15. Joe’s Master Plan 

“You’re late!” Ben came up from behind his desk. “You should’ve been back hours ago.”

“Yes.” Adam put his hat and coat on the hanger and unbuckled his gun belt. It was eleven o’clock at night, and his father had apparently been waiting all those hours. Placing the gun belt onto the credenza, Adam turned towards the staircase. His heart was heavy; he was in no mood for another brawl with his father.

“You’re not seriously thinking of taking this woman with you on the trail!?”

Adam sighed. “Pa, I’m tired, and I’ll have to get up way before four. I’d prefer to go to bed.”

“When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer!”

Adam’s eyes narrowed, yet his face stayed blank. “No, I won’t take her with me. Are you satisfied? Fine, then I might go to sleep now!”

“Not in this tone, young man! Not in this tone!” Ben’s face darkened. Adam’s reaction was a tad too sharp for his taste and it bristled him. “The least I can expect from you is some respect!”

Adam bit down the harsh answer he had on his tongue, forcing himself to keep calm. “I could only hire three men in Carson City, that was all I could find. They are with the herd right now, as is Lew Benson. We’re planning to start at sunup – less than six hours from now!”

Ben nodded his head, not content at all when this did not explain why Adam was so late. The Arab lady could not have been the reason, she had withdrawn to her room after she had returned from her ride with Joe and she had not left it since. But he watched without saying a word as Adam went up the staircase. It was just when his son disappeared around the corner that he realized they had not even bid each other good night.
* * *

 

Adam hesitated when he reached Lilyah’s room opposite his own. The door was not closed but slightly ajar, he could see a small stripe of light in the gap. He knew she was waiting and his heart sank. It would be so hard…

Collecting himself, he quietly tapped at the wood. “Can I come in?”

“Yes…” Lilyah could tell from one look at his face that he was not going to ask her if she would accompany him on the cattle drive. And although she was relieved because it saved her from the grievous option to turn him down, she felt a little pang in her heart.

Adam drew a deep breath as he sat down close to her on the small table. She looked so beautiful in this cream-colored silk gown she wore, her long hair openly flowing down her back, the light of the petroleum lamp drawing soft shadows onto her delicate features. Her dark eyes already seemed to know what he was about to tell her and for a moment he could not return her gaze. What went wrong in his life that he had to steal the moments with the woman he loved? He was 33 years old and still his father could go and decide that he would not see her for weeks, like he was just a boy and not a man. And while it was actually positive that his father had finally decided to sell some stock rather than adding even more to it, Adam could not help but feel that this was a deliberate and harsh reminder of who had the say on the ranch. It was a feeling of deep embarrassment.

“Lilyah…” His hand rose, gently touching the dark hair. He still did not dare to play with it as he secretly wished to, tousling it with both hands, burying his face in the rich, wavy flood.

“It’s about the cattle drive…?” Her eyes held no anxiety, no disappointment, only warmth. She made it so much easier for him.

“Yes.” His eyes looked in hers. “I can’t take you with me. Lilyah, I’ve hired a couple of men in Carson City today, and if you could see them…” He shook his head. “I would not want you anywhere near them, or have them staring at you, or getting close to you. It would be unbearable – for both of us.”

“I understand…”

“Another thing…” His hand covered hers. “I’ve been to friends of mine today – the Hacketts. They are very nice people; Ted Hackett, his wife and two children. They have a farm some 15 miles southeast from Virginia City…” His eyes began avoiding hers again. This was another embarrassment – he could not even ensure her staying in the house that he called his home. If she clashed with his father while he was gone – a not so unlikely thought given the tension between them – she might not be there anymore when he returned. Holding her hand closer, he went on, “Lilyah, if you have any problems while I’m gone, or find living on the Ponderosa too hard, for whatever reason, the Hacketts would be very pleased if you’d visit them and stay with them for some days. I’ll talk to Hoss in the morning and see to it that when anything happens, he will get you there.” He bit his lip and finally looked her in the eye again. “Just make sure I’ll find you when I come back…”

“You will – don’t worry.” Her hand gently brushed his cheek, her finger touching the spot where a dimple used to be when he smiled. Right now, he did not smile, he looked tired and haggard. His body smelled of a hard working day on horseback, and she could see the circular impression in his hair where the hat had flattened his black curls. The wish to just hold him and let him rest and relax was overwhelming. “And nothing will happen, Adam. I will be with Chai all the time…”

He reached for her fingers and kissed them. “Those two weeks will pass…”

“Yes…”

Adam leaned over to her and enclosed her in his arms, for one moment he just pressed her to his chest before he searched for her lips. She responded to his kiss, and in a wave of tenderness they forgot everything around them, kissing each other with growing, almost desperate passion, until they both had to catch a trembling breath. Nestling her face in his big hand, Lilyah closed her eyes, while Adam rested his forehead in her hair.

“When do you have to ride?” she finally asked, without opening her eyes.

“An hour before sunup,” he replied. “The herd’s standing an hour’s ride from here.”

“That’s not much time for you to sleep.” She sat up, studying his features, her fingers softly following the lines in his face.

“No.” He raised his brows in a resigned manner. “Guess I better go now…”

She felt like freezing when he got up, the warmth of his nearness taken away from her. Nevertheless she bravely tried a smile. “Good night…”

“Good night…” He forced himself to turn around and went for the door.

“Adam!” Lilyah hastily stood up and rushed after him, just as he was about to reach for the door-handle. Her hand clasped onto his shoulder. “You will take care of yourself! I mean, with the cows and all…”

“Sure.” A small smile showed on his lips, he took her face in both hands and kissed her. “Don’t worry – it’s not my first trail.”

She silently nodded her head and responded to his kiss. This time there was no passion, only a soft, wistful sadness.
* * *

 

“Ho, Cooch!” Little Joe slid from Cochise’s back and led the pinto to a couple of boulders lining the rocky path to Virginia City, a good place additionally sheltered by trees and shrubs. From here he could watch the whole area beneath, but no one riding down there would see him.

“No need for you to carry this all the time!” He took the rather heavy saddlebags off the horse and unbound the two travel bags from the saddle. One of them contained Lilyah’s saddle bags, the other one some of her clothing that she had packed. Joe had sneaked them from her room this morning – Pa certainly would not let her ride out on a fully packed horse. “Don’t worry, Cooch, we’ll get a packing horse once we’re in Virginia City!”

The pinto snorted in reply.

Little Joe made himself comfortable on the ground. When he thought it over, his plan was even better now than he had initially devised it. And this when it had first seemed to be in jeopardy, after Pa had asked him to do an errand for him in Genoa shortly after breakfast yesterday. To Pa’s credit, he had made up for the unwelcomed task, by extending Joe’s week off to a generous ten days and even slipping him some extra money. ‘Have fun ‘, he had said.

Of course they had lost a full day now, but in the end, this might be much better than it would have been if they had acted right after Adam had left. The risk of his father simply riding after the herd would have been enormous – now with Adam one and a half days gone it was less likely to occur.

“I hope she remembers what I’ve told her.” Joe did not mind that Cochise was more interested in some yummy leaves than in his thoughts. He pulled out a pocket watch and checked the time. An hour to go for Lilyah to act. Joe drew his hat in his face and crossed his arms behind his head. Hopefully she would not turn out to be a sissy when it came to fast and hard riding, for he intended to make up for the lost day as much as he possibly could. Not only because they would need the time to test the various horses – there still were Evita and Dolores… Joe grinned. Yes, fun he would have!
* * *

 

Lilyah twisted her mouth as she walked Chai onto the yard and spotted Ben Cartwright sitting on the front porch, looking up from whatever he was reading. Deliberately ignoring him, she led the stallion into the barn to where Adam had told her to keep saddle and bridle. The place next to her tack was empty; that was where his used to be. Her finger touched the bare wood with wonderment. A month ago she had not even known Adam Cartwright existed – and now his absence seemed to leave a hole in her life. Brushing the sadness away, she turned to her tack.

She had just put Chai’s bridle on and was about to reach for the saddle when she heard the sonorous voice behind her. “Oh, Miss Lilyah – going for a ride?”

She half turned around. “Yes, Mr. Cartwright. Chai needs his exercise runs.”

“I see.” He came closer and squinted his eyes when the black Arabian threw up his head, glaring at him. If it would not be so ridiculous, he would almost assume the stallion did not like him. At least he did not let the man out of his eye, cautiously watching his every movement.

“My son Hoss should be back in less than an hour. He would surely be most happy to accompany you.”

“That’s very considerate of you, Mr. Cartwright, but now that I’ve started saddling Chai, I cannot keep him waiting for an hour. He’s looking forward to our ride now.” She fastened the girth and put on the breastplate. “And I’m quite capable of looking after myself. I’ve come to know the area by now.”

“Well, as it happens, I could use a little fresh air!” Ben impulsively walked over to his buckskin and grabbed his saddle blanket. “It’s a wonderful day for a ride, isn’t it?” He hastily started saddling his horse.

“Certainly, Mr. Cartwright.” Lilyah smiled sweetly as she led Chai out of the barn. The water trough outside was a fine mounting help; and the stallion nickered in happy anticipation as she sat in the saddle.

“Miss Lilyah, wait for me!” Ben tried an artificial laugh. “Is there any special place you want to go to?”

She sorted her robes. “Well, Mr. Cartwright, I thought of riding to the lake again, I’m really looking forward to it. It’s such beautiful scenery…”

“That’s wonderful!” cried Ben, dragging his horse out of the box.

“By the way, Mr. Cartwright, don’t worry if I don’t come back tonight. I’m not quite sure yet, but if the mood strikes me, I might look for Adam…” With this, she nudged Chai into a gallop and paced out of the yard.

“Wait! Miss Lilyah… wait!” Ben never had been so fast on a horse. This was exactly what he had hoped to prevent. “Come back here!” He furiously kicked his buckskin into a gallop and followed her.

Lilyah almost giggled as she slowed Chai to a rather comfortable canter, hearing the frantic beat of the buckskin’s hooves behind her. Chai excitedly rotated his ears. He also heard the other horse and wanted to run. “Hold it, Chai, hold it…” Lilyah tapped his neck. “It’s time we teach this old man a lesson!”

She rode until she reached the top of a soft hill from which she had a wide view of the meadow below, framed by high pines maybe 600 yards ahead. The beating of hooves came nearer.

“Miss Lilyah! Wait for me!” Ben got the last out of his horse as he slowly caught up.

“Alright, Chai…” She gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder. “Yallah!”

The stallion neighed enthusiastically and shot off like an arrow fired from the bow.

Ben halted his buckskin and watched with grim expression as the black stallion thundered across the meadow and disappeared between the pines. There was no chance in the world that he could ever catch up with that horse. “Fire and brimstone…” he growled, angrily pushing the air through his nose. Of course Adam had planned all this! Ben’s first impulse was to follow the herd; and in a thoughtless reflex he even nudged his horse into motion, only to pull the confused buckskin up again. Adam probably hadn’t covered much more than 20 or 30 miles with the cattle, but he had started 15 miles from the ranch and by now was certainly a good 40 miles ahead. It would take Ben all day to catch up, and he would not reach the herd until nightfall. And then what? Making a big scene in front of the men? Making a laughing stock out of his family?

Seething with rage, Ben turned his buckskin around and rode back to the ranch house. ‘You come home, son,’ he thought wrathfully. ‘Just wait until you come home!’

He wasn’t aware that Lilyah had stopped behind the trees, carefully hidden from his sight. Watching him on the open meadow from between the branches and bushes, a fine smile played around her lips as he turned and rode off. “No, Mr. Cartwright,” she murmured. “You can’t catch the wind!”

Turning Chai, she continued on her way.
* * *

 

“Hey! Hey, Lilyah!” Little Joe did not trust his eyes. At first he had cheered as he saw the very distinctive small figure on the black horse coming down the tree-covered hills, the ultimate confirmation that his plan was working well – but then his smile had faded as she took an inexplicable turn and rode off in the direction of Carson City.

“Hey!” He ran over to Cochise and jumped on the pinto’s back, taking after the wayward rider. Holding the reins with one hand, he put two fingers in his mouth and let out a loud whistle.

Lilyah halted Chai and turned around as the young man shot up to her.

“What are you doing?” Joe reined in his horse. “Don’t tell me you really want to go after Adam?”

“No.” She fluttered her lashes. “I’m on my way to you. You said you’d wait at the turn to Virginia City…”

“That’s over there!” Joe pointed to his waiting spot. “You were riding toward Carson City!”

“Oh…” She put a finger on her cheek. “I must have confused this.”

“Nevermind!” His curiosity bubbled over. “How did it go? Did you tell Pa that you might just ride to the lake and don’t know if you’ll go after Adam?”

“I did,” she replied. “But I don’t think he believes that I might actually ride to the lake.”

She proceeded to tell him what had transpired and he chuckled. Good thing that he was out of Pa’s reach for awhile. Poor Hoss who had to live with him the upcoming days…

“Let’s get going!” They galloped to Joe’s waiting spot where Lilyah picked up her saddle bags and attached them skillfully to her saddle. Joe took the travel bag and sneaked a glance at her dress. She had taken his advice to choose a less striking robe, and indeed the wide gowns did not have the usual rich embroidery and brocaded pastiches. Predominantly black, only small golden ornaments along the seams decorated the robes and wraps. There probably were a little too many golden trinkets dangling from her head jewelry, barely covered by some kind of thin black veil hanging down her back. Her long hair was only loosely held together, and she wore quite a lot of necklets and bracelets. Joe smirked into himself. Who would ever have thought older brother would have such exotic tastes?

“Hey, let me help you!” He hastened to help her into the saddle, but she evaded his attempt. The black stallion snapped his head forward as if to bite him.

“Joe…” She gave him an apologetic look. “In my country it is not custom that an unrelated man helps a woman on or off a horse. So please, I can very well mount and dismount on my own.”

“Alright.” He pulled an astonished face. “But Adam does it all the time…”

Blushing, she dropped her eyes. “Adam is… he is… special…” Her fingers awkwardly played with one of the tassles on her horse’s tack.

Joe turned to his own horse and grinned from one ear to the other. Special! Yeah, right… Hopefully she would continue throwing things at Adam, or older brother would get even more uppity than he already was. Suppressing a cackle, he mounted Cochise. Lilyah got in the saddle quite easily even without a stepping stone, and he wondered how on earth she could so elegantly find her seat without getting hopelessly entangled in all those drapings. Apparently she had a great deal of practice.

“We’ll have to ride quite fast after we’re finished in Virginia City,” he remarked. “We’ve lost a full day!”

“How far is it to this Ortega ranch, anyway?”

“About 170 miles.”

Lilyah furrowed her brow. “We don’t need five days for 170 miles! We can easily do it in four or less!”

Joe laughed. “I could probably do it in four days or less, but not you!”

“Why not me?”

“You’re a woman!” Joe made a rather self-assured face. “You need much more rest than I do!”

Lilyah smiled insidiously. “Well, we’ll see…”

This time Joe furrowed his brow contemplating her words, but then shrugged it off and nudged Cochise into a fast gallop. He was very satisfied as the black stallion easily kept the pace. Maybe they could really do it in four days – or at least four and a half.
* * *

 

Little Joe almost cringed as they rode into town. A lady in black riding a black horse down the main street would alone have been a sight to behold for the good citizens of Virginia City, but Lilyah’s outlandish appearance definitely attracted more attention than he felt comfortable with. Maybe it wasn’t solely her appearance, but more so the looks of her unusual horse. As if the Oriental tack with all its fineries and tassles wouldn’t be striking enough, the Arabian stallion strutted dancingly across the dusty street as if he was on a parade, with a proudly bowed neck and his tail high in the air. People left and right stood and stared, one could think a notoriously famous gunslinger was riding into town. Joe sighed. So much for his plan to not arouse any attention – he could as well have ridden in with Chief Winnemucca in full war bonnet.

“Bank’s over there!” he pointed out. One thing he had to give her – she ignored the penetrant stares with calm and nobility, nudging the stallion nonchalantly into the given direction. Relaxing, he rode to the bank, jumped off Cochise and assumed a cocky posture. Since the point ‘inconspicuous operation in Virginia City’ could be safely scrapped from the plan, he might as well enjoy his extraordinary acquaintance.

“Don’t you tie him to the post?” he asked as she simply let the stallion stand next to his pinto.

“I don’t need to, he won’t run away.” She turned to Chai and patted his muzzle. “You’ll be a good boy and wait outside with Cochise!”

Joe swallowed a laugh. Alright, she was a bit funny – what else could be expected from a woman that thought of older brother as ‘special’?

“Let me do the talking!” he advised her. “Just ask him for his absolute discretion, that will sound better coming from you. And don’t wonder if I say something that seems odd to you. It’s all part of my plan!”

Luckily for them, the man Joe wanted to see in the bank was actually present and the youngest Cartwright quickly brushed aside the thought that only mere luck helped him with the next step of the plan.

“Mr. Bradbourne, may I introduce Miss Alsherry to you, an old family friend!” Joe donned his most courteous man-of-the-world smile and did not quite understand why Lilyah’s eyebrows rose at the mentioning of what he thought was her name. “Miss Alsherry plans a bigger investment and wishes to sell some jewelry. I told her she could not find a better business partner in town than you!”

“Miss Alsherry?” The very sophisticated elderly gentleman performed a little bow.

“Al-Sharieh…” she said politely. “Lilyah Sharayah bint Rashid ibn Hassan Al-Sharieh.”

“Miss Al-Sharieh…” The gentleman did not move a muscle while Joe confusedly fluttered his lashes.

“I would like to leave the further transaction to Mr. Cartwright.” She nodded in Joe’s direction. “He has my full confidence. I only ask for your absolute discretion in this business. Apart from Mr. Cartwright here, I don’t wish that anyone should know about it.”

“Miss Al-Sharieh, discretion is my business and a matter of honor for me!” The gentlemen ushered them into his office and minutes later sat there examining a sparkling sapphire collar adorned with diamonds. “Exquisite!” he murmured. “Do you have a bill of ownership?”

Joe looked to Lilyah and she nodded her head, presenting a piece of paper. “I’m just afraid it might not be of much use to you.”

Mr. Bradbourne looked at the Arabic writing, then he scrutinized the lady sitting next to Little Joe Cartwright, the son of one of his oldest and most trustworthy business partners. She wore doubtlessly precious jewelry, even without having a closer look he could see that they were no fakes. Her clothing as well as her features clearly depicted the foreign origin.

“I would really like to buy it!” he said and put down the lenses he had used to examine the stones. “But I have to be honest with you. I cannot pay you more than 3000 dollars for this item, and you might get a better price in San Francisco or Sacramento! Unfortunately, I don’t have more means available for a purchase of this nature.”

Joe creased his forehead. “We need the money now, but of course the decision is Miss Al-Sharieh’s.”

She looked at him. “Will it be enough for…” she broke off.

Joe smiled. “More than enough!”

“Then I’ll sell it!”

The purchase was transacted smoothly and without further delay, and Joe took the money on him.

“May I ask about the nature of the business?” Mr. Bradbourne asked politely, just in case it could be something of interest for the bank.

Joe laughed. “We’ll keep it to ourselves for awhile, but when it is uncovered, it will be a big surprise!” He grinned at Lilyah who smiled bashfully and turned to the door.

“Oh, I understand…” Mr. Bradbourne smiled secretively as he accompanied Joe and Lilyah out of the bank. Looking left and right to make sure no outsider could hear him, he whispered, “My congratulations!”

It was a bit unfortunate that at the same moment a big carriage noisily racketed along the busy street, and nobody heard his good wishes. After a last fatherly look at the leaving pair, Mr. Bradbourne returned into the building.

“We need a packing horse!” Joe untied Cochise and swung himself in the saddle. “The livery stable is just a few blocks down the street!”

They were at the livery stable in just a few minutes and Lilyah waited with Chai outside as Joe bought a packing horse plus equipment and supplies for five days. Some people still were looking, and she concentrated on Chai and tried to ignore all the curious stares.

“One of the best horses he had!” Joe explained as he led a big bay gelding outside, starting to pack both their saddle bags onto the load. “We could have rented him, but I bought him since we might leave him behind when we…. Drat!”

“What is it, Joe?”

“Sheriff Coffee!” Joe hastily closed in on Lilyah and hissed, “Let me do the talking! You don’t say a word, he’s dangerous!”

“Dangerous?” Lilyah followed his look and saw an elderly man coming across the street. “He looks like a very nice, old man…”

Joe squinted his eyes. “He can’t be trusted! He’d tattle to Pa!”

“Oh…”

Little Joe showed his most boyish and innocent grin as Sheriff Coffee came nearer, interestedly walking around the black stallion, scrutinizing the packing horse and finally stopping by.

“Hello, Little Joe!” His eyes glided over to Lilyah, not even trying to hide his curiosity. “Miss…?”

“Hello, Sheriff!” Joe performed a gallant bow in Lilyah’s direction. “May I introduce Miss Lilyah to you?”

“Miss Lilyah…” Sheriff Coffee politely tipped his head and turned to Joe. “What are you doing in town?” He threw another questioning look at the packing horse.

