Summary: Ben returns to the Ponderosa after a month long absence in San Francisco. He brings along a long time family friend as a guest in the house. A warm homecoming soon turns into turmoil when Joe finds this guest a threat to his mother\u2019s memory and Adam adds to the issues by choosing to announce his plans for the future at the most inopportune time. It is up to Ben to pick up all the pieces and reassemble his family once more.<\/p>\n
Rating:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0WC \u00a012,000<\/p>\n
Picking up the Pieces<\/strong><\/p>\n Little Joe Cartwright was in his room when he first heard it; the soft sound of horse hooves beating the ground. Normally, he would have paid no mind, but today was different. His Pa was coming home after a month long trip to San Francisco. The seven year old flung open his bedroom door and raced down the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s coming, Hoss. He\u2019s coming!\u201d Joe bellowed out at his brother. He quickly zoomed by him as he headed towards the front door. Hoss laid down his sandwich and immediately followed suit.<\/p>\n Just as the two stepped out into the yard, a buggy drove into sight. It was being driven by their older brother, Adam. Joe and Hoss eagerly ran up to it as it slowed to a stop.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s with the buggy, Adam?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m afraid our father came home with a bit more luggage than we expected. I had to rent a buggy to get it all home.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam then turned and extended his hand out towards the occupants. A moment later a white-gloved hand embraced Adam\u2019s and a tall dark-haired woman stepped down to the ground. She nodded politely in thanks and then turned her hazel eyes towards the two stunned younger Cartwrights.<\/p>\n \u201cMy Ben, you were right about your sons. They are all so very handsome.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss averted his eyes and slightly blushed. Joe just continued to stare.<\/p>\n Ben Cartwright stepped out alongside the woman. \u201cWell, is that any way to greet a father after a long journey,\u201d he eagerly stated.<\/p>\n He then stepped towards both of his sons. Hoss immediately wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug. \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re home, Pa,\u201d He softly said.<\/p>\n \u201cMe, too, son… me too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben then turned towards Joe. \u201cAnd have you been as good as Adam says you were?\u201d He questioned his youngest.<\/p>\n Joe simply nodded and accepted his father\u2019s warm embrace and soft kiss to his forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cBoys, I like you to meet Ms. Mary Sullivan. We grew up together and attended the same school. Mary, this is my son Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss immediately remembered his manners and extended his hand out. \u201cMa\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd this is my youngest, Joseph.\u201d Joe did not say a word. Ben shot him the eye and he slowly raised his hand in greeting.<\/p>\n \u201cNice to meet you both,\u201d Mary replied.<\/p>\n Ben then turned towards Mary. \u201cWell now, you must be tired after such a long journey. Why don\u2019t you go inside with Hoss and he will show you to our guest room. You can rest until dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat would be wonderful, Ben. I am a little tired.\u201d Mary then smiled at Hoss and the two walked towards the ranch house.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll put the buggy alongside the barn, Pa and unhitch the horses,\u201d Adam stated. \u201cYou probably would like to rest a bit as well.\u201d He then led the animals away.<\/p>\n Ben silently observed his youngest for a moment. The boy had not moved from his spot since he had arrived. \u201cJoseph is there something wrong?\u201d he questioned. \u201cYou seem to be a bit quiet today.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph couldn\u2019t even look up at his Pa. Instead, his eyes fell to the dirt near his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa. I guess I\u2019m just tired is all. I didn\u2019t sleep much last night… \u2018cause….\u2019cause… I knew you were coming home.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled and walked over to put his arm around his son. \u201cIt\u2019s good to be home, son.\u201d He then turned Joe towards the ranch house. \u201cYou know, I didn\u2019t sleep much last night either,\u201d he reiterated his son\u2019s statement. \u201cPerhaps we\u2019ll both feel better after we take a little nap.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe managed a simple, \u201cYes, Pa.,\u201d as the two entered the house. He then quickly excused himself and headed directly to his room. He made it only to the top of the stairs before the tears started to fall. He quickly made his way down to his room and closed the door. Throwing himself onto his bed, Joe began to sob. For the past two weeks he had talked about nothing else except his Pa coming home again. He had played the homecoming in his mind over and over. It was far different than what had just transpired. Joe looked up with tear filled eyes at his mother\u2019s picture propped up on his nightstand. He reached out and grabbed it, holding it dear to his heart. Joe\u2019s mother had passed away a little over a year ago and Joe still was feeling the emptiness.<\/p>\n \u201cMama, don\u2019t worry… don\u2019t worry. I\u2019m sure Pa still loves you, too. I love you mama and I miss you. I won\u2019t let anyone ever take your place.\u201d<\/p>\n With these words Joe squeezed the photo tightly and curled up into a little ball. There he remained until he cried himself to sleep.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next thing Joe remembered was his brother Adam talking to him. \u201cJoe, wake up. It\u2019s time for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slowly opened his eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed. \u201cI\u2019m not that hungry, Adam,\u201d he groggily stated as he rubbed his face. Adam walked over and touched his hand to Joe\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not coming down with something, are you?\u201d He asked slightly concerned.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head no. \u201cI\u2019m just\u2026 I\u2019m just tired is all.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled. \u201cAnd whose fault is that? I distinctly remember a certain brother telling me that he was too old to be put to bed so early\u2026 That he wanted to stay up with everyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam poked Joe playfully in the arm, which produced a brief smile. The boy had been so wound up the night prior that it took quite a bit of finagling to get him into his bed.<\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon. Pa\u2019s anxious to talk with us all and get caught up on everything that\u2019s happened while he was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood up and stretched. \u201cYou go ahead. I\u2019ll be right down. I need to \u2026 well, you know.\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes glanced over at the chamber pot as he blushed slightly with the presence of his brother.<\/p>\n Adam simply smirked and then started walking over to the door. \u201cAll right, little brother. Just remember how Pa is about us arriving late to the table\u2026 especially when we have guests.\u201d<\/p>\n He then closed the door and Joe listened until his footsteps quietly faded away. At that moment, Little Joe wanted to crawl right back into bed\u2026 just wrap himself up inside the blankets and pull the covers up over his head. Yet, he knew his brother was right. He was expected at the table, properly dressed and on time.<\/p>\n Joe walked over to the mirror and quickly analyzed his attire. He then ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to give his wavy curls the appearance of being freshly combed. He returned to his bed; flattening the mound of covers at its foot by pulling them taut up to the headboard. Just under his pillow he found his mother\u2019s picture. Only a corner of it was visible, sticking ever so slightly out from the pillow\u2019s edge. Joe heaved a sad sigh as he picked it up, and ever so carefully returned it to his nightstand. He felt tears welling in his eyes, but this time he was determined to not let them fall. He quickly turned and walked out the door with the feeling that his mother\u2019s eyes were following him. She was counting on him to do the right thing. Joe knew at that moment that he had to stop his father from making a mistake…regardless the cost.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stopped at the top of the staircase to look down at his family. It was nice to see his father sitting at the head of the table again. Hoss was in his usual place to his father\u2019s left. Adam had relinquished his seat across from Ben to Ms. Sullivan and had taken Joe\u2019s usual seat to the right of his father. \u201cOh great,\u201d<\/em> Joe thought to himself. \u201cNow I not only have to eat with her I have to sit next to her, too.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Just then Ben noticed his youngest. \u201cJoseph we\u2019ve been waiting, son.\u201d His words were softly spoken, and Joe could tell by the tone that his father was only mildly annoyed with his lateness. He quickly made his way to the table and sat down next to Adam. He chose not to make eye contact with anyone and simply bowed his head; hoping it would encourage his father to begin the evening grace.