously he was not on it. We assumed it had gotten loose from the stage and wandered here on its own, but now it would seem that he lost Jake along the way.\u201d A quiet lingered in the air until Matthew concluded, \u201cMaybe Jake got this same sickness as the others, and was unable to ride. He must be somewhere along the route home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edward explained, \u201cPapa, that could be true, but we made a pretty thorough search on the way here and didn\u2019t find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019ll go look more!\u201d Matthew thundered. \u201cIf my son is out there, we will find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No one wanted to voice the obvious that it had been over a week since the accident and if Jake had been as sick as everyone else, he probably wouldn\u2019t have survived that long on his own.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose from his chair and walked over to a shelf holding a number of pictures. Picking up a group photo, he asked, \u201cIs this Jake? The one with a beard, next to you, Matthew?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Matthew joined Ben to see which picture he was holding. \u201cYes, that\u2019s him. He didn\u2019t usually have a beard but would let it grow when working in the field. I think it made him look older, but he said it was too hard to shave when roughing it. We had this taken last fall when we met him in Sacramento to celebrate his birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToby, from the way station, said that our sons resembled each other and I can see what he meant. He is thinner than Adam but they do and have a similar \u2018look\u2019 for lack of a better word.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Overhearing what the two fathers were talking about, Hoss and Joe joined them to inspect the photo. They both agreed with their pa\u2019s assessment. There was something in the way Jake was standing; something so hauntingly familiar as to make them hold their breath for a moment before releasing it in a sigh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two families shared dinner while they became better acquainted. Hoss was grateful for a home-cooked meal and voiced his opinion that there was \u201cnothin\u2019 better than chicken and dumplins.\u201d Edward agreed, thanking his father for having made his favorite. As the families ate, they made plans for the next day. Hoss and Joe decided that they would assist Edward in searching the stretch of road between the stage route and their homestead more thoroughly since their well honed tracking skills would help to find any sign of where Jake might have gone or gotten separated from his horse. Matthew, Silas and Carole were heading the opposite direction to see if anything new had turned up in Virginia City, as well as to return the horses they\u2019d rented and pick up their wagon. Ben decided he would ride along with them to Virginia City before heading out to the Ponderosa. He hadn\u2019t even thought about the business of the ranch since the day Roy set his world spinning, and needed to get back to insure that all was well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Matthew walked his guests outside, he commented to Ben, \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ve found the same thing, Mr. Cartwright; that as parents, we\u2019re always just a word away from being brought to our knees. We think that all is well, and then we hear that our child is ill, late returning, missing, or\u2026worse, and we fall to our knees in anguish and prayer. I\u2019m not sure how this latest trial will end, but I know I will be on my knees again tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben grasped the man\u2019s shoulder and simply said, \u201cI know. I\u2019ve been there a lot lately myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silas accompanied the Cartwrights to the barn to get them settled in for the night. As they passed a penned area, the cows standing by the hay bin began crying out. \u201cOh, moo yourself,\u201d he yelled back to them. \u201cI\u2019ll get to you when I finish here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou talk to cows a lot, Silas?\u201d teased Hoss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A grin overtook Silas and then faded. \u201cI guess I\u2019ve always had a way with our animals. Jake teased me that I spoke the language of \u2018moo\u2019 to these guys, and he couldn\u2019t figure out which perplexed him more; me talking it or them answering.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss gave Silas a jab in the shoulder. \u201cThat\u2019s a good memory of your brother Silas. Don\u2019t ever let that one go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beware of Unsigned Notes<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a brief stop in town to speak with Roy and introduce him to Matthew Baker, Ben headed home to the Ponderosa. The Bakers quickly realized that there was no Jake or any news of him in town, so they picked up their wagon and headed home to see what the other group might have found. The two families made no further plans except that Ben agreed to send word about when the memorial service for Adam would be held. For their part, the Bakers would send word in the event that Jake was found. It was now into the second week since Adam had failed to return home and Ben felt every day of it in his weariness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rode into the yard of the Ponderosa late in the day and was overwhelmed by gratitude at being home, while also feeling the unnatural silence of the usually bustling ranch. The hands seemed to be doing a good job keeping things going, and he figured they would keep their distance now unless he sought them out. He knew they were all aware of what had happened, and had seen a few of the men repairing a fence along the road, but while they had tipped their hats in greeting, they hadn\u2019t called out or come over. Ben was well aware that most of the men he hired were loners or drifters. Many had lives filled with sorrow and loss. They didn\u2019t share personal information easily or often, but would understand what Ben was experiencing, and his need to be alone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While unsaddling Buck, Ben was startled by the swat of a tail from the horse behind him. He didn\u2019t have to look; he knew the only other horse in the barn was Sport. After brushing Buck and getting him fed and stabled, Ben approached Sport to stroke his face and scratch the area behind his ears. He spoke soothingly, \u201cI know big boy, I miss him too.\u201d The chestnut turned his head to nuzzle Ben and focused his big brown eyes on the father of his master. After all Ben had been through, this simple gesture was what caused the man to break down while leaning over the big horse\u2019s back. Sport stood quietly, reaching his head back now and then to touch Ben and nicker.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Ben\u2019s grief had finally eased, he made his way to the house in a stupor, heading directly to the sanctuary of his room. This house, the home that had always seemed to welcome him, seemed empty and foreign as he viewed it through the haze of exhaustion, and he gratefully collapsed in his bed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hop Sing materialized at the house during the night, seeming to have a sixth sense at the comings and goings of his family. He called out as Ben came down the steps looking like a shadow of himself, \u201cMr. Cartwright, I find this on door when I arrive. Addressed to you.\u201d Hop Sing hurried to the stairs to hand Ben the folded note he had found stuck under the knocker.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben sat on the steps, opened the crumpled paper and began to read. \u201cWho would do this?\u201d he spat as he looked up at Hop Sing with a dazed look.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou need help? I go get doctor? Sheriff?\u201d inquired the concerned cook.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, no, Hop Sing, but I\u2019ll be going into town soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s Greek To Me<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie spent a restless night listening to the coughing, knowing in her heart that the sickness, the injuries and spending nights in the cold had weakened Sonny far more than she thought at first. Just as with her parents and later Hiram, they had not died of the diseases that wasted them, but rather succumbed to the condition called pneumonia. She knew it attacked the lungs of those who were already ill or seriously injured, effectively suffocating them in the end. Sonny already had the fever and cough, and his breathing was becoming more shallow and raspy. Having been through this before she knew he would get worse until he would be raw inside with it and in so much pain with the coughing that he would pray to die. All she could do now was force as much nourishment into him she could, keep him moving as long as possible\u2026and pray. She hoped that since Sonny was younger and stronger than the others she had seen die from this, he could recover. \u201cWhy would you have me help him and grow to love him if you were going to take him away, God,\u201d she ranted at her Creator through clenched teeth. \u201cPlease, please, show me what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny awoke soon after in a fit of coughing, but seemed in good spirits. Josie had been up and moving around for a while, humming a sacred song she had heard the nuns sing at the church she attended when in San Francisco. The beauty of its melody had always haunted her even though she knew neither the title of the song nor the words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPanis Angelicus<\/em>,\u201d Sonny called to her between coughs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about, Sonny?\u201d she asked coming closer to the bed, almost afraid to look at him for fear of what she\u2019d see. But it seemed as though the fever had lifted a bit and his skin tone was more normal than flushed as it had been. Laying her hand on his forehead quickly dispelled that hope.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe song you\u2019re humming is called\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>.\u201d**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, is it now? And just how do you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard it sung before. It\u2019s from a mass by St. Thomas Aquinas, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSonny, you never fail to amaze me with that knowledge you have rolling around in that brain of yours. I heard the nuns singing it in San Francisco and always thought it was the most beautiful song ever.\u201d Then she chuckled, \u201cThough what they was singin\u2019 about was Greek to me because I couldn\u2019t understand a word of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Latin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not Greek, it\u2019s Latin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny! I suppose you know Latin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cActually, I think I do, or at least some.\u201d Coughing interrupted his thoughts. As he breathed more normally, he asked, \u201cWould you like to know the words?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWill I like them or just feel stupid?\u201d asked Josie with a smile.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSit down, I\u2019ll sing it for you.\u201d Josie pulled a chair over and listened as he sang softly. For those moments, there was no coughing and she sat mesmerized.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPanis Angelicus, fit panis hominum;<\/p>\n

