{"id":6733,"date":"2014-05-04T19:43:53","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T23:43:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6733"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:12:23","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:12:23","slug":"the-prodigal-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6733","title":{"rendered":"The Prodigal Father (by Jayne)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>A prequel: \u00a0After the sudden death of Marie, Ben Cartwright withdraws himself from his sons, leaving Adam to take care of his young brothers during one of the hardest moments in their lives. \u00a0My first fanfiction!<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0K+ \u00a05300<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 The Prodigal Father<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Cartwright family stood over the fresh grave silently,<\/strong> except for the soft snuffling that came from the youngest, six-year-old Joe. Adam was holding him in one arm, while Hoss leaned into him on the other side.<\/p>\n

Mr. Benjamin Cartwright stood across from them, but he never looked at them. His eyes stayed trained on the sod which covered heavily the casket of his late wife, Marie.<\/p>\n

A light rain started to fall.<\/p>\n

“Pa?” Adam asked softly.<\/p>\n

“You boys go on home,” Ben answered, “I’ll be along shortly.”<\/p>\n

“But you don’t have a horse,” Adam said, looking back at the wagon which had brought them to the gravesite.<\/p>\n

“I’ll walk,” came the cold reply.<\/p>\n

Adam’s heart sank. Going home alone with his brothers meant that he alone would have to console them. However, he carried Joe and led Hoss to the wagon. All three of them sat on the buckboard, pressed together with Joe in the middle.<\/p>\n

Clicking his tongue at the horses, Adam wished for the usual plea that came from Hoss asking to help drive. Instead, the twelve-year-old kept his eyes trained on his boots as droplets of rain formed on the brim of his hat.<\/p>\n

Joe clung to Adam’s arm, his face buried into Adam’s coat. It made it a little difficult to drive, but he didn’t want to push his brother away. Hadn’t his father done that enough?<\/p>\n

In spite of himself, Adam was angry at his father. Ever since Marie died, he had distanced himself from his sons, especially Joe. Adam felt he could handle it. After all, he had handle the death of three mothers now. For Hoss and Joe, they’d never known what it was to lose a mama.<\/p>\n

Until now.<\/p>\n

Don’t you get it, Pa?<\/em>\u00a0Adam asked his father silently, we if somehow his thoughts would become Ben’s,\u00a0They need you more now than they’ve ever needed you. It’s almost as if you don’t care about us anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n

He knew his father stilled cared for them. He always snapped out of his spells, but it took awhile. Adam wondered if he could handle it himself, especially now that they had a ranch, and he had two younger brothers instead of one.<\/p>\n

I have to handle it,<\/em>\u00a0he told himself firmly,\u00a0if I don’t, no one else will.<\/em><\/p>\n

No one spoke on the ride home from the gravesite. Ther was nothing to say, and each boy was caught up in their own memories and thoughts. It was not until they pulled into the front of the barn that Hoss spoke up.<\/p>\n

“Want me to put away the horses, Adam?”<\/p>\n

Perhaps it was an excuse to get away for awhile, Adam wasn’t sure, but he slowly nodded, “Sure, Hoss, that’d be a big help. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”<\/p>\n

“You don’t need to do that none, Adam,” Hoss said in a low voice.<\/p>\n

Adam didn’t answer, but leapt from the wagon and reached up to take Joe down. Joe wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck, and rested his head on his shoulder. It was so unlike Joe, to be so quiet and listless. All he had done for the last week was cling to whoever offered sympathy, which was mostly Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n

When Sheriff Coffee had come to see how they were, Joe had sat in his lap while the sheriff spoke with the older boys.<\/p>\n

“Is Mama gonna be home soon?” Joe whispered.<\/p>\n

“I’m afraid not, buddy,” Adam answered gently, shifting Joe to his other arm so he could open the door, “You see, God took her up to heaven to be with him.”<\/p>\n

“Can I go see her, then?” Joe asked, “Will God take me up to heaven if I ask him real nice like?”<\/p>\n

“It doesn’t work that way, Joe,” Adam said, putting Joe down on the settee. “God calls people to be with Him when their time comes. Our time hasn’t come yet. But when it does, we’ll see Mama, okay?”<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. Adam knew he wasn’t explaining this too well. If only Pa were here, he might be able to make Joe understand.<\/p>\n

“Ready for supper now?” Hop Sing asked, coming out of the kitchen and looking at Adam curiously.<\/p>\n

