{"id":9679,"date":"2014-09-08T13:35:12","date_gmt":"2014-09-08T17:35:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9679"},"modified":"2025-08-01T13:29:15","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:29:15","slug":"the-devil-in-disguise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9679","title":{"rendered":"The Devil in Disguise (by BluewindFarm)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Learning bits and pieces of the past enforces a difficult lesson regarding thinking before one acts, and the need to hear both sides of a story before reacting. With the family poised to fall apart, can harmony be restored?\u00a0 A Seedling Challenge that germinated into a full story.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: T (16,235 words)<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Devil in Disguise<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 1 \u2013 The Eruption<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSHE WAS MY MOTHER!\u201d sixteen year old Little Joe Cartwright yelled as he angrily stood over his eldest brother who lay sprawled on the ground next to the hitching rail in front of their home. Joe\u2019s left hand pointed accusingly towards his brother, his other fist tightly clinched. With his chest heaving and his cheeks burned crimson red as tear stains streaked his face, he screamed, \u201cI HATE YOU!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ignoring the perplexed and pained expression on his brother\u2019s face, the youngest son of Ben Cartwright turned away and ran to the barn. A few moments later, he raced his pinto out of the yard without looking back at the scene of chaos he had created.<\/span><\/p>\n

In agitation, Sport pulled against the reins that held him tied, yet still allowed him to nervously move only a few feet away from his downed rider. Adam had only managed to raise himself up to resting on an elbow as he stared in disbelief at the disappearing figures. The dust was gently settling back to the ground; in complete contrast to the manner in which it was kicked up. Slowly, Adam pulled his legs under his center of balance and using the hitching rail, pulled himself up and shakily stood to his feet. While trying to settle Sport, he heard soft footfalls padding across the wooden porch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Adam, you alright?\u201d Hop Sing inquired as he offered a steadying hand to the oldest son of his employer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026 Yeah, I\u2019m alright,\u201d Adam answered and grimaced slightly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy Lit\u2019le Joe yell? Why you on ground?\u201d he\u2019d seen the pale dirt coating the backside of Adam\u2019s clothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea,\u201d Adam replied as he ruefully shook his head and thought better of it. \u201cHe came storming out of the house and threw me a left hook.\u201d Using his right hand he moved his jaw back and forth in an effort to make sure the joint still functioned properly. \u201cThat smarts,\u201d Adam offered as he spat out the blood that had pooled within his mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome, I get cloth, clean you up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The Oriental man stayed close at hand as Adam cautiously made his way inside and walked as if slightly inebriated. He guided his charge to the striped settee and helped him sit down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRest head back, I get cloth and witch-hazel, ease hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Hop Sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Fifteen minutes later, with his head resting against the back of the settee after having been attended to, Adam attempted to contemplate his youngest brother\u2019s actions but the ringing in his ears prevented him from focusing clearly on the problem at hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing quietly went about his duties as he tidied up the mess that he had made in tending to the oldest son, and prepared to dispose of the water bowl, the towels, and the bottle of witch-hazel. He hadn\u2019t been surprised to find the lump on the back of the man\u2019s head, considering how unsteady he had been while walking into the house. He looked up from his task after hearing the front door open and saw his employer\u2019s middle son enter the home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShhh,\u201d he warned. With his arms full, he chose to nod his head forward in an effort to indicate the man resting on the settee as he stepped away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing the dark head of hair resting back, Hoss asked, \u201cWhat happened? Ain\u2019t like older brother to leave his horse outside unattended to come in here and snooze.\u201d He removed his hat and placed it on the high table behind the settee. As he walked around to the front of the piece of furniture he said, \u201cOw\u2026\u201d and grimaced as he saw the developing bruise. \u201cWhat\u2019d he tangle with?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe no tangle\u2026 brother tangle him,\u201d Hop Sing answered as he left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gently lowering himself to sit on the low table placed in front of the massive fireplace, Hoss slowly shook his head back and forth, curious about what had set his sibling off.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you say to him this time?\u201d Hoss asked, not realizing he\u2019d spoken aloud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say anything except hello,\u201d answered Adam, his eyes still closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s gonna be a right colorful bruise Shortshanks gave ya. Somethin\u2019 had ta set him off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll I did was come home\u2026 tie Sport to the railing\u2026 and turned around when I heard someone approach. I\u2019ve never seen him so angry before.\u201d Opening his eyes he slightly lifted his head forward in an effort to see his brother sitting there, he twisted his head on his neck in an effort to see Hoss straight. The act of Hoss slowly shaking his head back and forth made Adam feel queasy; so he allowed his head to fall back and closed his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI had ta leave before you two finished breakfast, did ya have words after I left?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 Hoss I know that kid\u2019s been chafing at the bit\u2026 the restrictions Pa and Doc Martin placed on him\u2026 But I have no idea what set him off this time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he? He upstairs?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he took off on Cochise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe done what?! Oh Lordy\u2026 Pa\u2026 He ain\u2019t gonna be happy with him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Both brothers hated the sinking feeling in the pit of their stomachs as they heard the voice calling from out in the yard.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?! Hoss?!\u201d Ben Cartwright called as he halted his horse in the yard and saw two of his sons\u2019 horses standing, still saddled, in the afternoon sun. \u201cJoe?!\u201d he called as he stepped down from Buck.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn here Pa,\u201d Hoss called from the doorway before retreating back inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time their father entered the great room, Adam had given in to fully resting his body across the entire length of the settee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d a concerned Ben asked having seen the dark head of hair, knowing how unusual it was for this son to relax during the busiest part of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThree guesses and the last two don\u2019t count,\u201d Adam sarcastically answered as he sensed his father\u2019s footsteps approach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s your brother?\u201d Ben asked as he sat down on the edge of the settee cushion and turned to take a closer look at the forming bruise.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe lit out of here a few minutes after\u2026 this,\u201d answered Adam as he gave a flourish of his hand to indicate his jaw.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Ben looked back and forth between his two sons.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea,\u201d answered Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Ben looked up at him, Hoss shrugged his shoulders and slipped his hands into his front pockets and answered, \u201cI weren\u2019t here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben startled at the realization of his son\u2019s earlier statement, \u201cHe\u2019s left? Where\u2019d he go? He knows he\u2019s not supposed to be in the saddle yet!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s feelings for his sons flittered between concern towards their injuries and anger that they had actually resorted to fighting; and now Joe was out riding with who knows what injuries inflicted by his oldest brother, when he should have still been in the house, resting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, go look for your brother and get him back here,\u201d Ben angrily ordered. \u201cAnd you,\u201d Ben looked to Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t lay a hand on him. He practically blindsided me.\u201d Even with his eyes closed, Adam knew what his father was planning to say; he understood the tone of voice used.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Adam right,\u201d Hop Sing championed. \u201cI hear him come home, Joe storm out of house. He yell at brother, ride out. I find numba one son on ground by horse. Help him to house, stop him falling down. I tend his injuries.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to what had been said and not said, Ben sternly spoke to his eldest, \u201cAdam, open your eyes and look at me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing the soothing tone of his father\u2019s words, Adam hesitated, but ultimately he slowly complied as he turned and raised his head to look at the man he had so long admired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow many fingers am I holding up?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t answer that Pa\u2026 because I know my answer is going to be wrong.\u201d He lowered his head back to the settee, eyes closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked up and saw that his middle son had yet to leave to find his missing brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, go get Paul. I think Joe will have to wait,\u201d stated Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, if he\u2019s this mad, I shore don\u2019t wanna tangle with him, neither. Probably best to let him cool his heels,\u201d acknowledged Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded. As his middle son left the house, he returned his attention to the one lying so still beside him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBesides your jaw, where else do you hurt?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think I struck my head on the railing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Gently Ben used his fingers to explore his son\u2019s head, \u201cYou have a goose egg on the back of your head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAn ostrich egg would be more fitting,\u201d Adam quietly teased, trying to allay his father\u2019s fears and not wince at the touch. Behind his closed eyes, white pin dots of light flickered across the blackness of his vision.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, let\u2019s get you up to bed,\u201d Ben offered as he reached for his son\u2019s arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cActually, Pa\u2026 I think I\u2019d prefer to stay right here. I\u2019d hate for Hop Sing to have to clean up a mess on the stairs or down the hallway.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam raised his knees in an effort to quell the sensations emanating between his head and his stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNauseous?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Adam whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re probably concussed,\u201d Ben commented.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cProbably so,\u201d Adam answered as his body relaxed more, knowing his father was close at hand. \u201cTired\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy son, Doc Martin will be here soon. Guess it won\u2019t hurt for you to sleep, seeing as you\u2019re coherent\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSleep\u2026\u201d Adam mumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben gave a knowing look to Hop Sing as he stood up and stepped away from his eldest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right back, I need to put Buck and Sport away, or I might see if one of the men is available to take care of them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI watch Mr. Adam,\u201d Hop Sing acknowledged.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Several hours later, Doctor Paul Martin entered the Cartwright home followed by Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe was here on the settee when I left,\u201d Hoss quietly stated as he took the doctor\u2019s hat and set in on the sideboard, along with his own hat and gunbelt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe still is,\u201d Ben quietly answered as he stepped from his study area.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss said Joe lit into him? Did he lose consciousness at all?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am here, you know,\u201d Adam quietly stated, hidden from the view of the good doctor by the back of the settee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry son, I thought you were sleeping,\u201d Ben quietly answered as he walked over to be near his eldest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s alright Pa, I did for a while. It\u2019s kind of hard to sleep the way my head is feeling,\u201d Adam answered having yet to open his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded as he stood behind the settee while the doctor walked to the other side and sat down on the low table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026 care to tell me what happened, and where you hurt and how bad?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

