81. Back on the Ponderosa 

“Three hours and fifteen minutes.” Adam closed the lid of his watch and put it back into his pocket. “And we had fairly tired horses and the pack horses to drag along, as well. We’ll be quicker still if we start from the lake on fresh horses.”

“We’re not quite there.” Lilyah used the break to rearrange her veils and sort through her robes. “It might take another five minutes to reach the ranch house.”

“Still not the four hours my father claims it takes,” Adam retorted not without some satisfaction.

A fine smile played around her lips. “He probably took the time on his own horse.”

Adam started laughing. “That would explain it!” Still laughing, he stretched out his hand to touch her shoulder. “How do you feel, love?”

Lilyah understood the question. It was the first time in a long time that they didn’t approach the Ponderosa ranch house with a heavy foreboding, with the anticipation of trouble ahead, with shadows looming everywhere. Smiling, she reached for his hand. “I feel good.”

“So do I.” He gave her hand a warm squeeze before he clicked his tongue to set the mare into motion.

The first thing they saw when riding into the yard was Little Joe leaping out of the house.

“Hey, Pa, Hoss! Pa! Our hermits are back from the mountains!” The young man ran up to them, laughing all over his face. “Good for you! Hop Sing would’ve had your hides had you been an hour later!”

“Not only Hop Sing!” Hoss followed with giant steps. “That’s a fine dinner he’s holdin’ from us in his ole kitchen and I’m starvin’! Hey, Lily, welcome home!” He had long since reverted to Joe’s version of her name. “You’re lookin’ mighty lovely today!”

“Yeah!” Joe agreed. “Much too lovely for that ugly old brother of ours!”

“Yeah!” Hoss squinted. “Hey Joe, how come the crookiest old spooks always end up with the sweetest young ladies? Dadburnit, I jest don’t get it!”

Adam had dismounted, looking over his shoulder with his hands on his saddle. “Seems to me like you two need to get cut down in size a bit, eh?”

Joes green eyes were glittering with mischief. “Yeah, Hoss, I really think he should’ve married Miss Abigail instead!”

“Yeah, Miss Abigail!” Hoss guffawed. “Now that was a match made in heaven, warn’t it, Joe?”

“Miss Abigail?” Lilyah raised her head. “Adam, you’ve never mentioned an Abigail!”

“Uhm…” Adam began. “That’s a long story…”

“She was the love of his life!” Joe screeched, already on the verge of a laughing fit. “They looked so perfect together!”

“Yeah!” Hoss roared out laughing. “T’was like them were made for each other!”

“Oh, that does it!” Adam whirled about to grab for the first brother he could get, only to be seized by the second, and within moments the finest brotherly brawl had broken lose, all three of them pushing, knocking and shoving each other around – and still laughing all the same.

“Break it up, boys, break it up!” Ben ‘Cartwright came from the house, laughing, pulling his eldest from the fray for a heartfelt greeting before he turned to Lilyah who had just slid off her saddle. His eyes were friendly. “Welcome home, Lilyah – and you can take my word for it that Miss Abigail Jones has never been of any competition for you.”

“Oh, I believe it.” Lilyah chuckled. The laughing faces of the three brothers told her enough. “I’d still love to hear that story.”

“We’ll tell it to you!” Joe attempted to take her arm, while Hoss closed in on her other side, but their obvious plan to quickly disappear into the house with her was crossed.

“After you’ve unloaded the horses!” Ben pointed unmistakeably to the two pack horses and turned to his eldest again. “It’s good to have you here, son!”

“Good to be here, Pa!” Adam pulled the two instruments from one of the pack horses and shouldered them both. “I hope Bill told you we wouldn’t arrive before the evening.”

“I’ll put Mariah in the pasture with Chai.” Lilyah turned to the mare.

“Wait!” Adam hastened to take his saddle bags and unfastening his girth, pulling his heavy saddle from Mariah’s back. “I’ll put it away later.” He threw the saddle bags over his other shoulder and grabbed for a travel bag, while his father loaded himself with bags and satchels.

