{"id":9461,"date":"2001-11-24T20:40:23","date_gmt":"2001-11-25T01:40:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9461"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:05:12","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:05:12","slug":"the-daring-deeds-of-the-deadeye-kid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9461","title":{"rendered":"The Daring Deeds of the Deadeye Kid (by Puchi Ann)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>: \u00a0When bandits invade the Ponderosa, a fourteen-year-old boy with an overactive imagination fed on dime novels decides that he and he alone can save his family.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rating: K \u00a0 Word Count: 6,040<\/p>\n

The Deadeye Kid Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Daring Deeds of the Deadeye Kid<\/a>
\nThe Deadeye Kid Rides Again<\/a><\/p>\n

The Daring Deeds of the Deadeye Kid\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Surprised by the sound of footsteps on the stairs, Ben looked up from the ledger he\u2019d been perusing with his eldest son.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u201d he inquired, a look of mild concern in his velvet brown eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNot headed for bed so early, are you?\u201d\u00a0 There had barely been time for one game of checkers between Joe and his other brother since supper.<\/p>\n

Little Joe turned to lean on the rail of the lower landing.\u00a0 \u201cUh, no, Pa.\u00a0 I just got homework.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam raised his dark eyes and frowned at the fourteen-year-old.\u00a0 \u201cYou have<\/em> homework,\u201d he corrected.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just said that,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n

Adam rolled his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cDo you need help?\u201d he inquired.<\/p>\n

A look of near panic sprang into the younger boy\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cShoot, no!\u201d\u00a0 He quickly calmed his voice and said, \u201cIt\u2019s just a couple of arithmetic problems, and I need to study for the spelling test tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam arched a thick, black eyebrow.\u00a0 Little Joe, studying, without being coerced?\u00a0 An image that incongruous would bear investigation as soon as he finished going over the ranch accounts with Pa.<\/p>\n

Pa, on the other hand, merely smiled in approval, told his youngest son good night and turned his attention back to the books.<\/p>\n

Quickly calling good night to Pa, Adam and a disgruntled Hoss, who was putting away the checkerboard after losing the single game Joe had consented to play, Joe darted up the stairs and into the first doorway on the right of the hall.\u00a0 He closed the door quietly and grinned at how easily he\u2019d made his escape.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t even had to lie.<\/p>\n

The smile faded slightly as he sat at his desk and opened his arithmetic book, but he worked the two remaining problems of his assignment quickly, not bothering to check for accuracy, and grabbed up his blue-backed speller.\u00a0 Tossing it onto the bed, Joe pulled off his boots.\u00a0 He walked to the bureau in his stocking feet, rummaged through the bottom drawer, the one reserved for out-of-season clothing, and pulled a thin, paperbound book from beneath his wool underwear.<\/p>\n

A shiver of anticipation rippled down Joe\u2019s spine as he gazed at the lurid four-color cover drawing of a buckskin-clad, flaxen-haired lad who served as hero of the dime novel he\u2019d surreptitiously purchased that afternoon at the general store.\u00a0 While Pa hadn\u2019t exactly forbidden reading the cheap little books, he frowned mightily every time he caught Joe looking at one.\u00a0 Best not get caught, then, Joe figured, as he tucked the book inside the speller he had no intention of studying.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t lied.\u00a0 He did have a test tomorrow and he did need to study, but Joe was a good enough speller to slide by with little more than a quick glance tomorrow morning.\u00a0 The blue-backed book simply served to hide the more fascinating adventures of Deadeye Dave, in case someone\u2014well, Pa or Adam, to be specific\u2014wandered in unannounced.\u00a0 Hoss didn\u2019t count, \u2018cause he wouldn\u2019t tattle or do more than mutter a token scolding.\u00a0 Though the brawny middle Cartwright son pretended to be too old for dime novels, the truth was he liked them just fine and was always eager to hear Joe recount the latest story.<\/p>\n

Hoss would be sure to like this one, Joe told himself as he plopped onto his bed, stomach down and stocking feet aimed toward the ceiling.\u00a0 He opened the book and began to read.\u00a0 Deadeye Dave could hit the eye of a squirrel at two hundred yards with his trusty Colt Navy revolver, according to the claim of the caption on the front cover, only it wasn\u2019t a squirrel he\u2019d be after in this tale.\u00a0 It was as slimy and slithery a villain as you\u2019d ever want to meet inside the pages of a book, and you sure wouldn\u2019t want to meet Scarpathio McSwain outside the pages of a book.\u00a0 Joe could tell that just from the drawing on the cover, in which the vile and villainous Scarpathio held a struggling girl by the wrist while firing at Deadeye Dave.<\/p>\n

