68. To See a Light 

Adam lifted his head, still looking down. “Guess I ruined it…”

“What?” Lilyah tried to catch his eyes. “Adam, no – you didn’t!”

“Lil…” He raised his hand in a helpless gesture and let it fall again, slowly shaking his head. “I should’ve known he wouldn’t listen. I know him long enough.” He sighed. “Reckon I got carried away.”

Her fingers gently glided over his cheek, trying to turn his face to her. “Adam, it was time for you to stand up to him! He… he bellowed at you like you were a child. You couldn’t accept that…”

“And to what end?” He finally looked at her. “It would’ve helped Esma more had I simply played to his whims, applying to his generosity by pointing out there are children involved. That would’ve changed everything. Instead, I displayed just about the same bad temper as he did, the same foolish stubborness I blame him for. I should’ve known better!”

“Sometimes you can only fight fire with fire.” Her voice was very low. “Adam, he hurt your pride, and I think he had done it so very often before that there are wounds in your inside that never had a chance to heal. You always try to be reasonable and then you give in to keep the peace, but in the end it will only make you bitter. And you would be hurting again.”

“Yah…” He blew a breath and straightened in the saddle, allowing the mare to move away from the stallion. “But tomorrow someone else might be hurting and through my fault.”

“Talking about me?” Esma’s rough voice came from the dark.

Adam tensed and caught his breath before he dismounted, facing the old woman that stepped out from the shadows of the rocks. “Ehm… Esma…”

“I’ve heard it all.” She nodded to herself. “Seems to me that old squalling tinhorn was well in the need for a good shot across the bow. In all honesty, it took me a lot of willpower to not step in and give him a piece of my mind, but I thought that was your axe to grind!” A wry grin played around her lips as she squinted at him. “It was about time, wasn’t it?”

For one heartbeat Adam felt truly helpless and at a loss for words. “Esma…” He spoke slowly and chose his words carefully, feeling guilty regret for each one of them. “You might have realized that the confrontation was merely postponed. It… it might get even worse tomorrow.” The words came harder and harder to him. “You might be forced to sell out.”

“Sell my flock? So they can kill them?” She blew a laugh. “Not in a lifetime, shabaro!”

“But…”

“Ah, come on!” She made a disparaging hand movement. “We’ll find a way. Now ease up and don’t be such a gloom-dripping sourpuss!”

“Gloom-dripping…” Adam let the word trail off, trying to read the old woman’s rugged features. “What do you think you are you going to do?”

“We’ll wait a few hours and then we sneak out of here and scram!” Esma turned to the camp. “Like we always do. In the meanwhile, we will finish our meal!”

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Lilyah threw in before Adam could react. Still mounted, she maneuvered the stallion closer. “Adam hasn’t tasted the sweet pie yet and he’s never had some before.”

“Oha! You’ve missed something good, shabaro! My Goran used to love it. He always said it’d be the best thing ever to refreshen a tired soul. Come on!”

Adam opened his mouth and closed it, his eyes darting from Lilyah’s smile above him to Esma’s massive frame marching off in the direction of the campsite. Was he the only one to understand that they were in real dire straits?

“Esma, there’ll be guards!” he called out, regardless of the fact that she was steadily walking away.

“I know, I’ve heard it.” She didn’t turn around, but there was a distinctive chuckle in her voice.

“Adam!” Lilyah slid from Chai’s back and reached for his arm. “Adam, this confrontation with your father has gotten to you, but don’t let it dampen your spirit. You did what was right for you; and if he ever loved you, he will understand it one day.” Her hands cradled his face. “And I know that he loves you.”

Adam omitted a sigh as he looked into her eyes, so large and black in the darkness, looking so compassionately, imploringly even, into his. His fingers gently brushed a long strand of her hair back over her shoulder while he searched for the right words. “Lil, it’s not that. Whether I can make up with him or not, it most likely won’t happen tomorrow morning – and that will be the very hour when Esma loses her flock, the one way or the other. Right now, my father is madder than a wet hen, and he’ll be sizzling for quite some time to come. He won’t back off an inch. I’m not sure if I can mend anything tomorrow, pacify him, and…” He broke off, his eyes averted hers.