Dat panis coelicus figures terminum;<\/p>\n

O res mirabilis!<\/p>\n

Manducat dominum.<\/p>\n

Pauper, pauper, servus et humilis.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With the song finished, the coughing restarted, while Josie continued to stare at him in awe. \u201cIt\u2019s so beautiful, but how on earth do you know something like that?\u201d she wondered aloud. After a moment she added, \u201cYou know though, what made it even more beautiful was that they sang it in a kind of round, where one group started and the next came in a little later. It always brought tears to my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More coughing was followed by, \u201cIt\u2019s a strophe, not a round..\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The word for the way they sang it is a strophe. It\u2019s a song that\u2019s sung by two sections of a choir that sing to each other\u2014almost like an echo.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie sat up straight, looking again at the young man before her and asked again. \u201cHow is it that you know these things? I\u2019ve never known anyone like you before. I suppose you know what the song means too.\u201d She smiled as she continued. \u201cAlthough I always wonder if I should ask that question, because something that wonderful probably translates into something ordinary, instead of something sacred like how it sounds.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me Josie, it\u2019s as sacred as it sounds.\u201d He paused to catch his breath. It means, \u2018the angelic bread becomes the bread of men. The heavenly bread ends all prefigurations; what wonder! Consumes the Lord a poor and humble servant.\u2019\u201d Sonny paused to let it sink in. \u201cDo you understand what that means Josie?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like it\u2019s talking about how Christ became man\u2014the bread of life like scripture says and ended all the questions and sacrifices and such from the Old Testament; and what a wondrous thing that even a poor and humble person, like me, can know this and have him in their hearts.\u201d After giving her explanation, she began to blush saying shyly, \u201cBut I don\u2019t suppose that\u2019s even close.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sonny captured her eyes with his, \u201cDon\u2019t underestimate yourself Josie Sullivan. I couldn\u2019t have said it better.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her cheeks continued to glow in shades of golden pink as she tried to get him moving. \u201cSuppose we get you up for a while?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSuppose we don\u2019t, and let me get my bearings a bit more before we go anywhere,\u201d he replied with a raised eyebrow and slanted smile. \u201cI want to talk about some things first.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell be quick about it, then. The day is flying by.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stretching to see the clock on the mantel, he laughed, \u201cJosie it\u2019s only 5:30 in the morning and it\u2019s still dark out. We\u2019ve got a little time. Besides, you\u2019ll be glad to know that I\u2019ve remembered some things!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie had gone to the kitchen but quickly returned to her chair of vigilance carrying tea with honey to help his cough. \u201cTell me, and hurry up!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tea eased the tickle at the back of his throat and allowed him to speak more easily. \u201cI know I was on that stage, Josie. I can see it, but not everything. There were three of us: Two men and a young woman, all heading for Virginia City. I suppose if this Adam you talked about was one, then I was the other. The name Adam sounds familiar, and my name may be James. We were all getting sick\u2014maybe from the food we had the night before\u2014but the girl was the worst. She just lay there whimpering in pain and we were trying to get to a doctor. Adam and I were not as sick, but we could tell the driver was getting worse. He wasn\u2019t controlling the team and we decided that one of us would tend to the girl while the other went uptop to help the driver. I went out on the side of the coach and then remembered we were trailing a horse behind us: I think it was mine. Anyway, the poor thing was in a panic, tossing his head and crying out in fright as the coach lurched from one side of the road to the other. Since the driver wasn\u2019t controlling them, the stage team was picking up speed even as they lost their bearing, and I realized I\u2019d have to get the horse free or it would end up stumbling and getting dragged. I crawled toward the back of the coach, pulled out my pocketknife and cut the horse loose. The rest is more of a blur. I think I dropped my knife and tried to grab it as it fell. At that moment I started to get dizzy, lost my handhold just as the coach lurched again, and was flying over the side of the road before I realized I was even falling. Must have landed on my face and shoulder but rolled on and on until I passed out. That was all I remembered until I woke later, sick, cold and lost. Couldn\u2019t remember what had happened or how I got there. The last thing I remember before waking up here was the awful pain in my stomach and shoulder, and crawling under a bunch of branches, thinking it would give me some shelter until I felt better and could sort things out. Next thing, I woke up here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took a moment for Josie to realize he had finished, having been so caught up in his telling. \u201cSonny you are lucky to be alive at all. Not many men could live through a full speed fall from a coach.\u201d After running the story through her mind again, she asked, \u201cSo would you like me to start calling you James?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet Josie. That\u2019s not right. But I\u2019ll tell you if it falls into place for sure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow, the question you said you had can wait for a bit while you move around and we get some food into you.\u201d Josie rose, noticing the first rays of sunlight breaking through the eastern windows. It was a bright golden light; the sort that sailors would rejoice in, not the red refracted rays of sunlight coming back from the unseen storm clouds in the west, foretelling a bad day of sailing ahead. But even in this warm and golden light, and in spite of her life\u2019s mantra on living in the sun, Josie felt the clouds gathering in her home. She feared this storm would take away the life she had saved and wash away her hard won sense of peace forever. But there was nothing to do but keep using the time she had left to put some distance between herself and the rain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Something\u2019s Too Good To Be True<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Passing through Virginia City on their way back from tracking Jake, Hoss and Joe spotted Buck tied up outside the bank. They decided to stop, hoping they\u2019d find Ben and get him to buy lunch before heading for home. The two boys were deep in conversation as they approached the doorway of the bank and ran head on into Ben who was looking down as he slipped a packet of money into a leather pouch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d cried Joe as he grabbed Ben by his shoulders to steady him. \u201cWhere are you headed in such a hurry?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled as he registered the fact that his boys had made it back safely, and with a quickly spoken, \u201cCome with me,\u201d following a jerk of his head to indicate which direction to head, he led them to Daisy\u2019s Restaurant a few doors away. Once seated, he became very animated, encouraging Hoss to order lunch. \u201cYou must be starving son,\u201d he commented as he grasped his shoulder, giving him another affectionate pat as he released him. \u201cI\u2019m so glad to see you both. Let\u2019s order something and then you can fill me in on what you found.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss found Joe\u2019s eye across the table as Ben turned to call the waitress. Joe\u2019s eye widened as he raised his shoulders with an unspoken, \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with him either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After orders were placed, Ben clapped his hands and rubbed them together. \u201cSo you\u2019re home. What did you find out there?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was the first to answer as he caught Joe out of the corner of his eye, still shrugging with a questioning expression. \u201cAs you probably guessed, there was no sign a\u2019tall of Jake anywhere on that road and we combed the area as best we could. When we got back to the main road for the second time, Ed told us to head home. He was gonna set back for his house following the tracks once more as far as he could. Said he\u2019d probably make one more run with his pa once he got back if he didn\u2019t find anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe didn\u2019t want to burst the bubble of his father\u2019s good mood, but had to say it, \u201cIt would seem that neither Adam nor Jake are going to make it home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben took on a conspiratorial look as he motioned his sons to move in closer for some private information. Laying a piece of paper on the table, he told them, \u201cThis arrived at the house early today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss read: \u201cYour son got hurt in the stage crash but is still alive and will stay that way if you give us $10,000 for our trouble. Get the money. Will contact you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The look on the faces of the two sons registered shock and pain. Neither of them could believe that their pa was taking this seriously. Joe was shuffling his silverware and rearranging the salt and pepper shakers on the table to release his nervousness, as Hoss reached over and rested his hand on his father\u2019s arm while speaking gently, \u201cPa, you can\u2019t think this is real?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd just why not?\u00a0 You found no evidence of Jake because it\u2019s now obvious that Jake died in the crash while someone found Adam shortly afterward. Maybe Adam got thrown clear of the stage as it went down. These people know we have money and we\u2019ll pay to get him back safe and sound.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss continued soothingly, \u201cPa, you know better than this. Everyone in these parts knows that the Cartwrights have money and no one would have to hold Adam to get it. All they need do is bring him on home and you\u2019d pay them whatever they wanted. Pa, I just don\u2019t think you\u2019re considerin\u2019 this with a clear mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben pulled his arm away from Hoss while the anger in his face burned from his eyes through to his clenched jaw, continuing on to his balled fists and ramrod stiff posture. He spoke quietly so the other patrons wouldn\u2019t hear. \u201cDon\u2019t you tell me what I should or shouldn\u2019t believe, young man. What you say about people knowing I\u2019d pay anything extends to this situation as well. Suppose they think I wouldn\u2019t pay enough and they just want to insure I\u2019ll give them what they want. They\u2019re horrible people for doing it this way, but they have my son and I WILL get him back with your help or without it!\u201d Ben stood and stormed toward the door of the restaurant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took a few moments for the two brothers to realize what had happened before they could say anything. Finally Joe erupted, \u201cHoss, we gotta do something.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou got that right, little brother. But what?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he walked to the door Ben realized that there was unfinished business back at the table. Retracing his steps, he pulled at his sons\u2019 sleeves so they could hear him as he whispered tersely, \u201cDon\u2019t you two even think of doing anything to ruin this! I will handle it in my own way whether you agree or not. You both have thought Adam was dead from the beginning and I know this isn\u2019t going to change your minds, but let me do this without your judgment.\u201d He let go of their shirts and bade his final parting. \u201cI\u2019ll see you at home later. And remember what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After Ben exited the building, Hoss shook his head sadly, \u201cHe\u2019s running on pure grief, Joe. And I don\u2019t like this one bit, but I suppose we gotta see it through. If we stop it and it was true, I\u2019m not sure whether he\u2019d hate us or himself more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe nodded his agreement. As the scene in the restaurant came to a close, their meals were delivered by an overly cheerful waitress who, on noting their somber faces, laid their plates down and scurried away. Though their appetites had vanished with Ben\u2019s announcement and warning, their stomachs were still empty and they were in no hurry to get home and so lingered over their meals in silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Difference Between an O and a U<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat no trip to the porch today?\u201d Sonny teased.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie managed to get her patient to drink some tea and eat oatmeal, even getting him to take a short walk around the room before he faded. She was giving him honey for the cough, which seemed to help, but despite the successful meal and exercise, she was still nervous.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, come and talk for a bit, will you please?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Returning to her seat by the bed she asked if he needed anything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if sensing that time for conversation was running short, Sonny abruptly asked, \u201cJosie, what happened to your son?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have any children, Sonny.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d He looked at her with a questioning expression and continued, \u201cI just assumed that since you\u2019ve been calling me Sonny, it might be because you once had a child you called by that name.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNope, I was near forty when I married Hiram and while it\u2019s not impossible to have children at that age, we weren\u2019t blessed to have any. How about you, Sonny? Are you remembering a wife or children?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In deep concentration, the young man said, \u201cI don\u2019t feel that I was married. There\u2019s a sense of family, but not of my family\u2014my wife or my children\u2014just a family around me.\u201d He thought more and added, \u201cI\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019m single. But why did you call me Sonny then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie began to laugh. \u201cI think we have a spelling problem my friend. Here all along I\u2019ve been callin\u2019 you Sunny\u2014like the sunshine, and you\u2019ve been hearin\u2019 Sonny\u2014like my kin.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSunny?\u201d he asked incredulously. \u201cWhy? I haven\u2019t known myself very long yet, but hardly see myself as being sunny.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After waiting for his cough to quiet, Josie explained, \u201cRemember how I told you that there was a person who once said something that made a real difference in my life? Well, that\u2019s where it comes from.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand. Please explain,\u201d he ordered as he began coughing again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was still in Boston and trying to decide whether I should come out west, I would walk to the harbor and watch the ships. They looked so big, yet seemed so frail, that I was almost too afraid to think of sailing on one.\u201d At this point, she winked at Sunny and as an aside, said, \u201cYou will notice I\u2019m improving my speech. Thanks to you I\u2019m trying to find those \u2018g\u2019s at the end of words from time to time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve noticed,\u201d he complimented. \u201cNow please continue before I fall asleep and never know how I came to be Sunny.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, one day, I was sitting there on a bench and this older gent sat down next to me. His first words were that it was a beautiful sunny day and while I agreed, I said I thought there was a chance of rain. He patted my hand and told me to just enjoy the sunshine and not worry about the clouds or rain that may or may not come round. As a ship\u2019s captain before he retired, he said he\u2019d spent so much of his life preparing for storms that he forgot how to live when the weather was fair. Turns out he had gone through some hard times. As he got older he lost his commission and it was so hard on him that he ended up hurting people badly and betraying their trust. In a short amount of time he lost his ship, his pride and his family. But here\u2019s the thing, Sunny, he said he\u2019d been to hell and back and through it had learned to appreciate life again and to never take a beautiful day for granted. After talking about my plans a bit, he advised me that if I thought I could make it in the West I should go for it. He said nothing was ever gained by wishing you had done something and that the only way to know how things will turn out is to try. When so many things in his life were taken away, he learned to appreciate the wonderful life he had lived and still had if he appreciated it no matter what the weather.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His parting words advised me to keep my face to the sun and my back to the clouds and worry about rain only when I was actually getting wet. I hung onto those words like a life ring those first years, Sunny. I even wrote a song about it that I sang in the saloon to remind myself that living in the sunshine has nothing to do with the weather. I called it\u00a0Sunny, With a Chance of Rain<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you named me for a song?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSort of, kid,\u201d Josie confided. \u201cTruth is I would have named my own child Sunny if God had seen fit to give me one. You was the next best thing, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSeems that conversation made a big difference in your life. It\u2019s always interesting to find a pearl of great value when you\u2019re least looking for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was one of them moments in time when I paid attention to every word the man said. It was as if while he was telling me his story, he was telling me mine as well\u2014a sort of preparation for something I would find out later. The words just hit my heart and stuck there, and are still as fresh as ever all these years later.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s silence was broken as she remembered, \u201cI saw the old captain again the day I set sail. I was looking over the ship\u2019s rail trying to keep my nerve and not walk back down the plank when I saw him walking with a handsome young man. I hollered and waved and still remember him calling to me as the mates began to drop the ropes, saying to always keep my face to the sun. The captain shared something with the younger man who then smiled and waved as well. Never thought I\u2019d have a sendoff that day, but I did and if I think about it I can still see them both standing there.\u201d Josie stopped to ponder a moment before adding, \u201cNow that I\u2019m telling it, I think that man was a burning bush too.\u201d As Josie looked back at Sunny she realized that had already drifted off before she finished her final thoughts and was sleeping the fidgety, restless sleep of the ill. Rising, she again checked his temperature with the back of her hand and went to get a cool cloth for his forehead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Making Amends<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Joe and Hoss finally got home from town, they found their father sitting at his desk; elbows on the blotter, with his forehead leaning against his steepled fingers. He glanced up, but remained silent as they added their hats to the rack. Moving to the alcove, Joe rested his hip on the corner of Ben\u2019s desk while Hoss walked around it to be closer to his father.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell? Do you have something you need to get off your chests?\u201d inquired Ben in a voice that dared them to ask the question that was undoubtedly gnawing at their minds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNah, Pa.\u201d Hoss always seemed to be the sibling spokesman when it came to saying the very personal things needing to be said. He wasn\u2019t sure why that was, but it was a role he\u2019d accepted. \u201cWe was just wondering if you were still angry at us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben relaxed, pulling back into his chair while crossing his arms over his chest and lifting a leg to rest it on the far corner of the desk. \u201cI wasn\u2019t so much angry at you two as disappointed. We have a chance to get your brother home and my own sons seemed to be suggesting that we not try it for fear that\u2026what\u2026maybe the townfolk will think me crazy if they find out?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa,\u201d soothed Joe, \u201cWe didn\u2019t say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t have to. Don\u2019t you think I\u2019ve heard them talking behind my back in town? Don\u2019t you think I know that I\u2019m considered a fool and a horrible father for not laying my son to rest properly?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we\u2019ve never given any mind to what people have said about us in the past and we aint gonna start now. You know that. We\u2019re not worried about them, Pa, we\u2019re worried about you.\u201d Hoss, as always was able to put their worry into perspective and take the sting away from a bad situation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe we should just drop this conversation and move on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds good to me,\u201d Little Joe remarked as he jerked his head toward the door when Hoss looked at him, indicating they should get outside. \u201cListen pa, we\u2019re going to head out and catch up on a couple of chores. Looked like the barn needs a good cleaning and the horses could use a good scrub down. We saw Hop Sing in town so we know you sent him away until this is over. We\u2019ll just grab something if we\u2019re hungry when we come in later.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was well past nine when the boys finished their time-killing activities and reentered the house. They were in no mood to continue the conversation about their father\u2019s plan to acquiesce to the demands of those who were supposedly \u201chelping\u201d Adam and were relieved to find that he had already gone upstairs. Their father had always been the king of his castle and most times things were done according to his will; most times that will was shaped by common sense and logic. But tonight, his sons felt that those words were lost in a haze of need and grief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beware of Flying Rocks<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe sat at the table while Ben wore a rut in the wood floor between the door and his desk. It was now nearly 8 AM and Ben had been up at least four hours by the boy\u2019s reckoning. They heard his pacing and finally a bump on the door around six, when they had finally gotten up to see if a message regarding the exchange of money for a son had arrived along with that thump.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was two hours ago, and the message delivered by the rock had said to have a wagon and the money ready, as they\u2019d be in touch soon. Ben had refused the boy\u2019s attempts to assist him in getting prepared, so they mostly sat around staring at each other with the frequent exchange of raised eyebrows, shaking heads or shoulder lifts; all indicating their absolute loss as to what to do or how to help.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRemember, you two will stay out of sight if they come personally to get me rather than sending a message,\u201d Ben told his sons for what seemed like the hundredth time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem,\u201d reassured Hoss. \u201cAnd we won\u2019t follow you either. We got it, Pa. We really got it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No more than ten minutes later there was a knock that sent all three Cartwrights moving. Hoss and Joe retreated to the downstairs bedroom where they watched from behind the curtains, while Ben prepared himself for whatever was to come.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben opened the door to a scruffy looking cowboy with worn out clothes and an even more worn out grin. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I presume,\u201d he sprayed through rotting teeth. \u201cGot the cash?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly,\u201d Ben replied with as much bravado as he could muster. \u201cBut before I give you anything I will want to see my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe \u2018spected so. If you\u2019ll follow me with the wagon, we\u2019ll go get him and you can pay us then. By the way, be sure to bring the money.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll get your money after I see my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The boys watched as Ben left the house with the stranger and headed the wagon away from the ranch. Hoss was sure that Little Joe could hear his heart beating as he asked. \u201cDo we follow Pa, even though we said we wouldn\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course we follow him,\u201d hissed Joe. \u201cWe\u2019re not gonna let them do something to Pa while we hide in this bedroom.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just not like Pa to go off this way. I just don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019re the one who said it; Pa isn\u2019t thinking anymore. He hasn\u2019t eaten or slept for so long that he\u2019s running on pure emotion, not sense or truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head sorrowfully, \u201cI did notice that Pa is looking thin and even a might frail. His gun belt is tighter by at least two holes and his clothes kinda hang loose on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re gonna have to help him Hoss, before it\u2019s too late for all of us. We\u2019ll give them a head start, then follow the tracks.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Hoss offered tentatively. \u201cWhat if they really do have Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be the happiest moment of my life. Truly it would, Hoss.\u201d Joe produced a half-hearted smile and added, \u201cBut you and I both know that ain\u2019t happening today, don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben followed the rider onto the lane he knew led to the line shack in the western pasture area.\u00a0So they\u2019ve been keeping him right under my nose!<\/em>\u00a0Even though Ben Cartwright was moving on pure adrenalin and caffeine, he\u2019d still had the wherewithal to hide his money in a pouch secured beneath the buckboard\u2019s seat. He wasn\u2019t about to carry cash on himself if this turned out to be a hoax.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After seemingly hours en route, Ben could finally see the form of the line shack take shape in the distance. His heart was beating so rapidly that he was having trouble breathing normally, but his demeanor gave no hint of the excitement raging inside his body and mind. Tonight his firstborn would sleep under his roof and his life would be whole again. Nothing else mattered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rider and Ben were hailed from the door of the shack by the apparent spokesperson for the group while others emerged from the around the sides of the structure. Ben didn\u2019t recognize any of them and assumed they were drifters who happened upon the crash site soon after it happened. He hoped Adam\u2019s injuries were not life threatening since he figured this groups of miscreants would have a hard time keeping a sick cow alive, much less a sick man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome Mr. Cartwright. A pleasure to have your company at our humble abode,\u201d spoke the man from the doorway.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cInteresting interpretation of facts sir,\u201d replied Ben, \u201csince this is my land and my \u2018abode.\u2019 But let\u2019s not argue details. Is my son inside?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSlow down Mr.\u201d he sneered. \u201cI\u2019ll be seein\u2019 that money before you\u2019ll be seein\u2019 anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe money is nearby and I\u2019ll tell you where it is as soon as I see my boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man in the door motioned for the rider to bring Ben inside, saying, \u201cMake this quick old man, we got places to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben felt blind inside until his eyes adjusted to the dusty darkness of the small interior. He could make out the table and the makeshift cupboard with supplies to use if the ranch hands needed shelter. These kidnappers\u2014or whatever they were\u2014had obviously helped themselves to the food stores since the floor was littered with empty cans. As Ben\u2019s eyes moved around the room, he finally found what he was looking for; the shape of a man covered and lying on the lower cot of the bunk. Hurrying over to the form, Ben knelt on one knee to roll Adam over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSon,\u201d he said quietly as he began to turn him. \u201cLet\u2019s get you ho\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s words were interrupted when the man that faced him from the bed, flashed a pistol and an evil grin, \u201cThem people in town said you were crazy old man, but we had to see just how crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about? Where\u2019s my son,\u201d Ben shouted at the Satan before him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no son, you old coot. We just said we had him to make a nice couple-a\u2019 bucks. People said you\u2019d pay anything for that kid and they was right! We shoulda asked for more!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The whole gang was now standing around Ben laughing as the leader asked, \u201cNow about that 10,000 dollars. We\u2019ll be needin\u2019 that anyway.\u201d After searching Ben, the one they all called Haskell yelled, \u201cHe aint\u2019 got the cash on him!\u201d Turning Ben towards him, he spat, \u201cWhere\u2019s the money old man?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was defeated. He knew he\u2019d let his grief get the better of his mind and at that moment had no will to go on fighting. \u201cYou\u2019ll get nothing. Kill me if you want to, but leave me alone and get off my property.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell Mr. Cartwright,\u201d Haskell drawled, \u201cIt ain\u2019t quite that simple. See, you mighten not be getting\u2019 your one son back ever again, cuz he\u2019s deader n a doornail.\u201d He laughed in an evil, ugly way before continuing, \u201cBut iffen you don\u2019t give us the money, we\u2019ll let you live, but make sure you won\u2019t be seeing them other two boys ever again either.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked like he\u2019d been kicked in the gut as he paled with the stark fact that not only had he failed to look at this situation rationally where he was concerned, he had endangered Hoss and Joe as well. \u201cIt\u2019s in the wagon. I\u2019ll get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stepping out into the sun-drenched day, Ben realized for the first time that spring had arrived. He thought how odd it was that the entire world was greening with life, as his own life got more deadly black by the second. The money was nothing\u2014probably a small price for the lesson he\u2019d learned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While being shoved forward by the gun in his back, he heard Joe\u2019s whistling birdcall break the silence. Relief washed over him as he gave thanks that his sons were disobedient as usual. Speaking loudly enough to be heard across the clearing where the boys were hiding, he remarked, \u201cThe money is under the wagon. I\u2019ll get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben ducked under the shelter of the wagon as Hoss yelled out for the armed men to drop their weapons. Joe looked at his brother, shouting, \u201cNow when has that EVER worked?\u201d and began shooting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two of the gang fell immediately while the others ran for the shelter of the shack. During the commotion Ben slipped deeper into the protection of the wagon. In preparing for the ransom exchange, Ben had placed a rifle and ammunition into an open area above the axel. He may have been in the throes of grief-induced, bad decision-making at the time, but Ben was never caught completely off guard. With rifle in hand he began providing cover so the boys could move up on the shack. Joe went right, while Hoss went left \u2013 effectively dividing the occupants\u2019 attention. Meanwhile Ben began to move forward toward the door using a well-placed kick to break the latch. He immediately fell back behind the protection of the jamb and picked off another shooter as he ran out the door. That left only two of the group inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Knowing they were outnumbered now, Haskell yelled, \u201cHey we\u2019re comin\u2019 out. Stop shootin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben roared that they should throw their guns out and put their hands behind their heads as they exited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe came around the front of the shack to grab Haskell and his remaining man; tying their hands, while Ben checked the interior to make sure it was clear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTake them to town and turn them over to Sheriff Coffee,\u201d Ben growled toward his sons.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once the boys and the two thieves were mounted, Ben motioned his sons to come near. \u201cYou know what to tell Roy. I\u2019m heading home and will send some hands back out here to bury the dead, get the rest of the horses and clean up.\u201d Ben\u2019s body language spoke of defeat so complete that he seemed to have lost his form. \u201cHoss, after you finish with Roy, go make arrangements with Pastor Davis for Adam\u2019s funeral on Friday. And Joseph, once you get Hoss and these two to town, you ride on out to tell the Bakers of the plans. It\u2019s time we get this finished.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what are you gonna do after you get home?\u201d asked Hoss with concern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to mourn my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What Does it Matter<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The week dragged on eternally as the funeral details were finalized, and yet the finality of the Friday service made everyone wish the day would never come. The residents of the Ponderosa moved past and around each other while seldom exchanging other than basic conversation. Work continued, meals were eaten, and the Cartwrights slept and rose without acknowledging the grief laying over them like a low floating fog.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A knock on the door Thursday afternoon found Edward Baker with the news that his family had arrived in Virginia City for the service and were staying at the International House. Ben invited the Bakers to stay with them, but Edward gave his thanks and apologies for choosing to stay elsewhere. \u201cWe know you are in no mood to receive guests at this time,\u201d he explained. \u201cIf you all feel anything like we do you want your privacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss, Ben and Joe sat briefly with Edward and asked after his family. When the niceties were completed, Ben asked the question each Cartwright wanted to hear answered. \u201cHave you found any further evidence of Jake\u2019s travels the day of the accident? Joe told us there was nothing when he stopped to see you earlier this week, but of course we\u2019re anxious to know if anything else has happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Nothing.\u201d Edward shook his head in physical confirmation. \u201cWe rode that stretch so many times that we\u2019ve pretty much scoured every inch and there is no evidence that he was ever there. We even went back to see Toby but he had nothing else to offer. I guess our feeling is that because he was ill, Jake got too far off the path and ended up somewhere we\u2019ll never find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how is your father holding up?\u201d inquired Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAbout as you\u2019d expect, sir. Not so well, but he is learning to deal with the fact that Jake is not coming home. He notified the railroad now and we\u2019re all going out to San Francisco next month to have a service with relatives who still live there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben shook the young man\u2019s hand as he rose to leave. \u201cThank you for dropping by, son. We\u2019ll see you tomorrow at the church. Make sure your family knows that there will be lunch at the hotel after the service, and we\u2019ll have time to talk then.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Edward\u2019s dust trail was well settled before any of the men turned to go back inside. It seemed no one wanted to face the empty blue chair, the empty hat peg or the books Adam had left on the shelves awaiting his return. Little Joe decided to head for the barn, while Hoss and Ben moved to the porch area, taking seats at the table there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Clearing his throat, Hoss steeled his nerve to ask the question he knew would be posed many times the following day: A question he felt he needed to know the answer to as well. \u201cPa, do you believe that it was Adam on that stage? Are you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it matter what I believe, Hoss? Will it make any difference?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt matters to me, Pa,\u201d Hoss replied tenderly. \u201cI just want to know if you can find some peace now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll never have peace about this Hoss. I think you know that. But on the other hand, by not dealing with it, I exposed this family\u2014you and Joe in particular\u2014to what could have been a horrible situation. I need to do this so everyone will leave us alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m powerfully sad, Pa, but I figure there\u2019s no other explanation now that we have most of the facts. We can\u2019t keep hopin\u2019 that he\u2019ll come home \u2018cause it\u2019s too hard to go forward when you\u2019re still stuck in memories and doubts…\u201d After a moment of quiet Hoss added. \u201cPa, thank you for asking me to talk tomorrow. I know I ain\u2019t got the prettiest words in this family, but, well, for Adam I\u2019d do anything. I been workin\u2019 on something with Joe that I think he\u2019d like. It\u2019s taken every bit of brain power we got to figure it all out, but it was like he was helpin\u2019 us do it, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019ll do a fine job, Hoss. You always looked up to Adam, but he admired you too. He often spoke of your gifts in seeing who needed help and how best to give it. I remember talking once with him when he told me that you helped him see things in himself that even he couldn\u2019t. He loved you very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss made a quick swipe at his eyes with his shirt sleeve before saying, \u201cI\u2019m gonna go see what that younger brother of mine is up to.\u201d Hoss moved off toward the barn leaving Ben alone on the porch with his memories and doubts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny, With A Chance of Rain<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While taking a break outside, Josie noted that spring had arrived. She recognized several varieties of birds that were unseen just days before, and the buds on the trees and bushes were swollen to the point of bursting. There\u2019d been rain during the nights while Sunny had been with her, but most days were sun filled and spectacular with breezes blowing down the Sierras, driving out the dead of winter and leaving freshness in its wake. But this year Josie was not feeling her usual exhilaration at the coming of spring because each passing day took her one-day closer to losing Sunny. She knew that if he recovered, she would have to take him to find his past, while the other option of his leaving was too horrible to consider. As it stood, each of his coughing spells reinforced her feeling that a crisis point was coming sooner than later. As she sat watching and listening to life returning around her, she replayed the conversations she had enjoyed when Sunny was awake when they had spoken of life, love, and happiness. Over the last week she\u2019d made him do some activity to \u201cearn\u201d each conversation and time spent reading or discussing the stories, but the truth was that they both enjoyed the game. Even though she was far behind in her own spring chores, there was not a moment over these days that she regretted. She felt that she should get him to a doctor now instead of treating him here. But it was such a puzzle. He might find help in town, but the trip might kill him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His condition had never been sturdy enough to go through the jostling and miserable ride required to get to Virginia City, and even if they would make it, she knew medicine was unable to help what was plaguing him now. She had taken Hiram to a doctor; same with her parents, and yet in the end there was nothing more to do than what she was already doing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The relentless coughing followed by the breathlessness and wheezing exploded again from inside the house. The few times Sunny woke now she pushed him to drink, and made him sit up and stand\u2014taking at least a few steps each day just to keep him moving. But for the last 24 hours, Sunny lay there; sometimes fighting for each breath and Josie knew each one was laden with pain. Looking up at the cloudless sky, she spoke quietly, \u201cGo ahead God; mock me! I know the rain is out there just over the hills. Bring it on why don\u2019t you! You\u2019re the one that started this bush to blazing, so you gotta be the one that puts the flame out too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie jumped as she heard her name drifting from the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Standing in the doorway she asked with a drollness she didn\u2019t really feel, \u201cYou called?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019ve you been? I\u2019ve been awake for quite some time and was wondering why you weren\u2019t badgering me to do things.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust getting\u2019 some fresh air, child. What did you think I was doin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny winked at her and took on a conspirital tone as he remarked, \u201cThought maybe you were lookin\u2019 for some of those g\u2019s you\u2019ve been droppin\u2019 out there all these years. Must be a pile of them somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYa know, Sunny,\u201d Josie remarked in mock seriousness, \u201cI\u2019ve been takin\u2019 care of you for more than three weeks already. I\u2019ve washed your head and your backside and I swear I\u2019ve not noted horns nor a tail, but sure as I live, I\u2019m checking again, \u2018cuz they gotta be there somewhere!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny laughed and then remembered why he was looking for her. \u201cHey Josie! You never sang the song you wrote. Please sing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie heard the request but remained silent for a moment as she considered her comeback. \u201cYou\u2019re just having one of those fever-induced ideas, Sunny,\u201d she laughed. \u201cYou don\u2019t really want to hear that old yarn.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny was feeling very hot and laughed inwardly now, thinking about the time a few weeks backs when he would have given anything to be warm while now he just longed to remember what being cold felt like. \u201cYou may be right, my dear,\u201d he pronounced in dramatic fashion, \u201cHowever, I find myself unable to sleep and thought a song\u2014especially if it was a bad one\u2014could perhaps assist me on my quest to find rest.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moving to the bed, Josie bent and began rubbing the top of Sunny\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d he asked with concern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust looking for those horns. Maybe I just missed them earlier.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny caught Josie\u2019s hand with his left one, as his now healed shoulder responded to his will. \u201cPlease,\u201d was all he managed to utter before being caught in a paroxysm of coughing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, you asked for it. But you have to get the full effect.\u201d Looking around, she grabbed the fire poker and laid it over her shoulder, explaining, \u201cI used to sing this while holding a parasol, but this will have to do.\u201d She moved to the center of the room and cleared the chairs and furniture that would get in the way once she started her performance. Returning to the bed, she propped the poker against the foot end and told her patient, \u201cYou know there is always a payment required in this house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019am. I\u2019m well aware of that.\u201d Sunny was surely aware of that as he thought back to each conversation they\u2019d had. Each talk was predicated by some \u201cpayment\u201d on his part. He either had to sit, walk, drink or eat in order to partake of the mental stimulation he so craved. Sunny marveled again that this prairie philosopher had him so well pegged that she knew he would do anything to participate in a lively discussion or have her read from some of the \u201cclassic\u201d books she had purchased from a peddler. The discussions had indeed been lively as they covered everything from state\u2019s right and slavery of all kinds, to the Bible, and women\u2019s rights. Other times Sunny had simply enjoyed listening to Josie\u2019s peaceful voice reading from the pages of the books she owned but never felt smart enough to read. Of course Josie had continued to marvel at all that he knew and the opinions he held while not knowing the very basics of his own personage. She once told him that he seemed less upset by not knowing who he was than by not being able to use his mind. He had to agree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo what is the payment today, boss?\u201d he inquired after regaining his composure following another bout of coughing that left him worn out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie sadly realized that his strength was lessening by the hour while the fever that had come and gone in past days, now remained high, and the cough continued to wage war in his chest. \u201cDrink at least a cup of tea with honey, \u2018honey,\u2019\u201d she laughed. The pot of tea she had brewed earlier was still warm and easily readied. After propping Sunny up on the chair back as she had done before, she handed him the tea and ordered him to drink.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough stalling. Let\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie resumed her place at the center of the room and stood in a coy pose, twirling the poker on her shoulder. For a moment, Josie remembered the hot, dirty saloon where she had been forced to perform while filthy men ogled her and called out their basest desires. Yet as awful as it had been, there had been solace in it as well. Her singing had let her touch others in ways she couldn\u2019t while moving among the half-drunk patrons hustling drinks. But looking at Sunny now, she realized again what those few years had taken from her and wondered anew just what her life was about and whether it could still mean something more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnytime now Josie,\u201d he prodded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Blinking several times to pull herself from her trance-like state, she smiled and began with the introductory part of her song:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a truth in life, I\u2019ve found,<\/p>\n