Only a few pages into the story Joe discovered that the girl threatened by a fate worse than death was the beautiful and buxom Miranda May from down New Orleans way, and Joe was well on his way to falling as much in love with her as Deadeye Dave appeared to be when a sharp rap on his door made his eyes jerk up from the printed page.\u00a0 Before he could even say, \u201cCome in,\u201d the door opened and his oldest brother Adam came bursting through, eyes scanning the room for signs of mischief. \u00a0Joe quickly slammed shut his speller with the contraband dime novel concealed inside.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d he demanded tersely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, little brother, aren\u2019t you glad to see me?\u201d Adam inquired with an exaggeratedly innocent look.\u00a0 He pressed his hand to his heart.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019ll bet,\u201d Joe snorted.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just came to offer some help with your spelling test,\u201d Adam said, reaching for the blue-backed book lying on the bed.\u00a0 \u201cHere, I\u2019ll quiz you on the words.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe snatched the book and held it out of Adam\u2019s reach.\u00a0 \u201cI told you I don\u2019t need no help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need any help,\u201d Adam corrected, \u201cand it\u2019s rather obvious from your poor grasp of sentence structure that you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t gettin\u2019 tested on sentence structure,\u201d Joe insisted, lower lip thrust out stubbornly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a spelling test, I told you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey go together,\u201d Adam insisted, stretching out his hand.\u00a0 \u201cGive me the book, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a response guaranteed to fuel Adam\u2019s already sparked curiosity.\u00a0 \u201cGive me the book,\u201d he repeated firmly, \u201cor you\u2019ll be explaining to Pa why you refused my offer of help.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Cause I don\u2019t need it,\u201d Joe said, but the words trailed off \u2018til they sounded more like a question than an explanation anyone would accept.<\/p>\n

Adam snapped the fingers of his left hand and then slammed that index finger into the open palm of his right hand.\u00a0 With a sigh Joe relinquished the book and set himself to endure the diatribe to come.<\/p>\n

Opening the speller, Adam withdrew the garishly colored paperback and held it out with a snide smile.\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure \u2018deadeye\u2019 will be on the test tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive it back,\u201d Joe demanded, scrambling up to his knees and grabbing for the dime novel.<\/p>\n

Adam held it out of reach.\u00a0 \u201cNot on your life, little boy.\u00a0 You came up here to study, and study you will before you set eyes on this trash again.\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand the attraction, anyway, Little Joe.\u00a0 I seem to recall buying you a nice volume of appropriate reading material for your birthday.\u00a0 Have you read that yet?\u00a0 Somehow, I doubt it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe glowered at his older brother.\u00a0 The \u2018nice volume of appropriate reading material\u2019 had been, like all his older brother\u2019s choices for him, boring beyond belief.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I ain\u2019t read it yet.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get around to it, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 When there ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 better to do<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh-huh.\u00a0 You obviously \u2018ain\u2019t read\u2019 your grammar text recently, either,\u201d Adam drawled, \u201cso I think we\u2019d better spend some time with that tonight, as well, and it would probably be a good idea if I checked your arithmetic, wouldn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe groaned.\u00a0 He would obviously not be learning how Deadeye Dave saved the lovely Miranda May tonight.<\/p>\n

The prophecy proved only partially true.\u00a0 Though Adam drilled him for what seemed like hours on his spelling words and grammar and made him rework three of the arithmetic problems, his older brother did return the book in time for Joe to read one more chapter of The Daring Deeds of Deadeye Dave<\/em>, enough to see how Dave\u2019s sharp shooting rescued the fair maiden.\u00a0 Not only had Dave\u2019s first shot blasted the gun from Scarpathio\u2019s hand, but his next two bullets had severed the connection between the villain\u2019s suspenders and his waistband, forcing Scarpathio to flee while holding up his baggy britches with both hands.\u00a0 There were still twenty-five pages left in the little book, however, so Joe was pretty sure that the evil Scarpathio would be back again, just as he\u2019d threatened.\u00a0 Joe was too tired to read more, though, so he slipped the book beneath his pillow, and enfolding a second soft shape in his arms, he whispered words of endearment, similar to those he\u2019d read, into its downy depths and imagined the fair Miranda May covering his face with kisses of infinite gratitude and bestowing on him a lingering gaze of pure admiration.<\/p>\n

As Joe drifted to sleep, he realized that the key to making this dream come true with some real-life Miranda May was prowess with a six-shooter.\u00a0 There was only one obstacle: Pa had never let him touch a firearm, other than a hunting rifle, and wasn\u2019t likely to change that edict anytime soon.\u00a0 If Deadeye Joe were to be prepared for any Scarpathio types lurking around the Ponderosa, he would need practice with a pistol, but that was a problem whose solution would have to await the break of day.\u00a0 Joe worked on the problem in his dreams, sleeping so soundly that he never knew when Pa slipped in to readjust his bedcovers and tuck him tenderly beneath the lightweight blanket.<\/p>\n