<\/p>\n Ben stared but a moment at his youngest before lowering his head.<\/p>\n \u201cHeavenly father, we find ourselves once again together as a family. We are grateful for your guidance and your continued watch over us. Thank you for bringing a dear friend back into our lives. We have shared many memories and hope to create many more.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shot a brief glance up at Ms. Sullivan just in time to see her smile after hearing his father\u2019s words.<\/p>\n \u201cGuide us and watch over all in this house. We bless this food we are about to receive… Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n All heads rose in unison. Ben picked up the main course of beef and handed the plate over to Adam. Adam went to pass the food to Joe so that he could offer it to Ms. Sullivan. At the moment of transfer, Joe used his elbow to knock his utensils onto the floor and with an overly polite, \u201cExcuse me,\u201d he dove under the table to retrieve them. Adam reached across Joe\u2019s seat in the process and offered the meat to her.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Adam,\u201d she simply stated, as she placed two pieces of meat on her plate. \u201cMy Ben, this meal is simply amazing. I did not expect such a feast.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I am afraid it is my own selfishness that has produced it. I informed our cook, Hop Sing, that I was tired of hotel food and wanted a decent meal.\u201d<\/p>\n Just then Joe\u2019s head popped back up from under the table. Adam had quickly picked up on Joe\u2019s antics and was waiting for him the second he positioned himself back into his seat.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you hand these potatoes over to Ms. Sullivan, Joe?\u201d He politely asked with a knowing smirk on his face. This riled Joe\u2019s anger. He inadvertently clunked his utensils down on the table and flashed an angry glare at Adam. The noise made his father look up. Joe\u2019s glare instantly dissipated when his eyes met a far more intense scowl coming from the end of the table. He grabbed the potatoes from Adam and set the dish down in front of Ms. Sullivan without saying a word.<\/p>\n Just as soon as that task was complete, Adam had another plate ready for him. \u201cDon\u2019t forget the vegetables, Joe.\u201d This time Joe snatched them quickly out of his brother\u2019s hand and held them out towards her without looking up.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Joseph,\u201d She politely stated.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you perhaps care for some bread as well?\u201d Adam politely spoke up, reaching for the plate sitting between him and his father.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s hand met Adam\u2019s in mid-reach. \u201cI\u2019m sure Ms. Sullivan will tell us if she would like anything else.\u201d The statement was delivered in a tone that met the little game was over. Adam retracted his arm with a polite, \u201cYes, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up from his food. His eyes scanned the table. Joe was pouting, His Pa\u2019s face wore a furrowed brow and Adam\u2019s face represented sheer annoyance of being scolded like a child. Ms. Sullivan seemed slightly uncomfortable sensing the tension that had developed around her. She nibbled at her food politely and remained silent.<\/p>\n \u201cMs. Sullivan, you haven\u2019t told us about how you and Pa met.\u201d Hoss looked over at her and smiled. \u201cI heard Pa say you went to school together. Any good stories to tell?\u201d The thirteen year old stifled a snicker at the sheer possibility of hearing something about his father\u2019s youthful experiences.<\/p>\n Ms. Sullivan looked over at Hoss and smiled broadly. She knew what the boy was trying to do and at that moment learned a lot about his personality. He didn\u2019t like conflict, something she herself always had difficulty handling.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is so nice of you to ask, Hoss. Your father and I grew up together living only a mile or so apart. We attended the same school with a small group of children. My father and mother were dear friends with your grandparents, so Ben and I found ourselves together on many occasions. We attended dances and socials and became good…uh…. FRIENDS.\u201d<\/p>\n She paused to send a smile across the table.<\/p>\n Ben returned the kindness as their eyes reflected back on past memories.<\/p>\n \u201cMary and I thought we\u2019d be FRIENDS for life, but sometimes fate intervenes. Mary\u2019s father was tragically killed one summer and her mother was forced to sell their farm and move back with relatives. We tried to stay in touch over the years, but life sometimes causes people to unintentionally drift apart.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat it does, Ben… That it does. But it also has a way of bringing people together, too. If I hadn\u2019t decided to stop and look at hats that morning, our paths would never have crossed.\u201d<\/p>\n They both laughed aloud which caused three sets of eyes to look up in wonder.<\/p>\n \u201cHow true, Mary… How true. Well, here\u2019s to the new memories.\u201d Ben raised his glass and she mimicked his action; both taking a sip in unison before returning their attention to their meals. Hoss did the same; quite pleased with himself for setting things straight once again.<\/p>\n No one seemed to notice that Joseph and Adam were not equally pleased. Joseph hadn\u2019t even touched a bite of his food as he sat there still pouting. Adam had not said anything but, if the truth were known, he had been just as eager for his father\u2019s return as Joseph. Two months ago, he had decided to send an application into a college in Boston. During his father\u2019s absence, Adam had received confirmation that he had been accepted for the fall term.<\/p>\n The only problem was that he had never spoken a word of this to his father. Well, actually he had tested the waters on many occasions, but Ben always seemed evasive about the issue. To be honest, Adam was receiving mixed messages. On one hand his father would seem supportive; \u201cYou have a right to live your own life, son, not the lives of others.\u201d On the other hand his father would try to discourage his intentions; \u201cI understand that this is important to you, Adam, but it is also important for you not to rush into anything at this time in your life. Why not wait a few years until you have a more clear idea of the direction you wish to take.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam, at first, heeded his warning, especially after the death of Marie. He knew his father needed him on the ranch not only for his physical presence, but for emotional support as well. As time passed, Adam felt trapped. He loved his home and his family, but his desire for higher learning outweighed the love and comfort of the Ponderosa. When his father announced he would be leaving for a month long trip to San Francisco, Adam was angry. He secretly filled out the application that had been in his dresser drawer for months and sent it off in the mail without a word.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s mind had drifted away from the table. He was instantly brought back to the present at the sound of his father\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, do we need to step outside and have a discussion about table etiquette?\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph looked up stunned at the sound of his father\u2019s voice. He had been so deep in thought that he did not realize he was kicking the leg of the table rhythmically. He instinctively responded with a<\/p>\n \u201cNo, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Then bowed his head and immediately began eating what was on his plate.<\/p>\n This time it was Adam who chose to be the mediator. \u201cSo, Pa. I\u2019m glad you had a wonderful time in San Francisco. Perhaps you would like to hear what has transpired around the ranch while you were away?\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes softened as he turned them towards his eldest.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy, yes Adam. What have you three been up to since I\u2019ve been gone?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI got a B on my last three math tests, Pa.\u201d Hoss spoke out proudly. Then I got three C\u2019s on my spelling. His lip proceeded to construe up into a pout. Ben reached over and tousled the boy\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s better than three C\u2019s and two D\u2019s from last time, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Hoss simply nodded. \u201cWell then that tells me you\u2019ve been working hard at improving. That\u2019s all a father can ask, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n The boy smiled, and adding a simple \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben then turned his attention to Joe. \u201cHow about you son? How well have you been doing in school?\u201d Joseph shrugged his shoulders and answered softly, \u201cOkay, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam piped up in his defense. \u201cJust okay, Joe? I wouldn\u2019t say getting an A on your history report something to shrug about.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe just ignored his brother\u2019s praise. \u201cMy son, that certainly is an improvement. I\u2019m very proud of both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ms. Sullivan decided to join in on the conversation. \u201cWhat was your report about, Joseph?