“As for why Joe lit into me? I have no idea. My jaw just aches, but this ostrich egg\u2026\u201d Adam moved his hand to the back of his head while one corner of his mouth teased up into a smile, for his father\u2019s sake, \u201c\u2026is quite tender.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you lose consciousness?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but my vision was blurred and wouldn\u2019t focus for a while,\u201d answered Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow about now?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHaven\u2019t opened my eyes lately.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, he said was feeling quite nauseous earlier and we felt it best to leave him down here instead of trying to get him upstairs and to his bed,\u201d Ben offered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou did the right thing in not moving him.\u201d Turning his attention back to his patient, Doc Martin stated, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go ahead an open your eyes now Adam. Take it slowly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Patiently they waited until Adam\u2019s eyes were open.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s your vision? Blurry, multiples?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, other than my eyes hurting a little, I can see you and everything clearly,\u201d answered Adam with a sigh of relief.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you can sit up?\u201d Paul inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have Hop Sing bring in a basin,\u201d Ben announced, he\u2019d barely turned before their housekeeper was at his side, handing a bowl to his employer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you thrown up since this happened?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet\u2026 And I don\u2019t want to, either,\u201d replied Adam, a scowl on his face indicated how hard he had tried to settle his insides.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll take it nice and slow. Hoss, would you help raise Adam to a sitting position?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShore doc,\u201d Hoss answered as he stepped around the settee to assist his brother. \u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe room isn\u2019t spinning,\u201d answered Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAny nausea?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam slowly moved his head left and right to indicate no, he exhaled deeply. \u201cNo, thank goodness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd your vision?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt wavered in and out of focus for a moment, but right now the only thing that\u2019s fuzzy is what set off Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Fifteen minutes later Paul stood and happily informed the family that he didn\u2019t feel there Adam had sufferen any lasting damage, said to give him a few days rest and two weeks of light duty.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour pupils are slightly uneven as I would expect from being concussed, but I\u2019m sure by morning they\u2019ll have balanced out. I\u2019ll leave some powders to take of an evening so you can fall to sleep. Just take them for the next three nights and see if you can go the fourth night without. If you can\u2019t, try taking only half a dose.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Doc,\u201d answered Adam as he watched the packets exchange hands from the doctor to their factotum.<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor\u2019s final prognosis was that by the end of two weeks Adam should be able to return to full work, as long as he listened to his body and stopped when necessary until that point in time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stepping to the front door, Doc stated, \u201cJust send for me if Adam needs me. Oh\u2026 and tell Joseph, that I\u2019m thinking of adding another week to his restrictions for riding out of here before I cleared him to ride.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Having followed the doctor to the door, Hoss stated, \u201cBetween you and me Doc, I think he\u2019ll take your punishment better than he\u2019ll probably take to what Pa\u2019s gonna do to him. How bad\u2019s this gonna set him back? I mean\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I had planned to let him start doing some light chores and allowing him to begin riding when I came out tomorrow to give him one last examination.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026 But he don\u2019t need to know that, do he?\u201d inquired Hoss, hoping the physician understood his intent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he doesn\u2019t,\u201d Doctor Martin answered in a conspiratorial tone of voice as he placed his hat on his head and walked out the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shutting the door behind the doctor, Hoss returned to sit with his family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you feeling now, son?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBetter. Still would like to know what set the kid off\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid he say anythin\u2019?\u201d Hoss inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid he say anything? No. But he screamed that Marie was his mother…\u201d Adam slightly winced as he felt the back of his head. \u201c\u2026and that he hated me. That\u2019s all he said before he raced Cochise out of the yard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d Ben grew appalled. \u201cWhat did he mean by that? How could he hate you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea, Pa. No idea at all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The flames from the fire illuminated the room as Ben rested back in his leather chair, waiting for his youngest son to return home. Shortly after supper he and Hoss had assisted Adam upstairs and helped him get ready for bed. Hoss offered to sit with his brother at least until he fell asleep. An hour had passed before Ben heard one door open and close, followed by footsteps attempting to be quiet walk down the hallway, and another door opened and closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 2 \u2013 The Current Past<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

While waiting, Ben had thought on how it had been such a long six weeks since that fateful day. The days leading up to it had the whole family and all their hands out gathering the herds and looking for wayward strays as they endured the annual branding season.\u00a0\u00a0 Riding, roping, and branding cattle was hard work, and they all had put in several week\u2019s worth of strenuous labor.<\/span><\/p>\n

When the family had finally returned home after the last calf was branded and released, Joe had been quiet the whole trip for which they all were all thankful. But in looking back, that should have been the first indication to something being wrong. He also didn\u2019t put up a fight about being the last one in line to bathe. When the wash tub was finally available for the boy\u2019s use, Ben had found him asleep on top of his bed covers. The father roused him well enough that Joe made it to the bath house on his own. Thirty minutes after he\u2019d entered the wash house, Hoss had found him asleep in the tub with his nose barely above the waterline.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shaking his head, he smiled as he dumped cold water on the unsuspecting youth who bolted wide awake and screamed, \u201cHOSS!\u201d and sputtered at the water dripping down his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa been in here long enough, \u2018sides, you were plumb near under the water. Ya want to drown yourself?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou done a good enough job on that already!\u201d Joe retorted, his anger over rode his discomfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSupper\u2019s waiting\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, yeah, get out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss left the room in a good mood, happy he\u2019d gotten one on his prankster of a brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting at the dining room table, Ben and Adam had laughed at Hoss\u2019 description of what had transpired.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

After draining the water from the tub, and drying off and dressing, Joe begged off dining with his family, proclaiming he just wasn\u2019t hungry and was too tired to sit. Ben saw the look in the boy\u2019s eyes and took slight comfort in the humor having heard his son say he\u2019d probably end up face down in the mashed potatoes and gravy if he sat down.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone bid the youngest goodnight as he left the dining room. Ben watched as Joe slowly climbed the staircase, each footfall slower and more of an effort than the previous, before he disappeared around the corner. He knew that a lot of Joe\u2019s exhaustion had to do with his age and size, and his wanting to prove himself as good as his other family members.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head. How many times had he suggested his youngest to slow down a little or step out of the saddle for break? Joe glared at him the way only the boy could; a look that expressed his displeasure at being treated like a child and at the same time thanking his father for the offer; an offer he only accepted when Hoss or Adam were taking a break as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

There were several times where before riding away Joe called out laughingly, \u201cCan\u2019t, got too much work to do and not enough daylight! Besides one of us Cartwrights needs to be working!\u201d He waved to his brothers as they drank from their canteens while standing upwind from the stench of burned hides.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it had been several days since the laughter accompanied the statement. Ben knew from past experience that long days in the saddle dealing with recalcitrant calves pulling at tired muscles could wear any man down, let alone a sixteen year old boy. He had looked forward to the branding of the last calf and giving his sons several days to do as they pleased. He\u2019d envisioned joining them for an afternoon down at the fishing hole.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Don\u2019t worry Pa, he\u2019s still growin\u2019 and all this work ain\u2019t easy on him,\u201d stated Hoss as he scooped a large helping of potatoes to his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026 Still\u2026 at sixteen, he\u2019s just so much smaller than either of you were at the same age.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShucks Pa, at sixteen, Adam was so much smaller than me,\u201d teased Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

“He\u2019s doing a good job, Pa,\u201d boasted Adam. \u201cHe just needs to get that occasional chip off his shoulder, if he could do that, he\u2019d make a right fine ranch hand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not just a ranch hand, he\u2019s your brother! And one day he\u2019ll stand right along beside the two of you and help run this place,\u201d Ben used the tone of voice to indicate he didn\u2019t appreciate his eldest son\u2019s sarcastic comments, even if they were disguised in good humor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean anything by it Pa. I know you\u2019re worried about him. He\u2019s probably just tired, like he said,\u201d Adam conceded. \u201cThis is the first season he\u2019s worked full time on the ranch; he\u2019s finding out it\u2019s not as easy as he thought it would be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Later that night, before going to bed, Ben checked on his youngest and it didn\u2019t surprise him to see the boy curled and twisted tightly in his blankets. As a father he marveled at how even in sleep Joe Cartwright seemed to always be on the go.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Morning came and all four Cartwrights sat around the table, three happily enjoying the biscuits and sausage gravy breakfast Hop Sing had cooked. Joe ate sparingly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you need to eat to keep your strength up, son,\u201d Ben encouraged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust not hungry Pa,\u201d Joe answered as he set his fork to the side of his still full plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you feeling alright?\u201d Ben queried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa, just not hungry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen if you\u2019re not hungry, why don\u2019t you go out and hitch up the surrey,\u201d suggested Hoss as he reached across the table. \u201cI\u2019ll just finish cleaning your plate.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Joe answered as he pushed his plate away, stood, and left the house. Once out of sight of his family, he hurried across the yard and promptly lost what little breakfast he had ate.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried about him,\u201d Ben stated as he heard the door close.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fine, Pa. After church he\u2019ll probably be as hungry as Hoss here,\u201d rejoined Adam as he drank from the China cup containing his morning coffee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat is if he can sleep through the preacher\u2019s sermon,\u201d teased Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben ignored his sons\u2019 repartees.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben would have enjoyed the ride into town more had he not kept an eye on his youngest as Joe appeared to struggle to find a comfortable position in which to sit in the back seat of the surrey. Their father paid little attention to the conversation between his two oldest as they talked while sitting in the front seat; he frowned as the boy leaned against the upright that supported the top and shifted one way or another.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a father, he did worry about the slight sheen of his youngest son’s sweat-glistened face, but then it was a rather warm Sunday.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t focus much on the sermon as he kept a watchful eye on his youngest. The congregation stood and had just begun to sing the closing hymn when Joe doubled over, clutching both arms across his stomach, and collapsed to the floor while curling into a fetal position. Several women in the pew and behind the family began to scream and the organ music screeched out a sickening sound.<\/span><\/p>\n