“Yes, we’ll be ready in just a few minutes,” Adam said, “I don’t know when my father will be joining us.”<\/p>\n

“I keep his food warm for him, yes?” asked Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

“That would be fine,” Adam agreed.<\/p>\n

“Little Joe mind if I let him test cookies?” Hop Sing asked.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at Adam, a smile playing at the corner of his lips for the first time in days. “Could I? Even before supper?”<\/p>\n

“Why not?” Adam asked, ruffling Joe’s hair, “I’ll go out and check on Hoss.”<\/p>\n

Joe happily slid from the settee and followed a beaming Hop Sing into the kitchen. Adam wondered how Hop Sing knew he needed a little time with Hoss before they settled into supper?<\/p>\n

Hoss was rubbing down the horses when Adam came into the barn. “How’s it coming?”<\/p>\n

Starting at his voice, Hoss didn’t turn around. “Fine.”<\/p>\n

“Hop Sing’s got supper ready,” Adam said, “I thought I’d help you finish up.”<\/p>\n

“I ain’t hungry,” came the reply.<\/p>\n

Adam bit his lip. His little brother must be really upset if he didn’t want to eat. If there was one thing that Hoss didn’t lose easily, it was his appetite.<\/p>\n

“Hoss,” Adam said gently, placing a hand on Hoss’s shoulder, “if you wanna talk about anything, I want to listen.”<\/p>\n

“Why won’t Pa listen? I want\u00a0him<\/em>\u00a0to listen to me, Adam,” Hoss cried, whirling around and staring up at his brother with tears in his eyes. “I just want Pa back.”<\/p>\n

Adam pulled Hoss into his arms. “I know it’s hard to understand, Hoss.”<\/p>\n

“Doesn’t he love us anymore?” Hoss asked desperately.<\/p>\n

“Of course he does,” Adam assured him firmly, though his own heart struggled with the same question. “Pa will always love us.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Prodigal Father pt 2<\/p>\n

Adam put Joe to bed late in the night. He’d hoped that Pa would come home before they went to bed, but it was nearly midnight, and he still hadn’t arrived.<\/p>\n

Adam had not been in his own bed alone five minutes when he heard footsteps outside his door and a faint knock. “Adam, I can’t sleep right well.”<\/p>\n

It was Hoss.<\/p>\n

Adam opened his door. “It may be a little crowded, but you can share my bed tonight if it will help you sleep.”<\/p>\n

“You mean it?” Hoss asked, an apologetic but grateful smile on his face.<\/p>\n

“‘Course I do, little brother, just promise you won’t kick like a mule!”<\/p>\n

“I’ll try my best,” Hoss promised.<\/p>\n

Adam smiled as he watched Hoss get under the quilts. It wouldn’t be long before Joe came along, he was sure. In spite of the fact that they probably wouldn’t sleep for lack of room, he was glad he wouldn’t have to be alone. Besides, with or without his brothers, he wouldn’t be falling asleep.<\/p>\n

Adam’s prediction was right. It was only a matter of seconds before the rapid patter of feet rushed to the door. Only the person to whom these feet belonged did not have courtesy to knock. Joe just burst into the room and dove into the bed beside Hoss.<\/p>\n

“I was scared, Adam,” he explained.<\/p>\n

“Well, since we’re all here, why don’t I tell a story to put you two to sleep?”<\/p>\n

His brothers nodded eagerly.<\/p>\n

“Tell us a happy story,” Joe requested.<\/p>\n

“Yeah,” Hoss agreed, “one where everyone is happy, and there’s no one sad or nothing.”<\/p>\n

It was a simple request, but somehow, Adam felt as though he couldn’t tell a happy story if he tried. His mind was too full of sad things, and he wondered if there was any happy left.<\/p>\n

But he had to try for his brothers.<\/p>\n

The story was long, and Adam kept telling it even after both his brothers had fallen asleep. Somehow, he’d managed to tell a story that was sickingly happy, though to the three of them, there could have been nothing better. Adamwas enthralled with the family he was portraying to his brothers to the point that he couldn’t stop. Wy couldn’t his family be like that? Happy, no sadness, no hurt, no pain. Everything so perfect that you could wish for a paper cut just to get out of it a little.<\/p>\n

Adam did not end his tale until he heard the front door open and close downstairs. His story stopped abruptly as he listens for his father’s footsteps on the stairs. Always, if he came home after the boys had gone to bed, he would peep in st each of them, just to make sure they were okay.<\/p>\n

