63. A New Morning 

Adam awakened from a sound sleep, with a faint notion of disbelief rising up inside of him before he had even half regained his senses. For the first time since his ordeal, his sleep had not been marred with bad dreams, had he not stirred feeling battered and beaten as if he had just broken down in the desert, his skin wasn’t clammy with cold sweat. His skin… there was a wonderful warmth, a gentle pressure against his body that seemed to caress his very inside, a silent breathing so close to him, velvety softness grazing his arm. He smiled… he had likely smiled in his sleep. His lips parted as the memory of the night came back, filling his whole consciousness with its images, its scent, its sensations. He savored the realization of her small body cuddled up next to his, her head nestled into his arm, her little hand resting at his chest, one of her legs touching one of his. For one heartbeat he stopped breathing, not daring to move an eyelid lest anything would wake her up, cause her to withdraw.

Slowly, very slowly, he moved his head, opening his eyes. His smile deepened as he gazed at her, sleeping so softly at his side, her face buried in the tousled mass of her hair like a little bird sleeping in its nest. Her eyes closed, her lashes resting on her cheeks, she smiled in her slumber. Adam swallowed as something very strong and powerful rose inside of him and he had to catch his breath. She was his. All his. Truly and forever his…

It took him an enormous effort to keep his chest from heaving too deep a breath, to suppress the overwhelming urge to pull her closer, to search her lips, to give in to the passion that threatened to flame up once again, nurtured by the memory of those precious moments in which they had been one.

One…

Adam listened into himself, enchanted by the echo of this one word resounding in his soul. One… And slowly, a slight wonderment mixed into his sentiment, bewilderment about what he could not find inside. Shouldn’t he have doubts? Nagging thoughts about if it had been right? Even regrets? Misgivings of what his father might say if he knew his son didn’t wait until he was legally married? Worries about damaging the honor of the woman he loved? Shame to have started their life together under the open skies in the wilderness? He cocked his head, his brow rising in surprise. There were no such thoughts. Not even thinking of the possibility of any such thoughts hiding inside brought any trace of them to light. There was a rare tranquility inside of him, he was at peace with himself.

His content grew even more as he focused on her sleeping face again. Lilyah was right – they had long been married. She had been his wife for a long time. Her ride through the desert, her desperate fight to save him – could there ever be a greater proof of love, a truer promise, a deeper bond? His eyes caressed every line in her face. He still could see a slight discoloration on her cheekbone, even though it had faded to near invisibility. Her eyebrow that had been cracked open still showed a little scar, disrupting the fine black arc of the brow. A thin white line crossing her upper lip betrayed the cut she had suffered there. Each one of these little wounds was a wedding ring on his finger. They would remain in his memory long after time had erased them from her skin.

Adam raised his hand, cautiously stroking over her hair with his fingertips, gently touching her temple to brush away a long lock. He watched her lids fluttering, noticed the movement at his skin as she shifted her body, waited in silent happiness until she finally opened her eyes. For one moment her glance was unfocused, still entangled in the webs of her sleep, but then she looked up to his face. He lost himself in the tenderness of those dark velvet eyes. So much love…

“Good morning…” His finger caressed her cheek, her lips.

“Good morning…” Lilyah couldn’t take her eyes off his face. He looked so peaceful, so content, so relaxed, there was a shine in his hazel eyes like she had never seen before. The brown rays in the greenish irises seemed to shimmer. She suddenly became aware of how close they lay together, how their bodies touched each other beneath the blankets. For the fragment of a heartbeat she held her breath, but then a smile softened her lips. It was good… it was all good just as it was. Her fingers softly ran through the hair on his chest, halting when they touched the crusts on the welts that the ropes had left there. She caressed the rough cuts so lightly that her fingertips barely touched them. They were healing. All his wounds were healing now.

Raising her eyes to his face again, she was silenced by the intense warmth she saw in them, silenced when his hands pulled her closer to him and his lips touched hers.

* * *

“You should take your medicine!” Lilyah determinedly made her way to the rock at the river bank on which Adam was sitting with his bare feet dangling in the water. Even though it was still fairly early in the morning, the heat was already stinging, hot enough that he hadn’t even put his shirt on yet, and the mild water was a refreshing comfort for his sore soles.