Realizing something was horribly wrong and in an effort to prevent Joe from striking his head on the back of the pew in front of them, Ben and Adam had attempted reach for him, but neither could totally stop Joe from writhing on the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben supported his son\u2019s head in his lap while Adam loosened the boy\u2019s tie and unbuttoned his collar. Both men were oblivious to the quietness that settled within the church as they tended to their family member.<\/span><\/p>\n

“What\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d Hoss asked as he looked down at his family. Joe\u2019s arms were wrapped around his stomach while he breathed heavily and moaned in pain. Feeling a hand on his arm, Hoss looked up to see Doctor Martin trying to gain access to the stricken young man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, let me in there,\u201d Doc Martin stated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss slipped from the row, as did Adam, to allow the physician to reach their brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

While Paul and Ben tended to their sibling, Adam, Hoss, and the minister asked everyone to please leave the church.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened, Ben?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure. He just collapsed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo previous symptoms?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Shaking his head Ben answered, \u201cWe\u2019ve all put in two long weeks of branding, he wasn\u2019t hungry last night, nor this morning. He was fidgeting, couldn\u2019t sit still on the ride into town.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s got a quite a fever running,\u201d Paul stated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can feel it,\u201d Ben answered. \u201cHe was sweating a little as we rode in, I thought it was the weather…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe tell me where you hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The only response Paul received was a groan. Looking up from his patient, Paul called out, \u201cAdam, Hoss, let\u2019s get your brother to my surgery. It\u2019ll be easier to examine him without the confines of these pews.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He moaned loudly and grabbed his stomach tighter as his middle brother lifted and carried him out of the sanctuary. The pain he felt prevented him from hearing the words of comfort that his father offered as he strode with his sons to the doctor\u2019s office. Tears slipped from tightly shut eyes, an indication of just how much pain the youngest member of their family was suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss spoke soothing sounds as Joe rested his head on his shoulder; and he felt the wetness of his brother\u2019s tears dampen his shirt.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grabbed their hats from where they had fallen, before he followed his family to the doctor\u2019s surgery.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Two and a half hours later, Paul Martin stepped out from behind the closed doors of his surgery to address the worried family. Ben appeared grief-stricken as he sat in one of the more comfortable chairs in the room. Hoss stopped his pacing when he heard the door open. Adam, leaning against the wall, turned his attention from looking out the window as Paul cleared his throat to announce his presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe is going to be okay,\u201d he stated first off, holding up both hands to indicate they should patiently listen, because there was more he needed to say. \u201cHowever, he\u2019ll need to spend a few days here. I want to make sure there are no complications before I send him home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with \u2018em doc?\u201d inquired Hoss as he worried his large hat, turning the brim around and around in his hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I wasn\u2019t able to talk with you before I operated\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOperated?!\u201d Ben felt his stomach drop.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter examining him, I determined it was critical that I performed the surgery immediately. I\u2019m sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, but it couldn\u2019t be helped. Right now, there\u2019s nothing to worry about, everything worked out for the best. We can all be thankful that he was lucky to be in town when the pain became intolerable.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you have to operate?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe suffered an acute case of appendicitis,\u201d Paul answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWith appendicitis, isn\u2019t there more warning than him just collapsing?\u201d Adam asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and from what little I was able to gather during my examination and the questions Joe could answer\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul looked to the various family members.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t any of you notice anything?\u201d Paul asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been more tired than usual of late, but we\u2019re branding\u2026 He weren\u2019t hungry last night or this mornin\u2019, but that ain\u2019t too far from his norm\u2026\u201d stated Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we were traveling into town this morning, he couldn\u2019t seem to find a comfortable way to sit,\u201d answered Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I should have said something during services, I thought he was running a fever, but it was so warm in church today,\u201d Adam offered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI should have noticed\u2026 As his father I should have noticed his symptoms before this morning,\u201d voiced Ben in his guilt of not paying closer attention to his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, ya know Joe… If he don\u2019t want us to know somethin\u2019, he\u2019ll do his best to hide it,\u201d Hoss offered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Hoss is right. Joe wasn\u2019t going to let anything stop him from proving he was capable of working right alongside his family,\u201d Adam agreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t surprise me, knowing your brother the way we all do. Joe doesn\u2019t want anyone to know when he\u2019s sick. From what you\u2019ve just said, he\u2019s probably been trying to prove himself to you\u2026 so he chose to tough it out instead of saying anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTough it out? How serious was this, Paul?\u201d Ben queried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t lie to you\u2026 Had he not been in town, he probably would have died. There\u2019s not much that can be done once the appendix ruptures\u2026 As I stated, it was an acute case, and in order to save his life, I had no time to spare. I\u2019m sorry I wasn\u2019t able to say anything before..\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Ben faltered at the thought of losing his youngest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot until I had already removed it and was placing it in a pan to dispose of later,\u201d Paul answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy God,\u201d Ben breathed out as he collapsed back to the chair he had previously sat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Doctor Martin understood the fear the entire family must have felt while they waited, not knowing what was happening behind the closed door. He\u2019d been sorry to have prolonged notifying them of the surgery, but he felt he needed to clean up his surgical suite as he knew this family would want to see Joe more than anything. He didn\u2019t want them to see the bloody clothes and instruments, nor did he want them to see the organ he had removed from their loved one.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRest assured, the boy will make a full recovery, but it is going to take some time,\u201d Paul said to encourage them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan we see him?\u201d asked Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, but he won\u2019t know you\u2019re here. He\u2019s still heavily sedated and I plan to keep him that way until morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The family quietly gathered around their youngest member and gave thanks that he had come through this crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing that Hop Sing would be worried when they failed to return home, Adam wrote a brief note to him and another more detailed note to their foreman, Charlie, informing them what happened. He asked the telegrapher if his son would mind riding out to the Ponderosa to deliver the messages, and promised the boy a dollar when he returned.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The afternoon dragged on for the two brothers, who came and went in order to alleviate their own concern and burn off nervous energy. Ben stoically remained by his youngest son\u2019s bed side as the sun dipped past the horizon and night settled over Virginia City.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss brought supper and ate in the room with their father, while Joseph continued his medicated sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Monday morning dawned in Virginia City before Joe woke from surgery. Paul entered the room to see Ben sitting in the overstuffed wing-back chair in what appeared to be a very uncomfortable position. The doctor\u2019s eyes focused on his patient as the boy began to slowly move about under the sheet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy Joe,\u201d Paul leaned over and whispered in Joe\u2019s ear. \u201cI had to perform surgery and I need for you to lie still.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s voice sounded graveled as he voiced one word, \u201cPa\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s asleep. Here, take a small sip of water.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul lifted Joe\u2019s head from the bed and held the glass to his lips. After two shallow swallows, Paul pulled the glass away and laid Joe back to the bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s see if that will stay down, and I\u2019ll give you some more in a few minutes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe asked as he tried to move and grimaced.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said, lie still.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOw\u2026\u201d Joe cried out, reaching for his stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPaul?\u201d Ben called as he roused at hearing his son\u2019s distress.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOur patient is waking up,\u201d Paul answered while attempting to prevent Joe from moving. The physician\u2019s words brought Ben to full attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, son,\u201d Ben greeted. \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWanna go home,\u201d Joe answered as he fisted his hands, hidden under the sheet, against the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet young man. You had major surgery yesterday and it will be a few days until you\u2019re well enough for me to allow you to travel to the Ponderosa,\u201d Paul answered as he offered another sip of water to his patient.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh uh,\u201d Joe replied as the queasiness made its presence known. \u201cSick\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul and Ben carefully rolled Joe to his side as the physician slipped the bedpan under his patient\u2019s face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe wrapped his arms around himself as the convulsions pulled at the incision site; he curled his body against the pain. The young man moaned in between each gagging reflex until Ben help lay him back in total exhaustion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, just take a sip of water to rinse out your mouth and then spit it out. We\u2019ll see if you can keep some water down the next time you wake.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe obediently complied, anything to get the vile taste out of his mouth; and then complained of being cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor pulled a heavy blanket out from one of the cabinets in the room and spread it over his patient.<\/span><\/p>\n

Only a few minutes later, Paul and Ben were thankful when the boy drifted off to sleep allowing the physician to examine the boy without any hindrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s he doing?\u201d Ben asked as he watched Paul finish his examination and pull the sheet and cover back over the boy\u2019s chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t surprise me that he suffered after-effects from the anesthesia. I\u2019m pleased with how his incision looks, a little strained, but the stitches are holding tight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe looks feverish\u2026\u201d Ben rested his hand on his son\u2019s forehead.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026 I\u2019m a little concerned about the low-grade fever he\u2019s running\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCouldn\u2019t that just be his body\u2019s reaction from what he suffered?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think so\u2026 I\u2019d prefer it to be that versus something else that would force me to have to perform another surgery. We just need to keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam had been pleased to return to the doctor\u2019s office Monday morning to be told Joe had woke, only to be disappointed they had missed a chance to talk with him as he had returned to sleeping. They left telling Paul they were going to the diner to order breakfast and would return to eat with their father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Later in the morning, once Joe had awakened again, and they had spoken a few words with him, Adam and Hoss finally gave into their father\u2019s insistence that they return home to take care of business and to prepare for the upcoming cattle drive. And to let Hop Sing know Joe\u2019s condition and that it would be several days before Ben or Joe returned home.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The low-grade fever persisted for almost a week, which made Joe even grumpier when he was awake because the physician wouldn\u2019t allow him to go home until his temperature returned to normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Doctor Martin had also stipulated that he would only allow the boy to travel home after he proved that he could, and would, eat a meal; and not feel the urge to toss it back up. He\u2019d had no problem keeping broths down for the first few days, but the first time he ate a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, it quickly made a repeat appearance which caused Joe untold grief as his stomach continually contracted and pulled at his injury. By the time the spasms eased, Joe was totally exhausted and crying as he laid across his father\u2019s thighs, the man rubbed circles across his son\u2019s back.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