Minutes later they passed the door of Adam’s room, with an equally packed Joe in tow.

“Hoss has already moved in,” Ben remarked in a tone located somewhere between amusement and reproach. “I would’ve preferred had he waited…”

“I told him to go ahead,” Adam replied. “He always liked that room.”

“And your new room is here now!” Little Joe squashed himself past them to disappear into a room at the back end of the house. “Lilyah’s new room is right next to it.”

Ben nodded his head, his chin pointed to a door in the hallway. “And that’s her door!”

“Pa, she’s my wife!”

“Preliminary wife!” Ben corrected. “Preliminary! Until Sunday!”

Adam opened his mouth, but closed it again, regarding his little brother’s stealthy wink and hidden pointing to his new room’s far wall, and he remembered. The two rooms were connected through an indoor.

Ben, of course, pretended to neither have noticed that indoor nor seen the small smirks his sons exchanged as he unloaded the luggage onto the carpet. And he didn’t pay any attention to the fact that there was a much broader bed in the room now, after the old one hadn’t survived Hoss’s drastic testing for its sturdiness.

* * *

“Hop Sing, this was so delicious!” Lilyah exclaimed. “I’ll have a long way to go to even get anywhere near to this with my cooking.”

“Oh, Missy not wolly!” The cook shone with delight. “Easy going, step by step, and Missy will get bettel and bettel with time. And Hop Sing always glad to help!” He graciously nodded his head. “Family have coffee in living loom?”

“That would be perfect, Hop Sing!” Ben got up. “Oh, Lilyah – your Uncle Ali has received your letter and replied to it.” He hurried to his desk, already starting to laugh on the way to it.

“So fast?” Lilyah beamed as Adam led her to the sofa, yet she was a tad bewildered by Ben’s laughing.

Adam was, too. “What’s so funny about it?”

Ben came back, still laughing while holding a piece of paper in his hands. “Oh, this is not your uncle’s letter.” He chuckled. “It seems your Uncle Ali has accepted my offer to send his letter to my friend in Boston to have him telegraph it to Virginia City and save the long time it would take with the Overland Mail. The same way we sent him yours!” Ben let himself fall into his red armchair, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “But the letter he sent to my friend in Boston was written in Arabic! Poor Emmett couldn’t make heads or tails of it!”

Everybody started laughing, and Lilyah shook her head, giggling. “Oh Allah! That’s Uncle Ali for you!” She turned to Adam, squeezing his hand. “You’ll like him.”

“I’m sure I will,” he replied softly.

“But he does speak English, doesn’t he?” Joe scratched his head. “We sent Lily’s letter along in English…”

“Oh, he does!” Ben reached out for his tobacco pouch. “He didn’t forget to add a kind note in English for my friend, to thank him for his efforts. But there was something more he’d added, and that was something Emmett could identify.” He began to stuff his pipe and looked at Lilyah. “It seems you and Adam have first class tickets for a steamer across the Atlantic – you and both your horses.”

“Hey, now that’s grand!” Both Joe and Hoss laughed, in full-hearted joy for the couple.

Ben’s laugh was a little less happy at that, but his eyes were still warm when he added, “My friend has put everything in an envelope, along with the schedules of the steamer, and sent it with the mail. His telegram here arrived last week already, so I think it might take about three weeks for the letter and the tickets to arrive – depending on how swift the Overland can travel with the war farther south.”

“But… but… wouldn’t a ship from San Francisco be better?” Joe threw in. “How do you get to the Atlantic?”

“Same way Lilyah got here, only the other way round.” Adam smiled, his hazel eyes bright with content. “We’ll ride to St. Louis and take the train from there.”

“A ship from San Francisco would take too long, Joe,” Lilyah explained. “We shouldn’t put the horses on a ship for any longer than is absolutely necessary.”

“Oh, sure,” Joe’s eyebrows had climbed up. “You just ride to St. Louis. Why do I ask, anyway, people do it everyday, riding there, I mean. After all, it’s just a stone’s throw to St. Louis.”