That what you give comes back around,<\/p>\n

So why spend time creatin\u2019 pain,<\/p>\n

Forever searching after rain<\/p>\n

When overhead the sky is blue<\/p>\n

And the whole dang world\u2019s in need of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie now stepped into the dance of her routine as she spun both herself and the parasol substitute, ending at the front of her stage area. She leaned onto the poker and launched into the main part of the song.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not stay sunny, and feel life\u2019s glow,<\/p>\n

And send your lovin\u2019 out to all you know.<\/p>\n

Why not stay sunny, and share a smile,<\/p>\n

With someone who ain\u2019t seen one in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s never easy to feel the sun<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re too busy being glum.<\/p>\n

Try some happiness on for size.<\/p>\n

And give your life a big surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie continued to dance and twirl, using her arms in gestures to emphasize the lyrics, just as she had in the saloon. At this point she figured that if Sunny was going to think her a fool she didn\u2019t want him to do it half way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019ll be those who laugh at you,<\/p>\n

And say your brain has come unglued.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll tell you get inside it\u2019s gonna rain,<\/p>\n

And all of life is filled with pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie revved up for the finale.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been told that I\u2019ll forget<\/p>\n

Living in the sun, and yet<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve not even one regret<\/p>\n

And still ain\u2019t ever gotten wet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I\u2019ll stay sunny, yes oh so sunny \u2013 even if there is a chance of rain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Josie finished with a repeat of the chorus line while laying the poker parasol over her shoulder followed by a curtsy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny said nothing, but smiled broadly. Unfortunately Josie was already turning away from him by then.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot quite\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>, huh?\u201d Josie said huskily, turning to keep Sunny from seeing the tears that had gathered. Hastily replacing the poker by the fireplace she exited the house and ran to the barn where she held onto the loft ladder and began to sob. She had never felt foolish or cheap when she sang in San Francisco, but this time, she felt all that and more: things she had never felt before\u2014judgment, doubt and shame. She thought to herself that Sunny wouldn\u2019t understand. He was a man of intelligence with powerful words and thoughts. He would have known how to say what she was trying to without looking foolish doing it. She had learned so much from him in these weeks together and now she felt he would only see her as an uneducated prostitute that fancied herself a songwriter. Stifling her sobs for a moment, she listened carefully for the sound she thought she\u2019d heard. There it was again and this time there was no mistaking it: thunder.\u00a0Well isn\u2019t that just the icing on the cake.\u00a0<\/em>It hadn\u2019t stormed in weeks, but now it was about to throw down thunder and lighting just when she needed the sun more than ever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More Than a Fair Weather Friend<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tears had stopped but Josie remained fixed to the ladder. She jumped, letting out a small shriek at feeling hands on her shoulders. Turning, she was flummoxed to see Sunny standing there, although his stance was so precarious as to seem like a slow motion fall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSunny! How did you get out here?\u201d she questioned as she reached to support him. \u201cMaybe a better question is why did you come out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t ask so many damn questions Josie,\u201d he coughed. \u201cHelp me sit down and we\u2019ll take them one at a time. What do you want to know most?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Josie helped Sunny to sit, he noticed her tears and ran his thumb across her cheek. \u201cWhat\u2019s this? I thought you didn\u2019t cry,\u201d he teased. \u201cIsn\u2019t one of your song lines about never having gotten wet?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ignoring that particular comment, Josie demanded, \u201cWhat are you doing out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny\u2019s breathing caused his reply to come in clipped segments. \u201cYou left in a hurry\u2026 I could tell you were upset\u2026.didn\u2019t know why\u2026what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Sunny, why would you need to ask that? I made a fool of myself singin\u2019 that stupid song like it meant somethin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, didn\u2019t it mean somethin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTo me maybe. But not to someone who knows so much about so many things. You know Latin, for cryin\u2019 out loud. What would make me think that my bar song would mean anything to you? I embarrassed myself. That\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie! As a philosopher I\u2019ve grown to like very much\u2026.once said, \u2018don\u2019t go\u2026shyin\u2019 on me now! You\u2019ve trusted me so far\u2026\u2019 Where\u2019s the fighter\u2026that I first met? Why do you doubt yourself now?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence. Sunny began to shiver violently while the barn darkened and chilled when the storm hit. The barn door slammed shut and open with the wind, and rain seemed to be blowing nearly sideways. \u201cPlease Josie. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re why,\u201d she finally admitted as she grabbed a blanket from the saddle area and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders. \u201cI guess I feel so much love for you that I wouldn\u2019t ever want to have you embarrassed or disappointed at my simple ways.\u201d She laughed as she realized her profession of love. \u201cDon\u2019t worry child, my love isn\u2019t the flowery or romantic kind. I love you as the son I never had, and as a teacher and a friend. But I\u2019ve got no designs on you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you think I\u2019d judge you?\u201d he managed to question as he shook.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot so much judge me, as find me ignorant and lacking.\u201d Grabbing his shoulders, Josie brought him to a standing position. \u201cThe rain\u2019s passed already. We\u2019ve got to get you inside and warm.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two friends made their way across the yard in painful slowness with Josie holding her patient up. There were frequent stops to allow Sunny to catch his breath, but they were both satisfied that he actual made it on his own two feet, even if those two feet were bare and muddy, requiring a quick bucket dunking before going in the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once settled back into the comfort of his bed he grabbed Josie and ordered, \u201cSit!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to rest more than talk now,\u201d she soothed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can rest for eternity, Josie, but not without telling you my side of the story.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t talk so foolish, Sunny. You\u2019ll live to be an old man.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s eyes betrayed her words, but Sunny didn\u2019t have to be told that he was in trouble. \u201cJosie, we both feel a spirit of death hovering over this house. I know I have pneumonia and whether I recover or not is pretty much up to God. You\u2019ve been incredible. I don\u2019t remember any doctoring from my past, but know in my heart that you have done everything that a trained professional would have. And there is nothing about you that\u2019s ignorant or lacking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie thanked him and tried to rise but Sunny held her hands with a strength she didn\u2019t know he had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, your song\u2026\u201d The coughing, while almost continuous earlier, had eased as Sunny spoke softly and was able to tell this woman what was in his heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>, but then what song is? It was written by a saint for heaven\u2019s sake, and I don\u2019t know any saints. Most of us are sinners just trying to make it through life as best we can. For all its beauty and the wonder of the melody, 99 percent of those who hear it have no clue what\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>\u00a0is about. Many who can sing it in Latin still have no idea what it means. It\u2019s a spiritual experience, but not one that people walk away from knowing a better way to act or how to treat one another.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Catching his breath a bit, Sunny continued, \u201cNow as it comes to you: you were brought up simply, but there\u2019s nothing simple about you. You heard me say the English words of\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>\u00a0just once and figured out in an instant what they meant. Others struggle for years overanalyzing it rather than feeling the words. I can remember the words of a writer named, von Goethe, who said, \u2018All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over honestly, till they take root in our own personal experience.\u2019 That\u2019s your life story. You\u2019ve been through some horrible things, but only seem to remember the goodness that surrounded the evil. You met a person once whose words so thoroughly impressed you that you brought them into your life and made them real. The song, Josie\u2026 What I heard was how you learned that kindness or evil moves from person to person, creating circles of good or harm. You say that no one should ever tell another person how to live, and encourage us to just look for the good in everyone. And you end with your philosophy that you\u2019ll only know trouble when you start looking for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy song said all that?\u201d Josie was beaming from ear to ear. \u201cThank you Sunny. In my heart that\u2019s what I hoped it said, but it feels so dang good to hear it voiced by you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJosie, some of the people hearing you sing on the Barbary Coast were drunk and really heard nothing.\u201d They both chuckled at the truth of the statement. \u201cBut others heard it every time they came in and maybe even sang the parts they could remember later on. It\u2019s not always our fortune to see how we\u2019ve affected others, but I would bet there are many who\u2019ve experienced a Josie-induced epiphany in their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny released Josie\u2019s hands as she embraced him. His arms wrapped around her as he felt a sense of pure, unquestioning love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The embrace was shattered by a fit of coughing that would not be calmed. It continued on until Josie noted blood on the handkerchief he was using. Each series of coughs added to the growing red blotch and Josie\u2019s hope began to darken just as the sky had earlier.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSunny, we\u2019ve got to get you to town. Maybe a doctor can do something more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s fine Josie,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI won\u2019t make it to town. I\u2019m just so tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSunny, please. I\u2019ve been wondering why no one has come looking for someone like you, and can only figure they think you\u2019re already dead or don\u2019t know you\u2019re missing. We\u2019ve got to try to get to Virginia City. Someone there may know who you are. You can\u2019t die without knowing that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A single tear slid from the corner of Sunny\u2019s eye as he corrected her. \u201cJosie, I don\u2019t know who I was but I know who I am right now, and that\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t say that Sunny. I thank you for it, but somewhere there\u2019s a family who wants\u2014no, needs you back. We\u2019ve got to find them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been with my family in my dreams, Josie,\u201d he whispered. \u201cThere are no faces, but I hear laughter and wisdom and authority. I am convinced they will be fine without me because they still have each other.\u201d Sunny\u2019s eyes slipped closed: his face taking on an ethereal quality.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie dropped to Sunny\u2019s chest, listening for a heartbeat or breathing. Finding both, albeit weak, she sprang into action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Saying Goodbye<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe and Hoss decided they wouldn\u2019t wear black to the funeral. Black was Adam\u2019s color and it never signified sorrow, so they didn\u2019t want to put that onus on it now. The two brothers recalled how they had teased him when he first began the switch to wearing all black about a year earlier. Joe reminded Hoss of the day Adam had calmly responded by saying that he preferred black because it cleaned up so easily. Then he had demonstrated that by simply removing his shirt: which he did, and giving it a good snap, which he also did, the dust \u201cjust flies away leaving the shirt looking fresh.\u201d Of course he\u2019d directed the snap and dust cloud it created, directly into their faces to make his point. Adding insult to injury, as they stood coughing and rubbing their eyes, he had pointed out how unsightly their white and beige shirts looked covered in dust. He\u2019d concluded, \u201cThere\u2019s no way a bit of simple tidying on your parts can ever make you two presentable.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe further recalled that the \u201cdiscussion\u201d had ended with Joe and Adam on the ground wrestling after Joe remarked, \u201cCome on Adam, we know you just want to look like that preacher friend of yours, Dave Clayton. If you add one of Pa\u2019s starched white collars to yer neck and button up all the way, maybe you can get them ladies at the saloon to take you aside and make their confessions!\u201d Joe laughed again as he remembered the scuffle. \u201cI think Adam had been taking a lot of poking about the same thought when he was in town and he took his frustration out on me. Of course I didn\u2019t think it was all that bad an idea myself and couldn\u2019t understand why it upset him so much.\u201d With further thought he added, \u201cMaybe he was feelin\u2019 protective of Dave more \u2018n himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss had agreed that was probably true then added, \u201cOur older brother usually looked like he had a coating of dust on those black duds, but he was right; a few slaps and swats to get the dust moving and he was ready.\u201d With a sly grin he added, \u201cIt was that darned hat that always did him in though. Remember Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe laughed as he recalled, \u201cYeah that felt Stetson held onto dust like a magnet. I doubt many of the hands knew that Adam carried a brush in his saddlebag when we were on drives to clean that doggone hat up before we went into a town. Course you never caught him doing it because it would have disproved his theory on the wonders of black. But somehow he always managed to sneak away and get it done before we headed out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The brothers had shared a good laugh, but were overtaken by silence as the happy memories accentuated the loss with the knowledge that \u201cmemories\u201d were all they had.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the end they decided to wear white shirts and string ties with their everyday coats, feeling it would seem more like sending Adam off on a trip rather than saying goodbye to him forever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben found his sons waiting by the door when he finally made his way downstairs. He too had favored his leather vest over a white shirt rather than his Sunday suit. \u201cLooks like we\u2019re set,\u201d he remarked as he grabbed his hat. \u201cIt\u2019s strange,\u201d he remarked randomly, \u201cNo one ever found Adam\u2019s hat in the wreckage. Wonder what ever happened to it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was the first out the door, while Ben and Joe lingered inside. \u201cI know this is a hard day for you, pa,\u201d the youngest boy offered, \u201cBut we\u2019ll be there with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wrapping his arm around Little Joe, Ben thanked him. \u201cThis has been hard for all of us, Joseph. Don\u2019t think I\u2019ve forgotten that each of us has lost him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two men stepped out into the bright spring day that was warmed by the sun and gentled by a cool breeze. Mounting their horses Ben moved out ahead. Turning back to his sons he said, \u201cLet\u2019s go say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Abide With Me<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Apparently the whole of Virginia City was trying to pack into the church for the service. The standing-room-only crowd flowed out the doors, and even the windows had been opened so people might try to hear the proceedings from outside. The Baker family was already seated when Ben and the boys entered. Both friends and those curious souls who never missed a funeral, proffered nods, salutes and tears as Hoss, Joe and Ben made their way forward. While moved by the outpouring of affection, Ben wholly wished he were anywhere but there. He had wanted more than anything for this service to be at the lake by Marie\u2019s grave\u2014an intimate family affair rather than this large spectacle, but the service was held in town on the advice of Sheriff Coffee and Pastor Davis. Not many people knew about the events associated with the bogus claim that Adam was alive, yet Roy figured there was still plenty of speculation over what had transpired. He felt a public service would show everyone that Ben had come to terms with Adam\u2019s death and could prevent any further attempts to bother the Cartwrights. Pastor Davis agreed with Roy and also felt it would let those in town grieve the loss of a well-respected young man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reverend Davis rose to begin the service, inviting everyone to sing\u00a0Abide With Me***<\/em>\u00a0as best they could. He had printed the words on a board placed at the front of the church, explaining that the song was still so new that it wasn\u2019t in the hymnals yet. They were using it today because Adam had purchased the sheet music and sent it to him to add to the church\u2019s hymn library after hearing it during a service in Sacramento just weeks before the accident. He told the group that Adam had written that he thought highly of the song, and so they would sing it now as a tribute for him. The pastor didn\u2019t share all the contents of the note that arrived with the music.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had written that the simple beauty of the lyrics had moved him while the melody was simple enough for most vocal ranges to handle. He thought it could be used as an alternative to the standard hymns that were done at funerals, and he had quipped that it might \u201coffer some new life to death.\u201d As Pastor Davis had prepared before the service, he thought again about the note and spoke quietly to the spirit of his friend. \u201cWell, Adam, I guess we\u2019ll see if you were right. But you surely didn\u2019t have to die to prove it. We could have found another way to try it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The organist began playing then, and she and the pastor carried the song for the first verse while those present listened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
\nthe darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
\nWhen other helpers fail and comforts flee,
\nHelp of the helpless, O abide with me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More voices joined as the second verse began, and by the last stanza the church resounded with voices praising God in the midst of grief:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
\nills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
\nWhere is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
\nI triumph still, if thou abide with me.<\/p>\n