After spending ten days at the physician\u2019s surgery with his son, Ben was just as ready to go home as was Joe. Paul Martin had warned his patient that he was not to do any work and under no circumstances was he to ride until given permission.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss delayed their departure with the men on the cattle drive telling Charlie they would catch up with the herd just as soon as they helped their father return Joe home. The following morning, they left before sunrise, both having peeked in on their brother before leaving.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Fourteen days after the surgery, Paul traveled to the Ponderosa to remove Joe\u2019s stitches and discuss his condition with the boy and his father as part of his post surgical evaluation. After listening to comments and concerns, Paul was happy with Joe\u2019s progress that he gave the youth permission to perform light chores and said if he wanted to, Joe could even help Hop Sing in his garden or to groom Cochise. But he was still restricted from riding or performing any strenuous labor; he knew the boy was eager to get out of the house and thought if he reduced some of the restrictions the boy would find it easier to continue his convalescence. He hoped Joe would appreciate spending time grooming Cochise, even if he couldn\u2019t ride the gelding.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben attempted to keep Joe pacified, but as his condition improved and he felt better than he had in a while, he chafed at his continued restrictions. Hop Sing also helped distract the boy by telling him tales of his homeland as they work side-by-side in the kitchen or the garden. Whenever Joe announced his intention to head to the barn to groom his horse, Ben made sure he moved his paperwork from the study to the deck outside. It\u2019s not that he didn\u2019t trust his son; it\u2019s just that he knew his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 3 \u2013 About the Past<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It had been almost five weeks since Joe\u2019s surgery and during his recovery the warm weather of summer had transitioned into a warm fall. The cattle drive had been a success as the oldest brothers and their drovers delivered the herd to just outside of Sacramento.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

After only being home for ten day, Adam and Hoss had spent the day with Ben surveying their land and making decisions for which pastures would be best to use as wintering grounds. The older members of the family returned home to find Joe napping on the settee with a book lying open across his chest. Ben and Adam looked at each other as Hoss took a quick glance at his youngest brother and snickered, before heading up the staircase.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had been pleased earlier in the week when Joe had finally taken him up on the offer to read some of the books from his personal library; he held off from offering books that had belonged to his mother.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

That night, Adam and Ben were intrigued as they delved deeper into answering questions that Joe posed to them; simple answers just wouldn\u2019t suffice. Joe had immersed himself in reading Moby Dick and was captivated by the tale Herman Melville had written of the captain gone mad in his quest for the white whale. Joe asked how the story related to Ben\u2019s years at sea. The youngest brother also made sure to include Hoss in the conversation, he excitedly told of the dramatic passages he had read.<\/span><\/p>\n

The conversation slightly waned while waiting for dessert. Hop Sing delighted the family as he placed a chocolate cake on the table and served four large slices to the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, if you\u2019d like, up in the attic I\u2019m sure I kept boxes that contain the books that belonged to your mother. Books she enjoyed reading,\u201d Ben stated. He had never offered the books to Marie\u2019s son, knowing he hadn\u2019t inherited her love of books, as Adam had from Elizabeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother has books\u2026in the attic?\u201d Joe asked as he ate a piece of chocolate cake. He swallowed before adding, \u201cSorry, Pa. I shouldn\u2019t have spoken with my mouth full.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re forgiven, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The following morning, after Hoss and Adam headed out to the range, Ben escorted Joe into the attic and to the boxes that held his mother\u2019s possessions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Father and son spent the morning going through the boxes as they searched for the books, with Ben explaining the items that piqued Joe\u2019s curiosity. Ben wasn\u2019t sure what was in each box; after the funeral, Hop Sing had been the one to pack away all of Marie\u2019s belongings.\u00a0\u00a0 As the son opened each box and removed its contents, Ben marveled as he remembered each item. The box containing the books had been found early on; however, Joe was curious to explore the other boxes. It pleased Joe to learn something of his mother that he had either never known or had long forgotten. For Ben, it was another step in healing the long ago hurt that was never absent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wish that I\u2019d known that she loved to read these books,\u201d Joe offered as he closed the final box and returned it to the storage chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry that I\u2019ve never brought you up here before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for sharing your memories of my mother\u2026\u201d Joe hesitated in speaking, seeing the emotions his father’s face conveyed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou alone of my sons are the only one who ever knew your own mother\u2026 I never intended to keep any of this from you\u2026 In the beginning, it hurt too much to want to go through her possessions. And\u2026 you just never seemed as interested in books…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI understand Pa, I mean\u2026 Adam\u2019s the brains of the family.\u201d Excited by what he held in his hands, Joe continued, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to read these and to discuss them with you and Adam, like we did last night. Do you think Adam would mind?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you know he always wanted you to apply yourself more to your studies when you were in school,\u201d answered Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going to college,\u201d Joe flatly stated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe know that, but that doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t learn more through reading and discussing what you read with your family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was following his father down the steps from the attic into the main hallway of the second floor, carrying a box containing his mother\u2019s books.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, do you mind if I spend time in my room reading?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe, go right ahead. I\u2019ll call you when Hop Sing has lunch ready.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d answered Joe as he entered his room and closed the door behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust remember, lunch should be ready in about an hour.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe gently pulled a book from the box and examined its cover; he read the first few pages in an attempt to decide which story might be the first one to read, before he set it aside to look at the next. He\u2019d almost reached the bottom of the box and had set the more interesting books in one stack, and the others that didn\u2019t seem as exciting in several other stacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?!\u201d Ben called from the bottom of the staircase. \u201cHop Sing has lunch on the table.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cComing, Pa!\u201d Joe hollered back as he carefully stood and walked around the piles, in order not to knock over the books.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe made it to the table just as Adam and Hoss entered the home and sat down at the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSay Shortshanks, ya find your momma\u2019s books?\u201d Hoss inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure did. Pa and I found a box of them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you decided which book to read first,\u201d Adam asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben eagerly listened, allowing the boys to direct the conversation. He knew which books Marie had enjoyed the most and he was eager to hear which books intrigued his youngest; without pressuring the boy to read something that he didn\u2019t find interesting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet\u2026 I\u2019m reading the beginnings of them, just to see which order I want to read them; don\u2019t want to get bogged down in one book when there might be another exciting book waiting to be read. I\u2019m almost to the bottom of the box.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI remember your mother sitting in the blue chair reading of an evening. Sometimes you\u2019d be on her lap, other times you were already upstairs asleep,\u201d Adam explained. \u201cShe could paint a vivid picture as she read. And\u2026 we\u2019d talk a little about what she was reading.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCould we do the same?\u201d Joe hesitantly asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019d be happy to,\u201d Adam answered, pleased that his brother was finally taking an interest in literature.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, do you mind if I spend the rest of the afternoon upstairs reading Momma\u2019s books?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Not at all,\u201d Ben answered; pleased that something had taken his son\u2019s interest that would prevent the boy from realizing he was still following the doctor\u2019s orders.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

After lunch, Joe returned to his room and pulled another book from the box and noticed a few smaller books at the bottom of the box. Joe pulled out the last books, but as he looked at them, he realized they weren\u2019t published books, but rather, they were his mother\u2019s journals. Quickly opening each journal in turn, he glanced at the first few entries in an effort to decide which one to read first, he decided on the journal that coincided with his parents meeting each other in New Orleans.<\/span><\/p>\n

He read of names he had never heard his father mention: Eduard D\u2019Arcy, Marius Angerville, and Madame deMarigny. There were locations noted that he had no idea where they were. He grew enthralled at the idea of a duel, but worried when he read that his father was involved. Joe relaxed, realizing his father must have been the victor, otherwise he wouldn\u2019t be here.<\/span><\/p>\n

He skipped over his mother\u2019s entries related to the events of her marriage to Ben Cartwright and their honeymoon, but he quickly began reading again as her writing continued during their travels to the Ponderosa.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Over the course of the next few days, Joe giggled as he came to his mother\u2019s description of meeting Hoss for the first time, not quite believing the child was as young as Ben had stated, but then when the child wrapped his arms around her after being introduced, she had no qualms that he was only five years old. The journal entries continued to focus on the wonders of the land surrounding her new home, the love that Hoss gave freely, and the impression that her oldest step-son was very reserved with his emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scanned over a few uninteresting entries, but read with interest the words describing the small home being remodeled into a larger home and enjoyed the humor of his mother describing how she would watch young Adam working alongside his father in deciding what needed done as they drew out the floor plans.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The home had finally been completed and everyone settled in their new rooms; and Joe wanted to close the journal, but the words written next drew Joe to continue reading.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018How can I keep this from Ben\u2026 How can I hurt the man I love in such a manner as to tell him that his oldest son hates me? I knew that Jean had come out west, and Ben said Jean had worked for him\u2026 It was the news of Jean\u2019s death that brought my beloved to me\u2026 But I cannot tell him what has happened, of the argument and the cruel words Adam shouted.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

‘How could Jean have been so cruel as to tell such lies to a child? How do I convince Adam that those stories were nothing but lies? Adam has declared that he hates me and that he will never love me.\u2019<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s emotions were in turmoil. His mother had written that his brother hated her? Who was this Jean? How could Adam hate her? Joe\u2019s anger and curiosity drew him to read more, and as he read, his rage only increased.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 4 \u2013 A Past Exposed<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben knew that when Joseph decided to finally appear, the boy would be either recalcitrant or remorseful for his earlier actions. The worried father just wished he knew which and how best to address the situation. They had all been worried when Joe had first taken ill, but now, as his health improved; he was testing the limits of restrictions as ordered by the doctor. But for the past week, life had been pleasantly peaceful as Joe immersed himself within Adam\u2019s book and finally his mother\u2019s books.<\/span><\/p>\n