“It’s still better than travelling with the stage coach.” Lilyah took a sip from her coffee. “I’ve watched the people that were crammed in that awful, rattling thing when I came here. Every time when they got a chance to get out of it, they were moaning and complaining, all wrinkled up and sweated all over, rubbing their stiff and hurting limbs and cursing the driver, the dust, the stage coach and the whole world. I could never understand why they simply didn’t ride when they had to travel that far, and use the stage coach for the luggage only.”

“She’s right!” Adam nodded his agreement. “I’ve been to St. Louis more than once, and every time I got out of that stage coach I felt every single bone creaking in my body. And I’ve always asked myself why on earth I didn’t take the horse.”

Ben couldn’t help a chuckle. “Maybe because the stage coach saved you about two weeks of travel time?”

“But why the hurry?” Lilyah asked. “Arab people don’t rush like that. We either take horses or the caravan, and we arrive just as well. Besides, it is such beautiful scenery all throughout that journey. I so often regretted that I didn’t have time for a closer look, but had to hasten to catch up with that stage coach not to get lost.”

“We don’t have to hasten this time, Lil.” Adam’s hand lovingly glided over her back and shoulders. “We’ll send the luggage to a hotel in St. Louis and take all the time we want. And you won’t get lost with me by your side.”

Lilyah’s smile deepened as her eyes sank into his and the wish to cuddle up closer to him became overwhelming. It would be a wonderful ride – a ride through Adam’s country, side by side, together.

Ben puffed his pipe and watched, with conflicting feelings inside. There was a deep gladness to see his son so happy, an even deeper gladness that there finally were no more barricades between them, but there also was the sadness that the farewell he had feared was coming nearer and nearer.

* * *

The next few days before the wedding went by in a flight. Adam was underway almost from sunup to sundown, sorting out all his businesses, preparing for his long absence, and while he was at it, he had an eye on the Ponderosa’s businesses as well, working out a new contract with yet another construction firm in Virginia City, in addition to the one with Natty Turner. His advice regarding the prospering chances provided by Virginia City’s renovation boom proved out to be dead right, the saw mills were buzzing with work and everybody worked with Ponderosa lumber. Whatever losses the ranch had suffered when Ben had finally sold off large parts of his herds for less than what they would have brought when fed and fat, they were more than made up for by the surging lumber business.

And Ben Cartwright was a fairly happy man when watching those sizable profits in his books. He also had kept all the Texas Longhorns that had survived the poisoning attack, had divided them equally between the thinned out herds on his Northern and Southern pastures where the remaining animals would now have feed enough to last through to the badly desired late fall rains. He could continue with his plans to breed a sturdier brand of cattle, and once this dreadful drought was over, the Ponderosa herds would florish again.

“Lilyah!” Ben closed the ledger he had been studying and got up from behind his desk as he saw the young woman coming down the staircase. “Care to share a cup of coffee with me? I’ve just made a new pot.”

“Oh, I’d love to…”

“What’s the matter, girl?” Ben stepped closer. “You look worried…” His gaze caught the letters in her hands. “Something to do with those letters?”

“No, no…” A small smile stole across her face. “It’s just… I can’t find my red robe.”

“Your red robe? Maybe Hop Sing has taken it to the wash.”

“No, I’ve asked him already. The upper wraps and veils are still there, but the main garments and the underdresses are all gone.”

Ben shrugged his shoulder. “You gave a lot away to Ruby and Esma…”

“Not this one.” She shook her head. “It’s Adam’s favorite, along with the brown-golden one. I wouldn’t give his favorites away.”

“Maybe you forgot it on the promontory,” Ben suggested. “You should ask Esma when she comes tomorrow.”

“Yes…” Her fine brow was still crinkled. “It’s funny, I can’t remember packing it up, actually, I haven’t worn it in weeks. But I would’ve loved to wear it now for Adam.”

“But not to your wedding!” Ben motioned her to the sofa. “As pretty as it is, the color is a bit off for such a day.”