However, as Adam listened, he never heard his father’s footsteps slow long enough to even glimpse into any of their rooms. Adam felt strangely hurt by the fact, and his eyes burned with tears.<\/p>\n

Do you care about us anymore, Pa?\u00a0<\/em>Adam thought,\u00a0Or did we die with Mama?<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam somehow fell asleep in his chair by the window. He woke up to sunbeams prodding his eyes. He shook the foggy sleepiness from his head and looked at his bed, still occupied by his little brothers. Both were sprawled over it. There had been no hope for all three of them to share a bed so small.<\/p>\n

Adam had a crick in his neck, and his left arm was numb from his leaning on it for several hours. He stood up and stretched. Quickly, he got dressed and went downstairs. His father was sitting at the table eating breakfast.<\/p>\n

“Good morning,” Adam said.<\/p>\n

His father barely glanced at him. “I have to leave on business.”<\/p>\n

“What? Where? For how long?” Adam stood behind his chair, still poised to pull it out and sit down.<\/p>\n

“Sacramento for a few weeks,” Ben answered in a snappish tone. “Not tht you have any say in the matter, young man.”<\/p>\n

“No, sir,” Adam said, his gaze falling to his boots. “When are you leaving?”<\/p>\n

“Right after I finish breakfast.”<\/p>\n

Adam looked up. “I’ll go get Joe and Hoss. They’ll want to say goodbye.”<\/p>\n

“No,” his father said, “I’d rather you didn’t.”<\/p>\n

“But, Pa–”<\/p>\n

“Adam, don’t argue with me. I know what I’m doing.”<\/p>\n

Realizing his was at risk of losing his temper, Adam rushed from the room. He secretly hoped his father would call after him, tell him to come back, even if it was to be scolded.<\/p>\n

But he didn’t.<\/p>\n

He didn’t care.<\/p>\n

Adam found refuge behind the house. He leaned against the outer wall and slid down until he was sitting with his knees drawn up. Tears welled up in his eyes. How could he tell his brothers that their father had left without even\u00a0wanting\u00a0<\/em>to say goodbye?<\/p>\n

“You really don’t care anymore,” Adam whispered bitterly.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Prodigal Father pt 3<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? He left?\u201d Hoss cried, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you wake us up?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath and tried to control his emotions as he explained the hard fact to his brothers. \u201cPa didn\u2019t want me to. He probably knew you two had stayed up too late and needed to sleep in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe could\u2019ve gotten up,\u201d Joe sobbed, \u201cWe wouldn\u2019t have minded.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Joe,\u201d Adam said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen will he be home?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged. \u201cAs soon as he can, I\u2019m sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Adam got up to answer it, and was met by one of the ranch hands. \u201cYour pa here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sir, he\u2019s away on business. I\u2019ll be taking care of matters while he\u2019s away,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou<\/em>?\u201d The hand gave Adam a scrutinizing glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there something wrong?\u201d Adam asked, crossing his arms in hopes to portray every confidence he didn\u2019t feel.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d the hand said in a low voice, \u201cI don\u2019t know what I think of a kid telling me what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you do, sir,\u201d Adam countered, \u201chowever, I\u00a0am<\/em>\u00a0in charge until my father\u2019s return, whether it meets your approval or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d the man sneered, \u201cI didn\u2019t need anything. I just wanted to ask the\u00a0boss<\/em>\u00a0a personal question.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t make any reply, but maintained what he hoped was a steady stare. He\u2019d seen his father use this technique a number of times when a hired hand was overstepping the line of respect.<\/p>\n

The man smiled bitterly, turned sharply on his heel and walked briskly off the porch. Adam waited until he was out of sight before he closed the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned to see Hoss standing a little ways behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cA ranch hand,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s shoulders sagged. \u201cI kinda hoped it was Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Hoss,\u201d Adam said, sounding more critical than he intended, \u201cPa wouldn\u2019t have knocked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you\u2019re right,\u201d Hoss sighed.<\/p>\n

Adam smiled sadly, and put an arm around his brother\u2019s shoulders. \u201cListen, Hoss, I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t wake up. I would\u2019ve, but Pa said I shouldn\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t very well disobey Pa, could I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon not,\u201d Hoss agreed, halfheartedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Joe, still sitting at the table staring at his plate. He had chosen this as the day he remembered not to leave the table without being excused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe?\u201d Adam asked, returning to the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t Pa love us anymore?\u201d Joe asked softly.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Course he does, Joe!\u201d Hoss replied before Adam had a chance. \u201cHe\u2019s just real busy right now. He\u2019ll be home in no time, won\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