“And?” she finally asked.

He inhaled a long breath. The words came out without him thinking. “And I’m not sure if I even want to.” For one moment, he stood in wonderment at the ease with which he had shared a thought of a kind he usually wouldn’t have allowed himself to entertain even in silence.

“Then don’t.” Her hand brushed over his cheek. “You stood your ground tonight, you shouldn’t give it up.”

The ghost of a smile stole over his lips, but it wasn’t enough to lighten the deep worrylines in his face. Lilyah’s fingertips touched the corner of his mouth, as if she tried to keep the faint trace of his smile from vanishing.

“We’ll do as Esma says,” she continued encouragingly. “And you should use the few hours and sleep a little. You must be so tired.”

“As Esma says…” Adam sighed. “Do you think it’ll be so easy to just sneak out of here? There’ll be guards!”

“We’ll sneak around them!” she retorted. “They can’t be everywhere, can they?”

“They don’t need to be everywhere. There’s only a small passage to this valley and just one way out. I have a good idea where they might be holed up, and there’ll be no sneaking around anything!”

He almost regretted the words as he noticed the little steep line building on her forehead. He didn’t want her to worry, to fret, to fear… In his imagination he saw her dear little face watching the sheep getting shot, and the regret culminated into a sharp pain that tore at his heart. It would be unbearable for her.

But her features smoothed as she looked up to him. “Allah will show us a way, and he will take care of the guards. Maybe they’ll fall asleep later on.”

“Like in the fairytale of the beautiful Amina and her magic camel?” A conflicting tide of amusement and sadness rose in his chest, while the painful regret still lingered on. “This isn’t a fairytale, Lil.”

She smiled. “The beautiful Amina and her magic camel were a fairytale, Adam. But Allah is real!”

Adam swallowed the ironic remark he had on his tongue. He felt her arms around his waist, the warmth of her small body against his, and he placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “Let’s go back and talk to Esma.”

“Shouldn’t we ride? It’s a couple of furlongs, and you must be tired…”

“And cheat myself out of a moonlight walk with my bride?” he quipped. “That’s the fairytale I want for real!”

Lilyah laughed softly and snuggled even closer to him.

* * *

Ben Cartwright halted his horse, a sharp eye on his youngest son. “Somebody should look after the herd on the open range before we turn for home.”

Little Joe barely looked up. “Pa, it’s deep dark night, and there are two of our hands there already. What sense would it make?”

“Oh, I can do that!” Frank Miller quickly threw in before Ben could explode. “It’s just a short detour off the way to our ranch, and as Joe says, there’s likely nothing much to see.”

“It would be a little more than a detour for you, Frank.” Ben regarded the young man with a grateful look. Most of the posse had since departed in direction of Carson or Virginia City, Frank was still with them since he shared a good portion of the way.

“But much less than it would be for any of you,” Frank replied. “So don’t make it sound like I’d cross the Sierras for you!”

Ben gave a dry laugh. “I still appreciate it, Frank, thanks! Your father will be back from Sacramento tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow evening, yes. I’d wish we’d have that sheep problem settled by then so he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“So do I, my boy, so do I!” Ben nodded to himself and couldn’t help a bitter feeling rising up inside. Adam was less concerned about his father’s worries… His eyes darted over to his youngest son again who seemed to be absentminded and brooding. Ben’s lips formed a thin line. He still hadn’t forgotten that Joe hadn’t exactly been eager to help finding the traces of those darn sheep.

He bid the young Miller a good night and nudged the buckskin into motion. Just as he had reached his son’s horse, Little Joe urged his pinto to a faster trot. Ben let out a throaty grumble but didn’t say anything. There were still some of the Ponderosa ranch hands with them and he already had had one ugly and noisy family war on display for all to see.