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
\nshine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
\nHeaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
\nin life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Moving to the pulpit as the song ended, the pastor read from Isaiah 40:31: \u201cBut those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The service then took a turn toward remembrance with Pastor Davis recalling all those whose lives came to an end on that April Tuesday; Nancy Portland, Hank Moss, Adam Cartwright, and Jake Baker. Jake\u2019s name was included after speaking with Matthew Baker to ascertain his position as to Jake\u2019s whereabouts. Matthew had assured the pastor that they believed Jake had died that day as well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pastor was able to share things he had heard about each of those who had perished. Nancy had many friends in town who were happy to recall her as a sweet woman who always helped a friend, while Hank was remembered for his care and concern for each passenger on his stage. Along with Jake, they were each thought of as wonderful people who were loved and missed by many.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With his general thoughts completed, Pastor Davis began to speak about Adam, recalling him as intelligent, faithful, and kind beyond description. Adam had been an inquisitive, attentive child who grew up experiencing the joy of exploration and the sadness of loss, along with the responsibility that came with each. There were things that Adam trusted in most: \u201cGod, his father, family, knowledge, truth, love and law. Adam always stood by the principles that each of these added to his life while confronting those things that stood against what he cherished. He found himself at odds with individuals and at times, even the town over matters that tested his resolve in his beliefs, but he always stood true.\u201d The preacher finally noted to laughter from those assembled, that \u201cAdam was not shy about commenting on my sermons; often taking time to challenge me on points of scripture either through hand delivered notes, or \u2018discussions\u2019 after the service.\u201d But, the pastor had enjoyed each challenge, saying that they made him a better servant of God; a better scholar of scripture and most importantly, gave him ample opportunity to practice patience. He concluded his remarks by remembering a man of principle and love who would be dearly missed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNow,\u201d Pastor Davis offered, \u201cWe will hear a few words from Adam\u2019s brother, Hoss, who has asked to share his thoughts today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss moved to the pulpit with knees that were knocking, but was heartened by the sea of faces smiling back at him. Turning to his father, Hoss saw Ben smile and give him a nod of encouragement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With an impish grin, Hoss began: \u201cMy older brother Adam once told me that I wasn\u2019t the wordsmith of our family but that I spoke the truth. Since I didn\u2019t know what that meant, he told me I had to go look it up. Adam was like that, ya know. He always said that a mind had to keep challengin\u2019 itself to stay alive. I didn\u2019t know what he meant back when he said it, but figured it out because he showed me. Adam never stopped learning. Joe and I never understood why after he made it through all that schoolin\u2019, he still wanted to spend his spare time readin\u2019. We figured he should\u2019ve learned enough by that time, but he always had his nose in a book. Anyway, I think what Adam was tryin\u2019 to tell me that day was that I didn\u2019t always put words together so purty, but that I made a lot of sense and I should never stop sayin\u2019 what was in my heart. So that\u2019s what I\u2019m gonna try to do today.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A quick flick of his handkerchief across his forehead was the only indication that Hoss was having a hard time with his eulogy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta say it\u2019s hard to believe Adam is gone, and I wasn\u2019t sure what to say about it. I wanted to tell y\u2019all how much he meant to me, but couldn\u2019t figure out where to start or how to speak of his death. Then Joe and I went to Adam\u2019s room, and just like always, he gave us the answer, even though we had to look for it. Goin\u2019 through his books and papers we found a tablet where he had written several quotes about dyin\u2019. We figured they was from books he\u2019d read and while I couldn\u2019t imagine readin\u2019 all them books, much less keepin\u2019 thoughts on \u2018em, Adam did. Since he wrote these things down, it made us inclined to think he might like it if we read them now. This was a tough one for me. It took me longer just to ponder on what them lines was saying than most anything I\u2019ve ever done, but I think I got it. I thank Joe for all his help and Miss Jones for helping to make sure I got the names and words right.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While most people think of a church as a place of quiet, there is a constant din of noise throughout a service. People cough, blow their nose and shift positions; children cry, talk and move about while parents try to stop them with loud whispers and hissed threats. There is even the occasional snore during a sermon. But as Hoss looked down to check the notes he\u2019d placed on the podium, he realized that in this packed church, there was complete silence. He looked up, first sending a personal invitation heavenward, then began:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis first thought was written by Mark Twain. You might remember that he and Adam got to know each other pretty fast when Adam\u2019s right hook connected with Sam\u2019s chin.\u201d Heads nodded and looks exchanged as they remembered Samuel Clemens\u2019 stint at the Territorial Enterprise. \u201cHe wrote, \u2018Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race. He brought death into this world<\/em>.\u2019 We figured this must have tickled Adam pretty good since the quote was underlined about six times. Who knows, there may have been a hidden message for our brother in that one. But to us this means that man can\u2019t go on forever and that death is a necessary end to life. All I know is that I wish Adam\u2019s life had continued on a whole lot longer. Pa has always said that we can\u2019t wish to take someone else\u2019s place in death; that it comes as it\u2019s meant to. But Joe and I would have given our life for our brother at any time or place.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss paused for a deep breath and then continued:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLongfellow wrote, \u2018When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.\u2019\u201d Hoss explained. \u201cAdam was the first of us Cartwright boys to come along. Me and Joe, we can never follow in his footsteps \u2018cause they wandered places we\u2019ll never be able to go and took paths we won\u2019t never see. But we know we\u2019ll see his light ahead of us on our own paths for our entire lives. It was his nature to make us want to be the best, and his being gone isn\u2019t about to change that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The church pews were becoming a flicker of red and blue as men pulled handkerchiefs from their pockets, and a flutter of white linen and lace as women pulled theirs from purses or dress sleeves. Most would later claim they had hay fever from the blooming flowers and trees, but there wasn\u2019t a dry eye in the church as Hoss spoke. This was especially odd since some of the pews were occupied by the snide and vengeful who had come to see the holier-than-thou Cartwrights lay their prince to rest. Yet even they were moved by the obvious affection of Hoss and Joe for their brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss sighed with relief as he realized he was nearing the end of his remarks. \u201cA feller named, Cicero, said, \u2018The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.\u2019 You see, if we remember those who have passed, then they ain\u2019t really gone because their life is always just a memory away, and there ain\u2019t no way we\u2019ll ever forget our brother. I\u2019ll end with the quote that Adam had circled in his notes so I \u2018spect it was something that struck him soundly. It\u2019s by von Goethe. \u2018Death is a commingling of eternity with time; in the death of a good man, eternity is seen lookin\u2019 through time.\u2019 Let me tell y\u2019all, my brother was a very good man and eternity is mighty lucky to have him. I just hope I can live in a way that if Adam is able to see, he\u2019ll be proud.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With one more look upward and a mighty exhaling of his nervousness and sorrow, he returned to his seat with Ben and Joe. Pastor Davis rose to ask Lonny McMahon to sing\u00a0Amazing Grace.<\/em>\u00a0She had worked with Nancy Portland and offered to sing at the memorial service as a tribute to her friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hold The Presses!<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie slapped the reins on the horses\u2019 rumps willing them to move faster. She had been awake most of the night fashioning a pallet for Sunny to sleep on during the drive to Virginia City, then pretty much dragged him from the bed to the wagon. It was barely light enough to see the road when she set out with her patient snugly wrapped up in the back. Sunny woke long enough to sip water and help get outside, but fell back into a stupor instantly despite the ruts and rocks jolting the wagon. Josie\u2019s mind ran a constant litany of prayers asking that Sunny make it to town to find help, and those who might know who he was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was late-morning when the wagon rolled into the empty streets of Virginia City. By Josie\u2019s reckoning it was Friday, not Sunday, yet there was the unmistakable absence of business and people typical of the Sabbath. Finally spotting a disheveled looking man outside a saloon, Josie called to him asking where she might find a doctor\u2019s office.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pointing down the street he told her, \u201cThat white house be Doc Martin\u2019s office but ya\u2019ll not find him there.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, might there be another doctor you can direct me to?\u201d Josie asked with increasing anxiety.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure, there\u2019s other doctors in town, but ya won\u2019t be finding any of them at home right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost screeching now, Josie demanded, \u201cWhat are you talking about. Where is everyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey all be at the funeral of that young\u2019un, Adam Cartwright. He died some weeks back but they\u2019s giving him the funeral today.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Standing to get her bearings Josie finally spotted the line of carriages and horses on the street where she suspected the church must stand. Clicking at her horses, she got them turned and drove in that direction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After securing the reins and checking to make sure Sunny was still breathing, Josie headed toward the church. She was amazed at the numbers of people crowding the steps and doors and had to push her way through to get inside. Josie didn\u2019t want to intrude on this sacred occasion but figured this was where she had to be since the people she needed were here. In squeezing through the throng, she heard whispers noting that the person singing was a friend of the woman killed in the crash. It struck her that this service might be aimed at all those who perished, and began to hope that someone inside would know exactly who was in her wagon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie made it to the back of the church just as the young woman finished the last verse of the song. She saw her chance and took it. Walking up the center aisle she asked for the group\u2019s attention. \u201cPlease forgive me,\u201d she asked as all eyes took aim on her. \u201cI would never interrupt such proceedings but I need help right now and every doctor in town is here. I have a wagon outside with a young man in the back. I found him three weeks ago and he\u2019s very ill. He didn\u2019t remember anything until a few days back when he recalled being thrown from a stage, even though he was miles away from where that coach went down. He still doesn\u2019t remember anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A collective gasp rose from those assembled. The Cartwrights and Bakers rose, encouraging the woman to speak further.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe was mostly dead when I found him but was recovering slowly until pneumonia set in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t remember anything?\u201d queried Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe thinks his name might be James.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps Jake?\u201d asked Matthew Baker hopefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose that could be right. But we\u2019re wasting time. Why don\u2019t we go out and see if he is who you think he might be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben and Matthew rushed from the church, followed closely by Paul Martin and the children of both families. Even the din of many voices speaking at once and the crowd pressing on the wagon didn\u2019t rouse Sunny.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Matthew Baker viewed Sunny\u2019s dark hair; now long enough to cover his ears and forehead to his brows. He saw the scruffy beard covering the thin, pale face and declared, \u201cPraise God, its Jacob!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben thought back to the family picture he had seen at the Bakers\u2019. He remembered the son that had reminded him of his own, and realized that the man in the wagon was the exact image of Jake. He pulled back from the crowd as Paul pushed forward, barking instructions for Josie to move the wagon to his office. The words Matthew Baker had shared earlier with Ben came rushing back:\u00a0Sometimes as a parent, you are just a word away from being brought to your knees.<\/em>\u00a0For Ben, those words were, \u201cPraise God, its Jacob.\u201d If the man in the wagon was Jacob Baker, then there was no more wondering. The body they had already buried was Adam, and Ben\u2019s search was over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gathering Hoss and Little Joe, the three Cartwrights returned to the church to avoid the crowd that was now crushing around to see what was happening. Pastor Davis made his way inside as well, remarking, \u201cThat was a most interesting ending to the service, Ben.\u201d After a moment he added, \u201cWe\u2019ll have to get that crowd moving or they\u2019ll end up back in here. Any ideas as to what we should do?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben could actually think more clearly at this moment than at any time since this all began. Knowing was hard, but was definitely better than not knowing. \u201cThere\u2019s a lunch being served at the International House; please tell people to go over. We\u2019ll stop later after we deal with this latest news.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reluctant to leave the family alone, Pastor Davis finally went out to do as requested. As the crowd drifted away in search of free food and drink, the church became very quiet with Ben breaking the silence by saying, \u201cBoys, you did a wonderful job today. And before you ask; I\u2019m fine. At this moment I\u2019m not any sadder than earlier and am actually happy for the Bakers\u2014as you should be.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe know Pa,\u201d agreed Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss asked, \u201cD\u2019ya suppose we could skip the hotel and just go home?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to put in an appearance. But first, I\u2019d like to ride to the cemetery. I think we need to pay our respects.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Final Farewells<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he rode up to the cemetery after leaving Paul\u2019s office, Roy could see his three friends standing by the unmarked grave. To his utter surprise, they appeared relaxed; clapping each other on the shoulders as Hoss gave a hearty laugh. Roy made his way to the mound that had not yet settled. \u201cBen, boys,\u201d he greeted them, tipping his hat. \u201cJust thought I\u2019d ride out here and see what was going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben answered for the group. \u201cThanks Roy. There\u2019s something about knowing it\u2019s Adam that brings more peace than anything else. He\u2019s home. We were just recalling some of the suffering our poor Adam endured at the hands of his younger brothers.\u201d All four men stood silently for a moment but then Ben remembered where Roy had come from, and asked, \u201cRoy, you were at Doc Martin\u2019s? How\u2019s the boy doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe hasn\u2019t opened his eyes yet, and is very sick. Paul\u2019s giving him something to ease the pain in his chest, but that medicine can slow his breathing even more, so that\u2019s a problem too. He hopes that Jake is strong enough to survive the pneumonia. Paul\u2019s got the room Jake\u2019s in littered with pans of steaming water. Says it should help his lungs to heal. I had to leave. Being in there was like being in New Orleans on a sticky deep summer\u2019s day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss inquired, \u201cSo does Paul think he\u2019ll live?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe. As always, time will tell. Right now they\u2019re just hoping he\u2019ll start breathing easier.\u201d Roy paused, remembering something that had struck him earlier, \u201cYou know, it is interestin\u2019 to see how much Jake resembles Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe spoke up, \u201cJake looked just the same as he did in the picture we saw when we were at the Baker ranch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was silence as four sets of eyes wandered back to the mound of dirt. There was no doubt that each of the men standing there wished the person in the wagon had been the man who lay buried there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Ben, I almost forgot. The Bakers would appreciate you stopping by Paul\u2019s house later. They feel badly about rushing off without saying anything to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe aren\u2019t upset about that, Roy. We\u2019ll stop sometime before they go home, but not just now.\u201d Ben thought a bit and inquired. \u201cWho was that woman who brought him into town? Where did she find Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was Josie Sullivan. She owns a small place southwest of Goat Springs. I saw her turnoff both times we rode past, but knew she\u2019d been in Virginia City over the week that everything happened and assumed she wouldn\u2019t have any information. Her spread\u2019s another good five miles in the opposite direction of the way we thought Jake had gone. She found him on her way home early Thursday morning, at the bottom of a ravine near the turnoff to her place. Apparently Jake had climbed outside the coach to aid the driver but fell off after setting his horse loose. Paul says that without her care Jake would have died, and is surprised he survived long enough for her to find him in the first place. From what Josie described, that sickness those people had would have been deadly enough without the crash. I\u2019m just sorry I didn\u2019t go talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo need to worry, Roy. We could have all done things differently and it wouldn\u2019t have changed the outcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Ben. Say, are you going to relocate Adam\u2019s grave to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe boys and I were talking about that and have decided that Adam would want to remain with the people he was with when he died. We\u2019re going to put up a stone to honor all three buried here and then we\u2019ll get a marker to place at the lake for us to remember him by.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a good plan, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked toward town and then back at Adam\u2019s grave. For a brief moment, his anguish was visible and he appeared to be at the point of breaking down. Drawing a deep breath, he dropped one knee to the ground near where Adam lay and removed his hat. \u201cRest easy son.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe were at his side in an instant, as they voiced their goodbyes to the older brother they had loved and would never forget.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rising stiffly, Ben finally suggested, \u201cLet\u2019s get to the hotel. We could all use something to eat, and then we\u2019ll say our thanks and head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was still some minutes before any of the men standing at the grave were able to walk away. Once mounted, each gave a final tip of his hat to Adam and they headed toward town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Checking on Friends<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While making his way back to town after delivering his seventh baby in five days, Paul Martin mused, \u201cAh, the joys of spring.\u201d He had been doctoring long enough to note the correlation between the weddings of the previous June to the number of births come March, April and May of the current year. Of course he didn\u2019t attend every birth in the territory. There were other doctors, and unless the family had money, or a problem developed with the birth, babies were most often helped into the world by other women who had given birth themselves.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What Paul feared most was the ghostly white, visibly shaking father that showed up on his doorstep with a plea to \u201ccome quick\u201d because a birth was \u201cgoin\u2019 badly.\u201d This always meant rushing to a woman in a grave situation, and often being able to save only the mother or child: whichever had the best chance of surviving. Sadly, many times, neither mother nor child survived. The births he had attended these last days ended well, but while this made him happy, it didn\u2019t mean he was less exhausted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Laughing to himself, Paul thought of how he would certainly need to be present if Hoss Cartwright ever married and had children. In fact all the Cartwright men seemed to favor petite women, which would make the delivery of any children\u2014except possibly Little Joe\u2019s\u2014a real challenge for their wives. He had often thought that Hoss should be looking for a Bessie Sue kind of girl instead of the tiny women he favored. Adam and Ben were both over six feet tall and they too had always favored smallish women. The thought hit Paul like a log plummeting down a flume: Adam would not be marrying or having children, would he? He wondered how many times thoughts like this had struck Ben and the boys already. Grief could be held at bay by concentrating on the tasks at hand: life could be \u201cgotten on\u201d with. But when you were least prepared, unexpected thoughts and memories found their way into your consciousness. Those were the left hooks that left you fighting for purchase while your mind and heart spun in endless waves of hurt.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As he cut across the Ponderosa on his way back to town, Paul would have sworn he could smell fresh coffee. Of course it was wishful thinking, but it brought to mind that he should stop to check on the Cartwrights. If such a visit netted him a cup of Hop Sing\u2019s amazing coffee and some homemade bakery, then even better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s horse stood at the ready in the yard as Doc Martin drove in and secured his carriage. His hand was ready to knock just as the big door swung open revealing the patriarch of the Cartwright clan. \u201cPaul, what a pleasant surprise! I was just coming to see who drove in.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s cheeks turned pink as he confessed his intentions. \u201cI\u2019m afraid I come here in need of coffee mostly, but also to check on you and the boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hollering for Hop Sing to bring coffee and food, Ben ushered Paul over to his office area, indicating he should sit in a side chair while Ben rounded his desk. \u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind sitting over here. I just have a few last things to put together before I head to town. He shuffled ledgers, books and papers into neater piles as he asked, \u201cSo, Paul. How have things been going for Jake Baker?