“Special request from Pa!” Joe stepped closer to the sheriff and went on in a confidential tone, “Pa asked me to accompany Miss Lilyah to Sacramento to meet her Aunt Abigail. It’s a family matter!”

“On horseback?” Sheriff Coffee looked from one to another in disbelief. “Wouldn’t it be much better to take the stage coach?”

“Miss Lilyah is an accomplished rider!” Joe did not move an eyelid. “And she insists on taking her very valuable stallion along!”

The sheriff looked at the black stallion again and weighed his head. “Hmm, yes… this is a very remarkable horse indeed. But – is there something wrong with his tail?”

“No…” Joe grinned as he saw the look on Lilyah’s face. “Sheriff, we really have to ride now! Pa would be very angry if he knew that I’m idling around.”

And again luck was on Joe’s side as right in that moment the sound of shooting came from the saloon opposite of the Livery stable, immediately catching the sheriff’s attention.

“Miss Lilyah, Little Joe…” Sheriff Coffee tipped his hat again. “Have a safe ride!”

They both nodded and watched him rushing off to the saloon, with Joe letting a sigh of relief.

“Sacramento?” Lilyah asked with slight bewilderment.

“That’s an entirely different route – because we’ll be going across Placerville!” Joe grinned and gave her a clever wink. “That’s strategy!” He jumped on Cochise and took the reins of the packing horse. “Come on, let’s get out of here!”

Lilyah mounted Chai. “I don’t have an Aunt Abigail! I only have two aunts, and their names are Fatima and Sulaika!”

“Trust me, aunts in Sacramento don’t go by the names of Fatima or Sulaika! They’re called Abigail, Elisabeth or Meredith or whatever!” He nudged Cochise into motion. “Let’s go, before he comes back!”
* * *

 

“Hey, Pa!” Hoss rumbled into the house. “Pa, it’s Bannings and some of his men!”

Ben looked up from his desk. He was in a sour mood, he had already gotten up in a sour mood and had had breakfast in a sour mood. Of course Miss Lilyah had not returned to the Ponderosa the previous evening, and his anger rekindled whenever he thought of that. Not even the wink of a smile showed on his face as he put the ledger away and got up.

“How come the men are back already? Weren’t they expected to help the Miller hands with the California cattle we bought?”

“Yes, Sir!” Hoss replied. “But it went much quicker than they thought, and ole Henry sent some of them home, thinkin’ they might be needed at the Ponderosa. He sends his gratitude that…” He broke off as his father passed him by and marched outside to get his own account from the men. Shrugging his shoulders, Hoss followed.

The hands really had not much more to tell. They had worked on the giant herd Ben Cartwright and Henry Miller had jointly bought after the drought in California had swept the half perished critters over to Nevada territory. Even though the cattle were in bad shape, it was premium livestock – and a good chance to buy it at lowest prices. Being the two biggest land owners in the area, they had planned to graze the stock back to shape and then divide the profits among them. Of course the Californian drought had brought too much cattle into a territory that in itself was not exactly blessed with limitless grazing grounds, and the cheap prices by desperate Californian owners enabled a lot of smaller ranchers to buy more stock than their land could support. Like Jeremiah Hatfield. So the biggest part of the work was not so much tending the cattle, but securing the sparse and valuable grasslands and pastures from intruders.

As it seemed, the men had rounded the herd in a valley which was quite easy to control, and knowing that both ranches – the Ponderosa and the Miller ranch – were short of hands, Miller had sent six of the Ponderosa hands home.

“Pa!” Hoss’s face showed that he just had a great idea. “Why not send them fellers after Adam? He has only four hands for 400 head, and you know the Eastgate trail is a darn rough one!”

“That’s his problem.” Ben’s mood immediately turned sour again.

“Come on, Pa…” A reproachful look showed on Hoss’s open face. “You know that trail is hard even if you have men enough. And now that Adam has the young lady with him, he’d sure like a minute for himself once in a while…”

“A young lady??” Six stubbly cowboy faces broke into all kinds of smug grins.

“Yes!” Hoss smirked. “The young lady set out to ride after Adam yesterday at noon, she’s with him on the trail now, and Adam…”

“This is of no concern whatsoever!” Ben’s harsh and icy tone was well versed to kill off every smile and smirk in a ten mile distance, his glowering look did the rest. Everybody started to deliberately study the tips of his own boots. Ben drew in a sharp breath. “Apart from this, he’s too far ahead.”

“Pa…” Hoss was not willing to give up. “Adam can’t go much faster than 10 to 15 miles a day if them critters shouldn’t lose weight, rather less in that rough terrain. He can’t be any further from here than 50 miles or so – them fellers could still catch up if they take replacement horses with them. Dadburnit, Pa, he really could use some more hands!” His blue eyes did not waver from his father’s severe look. “Dang, four men for 400 head on a trail like that is hell, Pa, and you know it!”

Ben pressed his lips together. Of course Hoss was right, yet this did nothing to soothe his simmering anger. He felt utterly overrun and outsmarted, and this was a feeling he absolutely loathed. Spreading out his arms, he reluctantly nodded his head. “Alright… alright! Bannings, you get the horses from the corral! You’re starting right now!”

The six cowboys hustled to get out of range of the boss’s looming ire.

Hoss complacently shoved his hands in his pockets, but his self-satisfied smile faded under his father’s flaming eyes. Pulling his head between his shoulders, he beat a hasty retreat into the barn.

Ben took a heavy breath and squinted his eyes. ‘You come home, Adam!’ he grimly thought. ‘You come home and I’ll skin you alive!’

* * *

 

 

16. Worries 

Adam felt the tension inside of him as he halted his chestnut on a small hill, stretching his hurting back. His eyes glided routinely over the resting cattle, a mass of dark bodies sparely lit by the pale moonlight, finally at ease again after the ruckus in the earlier hours of the night. He still did not know what exactly had panicked the herd, a puma perhaps or a wolf, but they had needed half the night to round the cattle up again. Adam had sent the badly overworked cowboys to sleep and took the watch for the rest of the night. He should be dead tired by now, yet the itching unrest in him kept him awake. He probably wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he had the chance to lie down.

But it wasn’t the herd causing his tension, not any pumas or wolves. Narrowing his eyes, he watched the horizon where the first dim stripe of the upcoming dawn could be foreseen, far out in the dry lands stretching up to the mountains. The very dry lands in which a man could walk for days without finding water or hope. He had been there… Adam could not prevent his thoughts from wandering back to the dead mine in which he had lost his humanity, his pride and his confidence. He had survived, had shrugged it all off and continued his life as if nothing had happened, but the scars were there. Perfectly hidden and invisible to the world, but still hurting inside.

Adam shifted uncomfortably in the saddle. There was no need for him to ride on his watch, he could as well observe the area from the large rock overlooking the resting herd, give his horse its deserved rest and relax his own aching bones. Clenching his teeth, he admitted to himself that he felt safer on horseback. An irrational sentiment, when it had not been force that had thrown him into hell’s ditch, but his own inflexibility, his own abstracted ideals and standards. Everybody who could look through his set of values had an easy game. And he could not fight when he had to.

He pulled his jacket closer around him and tried to shift his thoughts onto something more soothing. Lilyah… maybe he should take her to that exact dreaded spot. Maybe her beauty, her laughter and her warmth would drive away his hidden fears, banish them forever, finally healing his wounds. What might she be doing right now? Adam pressed his lips together and the warm smile that had just appeared in his eyes died off again, all his restlessness coming back. He could not prevent the haunting feeling that she was not having an undisturbed, peaceful time at the Ponderosa, that something might have happened, that she might be driven away. He could only hope that Hoss would get her to the Hackett farm if she had to leave. In a mixture of pain and shame Adam closed his eyes. He should have provided for her much better than he did, not leaving it up to his brother to care for her if need should be. And deep in his inside, the fear of losing reared its head again.

The faint sound of approaching hooves snapped him out of his brooding thoughts.

Adam was on immediate alert. Pulling his gun, he directed the chestnut down the hill and up another slope from where he had a better look into the direction of the steadily nearing sound. Waiting in the shadow of a large boulder, he would be invisible for everyone coming close. It wasn’t before long that he could see the figures of half a dozen riders emerging from the dimming twilight.

“Who’s there?” he called out sharply.

“Adam Cartwright?” a vaguely familiar voice called back. “Ed Bannings here! We’re comin’ from the Ponderosa!”

Adam shoved his gun back into the holster and rode out of the shadow. Now he recognized the men; his brow arching in slight surprise.

“Hope you have some coffee ready!” Ed Bannings halted his horse and grinned. “Ain’t got more than a handful of sleep this night!”

“Could use some myself!” Adam replied and startled as the cowboys pulled up around him. A cloud of cologne hung in the air. Motioning his chestnut backwards to get out of the rather obnoxious odor he tried his best to not pull a face. Maybe he had missed out on the latest fashion craze in Virginia City.

“What brings you up here?” he asked as they rode into the small makeshift camp. By now the dawn had set in, it was time to have breakfast anyway.

Bannings was still grinning. “Your brother Hoss thought ya could use some more hands on the trail!”

“That’s certainly right!” Adam dismounted and turned to the almost burnt down campfire, just to startle again as he saw the cowboys fidgeting around with their clothing, adjusting their hats and bandanas, one even hastily combing his hair before putting the hat back on. Shaking his head he bowed down to pick up some firewood.

“The young lady’s still sleeping?” Bannings asked.

Adam froze in place, the wood chunks slipping from his hands.

“Young lady?” He straightened himself out, eyes squinted on the cowboy.

“Yeah!” Bannings’ grin became penetrant as he looked around. “That’s quite something, havin’ a woman on the trail!”

“There is no woman on this trail.” Adam said slowly, in a low voice; the look in his eyes wiped the grin from Bannings’ face. “What makes you think so?”

Bannings knitted his brows. “Your brother Hoss said that young lady rode after you, yesterday… no, the day before yesterday! A day before we started!”

“Hoss said that?” Adam felt as if the blood was drained from his face; something was cramping up inside of him. “When?”

“As I said, we started out from the Ponderosa shortly before midday. The lady started the day before…” He scanned Adam’s face. “Your brother thinks she’s here with you.”

Adam swallowed hard, fighting to get some order in his racing thoughts, trying to grapple the growing panic. “Did my father say anything?”

“No. But he was mighty upset! In fact, never seen him that mad…”

“No one’s looking for her?”

The cowboy pulled a confused face. “No… she’s supposed to be here. Your brother Hoss said that now that she’s with you you’d like a minute for yourself now and then…”

Adam turned abruptly and rapidly crossed the campsite. “Benson!” His voice was loud and sharp. “Benson!!”

One of the curled up figures sleeping at the site of the camp moved. “Wha…?”

“Benson, get up!” The aggressive edge in Adam’s voice brought Lew Benson up to his feet, the other three men also rose, muttering some complaints about being awakened so rudely.

Adam ripped some papers out of his jacket’s inner pocket and shoved them into the surprised Benson’s hands. “You take over the trail! See to it that you get 10 dollars per head! Bannings and his men have joined up, the drive should be easier from now on!”

Lew Benson’s mouth hung open as he stared on the papers. “But… I mean… what…” He looked up to Adam but the eldest Cartwright son had already turned to his horse. The man was dumbstruck. “But… Adam… Mr. Cartwright…”

Adam had mounted his horse, his agitation causing the chestnut to whirl around on his haunches. “How long have you worked for us?”

“Eleven years…”

“Long enough! I trust you with this, Benson!” With these words he kicked the chestnut into a gallop and raced out of the camp.

The cowboys looked at each other, flabbergasted. “Boy, will his old man be mad!” someone said.

Lew Benson put the papers in his pocket and propped out his chest. This was a lifetime chance and he was not going to disappoint the trust that was so suddenly and unexpectedly placed into him.
* * *

 

“Lilyah! Wait…” Little Joe pulled a frustrated face as he reined in Cochise. The pinto was exhausted, the packing horse was exhausted, and so was he. It was time for a rest. “The horses can’t hold this beat much longer!”

Lilyah turned in the saddle. “I’ve told you, you should not canter all the time! Horses can trot for hours, but cantering will exhaust them!”

Now great! A riding lesson from Miss Know-it-all! She obviously had spent too much time with Adam lately… Joe brought Cochise alongside her and noticed with some irk that the black stallion did not have a wet hair in his coat. He had trotted and trotted and trotted, in his exceptionally wide strides, with not much care that the other two horses had to canter every so often in order to catch up.

“It’s getting dark!” Joe tried a dominant posture. “I’d say it’s better we rest now and then continue later in the night. That way we can cover a good amount of miles when it’s cool, before the hottest part of the day sets in!”

“That’s a good idea!” Lilyah said diplomatically. “Just like last night!”

Joe’s brows built an unhappy triangle over pained eyes. Last night… She had slept rolled up at her horse’s neck for something like four hours and then had been up again. ‘But, Joe…’ she had said as she woke him. ‘You said we have to hurry…’ 

“It’s the pack horse!” He started looking around for a suitable campsite. “He is not as good as he looked at first, and we have to take that into consideration. It won’t help us a bit if he breaks down!”

“You’re certainly right!” she said peacefully and followed him to a small clearing next to the rough path they had been riding along. Sliding from Chai, she asked, “Shall I look for firewood?”

“No, I’ll do that! You take care of your horse!” The last time she had looked for firewood she had picked up the freshest and dampest logs possible – unusable for a campfire because the moist wood would have sent smoke signals all over the territory. Stifling a yawn, he unsaddled Cochise, relieved the pack horse from its load and tied both horses with long reins on a bush. Lilyah of course took great care brushing her stallion, checking on his hooves and then let him romp free, and by now Joe had realized that she could safely do so. The black Arabian not only did not run away, he even was there to lie down when she went to sleep, cuddled up at his neck.

“Shall I prepare the beans?” she asked as the campfire was burning.

“Oh, no, I’ll do that.” Joe grinned. “You burnt them last time. We’ve lost a pot because of it.”

“That wasn’t my fault! Something must have been wrong with those beans.”

“Sure thing…” Joe smirked. Poor Adam…

“Alright, then I’ll look after the horses. They both could use some care!”

He was about to object, but then he just watched. Cochise – his Cochise – not only let her fondle and brush him, he even let her have his hooves. He wasn’t that sweet with anyone, not even with Hoss. She might have her antics, but she certainly had a way with horses.

Pouring a can of beans into the pan – since the pot was gone – Joe relaxed and began to see the good things in the fast ride. They had covered an amazing distance in the past two days, and would most likely reach Placerville at dawn. Given the sensation Lilyah had been in Virginia City, Joe was glad that they would be able to pass through Placerville during the dog hours, most likely unseen and unnoticed. And they had a good chance to make it to the Ortega ranch in less than four days. He yawned again, but this time his yawn emerged into a simper. ‘Evita and Dolores,’ he thought, ‘I’m coming!’
* * *

 

“Who could that be at this hour of the night?” Ben looked up from his book as the sound of hastening hooves could be heard from outside.

“I’ll go check!” Hoss put down the latest edition of Harper’s Weekly and got up. He hadn’t even turned when the door flew open.

“Where is she?”

“Adam…” Hoss broke off when he noticed his older brother’s disheveled look. He couldn’t have had a shave for at least two days, and he looked as if he hadn’t slept for days, either.

“Hoss, where’s Lilyah? Did she come back?” Adam’s eyes seemed to be begging. He had searched the area, he had been to the Hackett farm, his last hope now was that she had returned to the Ponderosa. Hoss’s answer shattered this hope.

“Ain’t she with you?”

“No…” For a moment, Adam looked like a broken man, his darkened eyes lost focus as he shook his head.

Ben slowly got up. “What are you doing here?”

Adam straightened as he heard his father’s voice, visibly pulling himself together to assume a collected composure. “I’m looking for Lilyah. She has not arrived at the trail.”

Ben stood still. He strenuously forced himself to subdue his voice, stressing every word. “Who is with the herd?”

Adam’s head snapped around. “Is that all you can think of? The herd?” He took a tremorous breath and spat out the next words. “I’ve made Lew Benson the trail boss. He’ll bring the herd to Eastgate!”

“You – did – WHAT?” Ben exploded. He lunged forward so furiously that he knocked his knee at the table in front of the hearth. It looked as if he was about to jump at his son. “You left a herd of 400 head to a ranch hand to chase after a woman? Are you completely out of your mind? What were you thinking? Were you thinking anything at all? For Pete’s sake, ADAM!”

Adam gritted his teeth, trembling inside, but he still held on to his composure. “Pa, she’s out there – alone!”

“You shouldn’t have asked her to follow you in the first place!” Ben was boiling with rage. “Serves you right that she apparently changed her mind about your little tete-a-tete!”

Adam stared at his father, and there was a burning in his eyes that stopped Ben dead in his track. “I did not ask her anything! I thought she would be safe here at the Ponderosa, that she would be looked after, but apparently I was mistaken!”

Hoss shifted uncomfortably at the bitterness in his brother’s voice. “You reckon somethin’s happened to her?”

Adam nodded his head, his restless eyes revealing his distress. “She’s out there, all alone…”

Ben did not know what to make of the whole thing. Something in him clinged to his anger, was not ready to let go. “And how would you know that she’d left?”

“Bannings told me so!”

“She might just have changed her mind and rode to Virginia City instead, she’s still got a hotel room there and she might have preferred to use it. There’s no need to fret.” Ben was completely thrown off track. It slowly dawned in on him that his son was in absolute desolation, and apparently worried sick. “She certainly can take care of herself, and she knows the area. She’s an excellent rider, after all, she had no problems riding 1800 miles through the country, from St. Louis to Virginia City, and…”

Adam flew around, losing his nerves, shouting. “Damnit, Pa, she followed a stage coach!”

Ben did not trust his ears. “What did you just say?” As long as he could remember, he never recalled Adam swearing, not ever.

“She followed a stage coach!” Adam frantically started pacing up and down, his voice getting louder and louder. “She trailed it from one way station to the next! She can ride alright, but she wouldn’t find her way from here to Virginia City if left on her own! This woman couldn’t even heat up a can of beans for herself!” He stopped at the settee, trying to catch his breath, forcing himself to calm down and regain his composure.

“Adam…” Hoss tried a reassuring tone. “If anything had happened to her, the grasshopper would’ve come back. Remember you done told me what an intelligent horse…”

“No.” Adam’s eyes nervously flickered, not able anymore to focus on anything. “Chai would not move an inch from her side…” He closed his eyes, but he could not help the image emerging in his mind. Her small bloodied body slumped to the ground, the black stallion standing beside, nudging her, helplessly and futilely trying to wake her up. With a groan he snapped around.

“I’ll go get the sheriff. He’s got to get a posse together!” He headed for the door.

“Adam!” Ben stepped in his way, grabbing his arm. “It’s late, you won’t be in town before midnight, there is nothing that Roy could do during the night…”

“Leave me alone!” Adam pushed his father aside, so hard that Ben stumbled backwards against the credenza. Before he could recover his balance, Adam had left the house.

“Pa, he don’t mean it!” Hoss did not wait another moment, but ran after his brother.
* * *

 

“Adam! Adam, wait!” Hoss covered the distance with giant steps, reaching his brother just as Adam had begun untying his horse. “Hey, Adam, hold it… you can’t ride that horse, you’ve ridden the poor critter half to death already.”

Adam flinched as his hand touched the chestnut’s wet, sweat-soaked coat. “I… guess I’ll have to get another horse…”

“Come on, Adam, Pa’s right…” Hoss put his arm around his brother’s shoulders. He could feel that Adam shirked back from the touch, but he tightened his hold and literally impounded him in his grip. “The sheriff couldn’t do a dang thing in that dark, the men won’t see the hand in front of their eyes! They can’t do nothin’ before sunup!”

“Then I’ll look for her on my own.” Adam tried to get himself out of Hoss’s arm, but it was a feeble attempt. And Hoss would not let go.

“You won’t see nothin’ much either!” Hoss pressed his lips together as he noticed his brother’s weakness beneath the nervous tension, as he felt the inner trembling of his exhausted body. Adam must have been running on his last reserves. “Adam, when did you sleep last? Or had some grub?”

Adam did not respond.

“Dadburnit, you can’t go on like this! You’d probably last some more hours, hours in which you can’t do nothin’ in that dark, and by the morning you’d fall from your horse! Maybe just at the time the little lady needs you!” Hoss felt that he had touched a string. “Hey, older brother, I tell you sumthin’! You have a nap and some sleep, and we’ll ride to Virginia City first thing in the morning! Before sunup! How’s that sound to you?”

Adam took a deep breath and finally nodded his head. “I’ll stable the horse…”

“Don’t worry about the horse, I’ll take care of that! But first thing I’ll get you stabled!”

The faint shade of a smile stole on Adam’s lips as he turned his head, giving his brother a look from the corner of his eye. He didn’t say anything. He did not need to.