They rode in stony silence until they had finally reached the ranch house and the hands had veered off to their quarters. The yard and the house lay in deep darkness, merely the lantern above the door provided a bleak flicker of light. Hoss was still up north at the lumber camp and Hop Sing was likely long asleep. The scenery had something sad and lonely to it, the only sound being the sound of their horses’ hooves, muffled by the dried loam of the ground.

“What?” Ben bellowed as they arrived at the barn’s doorway. He was taken aback at how loud his voice was.

“Nothing, Pa.” Joe dismounted without looking at his father. “I’ll take care of your horse.”

Ben stiffly climbed off his buckskin, but remained standing beside the animal, not letting go of the reins. Joe fumbled with his own tack, obviously waiting for his father to head for the house and leave the horse standing there.

Ben heaved a deep breath. “You think I was too harsh!”

For a while Joe just stood there, his hand on his saddle, eyes fixed on his pinto’s black and white mane.

“Yes.” He turned abruptly to face his father. “I think you were too harsh!”

Ben fought for a severe stare but he couldn’t keep his face from mellowing. Oh, he knew his youngest so well. Even though he could scarcely see him in the near black shadow thrown by the barn, he could easily picture the provocative posture, the stubborn look; he was sure that his son’s green eyes were glittering with determination, well knowing that he made his father angry but still unwavering in his resolve to stick to his guns. And whenever Joe stood there like this, with those glittering eyes, Ben thought of a wild-haired eight-year-old boy who had been standing there with the same fierce determination in order to enforce his father’s permission to ride a big horse. His big brother Adam had been due to come home from back East, and Joe wanted to ride a big horse like a big man, so his long lost brother couldn’t possibly think he was still a little boy riding a pony. And to make his point, he had chosen for himself the biggest horse on the ranch. It has been a great heartache for Ben, confronted with his youngest’s daredevil antics on a horse that he couldn’t mount without the help of a fence, with the fate of his mother still fresh in Ben’s memory. Adam had solved the problem later by finding that small Indian paint pony for Joe, smuggling it into a herd of saddle horses, well knowing that Joe’s eyes would pop out at the sight of a real Indian horse that only a real hero like him could ride – and never telling him that he and Hoss had already broke it for him. Joe had ridden pintos ever since.

Ben shook off the memory, suddenly aware that there was a forlorn smile on his face. He was also aware that Joe was still staring at him, yet as unable to see his face in the dark as he was unable to really see his son.

“Well…” He had to clear his throat. “Things certainly went out off hand… sometimes… things are said in the heat that you don’t really mean… one word gives the other and then all hell breaks loose.” He drew a breath. “Tomorrow is another day, and Adam and I will talk it over again.” He sensed that his son was still waiting and added, a bit awkwardly, “Peacefully.”

“That’s good.” Joe finally relaxed. “There’re women and children involved. Adam was thinking of them and so he just viewed things from their side. He’s always had that sense of justice, and standing up for the outcasts.”

Ben nodded his head. “Yes, yes… It’s been a long night, Joe. Stable the horses and then go to bed. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.”

“Alright, Pa.”

Ben at last let go of the reins and stepped back, watching his youngest gather both horses to lead to the barn’s doorway. Just as he turned to the house, Joe’s voice made him start.

“Adam’s a married man now, Pa. It’s a good thing, if you ask me. They really love each other.”

Ben stood still. “Yes…”

“I only wished they could’ve married on the Ponderosa,” Joe added.

Ben pressed his lips together and walked to the dark house, with heavy steps.

* * *

“Shabaro, we’ll either scram or we fight it out, it’s that easy and really not hard to understand!” Esma’s tone left no room for doubt. “We have a flock to care for, and that nincompoop isn’t born yet that would take my Goran’s ram from me while I still breathe. You want some more of the sweet pie?”

