{"id":6819,"date":"2003-01-15T14:10:08","date_gmt":"2003-01-15T19:10:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6819"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:06:59","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:06:59","slug":"the-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6819","title":{"rendered":"The Wedding (by pkmoonshine)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>Adam Cartwright and his wife, Teresa, come to Virginia City to spend the summer with the family, and so that he might stand up for an old friend as best man in what\u2019s shaping up to be \u201cThe Wedding Of The Century.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Meanwhile, Roy Coffee has his hands full trying to put a couple of bootleggers out of business and stop an elusive thief in his tracks.<\/p>\n

“The Wedding” is the third story in the “Bloodlines” series, and includes the addition of two non-cannon characters.<\/p>\n

Rating: \u00a0T (103,190 words)<\/p>\n

Bloodlines Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bloodlines<\/a>
\nThe Lo Mein Affair<\/a>
\nThe Wedding<\/a>
\nSacrificial Lamb<\/a>
\nPoltergeist II<\/a>
\nIndependence Day<\/a>
\nVirginia City Detour<\/a>
\nThe Guardian<\/a>
\nLi’l One<\/a>
\nYoung Cartwrights in Love<\/a>
\nSan Francisco Revisited<\/a>
\nThere But for the Grace of God<\/a>
\nBetween Life and Death<\/a>
\nOrenna<\/a>
\nClarissa Returns<\/a>
\nTrial by Fire<\/a>
\nMark of Kane<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n

The Wedding<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright sat in the office of his lawyer, Lucas Milburn, carefully reading over the three-page document in his hands.\u00a0 Though he generally had no trouble deciphering the intricate and often enigmatic wording of legal documents, the process was nonetheless time consuming.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEverything seems to be in order, Lucas,\u201d he said finally.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny questions, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA request, actually,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like you to go over what the final document says . . . for Stacy\u2019s benefit, and for my own as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly,\u201d Lucas replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe first paragraph of the document declares Stacy\u2019s intention to set aside her maternal grandmother\u2019s will in favor of her aunt, Virginia McKenna, and cousins, Claire and Erin McKenna, if the conditions, spelled out in the remaining body of the document, are met,\u201d the lawyer began.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy . . . . \u201d he turned and gave his full attention to the tall, slender young woman seated in next to her father, \u201c . . . you had originally asked that the money be allotted equally into four different accounts:\u00a0 trust funds for Claire and Erin McKenna, a fund for Virginia McKenna, and, I believe your exact words were, a fund with money set aside for a rainy day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMajor Sinclair\u2019s lawyer, a Mister . . . . \u201d Lucas paused for a moment to glance at his notes, \u201c . . . Barnabas J. Kranston . . . sent me a letter stating that the his client requested that the money from your grandmother\u2019s estate be divided equally into trust funds for Claire and Erin McKenna instead.\u00a0\u00a0 The money in those funds will be turned over to them upon reaching the age of twenty-five, as we had originally stipulated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that Major Sinclair . . . Aunt Virginia\u2019s father . . . also said that he\u2019s able and willing to provide for my aunt and my cousins, too . . . leastwise until they get married or turn twenty-five,\u201d Stacy said, remembering the last letter her father had received from the major, informing them that . . . .<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . despite all of our valiant attempts to the contrary, our daughter, Virginia, for all intents and purposes, has slipped irrevocably from the real world around us into a world of her own making.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Aunt Virginia\u2019s father had gone on to say that in this \u201cworld of her own making,\u201d she was a young girl again, caught in the midst of a whirlwind courtship with one John McKenna, upper class cadet, the man she had married thirteen years ago, six months before the birth of their eldest daughter, Claire.\u00a0\u00a0 Though Aunt Virginia recognized her mother and father, she had no memory or recollection of her daughters.\u00a0\u00a0 Both, within the boundaries of her increasingly fragile mind, had become any one of a number of visiting relations.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I\u2019ll betcha anything John McKenna really IS \u2018the kindest, most gentle and loving man ever,\u2019\u00a0 in that make believe world of Aunt Virginia\u2019s,\u201d Stacy had wryly observed, giving voice to the bewilderment and anger she still harbored towards her aunt.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLeastwise, she\u2019s happy,\u201d Hoss said, his voice filled with sadness.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAfter how ever many years it\u2019s been, sufferin\u2019 as she did at the hands of that husband o\u2019 hers . . . she deserves t\u2019 know some kinda happiness.\u00a0\u00a0 I only wish she could\u2019ve found it with her ma and pa . . . and with her daughters.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cClaire and Erin are the ones I<\/strong> feel sorry for,\u201d Joe said, \u201cespecially Erin.\u00a0\u00a0 John and Virginia McKenna were pretty lousy as parents, but Erin loved \u2018em.\u00a0\u00a0 Now don\u2019t get me wrong . . . I\u2019m not sorry Sheriff Coffee ended up having to kill John McKenna, but I AM sorry Erin had to be there to see it.\u00a0\u00a0 Now, with her mother as good as being dead— \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben reached out and placed a comforting hand on Joe\u2019s forearm, and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, Son,\u201d he said quietly with a bare hint of a smile tugging hard at the corner of his mouth.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cErin HASN\u2019T lost her mother.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by that, Pa?\u201d Stacy asked<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou said it yourself at Ponderosa Plunge the day before your aunt and cousins left,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cVirginia McKenna may have been the woman who brought Erin into the world and gave her life, but she ISN\u2019T her REAL mother, and . . . I strongly suspect . . . hasn\u2019t been for quite some time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWho IS Erin\u2019s real mother?\u201d Joe asked.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cClaire,\u201d Stacy replied, answering her brother\u2019s question.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cClaire?!\u201d Joe echoed, incredulous.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cFrom what I could see, Claire\u2019s the one who protected Erin . . .\u00a0 who held her close when she was afraid . . . who dried her tears when she cried . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like The Kid\u2019s right,\u201d Joe murmured softly, his eyes round with amazement.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClaire IS Erin\u2019s real mother . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMister Milburn . . . this might sound terrible, but I\u2019ve gotta ask, what with Aunt Virginia not being able to look after herself or her daughters, \u2018n all,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat will happen to my aunt and cousins after Major Sinclair and his wife BOTH die . . . especially if they die before Claire and Erin turn twenty-five?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not a terrible question at all, Stacy,\u201d Lucas hastened to assure the girl.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn fact, I think it\u2019s a very good question.\u00a0\u00a0 Mister Kranston, in his letter, also assured me that the Sinclairs have made ample and generous provision for your aunt\u2019s care, and for your cousins\u2019 as well, if they should die before the girls married or turned twenty-five.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Milburn.\u00a0\u00a0 I had to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour cousins\u2019 trust funds will be overseen jointly by your father\u2019s accountant, Mister Jonas Sinclair . . . no relation to your aunt\u2019s family, of course . . . of Sinclair Accounting Firm Limited here in Virginia City; and the accounting firm of Smith, Smithfield, and West, presumably the major\u2019s accounting firm, in Westpoint, New York,\u201d Lucas concluded his summary of the document still in Ben\u2019s hands.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDoes everything meet with your approval?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it does,\u201d Stacy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned and glanced over at his daughter, Stacy.\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure you want to go ahead with this?\u201d he asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not in any way obligated, I want you to know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not telling me I should change my mind . . . are you, Pa?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d Ben shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI meant it when I said the decision is yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, I\u2019m sure I want to go ahead,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n

Lucas took the document back from Ben and placed it on his desk facing Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn that case, all that remains is for you to sign right here, Stacy, and for you, Ben, to sign on the line below as her parent and legal guardian.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He dipped the pen into a jar of ink and handed it to Stacy.<\/p>\n

Stacy signed her name on the dotted line indicated, then handed the pen to her father.\u00a0\u00a0 Lucas pushed the jar of ink across the desk in Ben\u2019s general direction.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben dipped the pen into the ink and signed directly below his daughter\u2019s name.<\/p>\n

Stacy exhaled an audible sigh of relief.\u00a0\u00a0 The monetary legacy left her by her maternal grandmother was, finally, signed over to her cousins, Claire and Erin, lock, stock, and barrel.<\/p>\n

Ben looked over at Stacy and smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow I can tell you that I\u2019m very proud of you,\u201d he said sincerely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat was a very generous gift on your part.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d she said, blushing, \u201cbut, I . . . don\u2019t know about being generous.\u00a0\u00a0 The truth is . . . MY future\u2019s pretty secure.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve got you, Hoss, Joe, and Hop Sing to look after me . . . and when you adopted me, you promised me that I would someday inherit a fair share of the Ponderosa, too.\u00a0\u00a0 You ALSO promised that won\u2019t happen for a very long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIndeed, I did . . . and I have every intention of following through on THAT promise, too, Young Woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d better,\u201d Stacy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnyway . . . I guess it all boils down to the fact that I don\u2019t need my grandmother\u2019s money to make my future secure, but my cousins DO, and . . . and after all the hardship they had to endure when their father . . . . \u201d she grimaced as if she had just bitten into something with an incredibly foul taste, \u201c . . . I want to make sure Claire and Erin have something to secure their future.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s WHY I\u2019m very proud of you,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf more people had of your kind of insight when it comes to money, and less greed, this world would be a lot better place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMY job would be a lot easier, too,\u201d Lucas said with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow we have one last piece of business to take care of.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He collected the pages of the first document, and placed a single page on the desk in front of Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust like before, Stacy, you sign there on the top line, Ben, you sign right below.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy took the pen and, this time, signed her name with a flourish.\u00a0\u00a0 She, as before, handed the pen to her father.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben quickly signed his name and handed the pen back to the lawyer.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s now official, Stacy ROSE Cartwright,\u201d Lucas declared with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Milburn,\u201d Stacy smiled back and shook his hand, \u201cand thank YOU, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 His eyes moved to the wall clock hanging directly behind Lucas Milburn\u2019s desk.\u00a0\u00a0 The time was a few minutes before noon.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Stacy, we need to get going, if we\u2019re going to meet that stage on time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe stage!\u201d Stacy yelped, as she shot right out of her chair.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI almost forgot!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen . . . Stacy . . . . \u201d Lucas said with a broad grin, as he also rose and walked with them to the door, \u201cplease give Adam my regards?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe will, Mister Milburn,\u201d Stacy promised . . . .<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, I see a potential problem as a result of your name change,\u201d Ben observed, as they made their way from the lawyer\u2019s office to the stage depot.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?!\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s that, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe derived so much pleasure teasing you about your old middle name.\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s the poor guy gonna do now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy laughed out loud.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, don\u2019t worry about Grandpa, Pa,\u201d she said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll find something else to take the place of . . . Loo-weese . . . .\u201d she pronounced her once and former much loathed middle name doing a comic impersonation of her third brother, \u201c . . . if he hasn\u2019t already.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m as sure of that as I am sure the sun\u2019s gonna rise again tomorrow morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandpa?\u201d Ben queried, favoring his daughter with a quizzical glance.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s been laying it on a kinda thick lately about my terrible lack of respect for my elders, whenever I tease him,\u201d Stacy explained, \u201cso I started calling him Grandpa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKINDA thick?\u201d Ben queried, mildly surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Pa, he\u2019s been laying it on REAL thick,\u201d Stacy admitted with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that brother of yours all too well,\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n

Stacy laughed, too.<\/p>\n

Most of the time, Ben enjoyed listening to the teasing banter between his two younger children.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had been an incorrigible, almost compulsive tease, from the time he had learned to talk.\u00a0 \u00a0Now, in his sister, Stacy . . . .<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . it would seem that my youngest brother FINALLY gets his comeuppance,\u201d Adam wrote a short time after he and his two younger sons had brought her home from Fort Charlotte.\u00a0\u00a0 It was clear that his eldest was absolutely delighted at the prospect . . . . \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Morning, Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Morning, Stacy,\u201d Roy Coffee greeted his friends with a warm smile.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Morning, Sheriff Coffee,\u201d Stacy returned the greeting and the smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s almost afternoon, Roy,\u201d Ben said by way of greeting.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo when do Adam and his wife arrive in town?\u201d Roy asked falling in step with the Cartwrights.<\/p>\n

\u201cNoon stage today,\u201d Ben said with a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 He had been eagerly anticipating the arrival of his eldest son and daughter-in-law for the better part of the last four weeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe kids comin\u2019 too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLater, with Teresa\u2019s mother after school lets out for the summer,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful,\u201d Roy said with all sincerity.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben and Stacy seemed to be doing very well following the tragedy that had recently befallen the Cartwright Family, those two in particular.\u00a0\u00a0 He was especially gratified to see the close camaraderie restored between father and daughter, and hear them just now laughing together with genuine mirth.\u00a0\u00a0 The arrival of Adam and his family should prove to be an additional welcome tonic.<\/p>\n

A woman\u2019s scream from the general store up ahead rudely shattered Roy Coffee\u2019s musings.\u00a0\u00a0 An audible, exasperated sigh exploded from the lawman\u2019s lips, thinning with anger.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAw fer—\u00a0\u00a0 Here we go again,\u201d he grumbled, with a sarcastic roll his eyes heavenward.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain?\u201d Ben echoed, a puzzled frown knotting his brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s been a whole long string o\u2019 robberies goin\u2019 on for the last couple o\u2019 months now,\u201d Roy explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo far, it\u2019s been small stuff . . . shopliftin\u2019, purse snatchin\u2019, pickin\u2019 pockets . . . things like that.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s a nuisance, more \u2018n anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny idea who\u2019s behind it?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNone,\u201d Roy shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhoever\u2019s doin\u2019 it moves in and out so quick, no one\u2019s been able t\u2019 catch sight of \u2018im long enough t\u2019 gimme any kind of useful information.\u00a0\u00a0 One o\u2019 these days, though, he\u2019s gonna get too cocky and slip up.\u00a0\u00a0 Then, I\u2019ll have \u2018im behind bars.\u00a0\u00a0 I just hope t\u2019 heaven it\u2019s sooner, not later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so, too, Roy,\u201d Ben said, voicing his own wholehearted agreement.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d he sighed, \u201c \u2018til then, duty calls.\u00a0\u00a0 Do me a favor \u2018n tell Adam I said hello?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure will, Roy,\u201d Ben promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSee you later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

\u201cYou two are just in the nick time,\u201d Joe greeted his father and sister with an affable grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe stage is coming up the street now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was the hold up, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy and I ran into Sheriff Coffee and talked with him for a few minutes,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0 \u201cBut most of the hold up was from trying to make sense of legal documents.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStrange the way plain ol\u2019 every day words turn into a foreign language when a lawyer puts them down on paper . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo the name change is now official, eh, Miss Stacy Rose-with-plenty-of-thorns Cartwright?\u201d Joe quipped, with an impish grin.<\/p>\n

Stacy laughed out loud.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cY\u2019 see, Pa?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t I tell ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAm I missing out on something here?\u201d Joe demanded, not grasping the punch line his father and sister found so amusing.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust your mind, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy retorted, \u201cadvanced senility will do that to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSenility?\u201d Joe echoed, looking comically incredulous.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSenility?!\u00a0\u00a0 Look, Kiddo, I<\/strong> wasn\u2019t the one who forgot to— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat WASN\u2019T my fault!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you two knock it off?\u201d Hoss admonished his younger siblings.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe stage is almost here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, come on, Hoss . . . ease up, willya?!\u201d Joe groaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat . . . I ask you . . . WHAT . . . is this world coming to when a good lookin\u2019 young man and his sister can\u2019t have a nice, civilized— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCivilized?!\u201d Hoss queried, incredulous.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCivilized?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shook his head, chuckling softly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you two think your discussions are nice \u2018n civilized . . . I don\u2019t ever wanna see your idea of a knock-down-drag-out, down in the mud rollin\u2019 around, free-for all!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what\u2019s THAT supposed to mean?!\u201d Joe demanded, favoring his big brother with the meanest, nastiest glare he could possibly summon.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means exactly that,\u201d Hoss returned.<\/p>\n

\u201cName one time one of our civilized discussions ended up in a knock-down-drag-out, down in the mud rollin\u2019 around, free-for all,\u201d Stacy challenged.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow \u2018bout when you \u2018n Joe got into that, ummm discussion!? . . . about how far you\u2019re supposed t\u2019 put your pinkie finger when you\u2019re drinkin\u2019 at a big high society do, with Candy \u2018n Mitch while we were movin\u2019 the cattle out to the winter pastures last fall,\u201d Hoss responded without missing a beat.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo Stacy and I got a little muddy,\u201d Joe shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cMake that VERY muddy, Baby Brother,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cand for the record, that was you, Stacy, Candy, Mitch, and a couple of the others.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou exaggerate, Big Brother,\u201d Joe accused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u201d Stacy declared with an emphatic nod of her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat Joe said!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Ben turned and watched the approaching stage, bearing Adam and his Mexican born wife, Teresa, with happy anticipation.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam, Teresa, and their two children Benjamin Eduardo, a.k.a. Benjy, and Dolores Elizabeth, Dio for short, had originally planned to come spend the summer at the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0 When Adam was asked to be best man for Matthew Wilson, his oldest and best friend, he and his wife decided to come earlier for the wedding.<\/p>\n

The stage drew up to the depot, and stopped.\u00a0\u00a0 The door opened.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam stepped out first, followed by a tall, handsome man clad in a pair of dark blue slacks and a gray cotton turtle neck sweater.\u00a0\u00a0 He had a full head of thick, wavy black hair, a broad chest and shoulders, well muscled, that tapered to a trim waist and washboard flat stomach.\u00a0\u00a0 He gallantly held the stagecoach door while Adam turned and helped his wife step down.<\/p>\n

Teresa di Cordova Cartwright was built along the lines of a classical Greek Goddess according to her husband.\u00a0\u00a0 Her generous bosom flowed into a trim waist and marvelously rounded hips, tastefully shown to full advantage by the custom tailored jacket and full skirt of the traveling suit she wore.\u00a0\u00a0 Its deep red hue stunningly complimented her raven black hair, her dark eyes, and healthy ruddy complexion.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s so good to see you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben, smiling broadly, immediately seized his oldest in a great big bear hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood seeing you, too, Pa,\u201d Adam smiled, and hugged back with equal strength.<\/p>\n

Father and son held on to each other for a time.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, Son, I can\u2019t say you\u2019re looking too thin,\u201d Ben teased, when at last they parted.<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa\u2019s an excellent cook, Pa, you KNOW that,\u201d Adam said, as they disengaged, \u201cand she makes a point of keeping me well fed.\u00a0\u00a0 Now, to change the subject . . . where\u2019s this sister of mine I\u2019ve heard so much about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben gently took Stacy by the hand and drew her front and center.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam, this is your sister, Stacy,\u201d he introduced his oldest and youngest with a proud smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, this is your oldest brother, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam, who remembered Stacy\u2019s mother very well, could see a lot of her in the young woman standing before him, especially in those intense blue eyes, the color of a clear autumn sky at its zenith.\u00a0\u00a0 He also sensed within his young sister a quiet, yet forceful, poised confidence and self-assurance that Paris McKenna, her mother, had sorely lacked.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam deftly took Stacy\u2019s hand in his, raised it to his lips, and kissed it.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPleased to meet you, Stacy, at last.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I\u2019m pleased to meet you, too, Adam,\u201d Stacy said with a surprised smile, and blushing for the second time within the space of half an hour.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t recall anyone ever telling me that you\u2019re so charming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it from me, Little Sister, his charm is only skin deep,\u201d Joe said with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOf course, you\u2019ll have plenty of time to find that out for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about that . . . . \u201d Adam\u2019s wife, Teresa retorted with a saucy grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI<\/strong> happen to think the man\u2019s VERY charming.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused, then added, \u201cOf course I AM ever so slightly prejudiced.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, this is my wife, Teresa,\u201d Adam said, as he placed his arm around her shoulders and drew her forward.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you do, Stacy?\u201d Teresa greeted her sister-in-law with a warm smile and a big hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad to meet you, too, Teresa,\u201d Stacy said, smiling and returning the hug.<\/p>\n

Hoss, meanwhile, studied the passenger, who stood holding the stagecoach door, frowning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey . . . it can\u2019t be . . . Apollo?!\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo Nikolas, you ol\u2019 sea dog!\u00a0\u00a0 Is that really you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man turned and broke into a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell if it ain\u2019t Hoss Cartwright!\u201d he declared, offering his hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019ve you been, you ol\u2019 landlubber, you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Apollo, how about yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve come home from the sea, Hoss,\u201d Apollo said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI decided it\u2019s time to settle down and call one port my home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, as Adam turned from his father and sister to greet his youngest brother, Joe, \u201cyou remember Apollo Nikolas, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou home for a visit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m home to STAY, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Apollo said with a big, warm smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe Sea is a tempestuous, passionate, and thoroughly irresistible mistress, but she\u2019s NOT the marrying kind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and well I know it,\u201d Ben said with a wistful smile.\u00a0\u00a0 He offered the young seaman his hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWelcome home, Apollo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Sir, it feels real good to be home,\u201d Apollo declared as he and Ben shook hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat will you be doing with yourself, now that you\u2019re home?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now, I\u2019m going to find myself a place to stay,\u201d Apollo said, \u201cget myself into a hot bath to wash away the road, shave, get myself fixed up pretty, so I can look up my girl tonight.\u00a0\u00a0 Beyond that . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Apollo,\u201d Adam called after him, \u201cthere\u2019s going to be a bachelor party for Matt Wilson . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He looked over at his father expectantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cFriday night in the back room at the Silver Dollar,\u201d Ben supplied the particulars.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSeven-thirty sharp.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re invited, if you don\u2019t have any other plans,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be there, Adam,\u201d Apollo promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood seein\u2019 you, Apollo,\u201d Hoss called after him, as he finally took his leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome here, Big Brother, and give me a hug,\u201d Adam turned and greeted Hoss with a broad grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat seeing you, too, Adam,\u201d Hoss said sincerely.\u00a0\u00a0 He and Adam exchanged bear hugs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf Teresa keeps feedin\u2019 you as well as she\u2019s doin\u2019, I\u2019m gonna be callin\u2019 YOU Big Brother, \u2018fore long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny,\u201d Adam retorted with a wry grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019ll always and forever be Big Brother, simply because you STAND a whole head \u2018n a half taller \u2018n the rest of us,\u201d Joe said with an impish grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs for Adam, we can call HIM Grandpa.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 His hazel eyes, sparkling with pure mischief focused pointedly on Adam\u2019s graying sideburns and receding hairline.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow wait just a doggoned minute!\u00a0\u00a0 If we call ADAM Grandpa, what do I call YOU?\u201d Stacy demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about Honorable and Venerable Older Brother Sir?\u201d Joe suggested in a very solemn tone of voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat punch line, GRANDPA!\u201d Stacy laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t wait to hear the rest of the joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, since I AM the oldest, I think it would be far MORE appropriate for our BABY sister to address ME as Honorable and Venerable Older Brother Sir,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0\u00a0 An amused smile tugged hard at the corner of his mouth as he entered into the spirit of his younger siblings\u2019 bantering.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can think of a few choice things t\u2019 call the both of ya,\u201d Hoss said grinning from ear-to-ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter NOT, Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa\u2019ll wash your mouth out with soap if you do,\u201d Stacy said in a tone of voice too serious and somber.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d Hoss queried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow do YOU know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I was thinking some of the same things,\u201d Stacy replied with a naughty, mischievous grin.<\/p>\n

Ben, meanwhile, turned and gave his daughter-in-law a warm hug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa, Hop Sing\u2019s gone all out preparing a Mexican menu for dinner,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful!\u201d Teresa exclaimed with genuine delight.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing prepares Mexican food better than most Mexicans, including me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow I wouldn\u2019t go so far as to say THAT,\u201d Ben protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s the expert on Mexican cooking here, Ben?\u201d Teresa demanded with mock severity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou or ME?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn this case, I bow to the superior intellect,\u201d Ben surrendered with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWise move, Pa,\u201d Adam quipped, then added gratefully, \u201cthanks again for arranging that bachelor party.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the duties of the best man, but since I don\u2019t live here anymore, I wouldn\u2019t have known where to begin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMore than happy to do it, Son,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what did you line up for the entertainment?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I found the prettiest . . . . \u201d the words suddenly died in his throat when he caught sight of his youngest son, daughter, and daughter-in-law staring at him intently.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy displayed the avid curiosity of youth about Friday night\u2019s planned festivities; while Joe\u2019s interest was piqued by a nose put very much out of joint, because he had not been included among the invited guests.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa\u2019s face, however, held enough of a threatening element to give Ben a real good case of the \u2018heebie-jeebies.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it later,\u201d he said very quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo help me, Adam Cartwright, if you end up in jail again like you did after that bachelor party for my brother Miguel . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave no fear, Teresa,\u201d Adam said smoothly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPA\u2019S the one who made all the arrangements.\u00a0\u00a0 You can rest assured everything will be orderly, tasteful, and dignified.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDaggone it, Adam,\u201d Hoss muttered under his breath, \u201cI sure hope it don\u2019t turn out to be TOO orderly, tasteful, and dignified.\u201d<\/p>\n

After the luggage had been loaded in the back of the buckboard, Adam lifted Teresa up to her seat, then climbed up and took his place beside her.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben and Hoss took the front seat, with the latter taking up the reigns.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe and Stacy rode ahead on Cochise and Blaze Face, their respective modes of transportation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand this wedding has become something on the order of the wedding of the century,\u201d Adam remarked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, seein\u2019 as how Matt and Colleen have been engaged for pert near nine years now . . . . \u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u00a0\u00a0 Talk about long engagements,\u201d Teresa remarked archly.<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, they ain\u2019t been engaged the whole time,\u201d Hoss explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s been more off and on.\u00a0\u00a0 He proposes, she accepts, they start plannin\u2019 the wedding, they fight, she breaks the engagement, they make up, he proposes . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and this has been going on for NINE YEARS?!\u201d Teresa exclaimed incredulously.<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a penny dreadful novel,\u201d Adam said wryly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMatt asked me to be his best man, I accepted.\u00a0\u00a0 I had no idea things were so complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t even know the wedding was on again until I got Adam\u2019s letter about being Matt\u2019s best man,\u201d Ben confessed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know they\u2019re not going to get into a fight and break up again?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor one thing, it\u2019s been a whole month now since he proposed, she accepted, and they started planning the wedding,\u201d Hoss replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly a month?!\u201d Adam echoed, with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a new record, Adam,\u201d Hoss said with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLately, it\u2019s only been a week or two between the marriage proposal and breakin\u2019 the engagement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that I think about it . . . this is also the closest those two have come to an actual set wedding date without calling the whole thing off,\u201d Ben added.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe three times before this?\u00a0\u00a0 Matt an\u2019 Colleen was fightin\u2019 like cats \u2018n dogs before they could even THINK about settin\u2019 a date,\u201d Hoss explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s givin\u2019 ten to one odds that the weddin\u2019 actually takes place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf!\u00a0\u00a0 Last I heard, that old scalawag was giving something closer to TWENTY to one odds,\u201d Ben said with a scowl.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c . . . uhhh, Hoss . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you haven\u2019t placed any bets with Mister O\u2019Flynn . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes ya think I\u2019d, uhhhh . . . that I\u2019d . . . w-well . . . that I\u2019d, uuhhh . . . d-do . . . what ya j-just said, Pa . . . . \u201d Hoss stammered, as he quickly turned and fixed his eyes to the road stretching out before him.\u00a0\u00a0 His reply coupled with an unusually anemic complexion drew a mildly questioning glance, with eyebrow slightly upraised from his older brother and a dark glare from his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo who\u2019s Mick O\u2019Flynn?\u201d Teresa asked, intrigued by the looks on the faces of her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in-law.<\/p>\n

\u201cAww . . . he\u2019s a li\u2019l old man, always kinda down on his luck . . . but he\u2019s a real NICE fella, \u2018n real smart, too,\u201d Hoss replied, profoundly relieved and exceedingly grateful for the change of subject.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe came to Virginia City some time last year . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . fleeing a bench warrant for his arrest somewhere else, no doubt,\u201d Ben muttered softly under his breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s what most folks call a jack of all trades,\u201d Hoss continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a con man,\u201d Ben added, \u201ca bootlegger, bookmaker, TROUBLE maker, he cheats at cards— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it was only that one time!\u201d Hoss protested.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . that you know about because he happened to get caught!\u201d Ben argued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat man has more tricks up his sleeve than a magician, AND it wouldn\u2019t surprise ME one bit if he turned out to be the guilty party behind the rash of thefts that\u2019s been going on in Virginia City for the past couple of months.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThefts, Pa?\u201d Adam queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a lot of petty thefts, Son,\u201d Ben sighed, \u201cpicking pockets, snatching purses, shoplifting, that sort of thing.\u00a0\u00a0 Roy told me about it earlier.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes Sheriff Coffee have any leads?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cRoy says the thief moves in and out so fast, no one\u2019s been able to give him a description, let alone identify him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that right there\u2019s proof positive Mister O\u2019Flynn ain\u2019t behind the thefts goin\u2019 on in Virginia City,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat man\u2019s got arthritis so bad, he can\u2019t move in \u2018n outta nothin\u2019 fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright . . . maybe he\u2019s NOT doing the actual stealing,\u201d Ben had to admit, \u201cbut it IS possible he\u2019s the BRAINS behind the whole thing like that man in Mister Dickens novel . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He fell silent trying to remember.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam, help me out here . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe man you\u2019re thinking of is Fagan, Pa,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe story\u2019s Oliver Twist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, Pa . . . . \u201d Hoss groaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re bein\u2019 a little hard on Mister O\u2019Flynn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot after all the trouble that man stirred up after what Hop Sing\u2019s relatives refer to as the Lo Mein Affair,\u201d Ben said, his scowl deepening.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Pa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you \u2018now, Pa,\u2019 ME, Erik Hoss Cartwright!\u201d Ben sternly admonished his middle son.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you realize Mister O\u2019Flynn had the gall . . . the sheer GALL . . . to blame ME for that fiasco!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn didn\u2019t mean nothin\u2019 by it,\u201d Hoss vestured hesitantly, all the while flinching away from the ferocious scowl in his father\u2019s face. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cIt was an honest mistake, Pa . . . \u2018n . . . when ya take everything into account . . . well, even YOU gotta admit it\u2019s understandable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI admit no such thing!\u201d Ben growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe fact of the matter is . . . I DIDN\u2019T do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what\u2019s this Lo Mein Affair you and Hoss are talking about?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe less said about it, the better,\u201d Ben said grimly.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Hoss went home by way of the scenic route, taking Adam and his wife past some of the more the more breathtaking vistas the Ponderosa had to offer.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa, an urbanite born and bred, was awed by the wide expanse of sky, distant mountains, blue lake waters, and the tall, stately ponderosa pine trees.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam found himself seeing his old home in a whole new way, through the entranced eyes of his wife.\u00a0\u00a0 Though the drive from Virginia City was longer, they still made good time in reaching the house.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe and Stacy, who had reached home in plenty of time to have tended their own horses, were on hand to unhitch the buckboard, with Candy\u2019s help.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I thought you an\u2019 Teresa was gonna travel light when you came for the weddin\u2019,\u201d Hoss said, as he lifted the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth bags down from the back of the buckboard.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree trunks, fifteen bags, three band boxes IS traveling light, Big Brother,\u201d Adam said, the barest hint of a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re joshin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo Nikolas\u2019 timely arrival ought to make things interesting,\u201d Joe remarked, while he and Candy freed the first horse from its harness.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow so, Grandpa?\u201d Stacy asked, as she led the first horse away from the buggy towards an open stall for a rub down.<\/p>\n

\u201cUntil Apollo went to sea to make his fortune, he and Colleen were a very, VERY close twosome,\u201d Joe explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey were good friends . . . kinda like Lotus \u2018n me until, ohhh . . . \u2018long about the fifth grade, I think . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened when they were in the fifth grade?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey fell in love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLove!\u201d Hoss snorted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJoe . . . for cryin\u2019 out loud, Apollo \u2018n Colleen were just a couple o\u2019 kids.\u00a0\u00a0 What in the world do a couple o\u2019 ten year olds know \u2018bout love?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019D say plenty,\u201d Joe quipped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrom fifth grade on, didn\u2019t they always buddy up with each other every time you had to work with a partner on a big school project?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . yeah . . . I s\u2019pose . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and didn\u2019t they always walk to and from school together?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . AND didn\u2019t Apollo always carry Colleen\u2019s books?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and when THEY were around the same age as our kid sister over here . . . how many times did that gossipy ol\u2019 busy body, Miss Mudgely, make snide comments about the two of \u2018em being joined at the hip?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . lots,\u201d Hoss replied, as he slowly exhaled a long, audible, melancholy sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Stace?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did Miss Mudgely mean when she said that Apollo and Colleen were joined at the hip?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you\u2019re older, Kiddo . . . MUCH older,\u201d Joe replied, drawing an exasperated sigh and a sarcastic roll of the eyes from his young sister.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright!\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo \u2018n Colleen DID walk t\u2019 school together . . . yeah, he carried her books t\u2019 school \u2018n back . . . \u2018n they buddied up on a lotta school projects,\u201d Hoss admitted with much reluctance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey also went t\u2019 all the dances . . . went on picnics . . . he\u2019d also win a great big teddy bear for her at the target shoot every year at the Founders\u2019 Day doin\u2019s.\u00a0\u00a0 But that DON\u2019T mean they were in love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about when Apollo left to sail the seven seas?\u201d Joe queried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie . . . Colleen\u2019s brother . . . told me that she cried for the better part of a whole long month of Sundays.\u00a0\u00a0 Now if THAT ain\u2019t love, Big Brother— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe . . . that was pert near TEN years ago,\u201d Hoss immediately pointed out, \u201c \u2018n the whole time he was gone?\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo didn\u2019t even write her . . . not one time, \u2018n it wasn\u2019t too long after he left that Colleen was steppin\u2019 out with MATT.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Li\u2019l Sister?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t Apollo Nikolas say something to Pa about getting himself clean and pretty so he could look up his girl tonight?\u201d Stacy asked, as she finished rubbing down the first horse.<\/p>\n

Joe flashed Hoss a smug \u2018See-didn\u2019t-I-tell-you-so?\u2019\u00a0 grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe . . . just in case y\u2019 ain\u2019t noticed . . . Colleen ain\u2019t the ONLY gal livin\u2019 in Virginia City,\u201d Hoss argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cI KNOW that, Big Brother,\u201d Joe replied, favoring the biggest of his siblings with a withering glare. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cSo what?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo the gal Apollo\u2019s plannin\u2019 t\u2019 see tonight ain\u2019t necessarily Colleen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn the other hand she could very well BE Colleen,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Stacy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Apollo happen t\u2019 say the NAME the gal he\u2019s fixin\u2019 to visit tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere y\u2019 are, Baby Brother,\u201d Hoss declared with a smug grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome Saturday, this weddin\u2019 is goin\u2019 off without a hitch, you mark my words.\u00a0\u00a0 I got twenty bucks ridin\u2019 on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0\u00a0 He led the first horse to the back door of the barn and released him into the enormous corral beyond, while Stacy moved the second horse to the open stall for a rub down.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam, let\u2019s start haulin\u2019 this stuff inside,\u201d Hoss said, lifting a trunk with four bags piled on top.<\/p>\n

\u201cNext time I\u2019m in town, I\u2019m betting that wedding DOESN\u2019T come off this time,\u201d Joe declared with relish.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen\u2019s gonna take up with Apollo while Matt renews his acquaintance with that gal at the Silver Dollar.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s her name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one, Grandpa?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one Frankie O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s got a crush on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh!\u00a0\u00a0 You mean Clarissa Starling,\u201d Stacy said thoughtfully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Kiddo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind placing a bet for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith what?\u201d Joe teased.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe last three advances on your allowance have you in hock for the next ten years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSLIGHT exaggeration, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy declared loftily.<\/p>\n

\u201cVERY slight,\u201d Joe countered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know for a fact Pa\u2019s gonna let you have a FOURTH advance when certain nether regions famous for hot temperatures get hit by frost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI found a dollar in my coat pocket,\u201d Stacy admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, if Pa finds out YOU\u2019RE placing bets with Mick O\u2019Flynn, you\u2019re gonna be hip deep in sheep dip,\u201d Joe said soberly, \u201cand I\u2019M gonna be all the way up to my neck if he finds out I placed the bet FOR you.\u00a0\u00a0 You know that don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you planning on telling him?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uh, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood!\u00a0\u00a0 Neither was I.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright,\u201d he agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow do you want to place your bet?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy whispered her instructions in his ear.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes grew round with shock and astonishment.\u00a0\u00a0 He whistled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTalk about your long shots!\u201d he shrugged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, well, it\u2019s your buck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Ben and Teresa, meanwhile, had gone into the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Teresa,\u201d Hop Sing greeted Adam\u2019s wife with a broad grin, \u201cso good to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s wonderful seeing you again, too, Hop Sing,\u201d Teresa greeted him with a warm smile and a hug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBen tells me you\u2019ve prepared a Mexican meal for dinner.\u00a0\u00a0 I can\u2019t wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Mrs. Teresa\u2019s honor,\u201d Hop Sing said proudly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome see!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He deftly took Teresa by the elbow and steered her in the direction of the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Ben said, with hands on hips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow does SHE rate going into the kitchen and the rest of us don\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing turned and glared defiantly at Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Teresa neat and clean lady.\u00a0\u00a0 Make no mess in Hop Sing\u2019s kitchen,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Hoss, with Adam following.\u00a0\u00a0 Between them, they carried the luggage belonging to the latter and his wife.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere do you want these?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I thought I\u2019d put you and Teresa in your old room,\u201d Ben said, \u201cunless you\u2019d rather have the guest room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy old room\u2019s fine,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Teresa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t believe this, Son,\u201d Ben said with a puzzled glance at the kitchen door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing actually invited her into his kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss let out a long, slow whistle.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow don\u2019t THAT beat all,\u201d he murmured, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Pa!\u00a0\u00a0 I DON\u2019T believe it,\u201d Adam declared.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam, let\u2019s get this up to your room,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

Adam fell in step behind his younger, bigger brother and followed him upstairs to the familiar room at the southern end of the house.\u00a0\u00a0 The arrangement of furniture remained as it had been the day he left the Ponderosa to make his own fortune elsewhere.\u00a0\u00a0 The personal items, his books, engravings of Greek antiquities, a small rock collection, the miniature portrait of his parents, all the things that defined this room as a space uniquely his own, were long gone.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa had given him the miniature portrait for his birthday the year he and Teresa had announced their engagement.\u00a0\u00a0 The other things had no doubt been relegated to the attic.\u00a0\u00a0 Now the room had the same impersonal atmosphere as the guest room.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what in the world did Teresa pack in this trunk anyway?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss half-set half- dropped the trunk on the floor next to the foot of the bed.\u00a0\u00a0 He straightened and heaved a long, heavy sigh of relief.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve picked up and carried boulders that were a sight lighter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBooks,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve heard o\u2019 heavy readin\u2019 before, but that\u2019s dadburn ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny,\u201d Adam retorted with a wry chuckle.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let\u2019s get the rest of the stuff up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can manage the rest, if \u2018n you want to get a start on the unpackin\u2019,\u201d Hoss said casting a pointed glance at the vast array of bag and baggage already deposited at various points through out the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea,\u201d Adam agreed readily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI WOULD like to get it done by bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss left and returned a few moments later with the last of Adam and Teresa\u2019s luggage.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou need any help with unpackin\u2019?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can manage with that,\u201d he said, \u201chowever, I would appreciate some hot water for a quick wash and maybe a shave before dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cComin\u2019 right up,\u201d Hoss promised.<\/p>\n

Left alone, Adam set himself to the chore of unpacking, since his wife would in all likelihood be in the kitchen with Hop Sing until the meal was served.\u00a0\u00a0 He still found that difficult to believe, given how territorial Hop Sing could be about that kitchen.<\/p>\n

This visit marked Adam\u2019s third to the old homestead since his move to Sacramento, and Teresa\u2019s second.\u00a0\u00a0 This summer would mark the first time his children ever visited the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0 By contrast, his father made a point of stopping by to see him at least once, sometimes twice a year, when business took him to Sacramento.\u00a0\u00a0 Since the arrival of Benjy and Dio, Ben, more often than not, extended his visits by several days.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, when are you, Teresa, and the kids going to come see US?\u201d Pa always asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey have yet to meet Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe . . . . \u201d \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

For the last six years, Aunt Stacy had been added to the list, as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cSoon, Pa,\u201d Adam always answered . . . . \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe for Christmas, maybe next summer when Benjy and Dio are finished with school for the year, maybe, maybe, maybe.\u00a0\u00a0 So many years of maybes, that for one reason or another never came to pass.<\/p>\n

Adam did make a point of keeping in touch with his family via the U. S. mail, and the occasional telegram, especially since his marriage to Teresa and subsequent births of their two children.\u00a0\u00a0 Still, the distance in miles and interests kept them apart.\u00a0\u00a0 Though he loved his father and two younger brothers dearly, he sometimes felt the odd man out, especially after his return home from Harvard University.\u00a0\u00a0 He could, on occasion, discuss his intellectual interests with his father, but his brothers . . . .<\/p>\n

Adam sighed very softly and shook his head.<\/p>\n

Joe would start out listening politely to what amounted to a one sided lecture, that more often than not degenerated into an angry diatribe, when the kid decided to stick his own \u2018two cents\u2019 in.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 eyes would simply glaze over at the outset.<\/p>\n

In Teresa di Cordova, he met and married a warm, passionate woman every bit his intellectual equal.\u00a0\u00a0 His father and brothers came to Sacramento for the wedding.\u00a0\u00a0 They, of course, fell in love with her the moment they met her.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa was able to relate and talk to them with an ease that left Adam feeling a little envious.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many more years do we have left to us?\u201d<\/em> Adam pondered the question silently, regretting the near decade of unfulfilled maybes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNone of us are getting any younger.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Seeing his brothers, Hoss and Joe, at the stage depot this afternoon, brought home this inevitable fact of life with all the force of a sledgehammer.\u00a0\u00a0 When he had left the Ponderosa, both of them were practically kids, especially Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 The brothers he saw today were grown men, his peers rather than his kid brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and today I meet my kid SISTER . . . who\u2019s not much of a kid anymore . . . for the very first time!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam ruminated, realizing for the first time that it had been quite awhile since Pa had last referred to her as \u2018a li\u2019l slip of a gal\u2019 in his letters.<\/p>\n

A soft knock at on the open door drew him from his reverie.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned and saw his father with a bowl of steaming hot water.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Adam said, taking the bowl from Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa still with Hop Sing in the kitchen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded, as he stepped into the room.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI just looked in on them,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing was letting her sample the meat for the tacos.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d Adam looked over at Ben, eyebrow raised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe last time I<\/strong> tried to sample something while it was cooking, Hop Sing chased me all the way out to the corral.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember,\u201d Ben said with a chuckle.<\/p>\n

Adam opened his toiletries bag and removed his razor, brush, cup, and shaving soap.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLooks like Hop Sing\u2019s mellowing out in his old age,\u201d he remarked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot hardly, Son,\u201d Ben said, grinning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing would have run your baby brother and sister out of the kitchen with a carving knife about a month ago, if I hadn\u2019t intervened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA carving knife?!\u201d Adam queried with a wry smile and upraised eyebrow.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, ok . . . slight exaggeration,\u201d Ben admitted with a chuckle.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and you . . . intervened?\u201d\u00a0 Adam laughed along with his father.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGotta hand it to ya, Pa . . . you\u2019ve got more guts than I have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing said to tell you dinner will be served in an hour,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think I need to remind ya to be seated at the table on time, ready to eat it while it\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad there\u2019s a few things in this world that never change,\u201d Adam said with a nostalgic smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I\u2019d better let you get washed and shaved, Son.\u00a0\u00a0 See you at the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Pa,\u201d Adam said as he lathered his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThanks again for the hot water.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Apollo Nikolas, meanwhile, checked into Kirk\u2019s Hostelry, a boarding house owned and operated by one Rita Mae Kirk and her widowed mother, Eloise.\u00a0\u00a0 Located on a quiet street near the edge of town, the establishment offered clean linens, comfortable beds, and good old fashioned home-style cooking, prepared by Eloise Kirk herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo Nikolas, as I live and breathe!\u201d Rita Mae declared smiling broadly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hear say you\u2019re home for good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see news still travels fast in Virginia City,\u201d Apollo observed with a wry grin, \u201cand I\u2019m NOT talking about the telegraph wires.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing faster than Miss Mudgely\u2019s word of mouth,\u201d Rita Mae replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow where\u2019s that Billy Lee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about Billy Lee,\u201d Apollo said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can heft m\u2019 own gear.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He bent down and picked up a large, canvas duffle bag and a smaller carpetbag.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou just lead the way, Rita Mae.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo\u2019s parents, Demetrius and Hellene Nikolas had died not long after he put to sea, both within six months of the other.\u00a0\u00a0 His mother had finally succumbed to the illness she had fought so valiantly for a number of years.\u00a0\u00a0 His father, according to Doc Martin, had simply wanted to be with the wife, with whom he had shared the better part of thirty-two years.\u00a0\u00a0 Both were buried, side-by-side, on the hill overlooking the big pasture and the pond enclosed within.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . it was their favorite spot,\u201d his twin sister, Athena, had written in the letter informing him of their parents\u2019 deaths.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey went out there together every night to watch the sunset, unless the weather was bad or if it was too cold, until Mama became too weak.\u00a0\u00a0 A few days before Mama died, they asked Jack and me to bury them there on top of that hill.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His sister and brother-in-law, Athena and Jack Hurley, now owned and worked the farm that had once belonged to his parents.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhich is only fitting since they\u2019ve been helping Papa with the farm since the day they said their \u2018I do\u2019s, more years ago than I care to count sometimes,\u201d<\/em> he mused silently.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey also helped Papa take care of Mama and, when Papa became sick that last time, they looked after him, too.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Athena and Jack had identical twin sons, Harlan and David, both of whom were children when he put out to sea all those years ago, and a daughter Cassandra, who was barely out of diapers.\u00a0\u00a0 The Hurleys were all the family he had left in the world.\u00a0\u00a0 Tomorrow morning, after breakfast, he planned to ride out and see them.<\/p>\n

Tonight, however, Apollo planned see the beautiful girl who had haunted his dreams mostly waking, occasionally sleeping, for the past ten years.\u00a0\u00a0 He wrote her nearly everyday for that last decade, though he had not heard word one from her.\u00a0\u00a0 This he blamed entirely on the inherent difficulty of getting the mail through to sailors at sea.\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo had also kept himself wholly for her, except for the few times he was feeling especially homesick, and had sought comfort in the arms of a stranger in an exotic port of call half way around the world.\u00a0\u00a0 Even so, in his own mind, he had never given his heart to any of those lovely exotic women.\u00a0\u00a0 That was, and always would be, reserved for Miss Colleen Bridget O\u2019Hanlan.\u00a0\u00a0 It never occurred to him that ten years had passed since he had last seen Colleen, and that she might have given her own heart to another in that time.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve arrived just in time for the Wedding of the Century,\u201d Rita Mae said as she led the way up the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatt Wilson?\u201d Apollo queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve heard?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly about the bachelor party,\u201d Apollo replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI come in on the same stage as Adam Cartwright, the best man.\u00a0\u00a0 He and his pa invited me to the party.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally,\u201d Rita Mae murmured tonelessly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre you . . . going?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo had to chuckle at her hesitancy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOf course I\u2019m going,\u201d he declared stoutly.\u00a0 \u201cOne thing I do remember before putting out to sea was that the Cartwright family knew how to give great parties.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 His face fell slightly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ve not forgotten how . . . have they?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, absolutely not,\u201d Rita Mae said quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHave you, uuh . . . seen Colleen yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet,\u201d Apollo replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was planning to visit this evening, which reminds me, Rita Mae . . . can I get hot water for a bath and shave?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see to it at once,\u201d Rita Mae replied, as they came to a stop before the closed door at the far end of the corridor.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere you are, Apollo.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She opened the door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cKeys . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She tossed them onto the dresser next to the door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBreakfast begins at eight sharp.\u00a0\u00a0 Dinner\u2019s at noon, and supper on the dot of six.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Rita Mae.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rita Mae pulled the door shut behind him, after he had entered.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 oughtta be ashamed o\u2019 yourself, Miss Margarita Mae Kirk.\u00a0\u00a0 Do you hear me?!\u00a0\u00a0 Ashamed!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was her mother, Eloise standing a few feet behind her with a thunderous scowl on her face, and both hands planted firmly on her hips.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what have I done to be so ashamed o\u2019 myself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI listened to everything you told Apollo,\u201d her mother said severely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t recall you sayin\u2019 one word about Colleen O\u2019Hanlan bein\u2019 the one whut\u2019s gettin\u2019 hitched to Matt Wilson.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, of course not,\u201d Rita Mae said, \u201cand he\u2019s not going to hear it from me, either.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused for a moment to glare at her mother.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to know why?\u00a0\u00a0 Because I have twenty-five bucks riding that says Matt and Colleen are finally gonna go through with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna find out,\u201d Eloise said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSooner or later, he WILL.\u00a0\u00a0 You know how people in this town\u2019re given t\u2019 talk . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 This last prompted a wry glance from her daughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe that as it may, Ma,\u201d Rita Mae said with an indifferent shrug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s NOT going to hear it from ME.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Dinner at the Cartwright home was served exactly one hour later.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben occupied his usual place at the head of the table, with Adam on his right and Hoss on his left.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa sat between Adam and Stacy, with Joe on the opposite side of the table sandwiched between Hoss and Candy.\u00a0\u00a0 Hop Sing sat at the foot of the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, this meal is wonderful,\u201d Teresa sighed with pure pleasure.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d forgotten how talented you are in the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mrs. Teresa,\u201d Hop Sing grinned from ear to ear.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMore enchiladas?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, don\u2019t mind if I do,\u201d Teresa replied, eagerly helping herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about Miss Stacy?\u201d Hop Sing queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019ll have some more . . . . \u201d she looked over at Teresa \u201c . . . enchiladas?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSi,\u201d Teresa replied with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have another taco, too,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing, this IS delicious.\u00a0\u00a0 I hope you\u2019ll cook Mexican more often.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Miss Stacy,\u201d Hop Sing said, smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cComing from you, that high praise.\u00a0\u00a0 Very high praise indeed!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Kid, you and Big Brother here change bodies?\u201d Joe queried looking from Stacy over to Hoss, then back to Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not the last time I checked,\u201d Stacy replied, as she dug into one of the enchiladas on her plate with relish.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re chowing down like there\u2019s no tomorrow the way HOSS usually does, and he\u2019s picking at his plate like YOU usually do,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Hop Sing . . . and Teresa,\u201d Hoss said, his voice filled with remorse.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis little stuff \u2018s all well an\u2019 good, but a big fella like me needs something he can . . . well, he can sink his teeth into.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEat, Mister Hoss,\u201d Hop Sing laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPlenty more for big fella to sink teeth into waiting in kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, about the entertainment Friday night,\u201d Adam said, leaning in closer to his father.<\/p>\n

Ben invited Hoss to join the huddle with a glance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBoys, I\u2019ve lined up twelve Parisian dancing gals,\u201d he said, his dark eyes gleaming with eager anticipation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs in from Paris, France, Pa?\u201d Hoss queried, taking care to keep his voice low.\u00a0\u00a0 His blue eyes sparkled with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Son, as in from Paris, France,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0\u00a0 He darted a quick glance at Stacy and Teresa, and saw, much to his satisfaction and relief, that the two of them had their heads together in what looked to be very animated conversation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBoys,\u201d he continued, \u201cthese ladies have GOT to be the twelve prettiest women west of the Mississippi.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Joe, eagerly eavesdropping with a big silly grin on his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou REALLY got the twelve prettiest gals west of the Mississippi coming to this shindig?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve the twelve prettiest gals west of the Mississippi coming to this party, eh?\u201d Teresa said, glaring daggers at the three men seated and the head end of the table.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, it looks like the two of us are invited after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and where, pray, would you get an idea like THAT?\u201d Adam queried, favoring his loving wife with a disdainful glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the only LOGICAL conclusion,\u201d Teresa returned, every bit as wry, sarcastic, and disdainful as Adam could be at his very worst.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe quickly raised his napkin up to cover his mouth, hiding the big silly grin he could not erase, not even to save his life.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy gut tells me I\u2019m better off NOT asking this, but I\u2019ve got to know . . . . \u201d Adam returned, \u201cwhat, exactly, is your reasoning?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen just got through saying that he\u2019s arranged for the twelve prettiest women west of the Mississippi to be at this party, correct?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes . . . . \u201d Adam replied, bracing himself for the dropping of the other shoe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, given that Stacy and I . . . . \u201d Teresa turned and favored her sister-in-law with a smile and a wink, \u201c . . . happen to be tied for the number one spot . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re absolutely right, Teresa,\u201d Ben said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s make that the twelve prettiest gals west of the Mississippi . . . PRESENT COMPANY EXCEPTED.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam flashed his wife a smug cat-that-ate-the-canary grin, and deftly thumbed up his nose.<\/p>\n

Teresa immediately retaliated by sticking out her tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . ummm um!\u201d Joe quipped, his grin broadening.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam, the minute you introduced me to this lovely lady, I just knew that Teresa was gonna be real good for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, thank you, Joe,\u201d Teresa said, smiling warmly over at the younger of her two brothers-in-law.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . . Hoss . . . we\u2019ll discuss this later,\u201d Ben said, looking from Joe, to Teresa, to Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa, I need a really big favor from you,\u201d Stacy said, returning her attention to the meal at hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly,\u201d Teresa readily agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you need?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m having a dress made for this wedding,\u201d Stacy explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa said I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa was absolutely right,\u201d Joe teased.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBritches and boots are definitely NOT the right kind of attire for a young la—uhhh . . . oops!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He flinched under the homicidal glare she leveled in his direction, \u201c . . . uuhh, make that young WOMAN . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s better,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . to wear to a wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Pa was ALSO absolutely right when he said you have to wear your . . . how do you phrase that?\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah!\u00a0\u00a0 Your monkey suit!\u201d Stacy countered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do NOT!\u201d Joe indignantly protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do SO!\u201d Stacy argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo NOT!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do SO!\u201d Ben immediately chimed in before Stacy could open her mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, come ON, Pa,\u201d Joe groaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo I really HAVE to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you do,\u201d Ben said sternly, \u201cWITH a tie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA tie?!\u201d Joe cried out in complete and utter dismay.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Son . . . a TIE!\u201d Ben reiterated<\/p>\n

\u201cOooohh NO!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaaa-aaaaahhh . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway . . . . \u201d Stacy returned her attention to Teresa, \u201cI\u2019m supposed go in for a fitting tomorrow afternoon, and I\u2019d like you to come along as a consultant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, I\u2019d be honored,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n

Ben, overhearing snatches of the conversation between his daughter and daughter-in-law, was gratified and deeply relieved that Stacy had actually sought Teresa\u2019s counsel on her own.\u00a0\u00a0 In recent months, he found himself fretting more often about the scarcity of feminine influence in his daughter\u2019s life.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy was no longer a child.\u00a0 \u00a0She was, almost overnight, blossoming into a lovely young woman.\u00a0\u00a0 It seemed so to him, anyway.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben had no illusions about his own ignorance in such matters as appropriate attire for young women.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy knew even less than he did about such things.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her insistence on keeping the details of her new dress a surprise had done nothing to ease his worries.<\/p>\n

That coupled with a conversation a few weeks ago with his youngest son on that particular subject . . . .<\/p>\n

. . . a conversation that he couldn\u2019t begin to recall to save his life, except for a handful of certain key words like bright colors . . . satin . . . like the gals at the Silver Dollar wear.<\/p>\n

Ben offered a silent heartfelt prayer of thanks for his daughter-in-law\u2019s fortuitous arrival.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Pa,\u201d Hoss said sotto voce, \u201cStacy and Teresa are back talkin\u2019 with each other again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey certainly are,\u201d Adam agreed, as he and Hoss moved back in close.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell us again about them prettiest twelve gals this side of the Mississippi,\u201d Hoss prompted with an eager grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cPresent company excepted, of course,\u201d Adam added wryly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re Parisian can-can dancers,\u201d Ben said, taking care to keep his voice low.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s can-can dancers, Pa?\u201d Hoss queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cShort skirts kicking up lots of loo-ooo-ng, shapely leg,\u201d Adam replied with a sly grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cShort skirts kicking up lots of long leg, \u2018ey?\u201d Joe echoed, raising his voice loud enough for his sister and sister-in-law to hear.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy wasn\u2019t I invited to this party?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, BABY Brother, this happens to be a PRIVATE conversation,\u201d Adam said sardonically.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t even know Matt Wilson,\u201d Hoss pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do SO!\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 ain\u2019t a close friend like Adam \u2018n me,\u201d Hoss countered.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0\u00a0 You can always join me and the guys for a couple o\u2019 beers over at the Bucket of Blood on Friday night,\u201d Candy said with a wry, ironic grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d Joe sighed, thinking of how beer and a night out with the boys were poor substitutes for short skirts and long legs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll, umm . . . let you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, tomorrow we could ALL go into town together,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss and Adam can take the buckboard, pick up the food and decorations for the party, and get the stuff over to the Silver Dollar for Friday night . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . while you drive Teresa and me in the buggy to the dress shop and join the guys later?\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . h-how did you know I w-was going to suggest . . . . ?!\u201d Ben stammered, taken completely by surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, even I<\/strong> could see that one coming,\u201d Joe said grinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll see it when it\u2019s finished, Pa.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy obstinately stood her ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Young Woman, you\u2019ve forced my hand,\u201d Ben said sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh, Kid, you\u2019re in for it now,\u201d Joe crowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m willing to forget the last three advances on your allowance,\u201d Ben said, drawing looks of shock and stupefaction from his three sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, that\u2019s an offer I CAN\u2019T refuse,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0 \u201cOk, YOU can come, Pa, just remember, Teresa\u2019s my consultant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll remember,\u201d Ben promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not fair, Little Sister,\u201d Hoss complained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow come Pa gets to see your new dress first?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause the last three advances on my allowance have me in hock until Christmas,\u201d Stacy replied, \u201cof NEXT year.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, there IS the matter of what\u2019s become known as the Lo Mein Affair,\u201d Joe threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had nothing to do with that, Joseph Francis Cartwright, and you da—uhhh!\u00a0\u00a0 You, ummm DARNED well know it!\u201d Stacy declared, with an indignant scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe circumstantial evidence is awfully compelling, Kiddo,\u201d Joe hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, ok, you guys win,\u201d Stacy acquiesced quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou can come, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeeing as how everyone else is going, I might as well invite myself along,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing . . . Candy, we might as well make it a family outing,\u201d Stacy sighed, surrendering to the inevitable.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis I\u2019ve got to see,\u201d Candy said grinning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be there with bells on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing come, too,\u201d Hop Sing promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like that fitting room at Madame Darnier\u2019s shop\u2019s gonna be awfully crowded tomorrow,\u201d Stacy sighed.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Clarissa Starling sobbed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow could he do this to me?\u00a0\u00a0 He an\u2019 I were talkin\u2019 about our own wedding, f-f-for c-cryin\u2019 out loud.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sat before the vanity table in her room upstairs at the Silver Dollar Saloon, still wearing a nightgown of silk, dyed a light sea green, and matching satin wrap.\u00a0\u00a0 She had green eyes the color of tree leaves in summertime, and long, thick, luxurious curls the color of burnished copper.\u00a0\u00a0 Aged in her early twenties, she had a slim, willowy figure, with flat stomach and a subtle curve of the hip.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa had started work at the Silver Dollar four years ago when her pa died suddenly in a mine collapse.\u00a0\u00a0 Her mother had never recovered from the shock and grief.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa, the eldest, found herself in the place of having to earn a living to not only support herself and her mother, but three younger sisters as well.<\/p>\n

Sally Tyler, Clarissa\u2019s closest friend and confident since she had gone to work at the Silver Dollar, rose from the bed on which she had been sitting and walked over to stand behind the distraught younger woman.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d she murmured, as she slipped her arms around Clarissa\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cB-but?\u201d Clarissa sniffled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut what, Sally?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sally sat down on the edge of the vanity table bench.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa, this is a harsh fact o\u2019 life for gals like us,\u201d she said, looking her friend earnestly in the eye.\u00a0\u00a0 Her heart went out to the young woman seated next to her.\u00a0\u00a0 Had it not been for her pa\u2019s sudden demise in that cave in a few years ago, Clarissa would now be married to a decent man very much like Matt Wilson, leading the life of a rancher\u2019s wife or a respected Virginia City matron.\u00a0\u00a0 Though Clarissa still clung to that dream for dear life, the ever-practical Sally knew that, for all intents and purposes, her dream had died the first day the girl started work at the Silver Dollar.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa, look at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clarissa looked over meeting Sally\u2019s hazel eyes with her own vivid green ones, sparkling with the brightness of unshed tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re young and very pretty,\u201d Sally said sincerely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s more, you\u2019ve got the kind o\u2019 prettiness that lasts.\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019ll still be pretty long after I\u2019ve gone to fat and Laurie Lee\u2019s turned into a spindly ol\u2019 prune.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clarissa smiled through her tears at the thought of the vivacious Laurie Lee Bonner turning into a wrinkled prune.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat means you\u2019re gonna have men takin\u2019 up with you for many years t\u2019 come,\u201d Sally continued, \u201can\u2019 nine outta ten of \u2018em will talk real big about gettin\u2019 married, but the minute their respectable girlfriends . . . . an\u2019 sometimes even their wives, beckon, they\u2019re off like a shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not right,\u201d Clarissa sobbed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it ain\u2019t,\u201d Sally agreed wholeheartedly, \u201cbut that\u2019s the way it IS.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused to allow her words to sink in.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoney, the sooner you accept that, the less your heart\u2019ll be broke over men like Matt Wilson.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean I\u2019m never gonna get married?\u00a0\u00a0 Never gonna have a brood o\u2019 kids o\u2019 my own?\u201d Clarissa asked dismally.<\/p>\n

Clarissa looked so grief-stricken, Sally almost burst into tears herself.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou might,\u201d she said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJenna Wilkes, bless her heart, got herself hitched last year to a right decent fella from Carson City, but you can\u2019t bank your hopes on that anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t YOU ever wanna get married, Sally?\u201d Clarissa asked.<\/p>\n

Sally shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBein\u2019 the oldest gal in the family, I had to pretty much take over the cookin\u2019, cleanin\u2019 an\u2019 helping Pa raise two rambunctious kid brothers after Ma died,\u201d she replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAfter Ralphie, the youngest, came o\u2019 age, I kinda felt like I\u2019d done raised MY kids.\u00a0\u00a0 I wanted more \u2018n anything to be on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have any regrets, Sally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Sally shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 She gave her young friend a reassuring hug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s gettin\u2019 late, Clarissa,\u201d she said in a gentle, yet firm tone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTime t\u2019 be washin\u2019 your face an\u2019 gettin\u2019 dressed, so\u2019s we c\u2019n grab a bite o\u2019 supper.\u00a0\u00a0 We go to work at seven sharp.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Apollo left Kirk\u2019s Hostelry that evening promptly at seven o\u2019clock.\u00a0\u00a0 He had bathed, shaved, and had even found time during the afternoon to make a trip to the barbershop.\u00a0\u00a0 He wore his dark blue first mate\u2019s uniform with a white turtleneck sweater.\u00a0\u00a0 As he climbed up on the horse he had rented from the livery stable, Apollo cursed himself for not remembering to buy flowers.\u00a0\u00a0 He did, however, have a special gift, beautifully wrapped by Rita Mae Kirk, tucked away safely in the pocket of his jacket.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a piece of scrimshaw, intricately carved into a bas relief of leaves and flowers, from a whale\u2019s tooth.\u00a0\u00a0 In the center was a heart, etched with his and Colleen\u2019s names.<\/p>\n

He arrived at the O\u2019Hanlan residence at precisely ten minutes past the hour.\u00a0\u00a0 He tied his horse to the nearest hitching post and bounded up the three wooden steps from the street to the front door with the excitement and exuberance of a schoolboy.\u00a0\u00a0 He pulled the carefully wrapped gift from his pocket and knocked on the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, My Love, y\u2019 haven\u2019t changed a bit!\u201d Apollo declared as he seized the strawberry blonde haired, blue eyed young woman who had answered the door, in his big strong arms and danced with her around.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho . . . Apollo?\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo Nikolas?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, My Darling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo, I\u2019m not my sister.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m MOLLY.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly?\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s going on out there?\u201d Colleen O\u2019Hanlan demanded, as she flounced into the living room.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMa says— \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 All further words died before she could give them utterance, upon catching sight of the handsome man dressed in his first mate\u2019s uniform.\u00a0\u00a0 She gazed up at him, through eyes round as saucers, unable to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen?\u201d Apollo said tenderly.<\/p>\n

\u201cA-Apollo?\u201d she barely managed to stammer out his name.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cW-what are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve come to see you,\u201d Apollo replied with a warm smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen, My Love, I\u2019ve made my fortune, and I\u2019ve come home, for good.\u00a0\u00a0 Surely you got my letter . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen stared at him, too dumbfounded to even speak.\u00a0\u00a0 At length, she pivoted with excruciating slowness, then ran up the stairs, leaving her younger sister, Molly and Apollo staring after her in shocked bewilderment.<\/p>\n

\u201cCOLLEEN . . . WAIT!\u201d Apollo called after her a few moments later, upon finding his own voice.\u00a0\u00a0 He started for the still open front door of the O\u2019Hanlan house.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no you don\u2019t!\u201d Molly growled interposing herself between Apollo and the open door.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, please!\u201d he begged.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Molly stubbornly stood her ground.<\/p>\n

For a moment, Apollo was completely taken aback.\u00a0\u00a0 The obstinate young woman, with an angry look on her face ready to kill, was a far cry from the painfully shy Molly O\u2019Hanlan he remembered.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, please stand aside,\u201d he ordered, drawing himself up to full height.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will NOT,\u201d she declared.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo Nikolas, the ONLY way you\u2019re getting into that house is over my dead body!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt WON\u2019T come down to that!\u201d Apollo said, his jaw set with stubborn determination of his own.\u00a0\u00a0 He reached down and lifted the diminutive Molly in his arms, intending to set her aside, well out of the path between him and the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cAPOLLO NIKOLAS, YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!\u201d Molly screamed at the top of her voice, kicking and pummeling his chest and shoulders with her balled fists.<\/p>\n

Apollo was ill prepared for her transformation onto the snarling, angry cougar he suddenly found himself holding in his arms.\u00a0\u00a0 With the elastic ease of a big, wild cat, Molly twisted in the firm grip of his arms and bit his hand so hard, she drew blood.\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo yelped with pain, finally releasing her.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly fell, landing in an ungainly heap on the front porch.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the bloody hell\u2019s goin\u2019 on out here?\u201d an angry masculine voice demanded.<\/p>\n

Molly gracelessly scrambled to her feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Apollo Nikolas, Pa,\u201d she said angrily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe tried to force his way into the house, but I wouldn\u2019t let him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou g\u2019won back inside, Molly, I\u2019ll handle this,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan addressed his youngest daughter in a more kindly tone.\u00a0\u00a0 He was acutely aware of the sudden presence of Mrs. Hannah Adams, the bank president\u2019s wife and busy body of a next door neighbor, standing outside on her front porch, pointedly staring.<\/p>\n

Molly nodded and retreated to the safety of the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Nikolas, I\u2019ll thank you to leave,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan ordered, drawing himself up to full height.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot until I see Colleen,\u201d Apollo insisted stubbornly.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen doesn\u2019t want to see you,\u201d Francis said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNot now, or ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Colleen doesn\u2019t want to see me, let HER tell me,\u201d Apollo said, standing akimbo, his arms folded defiantly across his broad chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo Nikolas, you will remove your sorry carcass from my front porch, or I\u2019ll remove it for you,\u201d Francis threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t leave \u2018til I see Colleen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat does it!\u201d Francis growled, removing his jacket.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat may I ask is goin\u2019 on out there?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan appeared at the front door, with broom in hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cBack into t\u2019 house with ya, Woman,\u201d Francis growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m takin\u2019 care o\u2019 this!\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, her mouth set in a grim determined line walked out of the house and across the porch with all the ferociousness of a legendary Celtic warrior goddess.\u00a0\u00a0 Brandishing her broom as a weapon, she soundly swatted Apollo Nikolas upside the head with it.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBe off with ya, Apollo,\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot until I see— \u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna hit him again with the broom, bringing to bear every ounce of strength, born of her growing wrath and indignation. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cI said be off with ya!\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo threw up his hands to protect himself.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back!\u201d he vowed, backing off the front porch.\u00a0\u00a0 His foot missed the steps.\u00a0 He fell on the dirt road below, landing on rump.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI swear, I\u2019ll be back, and I\u2019ll keep comin\u2019 back until I see Colleen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU DO, AND . . . SO HELP ME, APOLLO NIKOLAS . . . SO-OOOO-OOO HELP <\/strong>ME . . . I\u2019LL HAVE SHERIFF COFFEE THROW YOUR SORRY ARSE IN JAIL,\u201d Myrna yelled back.\u00a0\u00a0 An outraged gasp, followed immediately by a second, caught and drew her attention.\u00a0\u00a0 She turned slowly and saw, much to her horror and chagrin, Hannah Adams staring back at her clutching her own porch railing for support.\u00a0\u00a0 Her mouth was open, and face white as a sheet.\u00a0 Behind her stood Mrs. Myra Danvers, one of the staunchest pillars of church, society, and community, glaring back at her reprovingly.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

The following morning, Adam and Teresa rose at dawn to get in a ride before breakfast.\u00a0\u00a0 They rode together in companionable silence to Ponderosa Plunge, a high rocky cliff overlooking a valley of deep blue lake, tall ponderosa pine trees, and mountains in the far distance.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam had given the spot that name himself the first time his father took him there at the age of thirteen.\u00a0\u00a0 In the ensuing years, it became his special place work through problems, to think, reflect, meditate, or simply to be alone.<\/p>\n

They reached the top of Ponderosa Plunge just as the smallest sliver of sun showed itself along the distant line of mountains.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam gallantly held Teresa\u2019s horse while she dismounted, then tethered them to a place well away from the edge.\u00a0\u00a0 They walked, hand in hand, out on the rocky promontory.<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa . . . feast your eyes on that,\u201d Adam said, gesturing broadly to the magnificent vista spread out before them, bathed in the rose pink light of sunrise.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know for certain whether or not I\u2019ll see heaven someday, but even so . . . I can\u2019t imagine the beauty of heaven surpassing the beauty of the Ponderosa.\u201d\u00a0 [i]<\/p>\n

\u201cGlorious, Adam,\u201d Teresa sighed, completely awestruck.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing less than glorious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d forgotten how beautiful the Ponderosa really is,\u201d Adam said wistfully, as he moved in behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.<\/p>\n

Teresa snuggled closer, placing her hands over his.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think I could ever forget a place like this,\u201d she said, her eyes greedily drinking in the view.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess it comes of growing up in a place, and taking it for granted because you see it every day,\u201d Adam said wistfully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll never take it for granted again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you miss the Ponderosa?\u201d Teresa asked gently.\u00a0 \u201cAnd the life you had here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d Adam confessed, gently turning her to face him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut as much as I miss the Ponderosa and my family here, I wouldn\u2019t trade the life WE\u2019VE made together for a hundred thousand Ponderosas.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa threw her arms around his neck with gleeful abandon and kissed him passionately.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam returned his wife\u2019s kiss with equal fervor.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I love you, Teresa di Cordova Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

They remained in each other\u2019s embrace for a time, silently watching the sunrise, enjoying the view and each other\u2019s company.<\/p>\n

At length, Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d better be getting back to the house,\u201d he said reluctantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe have a big day ahead of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam . . . not just yet,\u201d Teresa protested, as she unfastened the top button of his shirt, and moved down to the next.<\/p>\n

Adam gently captured Teresa\u2019s hands, effectively stilling her wandering fingers, at least for the moment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSweetheart, I, uhhh . . . I don\u2019t think this is quite the, uhhh . . . proper time?\u201d he murmured softly, inwardly chagrined at how weak and feeble his protestations sounded in his own ears.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and why not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if Pa . . . Hoss . . . Joe . . . or Stacy, heaven forbid . . . happen along?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brothers, My Love, are the least of our worries,\u201d Teresa purred softly, as he raised her right hand to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on its palm.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou told me yourself that Joe doesn\u2019t even open his eyes before eight o\u2019clock, and that Hoss wouldn\u2019t, in the normal course of things, even dream of leaving the house without getting a good breakfast in him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue,\u201d Adam admitted.\u00a0\u00a0 He kissed her left palm, then brought both of her hands together within the gentle confines of his own.\u00a0 \u201c . . . that still leaves Pa and Stacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Stacy is very much aware of, ummm . . . shall we say the facts of life? . . . by THIS time,\u201d Teresa said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf your father hasn\u2019t told her himself, he\u2019s seen to it that she\u2019s been given information from a reliably accurate source, and there is the fact of living on a ranch with cattle, horses, and an assortment of other animals.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOhhh, I think he, of all people, would understand,\u201d Teresa replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLast time I was here he let it be known that he and Marie . . . .\u00a0 Well, to put it delicately, your brother, Joe, was more than likely conceived right here on this very spot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa actually TOLD you that?!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam looked thoroughly scandalized.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot in so many words, of course,\u201d Teresa said, \u201cbut, I could read it easily enough between the lines.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt IS early yet,\u201d Adam said thoughtfully.\u00a0\u00a0 He gave his wife\u2019s hands a gentle squeeze, then released them.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it is,\u201d Teresa said with a bold, lusty smile, as she returned to the delightful task of unfastening the buttons on his shirt.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re probably ALL sound asleep, and besides!\u00a0\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you tell me we\u2019re about three miles from the house?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCloser to two and a half actually . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam reached out and removed the barrette, securing his wife\u2019s hair at the nape of her neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s far enough . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, back at the house, Joe had spent the better part of the last hour giving Stacy lessons in the art of fencing.\u00a0\u00a0 Neither had as yet gotten dressed.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe wore a light green and white striped nightshirt that reached mid-calf and a pair of thick cotton socks.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy wore a pair of white and blue striped pajama pants and an oversized light blue shirt.\u00a0\u00a0 Their weapons were the matched pair of rapiers that had belonged to the family of Joe\u2019s mother, Marie. [ii]<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it, Little Sister . . . parry . . . parry . . . block, parry!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy flawlessly executed each move against an invisible adversary.<\/p>\n

\u201cLunge and thrust!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDie, thou Foul Varlet!\u201d Stacy cried as she lunged and skewered her imaginary opponent.<\/p>\n

\u201cKid, you\u2019re a natural,\u201d Joe declared with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow how would you like to put your new found skills to use?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure!\u201d Stacy said eagerly, taking careful note of the devilish gleam in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Joe noiselessly bounded up the stairs two at a time until he reached the first landing.\u00a0\u00a0 There, he seized hold of the Indian blanket draped over the banister and flung it around himself with a dramatic flourish.\u00a0\u00a0 With the fluid grace of a well-trained athlete, he vaulted over the banister, and, like a cat, landed silently on his feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI challenge you to a duel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh how delightful!\u201d Stacy exclaimed with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 She deftly removed Adam\u2019s black hat from its hook next to the front door.\u00a0\u00a0 She shoved the hat on her head and bounded up the steps two and three at a time, with rapier in hand.\u00a0\u00a0 When she returned a scant minute later, she wore Ben\u2019s deep maroon, almost black, robe like a cape, with the sleeves tied loosely about her neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am El Lobo, the meanest, most feared bandito south of the Rio Gran-de,\u201d Joe declared, rolling the r\u2019s in the last two words with a melodramatic flourish.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I am the Fox,\u201d Stacy returned.\u00a0\u00a0 She vaulted over the banister at the first landing, paused briefly to salute the photograph of Cousin Will Cartwright sitting on the end table, then turned to face her brother.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEn garde.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their thrusts, parries, and blocks took them on a path through the living room.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy easily trapped him between herself and one end of the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0 She lunged.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe scrambled up onto the arm of the sofa in the same instant.\u00a0\u00a0 He, then, turned, and fled across the cushions.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou foul cheater!\u00a0\u00a0 Come back here!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy circled around behind the sofa intending to cut off his escape path.<\/p>\n