The question was directed at Adam, and two sets of eyes peered up at him expectantly. Adam swallowed and cleared his throat nervously. \u201cWell, he didn\u2019t exactly say when he\u2019d be home. Maybe in a few weeks or so?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA few weeks?\u201d Hoss cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s forever!\u201d Joe wailed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it might seem like that,\u201d Adam said soothingly, \u201cbut it\u2019s really notthat<\/em>\u00a0long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes it is<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Adam shook the negative thought away.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa will be home before you know it,\u201d Adam continued, \u201cand until then, I\u2019ll take care of both of you. You don\u2019t need to worry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

They weren\u2019t worried about that, and Adam knew it. They just wanted their Pa back. They all did.<\/p>\n

They needed him.<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Adam woke with a start to Joe screaming. He bolted upright in bed and stared into the darkness.\u00a0Another nightmare<\/em>, he realized, kicking off his blankets to go check on his littlest brother. It seemed that every night, Joe woke up with a reoccurring nightmare. He\u2019d told Adam about it the first time he had it.<\/p>\n

\u201cMama died, Adam,\u201d Joe had sobbed, clinging to his brother\u2019s nightshirt, \u201cbut she\u2019s in heaven, ain\u2019t she? She\u2019s not dead\/\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam had felt so lost for an explanation. \u201cShe did die, Joe, and God took her to heaven to be with Him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Pa dead too?\u201d Joe asked, his voice soft.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe, Pa\u2019s not dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Mama is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe,\u201d Adam whispered, holding his brother close.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe put her in the ground though,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHer body, yes,\u201d Adam said, \u201cbut she has a new body now, in heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA new one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep. Her old body, it got broken when she fell off the horse, so God gave her a brand new one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was sure nice of Him, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sure was, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u00a0\u00a0had laid down again, seemingly comforted, and Adam stayed with him until he fell asleep, then returned to his room. He wished he could have the same simple ideas as his little brother.<\/p>\n

But it hadn\u2019t helped Joe so much as he hoped. Every night, he still woke up crying that his mama was dead.<\/p>\n

As Adam walked down the hallway to his brother\u2019s room, he realized how tired he was. Night after night of getting up with Joe hard. He already stayed up late going over paperwork for his father, and then was out all day working. When he got home, his brother\u2019s needed taken care of, and then he was up all hours of the night trying to cure nightmares.<\/p>\n

Adam was very thankful Hoss was a sound sleeper.<\/p>\n

****<\/p>\n

Joe was talking up a storm at supper for the first time in weeks. It wasSunday night, and Adam had taken the day off to go to church with his brothers. However, today he had announced that they were going to have a picnic and go fishing for supper.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe were ecstatic, and barely managed to sit through church.<\/p>\n

Their father had been gone for almost three weeks now, and Adam was tired of all the work and stress. He needed to get out, and so did his brothers.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing readily made them a lunch to take, and even encouraged Joe to catch the biggest fish for supper. Joe had promised.<\/p>\n

Now, Joe was busily telling Hoss and Adam how he went about catching this fish, as if they hadn\u2019t been sitting on either side of him the entire time. In Joe\u2019s story, however, he had baited his own hook and even cast the line.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss exchanged humored glances.<\/p>\n

\u201cSuddenly, the front door opened, and a man walked into the room. Joe stopped midsentence, and it took a few seconds for any of the boys to recognize their father.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam said, standing up, \u201cyou\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe leapt from his chair, nearly knocking it over if Hoss hadn\u2019t caught it. \u201cPa!\u201d<\/p>\n

He threw himself at his father\u2019s legs and clung to them.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright merely patted his youngest on the head, then pulled away. He didn\u2019t say anything to any of them, but went upstairs with his saddlebag.<\/p>\n

Joe stood there, his shoulder\u2019s sagging with disappointment. Even though he knew his father wouldn\u2019t hear him, he added in a small voice, \u201cI missed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome finish your story, Joe,\u201d Adam said, \u201cWhat happened after you threw out your line?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019,\u201d Joe said, coming back to the table and pulling himself up into his chair. He stared at his half-eaten fish for a few long moments, then he looked up. \u201cMay I be excused?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s have some of that cake Hop Sing made us first,\u201d Adam said, trying to stir a little happiness in his brothers.<\/p>\n