\u201d Joseph almost cringed at her words. Now he would have to speak to her. \u201cGeorge Washington.\u201d There he said it short and sweet.<\/p>\n \u201cWell now, I do believe it is my turn, Pa.\u201d Adam tried to sound as upbeat as possible. \u201cDo you remember us discussing the possibility of me attending college?\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes opened wide at his son\u2019s words. There was no way he could have anticipated this statement coming.<\/p>\n Adam nervously tugged at his ear before continuing. \u201cWell, a couple of months ago I sent off an application to the college in Boston and I received word that I have been accepted for the fall term.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a long moment of silence.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t tell you about it, Pa because I wanted it to be a surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, you surprised me, young man.\u201d Ben was quick to spit the words out. Adam could tell his father was fighting back an internal explosion.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face reddened as his body tensed. Try as he might, no words would come out. His lips opened and closed as if they were trying to speak, but not one sound made its way up his throat and out his mouth.<\/p>\n At that moment, Adam finished putting the dagger into Ben\u2019s heart. \u201cI\u2019ve already written back and accepted.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you just write back and un-accept, young man, until we have had a chance to discuss this further.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s anger rose at these words. \u201cDiscuss it? It\u2019s my life Pa… not yours… and I intend to do what I see fit with it.\u201d Adam rose from the table and stormed out the front door.<\/p>\n Again a long moment of silence followed.<\/p>\n Joe looked over at Hoss. The two brothers were stunned by what had just transpired. They had just lost their mother less than a year ago and now their brother was leaving them, too.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want him to leave, Pa,\u201d Joe began to cry. \u201cI don\u2019t want him to leave.\u201d Hoss\u2019s eyes began to fill with tears as well.<\/p>\n Ms. Sullivan instinctively reached over to put her arm on Joe\u2019s shoulder. This gave the seven year old all he needed to vent his frustrations.<\/p>\n \u201cNo! Don\u2019t touch me. You\u2019re not my mother and you never will be. Just go away. Leave. Leave us all alone. We don\u2019t want you. We don\u2019t need you. Please, just go away.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph sprung from the table and bounded up the stairs. Hoss instinctively followed leaving two rather stunned adults at the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Time stood still for what seemed like forever. It was Mary who first broke the silence.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you all right, Ben?\u201d she apprehensively asked.<\/p>\n Ben placed his elbows on the table and cupped his hands behind his head. There was a heavy intake of breath and then a dejected voice softly whispered, \u201cI apologize for my actions, Mary… as well as the unacceptable rudeness of my sons. I can guarantee you will receive a full and sincere apology from them both come morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAn apology is not necessary, Ben. I should have realized that your sons would be eager to see you after being gone so long and postponed my visit a month.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary could tell that her words had fallen on deaf ears. Ben was brewing… brewing over Adam\u2019s words more so than Joe\u2019s. Suddenly Ben whacked the table with his fist causing Mary to jump slightly. \u201cHow can you reason with such a stubborn headed fool,\u201d he muttered under his breath.<\/p>\n \u201cTo be honest with you, Ben, I often uttered the same phrase about a sandy-haired young boy that used to come courting.\u201d Mary smiled, attempting to lighten the situation, but to no avail.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it must be hard, Ben, to see your son as a man, but he is no longer a child. He wants to see the world and experience new things. He wants a life of his own….\u201d<\/p>\n Ben instantly became defensive. He shot a piercing glare at Mary. \u201cI\u2019m not trying to stop him from living his own life.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary raised one eyebrow in question while keeping her eyes locked on Ben. It didn\u2019t take long for Ben to realize he was venting his anger at the wrong person. He lowered his head once more and softly stated, \u201cI\u2019m just trying to stop him from making some of the same mistakes I made.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary smiled as she arose from her chair and walked over to Ben. She remained silent as she placed her hands upon his tense shoulders and began rubbing them tenderly. Several long moments passed in silence before Ben heard her soothing voice once more. \u201cI bet if you thought about it, Ben. There wouldn\u2019t be one mistake you made in your life that deep down you really didn\u2019t regret making. Is it not true that with each mistake made a little wisdom is learned?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben arose from the table and strolled across the room, stopping to pour himself a glass of brandy. He sipped it slowly as he pondered Mary\u2019s words. After a long moment, he spoke once more. \u201cHis head is full of wild dreams. Dreams that in a few years time could be refined and more thought out.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat down in a nearby chair, resting his elbows on his knees. Mary could tell the words just spoken were only presented to mask his true concerns.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes began to water as he sat there reflecting. \u201cI just don\u2019t understand him, Mary. Adam acts like this ranch is the worst place on earth. Yet, out of all my sons I thought he\u2019d be the one that held it most dear.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary fought back the tears welling in her eyes as she felt the hurt pouring out of Ben\u2019s heart. Then a thought came to mind.<\/p>\n \u201cBen. Has Adam ever said to you that he never plans to return here some day?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, but…\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTell me what he has said,\u201d Mary was quick to interrupt.<\/p>\n \u201cJust that he wants to leave the Ponderosa and go away to college in Boston. He really hasn\u2019t given me a real reason. He only mentioned it a few times, asking for my approval and I kept telling him that he should wait.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary walked over to him once more; sitting herself down on the arm of the chair and gently placing an arm around his shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you ever thought that maybe…just maybe Adam isn\u2019t doing this all for himself?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked up at her with a furrowed brow that indicated he needed more clarity. Mary arose and made her way to the fireplace. Gazing into the dying fire, she suddenly became hesitant. \u201cPerhaps it isn\u2019t my place to interfere, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben arose from the chair and placed his arms on Mary\u2019s shoulders. \u201cHe softly egged her to continue. \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, perhaps Adam feels by bettering himself he can then in turn better the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a long moment of silence as Ben digested Mary\u2019s words. Could Adam be that astute?<\/p>\n \u201cI know I don\u2019t know Adam, Ben, but I do know his father quite well. Something inside tells me that he still has dreams for the Ponderosa. You yourself told me that he has worked side by side with you from the ground up. He knows what you have sacrificed and what this place means to his family.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave her shoulders a squeeze as a silent thank you. \u201cI shall talk with him in the morning…And now, on to the next issue at hand.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes followed the staircase upward.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease wait here, Mary. I am sure my son will have something to say to you very shortly.\u201d Ben turned to head upstairs.<\/p>\n Mary called after him. \u201cPlease don\u2019t be too harsh on him. He\u2019s had a rather difficult day, wouldn\u2019t you say?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThere is one thing I am adamant about in this household. My sons have been taught the importance of treating adults with respect. I\u2019m afraid Joseph has been disrespectful and will have to face the consequences of such behavior… unless he can prove his actions were warranted.\u201d Ben then turned and made his way up the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss sat down next to his little brother who was lying face down on his bed. He could hear his sobs being muffled beneath the pillow. He gently reached out and placed his hand upon his shoulder as a means of support. It was the only support he could give at that moment for he was hurting inside, too. A few moments passed. Then without warning, Joe turned his head and looked up at his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy? Hoss. Why?