Laboring to stifle the onset of the giggles, Joe leapt from the sofa to the coffee table, sliding across its polished surface in his stocking feet.\u00a0\u00a0 Papers, books, brandy snifter, and humidor went flying in all directions.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy clamored over the back of the sofa and across the coffee table in hot pursuit.\u00a0\u00a0 In the dining room, Joe turned to face his sister.\u00a0\u00a0 They clashed steel with steel, giggling uproariously, until Stacy backed into one of the chairs, knocking it over.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

The sound of wood chair striking wood floor roused Ben from a lovely dream about Parisian can-can dancers.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSomeone\u2019s gonna pay dearly for this,\u201d he muttered to himself.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned over, fully intending to go back to sleep, perchance to resume dream until he heard a second crash, followed immediately by a third.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat in tarnation is going on downstairs?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 With an exasperated sigh, he threw the covers aside.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0 Where\u2019s my robe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the duel had taken \u201cEl Lobo\u201d and \u201cThe Fox\u201d toward the area occupied by Ben\u2019s desk and the stacked shelves filled with books.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe, with a feral grin on his face, slowly and relentlessly backed Stacy toward the desk with the intention of trapping her between it and himself.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy played into his hands, until she had come within three feet of the desk.\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly, she pivoted and ran, seeking refuge on the other side of the desk.\u00a0\u00a0 The quick, sudden moves sent her wildly careening into the grandfather clock next to the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow who\u2019s cheatin\u2019?\u201d Joe cried, as he gave chase.<\/p>\n

Once the desk loomed between her and her high-spirited brother, Stacy jumped into the desk chair, which, unbeknownst to her was mounted on casters.\u00a0\u00a0 The chair moved under the momentum of her body, sending her careening toward the bookshelves behind the desk.\u00a0\u00a0 A split second before collision, Stacy, with sword firmly gripped in hand half-jumped half-fell out of the chair, landing in an ungainly sprawl on the wood floor beyond.\u00a0\u00a0 The chair struck the bookshelves hard, at the precise right angle, bringing all of the books crashing to the floor.<\/p>\n

Giggling uproariously, Joe leapt over the piles of books and chased Stacy back into the living room, easily trapping her against one of the living room chairs.\u00a0\u00a0 The latter jumped backwards onto the cushion and climbed up on to the back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have you now, Fox,\u201d Joe licked his lips already savoring the fruits of victory.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are sadly mistaken, El Lobo,\u201d Stacy crowed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt is I<\/strong> who have YOU.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She crouched to make a flying leap.\u00a0\u00a0 The shift of weight displaced the chair and sent it falling backward.<\/p>\n

\u201cSTACY!\u201d Joe cried, his eyes round with shocked horror.\u00a0\u00a0 He ran to the other side, intending to catch her.\u00a0 En\u00a0 route, his foot caught the edge of a throw rug, sending him catapulting through the air, arse overhead.\u00a0\u00a0 Both screamed in unison, as the chair on which Stacy stood hit the floor with a loud bang.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy landed on top of Joe.<\/p>\n

Brother and sister glared at each other for a long moment before helplessly dissolving into a fit of giggles.<\/p>\n

The sound of a slamming door upstairs, followed by heavy footfalls, sobered both of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh!\u201d Stacy gulped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat sounds like Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re dead,\u201d Joe said, before the pair dissolved into another fit of infectious giggling.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben descended to the first landing, clad in white cotton pajamas sans robe, and stopped to survey the scene below him.\u00a0\u00a0 The desk chair lay on its side, half buried under a mound of books and bookshelves.\u00a0\u00a0 In the living room area, papers, books, and cigars littered the floor under and around the coffee table.\u00a0\u00a0 The brandy snifter lay on its side, its amber contents spreading across the coffee table, soaking into some of the loose papers.\u00a0\u00a0 In the dining room, three chairs lay on their backs, as did the maroon armchair in the living room.\u00a0\u00a0 Next to the maroon chair, he spotted his younger children, lying on the floor laughing their heads off.\u00a0\u00a0 For one brief insane moment, Ben wavered between joining the laughter and thrashing the pair within inches of their lives.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT . . . . \u201d<\/strong> Ben started to bellow, then remembered the possibility of others sleeping upstairs.\u00a0\u00a0 It took every ounce of will he possessed to lower his voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat in thunderation is going on down here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cM-m-mornin\u2019, Pa,\u201d Joe giggled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was just teaching Stacy how to fence.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry . . . we got a little carried away,\u201d Stacy giggled.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe pair of you should be,\u201d Ben remarked wryly, \u201cby someone with a big butterfly net.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He deftly helped his hopelessly mirthful son and daughter to their feet, gaping in open astonishment at their make shift costumes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the ever lovin\u2019 world are the pair of you dressed up for?\u00a0\u00a0 A Halloween party?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I am El Lobo,\u201d Joe said, laboring vigorously to keep a straight face, \u201cthe meanest RINGO bandito south of the Rio Grande.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRingo?!\u201d Ben echoed.\u00a0\u00a0 A bewildered frown creased his brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think h-he m-meant GRINGO bandito s-s-south of the Rio Grande, Pa,\u201d Stacy said, succumbing to a fresh round of the giggles.<\/p>\n

At that moment, Adam and Teresa walked hand in hand through the front door, smiling with an almost smug contentment.\u00a0\u00a0 Their hair was mussed, and Adam\u2019s shirt was half tucked in with three buttons missing.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Adam . . . Teresa,\u201d Joe greeted them with a sly grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you know your hair is tangled with pine needles?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to fake it,\u201d Teresa said smoothly, without missing a beat.<\/p>\n

Joe and Stacy collapsed in unison onto the sofa in a fit incapacitating laughter.<\/p>\n

Ben tried his best to maintain some shred of dignity.\u00a0\u00a0 He pulled himself up to full height and glared down at his two younger children.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yeah, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I have my robe back please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Still laughing, Stacy rose unsteadily to her feet.\u00a0\u00a0 She untied the sleeves and removed her make shift cape with a dramatic flourish.\u00a0\u00a0 The sudden body movements caused her to lose her balance.\u00a0\u00a0 She collapsed back down onto the sofa, with tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks.<\/p>\n

Adam quietly surveyed the scene, taking due noting of the rapiers in the hands of his youngest brother and only sister.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, Pa,\u201d he said, grinning broadly, \u201cit looks like that old adage is true after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned his back on his family to mask his growing struggle not to laugh.\u00a0\u00a0 SOMEONE had to be the grown-up, and maintain some degree of discipline amid the surrounding chaos.\u00a0\u00a0 As clan patriarch, it appeared that duty fell to him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c . . . and what old adage is that?\u201d Ben asked, as he slipped on his robe and tied the sash.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe more things change, the more they stay the same,\u201d Adam said with a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow I truly feel like I\u2019ve come home again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Ben said, succumbing at last to the heady contagion of laughter, in spite of his best intentions.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d better get this place clean before Hop Sing wakes up, if we know what\u2019s good for us.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Hoss smiled contentedly as the sun shining through his bedroom window gently warmed his face, rousing him from the depths of sleep.\u00a0\u00a0 He slowly eased himself from a prone to a sitting position, and stretched luxuriously.\u00a0\u00a0 Downstairs, the grandfather clock struck the hour of seven.<\/p>\n

” \u00a0. . . nope, eight o\u2019clock,\u201d Hoss mused, reaching for the robe stretched across the foot of his bed.\u00a0\u00a0 He frowned as the clock struck nine, ten, and eleven times.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDadburn it, I\u2019ve overslept and missed breakfast.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0He quickly slipped his robe on over his nightshirt, and tied the sash.\u00a0\u00a0 The clock struck twelve as he crossed the room, making a beeline for the closed door, followed by thirteen.<\/p>\n

Hoss froze mid-stride, his hand on the doorknob.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThirteen?\u201d<\/p>\n

The clock struck fourteen, then fifteen, followed by an odd clanking sound.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss quickly stepped into the hall, pausing briefly to close the bedroom door behind him.\u00a0 At the top landing, Hoss froze as his eyes took in the state of chaos on the first floor.\u00a0\u00a0 An easy chair lay on its back, as did three of the chairs in the dining room area.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben and Adam worked furiously gathering together the former\u2019s books, spread over a wide debris field stretching from the study to the living room area.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa was busy sopping up the spilled brandy from the top of the coffee table, while Stacy gathered the sodden papers and carried them outside to dry.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked up and smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood morning, Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 Come on down and give us a hand.\u00a0\u00a0 I want this place ship shape by the time Hop Sing wakes up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Hoss asked, as he made his way down the stairs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe place looks like a dadburn tornado hit it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe place was hit by TWO dadburn tornados, Big Brother,\u201d Adam said sardonically.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTheir names are Joe and Stacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked Joe to teach me a little about fencing,\u201d Stacy said sheepishly.<\/p>\n

Hoss rolled his eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDadburn it, Li\u2019l Sister, the NEXT time ya take it in your head to ask Li\u2019l Joe t\u2019 teach ya somethin\u2019, ask him to teach ya OUTSIDE.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn excellent suggestion,\u201d Ben agreed wryly.\u00a0\u00a0 He paused, just long enough to glance over the sea of faces.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSpeaking of Joseph, where is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Smiling, Teresa put her finger to her lips and pointed at the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam, Hoss, Ben, and Stacy moved in for a closer look.\u00a0\u00a0 There, on the sofa lay Joe Cartwright, snoozing in blissful oblivion to the flurry of activity happening around him on all sides.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss exchanged glances and nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 The former took Joe\u2019s feet and the latter his head and shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 Together they lifted their slumbering baby brother, taking great care not to wake him, and started toward the front door.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy immediately ran over and opened the door.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss and Adam nodded their thanks as they carried Joe over the threshold and out of the house.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben, Stacy, and Teresa followed.\u00a0\u00a0 The two elder Cartwright brothers carried the still somnolent baby boy of the family over to the water trough and tossed him in.<\/p>\n

Joe surfaced coughing and sputtering.<\/p>\n

\u201cTime to wakey, wakey, Baby Brother!\u201d Adam said with an evil grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhaddya tryin\u2019 to do?\u201d Joe demanded, outraged.\u00a0 \u201cDrown me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow don\u2019t you go puttin\u2019 temptin\u2019 thoughts like that in my head, Li\u2019l Brother,\u201d Hoss cautioned, favoring Joe with a dark, angry glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I <\/strong>do?\u201d Joe asked, looking from Adam and Hoss, over to his father, sister, and sister-in-law.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t do a blessed thing,\u201d Adam replied with a complacent smile.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMICK!\u00a0\u00a0 MICK!\u00a0\u00a0 WE GOT OURSELVES A PROBLEM!\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn looked up and saw his young partner and prot\u00e9g\u00e9e, Barney Murphy, running up the street frantically waving his hands.\u00a0\u00a0 Mick was a short, thin and wiry elderly man, exact age indeterminate, with thinning, gray almost white hair, and alert, all-seeing dark brown eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 He walked with a pronounced limp, due in part to the severe arthritis in virtually every joint in his body.\u00a0\u00a0 He always wore the same black pair of pants and black jacket, both of which were threadbare at the knees and elbows.\u00a0\u00a0 Today, he had on a clean, though wrinkled, cream colored long sleeved shirt.<\/p>\n

O\u2019Flynn stopped to allow the younger man to catch up.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Barney?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI caught Sheriff Coffee nosin\u2019 out where . . . . \u201d Barney lowered his voice, \u201cyou know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick scowled.\u00a0\u00a0 This was the fourth time this week either he or Barney had spotted Roy Coffee out snooping around dangerously near the spot where they had Matilda, their new still, hidden.\u00a0\u00a0 The sheriff had his suspicions, no denying that now.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBarney, did Sheriff Coffee see you?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Barney shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think so, Mister O\u2019Flynn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a relief,\u201d Mick slowly let out the breath he had been holding.\u00a0\u00a0 He now had two enormous problems facing him square in the face, however.\u00a0\u00a0 The second problem was moving his beloved Matilda, under the eagle eye of Sheriff Roy Coffee.\u00a0\u00a0 The first, and most pressing, was finding another place to move her.<\/p>\n

This could not have happened at a worse time.\u00a0\u00a0 The reception following the Wedding of the Century was to be held in the basement room of the church.\u00a0\u00a0 The Ladies\u2019 Guild, under the leadership of Myra Danvers had absolutely forbidden the serving of alcoholic beverages within the church building and on church grounds.\u00a0\u00a0 Most of the men of Virginia City, along with a fair number if its women, had placed their orders with him, so that they might smuggle in their own bottles.\u00a0\u00a0 To date, Mick O\u2019Flynn had only filled one-third of the pending orders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s the good sheriff now, Barney?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn his office,\u201d Barney replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Mick said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow I want you to keep an eye on \u2018im, but for heaven\u2019s sake, BE DISCREET.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Mister O\u2019Flynn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow be off with y\u2019, Lad.\u00a0\u00a0 I have some work to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Hoss leaned against the corral fence watching Stacy putting Sun Dancer through his paces.\u00a0\u00a0 From the moment she connected with the saddle, her spirit and that of the magnificent golden palomino stallion seemed to merge, and from that merging flowed together as one.\u00a0\u00a0 Not a word of command was spoken, yet Sun Dancer moved from a walk, to a trot, to a cantor, and a full gallop, and back again as easily, and seamlessly as a concert pianist moves his fingers up and down the length of black and white keys, practicing basic scales.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could stand here all day and watch those two,\u201d Candy said as he stepped up to the fence next to Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know whatcha mean,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour pa decided yet what he\u2019s gonna do with Sun Dancer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe ain\u2019t f\u2019r sale, that\u2019s for dadburn sure,\u201d Hoss replied with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe all agreed on THAT pretty early on.\u00a0\u00a0 Other \u2018n that, he\u2019s a good saddle horse, if \u2018n the rider\u2019s able to handle him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Mister Cartwright\u2019ll want to try breeding him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded and grinned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think Pa decided that pretty early on, too.\u00a0\u00a0 Li\u2019l Sister wants t\u2019 ride him in the Virginia City Race comin\u2019 up in September.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Candy looked over at Hoss, mildly surprised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat did your father say about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019, \u2018cause we ain\u2019t mentioned it to him yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t mentioned WHAT to him yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss turned and found himself standing face to face with his father.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy\u2019s friend, Molly O\u2019Hanlan, smiled and nodded as she stepped up to the corral fence on the other side of Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, Pa, it\u2019s nothing\u2019 important . . . . \u201d he hedged.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

He flinched away from the stern glare on Ben\u2019s face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy \u2018n I wanted to wait f\u2019r a better time, like maybe when this Weddin\u2019 of the Century\u2019s done \u2018n over . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cStacy just happened to kinda mention that she, uuhhh . . . she wants t\u2019 ride Sun Dancer in, uuhhh . . . the Virginia City Race comin\u2019 up?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you haven\u2019t told her she could!\u201d Ben said, leveling a ferocious scowl in Hoss\u2019 general direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019d NEVER tell her she could do something like that, without checkin\u2019 with YOU first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood!\u00a0\u00a0 Because I\u2019m not so sure I want my daughter . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot even if she \u2018n Sun Dancer are practically shoe ins t\u2019 win that race?\u201d<\/p>\n

This drew a sharp glare from his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe . . . Candy, here, an\u2019 me . . . paced the pair of \u2018em out on the road a couple o\u2019 weeks ago,\u201d Hoss continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSun Dancer beat our Bonnie Prince Charlie by a mile, without even workin\u2019 up much of a sweat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree times outta THREE, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGranted, I allow the girl a lot of leeway, but I have to draw the line some—\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben stopped abruptly, and looked from Hoss over to Candy, then back once more to Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDid you fellas say THREE out of three?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe sure did, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSun Dancer left Bonnie Prince Charlie eating his dust,\u201d Candy added.<\/p>\n

\u201cBonnie Prince Charlie, of course is almost as fast as Blake Wilson\u2019s General Ulysses,\u201d Ben mulled the matter over thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Sir . . . ALMOST,\u201d Candy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost is the reason you been comin\u2019 in second to Blake Wilson\u2019s FIRST f\u2019r the last three years in a row,\u201d Hoss added meaningfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut . . . if Sun Dancer can beat Bonnie Prince Charlie, then he could probably, very easily beat . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUmm hmmmm!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss and Candy chorused and nodded their heads in unison.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben vigorously shook his head, as if trying to physically dislodge all the lovely errant thoughts suddenly taking up residence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLetting Stacy rope cattle and train horses here on the Ponderosa is one thing, but . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut?\u201d Hoss prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlake and General Ulysses HAVE won the Virginia City Race for the past three years in a row, haven\u2019t they?\u201d Ben queried, his thoughts churning a mile a minute.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey sure have, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and . . . in all fairness, of course . . . I suppose it\u2019s . . . well, it\u2019s . . . about time someone ELSE had a turn . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . in all fairness,\u201d Candy agreed, grinning from ear-to-ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I COULD have JOSEPH ride Sun Dancer . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . I s\u2019pose you could at that,\u201d Hoss reluctantly agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, STACY\u2019S the one who\u2019s been workin\u2019 with him the most, an\u2019 workin\u2019 HARD as all get out, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and not only that, Mister Cartwright, but Stacy\u2019s gotta be a good twenty-five . . . maybe even thirty pounds lighter,\u201d Candy pressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all very true,\u201d Ben had to admit.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet me think about it . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Molly O\u2019Hanlan spoke up for the first time.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Molly?\u201d Ben responded contritely.\u00a0\u00a0 In the course of the conversation with Hoss and Candy, he had forgotten she was even there.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really going to let Stacy race Sun Dancer in the Virginia City Race?\u201d she queried, her eyes shining with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m THINKING about it, Molly,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s NOT the same as making a decision . . . and it\u2019s still a far cry from saying yes.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He punctuated this last with a hard meaningful glance at Candy and Hoss, as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure hope you let her enter that race, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly declared stoutly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI KNOW Stacy and Sun Dancer\u2019ll beat the pants off of any and all contenders.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, all right!\u201d he acquiesced.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve convinced me!\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy CAN ride Sun Dancer in the Virginia City Race.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Sun Dancer,\u201d Stacy said, drawing up along side the fence where her brother, Hoss, Candy, and best friend Molly, whooped it up, yelling at the tops of their lungs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey, Pa, what\u2019s all the excitement about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead, Pa . . . I think YOU oughtta be the one to tell her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve just decided that you can ride Sun Dancer in the Virginia City Race this year,\u201d Ben said, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa, really?!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy\u2019s smile seemed to light up her entire face, as she quickly dismounted and tethered Sun Dancer to the fence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cReally and TRULY?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, really and truly!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy stepped up onto one of the lower slats of the corral fence, bringing her eye-to-eye with Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re the best pa in the whole wide world!\u201d she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big affectionate bear hug.<\/p>\n

Ben slipped his arms around her and returned that hug with equal exuberance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hope that\u2019s not just because I\u2019m letting you ride in that race,\u201d he said, half teasing.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt IS, partly,\u201d Stacy admitted, \u201cbut it\u2019s mostly because it\u2019s true.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She hugged him again, then jumped down off the corral fence.\u00a0\u00a0 The instant her feet made contact with the ground, Sun Dancer gently nudged her arm, then pointedly lowered his muzzle toward the pocket where she kept the treats.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy?!\u201d Molly watched Sun Dancer with a bemused expression on her face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the world is he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s just reminding me that he\u2019s had a good, long, hard workout this morning,\u201d Stacy said, as she dug her hand into the bottom right hand pocket of the light jacket she wore, \u201cand he expects to be properly rewarded.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She extracted a generous handful of treats and offered them to the golden palomino.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou did good, Sun Dancer, you did REAL good!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019s one smart horse!\u201d Molly exclaimed in awe.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe sure is,\u201d Ben agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn fact, I\u2019m surprised Sun Dancer\u2019s not the one training Hoss, Stacy, and Candy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cF\u2019r all WE know, he just may be, Pa,\u201d Hoss said with a chuckle.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, everything alright?\u201d Stacy asked, noting the troubled expression on her friend\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes . . . NO!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Molly sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re never going to guess who came to see my sister last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t . . . Apollo Nikolas by any chance . . . w-was it?\u201d Hoss queried looking ill.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it was!\u201d Molly exclaimed, looking over at Hoss in mild surprise.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow did you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust kinda took a wild guess.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He felt grateful beyond measure that his baby brother wasn\u2019t present.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Stacy asked, as she absently stroked Sun Dancer on the side of his neck.<\/p>\n

Molly took a deep breath and told the Cartwrights all that had transpired the evening before, blushing at the memory of Apollo dancing around with her in his arms.<\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss, Stacy, even Candy laughed out loud, as they envisioned the very prim and proper Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan breaking up a potential fist fight by brandishing a broom.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and . . . and in front of the like of Myra Danvers and . . . H-Hannah Adams, of all people,\u201d Ben murmured, as he wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cS-sorry, Molly,\u201d Stacy apologized.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know it\u2019s NOT funny . . . yet it IS.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess the thought of Ma running out into the street brandishing that broom like the Irish warrior queen, Maeve, IS kind of funny,\u201d Molly admitted with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure wish I couldda seen the look on Widow Danvers\u2019 face,\u201d Hoss chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, too!\u201d Candy voiced his own wholehearted agreement with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy!\u00a0\u00a0 It probably looked something like this,\u201d Stacy rendered a grotesquely comic impersonation of Mrs. Danvers\u2019 outraged face.<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yes . . . . \u201d Molly laughed uproariously.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s it . . . that\u2019s it exactly!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 oughtta h-have . . . m-more respect far your elders, Li\u2019l Sister,\u201d Hoss said, as he, Ben, and Candy laughed along with Molly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow y-you\u2019re starting to sound like . . . like Grandpa, Hoss,\u201d Stacy also joined in the laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it!\u201d Hoss growled with mock severity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere do you get off insultin\u2019 me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not meant to be an insult, Big Brother, only a warning to mend your ways NOW . . . while you still have a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut . . . surely Apollo Nikolas wasn\u2019t thinking he was going to pick up with Colleen where he\u2019d left off,\u201d Ben said, sobering.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s been nearly ten years!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he WAS thinking that, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly said, \u201cand from the sound of things, he\u2019s going to go right on thinking that until Colleen sets him straight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe that,\u201d Ben said shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo\u2019s gotta good head on his shoulders, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cbut there\u2019s some things he just ain\u2019t smart about at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy!\u00a0\u00a0 Looks like ol\u2019 Grandpa was right when he said Apollo Nikolas\u2019 arrival was going to make things very interesting,\u201d Stacy said shaking her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf!\u00a0 Apollo Nikolas\u2019 arrival last night made things a little too interesting to suit me,\u201d Molly declared indignantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf COLLEEN doesn\u2019t set him straight soon, so help me . . . I<\/strong> will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Colleen will, Molly,\u201d Ben hastened to reassure her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn the meantime, would you like to join us for dinner?\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ll be eating within the next hour of so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Molly looked very uncertain.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou DO have company . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry none \u2018bout that, Molly,\u201d Hoss said with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s still plenty o\u2019 room for an extra plate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, I WILL stay,\u201d Molly said.\u00a0\u00a0 She turned to Ben and smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you for inviting me, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy pleasure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, why don\u2019t you g\u2019won back to the house with Pa and Molly?\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCandy and I can look after Sun Dancer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Big Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI also have a fitting appointment with Madame Darnier this afternoon,\u201d Molly said, as she, Stacy, and Ben walked from the corral toward the house.\u00a0 \u201cMaid of honor dress for the wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a final fitting appointment with Madame Darnier this afternoon, too,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou?!\u201d Molly stared at her best friend with open skepticism.<\/p>\n

Stacy rolled her eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, me,\u201d she sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFor some reason Pa here doesn\u2019t think my boots and britches are appropriate for me to wear to a wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Ben agreed wholeheartedly, then smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was also looking for an excuse to force your brother into that monkey suit of his.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should\u2019ve told me, Pa,\u201d Stacy teased, linking her arm through his.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI would\u2019ve approached this whole thing with a lot more enthusiasm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich suit is the monkey suit?\u201d Molly asked, with an inquisitive smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe blue one,\u201d Ben and Stacy said in unison.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe blue one?\u201d Molly echoed, with a puzzled frown.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, I think Joe looks . . . . \u201d Molly blushed, clear down to the roots of her hair, \u201c . . . well let\u2019s just say he looks awfully darned handsome in that suit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, puh-leese . . . do Pa, Hoss, Hop Sing, and me a favor and don\u2019t EVER tell him you said that,\u201d Stacy begged.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy NOT?\u201d Molly asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor one thing, Molly . . . I don\u2019t think they make hats that big,\u201d Hoss quipped with an impish grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn any case, Molly, the entire family\u2019s going to be there for Stacy\u2019s fitting,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou can ride back to town with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly\u2019s jaw dropped.\u00a0\u00a0 She looked over at Ben through eyes round as saucers, then back to Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll of you?\u201d she squeaked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep!\u201d Stacy confirmed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLike Candy said yesterday, they\u2019re all going to be there with bells on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cC-Candy\u2019s going to be there, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa said the entire family,\u201d Stacy said, smiling at her friend\u2019s astonishment.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Molly shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy pa and brother say they wouldn\u2019t be caught dead in a place like Madame Darnier\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, we Cartwright men happen to take a very keen interest in our Cartwright woman\u2019s choice of wardrobe,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey sure do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The tone of her voice and impish twinkle in her eyes drew a warning glare from her father.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe feel it\u2019s our duty and responsibility,\u201d Ben continued in a solemn tone of voice, \u201cin a loving, supportive way, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Mister Cartwright, I think that\u2019s wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy Rose Cartwright, not one word,\u201d Ben warned sotto voce, upon seeing his daughter smile and roll her eyes.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cOohh, Mick . . . I dunno!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d the grizzled, elderly man pressed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the last place anyone\u2019d even THINK t\u2019 look for a still!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI STILL dunno.\u00a0\u00a0 Whut iffen t\u2019 reverend . . . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMacon Fitzhugh, y\u2019 just got through tellin\u2019 me t\u2019 good reverend never goes down there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUsually, he don\u2019t,\u201d Macon whined.\u00a0\u00a0 He was a tall man, with slightly stooped posture, thin arms and legs and a pronounced paunch at the waistline.\u00a0\u00a0 His late wife, God rest her soul, and oldest sister derisively referred to it as his \u2018beer belly.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0 The slight downward sweep of his bushy, iron gray eyebrows, the round, staring pale blue eyes, the very set of the planes of his face, and the deeply etched lines in his forehead and around his mouth marked him as a chronic worrier.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then,\u201d Mick said, grinning from ear-to-ear.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Weddin\u2019 reception\u2019s gonna be held down there,\u201d Macon fretted, wringing his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t y\u2019 tell me yourself that the church is puttin\u2019 in a woodstove?\u201d Mick pressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, but . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, then.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Mick\u2019s grin broadened into a bright, sunny smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf t\u2019 good reverend asks questions, we\u2019ll tell \u2018im it\u2019s the woodstove.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno, Mick, I just . . . dunno,\u201d Macon groaned, wagging his head back and forth.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt seems kinda sacrilegious somehow . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMacon, y\u2019 oughtta be ashamed o\u2019 yourself,\u201d Mick chided him severely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow can y\u2019 possibly look me in t\u2019 eye an\u2019 call yourself a deacon and caretaker o\u2019 the church, when you\u2019re so ignorant o\u2019 the Holy Scriptures?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHunh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t Jesus turned the water into fine wine at the weddin\u2019 o\u2019 Cana?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 don\u2019t the Holy Gospels themselves talk of Jesus blessin\u2019 the bread AND T\u2019 WINE at t\u2019 Last Supper?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . yeah . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, then!\u00a0\u00a0 Seein\u2019 as t\u2019 how Our Lord Himself indulged in strong spirits, then tell me this . . . if y\u2019 can; how can a still in t\u2019 church basement be sacrilegious?\u201d<\/p>\n

Macon opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it shut, unable to think of anything to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cMacon, it\u2019ll only be \u2018til after The Weddin\u2019,\u201d Mick said, savoring his impending victory.\u00a0\u00a0 It was all he could do to keep from rubbing his hands together in gleeful anticipation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBy then t\u2019 heat will\u2019ve died down, an\u2019 I\u2019ll be able t\u2019 safely move m\u2019 Sweet Matilda elsewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, ok, those few days can\u2019t hurt none, I s\u2019pose,\u201d Macon agreed very reluctantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrand!\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s just grand!,\u201d Mick replied with a smug grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMeet me tonight at the Silver Dollar at eight sharp, with the church key.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, reigning matriarch of the O\u2019Hanlan Clan, relentlessly paced, back and forth to and fro, before the parlor fireplace.\u00a0\u00a0 For the past nine years, she had suffered humiliation piled upon humiliation each time Colleen and Matt got themselves engaged, called it off, got themselves engaged again, only to repeat the vicious cycle over and over and over, ad nauseum.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis, you\u2019ve GOT to speak to YOUR DAUGHTER,\u201d she had lamented the last time Colleen had broken off her engagement to Matt.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve simply got to!\u00a0\u00a0 Lord Above knows she WON\u2019T listen to ME!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it THIS time?\u201d her husband queried with that long suffering sigh, and accompanying roll of his eyes, guaranteed to set even the most patient of saints and martyrs\u2019 teeth on edge.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHELLFIRE AND DAMNATION!\u201d she screeched, \u201cMAYBE YOU <\/strong>DON\u2019T GIVE A BLOODY TINKER\u2019S DAMN ABOUT YOUR FAMILY\u2019S REPUTATION, ALL THE WORSE FOR YOU; BUT I<\/strong> DO!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Francis muttered something under his breath, something she didn\u2019t quite hear, then raised the newspaper in hand up to cover his face, with a very pointed rustle.<\/em><\/p>\n

She had crossed the entire length of the parlor in three giant strides, borne along by her rising fury.\u00a0\u00a0 With a swift, powerful swipe of her arm, she snatched the newspaper from her startled husband\u2019s hands and threw it down on the floor. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Francis leapt to his feet, his eyes blazing with fury.\u00a0 \u201cDAMMIT, WOMAN . . . WHAT\u2019S THIS WORLD COMIN\u2019 TO WHEN A MAN CAN\u2019T HAVE ENOUGH OF A MOMENT\u2019S PEACE IN THE EVENING T\u2019 SIT DOWN AND READ THE PAPER!?\u201d he demanded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHALF AN HOUR!\u00a0\u00a0 HALF AN HOUR, MYRNA . . . IS THAT REALLY<\/strong> SO MUCH TO ASK?!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cONCE!\u201d she snapped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJUST ONCE I\u2019D LIKE TO BA ABLE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT HAVING TO BEAR WITH ALL THE SMILES, THE SIMPERING, THE PITYING LOOKS I\u2019VE HAD TO ENDURE FROM EVERYONE I CHANCE TO PASS!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI just know I\u2019m gonna hate myself for askin\u2019 but WHY are you havin\u2019 to bear with all the smiles, the simpering, the pitying looks from everyone you chance to pass by on the street?\u201d Francis wearily demanded.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause our family has become the absolute laughing stock of everyone in Virginia City,\u201d she replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFor eight years, Francis . . . for eight . . . very long . . . very humiliating . . . YEARS!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWho says so?!\u00a0\u00a0 Mrs. Adams and Mrs. Danvers??\u201d Francis growled as he circled the room, snatching the pages of his newspaper up off the floor, one by one.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUhhh . . . I should\u2019ve KNOWN!\u201d he exclaimed when she didn\u2019t immediately reply.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cONCE!\u00a0\u00a0 JUST ONCE . . . I WISH THOSE TWO HARPIES WOULD MIND THEIR OWN BLOODY DAMNED BUSINESS AND LET THE REST OF US GO ABOUT OUR OWN . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMyrna!\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan snapped, drawing his wife from her angry musings.\u00a0\u00a0 He snapped the book in hand shut with a curt, audible sigh of exasperation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWould you PLEASE stop that infernal pacing?!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna wear a trench in that Persian rug you sent all the way to London for!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis Sean O\u2019Hanlan, if you were the kind o\u2019 father you ought to be, I\u2019d have no need to be pacing a trench in my Persian rug,\u201d Myrna cried in outrage.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen would\u2019ve been happily married a long time ago, if not to Matt Wilson, then to some other fine gentlemen, instead o\u2019 goin\u2019 through this . . . this . . . this nonsensical folderol with Matt for the last eight goin\u2019 on NINE years . . . Frankie wouldn\u2019t be castin\u2019 calf eyes at that . . . that SALOON girl . . . . \u201d she grimaced, \u201cand Molly, bless her heart, would have friends among some of the decent, respectable young people, who live right here in town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy decent, respectable young people, who live right here in town, I take it y\u2019 really mean the likes of Millicent Adams and Pruella Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be a very fine start, certainly . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith friends like the two o\u2019 THEM, a body has no need of enemies,\u201d Francis acerbically observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019d be a sight lot better than that Cartwright girl!\u201d Myrna cried, indignant and outraged.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou listen to me, Woman, and you listen good!\u201d Francis said sternly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMolly couldn\u2019t ask for a better or more loyal friend than Stacy Cartwright.\u00a0\u00a0 Her friendship with Stacy and the rest of the Cartwrights, too, for that matter have been the making of that girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, they\u2019ve been the makin\u2019 of our daughter alright . . . from a sweet, demure young lady to a complete hoyden!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI<\/strong> was more thinkin\u2019 from a girl scared t\u2019 death of her own shadow to a young woman who can stand up on her own two feet,\u201d Francis argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mark my words those Cartwrights\u2019ll get our daughter and our son, too as much as HE\u2019S always hangin\u2019 around \u2018em, into big trouble one o\u2019 these days.\u00a0\u00a0 They will!\u00a0\u00a0 You just mark my words, Francis O\u2019Hanlan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Cartwrights are a fine, upstandin\u2019 family, Myrna.\u00a0\u00a0 Most folks in these parts hold \u2018em in very high regard.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll not hear another word against \u2018em,\u201d Francis said sternly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs for Frankie, he\u2019ll get over his puppy love for Miss Clarissa Starling, \u2018specially since SHE won\u2019t give \u2018im the time o\u2019 day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

“You heard me, Myrna!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo!\u00a0\u00a0 My son\u2019s not good enough for t\u2019 likes o\u2019 her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis rolled his eyes heavenward, begging the powers that be for patience and strength.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what of Colleen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen\u2019s got to make up her own mind,\u201d Francis said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhich it would seem she has!\u00a0\u00a0 The wedding\u2019s t\u2019 take place the day after tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAssuming that blackguard Apollo Nikolas doesn\u2019t put a wrench in things,\u201d Myrna said darkly.<\/p>\n

Francis frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought we made things clear to him last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOoohhh . . . we made things clear to him last night alright,\u201d Myrna said, in a blatantly sarcastic tone of voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo clear, he\u2019s been back around twice more today, demanding to see Colleen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere IS Colleen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUpstairs in her room,\u201d Myrna sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe STILL won\u2019t come out.\u00a0\u00a0 She refuses to see Apollo, of course, and she won\u2019t see Matt either.\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis rose, folded the newspaper in his hands, and placed it down on the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get to the bottom of this,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Francis, his jaw set in grim determination, resolutely climbed the stairs to the second floor.\u00a0\u00a0 He walked down the hall to the fast closed door to Colleen\u2019s room, and knocked.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo away!\u201d Colleen half yelled-half sobbed from within.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, it\u2019s your pa,\u201d Francis said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?!\u00a0\u00a0 Ma\u2019s not with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, YOU can come in,\u201d Colleen acquiesced.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan opened the door and stepped into his eldest daughter\u2019s room.\u00a0\u00a0 Still clad in nightgown and robe at this late hour, she sat on the bed, staring down at her hands clasped in her lap.\u00a0\u00a0 He could see by her face that she had recently been crying.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow, now, what\u2019s this?\u201d he queried gently, seating himself on the edge of her bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pa, I\u2019m not so sure I wanna g-go through with this,\u201d Colleen sobbed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo through with what?\u201d Francis asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe wedding,\u201d Colleen wailed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa, seeing Apollo again last night, I . . . well I\u2019m not so sure I really want to go through with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen, it\u2019s been nine . . . goin\u2019 on ten years now, since Apollo left Virginia City.\u00a0\u00a0 In all that time, how many times did you write him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I wrote him every day,\u201d Colleen sobbed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEvery s-s-single d-day for . . . f-for . . . for three whole months!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and how often did HE write YOU?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cH-He . . . he n-never did.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s why I . . . I st-stopped writing him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, then,\u201d Francis said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLass, for the life o\u2019 me . . . I don\u2019t know what Apollo\u2019s problem is.\u00a0\u00a0 As for you, well, you\u2019ve got a decent man who loves ya and wants to marry ya.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019s stuck by you with all the patience of a saint for the last nine years.\u00a0\u00a0 Nine YEARS, Colleen . . . nine LONG years.\u00a0\u00a0 But, a man\u2019ll only wait so long, even a patient soul like Matt.\u00a0\u00a0 One MORE cancellation could very well be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel\u2019s back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Pa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, you\u2019re probably just sufferin\u2019 the worst case of the jitters that ever hit a bride-t\u2019-be, about to be hitched,\u201d Francis explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cI s\u2019pose . . . . \u201d Colleen murmured softly, \u201cbut Pa . . . what if it isn\u2019t a case of the jitters?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it from me, Pumpkin, it is,\u201d Francis hastened to assure her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe next time Uncle Tim comes to visit, ask him how your ma was t\u2019 night before OUR weddin\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0 I know HE could tell ya stories that\u2019ll make your blood curdle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what you need to do, Colleen?\u00a0\u00a0 Get yourself out of here.\u00a0\u00a0 Do some shopping . . . or, better yet, why don\u2019t you rent one o\u2019 the nags from the Livery Stable and go for a ride?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA ride would be nice,\u201d Colleen said in a small voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly\u2019s gone with Ben Cartwright out to the Ponderosa t\u2019 see Stacy, but you might ask one o\u2019 your girl friends to go with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it might do me more good to be alone for a little while, Pa.\u00a0\u00a0 I could think things through, maybe work out all the jitters I\u2019m feelin\u2019 . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s m\u2019 girl,\u201d Francis said approvingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you do me a tremendously big favor, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you sneak me out past Ma?\u201d Colleen begged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI . . . I just can\u2019t cope with her right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis chuckled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI understand, Pumpkin, and I\u2019ll be more \u2018n happy t\u2019 run interference.\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen threw her arms around her father and hugged him tight for a moment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d she whispered impulsively kissing his cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnytime, Lass, any time,\u201d Francis said, giving her an affectionate squeeze in return.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, heading on the road south out of Virginia City, impulsively untied the scarf from around her head to allow the wind, generated by the forward movement of her horse, to blow through her hair.\u00a0\u00a0 She angrily banished all thoughts of Matt Wilson, Apollo Nikolas, her impending nuptials, and her over bearing mother from her mind that she might better savor the magnificent scenery surrounding her on all sides, and the solitude.<\/p>\n

Her destination was the large meadow along the south road, roughly half way between Virginia City and the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0 A brook ran through the meadow.\u00a0\u00a0 Near the edge of the brook, amid a copse of trees was a large rock.\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen O\u2019Hanlan had been coming to this spot since she was in grade school, whenever she needed to get away by herself.<\/p>\n

She reached her spot in record time, thanks to Mortimer, the large, sprightly gelding she had leased from the Livery Stable.\u00a0\u00a0 As she approached her special place, she frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 There was another horse, tethered outside the copse of trees.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello!\u201d Colleen called out, her rising anger and frustration apparent in her tone of voice.\u00a0\u00a0 The last thing she needed or wanted was to share this special place with another, especially today.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, I\u2019ve been waiting for you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Apollo Nikolas, stepping out from the copse of trees.<\/p>\n

Colleen stared down at him, her eyes round with horrified astonishment.\u00a0\u00a0 Her mouth moved, but no words or sound issued forth.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour ma wouldn\u2019t let me see you,\u201d Apollo said, by way of explanation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe wouldn\u2019t even tell you that I had stopped by.\u00a0\u00a0 I knew you\u2019d come here, sooner or later . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA-Apollo . . . \u201d she slowly recovered her voice, \u201cd-didn\u2019t Ma tell you . . . that I . . . that I\u2019m getting married to Matt Wilson . . . th-the day after tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo looked up at her, his face a mask of shock and horror.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen, no . . . that . . . that can\u2019t be!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo, what the bloody hell did you expect?!\u201d Colleen demanded angrily, with tears streaming down her face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI haven\u2019t heard a thing from you in nearly ten years!\u00a0\u00a0 TEN YEARS, Apollo!\u00a0\u00a0 No hello, goodbye, I love you, wish you were here, kiss m\u2019 arse . . . NOTHING!\u00a0\u00a0 What the hell did you expect me to do . . . take an oath of celibacy like a nun!?\u00a0\u00a0 For all I knew, you might\u2019ve been dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, I wrote you long letters almost everyday,\u201d Apollo protested, taken aback by her angry outburst.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you bother to MAIL any of them?\u201d she asked scathingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf COURSE I did!\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen looked down at him, openly skeptical.\u00a0\u00a0 Yes something in his face, his eyes, told her he was telling the truth.\u00a0\u00a0 She moved to dismount.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo, I . . . I wrote YOU every day, too . . . leastwise the first couple of months after you\u2019d left.\u00a0\u00a0 But after not hearing one word back from YOU, I . . . I stopped writing,\u201d she said, as he gallantly helped her down from her mount\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI DID write you, Colleen, I swear . . . on t\u2019 graves of BOTH my parents, I SWEAR.\u00a0\u00a0 The very last letter I wrote you was three months ago, when my ship put in to San Francisco to let you know that I was coming home for good,\u201d Apollo said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe you, Apollo,\u201d Colleen said quietly, wiping away her tears with the heel of her hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI just don\u2019t understand . . . what could have happened to all those letters . . . yours AND mine?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo\u2019s mouth hardened onto a thin angry line.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYour pa must have intercepted and destroyed them,\u201d he said tersely.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Colleen vigorously shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa would NEVER do a thing like that, never.\u00a0\u00a0 My ma on the other hand . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

She gasped as the truth suddenly dawned on her with an almost blinding intensity.\u00a0\u00a0 Memories of her mother inviting the Wilsons to dinner less than a month after she had received Apollo\u2019s last letter . . . practically shoving her and Matt out on the porch, so they might talk together \u201cwithout the young ones or the old fuddy-duddies butting in\u201d . . . making sure she and Matt sat together at picnics and church socials . . . danced almost all of the dances together at the community balls, and parties given by friends and neighbors . . . .<\/p>\n

Colleen shook her head, feeling more confused than ever.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, do you love Matt Wilson?\u201d Apollo asked, gently placing his hands on her shoulders.<\/p>\n

Colleen dolefully shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought I did, right up until you showed up on our door step last night,\u201d she said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow . . . I don\u2019t know!\u00a0\u00a0 I honestly . . . don\u2019t . . . know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I can clear things up quickly and easily,\u201d Apollo said.\u00a0\u00a0 He took her in his arms and kissed her with tenderness and passion.<\/p>\n

Shocked by his bold move, Colleen initially stood stiff and rigid in his arms.\u00a0\u00a0 The less than a second, however, she relaxed and pressed closer, returning his kiss with an almost greedy passion.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d Colleen murmured, when their lips at long last parted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGod help me, I DON\u2019T love Matt.\u00a0\u00a0 NOW, I\u2019m not sure I ever did.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She shook her head again.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMaybe that\u2019s why we\u2019ve carried on as we have for all these years.\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, Apollo . . . WHAT am I going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you\u2019re NOT going to do is marry Matt Wilson,\u201d Apollo said in a gentle, yet firm tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s . . . it\u2019s too late for me to back out now, Apollo,\u201d Colleen said dismally.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll the food, and dresses are bought and paid for . . . the whole of Virginia City\u2019s on pins and needles waiting for the Wedding of the Century . . . all the embarrassment I\u2019ve heaped on m\u2019 ma after all the times I kept breakin\u2019 it off with Matt . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Her words gave way to a torrent of tears, born out of the hopeless despair that had risen up from within, and threatened to engulf her.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t cry, Love, please don\u2019t cry,\u201d Apollo put his arms around Colleen and held her close.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve got \u2018til Saturday to figure out SOMETHING!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is most unusual for all of the MEN in the family to come for a fitting, Mam\u2019selle Stacy,\u201d Madame Camille Darnier, the premier dress maker in Virginia City, remarked as she helped Stacy into a dress still half held together with pins and basting.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Madame Darnier,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI had no idea it was all gonna come to this when Pa made me an offer I couldn\u2019t refuse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d Camille queried, as an amused smile began to tug hard at the corner of her mouth.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd just what, exactly, was the nature of this offer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa said he would forget the last three advances he\u2019d made on my allowance,\u201d Stacy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt meant the difference between me getting my allowance next week instead of next YEAR.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Camille chuckled softly and shook her head, \u201cand no apologies are necessary.\u00a0\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a fine thing . . . a very fine thing indeed to see the men of a family taking so keen an interest in what their women folk wear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not so much them taking an interest as it is they don\u2019t trust me,\u201d Stacy sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy brother, Joe, actually convinced Pa that I\u2019m having a dress made like . . . well, like the dresses the girls at the Silver Dollar wear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am sure you went to your papa and with silver tongue and honeyed tone, convinced him otherwise,\u201d Camille said with smug satisfaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cI tried, but I\u2019m afraid my tongue and tone weren\u2019t silvered and honeyed enough,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa just plain wouldn\u2019t listen to ME.\u00a0\u00a0 He CAN be pretty stubborn sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike someone else we know?\u201d Camille said with a knowing smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so, Madame Darnier,\u201d Stacy readily admitted, then sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSeeing as how I couldn\u2019t convince PA of anything, I did the only thing I COULD do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got even with my brother,\u201d Stacy said, relishing the memory.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy vengeance was pretty horrible to behold, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot . . . the Lo Mein Affair?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy looked thoroughly scandalized.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMadame Darnier, first of all I\u2019m perfectly capable of wreaking horrible vengeance on my brother WITHOUT the help of all those people, thank you very much,\u201d she declared, indignant and outraged that anyone could even think such a thing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd certain pieces of, ummmm circumstantial evidence not withstanding, not a single, solitary soul one who actually witnessed the incident can place me, or any OTHER member of my family . . . any where NEAR the place at the exact moment everything blew up.\u00a0\u00a0 Furthermore, we CAN produce witnesses . . . LOTS of witnesses . . . who can truthfully verify that my pa, my brothers, Hop Sing, and I were someplace else entirely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of those things we\u2019ll never know for sure, I suppose,\u201d Camille murmured softly, as she slipped the last pin into the hem of Stacy dress.<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Stacy agreed, inwardly hoping and praying that such would remain the case until she and Joe were old and gray, and Pa too old and feeble to march them out to the barn at the very least.<\/p>\n

Camille stood away to admire her handiwork.\u00a0\u00a0 The dress was made from pale blue silk that enhanced Stacy\u2019s deep sky blue eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s clean tailored lines, full skirt, scooped neckline, and waist gathered with a sash tastefully accentuated her trim, yet blossoming female figure.\u00a0\u00a0 The tiny, French cut puffed sleeves and the neckline were trimmed with a thin edge of lace and faux pearls.<\/p>\n

\u201cMam\u2019selle Stacy, you look lovely!\u201d Camille exclaimed with delight.<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you really think so?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy was genuinely surprised.<\/p>\n

\u201cOui,\u201d Camille said firmly, then smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow, Mam\u2019selle Stacy, it\u2019s . . . what\u2019s that expression?\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yes!\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s show time!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The dressmaker pulled back the curtain, separating the dressing room from the fitting room, where the entire Cartwright Clan and Molly O\u2019Hanlan waited.<\/p>\n

Stacy straightened her posture, pulled her shoulders back, chin up, and stomach in before marching resolutely into the fitting room.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell?\u00a0\u00a0 What do you think?\u201d she asked, holding her breath.<\/p>\n

Hoss broke into a big smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell don\u2019t you beat all,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe quipped with a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2019da ever thought YOU\u2019D clean up so pretty?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it, Baby Brother, that ain\u2019t a very nice thing t\u2019 say to a pretty young la—\u00a0 I mean a pretty young WOMAN,\u201d Hoss said, glaring at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT pretty young woman?\u201d Joe demanded, his eyes sparkling with impish delight.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, she\u2019s our SISTER, for heaven\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat don\u2019t matter none, Li\u2019l Joe,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s STILL a pretty gal, \u2018n YOU got \u2018til the count o\u2019 five to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for taking up for me, Big Brother,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 She gave her biggest brother an affectionate bear hug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, please . . . PLEASE . . . don\u2019t make him apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked at Stacy askance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he apologizes to me now, I\u2019m gonna feel real guilty when I make fun of him wearing his monkey suit,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . with tie,\u201d Hop Sing added.<\/p>\n

\u201cAwww NO!\u201d Joe immediately protested, his voice filled with passionate, righteous indignation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am not . . . I repeat . . . I am NOT gonna wear a dadblamed tie!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Miss Stacy can look pretty, Little Joe can wear tie!\u201d Hop Sing insisted, with a curt nod of his head for emphasis.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLeast he can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just a doggone minute!\u00a0\u00a0 PA said I didn\u2019t HAVE to wear a tie,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s funny . . . PA doesn\u2019t remember saying any such thing,\u201d Ben archly observed, with a wry, jaundiced glare aimed in the general direction of his youngest son.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn fact . . . PA doesn\u2019t even remember you asking the question.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s probably because he asked you in the wee hours of the morning while you were blissfully sawing wood,\u201d Adam said with a smug grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you\u2019re so smart, don\u2019t ya?\u201d Joe retorted, with a baleful glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t THINK I\u2019m smart, Little Brother . . . I KNOW I\u2019m smart,\u201d Adam quipped.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing not care what Papa say or what Papa NOT say or if Papa remember what Little Joe say.\u00a0\u00a0 Hop Sing STILL say Little Joe wear tie,\u201d the number one cook of the Ponderosa declared with an emphatic nod of his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u00a0\u00a0 What Hop Sing said!\u201d Candy declared.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd Stacy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Candy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re not going to let a little thing like an apology stop you from making fun of him wearing his monkey suit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho said anything about letting it stop me?\u201d Stacy quipped with an impish grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll I said was that I\u2019d feel guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, as your consultant, I think your dress is perfect,\u201d Teresa declared smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAbsolutely perfect!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am in complete agreement with my wife,\u201d Adam said with a smile.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled with genuine delight mixed with a healthy dose of deep, profound heartfelt relief.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, didn\u2019t anyone ever tell you the BRIDE is supposed to the most beautiful woman at her wedding,\u201d he said, teasing, yet in earnest, \u201cnot her younger sister\u2019s best friend?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I think you\u2019re ever so slightly prejudiced,\u201d Stacy said, as she impulsively gave him a quick hug, \u201cand I love you all the more for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I AM slightly prejudiced,\u201d Ben admitted, hugging her in return, \u201cbut I do know a beautiful young woman when I see one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOui, Monsieur Cartwright,\u201d Camille exclaimed with delight, \u201cyour Mam\u2019selle Stacy . . . she IS beautiful, and all by \u2018erself.\u00a0\u00a0 She has no need of all the fancy fol-de-rol and doo-dads most of the other ladies like to wear.\u00a0\u00a0 All Mam\u2019selle Stacy needs is a simple, yet lovely frame to show her off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Madame Darnier,\u201d Stacy said, inwardly chagrinned by the sudden rush of blood to her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter cut back on the compliments, y\u2019all, before her head ends up swelling to three times its normal size,\u201d Joe teased.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour head\u2019s gonna swell TEN times it\u2019s normal size right after I finish mopping up the corral with you,\u201d Stacy threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cHah!\u201d Joe snorted with mock derision.\u00a0 \u201cYou and what army?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about a couple of older Cartwright brothers?\u201d Adam countered, as he and Hoss moved in on their younger brother and glared down at him in unison.<\/p>\n

Joe immediately backed away throwing up his hands as if to ward off physical blows.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUh oh . . . looks like The Kid\u2019s turned so chicken, she\u2019s gonna let our big brothers fight her battles for her,\u201d he taunted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am NOT,\u201d Stacy retorted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sharing!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSharing WHAT?\u201d Joe demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, speaking for myself, I enjoy pounding you . . . a lot.\u00a0\u00a0 It would be wrong of me to deny Hoss and Adam the same pleasure . . . after all, Pa DID teach us to share.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen?\u201d Teresa walked over and stood next to her father-in-law, who stood a little apart from his high-spirited offspring.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben confessed with a pensive smile.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSurely, you\u2019re not worried about the dress,\u201d Teresa said, linking her arm through his.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m NOT worried about the dress . . . not anymore,\u201d he replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think, maybe, I\u2019m a little worried about STACY.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d Teresa queried, favoring him with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe said it himself . . . who\u2019d have thought she\u2019d clean up so pretty?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa gave Ben\u2019s arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBen,\u201d she began in a gentle, yet firm tone, \u201cany young man with romantic ideas in his head about Stacy, is going to have to pass muster with you, Hoss, Joe, AND Hop Sing . . . before he so much as LOOKS at that young woman, Joe never dreamed would clean up so pretty.\u00a0\u00a0 The young man with the courage, guts, stupidity, and foolhardiness, to face the lot of you is going to be someone who genuinely cares about that daughter of yours . . . a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou make your brothers-in-law, Hop Sing, and me sound like a bunch of ogres,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 Though his tone of voice was stern, the gleam in those dark brown eyes and the bare hint of a smile now tugging hard against the corner of his mouth told Teresa that her father-in-law liked the idea very much.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou, ummm . . . really think the lot of us are really that . . . formidable?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely!\u201d she declared stoutly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Teresa,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and when Dio reaches the same age Stacy is now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019ll be quick to remind ME that Adam and Benjy are every bit as formidable as you, Hoss, Joe, and Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYoung Lady . . . you can count on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that my dress has the approval of ALMOST everyone,\u201d Stacy said directing a meaningful look at Joe, \u201cI have two problems.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d Ben queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst . . . can we take the buggy to the wedding, Pa?\u201d Stacy asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m no good at riding side saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT can easily be arranged,\u201d Ben promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the second problem?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShoes,\u201d she replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ve tried on everything at the shoe store and they\u2019ve all turned out to be torture boots.\u00a0\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t even walk in most of them without inflicting the worst agony of agonies on my feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMam\u2019selle Stacy, I \u2018ave just the thing,\u201d Camille said.\u00a0\u00a0 She reached under the counter and pulled out a box.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re also perfect for the waltz, non?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She carefully placed the box in Stacy\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n

Stacy removed the lid and lifted out a pair of pale blue silk slippers, bearing close resemblance to ballet shoes, complete with the lacings.\u00a0\u00a0 They matched the blue silk material of her dress perfectly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re perfect, Madame Darnier . . . thank you,\u201d she declared smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerfect for dancing, too, as you can see,\u201d Camille said with an indulgent smile, \u201cespecially for dancing the waltz.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI s\u2019pose,\u201d Stacy said softly, \u201c . . . IF someone can teach me how between now and The Wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would be more than happy to teach you, Little Sister,\u201d Adam offered gallantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, teaching Stacy to dance is MY job,\u201d Ben said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU can teach Dio in a few years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d better try them on, Stacy,\u201d Teresa suggested, leading her young sister-in-law to the nearest chair.<\/p>\n

Stacy slipped the shoes on and deftly tied the laces.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPerfect fit,\u201d she said, after walking a few steps.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Mon Dieu!\u00a0\u00a0 Look at the time!\u201d Camille Darnier cried out in horror, as her eyes strayed to the wall clock in the fitting room.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMam\u2019selle Stacy, come, come!\u00a0\u00a0 We must get you out of your dress, vit!\u00a0\u00a0 Vit!\u00a0\u00a0 The Bride is due for HER fitting in fifteen minutes, and I\u2019ve not yet started to fit Mam\u2019selle MOLLY.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . . Hoss, we\u2019d better get a move on,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe have a lot shopping to do yet for tomorrow night.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave his wife a chaste kiss on the lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSee you later, Sweetheart!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

The Cartwright men, including Candy and Hop Sing all quickly went their separate ways, leaving Stacy and Teresa behind in the dress shop.\u00a0\u00a0 The pair retired to the dressing room, where Teresa graciously offered to help Stacy with her dress, freeing Camille to begin working with Molly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMerci, merci, a thousand times, merci,\u201d Camille said with sincere, heartfelt appreciation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cM\u2019sieu Adam, he is so lucky to have such a lovely lady as his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Madame Darnier,\u201d Teresa said with a smile.<\/p>\n

Teresa carefully helped Stacy remove the dress, and hung it on its waiting hanger as the latter began to put on her street clothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy . . . and Teresa . . . guess what?\u201d Molly said, her eyes shining.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI meant to tell you this when your pa brought me out to the Ponderosa, but I forgot with all the upset about Apollo and the shock of you actually having a dress made for this wedding.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused melodramatically for effect.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe music box came.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt did?!\u00a0\u00a0 Really??\u201d Stacy queried, surprised and delighted.\u00a0\u00a0 The music box Molly had just mentioned was to be a wedding gift for Colleen and Matt from her and her brother, Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 It had taken them the better part of a year to save the money, and they had been anxiously awaiting delivery since the order was been placed somewhere around the beginning of March.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, Molly, that\u2019s great!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait \u2018til you see!\u00a0\u00a0 My brother Frankie\u2019s picking it up on his way here with Colleen,\u201d Molly babbled on with excitement.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got to see it!\u00a0\u00a0 Can you wait for me to finish, and for Frankie and Colleen to come?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Teresa agreed with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re in no hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy and Teresa adjourned to the front of the dress shop, where the former paid for her shoes and the remainder owed on the dress.\u00a0\u00a0 She arranged to have both delivered to the house the following morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long have you and Molly known each other?\u201d Teresa asked, as she and Stacy took seats in the retail area of the shop.<\/p>\n

\u201cSince the first day I started school in Virginia City,\u201d Stacy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSubjects like arithmetic and English grammar are definitely NOT my strong points.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly gets straight A\u2019s in those and just about everything else.\u00a0\u00a0 Over the years, she\u2019s tutored me in arithmetic and grammar and I\u2019ve tutored her in things like horseback riding, fishing, tracking, and climbing trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Stacy,\u201d it was Molly.\u00a0\u00a0 She stepped from the fitting room into the front of the shop, wearing a brilliantly hued royal blue satin dress that overwhelmed and bleached all the subtle color right out of Molly\u2019s light strawberry blonde hair and fair complexion.\u00a0 \u201cI look awful.\u00a0\u00a0 How could Colleen do this to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, remember what I told you about attitude?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA-attitude?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttitude,\u201d Stacy said in a gentle, yet firm tone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Molly, straighten up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly swallowed and drew herself up to her full height of five feet two inches.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right!\u00a0\u00a0 Now . . . shoulders back, chin up,\u201d Stacy continued.<\/p>\n

As Molly obeyed Stacy\u2019s prompting, a fierce, determined look came into her pale blue eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want you to keep telling yourself that YOU . . . Molly O\u2019Hanlan . . . are the most beautiful woman to ever live and draw breath in Virginia Ci\u2014NO!\u00a0\u00a0 You . . . Molly O\u2019Hanlan . . . are the most beautiful woman to ever grace the whole of the State of Nevada!\u00a0\u00a0 Just keep telling yourself that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI, Molly O\u2019Hanlan, am the most beautiful woman to ever grace the whole of the State of Nevada . . . \u201d Molly began to recite the mantra under her breath.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI, Molly O\u2019Hanlan . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMam\u2019selle Molly, come, come,\u201d Camille Darnier cried frantically, as she burst through the curtain separating the fitting room from the store front.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see you\u2019ve taught her something more valuable than arithmetic, English grammar, horseback riding, fishing, tracking, and climbing trees combined,\u201d Teresa said smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean attitude?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

Teresa nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the barn cats taught me that lesson a long time ago, not long after I first came to the Ponderosa,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the barn cats?\u201d Teresa asked, intrigued.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one we call Mama Cat.\u00a0\u00a0 She had just given birth to a litter of kittens,\u201d Stacy explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOne night, Hoss went in to change her bedding and leave her fresh food.\u00a0\u00a0 Mama Cat didn\u2019t know Hoss was there to help her, because she and most of the barn cats are half wild.\u00a0\u00a0 I was in one of the other stalls giving Blaze Face a rub down, when I heard this horrible screech.\u00a0\u00a0 I ran to see what it was, and saw my big brother Hoss practically cornered by a small eight pound cat hissing and spitting for all she was worth to protect her kittens.\u00a0\u00a0 I learned it\u2019s not so much how big you are or how strong \u2018n powerful you are, or even how big a gun you carry.\u00a0\u00a0 All that really matters is attitude!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Stacy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Frankie O\u2019Hanlan, with his sister, the bride, in tow.\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen stood demurely, a little behind her brother, looking very uncharacteristically subdued.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, yourself, Frankie, Colleen,\u201d Stacy greeted the older O\u2019Hanlan offspring with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t believe you\u2019ve met my sister-in-law, Teresa.\u00a0\u00a0 She\u2019s Adam\u2019s wife.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa, this is Colleen and Frankie O\u2019Hanlan, Molly\u2019s older sister and brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Standing all of five feet, five and a half inches on the rare occasions he chose to stand up straight, Frankie O\u2019Hanlan had startlingly bright red hair, already thinning despite the fact he was only three years older than his sister and Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 Today, he wore a pair of light olive green pants, white shirt with bolo tie, and a plaid jacket hued in brilliant shades of red, yellow, black, and lime green.\u00a0\u00a0 Though unable to quite bring himself to make eye contact with Teresa when introduced, Frankie was able manage a shy smile and politely offer his hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cG-Glad to meet you, umm, Mrs. Cartwright, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa rolled her eyes, then grinned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie, my name\u2019s TERESA,\u201d she said shaking his hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m pleased to meet you, too.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She, then turned to Colleen, a slim, willowy woman with the same bright red hair as her brother and intense green eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m also pleased to meet you, Colleen,\u201d she said warmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMay I offer you best wishes on your impending marriage?\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen gave Teresa a look of complete and utter despair, then burst inexplicably into tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cGotta excuse my sister, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Frankie said quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa says it\u2019s a real bad case of wedding day jitters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I heard the door open,\u201d Madame Darnier gushed, as she waltzed into the room, smiling broadly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe beautiful bride-to-be is right on time.\u00a0\u00a0 Come, come, Mam\u2019selle Colleen,\u201d she nimbly took the oldest O\u2019Hanlan sister by the shoulders and steered her back toward the fitting room.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure it\u2019s only the jitters, Frankie?\u201d Stacy asked, as she stared at Colleen\u2019s retreating form.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what PA says,\u201d Frankie reiterated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I keep seeing her as some kind of sacrificial lamb being led off to the slaughter?\u201d Stacy mused aloud to no one in particular.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Frankie, there you are!\u201d Molly greeted her brother enthusiastically as she emerged from the fitting area, now attired in her street clothes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDid you get the music box?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMusic box?\u201d A bewildered frown knotted his brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, the music box,\u201d Molly said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOur gift to Colleen and Matt!\u00a0\u00a0 You were supposed to pick it up while I was being fitted for my dress here, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u00a0\u00a0 Did you pick it up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I did,\u201d Frankie said in a highly offended tone of voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, where is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Frankie looked at one empty hand, then the other.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Frankie, you lost it!\u201d Molly wailed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow could you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie,\u201d Teresa immediately took charge of the situation, \u201cwhere did you go after you picked up the music box?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen and I just stopped at the saloon,\u201d Frankie said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI had a beer, she had three glasses of whiskey . . . drank \u2018em straight down, too, like they was water.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He looked thoroughly scandalized.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHICH saloon, Frankie?\u201d Stacy pressed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cVirginia City has six.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSilver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Frankie, are you sure?\u201d Molly demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Frankie said, \u201c \u2018cause I showed the music box to Clarissa Starling, when Colleen wasn\u2019t lookin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 A lopsided smile spread the entire length of the lower portion of his face.\u00a0\u00a0 He sighed contentedly, then turned to Teresa and added, \u201cClarissa\u2019s one of the girls that works at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProblem solved,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa knows it\u2019s yours.\u00a0\u00a0 When she found out you\u2019d gone off and left it, she probably gave it to Sam to hold for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Teresa said.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Boys, everything\u2019s set,\u201d Ben declared with a satisfied smile.<\/p>\n

The back room was festooned in bright red, white, and blue ribbons.\u00a0\u00a0 A bar had been hastily assembled using two empty barrels and wood planks, and covered over with a large, white linen tablecloth.\u00a0\u00a0 Ribbons were stretched out across the front of the bar, and the crates containing new, unopened bottles of whiskey had been carefully stacked underneath.\u00a0\u00a0 Tables and chairs had been placed along the back wall, and the wall facing the bar.\u00a0\u00a0 They, too, were covered with white table clothes and decked with ribbons.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll we need to do NOW is move those crates of whiskey into Sam\u2019s storeroom.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben pointed to fifteen crates still stacked next to the door, leading out into the barroom beyond.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you sure we got enough whiskey?\u201d Hoss queried doubtfully.<\/p>\n

Ben walked over to the bar, and pulled lifted the tablecloth, taking care not to unloose the ribbons they had so carefully attached.\u00a0\u00a0 The entire space was taken up by crates of whiskey.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd if all this isn\u2019t enough, I\u2019ve arranged for Sam to keep aside extra from HIS stock.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about the can-can dancers, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked, grinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll come in through the rear door and dance \u2018til . . . whenever!\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re also going to have a large cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow large, Pa?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cLarge enough to hold three very pretty gals,\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan-can gals, plus three MORE pretty gals comin\u2019 out of a cake . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss shook his head, clearly awe-struck.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cChimminey Christmas, Pa!\u00a0\u00a0 You sure know how to put a party together!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam!\u00a0 \u00a0How much is it worth to you for me NOT to spill the beans to Teresa about the can-can gals and the three coming out of the cake?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 His father and older brothers turned and found him lounging in the open door between the back room and the public room out front, grinning from ear to ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it, Li\u2019l Joe, what are you doing here?\u201d Hoss demanded with a scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cI came in looking for the lot of YOU, of course,\u201d Joe cheerfully explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam told me where to find you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Adam said, as he turned and favored his youngest brother with a smug grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, for YOUR information, Baby Brother, Teresa already knows about the can-can girls, thanks to YOUR unbridled tongue at the dinner table yesterday afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah . . . I kinda forgot about that,\u201d Joe murmured softly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow about the three nekkid gals who are gonna burst out of the cake?\u00a0\u00a0 Does she know about THEM?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT three nek— I mean NAKED girls who are going to burst out of the cake?!\u201d Adam demanded, favoring his youngest brother the with a withering glare.<\/p>\n

Ben turned and favored his youngest son with the meanest glare he could possibly summon.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow you hold on just one minute, Young Man!\u201d he growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t recall saying a dadblamed thing about those gals being naked . . . any more than I remember telling you that you didn\u2019t hafta wear a tie to the wedding . . . and while we\u2019re on the subject, Joseph Francis Cartwright, there\u2019s also the matter of that conversation you and I had about your sister\u2019s dress.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . you mean HE\u2019S the one who planted that idea in your head \u2018bout Li\u2019l Sister having a dress made up like the ones the gals . . . here . . . wear?!\u201d Hoss queried, with a bemused frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat wasn\u2019t very nice, Li\u2019l Brother,\u201d Hoss sternly admonished his youngest brother.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPoor Pa\u2019s been worried sick ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got a good mind to march ya out into the alley behind this saloon and whale the livin\u2019 daylights outta, Son,\u201d Ben declared, \u201cbut, on thinking about it, I think justice might be better served if I turned you over to your sister\u2019s tender mercies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u00a0\u00a0 Y-You . . . you wouldn\u2019t!\u201d Joe squeaked, as the blood drained right out of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell ya what, Son,\u201d Ben said, as he sidled up along side his youngest son and placed his arm around the young man\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t say a word to your sister if YOU don\u2019t say anything to Teresa.\u00a0\u00a0 I . . . trust we understand each other?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYessir!\u201d Joe said very quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood boy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben flashed Joe a feral grin and patted his cheek.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow that we have all that straight, why don\u2019t we g\u2019won out and have a beer?\u00a0\u00a0 Putting away groceries and decorating is very thirsty work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea, Pa,\u201d Adam agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Baby Brother, you, too.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll buy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s what I call a good oldest brother,\u201d Joe declared with a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 The instant he stepped out into the public room in the front of the saloon, the grin quickly evaporated.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, well, well . . . . \u201d he murmured softly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSpeak of the she-devils and guess who appears!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that, Son?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . I kinda have the feeling that Joe\u2019s trying to tell us our women-folk have decided to join us,\u201d Adam observed, mildly surprised.\u00a0\u00a0 He pointed to the far end of the bar, where Stacy, Teresa, and the O\u2019Hanlans appeared to be in earnest conversation with Sam, the bar tender.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, remember our agreement!\u201d Ben warned, sotto voce, as he and his three sons started across the room to join the female contingent of the family.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheesh!\u201d Joe groaned, rolling his eyes heavenward.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan\u2019t you guys take a joke?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just remember what I said, Young Man,\u201d Ben admonished his youngest son with a dark, angry scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright!\u201d Joe snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t expect to see you again quite so soon,\u201d Adam greeted his wife with a smile and quick kiss on the lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems Frankie left his and Molly\u2019s wedding gift to their sister, Colleen, and Matt here when he stopped by for a beer earlier,\u201d Teresa explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s here to retrieve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and WE\u2019RE here to offer Frankie moral support,\u201d Stacy added with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou Cartwrights sure have some funny notions about moral support,\u201d Frankie groused, glaring over at Stacy then at Teresa.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean, Frankie?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie was a little reluctant about coming back to get the wedding gift he left here earlier, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo Stacy and Teresa had to twist his arm a little.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLiterally!\u201d Frankie groaned, as he made a point of massaging his right forearm.<\/p>\n

Stacy and Teresa exchanged glances and rolled their eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie left the gift here,\u201d the latter explained in a reasonable tone of voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s only fair that Frankie come back and get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree completely,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks a lot,\u201d Frankie grumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have you know that I speak as a man who\u2019s had his own arm twisted enough times . . . LITERALLY,\u201d Adam quipped, with a glance over in the general direction of his wife.<\/p>\n

Teresa responded with a smug, secretive, Mona Lisa smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, Folks,\u201d Sam affably greeted the new comers.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan I get you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Adam murmured softly, then turned to the bartender.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam, you go ahead and bring \u2018em whatever they want.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m buying.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhiskey!\u201d Frankie snapped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn a big glass.\u00a0\u00a0 A VERY big glass!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis Sean O\u2019Hanlan, Junior!\u201d Molly exclaimed, dismayed and righteously indignant.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t it a little early in the day for that?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for medicinal purposes,\u201d Frankie growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT medicinal purposes?\u201d Molly demanded, regarding her brother with a very jaundiced eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cNerve disorder,\u201d Frankie replied without missing a beat, eliciting a big grin from Joe and soft chuckles from Adam and Teresa, \u201cand I\u2019ll thank YOU not to sound so durn much like MA!\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly\u2019s cheeks flamed bright scarlet.\u00a0\u00a0 She glared murderously over at her brother, and though her mouth moved up and down, no words, not even the slightest sound issued forth.<\/p>\n

She looked so much like Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan at HER very worst, Stacy had to turn away and quickly stuff her balled fist into her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you be having your usual, Stacy?\u201d Sam asked, trying very hard not to smile himself.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOr would you prefer sarsaparilla?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUsual!\u201d Stacy squeaked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, that\u2019s one whiskey in a very big glass and one root beer,\u201d Sam said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Cartwright . . . Miss O\u2019Hanlan . . . what\u2019ll YOU have?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have a beer,\u201d Teresa replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing for me, thank you!\u201d Molly said stiffly, having once again found her voice.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Frankie?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mrs. Cartwright, Ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa sighed, rolled her eyes, and slowly shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s the school teacher\u2019s tone of voice,\u201d Adam suggested with an amused smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa was a teacher before we were married . . . and from what I saw, a very good one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, My Love,\u201d she responded with a quick smile and a gentle, affectionate squeeze of his hand, before again turning her attention to Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs for YOU, Young Man . . . don\u2019t you have something to ask Sam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI already asked him for whiskey,\u201d Frankie replied, with a bewildered frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe music box!\u201d Molly wailed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou were going to ask Sam about the music box . . . remember?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMusic box?\u201d Frankie queried, looking bewildered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, the music box!\u201d Stacy said glaring at the hapless young man.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYours and Molly\u2019s wedding gift for Colleen and Matt!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d Frankie suddenly remembered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Frankie?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Colleen . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 His face flushed a deep crimson upon remembering how much whiskey his older sister had consumed in so short a time.\u00a0\u00a0 He swallowed nervously, then forced himself to continue.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen Colleen and I stopped by earlier, I had a package with me that I think I . . . well, I kinda maybe have left here?\u00a0\u00a0 Did you uhhh, happen to by some kinda odd chance . . . find it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Frankie,\u201d Sam replied, shaking his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t seen it.\u00a0\u00a0 You might ask Clarissa, though . . . she was waiting tables.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAsk C-Clarissa?\u201d Frankie gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s ok, Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 She won\u2019t bite ya,\u201d Sam offered in a kindly tone, knowing full well that the nervous, tongue-tied young man had a king sized crush on the girl, every bit as big as the whole State of Texas.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Clarissa now?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOver there,\u201d Sam pointed to the slim, willowy red haired woman standing next to one of the tables in the back chatting with three men.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Frankie, go ahead,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cG-go ahead and . . . what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead and ask Clarissa about the music box,\u201d Teresa prompted.<\/p>\n

Frankie peered over at Clarissa, through fear-filled eyes, round as saucers.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo I hafta?\u201d he whimpered, wringing his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you have to,\u201d Stacy said with growing impatience.<\/p>\n

\u201cGeeze Loo-Wheeze!\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019ll I s-say to her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for heaven\u2019s sake, Frankie!\u201d Stacy exclaimed, her impatience getting the better of her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust ask her about the music box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if she gets insulted?\u201d Frankie groaned softly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019ll hate me forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy should she get insulted?\u201d Stacy asked with a puzzled frown.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re NOT going to accuse her of stealing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am surprised!\u201d Joe declared in tones of mock outrage.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, I am APPALLED!\u00a0\u00a0 While I expect my sister to be a hard case . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI learn by example, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy loftily retorted.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d Adam queried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou mind my asking who?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean who serves as my example?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn THIS instance . . . HE does,\u201d Stacy replied, patting Joe in the left forearm.<\/p>\n

Joe glared at his sister for a moment, then continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, Teresa . . . YOU surprise me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d Teresa queried, as she demurely sipped her beer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never . . . not in a million years . . . EVER expected it of YOU.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Joe exhaled a very long, very melodramatic sigh, and shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll this time, I thought you were so kind, gracious . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like he\u2019s finally seen the true you, My Dear,\u201d Adam teased, his warm, golden brown eyes dancing with impish delight.<\/p>\n