“Isn’t it truly a miracle, a phenomenon that most men won’t grasp until it’s too late?” He watched with knitted brows as she poured some of the thick stuff for him. “As soon as a little woman is transformed to a wife, the sweetest maiden, alas, once so humble and oh, so demure, turns into the fiercest tyrant!”

“Oh, it shouldn’t come that unexpectedly.” She proffered the cup to him with an innocent smile. “For as far as I remember, you lamented the plight and the chains already yesterday.”

Adam started laughing, with his eyes glittering and his shoulders shaking. “Well…” He gave her a sidelong glance while his laughter still twitched his lips. “A great many men have sought solace in the art of poetry when faced with the unspeakable plight that is the yoke of marriage, and… LIL!” He almost dropped the cup with the medicine when a big splash of water hit him.

“You’re babbling!” She meticulously dried her hand, cheeky triumph on her features. “Don’t drop the medicine!”

Adam pursed his lips, moving his feet. The river was calm at this place, with no dangerous undercurrents lurking in its depths. Indeed, it was very inviting. Suppressing a chuckle, he put the cup away and grinned as he watched her turning to the camp site.

“ADAM!!” Lilyah shrieked as she was suddenly lifted up, taken by complete surprise. “What are you… ooooh!” She gasped as he made two quick jumps right into the river; her initial attempt to get down immediately changed into desperate clasping to his neck. Luckily the water was shallow at this spot, barely reaching to a hand below his navel. Pulling up her legs, she wriggled and struggled to try and save herself from getting wet. “Adam… Adam, don’t!”

He made a few steps away from the shore, yet holding her high enough so she didn’t touch the water. Merely the seams of her underdress were swimming in the flood. “Why should I take this medicine all the time? It doesn’t taste very good. In fact, it’s downright awful!”

“It will give you back your strength! You told me that’s why Hoss packed it for you!”

“You mean my strength is in tatters and badly in need of this medicine?”

“Yes!” She shifted in his arms, holding onto him with all she had, trying to pull herself up on his shoulders. “Adam, go back to the shore! Your feet… there are sharp rocks in the river! You could hurt yourself!”

“Oh!” He raised his brow. “Yes… I guess you’re absolutely right. I really should take this medicine as I can feel very clearly now my strength is already leaving me. And I probably shouldn’t stand on my sore feet. They’re hurting.”

“Oh, Adam…” Lilyah realized with relief that he had stopped and didn’t move deeper into the water. “Go back to the shore! You can sit down there.”

“I haven’t taken my medicine yet.” He gave her a puppy look from under his brows. “I’m too weak.”

She started and her mouth fell open upon the sparkles exploding in his eyes. “Adam… no… no… Adam… ADAM!”

Adam burst out laughing, simply letting himself fall on his back. Yet in the big splash resulting, he took care to not let her slip away.

“Adam!! Oooooh! MY HAIR!” Struggling to her feet, she hit both her hands into the water, splashing as much of it on him as she could. “Oooooh! YOU! Youuuu… sheytan!!”

Adam laughed and splashed back, needing only one of his hands to match the amount of water she was able to shovel up. She kept on ranting and raving, about her hair, her dress, her shawl, her cheeks turning red with agitation, and still she couldn’t help herself but starting to laugh. Dodging another big splash of water, she squinted and aimed at the one spot where she knew she could get him.

“Lil, no!” Still laughing, Adam doubled over to save his ticklish belly. “Lil, that’s unfair! I’m sick and weak and…”

“Oooh, yes? All of a sudden, huh? Ooooh, you just wait!” Unperturbed, she kept on tickling him until they both fell in the flood, puffing and blowing when they came up, romping about like little children until they were panting with laughter and exhaustion.

“Oh, look! Look what you’ve done!!” Steadying herself with one hand at his shoulder, Lilyah remembered her protest, holding up her soaking wet shawl whose exuberant width had shrunk to a thin crumple. “Now look!!”

“I’m absolutely devastated,” Adam assured, barely keeping back the laughter at her fruitless attempts to unfold the crinkled fabric. Not only the shawl had lost its volume – her light silken underdress whose rich folds used to hide so well what was beneath stuck to her skin like a layer of paint, hiding nothing anymore. Her long hair floated in the water surrounding her. His eyes warmed as he gazed at her breasts that were just above the waterline. He couldn’t resist gingerly touching them, allowing his fingers to caress the soft flesh.