\u00a0* * * * *<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Even though the sky was still black, without a trace of dawn\u2019s early light, Little Joe awoke with a smile and an idea.\u00a0 Sometime during the night important information had filtered into his memory, mainly that both Pa and Adam would be involved in some long-winded meeting in Carson City today.\u00a0 That would leave the road clear for him to spend some time away from the ranch, practicing his marksmanship, without having to explain why he was so late getting home from school.\u00a0 Hoss would be working somewhere on the ranch, of course, but even if he noticed that Joe wasn\u2019t home when he should be, Hoss was always susceptible to a simple explanation of boyish dawdling.\u00a0 Now all he had to do was get the gun.<\/p>\n

Joe crept stealthily from his room and peered down the hall.\u00a0 No crack of light showed beneath the bedroom doors of either of his older brothers, and while he couldn\u2019t see around the corner to his father\u2019s door, chances were Pa wasn\u2019t up yet, either.\u00a0 Joe tiptoed down the hall and peered around the corner into the great room below.\u00a0 Dark and empty.\u00a0 So far, so good.<\/p>\n

Step by step, Joe moved noiselessly down the stairs and went directly to Pa\u2019s desk in the alcove at the front of the house.\u00a0 Glancing warily up the stairs one more time, he eased open the top drawer on the right and removed the gun that Pa kept there for emergency use.\u00a0 Since he wouldn\u2019t be home, he wouldn\u2019t need it today, though, and Deadeye Joe certainly did.\u00a0 Tiptoeing across the room to the rifle cabinet, Joe opened a drawer beneath the rack of rifles and took out an extra box of ammunition of the correct caliber.\u00a0 Then, quietly and carefully, he ascended the stairs, slipped into his room and secreted the gun and bullets in his saddlebags.\u00a0 With a yawn Joe hustled back into bed and promptly fell asleep with a satisfied smile on his lips.\u00a0 Today was shaping up to be a great day.<\/p>\n

By the time school let out that afternoon, Joe was sure it was going to be a great day.\u00a0 He\u2019d made a hundred on his spelling test, probably thanks to bossy old Adam\u2019s dull drilling last night, and both Pa and his older brother would be happy to hear of that next-to-never happenstance.\u00a0 Not only that, but Joe had the whole afternoon to himself, to spend any way he chose without fear of detection.\u00a0 He\u2019d learned at breakfast that Hoss would be mending fence in the far northwest section of the ranch, so his older brother wouldn\u2019t be there to see whether or not Joe got home on time.\u00a0 Hop Sing would, of course, but early on Joe had convinced their Chinese cook that tattling was un-American.\u00a0 Hop Sing wanted to be a good American, so he never tattled, unless Pa cornered him and made him tell.<\/p>\n

Little Joe aimed his pinto toward a boulder-bordered glade far from the main house.\u00a0 Dismounting and tying Cochise\u2019s reins to the lower branches of a nearby pine, he took the gun from his saddlebag and twirled it in his left hand . . . and promptly dropped it.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t go off, thank goodness, but Joe decided he wasn\u2019t quite up to any fancy tricks yet.\u00a0 Today he\u2019d just work on firing straight and true.\u00a0 A quick draw and fancy twirls could wait \u2018til later.\u00a0 Joe was sure Pa would applaud that bit of wisdom.<\/p>\n

The gun was an old one, as was appropriate for a firearm rarely used, but Ben kept it clean and loaded, just in case.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t bothered a bit by the age of the Colt Navy revolver; in fact, he thought it was sheer destiny that he\u2019d found a gun of this make for the taking.\u00a0 After all, hadn\u2019t Deadeye Dave used a Colt Navy revolver?\u00a0 Sure, he had, so that made a Colt Navy the perfect weapon for Deadeye Joe, too.\u00a0 The logic was inescapable.\u00a0 Why, even old Adam would surely see that, if it were properly explained to him!<\/p>\n

Joe frowned slightly.\u00a0 Why was he worrying about how Pa or Adam would react?\u00a0 They weren\u2019t going to find out, so he really shouldn\u2019t be wasting time thinking about possible consequences if they did.\u00a0 Tucking the gun in his waistband, since he didn\u2019t have a holster, Joe began gathering pinecones and setting them up as targets on the shorter boulders and low limbs of pine trees surrounding the clearing in the woods.<\/p>\n