Teresa promptly turned to her husband and thumbed up her nose.<\/p>\n

Adam smiled and stuck out his tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201cSettle down, Children,\u201d Ben admonished his eldest son and daughter-in-law in a tone of voice a bit too solemn.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThink of the atrocious example you\u2019re setting for your younger bothers and sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa,\u201d Adam groaned, grinning from ear-to-ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis conversation\u2019s NOT over, My Love,\u201d Teresa whispered, the minute Ben turned his attention elsewhere, \u201cnot by a long shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0\u00a0 It certainly isn\u2019t!\u201d Adam readily agreed, lowing his own voice to a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter supper,\u201d Teresa said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUpstairs, in our room.\u00a0\u00a0 That way we\u2019ll have a modicum of privacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t wait!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, there\u2019s no trick at all to talking with girls,\u201d Joe, meanwhile, worked valiantly to bolster the young man\u2019s sagging, demoralized spirits.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s as easy . . . and as natural as falling right off a log.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s gonna hate me,\u201d Frankie moaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna say the wrong things . . . maybe DO the wrong thing . . . oh, who knows?\u00a0\u00a0 I might\u2019ve even put on the wrong cologne after I shaved this morning . . .\u00a0 but she\u2019s gonna end up despising me, I just know it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell ya what, Frankie . . . for the price of a couple o\u2019 beers, I\u2019ll be more \u2018n happy to SHOW you just how easy it is,\u201d Joe offered, with a confident smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cY-You mean . . . YOU\u2019LL ask her?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The profound relief on Frankie\u2019s face was almost comical to behold.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy turned away and covered her mouth with both hands to keep from laughing out loud.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Joe, thank you, thank you, thank you.\u00a0\u00a0 If you were a gal, I\u2019d kiss ya!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe cost of a couple o\u2019 beers\u2019ll more than suffice, Frankie!\u201d Joe said stiffly, while silently giving thanks for small mercies.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph . . . . \u201d Ben warned, his voice low and menacing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re up to— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, Pa!\u201d Joe squeaked, noting with fear and trepidation that his too-quick response had caused the scowl already on his father\u2019s face to deepen.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa, honest!\u00a0\u00a0 All I\u2019m gonna do is by Clarissa a drink and talk to her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s ALL?!\u201d Ben queried dubiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s ALL!\u201d<\/p>\n

Under the watchful eyes of family and friends, Joe approached Clarissa, smiled, and tipped his hat.\u00a0\u00a0 She smiled back, and nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 After a few words to the three men seated at the table, and she focused her complete, undivided attention on the youngest Cartwright son.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe, still smiling that devastating smile, capable of melting butter in the cold of winter, gallantly offered Clarissa his arm.\u00a0\u00a0 She demurely slipped her arm through his, and led him over to a table in a more secluded corner.<\/p>\n

\u201cGosh-a-roonies, I sure wish I could talk to women like Joe,\u201d Frankie sighed enviously.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you don\u2019t, Frankie,\u201d Hoss said with a complacent smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTrust me on this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou seem to have no trouble talking to Molly, Stacy, and Teresa,\u201d Ben hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not really women, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Frankie said.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, I can assure you that my wife Teresa IS really a woman,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0\u00a0 The gleam in his eyes added, \u201cALL woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Frankie blushed, the color of his sudden healthy looking complexion clashing against his brilliant red hair.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cG-gosh, Teresa, I-I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he stammered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI-I didn\u2019t mean to offend you.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s just that, well . . . y-you\u2019re married to Adam and . . . Stacy and Molly . . . well, THEY\u2019RE just a couple of kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo apology necessary, Frankie,\u201d Teresa said gently, with a kind reassuring smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeak for yourself, Teresa,\u201d Stacy growled, as she and Molly glared daggers at the latter\u2019s hapless older brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, take it from me, when the gal is the RIGHT gal, you ain\u2019t gonna have one lick of problem talkin\u2019 with her,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is absolutely right,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHEY!\u00a0\u00a0 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU\u2019RE— \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The sound of Joe\u2019s outraged voice drew the attention of his family and the O\u2019Hanlans back to the secluded corner\u00a0 occupied by himself and Clarissa.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0\u00a0 NO!\u00a0\u00a0 NO!\u00a0\u00a0 NO!\u201d<\/strong> Clarissa Starling yelled at the top of her voice.\u00a0\u00a0 She seized the nearest mug of beer and emptied it in Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, Frankie?\u201d Hoss said with a smug grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI told ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Adam, seein\u2019 as how you\u2019re buyin\u2019, that\u2019ll be four dollars,\u201d Sam said.<\/p>\n

Adam reached in his back pocket for his wallet.\u00a0\u00a0 The pocket was empty.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey!\u201d he growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy wallet\u2019s gone!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, come on, Adam,\u201d Hoss teased.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the oldest trick in the book!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook!\u201d Stacy cried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHeading for the door!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She pointed out a stooped person, dressed in a nondescript gray overcoat, making his way toward the swinging saloon doors.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me,\u201d Adam growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have some property to recover.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He took off after the individual his sister had pointed out at a dead run.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy set her half empty root beer mug on the bar and followed.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

The individual in the gray overcoat, upon catching sight of Adam and Stacy bearing down on him, immediately straightened and bolted straight for the door.\u00a0\u00a0 Two of the patrons had to scramble to avoid collision.\u00a0\u00a0 The minute he hit the street he feinted right, then cut a sharp left.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis way, Older Brother,\u201d Stacy reached out and barely stopped Adam from turning to the right.\u00a0\u00a0 The pair chased their quarry down the sidewalk.\u00a0\u00a0 Up ahead, two men suddenly stepped from one of the offices carrying a heavy sofa between them.\u00a0\u00a0 The thief nimbly leapt, easily clearing the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy dived under it, and forward rolled back to her feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, Sir, may I have this dance?\u201d Adam quipped, with a wry smile, while neatly sidestepping around the leading man carrying the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0 Once safely on the other side, he resumed the chase, leaving the man with sofa staring after him with a bewildered frown on his face.<\/p>\n

Adam gritted his teeth and poured on speed passing his sister and gaining on the fleeing thief by leaps and bounds.\u00a0\u00a0 The instant he came within arm\u2019s reach of his quarry, Adam leapt with an ease and strength that surprised both himself and his sister, following behind.\u00a0\u00a0 His arms circled the fleeting thief\u2019s waist in an iron, vise like grip, worthy of his biggest brother, Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 The thief howled in pain and outrage as he and Adam crashed hard onto the sidewalk, the latter breaking his fall on top of the former.<\/p>\n

Adam immediately scrambled to his feet, and seized the thief by the coat lapels.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou have something that belongs to me,\u201d he said grimly.<\/p>\n

The thief lashed out punching Adam in the nose, and drawing blood.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hands immediately went to his bleeding nose, automatically releasing his quarry.\u00a0\u00a0 The pickpocket thudded onto the board sidewalk, howling in agony and protest.\u00a0\u00a0 He rose, and with a very pronounced limp continued his flight down the sidewalk, moaning with each step.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNebber bind be, Stacy, get HIB!\u201d Adam ordered, wincing in agony at each word.<\/p>\n

Stacy nodded and doubled her speed.\u00a0\u00a0 Rising anger gave her second wind.\u00a0\u00a0 In her mind, the only people allowed to pound Adam were his wife, and his brothers.\u00a0\u00a0 No one else, especially some low-life sneak-thieving pickpocket.\u00a0\u00a0 Up ahead was the end of the walk.\u00a0\u00a0 A wooden barricade stretched across the open area, as a protective measure to keep the unwary patron from taking an injurious tumble into the street three feet below.\u00a0\u00a0 The thief started to climb the barricade.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no you don\u2019t!\u201d Stacy reached out blindly, seizing his coat firmly in both hands.\u00a0\u00a0 The thief wriggled and flopped like a fish out of water, freeing himself from the confines of the coat.\u00a0\u00a0 He leapt the barrier and continued down the street, clad now only in his cowboy boots.\u00a0\u00a0 His lack of attire drew outraged screams from some of Virginia City\u2019s matrons.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you get hibb?\u201d Adam appeared at her elbow, with a borrowed red and white handkerchief held firmly in place up against his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cI THOUGHT I had him, but he slipped right through my fingers,\u201d Stacy said ruefully, pointing in the direction in with the man fled.<\/p>\n

Adam glanced up just in time to see the thief pause at one of the hitching posts outside the general store, just long enough to untie one of the horses.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The blood drained right out of his face, leaving it a sickly ashen gray.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSurely he\u2019s not going to . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . steal that horse?\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid he IS,\u201d Stacy said softly, the angry scowl on her face deepening.<\/p>\n

Adam watched in horrified fascination, as the thief awkwardly mounted his chosen steed.\u00a0\u00a0 The thief pulled on the reins, urging his horse to move.\u00a0\u00a0 The horse settled into a brisk, bouncing trot, revealing with a horrifying clarity, the rider\u2019s woeful lack of experience.<\/p>\n

\u201cGeeze-loo-wheeze!\u201d Stacy exclaimed, as she watched the rider bump up and down on the saddle, in rhythm to the horse\u2019s movements.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll betcha anything a sharpshooter could shoot that horse right out from under him and not come anywhere near touching him when he comes up like that.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Little Sister . . . thank you so buch for that agondizing ibage,\u201d Adam groaned, as the blood drained right out of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgonizing image is right,\u201d Stacy murmured softly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat guy\u2019s gonna be one saddle sore cowboy . . . that\u2019s for sure!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have no-ooo-oo idea!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam quickly turned away, squeezing his eyes shut.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019 think I can watch this . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA-Adam?\u201d Stacy queried anxiously, fearing he was going to faint right there on the spot.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI, uhhh . . . think, maybe we should have Doctor Martin look at your nose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not by nose, Little Sister,\u201d Adam said stiffly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just a very, very strogg ebbpathetic reaction.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA strong empathetic reaction to, uhhh . . . what, exactly?\u201d Stacy queried, her eyes round with horror, as she began fearing the absolute worst.<\/p>\n

Adam managed a wan smile for her benefit.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll answer your question when you\u2019re older.\u00a0\u00a0 MUCH older.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy sighed, and rolled her eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow MUCH older?\u201d she demanded, highly indignant.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry asking me again . . . ohhh, why don\u2019t we make it sometime after your thirtieth birthday,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t think I WON\u2019T ask,\u201d Stacy growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d Adam responded in a bland tone of voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs my wallet in amongst that pickpocket\u2019s ill-gotten gain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here!\u201d Stacy drew her brother\u2019s wallet out of the inside pocket and held it out to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Adam accepted the proffered\u00a0 wallet from Stacy and stuffed it into slipped it into his right side pocket of his pants.\u00a0\u00a0 He, then, began to gingerly rummage through the deep pockets of the overcoat.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood heavens!\u00a0\u00a0 Wallets . . . cash . . . a couple of watches . . . jewelry . . . looks like he\u2019s made quite a haul today,\u201d Adam wryly observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe certainly has,\u201d Stacy agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow what\u2019ll we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo things,\u201d Adam immediately replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFirst of all, we go back to the Silver Dollar, so I can pay my tab.\u00a0\u00a0 After that, we turn that coat over to Sheriff Coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

At the Silver Dollar Saloon, meanwhile, Joe stiffly returned to the bar, with a murderous scowl on his face, dripping wet with beer and foam.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I DON\u2019T want to talk about it,\u201d Joe said in terse, clipped tones.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joe?\u201d Sam queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cBar towel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam handed Joe a bar towel, laboring valiantly to keep a straight face.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned and found himself looking into the face of Lotus O\u2019Toole.\u00a0\u00a0 She was one of the girls who worked at the Silver Dollar, and an old friend since the day both started first grade at the Virginia City School.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Lotus,\u201d Joe said contritely.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid you haven\u2019t exactly caught me at my best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you can find it in yourself to excuse Clarissa,\u201d Lotus said gently.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s taking this so called Wedding of the Century very hard this time around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, dang it!\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\u00a0\u00a0 She and Matt Wilson . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Joe shook his head ruefully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d completely forgotten.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo harm done, Little Joe,\u201d Lotus said, linking her arm through his.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou can apologize to her later, after BOTH of you have had a chance to cool off.\u00a0\u00a0 In the meantime, can I buy you a drink?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow \u2018bout I buy YOU one, Lotus?\u201d Joe counter offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his family and excused himself.\u00a0 \u201cLotus, I was wondering . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Stacy returned, the former still pressing the handkerchief firmly to his nose.\u00a0\u00a0 His hair was mussed, shirt half out, and there was a gaping hole in his pants, exposing a skinned and bleeding right knee.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy had the overcoat slung over her arm.\u00a0\u00a0 Her hair and clothing were in a state similar to those of her oldest brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Teresa cried in dismay, seeing the cuts, scrapes, and bloody nose.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust superficial flesh wounds,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me see that nose, Son,\u201d Ben said, as he and Teresa peered anxiously into Adam\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Adam carefully removed the handkerchief.\u00a0\u00a0 Thankfully, the worst of the bleeding had stopped.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t APPEAR to be broken . . . . \u201d Teresa murmured thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree, but maybe we should stop by the doctor\u2019s office and have Paul take a look at you,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t hurt, Adam,\u201d Teresa pressed gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright,\u201d Adam reluctantly acquiesced, \u201c\u201cbut, first, we need to stop by the sheriff\u2019s office.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d Ben queried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t catch the thief, Pa,\u201d Stacy explained, \u201cbut we DID get his coat . . . and it\u2019s chock full of stolen goods.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy can also provide Roy with a complete description,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?!\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s wonderful!\u201d Ben exclaimed not without a fair amount of fatherly pride.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can only describe him from the back,\u201d Stacy said guardedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s more than what Roy\u2019s been able to get from the thief\u2019s victims so far,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, we\u2019d better get moving.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He looked over at his youngest son, standing at the end of the bar a few yards away.\u00a0\u00a0 He and Lotus were still huddled together in animated conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019ll wait for Joe,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf we don\u2019t find ya at the sheriff\u2019s office, we\u2019ll look for ya at Doc Martin\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy felt a great measure of relief in finally turning over the gray overcoat and its purloined contents to Sheriff Roy Coffee.\u00a0\u00a0 She and Adam then told the sheriff about Adam\u2019s wallet suddenly going missing, the subsequent chase, and capture of the coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you get a look at him, Stacy?\u201d Roy asked, as he fished out the contents in the coat\u2019s many pockets and stacked it on his desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure did,\u201d she replied, with a naughty grin that made Adam blanch.<\/p>\n

\u201cSit down.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Roy gestured for Stacy to take a seat in one of the chairs placed in front of his desk.<\/p>\n

Stacy nodded, then sat down.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam took the other chair at the insistence of his concerned wife and father.<\/p>\n

Roy opened the desk drawer, positioned above his lap and removed a well-sharpened pencil.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright, Stacy . . . what\u2019d the thief look like?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was tall and kinda on the skinny side . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure it was a he?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Stacy declared with an emphatic nod of her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCouldn\u2019t possibly be anything ELSE.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sarcastically rolled his eyes heavenward, drawing a sharp, puzzled glares from his father and his wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cG\u2019won,\u201d Roy urged.<\/p>\n

\u201cTall . . . kinda on the skinny side . . . with light brown curly hair, long . . . about to here.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy indicated a place against her own neck, roughly situated an inch above the spot where neck and shoulders joined together.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe also had a heart shaped tattoo on his left cheek . . . red heart with the words,\u00a0 \u2018Bubba \u2018n Ella forever\u2019 that last word spelled with a number four.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidja say that tattoo was on his CHEEK?\u201d Roy queried with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cHis cheek?!\u201d Ben echoed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, I thought you told me over at the Silver Dollar that you could only describe him from the back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMighty odd thing, for a man to have a tattoo like that on his fa—!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 All of a sudden, the sheriff\u2019s face went white.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWait a minute!\u00a0\u00a0 You mean t\u2019 tell me the thief was wearin\u2019 that tattoo— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, the only thing the thief was wearing, after Stacy grabbed his coat was . . . a pair of boots,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d Ben roared.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat Jumpin\u2019 Jehosaphat!\u201d Roy groaned.<\/p>\n

Teresa turned her back on the assembly and stuffed her balled fist in her mouth, trying desperately to stifle the sudden onset of boisterous laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe made his get away on a stolen horse,\u201d Stacy continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cDidja see which way he went?\u201d Roy asked, grateful for the change of subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Stacy sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI . . . I was really worried about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy were you worried about Adam?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was looking awfully sick, Pa,\u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it\u2019s alright!\u201d Adam very quickly interjected upon seeing the apprehension creeping into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI just suffered a very bad case of empathetic reaction.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s over now . . . over and done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bad case of empathetic reaction?!\u201d Roy queried with fast sinking heart.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDoes that me YOU didn\u2019t see which way the thief went either?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Roy,\u201d Adam shook his head, wincing again at the memory, \u201cbut I just plain and simply couldn\u2019t bear to watch.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He paused briefly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m afraid the thief wasn\u2019t a very experienced rider.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do ya figure, Adam?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could tell by the way he kept bouncing up and down in the saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cG-Great balls o\u2019 f-fire!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Roy Coffee moaned suddenly looked very ill himself.\u00a0\u00a0 He took a moment to compose himself, then rose none too steadily on his feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019d better get this overcoat \u2018n the stuff in its pockets under lock and key,\u201d he sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam . . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Roy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat includes your wallet, too.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Roy turned and held out his hand expectantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re joking!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s evidence, too, Son . . . just like all the other stuff in the pockets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I keep the money?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPlease?\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Adam, but the money\u2019s evidence, too,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow don\u2019t you worry none about it.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019ll be locked up safe \u2018n sound right here in my wall safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam dug his wallet out of his back pocket and surrendered it reluctantly to the sheriff\u2019s outstretched hand.<\/p>\n

Roy removed the purloined valuables from the pockets of the overcoat and placed them inside the safe, set behind his desk, up against the wall.\u00a0\u00a0 The overcoat was carefully folded and placed in the bottom drawer on the left side of his desk.\u00a0\u00a0 That done, he reached for his hat and gun belt.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d better mosey on down t\u2019 where the thief made his escape,\u201d the sheriff said, as he placed the gun belt around his waist.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSomeone there might\u2019ve seen him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no possible way anyone could have MISSED seeing him,\u201d Adam said in a wry tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cMissed seeing what?\u201d\u00a0 It was Joe, with his bother, Hoss, and the O\u2019Hanlans in tow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m only gonna say it was a real sorry sight, Joseph . . . and let it go at that,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry sight is right, Pa,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve seen meatier back sides on our beef cattle.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that, Teresa burst out laughing uproariously, unable to contain herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it!\u00a0\u00a0 OUT!!!\u201d Ben roared, ushering his own family and the O\u2019Hanlans unceremoniously out onto the street.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

After leaving the sheriff\u2019s office, Hoss drove Adam and Teresa to Doctor Martin\u2019s office in the buggy, leaving Ben, Joe, and Stacy to console the downcast O\u2019Hanlans.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I guess that music box is gone forever,\u201d Molly sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 Her blue eyes glistened with unshed tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Molly,\u201d Stacy said, placing a sympathetic hand on her friend\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 She more than anyone else in her family knew how hard Molly and Frankie had both worked and scrimped to get that money together.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all my fault,\u201d Frankie said dejectedly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry I was so careless, Molly.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll save up the money and get us a new one, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt . . . it took BOTH of us almost a whole y-year to save up f-for that music box,\u201d Molly said dejectedly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll never get it t-together by . . . by the Wedding . . . d-day after t-tomorrow . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can give it to your sister and her husband belatedly, after Frankie gets the money together,\u201d Ben said gently.<\/p>\n

Molly nodded, unable to speak.\u00a0\u00a0 One minute, she was absolutely furious, wanting more than anything to throttle the living horse hockey out of her brother, the next, she felt overwhelmed with despair.<\/p>\n

Joe, meanwhile, walked over the equally disconsolate Frankie, and placed a comforting hand the younger man\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie, I\u2019ve done the same thing myself a time or two,\u201d he said kindly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEveryone has.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so,\u201d Frankie said dejectedly, \u201cbut, I seem do it all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, is there ANYTHING I can do?\u201d Stacy asked, feeling on the edge of tears herself.<\/p>\n

Molly dolefully shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, if it\u2019s a matter of money, I can loan you whatever you need to purchase a new music box,\u201d Ben offered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie can pay me back over time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTh-thank you for your offer, M-Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly sobbed.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy immediately placed a comforting arm around her distraught friend\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, the g-g-general store would have to order another a-anyway . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one I lost took almost four months to get here,\u201d Frankie added despondently, \u201cand that was with fairly good weather between here and New York City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFour months?\u201d Ben echoed, looking over at Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought Colleen and Matt had only . . . well, had only been engaged for ONE month.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly and I figured sooner or later ONE of those engagements was gonna finally stick,\u201d Frankie said, \u201cwe had no idea when or where, of course . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe planned to hold it in escrow until Colleen and Matt had an engagement that actually went all the way to a wedding,\u201d Molly said in a small voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know . . . it\u2019s sure taken long enough, hasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe path of true love never runs smooth,\u201d Ben said kindly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s an old saying, Molly, with a lot of truth in it.\u00a0\u00a0 It especially applies to putting the wedding together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Cartwright, that was very diplomatic of you,\u201d Molly said, smiling in spite of her misery.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you and I\u2019d better get on home,\u201d Frankie sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I don\u2019t see you before, I . . . I guess I\u2019ll see you at the w-wedding,\u201d Molly said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, and you, too, Frankie . . . . if things get too tense at home, with the wedding preparations \u2018n all . . . you\u2019re more than welcome to come out to the Ponderosa for sanctuary,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Ben said immediately, knowing full well that Myrna O\u2019Hanlan tended to be high strung and vaporous even at the best of times.\u00a0 The stress of all the final preparations as the hours and minutes ticked down to the day of her eldest daughter\u2019s Wedding of the Century would be a far cry from the best of times.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Stacy . . . you, too, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly said gratefully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie and I may just take you up on that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we come NOW?\u201d Frankie asked hopefully, \u201cand stay until the wedding\u2019s OVER?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, they have company,\u201d Molly said, \u201cand besides, Pa AND Colleen would skin the two of us ALIVE if we left them alone to face Ma.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour pa and older sister are welcome, too,\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Molly said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI . . . guess Frankie and I better get home before Ma badgers Sheriff Coffee into getting a posse together to look for us.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I wish there was SOMETHING we could do,\u201d Stacy said dejectedly, after the O\u2019Hanlans had left.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMolly and Frankie worked so hard getting that money together . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish there was something we could do, too,\u201d Ben said sympathetically.\u00a0\u00a0 He placed a comforting arm around Stacy\u2019s shoulders as they turned and walked toward the buckboard.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure things will work themselves out . . . somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know that music box has to be in this town SOMEWHERE,\u201d Joe remarked casually, drawing a sharp glances from his father and sister.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph . . . . \u201d Ben shot his youngest son a warning glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0 All I said was . . . that music box has to be in this town somewhere,\u201d Joe said, all innocence.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d Ben prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat and?\u201d Joe demanded, shrugging his shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGeeze loo-weeze, Pa, can\u2019t a guy remark on the obvious without falling under heavy suspicion?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou SURE that\u2019s all you were doing?\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n

Joe stared back at his father, the too perfect picture of wide-eyed innocence.<\/p>\n

Ben had his doubts, but decided to let the matter drop for the time being.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll right, let\u2019s go home,\u201d he sighed, \u201cand Joseph, YOU are going to get right into the tub.\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re beginning to smell like a brewery.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Adam, the good news is your nose is NOT broken,\u201d Doctor Paul Martin reported after a thorough and exhaustive exam.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and the BAD news?\u201d Adam ventured, mentally bracing himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s going to remain twice its normal size for the next day or so, I\u2019m afraid,\u201d the doctor replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cONLY twice its normal size?\u201d Adam queried sardonically, with eyebrow slightly upraised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAfter all that poking and prodding, I\u2019m frankly surprised it\u2019s not three or four times its normal size.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny, Adam,\u201d Paul chuckled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnyone ever tell you that you\u2019re as bad as your YOUNGEST brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam favored the sawbones with a withering, jaundiced glare while his wife and younger, bigger brother chortled and guffawed behind him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDoctor, if you make it a regular practice to insult your patients, then your bedside manner leaves a heckuva lot to be desired,\u201d he retorted.<\/p>\n

Teresa exhaled a long, slow sigh of relief.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank goodness,\u201d she murmured softly.<\/p>\n

Adam turned and favored his wife with a look that questioned her very sanity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank goodness?!\u201d he echoed, perplexed and bewildered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeeing you engage the doctor in a bit of verbal jousting just now tells me that you didn\u2019t suffer any kind of serious brain damage,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s that Cartwright hard head,\u201d Paul retorted with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ve ALL got it!\u00a0\u00a0 Ben, of course, is the absolute WORST . . . but I digress.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam, the swelling in your nose WILL go down significantly in about a day or two . . . three at the very outside, as I just said.\u00a0\u00a0 However, the bruising won\u2019t fade at least a good two, two and a half weeks . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up at the doctor, his eyes round with horror.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBruising?!\u00a0\u00a0 Oh no!\u201d he groaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDoctor Martin . . . please . . . tell me you\u2019re joking?!\u00a0\u00a0 Pretty please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Adam . . . I wish I WAS joking, but I\u2019m not.\u00a0\u00a0 YOU are going to be sporting a pair of real shiners, come tomorrow morning, if not sooner,\u201d the doctor said, trying his best not to smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn fact, I can see the first swatches of color now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat!\u00a0\u00a0 There I\u2019ll be, the best man at The Wedding of the Century sporting a pair of big, bright, black and blue shiners!\u201d Adam groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cAn ice pack will help some with the swelling, and I have medication for the pain,\u201d Paul said, not with out some feeling of sympathy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe rest . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shrugged helplessly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m afraid nature\u2019s going to have to take her course . . . in her own good time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA judicious application of cosmetics should cover up most of the problem,\u201d Teresa said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t stand under very close scrutiny, of course, but from a distance, no one\u2019ll know the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor counted out three yellow pills and placed them into a glass container.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTake one tonight, at bed time,\u201d he ordered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf needed you can take one tomorrow after breakfast and the other again at bed time tomorrow night.\u00a0\u00a0 Apply ice packs as needed for the swelling, and you might want to see what Hop Sing might have in the way of . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . ONLY if it\u2019s absolutely necessary!\u201d Adam said very quickly.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Hoss, meanwhile, sat in the doctor\u2019s parlor,\u00a0 waiting for his older brother and sister-in-law.\u00a0\u00a0 As he sat, lightly napping, he had vague awareness of the front door in the vestibule beyond opening and closing.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he\u2019s here,\u201d Lily Martin said politely.\u00a0\u00a0 A few moments later, she hesitantly tapped him on the shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh . . . sorry, Mrs. Martin,\u201d Hoss said, feeling slightly groggy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI must\u2019ve dozed off . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, Apollo Nikolas is waiting out in the vestibule,\u201d Lilly said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe wants to see YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

A puzzled frown knotted Hoss\u2019 brow.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAny idea what it\u2019s about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lily shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Mrs. Martin,\u201d Hoss rose and stretched.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go see what he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll let you know when the doctor is finished with your brother and sister-in-law,\u201d she promised.<\/p>\n

Hoss found Apollo Nikolas waiting next to the front door, with sailor\u2019s hat in both hands, looking for all the world like a frightened schoolboy, hopelessly lost.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, please,\u201d Apollo begged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou have to help me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo, what\u2019s this all about?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019re the only person I can turn to!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The words poured out of him like a rushing torrent.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve to GOT to help us!\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried and tried and tried to think of something, but . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo shrugged helplessly, and shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo, you ain\u2019t makin\u2019 a lick o\u2019 sense,\u201d Hoss said, a puzzled frown knotting his brow.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean I gotta help ya?\u00a0\u00a0 Help ya with what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI LOVE her, Hoss!\u201d Apollo said earnestly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe loves me!\u00a0\u00a0 She can\u2019t go through with this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe WHO?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe doesn\u2019t love Matt, she loves ME,\u201d Apollo said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI love HER.\u00a0\u00a0 We have to stop this wedding somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just a dadburn minute, Apollo,\u201d Hoss said sternly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you think you c\u2019n just show up outta the clear blue one day after bein\u2019 away f\u2019r nigh on ten years an\u2019 expect t\u2019 pick up right where y\u2019 left off . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen DOES love me, Hoss!\u00a0\u00a0 She does,\u201d Apollo passionately maintained his position, \u201cand I love her.\u00a0\u00a0 I . . . I\u2019ll swear on a stack of Bibles if y\u2019 want me to . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Colleen tell you she loves you?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes!\u00a0\u00a0 With her own beautiful, honey sweet, wonderful lips, I long to kiss just thinking . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA simple yes would\u2019ve done,\u201d Hoss said stiffly, as two bright splotches of color appeared on his cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Apollo murmured contritely, his own face reddening.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Apollo . . . I know you \u2018n Colleen were close \u2018n all \u2018fore you put out to sea, but it\u2019s been nearly TEN YEARS,\u201d Hoss pointed out, feeling suddenly like a drowning man helplessly caught in the swift currents of a flash flood.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, would you please . . . just listen to me?\u201d Apollo begged.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright, Apollo, on one condition,\u201d he said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou slow down \u2018n tell me from the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo nodded and took a deep breath.\u00a0\u00a0 He told Hoss of meeting Colleen at her special place, and of all that had transpired.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow, with everything arranged, bought and paid for . . . she feels obligated to go through with it, unless I can come up with . . . something,\u201d he finished mournfully.<\/p>\n

Hoss was forced to admit, albeit very reluctantly, that everything Apollo had just told him made perfect sense.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Hoss, you\u2019ve got to help me,\u201d Apollo begged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHelp US . . . Colleen and me!\u00a0\u00a0 Maybe between you \u2018n me, we can figure out something.\u201d<\/p>\n

Memories of George rose to the forefront of Hoss\u2019 thoughts.\u00a0\u00a0 George was an abandoned pup he had found alone and shivering in the rain back when he was six, maybe seven years old.\u00a0\u00a0 The big brown eyes, round with fear, and the loneliness in the pup\u2019s near frantic whimpering wrenched his heart then, as the look of pure misery on Apollo\u2019s face did now.\u00a0\u00a0 Furthermore, the romantic within him somehow couldn\u2019t bear the thought of poor Colleen entering into a loveless marriage to satisfy the dictates of propriety, pocketbook, and her domineering mother.<\/p>\n

Hoss took a moment to bid a fond adieu to the two hundred dollars he had hoped to win from the twenty-dollar bet he had placed on the wedding between Matt and Colleen happening as scheduled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOK, Apollo,\u201d he said, \u201chow \u2018bout I meet you at the Silver Dollar tonight at around nine.\u00a0\u00a0 Between now \u2018n then, we can give the matter some thought \u2018n see what we come up with.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Hoss,\u201d Apollo said gratefully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you, thank you, thank you!\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen and I\u2019ll name our first born after you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter make sure it\u2019s a BOY first, Apollo,\u201d Hoss said with an amused grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEric Hoss\u2019d be a mighty peculiar name for a li\u2019l gal.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee stepped up to the bar at the Silver Dollar all but consumed with frustration, anger, and despair.\u00a0\u00a0 Earlier that afternoon, he thought sure he had at long last, FINALLY, gotten a break in the ongoing investigation of the man dubbed by the Territorial Enterprise as the Robber Baron of Virginia City.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy and Adam Cartwright tangled with him, even recovered loot he had stolen from folks earlier on.\u00a0\u00a0 Best of all, Stacy was able to given him a description.\u00a0\u00a0 Granted, it wasn\u2019t very much, just the description of the thief from the back as he made his escape, but still, it was SOMETHING.<\/p>\n

Roy had left his office, and gone immediately to the place where Adam and Stacy had their encounter with the thief, full of optimism and high hopes.\u00a0\u00a0 After all, as Adam had so dutifully pointed out, no one could have possibly missed seeing a man fleeing through the streets of Virginia City butt naked.<\/p>\n

Roy\u2019s hopes were cruelly dashed within the first few minutes.\u00a0\u00a0 It seemed that the only thing every one agreed on was seeing a naked man run down the street, steal a horse tethered to the hitching post just outside the door of the International Hotel, and ride out of town.\u00a0\u00a0 Roy winced.\u00a0\u00a0 The thought of a naked man vigorously bumping up and down on a saddled horse trotting out of town was still enough to bring tears to his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Evenin\u2019, Roy,\u201d Sam, the bartender greeted the sheriff affably.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat can I getcha?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeer, Sam, no!\u00a0\u00a0 Make that whiskey,\u201d Roy said, \u201cand make that whiskey a double!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere y\u2019 are, Roy,\u201d Sam placed a bottle and a glass on the bar in front of the sheriff.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the best I got an\u2019 it\u2019s on the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Sam, I can\u2019t . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you can, Roy,\u201d Sam said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust consider it my way of sayin\u2019 thanks fer the job yer doin\u2019 \u2018round here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy managed a wan smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank YOU, Sam,\u201d he said, pouring himself a generous glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny time, Roy,\u201d Sam moved off to serve other customers.<\/p>\n

Sam\u2019s simple, thoughtful gesture raised his morale significantly, seeing as how it followed on the heels of a brutal hour and a half spent in his office with Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt, and a couple of councilmen, who also happened to be deacons at the good reverend\u2019s church, scathingly castigating him non-stop for what in the clergyman\u2019s opinion amounted to blundering incompetence and sheer ineptitude in failing to apprehend the thief.<\/p>\n

Roy picked up the glass and swallowed its contents in a single gulp.\u00a0\u00a0 As the ochre hued liquid burned its way down his throat, he all of a sudden realized that the thief\u2019s lack of clothing was a stroke of pure genius.\u00a0\u00a0 Every last one of the people he questioned remembered the naked man.\u00a0\u00a0 Apart from that, no two descriptions matched, whether it be of the man\u2019s face, footwear, what kind of horse he stole, or the direction he took when he presumably rode out of town.<\/p>\n

Clara Mudgely, the church organist, insisted that the man in question was older than Methuselah, with a beard that reached all the way to his navel, bushy eyebrows, and a full head of white hair that came clear to his shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 Eloise Kirk, on the other hand, stoutly maintained that he was a handsome young man, clean shaven, with the innocent face of a Botticelli angel.\u00a0\u00a0 The two ladies had almost come to blows over the disparities in their descriptions of the pickpocket right there in the middle of his office.\u00a0\u00a0 Clay Hansen, owner of a spread called Five Card Draw, said the man had a long thin face with a pug nose that had been broken at least once.\u00a0\u00a0 His wife insisted the man’s face was \u201c \u2018rounder than the moon when it\u2019s full,\u201d and that he had a very long, aristocratic nose.<\/p>\n

Those who alleged that the man had worn foot ware described everything from a pair of mismatched socks to the fanciest of cowboy boots with spurs.\u00a0\u00a0 One outraged matron stolidly maintained the Robber Baron of Virginia City wore a pair of woman\u2019s pink high heeled, high top button shoes.<\/p>\n

No two people gave the same description of the stolen horse, either.\u00a0\u00a0 People described everything from Joe Cartwright\u2019s paint to a non-descript black, roan or chestnut.\u00a0\u00a0 One person swore up and down the horse in question was an appaloosa.\u00a0\u00a0 Roy knew for absolute fact that NO one, either in Virginia City or on any of the surrounding ranches, owned an appaloosa.\u00a0\u00a0 None of the people he spoke to could recall which direction the man rode when he left town.<\/p>\n

\u201cSAM?\u00a0\u00a0 SAM!\u00a0\u00a0 WHAT\u2019S A FELLA TO DO ABOUT GETTING SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sound of Matt Wilson\u2019s voice, bewildered at first then almost strident with angry frustration, roused Roy Coffee from his gloomy musings.\u00a0\u00a0 He accurately discerned that the young man had attained the status of persona non-gratis at the Silver Dollar Saloon for breaking Clarissa Starling\u2019s heart one more time too many.\u00a0\u00a0 The infamous rivalry between Sally Tyler and Laurie Lee Bonner not withstanding, the folks who worked at the Silver Dollar saw themselves as family, and stood by each other accordingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSAM!\u201d Matt yelled at the top of his voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSAM?\u00a0\u00a0 LAURIE LEE?\u00a0\u00a0 LOTUS?\u00a0\u00a0 SALLY?\u00a0\u00a0 ANYBODY!\u00a0\u00a0 IF I DON\u2019T GET SOME SERVICE RIGHT NOW, I\u2019LL . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Roy reached out and placed a firm restraining hand on the younger man\u2019s shoulder, to keep the latter from vaulting over the bar.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMatt, to be perfectly frank, I think you\u2019d have better luck gettin\u2019 yourself served elsewhere,\u201d he said, not bothering to mince words.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Matt queried, giving the sheriff a bewildered stare.<\/p>\n

Roy rolled his eyes, and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cHere y\u2019 are, Matt,\u201d he shoved the remaining bottle of whiskey and glass in front of the young man.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCheers!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Sheriff Coffee,\u201d Matt accepted the proffered bottle and glass.\u00a0\u00a0 As he lifted the bottle to fill the glass, his eyes darted around the room, resolutely moving from face to face.<\/p>\n

Roy shook his head again.\u00a0\u00a0 If he didn\u2019t know for fact that Matt Wilson was getting himself hitched to Colleen O\u2019Hanlan day after tomorrow, he\u2019d almost swear the young man was looking for Clarissa Starling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou leavin\u2019, Roy?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Sam once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Roy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s been a long day, Sam.\u00a0\u00a0 A real long day!\u00a0\u00a0 All I wanna do now is go right home and turn in early.\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately, I promised the Widow Danvers I\u2019d have supper with HER tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam blanched.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019re meeting her some place very public, an\u2019 very crowded,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

Roy chucked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam, you make her sound like some kinda murderess, or something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t sure I\u2019d put it past her, Roy.\u00a0\u00a0 She had her matrimonial sights set on ME for a short time, before she found out I\u2019m a bartender.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shuddered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEvery time she\u2019d see me, she\u2019d look at me as if . . . as if I were something tasty to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what, Sam,\u201d Roy said, with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll leave word with Clem that if I ain\u2019t in my office at my usual time, he\u2019s t\u2019 send a search party after me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you take Matt Wilson with ya?\u201d Sam suggested, directing a withering glare in the groom-to-be\u2019s general direction.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s more than worn out his welcome HERE, and besides . . . if the Widow Danvers makes a move to bite you, or something, you can let her eat MATT.\u00a0\u00a0 I admit he\u2019s kinda scrawny, but he\u2019d still make a decent enough appetizer long enough for YOU to make your escape.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee heard the veiled hint loud and clear.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSam, I can well understand why you an\u2019 everyone else that works for ya here are mad at the guy,\u201d he said, not without a measure of sympathy, \u201cbut, it\u2019s a free country, and besides, his bachelor party\u2019s bein\u2019 held here tomorrow night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m doin\u2019 that for Ben and Adam Cartwright,\u201d Sam stated with an emphatic nod of his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNOT for Matt Wilson.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, but I expect you to behave yourself, Sam,\u201d Roy said sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and if Matt gives ME trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know where the Widow Danvers lives, AND y\u2019 know where I live,\u201d Roy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf Matt starts makin\u2019 trouble, you send someone to fetch me, alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam nodded, satisfied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cG\u2019 night, Roy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood night, Sam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll cost ya four bucks, Mister Wilson,\u201d Sam turned on Matt, after the sheriff had left.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI SAID that\u2019ll be four bucks!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cB-but, you told Sheriff C-Coffee . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor SHERIFF COFFEE, it was the house,\u201d Sam said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFor YOU, it\u2019s four bucks.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He extended a beefy hand, palm up for emphasis.<\/p>\n

Matt dug into his pocket, with a curt sigh of exasperation, and pulled out four silver\u00a0 dollars.\u00a0\u00a0 He slapped them down on the counter, then lifted the bottle to his lips and took a big swallow of the remaining liquid contents.\u00a0\u00a0 Sam picked up the money and pocketed it before moving to the far end of the bar to serve a couple of customers gathered there, much to Matt\u2019s great relief.\u00a0\u00a0 The bartender seemed to be mad at him about something, but for the life of him, he simply could not figure out what that something was.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Evenin\u2019, Jack,\u201d Sam greeted Jack Hurley with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned to the tall, muscular man standing beside the thin, wiry farmer.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell bless my soul!\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019d heard you\u2019d come home from the sea, Apollo.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The bartender smiled broadly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWelcome home!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d Apollo said listlessly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI may not be stayin\u2019 long . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 A puzzled frown knotted Sam\u2019s brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo beers, if you please, Sam,\u201d Jack said quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTonight, the man\u2019s drownin\u2019 his sorrows.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam well remembered the days when Colleen O\u2019Hanlan and Apollo Nikolas were a lot younger and very much in love.\u00a0\u00a0 Word had it that Apollo still carried the torch for the fair Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI understand.\u00a0 Two beers comin\u2019 right up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood evening, Boys.\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019ll ya have?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Clarissa Starling, addressing four middle aged, men seated at a round table about ten feet from the bar.\u00a0\u00a0 All four of them smoked hand rolled Havana cigars, special ordered, and were nattily attired in three piece suits, custom tailored by the exacting fit.<\/p>\n

Matt Wilson glanced up sharply.\u00a0\u00a0 The sudden movement of his head combined with the effects of almost an entire bottle of whiskey caused him to loose balance.\u00a0\u00a0 He toppled to the floor with a hard thud.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCuh-Cuh-Clarissa?!?\u201d<\/p>\n

Clarissa froze, her face an odd mixture of stupefying astonishment, outrage, and a terrible sadness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta talk, Clarissa,\u201d Matt said, scrambling ungracefully to his feet.<\/p>\n

Clarissa was too shocked even to reply.<\/p>\n

Mistaking her silence for acquiescence, Matt took her by the forearm and started for a secluded table on the other side of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatthew Wilson, you unhand me right now this instant!\u201d Clarissa demanded, as outrage gained the upper hand over shock.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Clarissa . . . gotta s\u2019plain something! \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re getting hitched to Colleen O\u2019Hanlan the day after tomorrow,\u201d she rounded on him furiously, on the edge of tears.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s left to explain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Clarissa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMatt, if you don\u2019t let go of me, I\u2019m gonna scream.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa Starling, I\u2019ve got somethin\u2019 t\u2019 say to you,\u201d Matt said in a commanding, authoritative tone of voice, \u201cand by golly, y\u2019r gonna listen, if I have ta— \u201d<\/p>\n

Clarissa opened her mouth and screamed at the top of her lungs, drawing the attention of the vast majority of patrons.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe the lady\u2019s made it perfectly clear that your attentions are not welcome,\u201d a terse masculine voice came from behind.<\/p>\n

Matt glanced up and saw Apollo Nikolas standing behind Clarissa, with a black, angry scowl on his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis is none o\u2019 yur business, Apollo,\u201d he declared.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s where you\u2019re wrong, Matt,\u201d Apollo\u2019s quiet, calm tone was at complete odds with the murderous scowl on his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis is every bit my business.\u201d<\/p>\n

Matt let go of Clarissa and followed through with a hard right cross in the same swift movement.<\/p>\n

Apollo moved, impelled by instinct honed through years of bar room brawling in distant ports of call, barely dodging the intended blow.\u00a0\u00a0 He immediately followed up with a powerful left hook, slamming his fist hard into Matt\u2019s jaw.\u00a0\u00a0 Matt fell backwards, crashing into the bar before collapsing back down onto the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, uh . . . Miss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStarling,\u201d she said in a very small, very sad voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa Starling.\u00a0\u00a0 YOU must be Sir Galahad.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHardly that, Miss Starling . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease call me Clarissa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy name\u2019s Apollo Nikolas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for coming to my rescue, Apollo,\u201d Clarissa said with a sad smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan I show my appreciation by buying you a drink?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf things were different, I . . . I know I\u2019d take you up on your kind offer, Dear Lady,\u201d Apollo said dolefully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs things stand now, I\u2019d be comin\u2019 after you on the rebound.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s not fair to a . . . to a real nice lady like you . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Clarissa felt the sting of tears in her eyes, as she watched Apollo shamble back across the room to where his brother-in-law stood at the bar.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/em> she asked in agonized silence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy are all the decent ones always in love with someone else?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Matt Wilson, meanwhile, opened his eyes and found himself staring up into the enraged face of the Silver Dollar\u2019s bartender.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Wilson, seein\u2019 as how you\u2019re so hell bent on stirrin\u2019 up trouble, I\u2019m gonna have to ask you to leave,\u201d Sam declared in a tone that brooked no argument.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI SAID I\u2019m gonna have to ask you to leave,\u201d Sam said once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I didn\u2019t . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw what went on betwixt you \u2018n Apollo Nikolas,\u201d Sam said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you don\u2019t haul that sorry patoot o\u2019 yours off the floor \u2018n outta here, I\u2019m gonna send for Sheriff Coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn what charge?\u201d Matt demanded, his own anger rising.<\/p>\n

\u201cStirrin\u2019 up trouble,\u201d Sam maintained stubbornly, with arms folded across his broad chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, ok, I\u2019m goin\u2019,\u201d Matt acquiesced sullenly, all the while wondering what burr had suddenly crawled up under Sam\u2019s saddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t let the doors bang your butt on your way out,\u201d Sam called after him.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe Cartwright entered the Silver Dollar Saloon together.\u00a0\u00a0 The youngest of the Cartwright brothers scanned the faces among the gathered crowd, obviously in search of someone.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss simply stared straight ahead,\u00a0 his eyes seeing nothing, his thoughts many miles away.\u00a0\u00a0 A sudden collision with a patron leaving the Silver Dollar rudely jolted his thoughts and attention back to the here and now.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa Big Lummox, why don\u2019tcha watch were you\u2019re walking?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Matt Wilson.\u00a0\u00a0 His eyes were glassy, and his speech slurred.<\/p>\n

Joe stared at the groom-to-be in a state of shock.\u00a0\u00a0 As his initial surprise gave way to righteous indignation, he opened his mouth to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Matt,\u201d Hoss apologized quickly, before Joe could utter a word.\u00a0\u00a0 His younger brother stared over at him in open, incredulous amazement.<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, forget it,\u201d Matt muttered, weaving his way down the sidewalk.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe this!\u201d Joe sputtered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve heard of rude, but he\u2019s just gone above and beyond!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForget it, Baby Brother,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s probably suffering a real bad case o\u2019 the weddin\u2019 day jitters right about now . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glared at Matt Wilson\u2019s retreating form for a long moment, then shrugged.<\/p>\n

Hoss ambled over to the bar, his thoughts once more focusing on the dilemma facing Apollo Nikolas and Colleen O\u2019Hanlan.\u00a0\u00a0 From the time he had finally left Doc Martin\u2019s office with Adam and Teresa until the end of the supper meal, he had wracked his brain desperately seeking a solution, to the exclusion of everyONE and everyTHING around him . . . .<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d his father had queried anxiously, after every one left the supper table.\u00a0\u00a0 They were in the midst of moving the living room furniture from the middle of the room, over to the side.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy and Teresa cleared the table, while Hop Sing washed the dishes in the kitchen.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou feeling alright?\u201d Ben asked.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou hardly touched your supper . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t hungry tonight, Pa.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

For one brief terrifying moment, Hoss had half feared his father was going to faint.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cW-we had pork chops tonight . . . your favorite,\u201d Ben finally stammered the minute he found his voice.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t sick, Pa,\u201d Hoss hastened to reassure.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a little worried \u2018bout Apollo \u2019s all.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He was greatly relieved to see the muscles in his father\u2019s face relax.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d heard that Apollo\u2019s still carrying the torch for Colleen,\u201d Ben said quietly.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI told Apollo I\u2019d meet \u2018im at the Silver Dollar tonight.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, by all means,\u201d Ben had readily agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019d do Apollo a world of good to spend an evening with an old friend . . . maybe talk, have a few beers . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Joe interjected quickly, without missing a beat, \u201cHoss and I BOTH promised we\u2019d meet Apollo this evening.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe did?!\u201d Hoss said, favoring his younger brother with a look of complete and utter bewilderment.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe sure did, Big Brother,\u201d Joe said smoothly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben looked over at his youngest son, openly skeptical.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cRight, Hoss?\u201d Joe prompted.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c . . . . uuhhh, right!\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, Pa . . . that\u2019s right . . . . \u201d Hoss stammered after Joe had cued him with a sharp elbow jab to the rib cage.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben focused that all-knowing-all-seeing glare on Hoss for what seemed an eternity.\u00a0\u00a0 In the end, their father had elected not to pursue the matter.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHave a good time, Boys, and stay out of trouble . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Something, either in the words or tone of voice, told Hoss the subject was far from closed, however . . . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hoss, what can I get for ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeer, Sam,\u201d Hoss replied dolefully, his thoughts returning to the present.\u00a0\u00a0 He glanced around the room for his younger brother, but saw neither hide nor hair of him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhatever scheme HE\u2019S got cookin\u2019, I\u2019m stayin\u2019 well out of it!\u201d<\/em> he vowed silently.<\/p>\n

Joe Cartwright, meanwhile, made his way unobtrusively toward the back door of the saloon, with head down and hat pulled low over his eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 Upon reaching the back door, he paused with hand firmly on the doorknob, and glanced over the sea of faces gathered in the saloon tonight.\u00a0\u00a0 He noted with satisfaction that Hoss stood at the far end of the bar, closest to the front door, talking with Sam.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe averted his gaze to the floor again, before noiselessly opening the door and stepping into the alley beyond.<\/p>\n

Closing the back door behind him, Joe slowly exhaled the breath he had been holding.\u00a0\u00a0 He half feared that Hoss would see him leave and begin asking questions.\u00a0\u00a0 Although he knew his big brother was trustworthy, he also knew Hoss was transparently honest.\u00a0\u00a0 The big guy, quite frankly, couldn\u2019t even tell the pure truth sometimes without looking incredibly guilty, especially when their father asked the questions.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe knew beyond any shadow of doubt there would be questions when he and Hoss returned home.\u00a0\u00a0 The less Hoss knew about his plans right now, the better.<\/p>\n

Sam, meanwhile, came and placed a mug of cold beer in front of Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cSam,\u201d Hoss asked, \u201cis Apollo Nikolas here by any chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOver there, with his brother-in-law,\u201d Sam nodded his head toward the opposite end of the bar, where Jack Hurley and Apollo Nikolas stood together, side-by-side.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss picked up his mug of beer and walked over toward Apollo and his brother-in-law.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c \u2018Evenin\u2019, Apollo . . . \u2018evenin\u2019, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hoss, I haven\u2019t seen ya in a dog\u2019s age,\u201d Jack smiled and greeted him warmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019ve you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Jack, just fine,\u201d Hoss replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow \u2018bout you, Athena, an\u2019 the young \u2018ns?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re all fine,\u201d Jack replied.\u00a0\u00a0 The warmth and smile faded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHarlan\u2019s got himself a gal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grinned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . . \u201d Jack sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Jack?\u00a0\u00a0 You sure don\u2019t sound too happy \u2018bout it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d be dancing through the streets of Virginia City with joy,\u201d Jack said dolefully, \u201cif the gal in question were anybody BUT Pruella Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella Danvers?\u201d Hoss echoed incredulously. \u00a0\u00a0He grimaced, as if he had just eaten something incredibly sour.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPruella Danvers?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Jack shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat could Harlan, or any other fella f\u2019r that matter, possibly see in Pruella Danvers?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can tell you what I<\/strong> see in that gal, Hoss,\u201d Jack said grimly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI see a greedy li\u2019l gussie, always after Harlan to buy her expensive doo-dads with money he don\u2019t have.\u00a0\u00a0 That gal \u2018n her ma both are a couple o\u2019 phonies, struttin\u2019 around, puttin\u2019 on fancy-schmancy airs, playin\u2019 rich.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He sighed and shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cT\u2019 give credit where it\u2019s due, though, Athena saw all that in \u2018em long b\u2019fore I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy sister\u2019s ALWAYS been a shrewd judge of character,\u201d Apollo said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat she has,\u201d Jack agreed with a proud smile, \u201cthat she has.\u00a0\u00a0 Well, speaking of Athena, I DID promise her I\u2019d be home early . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mind if I stay and spend some time with Hoss?\u201d Apollo asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019M the one who promised to be home early tonight, Apollo, not you,\u201d Jack said with a grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou \u2018n Hoss enjoy yourselves.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll let Athena know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Jack,\u201d Apollo said with a grateful smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSee you at home later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cG\u2019night, Jack,\u201d Hoss called after Apollo\u2019s brother-in-law.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood talkin\u2019 with ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Night, Hoss . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Hoss?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo pounced the minute his brother-in-law had moved out of earshot.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWere you able to come up with any ideas?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a dadburn thing!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss shook his head dolefully.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow \u2018bout YOU, Apollo?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cRefills, Gentlemen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGimme another beer, Sam,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMake mine whiskey this time,\u201d Apollo sighed gloomily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA bottle with glass.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSam, make that a just GLASS o\u2019 whiskey,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, what\u2019re you doing?\u201d Apollo demanded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think NOW\u2019S the time to start drowning my sorrows, if it\u2019s all the same t\u2019 you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t you jumpin\u2019 the gun by a wee bit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, we got \u2018til Saturday t\u2019 come up with somethin\u2019,\u201d Hoss said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know it ain\u2019t much, but it\u2019s still a whole day \u2018n a half yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll never come up with anything in that short a time,\u201d Apollo protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s gonna be for dadburn sure if \u2018n y\u2019 start drinkin\u2019 whole bottles o\u2019 whiskey like it was water,\u201d Hoss hastened to point out.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOn the other hand, if \u2018n the two o\u2019 us can keep ourselves half way sober . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, it\u2019s no use!\u201d Apollo said exasperation mixing with grief.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s always the obvious solution.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat obvious solution is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou \u2018n Colleen can always run off \u2018n elope.\u00a0\u00a0 You sure wouldn\u2019t be the first, \u2018n I doubt you\u2019d be t\u2019 last.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen won\u2019t even consider it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave y\u2019 ASKED her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I have,\u201d Apollo said bitterly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cColleen told me that if we can\u2019t figure something out, she\u2019s gonna feel obligated to go through with this . . . this damned Wedding of the Century.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss lapsed into melancholy silence.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Outside, Cochise nickered affectionately as Joe approached the hitching post on the street right in front of the Silver Dollar Saloon.\u00a0\u00a0 His eyes, round with alarm, darted up beyond the swinging doors to the bar just beyond.\u00a0\u00a0 Thankfully, Hoss had joined Apollo and his brother-in-law, Jack, at the other end of the bar.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank goodness,\u201d Joe whispered aloud, as he exhaled a long sigh of relief.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEasy, Cooch, we gotta keep it quiet . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Joe quickly untethered Cochise, and slowly led him away from the post and the other horses tethered there.\u00a0\u00a0 Once he was satisfied that he and his horse were far enough away from the potential hearing ears of the saloon patrons, Joe climbed on Cochise\u2019s back and rode off in the direction of Blood Alley, and the home of Lotus O\u2019Toole.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood evening, Joe,\u201d Lotus greeted him with a wan smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPlease come in.\u201d<\/p>\n

The room within was bare, save for a wood table with four chairs, a small oval rug that Lotus had spent the better part of a year crafting in what little spare time she had, and the framed photograph of her parents sitting on the mantle.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe silently followed Lotus over to the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cCoffee?\u201d Lotus offered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have some ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, thank you,\u201d Joe nodded, taking a seat at the table.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI see you and Timmy have gotten yourselves settled in.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He glanced up, his hazel eyes meeting her dark ones.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou work fast!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t have much to unpack,\u201d Lotus said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 She grabbed a towel and removed the coffee pot from its spot over the low fire burning in the fireplace.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . thought you were going to move . . . well, somewhere closer to the school,\u201d Joe said, glancing about the room in dismay, \u201cseein\u2019 as how Timmy\u2019ll be starting first grade in the fall.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is all I can afford,\u201d she said, returning to the table with coffee pot in hand.\u00a0\u00a0 She picked up one of three clean mugs on the table and filled it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat can\u2019t be, Lotus,\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0\u00a0 He accepted the mug, taking hold of it in both hands.\u00a0\u00a0 He blew on the hot liquid, then took a ginger sip from the mug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs I recall, there were two fine houses near the school.\u00a0\u00a0 One was almost next-door.\u00a0\u00a0 When we looked at \u2018em, the real estate man said it would only be twenty a month for the first, twenty-FIVE for the second.\u00a0\u00a0 I thought you COULD afford that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe real estate man came to see me at the Silver Dollar later that night, Joe,\u201d Lotus said with a touch of rancor.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe told me that some emergency expenses had come up, of which he wasn\u2019t aware when he showed US those houses.\u00a0\u00a0 Instead of twenty dollars on the one and twenty-five on the other, the rent suddenly rose to one hundred dollars a month . . . on both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s outrageous!\u201d Joe declared, his face darkening with anger. \u00a0\u00a0\u201cDid he say what the exact nature of those expenses are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you know as well as I do what the exact nature of those expenses are,\u201d Lotus said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy mother was Chinese, I have a fine strapping son but no husband, and I work in a saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not right!\u201d Joe muttered through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the way things are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got half a mind to— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, don\u2019t!\u201d Lotus said sternly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou raising a fuss could get Timmy and me thrown out of HERE.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat overseer\u2019s cottage on the Ponderosa\u2019s available,\u201d Joe said, \u201crent FREE.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lotus shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJoe, we\u2019ve been over that ground time and time again,\u201d she said in a firm tone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve paid my way in this world since I was fifteen years old.\u00a0\u00a0 I expect to continue paying my way until I draw my last breath.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLotus, you and I\u2019ve been friends \u2018way too long for you to be spouting that kind of nonsense,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I will not accept charity, in any way, shape, or form, no matter how well intentioned . . . especially from a friend,\u201d Lotus said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou may consider the subject closed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor now,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeriod!\u201d Lotus countered with an emphatic nod of her head.\u00a0\u00a0 She and Joe glared at each other for a long moment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo, do you want to know about that music box, or not?\u201d she queried finally.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d forgotten about that,\u201d Joe said contritely, managing a wan half smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa Starling has it in her room at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lotus nodded with a smug grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you find out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy!\u00a0\u00a0 I asked her,\u201d Lotus said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe was bragging about it to anyone who would listen.\u00a0\u00a0 I figured she\u2019d tell me too, if I posed as a willing listener.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s pretty brazen!\u201d Joe said gazing over at her with a look of profound respect.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen are you planning to get the music box back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was thinking of stopping in to get it while the bachelor party\u2019s going on,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa and my older brothers won\u2019t be at home to ask me a lot of questions I\u2019d rather not answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll have to do,\u201d Lotus said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust promise me that you won\u2019t come before then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Joe agreed with a shrug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAny particular reason why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSally Tyler\u2019s been working on Clarissa, trying to convince her to do the right thing on her own,\u201d Lotus explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo far, Sally\u2019s pleas have fallen on deaf ears, but I\u2019d like to give Sally time to make her case.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She fell silent for a moment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJoe, Clarissa was really devastated when Matt went back with Colleen this time.\u00a0\u00a0 The two of them were talking about a wedding of their own.\u00a0\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m not making excuses for her.\u00a0\u00a0 I just want you to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try, Lotus,\u201d Joe promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI just hope YOU can understand where Molly and Frankie O\u2019Hanlan are coming from on this, too.\u00a0\u00a0 It took the two of \u2018em a whole year to save for that music box, and another four months for it to arrive overland from New York.\u00a0\u00a0 They\u2019re pretty devastated, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpecial gift for a sister they must love very much,\u201d Lotus said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat I can understand very well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s hoping Clarissa listens to Sally,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen to that!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cGood evenin\u2019 t\u2019 ya, Boys.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Mick O\u2019Flynn sauntered up to the bar, and took his place on the other side of Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 He silently studied Hoss and Apollo for a moment, then shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou fellas look low enough t\u2019 walk upright under t\u2019 belly of a rattler.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded and tipped his hat by way of greeting.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo \u2018n me . . . we\u2019ve gotta problem , Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d he sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA BIG problem!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly, a smile appeared on his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSay, Mister O\u2019Flynn, maybe ya c\u2019n help us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick shrugged.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI c\u2019n try, Hoss,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Sam came with Apollo Nikolas\u2019 glass of whiskey and placed it on the bar before him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c \u2018Evenin\u2019, Mister O\u2019Flynn.\u00a0\u00a0 Beer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you please,\u201d Mick nodded solemnly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother glass of whiskey for me, too, please,\u201d Apollo said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ain\u2019t drunk that, Apollo,\u201d Sam hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the time you come back with Mister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s beer I WILL have,\u201d Apollo said.<\/p>\n

Sam nodded and moved off.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow then, Boys, what\u2019s worryin\u2019 t\u2019 two o\u2019 YOU?\u201d Mick asked turning his attention back to Hoss and Apollo.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s like this, Mister O\u2019Flynn . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a young patron, wearing a white hat down low over his face, bumped into Mick O\u2019Flynn from behind.\u00a0\u00a0 Mick lost his balance and fell hard against the bar.\u00a0\u00a0 He groaned softly then crumpled to the floor.<\/p>\n

Apollo watched as the young man made his way to the door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat guy\u2019s sure walking funny,\u201d he remarked with a bewildered frown, \u201ckinda bowlegged almost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind him,\u201d Hoss said tersely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe need t\u2019 see t\u2019 Mister O\u2019Flynn here.\u00a0\u00a0 He could be hurt bad.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He and Apollo knelt down on either side of the fallen man.<\/p>\n

\u201cH-Hoss . . . . ?\u00a0\u00a0 Mister, uuhhh . . . Mister . . . .?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNikolas, Sir.\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo Nikolas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid t\u2019 pair o\u2019 ya know that y\u2019 were TWINS?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d better get \u2018im over to Doc Martin\u2019s fast,\u201d Apollo murmured, his dark eyes round with shocked horror.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t bother, Apollo.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Sam, the bartender.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c \u2018By nightfall, he\u2019s more often than not ALWAYS seein\u2019 double.\u00a0\u00a0 Just help him up to his feet, if you would.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Hoss nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 He took Mick O\u2019Flynn by the left shoulder, Apollo took him by the right.\u00a0\u00a0 Together, with ease, they lifted the elderly con man out from under the bar counter and stood him up between the two of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank y\u2019 kindly, Boys, I\u2019m very much obliged,\u201d Mick said with a lopsided smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re bettin\u2019 book fell outta your pocket, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d Hoss said as he bent down to retrieve it.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy accounting ledger, Hoss, please,\u201d Mick corrected him loftily.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright your accountin\u2019 ledger, then,\u201d Hoss muttered as he retrieved the black book lying open on the floor.\u00a0\u00a0 He stood up, then glanced down at the book lying open in his hands.<\/p>\n

Two entries caught his eye:<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty dollars the Wedding of Matt Wilson and Colleen O\u2019Hanlan will NOT take place.\u00a0\u00a0 Another twenty dollars that Colleen will take up with Apollo Nikolas and Matt will get back together with Clarissa Starling,\u201d Hoss read the entry in silence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSigned Joseph Francis Cartwright!\u201d<\/p>\n

The entry directly below came as a very stunning surprise.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOne dollar the Wedding of the Century will be . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss whistled and shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTalk about your long shots,\u201d he murmured.\u00a0\u00a0 Upon seeing the NAME of the person placing that particular bet, his jaw dropped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy Rose Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell whaddya know!\u201d Hoss slapped Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s accounting ledger closed.\u00a0\u00a0 A big smile spread slowly across his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy li\u2019l sister\u2019s a genius!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWha\u2019 was that?\u201d Mick demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019, Mister O\u2019Flynn, nothin\u2019 at all,\u201d Hoss said, handing the man his accounting ledger.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo, you come on with me.\u00a0\u00a0 We got us a few things t\u2019 talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll be fifty cents, Hoss,\u201d Sam the bartender said, placing a full mug of beer in front of Mick O\u2019Flynn.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo, yours is a buck fifty.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Apollo paid their bill, then retired, drinks in hand to a secluded table in the back of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn!\u00a0\u00a0 Mister O\u2019Flynn!\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn glanced up sharply from his place at the bar, near the entrance, in time to see Barney Murphy stepping lively past the swinging doors.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOver here, Barney,\u201d he called out, waving.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn, you\u2019ll never guess what?\u201d Barney said, stepping up to the bar.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it I\u2019ll never guess what, now?\u201d Mick asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee\u2019s going to be very busy this evening, very, very busy indeed,\u201d Barney reported with a big, almost triumphant grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u00a0\u00a0 Doin\u2019 what?\u201d Mick said.\u00a0\u00a0 He lifted the mug to his lips and finished the remaining beer.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s havin\u2019 supper with the Widow Danvers!\u201d Barney said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI heard him tellin\u2019 Sam before he left.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick shuddered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey ought to call that old battle axe the BLACK Widow Danvers,\u201d he said, feeling a pang of sorrow for the good sheriff of Virginia City.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw her when she invited the good sheriff to supper this mornin\u2019,\u201d Barney said, his eyes round with horror.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAch, Mister O\u2019Flynn, it was a horrible, blood curdlin\u2019 sight to behold it was!\u00a0\u00a0 The Widow Danvers was actually hidin\u2019 out in an alley lyin\u2019 in wait for the poor man, yes she was.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He paused, melodramatically.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe pounced on him, she did, fairly leapin\u2019 from the shadows like a stalkin\u2019 puma.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoly Mary Mother of God,\u201d Mick murmured, as he quickly crossed himself with trembling hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo the Widow Danvers has set her cap for Sheriff Coffee, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no,\u201d Barney shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI overheard her talkin\u2019 t\u2019 other day with Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn gasped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSaints preserve us,\u201d he muttered, crossing himself once again.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMay the Holy and Blessed Saints preserve us all!\u00a0\u00a0 If ever a deadly pair of harpies existed, there could be none deadlier that Myra Danvers and Myrna O\u2019Hanlan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems the Widow Danvers has set her cap for Ben Cartwright,\u201d Barney said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBEN CARTWRIGHT?!\u201d Mick cried out, as he turned to gaze upon his partner and prot\u00e9g\u00e9 through eyes round with astonishment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAgggh!\u00a0\u00a0 Get ON with ya!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the God\u2019s honest truth!\u201d Barney passionately declared.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter t\u2019 way Ben Cartwright ripped that schemin\u2019 harpy up one side \u2018n back down t\u2019 other?!\u201d Mick queried, shaking his head in utter disbelief.\u00a0\u00a0 He had heard at least a dozen versions of the tale, each more colorful, exhilarating, and bloodthirsty than the last.\u00a0\u00a0 What he wouldn\u2019t give to have been a fly on the wall that day . . . .<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Widow Danvers told Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan and the bank president\u2019s wife, too! . . . that Ben Cartwright was \u201cso-ooooo very masterful . . . . \u201d this last Barney delivered with a scathing impersonation of Myra Danvers voice that brought amused smiles from the men standing nearest him and Mick O\u2019Flynn at the bar, \u201c . . . with this . . . this . . . real sappy look on her face.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He grimaced.<\/p>\n

Mick groaned loudly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t say as I had much likin\u2019 for the LATE\u00a0 Mister High-\u2018n-Mighty Ben Cartwright, may t\u2019 poor man rest in peace, but no one . . . NO ONE . . . be he man, woman, child, or mule . . . deserves t\u2019 die so horrible a death!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen,\u201d Barney piously intoned.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut if t\u2019 good Widow Danvers has set her cap for Ben Cartwright . . . why in t\u2019 world is she takin\u2019 supper with Sheriff Coffee?\u201d Mick wondered aloud with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause Sheriff Coffee \u2018n Ben Cartwright are good friends, and have been for a long time,\u201d Barney replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI heard herself tell THAT to Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo . . . the Black Widow Spider\u2019s out t\u2019 pick the sheriff\u2019s brains for t\u2019 way t\u2019 Ben Cartwright\u2019s heart,\u201d Mick mused with a shudder.<\/p>\n

Barney nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 knowin\u2019 the good Widow Danvers as I do, she\u2019ll be havin\u2019 Sheriff Coffee for supper . . . as the main course.\u00a0\u00a0 May HE rest in peace, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Evenin\u2019, Mister O\u2019Flynn . . . Barney,\u201d Sam greeted both affably.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnother beer, Mister O\u2019Flynn?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, please,\u201d Mick answered, handing his empty mug back to the bartender.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you like, Barney?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeer, if you please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cComin\u2019 up,\u201d Sam moved off to fill their orders.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t understand you one bit, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d the younger man said, shaking his head in utter bewilderment.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s not to understand, Barney?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou feelin\u2019 sorry for Ben Cartwright now that he\u2019s got the Widow Danvers hot on his trail,\u201d Barney queried, looking over at his mentor as if the man had lost every ounce of good sense he may have ever possessed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d\u2019ve thought you\u2019d see it as him gettin\u2019 his comeuppance, especially after that incident with all them Chinese noodles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, the infamous Lo Mein Affair,\u201d Mick said, as Sam quietly served up their mugs of beer.<\/p>\n

Barney nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a lot of circumstantial evidence an\u2019 rumor, mind,\u201d Mick said, \u201cbut, not a shred of cold hard proof at all at all of ANY of the Cartwrights bein\u2019 directly connected to that fracas.\u00a0\u00a0 Even if there was NO one deserves havin\u2019 a gorgon like the Widow Danvers on his tail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMick?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn turned and saw Macon Fitzhugh standing directly behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI done brung ya m\u2019 church key,\u201d he said, placing it into Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s outstretched hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you, in the name o\u2019 free enterprisin\u2019 business folk such as m\u2019self,\u201d Mick said, accepting the key.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome along, Barney, m\u2019 boy!\u00a0\u00a0 You an\u2019 I have a lot o\u2019 work t\u2019 do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a moment, Mister O\u2019Flynn.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Sam.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019ll be a buck for the two beers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course . . . Hey!\u201d Mick gasped, as he fumbled through the back pocket of his pants.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMe wallet\u2019s gone!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to ask ya one question,\u201d Hoss said, as he and Apollo seated themselves at one of the more secluded tables lining the back wall of the public room.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you had the chance would YOU be willin\u2019 to take Matt Wilson\u2019s place as the groom day after t\u2019morrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d do it in a heartbeat, Hoss,\u201d Apollo declared passionately.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou suggesting we kidnap Matt and tie him up somewhere \u2018til the wedding\u2019s over?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly as a last resort,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was more thinkin\u2019 along the lines o\u2019 gettin\u2019 Matt Wilson \u2018n Clarissa Starling back together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo\u2019s face fell.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI . . . I\u2019m . . . afraid I put the kabosh on THAT idea,\u201d he sighed dolefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean, Apollo?\u201d Hoss asked, a bewildered frown knotting his brow.<\/p>\n

Apollo ruefully recounted what had transpired earlier between Matt and Clarissa, and his own part in things.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t necessarily a bad thing,\u201d Hoss said smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt tells me Matt must still care an awful lot about Clarissa, or else he wouldn\u2019t be here tryin\u2019 t\u2019 explain things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have a point there, Hoss,\u201d Apollo murmured thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 accordin\u2019 to the scuttlebutt goin\u2019 around, Matt \u2018n Clarissa were talkin\u2019 about their own weddin\u2019 b\u2019fore he an\u2019 Colleen got themselves back together,\u201d Hoss continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo how do we get Matt and CLARISSA back together?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what we gotta figure out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was afraid of that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it, Apollo . . . don\u2019t you DARE start losin\u2019 hope \u2018n getting\u2019 all weak in the knees NOW!\u00a0\u00a0 We can DO this, if \u2018n the two of us really put on our thinkin\u2019 caps.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cONE, two, three, ONE, two, three, ONE, two, three,\u201d Ben and Stacy chanted together in unison, as father led daughter through the basic steps of the waltz.\u00a0\u00a0 After supper, Ben and Hoss had moved the furniture from the center of the living room area, creating an ample dance floor.\u00a0\u00a0 Now Adam sat behind the desk, with an ice pack pressed to his nose, while Teresa perched on its edge, and watched the dancing lesson progress with interest.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery good, Stacy,\u201d Ben said with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow let\u2019s try it again WITHOUT you watching your feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWITHOUT watching my feet?\u201d Stacy gulped, not sure she was ready for this next step.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can do it, Stacy,\u201d Teresa said with an encouraging smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll you have to do is relax and follow my lead,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Pa, I\u2019ll try,\u201d Stacy said, not without trepidation.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just relax, and . . . ONE, two, three,\u201d Ben led her around the makeshift ballroom once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cONE, two, three,\u201d Stacy counted along with her father.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook up at me, not down at your feet,\u201d Ben urged her gently.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cONE, two, three, ONE, two three . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cONE, two, three,\u201d Stacy once again joined in the counting.\u00a0\u00a0 Within a short time, she began to relax in spite of herself, and follow Ben\u2019s lead.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Little Sister, I think you\u2019ve got it,\u201d Adam declared with a broad smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do?\u201d Stacy queried in genuine amazement.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you do,\u201d Ben affirmed with a proud smile.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned to his eldest.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Stacy\u2019s ready to try it with music,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDid I see a guitar case among your luggage?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you did, Pa,\u201d Adam said, removing the ice pack from his nose.\u00a0\u00a0 His nose was still red and swollen, causing his speech to be slightly nasal, and the blue-violet bruising around both eyes gave him the appearance of a masked raccoon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sit still, Adam,\u201d Teresa said rising.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019LL go get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa went up the stairs, and returned a few moments later with her husband\u2019s guitar, and several pages of sheet music.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you must be getting psychic as you approach middle age,\u201d she remarked with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis piece you\u2019ve been working on for the last six weeks is the perfect piece.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She handed Adam the sheet music.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh yes,\u201d Adam smiled, as he spread the sheets out on the desk before him.<\/p>\n

Teresa handed him the guitar.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam took a moment to make certain everything was in tune, then played the first notes of \u201cThe Blue Danube Waltz.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa began to hum along.<\/p>\n

Ben turned to his daughter, smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, may I have this dance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you may, Pa,\u201d she agreed readily, returning his smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cONE, two, three . . . . \u201d Ben counted softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cONE, two, three . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy\u2019s thoughts drifted back to a spring day, long ago, when she still lived with the Paiute clan of Chief Soaring Eagle.\u00a0\u00a0 She and some of the other young children had picked wild flowers growing in the meadow, where the tribe had set up camp, along the banks a creek, that flowed through the open sunlit meadow into deep forest.\u00a0\u00a0 One of children had accidentally dropped her flowers into the swift running waters of the creek, swollen by winter melt from the surrounding mountains.<\/p>\n

Borne aloft on the surface of the water, the flowers danced, moving and circling to the tempo set by the swift flowing currents.\u00a0\u00a0 The counting faded to silence as the flow of melody slowly and steadily permeated her spirit, moving her body in time with its gentle rhythm, as the waters of the creek moved the flowers on that spring day, so long ago.\u00a0\u00a0 Thus entranced, her awkward self-consciousness ebbed, leaving behind a confident, even graceful dancer.<\/p>\n

\u201cMusic!\u201d Ben exclaimed with a smile, when the last strains of the waltz faded into silence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, that\u2019s just what you needed to take you from someone who couldn\u2019t take her eyes off her feet to the beautiful dancer you really are!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Stacy said, still reeling from the effects of the potent spell cast by the music.\u00a0\u00a0 She turned and impulsively gave Ben a big, affectionate hug.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHaving a good teacher helps a lot, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ll be a pole cat\u2019s first cousin!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 He stood leaning against the front door, divested of jacket, gun belt, and hat, with his arms folded across his chest.\u00a0\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe Kid actually dances as well as she fences!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that supposed to be a compliment, Baby Brother?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it IS supposed to be a compliment,\u201d Stacy said smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis morning, after we finished with my fencing lessons, he told me I was a natural.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked back at Adam with an annoying, smug cat-that-ate-the-canary grin, and thumbed up his nose.<\/p>\n