\u201d Joe uttered. Hoss hung his head and averted his eyes almost feeling guilty for not knowing the immediate answer to the question.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Joe. But I do know Adam will explain it to us\u2026 in time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe doesn\u2019t care about us, Hoss. He just cares about himself.\u201d Joe\u2019s statement clearly expressed the anger and hurt he was feeling.<\/p>\n Hoss had seen his little brother react in the same way about other things before. He was always quick to anger and quick to judge.<\/p>\n \u201cNow Joe, you know that\u2019s not true. I admit he didn\u2019t go about discussing it with us, but I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll set things right once he has had time to think about it. And you know Pa will talk with him, too. It\u2019s not like he\u2019s leaving tomorrow, you know\u2026 if at all.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew that Hoss was always so hopeful and positive about things. In most cases his words were comforting; but at this moment in time, Joe just couldn\u2019t see the positive in Adam leaving. He raised himself up and positioned himself into a sitting position next to his brother. \u201cI don\u2019t want him to leave, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss placed his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulders. \u201cMe neither, Joe\u2026 me neither.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe hung his head and fiddled with his fingers. Hoss could tell that his little brother had something else on his mind.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat else is troubling you, Joe?\u201d he softly asked. Joe\u2019s body instantly tensed upon hearing those words.<\/p>\n Just then Ben Cartwright reached the half-opened door to his son\u2019s room. He could hear Hoss speaking.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, come on. Tell me what else is bugging you. You know Pa will be up here any moment to find out the same thing\u2026 and I can guarantee you he ain\u2019t going be too happy about what just happened downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe quickly arose from the bed and walked over to his mother\u2019s picture. He grabbed it and angrily held it out for his brother to see.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s forgotten her, Hoss. He doesn\u2019t love her anymore. It\u2019s like she doesn\u2019t exist. He never talks about her. He never takes me to her grave\u2026 and then he brings someone else home\u2026\u201d Joe was letting all the anger, fear, and frustration out.<\/p>\n \u201cI hate him, Hoss. I hate him…Mama hates him, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Without warning, Joe flung his mother\u2019s picture suddenly to the floor with a loud crash. He instantly realized his error and flung himself to the floor amongst the broken glass. Hoss instinctively knelt down next to his brother who was trying frantically to pick up the broken shards with his bare hands.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, mama. I\u2019m sorry, mama. I\u2019m sorry, mama\u2026\u201d Joe kept repeating.<\/p>\n Suddenly, Hoss felt someone grip his shoulders. He turned his head to see his father squatting down behind him. Ben silently motioned Hoss towards the door. Hoss quickly arose and departed, leaving father and son alone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben Cartwright wasted no time in taking control of the situation. He picked up his distraught son and in one fell swoop placed him upon his bed.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me go… Let me go!\u201d Joe wailed as he tried to kick and squirm free from his father\u2019s strong hold. \u201cLet… Me… Go!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cENOUGH!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice boomed, but Joe paid him no mind. Ben shook his son\u2019s shoulders slightly. \u201cJoeseph. THAT is enough.\u201d<\/p>\n The firmness of his father\u2019s actions forced him to make eye contact. Ben stared down at his son trying to read his thoughts hidden behind a strong flowing stream of tears. After a moment, Joe closed his eyes tightly, as if to block his father\u2019s entry, and began to sob uncontrollably. Ben felt his son\u2019s resistance instantly melt like butter. He gathered the boy up and held him tightly to his chest. There the two remained huddled together, each gathering their thoughts.<\/p>\n Ben waited until Joe\u2019s cries became soft whimpers before he slowly released his hold and assisted his head back onto the pillow. Joe simply turned his head towards the wall clearly avoiding all eye contact with his father. It was then that Ben noticed his son\u2019s hands. Both were bleeding slightly from his run in with the broken glass.<\/p>\n \u201cIt looks like you may have cut yourself Joseph,\u201d He said softly. Ben then arose from the bed and went over to the dresser. He picked up a wash towel and poured a small amount of water from the picture into the washbowl. He carefully submerged the towel and rung out the excessive water before returning to his son\u2019s bedside.<\/p>\n \u201cNow let me see you hands, Joseph.\u201d Joe remained still, ignoring his father\u2019s request. Ben heaved a huge sigh, trying to keep his anger and frustration from getting the better of him. He reached over and grabbed one of Joe\u2019s hands, turning the palm upward. It had a few punctures and one slight cut on the pinkie. He placed the cool rag on the hand and began cleaning the wounds. Joe winced slightly from the pain, but his head remained towards the wall.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, son. Hate is too great a burden to bear all on your own.\u201d Ben\u2019s words were delivered solemnly for it had pained him greatly to hear his youngest son use it in regards to him. Ben then turned his attention to the other hand. This one had just one deep cut in the soft flesh of the palm. He held the damp cloth tightly to it to help control the bleeding.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, we have a lot to talk about, you and I.\u201d Ben paused trying to find the right words to say. \u201cHatred usually stems from two things: fear and hurt. I should have realized the timing of my trip was a poor one, but you should have also come to me with your fears. You must realize that your mother\u2019s death did not just affect you. We all loved her, Joseph in different ways. We all had to deal with her death in different ways, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe remained still, but tears began to well in his eyes once more. \u201cI loved your mother, Joseph just like I loved Elizabeth and Inger. I have not forgotten any of them, nor will I ever. Each holds a special place in my heart. I see them inside each of you every day. I feel their presence around us.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph folded his arms around his middle as his face construed up into a pout. Ben could tell that his words were not being accepted. The boy needed proof. Ben arose and placed the reddened cloth back into the washbasin. He turned towards his son with a huge sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I can see your father\u2019s words are not enough, so I will just have to prove it to you then. Come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe just repositioned his arms around his middle in a tighter fashion, but remained on his bed.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s anger was rising and he was losing patience with Joe\u2019s deliberate defiance.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I want you to come with me now. I will not ask again. It would be in your bottoms best interest to comply and not test my patience any longer.\u201d<\/p>\n With these words, Joseph begrudgingly arose from the bed. He kept his head down and his arms crossed against his chest. Ben opened the door and waited for him to walk through.<\/p>\n \u201cDownstairs, Joseph.\u201d Joe shot an angry glare up at his father before walking slowly towards the staircase. It was all Ben could do to keep his anger in control. Just as they passed Hoss\u2019s room the door opened slightly. Hoss\u2019s head peeked out from the darkness.<\/p>\n \u201cIs everything okay, Pa,\u201d he asked worriedly. \u201cYes, son. Joseph and I need to be alone for a while. Will you please ask Hop Sing to fix Ms. Sullivan some tea and take care of any of her needs while we are gone?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss simply answered, \u201cYes, Pa.\u201d He then followed the two downstairs. Mary had been sitting in the chair by the fireplace reading. She looked up and watched the two silent figures make their way to the door. Hoss waited until the door closed before turning his attention back to their guest.<\/p>\n \u201cMs. Sullivan, Pa asked me to have Hop Sing make you some tea.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary could see the look of worry written all over his face. \u201cDid they say where they were going, Hoss?\u201d Hoss just shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I would very much enjoy a cup of tea and some company while we wait for their return.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes Ma\u2019am,\u201d Hoss politely responded. \u201cI\u2019ll get it for you right away.\u201d He then turned and disappeared into the kitchen.<\/p>\n Joe watched out of the corner of his eye as his father saddled his horse and gathered a lantern. Ben lifted the boy up on the saddle without saying a word. His eyes quickly surveyed the stalls. Adam\u2019s horse was missing which told Ben his oldest son had probably gone into town. He walked his horse outside and quickly mounted. The two set off into the moonlit night.