Adam didn’t even try to keep his eyes from rolling. “No, thanks…” He didn’t know what else to say. All his arguments, all his well thought reasoning had been frazzled to dust at this bulwark of stubbornness that would have even put his father to shame. Esma Dobrachew simply refused to realize that neither of her two choices had any chance of success. Or maybe she knew it and was determined to die fighting. He felt Lilyah sitting close at his side, heard the soft rustling of her silken garments as she moved to pour him a coffee; his eyes glided to Ruby who had settled opposite of them at the campfire, indulging in a big bowl of sweet pie. Pico had gone to look after Daisy, but had failed to come back – a glimpse into the wagon had shown the boy cuddled up to the ewe, soundly asleep. Adam exhaled a frustrated breath and took a sip of his coffee, glad that his hands could hold onto the mug to keep them from pulling his hair out.

Esma watched him through the smoke puffs of her pipe. “I told you it’s not your fight, cowboy!”

“A little late for that, eh?”

She laughed. “You always can go!”

“Adam is not the man to run away!” Lilyah chimed in. “But he really shouldn’t fight, he wouldn’t stand a chance against all those men.” She proudly lifted her head. “But I can!”

Adam coughed into his coffee mug. “What??”

“Only if we really cannot sneak out.” She bowed forward, her dark eyes started to glow. “But if we have to fight, Chai and I will ride forward and stand up against those men! And then we’ll see if they dare shooting at a woman!”

“Yes!!” Ruby sat up galvanized, nearly dropping her sweet pie. “YES!! And I will ride at your side! We’ll show them!!”

“Now would you just hold it!” Adam raised his voice, his eyes flying from one to another. “You girls’ll do nothing of the sort!”

“And who are you to tell?” Ruby shot back.

Lilyah regally straigthened in her seat. “I’m the daughter of Sheikh Rashid Al-Sharieh, I have the blood of Bedouins running in my veins! I know no fear, and I can fight if need be!”

Adam didn’t get a word in when Ruby sprang to her feet, slamming her fists to her hips.

“It’s time for men like you to learn to take us women seriously, cowboy!” she snapped. “We’re not the meek little mice to be bossed around and hide behind your backs when things get dangerous. We’re as good as any men and better even!”

Adam’s mouth fell open while his brow knitted in bewilderment. The girl couldn’t be much older than maybe thirteen years, fourteen at the most. She should be sleeping next to her brother, with a rag doll in her arms. His eyes wandered to Esma who just sat there in an air of amused content, deliberately puffing her pipe.

“Adam, it would be better this way!” Lilyah placed her hand on his arm, searching his eyes. “If they see that they’re up against women, they might just find the sheep not that important anymore and back off. But if they’d stand against you, another man, they would rely on their numbers and fight you!”

“Have you ever heard of the great Greek Amazon woman warriors?” Ruby asked provocatively, beaming as she went on, “They were famous female warriors and no men ever told them what to do! They wouldn’t even allow any men anywhere near them because they deemed them too weak!”

Adam gave the girl a look from under knitted brows, thoughtfully rubbing his balled hand against his mouth while the further description of the glorious female warriors wavered past his ears. His gaze wandered along the steep mountain walls surrounding the small valley, their sharp rocks dimly lit by the moon, until they caught themselves at the wagon where a very sleepy Pico just stuck his head out, asking if ‘they’ were already coming. His sister’s agitated voice must have awaken him, and apparently also the ewe, as the long, demanding baah from inside the vehicle demonstrated. As usual, the call was promptly answered by several bleats from the dark surrounding the fireplace. Adam smacked his lips, as if a long thought process had just come to an end, and swiftly rose to his feet.

Four pairs of eyes looked up to him, asking.

“I’ll go and check on the guards.” He hesitated for a heartbeat before he added, “Maybe there is another way.”

Esma slowly nodded her head, as if she had expected nothing else. “Now you’re talking.”

“I’m coming with you!” Lilyah stood up.

“No, Lil, you won’t!”

“Oh, I will!” She stuck her chin out, every inch determined resolution. “It might get dangerous and I’m not going to let you go alone!”

Adam shook his head, but his sigh was already a sound of defeat. “Saddle your horse.”