Adam favored his youngest brother with a disdainful withering glare, then stuck out his tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201cI DO have an ulterior motive for teaching you how to dance, Young Woman,\u201d Ben confessed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s that, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Widow Danvers is going to be at The Wedding and the reception,\u201d Ben said gravely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI expect you to protect me by saving all your dances for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat no good, brazen bi—er, uhhh . . . HUSSY! . . . sure has HER nerve!\u201d she said indignantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose were pretty strong words, Stacy . . . almost,\u201d Teresa observed quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat did this Widow Danvers do to deserve them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat, Teresa, is a very long and very complicated story,\u201d Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs for the words, I\u2019m being overly polite,\u201d Stacy said grimly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa won\u2019t let me use the words that say what I REALLY think of her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn English OR in Paiute,\u201d Ben added meaningfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to mention a few Irish slang variations,\u201d Joe added remembering a time when Colleen O\u2019Hanlan had occasion to ream the \u2018good\u2019 Widow Danvers out royally, using words that would have made her once and former love, Apollo the sailor, blush.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry about a thing, Pa,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t let Mrs. Danvers anywhere NEAR you.\u00a0\u00a0 If she tries to cut in, I\u2019ll tell her to go take a long walk off a of real short plank.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf that fails, Stacy can always follow through with that deadly right cross of hers,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it comes down to THAT, Stacy, I promise to protect YOU from Sheriff Coffee, after Mrs. Danvers presses charges,\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . Adam . . . you mind if I borrow Stacy and Teresa?\u201d Joe asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll only be for a moment or two . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould it be too much to ask you WHY you want to borrow Stacy add Teresa?\u201d Adam asked, his eyes narrowing.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be up front and perfectly honest . . . yes!\u00a0\u00a0 It WOULD be too much to ask,\u201d Joe quipped with an affable grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnyone ever tell you you\u2019re overly suspicious, Oldest Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he is, he takes after his father,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d Joe asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow do you figure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019D like to know the answer to that question myself,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

Joe flinched away from the dark, suspicious glares his father and oldest brother leveled in his direction.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright, Pa . . . Adam . . . . \u201d he sighed, resigned, \u201cif you MUST know . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must!\u201d Ben said very quietly.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded in complete agreement.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, Teresa, and I have decided to spend tomorrow night in town together, while the two of you and Hoss go to that bachelor party,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

Teresa and Stacy briefly exchanged glances.\u00a0\u00a0 This was the first time either one had even heard of such plans.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought we\u2019d have dinner, and maybe take in that poetry reading at the public library,\u201d Joe blithely continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe just need to finalize some of the details.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s a fine idea,\u201d Ben approved.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou three go ahead and talk.\u00a0\u00a0 I need to sit down and rest a bit, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll just step outside a minute,\u201d Joe said, motioning for his sister and sister-in-law to follow.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be right back,\u201d Teresa said with a smile, as she and Stacy followed Joe out through the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Little Joe\u2019s up to something,\u201d Adam said, frowning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou know that . . . don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know,\u201d Ben sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYour youngest brother\u2019s as transparent as a pane of glass. \u00a0\u00a0But, whatever it is, I\u2019m more than confident that a mature, no nonsense woman like Teresa is more than able put a stop to any and all wild shenanigans Joe and Stacy are capable of dreaming up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam opened his mouth to speak, only to change his mind and close it completely.\u00a0\u00a0 He didn\u2019t quite have the heart to remind his father that he had only seen Teresa\u2019s no nonsense maturity when she dealt with the shenanigans of young Benjy and Dio.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam knew all too well that his loving wife Teresa had her own wild, playful side.\u00a0\u00a0 Although he thoroughly enjoyed that part of her, he also knew that his wife was more than capable of leading Joe and Stacy into wild adventures the like of which neither had ever dreamed.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up, Grandpa?\u201d Stacy turned and demanded, the instant they had put a discreet distance between themselves and the house.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis is the first WE\u2019VE heard about any plans for Friday night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSsshhh!\u00a0\u00a0 Would you keep your voice down?\u201d\u00a0 Joe cast a quick, furtive glance in the direction of the house.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI now know for absolute certain where the O\u2019Hanlans\u2019 music box is,\u201d he said, taking great care to keep his voice low.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do?\u201d Stacy asked, sotto voce.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s in the clutches of one Miss Clarissa Starling,\u201d Joe said with a dark scowl, remembering the beer she had dashed in his face earlier.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s got it hidden upstairs in her room at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do YOU know?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI stopped by to see Lotus O\u2019Toole this evening,\u201d Joe explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Lotus O\u2019Toole?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s the lady who offered to buy me a drink at the Silver Dollar this afternoon,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe told me THEN that she had her SUSPICIONS about Clarissa having that music box in her possession, but she wasn\u2019t sure.\u00a0\u00a0 She told me she\u2019d have more information tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo THAT\u2019S why you all of a sudden told Pa that you and Hoss were meeting Apollo Nikolas tonight,\u201d Stacy said grinning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI just hope you know what kind of dreadful example you\u2019re setting for a sweet, innocent, impressionable child like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight,\u201d Joe returned with a touch of sarcasm.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis from the kid who hauled off and kicked a well known master thief and con man in the shins, and like as not could teach the likes of the Earps and Doc Holiday some new tricks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy responded by sticking out her tongue.<\/p>\n

Joe immediately returned the gesture.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did Lotus O\u2019Toole have to say when you went to see her this evening?\u201d Teresa asked, pulling their conversation back on track.<\/p>\n

Joe told his sister and sister-in-law everything that Lotus O\u2019Toole had learned concerning the whereabouts of the O\u2019Hanlans\u2019 music box.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s kind of strange,\u201d Teresa said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I had stolen a music box, the LAST thing I\u2019D do would be to brag about it,\u201d Teresa said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d want to sell it, get the cash, and run.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa\u2019s right about THAT, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDid Lotus say WHY Clarissa\u2019s keeping the music box?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll we have is theory, actually,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe last three or four times Matt and Colleen called off the wedding, he took up with Clarissa Starling.\u00a0\u00a0 Lotus said this LAST time there was talk of Matt and Clarissa planning their own wedding, before HE got back with Colleen and THEY started planning for The Wedding of the Century.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Teresa murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sound like you agree with Clarissa,\u201d Stacy looked over at her sister-in-law with a mixture of shock and outrage.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d Teresa said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes . . . I CAN understand Clarissa\u2019s motives for keeping it, but doing so presumably to spite Matt isn\u2019t fair to Molly, or Frankie either, even if he WAS careless.\u00a0\u00a0 I saw how upset Molly was in the dress shop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter Hoss took you and Adam to see Doctor Martin, Molly was so grief-stricken, she almost had ME crying,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Frankie was pretty devastated, too,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got a plan to get it back?\u201d Teresa asked, noting the wild, anticipatory gleam in her young brother-in-law\u2019s hazel eyes for the first time.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Joe replied, \u201cbut I can\u2019t it manage alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever it is, you can count ME in, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy said, her eyes shining with her own growing excitement.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen do we do the deed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTomorrow night, while that bachelor party for Matt\u2019s in full swing,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy during the bachelor party?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe second reason for waiting until the bachelor party is Lotus told me that Sally Tyler\u2019s been pressuring Clarissa to do the right thing and return the music box to the O\u2019Hanlans,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI promised Lotus to give Sally until the start of the bachelor party to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes this Sally Tyler know about your plan to retrieve the music box?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOnly Lotus.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Grandpa, what\u2019s your FIRST reason for pulling off the music box raid during the bachelor party?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Adam, and Hoss will be at the party,\u201d Joe replied with a smug grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat leaves US free to go out tomorrow night without running the risk of being asked a lot of embarrassing questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like you have all the bases covered, Joe,\u201d Teresa said approvingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPretty much,\u201d Joe replied with confidence.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou in with Stacy and me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet I am!\u201d Teresa said, with a smile of pure devilment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have a feeling that whatever you\u2019ve got in the works is sure going to beat spending a nice, quiet evening at home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen do you see Molly next?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I imagine we\u2019ll all see them first thing in the morning,\u201d Stacy replied, \u201cwhen they take Pa and me up on our invitation!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat invitation?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy and Pa invited Molly and her brother to come visit when things got tense at home,\u201d Joe explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTomorrow being the day before The Wedding, it\u2019s not gonna take all that much to get Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan tense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf!\u201d Stacy snorted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think that woman was BORN tense!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk to Frankie and Molly when they come tomorrow,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHopefully, they\u2019ll join us in our little caper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know Molly will,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s become quite the adventurer in the five going on six years you\u2019ve known her, Little Sister,\u201d Joe remarked with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cAccording to Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, that can be directly blamed, on not only MY bad influence, but the bad influence of my family as well,\u201d Stacy said proudly, grinning from ear to ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood for you, Stacy,\u201d Teresa said candidly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we\u2019d better go in before Pa and Adam think of trying to sneak up on us under the cover of surrounding rocks and bushes,\u201d Joe suggested, glancing over his shoulder at the house.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen we get back inside . . . just act casual.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Ben pressed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan you hear anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo . . . not a thing,\u201d Adam replied, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

Father and his oldest son stood next to the front door, ever so slightly ajar, with their ears pressed hard against the opening.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan they see the house?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe and Teresa are facing away from the house,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy\u2019s focused on them mostly, but she keeps an occasional eye on the front door.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, when Stacy\u2019s not looking, we can sneak out to that large rock over there,\u201d Ben suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cToo late for that, Pa!\u201d Adam hissed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re coming!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBack to the settee!\u00a0\u00a0 Now!\u201d Ben ordered sotto voce.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd act casual!\u201d<\/p>\n

When Joe, Stacy and Teresa reentered the house, they found Ben and Adam seated together on the settee, side by side, postures stiffly erect, hands folded in their laps, and eyes fixed on the massive fireplace directly in front of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019know, I could\u2019ve SWORN I closed the front door when we went out,\u201d Joe said pointedly, his lips curving upward to form a secretive Mona Lisa smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0 What are ya looking at ME for?\u201d Adam demanded when Ben turned to glare at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, really!\u00a0\u00a0 Were you brought up in a barn or something?\u201d Joe quipped.<\/p>\n

Adam responded with a ferocious glare leveled in the general direction of his youngest brother, who, in his own humble opinion seemed to be finding too much enjoyment in the discomfiture of his elders.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Joe cajoled with a big, smug, cat-that-ate-the-cream smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI asked Stacy and Teresa to step outside so we wouldn\u2019t bore you with our plans for next Friday.\u00a0\u00a0 We have no secrets here, none at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNone?!\u201d Adam queried, his eyes narrowing with suspicion.<\/p>\n

\u201cNone, honest!\u201d Joe said earnestly, with that wide eyed much too innocent look on his face that ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent of the time warned that mischief of a significant nature was in the offing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou didn\u2019t have to go through all that trouble trying to listen through the door, OLDEST BROTHER.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned and glared over at his father.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI wasn\u2019t the only one,\u201d he growled.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . if you really want to know what we were talking about, all you have to do is ASK,\u201d Joe invited.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Baby Brother,\u201d Adam eagerly pounced on the invitation with both feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m asking.\u00a0\u00a0 What ARE your plans for next Friday night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPoetry, Oldest Brother, sheer poetry,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cOh dear,\u201d Molly murmured, as her brother, Frankie brought the buggy and horse, both rented from the livery stable in town, to a halt in front of the Cartwrights\u2019 house the following morning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hope we\u2019re not too early . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we are, Molly, I\u2019d rather have to wake up Mister Cartwright than go back home and face Ma,\u201d Frankie said soberly.<\/p>\n

The front door opened.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Molly . . . Frankie, y\u2019 better git a move on!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Hoss, already up and dressed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got just enough time to wash up \u2018n git to the table in time for breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh good, you folks haven\u2019t eaten yet,\u201d Frankie said, leaping down from the buggy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m starving.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I hope Frankie and I aren\u2019t putting you out,\u201d Molly said doubtfully.<\/p>\n

Hoss gently lifted Molly from the buggy and set her down lightly on her feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not puttin\u2019 us out one li\u2019l bit,\u201d he hastened to assure her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, ya gotta move.\u00a0\u00a0 Y\u2019 know how Hop Sing is about eatin\u2019 while it\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you coming in to breakfast with us, Hoss?\u201d Molly asked, as she and her brother stopped at the pump outside to wash their hands and splash the cold water on their faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got up \u2018n ate a couple o\u2019 hours ago,\u201d Hoss replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow I\u2019m fixin\u2019 to head on into town an\u2019 run a few errands.\u00a0\u00a0 You two g\u2019won inside.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy\u2019ll be down shortly, if she ain\u2019t down already.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll have one of the men see t\u2019 your horse \u2018n buggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss,\u201d Frankie said gratefully.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Morning, Molly,\u201d Joe greeted his sister\u2019s best friend with a warm smile, \u201cyou, too, Frankie.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0He turned and cast a quick glance toward the stairs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe gotta talk,\u201d he said lowering his voice to a mere whisper, \u201cprivately, after breakfast.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s about the music box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe music box?\u201d Frankie queried, normal volume.<\/p>\n

\u201cSshhh!\u201d Joe quickly shushed him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll fill you in later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean to tell me you found it?\u201d Molly asked, taking great care to keep her voice low.<\/p>\n

Joe nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll talk later,\u201d he promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Molly . . . hi, Frankie!\u201d Stacy greeted her friends, as she bounded down the stairs, two and three at a time.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Bout time you hauled your lazy bones outta bed, Kid,\u201d Joe chided her with mock severity.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d have been up a lot earlier if I had gotten to sleep before you did,\u201d Stacy retorted with an impish grin.\u00a0\u00a0 She turned her attention to Molly and Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAround here, anyone unfortunate enough NOT to get to sleep before Grandpa here, is kept awake all night by his snoring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do NOT snore,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, you do!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo SO!\u201d Stacy retorted.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s more, you snore louder than the lowing of a whole herd of sick cattle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou exaggerate, Kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I do, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf I told people what you REALLY sound like, no one\u2019d believe me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019m gonna hate myself for asking this, but . . . what DO I really sound like?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou actually snore louder than the lowing of TEN herds of sick cattle,\u201d Stacy answered with a smug grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHar de har har!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Joe seized one of the cushions from the settee and lobbed it at Stacy\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

Stacy ducked.\u00a0\u00a0 The cushion sailed over her head toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

A strangled deep baritone cry from the direction of the steps froze the blood in the veins of not only the younger Cartwright offspring, but of the O\u2019Hanlans as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh . . . oh . . . . \u201d Joe squeaked, his eyes round with horror.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph Francis Cartwright, is THIS yours?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Ben Cartwright, standing at the first landing, holding the cushion his youngest son had thrown at Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cN-no, Sir,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI, uh . . . think it belongs on the settee, actually . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Ben tossed the cushion back to Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSee that you return it,\u201d he said with an indignant scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cBreakfast ready!\u201d Hop Sing announced.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome eat while hot!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He turned to the O\u2019Hanlans, and smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood morning, Miss Molly . . . Mister Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 Come, eat!\u00a0\u00a0 Where Mister Adam, and Mrs. Teresa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam and Teresa will be along in a few moments,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned to the O\u2019Hanlans, and smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood morning, Molly . . . Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019d better move along to the table.\u00a0\u00a0 If we don\u2019t eat while it\u2019s hot . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . things get very ugly around here very quickly,\u201d Stacy said, as she ushered Frankie and Molly toward the table.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben and Joe followed close behind.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and in Chinese, no less,\u201d Joe added with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Adam doing this morning, Mister Cartwright?\u201d Molly asked, remembering the incident with the thief the previous day.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe swelling\u2019s gone down and he\u2019s not talking as nasal as he was last night,\u201d Ben said, taking his place at the head of the table, \u201cbut he\u2019s sporting a couple of real shiners this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing says poor Adam reminds him of a Chinese robber baron,\u201d Stacy said, trying hard not to smile.\u00a0\u00a0 This morning, she sat down in the chair to her father\u2019s right.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly took the chair between Stacy and her brother, who sat at the end of the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, where\u2019s Hoss?\u201d Joe asked, taking the chair directly across from his sister, Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t HE coming for breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe got up and ate earlier,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes went round with exaggerated, melodramatic horror.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u201d he gasped.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hope there\u2019s food for the rest of us . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo worry, Little Joe,\u201d Hop Sing hastened to reassure the youngest of the Cartwright sons, as he entered the dining area, carrying an enormous tray, piled high with flapjacks, smothered in fresh churned butter and maple syrup.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPlenty food in kitchen.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He\u00a0 placed the tray directly in front of Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEat.\u00a0\u00a0 I come back with sausage, bacon, and eggs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss said something about going into town to finish setting up for the party tonight,\u201d Ben said thoughtfully, while spearing a half dozen pancakes from the serving tray with his fork.\u00a0\u00a0 He frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s odd!\u00a0\u00a0 I thought we\u2019d FINISHED setting up for that party last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy and Joe exchanged puzzled glances.\u00a0\u00a0 Was it possible that their ever open and above board big brother had a clandestine contrivance of his own afoot?\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNah,\u201d they said in unison, shaking their heads.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy?\u00a0\u00a0 Joseph?\u00a0\u00a0 Did you say something?\u201d Ben asked, looking from one to the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust thinking out loud, Pa,\u201d Stacy said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, too,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Everyone,\u201d Teresa greeted the assembly at the dining room table with a big smile.\u00a0\u00a0 She sat down in the empty chair beside Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood morning, Molly . . . Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you both could join us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Teresa,\u201d Ben greeted his daughter-in-law with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs Adam coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe WAS right behind me . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, Pa.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 All eyes turned toward Adam, who stood stiffly behind the empty chair next to Teresa.\u00a0\u00a0 Though the swelling in his nose had decreased markedly, his eyelids and cheeks were a livid blue-black-purple color.<\/p>\n

Joe burst out laughing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, well, well, if it isn\u2019t PONDEROSA Robber Baron!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandpa, you\u2019re cruel!\u201d Stacy declared, laboring valiantly to stifle her own onset of the giggles.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ponderosa Robber Baron?\u201d Adam queried in an ice-cold tone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWHO may I ask is the Ponderosa Robber Baron?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat raccoon Hop Sing finally trapped in the garbage last week,\u201d Joe laughed uproariously.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s been a nuisance ever since he woke up from hibernation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ponderosa.\u00a0 Robber Baron!\u201d Adam muttered through clenched teeth.\u00a0\u00a0 Without further ado, he marched resolutely over to the chair Joe occupied and seized his youngest brother by the collar and belt.\u00a0\u00a0 With strength born of indignant outrage, Adam lifted Joe from his chair and marched toward the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cHEY!\u201d Joe protested at the top of his voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWHAT DO YOU THINK YOU\u2019RE DOING?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa bit her lip to keep from giggling herself, and pointedly stared down at her hands clasped in her lap.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben and Stacy exchanged glances, before rising abruptly from the table and following.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly, too, rose and followed close at Ben and Stacy\u2019s heels.\u00a0\u00a0 The three of them stopped at the open front door and watched as Adam dragged Joe, literally kicking and screaming toward the horse trough, filled with water.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT\u2019S THE MATTER WITH YOU?\u201d Joe yelled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCAN\u2019T CHA TAKE A JOKE?\u00a0\u00a0 COME ON, ADAM, PUT ME DOWN!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that, Little Joe?\u201d Adam queried with a malicious grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI SAID <\/strong>PUT ME DOWN!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHappy to oblige!\u201d Adam said, dropping Joe into the water trough with a tremendous splash.<\/p>\n

Joe immediately surfaced coughing and sputtering.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTwo mornings in a row!\u00a0\u00a0 This is getting OLD, Adam . . . really OLD!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been saying for years that you\u2019re all wet, Baby Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, is breakfast ALWAYS like this?\u201d Molly queried sotto voce, as they returned to the breakfast table.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d Stacy replied glibly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re on our best behavior today because we have company.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella . . . Grace . . . you call THIS a clean floor?\u201d Myra Danvers demanded, taking no pains what so ever to mask her growing vexation.\u00a0\u00a0 She, the other members of the Virginia City Christian Church Ladies\u2019 Guild, and their daughters had spent the better part of the morning, cleaning out the church basement for the reception following the much-anticipated Wedding of the Century.\u00a0\u00a0 Pruella, her own daughter, and Grace Hansen, the eldest of five daughters born to the Cartwrights\u2019 neighbors, Clay and Florence Hansen, were down on their hands and knees scrubbing vigorously to remove nearly two decades of dirt and grime from the basement floor of the church.<\/p>\n

\u201cMother, Miss Hansen and I have been working for HOURS!\u201d Pruella whined.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy back hurts, my legs hurt, my arms and shoulders hurt . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe exercise is good for you, especially after that enormous breakfast you wolfed down this morning,\u201d Myra returned scathingly.\u00a0\u00a0 She stood in front of her daughter, still down on her hands and knees on the stone basement floor, glaring with a mixture of disdain and revulsion at his daughter\u2019s plump figure.<\/p>\n

Pruella cringed away from her mother\u2019s intense, withering glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes . . . . \u201d Myra said slowly, \u201cthe exercise would be VERY good for you.\u00a0\u00a0 Grace!\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace Hansen sat back on her knees and looked up at Myra Danvers expectantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo help your mother with the window washing,\u201d Myra snapped out the order.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Grace murmured meekly.\u00a0\u00a0 She quickly scrambled to her feet and ran across the room, where her mother was in the midst of scrubbing the grimy basement windows.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs for YOU,\u201d Myra turned with cold, disdainful fury on her daughter, \u201cI want this floor so clean you can eat off it.\u00a0\u00a0 Do I make myself clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella rose to her feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFine,\u201d she snapped, \u201cdo it yourself!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She slammed her scrub brush into the bucket with all her angry might, splashing the soapy water all over the floor and her mother\u2019s long skirt.<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella!\u201d<\/p>\n

The girl glared at her mother, then turned heel and began to walk resolutely toward the steps leading up out of the basement.<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella, you come back here this instant!\u201d Myra ordered indignantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you hear me?\u00a0\u00a0 Right now!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella, her mouth set in a thin angry line continued her march toward the basement steps as if her mother had not spoken.<\/p>\n

\u201cPRUELLA!\u201d<\/p>\n

The girl paused, then turned facing her mother and tormenter.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing I ever do is right,\u201d Pruella returned, her tone and vocal inflections not unlike those of her mother, at HER most scathing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing I do ever satisfies or pleases you.\u00a0\u00a0 Fine!\u00a0\u00a0 I won\u2019t do anything for you ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella, I will not tolerate such insolence!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella turned again, intending to run up the basement steps and as far away from her mother as her legs could possibly carry her.\u00a0\u00a0 Instead, she collided headlong into Barney Murphy, assistant and prot\u00e9g\u00e9 to Mick O\u2019Flynn, causing him the loose his tenuous hold on tools and spare parts.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me!\u201d Pruella said, glaring down at the young man as if he were an insect that had just crawled out from under a rock.\u00a0\u00a0 With that, she contemptuously pushed past Barney and continued her way up stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe pleasure is all mine,\u201d Barney murmured, gazing appreciatively at her retreating form.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what, may I ask, is YOUR business here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Barney turned and found himself looking up into the scowling, angry face of Myra Danvers.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Ma\u2019am!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Mick O\u2019Flynn, this morning attired in a pair of clean overalls, and a cream colored linen shirt, its sleeves rolled to the elbows.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Danvers, I presume?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she replied, eyeing Mick O\u2019Flynn and Barney Murphy suspiciously.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWho are YOU?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve come to install the new woodstove,\u201d Mick said smoothly, with an affable grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe new woodstove?!\u201d Myra echoed incredulously.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Mick nodded ascent.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, being president of the Virginia City Church Ladies Guild, I know for fact that the church hasn\u2019t ordered a new woodstove,\u201d Myra said scathingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are quite right, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Mick said smoothly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe church has NOT ordered a new woodstove.\u00a0\u00a0 THIS woodstove is a donation from a wealthy parishioner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA wealthy parishioner, eh?\u201d Myra queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd who, may I ask, IS this wealthy parishioner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wishes to remain anonymous.\u201d<\/p>\n

The thought of an unknown wealthy parishioner making so great a donation to the church anonymously without her notice, clearly intrigued her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThis wealthy parishioner . . . does he live in Virginia City proper?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t say he does, Mrs. Danvers, and I won\u2019t say he DOES not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u00a0\u00a0 Does he own one of the ranches in the area?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not at all at liberty to say one way or t\u2019 other.\u201d<\/p>\n

A slow predatory smile spread across her lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs it one of the larger ranches in the area?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t hear such a thing from me, Dear Lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you so very much, Mister . . . .?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cO\u2019Flynn, Ma\u2019am.\u00a0\u00a0 Mister Mick O\u2019Flynn, at your service.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been very informative, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d Myra said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cVery informative indeed!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The ranch that he had just \u201cdescribed\u201d in such glowing terms could only be the Ponderosa, and THAT could only mean the identity of the anonymous donor in question was none other than Ben Cartwright.\u00a0\u00a0 She made a mental note to craft a glowing letter of thanks and appreciation at the earliest opportunity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope THAT\u2019S not the woodstove,\u201d Myra said pointing to the collection of spare parts, Barney had just finished retrieving from the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Mick shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI dropped off the stove last night actually.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He gestured grandly toward the basement fireplace.\u00a0\u00a0 There on the brick hearth sat Matilda, his still.<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers walked over toward the still, frowning.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTHAT\u2019S the woodstove?\u201d she queried, with a bewildered frown.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s so small!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the new, compact models,\u201d Mick replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what\u2019s THAT?\u201d she demanded, pointing to the wood and coal carefully arranged beneath the still.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe very latest thing, Mrs. Danvers,\u201d Mick replied without missing a beat.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cY\u2019 burn the wood THERE, it boils water inside the stove, which, in turn sends heat through piping laid out over the entire church.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myra grimaced.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou m-mean . . . we\u2019re going to have a . . . a maze of unsightly piping winding its way through our church?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise y\u2019, Ma\u2019am, ye\u2019ll not see one single, solitary pipe, unsightly or otherwise,\u201d Mick promised solemnly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019ll be placed behind the ceilin\u2019s, the walls, and under the floors.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ll drill small, tiny, tiny holes, so tiny, y\u2019 won\u2019t be able to see \u2018em, to let the heat out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and this is the very latest?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leave it to Ben Cartwright to purchase the latest in new technology and the best.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn, can you have that woodstove installed in time for The Wedding ?\u201d Myra asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have that baby installed by this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcellent!\u201d Myra exclaimed with glee.\u00a0\u00a0 Surely a prominent personage like Ben Cartwright would be attending the big Wedding and reception as an invited guest.\u00a0 After all, his oldest son was to be the best man.\u00a0 Yes, Ben would definitely be attending.\u00a0\u00a0 Myra planned to see to it that the first thing the Cartwright patriarch saw was his anonymous gift, bright and shining, there for one and all to see.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Pruella Danvers, her face a veritable thunderstorm, stomped up the three wooden steps leading to the front door of the home she and her mother shared.\u00a0\u00a0 She stomped across the porch and entered the house, slamming the door shut behind her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Danvers?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Estella Hastings, their housekeeper.\u00a0\u00a0 She flounced down the front stairs, dressed in a blue-gray traveling suit, carrying a carpetbag in each hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo . . . . \u201d Pruella looked over at the tall thin woman, her face a mask of righteous indignation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMother\u2019s still over at the church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Miss Pruella, you can tell her for me that I QUIT!\u201d Estella declared with an emphatic nod of her head.<\/p>\n

Pruella gazed over at the housekeeper, very soon to be FORMER housekeeper, her eyes round with shocked stupefaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs of today, Mrs. Danvers owes me two months wages, of which I have yet to see so much as a penny,\u201d Estella continued.\u00a0\u00a0 She placed her bags on the floor, and opened her purse.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll I get is empty promises.\u00a0\u00a0 I can\u2019t live on empty promises.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0She pulled an envelope from her purse and presented it to Pruella.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy letter of resignation, effective immediately, and the address where she can send the wages to which I am owed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella took the envelope.\u00a0\u00a0 It was sealed, and marked, \u201cMrs. M. Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Estella angrily closed her purse, and bent down to pick up her bags.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood bye, Miss Pruella,\u201d she said, the tone of her voice suggesting more of a good riddance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have a stage to catch.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She rudely pushed her way past Pruella and flounced angrily out the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh great, here we go again!\u201d Pruella sighed, as she carelessly tossed the envelope in hand onto the marble and cherry wood half circle table in the vestibule.\u00a0\u00a0 When Mother returned home and found out that Miss Hastings had quit, she would be fit to be tied.\u00a0\u00a0 Miss Hastings was the tenth in a long line of housekeepers to leave her mother\u2019s employ in the space of the past year.<\/p>\n

An insistent knock on the door drew Pruella from her less than happy musings.\u00a0\u00a0 She turned and flung the door open, favoring the caller with a dark, angry glare.\u00a0\u00a0 It was Harlan Hurley, the eldest of Jack and Athena Hurley\u2019s twin boys.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do YOU want?\u201d Pruella demanded, taking no pains to mask her irritation.<\/p>\n

Harlan stood, his posture ramrod straight, with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a jewelry box in the other.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFlowers for the fair,\u201d he said, wincing, \u201cand pearls for a princess.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He presented the gifts with a flourish.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome in,\u201d Pruella invited, accepting the gifts.\u00a0\u00a0 She led him to the formal parlor, noting that he walked slightly bow legged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPlease, sit down . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d prefer to stand,\u201d Harlan said very quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself,\u201d Pruella sighed indifferently.\u00a0\u00a0 She left the parlor, heading for the kitchen.\u00a0\u00a0 The flowers, making up the bouquet, came from that new shop on main street.\u00a0\u00a0 That alone told her they were costly.\u00a0\u00a0 The flowers were out-of-season, force grown in that small green house behind the shop.\u00a0\u00a0 That fact doubled, sometimes even tripled the cost.\u00a0\u00a0 She stepped into the kitchen, and placed the flowers on the counter running the length of the east wall beneath the line of windows.\u00a0\u00a0 Pruella quickly located a vase, and filled it at the kitchen pump.\u00a0\u00a0 She, then, carefully arranged the flowers in the vase, smiling down at them with a measure of awe and respect.<\/p>\n

After seeing to the flowers, Pruella opened the jewelry box, and found a pearl necklace, made of luminous white pearls of near equal size and shape, lying inside against a backdrop of deep, black velvet.\u00a0\u00a0 This necklace alone had to have cost a small fortune.\u00a0\u00a0 Add to that the cost of having ordered it from New York, Boston, or perhaps Philadelphia back east . . . .<\/p>\n

Pruella returned to the parlor and her caller a few moments later, carrying the vase of flowers.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you so much for these lovely gifts,\u201d she purred, taking note of the suite he wore.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a three-piece black suit, custom tailored from the way it fit, and brand new.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019d you do, Harlan?\u00a0\u00a0 Rob a stage?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cN-no . . . . \u201d Harlan vigorously shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems you\u2019ve come into a great deal of money recently,\u201d she remarked, taking great care to keep her voice sounding casual.<\/p>\n

\u201cI, uuhh, got a job,\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously one that pays well,\u201d she said, her face illuminated with a smile, concealing a sudden flash of inspiration.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHarlan, seeing as how YOU\u2019RE in your Sunday best, \u2018n all . . . and with money to spend, how \u2018bout you going to the livery and renting one o\u2019 those fancy buggies for the day?\u201d<\/p>\n

Harlan paled, and swallowed.\u00a0\u00a0 The last thing in the world he wanted to do today was spend a lot of time sitting.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can go out . . . somewhere . . . ANYwhere . . . just YOU \u2018n ME . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 As long as it was far away from this house when her mother came home to discover that Miss Hastings had quit this afternoon, and left bag and baggage.<\/p>\n

The prospect of spending an entire afternoon alone with Pruella Danvers brought a smile to his lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOK,\u201d he agreed, forcing all thoughts of the time he would be forced to spend sitting in a buggy from his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile you\u2019re at the livery, I\u2019ll run up \u2018n change to MY Sunday best, too,\u201d she promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll even have cook fix a picnic lunch . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t I stop off at the International Hotel and ask Mrs. Braun to put together a box lunch?\u201d he suggested quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 The Danvers\u2019 cook was known far and wide for her lack of culinary ability.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a splendid idea!\u201d Pruella declared with delight.\u00a0\u00a0 She lifted her head and kissed his cheek.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHurry back, Harlan Dear.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll be impatiently waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is all part of the Ponderosa, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is, Molly,\u201d Stacy replied, with a proud smile, \u201cas far as the eye can see.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and farther than THAT!\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u00a0\u00a0 I had no idea the Ponderosa was so large!\u201d Molly exclaimed.\u00a0\u00a0 She stood on the shore of Lake Tahoe, gazing out over the deep blue water toward the mountains rising in the distance.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe Cartwright stood on her left gallantly holding the reins for her mount, a gentle bay mare named Bayou Belle, along with same for his pinto, Cochise.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy stood on her right, absently stroking Blaze Face\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s on the other side of the lake?\u201d Molly asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cCalifornia,\u201d Stacy replied with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Frankie, come on and join the rest of us,\u201d Joe invited with a big grin and a wave of the hand.<\/p>\n

Frankie O\u2019Hanlan remained in the saddle of his borrowed horse, a gelding named Gentleman Jim, with a temperament more docile and gentle than the horse on which his sister Molly had ridden.\u00a0\u00a0 He sat stiffly erect clutching the reins so hard, his knuckles had turned white.<\/p>\n

Stacy turned and whispered in Blaze Face\u2019s ear.\u00a0\u00a0 He flicked both ears and nickered in response.\u00a0\u00a0 Confident that her horse would remain where he was and not wander away, she turned and ran over toward Gentleman Jim and Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 She took Gentleman Jim\u2019s bridle firmly in hand and gently stroked his muzzle.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have him, Frankie,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cTh-thanks, Stacy,\u201d Frankie said gratefully, as he pried his right hand loose from the reins first, then his left.\u00a0\u00a0 With heart in mouth, he gracelessly swung his leg over and dismounted.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you alright, Frankie?\u201d Stacy asked, noting that his complexion was a few shades paler than normal.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I don\u2019t know why I ever l-let you and Joe talk m-me into this,\u201d he murmured, falling in line behind Stacy, who had taken the reins of Gentleman Jim.<\/p>\n

\u201cProbably the fresh air, the breath taking scenery, the fact that the four of us need to talk privately . . . . \u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we gonna talk about?\u201d Frankie asked, as he, Stacy, and Gentleman Jim reached the spot where Joe and Molly stood.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour music box,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah!\u201d Molly exclaimed, turning her attention to Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou said right before breakfast you had found out something about our music box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t say much of anything in front of Pa at the breakfast table,\u201d Joe said, \u201cbut, I found out where it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did?\u201d Molly queried, looking over at him hopefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I did,\u201d Joe said grinning from ear to ear, \u201cand what\u2019s more, we\u2019re gonna get it back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cW-we are?\u201d Frankie murmured, all of a sudden feeling apprehensive.\u00a0\u00a0 He had no liking at all for the wild gleam in Joe Cartwright\u2019s hazel eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we are,\u201d Joe said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen?\u201d asked Frankie with fast sinking heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cTonight,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cT-To . . . To . . . night?!\u201d Frankie queried as the blood drained right out of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cTonight,\u201d Joe reiterated, with an emphatic nod of his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere IS the music box?\u201d Molly asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt the Silver Dollar,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa Starling has it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d Molly cried in outrage.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0\u00a0 That can\u2019t be true!\u201d Frankie protested.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa wouldn\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes she would, Frankie,\u201d Stacy said gravely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNot only would, but COULD and DID!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe that!\u00a0\u00a0 I . . . I WON\u2019T believe that!\u201d Frankie shook his head vigorously.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cClarissa\u2019s such a sweet, wonderful girl, she\u2019d never— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Frankie, I hate to be the guy to burst your bubble, but I\u2019m afraid it IS true,\u201d Joe said, not completely without sympathy for the younger man.\u00a0\u00a0 He remembered all too well how it felt not only to be on the giving end of an unrequited mad, passionate crush, but to learn that the person on the receiving end was all too human.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can you be so sure Clarissa has it?\u201d Frankie asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cLotus O\u2019Toole told me,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 He told the O\u2019Hanlans everything he had told his sister and sister-in-law the night before.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy that . . . that . . . no good . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, please!\u201d Joe admonished her with mock severity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLanguage!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say anything,\u201d Molly protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were about to,\u201d Joe said, grinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right!\u201d Molly admitted, smiling back.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Molly, you weren\u2019t!\u201d Frankie exclaimed, looking thoroughly scandalized.\u00a0\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t at all sure what horrified him the most:\u00a0 the thought of his baby sister, with her reputation for being so nice actually using words he had to date only heard his father and older sister use, or the fact that she had been about to direct those invectives at his beloved Clarissa.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, I was,\u201d Molly declared stoutly, with balled fists stubbornly placed on hips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBecause that Clarissa is every last one of the words that went through my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a mistake,\u201d Frankie said, \u201cit\u2019s gotta be.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a mistake alright,\u201d Stacy said sarcastically, \u201cand Clarissa\u2019s the one who made it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you got an idea as to how we\u2019re going to get that music box back?\u201d Molly asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet I do, Molly,\u201d Joe replied, \u201cbut, I\u2019m going to need a lot of help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa and I are in,\u201d Stacy added.<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa\u2019s in on this?\u201d Molly queried.\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d Joe confirmed, as he and Stacy both nodded their heads.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s wife suddenly rose a few notches on Molly\u2019s private, unwritten list of awesome individuals.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThen you can definitely count on Frankie and me, too, Joe,\u201d she declared.<\/p>\n

Frankie blanched.\u00a0\u00a0 He had no liking at all for adventures of any kind, and this promised to be a wild one, if the audacious gleam in Joe Cartwright\u2019s eyes was any indication.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c . . . uhh, Molly, can\u2019t we, uh, well . . . talk about this first?\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Molly said sternly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie, I know you didn\u2019t mean to, but you still lost that music box.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s only fair that you help us get it back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Molly, I— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie O\u2019Hanlan, you listen to me and you listen good!\u201d Molly cried in outrage, as her quick temper got the better of her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf you so much as try to weasel out of this, so help me, I\u2019ll . . . I\u2019ll . . . I\u2019ll mop up the whole of Virginia City with you from one end to the other and back again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Frankie looked like he was on the verge of fainting.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned and grasped the saddle horn in one hand and draped the other arm over the saddle, hanging on to both for dear life.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and don\u2019t you dare, for one moment think I can\u2019t do it either,\u201d Molly added, shaking a balled fist in his face for emphasis.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, alright, I\u2019m in,\u201d Frankie agreed, with much reluctance.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Frankie, it\u2019ll be real easy,\u201d Joe said smoothly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe create a bit of a diversion, go in, get the music box, make our escape through the back door into the alley.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d Frankie queried.\u00a0 \u201cJust . . . in and out . . . that quick?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll never even know we were there,\u201d Joe declared with confidence.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen do we strike?\u201d Molly asked, her own blue eyes glistening with anticipation.<\/p>\n

\u201cTonight, after the bachelor party for Matt Wilson gets underway,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow, I\u2019ve, uuhhh . . . told Pa that Stacy, Teresa, and I have plans for tonight, but I not really given him any details.\u00a0\u00a0 If the two of you can stay here until this evening . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019s going to be so busy getting all the last minute wedding details together, she won\u2019t miss Frankie and me at all,\u201d Molly said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa told us this morning that, deep down, she\u2019s probably be relieved to have us out of her hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll tell Pa that were all going to spend the evening together.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019s uhh, SOMEHOW gotten the idea that we\u2019re attending a poetry reading at the library tonight . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA poetry reading?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 A bewildered frown knotted Frankie\u2019s brow.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought we were going to get the music box back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly rolled her eyes, exhaling a curt sigh of impatience and exasperation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe ARE, Frankie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Joe just got through saying that we\u2019re going to a poetry reading at the library tonight,\u201d Frankie protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Frankie,\u201d Joe explained things slowly.\u00a0\u00a0 Very slowly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy pa THINKS were going to a poetry reading at the library tonight.\u00a0\u00a0 A slight misunderstanding, but it would be better all the way around if he just goes right on thinking that we\u2019re going to a poetry reading at the library.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you\u2019re not asking me t-to . . . to lie . . . are you?\u201d Frankie\u2019s normally pasty complexion lost what little color it had in the natural course of things.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not, Frankie,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good!\u201d Frankie heaved a long sigh of relief.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m no good at lying!\u00a0\u00a0 No good at all!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s right about that, I afraid,\u201d Molly said apprehensively.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn spades, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy added.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, tell you what, Frankie,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf any awkward questions arise, you just let Stacy and me handle them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you and Stacy are gonna lie?\u201d Frankie was horrified at the prospect.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor the record, the only time Stacy and I EVER lie is when we take naps or when we go to bed at night,\u201d Joe in tones of exaggerated righteous indignation.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right!\u201d Stacy agreed with an emphatic nod of her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c . . . and besides, lying is such a harsh word . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She grimaced.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe prefer to think of it more in terms of taking creative liberties with the truth,\u201d Joe added with a sly grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Grandpa, four horses and riders approaching from a slight northeasterly direction,\u201d Stacy noted with a frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cI recognize your father, Teresa, and Hop Sing,\u201d Molly noted, \u201cbut I can\u2019t make out who the fourth is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can make out a huge picnic basket fastened to the back of Hop Sing\u2019s horse,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, I\u2019m starved!\u201d Frankie said, licking his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut who IS that masked man?\u201d Molly asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt looks like Adam,\u201d Stacy observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s Adam, then ix-nay on the cracks about him wearing a mask,\u201d Joe warned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe almost drowned me in the trough out front early this morning when I called him a raccoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, clutching the cloth shopping bag with last minute purchases, mostly toiletries for her impending wedding night, in one hand and her handbag in the other, stood for a time, unmoving, her eyes fixed on the Silver Dollar Saloon across the street.\u00a0\u00a0 Finally, she swallowed, took a deep breath, then marched resolutely across the street, her face set with grim, rock hard determination.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood afternoon, Miss O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Sam, the bartender greeted her with mild surprise.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCan I, uuhh . . .\u00a0 can I getcha something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Colleen replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA bottle of whiskey and a glass.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She whipped open her handbag, fished out the necessary money and slapped it down on the bar in front of Sam.\u00a0\u00a0 She could feel every eye in the place fixed on her, boring holes in her back, but she had already made up her mind not to give a tinker\u2019s damn, as her maternal grandmother was wont to say from time to time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t usually see YOU in here, Miss O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Sam remarked, as he set a bottle of whiskey and clean glass on the bar in front of her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWedding day jitters?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you MIGHT say that,\u201d Colleen allowed, pouring herself a generous serving.\u00a0\u00a0 She raised her glass.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCheers, Sam!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen drained the entire glass in a single swallow, then poured herself another.<\/p>\n

\u201cSam, isn\u2019t that the bride-to-be?\u201d Lotus O\u2019Toole asked, while pouring two mugs of draft beer for a couple of customers seated at one of the tables.<\/p>\n

Sam nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWedding day jitters,\u201d he said, lowering his voice.<\/p>\n

Lotus set the two filled beer mugs on a tray, then turned to grab a whiskey bottle and glass.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWedding day jitters, eh?\u201d she remarked archly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHmm!\u00a0\u00a0 If I didn\u2019t know better, I\u2019d say she was having a lot of second thoughts.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She picked up the tray and stepped from behind the bar, narrowly missing a head on collision with Clarissa Starling.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my gosh, Lotus, I\u2019m so sorry!\u201d Clarissa apologized at once.<\/p>\n

\u201cS\u2019 ok, Clarissa,\u201d Lotus replied, flashing her a reassuring smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo harm done.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She paused for a moment, noting that Clarissa\u2019s face looked a bit paler than normal, and that she seemed unusually preoccupied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou alright, Clarissa?\u201d she asked gently.<\/p>\n

Clarissa nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFine, just kinda lost in thought\u2019s all . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

On impulse, Lotus reached over and gave Clarissa\u2019s hand a gentle, affectionate squeeze, then moved on to serve three elderly gentlemen, occupying on of the tables near the back of the room.<\/p>\n

Clarissa Starling, keeping herself well within the shadows, watched as Colleen chug-a-lugged her second glass of whiskey, and followed it up immediately with a third.<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Sally Tyler.<\/p>\n

No answer.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa stood as if rooted to the spot, glaring over at Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, who had just poured her fourth glass of whiskey.\u00a0\u00a0 If looks could have killed, they would all be attending the Funeral of the Century tomorrow afternoon.<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Sally reached out and gently touched her shoulder.<\/p>\n

Clarissa started violently.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry I startled you,\u201d Sally quickly apologized.\u00a0\u00a0 She waited for the flustered younger woman to recollect her wits.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou ok, Honey?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, S-Sally . . . just . . . fine!\u201d Clarissa stammered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSay!\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s up with that woman anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSam said it\u2019s wedding day jitters,\u201d Sally said.\u00a0\u00a0 She watched in almost raft fascination as Colleen swallowed her fourth glass of whiskey, then shook her head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWow!\u00a0\u00a0 If brides usually get that jittery, I\u2019m sure glad I stayed single.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWedding jitters my ass,\u201d Clarissa growled, remembering Lotus O\u2019Toole\u2019s words to Sam.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you say, Clarissa?\u201d Sally asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Clarissa replied curtly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cExcuse me!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She walked the entire length of the bar toward the door, where Colleen O\u2019Hanlan stood, contemplating the nearly empty bottle of whiskey.\u00a0\u00a0 Drawing along side Colleen, Clarissa reached out and tapped her shoulder forcefully.<\/p>\n

Colleen turned.\u00a0\u00a0 The abrupt motion of her body caused her to loose balance.\u00a0\u00a0 She made a wild grab for the bar, and missing the mark, ended up sprawled ungracefully on the floor at Clarissa\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell is your problem, Lady?\u201d Clarissa demanded, growing angrier by the minute.<\/p>\n

Colleen rose unsteadily to her feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy probl\u2019m is none o\u2019 yer damn business,\u201d she replied belligerently, while clinging to the edge of the bar for dear life.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really think you\u2019re hot donkey puck, don\u2019tcha?\u201d Clarissa rounded on Colleen, giving full vent to the fury that had been growing inside since the latter and Matt announced their engagement last month for the umpteenth time.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell you ain\u2019t!\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re nothin\u2019 but a pile o\u2019 cold cattle crud!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I oughtta be askin\u2019 YOU wha\u2019 da hell YOUR problem is,\u201d Colleen said, leveling a murderous glare at Clarissa.<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU, you no good drunken bitch!\u201d Clarissa\u2019s angry voice rose several notches in volume.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU\u2019RE my problem!\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen stared over at her ranting antagonist, her mouth open in shock.<\/p>\n

\u201cEither marry Matt Wilson or turn \u2018im loose,\u201d Clarissa continued, her voice rising with each word.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt ain\u2019t fair you stringin\u2019 \u2018im on year after year, while ya try an\u2019 make up your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI tol\u2019ja b\u2019fore, this is none o\u2019 yer business,\u201d Colleen pointedly turned her back.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, don\u2019t you dare . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa reached out with both hands, fully intending to turn Colleen back around to face her.\u00a0\u00a0 The instant she made contact, Colleen turned and lashed out with a hard, powerful right cross.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa stumbled backwards and fell.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s a fight y\u2019 want, then by golly it\u2019s a fight y\u2019ll get,\u201d Colleen declared, before leaping on her opponent with a primal banshee\u2019s wail of pure rage.<\/p>\n

Outside, Hoss and Apollo froze mid-stride a few feet past the Silver Dollar door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat sounds like Colleen,\u201d the latter murmured with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cBITCH!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGOBSHITE\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u00a0\u00a0 That WAS Colleen!\u201d Apollo gasped, horrified.<\/p>\n

A split second later, Clarissa Starling literally flew out through the swinging doors of the Silver Dollar Saloon, and landed half on the sidewalk, half in the dirt road.\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen staggered out of the door.\u00a0\u00a0 She stumbled across the side walk, and fell into the one of the support poles propping up the overhanging roof, sheltering the walk way.\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen spotted Clarissa in an instant.\u00a0\u00a0 With a cry of pure rage, the former leapt upon the latter.\u00a0\u00a0 In a flurry of name-calling and obscenities, shouted at the very top of their voices, the pair rolled in the street, each wrestling for supremacy over the other.\u00a0\u00a0 A crowd began to gather.<\/p>\n

Hoss immediately ran over to the embattled women, and grabbing each by the forearm, hauled both unceremoniously to their feet.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApollo, I could use your help!\u201d he said tersely, while valiantly laboring to keep Colleen and Clarissa apart.<\/p>\n

Apollo elbowed his way past a trio of elderly men, all known to be town gossips, and made a beeline for Hoss, and the two women.\u00a0\u00a0 He grabbed hold of Colleen and pulled her, kicking and screaming away from Hoss and Clarissa.\u00a0\u00a0 Though the women were unable to physically reach each other, verbal assaults flew fast and furious.\u00a0\u00a0 The sound of someone firing a pistol froze everyone in his or her tracks.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Folks, move along,\u201d Roy Coffee ordered the people gathered to watch the brawl.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFight\u2019s over, time to git on about yer business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStinkin\u2019 gobshite!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJezebel!\u201d<\/p>\n

As the crowd slowly dispersed, Roy turned and glared at both Colleen and Clarissa, still in the restraining grasps of Apollo and Hoss respectively.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, I demand that you arrest that woman,\u201d Clarissa cried, pointing her finger at Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe threw the first punch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich I wouldna done, if ya\u2019d minded yur own business, y\u2019 stupid guttersnipe!\u201d Colleen argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cSot!\u201d Clarissa spat.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re so filthy, falling down drunk . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBitch!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLadies, THAT will be enough!\u201d Roy said sternly, the minute he could get a word in edgewise.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Apollo, let \u2018em go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou . . . think that\u2019s, uuhhh, WISE, Sheriff Coffee?\u201d Apollo asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet \u2018em go,\u201d Roy said again.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Apollo looked at each other, shrugged, then did as Roy had asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cCall me a gobshite \u2018n a guttersnipe, willya?\u201d Clarissa growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou c\u2019n add bleached blonde shrew t\u2019 da list, too!\u201d Colleen returned without missing a beat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you . . . . \u201d Clarissa started moving toward Colleen, her hands balled into a pair of tight fists.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it!\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m placin\u2019 BOTH o\u2019 ya under arrest!\u201d Sheriff Coffee quickly interposed himself between the two women.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Apollo, do ya both swear to uphold \u2018n defend the laws o\u2019 Virginia City \u2018n Story County t\u2019 the best o\u2019 your ability?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . . \u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I guess so,\u201d Apollo said looking uncertain.<\/p>\n

\u201cConsider yourselves both sworn in as deputies,\u201d Roy said tersely.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, you grab Clarissa, and you, Apollo, grab hold o\u2019 Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m tossin\u2019 \u2018eM BOTH in the pokey \u2018til they calm down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, please!\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to get me out of here!\u201d Clarissa begged for the thousandth time.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m late for work now!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep it down over there, y\u2019 whining horse\u2019s arse ya!\u201d Colleen growled from the adjoining cell.\u00a0\u00a0 The effects of the whiskey, hastily consumed, had dissipated, leaving her feeling sick and irritable.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will NOT keep it down!\u201d Clarissa cried, angrily stamping her foot.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSOME of us have to work for a living, y\u2019 know.\u00a0\u00a0 Not ALL of us have a wealthy pa t\u2019 keep us \u2018til we can marry a decent man!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I had a violin, I\u2019d play it!\u201d Colleen snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen . . . Clarissa, none o\u2019 this is gonna help gittin\u2019 the two o\u2019 ya outta here,\u201d Hoss said sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not fair!\u201d Clarissa declared, glaring murderously over at Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSHE hit me first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell if you\u2019d have minded your OWN business— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa, an\u2019 YOU, too Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 This ain\u2019t gettin\u2019 us anywhere!\u201d Hoss said firmly.\u00a0\u00a0 He glared at both of them for a long moment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat set the two of ya off, anyways?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSHE hit me!\u201d Clarissa said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell if you\u2019d left me alone . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just couldn\u2019t stand it!\u201d Clarissa groaned.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, she came into the Silver Dollar earlier to get herself falling down stinkin\u2019 drunk.\u00a0\u00a0 You wanna know why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re about to tell us,\u201d Apollo said in a wry tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cDurn tootin\u2019!\u201d Clarissa said, glaring over at Apollo.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt was because SHE\u2019S having second thoughts again about gettin\u2019 hitched to . . . to . . . to the man I<\/strong> love with all my heart!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Her last words ended on a stifled sob.<\/p>\n

Colleen looked over at her askance.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU love Matt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do!\u201d Clarissa sobbed angrily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou gonna throw THAT in my face, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Colleen said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBecause I love Apollo here with all MY heart, and would give just about anything for HIM to be the groom at my wedding tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow hold on a minute!\u201d Hoss said, looking from Colleen to Clarissa, then back once again to Colleen.\u00a0\u00a0 A smile slowly spread across the lower portion of his face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow lemme git this straight!\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa, you\u2019re in love with Matt Wilson . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she replied in a small, sad voice.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . . and I\u2019m pretty sure Matt\u2019s still in love with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Colleen looked over at Hoss in complete and utter astonishment.<\/p>\n

\u201cH-Hoss . . . . you sure \u2018bout that?\u201d Clarissa asked, hardly daring to hope.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard \u2018bout that fight between Matt \u2018n Apollo,\u201d Hoss said quietly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf \u2018n he didn\u2019t care \u2018bout you at all, Clarissa, he wouldn\u2019a been tryin\u2019 so hard to explain things to ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I was so upset, I . . . well, I wouldn\u2019t have figured that out in a million years,\u201d Clarissa said slowly, very thoughtfully.\u00a0\u00a0 Then, all of a sudden, she burst into tears.<\/p>\n

Hoss, his face mirroring the despair and misery heard clearly in Clarissa\u2019s weeping, reached out and gently touched her shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDadburn it,\u201d he said in a gloomy tone, his own voice breaking, \u201cApollo \u2018n I\u2019ve spent all day rackin\u2019 our brains tryin\u2019 t\u2019 come up with a way so\u2019s Colleen \u2018n Matt wouldn\u2019t hafta get married tomorrow . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and we haven\u2019t been able to think of anything,\u201d Apollo sadly shook his head.<\/p>\n

Hoss suddenly remembered the bet his sister, Stacy had placed with Mick O\u2019Flynn.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf only there was a\u00a0 way t\u2019 substitute Apollo for Matt t\u2019morrow . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, my dear old friend, you\u2019re a genius!\u201d Colleen cried.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAn absolute genius!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stared over at her, with a bewildered frown on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere IS a way!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Colleen\u2019s face lit up with a dazzling smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you have in mind, Colleen?\u201d Apollo asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cGather \u2018round, Folks,\u201d Colleen invited.\u00a0\u00a0 The four moved into as close to a huddle as the bars between adjoining cells would permit.\u00a0\u00a0 Smiling, Colleen O\u2019Hanlan revealed her plan.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen . . . . \u201d Hoss looked over at her, wondering if that large amount of whiskey she had consumed in so short a time hadn\u2019t somehow permanently left her mentally unhinged.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cY-you can\u2019t DO that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, he\u2019s right!\u00a0\u00a0 You CAN\u2019T do that!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo\u2019s normally robust Mediterranean complexion was several shades paler.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and why not?\u201d Colleen demanded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt would hardly be the first time that sort of thing\u2019s happened, and it sure as shootin\u2019 won\u2019t be the last.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, your reputation— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have any BETTER ideas, Hoss?\u201d Colleen asked.<\/p>\n

Hoss reluctantly shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a wonderful idea,\u201d Clarissa said slowly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d have Apollo, and I\u2019d at least have a shot at snagging Matt, but I think I\u2019D better be the one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you?\u201d Colleen asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo just arrived a couple o\u2019 days ago,\u201d Clarissa hastened to point out.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s hardly enough time for . . . for . . . uuhhh, well . . . you know . . . and then to find out . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBesides, I\u2019D be more believable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . hate to say this, but you may be right,\u201d Colleen said remorsefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cS\u2019ok, it\u2019s true,\u201d Clarissa said.<\/p>\n

\u201cClarissa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I hit you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I made you mad enough to hit me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two women reached out and shook hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all set, then,\u201d Clarissa said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAt the right time, I\u2019ll do what I gotta.\u00a0\u00a0 When I do, you\u2019re gonna have to make it look good, Colleen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, don\u2019t you worry about that,\u201d Colleen promised with relish.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou know, I can\u2019t wait to see the look on the face o\u2019 that stuffed shirt I almost ended up havin\u2019 as a mother-in-law.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither!\u201d Clarissa declared with a feral grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you know that they say about paybacks . . . . \u201d Colleen said.\u00a0\u00a0 She, then turned to Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m curious.\u00a0\u00a0 Wherever did you get the idea of changing Apollo for Matt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, truth t\u2019 tell it was really m\u2019 sister\u2019s idea,\u201d Hoss admitted with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell you give her a big hug and a kiss from the four of us,\u201d Colleen said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen to that,\u201d Clarissa agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, too,\u201d Apollo said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure will,\u201d Hoss promised.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow that things are patched up, I\u2019d best fetch the sheriff to let the pair o\u2019 you outta there.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben sighed contentedly, as he eased himself down into the warm water, then settled himself back to relax and soak.\u00a0\u00a0 The waning light of day streaming in through the bathroom window, casting its brilliance upon the surface of his bath water gently stirred the memory of bright sunlight dancing across the placid surface of Lake Tahoe this afternoon, under a bright, blue cloudless sky.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Grandpa, race ya!\u201d \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben heard his daughter\u2019s voice, saw her eyes, the same brilliant blue as the sky overhead, sparkling with excitement.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re on, Little Sister!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 His youngest son eagerly accepted her challenge, his normally gray-green eyes mirroring the blue of lake and sky.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOn your mark . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGet set . . . . \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGO!\u201d Stacy and Joe shouted in unison as two of them surged forward on Blaze Face and Cochise respectively.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYAH!\u201d Adam shouted, urging his own mount forward, a surprise contender eagerly joining the race.<\/em><\/p>\n

Teresa cupped her hands to her mouth and raucously cheered Adam on.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly O\u2019Hanlan, much to his astonishment, established herself as Joe\u2019s boisterous rooting section, while Hop Sing cheered Stacy on.\u00a0\u00a0 Frankie, Molly\u2019s older brother, watched the race through eyes round with sheer terror, gripping the reins of his own mount so tight, his knuckles had literally turned white.<\/em><\/p>\n

Horse hooves pounded the earth, and splashed through lake water, as Blaze Face, Cochise, and Sport II, caught and claimed the excitement of their riders.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s high pitched, highly infectious rapid fire laughter mixed with Stacy\u2019s surprised, \u201cLOOK OUT, GRANDPA, IT\u2019S ADAM!\u00a0\u00a0 HE\u2019S GAINING ON US!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Hoss studied his father with a bemused look on his face, as he stood before the mirror whipping his shaving soap into a frothy lather.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey, Pa, whatcha thinkin\u2019 about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat race this afternoon . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s all the same to YOU, Pa, I\u2019d just as soon forget all about that race,\u201d Adam said with a grimace.\u00a0\u00a0 He looked over at Hoss, his dark eyes meeting his brother\u2019s pale blue ones.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t a race, Hoss,\u201d he explained, with a wry grin, \u201cit was an embarrassment!\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy and Joe had me beat by a mile.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, it wasn\u2019t THAT bad, Adam,\u201d Ben said, smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou may have finished third out of three, but you sure gave the pair of \u2018em a good run for their money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll the same, I\u2019m woefully out of practice,\u201d Adam confessed as he reached for his own shaving mug, soap, and brush.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I know how t\u2019 gitcha back IN practice real quick, Adam,\u201d Hoss said as he dabbled the foamy shaving soap lather across the lower portion of his face with his brush.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s that, Big Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be moving the herds out t\u2019 summer pasture startin\u2019 Monday mornin\u2019 next week,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAn extra warm body\u2019d be more \u2018n welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d Adam said evasively.<\/p>\n

A smile spread slowly across Ben\u2019s lips as he slid down deeper into the tub.\u00a0\u00a0 Hop Sing, with Teresa\u2019s able assistance, had outdone himself preparing the picnic lunch.\u00a0 The memory of that fried chicken lingered blissfully on his lips and tongue, even now.\u00a0\u00a0 Best of all, there had been none of the clandestine plotting and intrigue that seemed to be going on the night before.\u00a0\u00a0 Just plain, old-fashioned good food and good fun shared with even better company.<\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes again, and turned this thoughts to the evening ahead.\u00a0\u00a0 He could almost see that line of long-legged French can-can gals now, wearing very short skirts,\u00a0 dancing energetically against the dark backdrop of his eye lids.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Older Brother, y\u2019 better go easy on that aftershave cologne,\u201d Hoss teased, as he deftly scraped the razor blade across his face one last time.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA married man shouldn\u2019t be showin\u2019 up at a party with all them pretty dancing gals smellin\u2019 too pretty himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam responded with a melancholy sigh.<\/p>\n

Hoss cast a sidelong glance over at his older brother.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou alright, Adam?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cF\u2019r someone who was all gung ho \u2018n excited \u2018bout this shindig, you\u2019ve pert near turned into a party pooper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben glanced up at his eldest son with concern.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou sure\u00a0 you\u2019re\u00a0 alright?\u00a0\u00a0 That WAS a very bad hit you took on the nose yesterday, then racing Joe and Stacy this afternoon . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa,\u201d Adam said testily.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe nose and eyes LOOK worse than they actually are.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He shook a few more drops of his father\u2019s Old Bay Rum aftershave cologne into his left palm, then gingerly patted his neck and chin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI guess I\u2019m a little concerned about Teresa and the two babies of the family being turned loose on the town tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, for the life of me, I can\u2019t understand WHY you\u2019re so worried,\u201d Ben said, his lips curving upward to form an amused smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure that knock y\u2019 took on the nose didn\u2019t addle your noggin?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf \u2018n I didn\u2019t know better, I\u2019d almost swear you was mistakin\u2019 Joe \u2018n Stacy for Benjy \u2018n Dio.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe comparison is apt,\u201d Adam admitted.<\/p>\n

Ben laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow, Son, I know Joe and Stacy together can be a little high spirited sometimes . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT is the understatement of the century,\u201d Adam said in a wry tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, TERESA will be with them,\u201d Ben pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI KNOW that, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I think you and I both know she\u2019s very much a down to earth, no nonsense woman,\u201d Ben continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf I\u2019ve said this once, I\u2019ve said it a hundred times, the presence of her wisdom and maturity will quell any of the wilder notions that may come into Joe\u2019s or Stacy\u2019s heads.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about some of the wilder notions that may come into the O\u2019Hanlans\u2019 heads?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss looked over at one another, then simultaneously burst into hearty, gut wrenching laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you two mind telling ME what\u2019s so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I don\u2019t think the O\u2019Hanlans could come up with a wild idea to save their lives,\u201d Hoss explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat Frankie . . . . \u201d he shook his head, chuckling, \u201cI\u2019ve NEVER seen anyone more inept, clumsy, \u2018n absent-minded in my whole life.\u00a0\u00a0 That boy couldn\u2019t git into trouble if \u2018n he TRIED.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and Molly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Molly\u2019s the most gentle, soft spoken, well-mannered, young lady it\u2019s ever been my pleasure to meet,\u201d Ben said with a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think some of that\u2019s rubbed off on your sister . . . . \u201d he flinched against his oldest son\u2019s intense, dubious glare, \u201c . . . well, a little . . . I think . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Adam screwed the lid back onto the bottle of after shave cologne and replaced it in the shelf underneath the mirror.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa, what, exactly, are they planning to do in Virginia City this evening?\u201d he tried a different track.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I think Teresa said something about doing a little shopping . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, the only kind of shopping Teresa really enjoys is shopping for books,\u201d Adam said archly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you and I BOTH know there is a dearth of bookstores in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, maybe Teresa needs, uh . . . you know . . . whatever kind o\u2019 things women, uuhh need!?\u201d Hoss suggested.\u00a0\u00a0 Two bright spots of red appeared on his cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hardly think Teresa would take our baby brother and a young man she just met yesterday with her to shop for whatever kind of things women have need of,\u201d Adam argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t suppose she would,\u201d Hoss murmured as two bright spots on his cheeks, deepened to scarlet.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and besides, Big Brother, my wife has enough of . . . THAT stuff to last her the next ten years!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 entire face flushed crimson.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam, h-how do you— ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll just have to trust me on this one,\u201d Adam said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s still possible Teresa has need of SOMETHING,\u201d Ben suggested reasonably, \u201cand last night, Joe talked about attending a poetry reading, or some such.\u00a0\u00a0 In fact, it was HIS idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe . . . OUR Joe . . . suggested they attend a poetry reading?!!\u201d Adam shot Ben a look that clearly asked what rock did he just crawl out from under.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou ARE aware we\u2019re talking about the same guy who considers bawdy limericks and sea chanties great poetry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAww come on, Adam, how much trouble can our li\u2019l brother . . . \u2018n sister, too, for that matter . . . possibly get into with the O\u2019Hanlans, and Teresa along?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cLots!\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

An hour later, Adam descended the stairs, nattily attired in a pair of black slacks, a clean white shirt, freshly pressed and starched courtesy of Hop Sing.\u00a0\u00a0 He wore his black tie loosely around his neck, and carried a black jacket over his arm.\u00a0\u00a0 His own family and their friends, the O\u2019Hanlans, were gathered together over next to the fireplace.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa sat in the middle of the settee, clad in a pair of light gray pants, white shirt, and black tie already neatly tied.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy and Teresa flanked him on either side.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam noted with surprise that the youngest of his siblings were properly attired, as appropriate for dinner and a poetry reading.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe\u2019s beige slacks were clean and pressed, as was his white shirt.\u00a0\u00a0 He wore a black tie, neatly tied, and had his green jacket in hand, casually slung over his shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy was also very conservatively attired in one of the full split skirts, she normally wore to school, hued in dark blue, with matching jacket, and white blouse.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, all the concerns that had plagued him, that he\u2019d tried to voice to his father and brother a short time before, rose to the forefront of his thoughts.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam began to feel foolish for having entertained them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Oldest Brother, you\u2019re lookin\u2019 real spiffy tonight,\u201d Joe complimented him with an affable grin.<\/p>\n

Teresa studied her husband with a jaundiced eye.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAdam Cartwright, you\u2019re looking a little TOO spiffy to suit ME,\u201d she declared rising.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere, let me give you a hand with that tie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s all the same to you, I think I\u2019d rather have PA do the honors,\u201d Adam teased.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWith that look on your face, you\u2019re more apt to STRANGLE me with my own tie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to get movin\u2019 anyway,\u201d Joe said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want the five of you to enjoy yourselves tonight,\u201d Ben said, rising along with Stacy and Teresa.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa, you guys, too,\u201d Stacy replied, as she slipped her arms around his waist and gave him a quick, affectionate squeeze.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on it, Li\u2019l Sister,\u201d Hoss eagerly promised.<\/p>\n

Ben planted a quick kiss on Stacy\u2019s forehead.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYoung Woman, I want you to be on your very best behavior this evening,\u201d he exhorted her, while casting a meaningful, sidelong glance at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, so I went a little overboard worrying,\u201d Adam admitted reluctantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy apologies to offended parties, one and all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and just who ARE the offended parties to whom you\u2019re referring?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust about everyone present, with the exception of Pa, Hoss, and Hop Sing,\u201d Adam sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cApology accepted, Oldest Brother,\u201d Joe said with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cDitto what Grandpa said,\u201d Stacy agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie and I accept your apology, too, Adam,\u201d Molly said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell and good for the lot of you!\u00a0\u00a0 As for ME, however, I\u2019D prefer to reserve judgment on that,\u201d Teresa declared with a saucy grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it would please Your Honor, the counsel for the defense proposes a private meeting in The Judge\u2019s chambers to, uummm . . . discuss the matter?!\u201d\u00a0 Adam suggested, returning her saucy grin with a roguish one of his own.\u00a0\u00a0 He slipped his arms loosely around her waist.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCounsel for the Defense is free to meet with the Judge . . . he can very truthfully say, first thing tomorrow morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Council for the Defense may consider himself on the docket for first thing tomorrow morning,\u201d Teresa said, as she slipped her own arms around his waist and gave him a gentle, very affectionate squeeze.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn the meantime, Adam, you enjoy yourself tonight, too.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She pulled him closer and kissed him soundly on the lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut not too much!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben dutifully saw his youngest children, his daughter-in-law, and the O\u2019Hanlans to the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Hoss?\u201d Ben asked, as he closed the front door behind the five who had just left.<\/p>\n

\u201cI plumb forgot . . . when I was in town earlier, Mrs. Danvers gave me this,\u201d Hoss held up a pale lavender envelope, faintly scented with heather and vanilla.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShe asked me t\u2019 pass it on t\u2019 you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben reluctantly accepted the sealed envelope from Hoss.\u00a0\u00a0 On the front was his name, spelled out in the thin, spidery handwriting he immediately recognized as the hand of Mrs. Myra Danvers.\u00a0\u00a0 He opened the envelope and pulled out the letter, perfectly folded in thirds, and written on paper perfectly matching the envelope.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben opened the letter and read.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what does the good Widow Danvers have to say, Pa?\u201d Adam asked, noting the puzzled frown on his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Ben looked up, shaking his head in utter bewilderment.\u00a0 \u201cThe note says, \u2018My Dear Benjamin . . . .\u2019 \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He exhaled a short, exasperated sigh.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am NOT her DEAR Benjamin!\u201d he stated emphatically.<\/p>\n

Adam deftly slipped the note out of his father\u2019s hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHmmm!\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018My Dear Benjamin, I want to thank you so very much for your generous donation of a wood stove to our fair church.\u00a0\u00a0 Please rest assured that your anonymity will be carefully preserved.\u00a0\u00a0 Your kind generosity is most appreciated.\u00a0\u00a0 Affectionately . . . . \u2019 \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He looked up at his father with a bemused grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAffectionately, Pa?\u00a0\u00a0 You haven\u2019t been toying with this woman\u2019s affections . . . have you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot hardly,\u201d Ben growled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI go out of my way to AVOID her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou remember that visit we had from Cousin Clarissa?\u201d Hoss asked, scowling.<\/p>\n

\u201cThankfully, I wasn\u2019t around,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell as bad as we toldja Cousin Clarissa was, this Widow Danvers is about a hundred times WORSE!\u201d Hoss continued, \u201c . . . and she gives ME a doggoned case o\u2019 the willies on top of that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere in the ever lovin\u2019 world did she get the idea that I donated a wood stove to the church?\u201d Ben demanded, addressing no one in particular.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean you DIDN\u2019T donate a wood stove to the church?\u201d Adam queried with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I most assuredly did NOT!\u201d Ben declared vehemently.<\/p>\n

Adam shrugged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOBVIOUSLY, there\u2019s been a misunderstanding somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOBVIOUSLY!\u201d Ben growled through clenched teeth.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut you mark my words, I\u2019m gonna straighten out that little misunderstanding at the wedding reception\u00a0 tomorrow, first thing . . . AND\u00a0 I\u2019m going to straighten out a few OTHER things, as well . . . once and for all!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Pa,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s gettin\u2019 on time f\u2019r US t\u2019 leave.\u00a0\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we just plain forget about that woman, f\u2019r tonight anyway, and think about havin\u2019 a real good time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, that\u2019s the best idea I\u2019ve heard this evening,\u201d Ben agreed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I get you folks some dessert and coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Cartwrights, Joe, Stacy, and Teresa, and the two younger O\u2019Hanlan offspring had just finished a big supper of meatloaf, mashed potatoes with beef gravy, mixed vegetables, and light fluffy buttermilk biscuits, hot and fresh from the oven at the International Hotel restaurant.<\/p>\n

Joe looked up at their waitress, attired this evening in a green dress that complimented her mane of red curls and her big, green luminous eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 He smiled warmly at her, as his eyes flitted briefly to the wall clock above their heads, then back to the waitress\u2019 face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo thank you, Patty,\u201d he said, noting the time was seven forty-two.\u00a0\u00a0 The bachelor party should be well underway by the time they reached the Silver Dollar.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe need to be pushin\u2019 on.\u00a0\u00a0 Please tell the chef it was a real fine meal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it was,\u201d Teresa said, nodding.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 SURE I can\u2019t interest you in some dessert?\u201d Patty said with a coy smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe got cherry pie on special tonight, made by Mrs. Braun herself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds wonderful,\u201d Frankie said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . to pass, I\u2019m afraid,\u201d Joe said quickly, as Molly favored her brother with a dark, murderous glare.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs I said, we\u2019ve got to push on.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ll take the check please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Patty nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be right back,\u201d she promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie,\u201d Molly hissed after Patty had left them to get the check, \u201cwhat did you think you were doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStalling for time, I guess,\u201d Frankie said contritely, then sighed.<\/p>\n

Joe, seeing the worried look on the younger man\u2019s face, smiled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie, there\u2019s absolutely nothing to worry about,\u201d he said, placing a reassuring hand on Frankie\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, then resumed, lowering his voice.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe plan is flawless, absolutely flawless.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re gonna go in, get the music box, and go out.\u00a0\u00a0 Just like that, easy as pie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure, Joe?\u201d Frankie asked anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m positive,\u201d Joe said with a confident smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a simple, but effective strategy.\u00a0\u00a0 In, grab music box, out.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s that simple.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if something goes wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we all work together, and do what we\u2019re supposed to do . . . WHAT can possibly go wrong?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ten minutes later, the five would be raiders stood together in a close-knit circle at the corner where the side alley, leading to the rear of the Silver Dollar Saloon, met with C Street.\u00a0\u00a0 Tonight, less now than twenty-four hours until the much-anticipated Colleen O\u2019Hanlan-Matthew Wilson Wedding, the entire population of Virginia City and surrounding environs was in a festive mood.\u00a0\u00a0 All six of Virginia City\u2019s saloons did brisk business.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk . . . I want the four of ya to wait here,\u201d Joe quietly instructed his cohorts.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBefore we do anything, I need to find out whether or not Sally Tyler convinced Clarissa Starling to give up the music box.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDear God,\u201d Frankie prayed softly and very earnestly, squeezing his eyes shut, \u201cplease make it so Sally Tyler convinced Clarissa to return our music box, please-please-please-please-please-puh-LEESE!\u00a0\u00a0 Do this for me and I\u2019ll give up cigarettes for as long as I live, and even longer than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, I didn\u2019t know you smoked cigarettes,\u201d Stacy whispered with an amused grin on her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe DOESN\u2019T,\u201d Molly said in a wry tone.<\/p>\n

Joe returned a few moments later, his face set with grim determination.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLotus told me it was no dice,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe go ahead as planned.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He paused, and turned to his sister.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStacy, your assignment is to create a diversion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat KIND of diversion did you have in mind, Grandpa?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter, Kid, any kind of diversion, as long as it . . . diverts attention,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, but I need to give some thought to it,\u201d Stacy said moving slightly apart from the others.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, YOUR job is to keep an eye on Clarissa.\u00a0\u00a0 Make sure she doesn\u2019t under any circumstances go up to her room until Teresa and I come back down and give you the high sign,\u201d Joe continued.<\/p>\n

Frankie paled, and swallowed hard.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGosh, Joe, maybe YOU should be the one to keep an eye on Clarissa,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU\u2019RE the one who has a way with the ladies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, you\u2019ll be FINE,\u201d Joe promised with an encouraging smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, what\u2019ll I say to her?\u201d Frankie asked, horror stricken.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0 Do I look like a script writer?\u201d Joe demanded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLook, if all goes well, you won\u2019t have to say a thing to her.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re gonna go in, grab the music box, and be right out faster \u2018n striking rattler, like I keep tellin\u2019 ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so, Joe, I really gosh-a-roonies hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly,\u201d Joe said, turning to Frankie\u2019s sister and Stacy\u2019s best friend, \u201cyou\u2019ll be in the saloon standing next to the back door.\u00a0\u00a0 When you see Teresa and me coming with the music box, you\u2019ll signal to Stacy and Frankie.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly nodded.<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his sister-in-law.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa, you and I will go up to Clarissa\u2019s room,\u201d he said with gleeful relish.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll stand guard in the hall, while I go into the lady\u2019s room and fetch the music box.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa favored her young brother-in-law with the same knowing glare she turned on her own two children when she knew they were up to mischievous no good.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSlight change in plans, Joe,\u201d she said with mock severity.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU will stand guard in the hall whilst I search the lady\u2019s room.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe knew better than to waste time and energy arguing the matter by the determined look on Teresa\u2019s face.\u00a0\u00a0 The disappointment on his face was a veritable comic relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, any questions?\u201d Teresa aptly took the reins of leadership, while Joe nursed his momentary upset.<\/p>\n