Lilyah lifted her eyes, saw the dreamy smile lingering on his lips, and she couldn’t keep her own hands from wandering up his chest. The shawl was all but forgotten as their lips met and his arms pulled her closer to himself. She clung to him with overwhelming emotion, her hands tousling his wet hair as their tongues explored each other’s mouths, in a kiss so passionate that it seemed to halt the flow of time.

“Adam…” she gasped, catching her breath while his lips still glided across her face. A little laugh rose in her bosom. “We’re soaking wet…”

“Ah, yah…” His brow crinkled. “Must have something to do with all that water here…” He kissed her nose, her cheeks, her brow, his hands tenderly rubbing her back beneath the waterline.

“You think so?” Her lips caressed his chin.

“I’m positive.”

They simultaneously started laughing, each one’s eyes lovingly resting on the other, both enjoying the soft draw from the river’s mild current. Adam caught a strand of her hair in the water and swirled it around his fingers, while she tried to retrieve her shawl that somehow had wound itself around Adam’s waist and shoulders.

“That’s my shawl…” Lilyah giggled and pulled at the crumpled accessory, using only one hand as her other clasped at his arm for support.

Adam chuckled and helped her unwind the piece. “Can you swim?”

“Of course… I mean… I don’t know… a little perhaps.” She gazed across the river. They still were at a spot where she could safely stand. “I’ve only been to grand-uncle Abu Mustafa’s swimming room a couple of times, with my aunts… I guess that was different…”

“Let’s see.” Adam took the shawl and swung it into a low hanging branch. “Come on, I’m with you and I’ll hold you.”

She looked up to him. His eyes still were twinkling and his smile had resurrected the long-missed dimples in his cheeks. His wet curls hung in his face and made him look so young, so carefree. The water was pleasantly warm. It was the first day of their new life. Without her knowing, his smile reflected on her face and she trustingly followed him into deeper water, until her feet lost touch to the ground and only his hands held her.

* * *

“Adam, that was wonderful!” Lilyah cuddled up to his side, into the blankets that warmly covered them both while their clothes were hanging over rocks and branches to dry.

“It sure was.” Smiling into himself, Adam kissed her head and continued to brush through her wet hair with his fingers, spreading strand after strand out to help drying it. Her swimming skills had been less than stellar at first, but she quickly had improved once she had overcome her insecurity in the deep water. In the end, she had enjoyed it so much that he had to put an end to it after noticing that the skin on her fingers had already begun to prune up. Savoring the feeling of her small body nestled so close into his, he contemplated the thought of staying a few days. The idea was enticing, promising a wonderful time of love and happiness, yet he dismissed it again. While she had a few dresses to change, he only had the clothes he wore on him. Grass for the horses was sparse. But first of all and most important, they had to legalize their marriage.

Their marriage… His heart swelled when he thought of it, felt the proof that she was truly his at his side, the warmth of her skin next to his. His little Queen Cleopatra… his little Arab spitfire who once had sworn to never be touched by a man, to never marry because she had secured that in a horse race, who once had thrown the complete decoration of the upstairs hallway after him for kissing her. A chuckle formed deep in his throat.

“Adam?”

“Hmm…” He rubbed his cheek at her head. “I’m thinking of our first kiss.”

“Aw…” Lilyah smiled and lifted her head to kiss his neck. “At the Indian Needle…”

Adam pursed his lips. “That was our third kiss…”

“Err…” She started and felt the shaking of his chest as Adam quietly began laughing. Her cheeks turned a little red.

“I love you, Lil…” He slid a finger under her chin to lift his face to him. “I guess I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you.” He bowed his head and kissed her.

Lilyah responded to his kiss, her hand gliding over his neck and cheek. So much had happened, so much… had there really been a time once in which she could have figured a life without him? Without his love? She did not notice that the blanket slid from her shoulder, but she felt his tenderness as he put it back up. How safe and secure she was in his arms, and how natural and right it felt to sit so close by him, naked skin against naked skin. It should be such a new sensation, even a shocking one, and yet it seemed so familiar, so well-trusted, as if it had always been this way. As if it had always meant to be this way.

“And I think you’re right,” he murmured, his lips still caressing hers.