“Oh, I know. I think I’ll wear the light creme colored dress.” Lilyah smiled. “I’ve got a few white-golden veils, that will be the closest to a white dress I can get. Oh, Ben…” There still was an almost imperceptible pause before his name. “Would you mail those letters for me, please? And not tell Adam?”

“Of course, but… secrets before your husband?” he asked with mock severity.

Lilyah blushed a little and dropped her eyes, but she still smiled. “No, not really – he will know when the answers are as I expect.”

Ben’s curiosity got the better of him and he scanned over the addresses. “France, Egypt, England… the Cavanaugh Stud in Newmarket, England?”

“I’ll explain…” Her eyes fell on the coffee pot that stood on the table, simmering on a candle tray. “I’ll just get us two cups.”

“I’ve got mine on the desk.” Ben went back to his desk to get it. “Don’t forget to bring your sugar from the kitchen.”

Before long they both were seated in the living-room, he in his red armchair and she on the sofa close to him, sipping their coffees.

“You wanted to explain the secret of the letters,” Ben reminded and looked over the rose-colored dress she wore. It actually looked very pretty on her and its folds fell nicely as she sat there with her legs bent beneath her. Maybe he had gotten used to the Arab style.

Lilyah smiled to herself before she looked at him. “It’s not that much of a secret. All three letters are going to stud owners my father used to do business with. One is in Newmarket in England, one in Arnac-Pompadour in France, and one in Cairo in Egypt. All three were more than eager to buy colts and stallions from my father, from our most renowned lines, but he never sold them any, only horses from lesser lines…” She interrupted herself. “With the exception of Sheikh Mohammed in Cairo, of course, he got the colts he wanted. He’s Arab, after all. But I think he’d still love the one or other animal. He also gives as much importance to the fillies as to the colts, like all good Arab breeders. Europeans always think all they need is one good stallion, but it’s the real good mares that carry the lines. I know he would give a lot for a mare of the Bint-Haboub-line.”

“Of course…” Ben nodded his head and bit down a smile. He had already found out before that horse-breeding was a subject on which she could go on for quite a long while, as complicated as the Arab peculiarities might get for the uninitiated listener. “And you plan to sell them the horses they want now?”

“Not all they want…” She pursed her lips. “Just one fine colt each that they really want to have very badly, or two at most. With the exception of Sheikh Mohammed, of course, he can pick what he wants. I’ve offered him a mare of the Bint-Haboub-line.”

“He’s Arab, after all…” Ben surmised.

“Right.” She took another sip of her coffee.

“And what is the reason that you’re willing to sell them horses now – and particularly to those two European studs?” Ben asked tentatively. “The money?”

“No…” A fine smile played around her lips. “I wrote them that if they want to buy the colts, we’d deliver them personally, and want to be invited to have a look at their horses at the same time. Not that we would buy any, but of course I didn’t write that…” She paused, as if to contemplate if she could really let him in into her plans. “You see, Newmarket certainly cannot be far from London – England isn’t a terribly big country after all. And Arnac-Pompadour hopefully isn’t too far from Paris. Those are places that Adam longs so deeply to see. The Lyceum Theatre in London, the Montmartre and the Louvre in Paris, the Champs Elysees, all those places he talked about so often.”

Ben understood and his heart warmed. Somehow he just knew that she wouldn’t even think of selling any horses to far away studs if it weren’t to pursue her plan of fulfilling Adam’s dreams. With the exception of Sheikh Mohammed, perhaps. He was Arab, after all…

“And the pyramids in Egypt,” he finally said, musing. “I think Adam has read every book about them he could get his hands on.”

“Yes, I know…” She chuckled. “He knows more about Egypt than I do, and I’ve been there twice.”

“But wouldn’t those stud owners want to see any horses first before they buy them?”

She shook her head. “No. They all know our horses, they’ve been to our stud more than once. All they will look at are the lines, the pedigrees, the names of sires and dams they know. Shatam’s offsprings, or any horses of the Shameh- and Bint-Haboub-lines, because they are not only beautiful and fast, but also very big. Shatam was a giant, just like Chai is.”