Both just stared at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna go talk to Pa,\u201d Adam said, \u201cYou two stay here and eat some cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hoped to maybe rouse his father to pay them any mind.<\/p>\n

His father\u2019s bedroom door was open when he came up the stairs. Adam was shocked to see that his father was not unpacking, put putting things into his saddlebag.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam said, \u201cmay I come in?\u201d<\/p>\n

Been looked up from his bags. \u201cDo you need something, son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe missed you, Pa,\u201d Adam said slowly, \u201cYou wanna come down for some cake? We caught some fish today, and Hop Sing cooked them up real good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, thank you, Adam,\u201d Ben said, \u201cI\u2019m going to be leaving again early tomorrow and I need to rest up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re leaving again?\u201d Adam asked, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cYes, now please let me finish packing and get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned and fled from the room. He couldn\u2019t decide where to go. Downstairs or to his room. He knew if he didn\u2019t go downstairs, his brothers would wander up eventually. Reluctantly, he went downstairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs Pa coming down?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s really tired,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s okay,\u201d Joe said, brightening a little, \u201cwe\u2019ll see him tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, Joe,\u201d Adam said, wincing, \u201cPa has another business trip. He\u2019ll be leaving really early tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he just got home!\u201d Hoss almost shouted, \u201che can\u2019t leave again!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it seems that way, Hoss, but Pa knows what he\u2019s doing,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Or does he?<\/em><\/p>\n

****<\/p>\n

Joe and Hoss were slowly becoming accustomed to their father\u2019s constant absence. Adam, however, as he tried to juggle the ranch, his brothers, and chores, couldn\u2019t begin to cope. Every couple of weeks, their father would show up to replenish his supplies. It was only recently that he\u2019d actually greet his sons when he did come home.<\/p>\n

Adam tried to tell himself he didn\u2019t care if his father was gone all the time, but he knew he cared a great deal and was becoming more and more bitter towards him.<\/p>\n

The sheriff came out a couple times over the four months that Ben was coming and going, asking if everything was alright. Adam would readily put on a brave front and act as if he had everything under control.<\/p>\n

One night, Adam woke up in tears. He\u2019d had a dream that his father never came home, and he was left to take care of his brothers and the ranch all on his own.<\/p>\n

He knew this dream could not be completely true, because their father had been home the past three days, though they had hardly seen him as he spent most of his time either reading in his room or down by Marie\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n

Softly, Adam got out of bed and went downstairs. He was still dressed because he\u2019d gone to bed late after working on some contracts.<\/p>\n

The fireplace was still smoldering from the evening\u2019s fire. Adam added a few logs to it, stirred it up, and then went and sat on the settee.<\/p>\n

Unable to control himself any longer, Adam leaned forward on his elbows, buried his face in his hands, and cried.<\/p>\n

****<\/p>\n

Joe crept quietly down the staircase. He could hear the thunderous snoring of his older brother Hoss, which would probably cover any sound he made, but he didn\u2019t want to dare take the risk.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d had another nightmare of his mother dying. However, in this dream, his entire family had perished, in a way that can only happen in nightmares, by the startled horse that killed his mother.<\/p>\n

After this dream, the only thing that could cure him was knowing that his family was alright. So, pulling his blanket tightly around his shoulders, and letting the excess of the quilt drag silently behind him, he set about the task of locating his family members.<\/p>\n

He found Hoss easily. At least, he heard him almost as soon as he\u2019d woken from his nightmare. That may have been the only thing that had kept him from screaming. He giggled when he thought about that horrible noise his father and other brother, Adam, constantly mumbled about, eased his worry.<\/p>\n

He went next to his father\u2019s room. He saw his father sitting up, a book propped in his lap, but his chin down to his chest where he\u2019d fallen asleep. The lamp was still burning, so Joe crept in and turned it down until the flame died. He knew his father didn\u2019t like it when his brother\u2019s fell asleep with the lamp on.<\/p>\n

When Joe came to Adam\u2019s room, he nearly cried out to find that the bed was empty. He did not seem to notice that the blankets were rumpled as though they\u2019d been slept in. All he saw was that his brother wasn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n

Maybe it was a small noise downstairs that eased his concern. It was barely audible over Hoss\u2019s snoring, but it was there nonetheless. Adam was awake, downstairs, he told himself firmly, and began his journey to the huge living room.<\/p>\n