“Come on!” Hoss propped up his chin and motioned his brother back to the house. He felt a bit sorry for the horse standing there in that bad shape and still under saddle, but first he had to take care to safely navigate Adam around Pa. The last thing that older brother needed right now was another stupid, useless confrontation.
* * *

 

17. Hurt 

Hoss pressed his lips together as he watched his older brother putting on his gun belt. It was not that Adam’s appearance was anywhere as disheveled as last night – the opposite was the case. Clean shaven, the black hair immaculately combed back, clad in fresh clothes, his face a wall of controlled calmness; at first glance Adam seemed every inch his usual self. Yet his eyes were darker than they should be, with deep rings beneath them, his movements were a wee bit too abrupt, his jaw a tad too tight. Hoss was not sure, but he even thought that Adam looked pale, and maybe he did after less than five hours of sleep, with God knows what worries in his heart. He had not spent any more than maybe two minutes at the breakfast table, having barely eaten anything, just downed a cup of coffee and got up again just as their father had taken his seat.

Hoss took a glance at his father, who sat at the breakfast table alone, in front of his untouched plate. A part of him felt sorry for his Pa, but deep inside he also felt anger. ‘Blame yourself, Pa’, he thought. ‘Why couldn’t you just let him have some fun time with his little lady? Happens rarely enough for ol’ Adam’. He hastily stuffed the rest of his turkey sandwich into his mouth as Adam took his hat and left the house. Grabbing for his own hat and gun belt, Hoss followed.

Adam walked up to the barn with a fast and steady step, as upright as if he had swallowed a walking stick. Hoss did not like it the least bit. Not that he would have wanted his brother to break down, or lose his composure, but bottling it all up inside of him wasn’t a good thing either. Hoss watched as Adam checked on his chestnut, examining the swollen legs of the overstrained horse, and then looked around in the barn for another mount. The mere fact that he did not object to his younger brother tapping after him like a worried mama bear was reason enough for Hoss to be concerned. He almost wished for his older brother to turn around and shoot off one of his sarcastic remarks, but nothing like that happened. Adam decided on a lean golden bay and wordlessly began saddling the horse.

Hoss turned to his own horse and held his breath as their father came into the barn. To his relief, Ben walked over to his buckskin and grabbed for his saddle blanket. Bridling Chubb, Hoss glanced to Adam. His older brother did not even seem to notice that he wasn’t alone in the barn. His face was taciturn, as if he had completely closed up.

“Adam…” Ben begun as they all three led their horses outside. “I tried to stop her when she left, but I couldn’t catch up with that black horse.”

Adam just nodded his head and mounted the golden bay. He rode out of the yard without looking at anyone.
* * *

 

Sheriff Coffee was busy as the three Cartwrights rode up in front of his office. Energetically and without much fuss he shoveled a couple of staggering cowboys out of his door, who obviously were not all too fond of leaving jail. Some muttered complaints about being awakened at an ungodly hour, one whined about a headache.

“This is not a hotel, fellows!” The sheriff grabbed a guy by the scruff who wanted to return into the office and shoved him onto the street. “You had your time out for sobering up, and now off you go!”

The cowboy grabbed for a hold at a post and complained about not having had any breakfast. Apparently he was far from having sobered up.

“Can you believe it?” Sheriff Coffee smirked as he looked up to Ben. “They have the impertinence to ask for breakfast!”

Ben frowned as he recognized two Ponderosa hands among the drunkards, one of them Jed Higgins. “What happened, Roy? Why did you lock them up?”

“Aw, nothing much, Ben! They’d got a little too happy last night, that’s all.”

“Sheriff!” Adam’s voice cut in sharp as he dismounted and stepped on the office’s porch. “You need to get a couple of men ready! A young woman got lost, about three days ago!”

The sheriff squinted at Adam. “Three days ago, you say? A young woman?”

A drunken laughter rose from the little bunch of cowboys. “Hey, Cartwright, yer colored gal ran away?”

Adam did not move. He recognized Higgin’s voice and he knew about the hand’s resentment towards him. Drunken as the man was, he dared what he wouldn’t have dared when sober. It did not touch him. “Roy, I fear for the worst. She’s not accustomed to being alone in the wilderness. We have to hurry, if…”

“A young woman?” Sheriff Coffee repeated. “A very foreign looking lady perhaps, with a very unusual looking, long-legged black stallion?” He nodded his head as he read the mute affirmation in Adam’s eyes. “She was here, three days ago, with Little Joe!”

“With… Little Joe?” For a moment, Adam felt nothing but unspeakable relief. She was alive – and with Little Joe around, she had protection.

“With Little Joe?” Ben hollered as he drew closer. A bad suspicion rose in him.

“Dang!” Sheriff Coffee made a rapid movement with his hand. “I knew there was something fishy about it! I even was thinking of riding up to the Ponderosa, but I couldn’t get away.” He looked at Ben. “You have not, by any chance, asked Little Joe to accompany her to Sacramento – on horseback?”

“I have what??” Ben scowled.

“To visit her Aunt Abigail in Sacramento?” the sheriff continued.

“Roy, wait a minute.” Adam’s brow had furrowed. “Three days ago, you say? It…” He broke off. “An aunt in Sacramento? She does not have any relatives in America…”

“That’s what Little Joe told me!” Sheriff Coffee looked from one to another. “I met them at the livery stable, they had a pack horse and all.”

“A pack horse?” Adam met his father’s eyes and before anyone could say anything, he went off to the livery stable across the street.

Ben rushed after him, Sheriff Coffee and Hoss exchanged a look and followed as hastily.

The owner of the livery stable could well remember Little Joe’s visit and willingly told all he knew – that they had bought the pack horse plus supplies for five days, and that they had been in the bank before they came to him.

“The bank is still closed!” Ben pulled his watch out of the pocket and checked the time. “It will open in about half an hour! I hope your brother has not been driven into anything he will regret!”

Adam did not reply, he did not even look. His thoughts were racing. Lilyah had told him that she had no relatives in America, at least not any she would know of. Her mother’s family had lived in Boston, but she never knew any of them; her only contact in Boston had been an agent’s office – the one who had found out the whereabouts of Ben Cartwright. The only aunts she had ever mentioned were her Aunt Fatima in Ras Madeeh, and another aunt in Agadir – both places in Morocco. His thoughts wandered back to the night they had said good-bye. She had told him she would be there when he returned.

“Hey, Cartwright!” a drunken voice called out. “Yer girl took off with yer little brother, heh?” It was not Higgins, but one of his peers. Driven by curiosity, the whole bunch had assembled nearby, Higgins leering between them, careful to keep in the background, but constantly muttering under his breath. Whatever he was muttering, it made the others sneer.

“Don’t you listen to them fellers.” Hoss put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “They’re just drunken fools!”

“Saw them the other day!” Another of the drunkards made himself heard. “Young Cartwright was mighty sweet with her! Strutted around her like a peacock!”

“Ho! That strange lady was mighty sweet with young Cartwright!”

“Some ‘lady’, my foot!” One of the fellows spat out. “I know an Injun when I see one, and that dolled up red skin…” he did not get any further. Before Hoss could react, Adam had charged forward and landed a hard blow at the drunkard’s chin. The man flew backwards into the dust of the street.

“Adam!” Hoss and Ben both hastened to grab hold of him and were both pushed aside as Adam jumped at another of the drunkards, his fist sending the man spiraling to the ground.

“Adam!” Ben grabbed onto his shoulders and violently jerked him back. “She’s not worth it, son.”

Adam flew around so rapidly that for a moment it looked as if he was going to hit his father. His right hand was balled to a fist, his darkened eyes gloomed. “What did you say?” His voice was merely a whisper. “What did you just say?”

Ben inadvertently did a step backwards. Couldn’t Adam see that this woman had turned her back on him? Ran away with his younger brother? Betrayed his trust? He saw the fury in Adam’s eyes as his son moved towards him.

“Adam, come on!” Hoss flung both arms around his brother and dragged him away from their father, his enormous strength paralyzing Adam’s resistance. “Pa did’n mean it, Adam, he’s just worried, come on, calm down! Easy… Hey, older brother, maybe they left a letter at the bank to explain everything! Let’s wait for that, huh? Come on, hold it, old boy.. easy like…” He continued to talk, not loosening his grip on his brother, until he noticed that Adam gradually regained his composure. He felt him straightening and watched his face turning from burning agitation to restrained coldness. It was almost as if he watched an actor putting on a mask and preparing himself for stage. Hoss shot a reproachful look at his father and noticed from the corner of his eye that Sheriff Coffee was busy chasing the drunkards away.

“Let me go… I’m not a horse!” Adam wrestled himself out of Hoss’s grip, but his eyes held no anger for his brother. He shouldn’t have lost his nerves like this. Taking a deep breath, he struggled to overcome the dreaded fear that was once again looming inside of him.

Hoss tried what he hoped would be a reassuring grin and silently decided not to move an inch from his brother’s side. He could feel Adam’s inner turmoil and dreaded the moment when the bottled up emotions would erupt.

“There comes Bradbourne!” Ben pointed across the street where the banker was walking towards the bankhouse. “Now we will get to the very bottom of all this!”

Everybody rushed towards the bank.
* * *

 

Theobald Bradbourne was somewhat taken aback as three Cartwrights plus Sheriff Coffee followed him into his office before he could have a chance to get settled and prepared for the day. Retreating behind his fine carved oak desk, he uncomfortably sorted through his papers and repeated what he had already said three times before.

“Yes, young Mr. Cartwright and Miss Al-Sharieh have consulted me in a strictly confidential matter. My discretion does not allow me to disclose the nature of our business.” He looked up to Ben. “Ben, you should understand this!”

“I do understand this, Theo! But this is a singular situation, it concerns my youngest son, I have to know what went about!”

“Sorry, Ben.” Bradbourne shook his head and couldn’t help a smile. “But you can believe me, gentlemen, it’s nothing to worry about! They were such a nice couple…”

Adam lost his patience once again. Reaching over the desk, he clutched the banker by his neck and almost lifted him from his seat. “I won’t ask you again – WHAT did they do in this bank?”

“Adam! What’s gotten into you, boy?” Ben tried to pull his son away and was in turn pushed aside by Hoss who grabbed Adam’s shoulders. All three plunged over the desk and an exasperated Mr. Bradbourne called for the sheriff’s assistance. Roy Coffee threw himself in the bulk and accidently knocked a lamp from the desk. It took a while until everybody calmed down again.

“Theo, please!” Ben finally said, in a deep, imploring voice. “If it is what I fear, please tell us all you know! Don’t let a young man ruin his life!”

Adam jolted at these words but pulled himself together when he felt Hoss’s hand squeeze his shoulder.

The banker’s eyes had widened, his face revealed that he just had an unpleasant thought he obviously had not harbored before. “I understand… it’s because of her color. Well, I… I certainly noticed she was of a darker complexion, but since she seemed foreign and wealthy, I thought…” He looked from one to another. “You see, I’m a banker, and my discretion…”

“Mr. Bradbourne,” Sheriff Coffee chimed in. “I guess in this particular instance you might safely abandon your discretion.”

Bradbourne nodded his head. “I don’t like doing this, but… maybe you are right. They have sold a precious piece of Oriental jewelry for the sum of 3000 dollars. They talked about a surprise, and seemed very happy. From the few words they exchanged, I was under the impression that they plan to marry…”

“MARRY???” Ben let such a roar that he swallowed the wrong way and started to cough. The sheriff helpfully patted his back.

Adam had turned pale. Without a word, he turned around and left.
* * *

 

“Adam, wait!” Hoss ran across the street and approached his brother who was standing in front of the livery stable, checking the tack of the golden bay. “What are you up to?”

“I’m going after them!”

“You can’t catch up! They’re three days ahead.”

“I’ll take replacement horses with me!” Adam turned around and shouted into the stable, “Where are those horses?”

“Gosh, lad, me can’t fly!” a voice from inside called back.

Hoss helplessly looked over his shoulder. Even though he knew that it was better to keep his father and his older brother as far apart as even possible right now, he longed for his Pa’s help. “Adam, you done told me that no one can ever catch up with that black stallion.”

Adam stared at him and the intensity in his look hurt Hoss beyond means. There was so much pain in those eyes. “Chai is fast, yes…” Adam’s voice turned bitter as he added, “But Joe’s horse is not!”

Hoss felt so bad. “That paint pony can run quite a mile, Adam…”

Adam turned his back to his brother and closed his burning eyes. He had to try… he had to go after them! He could not believe that Lilyah would do this to him, and he had to see her and find out what this was all about. He had to look her in the eye. He gritted his teeth to fight down the pain, the fear, the confusion.

“Adam!” That was Ben, crossing the street with hurried steps, the sheriff in tow. “Adam, what are you doing?”

Adam did not answer but directed his attention to the first two horses that were led out of the stable, patting over their legs. “Not quite your first selection, eh?” His voice was sharp, almost cold. He did what he could to keep his pain inside of him.

“The best me got!” the unfazed reply came. “Your brother bought the best runner coupla days ago.”

Adam flinched and his jaw tightened.

“Adam, I’m talking to you!” Ben drew closer and reached out for his son’s arm.

Adam rudely brushed him off and walked into the stable. “Tom, I need two more! And the tack to lead them!”

Ben angrily took after him and grabbed his arm. “Boy, you’re not going to ignore me like that!”

Adam snapped around, his eyes narrowed. “Sorry, Pa, but I’m in no particular need for any fatherly advice right now!”

The sarcastic remark took Ben’s breath away. “Not in that tone, young man! Good Lord, what has that nefarious woman made out of you?”

“Pa… Adam…” No one heard Hoss’s unhappy call.

“Don’t you talk about her like that!” Adam hissed, his eyes turning black. “I wouldn’t take that from anyone, and I won’t take it from you again!”

“You are still defending her?” Ben could not believe it. “Adam, she made a fool out of you! She ran off with your brother the minute you turned your back on her! And you…”

“For heaven’s sake, Pa, SHUT UP!” Adam pushed him back so hard that Ben lost his balance and fell into the straw. For a moment Adam seemed dismayed by what he had done, but then he abruptly turned around and snatched the long lead ropes of the two new horses from the stable owner’s hands.

Ben got back on his legs. “Adam, you are not going after them! You are not going after Joe like this!”

“Leave me alone!” Adam began leading the two horses out of the stables.

“Adam!” Ben took after him. “Son, you listen to me…”

Adam dodged around his father’s grip. “You’re spooking the horses!” Without looking at Ben, he began to tie the lead ropes of the four increasingly nervous horses together.

“Adam!” By now Ben was seriously enraged and charged forward to grab his son’s arm again. Adam rapidly turned and pushed his elbow backwards to fend his father off. Ben received a harsh blow in the ribs, but the physical pain was nothing against the shock that his own son was reacting like this at all. As Adam attempted to mount the golden bay, Ben grasped his shirt and whirled him around. “You won’t go!”

“Get your hands off me!” Adam pushed him away again, but Ben did not waver. As Adam was halfways mounted, Ben ripped him off the horse before he had his right leg over the saddle. Adam lost his balance and fell. He was back on his feet within a second and furiously lunged against his father.

“Adam!” Hoss threw himself between them. “Dang, Adam, what are you doing?”

“Get out of my way!” Adam yelled and his fist crashed against Hoss’s chin.

The huge man stumbled backwards and shook his head. “Adam…”

Adam snapped around and attempted to mount the skittish golden bay a second time. Hoss seized him with both hands and tore him off the horse again, yet taking care that he would not fall.

“Adam, Pa’s right! Nothin’ good is comin’…”

Adam’s fist flew against his head again, and before Hoss could shake off the blow, a second hook came flying. Pressing his lips together, Hoss lashed out himself and sent his brother gyrating into one of the stalls. Shaking his head and rubbing his chin, Adam staggered back to his feet.

“Adam, please…” Hoss’s plea was a mere whisper, but he knew that Adam would not hear him if he were to shout at the top of his lungs. “Adam…”

Adam attacked again, his fists flying against his brother in a rapid staccato. Hoss fended off the blows, clutched his brother’s body and vigorously threw him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him. His heart was hurting. He and Adam had had their rows before, but it never had been serious. Not really. He would not hit his brother with his full force, and Adam would not attack him in earnest. Not usually… Hoss bit his lip. There had been a time once, a single incident, when he had really attacked Adam – about two years ago, when he had been so mad at him that he had attempted to seriously beat him up. Adam had not struck back once.

“Older brother…” Hoss felt a lump in his throat as Adam vaulted towards him again, fighting him with everything he had, his fists hammering into him. Hoss had trouble keeping on his feet. He was a giant and had much more strength than Adam, but his brother was a tough and hard fighter. And still the dominating thought in Hoss’s mind was that Adam’s eyes were tearing. Pulling himself together, he shot off his own fists, partially out of reflex and partially to put an end to this. It took him several hard blows until Adam finally broke down and his body stretched out on the ground.

“Adam…” Hoss fell on his knees beside him. His brother was out cold. Hoss’s fingers touched the pale face, wiped a single tear from the corner of one of Adam’s closed eyes. “Adam, I’m so sorry…” In an unthinking move, his fingers attempted to brush back the disheveled black hair.

Ben crouched beside him and quickly examined his oldest son, noticing to his relief that Adam wasn’t seriously hurt. “He’ll be alright, son! You know he has a hard skull!”

Hoss swallowed down a reply. “I’ll get him to the doctor…”

“That won’t be necessary!” Ben gave Hoss a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “He’ll be out for awhile and then he’ll be alright.”

Sheriff Coffee bowed over them. “The cells are all free right now. You can bring him over and he can sleep it off in jail.”

Ben nodded his head and Hoss scooped Adam’s limp body in his arms. He lifted him up with no effort. “He didn’t mean it, Pa. He was hurtin’ all morning, he had to get it out somehow.”

“Yes…” Ben’s face darkened. “That’s what this woman did to him, and now she’s doing the same to Joe.”

Hoss scowled and shifted Adam’s weight in his arms. “Pa, I’d wish you’d stop talkin’ ’bout this woman! It helps nothin’ and only hurts him more!”

Ben frowned as he watched his middle son carrying his silent load to the sheriff’s office.
* * *

 

“Never seen Adam like that,” Sheriff Coffee remarked as they all had reached the sheriff’s office.

Ben stood still, turning Adam’s black hat that he had picked up in the livery stable in his hands. His eyes hung at the door leading to the cells where Hoss was with his still unconscious brother. “He’s completely beside himself ever since that woman arrived.” His voice sounded bitter. “She has turned him upside down, he’s forgotten everything around him! He just isn’t himself anymore!”

“So she was Adam’s girl before?” The sheriff fingered three cups from a shelf and checked on his coffee pot.

Ben turned around, exasperated. “No, she was not! He had taken a liking to her, but she kept throwing things at him…” He stopped as he saw the expression on the sheriff’s face. It was almost as if Roy was tempted to chuckle. Clutching the black hat, he spouted out, “She’s no woman for him! She’s like her father, they destroy whatever they get their hands on!”

“Her father?” The sheriff divided the rest of his coffee equally between the three mugs.

“That’s a long story, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the current situation!” Ben angrily pushed the air through his nose. “Isn’t it telling enough that she ran off with Joe? Pitting brother against brother?”

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. In came Tom, the stable owner, and demanded to know what he should do with those four replacement horses, and who would pay for them. He hastily did a step backwards as the oldest Cartwright flew around, a thunderstorm on his face.

“Those horses won’t be needed anymore! I’m sorry, Tom, but you can stable them back in!” From the corner of his eye Ben saw Roy Coffee raising his brows. “What?”

The sheriff circumstantially took a seat behind his desk. “Ben, you know Adam! He’s got a stubborn head!”

Ben propped out his chin. “Where do you think he’s got it from?” Turning to the stable owner, he repeated, “As said, those horses won’t be needed!”

The stable owner pouted and left the office, muttering under his breath.

“And what are you going to do when he wakes up?” the sheriff asked casually.

“Talk some sense into him!” Ben started pacing up and down. “But I sure know that I will not let him go after Joe! Not in that… condition!” He stopped at the sheriff’s desk. “Roy, he attacked Hoss! He would’ve attacked me had it not been for Hoss! Can you imagine what happens when he meets with Joe? In that state of mind he’s in?”

“Joe’s three days ahead.” The sheriff pushed one of the mugs in Ben’s direction. “By the time Adam catches up, he should’ve calmed down. If he catches up at all – odds are he won’t.”

“I’m not going to take the risk!” Wildly gesticulating about, Ben went on. “He might not catch up before they reach Sacramento, but he will catch them. You know Adam when he’s set his mind on something. Roy, he got himself four replacement horses, for crying out loud! Four!! God help me, but I’m not going to let two of my sons fight each other over that… that… woman!”

“Ben, you make me nervous waving that hat around!” Sheriff Coffee pointed to his wardrobe. “You can put it there!”

Ben heaved an angry breath and slowly turned towards the wardrobe, placing Adam’s black hat on it without letting it go, looking at the small silver rivets as if he had not ever noticed them before. Adam had always been the firmest and most reasonable of his three sons. The cool one, the rational one, the one who would never, ever act without giving it some thorough thought before, stoic, solid as a rock, the one whose reliability could always be counted on. Why couldn’t he simply use his habitual, logical reason and just be himself again? Ben finally let go of the hat and rapidly turned to the sheriff again. He had more things to worry about. Adam would eventually regain his senses, but what would happen to his youngest?