“Giants…” Ben couldn’t help a smile. The black stallion wasn’t a particularly small horse, but certainly not a giant. Both Adam’s mare and Hoss’s Chubb were a good size above him.

“For Arabians,” Lilyah specified more precisely.

“Ah…” Ben dipped his head. “But why not tell Adam?”

“I’m not sure if it will all work out, and if all the owners will actually want to buy at this time. Those are expensive horses…” She hesitated and began to play with the fringes of a veil. “You see… Ben… Adam wouldn’t want to have any… advantages from any money coming from my side. He wouldn’t really feel comfortable, he wants to work for everything himself. But…” She raised a finger. “He has promised me that we’ll be partners – real partners – and that he will accept all the animals I own, including the horses, just as well as any other ones he would buy… or would have bought… and that he will help me to sort out my property in Morocco. And I’m sure he will be willing to help me and support me when it comes to selling any horses which would be important for the reputation of the lines…”

As touched as he was, Ben was on the verge of a laughing fit. She really had a fine plan cooked up! And the way she sat there, bashful and cheeky at the same time, convincing herself of her own plan, amused him even more.

“He still might look right through the clever plan,” he warned in a good-natured tone, his eyes laughing.

“I know,” Lilyah admitted. “But we sold horses to Europe and other countries before, and he knows that. It will make it a lot easier for him to just accept it, and enjoy what comes along the way.”

“Which just happens to be the Lyceum Theatre in London…” Ben chuckled.

“I hope.” Lilyah smiled. “And I hope he’ll find it in all the fog they’re told to have there.”

“Oh, when it comes to Shakespeare, Adam has a sixth sense,” Ben laughed. “He’ll find it with his eyes closed!”

Lilyah’s smile intensified. The idea alone of Adam finally entering the temple of his adored playwright – that was worth everything.

Ben watched her and his eyes became attentive. Adam had told him how much she longed for her own home, longed to finally settle down and have a house of her own. “You know those horse selling excursions will greatly prolong the duration of your travels,” he said slowly, with the awareness rising deep inside of him that she wasn’t the only one affected. “It might take a while longer until you two can start to build your house at the lake.”

“Yes, I know…” There was only the slightest trace of wistfulness in her smile before her eyes warmed again. She had long made her peace with it. “But you see, the lake won’t go away. We’ll have all our life to live there, but Adam might never again get the chance to see all those places.”

“You put me to shame, my child, you know that?” Ben leaned forward to put his hand on hers. “And Adam is a very lucky man to have found you!”

Lilyah’s heart warmed and she slowly put her hand on his.

A racket coming from the yard stirred them both and Ben got up, laughing. “That’ll be Hoss and Joe with the wedding decorations. You’ll see, we’ll make a palace of the Ponderosa!” His eyes were friendly on her. “And I’ll mail your letters. I’ve got to ride to Carson City this evening, they’ll go right away with the evening stage coach. And I won’t breathe a word to Adam!”

“Thank you, Ben!” She gratefully rose to her feet as the door flew open and Hoss and Joe noisily rumbled inside, carrying between them a large crate filled with all kinds of beautiful looking things.

* * *

Adam took a deep breath as he trotted into the yard of the Miller ranch and dismounted in front of the house. It was a call long overdue. Yet his heavy mood and silent worries he had harbored inside eased when the door opened and the old rancher came out, smiles all over his face.

“Adam! How nice of you to call. Come on in, I’ve just poured myself a hard-earned evening brandy!”

“Now that sounds good!” Adam slung his reins around the post and gave Mariah a pat. “Is there one for me, too?”

“What a question!” Henry Miller laughed. “Come in!”

Adam followed him into the house and smirked a little as he saw that Henry first had to shovel several cats from the sofa before he could offer his visitor a seat. There always had been cats on the Miller ranch, more than on any other ranch, but he had never seen any inside the house before. Frank hadn’t been very fond of the cats, and Adam had witnessed more than once that the young man had kicked one out of his way when his father wasn’t around. Just one of the things that had always prevented him from warming up to Frank Miller.