While waiting for his son to return home, Ben decided to go to Joe\u2019s room to see if he could find any valid reason for Joe\u2019s actions towards his brother. When he had left the Ponderosa early in the morning to attend a Cattlemen\u2019s Association Meeting in town, the boy had still been asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

But now, the boy should have been in bed hours ago as the clock next to the front door chimed midnight.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

As he lit the lantern on the table and looked around his youngest son\u2019s bedroom, it was evident that Joe had been lying on the bed while reading. The covers were tussled indicating he had moved about. As Ben stepped around the bed to close the window, he stumbled over an object on the floor. Picking it up, he was curious about which book Joe had been reading and was a little upset at his son\u2019s callous actions of leaving one of his mother\u2019s cherished books lying on the floor. \u00a0Without a title on the cover, Ben opened the book and recognized the delicate penmanship of his late wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had written in a journal all his life, ever since he went to sea, however, he never knew his wife kept one as well. He scanned the few pages where the journal had been opened to, and was mortified of the true depths of events that happened between his wife and his eldest.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The Argument\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not my mother and you can\u2019t tell me what to do!\u201d eleven year old Adam proclaimed as Marie insisted that he return to focusing on his studies after they had eaten their evening meal. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, all I\u2019m asking is that you focus on your studies\u2026\u201d replied Marie.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have work to do, this is a working ranch, not some social club. Chores don\u2019t take care of themselves,\u201d Adam declared.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know this is a working ranch, but your father has hired men to take care of his ranch while he is away.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHis ranch? This is our ranch! And who do you think is supposed to supervise the men while my father is away?\u201d argued Adam.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be Charlie, the foreman,\u201d answered Marie.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m my pa\u2019s right-hand man; it\u2019s up to me to make sure things happen properly!\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you are not quite twelve years old and still a child. I know your father believes an education is important and he would be upset to know that you were remiss in your studies. So please, come back to the table so we may continue.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t believe all that had happened in the past three months. His father had returned home from a business trip to New Orleans, not only with the funds from having sold the pelts from the animals they had worked so hard to trap, but he had also come home married. That day, Adam\u2019s heart sank as his father helped the woman who entered their home before him to remove her wrap and introduced his sons to their new mother. Hoss readily accepted this woman and actually cried when he hugged her and she wrapped her arms around him in return.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s only response had been to acknowledge her by saying, \u201cMa\u2019am.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It had been three months of Adam not being able to work alongside his father and the men. Three months of this woman overseeing his studies. Three months of this woman taking his father away from him. Three months of his hearing the people at the trading post talking about the way she dressed, the way she spoke, the way she acted\u2026 what she must have done to support herself before Ben had married her and brought her \u2018home\u2019.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

And then this afternoon, to have found her where he had…<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am not a child! You might think you\u2019re a Cartwright, Pa might have married you, but I\u2019ll never accept you as my mother. My mother died giving birth to me\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that your mother died shortly after you were born\u2026\u201d Marie calmly replied, hoping to diffuse the situation. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Marie had spoken on numerous occasions with her husband regarding Adam, inquiring how she could make things easier between them; how she could gain his acceptance. Ben was at a loss, but felt given time, Adam would come around. His suggestion was to, \u201cJust continue being yourself. Your kindness will ultimately worm its way into his heart.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Adam continued on, ignoring Marie\u2019s comment. \u201cThe only other woman I\u2019ll ever accept as my mother is buried at Ash Hollow, and gave me my brother Hoss. I know what you are! Jean told me. Jean said the only reason you married him was to get your hands on his family\u2019s money! I\u2019ll never let you hurt my father as much as you hurt Jean. I can\u2019t believe Pa married you\u2026 I\u2019ll break the spell you cast upon my father to get him to marry you! I\u2019ve heard the women in town talk; you\u2019re nothing by a highfaluting whore! I hate you and I\u2019ll never love you!\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Marie sat in shock at the words her step-son threw at her, tears welled in her eyes before she asked him one question, \u201cDo you even know what a whore is?\u201d Not willing to stay any longer in the room, Marie fled up the stairs, seeking sanctuary in her bedroom.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben read in Marie\u2019s own handwriting of Adam\u2019s hurtful words. She wrote of how she had thought that the news she would share with the family once Ben returned would be a blessing, but now\u2026 with Adam declaring to do anything he could to ruin his father\u2019s marriage\u2026 Marie wondered how she could ever tell the family she was with child. Would Ben ultimately leave her, as Jean had, declaring the child she carried was not his? Were the women at the trading post really talking about her in such a manner? Had Ben heard the gossip? Would he believe them?<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

With his wife\u2019s written words fresh in his memory, Ben remembered back to the events a few months before Jean\u2019s death.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Papa\u00a0 Help!\u00a0 HELP!” screamed four year old Hoss as he hid under the wagon. “PAPA!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The chubby boy’s fingers gripped the spokes of the wagon wheel tightly as he continuously peered left and right, occasionally looking out from underneath only to duck back under again.\u00a0 The light from their campfire reached the wagon, casting an eerie shadow underneath as the boy moved about.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright dropped the wooden bucket at the bank of the stream, as he heard his little boy screaming in terror.\u00a0 Hurriedly he ran across the uneven ground, fearing anything and everything that might have befallen his child.\u00a0 Ben arrived back at their camp to see his eldest boy and his working hand kneeling beside the wagon attempting to coax the younger boy out from under.\u00a0 The worried father relaxed somewhat as his eldest crawled on his hands and knees to reach his brother.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“What happened?” Ben called as he tried to project an air of calmness that he didn’t quite feel.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m sorry Ben… Adam and I were talking… I thought Little Hoss was asleep.\u00a0 I’m not sure what happened.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Hoss?” Ben quietly called as he knelt beside the wagon, one hand on the wheel to balance himself.\u00a0 “It’s okay Hoss, Papa’s here.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Dunt let im get me Papa,” Hoss cried as he shoved his brother’s arms away and crawled to his papa.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I’ll protect you.\u00a0 Come here.”\u00a0 Ben held his arms in front of him as he coaxed his son out.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pulled the young boy into his arms; his son wrapped his arms tightly around his father’s neck and his legs around his father’s waist.\u00a0 He felt the boy trembling.\u00a0 He carried the child over to their campfire and sat down on a fallen tree; his son on his lap.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I be good boy,” Hoss stated.\u00a0 “We go chursh.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Yes, we’ll go to church on Sunday,” Ben’s voice and words seemed to sooth his son.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Pa?” Adam hesitantly asked.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben’s body and facial expressions revealed his confusion, at the unasked question from his oldest son, regarding what had scared the youngster.\u00a0 With his heart beat returning to normal the father asked, “Are you okay, Adam?”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m fine Pa.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Do you have any idea what might have scared your brother?\u00a0 You weren’t telling any ghost stories, were you?”\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben continued to soothe his young, distraught child, rubbing his back and holding him tight.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“No sir.\u00a0 We thought Hoss was asleep.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Papa, peeze… dunt let ‘im get me.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I won’t let anyone get you.\u00a0 Why were you hiding under the wagon?\u00a0 Can you tell Papa what scared you?” Ben asked as he swept his young son’s blonde bangs back from his face.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I’z hidin’ fom ‘im,” Hoss said as he looked around again and up to the sky.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Who were you hiding from Hoss?” Adam asked as he placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder and leaned into his father.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

At ten years old, seeing his brother as frightened as he had been had scared the older boy.\u00a0 Though he was not a demonstrative child, he still felt the need to be comforted without making it look like it.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Bad man,” Hoss whispered.\u00a0 “Up dere.”\u00a0 Hoss quickly pointed to the sky.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Who’s up there?” Ben asked.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Cupping his hand to his father’s ear Hoss said, “The Devil.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Hoss, the Devil isn’t in Heaven,” Ben replied.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“No Hewen… da skies.”\u00a0 Hoss burrowed his face into his father’s shoulder.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The other man who shared camp and had worked alongside Ben Cartwright for the past few months began to laugh and attempted to apologize at the same time, “Ben, I am sorry.\u00a0 I tis all my fault, my accent and all.” The man spoke with a thick southern accent.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“What’s your fault?” Ben asked as he tried to understand what had happened to frighten his child.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m sorry.\u00a0 I was telling Adam about the only woman I had ever loved and how she turned out to be a devil in disguise, turned everything good we had, wrong.\u00a0 The boy must have thought I said the Devil was in the sky,” explained Jean deMarigny as he took time to slowly enunciate his words.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

After settling the two children into their bedrolls in the back of the wagon, the two men talked. Never had they seriously discussed their wives before, and it was somewhat of a shock to the widower to understand the devastation his friend felt as he described his wife\u2019s betrayal.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust how much of this have you discussed with Adam?\u201d Ben inquired.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot the details\u2026 I\u2019d never tell a child that sordid past. But he knows that I feel she betrayed me and our marriage vows; but I didn\u2019t tell him of how I came home to find her sleeping in bed with another man. Ben, can you believe that later\u2026 she had the nerve to claim she was with child and it was mine? I should have listened to my mother; all she wanted was the name deMarigny\u2026 With our last name, her world was her oyster, so to speak. Soon after, I left my home and I came west, I wanted to put her deceit and that part of my life behind me, Ben. I hope you understand.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Neither man realized that Adam Cartwright was listening to their discussions.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It was only a few months later, when they were cutting lumber that Ben realized the true love Jean still carried for his wife. And it was a promise made to a dying man, a dying friend that led Ben Cartwright to travel to New Orleans to tell her the truth, and the news.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