“I don’t need to saddle Chai, I can as well…”

“Oh, yes, you will!” he cut her off. “It might get dangerous and you’ll have a safer seat on a saddled horse!”

A chuckle came from Esma. “That’s a compromise, child!”

Adam was about to shoot off a remark, but then he just picked up his hat and went to call Mariah. At least one female that happily and willingly did as she was told, without putting anything in question.

* * *

“Ho…”

The word was barely audible, little more than a breathe, but it was enough for Lilyah to pull up next to the big mare. Her attempts to read Adam’s face were futile in the darkness, with the black foliage of the trees above them blocking off whatever light the hazy moon was giving. She felt his touch at her arm and then saw the shadow of his big hand pointing forward, to a spot somewhere across the bit of open space before them. Yet no matter how she strained her eyes, she couldn’t make out anything. There should at least be the shine of a campfire, but there was nothing but shadows and darkness.

Adam leaned over to bring his head close to hers, so close that the brim of his hat brushed against her hair. “Two or three horses behind the bushes,” he whispered almost soundlessly. “A campfire behind the boulder; almost burnt down.”

She squinted, but still couldn’t see anything. How could he even tell there was a campfire behind the boulder?

Adam maneuvered the mare a few steps backwards before he turned her around to slowly ride back where they had come from. Lilyah followed the movement and stayed at his side until he pulled up again.

“They’re farther away than I thought, which is good. They’re well out of earshot.” His voice was very low, but he didn’t whisper anymore. “Seems they’ve burned the cadavers on the clearing, and apparently they didn’t want to camp anywhere near them.”

“You think we…” Lilyah broke off. That much she could tell by herself that there wasn’t any chance to drive a whole flock of bleating sheep past that spot they had just left without those men out there noticing. And even though it was nearly a mile to the small valley where the flock was, the way from it had led through dark canyons and passages, none of which had even remotely shown a trace of an alternate path out.

“… could possibly get past them?” Adam finished her sentence as she remained silent. “No.”

She bit her lip. “Maybe a hidden path along the way…”

“No. They knew quite well they could afford to camp that far off. It’s the only way out of the valley.” A deep chuckle came from his chest as he continued, “Let’s ride back. And put that dagger away.”

Lilyah blushed and stashed the weapon she had clutched back in its sheath. Adam really must have eyes like an eagle, or an owl – or maybe he had a sixth sense. Hadn’t she hidden the blade in the folds of her wrap all the time? Just in case someone would jump them from the dark?

They rode back in silence, each hanging about their own thoughts, and Lilyah trying to overcome her discomfort in the narrowness of the rocky walls. Even though the night was anything but dark, the moonlight didn’t reach into the steep canyons, and more often than not they passed through pitchblack darkness. Once again she was thankful for Mariah’s utter stoicism, for the mare’s calmness rubbed off on the stallion who otherwise would have been harder to handle.

She breathed a deep sigh of relief when they finally reached the small valley again which appeared almost bright in the moonlight, compared to the blackness of the rocky passages. The sheep were whitish spots spread all over the place, most of them lying and sleeping, but a few still walking about, letting out a bleat now and then. The campfire was still lowly burning and the lantern at the wagon provided an additional speck of light. It was a lovely and peaceful scenery and Lilyah felt a sharp pain inside when she thought of the next morning. Her resolve to fight for this flock grew even bigger.

“Lil, wait…” Adam had halted his mare.

Lilyah pulled up again and turned around to him. The brim of his hat still shadowed his face and at a first glance it seemed as if he also was sunken in the sight of the pastoral image in front of them. Yet a closer look revealed that his narrowed eyes had lost themselves somewhere above the valley. He seemed to be churning a problem whose solution was close, but not yet in his reach. His jaw was working, his teeth sucking in parts of his lips, his long fingers kept on fumbling with his nose and his chin, pinching and scratching the beard stubbles which made his lower face appear almost black. When had he shaved the last time?