“Roy!” He placed both hands on the sheriff’s desk. “I want you to telegraph every sheriff’s office between here and Sacramento! If they see Joe or that woman, they should hold them up! Lock them in, if need be!”

Sheriff Coffee raised his brows. “On what grounds?”

“On what grounds?” Ben burst out. “They’re about to… they could… Joe is thinking of… she could make him marry her!” He almost choked on the word ‘marry’.

“I can’t see what I can do.” Roy kept his calm demeanor.

“Joe’s too young to marry! He’s still a boy!”

Roy pursed his lips. “He turned 22 this year, didn’t he?”

Ben squirmed about his next words, but his fury won out. “Roy, he could get in serious trouble with this. I hate to even mention it, but – she’s not white!”

“Yes, I see…” the sheriff reluctantly nodded his head. “But she’s a foreigner, Ben, and such a marriage might still be legal in her country, or in Mexico even. She’s not black, after all, I’ve seen Mexicans that were darker than that. There’s no reason to put the law on their heels right now.”

Ben looked as if he was about to explode, but somehow the sheriff’s words sunk in. He knew that there was nothing he could do. Even if they would chase after Joe, they would never catch up with them before they reached Sacramento. With a groan, Ben let himself fall in the chair in front of the desk. And to think that it had been him who had made Joe ride out with that woman! He had been so sure that he would not be attracted to her, he had even overheard him joking about her looking as if she were from a century or two ago. He pressed his lips together. He should have known better. There wasn’t a young woman in a hundred mile distance that Joe would not fall for if given the chance.

“Pa…” Hoss came in, Adam’s gun belt in his hands. “Pa, I’ve been thinkin’… what if that aunt in Sacramento is for real?” His blue eyes hopingly looked from one to another. “And the little lady’s got a telegraph about it and decided to go there? Had to, perhaps, that aunt might have had an accident or somethin’! And Little Joe just went along to make sure she’s safe?”

“Hoss…” Ben shook his head. “Then why would Joe have lied to Roy? Where would that telegraph been sent to? And according to Adam, she did not know anything about an aunt in Sacramento before he left for the trail!” He saw the discomfort on Hoss’s open face. “How’s Adam? He’s still unconscious?”

“Sure is…” Hoss pressed his lips together and placed the gun belt on the sheriff’s desk. “I reckon he’ll sleep for at least one more hour. Dadburnit, Pa, I’ll go check with the telegraph office anyway.”

Ben sighed as Hoss left the sheriff’s office. What was this whole thing doing to his family? He never should have allowed that woman into the house; he should have thrown her out the minute he had realized that she was Rashid Bey Sharaf’s daughter.
* * *

 

Adam slowly turned his head and hissed as he felt the pain. His jaw ached badly, his shoulder felt as if he had been kicked by a horse. Opening his eyes, the first thing he saw where iron bars. A prison cell? He rapidly sat up and regretted it at once, rubbing his hurting head, noticing that the cell door was ajar. At least he wasn’t locked up. The memory set in and he cringed as he remembered his fight with Hoss. With Hoss, of all people… But then the one thought entered his mind that wiped off everything else. Lilyah…

Adam grimaced as it all came back. The sheriff, the stable owner, the drunkards, the banker, his father. Everyone’s words kept hammering in his head and he closed his eyes as if he could escape them this way. It could not be – Lilyah would not do this to him! Drawing a deep breath he fought down the fear that something, anything of it could be true. There had to be some explanation, something logical, something he just could not see right now. Her feelings were true, it had taken her so long to own up to them, her dark eyes could not have lied. And still he could not erase the gnawing trepidation deep inside, the fear that he might have lost her. Why would she run away from him like this? So secretly, not even leaving a note… not one word of explanation? Her angst of marriage, of losing her freedom… maybe he had pushed her too hard, asked too much… he had to find out!

Now!

A wave of dizziness grabbed him as he got up, and he noticed with some dismay how unsure he was on his feet. When did he eat the last time? It must have been the morning before he had left the trail, because the dinner of that day had been trampled by the panicking cattle. Adam shook off the weakness and wiped his eyes. Maybe he should stop at the hotel and get some food. He did not feel hungry at all and he loathed the thought of losing as much as a minute over it, but in this shape he probably would not last very long. Pulling himself together, he hastened out of the cell.

And ran straight into his father.
* * *

 

 

 

18. Desolation 

“Where are you going?” Ben had literally jumped in Adam’s way, gripping his shoulders.

Adam’s jaw tightened. “Get out of my way!”

“Son, listen to me!” Ben did not lose his grip. “You can’t go after them! They’re too far ahead, it’s of no use! You can’t catch up in time! You won’t change anything!”

Adam’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Pa, it should by now be clear that it serves no purpose to discuss anything! So, just let me go!”

Ben ignored his son’s attempt to brush off his hands, he held on even tighter. “Adam, what sense would it make? What do you think you’re going to do?”

“I’ll find out what this is all about!” Adam’s eyes grew darker. “And I’ve got to get my woman back!”

“Adam, listen…”

Adam violently jerked back and tried to pull away from his father, but Ben did not let go. Alarmed by Adam’s last words, he now was even more determined to hold his oldest son back, no matter the cost. For what seemed like an eternity for both, they fruitlessly struggled, as Ben tightened his grip on his son and Adam still shunned back from openly fighting his father. He tried to wrestle himself out of Ben’s grasp, but got increasingly frenzied that he couldn’t get away.

“Pa, please, let me go!” It was an outcry, a mixture of rage and despair, but also the last attempt to avoid a serious fight.

“Adam, no! Can’t you see that it’s of no use? Think, son, think! I know you’re hurt, boy, but running after them will only make it worse! I don’t know what you saw in her, son, but you were wrong about it…” He did not get any further.

Adam exploded and lashed out in earnest, striking his father so hard that Ben flew half across the room. Stumbling backwards, Adam bumped into Sheriff Coffee, who instinctively grabbed hold of him – more in an attempt to steady them both than actually wanting to hold him up. Adam, in his rage, got it wrong and his fist crashed against the sheriff’s head. Roy tumbled over his desk.

“Adam!” Hoss stood in the door, shocked and distraught. Yet his reaction was swift and resolute; he was not willing to get into a painful, desperate fight with his brother again. As Adam passed him by on his way out, he landed a short, precise blow right on the spot of Adam’s jaw. With an expression of utter disbelief in his eyes, Adam fell into his brother’s arms.

Hoss gently let him glide to the floor, his blue eyes looked at his disheveled father who just helped the sheriff to stagger back on his feet. “Pa, I sure hope I did the right thing…”

Something in Hoss’s voice alerted Ben. “Of course you did, son! You can see in what state of mind he is! He’s not himself anymore!”

“Still Adam to me…” Hoss picked his brother’s body up again. The second time this day. “Pa, I can’t hit him over the head every time he wakes up!”

Ben stood still as he watched Hoss carrying his brother back to the cells. For a moment he closed his eyes, as if in despair, fighting with himself, but when he opened them again his face was nothing but determination.

“Roy!” He approached the sheriff who was still rubbing the side of his face where Adam’s fist had hit him. “Roy, I want you to lock him up!”

“What??” Sheriff Coffee did not trust his ears.

“Only for a day or two – until he has calmed down!”

The sheriff stared at his old friend. “And for what?”

“For what!” Ben growled. “For causing a fight – twice! For assaulting an officer of the law! You would lock up anyone for that!”

The sheriff sat down and squinted, shook his head and once again rubbed his face. “Well… yes… but – Adam?? Your own son? Are you pressing charges against him?”

Ben pressed his lips together. “Roy, I can’t let him ride after Joe! Not as long as he is like this! And I can’t see how we could hold him up. As Hoss said, he can’t possibly knock him down every time he wakes up. And I can’t reach him anymore! He won’t listen to me! Not yet!” He resolutely straightened up. “And yes, I want to press charges!”

The sheriff weighed his head. “Ben, he’ll be mad as a hornet when he comes to!”

“Yes!” Ben nodded his head. “And that is exactly why I won’t let him ride after Joe! There’ve been tensions between them before, every time the subject of the Civil War comes up! And now they would fight over a woman! You know what this could do to even the best of friends! To brothers even! I can’t let them do this!”

“And how long do want to stand between them?” Roy asked. “What if Adam does not calm down after a day or two – and still wants to go after them?”

Ben took a deep breath. “He will calm down – eventually. He’ll get over it! He’s a reasonable young man, it’s only a matter of time until his rationality kicks in!” It sounded as if he was as much trying to convince himself as he tried to convince the sheriff.

“And what shall I tell him when he finds his cell locked? That his own father has pressed charges against him?”

Ben’s jaw worked. “Roy, this is not his usual self! It’s like he’s drunk or something! But he will sober up and be himself again! And until then, it’s better to keep him safe, to keep him from doing anything he will come to regret later! It’s for his own good!”

“Somehow I doubt he will see it that way.”

“However he will see it, I can’t help it!” Ben jutted out his chin. “It’s up to him now!”

“Alright…” Roy got up and took the keys. “Alright, I’ll do it. I’ll have to, if you press charges! But I don’t like it, Ben! You know I’d let him go, even if my jaw will most likely hurt for a week!”

Ben just nodded his head and did not look as the sheriff went to the cells. It did hurt to do this to his own son, but he was convinced it was the only way.
* * *

 

“Pa! Pa, the sheriff locked him up!” Hoss literally stormed into the office. “He said you pressed charges! That ain’t true, Pa, ain’t it? You can’t mean that!”

Ben sighed. “I mean it, Hoss! It’s for the best.”

“For the best of what?” Hoss’s face was a screaming reproach. “Dadburnit, Pa, you can’t do that to him! What happens when he comes to?” He flew around as the sheriff came in. “Sheriff, I’ll bail him out! How much would that be? I have money on me!” He started searching in all pockets, produced a banknote here, another one there; a silver dollar slipped through his fingers, clanged on the floor and started rolling under the sheriff’s desk.

“Wait, I have more!” Hoss fell on his knees and crawled after the coin. “How much, Sheriff?”

“Hoss!” Ben crouched beside him and grabbed his shoulder. “Can’t you understand? It’s for his own good – and for Joe’s! As long as Adam is like he is right now, we cannot let him ride after him! And how else could we hold him?”

Hoss frantically searched for an answer. “We… we could ride with him, Pa! We ride with him and make sure nothing will happen!”

“And how should we keep up? With four replacement horses? He plans to gallop to Sacramento!”

“Pa, we got horses enough on the Ponderosa! Doggonit, we can get ten replacement horses each and keep up!”

“I have no intentions to go on a wild goose chase like that! Believe me…”

“I can go! I don’t mind!”

“Hoss, no! He would leave you behind! He can ride faster than you!”

Hoss stared in his father’s face and knew that he was right. At least insofar that Adam could ride faster than he could. And still… everything inside of him revolted against the thought of his older brother being locked up like this. “Pa, you done told us that we gotta make our own decisions, and own up to them, and do what we think is right! If it’s Adam’s decision to ride, it ain’t right to lock him up. Talk to him, yeah, try to convince him, but if he’s still bound to go, there ain’t nothin’ we can do!” He took a deep breath. “Pa, I don’t think he’ll hurt Joe! Not really, Pa! Maybe he’ll beat him up, but that will be all!”

Ben shook his head. “If only I could be that sure! Hoss, a few days ago, would you have ever believed that Adam could react like he did today? And what about Joe? You know his temper if Adam rubs him the wrong way. With a woman in between and both passions boiling over, a tragedy might come from it!”

Hoss’s broad shoulders slumped down as he picked up his silver dollar and got up. “I don’t know, Pa. I don’t think that when he comes to, I can look him in the eye…”

Ben’s face darkened.
* * *

 

Adam squinted his eyes as he woke up in the same cell as before, a mixture of pain and anger floating through him. What were they thinking? That they could hold him up forever? Hissing between his teeth, he got up from the cot and shook off the slight tremble gripping his body. He would not let that stop him.

He was so fixated on getting out of the cell that he almost ran against the bars when the door did not open. For a moment he looked at the lock in disbelief. It had to be an error, maybe Roy just locked up without thinking… a matter of habit…

“Hey, Roy! Sheriff!” He fought down the impulse to impatiently rattle the door. “Roy!”

He waited. It seemed to take an eternity until the sheriff showed up in the door to his office. The moment Adam saw his face he knew that something was amiss, but he refused to regard the conclusion.

“Roy, let me out of here! You’ve locked up the door!”

“Sorry, Adam – you’re under arrest!”

“What? For what?”

Roy sighed. “For one, you’ve attacked an officer of the law…”

Adam shifted uncomfortably, a flash of guilt on his face. “Roy, I’m sorry for that. I didn’t mean to hit you…”

The sheriff nodded his head. The difficult part was yet to come. “And second, you’ve assaulted a citizen of Virginia City – twice. There have been charges pressed against you.”

“Charges…” Adam’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated what he had just heard. “And… that particular citizen of Virginia City…” His voice suddenly turned to a thundering loudness. “Will he eventually have the guts to tell me himself?”

The sheriff was saved from an answer as Ben appeared behind him, every inch authority and resolution. Hands on hips, he returned his son’s glowering look.

Adam had to bite down his growing rage. “Don’t you think I’m a tad too old for room confinement?”

“That depends…” Ben said slowly. For a tiny moment, a spark of hope had sprung up in him, since this sarcastic remark was so typical for his oldest. But then he saw the pale face, the almost feverish look in the hazel eyes, and he saw that the knuckles of Adam’s hands gripping the bars were white. There still was a fire smoldering in his son that was just waiting to burst.

“Depends on what?” Adam snapped.

Ben stepped closer to the bars. “Do you still plan to go after Joe and that woman?”

Adam sharply drew in the air. “And if I do, it’s none of your business! Apart from that, I’d appreciate it if you would stop referring to her as ‘that woman’! She’s got a name, and she’s a lady deserving respect!”

Ben couldn’t help a contemptuous blow. “No lady would ever behave like that!”

Adam literally jumped against the bars, his eyes shooting flashes. “Don’t say that again!”

“Boy, can’t you see it?” Ben had taken a step backwards. “Can’t you see what she’s doing to you? Use your brain, Adam, and think! Look at it rationally, objectively! Open your eyes, son!”

“Shut up!” Adam violently pulled at the bars. “Shut your mouth and let me out of here! Sheriff!” He turned to the sheriff, his eyes burning. “Sheriff, you can’t hold me here! I’m a citizen, too, and you can’t lock me up just to do him a favor!” He pointed at his father with his chin. “If you do that, you’re abusing your office!”

“Now hold it there, Adam!” The sheriff’s face had clouded. “You know well enough I wouldn’t do this! Your arrest is every point to the law! It’s rather this time I really minded my office – unlike the many other times that I’ve turned a blind eye to you and your brothers!”

“Oh, come on!” Adam threw up his head. “You wouldn’t have locked me up had he not asked for it!”

“But he did!” the sheriff replied. “And the law is on his side!”

“What kind of law is that?” Adam furiously whirled around, an aimless move, more meant to vent off his flaming temper than anything else. The rapid movement provoked a vertigo and he steadied himself at the bars again. The tension pulled his lower lip from his teeth. “Come on, Roy, what do I have to do to get out of here? Except for playing to the whims of that self-assigned Lord Capulet over there?”

Sheriff Coffee pulled an uneasy face. “Nothing, Adam. Just keep your quiet and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”

“What?” Adam tensed as if he were about to jump. “You must be kidding!” His hands clutched the bars. “Let me out!”

“Let’s go, Roy!” Ben turned to the door. “You can’t talk to him in that condition.”

“What condition?” Adam’s fist hammered against a bar as both men left the cell block and shut the door behind them. “Roy! Let me out! Come on, Roy! Sheriff!”

It took a while until he realized that he was alone, that no one would let him out, that he was caught up and there was nothing he could do about it. Livid with rage, despair and embarassement, he frantically battered his fists against the cell door and flew around, eyeing for something, anything, to direct his overboiling agitation at. There was nothing much in the cell except for the cot and a small table beside it. With a pained outcry he grabbed the table and crashed it against the bars, again and again, until only fragments and splinters were left. Trembling and exhausted, he stumbled against the wall, hammering his right fist against it so hard that his knuckles were scrapped open. The small smear of his own blood at the wall brought him back to his senses. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes, squeezed them shut such that his face grimaced. Pressing his forehead against the cold wall, he tried to cope with the hammering behind his temples, the burning of his painfully dry eyes.

The curse of his life… He was losing, again, and once again he could not fight when he had to.
* * *

 

“Lilyah, what is it?”

Little Joe looked over to the silent woman sitting next to the campfire. She had been aloof and absent-minded all day, hardly spoken a word. Granted, he had run out of ‘Adam and me’-stories sometime in the early evening, and maybe the hard ride was finally taking its toll on her. They had been in the saddle for almost 15 hours without a rest, and it had to be way past midnight by now.

“I don’t know…” She listlessly put her bowl of beans away. “I have such a bad feeling…”

“For what?” Joe shook his head. “Everything is fine! My plan is working out just perfectly, it couldn’t go any better! Hey – we’ll reach the Ortega ranch tomorrow morning! Ain’t that something or not?”

Lilyah looked into the low flames of the fire. “It’s Adam…” she finally said. “I probably should have gone with him on that cattle drive…”

“What?” Joe gave her a queer look from the side. “And what about the new horse? Hey, and don’t forget that he himself told you it wouldn’t be a good idea! So what?”

She helplessly shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Joe. I worry about him. I have a feeling that he is lonely right now… he’s so sensitive…”

Joe couldn’t help a gurgling sound while gulping down a snicker. He hastily pulled a compassionate face, and only his eyes revealed the mockery. “Oh yes! That’s why we call him the old Yankee granite head!”

She unwillingly furrowed her brows. “He’s an artist, Joe! A musician, a poet! His heart is like a flower, so soft…”

Joe coughed into his beans and desperately held his breath while shoveling another spoonful into his mouth. He dared not look at her anymore. Adam’s poetry readings really must have caused some serious damage…

Lilyah did not even notice his predicament. “I just feel I should be with him… and look after him…”

It was too much for Joe. Spraying half chewed beans all over the fire, he burst out in such a laughing fit that the nearby horses threw up their heads. Cackling and crowing, he just couldn’t pull himself together and squealed out like a drunken cockerel. He couldn’t stop laughing until he saw Lilyah angrily jumping up.

“Lilyah, sorry…” Wiping the laughing tears from his eyes, he gasped for air. “But that’s too funny! Look after him! Pffffft…”

Her dark eyes spat fire. “I don’t like you laughing at me!!” She furiously turned around and grabbed her saddle. “I’m not going to listen to that any longer!”

“Hey, wait…” Joe jumped on his feet. “Don’t be mad! I’m sorry, really!” He did his best to make a sincere face. “But, Lily, it’s really funny! Hey, listen!” He cautiously made a few steps towards her. Her face was a fist and he still remembered the times when Adam had ended up with things thrown at him. Even though he doubted that she could throw her Arab saddle very far, and the beans were luckily out of her reach.

“Listen, Lilyah!” he started again. “Adam is a big, grown man! He’s been on cattle drives before, and all the time without a woman looking after him…” He boldly fought down the threatening chuckle. “And he sure is not lonely! Hey, he’s got 400 cows to keep him company!”

She drew a deep breath, her dark eyes still glowering.

“And he’s got a real tough hide!” Joe went on. “Really, he’s got just a thick head! Hey, he’s the one that Pa will never really worry about. He’s always worried about me, or Hoss, but never really about Adam! He’ll always say, ‘Adam is solid as a rock, he can take care of things!'” He comically mimicked his father’s voice, winking at her.

Her anger finally vanished and she put down the saddle. “I’m sorry, Joe… I don’t know what it is. It’s just a feeling…”

“I know what it is!” Joe sat down again. “You miss him already and you’d much rather be with him than with me! Am I right or not?”

She awkwardly sat down, not returning his look. Was it that? Did she miss him so badly that it really hurt her inside?

Joe grinned as he comfortably stretched his legs. “Try and think of something different! The horse! What color should it be?” He couldn’t believe it that he voluntarily turned the subject to the horse again, but her distraught face pitied him.

“I don’t know…” Her face softened a bit. “The color is actually the least important.”

“Yeah, I know! But if you ask me, I’d wish it’ll be the craziest, funniest, most outrageous looking pinto that ever walked the earth! Because…” He made a dramatic pause and simpered. “… when I first got Cochise, Adam had the guts to poke fun at me, saying that I only chose the flashy paint pony because I’d wanted to show off to the girls! Not one word of it was true, Cochise was simply the best! But Adam just kept making his wisecrack allusions. And sneered! Aw, I hated him for that!”

“Come on!” A sparkle of a smile appeared in her eyes. “You did not hate him!”

“Of course not – he’s my brother, after all!” Joe laughed. “But at times he really has something about him that drives you up the wall! And then when he glares at you with that know-it-all look on his face – gosh, that usually does it for me!”

“Oh yes, I think I know what you mean…” She nodded in agreement. Adam did have a way to pull people’s legs and she could just see him kidding his youngest brother.