As he closed the book, he looked to the stacks of books on his son\u2019s desk and carefully removed the other journals that belonged to his late wife. He had much to discuss with his oldest and his youngest.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 5 \u2013 The Forgiving the Past<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had returned downstairs, sitting in his leather chair. He heard the soft footfalls on the steps and looked up from staring at the opened pages of Marie\u2019s journals, surprised to see his eldest coming down the staircase.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam? Are you alright?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine Pa, thought maybe one of Hop Sing\u2019s special teas might help settle my stomach and get me back to sleep. I\u2019m surprised to find you down here at this hour.\u201d And then Adam understood why. \u201cI take it that Joe hasn\u2019t come home?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he hasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShould I wake Hoss? Maybe we should go looking for him\u2026\u201d offered Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf he\u2019s not home by first light, I\u2019ll head out. You, young man, are in no condition to be riding.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be alright. I just wish I knew what set him off. We actually had a good conversation before I left the house this\u2026 yesterday morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think\u2026 In fact, I know the truth,\u201d Ben\u2019s tone turned slightly hard as he thought on what had happened on that day so long ago, and the fact that his youngest knew.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam proceeded towards his father and sat down on the settee. Ben recognized the still pale complexion of his son as well as his stubborn determination that indicated he was hiding the fact that he wasn\u2019t as well as he tried to display.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, did you know that Marie kept journals?\u201d Ben asked, he needed to know more; there had to be more behind what Marie had written.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t surprise me if she did. You and I both have.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd in your journals, do you write of things you would never tell another soul?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, doesn\u2019t everyone?\u201d Adam answered, his expression changed to one of curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUnknowingly, in the box of books that I gave Joseph earlier this week, there were journals from his mother. Joe\u2019s been reading them.\u201d Ben watched to see if any understanding came to his eldest. \u201cAdam, I know in the beginning, when I brought Marie home as my wife, I know it wasn\u2019t easy for you. And I also know that a number of the good citizens at the trading post had certain ideas regarding Marie\u2019s past. I just never imagined that my own son would use that word against my wife.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam grew concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarie wrote of some troubling thoughts in one of her journals. Unfortunately, it was from this particular journal that I believe that Joe was reading, and he only read up to the date where the two of you argued and you\u2026\u201d Ben swallowed with great difficulty, \u201cyou called my wife a whore.\u201d Ben watched an aggrieved expression appear on his eldest\u2019s face. \u201cShe also wrote that you told her that you would never allow her to hurt me as she had Jean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking back to those early days, Adam understood exactly what his father was saying.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry\u2026 I never…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow could you?!\u201d Ben demanded. He stood from his chair and paced in front of the large fireplace.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sat momentarily stunned that his father had found out a secret he had harbored for almost seventeen years. He felt the same punch in the stomach as Marie had felt that day when he had hurled the words at her. He remembered the look on her face before she ran up the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I have no excuse for what I did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“I don\u2019t want an excuse\u2026 I want an explanation. How could you?\u201d Ben stopped and faced his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt the time I was\u2026 \u00a0I was hurt\u2026 I felt like she was treating me like a child\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were a child!\u201d Ben forcefully declared.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but at the time\u2026 I was still hurting over the loss of Inger, and trying to understand Jean\u2019s death, and here you came home with a new wife\u2026 And I had no say in the matter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou had no say in the matter when I married your mother\u2026\u201d Ben replied, arching his eyebrows.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but I feel I had a hand in your marriage to Hoss\u2019 ma. It\u2019s hard for me to explain.\u201d Adam inhaled deeply and exhaled the breath very slow. \u201cFor me as a child\u2026 for so long it had been just the two of us, and then Inger, and finally Hoss. We were the perfect family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat still doesn\u2019t explain your actions.\u201d Ben gave up pacing and walked back to sit in his chair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou never told us that she was Jean\u2019s widow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think it mattered that Marie had been married before, or that she had been married to Jean,\u201d Ben stated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt didn\u2019t, until I found her earlier that particular day at Jean\u2019s grave. I asked her why she was crying there\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd she told you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she said he was\u2026 had been her husband\u2026 and I remembered what he had told me and what I\u2019d overheard to two of you talking about that night when we were camping out in the woods. I\u2019d also heard the women at the post\u2026 talking.\u201d Adam averted his eyes; he couldn\u2019t look at his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so you chose to disrespect my wife, your mother\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t see her as my mother\u2026 not then,\u201d Adam answered, slightly belligerent and with regret.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I expected better from you,\u201d Ben sternly stated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know I behaved poorly after Marie joined the family. But once I found out she had been his wife\u2026\u201d Adam knew his explanation was going inadequately. \u201cI don\u2019t expect you to forgive me for my actions of that night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you would even ask me to forgive you\u2026 Adam, it just doesn\u2019t make sense, I raised you better than that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A troubled silence filled the great room as father and son thought on how to proceed forward. Adam now understood why Marie had insisted in the truth behind their argument not be revealed to Ben, how would they have repaired their father\/son relationship with him at such a young age?<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam struggled to come up with an sufficient explanation so that his father would understand how remorseful he was then, and now, and how he had finally swallowed his damnable eleven-year old pride so as to not cause his father to hurt, again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I finally went to bed that night, Hoss came into my room, he couldn\u2019t sleep\u2026 he\u2019d heard what I said\u2026 how could he not.\u201d Adam ruefully shook his head back and forth. \u201cThankfully he didn\u2019t understand the word; all he knew was he was mad at me\u2026 that I\u2019d made his Ma cry. He told me what a good mother she was, the only mother he\u2019d ever known. She helped him when he\u2019d skinned his knees or was hurt by the taunting of some of the children when the family was at the post. He loved her because she loved him, and you. Hoss told me that she even loved me, but I was too stubborn to accept her love.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat listening to his eldest, and watched as it appeared that Adam was truly reliving those memories.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was Hoss who made me realize that I was in the wrong. If I remember, you knew that Marie and I had argued while you were gone on that cattle buying trip.\u201d Adam looked to his father for confirmation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I knew you had argued, but not to the extent in which it went.\u201d Ben leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees, he raised the journal to express his condemnation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter thinking what Hoss said, I knew I was wrong. I was still mad and thought\u2026 it doesn\u2019t matter what I thought, anyway\u2026 I couldn\u2019t sleep. I knew what I needed to do, so I went to your\u2026 the bedroom the two of you shared. I heard Marie crying. I realized how much I had hurt her\u2026 I knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for permission.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, hear me out\u2026 please. Marie was packing to leave.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave?\u201d Ben gasped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was tossing her clothing into several bags, one on the bed and another on a chair. Pa\u2026 When she turned to face me, I felt horrible\u2026 You\u2019d told me how to think before I spoke\u2026 how words spoken in anger could never be taken back\u2026 I realized that night why. Marie was going to leave\u2026 because of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam hung his head in shame, guilt\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat back in his chair, wishing to feel anything other than the cold pull from the pit of his stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI remember asking her what she was doing\u2026 She just stared at me.\u201d Adam leaned forward, mimicking his father\u2019s earlier posture. \u201cShe said that she loved you too much to be able to stay. That her life back in New Orleans was more preferable than staying here and having to live with me under the same roof, that at least back there…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBack there what?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat she could return to her home because her past had been vindicated by an honorable man, while here\u2026 her reputation was besmeared by callous women and ignorant children who only spread rumors and innuendos because they were cruel and petty, and needed to hurt other people in order to feel good about themselves.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was right\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she was. I didn\u2019t feel good about myself as I stood there. I begged her to stay, that I was sorry for what I\u2019d said. I think that was the first time since Inger died that I cried. I\u2026 begged her to not leave you\u2026 or Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut not for yourself\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe asked me that too\u2026 I told her I didn\u2019t think she\u2019d want to stay for me, I didn\u2019t deserve for her to stay on my behalf\u2026 I\u2019d been so malicious to her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Earlier, as Ben had read Marie\u2019s journal, he contemplated the reasons why\u2026 why the argument. He\u2019d thought long and hard about why it happened. There was only one reason he could comfortably accept, \u201cI\u2019ve sat here tonight asking myself why\u2026 why would my son do this? How could my son do this? The only answer I could come up with was that I believe you didn\u2019t want to get hurt again, should something happen to Marie. And once you knew who she was, you used your belief in Jean\u2019s stories as a reason to push her away so you wouldn\u2019t have to love her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right\u2026 At first I was jealous that you had married again and thought that she\u2019d take you away from me\u2026 But after I found out she was the woman Jean had spoke of\u2026 I was mad. I felt I needed to protect you from the hurt Jean had suffered.\u201d Adam looked up to his father, \u201cWe talked for a long time that night, talked as best she could with me not yet being twelve years old and what she thought I could understand. She tried to explain how she had never been unfaithful to her first husband.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know the story. It all came out after I met Marie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 She said she was mortified, and could never have been unfaithful to her husband, as a Catholic she believed in the sanctity her marriage vows. She explained that they didn\u2019t live in the best part of New Orleans and that she never had anyone who cared enough to want to protect her when it was necessary for Jean to be away. She said she\u2019d told her cousin of her fears, but he only brushed them aside, saying she had nothing to fear. After all, she was a deMarigny now.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe told me that maybe\u2026 if she\u2019d had someone she could really trust, back then, it wouldn\u2019t have happened. As we talked, she asked if I would be there to help protect her during your absences.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sat on the settee, thinking of those days and all the emotions he had suffered through, and the hurt he had caused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid she tell you that it was her cousin Eduard who had set her up?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cDid she tell you of how she woke to find a stranger in her bed? Oh nothing happened, but just the appearance was enough to drive Jean from their home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she didn\u2019t go into details, I was only eleven, but she said she knew it was Jean\u2019s mother, Madame deMarigny who had schemed to drive a wedge between her son and his wife. Pa, I was so ashamed of myself and what I had done\u2026 You\u2019d taught me better than to judge without hearing both sides of the story.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right. I am ashamed of what you did\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, that night, she told me that she did have a secret\u2026 one that she had wanted to share with you first, but felt that since I was the man of the house, at the time\u2026 I had a right to know so I could better protect her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe told you about our child,\u201d Ben stated as fact.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she told me she was pregnant\u2026 with Joe. Pa, I guess it was that night that I truly started to love her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarie wrote in her journal of what you just told me, but she never told me\u2026 of your agreement to keep it from me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, our agreement. I would suffer through one of your punishments for being disrespectful, but that you would never find out the true reason behind our argument nor the extent to which it went. For that, I am sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSitting here, I realize you had been prejudiced by Jean\u2019s experiences. I know you were uncomfortable those first few months that Marie was here. That night, she told me of your argument and during \u2018our talk\u2019 you corroborated that you had been disrespectful, I just never realized the magnitude of all that the two of you kept from me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI also remember that you blistered my backside well enough, at the time. I can\u2019t imagine what it would have been like if you\u2019d had known the truth.\u201d Adam looked down at his hands, clasped between his knees. \u201cPa, I truly am sorry, and I know that Marie understood, before you returned home, just how much I regretted my actions and my words.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do anything about it now, but heaven help you Adam\u2026 if I had known.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