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam Cartwright sat at the lake\u2019s edge deep in thought. He had been reviewing the scenario over and over in his mind for what seemed like hours. When he stormed out of the house, he was filled with anger and frustration. He quickly saddled his horse and headed off in no particular direction. At that moment he just wanted to keep going and never look back. There was just one thing that soon stopped him, however, and that was guilt.<\/p>\n It didn\u2019t take him long to realize that he had perhaps been unfair by not choosing a more appropriate time to discuss this with his father and family; especially with a guest at the table. He soon slowed his horse to a casual walk and turned back towards the lake, taking a seat along the bank. There he sat, throwing rocks into the water and thinking about his future. Maybe he should follow his father\u2019s advice and wait a few years. Maybe he should ignore his father and take advantage of the opportunity handed him. It was a tough decision for a nineteen year old to make all on his own. But the decision had been made by him and he felt in his heart it was time to leave the Ponderosa. He just had to convince his father that it was the right decision to make.<\/p>\n Adam arose and stretched. Then he walked over to his horse speaking to it as he gave it a friendly pat.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, buddy. Do you think Pa\u2019s cooled off enough that we can head on back? I bet you\u2019d like some fresh hay and a warm barn over meadow grass and open sky tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised himself up into the saddle. He looked up into the night sky and said a silent prayer. He then kicked his horse and headed back to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mary sat dozing with an open book by the fire. Her host had fallen asleep on the sofa across from her. She awoke at the sound of the door opening. Adam walked hesitantly towards her.<\/p>\n Mary could tell he was looking for his father. \u201cHe\u2019s with Joseph. The two of them left about an hour ago.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at her with a puzzled look. \u201cWhere were they going?\u201d He questioned, with a look of concern emanating from his face.<\/p>\n Mary bit her lip in hesitation. She already felt she had been far too outspoken. Yet, Adam deserved to know what had happened.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid Joseph was upset by your words, Adam.\u201d She sheepishly answered.<\/p>\n Adam hung his head slightly. There was a long moment of silence.<\/p>\n He then looked directly at Mary. \u201cMs. Sullivan, I\u2019m afraid I owe you an apology for my actions this evening. It was not the right time or place for such a discussion. My father has taught me better manners than I have displayed and I am truly ashamed for my behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam then extended his hand out towards her. Mary smiled and accepted his apology silently. She then glanced over at Hoss sleeping on the sofa.<\/p>\n \u201cYour brother has been quite the gentleman in your absence. He served tea and cookies and chattered about anything that came to mind.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Mary shared a small laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, at least one of us has demonstrated proper behavior this evening. Please excuse me for a moment as I assist this \u2018gentleman\u2019 to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned and walked over to Hoss who was sleeping soundly on his stomach. He had somehow developed his own routine over the years for arousing his brothers from a sound sleep.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s hand suddenly raised and came down hard on his brother\u2019s bottom.<\/p>\n \u201cSmack!\u201d<\/p>\n The boy instantly shot up, grabbing at his backside. \u201cAdam! Why\u2019d ya go and do that for?\u201d Hoss shouted out with fire in his eyes.<\/p>\n Mary raised her hand to her mouth trying to stifle a laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re gonna pay for that, Adam…\u201d Hoss began to reach for his older brother but Adam was quick to speak \u201cHoss, have you forgotten about our guest?\u201d He said in as pleasant of a voice as possible.<\/p>\n \u201cGuest?\u201d Hoss asked. Then his eyes fell on Ms. Sullivan sitting in the chair.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, our Guest. I\u2019m sorry, ma\u2019am. I must have fallen asleep. Can I get you more tea or cookies?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Mary both snickered at his words. \u201cNo, Hoss. I thank you, but I\u2019ve had my fill. I think it\u2019s time that I headed off to bed. It has been a rather long day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, ma\u2019am,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cHe then shot Adam a dirty look before turning his attention back to Ms. Sullivan. \u201cI\u2019ll escort you to your room.\u201d He extended his arm out and Mary accepted.<\/p>\n Hoss looked disgustingly over at his brother. \u201cI\u2019m sure Adam will clean up the tray and wash any of the remaining dishes.\u201d<\/p>\n The two walked over towards the stairs. \u201cOh Hoss, you are such a gentleman,\u201d Mary stated as they started to ascend. She looked over her shoulder towards Adam and shot him a wink. \u201cGoodnight, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, Ms. Sullivan,\u201d He simply replied. He then turned his attention to the assigned task at hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben Cartwright turned off the main road and headed up a narrow path. Father and son had not spoken a word to each other since they had left the ranch. The night was dark and Joe sat upright in the saddle attempting to get his bearings. It didn\u2019t take long for him to realize where they were going. This path was not unfamiliar to him. It had been etched forever in his memory a little over a year ago.<\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes tightly for a moment. He suddenly found himself reliving the long walk he took upon this very path. He could sense the horse\u2019s direction and knew of the exact location. The pain he felt in his heart was once again as real as it was that summer\u2019s day.<\/p>\n Joe began to recall his emotions as he followed solemnly behind his mother\u2019s casket; his father and older brother holding firmly to each hand. He once again envisioned all the people who stood, heads hung in prayer, as they passed. He remembered his mother\u2019s casket being lowered into the ground and the moment of sheer fear as the first shovel of dirt fell upon it. Joe shuddered at hearing his own words once again in his mind. \u201cCome back, mama, please don\u2019t leave us. Please don\u2019t leave us…come back.\u201d Ben Cartwright quickly dismounted and helped his son to the ground. He carefully lit the lantern and grabbed Joe\u2019s hand, sensing the boy\u2019s fear. The two walked up to the grave side by side. Joe looked down to see a fresh bouquet of flowers nestled at its base along with a few remnants of similar bouquets from days passed. He wondered for a moment who had brought them. Ben Cartwright waited patiently to allow his son to digest his surroundings. When he did finally speak, his voice was not the stern confident fatherly voice his son was use to hearing. It was at a much higher pitch and very weak and shaky.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I have not forgotten your mother. The flowers you see are from the visits I have taken here on many occasions. The latest bouquet you see came just this morning when I asked Adam to stop on our way back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph looked up stunned at his father\u2019s words. He could not believe that he would bring that woman up here to his mother\u2019s grave. Ben sensed the boy\u2019s unspoken thoughts. He set the lantern down and released Joseph\u2019s hand. Then he bent down to upturn a large rock, resting next to the grave. Joe was surprised to see a considerable stack of writing paper hidden neatly underneath. Ben grabbed the stack and replaced the rock. He then led his son over towards a nearby tree motioning him to sit down. Joe complied and Ben positioned himself on the ground right next to him.<\/p>\n \u201cThese are letters that I have written to your mother every time I\u2019ve come to visit her. I sit under this tree and reflect on the good times and all the memories we\u2019ve had together.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph apprehensively eyed the letters in his father\u2019s hand, but again said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cI would like to share some of these letters with you. Perhaps this will help you understand what I am trying to say better than my own words.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben did not wait for a response from Joe. He looked down and picked out one of the older letters, opening it very gingerly as it was already becoming worn.<\/p>\n \u201cMy beloved Marie, Yours Truly, Joseph looked up at his father in surprise and shame. For the first time he could see the sadness in his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cPa…\u201d Joe meekly stated. \u201cI\u2019m… I\u2019m…\u201d Joe could not finish before burying his head into his father\u2019s side. Ben instinctively wrapped his arm around the boy tightly as he fought back his own tears. He could hear his son\u2019s muted words. \u201cI miss her so much…. I just miss her so much.