It was dark, but a faint flickering light told him that someone had stirred the coals in the fireplace, maybe put even more wood on.<\/p>\n

He finally came to the last step, and tripped on his long blanket, landing both knees with a thud on the floor. It was not a loud thud, for he had adjusted his weight carefully to avoid much noise. However, his brother had heard it, and raised his face from his hands where it had been buried.<\/p>\n

Joe saw immediately that he had been crying, and it startled him. After all, Adam was nearly eighteen, quite old enough to take care of everything as it came, never to be scared of anything.<\/p>\n

But then, that\u2019s what he had thought of his father too, before Mama died.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Adam whispered, sniffing and wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. \u201cWhat are you doing down here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was checking on you,\u201d Joe answered with complete honesty.<\/p>\n

\u201cChecking on\u00a0me?<\/em>\u201d Adam asked, sitting up.<\/p>\n

Even though it came from a six-year-old, it was the first time since Marie died that anyone had checked on\u00a0him<\/em>, and it touched him deeply. He almost started crying again.<\/p>\n

Joe realized that Adam had misunderstood his motives. He had come to check on him to make sure he wasn\u2019t dead, not to make sure he wasn\u2019t upset. Everyone was upset lately, and to check on that was unnecessary. However, he decided to take Adam\u2019s lead.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay?\u201d Joe asked, coming up to the settee where Adam sat.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201cYeah, it\u2019s nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sad about Mama?\u201d Joe asked, pushing himself onto the settee beside his big brother.<\/p>\n

To his surprise, Adam shook his head. \u201cI know this will sound selfish, but I\u2019m sad for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s right<\/em>, Joe thought\u00a0\u00a0a little bitterly,\u00a0that is selfish<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know Pa doesn\u2019t mean to have left me to do everything,\u201d Adam went on, drawing his little brother close, \u201cbut I feel abandoned, like he doesn\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. He had felt the same way lately in the last few months after the death of his mama. Pa just didn\u2019t talk to them anymore. It was almost as if he didn\u2019t know he still had sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not ready for this,\u201d Adam continued, talking more to himself than Joe, \u201cI can\u2019t take care of my brothers and the ranch. What if I mess up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t mess up,\u201d Joe said confidently. He couldn\u2019t imagine his brother possibly doing anything wrong, except perhaps being a little bossy sometimes.<\/p>\n

Adam laughed to cover up the despair he felt. \u201cI wish that were true.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss and me,\u201d Joe said, resting his head on Adam\u2019s arm, \u201cwe have to take care of you, too. We\u2019ll take care of each other until Pa isn\u2019t so sad anymore, then, he\u2019ll take care of us again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Joe,\u201d Adam agreed, putting one arm around his brother\u2019s shoulders, \u201cwe\u2019ll take care of eachother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe haven\u2019t been doing too well, huh?\u201d asked Joe, looking up at Adam\u2019s forlorn face. \u201cHoss and I haven\u2019t been taking care of you too well. That\u2019s why you\u2019re sad, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cYou\u2019ve been taking care of me fine, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll do better, Adam,\u201d Joe said, yawning, \u201cI promise we\u2019ll do better. If you have any bad dreams, you just tell me, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you have a nightmare, Joe? Is that why you woke up?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

Hesitantly, Joe nodded. \u201cBut I feel better now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a soft step on the stairs. Both boys startled and turned to see their father there, staring down at them. Joe felt his heart quicken, a little scared his father would be angry at them.<\/p>\n

\u201cMind if I join you boys,\u201d Ben asked, coming down the stairs more heavily.<\/p>\n