“I bet you do!” Joe chortled and thought of the jelly bowl. “And that’s why I would just wish for him to end up with the weirdest looking pinto ever! Checkered, spotted, blotched all over! Hehe!” He snickered at the notion.

“A Knabstrupper?” Lilyah chuckled.

“A what??”

“A Knabstrupper horse! That’s a Danish breed of horses famous for their weird colors – mostly white with thick black spots and dots all over them! They look like they are painted on and are very much en vogue in Europe right now!”

“An Appaloosa?”

“What’s that?”

“What you said! Mostly white horses with black leopard spots! The Indians breed them!”

“Now that’s interesting – the Indians breed Danish horses?”

Joe made a clueless face. “I have no idea… But yeah, such a Knaptrips… Knupperstraps would be just about perfect for older brother! Ha!”

“Knabstrupper…”

“Yeah, what I said!” Joe laughed. “Come on, let’s get some sleep! We’ll start at sunup and will be at the ranch in the late morning! How’s that to you?”

“It’s good!” Lilyah got up and called for Chai who immediately came running. She led him a few steps away and made him lie down, herself cuddling up next to his neck, wrapped in her wide coat. “Good night, Joe!”

“Good night, Lily!” Joe stretched himself out and pulled his hat over his face, grinning at the thought of his oldest brother on the most ridiculously looking Knipstraraps the world had ever seen. The grin still on his face, he fell asleep.

Lilyah had a much harder time to find her sleep. She usually had no problems sleeping in this half-seated position, she could even sleep on the back of a walking horse if she had to, but with the silence of the night her gnawing worries came back. Adam… She could only hope that Joe was right and she was just missing him. Closing her eyes, she nestled into Chai’s warm neck and wished she could have a look at Adam, just one look to make sure he was alright.
* * *

 

 

 

19. The Hardest Days 

Adam woke up from the rattling of keys in the lock.

“Good morning, Adam!” Sheriff Coffee’s friendly voice greeted him. “Boy, did you sleep! I checked your pulse twice to make sure you were still alive! I’d bet you can use a good breakfast now!”

Adam laboriously sat up and rubbed his face. “Can I go?”

“No, Adam, sorry.” The sheriff placed a loaded tray into his hands. “Wait, I’ll get you a new table!”

Adam noticed from the corner of his eye that the sheriff left the door open as he went to fetch another table from a neighboring cell. Deep inside he felt a warm gratitude for this sign of trust placed into him, and he tried not to think how easy it would be to get past him and out. His eyes fell on the rich breakfast and a sharp pain in his stomach reminded him how starved he was. He started eating before the sheriff returned, forcing himself to eat slowly and not wolf it down.

“Here you are!” The table was put in front of him.

“Thanks…” Adam swallowed and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for the table, Roy…” He uneasily looked up and winced as he saw the bruise on the sheriff’s face. “I’m… I’m really sorry I hit you…”

“Aw, think nothing of it!” Sheriff Coffee gave him a reassuring grin. “Reckon I just stood at the wrong spot!”

Adam did not know what to reply and helped himself to coffee before he further indulged in his breakfast. He could feel the dreaded weakness in his body vanishing with every bite.

“I got some business to attend to,” the sheriff began. “Anything you need?”

Adam just shook his head.

Sheriff Coffee sighed and left the cell, locking the door after him. “When I’m back, we might play some checkers!” He let out a little laugh. “Not that you think I just locked you up to have a partner for the game!”

“No…” Adam tried a smile, but it did not reach his eyes.

The sheriff turned to leave but halted at the door to his office. “Adam…” he started, almost hesitatingly. “Sometimes, in life, there are things that we just don’t like. But they happen, and there’s nothing we can do but cope.”

Adam took a breath and did not raise his eyes. “Yah…”

He sat still until the sheriff had left, then finished his breakfast, devouring it to the last crumb. For a long moment, he just sat and stared at the empty plate. Finally he pushed the table aside and leaned back on the cot.

Lilyah…

Adam closed his eyes and tried to listen to the soft voice deep inside of him, the voice of his heart that kept on whispering that none of it could be true, that she would never betray him, that she just would not do this to him. He felt the gentle touch of her fingers at his cheek and saw the large dark eyes in which he had seen everything he ever had wished for. Eyes that were meant to shine for him alone, only for him. He tried with all his soul to cling to these notions, keep them, protect them, strengthen them against every doubt and any argument. But he could not prevent another voice chiming in.

Joe…

The picture of his youngest brother came up before his inner eye. Laughing, joking, sitting on his pinto and bragging about all he could do. He could just see them together, romping around on their horses, showing each other riding tricks or challenging each other in a race. Adam’s face strained under the sudden pain. They had so much in common… the same impulsivity, the same childlikeness, the same ‘act first, think later’-attitude – provided there was an idle minute later that could be spared for it – just this happy-go-lucky nature that he, Adam, had never possessed.

The small scene at the lake came to his mind. Lilyah riding her black stallion into the lake until the seams of her dress almost trailed in the floods, the flying sprays of water as she galloped back to the shore, splashing water all over him, giggling like a child over her own prank. He had been so enchanted by her liveliness, he had savored every bit of it. As if he knew that it was not meant to last for long, at least not for him…

He abruptly got up from the cot, as if he was about to run, run from his own thoughts. The cell was too small to even pace up and down in it, after some aimless, mindless turns around himself he came to a halt at the bars, clutching the cold iron with clenched fists. Why should she love him? He had nothing he could give her for it. At almost 34, he was still living under his father’s thumb, never grown out of ‘boy’-status, never having become his own man, with nothing to show but a bunch of abandoned dreams and forgotten hopes. And what could have been a clearer demonstration of this sad state of affairs than what had transpired in the past few days?

For what could she love him? He almost choked on the thought. He had missed his chance to build something of his own ten years ago.

Fighting to keep his laboring breath under control, he struggled to get some clarity in his once again whirling thoughts. She never wanted to marry – she was so afraid to lose her freedom, the freedom she had fought for so hard. What had he done to her, burdening her with all his hopes, dreams, wishes and wantings? Had he chased her away from him? What would she need 3000 dollars for? The journey back home? But why Sacramento? Wouldn’t it be more natural for her had she turned east? Would she submit Chai to a month-long sea journey around the cape? Did she really fall for Joe?

He slumped down on the cot again, burying his aching head in his hands. It felt like his thoughts had become stabs, mercilessly hurting behind his forehead. His eyes burnt with dry stinging. He felt like screaming, but he sat silently, motionless, trying to choke it all down, once again trying to bury it all deep inside of him.
* * *

 

“Hello, Hoss…” Sheriff Coffee did not trust his eyes as the huge man waltzed into his office, packed like a mule. “What’s all that?”

“Aw, just a few things for Adam.”

“A few things…” The sheriff gaped. “How long does your father plan to have him locked up? Ten years?”

“Nope, he’s hopin’ Adam’ll be out tomorrow!” Hoss poured a load of books on the sheriff’s desk. “I just reckon he’d like something to read! And here’s some shirts – he likes a clean one every day! I got three, so he’s got some to choose from.”

“To choose from…” Sheriff Coffee squinted at three identical black shirts.

“And I got the latest edition of that magazine here – well, at least the latest I could find in Virginia City!” He held a magazine up and read the title, “Scientific American – A weekly journal of practical information in art, science, mechanics, chemistry and manufactures! Oh, and his shaving stuff! And his guitar! And a lamp so he can read after it gets dark! And Hop Sing sent these here cookies!” He gave the sheriff a pleading look. “You’ll give that to him, huh?”

“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?”

Hoss squirmed. “He wouldn’t be in there if it weren’t for me…” It would be so hard to see his older brother locked up in a cell, like a criminal, like someone who could not be trusted. And he did not want to be reminded who had put him there. No matter what Pa said, it just wasn’t right.

“I don’t think he holds it against you! He could use a bit of cheering up; he’s pretty depressed.” Sheriff Coffee noticed the discomfort on Hoss’s face and did not tell him that Adam had been too dejected to even concentrate on a game of checkers. “Nothing from the telegraph office, eh?”

“Nope…” Hoss looked at his feet.

“Come on!” The sheriff took his keys and got up. “Let’s go see him!”
* * *

 

“Hey, Adam…” Hoss felt like he had shrunk a foot or two as the sheriff unlocked the cell door to let him in. He dreaded the moment his brother would look up, fearing to read the silent reproach in his eyes. “Got some things for you…”

Adam slowly lifted his head as he watched his brother clumsily sorting all kinds of things on the table. His head was still aching, and a part of him just wished to be left alone. And still he noticed Hoss’s uneasiness.

“Hey, Hoss…” He drew a breath. “Hoss, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Hoss shook his head. “Dang, Adam, I’m sorry for hitting you! Feel real bad about it…”

“I hit you first, didn’t I?”

Hoss scratched his temple and gave him a sheepish look as he sat down beside him on the cot. “Dadburn, older brother, hardly noticed them weak little taps…”

A small grin played around Adam’s lips as he mockingly knocked Hoss in the side. Hoss’s features lit up as he returned the knock, but his smile faded fast. Adam’s face was pale as a sheet.

“Adam…” He bit his lip. “Adam, I’m real sorry for all this… it ain’t right… I mean… it just… dadburnit…”

“Hoss,” Adam placed a hand on his brother’s arm. “this too will pass! Come on! If you run around with a face like that, people will start throwing coins in your hat!”

Hoss chuckled and watched him from the corner of his eye. He could still feel his brother’s hidden pain, but it was forever good to see his strength again. It took a ton of weight from his heart.

“What’s that?” Adam took the magazine and raised an eyebrow. He knew the ‘Scientific American’ – he had quit reading it two years ago because the contents had not really been what the pompous title had promised. The current main story pretty much summed it up – Steven’s Improved Manure-Spreader…

“A magazine I found!” Hoss said with some pride. “Reckon you’d like it.”

“Pretty interesting…” Adam paged through the journal. “Guess that’ll keep me busy for a while…”

“Good!” Hoss continued to announce the various books he brought, offered Hop Sing’s cookies, neatly placed the shirts on the table, and painstakingly avoided to mention the little lady, their father, Joe, or anything else that he feared could upset his brother. Adam felt his headache increasing.

“Hoss… I’m really tired…” He uneasily drew up his shoulders. “I was about to take a nap when you came…”

“Sure thing, older brother.” Hoss scanned over his face. “You don’t look too good, if you ask me. You better try and sleep some!”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine!” Adam managed a smile. “And thanks for everything, Hoss…”

“Hey, sure! Adam, is there anything else you need? Anything I can do?”

“No…”

Adam continued to page through the ‘Scientific American’ until the sheriff had let his brother out, until the door was closed and he was alone. He slowly put the magazine away and buried his head in his hands again.
* * *

 

“And what is it this time?” Little Joe asked in a high-pitched voice. He felt as if he was about to scream after one look at Lilyah’s displeased face.

“I don’t like his eyes!” Lilyah reined in Chai and scrutinized the long-legged grey colt Joe was riding.

“His eyes??” Joe’s voice was a screech. “What the hell…” He broke off and cleared his throat. “What in tarnation is wrong with his eyes?”

“There is no loyalty in his eyes! No heart, no spirit! He is a coward! Look!” She gave Chai a special tap and the black stallion reared up high, screaming and aggressively flailing his legs at the grey colt. The colt spooked and almost fell over his own legs as he frantically backed away from the rearing stallion.

Joe bit down a heartfelt curse as he fought for his balance and forced the skittish colt to a stand. This woman was mad as a hatter!

“Lilyah, every horse will spook if your crazy stallion jumps at it like that!”

“No!” Lilyah propped out her chin. “He is a four-year-old colt, he should not act so cowardly towards another stallion that is ten years older than he is! And Chai didn’t even attack him in earnest! He has no courage!”

Joe gathered the rest of his nerves together. “Gosh, we’re looking for a horse, not for a quadruped hero! He doesn’t need to have courage!”

“But Joe! Remember what you told me about Sport, and how Adam almost got killed because that horse spooked when the cattle got unruly!”

Joe almost whimpered. How often had he regretted that he had told her that story!

“And you want him to ride a colt that even spooks from another stallion?” She gave him the most reproachful look. “Also, Joe, he has no loyalty in his eyes! What, if Adam is in a dry desert far from any water and his horse spooks and he is thrown off and the horse runs away?”

Joe winced. God, not another one of her dreaded ‘What-if’-scenarios, in which she cooked up all kinds of situations in which Adam would get in distress and only a wonder horse could save him.

She seemed completely unfazed by his suffering. “You told me that this had happened to him once, and that he only was saved because someone found him!”

“But Lilyah!” Joe grimaced. “This can happen with any horse! Even your Chai could spook from a rattler or something and run away!”

“Yes! But a good horse comes back to his master! A loyal horse will always return! Adam’s life could depend on this one day! And I don’t believe that this colt will have the loyalty required to return! And apart from that, he has no good hooves!”

“What?” Joe’s eyes almost fell from his head.

“He’s got checkered hooves! That means his hooves are not thoroughly and equally hard, and just look! He needs horseshoes!”

“What do you think horseshoes are there for?” Joe’s face looked as if he was about to cry.

“It is not good to have a horse that relies on shoes!” she lectured. “What, if Adam rides through a very vast and lonely desert and his shod horse loses a shoe?”

Joe closed his eyes and silently counted to ten, picturing himself riding through a vast and lonely desert after strangling his brother’s girl. “Lilyah, from all the horses we’ve tested in the past two days, this one is the best! He’s blindingly fast, he’s got a sure footing, he’s beautiful, and he passed the endurance test and he wasn’t all that bad at the ranch work tests! He’s perfect! So what’s wrong?” His voice got discordant again.

“He’s not good enough for Adam!” She turned Chai and rode back to the ranch.

Little Joe gave an exasperated groan and sent a miserable gaze to the heavens. What had been planned to be an easy and happy time off had turned out to be a drag. They had tested more horses in the past two days than he dared to count, from sunup to sundown, and Lilyah had found something to nag about with every one. In the meanwhile, he was compelled to think that she was looking for a second Chai, or a winged Pegasus. Odds were that they would not find any horse at all, at least not one that would meet all her demands.

Joe’s eyes fell on the small bunch of cattle he had organized for the ranch work tests. The poor critters were most likely traumatized for life. As was he. And to top it all, his delightful plans with Evita and Dolores were crushed to pieces, after Evita had caught him kissing Dolores, and overheard him pledging his undying love for her. That alone would have been bad enough, but then Evita had told Dolores that just two hours earlier he had been kissing her, and told her that he loved her more than anything in the world. The two sisters had teamed up against him and would not talk to him anymore. Nor would their mother, and even their grandmother who was forever sitting on the porch bestowed him with chastising looks. The only woman still talking to him was Lilyah, and she talked about nothing but Adam and horses, and got moody and restless every couple of hours because she worried about Adam being ‘lonely’.

Joe sighed as he saw Señor Ortega riding up to him. It was a major miracle that the brawny horse breeder still tolerated them on his land after all the fuss and bustle Lilyah created – not to mention Chai chasing the barn dog into the hen house. But then Ortega literally kissed the ground on which the black Arabian had walked and got glassy eyes whenever he looked at the stallion. Lilyah had promised him that Chai would be available for some of his mares if she could find a good horse on his ranch; and so he was constantly sticking around hoping that finally, finally one of his horses might find her grace.

“The Señorita did not like our excellent Grande Domingo?” The round face had disappointment written all over it.

“No…” Joe threw up his hands in a helpless gesture. “What can I say? Women! They just never know what they want!”

Ortega nodded in compassionate agreement. “She’s riding over to the brood mares…” he said in a hopeful tone. “Maybe, one of the new Spanish mares…” His voice trailed off.

And Joe sighed again, heartbreakingly.
* * *

 

“Adam?” Ben Cartwright’s voice sounded almost subdued.

Adam sat still. He had not looked up as the sheriff had opened his cell door, his father in tow; he had not looked up as the sheriff left, and he was in no mood to look up now. He did not want to see his father, and an irascible voice inside of him asked why he was not simply told that he could go. This was his third day in jail, and his father had achieved what he wanted. He felt his bitterness coming up again. What sense would it make to ride after Lilyah now? Had it ever made sense? He probably would never know. His thoughts had been churning around this very question again and again and again.

Ben uncomfortably shifted position. “We have not heard anything from Joe yet,” he started. “I’ve telegraphed the authorities in Sacramento, but nothing came from it.” As he got no reply, he went on, “I think we’ll wait another week to see if Joe comes back and if not, we’ll ride to Sacramento and try to find him.”

Adam looked down on his clasped hands and did not answer.

“But I believe they’ll come back,” Ben continued after some hesitation. “The young lady still has her luggage at the Ponderosa.”

Adam’s head rose slightly, his jaw worked. The oud… How often had they played together… He barely noticed that his father called Lilyah ‘the young lady’ now. Where was the oud? Did she leave the instrument at the Ponderosa? His eyes fell on his guitar. He had not even touched it since Hoss had brought it. The mere sight of it hurt him.

“Adam…” Ben started again. “I want you to come home, boy!”

Adam pushed the air through his nose, still not looking up. “So I can presume I’ll be released from jail for that purpose?”

Ben heaved a sigh. “Adam, what I did was for…”

“Hold it!” Adam’s voice was low, but sharp. He finally lifted his head and looked at his father from narrowed eyes. “I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to talk about it!”

For a moment Ben was muted. Hoss had told him that Adam looked pale, but he had not expected his son to look ten years older than he was. What was even harder to bear was the absolute blankness of his facial expression. No anger, no reproach, no hurt – just a cold, controlled mask.

Adam abruptly turned his face away and got up, beginning to put all the books that Hoss had so neatly placed on the table in a bag.

“It’s about time you come home.” Ben looked at his son’s back. “I got this contract that Barney Fuller worked out. We plan to share the timbering for this new project of Chollar Mining Works. I told him that I wouldn’t decide anything before my oldest son had seen the papers.” He laughed. “You should have seen his face!”

“Yeah,” Adam replied tersely, without looking at his father. “I can imagine his surprise.”

“Adam…” Ben took a deep breath. “I know I never made much words of it, but… I always relied on you, on your knowledge, your ability and intelligence. I always trusted in you…”

Adam’s hands stopped in mid-movement. Something in him tickled him to laugh – albeit a dry, a bitter laugh. He swallowed it down, along with the sharp reply he had on his tongue. Twisting his mouth, he continued to bag in the books. Another such thing that would not make any sense.

“And we need you on the Ponderosa, son!” Ben went on. “I need you on the Ponderosa!”

Adam did not answer. There had been a time when he would have given his right arm to hear such praise from his father; right now, it left his heart empty. It rather made him bristle, and he felt like an animal sitting in a trap. How easy was it to pull his strings…? And yet a part of him felt sorry for his father, standing there practically with his hat in his hands, saying his compliments like a boy who was forced to recite his Christmas carols. Adam knew that such commitments did not come easy for Ben, and deep inside he felt a pang of guilt. He uneasily turned his head, but still did not look his father in the eye.

“I’ll have a look at that contract when we get home,” he finally said.

“Good!” Ben’s face showed all his relief as he heartily slapped his son’s back. “I also want you to attend tomorrow’s meeting of the Cattlemen’s Association with me. We still have that Hatfield problem! You’ll see, a few days of work will help you get your mind on to other things and make you feel much better! Ah, let me help you with your books!”

Adam grabbed his guitar and literally fled from the cell, trying not to think that there were bars he could not run from.
* * *

 

A soft yellow light lit the dark room as Adam turned the screw of the oil lamp higher and looked around. The room in which they had said good-bye, in which they had kissed for the last time, in which she had promised him that he would find her when he came back. All of her things were still here, untouched, her dark red robe hung from the wardrobe. He could not resist touching the soft fabric, and for a moment he closed his eyes. She seemed so close, and still he felt so abandoned. Abruptly withdrawing his hand, he turned around. His eyes fell on the instrument case leaning against the night stand. The oud was there. He hesitated as he opened the case, his fingers touching the fine ivory ornaments at the instrument’s sound holes, one fingernail softly strumming a string. A warm tone answered him. He touched another string and the oud answered again. He wanted to close the case, but he couldn’t. It felt as if the oud was looking at him.

Adam heaved a deep breath and took the instrument from its case, sat down on the bed with it. The round, bowl-shaped back seemed to nestle against his body, very different from the flat back of his guitar. Two of the strings were slightly out of tune and he tuned them back in, a bit awkwardly since he wasn’t used to the bent peg-box. Lilyah mostly played the oud with a sort of plectrum, the lower part of an eagle’s feather, of which she kept several in the case. Adam preferred his own fingers as he softly strummed the strings, careful to keep the sound as low as possible.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

He closed his eyes in a sudden pain. The oud seemed to keep whispering to him. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme…

Parsley to take away bitterness – sage as the symbol of strength – rosemary standing for love and faith – and thyme representing courage.