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before Paul could answer, Hop Sing arrived with a tray of coffee, sandwiches and cookies. \u201cDoctor look tired, hungry. Eat!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you kindly, Hop Sing.\u201d Paul dove into the food, not remembering when he had last eaten. After finishing a sandwich and washing it down, Paul was finally able to answer Ben\u2019s question. \u201cTruth is, Ben, I haven\u2019t been around my office much since he got there and haven\u2019t ever been around at all when he\u2019s awake. I got a number of things going to make him rest easier, but then the babies started coming and I had to keep running. Luckily Josie was there. I showed her what to do and she\u2019s been taking care of him. I check on him and Josie gives me reports when I\u2019m around.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI heard from Roy that she kept Jake alive at first.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never seen anyone with more innate talent for medicine, that\u2019s for sure. She said she brought him to town because she couldn\u2019t do any more for him at her place. Truth is she was doing everything right. I was able to try a few things she wouldn\u2019t have known about, but we\u2019re mostly keeping him comfortable and letting his body heal.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHas the boy regained consciousness or remembered any more?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul shrugged, \u201cJosie told me he is awake at times but not communicating. He has such a raw throat that he can only speak in a whisper and then only a word or two at a time. Unfortunately, I don\u2019t think he recalls anything more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo how are the Bakers handling that?<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you might expect. I can tell they\u2019re disappointed, but they plan to take him home as soon as he can travel. Matthew feels Jake will remember more if he\u2019s around his family in their home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019m glad he\u2019s getting better. I worried that Matthew would lose his child twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul had finished the rest of his lunch by then and asked, \u201cHow\u2019s your family doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFine Paul. We miss Adam more than we thought possible and the sadness is always just at the back of our minds. But we\u2019re making it day by day.\u201d Ben finished stacking his papers and put the more important records in the safe. \u201cIn fact I\u2019m heading to town now to meet the boys. They went in earlier to arrange for the stones at the cemetery and lake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Meeting Ben\u2019s eyes, Paul realized his friend\u2019s comment about being fine was the truth. Roy had told him that Ben started doing better the moment he realized Jake was alive and had to face the fact of Adam\u2019s death. \u201cI\u2019m glad to hear that, Ben. You do look as if a weight has been lifted.\u201d As Paul prepared to leave he proposed, \u201cSay, if you\u2019re ready to leave, why not tie Buck up behind my carriage and we can talk on the way to town. It would certainly help me stay awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben volunteered to drive so Paul could relax. It was the first opportunity they\u2019d had to talk since the two had been in Paul\u2019s office to identify Adam\u2019s belongings. \u201cIt does seem like a lifetime ago since we talked, Ben.\u201d A thought crossed Paul\u2019s mind. \u201cSeeing Jake with that beard makes me wonder if Adam really would have looked like him if he\u2019d had one?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cToby is the only one who ever saw the two men together, Paul. We found out that Adam gave Jake a set of his clothes when Jake\u2019s were ruined, and Toby said that except for Jake\u2019s beard, the two did resemble each other very much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This new information niggled at a piece of information stored somewhere deep in Paul\u2019s mind. When he had done the autopsies of the three crash victims, he had actually wondered if Adam might have grown a beard while he was away. There was some evidence to suggest that he\u2019d had one, but there wasn\u2019t enough facial tissue remaining to be sure. Paul shuddered as he remembered the day he had to identify Adam\u2019s body, and quickly put the image out of his mind, finally concluding, \u201cI would give anything to have seen those two together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded, unable to voice that there certainly was one of the two men he would give anything to see again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSay, Roy told me you were going to let Hoss and Joe decide what to put on Adam\u2019s headstone. What\u2019d they come up with?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAfter the success they had with the eulogy, they wanted to tackle this as well. I was apprehensive at first, but decided to let them do it. Of course the marker in Virginia City is for all three victims of the crash so will have just names and the fact of their death, but they had a little fun with the one that will be by Marie\u2019s grave.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo? What did they decide on?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll drop by your house later and they can tell you! I don\u2019t think Adam would mind a little jab in the ribs from his brothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben bade Paul goodbye once they reached town. \u201cI\u2019m meeting the boys in an hour and we\u2019ll stop by your office after lunch. We promised the Baker\u2019s we\u2019d stop by to meet Jacob and since he\u2019s about ready to travel, this seems like a good time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Ben rode away, Paul called after him, \u201cI\u2019ll try to be there, as long as no one decides to deliver in the next hour or two.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Going Home<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Anne and Josie had put Jake through his paces that morning. He still couldn\u2019t speak more than a few words without exhausting himself and then it was only in whispers. But they made him get dressed in the plaid shirt and jeans the Bakers had bought him, walk a course through Doc Martin\u2019s office, and now had him sitting comfortably in a chair. Carole Anne had always been friendly and encouraging but seemed almost wary today. Jake wasn\u2019t sure what it was about, but suspected it had something to do with getting things organized to leave for the Baker ranch. He wanted desperately to speak to Josie about that and seized his chance when Carole Anne left for the hotel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The young woman had barely exited the door before Jake was motioning Josie over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Jake? Do you need something?\u201d Josie asked with concern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTalk,\u201d was all Jake could say. Josie brought water and he downed almost half the glass before starting again. In a strained whisper, Jake began, \u201cJosie. Can\u2019t go home with them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, you can\u2019t go home with them? They love you Jake. They\u2019ll take care of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t remember them. AT ALL!\u201d he croaked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s why you need to go with them. You\u2019ll remember when you spend more time together.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a child. Don\u2019t want to hurt them\u2026but can\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Jake,\u201d Josie tried to make him see, \u201cThey\u2019re your family.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, but not to me. Life would be a lie if I go.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you remember anything about them, Jake?\u201d asked Josie, hoping to help him regain at least some small memory of these people who loved him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing. Have ghosts of my family go through my head. These people are nice, but they\u2019re not the ghosts.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie tried again. \u201cWhat things do you remember, Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His eyes looked down and his shoulders slumped forward as he tried to explain. \u201cRespect. I remember respect, but fights and craziness. See myself shaking my head and saying things like, \u2018Now what,\u2019 and \u2018Not again.\u2019 I remember my father\u2019s voice, strong and commanding, sometimes very loud.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell that could be the Bakers. You don\u2019t know them very well yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Nice people, but too\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie was losing her patience. \u201cToo what, Jacob Baker?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake smiled in his most disarming way, \u201cToo serious, Josie Sullivan.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oddly, it made sense. When people lost their memories, it didn\u2019t seem that they lost their fundamental essence. Jake had been smart, funny, flirtatious, even a bit of a rogue during the time they\u2019d been together. He was serious too, but not in the way the Bakers were serious. Matthew Baker was kind and caring, but almost stiff in his ways. He had thanked her continuously, but hadn\u2019t spent more than a few minutes at a time with Jake. When he did it was only to tell Jake what to do. Carole Anne was sweet and seemed to keep the family together, but she too was very perfunctory in her care. None of the Bakers had hugged Jake, held his hand or made any attempt to connect to him other than with their words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Realizing that Jake made sense, Josie inquired, \u201cAnd what will you do if you don\u2019t go home with them?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake looked up at Josie and said seriously; \u201cGo back with you, if you\u2019ll have me. Can help with the farm until I figure out more, then head out on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie knelt by the chair, taking his hands in hers. \u201cI\u2019d be happy as pie to have you come back with me. I have some future plans but those can wait a bit until you remember more. When you recall more about the Bakers, you can go to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny whispered, \u201cThank you.\u201d It was all he could say for now. The talk had taken every ounce of his strength and he dozed off within seconds of leaning back in the chair.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul walked into his home to Josie shushing him as she led him to the adjoining room to show him Sunny sleeping in the chair. Paul motioned for her to follow him back into his office so they could talk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe looks pretty good, even if he is tired,\u201d remarked the equally tired doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s doing well, but still remembers nothing of the Bakers and has decided not to go with them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d they handle that news?\u201d inquired a surprised Paul. \u201cThat\u2019s what they\u2019ve wanted most since you brought him here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t know yet. He\u2019ll tell them when they return. He\u2019s not a child, Doctor, and should be able to choose what\u2019s best for himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul smiled. \u201cAnd I suspect what\u2019s best right now is that he stays with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be the plan. Just until he either is strong enough to head out, or remembers more.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHave you mentioned your other plans to him yet, Josie?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI will soon. I still don\u2019t have it all worked out in my own head and haven\u2019t heard back yet from your friend in San Francisco. Don\u2019t want to jump too fast and regret it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re probably right about that.\u201d Paul stretched and then remembered, \u201cThe Cartwrights are stopping by later to meet Jake and say goodbye. I think you\u2019ll enjoy meeting them.\u201d Josie agreed and left Paul alone as she noted his eyes getting heavy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An Epitaph for a Granite Headed Yankee<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you two got things squared away with Milt at the stone works?\u201d Ben asked as the three Cartwrights met for lunch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe sure did Pa,\u201d offered Hoss, \u201cAnd now that he knows how much he\u2019s gotta get on each of them he can start looking for good stones. He\u2019ll let us know when he thinks he\u2019s got somethin\u2019 we\u2019ll like.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe laughed as he thought about the epitaph he and Hoss had decided on. \u201cPa, thanks again for letting us do this. We know he was the most serious of us three, but he always enjoyed a good joke, even when it was on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cB\u2019sides,\u201d continued Hoss, \u201cIt\u2019s likely we\u2019ll be the only ones ever see it, so we might as well smile when we think of our older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They were all still in a good mood as they neared Doc Martins office. They wanted to meet Jake Baker but were sobered by the fact that they had all hoped at one time or another that Jake had been in that coach instead of Adam. They felt remorse over this, but not guilt, because it was human nature to wish for the best outcome for those you love. There was never any harm intended toward the Bakers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul jumped as their entry into his office startled him out of his slumber. \u201cSo, you get everything taken care of?\u201d he questioned the family as he yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss answered, \u201cPa finished up at the bank and we met with Milt, so we\u2019re about ready to head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou forgot to tell him we had lunch, Hoss,\u201d teased Joe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t never forget havin\u2019 lunch, brother,\u201d he laughed. \u201cJust some are more worth rememberin\u2019 than others, and that one was not memorable.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul walked them back into the parlor with the intention of getting Josie and Jake for the visit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake awoke when he first heard the Cartwrights talking to Paul in his office. \u201cJosie,\u201d he hissed as loudly as he could. \u201cJosie, who just came in?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie looked and returned with the information, \u201cI think it\u2019s the Cartwrights. I\u2019ve never met them myself but did see them at the funeral. Why do you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake managed to squeak out, \u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At that moment he heard one of the men laugh at the other\u2019s comment about lunch. He also heard a low chuckle from another in the group as the men made their way to the room adjoining the one Jake and Josie were in. Josie was about to say something but Jake motioned for her to stop as he leaned forward hoping to hear better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo,\u201d Paul finally asked, \u201cWhat did you decide to put on Adam\u2019s headstone? I\u2019ve been waiting hours to hear.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe both laughed but then calmed down and let the suspense build.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Meanwhile Jake was trying to stand while Josie kept pushing him down. Josie couldn\u2019t understand his agitation and held his shoulders down while he fought to stand. The war of wills came to an end when Jake managed to rise after pushing her hands out of the way. Giving her a scathing, haunted glare, he walked over to stand at the curtain separating the two rooms.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo out with it!\u201d Paul ordered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe finally explained, \u201cIt says, Adam Cartwright: Our Beloved Yankee Granite Headed Brother. We\u2019re also using a quote that Adam had in his notebook, by a man named Dryden. \u2018He was exhaled; his great Creator drew his Spirit, as the sun the morning dew.\u2019\u201d Joe began to chuckle and gave Hoss a punch in the shoulder as he remembered their earlier conversation. \u201cHoss and me were speculating whether Heaven is big enough for all of Adam\u2019s big ideas, or whether they\u2019ll have to add on the Adam Cartwright Wing to hold them all. We figure he\u2019s standing at a desk up there, pencil in hand drawing out the plans for it while giving very specific directions to the rest of the heavenly host on how to build it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul laughed along with the others, but as the finality of it set in, the room became silent. Behind the curtain Jake\u2019s breathing and heart rate were accelerating. It was all beginning to make sense. He knew why Josie\u2019s laugh had made him feel at home, why her gentle, quiet wisdom was so comforting and why he didn\u2019t mind her commanding attitude when she wanted him to do something.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jake pulled the curtain aside and stepped into the room with Josie at his side. She had watched the veil lifting from Sunny\u2019s eyes and knew that a family would soon be mourning the death of their son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul saw that they had entered and quickly made introductions. \u201cJake, Josie, these are the Cartwrights; Ben, Hoss and Little Joe.\u201d Each member of the family nodded with the introduction saying, \u201cMa\u2019am, Jake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie waited until she was certain of what her intuition was telling her, but glancing at Sunny, she knew. \u201cGentlemen, we overheard your epitaph and find only one thing wrong with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunny was now smiling broadly as he understood that Josie knew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe looked at the pair with his brow pursed, \u201cAnd what is the problem as\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0see it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This time Sunny whispered as loudly as his voice allowed, \u201cIt would be a fine remembrance\u2026if your Yankee granite headed brother was actually dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben looked outraged as he moved toward Jake, fumbling for words. \u201cI know you\u2019re still ill and having problems remembering things, but why would you say\u2026\u201d But as he spoke, he looked directly at the bearded man in front of him: He was so much thinner that he seemed a different man, but he saw it then: the gold fleck in the greenish-brown eyes, the set of his smile, the lean as he stood there. Reaching forward, Ben gently took his face and touched Jake\u2019s top lip just to the left of center, feeling the fine scar even through the mustache growing there. \u201cAdam?\u201d he breathed softly. \u201cSon.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam stepped forward into his father\u2019s arms, laying his head on Ben\u2019s shoulder, whispering, \u201cIt\u2019s been a long trip home, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe stood there looking at each other, then toward Paul, and finally at Ben and Adam. Paul shrugged, but realizing the boys were frozen in place, he waved them forward to greet their brother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Hoss inquired tentatively as he rubbed his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u201cPa, are you sure this is Adam? You\u2019re not indulging in wishful thinking again, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam turned toward his giant brother, giving him a one sided smile, squeaking, \u201cShut up and come here, you Missouri Mule!\u201d Adam found himself being lifted into the air as Hoss gave him a bear hug while Joe stood laughing with Ben.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally turning toward Little Joe, Adam whispered, \u201cSo, you have nothing smart to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joe came forward looking Adam over. He turned him around and then caught him with an embarrassed look as Adam teetered with the change of position. Not deterred, he lifted the hair over Adam\u2019s ears, then grabbed his face and stared deeply into his eyes. Holding onto Adam\u2019s shoulders in joy, and fear that his brother would collapse at any second, he turned his head to see the others, and stated with complete calm, \u201cYes, it\u2019s really him. Dang it all, now I suppose he\u2019s gonna expect us to call him Lazarus!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The laughter that erupted in the room was instantly shut off when the door opened revealing the entire Baker family. Ben and Hoss went to stand with the rest of their family, partly to hold Adam up and partly to stand with him for what was coming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Matthew Baker walked forward, extending his hand. \u201cIt\u2019s good to meet you Adam.\u201d He then turned to face Ben as he quietly told those gathered, \u201cWe will be heading home. It is now apparent that it was our Jacob on that stage, and just as you were going to do, Mr. Cartwright, we will leave him buried with the other two from the accident. I\u2019ve heard that you are placing a memorial there and would be grateful if you will include Jacob Elvin Baker as one of those remembered. We will place a memorial in San Francisco next to his mother\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Cartwrights stood there unable to speak. Finally Ben was able to overcome his shock to ask, \u201cHow did you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Anne indicated that they should all take a seat after noting that Adam was having some trouble remaining on his feet. Once settled, she began to tell of their journey to realization.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAt first, seeing a bearded man whose story seemed to correspond to events more related to Jacob\u2019s journey than Adam\u2019s, we were able to ignore the things that didn\u2019t seem quite right. Papa was so convinced it was Jacob that he simply refused to consider that it was not him and we believed too.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss was nodding affirmatively as he cut in. \u201cPapa\u2019s tend to do that don\u2019t they?\u201d Smiles circulated around the room as the truth of his statement hit home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carole Anne continued, \u201cI was convinced at first as well. Certainly he looks like Jacob and since he mostly slept, I didn\u2019t question anything. Josie and I cared for him and the truth be told, there was nothing to make me think that this was not my brother. I didn\u2019t even question it as he began to speak, because Adam\u2019s voice was so hoarse. I have to admit that even seeing him now, my heart tells me this is not Adam Cartwright, but Jacob Baker.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little Joe was anxious to hear what changed Carole Anne\u2019s mind and encouraged, \u201cSo what tipped the scales for you. Did you notice some physical difference that made you question that it was Jake? Like a missing mole or birthmark; something like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not really. I didn\u2019t notice anything that should or shouldn\u2019t have been there. It all started yesterday afternoon when it became more certain that Jake, um, Adam, would be all right. When he finally slipped into a restful sleep, Josie and I took some time to really talk. She told me about \u2018Sunny\u2019s\u2019 time with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben now interrupted with a puzzled look. \u201cWait, now who\u2019s Sonny?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was Adam who whispered, \u201cIt\u2019s what Josie called me when I stayed with her. I couldn\u2019t remember my name, so she gave me one. Sunny. Like my disposition.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A snicker grew to a giggle and finally an all out laugh as Little Joe pondered the name. \u201cBoy she oughtta live with you a while as Adam and then rethink that name. Sunny; my Aunt Petunia!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The giggling continued until Joe noted the glare from Josie. \u201cI think perhaps you don\u2019t know your brother as well as you think you do young man,\u201d was her icy response to the laughter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSorry ma\u2019am,\u201d confessed Joe. \u201cMaybe he showed you a side of him that we don\u2019t usually see.