The others shook their heads.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, are you ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she replied, ignoring the sudden, sharp stab of conscience.\u00a0\u00a0 She swallowed, reminded herself silently and firmly that what she was about to do was for a very good cause, then pulled herself up to full height.\u00a0\u00a0 With her face set with stubborn resolve, she started walking toward the swinging saloon doors.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it, Kid,\u201d Joe reasserted his role as head honcho.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019re you planning to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust keep your eyes peeled, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy said, as she sauntered past him into the saloon.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, in the back room, the men who had arrived for Matthew Wilson\u2019s bachelor party were clustered in a semi-circle around the make shift bar.\u00a0\u00a0 The groom-to-be stood in the center, as the guest of honor, with his best man beside him on his right.\u00a0 \u00a0Apollo Nikolas stood on the other side of Adam, grinning from ear to ear.\u00a0\u00a0 Most of the other men in the room, knowing of the triangle involving the sailor, the prospective bride, and the groom-to-be, looked back and forth, from Matt to Apollo, their eyes shining with anticipation and excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatthew, tomorrow, you and the lovely Colleen O\u2019Hanlan will take the plunge into the deep, and sometimes HOT waters of holy matrimony,\u201d Adam said, blissfully ignorant of the explosive potential existing between the two men flanking him on either side.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 got that right, Adam, m\u2019 boy,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan loudly voiced his agreement.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter two o\u2019clock tomorrow afternoon, your life will irrevocably change,\u201d Adam continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo more women, no more drinking and carousing \u2018til the wee hours of the morning, no more women, no more hunting and fishing trips off in to the woods alone or with others, no more women, no more poker games with your buddies . . . make that your FORMER buddies, and . . .\u00a0 did I already mention no more women?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d the men chorused in loud, resounding unison.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, all you married men out there, let\u2019s say it together,\u201d Adam prompted.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO MORE WOMEN!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t heeeear you,\u201d Adam said with a sly grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO MORE WOMEN!\u201d<\/strong> they shouted at the very top of their lungs.<\/p>\n

Adam raised his glass, filled to the brim with the best whiskey money could buy in Virginia City.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cA toast,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTo Matt, I wish you health, prosperity, good fortune, good luck, and an endless supply of good excuses for the rare occasions you DO come home late on Saturday night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo Matt,\u201d the others chorused in near unison, amid the ripple of amused laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Clem, that big guy standin\u2019 on the other side o\u2019 Adam Cartwright . . . is HE the sailor guy whut used t\u2019 be in love with Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, an\u2019 is STILL in love with Colleen O\u2019Hanlan?\u201d<\/p>\n

Clem Foster, the deputy, turned to the grizzled elderly man standing beside him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYep, that\u2019s him,\u201d he replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s Apollo Nikolas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMan!\u00a0\u00a0 I dunno \u2018bout you, but the way he just stands there, smilin\u2019 like he don\u2019t have a care in t\u2019 world, jus\u2019 out \u2018n out gives me the willies.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The old man shuddered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs father of the bride, I\u2019d like to make a toast, but m\u2019 glass is empty,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan Senior said, holding his glass up for all to see.<\/p>\n

Hoss picked up an open whiskey bottle from the bar and refilled his own glass.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere, y\u2019 are, Mister O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d he said, passing the bottle.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss, you\u2019re a good lad,\u201d Francis said, taking the bottle.\u00a0 \u00a0He quickly refilled his own glass, then held the bottle up for all to see.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

A half dozen hands shot up.\u00a0\u00a0 Francis lobbed the bottle in the general direction of Sheriff Roy Coffee.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, when are we gonna see them dancing girls?\u201d the sheriff asked, as he refilled his glass.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Outside, in the public room, Stacy walked boldly up to the bar and took her place beside one of the saloon girls, a woman by the name of Sally Tyler.\u00a0\u00a0 Aged in her late twenties, Sally barely stood five feet two inches wearing high heels.\u00a0\u00a0 Though given to plumpness in general, the plumpness in specific kept her very popular with the male patrons of the Silver Dollar Saloon.\u00a0\u00a0 She had hazel eyes that tonight appeared to match the emerald green of her dress, and a cloud of platinum blonde hair worn in an elaborate coif.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy Cartwright,\u201d Sam, owner and bartender of the Silver Dollar, greeted her with a smile, \u201cI don\u2019t usually see YOU in here without your pa or one of your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, my brother\u2019s around . . . somewhere,\u201d Stacy said, casting her eyes around the crowded room.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That was the pure, one hundred percent, honest truth, even though she neglected to add that two were in the back room attending the bachelor party for Matthew Wilson, and the third was just outside the door.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn the meantime, how about a mug of nice cold beer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as it\u2019s ROOT beer,\u201d Sam said pointedly, \u201cor sarsaparilla, if you prefer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, please make it root beer, Sam,\u201d Stacy sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 She, then, turned and gawked at Sally, her blue eyes focused on the latter\u2019s yellow tresses.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Sally flinched under Stacy\u2019s intense scrutiny.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you?\u00a0\u00a0 What are you starin\u2019 at?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m looking for the black roots,\u201d Stacy said a tad too innocently.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlack roots?!\u201d Sally favored Stacy with a murderous glare.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have you know, Miss Stacy Louise Cartwright— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s Stacy ROSE Cartwright, Sally,\u201d Stacy corrected, wincing against that bothersome conscience of hers again.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe name change was official a couple o\u2019 days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever you say, Miss Stacy ROSE Cartwright,\u201d Sally continued not bothering to conceal her growing annoyance and vexation.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have you and anyone else know for that matter that this platinum blonde hair is pure one hundred percent natural.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry I offended you, Sally, honest,\u201d Stacy took a step backward and raised her hands defensively.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI could have sworn . . . .\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She turned and gave a long, meaningful look in the general direction of Laurie Lee Bonner, standing on the other side of the room watching a high stakes poker game in progress.<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee was twenty years old, with a body flat and round in all the right places.\u00a0\u00a0 Tonight, she wore a stunning bright red gown, that complimented her ruddy complexion, shining black hair, and dark brown eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a well-known fact among the residents of Virginia City and surrounding ranches, that she and Sally were bitter rivals.\u00a0\u00a0 Laurie Lee stood directly behind the one player who seemed to be having a non-stop winning streak, deftly massaging his shoulders.<\/p>\n

Sally\u2019s eyes followed the line of Stacy\u2019s gaze.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou mean to tell me she\u2019s the one who— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t hear it from me,\u201d Stacy said solemnly.\u00a0\u00a0 That, too, was the honest to goodness, one hundred percent, pure truth.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf!\u00a0\u00a0 She\u2019s got HER nerve, telling everyone I have black roots,\u201d Sally muttered, glaring daggers at the unsuspecting Laurie Lee, \u201c \u2018specially since I know for fact that she gets that fancy shade of black hair from an India ink bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes peroxide come in a bottle, too?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeroxide?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs in Peroxide Queen of Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid she say that?\u201d Sally shrieked in outrage.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike I said before, you didn\u2019t hear it from me,\u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI absolutely refuse to call Matt Wilson my son-in-law,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan belligerently informed the other men at the bachelor party.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNot now, not never.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He paused, and broke into a wide grin.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s \u2018cause I\u2019ll always think of \u2018im as a SON.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other men applauded.\u00a0\u00a0 Apollo and Matt turned toward each other, their eyes meeting, holding.\u00a0\u00a0 Roy Coffee shot both of them a stern warning glare.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 now to Matt an\u2019 m\u2019 daughter, Colleen, though SHE\u2019S not here,\u201d Francis continued.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMay your years together be long, an\u2019 full of happiness.\u00a0\u00a0 May your children . . . my GRAND-children . . . be many an\u2019 full t\u2019 brimmin\u2019 with good health.\u00a0\u00a0 Good health to the groom an\u2019 may the bride live forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

The men toasted and most downed their whiskey in a single gulp.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy turn to toast,\u201d Blake Wilson yelled out.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m the father of the groom, so it\u2019s my turn to toast.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Matt deftly seized the latter\u2019s father by the elbows and lifted him onto one of the chairs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAttention, Everyone,\u201d Adam called for order.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBlake Wilson would like to propose a toast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, that\u2019s his THIRD TIME,\u201d Hoss complained, grimacing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen are we gonna have them can-can gals?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPatience, Son,\u201d Ben said, amused by his middle son\u2019s eagerness.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAll good things come to he who waits.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam,\u201d Apollo said tapping the eldest Cartwright son on the shoulder, \u201cI think the whiskey\u2019s gettin\u2019 low.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to worry, Apollo, there\u2019s more under the table,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Apollo shook his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLook again,\u201d he said lifting the tablecloth.\u00a0\u00a0 There remained not a single case of whiskey.<\/p>\n

Adam turned to his younger, bigger brother, standing next to their father.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, we\u2019re running very low on the whiskey,\u201d he said, taking great care to keep his voice down.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWouldja\u00a0 mind going out and asking Sam for more?\u00a0\u00a0 He told Pa he\u2019d keep some extra aside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Adam,\u201d Hoss agreed, \u201cbut I\u2019d better dadburn sight NOT miss them can-can gals.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t, Big Brother, you have my solemn word,\u201d Adam promised, punctuating his words with a resounding hiccup.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded and walked, none too steadily, toward the closed door leading out into the public bar room.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll teach that no good bitch to go around tellin\u2019 folks I get my hair color out of a bottle,\u201d Sally Tyler vowed.\u00a0\u00a0 With an enraged growl, she downed the remained of her beer in a single gulp, then stomped across the room, making a beeline toward Laurie Lee.<\/p>\n

Stacy discreetly followed, weaving her way among the crowd at the bar with root beer mug in hand.\u00a0\u00a0 She was so intent on following Sally, she neglected to watch where she was going.\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly she bumped hard against one of the patrons.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, Young Fella.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Hoss.<\/p>\n

For one brief heart-stopping moment, Stacy was afraid she was going to faint.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy . . . . \u201d her voice squeaked.\u00a0\u00a0 She swallowed, pushed her hat low over her eyes, and averted her face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy fault, Mister, sorry,\u201d she mumbled, lowering her normal speaking voice an octave.\u00a0\u00a0 She quickly melted into the crowd.<\/p>\n

Hoss took a step toward the bar, then froze.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI could o\u2019 sworn— \u201d he murmured, his brow knotting in a puzzled frown.\u00a0\u00a0 He moved on, shaking his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, can\u2019t be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sally, meanwhile, marched right up to Laurie Lee and tapped her hard on the shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright, Big Mouth,\u201d she spat, \u201cwhere do you get off telling folks I have black roots?\u201d<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee looked up, meeting Sally\u2019s eyes with an indignant glare.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019re you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m talking about you telling every Tom, Dick, and Harry comin\u2019 in here that I get my blonde hair out of a peroxide bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re a no good stinkin\u2019 liar!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t take that from NOBODY,\u201d Laurie Lee yelled.\u00a0 \u201cNOBODY, D\u2019YA HEAR? \u2018SPECIALLY NOT OUTTA MISS PEROXIDE QUEEN O\u2019 VIRGINIA CITY.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT DOES IT!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Sally balled her first and struck Laurie Lee square in the jaw with a good strong right cross.\u00a0\u00a0 Laurie Lee reeled backward, falling into the arms of Clay Hansen, one of the Cartwrights\u2019 neighbors.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, well, well!\u201d Clay declared with an appreciative smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t YOU a nice surprise!\u201d<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee freed herself from his embrace with a vicious elbow jab to the rancher\u2019s ample girth.\u00a0\u00a0 Clay doubled over, instinctively wrapping his arms protectively about his abdomen.\u00a0\u00a0 The movement, combined with several mugs of beer previously consumed, threw him off balance.\u00a0\u00a0 He stumbled and fell against a young man wearing a green leather jacket and a white hat pulled down low over his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cUuhhh!\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018Scuse me, Young Fella,\u201d Clay murmured an apology.<\/p>\n

The young man placed a strong, steadying arm around Clay Hansen\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c \u2018S ok, Sir,\u201d he said in an almost bland monotone.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou alright?\u00a0\u00a0 Y\u2019 almost took a real nasty fall there . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Young Fella, thanks t\u2019 you.\u00a0\u00a0 How\u2019s about I buy ya a drink as a way o\u2019 sayin\u2019 thanks?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI firmly believe in lettin\u2019 the doin\u2019 o\u2019 good deeds be its own reward,\u201d the young man said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t argue with yer beliefs, Son,\u201d he said smiling.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThanks again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 With that the green-jacketed young man disappeared into the crowd.<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee, meanwhile, once having freed herself from Clay Hansen\u2019s embrace, charged Sally with a banshee like scream.\u00a0\u00a0 Sally tried to side step the charge.\u00a0\u00a0 In so doing she tripped over a spittoon and landed in an ungainly heap on the floor.\u00a0\u00a0 Laurie Lee, screaming triumphantly, leapt on her fallen antagonist.\u00a0\u00a0 In a flurry of obscenities and hair pulling, the pair began to roll across the floor.\u00a0\u00a0 A crowd began to gather.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy made her way over toward the poker game, still in progress.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it,\u201d Joe Cartwright turned and whispered to his companions waiting outside the Silver Dollar Saloon.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanna make a toast,\u201d Blake Wilson said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019ll be his FIFTH time,\u201d Roy groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Blake,\u201d Ben decided to take matters into his own hands.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut, seein\u2019 as how I\u2019M father o\u2019 the best man, it\u2019s MY turn.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He raised his glass and roared, \u201cTO THE DANCING GIRLS!\u00a0 TWELVE, COUNT \u2018EM, TWELVE!\u201d<\/p>\n

A six-piece band marched into the room, single file, playing a boisterous French can-can.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 They lined themselves up along the back wall.\u00a0\u00a0 A dozen female dancers entered, right behind the musicians, kicking up their heels.\u00a0\u00a0 Blake Wilson, Francis O\u2019Hanlan, Roy Coffee, and a few of the other men joined the line, interspersing themselves between the dancers.\u00a0\u00a0 The rest clapped, stamped, cheered, and whistled appreciatively.<\/p>\n

\u201cHEY, BEN, C\u2019MON!\u201d Roy, his cheeks flushed and eyes bright, waved his old friend over.<\/p>\n

\u201cMAYBE LATER, ROY!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben waved back, grinning appreciatively from ear to ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cAwww . . . come on, Ben!\u00a0\u00a0 This is the last night o\u2019 Matt Wilson\u2019s life as a free man!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It was Hiram Peabody, the attendant at the stagecoach office.\u00a0\u00a0 He had a glass of whiskey in hand and a big smile in his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t YOU join the chorus line over there?\u201d Ben asked, feeling exceedingly mellow.<\/p>\n

\u201cSissy\u2019d kill me,\u201d Hiram [iii] said blandly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s YOUR excuse?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy two older boys are here, and . . . well, someone\u2019s got to be the grown-up and, you know . . . set the good example?!\u201d<\/p>\n

A sly smile spread across Hiram Peabody\u2019s lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBen, doesn\u2019t settin\u2019 a good example also include showin\u2019 \u2018em how it\u2019s done once in awhile?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, by golly, you\u2019re right!\u201d Ben agreed enthusiastically.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYOU are absolutely right!\u00a0\u00a0 Hold this!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He handed his beer mug, half empty of it\u2019s contents over the short, plump man standing next to him, then set off across the room, beating a straight path toward the dancers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam,\u201d Hoss said frowning, \u201csounds like someone screamin\u2019 out in the public room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cF\u2019r t\u2019 life o\u2019 me, Hoss, I can\u2019t unnerschtan\u2019 how you can hear screamin\u2019 out there with all the screamin\u2019 goin\u2019 on in here,\u201d Adam observed, well on his way to \u2018Bombed Bay,\u2019 a turn of a phrase, coined by his college roommate during his sophomore and junior years at Harvard University, referring to the inebriated state.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Out in the public room, Frankie O\u2019Hanlan spotted Clarissa Starling standing at the edge of the crowd, gathering to watch Sally and Laurie Lee.\u00a0\u00a0 She stood next to Dick Faraday, the new ranch hand out at the Miller ranch.\u00a0\u00a0 Dick was tall, very well muscled, with broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist and washboard flat abdomen.\u00a0\u00a0 Almost everyone of the female persuasion within Virginia City and the surrounding environs drooled over the man.\u00a0\u00a0 Dick had one arm draped possessively around Clarissa\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa, from time to time, smiled up at Dick, though her smile never came close to reaching her eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 Frankie walked over, planted himself right next to her, then turned to gawk.\u00a0\u00a0 Molly discreetly made her way to the rear exit and took her post, while Teresa and Joe, walking single file, headed resolutely in the direction of the stairs.<\/p>\n

The poker game continued, completely oblivious to the saloon girls\u2019 bar room brawl.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy took a new position behind the man winning big at the poker game, and man seated on his right.\u00a0\u00a0 The latter was young, aged in his late teens, impeccably attired in a fashionable three-piece suit.\u00a0\u00a0 He was tall and thin with curly, light brown hair.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy watched as the next hand was dealt.<\/p>\n

Clarissa, in the meantime, shuddered and flinched under Frankie\u2019s relentless and intense scrutiny.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFrankie, go AWAY!\u201d she hissed.<\/p>\n

Joe and Teresa quickly bounded up the stairs while Sam the bartender frantically ran to break up the escalating fight.\u00a0\u00a0 In addition to Sally and Laurie Lee, it had grown to include a half a dozen ranch hands from the Ponderosa, the Miller ranch, and the Five Card Draw, Clay Hansen\u2019s ranch.<\/p>\n

Sally, in her battle against Laurie Lee, managed to squeeze her left leg, bent as far as she possibly could, between herself and her opponent.\u00a0\u00a0 With a powerful shove, she sent her hapless antagonist flying through the air.\u00a0\u00a0 Laurie Lee crashed into Polly McPherson, the local madam at the Virginia City Social Club, the largest bordello on D Street.\u00a0\u00a0 Aged in her mid to late fifties, Polly was a shrewd, hard businesswoman.\u00a0\u00a0 Tonight, she was attired fashionably, by her own definition, in a silk green and gold striped dress that molded to her ample form as if it had been painted on.\u00a0\u00a0 She and Laurie Lee crashed to the floor in an ungainly heap.<\/p>\n

\u201cGET OFF ME, YOU STUPID TWIT!\u201d Polly bellowed.<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee scrambled to her feet and ran, with Sally and Polly in hot pursuit.\u00a0\u00a0 The crowd parted allowing the three enraged women to run through their midst.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Dick,\u201d it was Mick O\u2019Flynn.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCare to place a bet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTen bucks on Polly,\u201d Dick Faraday declared, grinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cGotcha,\u201d Mick made the notation in his little black book.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow \u2018bout YOU, Young Fella?\u201d he said addressing Frankie.<\/p>\n

Frankie said nothing.\u00a0\u00a0 He simply stood, as if glued to the spot, his eyes six inches from Clarissa\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, I told you to GO . . . AWAY!\u201d Clarissa hissed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Sweetheart, that guy botherin\u2019 ya?\u201d Dick queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe certainly is,\u201d Clarissa replied.<\/p>\n

Dick Faraday drew himself up to full height, turned and glared ferociously down at Frankie.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGet lost, Pipsqueak,\u201d he ordered, \u201cor else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cO-o-or else . . . w-what?\u201d Frankie stammered.<\/p>\n

Dick raised a massive, tightly balled fist and held it up three inches from Frankie\u2019s face.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOr else I send ya flyin\u2019 butt over head from here all the way to Carson City,\u201d he threatened.<\/p>\n

Frankie swallowed.\u00a0\u00a0 He desperately wanted to run, but Joe had told him to keep an eye on Clarissa.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cItsa free country, Dick,\u201d he murmured, his heart pounding.<\/p>\n

\u201cMISTER Faraday to you, Pipsqueak.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Mister Faraday, itsa free country.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dick seized Frankie by the lapels and lifted him off the floor with ridiculous ease.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCarson City here you come,\u201d he said menacingly.<\/p>\n

Frankie squeezed his eyes shut.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNuh-nuh-now I lay me down to sleep . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

The crowd divided, half following after Sally Tyler and Polly McPherson in hot pursuit of the hapless Laurie Lee.\u00a0\u00a0 The other half formed a half circle around Dick Faraday and Frankie O\u2019Hanlan.\u00a0\u00a0 Very few noticed the young men wearing the green leather jacket and white hat, weaving his way through the growing crowd, smiling with great satisfaction.<\/p>\n

Laurie Lee, meanwhile, in her mad dash to escape her nemeses, came to an abrupt halt when she plowed into a waiter, carrying a tray full assorted pies, sliced onto generous pieces, to one of the tables.\u00a0\u00a0 The tray smashed into the young man, covering him with its contents.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Laurie Lee gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot half as much as yer gonna be,\u201d the young man replied, seizing a handful of the pie filling dripping from his head, shoulders, and chest.\u00a0\u00a0 He packed it as one would a snowball and hurled it at Laurie Lee\u2019s head.\u00a0\u00a0 She ducked.\u00a0\u00a0 The sticky wad smacked Nick Lee, one of the new men working at the Ponderosa, upside the head.<\/p>\n

\u201cDanny Boy,\u201d Nick turned toward the waiter with an angry scowl.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re gonna get it now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The waiter turned and fled, with Nick in hot pursuit.\u00a0\u00a0 Nick had barely gone a dozen steps, when he slipped on some of the pie goo that had dripped from the waiter onto the floor.\u00a0\u00a0 With an astonished scream he slammed hard into a table occupied by \u201cSlim\u201d Teach, a known troublemaker in town, and Mary Lu, his girl friend.\u00a0\u00a0 Their mugs toppled over, splashing beer on them and on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy dress!\u201d Mary Lu wailed in dismay.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s ruined!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSlim\u201d was out of his chair and seizing Nick by the lapels like a shot.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOk, Pretty Boy, you\u2019re gonna pay for ruinin\u2019 Mary Lu\u2019s dress.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, \u2018Slim,\u2019 it ain\u2019t MY fault,\u201d Nick protested.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDanny Boy over there . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see no Danny Boy here in the middle o\u2019 my table knockin\u2019 our beers all over us, ruinin\u2019 Mary Lu\u2019s pretty dress,\u201d \u201cSlim\u201d said in a low, quiet voice, carrying in it all the power and fury of a storm about to break.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI see you . . . HEY!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He turned and stared at the young man, with curly brown hair sticking out from under a white hat, wearing a green leather jacket standing behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, didn\u2019t mean t\u2019 bump ya,\u201d the young man murmured a hasty apology.<\/p>\n

\u201cYer just lucky I just happen to have another score here t\u2019 settle,\u201d \u201cSlim\u201d said with a venomous glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The young man turned and just seemed to melt into the crowd.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

At the bachelor party, Ben and his oldest son, Adam, stood together at the back of the group, watching the can-can dancers.\u00a0\u00a0 They and most of the guests, including Hoss and Apollo, had formed a line that threaded and wove itself around and through the back room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Adam?\u201d Ben responded breathlessly, while frantically mopping his drenched brow, face, and neck with a handkerchief.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Paris, Sshhh . . . Sss-tacy\u2019s ma . . . she wuz . . . quite a woman, wazzan\u2019 she?\u00a0\u00a0 Beautiful woman . . . fulla fire . . . like . . . like . . . uuhhh, what\u2019s \u2018er name?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou referin\u2019 t\u2019 Don Miguel\u2019s oldest gal [iv]?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s the one!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben grabbed the fresh, cold, nearly full mug of beer from the table next to him and downed two-thirds of it in a single gulp.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYeah . . . Miz Paris sure WAS a woman o\u2019 fire in her own right.\u201d\u00a0 Her memory brought a fond smile to his lips.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFair warnin\u2019, Adam!\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy\u2019s got that same quick, fiery temper.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t sur-prise me,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI also remem\u2019er\u00a0 Marie bein\u2019 a firebrand \u2018ershelf . . . I mean her . . . self.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He took a swig from the bottle in his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYep!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben nodded, his smile broadening.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYep!\u00a0\u00a0 Marie sure was . . . part o\u2019 her charm o\u2019 course . . . same with Paris.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, Pa, I never knew you . . . you were susshhh a . . . a glutton for punishment,\u201d Adam said, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis from a man who\u2019s been married to his own spitfire for the past ten years?\u201d Ben observed with a sly grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cTouche, Pa,\u201d Adam said, laughing out loud.<\/p>\n

\u201cGimme that,\u201d Ben snatched the whiskey bottle from Adam\u2019s hand.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDidn\u2019t I teach y\u2019 boys how t\u2019 share?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . Adam . . . . \u201d Hoss said anxiously, \u201csounds like a real knock down drag out fight\u2019s goin\u2019 on out in the bar room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBig Brudder, yer drunk,\u201d Adam declared with a broad, if lopsided grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Ben!\u00a0\u00a0 Adam!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Roy Coffee stumbled from the line of dancers into the outstretched arms of Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou alright, Roy?\u201d Hoss inquired as he helped the sheriff to steady himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine \u2018n dandy,\u201d Roy replied with a lopsided smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen we gonna have the cake with them gals in it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI almos\u2019 plumb fergot about that, Pa!\u201d Hoss cried out in dismay.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThem poor li\u2019l gals must be suffocatin\u2019 inside that cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter do it now,\u201d Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Adam . . . . \u201d\u00a0\u00a0 His eldest stared back at him with glassy eyes, and a crooked smile.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNever mind, Son,\u201d he sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoss, I need your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben staggered through a back door that led to one of the storerooms.\u00a0\u00a0 By previous arrangement, the cake had been left there.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss gently took his father by the elbow to add a steadying influence to an otherwise topsy-turvy situation.\u00a0\u00a0 Upon reaching the storage pantry, they found the cake sitting in the middle of the room on a cart.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a tall, eight layer cake, ornately decorated with white icing roses, rose buds, ribbons, and pearls.\u00a0\u00a0 The top was graced with a bride and groom figurine.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, that cake don\u2019t look big enough to hold three gals,\u201d Hoss said with a bewildered frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cT\u2019 cake\u2019s prob\u2019ly hollow,\u201d Ben explained.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe gals are actually hiding in the cart.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss had serious doubts, but opted not to press the argument.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d better git it on in there, Pa,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0 He wheeled the cart ahead of him, with Ben following unsteadily behind.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the brawl in the public room had escalated to include most of the Silver Dollar patrons, except for the men involved in the high stakes poker game.\u00a0\u00a0 They played on, oblivious to the noise and chaos around them.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, I call,\u201d the dealer said in a dead monotone.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree ladies.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The man seated on the dealer\u2019s right placed his hand on the table.\u00a0\u00a0 He leaned back in his chair, smiling, as a spittoon sailed through the air in front of him, passing less than six inches from his nose.\u00a0\u00a0 His smile never wavered.<\/p>\n

The man, seated to the right of the player with three queens, threw his cards down on the table in disgust, without showing them.<\/p>\n

\u201cFull house,\u201d the next man declared, placing his spread on the table en masse.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have four of a kind,\u201d the young fashion plate announced with a broad grin.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFour nines!\u00a0\u00a0 I believe four of a kind beats a full house?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sure does, Kid,\u201d the player seated to his right replied in a smooth oily tone.<\/p>\n

The young fashion plate, grinning broadly from ear-to-ear, shot right out of his chair, and reached out to claim the prize piled in the middle of the table.<\/p>\n

The man seated on his right, who had just confirmed his winning hand, reached out and put a restraining hand on the younger man\u2019s forearm.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNot so fast, Kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cB-but you just said— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFour of a kind DOES beat a full house,\u201d the man reiterated.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut YOU still lose!\u00a0\u00a0 I have four ACES.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re cheating!\u201d Stacy cried in outrage.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI saw you slip that ace of spades out from under your shirt sleeve.\u201d<\/p>\n

The winner shot out of his seat.\u00a0\u00a0 He literally towered over Stacy.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou smart mouth kid,\u201d he growled, \u201cI got a good mind to turn you over my knee and— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold this,\u201d Stacy said, throwing her mug, still half full of root beer into the winner\u2019s outstretched hands.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Hoss, meanwhile, rolled the cake in front of the closed door separating the back room from the public room.\u00a0\u00a0 He loudly called for order.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cFolks, we got a nice li\u2019l desert here with just a pinch more o\u2019 sugar \u2018n spice \u2018n everything nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Bout time!\u201d Clem yelled.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I have any volunteers t\u2019 help cut this here cake?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0\u00a0 He immediately regretted his call for volunteers when ninety percent of the guests surged forward en masse, a few running, the vast majority staggering.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss stood rooted to the spot for a brief instant, his blue eyes round with sheer terror.\u00a0\u00a0 Seconds before the surging mass of humanity would have converged on him, Hoss scrambled as fast as his legs could carry him, bellowing with all the power and force of a rutting bull moose.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Just on the other side of the door, Stacy balled her fist and punched the cheating card shark in the stomach as hard as she could.\u00a0\u00a0 The man reeled backward, both hands still clutching Stacy\u2019s half empty mug of root beer, crashing through the door between the public room and the private room where Matt Wilson\u2019s bachelor party was taking place.\u00a0\u00a0 The men, who seconds before were bolting toward the cake and the dancing girls presumably inside, turned and ran helter-skelter in all directions, bumping and colliding into one another.<\/p>\n

The card shark and door fell on top of the cake.\u00a0\u00a0 The cart held for a moment, then with a sickening groan buckled and collapsed.\u00a0\u00a0 The door, with the card shark on top slammed into the floor with a hard thud, sending pieces of cart flying in all directions and crushing the cake to a pulp.<\/p>\n

\u201cThem poor li\u2019l gals!\u201d Hoss murmured with a grimace.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t no gals in that cake,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan declared, thoroughly outraged.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Wave upon wave of relief washed over Hoss like the ever-rolling ocean surf.\u00a0\u00a0 He slowly raised his eyes heavenward, and breathed a quick, heartfelt prayer of thanks.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis is right!\u201d one of the other guests bellowed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere AIN\u2019T \u2018ny gals in that cake!\u00a0\u00a0 There CAN\u2019T be!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is an outrage!\u201d Phineas Burke [v], tailor and once time candidate the office of Virginia City\u2019s mayor, declared.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s t\u2019 best man?\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s quite a ruckus going on down there,\u201d Teresa remarked as she and Joe stealthily made their way down the dark empty hallway toward Clarissa Starling\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told Stacy to create a diversion not raise holy . . . uuhh, heck,\u201d Joe said soberly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSounds more like UNHOLY heck,\u201d Teresa replied.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on, something tells me we\u2019d better grab that music box and get ourselves out of here pronto, if not sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n

They found Clarissa\u2019s room at the far end of the hall, as Lotus had said.\u00a0\u00a0 Teresa placed her hand on the doorknob and turned.\u00a0\u00a0 The door was locked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u201d Joe paled.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t figure on this!\u00a0\u00a0 NOW what\u2019ll we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa deftly removed a hairpin from her coiled chignon.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWatch my back,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll handle this.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Using the pin, she picked the lock in short order, and opened the door.<\/p>\n

Joe stared at his sister-in-law and her handiwork trembling with awe and new respect.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWow!\u201d he whispered.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re good!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy, meanwhile, ducked behind the crowd that had gathered at the poker table and made a point of putting as much distance as she possibly could between herself and the gaping hole where the door, separating back and public rooms, once stood.\u00a0\u00a0 The young man in the green jacket and white hat, followed, weaving his own way discreetly through the crowd.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou done sayin\u2019 yer prayers, Pipsqueak?\u201d<\/p>\n

Something in Dick Faraday\u2019s tone of voice made Stacy glance up.\u00a0\u00a0 That bully from Miller\u2019s ranch had poor Frankie by the lapels with one hand.\u00a0\u00a0 The latter\u2019s feet dangled helplessly in mid-air.\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy, with heart in mouth, looked over at Molly.\u00a0\u00a0 No signal was given.\u00a0\u00a0 She swallowed, then made her way over toward Dick Faraday, Clarissa, and the hapless Frankie.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, three more uninvited guests ended up in the midst of Matt Wilson\u2019s bachelor party:\u00a0\u00a0 the Silver Dollar\u2019s piano player,\u00a0 the card dealer at the high stakes poker game, and a saloon girl.\u00a0\u00a0 The two men ended up in an ungainly heap on top of the unconscious high stakes gambler, still lying sprawled on top of the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, good cake,\u201d the piano player declared, sampling from the remains scattered all over the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss studied some of the scattered remains of cake and icing spread across the floor in an irregular shaped circular pattern, emanating from under the door.<\/p>\n

The saloon girl tripped over the still unconscious gambler\u2019s outstretched arm and tumbled into the line of can-can dancers, knocking three of them to the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s the big idea?\u201d one of the dancers demanded petulantly, a tall, lanky woman with a mop of honey brown curls.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna make somethin\u2019 of it?\u201d the saloon girl challenged.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The saloon girl balled her fist and struck with a good hard left jab, sending the can-can dancer reeling into the outstretched arms of the groom-to-be.<\/p>\n

\u201cOoohh, merci,\u201d the dancer beamed, as she eyed the handsome Matt, up and down from head to toe,\u00a0 very appreciatively.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Matt said with genuine regret.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m getting married at two o\u2019clock t\u2019morrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not married yet,\u201d the dancer hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Miss, bu\u2019 his fiancee\u2019d kill \u2018im,\u201d Adam said, freeing the dancer from Matt\u2019s embrace.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about YOU, Handsome?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis WIFE\u2019d kill him,\u201d Matt said, his words beginning to slur.<\/p>\n

The dancer balled her hand into a tight fist and with one good hard punch sent Matt and Adam both down for the count.<\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss, meanwhile quickly helped the piano player and card dealer to their feet.\u00a0\u00a0 The latter caught rapid movement in his peripheral vision, and glanced up.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . s-say, uhhh . . . Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood rooted to the spot like a deer caught in a strong light by night, staring in shocked horror at the utter chaos in the saloon beyond.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI-I knew somethin\u2019 was goin\u2019 on out there . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Ben slowly looked up.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHELL AND DAMNATION!\u201d<\/strong> he roared.\u00a0\u00a0 The mellowness instantly evaporated, leaving him rudely sober.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen?\u201d it was Roy Coffee at his elbow.\u00a0\u00a0 He turned his head in the direction Hoss and Ben were looking.\u00a0\u00a0 His eyes grew round with horrified astonishment.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat the Sam Hill is goin\u2019 on out there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOff the top of my head, Roy, I\u2019d say that\u2019s all hell breaking loose,\u201d Ben said grimly.<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy,\u201d it was Sam, looking haggard.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYa gotta help me!\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve been trying for the last hour to break things up, but somehow, it keeps getting worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Teresa,\u201d Joe urged.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s taking you so long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t find it,\u201d Teresa cried, panic-stricken.\u00a0\u00a0 The tiny room was littered with the entire contents of the chest of drawers, pulled from neatly folded piles and tossed about maniacally.\u00a0\u00a0 Now, with heart in mouth, she did the same with the clothing hanging in the wardrobe.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat—?!\u201d Joe squeaked.\u00a0\u00a0 He took a moment to try and calm himself.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa, what do you mean you can\u2019t find it?\u201d he demanded, his own panic rising.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s gotta be in there somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy, her lower jaw set with grim, stubborn determination,\u00a0 walked up to Dick Faraday, bold as brass, and tapped him on the shoulder.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou big bully!\u201d she challenged in tones of righteous outrage.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you pick on someone your OWN size?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if it ain\u2019t one o\u2019 the high \u2018n mighty Cartwrights,\u201d Dick sneered, as he opened his hand.\u00a0\u00a0 Frankie fell, hitting the floor with a sickening thud.\u00a0\u00a0 Yet all the while, he kept his eyes riveted to Clarissa.<\/p>\n

Stacy delivered a hard swift kick to the big ranch hand\u2019s left shin, wishing that her brother, Hoss, had been part of THIS caper instead of an invited guest at the bachelor party.\u00a0\u00a0 Dick Faraday hopped up and down on his uninjured leg, bellowing like a sick cow.\u00a0\u00a0 Clarissa exhaled a short, exasperated sigh, turned heel and walked toward the stairs.\u00a0\u00a0 Frankie picked himself off the floor and bounded after her.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Grandpa and Teresa,\u201d<\/em> Stacy urged silently.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s taking so long?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, isn\u2019t that the new man at the Miller ranch?\u201d Ben queried, watching Dick Faraday\u2019s antics.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere, hopping up and down like a rabid jack rabbit,\u201d Ben pointed him out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, and I don\u2019t care,\u201d Roy said irritably, as he pulled his gun from its holster.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to put a stop to these shenanigans once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy pulled his gun from its holster, pointed to the floor and fired.\u00a0\u00a0 The sound of gunfire ricocheted throughout the building, freezing everyone in his or her tracks.<\/p>\n

\u201cOooohhh??\u201d\u00a0 Stacy looked up just in time to see Sheriff Coffee and her father emerge from the back room, both looking angrier than a nest of disturbed hornets.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUUH oh!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU FOLKS, STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE,\u201d Roy Coffee bellowed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019M GONNA GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, come on,\u201d Stacy whispered as she noiselessly dropped to her hands and knees.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe said to watch— \u201d Frankie began, speaking in his normal voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about Clarissa.\u00a0\u00a0 Sheriff Coffee has her over there.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Stacy paused, then added meaningfully, \u201cHe\u2019ll have US, too, if you don\u2019t shut up and follow me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Frankie dropped to his hands and knees beside Stacy, landing with a dull thud.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Praying that the sound of Frankie hitting the floor had not alerted her pa or the sheriff, she half pushed, half dragged Frankie under the nearest table.\u00a0 Fortunately, it provided a good view of the stairs.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Joe started violently when he heard the gunfire downstairs.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTeresa, come on!\u201d he urged, with heart in mouth.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have a real strong feeling that things are about to get real ugly down there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI STILL can\u2019t fi—!\u00a0\u00a0 Wait!\u00a0\u00a0 Here it is!\u201d Teresa found the music box still in its original container hidden under the bed.\u00a0\u00a0 She quickly retrieved it and ran for the door.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee swore Sam and Hoss in as deputies, then ordered them and Clem to confiscate everyone\u2019s weapons. The three men moved through the crowd collecting the guns. Ben stood behind the sheriff watching the proceedings, with a murderous scowl on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you and Adam can g\u2019won home if you want,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure I can\u2019t help, Roy?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can handle it, with Clem, Hoss and Sam helpin\u2019 out,\u201d Roy said. \u201cI already let the other party guests go, since I know for fact none o\u2019 THEM was involved in this fracas.\u201d He paused long enough to manage a weary smile. \u201cG\u2019won, Ben, take Adam home and get him to bed. He\u2019s got a big day ahead of him tomorrow . . . opps! Make that t\u2019day!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned to glance in the back room where Adam, lying stretched out on one of the tables, slumbered in happy oblivion to what was going on around him.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

From her vantage point, Stacy saw Joe and Teresa heading for the top of the stairs, at a dead run. She frantically glanced around, trying to locate her father and Hoss. The former had turned his eyes away from the bar room to speak with Roy Coffee, and the latter was involved in an argument with a patron who refused to surrender his weapon. Stacy immediately seized the moment and crawled out from under the table, frantically signaling to her brother and sister-in-law. Joe saw her, looked in the direction she pointed and saw their father. His eyes grew round with horror, but he still had enough presence of mind to shove Teresa away from the steps and back down the hall.<\/p>\n

Stacy ducked back under the table, a split second before Ben finished his conversation with the sheriff and returned his attention to the bar room. \u201cOk, Frankie, we\u2019re getting out of here,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOut the front door,\u201d she replied. \u201cFollow me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Joe said to go out where my sister is,\u201d Frankie protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, there\u2019s been a change of plans,\u201d Stacy whispered back tersely. \u201cIf you don\u2019t shut-up and follow me, so help me, I\u2019m gonna throttle you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you would, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWithin an inch of your life,\u201d Stacy hissed. \u201cNow come on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy and Frankie crawled to the wall, keeping as much as possible to the shelter of the tables. When they reached the swinging doors, Stacy, then Frankie, dropped from hands and knees to their bellies. Stacy wiggled quickly under the doors, then unceremoniously pulled Frankie after her. In the public room behind them someone yelled that his wallet was gone.<\/p>\n

Once outside, Stacy and Frankie crawled along the sidewalk past the broken window until they reached the safety of the alley.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cJoe, I thought we were supposed to go out the back door downstairs,\u201d Teresa said, as they fled back down the hall.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t! Sheriff Coffee\u2019s got everyone down there under house arrest,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHoss has been sworn in as a deputy, so HE\u2019S out there making rounds to confiscate weapons, and Pa\u2019s just standing around watching, looking madder \u2018n a wet hen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know, I didn\u2019t see him,\u201d Joe said. \u201cYou and I however have a big problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. We\u2019re trapped!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet . . . exactly,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut the only way out is downstairs,\u201d she hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know another way,\u201d Joe said as they both entered Clarissa\u2019s room. He closed the door and placed a chair under the doorknob.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat other way?\u201d Teresa demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cOver the roof,\u201d he said, opening a window.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re kidding me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Joe said, gesturing toward the open window. \u201cLadies first.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe took the music box from Teresa and set it on the ledge outside, before helping his sister-in-law climb through the open window. He climbed out after, pausing to close the window. \u201cThis way,\u201d he said, picking up the music box. He took Teresa\u2019s hand and led her along the narrow ledge. After a seeming eternity of inching their way down the length of narrow ledge, they finally reached balcony that ran parallel to C Street. Joe signaled for a halt. \u201cOh geeze loo-weeze!\u201d he groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a crowd gathering on the street below. We\u2019ll never make it across that balcony without someone seeing us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW what\u2019ll we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBack track the way we came,\u201d Joe said. \u201cWe\u2019ll sneak out of Clarissa\u2019s room to the room across the hall. The window there opens out onto the alley where we\u2019re meeting the others.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t we go that way in the first place?\u201d Teresa demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe room\u2019s occupied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh great!\u201d Teresa groaned, rolling her eyes heavenward in a silent prayer for fortitude and patience to whatever God or Gods may be listening.<\/p>\n

They reached Clarissa Starling\u2019s room, and re-entered by the same way they had initially left. After handing Teresa the music box, Joe tiptoed across the room and noiselessly removed the chair holding the door. He pressed his ear against the closed door, and listened. All was silent. Gritting his teeth, he put his hand to the doorknob and turned it very slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Teresa demanded sotto voce. \u201cIs the coast clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, with heart in mouth peered out into the hall. \u201cYes, come on,\u201d he hissed.<\/p>\n

Joe and Teresa silently crossed the hallway and ducked through the closed door facing that of Clarissa Starling\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is the meaning of this?\u201d an imperious voice demanded. A large portly man, dressed in flannel gray slacks and navy blue smoking jacket entered the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were in the neighbor hood, so we thought we\u2019d pass through?\u201d Teresa quipped.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph Cartwright!\u201d the man declared with a triumphant smile. \u201cWell! Well! Well! Having you drop in like this just might give me some bargaining leverage with your pa on behalf of the lumbering company.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know this man, Joe?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cJosiah Tucker,\u201d Joe groaned. \u201cHe\u2019s acting as legal representative for a lumber company that wants to cut trees on the Ponderosa\u2019s north west tract.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think they may want to fell trees along the lake as well,\u201d Josiah said smugly.<\/p>\n

\u201cH-how many?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll of \u2018em, all the way along the lake!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m dead!\u201d Joe whimpered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Josiah Honey!\u201d a stunning brunette, clad only in a towel that barely wrapped around her body, emerged from the bedroom area. \u201cWhat\u2019s taking so long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSweetie Pie Honey Bunch, YOU are my salvation,\u201d Joe crowed, as he planted a big sloppy kiss on the woman\u2019s cheek.<\/p>\n

The woman grimaced and wiped her cheek vigorously with the palm of her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know this woman, Joe?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not a question of knowing who the woman IS,\u201d Joe said, greedily savoring the unexpected fruits of victory. \u201cIt\u2019s a matter of knowing who the woman ISN\u2019T?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, who ISN\u2019T the woman?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis woman ISN\u2019T Mister Tucker\u2019s wife,\u201d Joe crowed. He turned and patted Josiah Tucker\u2019s cheek. \u201cDo give my regards to the REAL lovely Mrs. Tucker?\u201d<\/p>\n

Josiah lashed out in anger and frustration. His balled fist connected hard with Joe\u2019s left cheek.<\/p>\n

The force of the blow sent Joe Cartwright stumbling backwards. Less than a half dozen steps later, Joe\u2019s leg slammed against the edge of a low coffee table scattering every last sense of balance to the proverbial winds. Joe frantically waggled his arms in a desperate bid to regain some small measure of equilibrium, all to no avail. He toppled over backwards, screaming loudly. He crashed into the coffee table, shattering it into pieces of kindling.<\/p>\n

Teresa immediately snatched up an oversized vase, filled with fresh flowers, and crept up behind the lawyer.<\/p>\n

\u201cJosiah, look out!\u201d the brunette tried to shout a warning.<\/p>\n

Teresa brought the vase crashing down on his head, before his companion could complete her warning. Josiah Tucker groaned, then collapsed to the floor like a sack of potatoes. She and her young brother-in-law ran for the window and made their escape while the brunette ran to her fallen companion. Joe and Teresa dropped from the window of Josiah Tucker\u2019s room into the alley, where they found Stacy and the O\u2019Hanlans waiting anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was beginning to fear the worst,\u201d Stacy said, feeling almost giddy with relief. She frowned, noting suddenly that her brother sported a nasty looking black eye. \u201cWhat happened to YOU, Grandpa?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe took a short cut through Josiah Tucker\u2019s hotel room,\u201d Teresa explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u201d It took every ounce of will Stacy possessed to keep her voice from rising. \u201cIs he the one who . . . you know, the lumbering contracts?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded, grinning like a the Cheshire Cat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no we\u2019re not,\u201d Joe declared with an impish grin. \u201cThe woman upstairs in the room with Mister Tucker wasn\u2019t MRS. Tucker.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy looked at him in surprise for a moment, then started to giggle. Molly and Joe found themselves giggling right along with Stacy. Teresa succumbed next, followed at long last by Frankie. Their giggles quickly escalated to uproarious laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, we\u2019d better get out of here while the getting\u2019s good,\u201d Joe said, wiping the mirthful tears from his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie and I don\u2019t know how to thank you guys,\u201d Molly said gratefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne way you can thank us is to make sure this gets home safe,\u201d Joe said, as he handed the music box to Molly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet I will,\u201d Molly promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 know? Now that it\u2019s all over . . . I had FUN tonight,\u201d Joe declared with a grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo did I,\u201d Stacy agreed. \u201cThere WERE a few heart stopping moments, though . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow! You Cartwrights sure have some strange ideas of fun!\u201d Frankie said, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever you do, Frankie, please don\u2019t make mention of that to Pa,\u201d Joe cautioned. \u201cThat may start him asking all kinds of embarrassing questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t enjoyed myself so much in years,\u201d Teresa confessed with a smile. \u201cBut, now that the fun\u2019s over, I think we\u2019d all better go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s where you\u2019re wrong, Mrs. Cartwright.\u201d It was Sheriff Coffee, waiting on the sidewalk at the end of the alley. \u201cThe fun ain\u2019t over . . . NOT by a long shot! In fact, the fun\u2019s just about to start.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, what\u2019s this all about?\u201d Joe demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis O\u2019Hanlan, Junior, Stacy Rose, Teresa di Cordova, \u2018n Joseph Francis Cartwright, you\u2019re all under arrest,\u201d he informed them with stiff formality. \u201cTHAT\u2019S what this is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnder arrest?!\u201d Joe echoed incredulously. \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy Rose Cartwright, YOU\u2019RE charged with inciting a riot and vandalism,\u201d Roy said sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201cVandalism?!\u201d Stacy echoed looking at the sheriff askance. \u201cI didn\u2019t break one thing, Sheriff Coffee, I swear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re guilty by association,\u201d Roy snapped. \u201cThat fight you started tore the inside of the Silver Dollar apart. Place looks like a tornado hit it. Y\u2019 oughtta be ashamed o\u2019 yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoo boy! Pa\u2019s gonna have a fit!\u201d Stacy gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 shouldda thought o\u2019 THAT \u2018fore y\u2019 started that fight at the Silver Dollar,\u201d Roy said sternly. He, then, turned his attention to the others and continued to recite the litany of charges. \u201cFrancis Sean O\u2019Hanlan, Junior, YOU\u2019RE charged with harassing Miss Clarissa Starling. Joseph Francis Cartwright and Teresa di Cordova Cartwright, the two of YOU are charged with breaking and entering, and stealing.\u201d He paused a moment to catch his breath. \u201cOh, yeah . . . Joe, you\u2019re also being charged for all the petty thefts that\u2019ve been goin\u2019 on around town over the past couple o\u2019 months.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d Joe shrieked. \u201cNo way!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust about everyone back there in the saloon . . . what\u2019s LEFT of it . . . . \u201d Roy added that last with a hard angry glare at Stacy, \u201c . . . is missin\u2019 something, whether it be a wallet, purse, jewelry, or a watch. Several folks remembered seein\u2019 a green leather jacket and a white hat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, Joe Cartwright was with me the entire evening,\u201d Teresa declared. \u201cI\u2019m willing to swear on a stack of Bibles, if I have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere ain\u2019t too many judges around who\u2019ll take seriously the word of a woman charged with breakin\u2019 into a saloon gal\u2019s room an\u2019 stealin\u2019 her music box, Mrs. Cartwright,\u201d the sheriff pointed out.<\/p>\n

Teresa lapsed into a sullen silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cLast, every one of ya\u2019s been charged with assault and battery. I\u2019ll take that.\u201d Roy deftly confiscated the music box.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, please,\u201d Molly begged. \u201cThat music box is MINE. Frankie and I got it to be a wedding gift for our sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome o\u2019 the gals over at the Silver Dollar says it belongs t\u2019 Clarissa Starling,\u201d Roy said. \u201cYou have a bill of sale for it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have one . . . I think it\u2019s in my purse,\u201d Molly stammered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you accompany the rest of us to my office, as long as you don\u2019t mind keeping company with this lot o\u2019 hooligans?\u201d Roy suggested in a kindlier tone. \u201cY\u2019 can search through your purse there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not under arrest, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Molly, you\u2019re not,\u201d Roy said. \u201cPeople saw you standin\u2019 next to the back door, but to a man said you weren\u2019t involved in the fracas this evenin\u2019.\u201d He glared over at her brother and the Cartwrights. \u201cYou know, Molly, a nice gal like you oughtta be more careful about the company she keeps.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly felt a tremendous sense of relief, mixed with overwhelming guilt.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben, meanwhile, arrived home in a buckboard borrowed from the livery in town. Buck and Sport II, securely hitched to the back end, followed. Adam lay sprawled in the back of the wagon, blissfully snoring away, without a care in the world. Ben turned and wearily shook his oldest son\u2019s shoulder, after bringing the horses to a stop. The lateness of the hour and alcohol consumed at the bachelor party had begun to take its toll. He was ready for bed. \u201cAdam, wake up,\u201d Ben said, trying hard to keep his eyes open just a few moments longer. \u201cWe\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHome, Pa?\u201d Adam murmured without opening his eyes. His jaw went limp again, and his snoring resumed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright! Mister Cartwright!\u201d Hop Sing ran from the house, looking distraught.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, Miss Stacy, and Mrs. Teresa not home yet,\u201d Hop Sing said frantically.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d A sudden rush of adrenalin roused Ben from his lethargy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said Little Joe, Miss Stacy, and Mrs. Teresa not home yet,\u201d Hop Sing repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not possible,\u201d Ben shook his head. \u201cHop Sing, they have to be home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot home. I home all night,\u201d Hop Sing continued.<\/p>\n

The sound of horse hooves abruptly silenced all conversation. It was Hoss, looking grim. \u201cPa, I\u2019m glad I caught you \u2018fore you turned in,\u201d he said. \u201cSheriff Coffee\u2019s got Joe, Stacy, \u2018n Teresa locked up in jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s in jail?!\u201d Ben asked. Granted, Joe\u2019s quick temper occasionally landed him in minor scrapes ending up in the Virginia City jail. Though rare in recent years, this was nothing new. \u201cWait a minute— Hoss, did I hear you say Stacy and Teresa, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn what charge?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChar-GES, Pa,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cJoe and Teresa are charged with breaking into the room of one o\u2019 the gals at the Silver Dollar, an\u2019 stealing a fancy music box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow why would Teresa . . . or Joe for that matter want to steal a music box belonging to a saloon girl?\u201d Ben demanded. \u201cNone of this makes any sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Joe\u2019s also been charged with that rash of thefts that\u2019s been goin\u2019 on around town,\u201d Hoss continued.<\/p>\n

For one brief horrifying moment, Ben was almost sure he was going to faint. \u201cHow is that possible? Except for the curly brown hair, your brother doesn\u2019t begin to fit the description Stacy gave the day before yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems the thief had a field day this evenin\u2019,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cA fair number o\u2019 folks said they remember bumpin\u2019 into a fella wearin\u2019 a green jacket and a white hat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m almost afraid to ask this next question, but how did STACY end up in jail?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cIs SHE charged with stealing a saloon girl\u2019s music box or picking pockets, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Sir,\u201d Hoss replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a relief . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLi\u2019l Sister\u2019s charged with starting that fight at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s dark brown eyes grew round with shocked astonishment. \u201cHoss, did you just say that . . . that Stacy\u2019s charged with starting that ruckus at the Silver Dollar this evening??!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben rolled his eyes and sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Ey, Pa,\u201d Adam roused slightly. \u201cI guesshh nex\u2019 time ya turn Schstacy loosh in Virginny City, you\u2019ll tell \u2018er t\u2019 behave hershelf, an\u2019 y\u2019ll really mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, not another word,\u201d Ben said stiffly, before turning to his second son. \u201cHoss, can you get your brother upstairs to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Pa.\u201d Hoss lifted the somnolent Adam from the back of the buckboard with almost ridiculous ease and slung him over his shoulder. He started for the house. Adam\u2019s body went limp, and he started to snore.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome right back, Hoss,\u201d Ben called him. \u201cYou and I are going back to Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I\u2019d appreciate it very much if you\u2019d rouse Candy or Hank to take care of the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight away, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow,\u201d Ben said, addressing no one in particular, \u201cwould someone please wake me up and tell me I\u2019m dreaming?\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cROY, WHAT THE HELL\u2019S THE MEANING OF THIS?! WHAT ARE MY SON, MY DAUGHTER, AND MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DOING IN JAIL?!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The incarcerated Cartwrights heard Ben\u2019s voice loud and clear in Roy Coffee\u2019s office on the other side of a fast closed door. Stacy and Teresa occupied one cell, while Joe shared the other with Frankie O\u2019Hanlan. Molly O\u2019Hanlan sat glumly on a stool outside the jail cells.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re dead now,\u201d Joe said morosely.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt could be worse, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d sure like to know how,\u201d Joe said, looking over at his sister as if she had just sprouted a matched pair of purple horns.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Pa doesn\u2019t keep his voice down, Sheriff Coffee might arrest him for disturbing the peace and toss him in there with you guys,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Frankie groaned. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna even think about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah? Well that makes TWO of us, Frankie,\u201d Joe agreed wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSurely things aren\u2019t as bad as you\u2019re making out,\u201d Teresa said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, they\u2019re worse actually . . . . \u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and it\u2019s all MY fault,\u201d Molly sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is NOT, Molly O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Stacy said emphatically. \u201cYou get that idea right out of your head. It\u2019s all Clarissa\u2019s fault, if it\u2019s anyone\u2019s! She had no right to keep a music box she knew darn well didn\u2019t belong to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank goodness Molly found the bill of sale in her purse,\u201d Frankie said.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly O\u2019Hanlan showed me a bill of sale, so the charges of stealing have been dropped,\u201d Roy said wearily. \u201cSam said if you\u2019re willing to pay for the damage done to the saloon, he\u2019s willing to drop the rest of the charges.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much?\u201d Ben asked through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

Roy reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out five sheets of paper, all clipped together. \u201cThis is the list of damages, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFIVE PAGES?!<\/strong>\u201d Ben bellowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cTEN pages, Ben,\u201d Roy corrected him in a wry tone. \u201cWhoever wrote that up . . . wrote on BOTH sides.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben snatched the list of damages from the sheriff with a short, curt sigh of pure exasperation. He silently read over the list, and double-checked the figures. \u201cOk, I\u2019ll pay for all the damages,\u201d he finally agreed through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Ben,\u201d Roy said, taking the ring, holding the keys to the jail cells, off its customary hook. \u201cI\u2019ll go back and release them now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben placed a hand on Roy\u2019s shoulder. \u201cNot just yet, Roy,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019d like to visit them first.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben stood in the center of the room, where the jail cells were located, back straight, arms folded across his chest. In his righteous anger he presented an imposing, almost menacing figure. \u201cStacy Rose Cartwright, what have you got to say for yourself?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

Stacy swallowed. \u201cIf you\u2019re asking me whether or not I started that fight at the Silver Dollar, yes, I did,\u201d she replied, laboring to keep her voice even, \u201c . . . kinda . . . sort of.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKinda, sort of?\u201d Ben echoed, favoring his daughter with a dark angry glare. \u201cKINDA, SORT OF?!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t start it directly, Pa,\u201d Stacy explained. \u201cI let Sally Tyler and Laurie Lee Bonner start it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of lies did you tell them to accomplish that?\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t tell any lies at all,\u201d Stacy replied, equally outraged. \u201cI just let them draw their own conclusions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have any idea how much damage was done by letting those two saloon gals draw their own conclusions?\u201d Ben growled.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uh, no . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Ben whipped out the report and started to read. \u201cBroken mirrors, THREE. . . fifty dollars apiece! Broken windows, total one hundred dollars! Smashed inventory . . . three hundred dollars! And the list goes on and on for ten pages,\u201d he yelled. \u201cTEN PAGES!\u201d He paused to take a deep breath. \u201cI trust you have a good explanation for this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir, I do,\u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d be very interested in hearing it,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t tell you, Pa,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHY IN THUNDERATION CAN\u2019T YOU?\u201d Ben exploded.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m not a tattle tale,\u201d Stacy declared. \u201cI freely admit my own part in this, and I\u2019ll face whatever music I have to. But, I won\u2019t tell on someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both father and daughter glared at each other for a long moment, until at length, Ben sighed. \u201cAlright, Stacy, I can\u2019t fault your principles,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m going to deduct the cost of damages from your allowance, however, which by MY calculations you should start seeing again when you turn thirty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uh, Pa?\u201d Joe meekly ventured, \u201cthe ummm . . . reason Stacy, uhm, let Sally and Laurie Lee draw their own conclusions is because I, uhhh . . . I . . . told her to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned and glared at his youngest son. \u201cYou told Stacy to start that fight at the Silver Dollar?\u201d he echoed incredulously.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot exactly, Sir,\u201d Joe said contritely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean not exactly?\u201d Ben demanded. \u201cEither you told Stacy to start that fight, or you didn\u2019t. Which is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cM-My exact words were to . . . to create a diversion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat in the world for?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa, I can\u2019t tell you,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n

Ben exhaled an explosive sigh of pure and simple vexation.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, Joe asked Stacy to create a diversion so I could sneak into Clarissa Starling\u2019s room and get the music box,\u201d Teresa confessed.<\/p>\n

Ben looked over at his daughter-in-law, and rolled his eyes. \u201cThis is getting better all the time,\u201d he said with thinly veiled sarcasm. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose YOU can tell me why, either?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Ben,\u201d Teresa shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright, this is all MY fault,\u201d Molly suddenly burst into tears. \u201cThey did it to help me get my music box back. Please don\u2019t be too hard on Stacy, Joe, and Teresa . . . please?\u201d<\/p>\n

In the face of Molly\u2019s anguished tears, Ben\u2019s anger lessened. He walked over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. \u201cMolly,\u201d he said quietly, \u201cwould you mind telling me the whole story, from the beginning?\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s tale left Ben shaking his head. He wearily summoned the sheriff to release all the prisoners, including Frankie O\u2019Hanlan.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid Joe\u2019s gonna have to stay here, Ben,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat for?\u201d Ben demanded. \u201cI thought we\u2019d cleared everything up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s still the matter of that rash o\u2019 petty thefts, Ben,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Stacy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can, uh . . . clear THAT matter up very quickly,\u201d Stacy ventured a trifle hesitantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cCheck for the tattoo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy\u2019s right,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

Roy shrugged. \u201cJoe,\u201d he turned toward the remaining prisoner. \u201cPlease turn toward the wall and drop your pants.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard the sheriff, Son,\u201d Ben said, taking a measure of perverse enjoyment Joe\u2019s predicament.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW, Joseph,\u201d Ben growled. \u201cI\u2019m tired and I want very much to go home and go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind asking Teresa, Stacy, and Molly to step into the next room?\u201d Joe demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Stacy and Molly,\u201d Teresa said, unable to keep from smiling.<\/p>\n

Teresa quickly ushered the two younger females out of the holding area, into the sheriff\u2019s office. Ben, Frankie, and a very mortified Joe followed a few moments later, with Sheriff Coffee bringing up the rear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna getcha f\u2019r this, Kid, so help me . . . . \u201d Joe, his face still beet red, hissed in his sister\u2019s ear in passing.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk . . . fine! You DO that!\u201d Stacy snapped. \u201cThe next time something like this happens, Grandpa, I\u2019ll go ahead and letcha ROT in jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeedless t\u2019 say the charges against Joe for all the petty thefts can definitely be dropped,\u201d Roy declared with a grin. \u201cOh! By the way, Stacy, I have something for you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh,\u201d Stacy gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got some reward money coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReward money?!\u201d Stacy looked at him askance.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this all about, Roy?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy\u2019s responsible for the capture of one Mister Buck Capshaw,\u201d Roy explained. \u201cHe was the fella you caught cheatin\u2019 at cards, Stacy. Your sucker punch put him down for the count.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSucker punch?\u201d Ben echoed. \u201cWait a minute! Was that the guy who crashed the bachelor party by flying through the door . . . and landing in the cake?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo comment, Pa,\u201d Stacy said very quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis Capshaw fella\u2019s got a list a mile long, Ben, fraud, theft, robbery, murder . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy paled. \u201cMuh, muh, muh m-murder?!\u201d she gulped. For a moment, it looked as though she was going faint right there on the spot.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would serve her right,\u201d<\/em> Ben mused archly, in silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou name it, he\u2019s done it,\u201d Roy blithely rambled on. \u201cThe reward for his capture\u2019s a thousand dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy\u2019s constitution rallied instantly at the mention of the monetary amount of the reward.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, you are, Stacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot so fast,\u201d Ben said, snatching the wad of cash from Roy\u2019s hand before Stacy could so much as touch it. \u201cFirst, I deduct for the damage to the Silver Dollar Saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy\u2019s face fell. \u201cH-how much is there going to be left over, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere,\u201d Ben placed a shiny penny in her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t spend it all in one place,\u201d Ben said wryly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes this mean I can start getting my allowance?\u201d she asked, looking hopeful.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll discuss that later,\u201d Ben said wearily. \u201cFor now, I just want to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

The following morning, Hoss rose at the crack of dawn. He washed and dressed, taking great care to do so quietly, so not to wake the others. He was grimly bound and determined to go for a ride, do his daily chores, muck out the barn, dig a new latrine . . . ANYTHING to avoid putting in an appearance at the breakfast table this morning. After he had finished dressing, Hoss tiptoed across his bedroom to the door. He turned the knob very slowly, with heart in mouth, and opened the door. \u201cI\u2019m sure glad I oiled those hinges when Pa asked me to a couple o\u2019 weeks ago,\u201d Hoss mused in silence.<\/p>\n

He paused briefly at the threshold between his bedroom and the hallway, then taking a deep breath, he stepped into the hall and noiselessly shut the door behind him. Two steps later, he stepped on a loose, creaking floorboard, just outside his father\u2019s bedroom. The noise was almost deafening. Hoss froze. The even rhythm of Adam snoring in his old room at the end of the hall fell out of cadence, as it rose in volume and grew more guttural. After what seemed a dreadfully tense eternity to Hoss, his older brother\u2019s snoring gradually resumed its natural rhythm. There was no noise from his father\u2019s room, or any of the other rooms. Hoss slowly exhaled the breath he had been holding, and continued on toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Hoss,\u201d Ben greeted him as he passed the first landing.<\/p>\n

Hoss started violently. He would have almost certainly taken a tumble down the rest of the stairs had it not been for quick reflexes, enabling him to grab hold of the banister. \u201c \u2018M-mornin\u2019, Pa,\u201d he stammered.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry I startled you,\u201d Ben said rising from the sofa. Though clad in pajamas, robe, and slippers, he looked as if he had not yet been to bed. \u201cYou\u2019re up early this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well, I thought I\u2019d get up an\u2019 get my chores done, \u2018n outta the way, this bein\u2019 Matt \u2018n Colleen\u2019s weddin\u2019 day, \u2018n all,\u201d the words tumbled from Hoss\u2019 mouth, one right after the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe wedding is at two o\u2019clock in the afternoon, Hoss,\u201d Ben said, favoring his second son with a puzzled frown. \u201cYou could have overslept this morning and STILL completed your chores in plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI, uuhh, also thought it might be good t\u2019 get Chubb out for a li\u2019l bit o\u2019 exercise this mornin\u2019, too,\u201d Hoss said a bit too quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBEFORE breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, Son,\u201d Ben said with a bemused look on his face. \u201cIt\u2019s just a little unusual . . . for YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed. There was never any getting around his father, especially at the times he wanted to do so the most. \u201cAlright, Pa, the plain truth of it is, I kinda didn\u2019t want t\u2019 be around when the cattle crud hits the nitro, if y\u2019 get my meanin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Ben said with an odd look on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeein\u2019 as how quiet everyone was comin\u2019 home last night, an\u2019 we all pretty much just went t\u2019 bed, I kinda figured you\u2019d be wantin\u2019 to talk to Joe, Stacy . . . and Teresa, too, I expect . . . in private,\u201d Hoss explained, as he descended the remaining stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that would probably be best,\u201d Ben said slowly, \u201ctalking to them in private, that is . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease . . . don\u2019t be too hard on \u2018em? Maybe they didn\u2019t exactly go about doin\u2019 things quite the way they shudda, but they WERE tryin\u2019 t\u2019 help out a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll . . . try to remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee ya later, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, as he stepped out the front door.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The rest of the Cartwright Clan gathered for breakfast a couple of hours later. Ben, now washed and fully dressed, sat in his usual place at the head of the table, surveying the family members assembled, in silence. Adam, still clad in pajamas and robe, occupied the chair to his father\u2019s left, nursing the royal mother of all headaches. He sat with eyes closed, gingerly massaging his temples, with both elbows flanking a generous plate full of eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, and biscuits, virtually untouched. The savory aroma of food and coffee sent his stomach into agonizing paroxysms. This morning, Joe occupied Hoss\u2019 place at the table, with Stacy in the chair next to him. Teresa demurely sat next to her husband. All three of them stared down at their plates morosely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEat!\u201d Hop Sing sternly admonished, as entered the dining room with a pot of fresh, hot coffee. \u201cHop Sing NOT slave over hot stove to throw food out in garden, feed birds.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben couldn\u2019t help but note that he alone had a decent appetite. \u201cHop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mister Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Adam might be in need of a dose or two of your hangover medicine,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Adam groaned softly. \u201cOh no, Pa, please!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor own good, Mister Adam,\u201d Hop Sing said curtly, as he studied the eldest of the Cartwright offspring with a frown. \u201cMust be well to be best man at wedding. I go . . . fix medicine.\u201d With that, he abruptly turned heel and beat a straight path back to the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks a lot, Pa,\u201d Adam said, wincing on every word. \u201cWhat\u2019d I ever do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, now, Adam, Hop Sing is right,\u201d Ben said in a gentle, but firm tone. \u201cI know it\u2019s a little rough going down . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA LITTLE rough?\u201d Adam moaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, it\u2019s VERY rough going down,\u201d Ben admitted with a reluctant sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201cCare to try for downright repulsive?\u201d Adam countered irritably, as his stomach lurched.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt works,\u201d Ben hastened to point out.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so, but it\u2019s a lot worse than the hangover itself,\u201d Adam groaned, as he rose unsteadily to his feet. \u201cI . . . I\u2019m g-going back to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea, Son,\u201d Ben agreed. \u201cYou want an escort?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks, Pa. I can manage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben waited until Adam was safely upstairs before turning his attention to the three remaining at the table. \u201cI\u2019ve been doing some thinking about last night,\u201d he began. \u201cI realize you three were trying to help out a couple of friends. Things just got . . . a little . . . out of hand, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for putting it diplomatically, Pa,\u201d Joe said contritely. \u201cBut, the truth is, things got \u2018WAY outta hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have one question,\u201d Ben said. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you ask Sheriff Coffee to help you get back the music box?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause we had no concrete proof that Clarissa Starling actually had the music box,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cAll we had was Lotus O\u2019Toole\u2019s word. Sure, I trust HER word more than I trust a lot of other peoples\u2019, but it\u2019s still Lotus\u2019 word against Clarissa Starling\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Ben murmured softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been doing some thinking myself since we got home last night . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis whole fiasco was MY idea,\u201d Joe said. \u201cI was the ring leader. If ANYONE should in any way punished, it should be ME . . . not Stacy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Grandpa, however there\u2019s a bit of a problem with that . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . nobody held a gun to my head and forced me to go along with you last night,\u201d Stacy said. \u201cI agreed of my own free will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKid, your sense of honor\u2019s gonna be the death of you someday,\u201d Joe said quietly, with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2019s YOURS, Grandpa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe most important thing is Molly and Frankie O\u2019Hanlan got their music box back,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI\u2019m also pleased to report that all the charges against you have been dropped, AND the damage done to the Silver Dollar Saloon has been paid for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes this mean you\u2019re not going to . . . to . . . punish Joe and me?\u201d Stacy ventured hesitantly, fearful of asking that question, yet more fearful of NOT asking that question.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t take the pair of ya out to the barn,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cI\u2019ve decided that much. However, I can\u2019t let ya off the hook either. Yes . . . Miss Starling did wrong in keeping that music box to spite Matt and Colleen. But YOU did wrong, too, when you decided to take the law into your own hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you saying we should\u2019ve gone to Sheriff Coffee anyway . . . even though there wasn\u2019t anything he could\u2019ve done?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m saying, Young Woman,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cIn the first place, neither one of you know . . . not for absolute certain . . . that there WASN\u2019T something that Roy could have done. Had you gone to him with everything that Miss O\u2019Toole told YOU, Joe . . . the bill of sale for the music box that Molly had in HER possession . . . Frankie\u2019s story about taking the music box to the Silver Dollar and showing it to Miss Starling, why I\u2019ll betcha Roy would have had a strong enough case to have gotten permission to search the Silver Dollar from top to bottom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t even think of that, Pa,\u201d Joe said contritely.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what if it turned out that Sheriff Coffee couldn\u2019t search the Silver Dollar from top to bottom because it DID come down to things being Miss O\u2019Toole\u2019s word against Miss Starling\u2019s?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, one of the hardest lessons we ALL have to learn is that our legal system isn\u2019t perfect,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cAlthough it works most of the time, occasionally the guilty DO end up going free and the innocent are punished.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not fair!\u201d Stacy declared with an angry scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right. On THOSE occasions, it\u2019s NOT fair,\u201d Ben said, \u201cbut, most of the time, it IS fair, and as responsible citizens, we have an obligation to abide by its laws and the rulings handed down within its courts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven if it meant that Miss Starling ended up keeping the music box Molly and Frankie got for Colleen and Matt?\u201d Stacy pressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Stacy . . . even then, as difficult and as unfair that may have been,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cIf everyone decided to abide only by the laws and court decisions favorable to them, and to disregard the rest . . . there would be no equality . . . no justice . . . no protection . . . no freedom for anyone, especially the poor and the weak among us. You and I are going to have plenty of time to discuss this further because, in addition to extra chores and no allowance for a month, you\u2019re also confined to the house and the yard for the next two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa,\u201d Stacy murmured softly, resigned to paying the piper for her actions the night before. At the same time, she was deeply relieved and exceedingly grateful payment didn\u2019t include the trip out to the barn with her father. \u201cDoes this mean I . . . that I can\u2019t go to the wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m willing to make an exception for the wedding,\u201d Ben said firmly, \u201cbut nothing else . . . and that includes training Sun Dancer for the Founders\u2019 Day Race. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa,\u201d Stacy replied. \u201cThat\u2019s understood.\u201d<\/p>\n

Satisfied with his daughter\u2019s response, Ben next turned his attention to his youngest son. \u201cJoe, you\u2019re not a child anymore . . . you\u2019re a grown man,\u201d he began, \u201cand BECAUSE you\u2019re a grown man, I can\u2019t take away your allowance or put you on restriction— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe not, Pa . . . but you COULD withhold my wages, Pa,\u201d Joe said quietly, \u201cfor . . . oh, I think a month would be fair . . . and there\u2019s more than enough extra chores to go around between The Kid AND me over the next couple of weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to do this, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid I do, Stace,\u201d Joe said. \u201cLike Pa just got through saying, I\u2019m a grown man. That means I\u2019ve gotta ACT like one . . . and part of acting like one means owning up to it when I do something wrong, and taking MY punishment, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and you . . . y-you get to s-set a good example for me in the bargain . . . Honorable and . . . and Venerable . . . Older Brother S-Sir,\u201d Stacy said, her voice unsteady and her eyes shining with unusual brightness. Acting purely on impulse, she turned and threw her arms around Joe\u2019s neck and gave him a great big bear hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW you\u2019ve . . . you\u2019ve . . . y-you\u2019ve r-really gone and d-done it, Kid,\u201d Joe said, in a voice equally tremulous, as he wrapped his arms tight around his sister\u2019s shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I want you to know that I\u2019m very proud of you,\u201d Ben said, with all sincerity, his own voice catching. He, then, turned to his daughter-in-law. \u201cTeresa, Adam WAS pretty far out of it when HE came home last night. I seriously doubt he knows what time YOU actually got home, and I give you my word he won\u2019t hear it from me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Ben, I appreciate that,\u201d Teresa said sincerely, \u201cbecause it\u2019s MY place to tell Adam, and I intend to do just that after he\u2019s recovered a bit from his hangover.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTeresa, are you sure—?!\u201d Ben asked, looking over at her with a mixture of puzzlement and admiration.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure, Ben,\u201d Teresa said quietly, with a wan smile. \u201cFirst of all, sooner or later, someone\u2019s going to let slip about last night. It would be a lot better and a lot more honest if Adam heard it first from ME.\u201d She paused briefly, then added, \u201c . . . and . . . I must confess . . . that I laid Adam out like a Persian rug the night HE ended up in jail after the bachelor party for my brother, Miguel. I\u2019d feel like the worst hypocrite in the world if I didn\u2019t at the very least give HIM the chance even the score.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, I think your sense of honor\u2019s going to someday be the death of all THREE of you,\u201d Ben said admiringly, his own eyes suddenly blinking to excess.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Ben,\u201d Teresa said quietly, as she rose. \u201cNow, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I\u2019d like to go upstairs and look in on Adam.\u201d She turned and cast an anxious glance over in the general direction of the stairs. \u201cI sure hope he\u2019s going to be well enough to stand up with his friend, Matt, this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry about a thing about that, Teresa,\u201d Joe said with a confident smile. \u201cHop Sing\u2019s hangover cure goes to work so fast, you\u2019d almost swear it was some kinda powerful hocus-pocus instead of a bunch of dried out weeds thrown into boiling water. Of course, it doesn\u2019t go down real easy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might be a good idea to get Hoss in here, so he\u2019ll be handy in case Hop Sing needs him to hold Adam down long enough to get the hangover cure in him,\u201d Ben said slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy and I\u2019ll go out to the barn and get him, Pa,\u201d Joe said, as he rose from his place at the table, and stretched.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Stacy agreed, as she, also, rose and quickly pushed her chair under the table. \u201cI guess now\u2019s as good a time as any for us to get started on doing those extra chores.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy thoughts exactly,\u201d Joe agreed.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandpa?\u201d Stacy queried as she and Joe made their way across the short distance of yard lying between the front porch and the barn door.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Kiddo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure hope that Molly and Frankie are gonna be alright,\u201d Stacy said with an anxious frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey oughtta be,\u201d Joe said. \u201cAfter we left Sheriff Coffee\u2019s office sometime in the wee hours of the morning, we saw them right to their front door, safe and sound.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU know how Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan is. If she EVER finds out about what happened last night, especially the part about Frankie being arrested and thrown into jail . . . . \u201d Stacy exhaled a long melancholy sigh. \u201cShe\u2019s gonna have a cow and a litter of kittens, too. Poor Frankie and Molly will be in it clear up to their to their necks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI, ummm . . . hate like all get out having to tell ya this, Kid, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s going to be so much a question of IF she finds out, as it\u2019s going to be of WHEN she finds out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWh-WHEN she finds out?\u201d Stacy queried with a sinking heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened at the Silver Dollar last night\u2019s gonna be big news this morning, Kiddo, if it isn\u2019t already,\u201d Joe explained, \u201c . . . and you know how quickly things spread by word of mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Molly,\u201d Stacy shook her head, \u201cand Frankie . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, you run up to your ma\u2019s night table an\u2019 fetch t\u2019 smellin\u2019 salts,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan ordered his eldest child. \u201cFrankie, you\u2019ll find a half full bottle o\u2019 whiskey in t\u2019 bottom left drawer of m\u2019 desk in the den.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that t\u2019 one y\u2019 keep around for medicinal purposes, Pa?\u201d Frankie asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, that\u2019s the very one,\u201d Francis replied.<\/p>\n