Holding the gun in his left hand, Joe adopted the jaunty stance Deadeye Dave had assumed on the cover of the dime novel, aimed at the nearest pinecone and pulled the trigger.\u00a0 Unprepared for the weapon\u2019s jolt to the shoulder, Joe stumbled backward and plopped, bottom first, into the dust.\u00a0 He scowled in self-disgust.\u00a0 This wouldn\u2019t do at all.\u00a0 Deadeye Dave would never have been able to intimidate Scarpathio while sitting on his backside.<\/p>\n

Joe scrambled up, firmly resolved to do better.\u00a0 Abandoning heroic flair in favor of staying on his feet, Joe held the gun with both hands and began firing as fast as he could pull the trigger, imagining each target to be the leering face of Scarpathio McSwain.\u00a0 No target, living or dead, however, needed to fear the aim of Deadeye Joe.\u00a0 Pinecones perched on branches and boulders trembled not as bullet after bullet flew past them harmlessly.\u00a0 Frustrated, Joe dug the box of bullets from his saddlebag and reloaded, following the technique he\u2019d often observed in his father and brothers.\u00a0 By the time he\u2019d emptied the revolver six times, Joe had hit exactly two pinecones, but he felt no triumph in seeing them shatter.\u00a0 They hadn\u2019t been the ones he was aiming at.\u00a0 Oh, well, it only meant he would need more practice.\u00a0 No doubt Deadeye Dave hadn\u2019t made much of a showing his first time out, either.<\/p>\n

Noticing that the orange orb of the sun was slipping steadily earthward, Joe packed up quickly, even though he had a few bullets left in his gun.\u00a0 Snatching the reins free from the branch, he vaulted into the saddle and rode fast.\u00a0 He had stayed later than he had intended, and Hoss, at least, was bound to be home, so Joe would have some explaining to do and not just to Hoss if he didn\u2019t hurry.<\/p>\n

As he rode, Joe settled on a simple explanation, for he\u2019d learned by experience that simple explanations worked best.\u00a0 Fancy ones tended to sound suspicious, and once suspicion was aroused, it was hard to quell.\u00a0 The best thing to do was focus on the positive thing that had happened today, so first thing he\u2019d tell whoever was home about the marvelous showing he\u2019d made on the spelling test.\u00a0 Then he\u2019d confess that he thought he deserved a little celebration and so had gone to the lake to swim and lost track of the time.\u00a0 Yeah, Hoss would fall for that in a minute and would be patting him on the back within two; Pa or Adam might be a harder sell, but Joe thought the story had a fine chance of flying.<\/p>\n

He remembered just in time to slow Cochise to a walk before entering the ranch yard.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t do to get even Hoss started down the scolding road by charging recklessly up to the door.\u00a0 Nope, he needed to move straight to the positive today, so Joe walked his horse into the yard.\u00a0 He was surprised to see several unfamiliar horses tethered to the corral fence, alongside Buck, Sport and Chubby.\u00a0 Company, huh?\u00a0 Was that good or bad?\u00a0 Not a search party, surely; he wasn\u2019t late enough yet to make his family worry enough to send out for help.\u00a0 More likely, the horses belonged to someone Pa and Adam had talked business with in Carson City and had invited home to supper to talk it over some more.\u00a0 Joe decided to work it to his advantage.\u00a0 Yeah, he\u2019d just go bursting into the front room, like he was too excited to notice that they had company and start bubbling about how well he\u2019d done on the test and slathering Adam with soft soap for all his help.\u00a0 Give Pa and big brother something to be proud of in front of their guests.\u00a0 That ought to do the trick!<\/p>\n

Putting a bright, beaming smile on his face, Joe bounded through the front door.\u00a0 \u201cPa, guess what!\u201d he cried as he rushed toward the fireplace, around which all three members of his family and Hop Sing were sitting . . . with their hands held behind their backs.\u00a0 Four voices shouted at him, almost simultaneously.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, run!\u201d Adam cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cRun, boy, run!\u201d Hoss hollered.<\/p>\n

\u201cRide for help, son!\u201d Ben urged.<\/p>\n

\u201cChop-chop!\u201d Hop Sing added for emphasis.<\/p>\n

Hearing the clatter of chairs pushing back from the table, Joe jerked toward the dining room, where he saw three desperados so dirty a dime novelist would have been accused of embellishing the truth if he\u2019d described them accurately\u2014and the woman getting up from what was usually Hoss\u2019s place at the table looked even worse.\u00a0 Joe took one look and bolted for the front door.<\/p>\n

