{"id":7161,"date":"2014-05-11T16:21:41","date_gmt":"2014-05-11T20:21:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7161"},"modified":"2026-07-22T12:37:08","modified_gmt":"2026-07-22T16:37:08","slug":"dah-gay-a-fable-told-by-hop-sing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7161","title":{"rendered":"Dah-Gey: A Fable Told by Hop Sing (by JoaniePaiute)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/span>An extremely silly response to a Chaps & Spurs challenge. Also partly inspired by the thread “Feminizing the Cartwrights.” Little-Little Joe is driving Adam crazy. Hop Sing has the solution: it’s story time!<\/span><\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0K \u00a0WC \u00a01400<\/span><\/p>\n

Dah-Gey<\/strong><\/div>\n
A Fable Told by Hop Sing<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
By JoaniePaiute<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cPa? Are we there yet?\u201d Joe asked…again.\u00a0<\/strong>Adam sighed.\u00a0I wonder if I was so fidgety as a four-year-old,<\/i>\u00a0he thought. Somehow, he didn\u2019t think so.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the third time you\u2019ve asked,\u201d he told his little brother.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t talking to you,\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cPa?\u201d<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cNo, Joseph, we\u2019re not there yet,\u201d Pa said sternly, but his eyes were amused as he glanced over his shoulder at the boys and Hop Sing in the back of the wagon. Marie, sitting beside Pa, turned to smile at them.\u00a0She\u2019s excited,<\/i>\u00a0Adam realized, and he grinned back at her. Her eyes, almost exactly the same color as her green bonnet, danced like a girl\u2019s.\u201cBe patient,\u00a0mon chere,<\/i>\u201d she told Joe. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you play Twenty Questions with your brothers?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe poked out his bottom lip. \u201cDon\u2019t like Twenty Questions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss nudged Joe. \u201cHow about I Spy?\u201d he suggested. Joe shook his head. \u201cRumors?\u201d Again the dark curls shook in an emphatic \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam broke in. \u201cYou tell us, then. What\u00a0do<\/i>\u00a0you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Instantly, Joe answered, \u201cI want to get to Virginia City.\u00a0Now.<\/i>\u201d He stood up, teetering as the wagon hit a bump, and Hop Sing reached out to steady him. \u201cI wanna hear the fiddle playing,\u201d he added, reluctantly allowing Sing to draw him onto his lap.<\/p>\n

Hoss tried to placate him. \u201cWe all want to get there, Joe. I gotta sign Lucille up for that frog-jumping contest.\u201d He eyed the small wooden box between his feet and poked a finger into one of the holes he\u2019d drilled in the top. \u201cI sure hope she\u2019s got enough air in there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked accusingly at Adam and demanded, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to get there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure I do,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI want to see the Independence Day decorations. The entire main street will be lined with red, white, and blue.\u201d That wasn\u2019t\u00a0all<\/i>\u00a0he wanted, of course. Like Joe, he was looking forward to the music at the dance that would be held in the meeting house that night. And before that, there would be the pot luck supper (Hoss must really be excited about the frog-jumping contest, not to have mentioned\u00a0that<\/i>). And there were some friends he was eager to see…one in particular, perhaps…<\/p>\n

Marie interrupted Adam\u2019s thoughts of a certain young lady. \u201cI am most excited about the fireworks,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded enthusiastically. \u201cYes, yes,\u201d he agreed. \u201cRed and yellow, velly pretty.\u201d He poked Joe in the ribs, and the little boy twitched and giggled. \u201cAnd noisy,\u201d Sing added. \u201cMaybe you should not go. Too scary for litta boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho, me?\u201d Joe yelled indignantly, twisting out of Hop Sing\u2019s grasp and turning to face him.\u00a0He\u2019s louder than any firecracker,<\/i>\u00a0Adam thought, and Joe proved him right by shouting, \u201cI ain\u2019t scared of nothing!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u00a0not<\/i>\u00a0afraid of\u00a0anything,<\/i>\u201d Marie corrected him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee?\u201d Joe said triumphantly. \u201cMama ain\u2019t afraid of nothing neither!\u201d Hoss and Adam laughed, and Joe, sensing he\u2019d misspoken, glared at them before climbing back onto Hop Sing\u2019s lap. \u201cTell me a story, Hop Sing,\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

Sing\u2019s brow furrowed for a moment as he considered. Then he smiled. \u201cI tell you good story,\u201d he said, and Adam leaned forward.\u00a0Hop Sing\u2019s stories are always good,<\/i>\u00a0he thought. Apparently he wasn\u2019t the only one who believed that; Hoss turned toward Sing as well, and even Marie and Pa leaned back slightly, undoubtedly so they wouldn\u2019t miss a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne a-punce a time,\u201d Sing began, as Adam suppressed a smile (not daring to look at Hoss, for fear they\u2019d both burst out laughing), \u201cthere was boy with dark cully hair and eyes color of jade.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe wiggled. \u201cMe!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sing shrugged. \u201cIf you say.\u201d He continued, \u201cBoy have flog…\u201d Frowning, he paused and corrected himself, \u201cBoy have frog name Guang.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that mean?\u201d Hoss asked, glancing down at the box holding Lucille.<\/p>\n