Colleen and Frankie ran off to do their father\u2019s bidding.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, a-about last night . . . . \u201d Molly ventured.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you g\u2019won up to your room and wrap up that fine music box, Lass?\u201d Francis replied. \u201cFrankie\u2019s arse\u2019ll be the soup for sure when your ma comes to, but y\u2019 needn\u2019t concern yourself with his misfortunes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do, Pa,\u201d Molly said, \u201cbecause . . . .\u201d She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. \u201c . . . . I was there, too, last night, and . . . I\u2019M the one who made Frankie go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis glanced up at his youngest daughter sharply.<\/p>\n

Molly quickly lowered her eyes to her hands, folded tightly in her lap to avoid her father\u2019s sharp, penetrating gaze. \u201cIt\u2019s true, Pa,\u201d she said quickly. \u201cI told Frankie I\u2019d mop up the streets of Virginia City with him, if he didn\u2019t help us out last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you now?\u201d Francis queried, gazing over at Molly, surprised and bemused.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa.\u201d It was Colleen, still clad in robe and nightgown, returning with her mother\u2019s smelling salts. She unscrewed the lid and held the dark brown vial to her father.<\/p>\n

\u201cGive your ma a good whiff, wouldja, Pumpkin? Two, if she needs it,\u201d Francis instructed, as he rose from his seat on the footstool next to the sofa. \u201cWhen your brother returns with the whiskey, make sure your ma gets a good healthy slug o\u2019 that, too . . . AFTER she comes \u2018round.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa,\u201d Colleen promised. \u201cWhere are you and Molly going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo m\u2019 study,\u201d Francis said. \u201cIt seems Molly an\u2019 I have a wee bit o\u2019 talkin\u2019 to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly wordlessly followed her father out of the living room into the study, wondering if that cold, lead weight she felt in the pit of her stomach was the way a condemned man felt on that last walk to the gallows. \u201cIt could\u2019ve been worse,\u201d she mused in silence. \u201cI might\u2019ve had to confess all to MA, instead of Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis opened the door to his study, then stood aside, gesturing for Molly to enter. Molly swallowed, took a deep breath, and resolutely walked in with posture erect, chin up, and shoulders back.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Lass, perhaps y\u2019 should start at the beginning,\u201d Francis said, taking the chair next to his desk.<\/p>\n

Molly took another deep breath, and told her father everything, beginning with her brother accidentally leaving the music box at the Silver Dollar, and finally ending with everyone, except herself being arrested and thrown into the Virginia City jail.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo . . . how did Frankie get himself OUT of jail?\u201d Francis asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright came and got everyone out,\u201d Molly replied.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and how much do I owe Mister Cartwright for bailin\u2019 your brother outta the hoosegow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, Pa,\u201d Molly replied. \u201cFortunately, I had a bill of sale for the music box, so all the charges against Frankie, and everyone else were dropped.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a mercy, anyway,\u201d Francis said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Stacy, Joe, and Teresa were only trying to help Frankie and me,\u201d Molly said earnestly. \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell me I can\u2019t be friends with Stacy anymore . . . please?\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis smiled. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t think of it, Lass,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Ma?\u201d Molly queried anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Ma?\u201d Molly queried anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll handle your ma,\u201d Francis promised. \u201cThe main thing is you and Frankie have your music box back, all charges have been dropped, and I assume the damages at the Silver Dollar have been paid for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Molly declared, with an emphatic nod of her head. She told her father about the reward money Stacy had earned when she sent the man cheating at cards crashing the bachelor party through the door.<\/p>\n

Francis laughed. \u201cThat lass has Irish blood in her, make no mistake,\u201d he said. \u201cONLY an Irishwoman could be so lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen Frankie and I aren\u2019t in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot with me,\u201d Francis replied. \u201cYour ma\u2019ll be out to blister t\u2019 hides off the pair of ya, no stoppin\u2019 THAT, I\u2019m afraid. But I can an\u2019 do promise there\u2019ll be no other punishment AND any member of the Cartwright family will always be welcome in my house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Molly said. She impulsively slipped her arms around his neck and shoulders and gave him an affectionate squeeze. \u201cI just hope Mister Cartwright will see things as you do, and will go easy on Stacy, Joe, and Teresa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he will, Lass,\u201d Francis said, patting her hand reassuringly.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe WAS awfully mad last night . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs I would have been, \u2018til I\u2019d had a chance t\u2019 think things through,\u201d Francis replied. \u201cI think I can safely say this about Mister Cartwright. His sons and daughter respect him, an\u2019 that\u2019s as it should be, but they\u2019re not afraid of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly remembered how Stacy and Joe both confessed their own roles in last night\u2019s happenings, but steadfastly refused to in anyway cast blame on anyone else, without any fear whatsoever even in the face of Ben Cartwright\u2019s baleful glare and intense questioning. \u201cI think you\u2019re right, Pa,\u201d she said slowly, thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I am,\u201d Francis said, smiling. \u201cNOW, why don\u2019t you g\u2019won upstairs and wrap that fine music box you an\u2019 Frankie got for Colleen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa,\u201d Molly said. She hugged him again, before leaving the study to run upstairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll\u2019s well that end\u2019s well,\u201d Francis sighed, rising from his chair. There would, of course be a few tense moments with his wife, but the worst of things now lay behind them. All that remained was to see his eldest daughter finally married to the man, to whom she had been engaged off and on for the past nine years, and enjoy himself at the reception to follow, with no more mischief, surprises, silliness, or shenanigans.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan couldn\u2019t have been more wrong.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright drew the family buggy, occupied by himself, Stacy, and Teresa alongside the church. His three sons, Candy, and Hop Sing had accompanied on horseback. Despite their having arrived a full half hour before the scheduled start of the wedding, the church was already surrounded by a horde of people, standing upwards of ten to fifteen deep in places, all jostling about for the best spot to watch the arrival of the bride and her family.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood heavens! What a mob!\u201d Stacy said, her eyes round with astonishment.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, whaddya expect, Li\u2019l Sister?\u201d Hoss said with a grin. \u201cIt IS The Weddin\u2019 of the Century, after all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re, uuhh . . . starting to hold up traffic,\u201d Adam observed, noting the single buckboard and two buggies stopped behind them.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like we\u2019re going to have to leave our buggy and horses over at the livery stable,\u201d Ben observed, noting that nearly every square inch of space in front of the church was already occupied by horses, saddled and hitched to buggies. \u201cHoss, why don\u2019t you take Adam\u2019s horse. He needs to get in there, seeing as how he\u2019s best man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Pa,\u201d Hoss replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy and Teresa, I\u2019ll let you out here, too. That way the two of you can g\u2019won in and reserve our seats.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam quickly dismounted, then passed the reins of Sport II over to the waiting hands of his brother, Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright, why don\u2019t you and Hop Sing g\u2019won and get out here, too with the la— \u201d Candy flinched away from the dark glare Stacy leveled in his direction, \u201cI MEAN the, uhh WOMEN!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy triumphantly nodded her approval.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . if Joe can take Thor, I can hitch Hop Sing\u2019s horse to the back of the buggy and take them to the livery, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded in agreement.<\/p>\n

Candy immediately dismounted and after passing Thor\u2019s lead over to Joe, he took hold of the bridle, worn by the horse hitched to the buggy. Adam, meanwhile, gallantly helped his wife out, then watched as his father and Hop Sing climbed down.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful,\u201d Ben exhorted his daughter, as he reached up to give her a hand in climbing down.<\/p>\n

Stacy reached out and took hold of Ben\u2019s extended hand. \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d she murmured gratefully. \u201cI had no idea long skirts were potentially lethal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly when you\u2019re not used to them, Stacy,\u201d Teresa said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cSshhh! I don\u2019t want Pa getting any ideas!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou boys hurry on back,\u201d Ben said, addressing his two younger sons and Candy. \u201cWe\u2019ll save you seats.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll be back as soon as we can, Pa,\u201d Joe promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear . . . the size of that crowd around the church has grown in the few minutes we spent getting ourselves sorted out,\u201d Adam noted.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright you want path clear to door?\u201d Hop Sing offered. Though his tone was casual, there was a wild gleam in his dark eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, thank you, Hop Sing. I think we can manage,\u201d Ben said soberly.<\/p>\n

Ben, Stacy, Adam, Teresa, and Hop Sing instinctively closed ranks as they approached the edge of the crowd thronging the door. Though the uninvited masses jockeyed and jostled each other for position, they politely parted as the Cartwrights approached, clearing a path to the open church door. All five gratefully nodded their thanks in passing.<\/p>\n

Just inside the front door of the church, Blake Wilson, father of the groom, stood greeting the guests as they arrived. \u201cBen, glad you and your family could make it,\u201d he greeted his old friend with a tired smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe almost didn\u2019t,\u201d Ben quipped, as he and Blake shook hands. \u201cThat\u2019s quite a mob outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and it\u2019s growing by leaps and bounds every minute,\u201d Blake sighed. \u201cErma\u2019s fit to be tied! She wanted a solemn, dignified ceremony . . . as befits the weighty significance of the occasion.\u201d The last sentence was uttered in a biting comic parody of Erma Blake\u2019s way of speaking, when caught in the throes of righteous indignation.<\/p>\n

Ben, Adam, and Stacy, who knew Erma Wilson well, laughed uproariously.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe wedding won\u2019t be very dignified without the best man in place,\u201d Adam said as the laughter died down. \u201cMister Wilson, where can I find Matt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s back in the sacristy,\u201d Blake replied with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. Now if you would all be so kind as to excuse me . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mister Wilson?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d be grateful if you\u2019d . . . well, if you could get Matt to relax a little? You\u2019d think the boy was about to go to his own execution t\u2019 look at him. I haven\u2019t seen him THIS tense since the day Erma told him she had signed him up for dance lessons when he was eleven years old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do what I can,\u201d Adam promised, before parting company.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Wilson, seeing as how this is The Wedding of the Century, some UNdignified hoopla\u2019s to be expected, \u201d Teresa said, after Adam had left.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue, Mrs. Cartwright, very true,\u201d Blake agreed readily. He paused, just long enough to cast a furtive glance over his shoulder. \u201cJust don\u2019t utter that particular turn of phrase within my wife\u2019s hearing. She becomes more explosively unstable than a barrel of nitroglycerin on a bumpy road full of potholes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be sure to watch myself,\u201d Teresa promised with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, we\u2019d better get you seated, while there\u2019s still enough places for all of you to sit together,\u201d Blake said. \u201cWe\u2019re dwindling down to standing room only fast \u2018n furious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to save seats for Hoss, Joe, and Candy,\u201d Ben said. \u201cThey\u2019ve taken our horses on down to the livery.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blake nodded, then turned toward the open doorway between the narthex and the sanctuary, and beckoned to one of the ushers.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir?\u201d It was Dillon Grainger, one of Erma Wilson\u2019s nephews. He was a tall, gangly young man, with an unruly carrot colored mop, and cheeks generously dotted with a veritable galaxy of fine reddish orange freckles.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you please seat the Cartwrights?\u201d Blake asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Uncle Blake,\u201d Dillon nodded. The boy turned expectantly toward Ben. \u201cBride\u2019s side or groom\u2019s side, Mister Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEither side is fine, just so long as we can all sit together,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

Dillon gallantly offered his arm to Teresa. Ben and Stacy fell in step behind them, with Hop Sing bringing up the rear. Teresa stepped into the space between pews, and edged her way toward the far end, already occupied by Gretta and Giselle Wren. Stacy followed next, then Ben, and finally, Hop Sing. Hoss, Joe and Candy arrived a few minutes later. Joe took the seat beside his father, with Hoss on his other side. Hop Sing sat down beside Hoss, leaving Candy the end seat.<\/p>\n

Ben, sandwiched between Joe and Stacy, inwardly flinched against the intense gaze of Myra Danvers, seated three rows directly behind them, next to her daughter Pruella. Macon Fitzhugh, his eyes glazed and bloodshot, his walk unsteady, nonetheless assisted two of the young ushers in the task of setting up additional chairs in the aisle alongside the pews.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, things are startin\u2019 t\u2019 get a mite too cozy f\u2019r me,\u201d Hoss remarked sotto voce, as the line of ten people, filling a pew meant to comfortably seat nine, squeezed together to make room for two more.<\/p>\n

Apollo Nikolas and the Hurley family were seated three rows up from the back, on the groom\u2019s side of the church. Harlan spotted Pruella, the grand and glorious love of his life almost immediately, seated on the other side of the room next to her mother. She wore a brilliant, daffodil yellow dress, with matching short waist jacket. The neckline of the dress and sleeves of the jacket were trimmed with white lace and faux pearls. Her hat, the same yellow as dress and jacket, was trimmed with a white ribbon, and dried flowers, hued in complimentary shades of white, yellow, and pink. She wore a pair of white cotton gloves, also trimmed with lace. Harlan gazed over at her appreciatively, noting how closely the dress molded her delightfully curvaceous figure. He established eye contact and smiled. She favored him with a look of pure disdain, then looked away with a subtle toss of her head.<\/p>\n

The ushers were still laboring valiantly to squeeze arriving guests into what little seating space remained, when Clara Mudgely, the church organist arrived, clad in a gown of flowing pink organdy, and primly seated herself before the organ fifteen minutes before the wedding ceremony was scheduled to begin.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Outside, someone shouted, followed by another, then half a dozen. A brief time of silence ensued before the crowd outside began to cheer and whistle raucously.<\/p>\n

Adam turned and looked outside though the open window in the church sacristy, where he and the groom waited for the start of the wedding. There, he saw the O\u2019Hanlan Family making their way toward the open door of the church. Colleen, dressed in her mother\u2019s long, flowing wedding gown, with gauzy veil covering her face, led the way clutching a large bouquet of white roses in one hand, and holding tight to her father\u2019s arm with the other. Molly, the maid-of-honor, dutifully walked along behind her father and sister. Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, weeping copious tears, and hanging on to her son, Frankie, to dear life, followed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatt, the bride and her family\u2019s just arrived,\u201d Adam said, as he labored to tie the groom\u2019s bow tie.<\/p>\n

Matt exhaled a long, melancholy sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatt, would you PLEASE hold still? And smile, for heaven\u2019s sake! I\u2019ve seen happier faces at funerals.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . . . \u201d Matt glanced over his shoulder, double-checking to make sure he and his best man were alone. \u201cAdam, I . . . I\u2019m not sure I, uhhh . . . really wanna go through with this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think it\u2019s a little late now for second thoughts?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I s\u2019pose . . . . \u201dMatt sighed, \u201cbut . . . oh, I don\u2019t know, I . . . I guess I kind of thought . . . well, with all the off and on, on and off again? I dunno, Adam. Maybe what I\u2019m trying to say is . . . I didn\u2019t honestly think things\u2019d really . . . come this far?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMatt, I think you\u2019re more than likely suffering from severe case of the last minute jitters,\u201d Adam said. \u201cTwo minutes before Teresa walked down the aisle, I starting shaking in my boots, LITERALLY, and I broke out in a cold sweat. It was all I could do to keep myself from running . . . it didn\u2019t matter much where . . . just so long as it lay in the opposite direction of where I was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . a-and you still went through with it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I went through with it. And I\u2019ll tell you something else, too, Matt! I\u2019ve never, EVER had cause to regret it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Matt sighed. \u201cI wish I could be as sure as you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce you get yourself out there, and you see Colleen coming down the aisle in her wedding dress, all the nervousness, and the second thoughts will vanish in an instant,\u201d Adam promised, speaking with the quiet confident authority of one who knew. \u201cYou\u2019ll feel a little silly for having had them in the first place, but very glad you didn\u2019t act on them and bail out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Matt sighed again, unable to help but wonder IF what Adam had just said was true, then why, oh why, did he keep wishing with all his heart that the woman who would walk down the aisle in her wedding dress in a few moments was going to be Clarissa Starling?<\/p>\n

Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt, resplendent in his clerical garb, entered the tiny room where Adam and Matt waited for the wedding to begin. \u201cThe bride\u2019s family have arrived,\u201d he announced blithely, \u201cand they\u2019re ready to begin.\u201d<\/p>\n

Matt could feel the blood draining from his face. His knees buckled.<\/p>\n

Adam barely managed to grab him before he collapsed. \u201cSteady, Matt,\u201d he grunted, as he worked to steady the groom on his feet. \u201cAnother fifteen minutes or so, it\u2019ll be all over.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Out in the sanctuary, Dillon escorted the parents of the groom down the aisle, trying his best to project a solemn demeanor to please his aunt while desperately trying to maneuver around and past the people seated in the aisles.<\/p>\n

\u201cDillon, for heaven\u2019s sake STOP looking down at your feet,\u201d Erma Wilson hissed, favoring her young nephew with a dark glare. \u201cStraighten up. Look straight ahead in front of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo as I tell you,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n

Dillon pulled himself up to full height and stared resolutely up towards the altar at the front of the church. Three steps later, he tripped over a purse belonging to one Maybelle Higgs, seated primly in one of the chairs set up in the aisle. Dillon pitched forward, head first, with a strangled cry. He landed, sprawled across the aisle directly in front of his aunt. A smattering of muffled titters could be heard through out the congregation.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for heaven\u2019s sake,\u201d Erma muttered, her face red and ample bosom heaving against the rigid confines of her bodice. She stepped over her young nephew\u2019s form, still lying in the aisle and made her way to her seat.<\/p>\n

Blake Wilson, trying very hard not to smile himself, quickly pulled the boy to his feet and walked him to the pew, where Erma was already seated. She turned and glared daggers at her hapless young nephew as he sat down on the other side of her husband.<\/p>\n

Frankie O\u2019Hanlan followed next, escorting his mother to her place. Every eye in the room was on him, some fearing and others hoping that the O\u2019Hanlan boy, well known for his clumsiness, was going to trip over something as Dillon had. Though Frankie visibly flinched against the intense scrutiny, and slouched more and more with each step, he successfully completed the walk down the aisle without taking a tumble. Erma Wilson, noting Frankie\u2019s ever worsening posture sighed and buried her face in her hands. Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, with tears streaming down her face, meekly followed as Frankie led. He made sure his mother sat down, before taking his place beside her, leaving the aisle seat for his father.<\/p>\n

After the O\u2019Hanlan mother and son were seated, Clara Mudgely began the strains of the wedding march. Reverend Hildebrandt stepped into the sanctuary, followed by Matt and Adam. Molly O\u2019Hanlan walked down the aisle first, chin up, back straight, head held high, displaying all the attitude Stacy Cartwright had ever taught her over the years, and then some.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Molly, way to go,\u201d Stacy murmured sotto voce, as Molly walked by.<\/p>\n

Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, escorted by her father, followed her sister down the aisle. Francis O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s eyes shone with the glitter and sparkle of unshed tears. He nursed the fading remnants of a headache, due in small part to the liquid refreshments consumed at last night\u2019s bachelor party and in very large part to his wife\u2019s reaction upon learning that her younger children were partners in crime with the Cartwrights in the doings at the Silver Dollar.<\/p>\n

\u201cDearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation to join together this Man and this Woman in Holy Matrimony,\u201d Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt, intoned the words of the marriage ceremony, \u201cwhich is an honorable estate, instituted by God, signifying the mystical union between Christ and His Church, which holy estate Christ adorned and beatified with His presence and the first miracle He wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused dramatically.<\/p>\n

\u201cTherefore,\u201d Daniel continued, his voice booming out over the congregation, \u201cif any man can show just cause, why this man and this woman may not lawfully be joined together, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace.\u201d [vi]<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d A strangled sob came from the back of the room. Clarissa Starling rose, with tears streaming down her face. \u201cI tried to keep silent,\u201d she sobbed melodramatically, \u201cbut my conscience just won\u2019t allow it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A shocked murmur rose from the large assembly, as all eyes, all faces turned toward the back of the room. Clarissa let out a loud wail of distress and buried her face in the lace handkerchief in her hand. Sally and Sam were both at her side at once.<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung Lady,\u201d Daniel said in a scathing tone, \u201cWHAT is the meaning of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you asked if anyone c-c-could show just cause as . . . as to why this m-man and th-this woman sh-should not be m-m-married,\u201d Clarissa sobbed. \u201cWell . . . I CAN!\u201d<\/p>\n

The murmuring rose steadily in volume, as people looked at one another in complete and utter bewilderment.<\/p>\n

Ben rolled his eyes heavenward. \u201cJoseph . . . Stacy . . . and YOU, Teresa . . . please tell me you don\u2019t know what this is all about,\u201d he murmured under his breath gazing from one to the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Pa, because I have no idea in the world what this is all about,\u201d Joe said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I can safely say I know as much about this as YOU do, Pa,\u201d Stacy affirmed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, too, Ben,\u201d Teresa said.<\/p>\n

Ben exhaled a sigh of relief. The looks of shock and astonishment on their faces mirrored what he, himself, felt inside, and confirmed for him that the three of them were telling the truth.<\/p>\n

At the front of the room, Reverend Hildebrandt raised his hands, calling for quiet. The murmuring gradually faded to silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Young Lady, suppose you explain yourself,\u201d the reverend said, leveling a disdainful glare in Clarissa\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n

Clarissa pulled herself up to full height, with posture erect, shoulders back, and chin up. \u201cThe reason this wedding should not t-take place is . . . . \u201d she paused for the maximum melodramatic effect, \u201cI\u2019m in the family way, and . . . and HE took me there!\u201d She thrust her arm forward, her first finger unmistakably pointing toward the groom.<\/p>\n

The bride seized her veil and flung it away from her face with a theatrical flourish. \u201cMATTHEW WILSON, YOU . . . YOU . . . YOU NO GOOD, WORTHLESS PIECE OF GOBSHITE!\u201d<\/strong> she howled at the top of her voice, with all the dramatic flair of a well-trained Shakespearian actress. \u201cHOW COULD<\/em> YOU?!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cC-Colleen, I-I . . . she . . . I have n-no idea . . . . \u201d Matt stammered, his eyes round with shock and horror. \u201cI . . . she . . . we, uuhh . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure! That\u2019s what they ALL say!\u201d Colleen balled her fist and belted him with a hard, solid right cross, knocking the hapless groom off his feet. He fell into the steadying arms of his best man. The bride glared at the groom for what seemed a tense eternity, then with an emphatic, disdainful toss of her head, she turned heel and fled up the aisle, leaving her father, and Molly, her maid of honor, staring after her in shocked horror.<\/p>\n

\u201cMagnificent!\u201d Joe Cartwright murmured, gazing at Colleen O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s retreating form with a look of awe and great respect. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t mind marrying her myself.\u201d He nearly jumped out of his skin when a large, muscular hand clamped down on his shoulder. He turned and found himself staring into the stern face of his big brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you even THINK about it, Li\u2019l Brother,\u201d Hoss warned.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, Jack . . . Athena,\u201d Apollo murmured, as he carefully squeezed past his brother-in-law and sister. He was in the aisle, running after Colleen before either of the Hurleys could move, let alone think to question or stop him.<\/p>\n

Hoss stood in his place, tightly sandwiched in between Joe and Hop Sing, watching his old friend making his way back up the aisle after the swiftly retreating bride. \u201cI sure hope Apollo knows what he\u2019s lettin\u2019 himself in for,\u201d he murmured very softly under his breath,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that, Hoss?\u201d Candy standing on the other side of Hop Sing looked over at his with a bewildered frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019, Candy,\u201d Hoss said too quickly. \u201cAbsolutely nothin\u2019 at all!\u201d He was greatly relieved when Candy simply shrugged his shoulders, and returned his attention to the front of the church.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I . . . I . . . she and I . . . Cuh-Cuh-Cluh . . . C-Clarissa . . . we . . . . \u201d Matt desperately tried to appeal to his best man. \u201cAdam, you\u2019ve gotta BELIEVE me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMatthew Wilson, so help me, as God is my witness, I\u2019m gonna break every stinkin\u2019 bone in your body,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan, his face beet red with rage, moved toward the hapless groom.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuh-buh-buh-b-but I . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, Matt, you\u2019re starting to sound like a brooding hen,\u201d Adam whispered, while laboring to support Matt, whose knees had suddenly turned to jelly.<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, standing before the front pew on the right side of the church sanctuary, moaned in anguish, then fainted, collapsing into the arms of her shocked son, Frankie, who stood next to her at the front pew. Matt Wilson fainted an instant later. Adam\u2019s quick action prevented the groom from taking a bad fall to the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is outrageous! Absolutely outrageous!\u201d Erma Wilson, the mother of the groom, declared in a loud booming voice, her ample bosom heaving with righteous indignation. \u201cThat girl is lying! She has to be! MY Matt would NEVER . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes your Matt WOULD, y\u2019 silly ol\u2019 toad!\u201d Sally Tyler yelled back in stolid defense of Clarissa. She moved toward the aisle, with every intention of marching right up to that snooty Erma Wilson and smacking that smug look off her face. Sam and Lotus O\u2019Toole quickly moved to restrain her.<\/p>\n

The murmuring escalated in volume directly proportional to the number of arguments breaking out among the congregation as people began to choose sides. Reverend Hildebrandt desperately tried to call for order. Sheriff Coffee, his face set with grim determination, pushed his way into the aisle, past a shoving match that had developed between Laurie Lee Bonner and Grace Hansen. He walked up the aisle, neatly side stepping Myra Danvers and Miss Brunhilda Odinsdottir, owner of Valhalla, a small but thriving and lucrative ranch south of Virginia City. The Widow Danvers and Miss Odinsdottir were involved in a heated verbal exchange well on its way toward degenerating into a brawl.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, DO something!\u201d Daniel Hildebrandt ordered imperiously, as Roy mounted the three steps up to the church altar.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, seein\u2019 as how you\u2019re askin\u2019 so nicely . . . . \u201d Roy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He pursed his lips together and let out a loud, agonizingly shrill whistle, clearly heard above the escalating verbal din. All name-calling, innuendo, and arguments abruptly ceased. Everyone turned and gazed up at the reverend and sheriff expectantly. \u201cThey\u2019re all yours, Reverend,\u201d Roy said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to see the bride, the groom, their parents, and . . . . \u201d Daniel Hildebrandt glanced over at the angry contingent from the Silver Dollar Saloon, grimacing with obvious distaste, \u201c . . . and other interested parties in my office right now!\u201d He turned to Roy Coffee with a scowl. \u201cYou\u2019d better come along, too, Sheriff. Just in case things get ugly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReverend, that\u2019s past tense,\u201d Adam remarked with a wry smile, \u201cas in things GOT ugly the minute Miss Starling made her announcement.\u201d<\/p>\n

Daniel shot Adam a murderous glare. \u201cBring him,\u201d he ordered curtly, then strode off down the aisle, his robe, cassock and stole flapping vigorously in his wake.<\/p>\n

Adam made eye contact with Hoss, and waved him over to help him carry the still unconscious groom. The former lifted Matt\u2019s feet, while the latter took him by the shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to get to the bottom of this outrage, so help me!\u201d Erma Wilson vehemently declared, her jaw taut with bullheaded determination. She strode down the aisle, following at the retreating reverend\u2019s heels, her own face a mask of wrathful indignation and outrage. Adam and Hoss fell in step behind her, carrying Matt Wilson\u2019s inert form between them.<\/p>\n

Clarissa Starling, with handkerchief clutched in one hand and head held high, followed Adam and Hoss, with Sam, the bar tender, and Sally Tyler flanking her on either side. The angry scowls on their faces gave strong indication the pair of them were out for blood, specifically Matt Wilson\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee paused beside the pew occupied by Ben, Joe, Stacy, Teresa, Candy, and Hop Sing. \u201cBen, would you mind coming along?\u201d he invited in a low voice. \u201cI could sure use your help if things suddenly go to pot in a hand basket in the good reverend\u2019s office.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Roy,\u201d Ben immediately agreed. He fell in step beside the sheriff. Joe and Stacy quickly exchanged glances and nodded. Both of them slipped out of the pew and walked out behind their father before anyone could even think of stopping them.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, you go find Colleen and tell her to meet us in the reverend\u2019s office,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan instructed his son curtly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Frankie nodded and set off.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, you wait here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa,\u201d she nodded.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan half-dragged, half-carried his semi-conscious wife up the aisle, bringing at the rear of the procession heading for a show down in the reverend\u2019s office.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben paused for a moment at the door leading to Reverend Hildebrandt\u2019s office. \u201cJoseph . . . Stacy, I want the two of you to stay right here,\u201d he abruptly turned and ordered his two younger children.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa . . .. \u201d Stacy started to protest.<\/p>\n

Ben favored them both with a glare that held all the promise of a trip to the woodshed, should either so much as sneeze.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Stacy and Joe immediately chorused in unison.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Ben followed Roy Coffee into the tiny, already crowded office of Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt. The clergyman, his face nearly purple with rage, stood next to his massive roll top desk, arms folded tightly across his chest, glaring at the growing assembly.<\/p>\n

Erma Wilson stood on one side of the small room, her body stance echoing that of the reverend, glaring daggers at Sally Tyler, standing directly opposite. Sally\u2019s hazel eyes, riveted to Erma\u2019s angry face, burned with an all-consuming rage. Had it not been for Sam\u2019s firm, restraining hands on her forearms, Sally and Erma would be locked in furious hand-to-hand combat.<\/p>\n

Clarissa had taken up position a little behind Sally and Sam. She kept her face averted to the floor, with her handkerchief held firmly over her mouth.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss stood together beside to the indignant mother of the groom, propping up the now semi-conscious Matt between them. Blake Wilson stood quietly on the other side to his wife, his own face averted to the floor, with hands clasped tight in front of him.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan entered the room his lips thin with white-hot anger. He escorted his moaning wife over to the only chair in the room and gently placed her in it. \u201cColleen will be here directly,\u201d he informed the others tersely. \u201cI\u2019ve sent my son to fetch her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve sent your SON to fetch her?\u201d Erma Wilson rounded furiously upon the father-of-the bride. \u201cYour son can\u2019t find his scrawny rump with both hands!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too bad t\u2019 same can\u2019t be said of YOUR son and his belt buckle, Madam,\u201d Francis growled. \u201cWe wouldn\u2019t be in this mess if it were so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy Matt would NEVER . . . . \u201d Erma sputtered. \u201cNever!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and why NOT?!\u201d Sally demanded. \u201cHe\u2019s a typical red blooded American boy, ain\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Erma gasped, her face pale one minute and an odd shade of purple the next.<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung Lady, you should never address your betters in such a disrespectful fashion,\u201d Daniel Hildebrandt rebuked her imperiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen it\u2019s a real good thing I AIN\u2019T addressin\u2019 my betters right now, ain\u2019t it?!\u201d Sally spat contemptuously.<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT does it!\u201d Erma declared vehemently. She balled her fists, and moved across the room toward her antagonist with murderous fury in her eyes.<\/p>\n

Hoss immediately thrust the entire weight of Matt Wilson\u2019s still unconscious bulk over to Adam. Two quick strides brought him along side of Erma Wilson. \u201cMa\u2019am,\u201d he said touching her shoulder, \u201cthis ain\u2019t gonna solve— \u201d<\/p>\n

Erma Wilson pivoted with astonishing swiftness given her ample bulk, and punched Hoss hard in the stomach.<\/p>\n

\u201cLemme go, Sam,\u201d Sally hissed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSally, behave!\u201d Sam admonished her with a stern glare.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Sam . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll this senseless brawlin\u2019 ain\u2019t gonna solve nuthin\u2019! Now either you behave y\u2019rself, or so help me, I\u2019ll dump Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan right outta that chair and tie YOU up in it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sally glared at Sam, but nodded curtly by way of agreement.<\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright, his face grim, elbowed his way across the room toward his second son\u2019s side. \u201cHoss? You alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss peered down into his father\u2019s anxious face. \u201cI . . . I can\u2019t believe it, Pa,\u201d his voice came in ragged gasps. \u201cMrs. Wilson danged near knocked the wind clear outta me. F\u2019r such a li\u2019l woman, she sure packs a wallop!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want every last one o\u2019 ya t\u2019 simmer down right now!\u201d Roy said sternly. \u201cI\u2019m givin\u2019 t\u2019 lot o\u2019 ya TWO choices. Ya can discuss matters in a calm, civilized manner right here, or y\u2019 c\u2019n do it over in the Virginia City jail. Makes no never mind t\u2019 me either way!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe demand satisfaction!\u201d Sam said grimly. \u201cMatt Wilson\u2019s wronged Clarissa, an\u2019 that\u2019s the whole of it pure \u2018n simple. He ought to be made to do the only honorable thing by her, today, right here and right NOW.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy son will marry that trollop when hell freezes over!\u201d Erma Wilson declared in a loud booming voice. \u201cHe is engaged to Colleen O\u2019Hanlan, he will MARRY Colleen O\u2019Hanlan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t let YOUR son come within a hundred yards o\u2019 MY daughter let alone marry her even if hell DOES freeze over,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan countered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? What\u2019s goin\u2019 on?\u201d Matt stirred with groan.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems you\u2019ve raised quite a furor,\u201d Adam said, as he valiantly labored to steady Matt\u2019s balance.<\/p>\n

Matt glanced at Adam, with a blank, unknowing look on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it seems Miss Clarissa Starling\u2019s going to have a baby,\u201d Adam cheerfully explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is?\u201d Matt\u2019s lower jaw tightened with anger. \u201cThat\u2019s outrageous! Who\u2019s the father?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU are,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

Matt moaned softly, and passed out again.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Folks, we won\u2019t solve anything by all this arguing amongst ourselves,\u201d Daniel called for order, as Colleen and Apollo entered the office. \u201cWe\u2019ll all say our piece one at a time— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs far as I\u2019M concerned, there\u2019s only one thing left to say at this point,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan said, rudely cutting Daniel off mid-sentence. \u201cThe wedding is OFF.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m humiliated!\u201d Myrna O\u2019Hanlan bawled. \u201cAbsolutely humiliated!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI, however, am relieved,\u201d Colleen declared imperiously. \u201cBetter I find out about Matt\u2019s contribution to Miss Starling\u2019s delicate condition NOW than after the ceremony.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna let out a loud, guttural wail and buried her face in her hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister and Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, there\u2019s no need for anyone to be humiliated today,\u201d Apollo Nikolas said. \u201cI\u2019ve loved Colleen since . . . well, since we were fifteen years old. If she\u2019ll have me, I would be honored to take Matt Wilson\u2019s place as the groom right here and right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Apollo,\u201d Colleen replied, as she threw her arms about his neck with a wild, passionate abandon. \u201cYes, yes, a thousand times yes!\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis started over at his eldest daughter and Apollo through eyes round with utter disbelief. \u201cC-Colleen . . . are you sure—!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure, Pa,\u201d Colleen declared with a brilliant, dazzling smile, \u201cas sure as I\u2019ve ever been of anything in my entire life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna, eyes round with shock and face many shades paler than normal, looked over at Colleen and Apollo, now embracing each other like the proverbial long lost lovers, then over at her husband standing just behind them. \u201cFrancis, shu-shu-shu . . . surely . . . y-you\u2019re n-not . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes, I am,\u201d Francis wearily surrendered to the inevitable. \u201cI know this is all very sudden, but if Colleen wants to marry Apollo, we\u2019re not goin\u2019 t\u2019 stand in their way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeak for yourself, Francis!\u201d Myrna growled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMyrna, if they want t\u2019 marry, there\u2019s nothin\u2019 that CAN stop \u2018em, not even t\u2019 likes of a stampede with all t\u2019 cattle from every single last ranch around,\u201d Francis said gently. \u201cColleen \u2018n Apollo ARE of age, an\u2019 besides . . . everything\u2019s already paid for.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna moaned softly.<\/p>\n

Ben immediately caught the knowing smile of pure contentment on his second son\u2019s face. \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uuuhh oohhhm I, ummm . . . I m-mean . . . y-yeah, Pa?\u201d Hoss stammered. The contented smile immediate vanished into the same stricken wide-eyed, pale face Ben remembered seeing when, as a boy, this middle of his was caught red handed with his arm deep in the cookie jar.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon . . . what do YOU know about all this?\u201d Ben asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh . . . uh-b-bout . . . what?\u201d Hoss asked, as tiny beads of sweat began to dot his brow. With trembling hand, he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and removed a clean handkerchief.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you know about Miss Starling . . . and about your friends, Colleen and Apollo?\u201d Ben rephrased his question.<\/p>\n

\u201cI, uhhh . . . Pa, I got no idea . . . n-none in t\u2019 whole wide world . . . WHAT you\u2019re talking about.\u201d Hoss very quickly and very pointedly averted his face and eyes toward the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss . . . . \u201d Ben growled in a low, almost menacing tone, his scowl deepening.<\/p>\n

Hoss sighed. Two irregularly shaped patches of bright scarlet, appeared on his cheeks, standing out in startling contrast against his sickly, ashen gray complexion. \u201cC-Can we, ummm . . . talk about this later?\u201d he asked, finally accepting the inevitable.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on it,\u201d Ben promised.<\/p>\n

Clarissa, meanwhile, moved out from behind Sam and Sally. She crossed the room, pausing briefly to cast a withering glare at Erma, and took up position before Matt, once again regaining consciousness. \u201cI must confess . . . in spite of all the times he\u2019s broken up with me and gone back to Colleen, I . . . well, I still love Matt . . . with all my heart,\u201d she said, her own smile every bit as dazzling as Colleen\u2019s. \u201cMatt Darling, will you marry me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cC-Clarissa?\u201d Matt groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Matt, it\u2019s me,\u201d she said softly, cupping his face gently in her hands. \u201cSeeing as how Colleen\u2019s going to marry Apollo Nikolas . . . will you marry ME? We can make this a double wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Matt sighed, gazing up at her through adoring, calf-like eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh NO!\u201d Erma protested. \u201cNo, no, no, no, NO! I will not permit MY son to— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSave your breath, Erma. The boy\u2019s of age . . . HAS been for quite a while now,\u201d Blake hastened to point out. \u201cHe\u2019s free t\u2019 marry whom ever he dang well likes, whether YOU permit it or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlaaaaa-aaake . . . . \u201d Erma wailed, her eye round with horror.<\/p>\n

Blake Wilson silenced his wife with a curt gesture. \u201cReverend Hildebrandt . . . if Matt \u2018n Miss Starling truly want to make this a double wedding, his ma \u2018n I won\u2019t stand in the way, either.\u201d He looked over at his wife with the most ferocious glare he could muster. \u201cWill we, Dear?\u201d<\/p>\n

For perhaps the first time in her life, Erma Wilson found herself at a complete loss for words. She sighed and shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and if Clarissa wants to marry Matt, all of us at the Silver Dollar stand behind her,\u201d Sam said smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks to me like everything\u2019s settled,\u201d Ben said, feeling dazed and disoriented, like he had just awoken from a very vivid, surreal dream.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it would . . . s-seem so,\u201d Daniel agreed, looking equally perplexed and uncertain.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, will you be my best man?\u201d Apollo asked, as the assembly slowly moved toward the fast closed door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d be proud to,\u201d Hoss agreed with a smug, self-satisfied grin.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re coming!\u201d Joe whispered. \u201cAway from the door, Kid, and act casual.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy and Joe Cartwright moved away from the door, a split second before it opened, and everyone inside began to file out, shaking their heads and muttering amongst themselves. Ben Cartwright\u2019s two youngest children stood side by side, with Joe gazing up at the ceiling and Stacy fixing her gaze on the floor. Both had their arms folded across their chests, and their backs pointedly toward the door to the reverend\u2019s office.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d tell the two of you the Wedding of the Century\u2019s just turned into the DOUBLE Wedding of the Century, if you didn\u2019t already know,\u201d Ben said, placing his arms affectionately about their shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . Stacy and I . . . we, ummm . . . couldn\u2019t help but overhear a few things . . . here and there,\u201d Joe said, his tone a bit too nonchalant.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not, Son,\u201d Ben said casually, \u201cespecially when you and your sister have your ears plastered to the door.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, how did you—!?\u201d Stacy began. Her words ended abruptly with a startled gasp, upon catching sight of the dark, murderous scowl Joe leveled in her direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know the pair of YOU,\u201d Ben said firmly. \u201cNow let\u2019s go. We have a wedding, no! Make that TWO weddings! . . . to attend.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cDearly . . . Beloved. We are gathered here in the sight of God to see this man . . . uhhh MEN! To see these MEN Apollo Nikolas and Matthew Wilson, respectively joined in holy matrimony to this . . . THESE. Women. Colleen O\u2019Hanlan and Clarissa Starling,\u201d Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt continued with the words of the traditional wedding ceremony, still stunned and shaken by the recent chain of events.<\/p>\n

The two couples stood side by side facing the altar, all four of their faces beaming with sublime happiness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho gives this woman, Colleen Bridget O\u2019Hanlan, to be married?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cH-her mother and I do,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan said. Myrna moaned softly, as her eyes rolled up under her eyelids. She wavered, then collapsed once more into the arms of her astonished son.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and who gives THIS woman, Clarissa Margaret Starling, to be married?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d Sam immediately spoke up, proudly grinning from ear to ear, \u201c . . . an\u2019 . . . an\u2019 so does the rest o\u2019 her family at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan carefully lifted the veil covering his eldest daughter\u2019s face. \u201cI love you, Colleen,\u201d he whispered, then tenderly kissed her forehead. He then, took her hand and gently placed it in Apollo\u2019s. \u201cYou better take real good care o\u2019 her, Son, or y\u2019ll answer to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Sir,\u201d Apollo whispered back, his eyes blinking excessively.<\/p>\n

While Francis O\u2019Hanlan returned to his place beside his insensate wife and stricken son, Sam took Clarissa\u2019s hand and placed it in Matthew\u2019s. \u201cAll the best, Clarissa, I\u2019m really happy for you,\u201d his voice caught on the last word. \u201cI only wish your pa could\u2019ve been here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re BOTH here, Sam,\u201d Clarissa whispered back. \u201cI sense the presence of my first pa and my second . . . YOU . . . happens to be standing right in front of me.\u201d She turned, and gently kissed his cheek. \u201cThank YOU, Sam . . . thank you for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam hugged Clarissa, then kissed her forehead, before placing her hand in Matt\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright and Sally Tyler, best man and matron of honor for Matthew Wilson and Clarissa Starling moved from their places behind the couple, as Sam returned to his place next to Sally Tyler. Molly O\u2019Hanlan, serving as maid of honor for her sister Colleen, and Hoss Cartwright, also moved into place.<\/p>\n

Daniel Hildebrandt closed his eyes and took a deep, ragged breath in a desperate attempt to begin composing himself. \u201cDo you . . . Colleen O\u2019Hanlan . . . do you . . . do you, umm do you . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

The minister\u2019s eyes dropped to the open book lying cradled in his hands as the words of the wedding ceremony, words he had long ago committed to memory, suddenly deserted him. For a long moment that seemed to stretch into eternity, he frantically searched for his place amid the printed words through eyes round with horror and dread.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . ummm yes. Do you, Colleen O\u2019Hanlan take this man Apollo Nikolas to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

The good reverend entered into the slow process of recovering a measure of the composure and dignity, lost amid the debacle in his office just a short while ago. Solemn words long ago remembered, also returned. As he sat, bearing silent witness to the vows exchanged between the two couples standing at the front of the church, Ben found his thoughts drifting to the moments he, himself made those same vows and promises to Elizabeth Stoddard, Inger Borgstrom, and Marie di Marigny. He also remembered Paris McKenna, the fourth woman to whom he would have spoken those words, had fate been kinder. Joe and Stacy, seated on either side, saw that their father\u2019s eyes blinked to excess. Ben smiled amid the tears stinging his eyes upon feeling Joe\u2019s fingers gently wrapping around one hand, and both of Stacy\u2019s hands sandwiching his other between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo and Colleen . . . Matthew and Clarissa . . . I now pronounce you respectively husband and wife,\u201d the minister finally declared with a weary smile. \u201cGentlemen, you may now kiss your brides.\u201d<\/p>\n

Apollo and Matthew both caught their new wives up in their arms and kissed them soundly.<\/p>\n

\u201cLadies and Gentlemen,\u201d the minister said, \u201cit is my pleasure to introduce for the first time Mister and Mrs. Apollo Nikolas and Mister and Mrs. Matthew Wilson.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clara Mudgely immediately began to play a triumphant recessional. Colleen and Apollo, hand in hand, led the way, with Matthew and Clarissa following close at their heels. Hoss and Molly followed next, with Adam and Sally Tyler bringing up the rear.<\/p>\n

The congregation rose, after both newly wed couples had recessed back up the aisle, with their attendants following. Joe Cartwright turned to his sister, smiling broadly. \u201cWell whaddya know? You called it, Little Sister! You actually called it!\u201d he proclaimed proudly, in complete oblivion to the look of wild panic on Stacy\u2019s face and her frantic gestures for him to button his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cCalled WHAT, Joseph?\u201d Ben demanded, eyeing his younger children with increasing suspicion and dread.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe double wedding, Pa,\u201d Joe cheerfully rambled on. \u201cI\u2019ll bet she\u2019s the only one in town who bet money that the Wedding of the Century would— \u201d His steady stream of chatter came to an abrupt halt upon catching a good close look at the indignant scowl in his father\u2019s face and the fatalistic resignation on his sister\u2019s. \u201cOops!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNice goin\u2019, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy hissed between clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Joe whispered back.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou WILL be,\u201d Stacy assured him.<\/p>\n

Joe looked from Stacy, to his father, and back once again to his sister. \u201cAm I, ummm . . . right in assuming that Stacy and I . . . that we\u2019re in trouble . . . again?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight on all counts, Son,\u201d Ben said sternly. \u201cHowever, I MAY be inclined toward leniency on ONE condition.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cW-what\u2019s that, Pa?\u201d Stacy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat the pair of you tell me the truth,\u201d Ben said firmly, \u201cand by that I mean the whole, complete, unvarnished truth, with none of your usual creative liberties. Do I make myself clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-Yes, Pa,\u201d Stacy gulped.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerfectly clear,\u201d Joe murmured, while vigorously nodding his head.<\/p>\n

Ben glared at both of them for emphatic good measure. \u201cFirst question. Are there any more surprises?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Stacy immediately replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeastwise none, that WE know of,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cCongratulations, Apollo, an\u2019 welcome to the ranks o\u2019 us landlubbers,\u201d Hoss, grinning from ear to ear, turned and shook hands with the once and former seaman, the instant the two newly wed couples and their attendants stepped into the church narthex.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss,\u201d Apollo said, his facial expression a curious mixture of shock, relief, bewilderment, and a sublime happiness, that seemed to permeate his entire being. \u201c . . . and thank you, thank you, thank you, Old Friend, for standing up with me at the last minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProud t\u2019 do it, Apollo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sally and Clarissa, both weeping tears of happiness, hugged and held on to one another.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, S-Sally,\u201d Clarissa said, her voice breaking, \u201cI . . . I can\u2019t even begin to thank you for . . . for everything you\u2019ve done, since I started work at the Silver Dollar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeein\u2019 you \u2018n Matt together, and the happiness on your face right now . . . that\u2019s thanks a plenty for ME!\u201d Sally said, with a warm, if tremulous smile, and tears cascading freely down her cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cCongratulations, Matt,\u201d Adam, smiling broadly, took Matt\u2019s hand and shook it heartily. \u201cYou certainly made a rapid recovery from those wedding day jitters after Clarissa asked you to marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yeah, I guess I did, didn\u2019t I?\u201d Matt stammered, his face still pale, his eyes round with shock and happy disbelief. \u201cAdam . . . d-do me a favor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Matt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease . . . whatever you do . . . DON\u2019T pinch me. If I\u2019m dreaming all this, I sure as shootin\u2019 don\u2019t wanna wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t think of it,\u201d Adam said, with a smile that lit up his entire face. \u201cI can see by the look on BOTH your faces, that you and Clarissa are going to be every bit as happy as Teresa and I are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Adam,\u201d Matt said smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Colleen, I wish you and Apollo the best,\u201d Molly declared, as she threw her arms around her older sister with wild, joyous abandon.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHonest, Pa! I had no idea the Wedding of the Century was going to be a double wedding,\u201d Stacy passionately declared, \u201cnot until I overheard you say so while I, umm . . . h-had my ear plastered to the, ummm . . . door to the reverend\u2019s office?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen how did you know to place a bet on it?\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt . . . just . . . seemed to be the right thing to do at the time, I guess,\u201d Stacy replied, with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. \u201cBut, I SWEAR . . . I\u2019ll swear on a whole stack of Bibles if you want me to . . . I had absolutely no idea that what just happened was really going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cThat won\u2019t be necessary,\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen . . . you believe me?\u201d Stacy squeaked as wave upon wave upon wave of relief swept over her, leaving her feeling a bit light headed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do,\u201d Ben said earnestly. \u201cStacy, I\u2019m sorry I— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to apologize for thinking I might\u2019ve arranged this, Pa,\u201d Stacy said, as she grabbed hold of the back of the pew in front of her, in order to steady herself. \u201cI\u2019m thinking I oughtta take it as a compliment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA compliment?!\u201d Ben looked over at his daughter as if she had suddenly turned into a prime candidate for a butterfly net and straight jacket.<\/p>\n

\u201cThink about it, Pa . . . if someone DID mastermind all this . . . it was a stroke of pure genius,\u201d Stacy said with a big smile. \u201cIt gives me a nice warm feeling right here . . . . \u201d she gently touched the place right over her heart, \u201cthat you\u2019d actually think I was smart enough to pull something like that off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, I knew early on that you\u2019re capable of doing anything you set your mind to doing,\u201d Ben said as he placed his arm around her shoulder and gently squeezed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Pa, you comin\u2019 to the reception?\u201d It was Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Son, we\u2019re coming,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno what all you were talkin\u2019 about just now, but whatever it was . . . it couldn\u2019t have been anything good, goin\u2019 by the look on your faces a minute ago,\u201d Hoss remarked, as Ben rose from the pew on which he, Joe, and Stacy were sitting.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just trying to tie up a few dangling loose ends,\u201d Ben said, with a meaningful glance at his two younger children.<\/p>\n

Stacy Cartwright, there you are!\u201d It was Mick O\u2019Flynn, grinning from ear to ear. \u201cI must say you pulled it off magnificently! Genius! Nothing less than pure, unbridled genius!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t have a blamed thing to do with this . . . except for placing that bet!\u201d Stacy zealously maintained, afraid now to look over at her father. \u201cIt was a lucky guess, Mister O\u2019Flynn, nothing more!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re too modest, Lass,\u201d Mick said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy daughter\u2019s absolutely right when she says she made a lucky guess,\u201d Ben said quietly. \u201cShe had nothing at all to do with making it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t exactly say THAT, Pa,\u201d Hoss said blithely.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no! I\u2019m doomed!\u201d Stacy groaned. \u201cThanks a lot, Big Brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Hoss, let\u2019s have it,\u201d Ben turned his attention on his middle son. \u201cWhat did Stacy have to do with . . . with whatever plot was afoot to bring about this double wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t have anything to do with it, Pa,\u201d Hoss said flinching against the intensity of his father\u2019s glare, now turned upon him full force. \u201cLeastwise not directly . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by not directly?\u201d Ben demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI m-mean Stacy . . . aww, Pa . . . she just gave me the idea \u2018s all . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was wrong! I\u2019m not doomed . . . I\u2019m DEAD!\u201d Stacy sighed, resigning herself with a fatalistic aplomb to the prospect of having no allowance and being restricted to house and yard for the rest of her entire, natural life.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Stacy didn\u2019t give me the idea by tellin\u2019 me,\u201d Hoss continued, his eyes nervously darting back and forth between the faces of his sister and father. \u201cI just happened to see a page in Mister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s accountin\u2019 book when he dropped it at the Silver Dollar night \u2018fore last. Stacy\u2019s bet was there, right under Joe\u2019s. THAT\u2019S where I got the idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . .and that\u2019s where . . . YOU . . . got the idea to . . . to s-set in motion the plot to . . . to make this a double wedding?!\u201d Ben queried, his voice filled with an odd mixture of bewilderment and a new, grudging respect for his middle son.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I oughtta start at the beginning?\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be an excellent idea, Son,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n

Hoss took a deep breath, and nervously related all that had transpired since his meeting with Apollo Nikolas at Doctor Martin\u2019s office and the former seaman\u2019s ardent declaration of love for the former Colleen O\u2019Hanlan. \u201cThat\u2019s all of it, Pa,\u201d he concluded, looking mildly ill.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a beautiful, beautiful story,\u201d Mick O\u2019Flynn murmured, his voice unsteady. He removed a wrinkled white cotton handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed his eyes. \u201cThe path of true love never runs smooth, but y\u2019 did your part to make it run true for the two couples that got married just now. Someday, Mister Cartwright, you just mark my words now, but someday . . . long after you\u2019re dead of course, T\u2019 Pope\u2019s gonna canonize y\u2019 SAINT Hoss . . . patron o\u2019 hopeless romantics every where.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, I, ummm . . . dunno \u2018bout THAT,\u201d Hoss said, as a big red splotch blossomed on each cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 Stacy, m\u2019 girl, YOU are still t\u2019 proud winner of five thousand dollars,\u201d Mick O\u2019Flynn said, handing her a large envelope, stuffed full.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat much?!\u201d Stacy\u2019s face paled noticeably. She stared down at the envelope in her hands through eyes round with shocked amazement.<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t y\u2019 goin\u2019 to count it?\u201d Mick asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, Mister O\u2019Flynn, right after I . . . I faint,\u201d Stacy said, reaching for the edge of the nearest pew for support.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t need to count it, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d Ben said, easing his daughter into the seat of the pew behind her. \u201cI think we can trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust ME? Now THAT\u2019S peculiar turn uva phrase I\u2019ve not heard applied t\u2019 m\u2019self in a long time,\u201d Mick murmured with a nostalgic smile. \u201cI\u2019ll see you at the reception.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can count on it, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d Joe called after him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I, uuhh . . . get to keep the money?\u201d Stacy asked, after Mick O\u2019Flynn left.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won the money fair and square,\u201d Ben said thoughtfully, \u201cand the single dollar you bet WAS certainly well within your means. However . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHowever . . . what, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt goes into a trust account that you and I are going to set up in your name at the bank first thing Monday morning,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can live with that,\u201d Stacy agreed. \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Stacy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you mind holding on to this envelope for safe keeping while we\u2019re at the reception? I didn\u2019t even think to ask Madame Darnier about pockets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would be more than happy to hold on to your money for safe keeping,\u201d Ben agreed, accepting the envelope. He tucked the envelope securely into the inside pocket of his jacket, then turned his attention back to Hoss, Joe, and Stacy. \u201cShall we go downstairs to the reception?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m ready,\u201d Hoss replied, eagerly anticipating a taste of the wedding cake.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cThere y\u2019 are!\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan greeted the arriving Cartwright clan with a big smile. \u201cAn\u2019 here I was thinkin\u2019 t\u2019 whole lot o\u2019 ya\u2019d skipped out on comin\u2019 to t\u2019 party!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUs? Skip out on a party?!\u201d Joe echoed incredulously. \u201cNot on your life, Mister O\u2019Hanlan!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s absolutely right! We wouldn\u2019t have missed this for the world!\u201d Ben declared, returning Francis\u2019 smile and extending his hand. \u201cCongratulations on your daughter\u2019s marriage, Francis.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you most kindly, Ben,\u201d Francis replied, as they two men shook hands. \u201cIt was a wee bit of a surprise as to t\u2019 way things worked out, but in retrospect, I think it all worked out f\u2019r t\u2019 best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t agree with ya more, Mister O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Hoss declared with a broad grin. \u201cAs a man of our acquaintance just said, the path o\u2019 true love never runs smooth, but it sure as shootin\u2019 ran true f\u2019r Colleen \u2018n Apollo, an\u2019 Clarissa \u2018n Matt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, indeed, it did, Hoss, indeed it did,\u201d Francis agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, you look gorgeous in that dress!\u201d Molly declared, as she and the Cartwright daughter linked arms and moved off toward the punch table together.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo do you!\u201d Stacy declared smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all attitude,\u201d Molly declared proudly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn you, Molly O\u2019Hanlan, attitude looks good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and on YOU a dress looks good,\u201d Molly observed with a smile. \u201cYou ought to try wearing one more often.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy paused mid-stride, and cast a quick, furtive glance over her shoulder. \u201cDon\u2019t you DARE say that where Pa can hear you,\u201d she said sotto voce. \u201cI don\u2019t want him to start getting ideas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout what, Little Sister?\u201d It was Joe, clad in the much-maligned blue suit, a freshly laundered and starched pristine white shirt, and tie. He had a full punch cup in one hand and a hand full of nuts and mints in the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout Stacy wearing a dress more often,\u201d Molly said, before Stacy could make a move to shush her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly, I think that\u2019s a WONDERFUL idea,\u201d Joe declared with an impish grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t agree more,\u201d Molly said, favoring him with a bright, dazzling smile.<\/p>\n

Stacy looked from Molly over to her brother, then back again to Molly, wondering if this was how an animal, ANY animal, felt just after the trap door banged shut.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and you can rest assured that I\u2019m gonna pass your suggestion on to Pa at the earliest opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t suppose there\u2019s any way I can talk you out of it . . . is there, Grandpa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a chance, Kiddo!\u201d Joe resolutely shook his head, taking positive delight in his sister\u2019s discomfiture.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen we\u2019d best fetch down the organ grinder from the attic,\u201d Stacy sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOrgan grinder?!\u201d Joe echoed. \u201cWhy in the world should we fetch that dusty ol\u2019 thing down?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard what Hop Sing said yesterday when we were all at Madame Darnier\u2019s,\u201d Stacy said with a sly grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he say? Refresh my memory!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Refresh my memory . . . . \u2019 WHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright!\u201d Joe growled through clenched teeth. \u201cRefresh my memory PLEASE!\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly, seized by an overwhelming urge to giggle, clapped her hand over her mouth and turned her back on the younger Cartwright offspring.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing said that if I can look this pretty, the least YOU could do is wear that MONKEY suit of yours,\u201d Stacy cheerfully filled in her brother\u2019s memory lapse, \u201cWITH TIE!.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf! Ten\u2019ll getcha one Hop Sing\u2019s forgotten he ever said that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019LL remind him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf STACY doesn\u2019t, I sure will,\u201d Molly said, turning once again to face her friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just a cotton pickin\u2019 minute here!\u201d Joe immediately turned and glared down at Molly. \u201cI thought you were on MY side.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d Molly resolutely shook her head, \u201cI\u2019m on MY side.\u201d She looked from one to the other smiling. \u201cStacy, I think YOU look very lovely in that dress . . . and Joe, YOU look positively handsome in that suit. Now, if you\u2019ll BOTH excuse me, I think I\u2019ll go have a nice friendly chat with your pa AND with Hop Sing.\u201d With that, she flounced off with a skip in her step and a triumphant smile on her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re dead!\u201d Stacy sighed with melodramatic despair.<\/p>\n

\u201cYep! Hoist by your own petard, Kid!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy turned and glared at her brother. \u201cNow what\u2019s THAT supposed to mean?\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means this is all YOUR fault!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMY fault?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the one who taught Molly all about attitude, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam listened to the exchange between his youngest brother and sister with an amused, self-satisfied smile.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what, may I ask are YOU so happy about, O Love of My Life?\u201d Teresa asked. demurely, as she sidled up beside him and took his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeeing Little Joe over there FINALLY getting his comeuppance for all the merciless teasing he heaped on Hoss and me while we were all growing up,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cThat sister of mine can not only take it and still come up smiling, but she can sling it right back at him quicker than the fastest gun west of the Mississippi.\u201d There was a distinct note of smug satisfaction in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuicker than the fastest gun EAST of the Mississippi, too, I\u2019m sure,\u201d Teresa said smiling, \u201cand those two LOVE every minute of it.\u201d She fell silent for a moment to cast a critical once over glance at the foundation cream and powder, she had so carefully applied to her husband\u2019s cheeks and eyes. It held up well enough through the wedding, but was now dry, cracked, and flaking. \u201cAdam, I think you need a little retouching.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t bother,\u201d Adam wearily shook his head. \u201cI looked presentable enough for the wedding, at least from a distance anyway. THAT was the important thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what happened to the lot of you? It sure took you long enough to get down here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it, uummm, seems Joe, Stacy . . . AND Hoss had a bit of explaining to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teresa nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m beginning to get the distinct feeling that Joe and Stacy, at least, spend a lot of time explaining their way out of one scrape or another . . . . \u201d Adam mused, with an amused half smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cNOT unlike their oldest brother at their age, I\u2019m sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa been telling you more tall tales about my childhood?\u201d Adam queried archly, as they strolled arm-in-arm over to the food table.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m remembering all the ALLEGED tall tales he told me back when we all first met about a week before OUR wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo . . . what did my younger brothers and sister do NOW?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor openers, Stacy just won five thousand dollars betting that the wedding today would turn out to be a double wedding, with Colleen marrying Apollo and Matt marrying Clarissa,\u201d Teresa began.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell me that kid actually orchestrated this comedy or errors!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam, all she did was make a very lucky guess and place a bet on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked over at his wife, openly skeptical.<\/p>\n

\u201cHonest!\u201d Teresa insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cSurely you don\u2019t mean to tell me that what happened today was mere happenstance,\u201d Adam immediately protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all,\u201d Teresa replied. \u201cI\u2019m just saying that Stacy wasn\u2019t the mastermind behind it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Joe . . . ?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re half right, Adam. Your brother WAS the genius responsible for arranging everything that happened upstairs, but it wasn\u2019t your YOUNGEST brother!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW you\u2019re pulling my leg!\u201d Adam chuckled.<\/p>\n

\u201cNope!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome ON, Teresa!\u201d Adam argued. \u201cYou surely don\u2019t mean to suggest that HOSS was the guilty party responsible for orchestrating this burlesque?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t about to SUGGEST anything of the sort,\u201d Teresa retorted primly. \u201cI was getting ready to just say it straight out!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re NOT serious!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m DEAD serious.\u201d<\/p>\n

For one brief, horrifying, heart-stopping moment, Adam teetered on the edge of fainting right there on the spot.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Teresa gazed up into his suddenly pale complexion with concern. \u201cAdam . . . are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam slipped an arm about his wife\u2019s shoulders and leaned against her just long enough to regain his equilibrium. \u201cLet me m-make sure I\u2019ve got this straight! You\u2019re actually telling me . . . that . . . that H-Hoss . . . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm hmmm!\u201d Teresa nodded.<\/p>\n

Adam looked over at his biggest brother, who stood chatting animatedly with Sheriff Coffee and Brunhilda Odinsdottir in the line at the food table, with a newfound respect. \u201cWhen we were growing up, Joe and I used to leave poor Hoss high and dry, holding the bag lots of times, because the poor guy couldn\u2019t even tell the truth with a straight face,\u201d he said, his voice filled with awe. \u201cTo think HE\u2019S the genius who orchestrated this . . . this FARCE of a double wedding without anyone catching wise before hand . . . . Well, it just boggles the mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, t\u2019 boys in t\u2019 band\u2019ll be tunin\u2019 up t\u2019 play some right fine dancin\u2019 music in a little while,\u201d Francis said. \u201cIn t\u2019 meantime, y\u2019d better step up an\u2019 help y\u2019rself to some o\u2019 this good food t\u2019 Ladies\u2019 Guild went t\u2019 all t\u2019 trouble o\u2019 fixin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that you mention, Francis, I AM hungry as a bear,\u201d Ben admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI DO hope you\u2019ll save the first dance for me, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Myra Danvers sidled up to the clan patriarch with a coy smile.<\/p>\n

Ben blanched, and involuntarily took a step backward.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Mrs. Danvers,\u201d Stacy appeared on the other side of her father, as if by magic. She casually, yet with a definite proprietary manner, slipped her arm through his. \u201cPa\u2019s already promised ALL of his dances to ME, with maybe one or two to spare for Teresa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that\u2019s absolutely right, Mrs. Danvers!\u201d Ben said, greatly relieved by Stacy\u2019s timely rescue. \u201cBetween my daughter AND my daughter-in-law, I\u2019m stretched pretty thin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d Myra\u2019s coy smile froze, and turned brittle.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe another time,\u201d Ben suggested, with the same unbounded enthusiasm he might feel at the prospect of spending the night in the den of a hundred rattlesnakes.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . like when a certain place famous for hot temperatures experiences a sudden freeze,\u201d Stacy added with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Myra said through clenched teeth, glaring daggers, dripping with the deadliest of poisons, at the audacious Cartwright daughter, \u201cANOTHER time.\u201d She abruptly turned heel and stomped off.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d have thought she would have taken a hint after the way you bawled her out at the courthouse a couple o\u2019 weeks ago,\u201d Stacy murmured softly, shaking her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen that woman gets an idea in her head . . . there\u2019s no changing it,\u201d Ben grumbled, as he and Stacy picked up plates and made their way through the food line.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry about a thing, Pa,\u201d Stacy agreed earnestly, directing a ferocious glare at Myra Danvers\u2019 retreating back. \u201cI\u2019ll protect you from her evil clutches.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cI feel safer already, knowing I\u2019m under the protection of Lady Stacy, Fighting Irish Knight Errant,\u201d he said partly in jest, mostly in earnest. \u201cJust promise me you won\u2019t skewer the dastardly Mrs. Danvers with the business end of your sword or lance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise.\u201d Stacy smiled, then sobered. \u201cUnless I have to in self defense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Pruella, that pearl necklace is gorgeous!\u201d Grace Hansen sighed enviously. \u201cAbsolutely gorgeous!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it, though?\u201d Pruella agreed with a smug, self-satisfied smile. \u201cSee? Each and every one is perfectly matched, all the same roundness, the same color and luminescence . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt must have cost a fortune!\u201d Grace exclaimed, her initial envy mixing now with a healthy dose of awe.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt did!\u201d Pruella boasted. \u201cI saw another one just like it at the jeweler\u2019s myself not two weeks ago, and inquired as to the price . . . a simple matter of intellectual curiosity, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess how much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I couldn\u2019t even begin!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella leaned over and whispered in Grace\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n

Grace Hansen\u2019s eyes went round with shock and astonishment. \u201cWow! THAT much?\u201d she gasped. \u201cAnd you say it\u2019s the gift of an ADMIRER?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I had so ardent an admirer,\u201d Grace sighed, suddenly feeling very much the Plain-Jane next to Pruella\u2019s fashionable flamboyance. \u201cThose earrings you\u2019re wearing are lovely, too. Are they ALSO a gift from your admirer?\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella nodded, with a dazzling, triumphant smile. \u201cDiamonds, Grace! Crystal clear, flawless, and all of FIFTEEN karats.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers stormed into the kitchen, her face pale and lips thinned to a poker straight, hard, nearly lipless line. \u201cDisgraceful!\u201d she growled. \u201cAbsolutely dis-GRACE-ful!\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence Hansen, hard at work filling the half dozen nut and mint bowls, all lined up before her on the counter, flinched and quickly averted her eyes away from the intense glare on Myra Danvers\u2019 cadaverously white face.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, don\u2019t YOU think so?\u201d Myra snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-if you say so,\u201d Florence replied in a very small, very quiet voice. She kept her eyes firmly riveted to the bowl of nuts she was filling.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat . . . that child is an absolute hoyden!\u201d Myra ranted. \u201cIf Ben Cartwright doesn\u2019t take her firmly in hand and SOON . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Florence glanced up sharply, her beet red face an almost caricatured mask of horrified shock. \u201cSsshh, Myra, they\u2019ll hear you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be best for all concerned if they DID hear me!\u201d Myra made a point of raising her voice. \u201cYou know as well as I do, that young lady has no idea in the world how to behave properly! None at all! What she desperately needs is two, maybe even THREE years in a good, solid girls\u2019 boarding school to learn at least a modicum of the proper social graces, followed by another year at finishing school . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Florence Hansen turned a deaf ear to Myra Danvers\u2019 angry ranting and returned to the task of filling the nut bowls. \u201cOdd,\u201d she mused in silence. The Stacy Cartwright SHE had come to know over the years was a very polite, well mannered young woman, gifted with a poise and self-confidence rarely seen in girls her age. Granted, the girl preferred working with the Ponderosa horses to giving tea parties, but that was the way of things in this part of the country. Although her eldest daughter, Grace, was more than content to help with the household chores, the other four roped cattle and branded calves right alongside their father.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you know that mouthy young upstart actually had the temerity to SWEAR at me!?\u201d Myra fumed. Two bright splotched or red dotted he cheeks, and her scowl deepened. \u201cThe IDEA! The VERY idea!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUmmm humm,\u201d Florence murmured politely.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and HE didn\u2019t say a word! Not one single, solitary word!\u201d Myra seethed. \u201cIf that child had been MY daughter, I would have marched her right out to the wood shed, you can bet on that!\u201d She exhaled a curt sigh of angry exasperation, then shook her head. \u201cHonestly! The sooner I can take that family in hand . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh! Ma! M-Mrs. Danvers?!\u201d<\/p>\n

The two women glanced up sharply at the door. Grace Hansen stood in the open doorway, cradling one of the enormous cut glass punch bowls, nearly empty of its contents, in her arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh dear, please, excuse me, I . . . I didn\u2019t mean to interrupt, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d Grace\u2019s words of apology tumbled from her lips, one after the other in a nervous rush. \u201cI happened to notice that this bowl was empty . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Grace,\u201d Florence said quickly, inwardly grateful for the interruption. \u201cBring the bowl on in and set it there on the kitchen table. I\u2019ll whip up more punch in a jiffy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace meekly ventured into the kitchen, taking great care to avoid making even the slightest eye contact with the still enraged Mrs. Danvers. She carefully placed the bowl on the table as her mother had asked.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and how are the OTHER three punch bowls?\u201d Myra snapped, venting the ever-increasing anger and exasperation that Stacy Cartwright had aroused, on a handier target.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one next to the door is also nearly empty,\u201d Grace answered immediately, snapping out her answers with the crisp clearness of a young U. S. Army private in his first days of basic training. \u201cI\u2019m going to go right back and fetch that one, too . . . if you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much punch is in the other two bowls?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace flinched. \u201cThey\u2019re both half full, Mrs. Danvers. I\u2019ve been keeping a close eye on them.\u201d<\/p>\n

A smile, brittle and cold, spread across Myra Danvers\u2019 lips. \u201cGrace, you\u2019ve really worked very hard over the last few days, what with cleaning up this room, fixing all the food, decorating the church, not to mention everything you\u2019re doing now,\u201d she said stiffly. \u201cI just want you to know that your efforts have been noticed and are very much appreciated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy . . . th-thank you, Mrs. Danvers,\u201d Grace said softly. She involuntarily stepped backward, her hands trembling. She couldn\u2019t be certain which terrified her more: the overtly enraged Mrs. Danvers, or the Mrs. Danvers whose frightening parody of a smile was at such total and complete odds with the deep rooted, bitter anger smoldering in her eyes. \u201cI . . . I\u2019m going to g-go back and . . . and get that bowl now . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Myra nodded, dismissing her.<\/p>\n

Without a word, Grace turned heel and scurried from the kitchen like a squirrel, suddenly startled by the appearance of a predator.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cOops! Mister Wilson! Sorry, please excuse me . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Blake Wilson eyed the young man standing before him for a long moment. \u201cHarlan Hurley . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Sir,\u201d he said very quickly. \u201cI\u2019m David!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, then. Well, you\u2019d better watch your step, Young Fella,\u201d Blake admonished the contrite young man standing in front of him. \u201cI must be at least the third person you\u2019ve just up \u2018n run into.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Sir . . . I seem to have woken up this morning with two left feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy\u2019s stricken face and hazel eyes, round with horrified regret, effectively dissolved all remaining traces of Blake Wilson\u2019s stern demeanor. \u201cWell, your ma says you\u2019ve been workin\u2019 pretty hard at home over the last few months,\u201d he said with a touch of pseudo-gruffness. \u201cIt\u2019s a fine thing to be a good, hard worker, but a man\u2019s gotta relax once in a while, \u2018specially a young man like yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blake slipped a paternal arm around the young man\u2019s shoulders. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come with me to the food table, \u2018n grab yourself a plate . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Wilson, but I\u2019ve already eaten a plateful . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen grab another! A young man like you can\u2019t eat too much, y\u2019 know.\u201d He paused momentarily, his eyes scanning the faces in the crowd for his wife and the minister. He found both in conversation with Adam and Teresa Cartwright. \u201cGit that plate filled, an\u2019 maybe you \u2018n me can step outside for a quick nip.\u201d He opened the jacket of his suit just enough to let his young companion see the flask, brimming full of amber liquid, tucked away in the inside pocket.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Sir, but I don\u2019t think I\u2019d better!\u201d he declined in hushed tones. \u201cIf my ma smells THAT on my breath, she\u2019ll kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blake grinned. \u201cYeah, she probably would at that,\u201d he said. \u201cTruth t\u2019 tell, my ma wouldda killed me, too, when I was your age.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I guess I\u2019d better go, M-Mister Wilson, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood chattin\u2019 with ya, Son.\u201d Glancing around, he spotted Ben Cartwright, Roy Coffee, Clay Hansen, and a half dozen other friends and neighbors clustered in a tightly knit circle. Their lively conversation was liberally sprinkled with healthy doses of boisterous laughter. Blake paused just long enough to slip his flask out of his jacket pocket and take a quick swallow, before going over to join his friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan! Harlan Hurley!\u201d<\/p>\n

The young man froze mid-strode and glanced over in the direction of the kitchen, from whence the voice issued. He saw Myra Danvers standing framed in the open door, standing akimbo, with one hand stolidly placed on hips, the other grasping the handle of an empty, wooden water bucket.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan, we need more water!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not Harlan, I\u2019m, uuhh . . . DAVID! Yes, that\u2019s right! I\u2019m David!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoever!\u201d Myra said in a dismissive tone of voice, as she thrust the bucket in his face. \u201cWe need water, and we need it right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d he retorted with a touch of insolence.<\/p>\n

Myra bristled. \u201cSo go to the well and fill this bucket,\u201d she ordered, with arm still extended and hand clasping the handle of the bucket.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan, would you please do as Mrs. Danvers asks.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glanced over his shoulder and saw Uncle Apollo towering over him with arms folded across his massive chest. He opened his mouth to argue, only to snap it shut in the next instant, put off by the threatening glare in his uncle\u2019s face. \u201cY-yes, Sir,\u201d he mumbled, taking the bucket from Mrs. Danvers.<\/p>\n