An understanding passed between the two as the fire crackled in the hearth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, how do I mend this rift with Little Joe? How do I get him to accept that I did love Marie, and still do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think he needs to hear it from his mother. I\u2019ll let him read the remainder of this journal, where Marie wrote of how much she loved you when you realized that you could love her. I\u2019ll need to talk with him about what happened to cause the rift between Marie and Jean. He probably should also be told that Marie had another child, and that the baby died\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs for Marie\u2019s first baby, I remember overhearing you and Jean talking, and he mentioned there was another child\u2026 I guess I never gave any other thought to what might have happened to the baby…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarie was ill for some time after giving birth, and when she finally recovered, Madame deMarigny informed her the baby had died of fever when the boy was only a few days old.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat must have been heartbreaking for her\u2026 To have lost her husband in such a manner and then to lose a child, without ever having the chance to hold him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019ll now understand why Marie was always so overly protective of you and Hoss, and then Little Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew she was, but thought it was just something all mothers went through. But I will say it made me feel special when she\u2019d let me watch Joe while she helped Hop Sing,\u201d Adam explained. \u201cPa, before you let Joe read the rest of her journal, I\u2019d like the chance to work this out with him…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded, agreeing to allow Adam to the chance to restore the bond between brothers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have read it thoroughly? Haven\u2019t you, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded, \u201cTo a point.\u201d He also knew there were probably some passages that he would prefer to keep from his youngest, but secrets had already harmed this family. \u201cI guess I\u2019ll need to keep Joseph close so I can explain the situations as he reads about them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about the other journals?\u201d Adam asked, seeing four others sitting stacked on the round table next to his father\u2019s leather chair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThese are for my eyes only.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded in understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 6 – <\/strong>Mending the Rift<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had banked the fire before he picked up the journals and looked to the door before he headed for the staircase, \u201cGood night son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNight, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam thought on what his father said, and he agreed with the reason why he had acted as he had that evening so long ago. Jean had been his friend, someone who he could talk to when his father wasn\u2019t there. And Jean had treated him as an adult, not a child. Why wouldn\u2019t he believe Jean\u2019s words regarding his wife; a child would never dream others could be so deceitful or spiteful.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a child, he had not truly understood the implications of the events that drove the wedge between Jean and Marie, but now, as a man, he knew how cruel his words and actions had been that night.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam waited until long after he heard the door to his father\u2019s bedroom close before he prepared to leave the house. He had a lot to make up to his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Sport twitched his hears to and fro before he nickered lowly in response to something only he heard. Adam looked up from where he had been dozing in the saddle when his horse stopped.\u00a0\u00a0 The moon shown through the trees, illuminating the white of the pinto tethered where Adam hoped he would be.<\/span><\/p>\n

The older brother stepped from his horse and allowed his guilt to wash over him; his youngest brother lay on the ground, arms wrapped across his chest at the foot of his mother\u2019s tombstone. Adam pulled his bedroll from behind his saddle and unfurled it before placing it over the still form. Quietly he returned to Sport and pulled down the canvas sack containing a coffee pot and a small frying pan, along with provisions for coffee and flapjacks for breakfast.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dawn was painting pink fringes in the eastern sky as Adam waited for Joe to wake. He\u2019d set up a small campfire and had coffee brewing; he planned to wait until his brother woke before starting breakfast.<\/span><\/p>\n

Alone with his thoughts, he sipped his coffee and prayed that his brother would accept what he had to say. The feeling of nausea had long left, but the back of his head was still tender from where he had struck the hitching rail the previous afternoon. A slight headache hid behind his eyes; he closed them as he sat in quiet contemplation.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam opened his eyes at hearing boots scuffing the ground, he saw his brother in the first throes of waking. Blanket cast aside, arms stretched out, legs in motion, and yawning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Quietly he walked to the fire, filled a second cup and held it out to his brother and greeted, \u201cMorning, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes snapped wide open; his anger still evident.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo away,\u201d Joe growled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet, not until we talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t got nothing to say to you,\u201d Joe retorted as he sat up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine, then you can listen to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe batted away the coffee cup; the contents quickly soaked into the ground, before he stood to his feet and looked around.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Cochise?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWith Sport,\u201d Adam answered, he’d taken the time to move the two horses to ensure his brother would stay to listen to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s my horse?\u201d Joe angrily asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, we need to talk. I need to explain to you what happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to hear any more of your lies; I know you hated my mother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood in front of his brother, hands clenched tightly into fists.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t hate your mother,\u201d Adam answered as he stepped back and sat down on the log he had rested against while waiting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow you\u2019re calling my mother a liar?!\u201d Joe huffed.<\/span><\/p>\n