\u201cLight,\u201d Adam supplied, proud that he\u2019d remembered one of the words Sing had taught him. He wondered if Hop Sing knew that \u201cLucille\u201d also meant \u201clight.\u201d\u00a0Probably,<\/i>\u00a0he decided.<\/p>\n

Sing smiled at him. \u201cGood. So\u2026Guang not common frog. He smart as snake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSnakes aren\u2019t smart!\u201d Joe burst out.<\/p>\n

\u201cMes cheris,<\/i>\u00a0no more interruptions,\u201d Marie said, twisting around to fix all three of them with a look nearly as stern as one of Pa\u2019s. Joe\u2019s lower lip went out again, but only for a moment.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing drew a deep breath and addressed Joe. \u201cIn China snakes smart. Not here, maybe.” He continued. \u201cSo\u2026Guang smart. Boy teach him talk. Then Guang tell boy, \u2018I not eat bugs any more. You give me li\u2014rice<\/i>\u00a0and eggs and chestnuts. Season with onion, gah-lic, ginger. I eat like boy eat. Yum!\u2019 So boy give Guang rice and eggs and chestnuts, season as he say. And Guang say again, \u2018Yum!\u2019 and eat it all.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen Guang say, \u2018I want feast like boy on festival day. Want chicken feet. Want squid. Want pickled duck tongue. Yum!\u201d All three boys laughed, and Adam saw Pa\u2019s and Marie\u2019s shoulders shaking. \u201cOh,\u201d Hop Sing said soberly, \u201cthese things special dishes, how you say\u2026derica\u2014delica\u2014\u201d He looked questioningly at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cDelicacies?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Guang say he want these\u00a0de-ri-cacies.<\/i>\u00a0So boy give him chicken feet and squid and duck tongue. And Guang say again\u2026\u201d He paused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYum!\u201d all three boys chorused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen Guang say, \u2018I want chah-coal, saltpetah, pound to fine powder. Mix with sul-fah, pack in bamboo shoots.\u2019 Boy say, \u2018No! I not give you such to eat. These things kill you dead.\u2019 Guang say, \u2018You give me these to eat, or I tell Chan Chu, One-Eyed Toad God, to give no more wealth to your house. You will die a poor man.\u2019 So boy do as Guang say, give him chah-coal and saltpetah and sul-fah in bamboo shoots. Guang eat them, say again\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYum!\u201d the boys shouted, and Adam was sure he heard Pa\u2019s voice in the mix as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen Guang, he bling forth big\u00a0dah-gey<\/i>\u2014\u201d And Hop Sing swallowed air and emitted an enormous belch. Hoss and Joe shrieked with laughter. Alarmed, Adam looked toward the front of the wagon, expecting Marie to be horrified and Pa to be furious. To his surprise, they were both smiling broadly.\u00a0Boy, if I had belched in front of a lady,<\/i>\u00a0he thought,\u00a0and on purpose, too<\/i>…still, it was nice to know\u00a0someone<\/i>\u00a0could get away with such behavior. He gave up and laughed too.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing leaned forward, his eyes crinkling mysteriously, and everyone fell silent to listen. He said softly, \u201cBut remember, Guang not common frog, so his\u00a0dah-gey<\/i>\u00a0not common either. Guang\u2019s\u00a0dah-gey<\/i>\u00a0go…BANG!\u201d he shouted, and Joe nearly fell off his lap. Hop Sing caught him and continued to shout, \u201cKa-pow! Sound of thunder, noise of avalanche, clash, boom, pow! Fire come from Guang\u2019s mouth!\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes were so wide that the whites showed all around the irises. \u201cFire shoot out, go up to sky and pow! Beautiful fire-flower, red and yellow petals falling to earth. Guang burp again and again! Pow, bang, clackle!\u201d<\/p>\n

Crackle,<\/i>\u00a0Adam thought, hearing in his mind the fireworks to come. He closed his eyes and saw the waterfall effect, the flaming scarlet and gold streamers against an ebony sky, bursting into life and fading as they fell.\u00a0Pow, bang, crackle. Whistle toward heaven and blow apart.<\/i>\u00a0He seemed to hear the echoes of one report blending into the next explosion.\u00a0Sky rocket,<\/i>\u00a0he thought.\u00a0Roman candle, Catherine\u2019s wheel, hummer. Dah-gey. Dah-gey.<\/i><\/p>\n

He opened his eyes and saw Hop Sing smiling at him. And Adam knew that from that moment on, he would always think of fireworks as\u00a0dah-gey<\/i>\u2014the gigantic belch of Light.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0An extremely silly response to a Chaps & Spurs challenge. Also partly inspired by the thread “Feminizing the Cartwrights.” Little-Little Joe is driving Adam crazy. Hop Sing has the solution: it’s story time!<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0K \u00a0WC \u00a01400<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":6426,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1091,39,4,30,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-joe","category-chaps-spurs","category-humor","category-prequels","category-challenges","wpcat-1091-id","wpcat-39-id","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-30-id","wpcat-40-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/vsy.jpeg?fit=248%2C203&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7161"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7161\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}