He took a deliberately circuitous route from the kitchen to the open portal, beyond which the stairs, leading up out of the church basement, were located.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, of COURSE they\u2019re diamond!\u201d<\/p>\n

He slowed, smiling at the sound of his beloved Pruella Danvers\u2019 voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re perfect! Pure, crystal clear, flawless . . . . PERFECT!!\u201d Pruella continued waspishly.<\/p>\n

\u201cGLASS is also pure, crystal clear, and flawlessly perfect!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy LOUISE Cartwright . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy bristled and glared over at Pruella, despite her own intention to keep her cool. \u201cThat\u2019s Stacy ROSE Cartwright,\u201d she growled at her antagonist of long standing. \u201cThe name change was official a few days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever!\u201d Pruella responded in that same dismissive, bored tone that had become her mother\u2019s trademark.<\/p>\n

Harlan smiled, gratified that the love of his life had managed for once to come out ahead in a verbal sparring match with Stacy Cartwright. Though his parents and the Cartwrights, particularly Adam and Hoss, had been friends for more years now that any of them cared to admit at times, lately, that family seemed to be getting on his nerves.<\/p>\n

\u201cStill \u2018n all, these earrings are NOT glass, Miss Know-It-All-Cartwright!\u201d Pruella continued in a haughty, condescending tone. \u201cThey\u2019re DIAMOND! The largest ones are fifteen karats EACH.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally.\u201d Stacy rebounded from her momentary lapse of temper, and managed to reply in a bemused tone of voice, spiked with just enough boredom as to be grievously insulting.<\/p>\n

Pruella angrily stamped her foot. \u201cI\u2019ll have you know these earrings come from my secret admirer,\u201d she snapped, \u201cand they set him back a real pretty penny, too, I can tell you THAT!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh. Am I supposed to be impressed?\u201d<\/p>\n

A guttural, choking sound, somewhere between a cough and an infuriated sputter, issued from Pruella\u2019s throat. Without further word she tossed her head, and flounced off, in search of someone who had enough intelligence to appreciate the truly finer things in life.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh! She\u2019s mad at you now, Kid,\u201d Joe observed wryly, his eyes lingering appreciatively on Pruella Danvers\u2019 retreating form.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandpa, that no good little— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWatch the language, Kid!\u201d Joe warned.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . at any rate, she\u2019s BEEN mad at ME ever since I beat her up in the school yard for making fun of Molly,\u201d Stacy said, directing a vicious scowl in the direction of Pruella Danvers\u2019 retreating back.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou talkin\u2019 about the first day you started school here in Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe shook his head. \u201cThat was FIVE YEARS ago!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost SIX, Grandpa!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLong time to hold a grudge!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s other factors at work, too, y\u2019 know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah? Like what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella Danvers and I just plain can\u2019t stand the sight of one another for one thing . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree she\u2019s not a very nice individual,\u201d Joe said, smiling once again at the memory of how well Pruella Danvers\u2019 dress fit her wondrous well rounded figure. \u201cBut I adore the sight of her.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Young Fella, watch where yer goin\u2019!\u201d Macon Fitzhugh glared down at the young man, attired in a pair of slate gray flannel pants, white shirt, and tie.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Mister Fitzhugh.\u201d<\/p>\n

Macon peered at the younger man, squinting through rheumy, bloodshot eyes. \u201cSay, that YOU, Hurlin\u2019 Harley?\u201d<\/p>\n

The young man shifted his blue jacket over to the arm with hand holding the still empty bucket. \u201cHurlin\u2019 Harley? Dontcha mean Harlan Hurley?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhom ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m not him. I\u2019m my brother David.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, whom ever y\u2019 are, watch where yer goin\u2019!\u201d Macon snapped. He pivoted abruptly, nearly losing his balance. After a brief, heart-stopping moment of wavering and wildly flailing his arms, Macon finally regained a measure of equilibrium. \u201cDaggum smart assed young whippersnapper!\u201d<\/p>\n

A dozen more steps brought the young man face to face with \u201cMatilda,\u201d the still, presently masquerading as the new wood stove for the church. He glanced down, smiling at the sight of another wood bucket, roughly the same dimensions as the empty one in hand, sitting beside the alleged wood stove, filled to the brim with a crystal clear liquid. He set his own bucket on the floor and cautiously dipped a finger into the full one.<\/p>\n

\u201cOoooowheee!\u201d he murmured softly, his eyes round as saucers. An evil smile slowly oozed its way across the lower portion of his face.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about time you got back here with that water, David Hurley!\u201d Myra Danvers admonished him severely, upon his return to the kitchen, with brimming full bucket in hand. \u201cWhatever did you DO? Go all the way to China to fetch it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Ma\u2019am,\u201d the young man murmured. \u201cSorry, Ma\u2019am.\u201d He backed out of the kitchen, and immediately melted away into the crowd.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan, I\u2019m bored!\u201d Pruella whined, as she sidled up alongside him. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you and I go somewhere, and . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled down at her marveling at how beautiful she was, even in so petulant a mood, with her lower lip protruding so far out from under its upper twin. \u201cBe patient, Pruella Darling,\u201d he said in a smooth, oily tone. \u201cI promise, you won\u2019t be bored for very long.\u201d He squeezed her hand, then moved off in the direction of the kitchen.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s high time you got some more punch out here!\u201d Myrna O\u2019Hanlan growled, while Grace Hansen carefully centered the immense bowl square in the middle of the matching cut glass tray. \u201cIt\u2019s turned out to be such a dreadfully hot afternoon, and folks\u2019re thirsty! Very thirsty!\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace noted how vigorously Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan fanned herself with a copy of the programs initially printed for the wedding of Colleen and Matt. \u201cI\u2019m terribly sorry about that, Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d she contritely murmured an apology. \u201cHarlan . . . . \u201d she paused briefly, frowning. \u201cOr was that David? Whichever of the Hurley twins it was, he was so dreadfully long about getting the water so my ma could make up some more punch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna snorted derisively.<\/p>\n

Grace picked up a clean cup and quickly scooped up a ladle full of the inviting pink liquid from the bowl and poured it into the cup. \u201cHere you are, Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d she said, offered the full cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d Myrna accepted the filled cup from Grace, and gingerly sipped the contents. Her eyes widened with surprise. \u201cOoh! This is WONDERFUL punch!\u201d She raised her glass once more to her lips and this time swallowed down a large gulp. \u201cUmm ummmm! This is, without a doubt, the very best your mother has ever made.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, thank you, Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Grace said, beaming. \u201cIt\u2019s Ma\u2019s very special recipe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDelicious!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I get you another cup, Mrs. Hansen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yes . . . thank you. Thank you . . . thank you shhh . . . ummm, SO! Thank you SO very mush, I mean MUCH. Thank . . . you . . . very, uuhhh . . . much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh dear! Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan . . . are you alright?\u201d Grace queried, unnerved by the older woman\u2019s glassy stare and unsteady stance.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I feel . . . all uva sudden, I . . . I\u2019m feeling a little dizzy . . . . \u201d She placed her hand firmly on the table in an effort to steady herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt MUST be the heat!\u201d Grace murmured sympathetically. She refilled Myrna\u2019s glass and carefully placed it in her free hand, the one not clutching the edge of the table. \u201cHere, Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, perhaps some more of this will take care of that dizziness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna lifted the cup to her lips and drained the contents in a single gulp.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiz O\u2019Hanlan . . . . \u201d It was Clara Mudgely. \u201cI ain\u2019t had t\u2019 chance t\u2019 say congratulations to ya on Colleen getting herself hitched . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, still clutching hold of the punch table\u2019s edge for balance and support beamed at the church organist with a wavering, lopsided smile. \u201cThank ya, thank ya mos\u2019 kin\u2019ly, Mish Midglyn . . . . \u201d A puzzled frown knotted her brow. \u201cNo! That\u2019s not right! Hell, oops! Ah mean heck! Heck, I don\u2019 even KNOW anybody name o\u2019 Midgetlin!\u201d<\/p>\n

Clara favored Myrna O\u2019Hanlan with a glare that clearly raised questions regarding the mother of the bride\u2019s very sanity. \u201cMrs. O\u2019Hanlan . . . are you ILL?\u201d she queried bluntly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2019m fiiiiiinne! Jes\u2019 fiiiine!\u201d Myrna shrilled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s this dreadful heat, Miss Mudgely,\u201d Grace moaned. She quickly ladled another glass of punch for Myrna O\u2019Hanlan and pressed it into her free hand.<\/p>\n

Clara continued to eye Myrna O\u2019Hanlan, warily.<\/p>\n

Myrna, blissfully unaware of Clara\u2019s intense scrutiny, started to hum the tune SHE knew as \u201cThe Irish Rake,\u201d a half step off key. In later years, many of the folks attending the Wedding Reception of the Century would come to know that particular tune as \u201cThe Streets of Laredo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou say she\u2019s sufferin\u2019 HEATSTROKE?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so, Miss Mudgely,\u201d Grace mournfully shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor woman! Probably nursin\u2019 a healthy fit o\u2019 the vapours, too, underneath all that heatstroke, whut with ever\u2019thing that happened at the weddin\u2019 upstairs,\u201d Clara shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to see if I can get her to sit down awhile,\u201d Grace said, lowering her voice. \u201cBut, before I do . . . may I get YOU a glass of punch? Ma just finished making it up . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Clara smiled. \u201cThat\u2019s right nice o\u2019 ya, Girl, thank ya kindly,\u201d the organist said gratefully. \u201cPowerful warm up there next to that organ. Powerful warm!\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace immediately picked up a clean cup and filled it to the brim. \u201cHere you are, Miss Mudgely.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

After everyone had eaten his or her initial fill of wedding feast, the five musicians hired to provide music for dancing, quietly took their places and began the process of tuning their instruments. They were five brothers, aptly billing themselves as The McGuire Brothers. Their father, a late acquaintance and business client of Francis Sean O\u2019Hanlan, Sr., had named all five of his sons for Ivy League universities in the hope that they would eventually pursue academia and the lucrative potential that offered. Their father\u2019s hopes were in vain.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018ey, Corney!\u201d<\/p>\n

Cornell McGuire, fiddle player, as well as the eldest and most taciturn of his siblings, turned and looked over expectantly at his younger brother, Harvard.<\/p>\n

Harvard McGuire, third in the birth order line-up, and known simply as Harv to family and friends, inclined his head toward the table, where the mother of the bride downed her third, fourth, fifth, and sixth glasses of punch in rapid succession. He was short of stature, standing a few inches shorter than Joe Cartwright, but very muscular and compact with thick, wavy red hair, sparkling green eyes, a broad, square jaw line and cleft chin. Men and women alike looked upon Harv as \u201cthe handsome one\u201d among his brothers. \u201cI thought t\u2019 quaffin\u2019 o alcoholic beverages was forbidden here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, that\u2019s what Mister O\u2019Hanlan said, Laddy Buck,\u201d Corney affirmed with a nod, as he tuned the last string of his fiddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid t\u2019 man ever get \u2018round t\u2019 tellin\u2019 his wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

Princeton McGuire, the second son and lead musician, glanced over at each of his brothers, his eyes moving slowly from face to face briefly making eye contact with each. He was a tall, lanky man, age indeterminate, with a full thick head of carrot colored hair and beard. \u201cAre y\u2019 ready, Lads?\u201d he asked, sotto voice.<\/p>\n

One by one, his brothers curtly nodded their heads. Satisfied, Princeton ably stepped to the forefront and loudly cleared his throat. \u201cLadies \u2018n Gents, b\u2019fore we start in wi\u2019 t\u2019 reels \u2018n jigs \u2018n such like that, we\u2019d like t\u2019 play a waltz,\u201d he addressed the wedding guests in a pronounced, lilting Irish brogue. A roguish grin slowly spread across his lips. \u201cT\u2019 boys \u2018n meself hear there\u2019s a couple o\u2019 gents among ye that\u2019s dancing wi\u2019 their lovely wives f\u2019r t\u2019 very first time.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a smattering of amused laughter from the gathered assembly, followed by a round of polite applause.<\/p>\n

\u201cR-reels and jigs?\u201d Ben paled, as the newly wed couples moved out onto the dance floor. \u201cStacy, I hope you know how . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to worry,\u201d she hastened to assure him. \u201cMister O\u2019Hanlan and Molly have been teaching me how to dance Irish jigs and reels since they found out my mother, Miss Paris, was an Irishwoman. Mister O\u2019Hanlan said I should know these things because they\u2019re part of my heritage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God!\u201d Ben murmured softly.<\/p>\n

The profound, almost comical look of relief on Ben\u2019s face, brought a bemused smile to Stacy\u2019s. \u201cYou\u2019re not getting out of dancing with me that easily, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t dream of it,\u201d Ben declared, casting a quick furtive glance at Myra Danvers, standing alongside Florence Hansen.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cOne . . . two . . . three,\u201d Princeton McGuire counted softly, nodding emphatically on three.<\/p>\n

The musicians struck up a waltz tune with a decided Irish air. Both grooms, their faces beaming with pure, unadulterated joy, only had eyes for their respective brides. Matt\u2019s eyes shone brightly with unshed tears of happiness, as he lead Clarissa past the smiling eyes of all the well-wishers present. Apollo hugged Colleen closer as their bodies moved in rhythm with the music, and whispered, \u201cI love you,\u201d in her ear. Colleen, smiling warmly, silently mouthed back the words, \u201cI love you, too, Apollo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn stood at the back edge of the gathered crowd, watching the two newly wed couples, with an almost smug, self-satisfied grin. \u201cYessir, Hoss Cartwright, y\u2019 done good!\u201d he murmured to the biggest of Ben\u2019s son\u2019s standing along side him. \u201cY\u2019 done real, real, real, real GOOD!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn, I keep tellin\u2019 ya it was a GROUP effort,\u201d Hoss hastened to point out. \u201cT\u2019 be perfectly honest, it was Colleen \u2018n Clarissa that hatched the whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich they wouldn\u2019t have if YOU hadn\u2019t given t\u2019 pair of \u2018em the idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 I<\/strong> wouldna had the idea in the first place if I hadn\u2019t seen the bet my sister placed in YOUR li\u2019l black accountin\u2019 book. So you \u2018n Stacy had as much part in the whole thing as I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-you\u2019re too kind, Lad,\u201d Mick sniffled, his eyes shining bright with his own unshed tears.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . \u2018n YOU\u2019RE every bit the hopeless romantic I am, Mister O\u2019Flynn,\u201d Hoss declared with a grin, as he handed the elderly man a fresh handkerchief.<\/p>\n

\u201cMick! Mick!\u201d It was Barney, elbowing his way through the tightly packed crowd of guests watching the newly wed couples dance. \u201cMick, we gotta problem!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s t\u2019 problem, Barney?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoris t\u2019 Russian\u2019s er, uuhh . . . VODKA is missin\u2019!\u201d Barney reported, his face pale, and eyes round with sheer terror.<\/p>\n

\u201cVodka?\u201d Hoss looked over at Mick and Barney with a bemused expression. \u201cYou fellas make vodka?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mister Cartwright, we DON\u2019T actually make vodka,\u201d Barney blithely answered Hoss\u2019 question. \u201cIt\u2019s really poteen, but we let HIM think it\u2019s vodka.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s poteen?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a lot like t\u2019 stuff y\u2019 call moonshine, \u2018cept it\u2019s made from potatoes instead o\u2019 corn, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Barney said with a touch of pride. \u201cT\u2019 stuff\u2019s clear as water \u2018n stronger \u2018n you AND Boris t\u2019 Russian put together, and THAT if t\u2019 pair of y\u2019ve not bathed in a month o\u2019 Sundays.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss frowned. \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn, ain\u2019t that kinda, well . . . dishonest?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all at all, Laddie, not at all at all,\u201d Mick replied, \u201cseein\u2019 as how Boris never quite asked, \u2018n WE never told.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess if this Boris the Russian ain\u2019t got the good sense t\u2019 ask questions, I s\u2019pose y\u2019 ain\u2019t completely cheatin\u2019 \u2018im,\u201d Hoss allowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re thinkin\u2019 more \u2018n more like me all t\u2019 time, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Mick said smugly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow ya got me worried!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been grand chattin\u2019 with ye, Mister Cartwright, but you\u2019ll have t\u2019 excuse us,\u201d Mick said, quickly, as he doffed his hat. \u201cI need t\u2019 go help Barney here find that \u2018vodka\u2019 b\u2019fore Boris shows up. Unfortunately, he\u2019s not as . . . shall we say as even tempered as yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Florence Hansen and Myra Danvers, meanwhile, stood side by side at the outer fringes of the circle gathered to watch the two newlywed couples enjoy their very first dance together. The powerful hypnotic quality of the music combined with the slow easy movements of the dancers, propelled her back in time to another wedding and another bride and groom enjoying their first dance together.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what are YOU so happy about?\u201d Myra Danvers\u2019 strident voice rudely wrenched Florence from her nostalgic reverie back to present time and place.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust remembering the first time Clay and I danced together . . . as husband and wife,\u201d Florence replied with a nostalgic smile on her face and a dreamy, far away look in her eyes.<\/p>\n

A short, curt sigh of exasperation and frustration escaped from Myra\u2019s lips. She stood with posture rigidly straight and arms folded tightly across her chest, glaring indignantly at waltzing newly weds and at Ben and Stacy Cartwright, standing near the front of the gathered crowd of onlookers, to her right.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t dance the waltz, of course,\u201d Florence continued. \u201cWhen Clay and I got married, \u2018most everyone, especially my mother and Clay\u2019s, thought it to be wicked and scandalous. But, our faces were all aglow, every bit as much as theirs\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggerel!\u201d Myra muttered contemptuously under her breath. \u201cNothing but a lot of nonsensical, romantic doggerel!\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence bristled for a moment, then sighed. She had a sneaking suspicion, somewhere deep inside, that Myra Danvers might be more deserving of her pity, rather than her anger. She had never, not in all the years she had lived in Virginia City, ever so much as breathed a word about Mister Danvers. To anyone! This Florence knew for absolute fact. On the rare occasions anyone had the temerity to ask, Myra became evasive and changed the subject, as quick as she could. \u201cOdd thing that . . . . \u201d<\/em> she ruminated in silence. While it was true that Myra had been widowed a number of years, ever since her daughter, Pruella, was a baby, according to Clara Mudgely . . . Georgianna Wilkens, Virginia City\u2019s chief librarian and president of the Virginia City Literacy Guild, had been widowed for nearly TWICE the number of years. Yet SHE spoke often and very well of her late husband. \u201cMyra\u2019s marriage to Mister Danvers mustn\u2019t have been a happy one,\u201d<\/em> she silently mused.<\/p>\n

\u201cDance!\u201d Myra continued her rant, blissfully ignorant of the fact that her long-suffering audience of one had effectively tuned her out. \u201cDance indeed! It\u2019s just an excuse for groping in public, and I for one am NOT going to stand for it. First thing Monday morning, I\u2019m going to give Reverend Hildebrandt a fair piece of my mind for . . . for allowing such an outrage within the hallowed basement of this church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm hm,\u201d Florence automatically responded when Myra paused for an instant to inhale.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019VE heard that . . . that indecent dance is banned in Boston!\u201d Myra declared, with an emphatic nod of her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally? Then you must\u2019ve heard WRONG, Ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myra turned and brought the full force of her near homicidal fury of her homicidal to bear on Adam Cartwright, who with Teresa, stood on the other side of Florence Hansen.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou DARE to contradict your elders, Young Man?\u201d Myra demanded imperiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, I am not CONTRADICTING you,\u201d Adam\u2019s tone held a faint, condescending note. \u201cI am merely correcting a, shall we say misunderstanding?\u201d His lips curved upward in a tight, mirthless grin. \u201cI have a couple of friends living in Boston, with whom I correspond on a regular basis. In many of their letters, they write often of attending parties AND dancing the waltz.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers, her face nearly the deep crimson hue of port wine, abruptly turned away from Adam and Teresa. \u201cIll mannered lout! I don\u2019t know who he thinks he is . . . . \u201d she muttered aloud.<\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s sharp ears picked up every word. \u201cPlease, forgive my appalling lack of manners, Ma\u2019am,\u201d he said smoothly, without missing a beat. \u201cI\u2019m Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright\u2019s eldest son. This is my wife, Teresa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myra\u2019s face paled. A strangled cry wrenched itself from her open, gaping mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m charmed to make your acquaintance, too, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Teresa acknowledged the introduction with a wry smile and voice laced with sarcasm. \u201cI\u2019m terribly sorry, I didn\u2019t catch YOUR name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . . Teresa, this is Myra Danvers,\u201d smiling, Florence Hansen blithely made introductions. \u201cI\u2019m sure Ben\u2019s told you all about her, seeing as how close they are to, uummm, shall we say an— \u201d The remainder of her words died a quick, merciful death under the fierce, murderous scowl on Myra\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh! Then, you must be THE Mrs. Danvers.\u201d Adam said, remembering the \u201ckind\u201d words his sister had to say about this woman the night of the waltz lesson.<\/p>\n

Myra eyed Adam suspiciously. \u201cI suppose I AM . . . given that I\u2019m the ONLY Mrs. Danvers living in Virginia City,\u201d she snapped. \u201cWhat of it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy nothing, Ma\u2019am, nothing at all,\u201d Adam said blandly. \u201cIt\u2019s just that my wife and I have heard so much about you, we feel as if we already know you . . . quite intimately.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suspicion immediately gave way to a coy smile. \u201cOoohhh?\u201d she trilled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mrs. Danvers, much to our great REGRET it would seem.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers\u2019 smile froze.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow if you ladies would be so kind as to excuse us, my wife and I had best go join my father,\u201d Adam rambled on blithely, very much aware of the insult given.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course,\u201d Florence responded, wholly ignorant of the significance of Adam\u2019s \u201cbon mot.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s so wonderful seeing you again, Adam, and Teresa, I\u2019m so glad to have finally met YOU. Ben\u2019s told us so much . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll good, I hope?\u201d Teresa quipped with a saucy grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll VERY good,\u201d Florence hastened to assure her.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mrs. Hansen,\u201d Adam said, this time with genuine warmth. \u201cMy family and I will be visiting for the entire summer, so I\u2019ve no doubt we\u2019ll see more of each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so, Adam . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cNow we\u2019d like t\u2019 invite the parents . . . and those representing the parents . . . of our happy newly wed couples t\u2019 come on out \u2018n dance,\u201d Princeton issued the invitation with a warm smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Erma! That\u2019s US!\u201d<\/p>\n

Erma Wilson favored her husband with a dark, venomous glare. \u201cI most certainly and assuredly will NOT!\u201d she declared, giving full vent to her outrage.<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, come on, Erma . . . please?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d She stubbornly folded her plump arms across her chest. \u201cIt\u2019s bad enough our son actually . . . somehow . . . ended up MARRYING that . . . that . . . saloon girl.\u201d She grimaced. \u201cIt\u2019s even worse that WE can\u2019t have it annulled! But, if you expect me to get out there on the same dance floor with THAT . . . with that WOMAN— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Erma . . . for heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d Blake seized her by the hand, and with a strength surprising in a man of his small stature and wiry frame, hauled her toward the area set aside for dancing, turning a deaf ear to her loud protestations and angry threats.<\/p>\n

\u201cSally, I guess you \u2018n me are the closest thing Clarissa has to a ma \u2018n pa here today,\u201d Sam observed casually.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019re right about that, Sam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam gallantly offered Sally his arm. \u201cShall we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was hopin\u2019 y\u2019d ask, Sam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Together, arm in arm, they made their way toward the dance floor. Harlan Hurley stepped backwards, bumping against Sam with enough force to send the Silver Dollar bar tender sprawling ignobly onto the floor. Fortunately for Sally, he had involuntarily let go of her arm in the same instant he and Harlan collided, else she would have crashed down on the floor along with him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOops! Oh dear! Puh-please . . . please excuse me!\u201d The Hurley boy immediately ran around behind the fallen bartender and, slipping his own strong arms under Sam\u2019s, hoisted him back to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ok, Sam?\u201d Sally queried, peering into his face anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m fine. No damage done!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid Hurley, you\u2019ve GOT to look out where you\u2019re going!\u201d Sally immediately rounded on the young man furiously. \u201cYou\u2019ve done nothin\u2019 but crash into folks ever since this shin dig got started!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY-yes, Ma\u2019am . . . I-I\u2019 really very sorry, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Harlan murmured as he eased his way into the crowd of people surging toward the front of the room.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan gulped down her umpteenth glass of punch and set the empty cup back down on the table beside the punch bowl. \u201cC\u2019mon, Francis, \u2018s OUR turn . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Francis noted his wife\u2019s glazed eyes, lopsided smile, and increased difficulty maintaining equilibrium with growing concern. \u201cMyrna, are you SURE you\u2019re feelin\u2019 alright? Miss Hansen said somethin\u2019 about heatstroke a while ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrancis, m\u2019 love, ah n\u2019er felt better,\u201d Myrna replied, seizing her husband by the wrist. The sudden movement sent her reeling.<\/p>\n

Francis quickly grabbed his wife by the waist. Myrna lurched forward, collapsing heavily against her husband, causing him to loose his own footing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSteady there, Mister O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Hoss neatly stepped in and easily steadied the flailing couple.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hoss, much obliged,\u201d Francis said gratefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cAaww, Frannie-wannie, y\u2019 hug real good,\u201d Myrna declared, as she tightened her arms about his shoulders and pressed her body closer.<\/p>\n

\u201cMyrna . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKisshh me, Frannie!\u201d Myrna puckered her lips, as Hoss very pointedly looked the other way.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow I KNOW there\u2019s something wrong with ya,\u201d Francis said in a wry tone. \u201cY\u2019 never, ever get this chummy with me out in public.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes \u2018at mean yer not gonna kiss me?\u201d Myrna pouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, can y\u2019 help me get her over to a chair?\u201d Francis turned desperate eyes to the gentle giant still standing behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Mister O\u2019Hanlan.\u201d Hoss took one arm and the woman\u2019s husband took the other. \u201cI thought whiskey wasn\u2019t gonna be allowed at this party,\u201d he said, taking care to keep his voice low.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Tis so,\u201d he sighed dolefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou \u2018n Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan ain\u2019t . . . ummm, sneakin\u2019 a nip here \u2018n there on the sly . . . are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely NOT!\u201d Francis declared stoutly. \u201cHoss, m\u2019 lad, I swear t\u2019 y\u2019 by t\u2019 cross o\u2019 Christ himself, I\u2019ve not had so much as a single drop. As for Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan . . . she NEVER touches t\u2019 stuff, except f\u2019r medicinal purposes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, accepting Francis O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s declarations of innocence on behalf of himself and his wife. \u201cMrs. O\u2019Hanlan DID have a pretty rough time o\u2019 things in the minister\u2019s office a li\u2019l while ago. It could be it\u2019s all catchin\u2019 up with \u2018er, now that the wedding\u2019s over \u2018n Colleen\u2019s safely married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019tcha be goin\u2019 \u2018round talkin\u2019 \u2018bout me like I\u2019m not here, Hosshh Car\u2019wright!\u201d Myrna admonished Hoss severely. \u201cWhere \u2018r we goin\u2019? The dancin\u2019 s back up that away!\u201d She inclined her head in the direction of the dance floor, nearly falling once again.<\/p>\n

\u201cMyrna, please! No more sudden moves!\u201d her husband admonished her wearily.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut where \u2018r we goin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought maybe we\u2019d take ya over here so \u2018s ya can sit down \u2018n rest a spell, Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I don\u2019 WANNA sshhh . . . uuhh, SIT. . . down . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss smiled at the close call.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . . Ah wanna dance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m not so sure ya oughtta . . . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe YUR no\u2019 sure, but I\u2019M sure,\u201d Myrna said firmly. \u201c \u2018S m\u2019 daughter\u2019s weddin\u2019, an\u2019 I\u2019m gonna dansshh . . . . \u201d She grabbed her husband\u2019s wrist once again and led him back toward the dance floor, weaving a path in keeping with the \u2018straight\u2019 lines of a shillelagh stick. Not quite knowing what else to do, Hoss reluctantly followed.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan Junior watched in outright disbelief as his mother valiantly attempted to waltz with his father. With nearly every step, she tripped over something, be it a loose floorboard, the hem of her dress, and fell into someone, laughing uproariously.<\/p>\n

\u201cF-Frankie?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Molly, what is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Ma?\u201d<\/p>\n

Frankie his eyes round with a mixture of shocked horror, apprehension, and embarrassment. \u201cIf I didn\u2019t know better? I\u2019d say she was drunker \u2018n skunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Athena and Jack Hurley, representing the late Dmetri and Hellene Nikolas, eased their way among the two newly wed couples, Sam Tucker and Sally Tyler, who stood in for Clarissa Starling Wilson\u2019s parents, the O\u2019Hanlans, and the Wilsons, .<\/p>\n

\u201cJack, we gotta get that re-sippee, uuh . . . resh-ship-pe . . . re-ci-pe!\u201d Athena said, as she labored valiantly to stifle a growing urge to giggle. \u201cWe. Gotta. Get that . . . re-ci-pe . . . from Miz Hanshen!\u201d She punctuated her words with a loud hiccup. \u201cThere! Ah said it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA-Athena, are . . . are you alright?\u201d Jack queried as he made due note of his wife\u2019s flushed cheeks, her lopsided smile, and half closed eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAhm fine . . . jus\u2019 fine,\u201d Athena drawled. \u201cCan\u2019t remmemer d\u2019 lash . . . . D\u2019. Lasssst. Time uh felt bedder! Jack, we jus\u2019 GODDA get dat re-ship-pee from M— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Jack sighed, flinching from the odd way people seemed to be staring at Athena and himself all of a sudden. \u201cWe\u2019ve gotta get Mrs. Hansen\u2019s recipe for her pink punch. This is the third time you\u2019ve said so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Athena hiccupped again, then dissolved into a gale of uproarious laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cAthena Nikolas Hurley, have you been nippin\u2019 from a flask you got hidden somewhere?\u201d Jack demanded, lowering his voice to the volume of a stage whisper.<\/p>\n

Athena\u2019s jaw dropped. Her indignant gasp quickly choked off her mirth with a very loud snort. \u201cAre you implyin\u2019 that I\u2019m . . . that I\u2019m DRUNK?!\u201d she demanded, righteously indignant.<\/p>\n

\u201cARE you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mosshht sshher-tin-lee am NOT!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jack\u2019s return glare openly questioned her staunch declaration.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Jack . . . Jack . . . y\u2019 oughtta shee . . . see. Yer face . . . . \u201d Athena\u2019s outrage quickly evaporated as she succumbed to yet another round of boisterous mirth, laughing when she exhaled and snorting loudly each time she took air in.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t be all THAT funny,\u201d Jack growled, as he wrapped his arm about her waist, and draped her arm across his shoulders. \u201cCome on, Athena.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHEY! WHUCHA THINK YER DOIN\u2019?!\u201d Athena protested at the top of her voice, as Jack dragged her off the dance floor. \u201cWHERE Y\u2019 TAKIN\u2019 ME?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m taking you someplace where you can SIT down before you end up FALLING down,\u201d Jack replied in a firm, no-nonsense tone of voice, as he searched the sidelines for their children. He spotted their young daughter, Cassandra, chatting with a group of her friends. After making eye contact, he waved her over with a nod of his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?!\u201d the girl queried softly, as she gazed over at her mother through eyes round with apprehension. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with MA? She sick or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno, Girl,\u201d Jack sighed, completely at al loss. \u201cI overheard folks talkin\u2019 \u2018bout heatstroke . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt IS awful hot in here,\u201d Cassandra agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. That\u2019s gotta be what\u2019s ailin\u2019 poor Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, bless her heart . . . an\u2019 it could very well be what\u2019s ailin\u2019 your ma. Wouldja please run over to that table there an\u2019 fetch her a nice cup of punch, Sweetheart?\u201d He inclined his head toward the nearest punch table, the one containing Florence Hansen\u2019s pink recipe,<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 now, we\u2019d like to invite the rest o\u2019 ye to dance wi\u2019 t\u2019 newly wed couples,\u201d Princeton finally invited the rest of the guests.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s finally OUR turn, Pa,\u201d Stacy looked up at her father, smiling.<\/p>\n

Ben returned her smile. \u201cIndeed it is, Young Woman.\u201d He turned, facing her, and held out his hand. \u201cMay I have this dance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you may,\u201d Stacy replied, placing her hand in his.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers stood just inside the doorway between the church kitchen and the rest of the basement, watching Ben and Stacy with a baleful glare as they circled the dance floor on the opposite side of the room, threading their way among the other dancers.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood afternoon, Ladies.\u201d It was Sheriff Coffee, with a cookie on one hand and a glass filled to brimming with pink punch in the other. His eyes appeared glassy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Roy,\u201d Florence returned the lawman\u2019s greeting with a warm, friendly smile.<\/p>\n

Myra Danvers nodded stiffly, not deigning to speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cFlorence, thissshh . . . I mean is this punch your special recipe?\u201d Roy held up the cup in hand, still two thirds full.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it is,\u201d Florence replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, THIS is the best da— . . . oops! . . . I mean best dar— uhhh, sorry!\u201d Roy, much to his horror and chagrin, felt the sudden rush of blood to his face. He raised the glass in hand to his lips and emptied it with a single gulp. \u201cFlorence . . . dish, uhhh . . . this recipe o\u2019 yours sure packs one he—HECK! uva wallop!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoy?!\u201d Florence took note of his ruddier-than-usual-complexion, his glassy eyes, and his difficulty speaking with an anxious frown. \u201cOh dear . . . Roy, are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I dunno,\u201d Roy murmured softly, as he squeezed his eyes tight shut against an environment that had just begun to swim and pulsate nauseatingly before him. \u201cA minute ago, I jus\u2019 fine. Now . . . all of a sudden . . . m\u2019 head feels like it\u2019s floatin\u2019 \u2018bout three feet off my shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must be suffering a touch of heatstroke,\u201d Florence declared, as she set the candy dish in hand down on the counter, and moved to the sheriff\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt . . . IS a mite warm down here,\u201d Roy moaned softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, indeed it is,\u201d Florence agreed, as she placed the candy dish in her hands down onto the kitchen counter, and moved to the sheriff\u2019s side. \u201cIt\u2019s really given poor Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan quite a turn.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy cautiously opened his eyes just in time to see Myrna O\u2019Hanlan stumble by, draped almost shamelessly over his deputy, Clem Foster. The latter\u2019s face was a strange shade of port wine, and his eyes were lifted heavenward, desperately beseeching divine intervention. Though he sympathized with poor Clem, Roy couldn\u2019t help but laugh. \u201cNow THAT\u2019S what I call a real bad case o\u2019 heat prostitution!\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence Hansen threw back her head and laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s NOT funny!\u201d Myra Danvers declared in a tone that dripped icicles.<\/p>\n

Roy paled in the face of Myra Danvers\u2019 malevolent, withering glare. \u201cOh, uhhh . . .s-sorry, Ma\u2019am,\u201d he babbled, \u201cI\u2019m afraid that, uhhh . . . kinda . . . well, kinda slipped out, I s\u2019pose. I m-meant t\u2019 say heat prosecution, pros— oh dang it, overcome by t\u2019 heat!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Roy . . . let\u2019s go find an empty chair so you can sit a spell,\u201d Florence said, taking him by the elbow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno how y\u2019 stand it, Florence,\u201d Roy murmured softly. \u201cHour after hour after hour . . . . \u201d He sighed, and shook his head, only to regret it an instant later.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it slow,\u201d Florence gently admonished the lawman, as he stumbled and pitched forward.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . hour after hour after blessed hour . . . . \u201d Roy rambled on, \u201ctha\u2019 woman gives ME uh real bad case o\u2019 t\u2019 heebie-jeebies after I\u2019ve only been in her comp\u2019ny fer a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. O\u2019Hanlan DOES tend to be rather high strung,\u201d Florence had to agree.<\/p>\n

\u201cUhh ain\u2019t talkin\u2019 \u2018bout Miz O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Roy groaned. \u201cI was talkin\u2019 \u2018bout Miz DANVERS. Ah wonder whut burr worked its way up her—, uh mean . . . uh wonder what\u2019s got \u2018er so dang riled up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe IS very upset about Reverend Hildebrandt allowing the wedding guests to waltz,\u201d Florence replied.<\/p>\n

Roy cautiously turned his head and favored Florence with a bewildered frown. \u201cThat a fact?\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence nodded her head. \u201cOh yes. Myra . . . Mrs. Danvers . . . said— \u201d She abruptly broke off as a bright pink patch blossomed forth becomingly on each cheek. \u201cI, ummm . . . don\u2019t feel right using words like that in polite mixed company, so I\u2019ll just say that she thought it highly improper and leave it go at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiz Danvers really said . . . whut it was she said?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again Florence nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, ain\u2019t THAT peculiar! I had dinner with that woman a couple a nights ago, \u2018n she kept blatherin\u2019 on, \u2018n on, \u2018n on t\u2019 whole night \u2018bout how much she was lookin\u2019 forward t\u2019 sharin\u2019 a waltz or two with BEN.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMa?\u201d Grace Hansen, meanwhile, ventured into the church kitchen, in search of her mother.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what, pray, do YOU want NOW?\u201d Myra Danvers demanded, turning the full force of her ever-growing frustration and outrage on a target that had unwittingly moved into very close range.<\/p>\n

Grace yelped and jumped backward. \u201cOh!\u201d she gasped, her face a sickly yellow color, her eyes round with sheer terror. \u201cM-Mrs. Danvers! I . . . I\u2019m so t-terribly s-sorry, I was looking f-for my mother \u2018cause, uhhh . . . well, I, that is, M-Miss Mudgely . . . you know, she\u2019s ummm, the . . . th-the church organist?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI KNOW who Miss Mudgely is!\u201d Myra snapped. \u201cNow would you please stop that inane babbling and come to the point?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grace flinched away from the intensity of Mrs. Danvers\u2019 glare, and meekly averted her eyes to the floor. \u201cS-she just told m-me to . . . to tell m-my mother that, umm . . . the wedding cake j-just arrived.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s ABOUT time! Where is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe men from the bakery have it at the basement door, Ma\u2019am. I . . . I\u2019ll just go and . . . and s-see if I can find Ma . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t bother,\u201d Myra said in a tone of voice, imperious and condescending. \u201cI\u2019LL see to it.\u201d With that, she abruptly turned heel and angrily flounced out of the kitchen.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Barney, m\u2019lad, I\u2019ve bad news an\u2019 I\u2019ve even worse news,\u201d Mick said dolefully. \u201cWhich do y\u2019 want t\u2019 be hearin\u2019 FIRST?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s start with t\u2019 BAD news first, Mick,\u201d Barney reluctantly chose, with heart in mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cT\u2019 bad news is . . . I found t\u2019 bucket with Boris t\u2019 Russian\u2019s \u2018vodka.\u2019 \u201d Mick held up the wooden bucket in his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but, Mick . . . that\u2019s GOOD news! That\u2019s t\u2019 BEST news I think I\u2019ve ever heard!\u201d Vastly relieved, young Barney began to babble. \u201cWhere was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn t\u2019 kitchen . . . over there!\u201d Mick pointed.<\/p>\n

Barney frowned. \u201cI don\u2019t understand, Mick. If this is t\u2019 bad news, what can possibly be t\u2019 even worse news?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee f\u2019r yourself, Lad.\u201d Mick tipped the bucket, allowing the younger man to see inside.<\/p>\n

Barney\u2019s face paled the instant he peered inside the bucket, and his jaw dropped. For a time, he stood, unmoving, staring with morbid fascination into the empty bucket, through eyes round with sheer horror. \u201cH-holy J-Jesus, Mary, \u2018n Joseph, Saints preserve us!\u201d he exclaimed, when at long last he found his voice, crossing himself vigorously.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy sentiments exactly,\u201d Mick said wryly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMick, what\u2019ll we DO?\u201d Barney cried. \u201cBoris t\u2019 Russian\u2019ll be here in . . . what time IS it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick reached into his pocket for his watch. Not finding it immediately, he scowled.<\/p>\n

\u201cM-Mick?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s gnarled fingers frantically moved through the pocket, searching for the watch. Not finding it in its customary place, he began a frenzied search of every pocket in the garments he wore. \u201cM\u2019 watch is GONE!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019ll we do NOW?\u201d Barney wailed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot t\u2019 worry! Matilda\u2019s cookin\u2019 up another batch o\u2019 \u2018vodka\u2019 right now,\u201d Barney said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?! MICK, ARE Y\u2019 DAFT?!??\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBarney, wouldja PLEASE keep your voice down?\u201d Mick clapped his hand over the young man\u2019s mouth, effectively gagging him.<\/p>\n

\u201cR-right under t\u2019 nose of t\u2019 sheriff AN\u2019 his deputy, t\u2019 church minister, t\u2019 stuck up Ladies Guild, \u2018n most o\u2019 the good folks o\u2019 Virginia City?! Oh, Holy Mary Mother of God!\u201d Barney moaned, as he once more crossed himself. \u201cWe\u2019re dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, we\u2019re not!\u201d Mick said sternly. \u201cNow I want you to g\u2019won out \u2018n wait f\u2019r Boris t\u2019 Russian at t\u2019 usual place, \u2018n stall \u2018im.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cH-how long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn hour, at least . . . longer if y\u2019 can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMick, how\u2019ll I know it\u2019s an hour? We\u2019ve NO watch!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen just stall \u2018im as long as y\u2019 can,\u201d Mick said quickly. \u201cI\u2019ve GOT t\u2019 get back t\u2019 Matilda. She\u2019s workin\u2019 on a whoppin\u2019 big batch right now, \u2018n y\u2019 know how tetchy she gets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u201d Barney gasped, his hands automatically rising to cover his open, gaping mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s cookin\u2019 up enough, I hope t\u2019 fill half that bucket,\u201d Mick said grimly.<\/p>\n

For a moment, Barney\u2019s entire body wavered.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuck up, Lad!\u201d Mick seized his young prot\u00e9g\u00e9e by the shoulders and shook him soundly. \u201cT\u2019 last thing I need right now is for y\u2019 to be faintin\u2019 dead away on me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cB-but, t\u2019 last time we tried makin\u2019 a big batch— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s \u2018cause I wasn\u2019t watchin\u2019 properly!\u201d Mick said severely. \u201cI\u2019m gonna be right there along side Matilda, nursin\u2019 her through every step o\u2019 t\u2019 way. Now g\u2019won.\u201d<\/p>\n

Barney nodded, then turned and bolted, beating a straight path to the door leading directly from the church basement outside.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cFranssshhhish, I\u2019m thirsshtee,\u201d Myrna O\u2019Hanlan giggled. \u201cBe a dear \u2018n gimme some more punsshhh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019ve had quite enough o\u2019 that punch, Myrna,\u201d Francis said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBu\u2019 I\u2019m thirsshhh-teee,\u201d Myrna pouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cMyrna . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf \u2018n YOU won\u2019 get it f\u2019r me, I\u2019ll geddit m\u2019sshelf!\u201d Myrna O\u2019Hanlan shot right out of her seat. The sudden, upward thrusting motion sent the room spinning crazily before her eyes. She took a tentative step forward, her body wavering.<\/p>\n

Francis O\u2019Hanlan was at her side in an instant. \u201cMyrna, f\u2019r heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d He seized her by the shoulders and turned her back toward the chairs they had just occupied.<\/p>\n

\u201cFranssshhhisshh . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Francis gently, yet very firmly sat her back down. \u201cMyrna, what have y\u2019 been imbibing BESIDES t\u2019 punch?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her hands, clenched into tight fists, immediately and indignantly found her hips. She glared up at her husband, thoroughly outraged. \u201cWhaddya mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean what are y\u2019 imbibing besides t\u2019 punch!\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes went round with shocked horror and indignation. \u201cFranshish Sshhean O\u2019Hanlan are y\u2019 accusshhin\u2019 ME o\u2019— ?!\u201d she gasped, outraged.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I am!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever! Ah only drink whisshhkey for medishinul purposshhes!\u201d She furiously shook her finger in his direction. \u201cAn\u2019 well ya know dat, too, Mishter Franshish Shhhahawn O\u2019Hanl\u2019n!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Hanlan?\u201d<\/p>\n

Francis looked up sharply and found himself staring into the grim face of Myra Danvers.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe wedding cake has arrived.\u201d Myra smiled, a tight cold mirthless smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about bloody time!\u201d Francis muttered, rising.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Hanlan, I am dreadfully sorry about the mix up,\u201d Myra offered her apology in a disparaging tone of voice. She sighed, and shook her head. \u201cI TOLD Mrs. Murray that the cake was to be delivered here . . . to the church . . . at nine-forty-five this morning.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Tis alright,\u201d Francis very pointedly cut her off. After the wholly unexpected turn of events during the ceremony . . . make that ceremoNIES, coupled his wife\u2019s distressing bout of heat stroke, the last thing in the world he wanted to do right now was listen to a protracted Myra Danvers tirade. \u201c \u2018Tis alright, no harm done. Least wise t\u2019 cake is here NOW, \u2018n— \u201d His words abruptly terminated in a cry of pure astonishment. \u201cM-Mrs. Danvers, that\u2019s . . . that\u2019s, ummm . . . quite a cake, if it\u2019s an inch!\u201d he stammered, the instant he once again recovered his voice.<\/p>\n

Myra\u2019s eyes reluctantly followed the line of Francis O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s gaze. Upon catching sight of the cake, her jaw dropped with a strangled, guttural cry.<\/p>\n

The confectionary masterpiece was enormous, tiered with ten layers. The largest layer on the bottom had to have at least measured the height of an average man in diameter. Though iced with white icing, the roses, leaves, ribbon, and other confectionary trim was arrayed in a myriad of dazzling, brilliant colors. On top of the cake sat the customary figures of bride and groom. This bride figure, however, was quite voluptuous, with a pair of enormous, caricatured breasts, tightly ensconced in a skintight gown, with a neckline that plunged almost to her nipples. Her groom looked on with a very appreciative smile. The white cart, upon which the cake sat, was festooned with silk ribbons, hued in hued in the same bright, gaudy colors as the trim on the cake.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I thought I\u2019d asked y\u2019 to order one big enough t\u2019 serve between a hundred \u2018n a hundred \u2018n fifty! I\u2019ll bet this one could serve TWENTY times that, \u2018n still have lots left over! Madam, if this . . . this OUTRAGE is s\u2019posed t\u2019 be some kinda JOKE— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Hanlan, that is NOT the cake I ordered!\u201d Myra moaned softly. \u201cIt\u2019s NOT!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and y\u2019d best NOT be addin\u2019 t\u2019 cost o\u2019 that monstrosity t\u2019 my bill either,\u201d Francis stated with a curt nod of his head for emphasis. \u201cI\u2019m more than willin\u2019 to pay for the cake I asked for, mind— \u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cPa . . . Stacy . . . come ON!\u201d Joe urged, grinning from ear-to-ear, as he came up from behind his father and sister, and gently linked his arms through theirs. \u201cThey\u2019re getting ready to cut the wedding cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFinally!\u201d Stacy exclaimed. \u201cI hope it\u2019s chocolate.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe turned to his sister with a look of horror on his face so grotesque, it was almost comical. \u201cA . . . A wedding cake that\u2019s . . . ummm, what you just said?!\u201d he queried, then vigorously shook his head. \u201cNo! You will never . . . EVER . . . see a . . . a wedding cake that\u2019s . . . that\u2019s wh-what you . . . j-just . . . said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Cause it\u2019s terrible bad luck, Kiddo,\u201d Joe replied with a melodramatic shudder. \u201cIn fact, I think it\u2019s just about the worst kinda bad luck there is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is having a choc—?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSsshhh!\u201d Joe quickly hushed her. He cast a quick, furtive glance over his left shoulder, then over his right. \u201cStacy . . . y-you shouldn\u2019t oughtta be saying a thing like that, NOT inside a church for heaven\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI shouldn\u2019t be saying a thing like . . . what?\u201d Stacy demanded, favoring her brother with a bewildered frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cA thing like . . . what . . . you, umm . . . just said,\u201d Joe replied in a tone of voice a bit too solemn.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean . . . ch—?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSshhh!\u201d Joe immediately shushed her once again. \u201cStacy Rose Cartwright, if Reverend Hildebrandt ever hears you say that . . . . \u201d He groaned, and rolled his eyes heavenward.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrandpa, if you don\u2019t tell me why a ch— . . . why MY favorite kinda cake\u2019s bad luck for a wedding cake, and why I can\u2019t say it in church, I\u2019m gonna tickle you silly!\u201d Stacy threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean to tell me you . . . that you don\u2019t know the OTHER name for your favorite kind of cake?\u201d Joe queried.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT other name?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glanced over his shoulder again, then bent down and whispered in her ear, \u201cDEVILSfood.\u201d<\/p>\n

The look of horrified astonishment on Stacy\u2019s face sent Joe into peals of laughter, dragging their father along with him. \u201cJoseph Francis Cartwright, you made that up!\u201d she accused.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo . . . n-no, I didn\u2019t!\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cChocolate cake IS also known as devils food. It\u2019s the truth, Kid . . . I swear . . . it\u2019s the pure, unvarnished truth!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Stacy queried, turning her attention to Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I can\u2019t, ummm . . . vouch for anything ELSE your brother said, but he\u2019s right about devils food cake being another name for chocolate cake,\u201d Ben confirmed, as his laughter began to subside.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey named it after YOU, \u2018cause you love it so darn much,\u201d Joe added, with a smug grin, \u201cjust like they named ANGEL food cake after ME because that\u2019s MY favorite.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey did NOT!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey did SO!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s impossible!\u201d Stacy argued. \u201cBecause if they HAD named angel food cake after you, they would\u2019ve named it FALLEN angel food cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe responded by sticking out his tongue.<\/p>\n

Stacy returned the gesture.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Children . . . I think you two need to settle down,\u201d Ben said with an amused smile. \u201cWe ARE out in public, don\u2019t forget and you need to conduct your— \u201d His remaining words ended abruptly in a strangled gasp. Visions of the small cake, exquisitely decorated, lying crushed to a pulp beneath the door opening from the barroom into the back room at the Silver Dollar the night of the bachelor party began to dance through his head. \u201cOh no . . . please . . . no!\u201d he whispered, as the blood drained right out of his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Stacy queried anxiously, placing a tentative hand on his arm.<\/p>\n

Ben started violently. All of a sudden his eyes were no longer on the oversized wedding cake, with the figures of buxom bride and leering groom gracing its top tier, but on the anxious, apprehensive faces of his two younger children.<\/p>\n

\u201cY-You alright?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cF-fine,\u201d Ben stammered. He placed a paternal hand on Joe\u2019s right shoulder and on Stacy\u2019s left, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile. The deepening furrows, already creasing their brows, told him at once he had failed miserably. \u201cI-I\u2019m fine,\u201d he said again, giving each a gentle squeeze. \u201cHonest!\u201d<\/p>\n

Though neither Joe nor Stacy questioned him, he knew by the looks on their faces and in the quick, furtive exchange of glances, that they entertained grave doubts.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

In the midst of the growing circle of wedding guests, come to toast the brides and the grooms and partake of the wedding cake, Hoss took up position next to his older brother. \u201cSay, uhhh . . . Adam?\u201d he queried softly, his eyes taking in the height and breadth of the ostentatious wedding cake rising up before them. \u201cY-You don\u2019t s\u2019pose . . . . ?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t suppose . . . what, Big Brother?\u201d Adam asked in a complacent tone of voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah . . . . \u201d Hoss sighed, remembering that by the time they had gotten around to serving the cake, rather TRYING to serve the cake, at the party last night, Adam lay stretched out on one of the tables, snoozing deep in the cups of \u2018Bombed Bay.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Adam prompted, as he turned and glanced over at his younger brother with left eyebrow slightly upraised.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothin\u2019, Adam, don\u2019t pay me no never mind . . . . \u201d Hoss fervently hoped and prayed that the horrible suspicions now mushrooming with an almost sickening rapidity within his thoughts would prove very wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cGather \u2018round, Ladies \u2018n Gents, . . . please, gather \u2018round . . . \u2018n make sure your glasses are full,\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan beckoned everyone to come forward. He caught sight of his wife, glassy eyed and leaning heavily on their son for support, standing at the edge of the crowd.<\/p>\n

Florence and Grace Hansen, along with other members of the Ladies\u2019 Guild, dutifully circulated through the throng of wedding guests, now gathering about the cake, carrying trays of punch cups filled to the brim with the former\u2019s special pink recipe.<\/p>\n

\u201cLadies \u2018n Gents, attention!\u201d Francis called for order. \u201cAttention, if y\u2019 please!\u201d<\/p>\n

Gradually, the chattering faded to silence, as all eyes turned expectantly toward Francis O\u2019Hanlan.<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst, Hoss Cartwright will toast Apollo and his new bride, m\u2019 daughter, Colleen,\u201d Francis announced. \u201cAfter we drink to t\u2019 health of Apollo \u2018n Colleen, Adam Cartwright will give t\u2019 toast for Matt \u2018n Clarissa. Once we\u2019ve drunk to THEIR health, both couples\u2019ll cut this monster of a weddin\u2019 cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stepped forward, grinning from ear to ear. \u201cI\u2019m not much for pretty speeches \u2018n all, \u2018specially when I\u2019m asked to do this all of a sudden, but here goes.\u201d He raised his glass. \u201cTo Apollo \u2018n Colleen, I\u2019m pretty danged sure I speak f\u2019r everyone here in wishin\u2019 you both health, prosperity, good luck, a lotta happiness, an\u2019 many, many years together t\u2019 enjoy it all. Cheers!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss touched his punch cup to the newly wed Nikolases, then turned and clinked cups with Francis, then Molly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBig Brother, for a man who\u2019s not much for pretty words, you do very well,\u201d Adam complimented Hoss with a proud smile, as they touched glasses.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Adam. That\u2019s high praise comin\u2019 from YOU . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Joe, Stacy, and Hop Sing raised their glasses in the general direction of Apollo and Colleen. Ben stood unmoving, punch cup in hand, his eyes glued to the cake.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright?\u201d Hop Sing with increasing uneasiness scrutinized the pale, stricken face of his employer and old friend.<\/p>\n

Ben started, nearly spilling the contents of the cup in hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing sorry for scaring Number One Boss of the Ponderosa,\u201d Hop Sing murmured softly, as his own concern for Ben\u2019s well being deepened. \u201cIs Mister Cartwright sick?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. \u201cN-no, Hop Sing, I\u2019m fine, honest \u2018n truly, I\u2019m just fine,\u201d he babbled. \u201cI was just lost in thought, that\u2019s all . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa!\u201d Stacy gasped, after taking a generous gulp from the pink liquid in her cup. \u201cWhat\u2019s IN this punch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno, but Hop Sing, I sure hope you can get the recipe,\u201d Joe drained his cup, then licked his lips appreciatively. \u201cThis is without a doubt the best punch I\u2019ve EVER had.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing, glared at the cup in his hand with open suspicion, then raised it to his nose and sniffed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Hop Sing?\u201d Ben queried, noting the grimace on the Chinese man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing very gingerly brought the edge of the cup to his lips and took a tentative sip. \u201cHoly smoke!\u201d he exclaimed, his eyes wide with shocked astonishment. \u201cTake pink stuff easy, Little Joe. This punch pack OWN punch!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

After everyone drank a toast to Colleen and Apollo Nikolas, Adam stepped forward, cued by a nod from Francis O\u2019Hanlan.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy big brother here\u2019s going to be a hard act to follow, but I\u2019ll do my best,\u201d Adam said in all sincerity. He raised his glass. \u201cMatt and Clarissa, I, and I\u2019m pretty sure everyone gathered around the cake right now, wish you both a long life together full of good health, luck, and prosperity. I also add a paraphrase from Mister Charles Dickens . . . \u2018may you both be happy in the life you have chosen.\u2019 \u201d Smiling, he touched his glass to Matt\u2019s and Clarissa\u2019s, then to Sally Tyler\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and now, Folks, \u2018tis time t\u2019 cut the cake!\u201d Francis announced.<\/p>\n

The two couples moved up to the cake, and taking the knife in hand, made the first slice.<\/p>\n

\u201cSURPRISE!\u201d Three scantily clad young women gleefully shouted as they leapt out from within, sending large chunks of cake and icing flying in all directions.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uuuuhhh Lordy!\u201d Hoss groaned, as a large glob of cake, generously heaped with icing flew past his face and smacked Myrna O\u2019Hanlan upside the head. He searched for his father amid the sea of faces, all displaying the entire spectrum of human emotion, as they watched the three women emerge from the cake. Hoss found him, standing at the back edge of the crowd, almost directly facing him. Ben\u2019s pale face, eyes round with a kind of fatalistic resignation, almost certainly had to be a mirror image of his own.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the tallest of the three women stepped forward. She had red hair the color of a sunset at its most brilliant, luminous green eyes, and a dazzling, brilliant smile. She wore a strapless green sequined corset and matching panties that enhanced the color of her eyes. Both corset and panties were made of silk and trimmed with black lace. Her shoes, high heel laced in the front with a bow, had been dyed to match the color of the silk used to make her corset and panties. For contrast, she wore dark green stockings. \u201cNow who\u2019s the lucky bachelor— \u201d<\/p>\n

Her brilliant, dazzling smile quickly evaporated upon catching sight of the wedding guests present. The vast majority stood unmoving, as if suddenly deep-frozen stiff. She slowly turned her head, and glancing over her shoulder, caught sight of Colleen Nikolas in her wedding gown, staring back with a bemused expression on her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey! What IS this?! I thought this was s\u2019posed to be a BACHELOR party!?\u201d one of the other girls exclaimed. She had chestnut brown curls, and a scarlet face that clashed with her pink sequined corset, trimmed in black, and matching pink silk panties.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like we\u2019ve, ummm . . . arrived a little late for the, uhh . . . b-bachelor party?\u201d the tall red head observed with a tremulous smile that never came close to reaching her eyes.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHot diggity—! Now THAT\u2019S what I call a wedding cake!\u201d Joe declared, grinning from ear to ear, completely oblivious to his father\u2019s ever increasing discomfort. \u201cI\u2019m gonna mosey on over there and get a closer look. Pa . . . Stacy . . . you wanna come along?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks, Grandpa,\u201d Stacy declined. \u201cThe sight of three woman in their underwear doesn\u2019t do a whole lot for me, I\u2019m afraid . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Ben merely sighed and gazed longingly up toward the heavens, praying fervently that the earth to open up and provide a nice, deep hole into which he could crawl.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

A low guttural growl rose from the depths of Myrna O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s throat as she attempted to scrape the enormous, sticky wad of cake and icing from the left side of her face and head. Two large globs oozed through her fingers and plopped down onto her bodice, drawing forth a strange hybrid cross between a woebegone moan and an angry high-pitched scream.<\/p>\n

The strangled, bestial cries issuing from his mother\u2019s throat and mouth turned Frankie\u2019s blood to ice. \u201cM-Ma?\u201d he stammered, looking on helplessly.<\/p>\n

After long moments of grunting, growling, snarling, and the utterance of a string of obscenities, whose exact pronunciations were thankfully lost under the influence of Florence Hansen\u2019s pink punch, Myrna O\u2019Hanlan finally managed to scrape most of the gooey mass onto the floor. Several enormous roughly circular shaped grease stains, caused by the liberal amounts of lard folded into the icing, appeared on her bodice and skirt. Cake and icing remained in her dark hair, and her left cheek and fingers were sticky. \u201cUuuggh! Whosh reshponsible for dish . . . for dish ow\u2019rage?\u201d she sputtered angrily.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it came from over there.\u201d Frankie pointed in the direction of the three girls who had come out of the cake. The trio stood huddled together, talking, casting the occasional furtive glance at the assembled guests, and shrugging.<\/p>\n

Myrna stood for a long moment, her body wavering as she struggled to maintain balance, staring with rude intensity at the three girls standing next to the cake. \u201cWho\u2019re they?\u201d she demanded in a loud voice. \u201c \u2018N what\u2019re they doin\u2019 runnin\u2019 \u2018roun\u2019 in dere unnerwear?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I dunno, Ma,\u201d Frankie said. He gingerly took his mother by the arm, and tried to pull her in the direction of the nearest empty chair. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come on over here \u2018n sit down . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d Myrna whipped her arm from her son\u2019s grasp. The sudden move sent her reeling backward. She waggled her arms vigorously in a desperate attempt to remain on her feet, shrieking like a banshee all the while. Her valiant efforts, however, were all in vain. She stepped backwards into a mound of icing. Before she could even begin to realize what was happening, both feet slipped out from under her. She toppled to the floor and landed with a loud, sickening thud on her rump. \u201cFraaaang-gie, help yer poor ol\u2019 mama up!\u201d she groaned, extending her hand.<\/p>\n

There was a sprinkling of soft titters from among the crowd gathered, and a loud, horrified gasp from Clara Mudgely.<\/p>\n

Frankie, his cheeks flushed crimson, obediently knelt down beside his mother, carefully avoiding eye contact with the people standing next to them. With his help, Myrna rose ungracefully to her feet. Her body wavered again, then stabilized.<\/p>\n

\u201cOohhh, laugh at ME will dey? We\u2019ll sshhh . . . we\u2019ll. SSSS-SEE. who getsh da las\u2019 laugh!\u201d Myrna muttered under her breath. She leaned over, her entire body weaving precariously, and scraped a sticky handful of confection from the floor.<\/p>\n

An apprehensive, bewildered frown creased Frankie\u2019s brow. \u201cMa? W-what\u2019re ya doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrna circled her arm around, half a dozen times very fast, then released the sticky glop in her hand. It missed its intended target, the tall redhead who had come out of the cake, by the proverbial wide mile, and hit Francis O\u2019Hanlan full in the face.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cWow! Adam . . . Hoss . . . didja see THAT?!\u201d Joe guffawed. \u201cPOW!\u201d He smacked his right palm with his left fist. \u201cRight in the ol\u2019 kisser! . . . and here I thought Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan couldn\u2019t hit the broad side of a barn from three feet away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. O\u2019Hanlan wasn\u2019t aiming for her husband, Little Brother,\u201d Adam observed with a wry smile. \u201cI\u2019m fairly certain she was aiming for THAT young lady . . . over there.\u201d He inclined his head in the general direction of the red haired woman, clad in the green corset and panties.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah? How do you figure, Adam?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, taking into account Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s position— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUgh!\u201d Francis O\u2019Hanlan snorted, as he scraped cake and icing from his face with his bare hands. \u201cWHAT F**KING EEJIT\u2019S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OUTRAGE?!\u201d he angrily demanded, shaking the sticky excess onto the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uuhhh, LORDY!\u201d Hoss moaned softly. He slowly turned his back on the O\u2019Hanlans, the cake, and the three lovely young women who had jumped out of the cake . . . and buried his face hands. His acute distress immediately drew the attention of his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Adam queried, as he and Joe flanked their biggest brother on either side. \u201cHoss . . . are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss responded with an agonized groan.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeatstroke!\u201d Joe said. \u201cAdam, it\u2019s gotta be heatstroke.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019re right,\u201d Adam agreed, as his golden brown eyes took in the beads of sweat dotting Hoss\u2019 brow, and the bright red complexion visible beyond the space of his hands. \u201cIt IS awfully warm down here . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I thought I overheard someone say that\u2019s what\u2019s wrong with Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Colleen, meanwhile, gazed from one parent to the other through eyes round with astonishment. \u201cPa?\u201d she ventured hesitantly, as her father tried to wipe the cake and icing from his hair. \u201cPa . . . y-you\u2019re not going to believe this . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTry me, Pumpkin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was MA!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh . . . what, exactly was your ma?\u201d Francis asked, as he turned and favored his eldest daughter with a bewildered frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa was the one who threw . . . that,\u201d Colleen replied, pointing to the sticky goop lying on the floor at her father\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod\u2019s honest truth!\u201d Colleen said earnestly. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have believed it either, if I hadn\u2019t seen it with my own eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

A slow, devilish smile spread across Francis O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhhh . . . Pa?!\u201d Colleen queried, faintly alarmed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo your ma wants t\u2019 get frisky, eh? Ohhh-kaaa-aaayyy . . . I\u2019LL give her frisky . . . . \u201d With that, Francis turned and grabbed a generous hunk of cake that had landed on the punch and cookie table when the three girls jumped out.<\/p>\n

Myrna O\u2019Hanlan suddenly found herself staring straight into her husband\u2019s face, with that determined smile and impish bedevilment gleaming in his eyes with the same intensity of a roaring fire. \u201cFranssshhh . . . uuhh, Fran-Sis . . . what\u2019re ya doin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGivin\u2019 a whole new meanin\u2019 to the idea o\u2019 sweet revenge, M\u2019 Dear!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Molly . . . . \u201d Joe sidled up to the youngest of the O\u2019Hanlan offspring, with full punch cup in hand. She stood at near the front of the crowd gathered, behind her mother and brother, Frankie. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with your ma and pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t the foggiest idea!\u201d Molly said with a shrug.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Frankie turned at the sound of his sister\u2019s and Joe Cartwright\u2019s voices. \u201cI think Ma\u2019s drunk!\u201d he said, taking great pains to keep his voice low.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not DRUNK!\u201d Myrna declared with an indignant stamp of her foot. She turned her full attention back to her husband just in time to see him pull back to throw the glob of cake, and mostly icing. She let out an ear-piercing scream, and dove for the floor in the exact same instant the wad of cake left Francis\u2019 hand. The gooey missile ended up striking Joe Cartwright square in the face.<\/p>\n

Molly gasped, and involuntarily took a step backward.<\/p>\n

Three long strides brought Adam to his youngest brother\u2019s side in seconds. \u201cJoe?\u201d he queried anxiously.<\/p>\n

Joe, in response, blew away the portion of cake covering his mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Adam . . . hey! Not bad,\u201d Joe declared with a grin, after sampling a clump of icing that had oozed from his face down onto his shirt. \u201cYou know what this MEANS, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a matter of fact, no! I don\u2019t!\u201d Adam replied, warily noting the impish twinkle that had suddenly appeared in his youngest brother\u2019s eyes. \u201cI may hate myself for asking, but . . . what DOES this mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCAKE FIGHT!\u201d Joe shouted with gleeful abandon. He bent down and scooped up a handful of cake and icing from the floor, and, as he straightened, began to pack it as he might a snowball.<\/p>\n

Adam clamped a restraining hand on Joe\u2019s left arm. \u201c . . . and just what do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m defending my honor!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPut it down, Little Brother,\u201d Adam ordered sternly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI SAID . . . put it down.\u201d Adam seized Joe\u2019s wrist and shook the gooey mass from his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey! What did you do THAT for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour own protection.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy PROTECTION?!\u201d Joe echoed, looking over at his eldest brother with a look of complete and utter disbelief.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou get involved in ANOTHER fracas so soon after what happened last night, Pa\u2019s gonna nail your hide to the barn wall for sure,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Joe looked over at his oldest brother in surprise. \u201cHow\u2019d YOU know about THAT?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve overheard snatches of gossip here and there,\u201d Adam said glaring at his brother suspiciously. \u201cI\u2019ve not been able to get the WHOLE story because people clam up the minute they see me, but I\u2019ve sure heard enough to at least figure out there was some kind of uproar last night, and that YOU and our young sister were in it clear up to your armpits.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re about to threaten me with making mention of what you\u2019ve overheard to Pa, Oldest Brother, you might as well save your breath,\u201d Joe said with a smug grin. \u201cPa knows all about last night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything?\u201d Adam demanded, his eyes narrowing with suspicion.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything,\u201d Joe affirmed.<\/p>\n

Another errant piece of cake flew across the room from a battle that had escalated to include both grooms, and two of the girls who had jumped out of the cake, in addition to Francis and Myrna O\u2019Hanlan. This one struck Adam upside his head, with force sufficient to knock him right off his feet. He hit the floor with a dull, sickening thud, and remained, lying flat on his back with arms and legs splayed in all directions.<\/p>\n

\u201cA-Adam?!\u201d Joe queried anxiously. He knelt down alongside his oldest brother, then learned over and peered into his face. \u201cAdam . . . y-you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m. Fine.\u201d Adam replied through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

With a look of withering disdain, he deftly, and with a flourish, removed his handkerchief from his coat pocket and shook it out. He, then, mopped the mess of cake and icing from his face and hair, as best he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis can only mean one thing,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d Joe queried, not quite knowing what to expect. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCAKE FIGHT!\u201d Adam shouted as he barreled headlong toward the melee.<\/p>\n

\u201cRIGHT BEHIND YA, OLDEST BROTHER OF MINE!\u201d Joe cried with glee, as he followed close to Adam\u2019s heels.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMick, whaddya doin\u2019?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn glanced up sharply from his place on the short stool next to Matilda, and found Macon Fitzhugh standing beside him, glaring balefully down from lofty heights. \u201cI can\u2019t talk t\u2019 ya NOW, Macon,\u201d he said crossly. \u201cI\u2019ve got Matilda hard at work cookin\u2019 up a great big emergency order, \u2018n I\u2019ve got t\u2019— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDang it! That blamed fool contraption o\u2019 yours is makin\u2019 one helluva racket! Y\u2019 gotta make her work quiet!\u201d Macon rudely cut Mick off. \u201cFolks is already starin\u2019, Mick . . . \u2018n if\u2019n any one of \u2018em takes a notion t\u2019 start askin\u2019 t\u2019 good reverend questions what may end up bein\u2019 embarrassin\u2019 as all get out for you \u2018n me . . . . \u201d His voice trailed away to an ominous silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cHalf \u2018n hour, Macon. At t\u2019 very most . . . I\u2019ll have that emergency batch whipped out in half \u2018n hour,\u201d Mick pleaded. \u201cBut, Matilda, here\u2019s, gotta keep right on puttin\u2019 out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t so sure that\u2019s a real good idea . . . . \u201d Macon murmured softly, \u201c \u2018cause last time she started makin\u2019 all them funny kinds o\u2019 sounds? She blew sky high!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT was Sweet Betsy,\u201d Mick declared, \u201c \u2018n she COULD be a real temperamental ol\u2019 battle axe, bless her heart, may she rest in peace! But Matilda here . . . . \u201d He leaned over and patted the top of his still affectionately. \u201cWhen I built Matilda, I fixed t\u2019 things that ended up leadin\u2019 t\u2019 Sweet Betsy\u2019s tragic demise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why\u2019s she makin\u2019 all them funny noises?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMacon, Macon, Macon . . . y\u2019 worry too much,\u201d Mick chided his friend with a doleful shake of his head. \u201cMatilda WON\u2019T blow, \u2018n t\u2019 make sure? I\u2019m gonna stay put right here so\u2019s I can keep a real close eye on \u2018er.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell . . . ok, I s\u2019pose,\u201d Macon reluctantly gave in. \u201cY\u2019 DID say half an hour?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Macon . . . half \u2018n hour! No more . . . no less!\u201d Mick affirmed with a mirthless grin. \u201cNow b\u2019fore ya run off, would ya mind telling me what time it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

Macon reached into his pocket for his own watch. \u201cHey! M\u2019 watch\u2019s gone . . . an\u2019 so\u2019s m\u2019 wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMy goodness! Folks sure are thirsty!\u201d Florence Hansen murmured softly, just under her breath, as she finished refilling the punch bowls for the fifth time.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell! It would appear that my timing is most impeccable, if I do say so myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence looked up and saw Reverend Hildebrandt leaning against the door jam. \u201cYes,\u201d she said smiling and duly noting his gaze fixed longingly on the punch bowl, filled nearly to the brim, \u201cI\u2019ve just finished making it up, Reverend. May I get you a glass?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d he said gratefully. \u201cThat would be wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence removed a tall, clean glass from one of the overhead cabinets, and filled it. \u201cHere you are,\u201d she murmured, as she carefully placed the glass into his outstretched hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Hansen . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

She heard the apprehension in his voice loud and clear. \u201cOh dear . . . is there something wrong with the punch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Ma\u2019am, quite the contrary! The punch is delicious,\u201d Daniel Hildebrandt said very quickly. \u201cI just happened to notice that your lovely pearl necklace seems to be missing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence smiled, relieved. \u201cThe clasp came loose, so rather than risk losing it altogether, I took it off and put it in my pocket.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a relief.\u201d Daniel Hildebrandt raised the glass to his lips and took a generous swallow. \u201cI overhead a some of the men out there complaining of missing watches and wallets, and I wanted to be sure your necklace was safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for your concern, Reverend, but rest assured it\u2019s safe and sound right here.\u201d Florence patted the deep pocket on the right side of her long, full skirt. Suddenly, the color drained from her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Hansen? Are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I thought sure, I . . . . \u201d Florence murmured as her fingers desperately roamed the inside of her pocket in search of the double strand pearl necklace. \u201cI\u2019m almost positive . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Hansen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Florence looked up at the clergyman, her eyes round with shock, and lower lip trembling. \u201cReverend Hildebrandt . . . my necklace is g-gone!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShall I get Sheriff Coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I suppose you should . . . I guess, if . . . if h-he\u2019s up for it,\u201d Florence murmured, her voice breaking. \u201cHe w-was stricken with . . . with heat stroke, too . . . along with poor Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan, bless her heart! Oh dear! I-I\u2019m so sorry . . . here I am on the verge of . . . of bawling my eyes out like some silly school girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re certainly entitled, Mrs. Hansen. That necklace is not only valuable in terms of money, but, as I recall, you told me it belonged to your mother?\u201d Daniel reached into the inside pocket of his coat for a handkerchief.<\/p>\n

Florence nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She did look up, however, upon hearing a sudden, sharp intake of breath. \u201cR-Reverend Hildebrandt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy prayer book!\u201d he whispered, his eyes wide with shocked indignation. \u201cIt\u2019s GONE!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cMy wallet! I thought sure, I . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know sure as anything I put two dollars in my handbag this morning. Now they\u2019re GONE!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had that bag o\u2019 gold dust right here in my coat pocket . . . right here! I know I did!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan Hurley, WHAT are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t pop your corset, Sis,\u201d Harlan Hurley said in as bland a tone as he could manage.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s DAVID\u2019S jacket!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Fraid not, Cass! Classic case o\u2019 mistaken identity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe name is CassSANDRA!\u201d the girl stated indignantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell pardon me, CassSANDRA!\u201d Harlan retorted. \u201cIn any case, THIS jacket is DAVID\u2019S . . . . \u201d he pointed to the one he held in his hand by the collar. \u201cThat one there on the chair next to Pa\u2019s is MINE.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou going\u2019 somewhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