Adam silently shook his head, wondering how much his father had heard.<\/p>\n

Ben sat down in his chair and noticed the fearful glances in his sons\u2019 eyes. They just stared at him, as if they didn\u2019t know what to say. Almost as if they were scared of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI noticed my lamp was out,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cTh-that was me, Pa,\u201d Joe stammered, \u201cI- I know how you don\u2019t like it when Hoss and Adam leave \u2018em on when they fall asleep, so I- I put it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Joseph,\u201d Ben said with a smile, \u201cthat was responsible of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe offered a small grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope we didn\u2019t wake you, Pa,\u201d Adam said now, \u201cWe were just about to go back to bed. Joe had a nightmare, and\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard what you two were talking about,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I didn\u2019t mean nothing against you,\u201d Adam said quickly and apologetically.<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cWhat you said about me was perfectly true, son, and I should be apologizing to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa, don\u2019t,\u201d Adam pleaded, \u201cI\u2019m old enough to take care of the ranch and Joe and Hoss. I was just being petty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were not, son, you were right. You will be old enough, someday, to take over the ranch; but you will never be ready to take my place as father of this home.\u00a0I<\/em>\u00a0have been petty.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam blinked back tears. \u201cOh, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben got up from his chair and went to his sons, gathering them both up in his arms. Joe was a little confused as to what his brother and father meant, but he did realize that his father was back. He threw his arms around his pa, wearing a broad smile.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled back at first, but at last gave in to his father\u2019s embrace.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you forgive me, sons?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa!\u201d Joe said eagerly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Pa,\u201d Adam whispered.<\/p>\n

His father was home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/strong><\/p>\n

Five months later…<\/em><\/p>\n

Adam stood in the barn, stroking Sport’s soft muzzle. “I’ll miss you, boy.”<\/p>\n

“You ready to go, Adam?” Ben asked, coming up behind him.<\/p>\n

“Sure, Pa,” Adam said, turning.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. “Something’s troubling you, I can tell.”<\/p>\n

“Are you sure I should go, Pa?” Adam blurted out. He’d been holding the question in for a couple weeks now, ever since his application to college had been accepted.<\/p>\n

“I thought you wanted to go to college,” Ben said, tilting his head.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded. “I do. More than anything, I do. It’s just…” Adam paused, “I don’t want to leave. Hoss and Joe, they need me. And, you need my help here. I don’t want to–” Adam hesitated again, turning away from his father. “I don’t want to abandon my family.”<\/p>\n

“No, son, no,” Ben said softly, pulling his son into an embrace. “This isn’t abandoning us. We know you’ll come back.”<\/p>\n

“What if I don’t?” Adam asked, “What if I decide to stay east?”<\/p>\n

“We’d miss you,” Ben admitted, “but you are not tied to this ranch. You are tied to this family. And those ties, they can never be broken. No matter what. We’ll always love you, just as we know you will always love us.”<\/p>\n

Adam pulled away, “I want to come back, Pa, right now. But what about in four years?”<\/p>\n

“You can’t know about four years from now, son,” Ben said. “Neither can I. But I’ll pray. I’ll pray that you make the best the decision when the time comes. I’ll pray that you’ll use wisdom and heart.”<\/p>\n

“Thanks, Pa, I’ll pray too.”<\/p>\n

Adam smiled, looking relieved.<\/p>\n

Ben tousled his oldest son’s hair. He was sure it would be the last time he’d get away with it. His son was eighteen now. He was on the brink of manhood. In four years, he’d be twenty-two, independent and his own authority.<\/p>\n

“Come on, son, we don’t want you to miss the stage.”<\/p>\n

“Right, Pa.”<\/p>\n

Yes, his son was going to be a different person when he came back. If he came back.<\/p>\n

Ben had a strong feeling he would.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

End Notes:<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

Thank you so much for the reviews. They really are an encouragement to new writers like me (:<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0A prequel: \u00a0After the sudden death of Marie, Ben Cartwright withdraws himself from his sons, leaving Adam to take care of his young brothers during one of the hardest moments in their lives. \u00a0My first fanfiction! \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a05300<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":205,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1004,23,30,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ben-cartwright","category-drama","category-prequels","category-whn","wpcat-1004-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3947,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13866,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13866","url_meta":{"origin":6733,"position":0},"title":"A Warm Place in Your Heart (by Camera Chic)","author":"Camera Chic","date":"March 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: The family starts to heal after the loss of Marie, as Adam strives to be strong for his family. 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R: \u00a0T \u00a0 WC \u00a0 (3,570)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10742,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10742","url_meta":{"origin":6733,"position":2},"title":"Battle of the Ponderosa — aka Springtime Chaos (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"March 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A plea for help turns into an urgent ride home, and a situation no one foresaw. Rating:\u00a0 K (1,615 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ponderosapine.jpg?fit=270%2C404&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":36426,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=36426","url_meta":{"origin":6733,"position":3},"title":"The Hayloft (by BettyHT)","author":"BettyHT","date":"February 16, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 In this prequel, Ben tries for a romantic interlude, but the weather and hay fever conspire against him. 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