She suddenly felt an even deeper pain and regret. He must be so utterly exhausted, having been in the saddle all day, with nary a chance to rest, and he still was weakened from his illness. He had to sleep… he had to rest…

“Lil, you once told me about Morocco, about you tending to your goats in an exceptionally dry summer when there was barely any pasture on the ground.”

She wrinkled her brow, trying to figure what he was getting at. “Yes…”

“You said there were spots in the mountains that still had lush grass, thanks to the springs, and that your goats would climb around there like monkeys to get to those spots.” He looked at her. “And that those spots were crawling with goats… and with sheep.”

She skipped a breath, her eyes flew over to the spot at the mountain sides he had watched so intensely before. “You mean…”

He nodded his head. “How well can they climb?”

Lilyah sat back in the saddle, staring at the steep mountain side with its rugged rocks and cliffs. It seemed impossible, even outright lunatic to even consider such an ascent. But her goats wouldn’t have had a problem climbing up there… she hastily tried to scratch together what she knew about sheep.

“Popular opinion around here has it that sheep are clumsy animals,” Adam went on. “It’s said that when you throw a sheep on its back, it cannot get up on its feet again.”

“That’s nonsense!” Lilyah shook her head. “Don’t you know that wild sheep live in the mountains? At least in Morocco!”

A fine smile stole over his lips. “And also in a lot of other countries – I’ve read about it. But I wonder how well they really can climb. The domestic ones.”

“Well, they’re no goats…” She bit her lip, recalling memories of sheep she had seen at home, images of lonesome shepherds in dusty djellabahs, leading their flocks across the rugged hillsides of Ras Madeeh. “I mean, they don’t jump like goats, and as far as I know, they’re not as adventurous and pesky… but they can climb very well. You would find sheep everywhere at home, many people preferred them to goats because they would not ruin the young trees as much. But, Adam…” She hesitated. “The horses…”

“We can’t ride there, so much is clear. But we can walk them up there – not straight ahead, but in zigzag lines. I’ve done it before.” He blew a little laugh, more to counter his own doubts than out of any real amusement. It had been a dangerous, neck-breaking climb – one he never would have thought he’d ever consider trying again. “I’ve been up there once. I had to walk my horse and at times I had to drag it behind me and kick it forward, but we’ve made it.” He extended his hand to point to a spot at the top. “Once we’re up there, we’ll have a pretty rough way across the mountains and another small ascent, albeit not as harsh as this first one. And when we’ve made that part, we’ll reach a fine, grassy promontory on the top of the mountains, with enough pasture to last for months, and a nice little mountain spring to boot.” A dry smirk played around his lips. “Seems my uncounted useless excursions into nature might actually pay off in the end.”

For a while Lilyah sat silent. “It seems to be an awfully rough ascent…” she finally said.

“Yah.” Adam gave her a sidelong glance. “But the alternate is a fight we cannot win, a loss we cannot take, and last but not least the rather sad prospect of two not so reasonable young ladies learning the hard way why the great Greek Amazon woman warriors only survived in legend.”

Lilyah preferred not to answer, but she could see his teeth flashing in the dark.

“Lilyah…” Adam got serious again. “There’s still another option… one that I want you to know that you always have it.” He took a breath before he went on, “We can always leave, if you want us to leave.”

It was her turn to smile. “I don’t think this is an option at all.”

She could feel the warmth in his eyes as he stretched out his hand to touch her shoulder. The horses stood too far apart to allow him more than brushing the silk of her wrap with his fingertips, but there still was all his love in the light carressing.

“Let’s tell Esma.” He clicked his tongue to urge the mare forward.

* * *

“The wagon…”

Adam regarded the old woman with a sympathetic look. He understood too well that the wagon was as good as a house for Esma and her grandchildren, the closest perhaps they came to a home. “We can’t take the wagon along, Esma. I’m sorry.”

Esma inhaled a long breath as she gazed at the old vehicle. “Small price to pay for the flock, I guess. And the ram.”