Remember me…

Adam’s flat hand hit on the strings, stopping them from resonating, stopping them from talking, his face grimaced as he threw back his head to fight down the overwhelming emotion. His guitar would have answered with a dissonance, the oud seemed to sigh. He choked. It had been a dream, nothing but a dream, just one of his dreams…

He felt his eyes burning as he put the oud back in its case.
* * *

 

20. Mariah 

“She’s the one!” Lilyah’s eyes were shining as she gazed at the big, beautiful chestnut mare.

“You mean it? You really mean it?” Little Joe couldn’t believe it. He never would have thought that this mare would make it, when at first sight she didn’t look as flashy and elegant as most of the high-class thoroughbreds on the ranch. She was one of those mixed Andalusian broodmares Señor Ortega had imported from Spain to improve the stamina and power of his stock, not even meant to be for sale. But, after they had tested horse after horse after horse without any positive outcome, they had resorted to even the most remote chances.

“I mean it!” Lilyah smiled. “Hey, Joe, isn’t she the best horse you have ridden so far?”

“She sure is…” Joe pushed his hat back and patted the mare’s muscular neck. They had just completed an extended ten miles endurance test and there wasn’t a damp hair in the copper colored coat. Earlier this day she had accomplished the sure-footing test like it had been a walk over the pasture, and she had effortlessly kept up with Chai during a four-mile-test-race. None of the other horses had lasted over four miles, not even the grey colt who had been the best racer of all – as fast as some of those thoroughbreds were, they usually were awfully spent after three miles at most. This mare was pure power! And still… Lilyah was likely to find a flaw on even the most perfect horse. He cautiously scanned her small face and saw nothing but delight. She really meant it!

“Gosh, hold your reins, I’m going to yell!” Joe actually let out a shrill yell and his fidgeting around in the saddle would have spooked any other horse – the grey colt most likely would have jumped out of his coat. The big mare just threw up her head and shook her long mane, once again proving her good nerves.

Lilyah chuckled at his antics, feeling like cheering herself. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the mare and the more she watched her, the more she liked her. She was no thoroughbred, but she had a good shot of Arabian blood under her proud Andalusian exterior, showing in her refined, straight head, the short back and the long, sinewy legs. There seemed to be another influence, too, that Lilyah couldn’t yet define. Most important however was the big heart that could be seen in her eyes. She had courage, confidence and intelligence. She would be a wonderful horse for Adam!

“She’s a real beauty!” Thoroughly pleased with herself and the world, Lilyah admired the rich copper tone of the mare’s coat, the small blaze on her straight face. “And she’s a chestnut! Adam always had chestnuts, hadn’t he?”

“Yeah, chestnuts with blazes and…” Joe broke off, his laughing face freezing up while his eyes wandered down to the mare’s legs.

“And?” Lilyah furrowed her brow.

“Hey, you told me the color would be the least important, didn’t you?” Joe was suddenly on alert, talking faster than necessary. “And she’s a chestnut! And I really like her blaze, so small and fine, it’s much more elegant and noble than…”

“Joe, what is it?” She pursed her lips as she saw his look. Adam’s current horse had four white stockings. The big mare had no stockings, no leg markings whatsoever except for a small white pastern at the left hind foot. “How many stockings did Sport have?”

Little Joe uncomfortably cleared his throat. “Three…” he said reluctantly, quite obviously already fearing the worst.

Lilyah couldn’t help laughing. “Joe, she’s got legs like iron and hooves like granite! That’s more important than white stockings!” She winked at him. “And if Adam misses the stockings, we’ll get a pot of white color and paint her some!”

Joe shook his head and grinned. It hadn’t been Adam’s reaction that had worried him – rather Lilyah’s. She was unpredictable and had rejected horses in the past days that normal people would have died for. But maybe she wasn’t as mad as it seemed. When Joe was honest, most of those stunning thoroughbreds wouldn’t have made very good ranch horses, especially endurance and surefootedness had been tacky subjects with those overbred beauties. The big mare was as sturdy as a mustang and still extremely fast and athletic. And beautiful on top of it.

“I don’t think we could find a better horse for Adam!” Lilyah picked up his thoughts. “She’s big, she’s fast, she loves to race and yet she’s robust. And have you noticed her turns? She puts her whole weight on her back legs and turns quicker than the wink of an eye!”

“Yeah!” Joe heartily patted the mare’s neck. “That’s important when working with cattle! She turns on her hind and still is alert and attentive! And her stops are excellent! Let Adam work with her a couple of months and she’ll be the best ranch horse ever!” He grinned from one ear to the other. “I’ll be tempted to steal her from him and leave him a Knipperstrups instead!”

She laughed. “Don’t forget that Chai can still catch her!”

Joe suddenly wrinkled his brow. “We still have a problem…”

“What?”

“She’s a bit over our price limit…” He scratched his chin while his thoughts were already racing. “A bit much, to be exact. Ortega told me none of those Spanish mares goes for less than 6000 dollars, he imported them all the way from Andalusia! Lilyah, did you let Chai on any mares yet?”

“He’s got at one yesterday…” Lilyah pointed to a small group of mares grazing at the nearby pasture. “It was one of them, the fine dark grey!”

“Drat!”

She shrugged her shoulders. “There’s a limit of times you can keep a stallion from the mares after spending days in their presence – and you can believe me that Chai is very lenient with that! Any other stallion would have started a revolt long before that!” An elfin smile stole over her face. “Anyhow, Señor Ortega does not know about it!”

Joe couldn’t help a grin when he saw the look in her dark eyes. Oh yes, she would get Adam this horse, there was no doubt about it. He had come to know her in the past days. She could be a pain in the back and at times had killed his every nerve, but she had kept her goal firmly in the eye – the best horse and nothing less! And given the fact that he wasn’t a slouch either when it came to dealing and bartering, the ranch owner didn’t really stand a chance!

“And beside…” she continued in a mischievous voice. “We have Señora Ortega on our side!”

“The Señora??”

She broke into a broad smile. “She so fell in love with my Persian pearls – and was so excited to learn that I might be thinking of trading them. And it seems she is used to get what she wants…”

Joe let out a whistle and laughed. “Lily, you’re some woman! That mare is as good as ours!”

“As good as Adam’s!” she softly corrected, her eyes on the big mare. “Joe, I want to ride her! Now! Do you mind?”

“Not at all!” He dismounted and watched as she slid from Chai’s back and started to open the girth of the mare’s saddle. “You want to ride her bareback?”

“Yes!” Lilyah gladly stepped aside when he helped her to take the heavy saddle off the mare’s back. “Do you want to saddle one of those fillies over there and come along?”

“No, believe it or not, but I’m going to lay in that grass and enjoy the feeling of not having a saddle under me!” Joe dropped the saddle and looked around for a comfortable place. “I’ll work out a plan to use Chai’s stud services to full extent! You might not even need to part with any more of your jewels at all!”

She bit her lip as she led the mare to the fence to have a mounting help. “I would prefer to pay it off. Chai can cover some mares, but I don’t want to spend an extra day for it. I want to go back as soon as possible. I have a feeling that…”

“Lilyah!” Joe sighed. “He has not even reached Eastgate yet! And he won’t get there for at least two more days, rather three! And then he’ll still need at least four days to get back to the Ponderosa! Heck, we have all the time in the world!”

She did not look at him. “He might have gone faster…”

Joe rolled his eyes. How often would he have to explain it? “Lily, he cannot go any faster, the cattle would lose too much weight and not bring a good price. Adam’s darn persevering about that! Also, he’s got young cattle to drive, that’s even harder on a trail like that! Come on! He’s not lonely, he’s not unhappy, he’s much too busy for anything like that, and the only thing he’s probably complaining about right now is dust in his mouth!”

Lilyah did not answer and just nodded her head. Everything Joe said was so convincing, and a part of her felt like a stupid child. Besides, she really did not want him to know how badly she missed Adam, and how much she worried about him. It made her feel so exposed, it just was not… ladylike? She twisted her mouth as this had been one of her mother’s favorite words. Ladylike! Since when did she worry about such things? With an involuntary sigh she mounted the mare.

Joe made himself comfortable on the ground, using the saddle as back support. “Don’t get lost!”

“I’ll stay close!” She nudged the mare into a light trot and rode off, with Chai following alongside.
* * *

 

Lilyah felt a strange sensation of breaking free as she raced the chestnut mare across the plains – as if she could race her on, galloping straight back to Nevada territory, straight back to… Adam. She shook off the irrational thought, calling herself to focus on the mare, forcing herself to slow down the neck breaking gallop. Racing Chai at such a speed without a saddle was one thing, doing the same on an unfamiliar horse something entirely different. It was reckless.

Adam… Lilyah closed her eyes. What was wrong with her that every thought of him seemed to be hurting her inside? Why was she so anxious to get back? Joe was right, they had so much time left. Going back too soon would only mean to be on the Ponderosa while Adam was still absent. She bit her lip and admitted to herself that being alone there with Ben Cartwright around definitely was the last thing she was looking forward to.

Ben Cartwright… She couldn’t even say she did not like him, when it wasn’t exactly his fault that her mother had put him above her father, in both her heart and mind. Granted, Lilyah often felt a nasty little streak of malice when she watched the old rancher in his rustic country house while recalling her mother’s exalted talks of noble Boston city life and high society America. How Valerie had always wrinkled her nose at the rural Moroccon horse farm her father had owned! A horse farm where horses had spacious white stables with pillar-supported shaded arcades in front and fine-carved Arabian lattice screens in the windows – worlds apart from the scrambled Ponderosa barn where the only window was covered with an old cloth. But her mother and the satisfying thought of what her face would have looked like upon seeing her Benjamin and his civilized American residence had vanished to the back of her mind. Right now, Ben Cartwright meant only one thing: he was Adam’s father. And there was no mistake that he did not like her, that he would rather see her leave the Ponderosa sooner than later. What could this do to Adam? Had it not already begun to put him in major distress? He had his life on this ranch, what would become of it if he were to fall into a serious conflict with his father?

Lilyah felt her eyes starting to burn and halted the mare. For a moment her heavy thoughts were eased when Chai eagerly pushed his head against her breast, her hand softly caressed the black muzzle. The stallion had faithfully followed her and now saw a need to remind her of his presence, yet she noticed with some joy that he did not attempt to bite the mare or display any other signs of jealousy – which he quite often did when another horse got too much of his mistress’ attention. Also the mare showed no sign of anxiety with the stallion pressing himself against her side. The two horses would get along just fine.

“You know she’s Adam’s horse, don’t you? Clever boy, good boy…” Lilyah brushed the long black forelock aside and touched the tiny, almost imperceptible white spot on the stallion’s forehead. “And it’s important to test her so you will have a friend to run with, isn’t it?”

Chai answered with a loving blow and she felt the look from his dark eye. As usual, he sensed her mood and his twitching ears expressed his awareness. There was sorrow and he knew it.

“It will be good, dear…” Lilyah gently pushed his head away and allowed the mare to turn and face the stallion, watching as the two horses made their first nose contact. The mare was bigger than Chai, but then Adam was a big man. Lilyah looked down on the split reins and imagined Adam’s hands holding them. Her desire to see him grew out of proportion and once again she felt the irrational wish to head back to the Ponderosa as quickly as even possible. As if she had to, as if he would be there, waiting for her! She sighed and recalled that he was on his cattle drive. The cattle drive he was forced to do very much against his own wishes. What had Joe said? His father could make Adam’s life a living hell…

She suddenly felt helpless and alone. If only her own father were still alive! Then it would be up to him to deal with Ben Cartwright and sort out all problems with the silver-haired man. After all, that was what fathers were there for… Lilyah closed her eyes. Had her father not died, she never would have travelled to America. Her mother’s letters? As Adam once had remarked, she could have sent them per mail. With her father alive, her life had been well planned. Live with him, learn from him how to run the horse farm, to share more and more of the work. She still saw the sly smile in his eyes when he had told her, “And when you’re 40 and I’m 72 you will gradually begin to take over before they notice what’s going on!” ‘They’ being the people in her country who would not accept a woman running the farm, not respect a woman as a business partner. However, as an older woman, as an honorable dowager and a yearlong partner of her father, she might have made the impossible come true, would have made her dream come true to be a horse breeder. A female Arab horse breeder! But there never would have been an Adam Cartwright in her life.

Was there an Adam Cartwright in her life? Did she have a life at all, after her father’s untimely death had put an end to her dreams? She had run away from the ruins of her life, looking for adventure – or maybe just something – and now? Could there be a place for her in Adam’s life? He loved the Ponderosa, all the land around it – what, if she would ruin it for him? He had to live with his family, with his father…

Lilyah opened her eyes, trying to shake off the disturbing thoughts. What had her father always said? Live your life, child – leave the worries to Allah! And Adam? Adam had said ‘Give it time…’ She felt her lips trembling as she remembered the moment on the top of that mountain, the moment they had kissed for the first time. She still saw the desire in his hazel eyes, this look that she would never forget. She did not know what had hurt him before in his life, but she knew that he should never be hurt again. And yet he had been hurt, that night they had said good-bye. She had sensed the pain in him so clearly when he had avoided her look.

She felt her eyes burning again and tiredly brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. The mare stood still, with no sign of restlessness or impatience – very good, as Joe had explained that a ranch horse required this calmness in many situations. Chai of course was far away from such calmness; the black stallion was clearly anticipating some action, best of all another fine run. As soon as he caught her look at him, he threw up his head and gave a hopeful whinny. A small smile stole on her lips. Dearest Chai – he never failed to cheer her up!

Lilyah took a deep breath and nudged the big mare into motion again, began to test the gaits and the mare’s willingness to obey to even the slightest sign of her thighs, trying her best to concentrate on the horse only. What sense did it make to churn her thoughts? Adam was strong, he was smart, he would know what was best for him. She should just leave everything up to him. Right now, getting him a perfect horse was all that she could do. The mare was attentive and reliable, and not even the spirited stallion prancing about and around them distracted her. A wonderful horse for Adam!

“Chai!” Lilyah had to chuckle as the stallion reared up, obviously a bit miffed that he wasn’t the center of attention. “You make a lousy ranch horse, you know that?”

Chai neighed and tossed his head up and down, his right front hoof scratching the ground.

“Ah, come here, boy…” Lilyah called him to her side and changed from the mare’s back on his. Dismissing the thought of leading the mare she knotted the ends of the split reins together and let them lie over her withers. “Let’s see if you already trust me!”

The mare watched as she rode a few yards ahead.

“Come on, girl!” Lilyah reined in Chai and looked back to her. “Come on, we’ll go!”

The mare nickered and followed, staying at the stallion’s side as they fell into an extended trot. She had a wide, powerful stride and Lilyah could not help to visualize a dark clad rider on her back.
* * *

 

Clang!

The hammer hit the yellow glowing piece of metal on the anvil, sending sparks all around.

“Adam…”

Clang! Clang! Clang!

The glowing iron twitched under the heavy blows as the hammer kept on battering its edges. Adam did not even look up as he bent the piece over the anvil’s horn, forcefully hammering it into a rounded shape until the glowing yellow turned to red; and Ben was left to wonder if his son just had not noticed him or if he deliberately ignored him. Given the dark mood Adam had been in ever since he was back on the ranch both were possible.

Clang! Clang!

“Adam!”

“Pa, I’m working…” Adam turned around and shoved the iron back into the fire, treading the bellows such that the loud hissing sound drowned Ben’s next words. The flames roared up under the pressure of air, sparks flew as he stirred the charcoal to get the half-forged piece of iron back to the highest possible temperature, back to glowing yellow. The heat that spread from the forge was unbearable, even though the place was open on two sides.

Ben pressed his lips together as he looked at his son’s back. Of course, Adam would need some time to get over the disappointment he had suffered, and throwing himself into hard work was probably the best he could do. Still Ben felt a deep discomfort. Not only because he couldn’t talk with Adam, not without bringing up the dreaded subject of Little Joe and that woman, but even more because he felt the growing estrangement between himself and his eldest. It wasn’t the first time that he had the silent fear that one fine day, Adam would just turn his back and walk away, looking elsewhere for a kind of life the Ponderosa could not offer him. Up to now this fear had always been eased. There had been chances enough for Adam to work as an engineer or an architect in the steadily growing town of Virginia City, and yet he had always avoided the final decision for any such thing in the long run. In the end, in spite of all his education and training, it had always been proven that his heart belonged to good, honest ranch work. At least this was how Ben had always seen it, taking comfort in the thought that his oldest son had grown into a strong and reliable pillar of the ranch. He belonged to the Ponderosa, and all his books, drawings, poems and guitar playing could not draw him from the life he was meant for.

He watched as Adam stopped the bellows and brought the hot yellow iron back on the anvil.

Clang! Clang! Clang!

He must have been working in the forge for quite some time, his chest beneath the damp open shirt dripping with sweat, his hair wet and his face dirtied, smeared from wiping the heat from it again and again. His eyes were glued to the iron on the anvil, the hammer did not stop battering. How long had he been at it? Ben admitted to himself that he didn’t know. Adam had avoided him, had stayed away from the common meals, had buried himself in work so deep that no one could reach him. And now he seemed to have forgotten that his father was standing there.

Ben swallowed down the growing anger and admonished himself to be patient. Adam would get over it, sooner or later. He had never taken very long to recover to his old self, no matter how hard the blow. He just wasn’t that type of man. Joe would be a different matter… Ben pushed aside the nagging worries about his youngest boy and waited until the yellow glowing iron had cooled down to deep red again, until the exact moment that Adam rested the hammer to turn to the hot coals again.

“Adam, the Millers have stopped by and I think you should hear what they have to say! I would like you to come to the house and meet them!”

Clang!

The hammer had hit the anvil, missing the iron whose color indicated that its best forging point had been passed, anyway. The red glow on the hot surface started wavering, revealing the dark grey of the metal underneath, obscuring it again, vacillating as the grey persisted. Before long, the glow would be gone.

Ben met Adam’s look from darkened eyes under furrowed brows and felt a bristling on his neck. Yet Adam’s face showed no emotion, no challenge, the most that could be seen was the strain from the hot sudorific work.

“I’m almost finished.” Adam lowered his eyes on the iron piece. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Ben tried an intimate smile. “You sure could use a cool drink, boy!”

“Yah.” Adam turned almost abruptly, pushing the iron in the fire and treading the bellows. Once again the device noisily hissed its air into the rousing flames while Adam stirred up the charcoal.

For a moment Ben stood there, wanting to say another word, yet knowing that it hardly would be heard in all the noise. He finally gave up and left, the clang-clang-clang of the hammer following him.

 

* * *

 

Adam tried hard to fight down the lingering uneasiness as he put the leather apron on its hook and started to clean up the forge. He was in no mood for any social calls, had no nerve to listen to the constant whining and bickering about Hatfield and his overgrazing of the open range, all he wanted was to be left alone. Once again he thought of just getting on his horse and running away. A few days out in nature, better still a few weeks, some hunting, some fishing, nothing but the wild around him – he longed for it so badly. No people, no talking, just silence and peace of mind, trying to heal the wounds. He could take a couple of books and spend a few days on the Indian Needle…

Adam closed his eyes. He couldn’t leave. He had to be there when Lilyah returned – and how could he ever go to the Indian Needle again without feeling her kiss? The touch of her hand, the look of her eyes? Her beautiful dark eyes…

He hastily brushed the image away and bowed over the horse trough, washing his face. He had to stop thinking, he was lacerating his heart.

Tired in soul and mind, yet outwardly unfazed and calm, he walked up to the house, his gaze casually gliding over the two Miller horses at the post next to his father’s buckskin. It did not take much to figure that his father and Henry Miller were most likely sticking their heads together, wondering how a mad hatter like Jeremiah Hatfield could squash a farm house in that tiny forgotten spot between the Ponderosa and the Miller ranch and then raise cattle without having the land to support it. Young Miller would stand aside and nod and throw in a clever remark now and then – or whatever he deemed to be clever. Adam sighed. He was so sick of it right now. He threw a last longing look to the mountains and entered the house.
* * *

 

“Ah, Adam, my good boy!” Henry Miller got up from the settee, smiles all over his weathered face, heartily patting his shoulder. “Look here, Frank! That’s what a young man looks like who has worked hard all day!”

Frank Miller dutifully smiled at his father’s remark. Clad in a fashionable suit and a clean white shirt, complete with tie, he did not really look like he would delight in dirty work – rather as if he was more used to impressing the ladies. Beneath the smile, his steel blue eyes took on a slightly contemptuous look as he scanned over Adam’s sweaty appearance. Adam did not flinch as he nodded from father to son and helped himself to a brandy. It hadn’t been a year since he had picked young Miller up from a street in San Francisco, after saving his life from a couple of majorly disgruntled gambling sharks. Turned out the young man had partied and gambled away all the money he had inherited from his mother, along with a sizable part of his father’s assets. Broke, desperate and at the end of his rope, he had been lucky Adam had come to the rescue and shovelled him back home to his father. Since then, Adam was a hero in the eyes of old Miller, especially after the prodigal son had shown repentance, changed his ways and finally started to help his father on the ranch, even though he still preferred to conduct hard work rather than doing it himself.

“Adam, it seems the Hatfield problem has taken on a new dimension!” Ben throned in his red armchair, a serious expression on his face. “There had been a shootout on the open range. No one was killed, but Hatfield vowed to shoot at anyone who gets in his way!”