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOr maybe it was the absence of a smart-aleck little brother that accounted for my sunnier disposition,\u201d Adam croaked as he sent Joe a wink.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben got the story rolling again after the interruption. \u201cCarole Anne, please continue. I\u2019m fascinated to find out what brought about your change of heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was the things Josie said about Sunny that did it. My brother was smart as a whip and never let you forget it. But he wasn\u2019t brilliant by any means, nor was he well educated. There is no way he would have known the words to a song sung in Latin, much less be able to translate them into English.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYup, that\u2019s our Adam,\u201d interjected Hoss as he gave Adam an appreciative nod. \u201cI\u2019m not sure what you\u2019re talking about in specific, ma\u2019am, but I know the floor sags under the weight of the books in his bedroom.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam smiled at Hoss as he pressed Carole Anne to continue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJake liked to read just like Sunny did, but preferred dime novels to classics. So what Josie said about Sunny wanting her to read from real books and then discuss what they\u2019d read, just didn\u2019t add up to this being Jake. Anyway, today I took a real good look at the man I thought was my brother. It finally hit me that his smile was wrong; the eyes, though familiar, were wrong; and the face without the beard would be wrong as well. I went to tell Papa and my brothers, but they were not surprised. They had been talking about the same misgivings and I merely confirmed them. We decided to go home, knowing that this man being with us would not accomplish the return of his memory. All the love we could give him wouldn\u2019t turn him into Jake.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Matthew Baker continued on from there. \u201cWhen we heard the laughter as we approached the doctor\u2019s house today, we all knew our thoughts had been confirmed. We prayed before entering, both in thanks for your joy at finding a son, and in sorrow for losing ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben rose to comfort Matthew. \u201cI truly don\u2019t know what to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSay nothing Mr. Cartwright. It is well with our souls. It seems that Jacob found a good friend in your son before his death. He lived free, as he chose to do, and is at rest now. A father could ask for no more than that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed,\u201d was all that Ben could reply.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Goodbyes were exchanged as the Bakers prepared to leave. Adam still had only sketchy memories of the last days before the accident but promised to visit the family as soon as he remembered more about his time with Jake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie\u2019s mind reflected on the events of the last month and realized her time with Sunny was nearing an end. She was astonished at how much better he looked just since remembering and reuniting with his family. It confirmed what she had long suspected: This young man was totally aligned with his family and his protests to the contrary were simply his tortured mind finding peace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell!\u201d Ben exclaimed after the Bakers were gone, \u201cLet\u2019s see about getting you home! Maybe Josie will be kind enough to let us use her wagon with the bed in the back.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Adam squawked in protest. \u201cI\u2019ll sit on the way home, or crawl if I have to, but I\u2019m not leaving here on a bed!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surprised at the outburst, everyone focused on the now standing man, who was leaning precariously as he tried to catch his breath. It was finally Hoss who answered. \u201cWhatever you say, Adam. Whatever you say. All\u2019s I know though is that you\u2019ll be riding between Josie and Pa \u2018cause I ain\u2019t gonna be pickin\u2019 your sorry butt off the ground every 20 feet when you topple out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam gave Hoss a menacing look but agreed to the plan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was Josie who spoke up then, \u201cHoss, maybe Sunny will have to sit between two of you. I\u2019m not sure\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat aren\u2019t you sure of, Ma\u2019am? That yer invited home with us?\u201d Hoss realized that Josie had been pretty much left out of the conversation since the Baker\u2019s had shown up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben walked over to the tall woman. \u201cOf course you will join us, that\u2019s if you want to. After all, our \u2018sunny\u2019 Adam isn\u2019t well yet, and with Paul gallivanting all over the territory looking for babies to bring into the world, we\u2019ll need someone we can count on.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The backhanded invitation brought a smile to Josie\u2019s face as she accepted. \u201cI\u2019ll get our things together while you get the wagon and horses.\u201d Then looking at Paul, she remarked, \u201cYou look terrible Dr. Martin. Go get some sleep. We\u2019ve got this covered.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul was more than willing to accept her charge to rest, waving to the Cartwright\u2019s as they disappeared out the door. Speaking then to Adam and Josie, he admitted, \u201cAdam, I honestly had no idea it was you. With the Baker\u2019s identifying you as their son, I wasn\u2019t looking for anything that wouldn\u2019t point to you being Jake. The many injuries you sustained in the fall from the stage were healing well, so I just got you started with treatment for the pneumonia. You and Josie make a good team. You\u2019re a better patient for her than you ever were for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cShe blackmailed me,\u201d was Adam\u2019s soft reply. \u201cShe made me work for everything. You should try it sometimes. Makes a powerful inducement.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Paul promised to stop out in a day or two, and then walked into the room where Josie was gathering her things together. That\u2019s when he saw it lying atop the basket Josie had brought along from home: Adam\u2019s black hat. It had been there all the while, and Paul knew he had walked past it numerous times in the last week without ever really seeing it. He shook his head in amazement and decided he should follow Josie\u2019s orders and rest. His fatigue during Adam\u2019s recovery had prevented him from noticing a vital clue to solve the mystery that had started in this same office a month ago. Paul chuckled to himself as he sat, figuring that maybe this was one oversight the Cartwrights wouldn\u2019t have to hear about, and by the time the rest of the family returned to pick up Adam and Josie, he was sound asleep on the cot Adam had vacated.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Outside, Ben pulled Adam up to the buckboard seat while Hoss gave a boost from below. Once settled, a slap of the reins started the horses toward the Ponderosa. Adam remained ramrod straight as they drove through town, but relaxed once they reached the roads of the Ponderosa; eventually drifting off, leaning on Ben\u2019s shoulder. The father looked over Adam\u2019s head at Josie, who immediately understood. She reached over and took the reins from Ben, who was then was free to gather his son to him. With his arms around him, Ben could feel Adam\u2019s heart beating, and it hit him that this was what he had felt in his own heart the entire time that others had tried to convince him to be reasonable. Somewhere deep in his soul, he realized that he had never really accepted Adam\u2019s death, but had let circumstances mask his perceptions. He had let himself be convinced that his intuition was wrong. He quietly vowed, \u201cNever again.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s head rose as he whispered, \u201cWhat was that, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, son. Just rest.\u201d He pulled his grown son close, to hold him as he had done with his child many years ago on their journey west.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waking as the wagon came to a stop, Adam saw his home and understood why Josie\u2019s place seemed familiar. Joe and Hoss had gone on ahead of the wagon to let Hop Sing know what had happened, and the Cartwright cook stood at the front door; mouth agape. For once in his life, Hop Sing was speechless as he helped Adam from the wagon, patting and hugging the man he thought was dead. He followed close behind as Hoss and Joe helped Adam to the house and then up the stairs as Josie ordered rest before any further reunion. As the three brothers reached Adam\u2019s room, Hoss muttered, \u201cUh \u2013 oh.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The room was a disaster with books in piles and heaps on the floor, the desk and even the bed. They\u2019d forgotten that in their efforts to find appropriate readings for the funeral, they had destroyed Adam\u2019s orderly room. On top of that, they\u2019d ordered Hop Sing to stay out in case they needed to find more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pretty much suspended between his brothers at this point, Adam looked first to Joe, then over at Hoss and finally at the chaos before him. \u201cAm I to believe you two were actually reading?\u201d\u00a0 Neither of his brothers replied as they struck identical sheepish grins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie and Hop Sing moved ahead to clear the books from the bed and turn down the covers. Hop Sing, having found his voice, chattered continuously about Adam\u2019s weight loss, his beard, and his joy at having him back, as he got him settled in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once comfortable and having allowed his Chinese friend the chance to get all his feelings out, Adam asked to speak to Hoss and Joe privately. His voice was still hoarse, but once alone with them, he managed to croak out, \u201cYou know you two are coming in here later to return these books to some semblance of order, right? I\u2019ll tell you where to put each one so I can find them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe nodded silently, but as Joe tried to apologize, Adam cut him off. \u201cI heard about the eulogy you two did.\u201d His eyes crinkled as the corners of his mouth turned up. \u201cCarole Anne told \u2018Jake\u2019 about the funeral and how moving a tribute you did for your brother: You know, the one with the big ideas?\u201d This reference made Joe and Hoss squirm even as they smiled. \u201cSeriously, thank you both. It must have taken a lot of courage for a Louisiana Hothead and a Missouri Mule to put together something like that. It means\u2026well, I wouldn\u2019t have expected anything like that. I guess you two have the ability to surprise me, even though I had to be dead to find it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All three boys sat in silence until Hoss spoke. \u201cY\u2019all better be quiet and rest now. Iffen that voice of yours gets any worse, you\u2019ll lose it completely and without bein\u2019 able to blow out your feelings with your words, very loudly, I might add, yer head will explode with the effort of keepin\u2019 silent.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the younger brothers exited, Joe slapped Hoss\u2019s shoulder and added, \u201cTruer words were never spoken.\u201d Turning back toward Adam, Joe got the last word. \u201cSee ya later \u2018Sunny,\u2019\u201d he drawled. A book within Adam\u2019s reach hit the door as it swung closed. He had tried to utter a particularly nasty curse, but his voice was gone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By evening, Adam joined his family for their first dinner together in several months. His appetite wasn\u2019t good but he managed to eat enough to assuage the cook, who beside himself with joy had made Adam\u2019s favorite foods. Josie watched in silent admiration of the family she was now a part of. One thing she had found once she was in the West was that families were often made up of those who banded together out of necessity as much as blood. The family in this house had four original members but she had no doubt that Hop Sing, Paul Martin, Sheriff Coffee and now Josie Sullivan were counted among the close relatives. How many others were included in their greater family was anyone\u2019s guess, but she figured the number was many.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the meal drew to a close, Adam, using only hand signals, persuaded Hoss and Joe to accompany him outside. Hoss beamed at the prospect and said something to the effect that \u201cHe\u2019s been sorely missin\u2019 you, Adam.\u201d Josie wasn\u2019t sure what this meant but figured she\u2019d find out as Ben escorted her to the porch for coffee and a chance to enjoy the coming sunset Ponderosa style. Hoss\u2019s comment soon made sense as the brothers lead a big chestnut horse from the barn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam had grabbed an apple from the bowl on the great room table and let the animal crunch at it while he stroked its long white blaze. Josie thought she\u2019d heard Hoss call the horse Sport, but the scene was so endearing that she couldn\u2019t interrupt for clarification. She chuckled inwardly as Hoss and Joe stood within arms reach, trying to act nonchalant, and figured they were there to grab the horse or the master, whichever needed help first.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben leaned in to speak quietly, \u201cThe boys\u2019 horses are as close as we get to having pets on our ranch, Josie. The mutual affection between animal and man here is built on trust, respect and care, not emotion.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Witnessing the scene unfolding before her, she wanted to point out the obvious \u201cemotion\u201d being shared by both animal and man in the yard, but remained silent as Ben continued.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019d allowed pets, Hoss would have brought home every stray or wounded critter he came across.\u201d Ben thought about his last comment and laughingly corrected himself. \u201cActually, Hoss has brought home every stray and wounded critter he came across, but because of our rule, had to rehabilitate them and release them or destroy them if that wasn\u2019t possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie pursed her lips with a flashback of understanding, but Ben interpreted it as judgment. \u201cI didn\u2019t do that to be cruel, Josie, but to help the boys keep a perspective on life. Things that can be saved should be, and returned to purpose. I have always found the idea of wild creatures being kept caged as pets, repulsive. If we give them aid and they recover, then they can live their lives as God intended. But to keep them as caged playthings, well to me, that is disrespectful.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Realizing that her expression was misunderstood, Josie attempted to explain. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I agree with what you\u2019re saying. In fact, I was just thinking about Adam as you spoke. I brought him home fully expecting that he would die within hours. But instead, he began to recover.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s face registered a look of sadness. \u201cI had heard that \u2018Jake\u2019 was pretty bad off. Have to admit I was wondering why you kept him at your place so long.\u201d He hadn\u2019t meant that statement to sound as harsh as it had and back peddled to avoid hurting Josie\u2019s feelings. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, that didn\u2019t come out right. What I meant was that Adam still seems so ill and he was gone almost a month. Maybe you should tell me a little more about what happened to him out there? Paul told me that he must have been nearly dead when you found him, but didn\u2019t give any details. He made it sound like you worked a small miracle to keep him alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie asked Ben to come into the house and once seated there she began to tell him about the near loss of his son. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I want you to understand that I followed orders from somewhere; first to stop at the place where I found him and then to take care of him. In truth it wasn\u2019t me who worked a miracle, but some force far greater than me.\u201d She shook her head again at the strangeness of it all. I told your son back when I found him that I wasn\u2019t sure which would serve me better; cooking a broth or diggin\u2019 a grave.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben smiled, but Josie noticed that he gave an involuntary shiver.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam was in terrible shape but the worst of it was that he had the same sickness as those other folks must have had. I don\u2019t know what he went through before I found him, but the man I found was as close to being dead as a body could be and still be breathing. His first two days with me he did nothing but moan while staying curled up in particular agony. Nothing was left inside him, and I couldn\u2019t get him to eat or drink anything either. While that raged, he also contended with injuries from being thrown at full speed from the stage. He was ravaged by sickness, covered with bruises from head to toe, had a bad shoulder, and just for good measure had nearly frozen to death. That\u2019s what I started with Mr. Cartwright. No man should have recovered from that and we can only thank God that he did. In fact, had those other folks not died in the crash, I fear they would still have died from that illness alone.\u201d After thinking a bit, Josie added, \u201cI\u2019d appreciate it if you don\u2019t tell Adam what I\u2019ve just shared with you. He was pretty upset about being in the position he was in and I never told him the full truth about it. Dr. Martin knows because he had to figure out how best to treat him, and now you know so that you understand why I couldn\u2019t bring him in sooner. But I\u2019ll tell Adam only if he wants to know. While his memory has returned, I doubt that he will ever remember much from at least the first week with me and that might be best for now.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben relocated from his red leather chair to the sofa where Josie sat. He thanked her again and added, \u201cI\u2019m wondering though at something you said earlier. How does my story of pets on the Ponderosa remind you of this situation?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I got off track there,\u201d Josie laughed. \u201cI brought Adam home as a wounded \u2018critter.\u2019 He began to recover, and I began to like having him around. When his memory was slow in returning, I think I considered keeping him with me if he\u2019d stay. With Adam so wounded in body and mind, I think he became comfortable with the situation as well. I\u2019m ashamed to admit, I think I considered keeping him rather than returning him to his purpose, as you put it. It made me feel so good to have him around that I forgot what was best for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat changed your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAdam went from one deadly illness to another, with little rest between. I heard it coming on long before it got bad and began to think a lot while waiting for it to show how strong its venom was. As it worsened, he began to founder. He couldn\u2019t remember his past, was losing his future, and his body and mind were failing because of it. One day he told me he wasn\u2019t going to make it and that it didn\u2019t matter who he\u2019d been, just who he was at that moment. But his eyes told me differently; the haunted look told me he was being untruthful. I knew the only way to ensure his future was to help him find a connection to someone or something besides me. Once we got to Virginia City he believed he belonged with the Bakers, and it helped him fight. But I could see the fear taking over again when he couldn\u2019t resolve his lack of memories or feelings for them. He had decided that he couldn\u2019t go with the Bakers and would return to my ranch to sort things out. That was the plan until you and your boys came into the doctor\u2019s office. You should have seen the light come back into your boy\u2019s eyes. It was surely something to behold. No doubts, no second thoughts: just remembrance and relief.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben was thanking Josie again when the three brothers entered the house. \u201cAnswer something if you can, Josie,\u201d Ben asked after the boys had moved to their usual perches on the furniture surrounding the hearth. \u201cWhy, when he remembered the crash, did Adam think he was Jake instead of himself? Why would his memories be distorted that way?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve wondered the same thing.\u201d Josie looked toward Adam who shrugged. \u201cPaul says that lost memories are not much understood. I have a theory though: When Adam first arrived, I was convinced he couldn\u2019t be Adam because when I was in town those days before I found him, his death was all anyone talked about. When he first woke up, I told him that a man named Adam Cartwright had died in the crash and his mind accepted it as truth. I figure he rearranged the facts to fit the information he had been given. He even told me once that it didn\u2019t seem quite right, but he didn\u2019t have the right information to put the pieces in place.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben nodded at Josie agreeing that it certainly made sense.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a short time of sitting around the fire with the younger brothers recalling some stories about their brother for Josie\u2019s benefit, Adam headed for his room. Although Adam refused their help with getting up the steps, Hoss and Joe each grabbed an arm and practically carried him up. Being more tired than sleepy, Adam decided to direct the reconstruction of his room while his siblings followed his non-verbal orders. The few times he tried to squeak out an order, the two others dissolved into such fits of laughter that he wrote his demands on paper and led them with the deftness of a conductor over his orchestra.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When all was returned to order and his workers sent away, Adam relaxed in the returning familiarity of his personal surroundings. Finally viewing his photographs and possessions in their proper places, his old memories began flowing back to him. From the first moment of recall in Paul\u2019s office until now, he had remembered his immediate family, but not much else. He recalled relationships more than events at this point, and hadn\u2019t let on that he couldn\u2019t remember most of stories from the past that his brothers had told about him that evening. While his first sight of the Ponderosa homestead had seemed familiar, it didn\u2019t bring back a rush of recollection. It took great resolve for him to remain patient as details began to repopulate his memory. He had only remembered Hop Sing when he saw him standing there. The layout of the house\u2019s interior came back to him just as he walked through the door, and he was honestly surprised at the various foods served at the evening meal that were supposedly his \u201cfavorites\u201d since he had no memory of having any preferences. His laryngitis had given him an easy cover for not participating in the conversations with anything more than nods and smiles.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But now the rapid-fire assault of returning memories was overwhelming. Yet he would not stop any of them, letting them wash over his mind and heart. He remembered being in the wagon while traveling endlessly with his father; meeting Inger; Hoss\u2019s birth and Inger\u2019s death. He held these memories for a while before continuing on with arriving in the West; living in lean-tos and cabins until his father began to accumulate property and make a good living. The good years presented next, when there was money and a home, including the addition of a bride and another brother, followed by another death. Another person would have had to stop before it overpowered him, but Adam forged on, remembering his time in Boston reconnecting with his grandfather; studying, making friends and finally returning to the Ponderosa, and the years of ranching as an adult. Along with the memories, he actually felt the physical and emotional pain of the losses he had experienced, the emptiness when he separated from his family for school, his love for Abel Stoddard as well as realizing the deep regret in not knowing his mother. He felt the doubt, fear, joy and anger he had known in his life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