“We have four horses.” Adam went on, “We can pack up quite some of your possessions. My only concern is the flock. Lilyah thinks sheep can climb well enough, but she only knows Moroccan sheep, and she’s more familiar with goats. And for my part – all that I could tell for certain is that we’d never have a snowflake’s chance in hell to get even a single cow up there.”

“Don’t worry about the flock, shabaro. They won’t be delighted or skipping about as trilly as goats would, but they can make it. We might have to kick them along a tad, but in the end all we have to do is get the ram going and the ewes will follow.”

“What about Daisy?” Pico called out in sudden alert. “She can’t walk!”

Lilyah answered before anyone else could react. “We put Daisy on a horse, as well!”

The boy gave her a skeptical look. “I don’t know if Daisy can ride…”

“We’ll make sure she won’t fall from her horse,” Adam promised while already pondering the various options to secure the ewe on horseback. The glaring lunacy of the endeavour faded against the realization that they could not possibly leave the children’s beloved pet sheep behind.

“We better get going. We’ve only got a few hours left to sunup, and we should be well out of sight by then.” He rose to his feet, squinting over to the moonlit mountain side. “We would make fine targets clambering up there!”

“Well then!” Esma got up. “Ruby, you go packing up all important things from the wagon. Wrap up the dishes good, you hear? Pico, you get me the ropes and the tack!”

“Yes, Grandma!” The children ran off.

“I want to help, too!” Lilyah offered.

“You can help Ruby pack up, child. She’ll show you everything.”

Adam watched with silent content as Lilyah willingly followed the girl and climbed into the wagon. “I guess I better get the sheep out of there so the girls have more room.”

“I’ll do that, shabaro. You get the horses!” Esma stepped close to him and looked him straight into the eye. Her weathered face was serious and hard to read. “We would’ve lost more than the wagon tomorrow and you know it.”

Adam started for just one moment, but then he simply said, “I know.”

She slowly nodded her head, then her hand reached up and squeezed his shoulder before she turned to the wagon.

Adam silently smiled to himself as he went to fetch the two bays.

* * *

They didn’t need more than an hour to pack everything up and fasten the loads on the backs of the horses. Chai caused some delay when he obviously considered himself too noble for such profane tasks and protested with rearing and neighing, until he finally gave in to his mistress’s authority, albeit not without much stomping and rolling of eyes and ears. He made no secret of his bad mood, even kicking out at one of the team horses while Adam loaded his back with bags, beddings and hides.

Daisy provided another problem when she kept bleating and struggling so hard that even the placid bay gelding that was chosen to carry her went skittish. His team mate was already loaded with a basket full of tiny lambs too small to be expected to manage the steep ascent, and Chai was out of the question for such delicate cargo. So the consignment finally fell to the patient Mariah, and strangely enough the mare’s gentleness seemed to soothe the agitated ewe who suddenly gave up all resistance as Adam tied her fast between the packs on Mariah’s back.

Pico, minutes ago on the verge of tears, was brimming with joy again. “She likes your horse!”

“Well, you gotta hand it to Daisy…” Adam contentedly patted his mare’s neck. “She sure knows something about horses!”

Pico nodded his head. “And your horse sure knows how to carry a sheep!”

“Her name is Ma…” Adam broke off as he heard Lilyah’s sprinkling laughter behind him, soon joined by Esma’s deep chuckle. With some delay, Ruby burst out laughing as well. With a lopsided grin he half turned around to look from one to another. “What’s so funny?”

The giggling ladies hastily went about their own tasks.

“You call your horse ‘Ma’?” Pico asked, slightly confused why everybody was laughing.

“No, her name is Mariah, and she’s not just a horse – she’s a real lady!” Adam caught Lilyah’s smiling face as she walked Chai around to calm the stallion down and get him used to the load on his back, and called out to her, “We’ll talk about that later, Mrs. Cartwright!”

She laughed out and ran a few steps to make Chai trot.