“And he threatened you, Adam!” Henry Miller added sternly.

Adam merely raised an eyebrow. “Me?”

“You were the one who talked the Cattlemen’s Association into fostering the open range, you worked out the schedule when to graze on the range and when to spare it.” Ben went on. “It seems that Hatfield blames it on you that we have an eye on the range.”

“I see…” Adam took a sip of the brandy and leaned against the stones of the hearth. He had no intention to sit down.

Ben crinkled his brow. “You don’t seem to take this very seriously!”

“But you should!” Henry Miller chimed in. “Hatfield is a dangerous man! Had it not been for Frank, some of the hands might be dead now!”

Adam nodded his head. Frank Miller had quite a reputation as a fast draw. Hatfield, as far as Adam recalled, had a decent hunting rifle – and an ancient gun that looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned for ten years. Hardly a match. He incidentally looked over to the young man who seemed to be basking in his father’s words.

“It’ll be only a matter of time until the situation escalates!” Ben’s face had darkened. “We have tried everything to talk some sense into this man, and all it got us were vile cussin and obscenities! And now he’s threatening my son! Frank, what did he say exactly?”

“That he would get back at that high and mighty Cartwright yankee who brewed up this whole mess,” Frank replied. “He had a few more things to say about Adam for which I almost knocked him down! I don’t like scum like that running his filthy mouth about good men, least of all when they are my friends and I have to thank them for something.”

Both Ben and Henry magnanimously nodded to those words. Adam felt like he was in a cheap burlesque. There they were, acting as if Hatfield’s few critters would be a threat to civilization. He wearlily looked into his glass. Hatfield was a low life, with more than one jail sentence in his record for cattle rustling, a gruff, primitive man who couldn’t follow a straight thought if his life depended on it. Adam had tried talking to him and he would have met more understanding had he read Euclides’ Elements to his horse. Hatfield just didn’t get it into his thick head that the constant overgrazing of the open range would ruin the area completely within five years or less. A barely noticeable, sarcastic twitch stole over his lips. Not that the respectable gentlemen of the Cattlemen’s Association, including his father, had grasped it any easier… It had taken Adam quite some time to make them understand that they were about to destroy the range, that they already had severely damaged it by grazing their stock there in order to spare their own pastures, that about 40 per cent of the original good wild grass had been usurped by weeds and bare earth because it had never been given time to grow back. And their large herds were more of a problem than Hatfield’s small stock. Nevada territory was a dry and arid land, it wasn’t made for giant herds of cattle. By and by, with more patience than he had ever thought he could muster, he had gotten them to agree to a mutual strategy to foster the range, use it cautiously, give it time to recover, lest it be irreparably ruined to the detriment of all. But they all had their own pastures, alternates to graze their cattle when the range was spared. Hatfield hadn’t.

“Don’t you think so, Adam?” Ben asked.

“Uhm…” Adam cocked his head. He hadn’t even noticed the conversation splattering on, and he had no idea what his father was asking. What difference did it make, anyway? “Sure, Pa…”

“Good!” Ben beamed, quite obviously very pleased with his son’s answer. For the first time in weeks, he looked at his eldest with open, untainted affection.

Adam felt like the walls were falling in on him. He downed the last brandy and it tasted sour. “I gotta change some…” He nodded from one to another and went up the staircase, trying his best to not run.

 

* * *

 

 

“Santa what??” Little Joe’s jaw almost dropped to the ground. “But I thought her name is Mariah!?”

“Only the stable hands call her Mariah!” Señor Ortega assumed a most dignified posture. “But that’s not what’s standing in her papers! Her real name is Santa Maria Nuestra Señora de las Lagrimas de la Castanueva y Zahara!” He propped out his chubby chin. “That’s her name, and that’s what I have to write into the contract!”

Little Joe couldn’t help a snicker, visualizing his brother calling his new horse. As if the poor bugger wasn’t punished enough having to memorize his girl’s mile-long name.

“I’m not sure…” Lilyah stepped up to the big desk behind which the ranch owner was seated and Little Joe almost cackled when he noticed Ortega pulling in his head. Lilyah had fought nails and claws for the big chestnut mare, valiantly supported by Señora Ortega who had thrown a theatrical temper tantrum when her husband had indicated that he would not trade a horse for pearl jewelry. United in combat, the fiercely determined ladies had reduced the proud Spaniard to rubble – all Joe had had to do was to show the poor man how he could survive his ordeal and live to happily look forward to a bunch of wonderful half Arabian foals next year.

“The name is doubtlessly very impressive and evinces her noble heritage, but I think ‘Mariah’ sounds so much more familiar.” Lilyah’s dark eyes wandered to Joe. “Adam might start wondering if he reads that long name…”

He understood. Now that the mare was secured, Lilyah was worrying about how Adam would take the gift. Presenting him with a beautiful horse was a nice thing, but it really wasn’t necessary to have ‘ultra-expensive several-thousand-dollar-horse’ written all over it. Rubbing his chin and wrinkling his nose, Joe’s gaze fell on the mass of papers on Ortega’s desk. The mare’s pedigree, her import papers, the lengthy contract of purchase the Señor was filing. Yikes, the complete herd of Arizona horses that they had bought four years ago in Yuma hadn’t accumulated such a heap of paper!

Joe pinched his nose. “What we need is a normal bill of sale…”

“A normal bill of sale…” Ortega echoed in shock and looked from one to another. “Dearest Señor, Señorita – an excellent brood mare of such value and lineage cannot be traded for a normal bill of sale! The most enviable gentleman destined to be the lucky owner of this mare will doubtlessly want to know everything about her background and origin!”

‘Yeah, that’s what we’d like to prevent…’ Joe thought and produced a boyish smile. “Oh, he’s not the curious kind. I know him well, he’s my brother!”

Lilyah gave him a doubtful look while her small face indicated that she was strenuosly thinking herself.

“We might have it both ways!” she finally exclaimed. “We have the mare’s orderly papers that I will give to Adam at some later time, and a normal bill of sale that we can give him right away!”

“Sounds good!” Joe took another sip of his very exquisite sherry and comfortably leaned back in the armchair next to the marbled fireplace. Ortega really knew how to live, the house was a palace, Spanish style.

“Whom should I note as the buyer?” Ortega asked resignedly.

“Adam Cartwright!” Lilyah stood next to the desk and watched him writing. “Please, don’t mention the pearls! As you said, you wouldn’t want the reputation of trading your horses for jewelry.”

Joe smirked into his glass as he saw the pained expression on Ortega’s face.

“And please don’t write 3000 dollars!” Lilyah’s small hand pointed at the contract. “Make it less! Joe, what would be an average price for a horse in this country?”

At first Joe grinned at Ortega’s flinch, but then his forehead crinkled. “Lily, I don’t know… Adam knows a little something about horses. He’ll never believe us we bought her for 50 dollars from the livery stable.”

Ortega looked as if he had seen an apparition.

“What would you suggest?” she asked.

“Hmm…” Joe sat up, his brow furrowed. All of a sudden, he snipped his fingers. “Hah! I’ve got it! We don’t mention a purchase at all, we’ll say you’ve won her! In a poker game!”

“Joe, that’s brillant!” Lilyah beamed. “Err… what is a poker game?”

“Señorita, Señor, por favor… please…” Señor Ortega raised both hands. “Please, I understand that the future owner should not know the price of the mare as it is meant to be a gift, I understand! But, I do not, nor did I ever have, play poker or risk my horses at gambling!”

Lilyah bowed foward, her eyes sparkling. “But perhaps in a horse race?”

Joe jumped from his armchair. “Lily, that’s it! Chai can beat any horse!”

“Por favor!” Señor Ortega showed visible signs of exasperation. “I will note the price of the mare as an undisclosed sum! I will note our special arrangement about the covering of several of my mares by Señorita Lilyah’s stallion! But – this – will – have – to – be – it!” He drew a deep breath. “Additionally, I would strongly advise that the future owner should have legal and sufficient papers for the mare!”

“Alright!” Lilyah nodded her head. “Just one little thing – please put our special arrangement about my stallion’s stud services first and the undisclosed sum beneath this. Perhaps as ‘further expenses’ or so. That will make it look less important!”

Señor Ortega sighed and did as he was told. Lilyah watched as he filed the contract and then did the necessary owner changes in the mare’s pedigree. At long last, it stood there black on white, on top of the cover – Owner: Adam Cartwright.

A bright smile lit Lilyah’s face, and her heart was singing.
* * *

 

“Joe! Come on!” Lilyah reined in a fervidly dancing Chai. “What takes you so long?”

Little Joe sighed and stifled a yawn as he squinted into the beginning dawn. Was it dawning at all? It rather seemed like the middle of the night. Crazy woman! Yawning again and too tired for his trademark swing mount, he climbed on the big chestnut mare named Mariah and thanked Señor Ortega who handed him the lead rope of his paint pony. Cochise would carry what little supplies they had for the journey back home.

“Hasta la vista!” Ortega smiled. “And don’t forget you’ll always be welcome here!”

“We won’t forget!” Lilyah’s own excitement reflected on her stallion who reared half up and neighed loudly. They both wanted to run now.

“Joe! Yallah!” Lilyah gave Chai’s head free and they raced out of the yard.

“Hey!” Joe nudged the mare into a gallop and was once again impressed by the sheer power she embodied. Adam certainly was a lucky man!

And then they were on their way back to the Ponderosa.
* * *

 

 

 

21. To Learn How to Trust 

“Reckon I go to sleep, ‘sgotten darn late, don’t ya fellers think so…?” Hoss stretched his arms and yawned, looking left and right to see if there was any reaction. His father lounged in his red armchair, looking in the hearth, brooding. Adam was seated at the round table, completely absorbed running calculations. Neither had spoken a word in hours.

“You do that, boy…” A weak smile flickered over Ben’s face as he nodded to his middle son, but it faded fast when he noticed Hoss’s unhappy look. Tomorrow was the day they had planned to travel to Sacramento, looking for Joe from whom they had heard nothing all week. Ben had telegraphed the authorities there time and again and not a trace had been found. He had remembered too late that tomorrow was also Adam’s birthday – in fact he had all but forgotten it in his growing worries about his youngest son. Adam had never really celebrated his birthday, but still… His eyes fell on his eldest who had not even looked up. At least Adam was in the great room with his family – something that had become a rare occasion lately.

“Who could that be?” Hoss stopped on his way to the staircase. The sound of hooves could be heard from outside, indicating several horses.

Ben frowned. “It’s hardly the time for a call…”

“I’ll go check.” Hoss walked up to the small window above the desk and peered out.

“Hoss, who is it?”

Hoss took a breath as he turned to his father and brother, looking from one to another.

“It’s Little Joe…” He hesitated a moment. “…and the young lady.”

Adam’s heart skipped a beat, his hand cramped around the pen. The moment was there – the moment he had yearned for and feared. The figures in the journal in front of him blurred as he slowly got up, trying to collect himself, trying to not show any vulnerability, any distress, any emotion at all for others to notice. If… if the one thing he feared the most would come to be, he would not show how deeply it hurt him. He felt the blood draining from his face and anger at himself welled up in him, anger at his own weakness. It didn’t help any, he had to get through this.

“Adam!” He felt his father’s hand on his shoulder as he reached the door, squeezing hard. “Adam, stay calm! Remember, he’s your brother!”

“Don’t worry, I am calm!” Adam unwillingly shook off his father’s hand and straightened his back, stepping through the door like he was on his way to the scaffold. At first he could not see anything, the place in front of the house was empty. Only on second sight he noticed that Joe and Lilyah had dismounted close to the barn. From the little he could make out in the darkness, they seemed to be whispering with each other.

Adam closed his eyes and turned half around, turning his shoulder to the yard, turning his face away, his stretched out hand clenching the post. It was initially thought to be a posture of calmness, but he gradually realized that he needed the support. Deep inside, he knew that he would not be able to watch his brother being together with the woman he loved. And yet he could not leave.
* * *

 

“Drat! It’s Adam!” Little Joe peeped over to the house where his father and brothers had just appeared. “Why in tarnation is he always a step ahead of me??”

Lilyah felt her heart beating faster as her eyes caught the dark clad figure. She could not see his face as the men were mere silhouettes against the dim light falling from the open door behind them, but something did not appear right with him and she felt her worries rising again.

“It’s too late to hide Mariah, is it?” She nervously played with the mare’s lead rope.

Joe wrinkled his forehead, thinking. He and Lilyah had initially planned to hide the mare so that no one would see her before Adam’s supposed return on his birthday tomorrow. They might still do it. In the shadows of the night, chances were good that what could be seen from the house was not much more than the white parts of Cochise’s coat. But then he looked at Lilyah and smirked. She had been so excited – miles before they had reached the Ponderosa she had literally chased him off Mariah’s back, and then had spent almost an hour to brush and groom the mare, in spite of pitch-black darkness. Not to mention that she had insisted on riding all day and night, deaf against all suggestions for a much-needed rest.

“There’s only an hour or two left until his birthday,” Joe smiled. “You might as well give her to him now!”

“You think so?” she asked, her face brightening as he nodded. Joe almost laughed as she hastily turned around to run her fingers through the mare’s forelock, combing and arranging it. At the same time, he glanced over to the house and his amusement faded. Something was amiss, an impression that gained momentum after Hoss had lit the oil lamp above the doorway. Father and brothers were standing there like posts.

“Uh… oh…” Joe pulled a face. “Seems Pa isn’t in his very best mood tonight.”

Lilyah did not answer. She had yet to see Ben Cartwright in a good mood. Her eyes were glued to Adam’s dark, still figure. Why didn’t he just come over? What had happened to him? He was turning his back on her…

“Come on, let’s go!” Joe brushed off the vague notion of trouble ahead and they approached the house, leading Mariah between them. Chai followed, prancing back and forth.

The closer they came, the more it felt like Ben was growing to the proportions of a medieval dragon, his black eyes hard as steel, his lips a sharp line in a clouded face. Adam did not even raise his head and merely showed his shoulder, and Hoss looked like an unhappy dog that someone had soaked in a bucket of water.

“Hey, guys…” Joe attempted an innocent smile as they came to a halt in front of the doorway.

“Where – have – you – been??” Ben’s voice wasn’t even loud, but the words seemed to steam with subdued fury, lingering into every corner of the dark yard.

“Err… uhm…” Joe gulped and cleared his throat. “In California, Pa, getting that horse for Adam…” He apishly pointed to Mariah.

Adam stiffened, the knuckles of his hand at the post turned white. Hoss’s jaw dropped to the floor.

Ben stared. “What??”

Lilyah straightened her back, imperiously raising her head. She unconsciously adapted the proud posture her father used to show when he put others in their place. It made her feel stronger, less vulnerable.

“It was my fault, Mr. Cartwright!” she declared, in a very clear and dignified voice. “I asked Joe to come along with me because I needed his advice and expertise!”

Joe donned his most self-important grin and pretentiously nodded his head.

“His… expertise…” Ben broke off, dumbfounded. “For what?”

“For the horse, of course!” Lilyah held her head high. “While I do know a great deal about horses, I would not have known what to look for in a good ranch horse. Joe could tell me that!”

Ben’s eyes bulged as he stared at her, then at the mare, then at Joe.

“Hey, guys!” Joe laughed and wagged on his heels, producing a broad, boyish grin. “You certainly won’t tell me you people were worried!”

“WORRIED??” Ben exploded in such a way that even the calm Mariah backed away. Joe did a few hasty steps backwards himself, raising an arm as if someone were to hit him. His father looked like he was going to burst. “WHAT do you think we were, after finding out that you two have cashed in 3000 dollars from the bank in Virginia City, got a pack horse and disappeared into nowhere? WHAT??”

“Oh, Joe…” Lilyah’s brow furrowed. “You told me this banker would not tell anyone…”

Ben nearly lost it. “WHY NOT TELL ANYONE?” His rage almost boiled over as the black stallion acted up, giving him an aggressive snort and hammering his front hooves into the ground, yet he was cautious enough to step back.

Lilyah did not flinch. “Because it was meant to be a surprise, Mr. Cartwright!”

“A surpr…” Ben did not get the word out.

“It’s Adam’s birthday tomorrow…” Joe chimed in from behind the mare.

Adam cringed and closed his eyes. He did not turn around, he did not know what to do, what to say, where to look. Had there been a mousehole somewhere, he would have disappeared.

“You mean…” Hoss stepped forward, incredulously looking from one to another. “You just went off to get Adam a horse for his birthday?”

“Sure, what did you think?” Joe laughed and pointed to the mare, acting up again as if everything around was blissful harmony. “Just look at her, isn’t she a beauty? Hey, Adam, she’ll be the best roper you’ve ever had! She really has an instinct for cattle, and she’s fast as lightning! And it just seems like she never gets tired, she’s got power like I never saw before!” He bustled all around the mare, patting all over her. “Look here, what a broad chest she’s got! Legs like iron, and really strong hooves! She doesn’t even need shoes!”

Ben was completely thrown off track. “You… you did not marry her?”

Joe startled and furrowed his brow. “Pa, she’s a great horse, but…” He grinned. “I couldn’t do that to Cochise.”

Lilyah had barely followed the exchange, she had only eyes for Adam who still had not visibly moved. She hesitatingly covered the few steps to him, her small hand cautiously touched his arm. “Adam… Adam, I’m sorry you have worried. We thought we would be back before you, and that you would not notice anything…”

Adam slowly moved his head and looked at her from the corner of his eye, every muscle in his face working. He still did not know what to do, and he was deeply ashamed. He felt so helpless like never before in his life.

“Won’t you… just look at her?” Lilyah turned around and stretched out her hand. “Joe!”

Joe handed her the rope and she nestled it into Adam’s hand. “Her name is Mariah…” she said softly. “She’s not the Arabian that I would have dreamed for you, but she’s the best horse we could find!”

“She sure is!” Joe hastened to get out of his father’s reach again, his head popping up behind Mariah’s backend. “Hey, Adam, you should see her turns! Swift like a charm!”

Adam finally came around, an almost destitute expression on his face. He stood there with the rope in his hand, but all he saw was Lilyah. He swallowed. His jaw worked, and he still did not know what to say. He flinched when he felt a hearty nudge against his shoulder and grimaced when Chai gave him a friendly greeting blow straight on his cheek, showering him with some horse spit.

Lilyah remained silent as her eyes tried to read his face that was shaded by the darkness, outside the reach of the oil lamp above the doorway. What had ever happened to him?

“Adam…” Ben cleared his throat, having finally calmed down, at least on the outside. He had vast troubles coming to terms with the whole situation, his anger tainted with growing discomfort. His words came rather ponderously. “Why don’t you bring this horse in the barn so that we all can go inside? It’s late and we might all go to bed and talk tomorrow…”

“Great idea, Pa!” Joe yawned so demonstratively that it almost looked funny. “Awww, I’m darn tired, I can hardly keep my eyes open! Been in the saddle all day!” He squinted from his father to Hoss. “Just have to stable the horse…”

Lilyah looked up. “Joe, I’ll take care of Cochise…”

“Oh… uhm… thanks, Lily!”

Adam flinched at the affectionate diminutive. Joe did not notice his brother’s reaction, he had his mind on working a rather unusual way into the house – he casually strolled on the porch, shirked himself around the table and then whizzed through the door as if the devil were behind him.

Ben immediately flew around, like an old buzzard whose hunting instinct was stirred by the movement of the prey.

“JOSEPH!” He stormed after his youngest without looking back.

“Dadburnit, that crazy Little Joe!” Hoss’s tone still revealed the immense relief he felt, his whole posture spoke of the ton load that was taken from his heart. “Hey Adam, that’s a mighty fine horse you’ve got there! And Miss Lilyah – welcome back!”
* * *

 

They were alone. As if both had the same thought, they silently turned and walked up to the barn; Adam leading the big chestnut mare while Lilyah gathered Cochise, having Chai freely walking behind her. She watched Adam opening the barn’s door, barely making out more than his silhouette in the moonless night. When he lit the oil lamp inside, her heart cramped. His face… Now, in the full light, she saw how haggard he looked, how taut.

“Cochise’s box?” She pointed to an empty box, trying to ease her disquiet about his restrained behaviour.

Adam nodded his head, his eyes taking in every detail of her small figure. The black silk of her gown was wrinkled and dusty, the head jewelry holding back her long hair a tad out of place here and there, one golden comb on the verge of falling out, the rich long curls looking as if she had not combed them in quite some time. It must have been a long and hard ride for her, he could sense that she was exhausted. And still she was beautiful… so beautiful. And he had not trusted her…

“Wait…” He saw her unbuckling Cochise’s girth and quickly entered the box. “It’s a heavy saddle… much heavier than yours.”

“Yes…” She watched him taking the saddle off the pinto and placing it on the rack. For a moment, he just stood there, undecided.

“Adam…” She softly touched his arm and the asking gaze of her eyes went all through him. He sat down at the edge of the food trough so that her eyes were almost on the same level as his, yet the words were still stuck in his throat as she raised her hand to touch his face. Her eyes seemed to grow larger and darker and he saw the pain in them.