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave his a boy a reassuring pat. \u201cWe all do, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben then picked out a second letter. Joe realized it was the newest one written earlier that day. He watched his father unfold it just as carefully as he did the first.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie my love,<\/em><\/p>\n I am so happy to be home again. I apologize for my long absence, but please note that I carry you in my heart wherever I roam. I met an old friend in San Francisco, Mary Sullivan. I must confess she was my first love at the tender age of ten. She knows more about my childhood and mischievous ways than anyone I\u2019m afraid. I must admit that I am slightly concerned what stories our boys will be able to weasel out of her while she is here. In fact, I somehow feel that you had something to do with fate bringing us together. It seems far too uncommon for two people dealing with the loss of their spouse to stumble upon one another in a women\u2019s hat store one morning. Yours Truly,<\/em><\/p>\n Ben\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Ben looked down at his son and could tell the anger inside him had dissipated. He was nestled inside the crook of his father\u2019s strong arm contemplating his thoughts. There was a sense of peace in his expression.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe softly spoke. \u201cCan I write letters to Ma, too?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cAnytime you would like, son…anytime at all. In fact, if you would like, we could write one together right now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph instantly rose up and vigorously began shaking his head yes. Ben once again smiled down at him before grabbing a blank piece of paper from the pile. He handed Joe the writing paper and pencil. Then the two sat for over a half hour composing their joint correspondence. By the time it was finished, Joe was yawning quite profusely. They returned all the letters into their secret hiding spot and Ben helped his son up onto the horse. The two headed back to the Ponderosa using only the moonlight to help lead them home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time the two reached home, the house was quiet. Ben noticed Adam\u2019s horse in the barn as he was leading his own horse into the stall next to it. This brought much relief to a weary father. At least he would not have to worry of his son\u2019s location tonight.<\/p>\n Ben pulled Joe down from the saddle and carried him into the house. The boy was fast asleep. He didn\u2019t wake as his father removed only his shoes and tucked him into bed. Ben then leaned down and gave the boy a kiss on the forehead before walking down the hallway to his own room. It was early morning before his eyes finally closed for some much needed rest.<\/p>\n A few hours later, Ben awoke and readied himself for the day. He walked down to Joe\u2019s room expecting to find the boy still asleep. He had unfinished business to discuss with him regarding his behavior at the dinner table. Instead, he found the room empty. Ben gave a puzzled look as he closed the door and headed down the hallway. As he approached the stairs he could hear muffled talking. He peeked around the corner to find Mary sitting on the sofa and Joe facing her with his back to him. His head was hung and his voice soft. Ben had to strain to hear what the boy was saying.<\/p>\n \u201cAh… Ms. Sullivan…. I want to apologize to you…for yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary smiled at Joe. \u201cApologize, for what, Joseph? I\u2019m sure you weren\u2019t expecting anyone to come home with your father. If anyone should apologize, it should be me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit his lip for he knew that she had done nothing wrong. He also knew his father would not accept that as the way it should be. He nervously rocked on his feet for a moment and then tried once more to make things right.<\/p>\n \u201cNo …I was wrong to yell like that. Pa never let\u2019s us speak like that to any guests in this house. No matter what the reason. I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll be punished for being rude, but I wanted to apologize myself and not have my father tell me to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary held her hand out and Joseph shyly took hold of it. \u201cApology accepted, Joseph. Your father will be proud that you did this on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe released her hand and solemnly added, \u201cBut I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll be proud enough to not help me remember not to do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary snickered as her eyes fell on Ben making his way down the staircase.<\/p>\n Ben winked at her as he approached. \u201cGood morning, Joseph… Mary.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bowed his head and offered a soft, \u201cMorning, Pa.\u201d Mary simply nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph has made a full apology to me, Ben,\u201d she added. \u201cYou certainly have raised your sons right when it comes to the proper use of manners.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben only smirked at her exaggerated complacency before turning his attention back to his awaiting son. \u201cOh no!\u201d Joseph thought. He knew that when his father prefaced a sentence with \u2018but\u2019 it usually lead to only one outcome.<\/p>\n Ben paused to clear his throat.<\/p>\n \u201cBut… all actions have consequences. You do know you must be punished for your inexcusable behavior, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph solemnly nodded as he fought back the tears starting to well in his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cBen, I really don\u2019t think that…\u201d Mary\u2019s words were cut off by Ben\u2019s commanding voice.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, you will spend the entire day with Ms. Sullivan and your brother, Hoss. It is up to you to demonstrate that you know how to treat her in the proper manner. You can show her around the Ponderosa and introduce her to the ranch hands. Perhaps Ms. Sullivan would like to go into town or view the lake. Whatever her needs or wishes, you are responsible for making sure they are met. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph did not know at first what to do or say. It was the first time in his life that he had ever received this sort of punishment from his father.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, Is that understood?\u201d This time Joe answered immediately with a \u201cYes, sir.\u201d Ben nodded and then added, \u201cWell, then. Shall we make our way to the table for some breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n Suddenly Joseph realized the humor in the situation. \u201cPa,\u201d he turned towards his father to make full eye contact. \u201cIf Ms. Sullivan wants to visit the candy store or go swimming or even explore the woods looking for antlers, I HAVE to do it?\u201d He playfully questioned.<\/p>\n Ben crossed his arms and looked wisely down at his youngest son. Mary stifled a laugh at the boy\u2019s cleverness. After a moment he chuckled before stating, \u201cIf it is Ms. Sullivan\u2019s wish then you must do as she requests. No questions asked. Just remember it is customary for the gentleman to buy the sweets for the sweet and not the other way around.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached over and tousled his boy\u2019s hair as the room filled with much needed laughter. He then playfully turned his son towards the direction of the table, giving him a light swat to get him headed in that direction. The three sat down at the table just as Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen with the first plate of food.<\/p>\n \u201cGood morning, Ms. Sullivan. I will get tea,\u201d he said with the polite grin on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cOh no, Hop Sing. No TEA … please no more TEA.\u201d Mary realized her abruptness and quickly counteracted. \u201cI\u2019m afraid I drank at least 10 cups of it last night while waiting for your return, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed.<\/p>\n She then turned her attention to Hop Sing. \u201cHow about a nice glass of juice, Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing bowed politely and headed back into the kitchen all the while muttering to himself, \u201cI make tea… no one wants tea. I don\u2019t make tea everyone wants tea. Hop Sing not appreciated.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh dear, Ben. I hope I did not offend him,\u201d Mary said in alarm.<\/p>\n Ben laughed once more and assured her that his cook would be back shortly with her juice and all would be forgotten.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t long before Hoss bounded down the stairs to join them. \u201cMorning, Pa… Morning, Joe.\u201d He excitedly stated. He immediately took his seat and began to spread his napkin out onto his lap.<\/p>\n Then he realized that he had forgotten someone else at the table. \u201cGood morning, Ms. Sullivan. I hope you slept well.