“Right about what?” She softly kissed his lips.

“Our wedding… the legal wedding.” His hand cupped her face. “I don’t want it to be done in haste anymore. It should be a special day, and I want to share it with my family.” His smile intensified. “And I want Hoss to be my best man!”

Her fingers lovingly glided over his sideburns. She had so much to thank the big man for. “And Joe?”

“Hmmm…” The sparks started dancing in his eyes. “We’ll make him your bridesmaid.”

She blew an amused breath. “I’m not sure if he’d like that…”

“Yeah…” Adam feigned a deeply thoughtful face. “He might look funny in pink.”

Lilyah giggled while her heart laughed with joy. She was well aware what a big step this was for Adam, and what a change to his stance the day before. What a difference a night could make… A night in which he had everything that was rightfully his, knowing that no one could ever take any of it away from him. Her giggle ceased as a strange sense of responsibility rose inside her. It would be her responsibility as his wife to make sure that his happiness would last, his confidence, his trust. She would have to protect all this. She would have to protect him.

“When do you want to ride?”

“Today.” He glanced over the rocky hills at the other side of the river. “We’d reach the Ponderosa by nightfall…” For one moment his lightness faded, but he caught himself quickly. Thoughtfully moving his head, he continued, “We’ll get legally married on Sunday. And that stubborn and thickheaded father of mine will have the choice to attend or stay away.”

Lilyah remained silent. His ironic undertone could not hide that deep inside, he dreaded the confrontation with his father. It could well be the last one and he knew it. But Adam also was a man used to tackling the matters in front of him. It had rather been unlike him to run away once and for all.

“Lilyah…” He cocked his head to seek her gaze. “Don’t let him spoil your mood!”

A small smile played around her lips. “He can’t spoil my mood – not as long as we’re together. And Adam, we should face him together. I want to be at your side when you talk to him.”

Adam seemed to hesitate. “It might not be most pleasant encounter.”

“I don’t care. Adam…” She brushed over his cheek. “Your father loves you. He wants to see you happy, so we should show him that you’re happy. Let us show him that we belong together, that we love each other. He thinks we are too different, let us show him that this is not so.”

“And he will skip through the great room flapping his arms like a merry little hobgoblin, clapping his hands to the sprightly little song tinkling from his laughing lips!” His voice was dripping with irony, but the look he gave her was good-natured and he continued in a normal tone, “Lil, my father is probably the most stubborn man that has ever walked the earth. Once he has rammed his head into something, it takes more than reason and good proof to shake him out of it. And if only I’d known what it takes, my life would have been a whole lot easier.” He shook his head. “It might get ugly, Lil, and it would be hard for you to watch. I don’t want you to be disappointed, I don’t want this whole thing to hurt you, I don’t even want him to give you as much as a queer look.”

“Adam, we both know your father is a problem for us. But the only thing that is really hard for me is when you shut me out. When you leave me behind and send me away to face things on your own that we should face together.” She saw his brow knitting and extended her hand to smooth it with her fingers. “And Adam, we’ve faced more together than a grouchy father, haven’t we?”

He took a deep breath, his eyes locked with hers. “Yah…” he finally said. “We have.”

Lilyah smiled as she raised her head to softly kiss him, her hands fondling his hair as he embraced her to tenderly respond to her kiss.

“And you’re right again.” He gingerly kissed her nose. “Don’t let it become a habit. I’m used to being the intelligent one in the family.”

She laughed and closed her arms around him, kissing him again with endless relief and growing passion. His little quips proved so well that he was back to his old confident self. He could face anything – and she would do whatever she could to make sure that nothing would hurt him.

* * *

The few hours to their decampment went much too fast for Lilyah’s liking. The clothes had dried quickly in the glowing sun; her hair, usually a source of frustration for its slow drying, seemed to have dried even quicker. Lilyah felt a pang of regret inside as she reached for her saddle and bridle. She could have spent months at a peaceful and lonely place like this – with nothing around that could spoil Adam’s good spirits. Without really wanting it, she thought of all the times before when they had returned from blissful solitude to the Ponderosa, only to run into shadows and sorrows. But this time was different. They were one now, welded together in a bond that could not ever be broken up. Nothing could get between them anymore. And she would be there to shield his heart.