Pico looked from Adam to Lilyah and back again, drawing a little closer to Adam and motioning him to bow down. “We should team up!” he suggested in a low voice, squinting sideways to the ladies. “You need another man at your side or you won’t stand a chance against them!”

“You’ve got a point there!” Adam squatted down to get on eye level to the boy, extending his hand. “Pardner?”

Pico beamed all over his face as he shook Adam’s hand. “Pardner!”

“We’re ready here!” Esma approached them, dragging her smelly ram behind her. “Pico, you and Titus round up the flock!”

“Yes, Grandma!” The boy jumped off, calling for the dog.

Lilyah followed closely, leading Chai along. “I can help the boy with the flock,” she suggested. “Adam can take Chai along with Mariah, and he’ll have to lead the way, anyway.”

“Yes,” Esma agreed. “I can take our two horses along with the ram, so Ruby can help drive the flock, too.” She squinted up the mountain side. “It won’t be that easy getting the critters up there.”

“No.” Adam shook his head. “Ladies, it’s a rough climb, and on great lengths there won’t be space enough to lead two horses side by side. I suggest I take Mariah and one of the bays, Esma takes the other bay and the ram. Ruby and Pico drive the sheep, and Lilyah follows with Chai at the end.” He saw Lilyah opening her mouth and went on, “Lil, that way you can still look out for sheep falling back, and in the end no one can lead Chai better than you. Particularly when he’s in a sour mood.”

“You’re right…” Lilyah regarded her stallion from the corner of her eye. The heavy load on his back still bristled and irritated him, and while he respected Adam and obeyed him, he still would have used any chance he’d get to take out his anger at the horses following behind him.

“Alright then!” Adam straightened up to look over the small valley, raising his voice so Ruby and Pico could hear him, “Get them rolling, kids! We’re moving out!”

“Giddy’up! Giddy’up!” 

The children’s calls mingled with the excited barking of the dog and the increased bleating of the sheep as the many white spots in the dark gathered to a wobbling mass. Adam caught a glimpse of Lilyah’s face and saw the bright shine in her dark eyes as she watched the drive up. He could just feel that she would love to skip off and join in, and he realized that she missed tending to a herd of her own animals more than she herself even knew.

Driving the flock across the valley wasn’t much of a problem, but when they reached the spot where Adam planned to start the climb it became apparent that the task that lay before them wasn’t an easy one. Driven forward, the sheep turned off left and right and didn’t even think of going ahead and up the steep, rocky slope. It was easy to understand the animals.

“Oh, Allah…” Lilyah had to bend her head backwards to look up to the top of the giant ascent, to the stars faintly blinking above it. It had looked immense enough from afar, but from close up it was downright intimidating – and frightening. She had never felt so tiny in her life.

“Wow…” Ruby had stepped next to her, looking up the slope with the same shocked expression on her face. “Is it even possible?”

Adam fastened the lead rope of the bay to Mariah’s tack, noticing with some amusement that Lilyah and Ruby were almost the same height. Either Ruby was very big for her age, or Lilyah was very tiny. The delightful thought helped him to mask his own anxiety in the face of the enormous slope – and the nagging concern if he hadn’t taken a bite too big to chew, driven by despair rather than reason.

“Well,” he mused. “I guess the great Greek Amazon woman warriors wouldn’t have had much of a problem with that.”

Ruby noisily drew the air through her nose. “Of course not!”

“Grandpa always said everything is possible if you really want it!” Pico made himself heard. “Didn’t he, Grandma?”

“So he did, Pico!” Esma confirmed. “And you know Grandpa always was right… well, most of the time, anyway.” Her eyes glided from the boy to the girl. “We never asked for easy, children. We asked for a way out, and this is our way out!”

Lilyah still gazed up to the top of the slope. “It leads directly to the stars…”

“Yah…” For one moment Adam allowed himself to savour her beautiful image, to nurture the wish to hold and to kiss her, before he pulled himself together. “Now come on! Giddy’up! We’re moving!”

Leading Mariah along, he took the first hurdle upwards on the tremendous mountain side.

* * *