The desperados followed in quick pursuit, however, and just as Joe threw himself up on Cochise\u2019s back, they dragged him down and hauled him into the house.\u00a0 Joe fought them all the way\u2014biting, scratching, kicking\u2014until the grimiest of the three outlaws drew back his hand and slapped the boy so hard that he fell to the floor.\u00a0 The other three Cartwrights and the Chinese cook lurched to their feet, but being tied hand and foot, they couldn\u2019t really do anything to help Joe.<\/p>\n

The woman, wiping pork fat onto her already greasy red calico bodice, got between the man and Joe.\u00a0 \u201cLeave him be, Zack,\u201d she snarled.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s just a kid; he cain\u2019t do nothin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t call me \u2018kid\u2019!\u201d Joe screeched, still struggling.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe bit me!\u201d Zack bellowed, glaring at Joe with savage hatred.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s got a few licks comin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, but we got no time for a tannin\u2019.\u00a0 The food\u2019s gettin\u2019 cold,\u201d the woman reminded him.\u00a0 \u201cJust tie him up and let\u2019s get back to that roast pig.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoast pig,\u201d Hoss moaned, dropping back down on the settee, his belly rumbling as it bewailed the loss of one of the big man\u2019s favorite meals.<\/p>\n

\u201cShould have let all dly up,\u201d Hop Sing grumbled, resuming his place on the stone hearth.\u00a0 \u201cBad men not deserve Hop Sing good loast pig.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot too tight, Jack,\u201d the woman cautioned as one of the other pig robbers tied Little Joe\u2019s hands behind his back.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t hold with hurtin\u2019 kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, \u2018Tildy,\u201d Jack grunted.\u00a0 \u201cWhatever you say, but it\u2019s on your head if he breaks loose.\u201d\u00a0 He loosened the ropes slightly.<\/p>\n

Matilda ran grimy fingernails through Joe\u2019s luxuriant chestnut curls.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna give us no trouble, are you, sonny?\u00a0 Hey, you know, you\u2019re a real cutie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe won\u2019t give you any trouble,\u201d Ben said sharply.\u00a0 \u201cPut him here by me, and I\u2019ll keep him in line.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA monumental task,\u201d Adam muttered under his breath.<\/p>\n

Ben glared at his eldest son, his dark eyes transmitting a message that now was not the time for his typical older-brother sarcasm.<\/p>\n

Jack finished tying Joe\u2019s feet and, hoisting the boy up by the back of his britches, dumped him at the foot of the burgundy leather chair in which Ben sat.\u00a0 Then he made his way back to the bountiful table.<\/p>\n

Joe inched up into a sitting position and leaned against his father\u2019s leg.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do they want, Pa?\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cJust roast pig?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRoast pig,\u201d Hoss whimpered again, saliva drooling from the corners of his mouth as he watched the outlaws eat his dinner.<\/p>\n

\u201cHush,\u201d Ben hissed toward his middle son.\u00a0 Looking down at his youngest, he said, \u201cNo, Joe.\u00a0 They\u2019re after what\u2019s in the safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlleady got that,\u201d Hop Sing sputtered.\u00a0 \u201cWhy they eat Hop Sing pig, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

From his blue chair across the room, Adam snuffled his derision of the easily distracted thieves.\u00a0 \u201cBecause it was there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t never had us a chance to live like high and mighty Cartwrights, that\u2019s why,\u201d Zack hollered from the head of the table.\u00a0 \u201cSpeakin\u2019 of high livin\u2019,\u201d he said as he shoved back the chair, \u201cwhere you keep the liquor, Cartwright?\u00a0 The good stuff, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFind it yourself!\u201d Ben snapped over his shoulder.<\/p>\n

As Zack came lumbering toward Ben, Adam spoke up quickly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s in there.\u201d\u00a0 He motioned with his head toward a cabinet behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Ben growled in rebuke, but he stopped when he saw the crafty look in his son\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t let them hurt you, Pa,\u201d Adam called loudly, adding melodramatically, \u201cLet them have the liquor.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t worth your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben understood at once what Adam was thinking.\u00a0 The quartet of bandits was already a stumble-brained lot, who had only succeeded thus far because they had caught the Cartwright men off guard, one by one.\u00a0 Liquored up, they\u2019d be easier to take.\u00a0 Ben nodded once to acknowledge his comprehension and settled back in the chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood thinkin\u2019, boy,\u201d Zack cackled as he stalked toward the cabinet, followed by another of his cohorts.\u00a0 Finding it locked, Zack kicked in the side.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw, you broke one,\u201d the third thief grumbled, falling to his knees to dabble his fingers in the booze and touch them to his tongue.\u00a0 \u201cIt was prime, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t matter none, not when there\u2019s as much as this.\u201d\u00a0 Zack pulled out two bottles of Ben\u2019s best brandy and headed back toward the dining room.\u00a0 \u201cHelp yourself, Mack.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a yellow-toothed grin Mack reached into the cabinet and drew out two bottles of red wine.<\/p>\n