These images and recollections kept him company throughout the night and by morning he was pretty well reacquainted with himself. Somewhere in the commingling of hard events with feelings, he even remembered when it was he began to love the wonder of learning while consuming written information and stories like a starving man. He saw how all of this led him to know that he would have to leave his family for better schooling, even though it had almost killed him to tell his father of his intentions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The images of his first romances and love touched his lips giving him way down shivers that brought back memories of other pleasant physical experiences he had forgotten about. His desire to always know the reasons for everything and learn how and why everything worked showed up along with the remembrance of all the crazy stunts his brothers had pulled with, and on him. He grieved as he remembered the truth about the stage crash, seeing Nancy being overcome by the strange illness and Jake still caring for her like a mother hen when he had decided to climb out and help Hank. The time he\u2019d spent with Jake and Nancy had been a delight as they sang and talked like old friends until everything went wrong. Even as he had flown from the stage figuring he was a dead man because of it, he knew that those inside the coach were headed for the same fate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a week still missing where he could only remember absolute physical agony. That was the only missing time he chose not to work harder to remember. He\u2019d ask Josie about it some day, but that time was a descent into death and tonight he was rising back to life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, he recalled his time with Josie. He knew that those weeks had been the closest he\u2019d ever come to having his own mother with him and realized he would always want Josie in his life. She had admitted to loving him as a son, and he loved her with his whole heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t mind not sleeping.\u00a0 He figured he had slept enough in the last month to last him a very long time.\u00a0 Smiling, he realized that when he joined his family in the morning, they would be unaware of the transformation that had occurred during the night. But he was whole again and it felt very, very good. That much his family would see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s health improved quickly over the next few days. Josie was aware of the presence of at least one other Cartwright in close proximity whenever he was outside, and continued to wonder at the love these men had for one another. Adam had confided that he appreciated his family\u2019s company as he recovered, but hated the hovering. The one lingering effect of the pneumonia was Adam\u2019s shortness of breath, causing him to stop at intervals; leaning forward with his hands on his knees as he struggled to breathe. Anxious eyes watched these episodes, but Josie had warned his family about running to help, assuring them that it was more upsetting to them than to Adam, and that it would get better soon.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Later in his first week home, Adam enlisted Hoss to accompany him to town on a mission. Ben, Joe and Josie watched as they headed out in the carriage with Hoss driving. Adam sat with his feet propped up on the footboard and the rest of his body leaning back into the seat. He sat up to offer a sly grin and tip of his hat to the those watching them leave, then placed the black Stetson over his eyes, crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back for the ride. No reason was given for the departure, but when they returned a few hours later, Josie couldn\u2019t believe her eyes. The bearded face was now clean-shaven and the hair inches shorter. \u201cOh, my!\u201d was all she could get out as she looked on at the handsome young man who had been hiding under all that hair. \u201cOh my!\u201d she repeated. \u201cAren\u2019t you just the prettiest thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course Josie\u2019s comment was all it took to send Joe into a long-winded laughing jag that left the newly shaven Adam blushing from ear to ear. Hoss, the protector of feelings and hearts, mumbled, \u201cBoy, Adam, they kinda scraped your face good with that shave. It\u2019s already turning red. Come on into the house, I got somthin\u2019 that\u2019ll make your skin feel better, right fast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once Josie felt comfortable with the rest of his family, Adam encouraged her to tell them about her life in San Francisco. Although Josie didn\u2019t share all of her \u201cexperiences\u201d on the Barbary Coast, she told them enough about it to explain why she\u2019d named Adam Sunny. This was followed by Joe\u2019s earnest apology for his digs and jabs. \u201cAdam, why didn\u2019t you tell me about the significance of the name instead of letting me make a fool of myself,\u201d whined the youngest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t my story to tell Joe. Besides, you don\u2019t need me to help you make a fool of yourself.\u201d The comment had Adam smirking, while Little Joe\u2019s mouth formed a silent oath.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That night, with Adam playing the guitar, they sang\u00a0Panis Angelicus<\/em>\u00a0together. Adam sang the main choir\u2019s part while Josie performed the echo. His voice was recovered just enough to carry a tune if he sang softly, and the combination of the two voices left the others in awe. Sure that his family would receive her song as she intended, Adam asked Josie to singSunny, With a Chance of Rain<\/em>. She did so without the dance this time, figuring that since the Cartwright\u2019s opinion of her was pretty good, she wouldn\u2019t chance making them think anything different.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After Ben commented on the song\u2019s message, Adam asked that Josie tell his father about the experience in Boston that was basis of the song. He wore a knowing smile as he recalled a memory from his first night home. While she began the telling, Adam excused himself and went to his room to retrieve a picture.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He made it back down to hear most of the story while leaning on the back of Ben\u2019s chair. He watched as his father listened and when she finished, Ben turned to Adam asking, \u201cYou don\u2019t think?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do.\u201d Directing his attention to Josie, Adam held out a picture for her to examine. \u201cI know it\u2019s been years, but might this have been the man you spoke to in Boston?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie rose in excitement, as she looked the picture over carefully. \u201cWhy, yes! That\u2019s definitely him! I\u2019d recognize that chin and beard anywhere. How is it that you have a picture of him? Is he someone famous?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot famous to world, Josie, just famous to my father and me. You talked to a man named Abel Stoddard. You were correct in saying he was a retired sea captain, but more importantly to this story, he was my grandfather. I was the one with him when you saw him the day you sailed. I can remember waving at a lovely woman my Grandfather said he\u2019d met earlier. She was sailing for San Francisco and he said he was praying for her to have sunshine and fair weather through the entire trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he still living?\u201d Josie asked hopefully.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe passed a year or so ago,\u201d Ben offered. \u201cI thank you for your story, though. I know he lost so much when Elizabeth died and I left with Adam.\u201d Bowing his head to honor his former captain and father-in-law, Ben continued, \u201cI\u2019m so grateful to hear that he found peace and helped others. Adam sensed that about him too when he was out east, and what you say confirms it for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie sat down, as she understood the importance of this new knowledge. \u201cThose words in my song: The ones that kept me going those years in San Francisco about things coming round and kindnesses being repaid\u2026 They\u2019re true!\u201d Looking up at Ben and Adam\u2019s faces, she saw the realization there as well. Hoss and Joe remained silent as they took in this latest bit of information in an already incredible tale. \u201cYou don\u2019t suppose\u2026 meeting your grandfather; clinging to his words to make my life better; finding Hiram who brought me here\u2026 do you suppose all that kindness was preparation to come back round to me finding and you and getting you back to your family?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s wisdom took over after Adam sent him a questioning look. \u201cOh, I doubt that\u2019s all there was to it. The bigger lesson is that you listened to God, Abel and your own heart; you never gave up hope and made life better for others as you moved through life, based on what you thought was the right thing to do. None of this would have happened if you hadn\u2019t made each good choice along the way. We can never outthink or outplan God, so maybe it\u2019s just best to listen and move when he speaks: just as you have done.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Ben.\u201d There was silence as each of those in the room contemplated the story that had just been told. Finally, Josie broke the reverie. \u201cI think God\u2019s been speaking a lot again lately. This time I didn\u2019t argue.\u201d Josie asked that the family sit again so that she could let them know of her plans.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be leaving in two days and want to thank you for a most inspiring journey.\u201d Smiling at Adam, she continued. \u201cAdam once asked me if I was trained in medicine. Doc Martin asked the same, so I thought to make use of that gift. I\u2019ve been talking with Paul ever since I brought Sunny to Virginia City, and he told me about a friend that is trying to set up a clinic on the Barbary Coast. He\u2019s both a minister and a physician who wants to care for the forgotten people who shadow the docks. Paul said that this Jackson Hughes, was looking for a sponsor, and after some correspondence with him, I\u2019ve decided I\u2019m going to be his partner. We\u2019ll also bring in a lawyer to help us file legal action where needed.\u201d Winking at Adam, she concluded, \u201cGuess you could say I\u2019ve been called to get those Israelites out of slavery after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful news!\u201d Adam looked at Ben who gave a silent nod of approval. \u201cOperations like that need lots of capital, Josie. My family will want to contribute.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Josie began laughing so hard she had to stop to catch her breath. \u201cThis family is so wonderful, but there\u2019s one small detail I might have forgotten to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat small detail, Josie?\u201d Adam asked suspiciously. \u201cWhat have you got up your sleeve this time?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Every eye in the room was trained on Josie, as she began her explanation. \u201cSunny, remember you sayin\u2019 how you were surprised I\u2019d take in a stranger without knowing anything about them? Well, I have to admit now that I didn\u2019t tell you everything just in case you weren\u2019t the sweetheart I thought you were.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The family waited expectantly as she finally told them, \u201cYou see, Hiram\u2026well how do I say this\u2026he had more money than God! He was one of the first to strike it rich in the California gold rush. He worked his claim for a time until he had so much money he couldn\u2019t possibly spend it. Then he sold the mine and made more money. I can\u2019t even count it all, but its invested and sitting in banks all over California and Nevada. So, I can run this clinic and still live like a queen for many years.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe had to pull their jaws back in place, while Adam just grinned. \u201cI think I know this answer, but why did you and Hiram live so\u2026modestly?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHiram always said we needed to take care of ourselves. Said that he made that money doing an honest day\u2019s labor and anything more than what he needed to live on was a gift, not a reward. He said he knew I would find something to do with that money and when he was dying, he told me to use it when I found it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Josie,\u201d remarked Ben in a state of shock. \u201cThat\u2019s quite a story. I remember Hiram Sullivan\u2019s name from the goldrush days. He was generous to others even back then but the story circulating was that he had died. No one could believe he would just walk away from all that gold.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe asked a few more questions about Hiram, but then along with Ben, excused themselves and adjourned to their rooms while Josie and Adam sat talking into the night. She asked Adam to tell her more about his grandfather and she told of her plans for the clinic. With a minister as her partner, she wanted to help people find their way to forgive themselves first so they could forgive those who had harmed them more easily. However, they would still prosecute those who lied, cheated and held people against their will, so it wouldn\u2019t keep happening. The first thing she intended to do was go find the place where she had worked, close it down and have the owners prosecuted for whatever offenses they could make stick.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam offered to do the revamp of any existing structure they might find or draw up plans for a new building, as a gift to the organization. \u201cWhat are you calling this place?\u201d he inquired, \u201cThe Sunshine House, or maybe Shelter from the Storm?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad, Sunny. Not bad. You can help us decide when you come to do the blueprints.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One arched brow lifted on Adam\u2019s otherwise calm face. \u201cAfter this last absence, it better be a while or Pa\u2019s going to want to send along a cavalry detachment to make sure I make it in one piece.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry child, I think Captain Stoddard will take fine care of you should you make the trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Adam wrapped his arm around Josie, pulling her close. As she leaned her head on his shoulder, they propped their feet on the table and watched the embers glow in the hearth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of Note:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