She glanced over to Adam and in spite of her watchful eyes, she still enjoyed the sight of him as he saddled his mare. He was well rested and hauled the heavy saddle onto Mariah’s back without any visible effort. Only a very sharp eye would have detected an occasional limp, a slight lag in his steps, and Lilyah wasn’t even sure if her worries did not cause her to see a stiffness where there was none. On the surface, Adam seemed every inch his usual, strong self. But most important was his relaxed, almost joyful demeanour. There was no trace of the underlying resignation that she had sensed so often before. He would return as a free man determined to make his stand once and for all and accept the result. And first and foremost, he was cheerfully looking forward to what he called ‘legalizing the marriage’ and sharing his happiness with his brothers.

“Lil! Are you dreaming?” A cheeky smile lit Adam’s face as he looked over to her.

“No…” She didn’t get any further when she received a hearty nudge to her side. “Chai! Can’t you just wait?”

The stallion nickered and kicked out with both hind legs to vent off his excitement. Of course he couldn’t wait when the saddle so vividly promised a happy ride.

Lilyah couldn’t help but laugh and began to bridle and saddle her horse. It came hard to her to take her eyes off Adam; she could have watched him for hours. And suddenly she didn’t dread the encounter with his father anymore. Ben Cartwright loved his son. He almost had lost him and he sure had not forgotten how miserable Adam had been in the days after his ordeal. Shouldn’t his heart rejoice upon seeing his son so happy again? Seeing him walk about so strong and confident? Seeing him smile like this?

Adam had picked up her travel bag. “Should I take this with me?”

“Ah, no, Mariah is already carrying so much!” Lilyah took the bag from his hands and attached it to her saddle.

“Wait, you’ll lose it that way.” Adam helped her fasten it with Charlie Watkins’ piece of leather, wrapping it tight. “Seems to me Chai’s impatient once again. You better keep him very short when we ride along the brink.”

“I will.” She felt his nearness so intensely, smiling as his hands pulled her closer and turned her around to him. His hazel eyes were warm and loving.

“Lil, we’re not merely riding back – we’ll be riding into our new life. I might not be quite sure yet where it will lead us, but it will be our life!”

“Our life together!” Her eyes clung to his, her hand touched his face.

“Side by side and hand in hand!” he confirmed, a little twitch playing around the corner of his mouth. “Even when we face that terrible roaring dragon residing in the myth-enshrouded Washoe mountains.”

Lilyah chuckled, all her remaining worries evaporating one by one, flying away without leaving a trace. She affectionately responded to his kiss and felt her anticipation rising as he offered her his cupped hand to lift her into the saddle. While it wasn’t exactly an early morning ride, given that the sun was already climbing up in the sky, it came so wonderfully close to that dear familiar habit of theirs. Her heart sang out when Adam mounted his mare and adjusted his hat, her eyes shone as she returned his bright smile.

“Come on, Mrs. Cartwright!” Adam winked at her and clicked his tongue to set his mare into motion.

Lilyah followed. “Did you know that Arab women keep their surnames even after marriage?”

“Not when they marry American men!” Adam laughed. “But if you insist on it, Mrs. Cartwright, you will from now on have to walk about with a big billboard on your back and front, from chin to toes, with big letters on it screaming in shrill colors: Legally married to Mr. Adam Cartwright!” He gave her a look of mocking seriousness. “I’d think it over again, Mrs. Cartwright. Those boards might interfere with your sense of fashion and turn out to be a real nuisance while riding.”

“I’m married to a tyrant!” she called out.

“That makes two of us.”

“Ooooh! You!”

They both laughed until their focus became occupied with the slippery brink of the river that forced them to concentrate on their horses’ footing. As usual, Mariah calmly walked ahead while Chai followed with more impatience; yet the stallion’s instincts prevented him from dancing too much on such treacherous ground. His flickering ears still betrayed his eagerness for a long, unrestricted run.

He didn’t have to wait long. The ride through the woods seemed to be much shorter than it had appeared in the night, and before long the wide plains opened before them. Chai neighed out his excitement and even Mariah started to dance.

Adam laughed as he pressed his hat tighter on his head. “Hey, Lil! Race?”

Her heart sheer wanted to burst. “Race!”

They exchanged a look of loving understanding before they kicked their horses into a gallop, storming ahead, yelling with joy.

* * *