Soon the only sounds heard were slurps and burps as the wine was drained to the dregs, the brandy guzzled to its last distilled drop and the pig picked to the bare bones.\u00a0 When the four bottles were gone, Zack, Mack and Jack staggered back to the liquor cabinet for a new supply.\u00a0 They each grabbed a bottle and, tilting it up to their mouths, sprawled out around the cabinet, each determined to down as much as his bloated belly would hold.<\/p>\n

Little Joe surveyed the scene with disgust.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t somebody do something?\u00a0 Hoss looked like he was about to cry, just because the roast pig was all gone, and Hop Sing obviously couldn\u2019t see past the ravaged dinner table, either.\u00a0 Adam had turned coward on them, tattling about the booze before he took a single jab to the jaw, and Pa seemed content to just sit and watch these greasy scoundrels tear the place apart.\u00a0 Well, if nobody else was going to do anything, it was up to him to save his family.\u00a0 The ropes on his hands were loose, anyway; it shouldn\u2019t take long to work himself free.<\/p>\n

While the men gurgled and giggled on the floor, Matilda had a different sort of entertainment in mind, and she\u2019d consumed just enough liquor to make her bold enough to grab what she wanted.\u00a0 Hands on her hips, she sashayed up to the oldest Cartwright brother, gave what she intended to be a provocative wiggle and plunked herself in Adam\u2019s lap.\u00a0 Pressing her greasy bosom against his black shirt, she planted her mouth on his as she raked her pork-oiled fingers through his thick, dark locks.<\/p>\n

Adam almost gagged as her sage-and-onion-laced breath wafted into his nostrils.\u00a0 \u201cWouldn\u2019t you rather,\u201d he started to say when she came up for air, but before he could say more her sandpaper lips were once more assaulting his.<\/p>\n

Joe shuddered in horror.\u00a0 Now, that truly was a fate worse than death!\u00a0 Adam wasn\u2019t as pretty as Miranda May, but he needed rescue just as bad.\u00a0 Sensing that the family honor was now at stake, Joe tugged harder on his bonds and gasped in relief as he felt the ropes grow slack.\u00a0 Slow and easy<\/em>, he told himself as he let the ropes slip off and moved his hands toward the bindings on his ankles.\u00a0 Eyes glued to the quartet of ne\u2019er-do-wells, none of whom were paying the slightest attention to the kid they were sure could do nothing against them, he untied his feet, turned and began to crawl quietly between his father\u2019s chair and the fireplace.<\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss and Hop Sing all saw him go, and Ben, especially, began to pray that the boy would make a clean escape.\u00a0 The chances looked good, with the men being consumed with the contents of the liquor cabinet and the woman consumed with\u2014well, unfortunately, with his oldest son.\u00a0 Poor boy, he was going to deserve a medal for surviving this night.\u00a0 As for his other boy, the one now crawling around the dining table toward the kitchen, Ben wasn\u2019t sure what Joe intended.\u00a0 Not just to escape, he could be confident of that.\u00a0 The boy was brave, and he loved his family.\u00a0 Probably gonna get a knife from the kitchen and come back to cut us loose<\/em>, he surmised with a certain degree of dread.\u00a0 Ben really wished Joe wouldn\u2019t try that.\u00a0 It might work, but it was risky, depending on just how besotted the men were with liquor and the woman with . . .<\/p>\n

He cringed.\u00a0 Though it would extend Adam\u2019s suffering, it really would be wiser if Joe just went for help, and Ben could only hope the boy would have sense enough to remember where the nearest help was to be found.\u00a0 Oh, he would; of course, he would.\u00a0 Joe was young and impulsive, but he wasn\u2019t dim-witted, and he knew which neighbors could be trusted in a hazardous situation like this.\u00a0 Ben tried to calculate just how long it would take Joe to get to those neighbors, tell his story and send them back here to help.\u00a0 Too long<\/em>, he sighed, as he looked across the room at Adam\u2019s squirming figure.\u00a0 Much too long<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Joe, in the meantime, had crawled through the doorway into the kitchen.\u00a0 Out of sight of the bandits, he stood and walked slowly and stealthily to the door.\u00a0 Opening it with only the slightest creak of the hinges, he slipped through into the cool, dark night and headed straight for Cochise.\u00a0 Call him a kid, would they?\u00a0 Well, he\u2019d show them; he\u2019d show them all just what this kid could do.\u00a0 Joe unbuckled his saddlebag and took out his trusty Colt Navy revolver.\u00a0 Opening the chamber, he counted only three bullets.\u00a0 Oh, well, he wouldn\u2019t want to shoot a woman, anyway.\u00a0 His mouth set in a determined line, Deadeye Joe headed back toward the kitchen door.<\/p>\n