“Thanks, Henry.” He placed his hat beside him and watched amusedly as Henry removed a few more cats from his armchair to sit down himself. One of the displaced immediately jumped up again to secure itself a first class cuddle seat on the broad man’s lap.

“And I always thought you were predominantly raising cattle…”

“Aw…” Henry chuckled. “We’ve got a joint agreement here. I offer them a roof over their heads and some milk I can spare and they keep the place mouse-free.”

“A mouse’s gotta be suicidal to show its nose in here.” Adam raised his glass. “Cheers, Henry!”

“Cheers!”

“That’s a good brandy!” Adam took another swig and got serious again. “Henry, I’m awfully sorry about Frank.”

The old rancher blew a breath. “You should be the last one to feel sorry about anything.” His eyes rested kindly on the younger man. “And before you start on it, Adam – there is nothing I hold against your little lady. She did what she had to do to protect you – you should feel blessed and be proud to have such a woman.”

“I am.” Adam couldn’t suppress a little proud smile and dropped his eyes before he faced Henry again. “Still, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“So am I, a part of me at least.” Henry sighed. “But by far the largest part is sorry for what happened before. I should’ve known it sooner, Adam, I should’ve noticed, I should’ve done something. There were so many signs, so many hints…”

“Henry,” Adam cut in. “We’re all wiser in hindsight. Me too – as you say, there were hints, and I should’ve suspected him myself, but I never did.”

“But I was his father, Adam. I should’ve known what was brewing inside of him.”

Adam shook his head. “I think fathers are always the last ones to know, the last ones to notice. Maybe it’s because they will always see the small boy they once had, but who is long since gone.”

Henry’s broad fingers absent-mindedly stroked the cat on his lap that lolled around there purring in delight, stretching its little belly to rake in even more lovings. It was a strange sight, when the rugged old rancher had big, rough hands, hands that still could hold a bull by its horns and teach the critter a lesson or two.

“Maybe there’s some truth in it,” he finally said. “But those boys are still there, Adam. And a father will never stop feeling responsible, thinking what he might have done, should have done, to keep them from doing what they did.”

“No, Henry.” Adam’s voice was soft. “You might feel that way, but once the boy has become a grown-up man, there is no one responsible for him but himself, as hard as that might be for a father to accept. And Henry – I know how he grew up. He had every chance, every choice, everything a young man needed to have a good start in life. You did your part, and you did it darn well right. It was his choice what to make of it. A father cannot live his son’s life for him, as much as he might wish he could.”

Henry wearily nodded his head. “My mind says you’re right, but still…” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe he never was meant for a life out here. He might’ve been happier in the glittery tinsel world of San Francisco, like his mother.”

Adam hesitated. “I’ve seen him in San Francisco – I don’t think he would’ve gotten very old there, either. He lived like there was no tomorrow, I think every gambler there was after his hide. Henry, I’m sorry, I know how you’ve tried, but I don’t think there was anything you could’ve done.”

The old man silently stroked the cat. “But at least Frank tried to live on the ranch, later on. He at least tried…”

Adam sat silent. There wasn’t much he could say to it.

“Ah, come on!” Henry shrugged off his darkened mood. “We can’t change the past. How’s your father doing? Has he recovered from the losses of selling his stock?” The light was back in his eyes. “I’m afraid I’ve pretty much ruined his price, I’ve sold a hefty part of mine just weeks before him. Almost felt guilty about it.”

“Don’t.” Adam chuckled. “He should’ve sold them months before that.”

They had a short chat about the cattle and the dire need for rain in the autumn before Adam emptied his brandy and got up. “Gotta go now, I’m a tad late already – stay put, Henry, I’ll let myself out.” He turned to the door, but stopped. “Henry, I’m getting married on Sunday, on the Ponderosa. Lilyah and I would be pleased if you would come. It’s nothing big, just a small dinner with a few good friends.”

“I’d love to come, Adam, I really would.” Henry still rose to his feet, much to the cat’s displeasure, to usher his visitor to the door.

* * *