“No, I\u2019m saying that I was a petulant child, who was jealous of a beautiful woman, and what she represented.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“Tell me where my horse is!\u201d Joe answered, looking around, and growing frustrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot until you let me explain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to listen to you,\u201d announced Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 you don\u2019t have to\u2026 but I\u2019d like for you to,\u201d Adam calmly answered, in contrast to his mercurial brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, so you can twist around your words?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, so I can eat a healthy dose of humble pie. Please Joe, sit down. Let me fix you a cup of coffee. I also brought fixings for flapjacks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Moodily, Joe accepted the coffee and watched as his brother made breakfast. It angered him that he was willing to sit there, but his father\u2019s words kept coming back to him, \u201cYou have to know both sides of the story before you can make a decision; especially a decision with serious ramifications.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Once dishes were washed and put back in the canvas sack, the brothers sat across the fire from each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t know that Marie kept a journal, so he didn\u2019t know that they were in the bottom of that box.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s obvious,\u201d Joe snorted as he leaned back and folded his arms across his chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa read some of her journal last night, and let me say that he was just as appalled at my actions as you were.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I guess you need to understand what it was like before Marie came\u2026 \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sullenly listened.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was just the three of us, and Jean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho was John?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam decided to forgo correcting is brother\u2019s pronunciation, \u201cJean was your mother\u2019s first husband. Pa said he\u2019d tell you what he felt you needed to know about that time in Marie\u2019s life, but what I can tell you is that things happened\u2026 things that were beyond the control of either of them. Jean came out west to get away from his family\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know how he feels,\u201d Joe interrupted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe met and he came to work for us\u2026 and he became a good friend of mine. He told me some of his life, from when he lived in New Orleans, and I overheard him and Pa talking about his past, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026 you eavesdropped on Pa?\u201d Joe asked, amazed at Adam\u2019s confession.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKind of hard not to. This one time, Hoss and I were supposed to be sleeping and they were talking by the camp fire.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t feel it was proper to tell of that night\u2019s events, he felt it should be up to their father, but he did want Joe to know more of the story. \u201cJean was killed in a freak accident a few months later. Pa said as Jean was dying he professed how he was still in love with his wife and asked Pa to be the one to tell her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe left Hoss and I with the Michaelsons while he traveled to New Orleans to try to find Marie deMarigny to tell her that her husband\u2019s dying words were to profess is love for her, and also that she was now a widow.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen he returned home, he\u2019d been gone for about four months; he told us we had a new mother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you didn\u2019t like her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat back, his bad mood returned when Adam shook his head, no.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I didn\u2019t like her, but I was jealous.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou jealous? You don\u2019t have any emotions!\u201d Joe retorted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI do, I just don\u2019t wear them openly on my sleeves,\u201d Adam honestly answered. \u201cThe argument your mother and I had, happened the night that I found out Marie had been Jean\u2019s wife. I know it\u2019s not easy to understand, but I was there when Pa buried Inger, and I can only imagine his pain in burying my own mother. But Jean had spoken of the hurt that Marie had inflicted , and I didn\u2019t want her to hurt my father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother would never hurt my father,\u201d Joe replied, using the possessive phrase, as Adam had.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot intentionally. And neither would I. I thought I was protecting Pa. But I let my mouth overrun what Pa had always tried to teach us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cImagine that, the great Adam Cartwright spoke without thinking,\u201d Joe taunted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGuess you can say that, it runs in the family,\u201d Adam attempted to lighten the mood.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe snorted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, believe me\u2026 by the end of the night, I had ate a large piece of my pride by apologizing to Marie. I\u2019m not sure Pa would appreciate me telling you, but she was planning to leave. She was packing when I entered their room.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo! My mother would\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Adam almost shouted. \u201cI had hurt her, I mean I didn\u2019t think how she would react to my anger and I had wanted to lash out at her. But my words contained more hurt than I realized. Hoss told me how mad he was because I\u2019d made his ma cry. He told me the good things she did for him. Hoss said she loved all of us, even me. But in my stubbornness\u2026 Just the same way that what you read hurt you and you ran away, my hurtful words were driving her away from Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s heart raced after hearing his brother\u2019s words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe. I thought I was protecting Pa, but my actions were going to cause him an even greater hurt. Had Marie left, we would have never known about you. You would have been born and possibly raised in New Orleans.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI understand you wanting to protect Pa, but I don\u2019t understand how you would have never known about me,\u201d Joe replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarie told me that night that she was pregnant, she had only found out earlier that day. Looking back, I guess that was why she was at Jean\u2019s grave. To let him know how much she loved our father, and that their love\u2026 a product of their love was\u2026 you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut she didn\u2019t leave\u2026 I was born here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she didn\u2019t leave. I guess her love for Pa, and Hoss, and even me, was stronger than my anger. I never really hated her, I just was an angry boy and I lashed out verbally. From that night forward, life at home changed. She really did love me, and I really did love her. I wanted to protect her\u2026 and you. But I will tell you, my actions of being disrespectful earned me a tanning of a life time. I had to wait for Pa to come home, and waiting those three days was almost as bad as the actual tanning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m surprised Pa let you live\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t know the extent of our argument until a few hours ago. I\u2019m thankful that Pa feels I\u2019m too old for a trip to the woodshed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shook his head. \u201cMarie and I agreed that this was between the two of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about me?\u201d Joe asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019m too old in Pa\u2019s eyes\u2026 I decked you pretty good. Are you alright?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will be, a few days of taking it easy and a couple of weeks of light duty\u2026 according to Paul Martin.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds like I\u2019m going to be taking over some of your chores\u2026\u201d Joe quietly answered, ashamed of his actions the day before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome, but not all. Don\u2019t worry little brother, I\u2019ll stand by you, after all, had I not acted as I had all those years ago\u2026 your mother wouldn\u2019t have found it necessary to write of it in her journal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The brothers sat in quiet reflection of what had happened, now and so long ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe I am truly sorry for the hurt I caused Marie and I\u2019m sorry that you had to find out about it in such a manner\u2026 I hope you can find it in yourself to someday forgive me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly if you can forgive me\u2026\u201d Joe responded. \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t hate you\u2026 I guess that was my hurt talking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, just as I could never hate your mother. When a person hurts as bad as we both did, we want to dish out and we say things that we know will hurt the most.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Both brothers mutually agreed and smiled at each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready to go home?\u201d Adam asked as the sun rose fuller into the morning sky.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood and gathered the blanket his brother had placed on him during the night. He walked over to where Adam sat, and plopped down on the ground. He answered, \u201cNo, not yet. Would you tell me more about my mother? Some of the good memories?\u201d He stretched the blanket over their legs since the morning sun had yet to fully disperse the chill of the night.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam wrapped his arm around his brother and pulled him close.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 7 \u2013 Fathers and Sons<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI go back China!\u201d Hop Sing declared after fixing a second meal with only two people in attendance at the table. \u201cI cook, I clean, no one respect all I do!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Hop Sing, you know I love your cookin\u2019. Ya cain\u2019t leave us,\u201d Hoss pleaded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I\u2019m sure Adam and Joseph\u2026\u201d the opening and closing of front door stopped Ben\u2019s words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomething smells delicious,\u201d Adam announced before he came around the corner and into Ben\u2019s field of vision.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing Ben\u2019s expression, Adam nodded and then canted his head to indicate the answer to the worried father\u2019s unvoiced question was right behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing was said about the events from the day before while they were eating lunch, to which Hoss was eternally grateful; however, he knew that would not be the case once the table was cleared.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing,\u201d Joe began to speak, \u201cthank you for holding lunch for us. I\u2019m sorry I caused Adam to be late.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing no cook for own health. Hop Sing cook so boy grow up big and strong, be like brothers. Next time, be on time.\u201d The Oriental curtly nodded his head for emphasis.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joe, next time, please\u2026 be on time,\u201d encouraged Ben as he refilled his coffee cup and then motioned for his sons to follow him into the great room.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss sat comfortably on the settee, his left ankle resting across his right knee, his left arm stretched casually across the back of the piece of furniture. He looked on as Adam attempted to situate himself in the blue chair that had once belonged to Marie. Joe fidgeted, trying to get comfortable at the other end of the settee, only to think of what was to come and shifted his seat in nervous anticipation. Ben settled into his leather chair and set his coffee cup and saucer aside.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben cleared his throat and cast his eyes on his oldest. \u201cHow are you feeling today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d Adam\u2019s hand involuntarily moved to rub his jaw.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWishin\u2019 you had taken some of Doc\u2019s powders with ya?\u201d Hoss asked sincerely, yet his eyes shown with mirth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, a slight oversight on my part. But the good news is I\u2019m no worse for wear,\u201d answered Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShould we call Doc Martin out?\u201d Hoss asked. He also remembered the conspiratorial threat the doctor had made towards extending Joe\u2019s restrictions instead of letting him resume normal activities six weeks post surgery.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t believe that is necessary,\u201d Ben answered as he had closely observed both his sons to determine if one of the hands should be sent for Paul.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry about yesterday. I already apologized to Adam. I really am sorry,\u201d Joe blurted out, unable to wait for his father to address him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd why are you sorry?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor my actions yesterday. For losing my temper and fighting Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBrother no fight brother!\u201d Hop Sing challenged from the dining room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you\u2019re right,\u201d Joe answered as he looked to the small man before facing his father and saying, \u201cI sucker punched him. I didn\u2019t give him a chance to defend himself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Ben asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his oldest brother, \u201cAdam said you read Momma\u2019s journal\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat is not a reason to attack your brother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing what his father wanted, Joe continued, \u201cI was mad when I read what Momma wrote\u2026 Adam always had said things that I thought were nice about Momma, and here Momma said otherwise. Momma said Adam hated her and he called her a\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, well, I know how far you read into her journal. But you stopped there, you didn\u2019t continue to understand everything that happened afterwards, did you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo sir,\u201d Joe looked to his feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere are a few more passages in your mother\u2019s journal that I will allow you to read, under my supervision, just so you know the truth. I want you to read for yourself that Adam and Marie resolved their differences.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, I know that\u2026 now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you?\u201d Ben inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam told me\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI pray that this argument is over?\u201d Ben looked from his oldest to his youngest, both nodding in agreement. But somehow Ben knew there were still guilty feelings to be resolved between the two.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice had taken on a child-like quaver.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam said Momma had been married before\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, your mother was married to a man who became a friend of mine, only I had never met her until after his death.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan you tell me about him, and more about Momma?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll explain what I feel you have a need to know, later tonight. Right now, I think you have some chores to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah, mine and Adam\u2019s\u2026\u201d Joe stood; he hesitated before turning from his father and heading to the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll help ya Shortshanks,\u201d Hoss offered as he pulled himself from the settee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMe too, little buddy,\u201d Adam answered using the term of affection he hadn\u2019t used towards Joe since before he\u2019d left for college.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d Joe offered as his brothers surrounded him, one on either side.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

The brothers headed for the door to gather their hats, Ben raised his hand to hide the humor he found in hearing his sons converse among themselves, \u201cJust be thankful I didn\u2019t tell Pa I was sorry for behaving like my older brother here, acting without thinking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s normal for you,\u201d Adam jested as he shouldered into his youngest brother, \u201cBesides, I had a better excuse.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah?\u201d Hoss encouraged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was only eleven at the time. Joe\u2019s five years older than I was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

With that, Adam quickly left the house followed just as fast by his brothers.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Ben know boys\u2019 hurt and not yell at them,\u201d Hop Sing offered as he refilled the coffee cup. \u201cHurt not go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but working together will continue to heal the rift between them. And Hoss will make sure they behave themselves.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell Lit\u2019le Joe about mother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“Some, but not all. He doesn\u2019t need to know all of it; just enough to instill in him that we were a happy family and that she was truly loved.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMissy Cartwright was loved, and missed,\u201d Hop Sing spoke before turning to the kitchen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, she is missed,\u201d Ben replied as he wiped a hand across his eyes. He wondered how Madame deMarigny could still inflict pain on those he loved; all because of her jealousy. She had been jealous of the woman who stole her son\u2019s heart. He couldn\u2019t believe the woman\u2019s actions still bore consequences some twenty years after the fact. Ben remembered Jean\u2019s words about a devil in disguise and envisioned Jean\u2019s mother\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018I guess sometimes, the \u2018what could have been\u2019<\/em> can be worse than reality. Had she been a loving and compassionate mother, as Marie had been, Jean never would have traveled out here, to his death. I never would have traveled to New Orleans to inform Marie. We would never have met, never have fallen in love, never married\u2026 we wouldn\u2019t have had a child. I guess that\u2019s my silver lining\u2026 In addition to Adam and Hoss, I have Joseph.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

~The End<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Author\u2019s Notes<\/strong>: This story started as a response to a Seedling Challenge, to use Devil in Disguise in a story. The prompt inspired the scene of young Hoss hiding under the wagon and the ensuing conversations. My writing muse came up with the surrounding story, incorporating this scene as a flashback.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tags: Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, jealousy, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0Learning bits and pieces of the past enforces a difficult lesson regarding thinking before one acts, and the need to hear both sides of a story before reacting. With the family poised to fall apart, can harmony be restored?\u00a0 <\/p>\n

Rating: T (16,235 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":3657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1009,23,41,30,29,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-brothers","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-prequels","category-halloween","category-challenges","wpcat-1009-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-30-id","wpcat-29-id","wpcat-40-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3177,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Adam-and-Joe-riding.jpg?fit=400%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48247,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=48247","url_meta":{"origin":9679,"position":0},"title":"BTR Sourdough Starters #18 – October 2019 (by BZTrailriders)","author":"BZTrailRiders","date":"October 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: It's October and time for some chilling tales. 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