Harlan carefully placed the jacket in hand down on the chair, taking the other in exchange. \u201cYeah,\u201d he said evasively.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNone of your business.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cassandra Hurley eyed her older brother suspiciously. \u201cYou\u2019re goin\u2019 off with that Pruella Danvers creature, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s none o\u2019 your business, either, Cassandra,\u201d Harlan said stiffly, \u201cand I\u2019ll thank you NOT to refer to her in that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2019s NOT gonna be happy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t give a da— \u201d Harlan broke off quickly. He had learned much to his dismay earlier on in the week that he was definitely NOT too old, at the venerable age of nineteen going on twenty, for his mother to wash his mouth out with soap. \u201cI don\u2019t care whether Pa\u2019s gonna be happy or not! Pruella\u2019s bored with watching people getting drunk and throwing cake at each other, and frankly, so am I. You can tell Pa \u2018n Ma I\u2019ll see \u2018em at home later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow MUCH later?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust later!\u201d Harlan snapped, as he tossed the other jacket over his shoulder. He turned heel and stormed off, before she could question him further.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn it! My wallet\u2019s missin\u2019!\u201d Hoss declared with a scowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlake Wilson and a few others are missing THEIR wallets, too,\u201d Ben said grimly. \u201cIt would appear The Robber Baron of Virginia City\u2019s been hard at work while the rest us have been having a good time, letting our guards down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what about my envelope?\u201d Stacy asked anxiously. \u201cThe one I gave you for safe keeping?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben quickly checked the inside pocket of his jacket. The envelope was still there, nestled deep. \u201cIt\u2019s still safe, Stacy,\u201d he quickly reassured her, \u201cand I still seem to have my wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Sheriff Coffee?\u201d Hoss asked. \u201cI hate like all mixin\u2019 business with what oughtta be pleasure, but . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know how you feel, Son,\u201d Ben said quietly, \u201cbut you DO need to tell Roy about your wallet, and sooner rather than later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s over there talking with Mister and Mrs. Hurley, Big Brother,\u201d Stacy discreetly pointed in Sheriff Coffee\u2019s general direction. \u201cBut from the looks of things, I think you\u2019re gonna have to stand in line.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Ben made their way across the room toward Sheriff Coffee and the cluster of irate citizens circled around him. Stacy followed behind her father and brother at a slower pace.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Everybody, jus\u2019 simmer down a minute!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSIMMER DOWN?!\u201d Blake Wilson shouted indignantly. \u201cRoy Coffee, that gol\u2019 durn pick pocket\u2019s probably half way t\u2019 Mexico by now with MY wallet— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot t\u2019 mention my WATCH, Sheriff,\u201d Macon Fitzhugh growled.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . an\u2019 MY watch!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . . an\u2019 YOU\u2019RE tellin\u2019 US t\u2019 SIMMER DOWN?\u201d That was Sam, the bartender.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t make heads nor tails outta nothin\u2019 with the lot o\u2019 ya all talkin\u2019 at once,\u201d Roy said sternly. \u201cNow one at a time! Blake, we\u2019ll start with YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy wallet\u2019s gone!\u201d Blake said. \u201cAt first I thought maybe I\u2019d just left it home . . . I been a mite forgetful with all the weddin\u2019 doin\u2019s . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did NOT leave it at home, Roy!\u201d Erma Wilson stated with an emphatic nod of her head. \u201cI stood there and watched him put that wallet in his back pocket before we left to come to the church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlake, when didja notice that your wallet wasn\u2019t in your back pocket?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

Blake frowned. \u201cI ain\u2019t rightly sure,\u201d he said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I know for fact when MY watch \u2018n wallet disappeared!\u201d Macon Fitzhugh said. \u201cIt was right after I had that run in with Harley Hurlen, only it wasn\u2019t HIM! He said he was \u2018is brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid?\u201d Blake asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t realize my pearl necklace was missin\u2019 until just now,\u201d Florence Hansen said sadly, \u201cbut I remember havin\u2019 a run in with David Hurley myself, early on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo did I,\u201d Blake said, \u201can\u2019 now that Mrs. Hansen here mentions it, I saw him run right smack dab into three other people, before he up \u2018n bumped into ME.\u201d<\/p>\n

David Hurley, standing at the edge of the crowd flanked on either side by his parents, vigorously shook his head. \u201cNo!\u201d he stated emphatically. \u201cNo! It wasn\u2019t ME! I swear . . . it wasn\u2019t me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was wearin\u2019 a blue jacket,\u201d one of the other men said. \u201cThere it is! It\u2019s on that chair over next to the wall!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s my jacket, but I didn\u2019t steal anything!\u201d David stoutly maintained his innocence.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mind if we have a look at your jacket, David?\u201d Roy asked. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to, now . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead!\u201d David readily gave permission. \u201cIf it\u2019ll prove me innocent, then please! Go ahead!\u201d<\/p>\n

David Hurley watched, his eyes round with shocked horror and dismay, as Sheriff Coffee removed wallets, watches, rings, small bottles and flasks filled to varying levels with bootleg whiskey, and a myriad of other objects stolen from people during the wedding reception. There was also a small, pocket sized, leather bound Bible-Prayer Book that belonged to Reverend Hildebrandt. Roy piled the stolen items on the table next to the near-empty punch bowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! No! This can\u2019t be, it CAN\u2019T!\u201d David protested, shaking his head in utter disbelief. \u201cI didn\u2019t take ANY of that stuff, I swear I didn\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldja care to explain how it came to be in the pockets o\u2019 YOUR jacket?\u201d Roy asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I don\u2019t know . . . . \u201d David vigorously shook his head. \u201cI honestly don\u2019t know. All I DO know is that I didn\u2019t take any of that stuff!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy spotted Harlan Hurley standing on the opposite side of the circle, with one arm languidly draped around Pruella Danvers\u2019 shoulders, and a jacket over his free arm the same color blue as the one in Roy Coffee\u2019s possession. Harlan watched the proceedings with a smug cat-that-ate-the-cream smile on his face, while his twin brother, David, looked on helplessly as the sheriff pulled a double strand pearl necklace, belonging to Florence Hansen from the inside pocket. Stacy noted that the latter twin\u2019s face was a deathly pale and his eyes were unusually bright. Her eyes darted around the room, as the beginnings of an idea took shape in her mind.<\/p>\n

She quickly scanned the faces in the gathering crowd, searching for Lotus and Timmy O\u2019Toole. She spotted them standing at the edge of the gathered crowd, next to the stairs leading up out of the basement.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could be in a world of trouble for this,\u201d Stacy mused grimly, as she elbowed her way through the crowd, toward Lotus and Timmy, \u201cbut better that than let an innocent man go to jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like Sheriff Coffee\u2019s caught Virginia\u2019s City Robber Baron,\u201d Lotus remarked to Stacy, as the latter approached.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it would seem so,\u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetween you and me, I don\u2019t think he\u2019s the one,\u201d Lotus said in a low voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019re right,\u201d Stacy agreed, \u201cand I know how to prove it.\u201d She knelt down, bringing herself eye to eye with Lotus\u2019 young son. \u201cTimmy,\u201d she said, \u201cI need to ask a big favor of you . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Stacy?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to borrow your cap gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Timmy immediately handed Stacy his toy with a bemused grin on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy Cartwright, what kind of mischief are you up to now?\u201d Lotus queried, as memory of the Cartwright daughter\u2019s activities at the Silver Dollar surfaced with a vengeance to the forefront of her thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I might like to know the answer to that one myself,\u201d a wry masculine voice, originating directly behind her, said.<\/p>\n

Stacy slowly, almost reluctantly turned and glanced over her shoulder. There, she saw her older brother Adam, covered from head to toe with cake and icing, his arms folded across his chest, glowering. \u201cI\u2019m going to prevent an innocent man from going to jail,\u201d she said. \u201cI can use your help on this, Oldest Brother, seeing as how you and I are the only ones who can positively identify the thief.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSurely you\u2019re not suggesting . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa will have BOTH of our hides!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have any OTHER ideas?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Fraid not,\u201d Adam said with a fatalistic shrug. \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, please!\u201d David begged, his voice breaking. \u201cI . . . I honestly don\u2019t know WHERE that stuff came from.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know where it came from,\u201d a young heckler among the gathered crowd said derisively. \u201cIt all came outta YOUR coat pocket.\u201d A smattering of mirthless chuckles and titters rose among the people surrounding him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, this is all a very big mistake,\u201d Jack Hurley insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Mister Hurley . . . and your son made it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jack leveled a withering glare at the young boy who had just spoken. \u201cRoy, you said all these thefts\u2019ve been goin\u2019 on for the last couple o\u2019 months,\u201d he said. \u201cAm I right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah . . . that\u2019s true,\u201d Roy agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, THIS is the first time David\u2019s been to town since before last Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSURE it is, Mister Hurley!\u201d Millicent Adams, daughter of the Seth Adams, president of the Municipal Bank in Virginia City, said, not bothering to conceal her insolence and disdain.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you see here, Gal,\u201d Jack sternly admonished Millicent. \u201cI can overlook a few things seein\u2019 as how you ain\u2019t been taught proper manners, but I don\u2019t cotton to anybody . . . man, woman, or child . . . callin\u2019 me a liar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I don\u2019t take very kindly to any man, woman, or child saying that MY daughter is lacking in proper etiquette,\u201d Hannah Adams returned in a deep booming voice that carried across the entire room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Lady . . . if the shoe FITS— \u201d Athena growled. The effects of all the pink punch she had imbibed had begun to wear off, leaving her with an upset stomach and the worst headache it had ever been her misfortune to suffer in her entire life.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hardly think the mother of a . . . a known criminal, or the father either, for that matter has any right to criticize MY daughter for a mere breech in etiquette!\u201d Hannah sputtered, angry and indignant.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy son is NOT a criminal!\u201d Athena stubbornly maintained.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Adams . . . \u2018n you, too, Mrs. Hurley . . . I\u2019ll thank y\u2019 both to stay out of this,\u201d Roy reprimanded the two women sternly.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy, meanwhile, caught sight of Harlan Hurley and Pruella Danvers edging their way over toward the basement stairs. \u201cCome on, Adam, we\u2019ve got to stop him,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey! He looks just like . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d Stacy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cIdentical twins?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get \u2018im, Little Sister,\u201d Adam said, his eyes glittering with pure malice. \u201cIt\u2019s despicable the way he\u2019s running off and leaving his brother to take his punishment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got THAT right, Oldest Brother,\u201d Stacy agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI also owe that guy big time for these shiners.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy and Adam beat a straight path through the crowd of wedding guests still gathering around Sheriff Coffee and the Hurleys, on an intercept course with the departing Harlan Hurley and Pruella Danvers. Stacy went to great lengths to keep Timmy\u2019s cap gun concealed within the folds of her skirt.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoing somewhere?\u201d Stacy asked, as she and Adam planted themselves right smack in the middle of Harlan and Pruella\u2019s path.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and what business is it of YOURS?\u201d Pruella demanded imperiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be perfectly honest, it\u2019s none of MY business at all,\u201d Stacy readily admitted, \u201cbut, it\u2019s very much SHERIFF COFFEE\u2019S business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Stacy . . . and whoever YOU are, Pruella and I are in bit of a hurry,\u201d Harlan said, making an attempt to be halfway reasonable.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomehow that doesn\u2019t surprise me,\u201d Adam retorted in a wry tone of voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy Cartwright, if you don\u2019t move aside right now, so help me I\u2019ll move you aside,\u201d Pruella angrily threatened.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah? What a coincidence! Adam and I are in a bit of a hurry, too,\u201d Stacy countered, as she whipped Timmy\u2019s cap gun out from under the folds of her skirt and leveled it at the pair standing before her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre y-you crazy?\u201d Harlan gasped, taking an involuntary step backward. He looked up at Adam, who stood behind Stacy, to her right. \u201cHey, Mister, whoever YOU are . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m her oldest brother, Adam,\u201d Ben Cartwright\u2019s firstborn politely introduced himself, \u201cpleased to make your acquaintance.\u201d He favored Harlan with a ferocious, predatory smile and offered his hand.<\/p>\n

Harlan paled and took another involuntary step backward.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright . . . the both of ya . . . start walking . . . over there . . . .\u201d Stacy inclined her head to the spot where the sheriff stood arguing with Jack and Athena Hurley, with the hapless David looking on.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . with your hands up were we can see them,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

Harlan wavered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan, surely you\u2019re not— \u201d Pruella protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella . . . she\u2019s got a GUN,\u201d Harlan gulped, as he fearfully raised his hands high over his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe does, indeed,\u201d Adam said, \u201cnow move.\u201d<\/p>\n

An exasperated sigh exploded from between Pruella\u2019s thinned lips as she raised her hands up over her head, and fell in step beside Harlan. They began making their way across the room toward the sheriff, with Stacy and Adam following close at their heels.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, Adam and I can positively identify the thief,\u201d Stacy announced, as she, Adam, Harlan, and Pruella stepped into the midst of the gathered crowd. She still had Timmy O\u2019Toole\u2019s cap gun trained on Harlan.<\/p>\n

Roy Coffee glanced from the Hurley twins, to their parent, then back again to Adam and Stacy. \u201cMrs. Hurley . . . . ?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jack subjected Harlan to such intense scrutiny, the young man visibly flinched and averted his eyes to the floor. \u201cAdam . . . Stacy . . . you two SURE you can identify the real thief?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re certain, Jack,\u201d Adam said quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, then . . . do whatcha gotta,\u201d Jack grimly assented.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam . . . Stacy . . . surely y-you ain\u2019t— \u201d Roy protested, upon seeing the feral gleam in both their eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Coffee, we can\u2019t let an innocent man go to jail,\u201d Stacy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowever, if you have a better idea as to how we can unmask the thief, I\u2019m all ears,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

Roy sighed. \u201cCan\u2019t say as I do,\u201d he admitted, shaking his head in complete and utter disbelief. \u201cOk . . . go ahead \u2018n do what y\u2019 gotta do. It\u2019s YOUR funeral.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Gentlemen,\u201d Adam began, as he turned and faced the Hurley twins with a withering glare, \u201cand with regard to ONE of you, I use that term very loosely. Now I want you both to turn and face the table behind you. My sister here\u2019s a crack shot with an itchy trigger finger, so I\u2019d advise you not to try anything stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harlan and David exchanged puzzled glances, then warily looked back at Adam and Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard my brother,\u201d Stacy said with a wild predatory grin on her face.<\/p>\n

The Hurley Brothers paled in the face of Stacy\u2019s ferociousness. Keeping their hands high, they immediately turned toward the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Gentlemen, drop your guns,\u201d Adam ordered.<\/p>\n

Harlan and David very slowly unbuckled their gun belts and allowed them to drop to the floor. Their uncle, Apollo, quickly moved in and retrieved the gun belts and weapons from the floor, and turned the weapons over to Sheriff Coffee.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Gentlemen . . . now drop your PANTS,\u201d Adam ordered with relish.<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d Harlan questioned the order insolently.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard the man,\u201d Roy growled. \u201cDo as he says!\u201d<\/p>\n

The twins complied.<\/p>\n

Camilla Taylor, the wife one of Virginia City\u2019s most prominent citizens and pillar of the church, let out an audible moan and fainted right into the arms of Reverend Hildebrandt. Ben rolled his eyes heavenward, beseeching the Lord above for something, he wasn\u2019t quite sure what. Joe and Molly collapsed into the nearest chairs, and dissolved into a fit of the giggles.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere!\u201d Stacy pointed to the man with the heart shaped tattoo in his backside. \u201cThat\u2019s your man, Sheriff Coffee,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cThat\u2019s definitely him! I\u2019d know that tattoo anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pruella\u2019s face first turned bright shade of red, then darkened to an odd shade of purple. She opened her mouth and screamed. \u201cHARLAN HURLEY, HOW . . . HOW COULD YOU!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan Hurley . . . Pruella Danvers, you\u2019re both under arrest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cME?!\u201d Pruella shrieked. \u201cI DIDN\u2019T DO ANYTHING— \u201d<\/p>\n

Ben moved in quickly. Taking his youngest and eldest by the forearms, he adroitly ushered them as far from the maddening crowd, as was possible given the confines of the church basement. \u201cAdam . . . Stacy, was that really necessary?\u201d he growled sotto voce.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, it was the only way we could positively identify the thief,\u201d Stacy said. \u201cWe couldn\u2019t very well let David Hurley do time for a crime he didn\u2019t commit, now, could we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I suppose not,\u201d Ben reluctantly agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and besides that, I owed the guy big time for giving me these shiners,\u201d Adam added with bloodthirsty relish.<\/p>\n

I see,\u201d Ben said stiffly. \u201cStacy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you and Joe told me there were no more surprises.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid this was as much as a surprise for ME as it was for everyone else,\u201d Stacy replied. \u201cI had no idea in the world The Robber Baron of Virginia City was gonna strike here at the reception.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben turned and glared at his oldest son, who was still grinning broadly. \u201cWith half the decent people thoroughly outraged by your method of positively identifying the real thief, and the other half passed out cold from the shock, what are YOU so happy about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam immediately sobered under the raw intensity of his father\u2019s dark, angry glare. \u201cPa, I\u2019ve just taught Harlan Hurley a very valuable lesson. I sincerely hope he takes it to heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh? What lesson is THAT?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPay backs are pure hell!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sighed. \u201cYou\u2019d better let me have that gun,\u201d he turned to Stacy, and held out his hand. \u201cI\u2019m almost afraid to ask this, but who did you borrow it from?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTimmy O\u2019Toole,\u201d Stacy replied. \u201cIt\u2019s a cap gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben looked at the gun closely, as saw at once that it was indeed a toy cap gun. \u201cYou mean . . . you actually buffaloed those two . . . . \u201d He shook his head, and finally laughed. \u201cStacy Rose Cartwright, you never fail to amaze me . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttitude, Mister Cartwright.\u201d It was Molly, with Joe coming up right behind her. \u201cIt\u2019s not how big and how powerful you are, or even what kind of gun you carry. It\u2019s attitude!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and I can certainly vouch for the fact that Stacy here has enough attitude for ten people,\u201d Joe quipped.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella Estelle Danvers, I have NEVER . . . not in the whole of my entire life . . . EVER . . . been so . . . so . . . HUMILIATED!\u201d Myra Danvers followed behind her daughter, castigating the girl severely, as Clem Foster led her and Harlan Hurley toward the basement steps in handcuffs. \u201cHonestly! I don\u2019t know WHICH is the MOST embarrassing . . . whether it be YOU carrying on a . . . a . . . LOVE AFFAIR . . . with a notorious thief, and BRAGGING about it— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMother, in the first place, Harlan and I were NOT . . . I repeat, WERE NOT, carrying on a love affair!\u201d Pruella grimaced, as if she had just tasted something incredibly sour. \u201c . . . and in the SECOND place, I didn\u2019t KNOW he was stealing the money he used to buy me gifts. I honest and truly DIDN\u2019T! So how could I possibly BRAG about such a thing?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOohh . . . don\u2019t you DARE play Little Miss Innocent with ME, Young Lady! I saw you shamelessly flaunting all that expensive jewelry . . . and all those OTHER fine gifts that thieving scoundrel gave you . . . every chance you got!\u201d Myra immediately shot right back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI TOLD you . . . I didn\u2019t know he was stealing money to buy all those things!\u201d Pruella argued.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him having YOUR name tattooed inside a big red heart along with his . . . on . . . on . . . on h-his— \u201d Myra abruptly broke off with an exasperated sigh. \u201cI can\u2019t even bring myself to say it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella . . . I did it for YOU,\u201d Harlan passionately declared. \u201cI did everything for you . . . everything! . . . because I love you! I love you more than I\u2019ve EVER loved anyONE or anyTHING on this earth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou forgot to mention one thing, Young Man!\u201d Myra said, her voice filled with scathing contempt. \u201cThanks to you, MY DAUGHTER has been ARRESTED . . . and . . . and she\u2019s going to be put into jail. Oh the ignominy of it all! What did I EVER do to deserve THIS?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU??!\u201d Pruella shrieked, as she turned for a moment and stared back at her mother in complete and utter disbelief.<\/p>\n

\u201cPruella . . . Darling, please . . . I only wanted you to notice me, \u2018s all . . . . \u201d Harlan blithely rambled on, \u201cand I know how much you like fine things, like . . . like flowers from florist shop . . . fine jewelry . . . sweet perfume, and . . . and . . . other things like that. I thought, if I could buy them and give them to you as gifts . . . . \u201d He sighed dolefully, and shook his head. \u201cOnly problem was . . . I couldn\u2019t even BEGIN to afford ANY of those things, so . . . so THAT\u2019S why I . . . I— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHarlan . . . would you puh-leeeze . . . shut-UP?!\u201d Pruella groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Half way up the basement stairs, Myra froze.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like a word with you . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

She turned and found the Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt standing at the bottom of the stems, with his back poker straight and his arms folded tightly across his chest. His dark eyebrows were drawn together into a single line, and three irregular shaped splotches of bright red stood out in livid contrast against the unusual paleness of his cheeks and forehead. \u201cReverend Hildebrandt, my daughter— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW, Mrs. Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReverend Hildebrandt, my daughter has been arrested!\u201d Myra wailed, shocked and outraged. \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis can\u2019t wait,\u201d Daniel Hildebrandt snapped, glaring metaphorical daggers.<\/p>\n

\u201cOoohhh . . . alright! But make it brief!\u201d Myra ordered in a tone of voice insultingly condescending. \u201cI HAVE to go to my daughter.\u201d She seized hold of the railing, then started back down the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk outside,\u201d Daniel said curtly, as he started up.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Stacy sighed and shook her head, as she watched Clem take Harlan and Pruella away, with Myra Danvers dogging their footsteps. \u201cI never thought I\u2019d hear myself actually say this, but . . . I sure feel sorry for poor Pruella,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat makes TWO of us, Kiddo,\u201d Joe observed. \u201cI mean, here she is . . . FINALLY getting a taste of just desserts for the mean, cruel ways she\u2019s always treated you . . . and a lot of other people . . . and YOU feel sorry for her?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t help being curious about that myself, Young Woman,\u201d Ben had to admit.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get me wrong . . . there IS a part of me that\u2019s feeling, well . . . pretty victorious right now,\u201d Stacy confessed. \u201cOn the OTHER hand, I can\u2019t help BUT feel sorry for someone facing a hard choice between pleading guilty and going to prison or going home with a mother like Mrs. Danvers.\u201d She grimaced.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . see what you mean,\u201d Joe murmured softly, as he watched Myra Danvers\u2019 melodramatic histrionics. Under a set of wholly different circumstances, he would, more than likely, find himself rolling on the floor, laughing himself silly at the woman\u2019s exaggerated, \u2018way over-the-top prostrations.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph Francis Cartwright!\u201d Ben exclaimed upon noticing gooey blobs of cake and icing all over his youngest son\u2019s clothing and in his hair. \u201cJust . . . well, just look at you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uh, Pa? Have you taken a real close look at ADAM lately?\u201d Joe asked, grinning form ear-to-ear with a smug, Cheshire cat kind of grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?!\u201d Ben echoed incredulously.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes . . . ADAM!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben frowned. \u201cSurely you\u2019re not suggesting . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take that as a no,\u201d Joe said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome ON, Joseph! Adam?! Involve himself in a cake fight?? NEVER!\u201d Ben stated emphatically. \u201cOh sure! YOU\u2019D get yourself involved in a cake fight . . . that much is quite obvious! Stacy . . . . \u201d he looked over at his daughter, then at Timmy O\u2019Toole\u2019s cap gun, she still held in hand. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t dare put it past her!\u201d he grumbled. \u201cAs for Hoss . . . the answer is no, because he\u2019d rather EAT the cake! But Adam . . . NEVER!\u201d<\/p>\n

A string of terse, clipped syllables, carrying the distinct singsong character of Chinese assailed their ears. Ben glanced up, and saw his firstborn and Hop Sing making their way across the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Adam suit big mess!\u201d Hop Sing rebuked the eldest of the Cartwright offspring severely. His broken English was liberally interspersed with colorful Chinese invectives. \u201cReal big, big, big, big MESS! Hop Sing never get out cake and icing! Never! Not in ten million, billion, jillion . . . not in many, many years!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I swear . . . it was SELF DEFENSE,\u201d Adam protested. \u201cHonest!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes went round with shock, astonishment, and complete, utter disbelief upon catching sight of his eldest son\u2019s clothing and hair plastered even more generously with cake and icing, than the same of his youngest son. He sighed and shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m beginning to think I can\u2019t take ANY of you children someplace nice,\u201d he lamented.<\/p>\n

Joe and Adam exchanged glances of pure, ornery bedevilment. \u201cWhy not?\u201d the latter said with a shrug. \u201cI don\u2019t see how we can possibly get into any more trouble than we\u2019re in now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded. \u201cI was just thinking the same thing, Oldest Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Ben demanded, not liking the wild gleam he saw in the eyes of his eldest and youngest sons, when they turned to face him.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, Pa, we just want to show you how very much we love you, that\u2019s all . . . . \u201d Joe said with an endearing smile that was at complete odds with the feral gleam in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam agreed, as he and his baby brother converged on their father.<\/p>\n

Ben desperately tried to escape, but all too quickly found himself trapped between the punch table and his sons, Adam and Joe, advancing on him, with open arms. Both simultaneously caught Ben up in a great big bear hug, pressing close, and smearing the thick silver mane of hair generously with pound cake and icing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to say one thing for you guys,\u201d Stacy laughed uproariously. \u201cYou sure look good in what you eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBaby Brother, I am shocked . . . nay! I am APPALLED!\u201d Adam declared. \u201cAbsolutely appalled!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo tell me, Oldest Brother . . . WHY, pray tell, are you absolutely appalled?\u201d Joe asked, as he and Adam released Ben from their \u201cloving\u201d embrace, and turned in unison to face their sister.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I kinda have this sick feeling I already know why?\u201d Stacy murmured softly, as she took a step backward, then another.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019LL bite, Adam,\u201d Joe said, as they slowly, relentlessly advanced toward Stacy. \u201cWhy are you appalled?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere we are . . . showering all this love and affection on Pa, and leaving our poor little sister completely out in the cold,\u201d Adam cheerfully explained. \u201cNow I ask you . . . is it right or fair for us to show Pa how much we love HIM, without showing our little sister how very much we love HER?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s alright, Guys,\u201d Stacy said. \u201cThat\u2019s perfectly alright! You won\u2019t hurt my feelings in the least, believe me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Little Sister, it\u2019s NOT alright,\u201d Joe said. \u201cIs it, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly not!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUhh . . . Pa?\u201d Stacy squeaked, as she turned, hoping against hope that she might appeal to her father.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t look at ME, Young Woman,\u201d Ben quipped with an amused grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright . . . you\u2019re gonna have to CATCH me first,\u201d Stacy grimly vowed. She pivoted, and barely ran a half dozen steps before her foot caught in the hem of her gown bringing her down face first into what remained of the wedding cake.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy?\u201d Joe queried, alarmed.<\/p>\n

Stacy slowly raised herself up on her elbows. Cake and icing covered her face, neck, and clung to the front of her in huge clumps.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou alright, Little Sister?\u201d Adam asked, as he and Joe knelt down on either side of her.<\/p>\n

Stacy wiped the cake and icing from her face as best as she could with hands that were also smeared with cake. \u201cI could use a clean handkerchief,\u201d she said in a wry tone.<\/p>\n

Adam, with a deft flick of the wrist, removed the relatively clean handkerchief from the front pocket of his suit jacket and handed it to his sister.<\/p>\n

Stacy took the handkerchief from Adam and wiped her face. \u201cYou were right about one thing, Joe,\u201d she said smiling. \u201cThis cake IS delicious!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow ain\u2019t the lot o\u2019 you jus\u2019 pitiful!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe, Stacy, and Adam glanced up and saw Hoss towering over them, his arms folded across his chest, shaking his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburned pitiful! The whole lot o\u2019 ya!\u201d Hoss admonished his siblings as they rose to their feet. \u201cAdam, you especially oughtta be ashamed o\u2019 yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?!\u201d Adam growled. \u201cWhy me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018Cause YOU\u2019RE the oldest,\u201d Hoss replied with a scowl. \u201cWhat kind o\u2019 dadblamed example are ya settin\u2019 for the two babies o\u2019 the family by gittin\u2019 yourself involved in a cake fight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Big Brother, who do you think you\u2019re calling babies?\u201d Joe demanded with a scowl as he, Stacy, and Adam rose to their feet and started advancing on their biggest brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m callin\u2019 YOU an\u2019 our BABY sister babies,\u201d Hoss said firmly. \u201cIf \u2018n the pair o\u2019 you\u2019re gonna act like babies, then I\u2019m callin\u2019 a spade a spade.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, there\u2019s only one thing we can say to that,\u201d Adam said contritely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Hoss demanded, eyeing his oldest brother with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re absolutely right,\u201d Adam said, as he and the two youngest Cartwright children edged closer. \u201cI AM setting an atrociously poor example for my impressionable baby brother and baby sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Hoss, like Adam said, you\u2019re absolutely right in pointing out how childish Stacy and I are acting,\u201d Joe continued. His eyes sparkled with mischievous merriment.<\/p>\n

\u201cGetting involved in that cake fight was very childish on our part,\u201d Stacy agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow just one dadburned minute!\u201d Hoss said severely, all the while backing away from his irrepressible siblings. \u201cHow come the lot o\u2019 you are agreein\u2019 with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you\u2019re right, Big Brother,\u201d Stacy said with a feral grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Joe agreed. \u201cWe appreciate you showing us the error of our ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat tells us that you love and care about us very much,\u201d Adam said, \u201cand WE want to show you how very much we love you, too, Big Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The three continued their advance with open arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love the lot o\u2019 you, too,\u201d Hoss said, throwing up his arms defensively in front of him, \u201cbut, I\u2019m beginnin\u2019 t\u2019 think all this doggoned touchy-feely stuff ain\u2019t necessarily a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Hoss, I disagree completely,\u201d Ben said, maneuvering himself behind his second son, effectively blocking off any further retreat. \u201cI happen to be of the opinion that there\u2019s no such thing as too much showing of affection.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss turned, and grimaced upon seeing his father\u2019s white hair liberally laced with chocolate cake and his gray suit covered with cake and white icing.<\/p>\n

\u201cGroup hug,\u201d Joe cried, as he, Adam, and Stacy simultaneously converged on Hoss with open arms.<\/p>\n

Hoss felt his father\u2019s arms reaching from behind to circle his chest, while his brothers and sister enthusiastically embraced him head on.<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it nice to know just how much you\u2019re loved, Big Brother?\u201d Stacy queried, favoring Hoss with a warm smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about the rest of YOU, but it sure gives ME a nice warm feeling inside,\u201d Joe said, giving his biggest brother an extra bear hug for good measure.<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT\u2019S IT! I QUIT!\u201d An outraged Hop sing bellowed at the top of his voice. He glared murderously at each of the Cartwrights, beginning with Ben and ending up with Stacy. \u201cALL THIS LOVE MAKE TOO MUCH LAUNDRY! I QUIT!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Myra Danvers, wordlessly fell in behind Reverend Hildebrandt upon reaching the top of the basement stairs. She dutifully followed him through the church narthex and on out through the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Danvers . . . . \u201d Daniel said through clenched teeth, as he turned to face her, \u201c . . . WHAT in the world were you and your so-called Ladies Guild thinking of?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . . I\u2019m afraid I don\u2019t understand,\u201d Myra replied with a bewildered frown and a helpless shrug. \u201cThinking . . . thinking of WHAT?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst of all, two-thirds . . . TWO-THIRDS, mind you . . . of the wedding guests are . . . are . . . are . . . well, to put it very bluntly . . . they\u2019re falling down drunk,\u201d Daniel began, as the angry red splotches on his cheeks and forehead deepened from a brilliant red to a port wine hue, and began to spread over his entire face.<\/p>\n

\u201cReverend Hildebrandt, THAT is IMPOSSIBLE!\u201d Myra declared, righteously indignant. \u201cWhen Mister and Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan met with me to arrange for their daughter\u2019s wedding and the reception, I made it perfectly clear that the consumption of alcoholic beverages is NOT allowed either within the church or on church property. They assured me that they would abide by that ruling!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh they DID, did they?\u201d Daniel queried. \u201cWell for YOUR information, Mrs. Danvers . . . Mrs. O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s the worst of the lot!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. O\u2019Hanlan is NOT drunk!\u201d Myra hotly denied the allegation. \u201cI was told that the poor woman is suffering from a terrible bout of heatstroke!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe is DRUNK!\u201d Daniel stubbornly maintained. \u201cThen there\u2019s the matter of that wedding cake and . . . and the three indecently exposed la—WOMEN! who seem to have come WITH the cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did NOT order that cake!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf YOU didn\u2019t order the wedding cake, Mrs. Danvers . . . I want to know who DID!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI placed the order for the wedding cake, Reverend Hildebrandt! But I did NOT order that monstrosity downstairs . . . NOR did I order the . . . the . . . thosenakedwomen . . . . \u201d Bright patches of red immediately blossomed on her cheeks, her neck, and her forehead, \u201cthat were baked inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and THAT brings me to the matter of The Robber Baron of Virginia City!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPardon me, Folks, please . . . pardon me.\u201d Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s partner and prot\u00e9g\u00e9 squeezed in between the combatants, lifting his hat and making eye contact with the clergy man first, then the President of the Ladies\u2019 Guild. A man, big and tall enough to dwarf the like of Hoss Cartwright, followed. He had a full head of thick dark brown wavy hair, a full beard, and a single thick, bushy line over top both eyes and his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust one minute, Young Man!\u201d Daniel yelled as he turned with every intention of pursuing the pair. He sprinted ahead of the pair, then turned and planted himself square in the middle of their path. \u201cJust where do the two of you think you\u2019re going?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Barney immediately seized the clergyman\u2019s hand and began to pump it up and down, up and down. \u201cReverend Hildebrandt! So good t\u2019 see ya . . . good to see ya! Long time no see!\u201d The words gushed forth from his mouth and lips like water through a sluice gate, when the dam is opened. \u201cSo good t\u2019 see ya again, Reverend, REAL good seein\u2019 ya . . . real good . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

The exuberant handshake literally rattled Daniel Hildebrandt\u2019s teeth and nearly knocked him right off his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood t\u2019 see ya, \u2018tis real, real good t\u2019 see ya . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve already said so . . . ad nauseaum!\u201d Daniel said, as he snatched his hand from Barney\u2019s firm grip. The momentum sent him careening into Myra Danvers, knocking both of them to the ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Mister Good Reverend Sir,\u201d Barney apologized contritely. \u201cHere, lemme help ya up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep your hands OFF me!\u201d Daniel growled. \u201cI am perfectly capable of helping myself up, thank you so very much.\u201d He rose to his feet slowly, his entire body trembling with rage.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uuhh, R-Reverend Hildebrandt . . . I could use a h-hand up,\u201d Myra murmured extending her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoris help lady,\u201d the big man grunted, his words heavily accented. He leaned over and seized her by the waist. The fingertips and thumbs of his massive, well-muscled hands were almost touching. He lifted her with the ease of a little girl lifting a rag doll and set her carefully on her feet.<\/p>\n

For a moment, Myra remained glued to the spot where Boris had placed her, staring up at the big man\u2019s face through eyes round with shock and astonishment. Her mouth and jaw worked and moved, but no sound came forth.<\/p>\n

Boris immediately turned his attention back to Barney. \u201cBoris see O\u2019Flynn, want vod—\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYessir, right away, Sir!\u201d Barney stammered, effectively cutting Boris off mid-syllable. He took the big man\u2019s arm and started moving once more toward the front door of the church basement.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you hold on right there!\u201d Daniel ordered, as he set off after the pair, moving at a brisk place. \u201cThere happens to be a private party going on in— \u201d<\/p>\n

The clergyman\u2019s words were swallowed up in a startled scream as Boris picked him up by the waist and set him aside. \u201cLittle man too noisy!\u201d he grunted, as he and Barney continued on toward the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cReverend Hildebrandt!\u201d Myra Danvers suddenly, indignantly found her voice once again. \u201cSurely you\u2019re NOT going to allow that MAN to . . . to take that unkempt CREATURE!!!! . . . into the church?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid there\u2019s nothing I can do to stop him!\u201d Daniel replied acerbically. \u201cIn fact, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s much anything that can stop him . . . barring a dynamite blast, a runaway locomotive, or various and sundry other acts of God!\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Mister O\u2019Flynn . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Mick O\u2019Flynn glanced up sharply, and found Hoss Cartwright standing beside him, covered with cake from head to toe. He grinned. \u201cGotta say one thing f\u2019r ya, Lad. Y\u2019 sure look good in whatcha eat!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks!\u201d Hoss retorted wryly, then frowned. \u201cSay, Miss Matilda there\u2019s soundin\u2019 mighty peculiar. She alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Lad. She\u2019s just fine,\u201d Mick replied with a complacent, beatific smile. \u201cShe\u2019s just havin\u2019 to work a mite harder \u2018n usual, that\u2019s all. Y\u2019 see Boris the Russian\u2019s gonna be here for his, um \u2018vodka\u2019 any minute now, and I\u2019m tryin\u2019 m\u2019 best to brew up at least HALF a bucket \u2018fore he gets here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 sure Matilda oughtta be smokin\u2019 like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019ll be fine, Young Fella, just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked down at Matilda doubtfully, then sighed and shook his head. \u201cI\u2019ll take your word for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I need t\u2019 bank t\u2019 fire up just a wee bit more,\u201d Mick said, gazing down into the bucket, positioned directly below the drip pipe, with dismay. It was barely a quarter of the way full. \u201cThere\u2019s about half dozen sticks o\u2019 wood over there behind me. Would y\u2019 mind fetchin\u2019 me a couple, maybe three? I can\u2019t reach \u2018em, an\u2019 I daren\u2019t take m\u2019 eyes off Matilda.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn, I don\u2019t know a dadburn thing about stills,\u201d Hoss said, \u201cbut somethin\u2019s telling me loud n\u2019 clear that stokin\u2019 up that fire under this one ain\u2019t such a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019ll be fine, I tell ya . . . she\u2019ll be just fine as long as I\u2019m right here keepin\u2019 a real close eye on her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 doubts intensified as Matilda\u2019s grunts and chugs began to rise steadily in volume.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, the wood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uuhh, yeah, sure.\u201d Acting against his own better judgment, Hoss stepped over behind Mick O\u2019Flynn and picked up the half dozen sticks of wood. \u201cHere y\u2019 are, Mister O\u2019Flynn. Where do ya want it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here, Lad,\u201d Mick pointed to the floor in front of him. \u201cThat way I can reach without takin\u2019 m\u2019 eyes offa Matilda.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSay . . . . \u201d Hoss\u2019 eyes wandered over to the basement door, where he caught sight of Barney entering with the biggest, the widest, and the furriest mountain he had ever seen walk on two legs, \u201c . . . is THAT fella over there Boris the Russian?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick slowly raised his head, his eyes reluctantly following the line of Hoss\u2019 extended arm and pointing finger. He felt the blood drain from his face, as he nodded mutely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow! You sure weren\u2019t lyin\u2019 when ya said he was a real big fella,\u201d Hoss observed, with a touch of awe. \u201cI\u2019ll bet he\u2019s a whole head taller \u2018n me, if he\u2019s an inch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTWO heads taller, THREE times as round, and about a hundred times meaner!\u201d Mick muttered as he quickly added the pieces of wood, Hoss had just placed at his feet, to the fire steadily burning under Matilda.<\/p>\n

Something . . . Hoss would never quite be able to put his finger on what exactly, but something in the sounds made by water boiling inside, immediately drew his attention away from the fast approaching Boris the Russian. \u201c . . . uuhhh . . . M-Mister O\u2019Flynn!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMake it quick, Lad, I\u2019m real b-busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre . . . are M-Matilda\u2019s sides s\u2019posed t\u2019 be b-bulgin\u2019 like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mick glanced up at the still, and saw, much to his horror, that not only were her sides bulging, but her top as well, and worse, the protuberance continued to expand at an alarming rate, straining at the seams and rivets holding Matilda together. \u201cHoly J-Jesus, M-Mary, and J-J-Joseph,\u201d he whispered, crossing himself rapidly. He rose from the stool slowly, with legs trembling and knees knocking, and took a step backward.<\/p>\n

\u201cM-Mister O\u2019Flynn?\u201d Hoss found himself instinctively backing away as well.<\/p>\n

From somewhere deep inside the intrepid Matilda came a dull, ominous klu-THUNK, then nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cLADIES \u2018N GENTS!\u201d Mick yelled at the top of his lungs. \u201cGET OUTTA HERE! MATILDA\u2019S GONNA BLOW!\u201d Without further eloquence, he turned heel and bolted for the basement steps with surprising speed and agility given his age and his advanced arthritic condition.<\/p>\n

No one else moved. A few stared at the fleeing Mick, bewildered and perplexed. Others shrugged and looked askance at one another, before resuming whatever they had been doing before Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s shouted warning.<\/p>\n

\u201cHEY! YOU FOLKS HEARD THE MAN!\u201d Hoss shouted. \u201cMOVE!!!\u201d He immediately shoved Cassandra Hurley and two of her young friends ahead of him with one hand and seized Clara Mudgely by the wrist with the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?! Hoss, what\u2019s going on?\u201d Apollo asked, peering anxiously into Hoss\u2019 pale face.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still\u2019s gonna blow!\u201d Hoss said tersely.<\/p>\n

\u201cApollo? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d Colleen demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cColleen, grab your ma and get her out of here,\u201d Apollo said tersely, inclining his head toward his new mother-in-law, sitting over against the wall, with her chin nestled upon her ample bosom, snoring very loudly. \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still\u2019s about to blow up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Colleen nodded grimly, then lifted her skirts and ran toward her slumbering mother. En route, she grabbed her father by the arm, and told him. Apollo, meanwhile, ushered the elderly Wren sisters in the direction of the stairs, while Hoss ran to fetch Lotus O\u2019Toole and her young son, Timmy, both in earnest conversation with Sally Tyler and the newly wed Clarissa Wilson.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Apollo, what\u2019s going on?\u201d It was Molly.<\/p>\n

Apollo turned and found his new sister-in-law and Joe Cartwright, staring up at him with bewildered frowns. \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still\u2019s about to blow up,\u201d he said tersely.<\/p>\n

Joe smiled. \u201cAww, come ON, Apollo,\u201d he tittered. \u201cA still? Here?? In the church?!? What kind of joke is THIS?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo joke, Joe. You see that contraption over there?\u201d Apollo pointed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cIt\u2019s a woodstove. So what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat contraption is NOT a woodstove . . . it\u2019s a still masquerading as a wood stove,\u201d Apollo said tersely, \u201c . . . and it\u2019s about to blow itself to smithereens!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe and Molly both watched with rapt, morbid fascination, through eyes round with horror, as the sides and top of the still continued to expand at an alarming rate. Then one of the rivets holding together the side seam, popped, followed by another, and yet another. \u201c . . . uhhh . . . Apollo?!\u201d the former queried nervously, \u201cy-you\u2019re . . . you\u2019re N-NOT joking, are you?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope! You and Molly get yourselves out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about MA?\u201d Molly wailed. \u201cLast I saw she was over there . . . . \u201d she turned and thrust her arm and pointing finger towards the wall on the opposite side of the room \u201c . . . sound asleep. I don\u2019t think she can make it out by herself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about your Ma . . . Colleen\u2019s fetching her. You g\u2019won with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMolly? Apollo?!\u201d It was the former\u2019s older brother, Frankie. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? Why\u2019s everyone all of a sudden running around and screaming?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome along, Frankie.\u201d Molly grabbed him by the lapels and shoved him in between Joe and herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhu-uuuhhh—?! Hey! Quit shovin\u2019!\u201d Frankie protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankie, don\u2019t talk!\u201d Joe sternly admonished the young man. \u201cDon\u2019t ask us a bunch of silly questions . . . just . . . MOVE!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Ben watched, bemused and mystified, as people zigzagged around him and around each other, in their mad, frenzied rush toward the basement steps. \u201cAdam?!\u201d He reached out and snagged hold of his oldest son\u2019s forearm, as he ran past in search of his wife and the rest of his family. \u201cAdam! What in thunderation\u2019s going on around here?!\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss said there\u2019s a still in here somewhere . . . that\u2019s about to explode!\u201d Adam replied<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . a WHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s over there,\u201d Adam said, pointing.<\/p>\n

The puzzled frown on Ben\u2019s face deepened. \u201cThat\u2019s a woodstove!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cIt\u2019s a still!\u201d<\/p>\n

As Ben turned a sharp eye to the alleged still, bewilderment quickly transformed to dread, as he watched five rivets pop, one after the other in rapid succession along the top seam. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to find the rest of the family,\u201d he said, as fear in its turn, gave way to a fierce, grim determination.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw Joe heading toward the basement steps with Molly O\u2019Hanlan,\u201d Adam said, \u201cand Hoss just now ran into the kitchen to warn Mrs. Hansen and a couple of other ladies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwright! Mister Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben and Adam both whirled in their tracks, coming face to face with Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

\u201cStill!\u201d Hop Sing said tersely. \u201cBelong to Mister O\u2019Flynn. About ready to blow sky high! Gotta go outside! Right now!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got to find Teresa,\u201d Adam said grimly.<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Teresa outside,\u201d Hop Sing replied. \u201cMiss Stacy, too. Both tell Hop Sing Mister Cartwright and Mister Adam get five minutes. If not outside five minutes? Mrs. Teresa and Miss Stacy come back in, look for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Candy?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019LL look for Candy, Pa,\u201d Adam said. \u201cYOU, however, had better go on out with Hop Sing, before that sister of mine DOES come running back in here to look for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Candy already outside, too,\u201d Hop Sing said, taking firm hold of Ben\u2019s forearm, then Adam\u2019s wrist. \u201cMister Candy help make line, for passing water buckets. Now you come, too, Mister Adam. Before Mrs. Teresa come in, look for YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Reverend Hildebrandt and Myra Danvers were nearly overwhelmed and trampled under the surge of humanity now pouring out through the front door of the church. Erma Wilson and Florence Hansen, in their flight, bumped Myra, knocking her right off her feet. She fell off the small sheltered porch in front of the door, and landed flat on her back, in the flowerbed below, with arms and legs splayed. Daniel, acting purely on instinct, barely managed to step aside less than a second before Timmy O\u2019Toole barreled out the door, with his mother and Sally Tyler following close at his heels.<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW what?!\u201d Daniel groaned, as if most of the guests getting drunker than a surfeit of skunks DESPITE the church\u2019s ban on spirits of a liquid nature . . . three women jumping out of the wedding cake nearly naked . . . the food fight, using the wedding cake itself as weapon of choice . . . the Robber Baron of Virginia City plying HIS dubious trade, and the means by which Mister Cartwright\u2019s oldest and youngest exposed him . . . weren\u2019t more than enough . . . .<\/p>\n

\u201cSooo-ooo-oooo help me . . . so HELP me . . . I am going to get to the bottom of this . . . this insanity,\u201d the clergyman adamantly vowed, as he abruptly turned heel and resolutely elbowed his way back inside the church.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Upon entering the narthex, Daniel, his face set with angry determination, valiantly fought against the mob of people surging up out of the stairwell towards the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cRev\u2019rend?! Where y\u2019 going?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Daniel glanced up and found Macon Fitzhugh standing before him, his face a sickly ashen gray color, his eyes wide and staring. \u201cI am going to go back down stairs and find out just what the \u2018Sam Hill\u2019 is going on around here,\u201d he replied in a stern tone of voice that brooked no argument.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO! YOU CAN\u2019T!\u201d Macon cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cI CAN and I WILL.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Rev\u2019rend, please . . . you CAN\u2019T go back down there!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and why NOT?\u201d<\/p>\n

Macon\u2019s stance wavered, as other people wormed around him and rushed by. He seized hold of the minister\u2019s arm and clung for dear life. \u201c \u2018Cause . . . \u2018cause she\u2019s a gonna blow!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe?!\u201d Daniel echoed, staring at the church caretaker, as if he had just lost every shred of sanity he had ever possessed.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatilda!\u201d Macon said.<\/p>\n

\u201cM-Matilda??\u201d Daniel echoed with a bewildered frown. \u201cWho\u2019s Matilda?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe ain\u2019t a who . . . she\u2019s a WHAT, Reverend,\u201d Macon replied.<\/p>\n

Daniel exhaled a short, exasperated sigh. \u201cAlright, then . . . WHAT is Matilda?\u201d he rephrased the question through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n

\u201cMatilda\u2019s Mick O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still . . . \u2018n she\u2019s gonna blow any minute!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA still?!\u201d Daniel echoed, as exasperation gave way to incredulity. \u201cA still? Here?? In MY church?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRev\u2019rend . . . we gotta get outta here . . . NOW!\u201d Macon said, as he reached over and wrapped his gnarled fingers around the clergyman\u2019s forearm.<\/p>\n

Daniel easily pulled his arm free from Macon\u2019s grasp. \u201cGet out of my way, Mister Fitzhugh,\u201d he ordered.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019 CAN\u2019T go down there!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Fitzhugh, if you don\u2019t get out of my way, so HELP me, I\u2019ll MOVE you out of my way,\u201d Daniel returned in a tone of voice low and menacing.<\/p>\n

Macon literally threw up his hands, exasperated yet with an air of resignation. \u201cAlright, Rev\u2019rend! It\u2019s YOUR funeral!\u201d<\/p>\n

Daniel gritted his teeth and plunged into the stairwell and the multitude still pouring upward toward the narthex.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Myra Danvers picked herself up out of the flowerbed and followed the good reverend back inside the church. She chose the better part of valor by taking the circuitous route along the wall, rather than directly confronting that mob head on. When she had at last reached the basement door, she paused for a moment to catch her breath.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Daniel tore down the stairs, zigzagging his way in and around the people still filing upstairs. \u201cImpossible!\u201d he muttered under his breath, as he neatly sidestepped to avoid a collision with the Lennox brothers, Martin and Ezekiel, who between them, shouldered the burden of their elderly, infirmed father. \u201cAbsolutely impossible!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Reverend Hildebrandt?!?\u201d Martin ventured.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know!\u201d Daniel snapped. \u201cMister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still is about to explode!\u201d He danced around the portly form of Seth Adams, president of the First Mercantile Bank of Virginia City, then took a flying leap over the last remaining three steps. The instant Daniel felt his feet striking the floor at the bottom of the steps, he plunged headlong into a thick, blinding cloud of black smoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cReverend Hildebrandt?!\u201d a voice spoke out of the darkness. It was Hoss Cartwright.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Cartwr—!\u201d A violent coughing jag abruptly choked off the clergyman\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on! We gotta git outta here . . . right now!\u201d Hoss took hold of Daniel\u2019s forearm, and began to pull him in the direction of the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . still?!\u201d Daniel croaked between bouts of coughing. \u201cWhere\u2019s . . . still?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou referin\u2019 t\u2019 Mister O\u2019Flynn\u2019s still?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStill!\u201d Daniel wheezed. \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s in front o\u2019 the fireplace,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cYou were probably told it was a wood stove.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWuh-Wuh-Wood stove?!\u201d Daniel echoed, shaken and feeling horribly confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cA woodstove?!\u201d A female baritone voice boomed, angry and incredulous, from within the pall of smoke, that continued to ooze up from between the doomed Matilda\u2019s cracking seems.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Daniel both glanced up sharply, and saw Myra Danvers stepping down off the last step, into the basement. The way her mussed hair seemed to be standing out in all directions and the wild, staring look in her eyes put the former in mind of the Greek myths his older brother loved so well. It was the story of a woman by the name of Medusa.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes . . . a woodstove, Mrs. Danvers. Ex . . . Explain THAT one, if y—!\u201d Daniel was overtaken once again by a coughing jag, more violent and intense than the first.<\/p>\n

Myra gasped, and as a result, she was doubled over by an intense round of coughing and hacking, before she could begin to speak, to defend herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Ma\u2019am . . . you, too!\u201d Hoss reached out and grabbed hold of Myra\u2019s wrist.<\/p>\n

At the same time, Daniel gritted his teeth and pushed down against Hoss\u2019 thumb with all his strength, eliciting a loud bellow of astonishment and outrage. He deftly slipped his arm out of Hoss\u2019 grip, pivoted, and fled across the basement toward the fireplace and the still.<\/p>\n

\u201cC-C\u2019mon, Mrs. Danvers,\u201d Hoss wheezed, \u201clet\u2019s get YOU up stairs,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cB-But, Reverend Hildebrandt— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDang fool\u2019s runnin\u2019 over toward the still,\u201d Hoss muttered. \u201cNow you g\u2019won . . . git outta here. I\u2019LL fetch the rev\u2019rend . . . . \u201d He had no sooner shoved Myra Danvers into the stairwell, when poor Matilda finally succumbed to the terrible pressures brought to bear upon her metal plated person. She exploded with a mighty roar, raining sparks, uncooked mash, rivets, and tin body parts over the entire length and breadth of the basement. Hoss darted back into the shelter of the stairwell just in the nick of time. One of the sparks fell into the poteen Mick O\u2019Flynn had already distilled, igniting it.<\/p>\n

A loud, earsplitting bellow arose from the depths of the basement, sounding not unlike a sick bull moose caught in the throes of rutting season. Myra screamed, then tore back up the stairs, half-running, half-falling. Hoss cautiously peered into the basement just in time to see the Reverend Daniel Hildebrandt emerge from the curtain of black smoke, running faster than a rabbit with a bobcat on its tail. He pushed his way past Hoss and Myra, and bolted back up the stairs, with the seat of his pants in flames.<\/p>\n

Hoss emerged from the church basement less than a minute later to the sounds of Reverend Hildebrand screaming and of clanging bell, heralding the approach of the volunteer firefighters. He was relieved to find Hop Sing rolling the clergyman on the ground to smother his flaming britches.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss! Hoss, thank goodness!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss turned and found his father standing at his elbow, smiling with a mixture of gratitude and relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat took ya so long, Boy?\u201d Ben demanded as he led his biggest son away from the burning building.<\/p>\n

\u201cTryin\u2019 t\u2019 git Rev\u2019rend Hildebrandt \u2018n Mrs. Danvers out,\u201d Hoss replied, falling in step along side his father. \u201cSorry, Pa. I didn\u2019t mean t\u2019 worry ya, \u2018specially over the likes o\u2019 them two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Son. You\u2019re much too kind hearted a man to leave ANYONE behind in a burning building, including the likes of Reverend Hildebrandt and Mrs. Danvers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, what about the rest o\u2019 our family?\u201d Hoss queried anxiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone\u2019s safe, Hoss . . . and very worried about YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss!\u201d It was Roy Coffee. \u201cDid everyone git out o\u2019 there alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Danvers, Reverend Hildebrandt, \u2018n I were the last ones up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe volunteers should be arrivin\u2019 any minute now,\u201d Roy said. \u201cI don\u2019t think there\u2019s much chance o\u2019 savin\u2019 the church, but between them \u2018n the water lines we got goin\u2019 now . . . we\u2019ll be able t\u2019 keep anything ELSE around here from goin\u2019 up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT\u2019S a mercy anyway,\u201d Hoss observed, taking comfort in the thought that the folks living close to the church, more than likely, wouldn\u2019t lose their home and everything else they owned to the fire consuming the church. \u201cIs there anything I can do t\u2019 help ya out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can sure use ya on the bucket brigade lines, Hoss,\u201d Roy said gratefully.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded, then ran toward the end of the line inside the church. He paused at the door to grab two buckets of water that had been passed down from the well, then hurried back down the basement steps. Apollo Nikolas and Boris the Russian were already there, pouring bucket after bucket of water onto the flames.<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad t\u2019 see ya, Hoss. Boris and I can sure use your help,\u201d Apollo\u2019s voice was hoarse from the smoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad I c\u2019n help,\u201d Hoss said tersely, while passing the second bucket to Boris.<\/p>\n

\u201cFire! Move there!\u201d Boris pointed flames spreading to the punch table beside the door that lead upstairs to the sanctuary .<\/p>\n

\u201cI got it!\u201d Hoss said as he emptied his bucket dousing the flames that had begun to consume one of Myrna O\u2019Hanlan\u2019s good Irish linen tablecloths.<\/p>\n

The three men worked frantically to keep the flames confined to the corner from which they had erupted when Matilda the still blew up. Despite their best, most valiant efforts, the flames spread to the wooden chairs scattered through out the basement, and leapt up toward the wood ceiling overhead. The smoke, rising from the flames, began to slowly, relentlessly spread across the ceiling, obscuring it from sight.<\/p>\n

Over the growing roar of the fire, Hoss heard the faint, yet unmistakable battle cry of the Virginia City Fire Brigade: \u201cCome on . . . jump her lively, Boys!\u201d echoing down the stairwell.<\/p>\n

\u201cAPOLLO?! APOLLO!!\u201d That was Colleen. \u201cTHE FIREMEN ARE HERE! GET YOUR ARSE UP HERE . . . NOW!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHOSS! YOU, TOO! COME ON!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCOMIN\u2019, PA!\u201d Hoss yelled back. He took Boris the Russian and Apollo Nikolas by the elbows and deftly steered them toward the door leading up and outside.<\/p>\n

Within the next couple of hours, the volunteers from Liberty Hose Company No. 1 had the flames extinguished. The fire had consumed most of the wood tables and chairs in the basement, and a portion of the ceiling, which also formed the floor for the sanctuary above. The basement walls, so recently white washed for the wedding had been darkened to a dull slate gray by the smoke, and the sanctuary above also sustained smoke damage. The fire chief gratefully praised the efforts of the people on the bucket brigade, most notably Hoss Cartwright, Apollo Nikolas, and Boris the Russian.<\/p>\n

Apollo Nikolas, his face blackened by smoke and his clothing wet and covered by soot, collected his new wife, Colleen. Her brilliant red hair hung loosely in wet clumps about her shoulders, and the skirt of her wedding gown was soaked and muddied from the full buckets she had passed during the time she was on the bucket brigade. Matt Wilson, his own hair mussed, his shirt open, missing three buttons and his tie, joined Apollo and Colleen with his new wife, Clarissa, her own appearance in a state similar to Colleen\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright drove a buggy around to the back of the church, with Molly O\u2019Hanlan and Sally Tyler flanking him on both sides. A large sign, with the words \u201cJust Married!!\u201d was attached firmly to the back. Adam jumped down, then turned to help Molly and Sally alight.<\/p>\n

\u201cLadies and Gentlemen, your transportation awaits!\u201d Adam announced with a broad grin. \u201cYou\u2019ll be spending tonight at the International Hotel, on the house! Your breakfast tomorrow morning will also be compliments of the house!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, this is . . . this is v-very generous!\u201d Apollo murmured, completely taken aback. \u201cI don\u2019t quite know what to s-say . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis was none of MY doing, Apollo,\u201d Adam said. \u201cThe hotel management decided that the very least they could do was contribute to the Wedding NIGHT of the Century.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow WONDERFUL!\u201d Clarissa exclaimed, her eyes fixed on Matt.<\/p>\n

Adam helped Clarissa climb into the waiting buggy, while Mister O\u2019Hanlan came to assist his daughter, Colleen. Matt climbed in after his wife. Apollo took his place in the front seat beside Colleen, and took hold of the reins. The newly wed couples were sent off amid the rousing cheers of their guests and the firemen.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Adam, today\u2019s been quite a day!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam turned, and found his wife, Teresa standing at his elbow, with a weary smile on her face. \u201cYes. It certainly has!\u201d he agreed wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cKind of makes last night seem dull by comparison!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI said everything that\u2019s happened TODAY makes last night pale by comparison,\u201d Teresa repeated her words. She slipped her arm through Adam\u2019s as they began to walk.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I suppose a poetry reading WOULD seem dull by comparison.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I have a confession to make . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d All the worry he had felt the day before over the prospect of turning his wife loose on an unsuspecting Virginia City in the company of his youngest siblings returned a hundred fold.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe, ummm . . . didn\u2019t . . . go . . . to a poetry reading last night . . . exactly . . . . \u201d Teresa continued hesitantly, her eyes glued to his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was afraid you were going to eventually say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes!\u201d Adam replied as the icy heaviness he felt in the pit of his stomach began to lessen. A fatalistic calm began to steal over him like a pall. \u201cDuring the reception, I overheard an occasional snippet of conversation here and there about some kind of wild foolishness going on at the Silver Dollar last night, that . . . some how . . . involved Joe and Stacy. I haven\u2019t been able to get any details, however. Teresa . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. \u201cI know I\u2019m going to regret asking this, but . . . WHAT . . . exactly . . . DID you the three of you do last night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBefore I get started, I feel I must warn you . . . it\u2019s a long story,\u201d Teresa said. \u201cA very long . . . very involved . . . and very complicated story!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn THAT case, why don\u2019t you give me the highlights now and give me all the gory minutiae back at the house later on . . . after I\u2019ve had a generous helping or two of Pa\u2019s brandy,\u201d Adam suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe good news is . . . we found the O\u2019Hanlans\u2019 music box,\u201d Teresa began.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat IS good news!\u201d Adam exclaimed with a broad grin. \u201cPa said Molly and Frankie were devastated over the prospect of having lost it. Where was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTHAT . . . brings me to the BAD news,\u201d Teresa replied.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Ben, meanwhile, had wearily set about the task of gathering the rest of his family together. He found Joe in the company of Lotus O\u2019Toole, romping about with her son, Timmy on his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiddy-yap!\u201d Timmy cried out with delight, his dark eyes shining.<\/p>\n

Joe \u2018pawed\u2019 the ground with his left food and responded with an excellent imitation of Cochise\u2019s whinny.<\/p>\n

\u201cFaster, Horse . . . faster!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTimmy?\u201d Ben quietly addressed himself to the little boy riding upon the shoulders of his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Mister Cartwright!\u201d Timmy greeted Ben enthusiastically with a big smile. \u201cI gotta new horse!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I see, Young Man,\u201d Ben said, returning Timmy\u2019s smile with a warm one of his own, \u201cand he\u2019s a very handsome horse, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI found him,\u201d Timmy replied, \u201crunning wild right here in the church yard!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Timmy nodded his head vigorously.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . and you\u2019ve got him saddle broke already?!\u201d Ben exclaimed with comical mock incredulity.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure do!\u201d Timmy replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow! That means you\u2019re a better horseman than my boy, Joseph . . . wherever it is HE\u2019S gotten off to . . . . \u201d Ben made a big show of searching the faces of the wet, bedraggled wedding guests who still remained.<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t seen Joe either,\u201d Timmy said, eagerly playing along, \u201cnot since we all came out of the church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTimmy, I . . . hate to put an end to your fun, but I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s time to take your horse home and stable him for the night,\u201d Ben said, his voice filled with genuine regret.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I come and help stable him?\u201d Timmy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot tonight,\u201d Lotus said as she carefully lifted her son off of Joe\u2019s shoulders. \u201cIt\u2019s almost time for me to get YOU properly stabled for the night, Cowboy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Timmy sighed. \u201cMister Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Timmy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll make sure my horse gets plenty of oats and water?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure will,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

Timmy threw his arms around Ben\u2019s knees and squeezed. \u201cThank you, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmpf! You call that a hug?\u201d Ben queried. \u201cSince I\u2019m going to take care of stabling your horse, Young Man, the very least you can do is reach up here and give me a proper hug . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir!\u201d Timmy immediately responded and reached up his arms.<\/p>\n

Ben gathered the boy up into his strong arms and lifted him up to his own eye level.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Cartwright!\u201d Timmy said, as he threw his arms around Ben\u2019s neck and pressed close. \u201cThank you, thank you, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re very welcome,\u201d Ben replied. He gave Timmy a gentle, affectionate squeeze, then carefully set him back down on terra firma. \u201cLotus . . . . \u201d as he straightened his back, he turned his attention to the boy\u2019s mother, \u201cTimmy\u2019s more than welcome to come out to the Ponderosa anytime to play with his horse . . . and truth to tell, this animal COULD do with a little exercise . . . . \u201d Chuckling softly, Ben reached over and patted Joe\u2019s stomach.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey! Come ON, Pa!\u201d Joe cried out in mock outrage. He yanked his shirttails out from the confines of his pants and belt. \u201cNow, you take a good look! A REAL good look!\u201d he exhorted as he lifted the garment enough to expose his abdomen. \u201cY\u2019 see THAT?! Flatter \u2018n a pancake!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, Grandpa . . . I didn\u2019t know pancakes had love handles.\u201d It was Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, hardy har har, Little Sister,\u201d Joe growled back. The mischief sparkling in his eyes gave lie to the scowl on his face and his harsh tone of voice. \u201cThat was sooo-ooooo-oooo dang funny, I plumb forgot to laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy responded by sticking out her tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see THAT, Pa?!\u201d Joe demanded. \u201cI\u2019m tellin\u2019 ya, this KID has absolutely no respect at all for her elders. You\u2019ve GOT to talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re absolutely right, Son,\u201d Ben replied, with a curt nod of his head. \u201cI\u2019m going to talk to your sister right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYEEE-HA!\u201d Joe whooped. \u201cLittle Sister, YOU are in for it now . . . big time!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy warily turned her attention to Ben, while silently, passionately vowing revenge most horrible against one Joseph Francis Cartwright in the event Pa decided to wind up this chat out in the barn. All thoughts of getting even vanished in an instant upon seeing the impish gleam in her father\u2019s eyes, and the smile he valiantly labored to suppress.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Stacy,\u201d Ben said, allowing the smile to manifest. \u201cWe\u2019ll be heading for home as soon as Hoss and Candy return from the livery stable with our horses and the buggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stacy and Lotus simultaneously burst into peals of uproarious laughter.<\/p>\n

It took every ounce of strength and determination Joe possessed to maintain the straight face and withering glare. \u201cPa, I— \u201d he broke off quickly, as the urge to laugh, growing steadily within by leaps and bounds, nearly overwhelmed his best intentions. He grimaced and bit down on his lower lip in a desperate attempt to stifle the impulse. \u201cPa, I thought you were gonna talk to that kid!\u201d he said very quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just did,\u201d Ben replied, chuckling himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cFunny, Pa . . . fuuuhhhh-nee! NOW I see where YOUR DAUGHTER gets her warped sense of humor,\u201d Joe growled, prompting a fresh peal of laughter from his sister and best friend. \u201c . . . as for YOU, Miss Lotus, you TRAITOR you, O\u2019Toole . . . .\u201d he continued, turning his attention from father to friend, \u201cYOU\u2019RE supposed to be on MY side!\u201d<\/p>\n

Lotus immediately responded by sticking out her tongue, eliciting a cry of surprise and delight from her young son.<\/p>\n

Joe thumbed up his nose, then burst into gale after gale of rapid-fire laughter, drawing them all in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat so funny?!\u201d Hop Sing demanded with a puzzled frown, as he rejoined his family.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know grown-ups could be so silly, Mister Hop Sing,\u201d Timmy remarked in flawless Chinese, as his eyes moved from his mother\u2019s face, to Mister Cartwright\u2019s, then to Mister Joe and Miss Stacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cTimmy, I could tell you stories about silly grown-ups that would curdle your blood and freeze the very morrow in your veins,\u201d Hop Sing replied back in Chinese.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean scary?\u201d Timmy queried, looking up at the Cartwright chief cook, bottle washer, and domestic despot.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Hop Sing replied, smiling. \u201cThat means VERY scary!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh boy!\u201d Timmy cried out, in English this time, his dark eyes shining with anticipation. \u201cWhen are you going to tell me those stories, Mister Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOT tonight,\u201d Lotus said, as her laughter began to subside. \u201cIt\u2019s time for US to head home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlready?\u201d Timmy groaned.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, already!\u201d Lotus said firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cLotus . . . I meant what I said about Timmy being welcome to come out to the Ponderosa any time,\u201d Ben gently reminded her. \u201cThat goes for YOU, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Lotus responded with a warm smile. \u201cPerhaps after Adam and his family have left . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLotus O\u2019Toole, you\u2019ve never stood on ceremony before and I\u2019ll be hanged if I\u2019m gonna let you start now,\u201d Joe said sternly. \u201cMy pa just got through saying that you and Timmy are welcome any time. Period. Adam or NO Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, PAPA!\u201d Lotus quipped with an impish grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know . . . you\u2019re as bad as my sister over there— \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI most certainly am NOT!\u201d Lotus vigorously denied the allegation. She glared murderously at Joe for a moment, then smiled. \u201cI should be WORSE than Stacy! A LOT worse! After all, I have a good ten years on her . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing groaned. \u201cHoly . . . . \u201d A half dozen terse, clipped Chinese syllables followed. \u201cThose two go on and on and on. Take all night, maybe all day tomorrow, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeaking for myself, I\u2019m glad to see there\u2019s some things in this world that don\u2019t change,\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe go home soon?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben nodded. \u201cJust as soon as Hoss and Candy return from the livery stable,\u201d he replied. \u201cThat leaves Adam and Teresa unaccounted for. YOU haven\u2019t seen them by any chance . . . have you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen last time Hop Sing see Mister Adam . . . Mister Adam help new Mrs. Wilson get in buggy,\u201d Hop Sing replied. \u201cMrs. Teresa there, too. Now . . . . \u201d he shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cJAIL!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh. Sound like Mrs. Teresa tell Mister Adam what happen last night,\u201d Hop Sing observed, with an anxious frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cJAIL?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNOW sound like Mrs. Teresa in \u2018way up over head in whatever Little Joe mean when he say heap deep sheep dip,\u201d Hop Sing lamented.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just thinking that it\u2019s a real good thing Teresa decided to tell him in a public place, surrounded by lots and lots of people!\u201d Stacy said, her face mirroring the apprehension and concern in Hop Sing\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cStacy, your fears are completely groundless,\u201d Ben hastened to reassure his daughter. \u201cAdam has a very fine sense of humor . . . something you\u2019ll find out for yourself as you get to know him better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYOU WERE ARRESTED FOR . . . WHAT?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn SECOND thought, maybe we\u2019d ought to get over there!\u201d Ben said, setting off in the direction of Adam\u2019s voice. Joe, Stacy, Hop Sing, and the O\u2019Tooles followed close at his heels.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

Ben found his eldest son and daughter-in-law behind the church, huddled close together, with their backs to him and the rest of the family. Adam stood . . . barely . . . on wobbling legs more unstable than homemade nitroglycerin, being hauled in a rickety buckboard, over a washboard road riddled with deep potholes. Had he not been leaning against the back wall of the church building, he would have more than likely taken a bad fall. He was doubled over, with his arms wrapped tight about his abdomen, and his entire body convulsed with a ferocious intensity, the like of which Ben had never seen. Adam also seemed to be having great difficulty breathing, judging from the hoarse, guttural snorting, that issued from his throat.<\/p>\n

Teresa was bending over him, peering down into his face, with her arm wrapped about his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa? What\u2019s wrong with Adam?\u201d Stacy asked in a frightened whisper, as she, Joe, Hop Sing, and the O\u2019Tooles gathered around the clan patriarch.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister Adam look like . . . like . . . he d-dying!\u201d Hop Sing observed, as he looked on with much fear and trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous, Hop Sing! Adam is NOT dying!\u201d Ben growled, desperately hoping to convince himself as well as Hop Sing.<\/p>\n

For a moment, Hop Sing favored his friend and employer a glare that questioned the nature and existence of the man\u2019s grip on reality. \u201cIf Mister Adam not . . . not . . . you know . . . then what wrong with Mister Adam?!\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t KNOW what\u2019s wrong with Adam, but I DO know that he is NOT dying,\u201d Ben replied. The ferocious scowl on his face and his disparaging tone of voice effectively discouraged any and all discussion to the contrary.<\/p>\n

\u201c . . . uhhh, Pa?\u201d Joe ventured hesitantly. \u201cDon\u2019t ya think . . . m-maybe . . . you, ummm oughtta g-g\u2019won over and . . . find out what, exactly IS wrong with Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is precisely what I intend to do, Young Man,\u201d Ben replied. He turned away from his youngest son, his daughter, Hop Sing, and the O\u2019Tooles; then with back straight and shoulders back, he began walking toward his eldest son and daughter-in-law, anxious yet resolute. \u201cI . . . I honest and truly thought, when the time came, that Adam would take Teresa\u2019s confession of last night\u2019s shenanigans a lot better than he apparently has . . . . \u201d he silently mused, with increasing fear and trepidation.<\/p>\n

\u00a0*********<\/p>\n

The first thing Ben noticed as he stepped in front of Adam and Teresa was that the odd noises issuing from his son\u2019s throat so fast and furious a moment ago, had lessened noticeably in frequency and strength. \u201cIs he . . . is . . . is Adam . . . going to be alright?\u201d the clan patriarch asked, addressing himself to his daughter-in-law.<\/p>\n

Teresa shrugged with helpless resignation. \u201cI . . . I wish I knew,\u201d she murmured softly, her own face pale and voice shaking.<\/p>\n

Upon hearing his father\u2019s voice, Adam lifted his head, and straightened his posture. \u201cT-Teresa?! Pa?\u201d he queried, as his between bouts of uproarious laughter. He paused for a moment to catch his breath. \u201cAre . . . are you two alright?! You l-look like you\u2019ve . . . like you\u2019ve s-s-seen . . . like y-you\u2019ve j-just seen your own ghosts.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a long moment, Ben and Teresa stared down at him, open-mouthed, their eyes round with astonishment. \u201cSp-Speaking for m-myself, I . . . I\u2019m f-fine,\u201d the former stammered, the minute he found his voice. Wave upon wave of deep, profound relief began to wash over him leaving him feeling lightheaded and weak in the knees. \u201cI . . . we . . . T-Teresa and I were . . . we were worried about ya, Boy . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, P-Pa . . . . \u201d Adam wheezed, as he wiped the tears of mirth from his cheeks and eyes against the sleeve of his shirt, \u201cy-you\u2019re not going to believe . . . the . . . the wild tale Teresa just told me . . . . \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOohhh, I don\u2019t know, Adam . . . . \u201d Ben said, favoring his eldest with a tremulous smile. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you try me?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End
\nJanuary 2003
\nRevised December 2007<\/p>\n

Next Story in the Bloodlines Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sacrificial Lamb<\/a>
\nPoltergeist II<\/a>
\nIndependence Day<\/a>
\nVirginia City Detour<\/a>
\nThe Guardian<\/a>
\nYoung Cartwrights in Love<\/a>
\nSan Francisco Revisited<\/a>
\nThere But for the Grace of God<\/a>
\nBetween Life and Death<\/a>
\nOrenna<\/a>
\nClarissa Returns<\/a>
\nTrial by Fire<\/a>
\nMark of Kane<\/a><\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

[i] \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0A paraphrase of the opening line of Bonanza Episode #1, \u201cA Rose For Lotta,\u201d written by David Dortort. In the interest of giving credit where credit is due, that first scene in \u201cA Rose For Lotta,\u201d where Ben and Adam stand together looking out upon a magnificent stretch of landscape was inspiration for this scene, in which Adam takes his wife to that same overlook the first morning of their visit.<\/p>\n

[ii] \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0This scene, in which Joe teaches his sister the art of fencing, also draws its inspiration from \u201cA Rose From Lotta.\u201d<\/p>\n

[iii] \u00a0 \u00a0Hiram Peabody and Sissy Somers Peabody appear in Bonanza Episode #337, \u201cA Lawman\u2019s Lot Is Not A Happy One,\u201d written by Robert Vincent Wright.<\/p>\n

[iv] \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Don Miguel and his daughters appear in Bonanza Episode #185, \u201cA Woman of Fire,\u201d written by Suzanne Clauser.<\/p>\n

[v] \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Phineas Burke ran for the office of Virginia City mayor in Bonanza Episode #309, \u201cThe Last Vote,\u201d written by Robert Vincent Wright.<\/p>\n

[vi] \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Excepted from \u201cThe Form of Solemnization of Matrimony,\u201d found in \u201cThe Book of Common Prayer . . . According to the Use of the United Church of England and Ireland,\u201d dated 1855.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners.\u00a0 The original characters and plot are property of the author.\u00a0\u00a0 The author is not in any way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, and makes no money from this work.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright and his wife, Teresa, come to Virginia City to spend the summer with the family, and so that he might stand up for an old friend as best man in what\u2019s shaping up to be \u201cThe Wedding Of The Century.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Meanwhile, Roy Coffee has his hands full trying to put a couple of bootleggers out of business and stop an elusive thief in his tracks.<\/p>\n

Rating: \u00a0T (103,190 words)<\/p>\n

Bloodlines Series, links to all stories within the series are included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":8062,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,23,4],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-6819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","category-humor","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2553,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Bridal-Bouquet-03-Wildflowers.jpg?fit=376%2C451&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10415,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10415","url_meta":{"origin":6819,"position":0},"title":"Mark of Kane (by pkmoonshine)","author":"pkmoonshine","date":"May 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Following the family's ordeal in Trial by Fire, can they finally bury Adam's experiences at the hands of Kane?\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (109,400 words) Bloodlines Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Alternate Universe"","block_context":{"text":"Alternate Universe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Pine-Trees-Mist-01a.jpg?fit=575%2C970&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Pine-Trees-Mist-01a.jpg?fit=575%2C970&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Pine-Trees-Mist-01a.jpg?fit=575%2C970&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1784,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1784","url_meta":{"origin":6819,"position":1},"title":"The Commitment (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"June 20, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0\u00a0Joe makes a commitment without fully understanding what's involved. \u00a0 Rated: \u00a0T -- WC \u00a01200","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/bonanza.jpg?fit=295%2C295&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6425,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6425","url_meta":{"origin":6819,"position":2},"title":"Poltergeist II (by pkmoonshine)","author":"pkmoonshine","date":"March 20, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Adam\u2019s two children arrive in the company of their maternal grandmother to join their parents for a summer vacation on the Ponderosa.\u00a0\u00a0 Their arrival sets off a chain of inexplicable, frightening events in the Cartwright household. 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