Pleased to see that his absence had still not been noted, Joe burst into the dining room.\u00a0 Running past the table, he planted his boots shoulder-width apart and holding the gun with both hands to steady his aim, he boldly shouted the words, slightly altered, that had worked so well for Deadeye Dave.\u00a0 \u201cReach for the sky, you dastardly devils, for you dare not draw on the Deadeye Kid!\u201d<\/p>\n

The announcement did not bring about quite the reaction Deadeye Joe was expecting.\u00a0 The first sound he heard was a groan from his brother Adam, followed by \u201cHeaven help us.\u201d\u00a0 The second was the incredulous, high-pitched query of his father, \u201cJoseph?\u201d\u00a0 After that, the sights and sounds were swirling around him too rapidly for Joe to sort them out.\u00a0 Of the trio of drinkers on the floor, Zack recovered most quickly and began fumbling for the gun in his holster.\u00a0 Joe fired first, though, and the grandfather clock by the front door chimed in protest as the bullet struck its pendulum.<\/p>\n

Infuriated at the sight of a man about to draw down on their little brother, both of the older Cartwright boys stood up.\u00a0 As Adam jolted to his feet, Matilda toppled into the floor, and Adam tripped, falling flat across her prone figure.\u00a0 Hoss, though, kept his feet and in an amazing display of agility for so large a man, he jumped onto the sofa with both bound feet and then launched himself over it at Zack, who had just succeeded in getting his gun out of its leather holster.\u00a0 Zack fired off a shot, but his aim was deflected when Hoss crashed into him.<\/p>\n

Bullets flew from all directions, for while Hoss had Zack pinioned to the floor, and Adam and Matilda were hopelessly entangled, Jack and Mack had a clear shot at the Deadeye Kid.\u00a0 What they didn\u2019t have was clear vision, for their heavy alcohol consumption had blurred their eyesight.<\/p>\n

Emboldened by the fact that every bullet had missed him, Joe raised the revolver once more.\u00a0 Dare to draw on the Deadeye Kid, would they?\u00a0 The blackguards must be taught a lesson!\u00a0 Joe fired once more, but bad men were as safe as pinecones from the erratic aim of Deadeye Joe.\u00a0 Grim with determination, Joe pulled the trigger a third time.\u00a0 This time the bullet found a target, one as large as the Ponderosa itself, and it landed smack in the middle of that Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

Hoss yelped as the bullet creased his ample backside.\u00a0 Mack and Jack ran for cover behind Ben\u2019s desk, and Ben, who had finally struggled out of his chair, hopped frantically toward Little Joe.\u00a0 \u201cPut that down,\u201d he yelled, \u201cbefore you kill someone!\u201d<\/p>\n

Realizing that he was out of bullets, anyway, Joe lowered the revolver.\u00a0 \u201cI was just tryin\u2019 to help, Pa,\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you want to help, get a knife,\u201d Ben snapped, \u201cand hurry up about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gulping, Joe ran to the kitchen and grabbed up the first sharp knife he saw.\u00a0 Running back, he had just managed to slice through the ropes binding Ben\u2019s hands when Mack and Jack recovered their courage and came stumbling out from behind the desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy feet, quick!\u201d Ben shouted as the two men headed toward him.<\/p>\n

With one cut Joe severed the rope between his father\u2019s ankles and moved over to the fireplace to free Hop Sing as Ben charged toward Mack and Jack.\u00a0 Joe started toward Adam next, but decided to bypass that writhing tangle of limbs.\u00a0 He had a feeling Adam was going to win, anyway, even tied up.\u00a0 About time his older brother started showing some gumption, the Deadeye Kid concluded, and left Adam to deal with Matilda.<\/p>\n

Hoss was doing just fine with his man, too, having subdued Zack by simply sitting on him, but since Pa was outnumbered two to one, Joe decided he might need Hoss\u2019s help.\u00a0 Two swift slices set Hoss free, but Pa didn\u2019t need his help after all.\u00a0 Hop Sing had grabbed the empty pig platter off the table and was attacking everyone within reach.\u00a0 \u201cThat teach you steal Hop Sing loast pig,\u201d he declared vehemently each time the platter hit one of the offenders.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell \u2018em, Hop Sing!\u201d Hoss hollered in encouragement.\u00a0 A strangled sound to his right reminded him that there was still one Cartwright under attack.\u00a0 Taking pity on his older brother, he walked over, somewhat awkwardly due to the pain in his buttocks.\u00a0 Lifting Adam out of Matilda\u2019s grasp, Hoss plopped his brother down on the sofa.\u00a0 \u201cCut him loose, Joe,\u201d Hoss ordered as he held Matilda back.<\/p>\n