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at Mary and smiled. He then immediately reached over to grab the stack of pancakes sitting before him. Mary watched as the boy piled not one, not two, but six pancakes onto his plate, being careful to leave one behind in case others wanted seconds. Then she carefully added, while trying to hide her amusement, \u201cMy, you must be famished this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n By the time she finished her statement the boy had already piled butter and syrup on top of the stack and was three bites into his feast. He swallowed what was in his mouth and then replied. \u201cWell, ma\u2019am, I\u2019m not too good with big words, but if you\u2019re askin\u2019 if I\u2019m hungry, then you guessed right.\u201d This brought a wave of laughter and produced the right mood for Adam to make his entrance.<\/p>\n All eyes followed him to the table as he quietly took his seat and greeted everyone with a simple, \u201cGood morning.\u201d The lightheartedness, however, immediately dissipated as the room filled with an awkward quietness.<\/p>\n Adam made sure to keep his eyes from falling upon his father\u2019s. He grabbed for the last pancake and placed in on his plate. \u201cI hope you will again forgive me for my actions yesterday, Ms. Sullivan.\u201d<\/p>\n This was Adam\u2019s way of letting his father know he had already apologized to their guest. Mary realized right away the point of Adam\u2019s comment. \u201cAdam, as I said to you last night, all is forgiven.\u201d<\/p>\n She then looked over at Ben with a pleading smile. He opened his mouth to make comment and then decided to bring the coffee cup up to his lips instead. He needed a few more moments to think before speaking.<\/p>\n After a few minutes, Ben took the situation in hand. \u201cAdam, I have asked Joe and Hoss to show Ms. Sullivan around the Ponderosa today. I would like you to stay home and help me with the books this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam almost smirked at this comment because he knew the books were down twice a month on set days. The next scheduled day was over 5 days away. It angered him to see his father once again avoiding the issue by being evasive.<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father rather brazen. \u201cIs it already time for them again, Pa? It seems like we were just doing them a few days ago.<\/p>\n Ben shot his son a cold stare as he tried to fight back the building anger inside. \u201cAll right, Adam. Since you seem to insist on being blatantly honest around our guest I shall do the same. You and I need to talk son. Period. Like it or not, we need to talk. I would prefer to do it alone, but if you would much rather have an audience to feed off of…\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was quick to cut his father\u2019s words off. He knew he was walking a thin line and he didn\u2019t want to have it end the same way it did the night before. \u201cI think it would be better to discuss it alone, sir.\u201d He bowed his head and returned to his meal.<\/p>\n Ben eyed his son for a long moment and then put an end to the conversation \u201cVery well, then. Shall we finish our breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n All returned to their meals. Ben managed to take another swig of his coffee before losing himself deep in thought. Mary looked up and noticed Ben was not eating. She gently reached over and laid her hand on Ben\u2019s forearm giving it a slight squeeze. Her touch awakened him. He glanced over at her and tried to smile. She could see the sadness building in his eyes and feel the apprehension exuding forth from them.<\/p>\n She quickly glanced over at the other end of the table and found the mood there similar. Suddenly she remembered something her father used to tell her and her sister when they were arguing. Mary set her cup down and cleared her throat.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph and Hoss, I do believe it is time for you to escort me around on this fine day. Would you two mind getting the buggy ready while I gather a few belongings to take with me?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was quick to catch on and jumped to his feet. \u201cCertainly, Ms. Sullivan.\u201d He then turned towards Joe. \u201cC\u2019mon Joe, we need to ready the horses.\u201d Joe started to complain, \u201cI\u2019m not done with my… OW!\u201d His words were cut off by his brother Adam\u2019s swift kick into his shin.<\/p>\n Hoss followed up with a more firm command. \u201cI said, C\u2019mon Joe… now.\u201d Hoss turned and headed for the door with Joe limping out behind him.<\/p>\n Mary then arose from the table. \u201cBen…Adam. I have just one thing to say and then I will make my own meddling self scarce for the day. Remember that when two people have a discussion they are exchanging knowledge. When two people have an argument they are exchanging ignorance. I wish you a successful discussion today gentlemen.\u201d She then headed for the door, grabbing her coat off the hook as she exited.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The two figures at the table sat quietly for a few moments before Ben suddenly arose and motioned Adam over to the seating area in front of the fireplace. Adam complied by sitting himself down in one of the chairs. He rested his forearms on his knees and clasped his hands together. Ben leaned against the fireplace mantel, folding his arms across his chest. Both pondered in silence, trying to figure out how to start their conversation. It was Adam who first spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I do owe you an apology. I should not have been so outspoken at the table.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cYes, I would say your timing was not in the least bit thought out. Then again, when someone has such news to share it is easy to forget ones manners.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben suddenly moved to a nearby chair across from Adam. He sat down, crossing his legs and folding his arms on his lap. He studied his son reflectively, inwardly reminding himself that across from him was a young man, not a boy.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam. I\u2019ve had some time to think on this issue. I would like to share with you a story from my past.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father and smirked. He knew how Ben\u2019s stories influenced his thinking. All through his life he had listened to them time and time again. They always had a moral or a lesson behind them related to the present issue at hand. In all cases, his father would provide good sound advice through his story telling, but not this time. Adam was determined to stand his ground and not budge from his current position.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll listen, but it will not change my plans.\u201d He coldly stated.<\/p>\n Ben felt his anger rising. He was trying to meet the boy half way and Adam was already trying to slam the door closed. \u201cThen what? What is the purpose? Why don\u2019t you just say it.\u201d Adam spit the words out towards his father. \u201cYou don\u2019t want to see me leave. You want me here on the Ponderosa forever to help with whatever you deem necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face turned red as he pierced his lips together in frustration. \u201cWell as long as we\u2019re at it, then. Why don\u2019t you spend time analyzing yourself, Adam? Then you\u2019d discover the real problem… your own apprehension and guilt. You keep saying you want to leave and I certainly don\u2019t see anyone standing in the way of that door.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam arose from the chair and headed that direction. Ben, realizing his anger got the best of him, quickly cut off his path. Adam tried to step around but Ben grabbed firmly hold of his forearm.<\/p>\n The two locked eyes.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice was low and shaky. \u201cAdam, we are not accomplishing anything this way.\u201d<\/p>\n He then let go of his son\u2019s arm and turned away. Ben stoically stood there with his eyes focused on the wall. \u201cThat door has always been open for you to come and go as you please. It is open for you right now and it will always remain open thereafter…regardless of any choices you choose to make in life. That door will never close.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben then turned back towards his son with sadness in his eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but I would much rather see you leave graciously with a proper goodbye than to watch you storm out that door like a warrior just to convince yourself that your way was right. We are both not being truly honest with one another, Adam. I would like to tell you my reasons for my actions and then I would like to hear yours. The choice is up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben then returned to his initial chair and waited. After a long moment, Adam turned around and took his seat once more. Ben exhaled a sigh of relief and started his story.<\/p>\n \u201cThe reason I have not told you much about your grandfather, my father, is that our relationship was one of much discord. He was a kind man in many ways, but also a very stern disciplinarian. By the time I was 16 years old, I wanted to break away from his control. I was tired of being told when to get up and when to eat. I was tired of the same old daily routine. I had read in books about sailors and the sea and found it fascinating. I built my dreams around one day being captain of my own ship and sailing freely around the world.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben paused to reflect.