*Psalm 28:1a, 2a<\/em><\/p>\n

Music:<\/strong>\u00a0The words for the two songs I used for inspiration were written in the correct period for this story, although the music for them makes a tight squeeze into the time line. I\u2019ve included links for those who would like to hear them. (If they do not do a direct link, copy the address into your browser. I think you will enjoy them very much.)<\/em><\/p>\n

**Panis Angelicus\u00a0\u2013 A strophe from the hymn, Sacris Solemnis. Written by St. Thomas Aquinas. Music by Cesar Franck. To hear a performance of this song:<\/em><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=JJPhnzxd1fs&feature=fvsr<\/em><\/p>\n

This is an interesting adaptation done by Pavarotti and Sting! I chose this because it is accompanied by guitar, much as Adam would have done in the story.<\/em><\/p>\n

***Abide With Me\u00a0\u2013 Words by Henry Lyte: Music by William Monk:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.metacafe.com\/watch\/4140759\/abide_with_me_religious_spiritual_hymn\/<\/em><\/p>\n

You may want to start the link and come back here for the words. This is sung by Voices of the Valley, a Welsh male chorus, that I thought fitting for Mr. Roberts. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide; \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.\u00a0<\/em>
\nWhen other helpers fail and comforts flee,\u00a0<\/em>
\nHelp of the helpless, O abide with me.<\/em><\/p>\n

I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;<\/em><\/p>\n

ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.<\/em>
\nWhere is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?\u00a0<\/em>
\nI triumph still, if thou abide with me.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;\u00a0<\/em>
\nshine through the gloom and point me to the skies.<\/em>
\nHeaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;<\/em>
\nin life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Timeline:<\/strong>\u00a0For those who may try to fit a time period into this story, I have it taking place in the spring of 1861. That gives a tight fit for the Sacramento flooding to lure Adam away at the beginning, and is of course prior to the episode,\u00a0The Ride, where poor Toby gets shot. Adam would have been with his grandfather in Boston about 14 years prior to this which gives him time to see Josie leave, and then allows time for her brief stay in San Francisco and the years in Nevada before finding \u201cSunny\u201d on her way home. As my son always says, \u201cMom, suspend your disbelief \u2013 and just enjoy it.\u201d J<\/em><\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0\u00a0A stage crash has killed everyone on board…including Adam Cartwright. While Paul Martin has made a “best guess ID” of the “remains,” and even though Adam’s most personal possessions were found in the wreckage, Ben refuses to believe it is Adam. Hoss and Joe begin a journey of discovery with their father as a mystery develops that includes another man in black, attempts at blackmail and the eventual acceptance of what seems ovious – that Adam is gone. It becomes the story of two families facing the loss of a child and a woman whose care of a deathly ill stranger\u00a0may restore one of these families to completeness. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0T \u00a0WC \u00a045,000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":14538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1005,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2100,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Rainbow.jpeg?fit=275%2C183&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6724,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6724","url_meta":{"origin":6489,"position":0},"title":"Father (by pbeaking)","author":"pbeaking","date":"May 4, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 This story was originally posted on Bonanza World. It\u2019s Promotion Day for Adam Cartwright and Pa helps him deal with cold feet. Just a brief story to celebrate Father\u2019s Day. 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Rating:\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (1,400 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47614,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47614","url_meta":{"origin":6489,"position":5},"title":"Distant Grief (by MeiraB)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"October 9, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis: Adam receives devastating news from the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 PG Words:\u00a0 2,500","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/82"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6489\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}