The next five minutes were pandemonium, but when that time had passed, the roles had been reversed: the outlaws, now bound hand and foot, lay scattered across the great room of the Ponderosa, and their former captives stood triumphantly over them.\u00a0 \u201cWe did it, boys,\u201d Ben said with satisfaction.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re gonna be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe grinned broadly.\u00a0 \u201cThanks to the Deadeye Kid,\u201d he announced proudly.\u00a0 The grin faded as four sets of eyes fixed on his face.\u00a0 \u201cBut I did save you,\u201d he insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou blame sure didn\u2019t save me!\u201d Hoss snorted, hand held to his burning backside.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr anyone else,\u201d Ben declared sternly.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what\u2019s this nonsense about the Deadeye Kid?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe explosive combination of a dime novel and a kid\u2019s overactive imagination,\u201d Adam offered.\u00a0 His nose wrinkled in distaste.\u00a0 \u201cI knew I should have taken that trash away from you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFoolishment.\u00a0 Nothing but little boy foolishment,\u201d Hop Sing muttered as he moved toward the dining room and began to clear the table.\u00a0 The first thing he removed was the Colt Navy revolver Joe had dropped there on his way to the kitchen for a knife.\u00a0 \u201cThink this yours, Mistah Cahtlight,\u201d he said, holding out the weapon.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt certainly is!\u201d Ben said, staring at the gun in his hand.\u00a0 \u201cWould you care to explain how it happened to be in your possession, Joseph, when I have specifically forbidden you to touch handguns?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe tried to work up a charming smile, but only succeeded in producing one that looked sheepish.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s like this, Pa,\u201d he began with a nervous quiver in his voice.\u00a0 \u201cI just had a feeling there might be some Scarpathios\u2014uh, I mean, bad hombres\u2014gettin\u2019 ready to do us harm, and so I figured we\u2019d need every man\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMan,\u201d Adam scoffed with a roll of his eyes.<\/p>\n

A brush of Ben\u2019s hand silenced his oldest son, and he turned back to the youngest.\u00a0 \u201cPlease continue, Joseph,\u201d he said brusquely.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d need every man who could handle a gun,\u201d Joe finished with a glare at his oldest brother, \u201cand so I figured I\u2019d best practice up and\u201d\u2014he stopped as the glowering gaze of his father settled fiercely on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so you took my gun\u2014without permission,\u201d Ben growled.<\/p>\n

Joe gulped.\u00a0 \u201cWell, yeah, but\u2014but aren\u2019t you glad I did?\u201d\u00a0 He bobbed his head hopefully and then began to wag it dolefully from side to side.\u00a0 Pa didn\u2019t look glad; neither did Adam, and Joe didn\u2019t dare look at Hoss, who had more reason than either of the others to be mad at him.<\/p>\n

Ben folded his arms and stared at his youngest son.\u00a0 \u201cYou get yourself upstairs, young man,\u201d he decreed imperiously, \u201cand you\u2019ll soon learn how glad I am.\u00a0 If ever a necessary little talk was in order, I do believe this is the time!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n

Ben snapped his fingers and pointed toward the stairs.<\/p>\n

Joe looked pleadingly, first at Adam and then at Hoss.\u00a0 Seeing sympathy on neither face, he turned and ran up the steps.<\/p>\n

With measured tread Ben mounted the stairs after his son.<\/p>\n

Hoss nodded in solid approval.\u00a0 Though generally a staunch defender of his younger brother and an unfailing advocate for mercy, tonight he hoped Pa would show none.\u00a0 The Deadeye Kid deserved to feel a little sting exactly where his big brother did.<\/p>\n

Grimacing, Adam plucked at his greasy shirt and wiped the slime from his lips with the back of his hand.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing, I need a bath,\u201d he announced.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

\u00a9 November, 2001<\/p>\n

Next Story in The Deadeye Kid Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Deadeye Kid Rides Again<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags:<\/strong> Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Dime Novel, Hop Sing, Hoss Cartwright, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0When bandits invade the Ponderosa, a fourteen-year-old boy with an overactive imagination fed on dime novels decides that he and he alone can save his family.<\/p>\n

Rating: K \u00a0 Word Count: 6,040<\/p>\n

The Deadeye Kid Series, links to all stories of this series included.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":48,"featured_media":9462,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,4,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-humor","category-prequels","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/DimeNovel1.jpg?fit=293%2C370&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/48"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9461"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9461\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}