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, one day I just left. I walked right out the door and made my way down to the docks. An old man saw a young foolish kid and took advantage of the situation. He used me as a slave. I cooked, cleaned and did all the most disgusting jobs. They fed me on the bare minimum and locked me below when other boats came near. This was my life for over a year.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had been listening intently. \u201cHow did you get away?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I have your grandfather Stoddard to thank for that. His ship stumbled upon our boat one day and he actually made trade for me. I believe it was a crate a whiskey and a box of cigars.\u201d Ben laughed at the thought.<\/p>\n \u201cI figured I was moving to a different ship and my horrible life would just continue in new surroundings. Your grandfather instead took me under his wing and taught me everything there was to know about the sea. He taught me self worth and the importance of pride and good judgment. I learned from my mistakes and became a better man for it, but I have always regretted one thing, Adam. I should have waited until I was truly ready for those challenges.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hung his head and Ben could tell his son did not know what to say.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you see I\u2019m not trying to stop you, Adam. What I\u2019m trying to do is make you think before you act. If it is truly your dream and what you want out of life, then you can count on my blessings and support. To be honest, that is why I feel your battle is not with me, but with your own apprehension…and guilt.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had been silent for quite some time. His mind was racing with all that had been told.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess it\u2019s my turn now,\u201d he softly said. Then he took a long pause before continuing. \u201cI am scared, Pa. I admit it. I don\u2019t mean to sound like this place is the worse place on earth. This is my home and it will always be home. I just need a change. I want to explore and see what\u2019s past those fence posts. I want to study about far away lands and science. I want to live my dreams and then…\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stopped mid sentence. He rose from his chair and walked over to the large map by his father\u2019s desk. He stood staring at it without saying a word. His father quietly approached from behind and placed his arm around his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s leave it at that for now, Adam. Shall we?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced over at his father with understanding.<\/p>\n Ben gave Adam a sturdy pat on the back. \u201cI will write to your grandfather Stoddard immediately and tell him of the good news. I\u2019m sure he will be more than happy to provide a roof over your head… that is if you so please. Once Ms. Sullivan has left, we\u2019ll sit down as a family and break the news to your brothers. It won\u2019t be easy, but we\u2019ve survived far worse things in our lives, haven\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam felt a sense of relief come over him as he softly stated, \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d.<\/p>\n Ben simply smiled at his son. \u201cNo. Thank you, Adam. I want you to know that I am very proud to call you my son.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Adam were having an afternoon snack at the table when Ms. Sullivan and the boys returned home. They came bursting into the house laughing heartedly. \u201cAnd then\u2026 and then your father turned around to find old Mr. Bumble standing behind him.\u201d This brought another wave of laughter from all three of them.<\/p>\n \u201cSo what happened next?\u201d Hoss eagerly asked. \u201cWell\u2026 Let\u2019s just say that your father was whisked out the schoolhouse door by his ear and returned a few moments later in a much more humbled frame of mind.\u201d Mary glanced over at the table still snickering.<\/p>\n \u201cGood afternoon, gentlemen,\u201d she said in greeting. \u201cI hope your day was as enjoyable as ours.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben arose and walked over to help Mary take off her coat. \u201cWhat\u2019s this about old Mr. Bumble?\u201d he questioned giving her the knowing eye. \u201cYou\u2019re not filling these boy\u2019s heads with tall tales are you, Ms. Sullivan?\u201d Ben paused to hang her coat on the hook by the door. He turned towards her and waggled his finger as a playful warning. \u201cJust remember I have some tall tales of my own madam.\u201d The two smiled.<\/p>\n Suddenly, Little Joe walked over to his father with a very serious look on his face. \u201cPa, I need to tell you about something.\u201d He then motioned for his father to lean down to his level. Joe cupped his hand up to his father\u2019s ear and whispered to him softly. Ben listened intently. When the boy was done he repositioned himself into an upright position, folding his arms and looking ominously down on his young son. \u201cOh, I see. What do you think we should do about this, Joseph?\u201d The room became suddenly still as everyone wondered what had happened. Adam shot Hoss a questioning look and he just shrugged his shoulders without a clue.<\/p>\n Joe hung his head and reached into his pocket, producing a full bag of mixed candies. He held it out to his father in shame. \u201cI already ate four pieces.\u201d He stated. Ben gingerly took the bag from his son\u2019s hand and raised his other hand to his chin in thought.<\/p>\n Mary suddenly realized what had happened. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to get the boys in trouble. They were such gracious hosts that I merely wanted to thank them.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss suddenly hung his head, too. \u201cI can\u2019t give mine back, Pa. I already ate all of it on the way home.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smirked. \u201cIt\u2019s not the question of the candy, Ms. Sullivan. It\u2019s the question of who bought it that\u2019s bothering Joseph. You see around this household we take a punishment quite seriously and Joseph feels he didn\u2019t live up to his end of the bargain.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben winked at Mary to let her know it wasn\u2019t as serious as he was making it out to be.<\/p>\n \u201cBut then again, I forgot to give you any money to treat Ms. Sullivan, Joseph. And\u2026 considering that was my error, not yours I don\u2019t see any harm in you accepting Ms. Sullivan\u2019s kindness. This time.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father with a smile of relief, but Ben was quick to continue.<\/p>\n \u201cThat is, of course, if you will allow your father the opportunity to partake in her kindness as well?\u201d Joe simply nodded.<\/p>\n Ben then reached into Joseph\u2019s bag and popped four pieces of candy all at once into his mouth. This made his cheeks puff out on both sides and Ben deliberately forced them out more for overemphasis. The room erupted into laughter.<\/p>\n At that moment, there was a sense of peace and joy in the house once again. This was something that had been missing in all their lives for quite some time.<\/p>\n But, as with anything that perseveres: \u201cWhen the world says, \u2018Give up,\u2019 Hope whispers, \u2018Try it one more time.\u2019\u201d To the Cartwrights, Ms. Mary Sullivan was that hope.<\/p>\n *** Quote is by unknown author.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nBen lifted the now blood-stained cloth off his son\u2019s palm. The bleeding had subsided.<\/p>\n
\nIt was hot that day, but tonight Joe shivered from the cool night breeze. The air was still, and as the horse made a final turn and stepped up into a small clearing, Joe felt his heart begin to race. Why would his father bring him to his mother\u2019s grave in the dark of the night?<\/p>\n
\nFirst, Joe witnessed the silhouette of the tombstone. A large wooden cross bearing her full name. Below her dates were carved the words: \u201cLoving wife and mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nToday was our son\u2019s 7th birthday. You would be amazed at how much he\u2019s grown the past few months. Adam bought him a new book and Hoss made him a toy wagon to haul things around the ranch. Hop Sing created the most amazing chocolate cake with coconut sprinkled icing. Yes, I know Joe hates coconut, but he knew it was your favorite and insisted upon having it. You should have seen him trying to pick every bit of that coconut out of his mouth… one strand at a time. The whole time masking his displeasure through the biggest, broadest smile he could muster. It was so good to see him smile again, Marie. It was the same smile that often fell upon your face. A smile we all miss so dearly. Take care, my love.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nBen\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\nBut as you always use to say to me, \u2018c\u2019est la vie, my love, c\u2019est la vie.\u2019
\nMary plans to stay with us a few months before heading back to live in the east with her daughter. Until then, I will enjoy her company and companionship and not dwell as to what happens next.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThat was very commendable of you, Joseph. I\u2019m glad to see you took responsibility for your own actions… But…\u201d<\/p>\n
\nMary exchanged glances with Ben and then responded to Hoss\u2019s greeting. \u201cGood morning to you, too, Hoss,\u201d She stated.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019m not trying to change your thinking, young man…\u201d Ben started<\/p>\n