“Adam…” Her voice was a mere whisper as her fingers gently followed the deepened lines in his face, the shadows under his eyes. What had he been through that there were these traces in his features? Traces that spoke of so much suffering? “Adam, you have not cared for yourself…”

He took a deep breath and wordlessly enclosed her in his arms, pressing her against his chest so hard that for a moment she feared he might squash her. And still she returned his embrace, clinging her arms around him as tight as she could, nestling her whole being into the warmth of his nearness, in the sensation that he was there, that he was holding her. Adam squeezed his eyes shut as he buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry…” he whispered.

She had to struggle to free herself enough to raise her head, searching for his eyes. “Sorry? For what?”

“I…” He groped for words. “I thought I’d lost you… I really thought…” He shook his head, an almost embarrassed little laugh on his lips, as if he could not believe what he had thought. “And I was jealous… I should’ve known better…”

Lilyah furrowed her brow and opened her mouth, but then closed it again. Her hand wandered over his head, tenderly caressing the short black curls in his neck. It took a while until she spoke, very softly, almost shyly. “I think… it takes a while for a heart to learn how to trust…”

“Yah…” His eyes sank into hers while their foreheads were touching. “It takes a while…”

“But… hearts do learn – don’t they?”

“Yes…” He could drown in the endless darkness of these velvet eyes. “They do learn…” He pulled her closer to him and kissed her. She willingly responded, her hands gliding over his neck and shoulders as his mouth opened hers and their feelings broke free. Adam gave in to his desire and tousled her hair with both hands, feeling her shiver as his lips caressed her neck. His hands softened their grip to avoid hurting her, getting lost in the drapes of the silk as she pressed herself closer to his body.

The impassioned moments came to an abrupt end when Lilyah received a bump in the back while Cochise gave an angry snort and started stomping. Chai obviously was bored and had decided to see what his humans were doing, squeezing himself into the narrow box that was just big enough for one horse. The pinto wasn’t exactly pleased by the intruder and attempted to kick, Chai retorted with biting.

“Chai! Behave yourself!” Lilyah hastily tried to navigate her stallion backwards out of the box. “You’re a plague, you know that?”

Adam calmed down an agitated Cochise, glad that Lilyah had made it out of the box without getting hurt by the unruly bolting pinto. His breathing still was ragged and he felt as if the world was suddenly a bit colder after her warm body was no longer in his arms. He took another deep breath, his eyes on her delicate figure. “We… should first care for the horses… and then talk.”

“Yes…” She gave him a wistful look and made a vain attempt to sort her tousled hair and rearrange her robes. Her lips, her whole being was still burning from his kisses, and deep inside she felt a glowing desire for more. “Is he hurt?”

“No…” Adam ran a hand over Cochise’s crest. “Nothing happened.”

“Good…” Lilyah held Chai by the bridle and habitually patted his muzzle. “Chai still has saddle and bridle on, that’s why he’s so pesky…”

The first hint of a smile showed on Adam’s lips. “You better care for him then…” It cost him a real effort to force his eyes on the empty food trough. “Was it a hard ride? Because of the feed…”

“Yes, we shouldn’t give them anything except maybe a handful of hay to nibble on.”

He nodded his head and went for the hay, trying to calm down his insides. Just feeding and grooming the horses, it shouldn’t take long…

“You… I think…” Lilyah’s voice suddenly sounded very timid. “I think you best put Mariah in the stall next to the one where Chai was in…”

Adam stopped dead in his tracks. The horse… he had completely forgotten about the horse. Turning around, he glanced over the big chestnut mare who patiently stood there, looking back at him. The first thing that struck him was how nicely she was groomed, whereas the coats of both the black stallion and the paint pony were covered with the dust from the ride. His eyes fell on Lilyah who gazed at him in silent anticipation. She must have been so looking forward to giving him this horse. He felt his heart swelling, and something forming in his throat, affecting his eyes.

“Mariah, eh?” He approached the mare and patted the noble head, once again at a loss for words. How long had she been thinking of this? How did she ever get such an idea? What madness… Aware of Lilyah’s looks, he walked around the mare, scrutinizing every detail of her huge, sinewy body. She was one exceptionally classy horse and he cringed inside figuring what Lilyah might have paid for her – and the implications it might bear. He still remembered when he had bought Sport. He had paid 450 dollars for the partially thoroughbred gelding and his father had been bickering for weeks about the utterly unreasonable vanity of using such an expensive horse for everyday work. Of course, keeping the gelding for leisure rides only had been out of the question – considering his father’s views on animals that would not earn their keep. And that was just one thing. The next would be that it wasn’t quite customary for a complaisant young lady to give expensive gifts to a man – he could only guess what his father might make from this one. Adam suppressed a sigh, but at the same time a small smile played around his lips, gradually spreading over his face. What was customary with Lilyah? He’d better get used to some oddities in his life…

Lilyah had watched him, anxiously as she had sensed his initial reaction had been strangely tedious, but her worries evaporated when she saw his smile, the dimples she loved so much deepening their impression in his cheeks as he looked at her. Her eyes lit up. “You like her?”

“She’s wonderful!” Adam meant it, his smile intensifying as he noticed her joyful relief. And what else should he say? Asking her what on earth she had been thinking? Telling her what a turmoil this whole irrational endeavour had caused? Hurting her by rejecting the gift? Blaming her for the shortsightedness and prejudices of others, himself included? No! He would not let anything spoil this for her. “She’s an absolute dream of a horse!”

“She’s four eighths Andalusian, three eighths Arabian and one eighth Turkoman!” Her eyes were shining as she stepped closer, looking up to him. “That means you have a half Oriental horse!”

“Oh…” His eyebrows climbed up, but he barely saw anything but her eyes. “Sounds like a good runner!”

“Oh yes, she is! Just wait until you ride her!”

“First thing tomorrow!” He took a deep breath. “But, Lilyah…”

“Shsh!” She put a finger on his lips. “Just take her, alright? She’ll be such a good horse for you!”

He felt that something in his throat again. Nodding his head, he touched her finger and kissed it. “Alright!”

“Good!” Her fingers caressed his cheek but her beam faded as she looked in his face. The smile had softened it, but the traces that had so distressed her were still to be seen. And hadn’t she had such worries for him all the time they had been separated? Nagging worries that something was wrong with him?

“Adam… what has happened?”

He hesitated, his hand gently brushed over her face, his thumb caressing her brow. “Nothing that should bother you…” he finally said. “And nothing that can bother me now!”

She just looked at him and he knew she wasn’t assured. “We should care for the horses!” His finger touched her nose, playfully, as if to chase away the unspoken questions in her eyes. “Look at Chai! He’s so dusty, if I wouldn’t know any better I’d take him for a dappled buckskin!”

Her smile was a bit forlorn and she was even more convinced that he was keeping something from her. Still she took his face in both hands and rose to her toes to kiss him. He softly responded.

“Come on…” It took him some considerable effort to let go of her. “We’d better get started or we won’t get anything done!”

His teasing tone, so familiar and dear, brought a twinkle into her eyes. “You’re scratching, anyway…”

“Sorry…” He grinned and rubbed his chin. “Daily evening shaves from now on!”

They both chuckled and finally turned to the horses. Lilyah felt her insides warming up as he took off Chai’s saddle for her before he led Mariah into her stall and then returned to Cochise. She stayed in the middle of the barn with Chai, extensively brushing his black coat, removing all the dust and dirt from the long ride. Adam was a few yards apart, half in darkness in Cochise’s box since the oil lamp’s warm yellow glow did not reach all too far, and yet she felt his presence so intensely. She smiled to herself when she heard him muttering under his breath because the pinto didn’t promptly move as he wanted him to.

Adam felt almost the same, barely concentrating on his brother’s horse. Among the usual sounds in the barn, the low munching of horses nibbling on hay, the occasional shifts of the animals, one special sound attracted all his awareness – the soft rustling of the silk as Lilyah moved. And he also smiled when he heard her whispered chit-chat with her stallion. He did not want to disturb this sonance, but his curiosity finally won over.

“Where did you get her from?” he asked, not stopping brushing the pinto. “The mare?”

“From a place called the Rancho del Ortega.”

“The Ortega ranch??” Adam’s jaw dropped. “That’s close to Sonora! That’s almost 170 miles from here!”

“We made the trip back in four days!” she declared with some pride. “Mariah is as enduring as Chai is!”

Adam couldn’t help a soundless laugh. What an absolutely typical answer for her… “And what was that about Sacramento?”

“Oh, that…” She blushed. “That was just a trick for this sheriff. Joe thought it would be better if we didn’t tell him where we were headed.”

“Joe thought…” Adam closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. When Joe started thinking, the result was usually nonsense. In combination with Lilyah’s irrational impulsivity this could only produce disaster. The likeness between them that had hurt him before – now it almost made him laugh. He could easily figure now what had transpired, even though he doubted that his imagination would ever be sufficient to grasp all the adventurous details.

“Now let me guess – you had a plan! A strategy…”

“Yes!” A tone of surprise swung in her voice, and she smiled as she looked over to him. “Your brother is very good at that! He really was of great help to me!”

Adam grimaced and rolled his eyes, diligently concentrating on the pinto’s shoulders. It actually would be time to brush the haunches, but he wanted to regain control over his facial expression first before turning into her direction again. He didn’t know whether to laugh or to sigh.

“Adam, when did you come back?” She looked over to Cochise’s box. “You could not have been so far ahead of us?”

Adam’s hands lay still. He really did not want her to know what all had happened, it would only make her feel bad. Knitting his brows, he realized that there was no way around it. If he wouldn’t tell her, someone else would.

“Adam?”

He suppressed a sigh. “I came back several days ago. I left the trail… early on.”

“Several… days?” Lilyah’s forehead creased as she contemplated on what these words really meant, and what he might have thought when he came back and found her to be gone. “But… why? I mean…”

“My father had sent a few men after the trail.” Adam hesitatingly went on. “They told me you had left the Ponderosa – to follow me.”

The rustling of the silk had stopped. There was hardly a noise except for the sniffing of Cochise who rumbled around in his food trough, visibly disappointed that he had only gotten so little hay to chew on.

“Lilyah…” Adam put the brush away and covered the few steps to her, gently turning her around to him. “There’ve been a few misunderstandings after you were gone – stupid misunderstandings! No one could explain what you and Joe were up to, and there were some really dumb suspicions about it. But it doesn’t matter anymore! All that counts now is that you are back!”

She looked up to him, her brow furrowed in regret. Her eyes looked as if she were on the verge of tears. He felt so sorry for her, and now he noticed even more than before how exhausted she was.

“You look pretty tired…” His hand softly fondled her hair. “How long have you been in the saddle today?”

She shrugged her shoulders, lowering her eyes. “Since sunup…”

“Looks like you could use a nice, warm bed!” His finger slid under her chin, lifting her face to him. “And you will need your sleep, because I’ll expect you to be well rested tomorrow for a good long ride!”

She tried a smile but it failed. All these traces of pain and hardship in his face – because of her?

“Lilyah…” His baritone was very soft. “I said it doesn’t matter anymore! Come on! Let’s get finished here and call it a day! I want to start early tomorrow; I can’t wait to ride my new horse!”

He recognized with a smile that this actually managed to lift her mood and he watched with silent happiness as she put Chai in the big stall next to the mare, after assuring him that the stallion had become good friends with Mariah and would most likely stay in the stall next to her. Apparently she wasn’t really sure of it because he heard her lengthily admonishing her horse to be a good boy and stay in there. Adam laughed into himself. He only hoped he would not have to find two horses running loose in the yard tomorrow – or even worse, have to shovel them out of the kitchen.

Lilyah found her heart regaining some of its ease as she saw the smile on his lips. She watched him shutting out the lamp and followed him out of the barn. The ranch house lay in darkness and she caught herself at the wish that Ben Cartwright might have retreated to his rooms by now so she would not have to meet him.

“Lil?” Adam closed his arms around her, and even in this darkness she could see the smirk all over his face, the dimples in his cheeks, the twinkle in his eyes. “Just one thing… don’t you ever – not ever – plan a surprise for me again!”

She buried her face in his shirt, forever glad to feel the chuckle in his chest.
* * *

 

22. Training Mariah 

Adam hesitated when he stepped out in the dark hallway, his eyes on the door to Lilyah’s room. He was by no means sure that she would be awake at all, since she certainly had to catch up with some sleep after the long ride from California. Wasn’t it a tad ludicrous to expect her being ready for their usual early morning ride? His fingers merely scratched on the wood, almost bashfully, barely making a noise. The door was immediately opened, as if she had just been waiting for him, and the fine smile playing in her eyes as she glanced through the small opening warmed his heart. Putting one finger on his lips he silently motioned her to follow him and turned to the stairs. The staircase as well as the great room below lay in deep darkness and he waited until Lilyah was at his side.

“Take care…” he murmured and took her arm to assist her down the stairs, staying a step in front of her in case she would trip.

“Thanks…” Her voice was as low as his when they had safely reached the bottom. “But don’t you worry, I have eyes like a cat… ouch…”

Adam gulped down a laugh. “You’d better be the size of a cat to walk under that armchair… ouch!” He flinched as she pinched him in the belly, catching her hand. “Psht…”

Both suppressing their laughter, they scurried to the front door to leave the house in which everybody else was still asleep. Adam opened and gathered jacket, hat and gun belt before he followed her outside, brushing away the cursory thought that this was something like sneaking away, of dodging the encounter with his father whom they had not seen when they had returned from the barn the night before. He admitted to himself that he wasn’t really looking forward to any such encounter, as it might force him into a decision he was not yet ready to make.

“Isn’t it a wonderful morning?” Lilyah stepped out on the yard, taking a deep breath. The darkness of the night was already fading and the reddish violet glow of the upcoming dawn could be seen rising from behind the trees. The air, crispy and fresh after the night’s cooling, was filled with the singing of the early birds who rarely were heard during the hours of the day.

“Seems like we’re getting a nice red morning glow!” Adam buckled his gun belt, his eyes on Lilyah’s figure, and all thoughts of his father sank into oblivion. What a lovely robe she wore again, one he had not seen before. His beautiful little fairy queen… “Would you like a coffee before we ride?”

She turned around to him. “No… let us catch these magic hours! Our first after such a long time…”

“Yeah.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and softly kissed her hair. “And hopefully the first of many…”

Her eyes shone as she looked at him and he felt his heart rejoicing. Nothing had changed, they could just continue from where they had been forced to stop. He bowed his head to kiss her and she readily responded, softly caressing his face.

“You’ll be getting warm in this.” Her hands stroke over the reverse of his yellow suede jacket. “I’ll give you one hour and you’re complaining again for carrying it along – as usual!”

Adam smirked, scrambled his watch out of his pocket and checked the time. “And I’ll make sure to not say a word about it until at least two hours have passed!”

They both laughed and went for the barn. Much to their surprise, Chai was still in his stall and the bar was not even tampered with. Adam chuckled as he overheard Lilyah’s wordy praise for the stallion, as if the simple act of not breaking out were a most outstanding achievement. Perhaps for Chai, it was…

Relishing in the awareness of Lilyah being around, Adam provided hay for both horses and then dedicated himself to the chestnut mare, softly talking to her and brushing her coat, not so much because she needed it, but to get her used to him. It was just now that it really sank in that this was his new horse. If she would run only half as good as she looked she would be more than a dream. His hand slowly glided over the mare’s back. How often had he thought of getting a faster horse, regret over having lost Sport, or the racing horse he and Hoss once bought? Quite often – but he had not acted upon it. It had always been just a thought, something like a little boy’s dream that a grown-up man had to brush aside.

“Adam, I think you should use the bridle she came with for a while!” Lilyah looked over the rack. “She’s very soft in her mouth, she doesn’t need the curb bit you’ve used.”

“Hmm…” He took the bridle which differed from his own just in that it had a snaffle bit without shanks. “I can give it a try – see how I’ll get along with it.”

“Oh, you will just fine!” There was not the slightest doubt in Lilyah’s voice as she turned and began to saddle Chai.

Adam smiled to himself and bridled the mare, put the saddle blanket on and then hesitated, pinching his nose. Having made up his mind, he turned and disappeared in the tack room at the back of the barn.

“Adam?” Lilyah led Chai out of the stall. “What are you doing?”

“Getting Sport’s old saddle!” Adam rumbled around in the small room and unearthed his old saddle that he hadn’t used for three years. Luckily he had cared for it regularly and kept it in perfect shape all that time. “She’s much bigger than the gelding, my current saddle might not really fit. Sport was nearly as big as she is!” He checked on the stirrups and fenders. “Perfect!”

He started saddling the mare and felt the growing anticipation inside. He just couldn’t wait to ride this horse.
* * *

 

Lilyah smiled to herself as she rode Chai across the open plain, barely taking her eyes off Adam. Not only because he gave such an impressive sight on the big, proud mare whose coppertone coat seemed to be glowing in the first rays of the sun, but more so for the amazing change in his demeanour. Having before directed all his attention to her, pointing out the strikingly beautiful sunrise in the deep red morning glow, talking about a special spot in the hills from which to watch it best, he now seemed to have all but forgotten about it. His mind was focused on the chestnut mare, and Lilyah’s heart brimmed with joy while watching when it was so apparent that he was just entering hitherto undiscovered lands.

“Hold it, Chai…” Whispering into her stallion’s rotating ears, she kept the reins short, unaffected by his impatient dancing about. Of course Chai wanted to run, but it wasn’t time yet. “Not yet, Chai, wait a little…”

She watched as Adam nudged the mare into a wide extended trot, a gait that seemed to be lost on most American horses she had seen until now. Combining the free elegance of an Arabian with the powerful pride of an Andalusian, Mariah regally pranced along, flying on the enormous suspension of her wide strides, her long bushy tail fluttering behind her like a beacon of red velvet fire. Adam sat it out nicely and with ease, and Lilyah noticed with delight that even his seat was changing. He more and more grew into the horse.

Like most riders she had seen in this part of the country, Adam had never been paying all too much attention to the horse, more or less seeing it as a means of transportation only, a means for work. He had not been raised in a country where the horse was hailed as Allah’s greatest creation, a country replete with legends, poems, songs and odes dedicated to the horse, where most people could readily recite the pedigrees of horses their ancestors rode, always the odd specimen in between priding himself with having a horse directly descendent from one of the five legendary mares the prophet Muhammed had owned, where people shared their home, their tent, their food and water with their horses. And he had never felt all the old Arab legends come alive when racing a horse through the desert, the deep fire that started burning inside when the soul became one with the horse, a spirit flying with the wind. But right now, he was feeling the spark that would ignite this fire. He had longed for it before, she had seen the vague desire in his eyes, the wish to share her gallops when he had watched her racing Chai in the morning, but he had not known what exactly he had been missing. He would learn it now.

“Just a little, Chai, just a tiny little…” She giggled into Chai’s ears, almost laying on his crest, not taking her eyes off Adam who now changed gaits, nudging the mare into a canter. She could feel his amazement as Mariah quickly gained speed, stretching her strides. She could just feel his wish to make her run, to check out how fast she could go; the only thing still holding him back being a last bit of what he might call ‘rationality’ – questioning what sense it would make to cause a mere means of transportation to run faster than necessary. But the spark was already itching, clearly showing in the light brightening his eyes. Lilyah quickly scanned the area around them. A wide plain, stretching sheer endlessly against the distant mountains, far from the high pines, merely the occasional group of crooked trees and dried out shrubs here and there, a few boulders spread between, but other than that solid earthy ground, laced with sparse stripes of short brownish grass. A ground just made for flying hooves.

“Now, Chai, yallah!” She shook the reins of the happily neighing stallion, racing him up to Adam and passing him so close that her fluttering robes almost brushed his leg. She didn’t have to wait long for the anticipated reaction.

“YEEEHAW!” Adam kicked the mare into gallop, for one moment breathless at the sheer power exploding beneath him as Mariah erupted into her racing speed.

Lilyah laughed with joy as she heard his cheerful yell, heard the mare approaching fast, she laughed even more as she saw that Adam had to secure his hat, her heart singing at the open, unrestricted excitement on his face. She let a loud cry herself, the same yelling that they used back home in the Sous to drive a herd of horses along, causing Chai to increase his speed. The stallion flew along, especially when he realized that he could not shake off the big mare who valiantly kept her pace, in spite of carrying a 200 pound man on her back.

Side by side, on thundering hooves, their riders cheering, the two horses stormed straight into the glowing sunrise ahead.
* * *

 

“Ho!” Adam slowed down the mare and enjoyed the buoyant ease with which she changed into her wide trot before she came to a halt. Riding this horse was like floating over the ground, there seemed to be no hard movements whatsoever, except maybe the explosive burst into her full speed that had taken him by so much surprise. Once in the gallop, however, she felt like gliding again. He heartily patted the mare’s neck and brushed over her full mane. “Good girl, good girl…”

His eyes fell on Lilyah who halted Chai next to him, her eyes shining. “She’s a magnificent horse!” He had to take a deep breath. “And for me, the wind has now a name – Mariah!”

She laughed. “You could write a song about this!”

“Once I’m finished with my thousand songs for you!” He motioned the mare next to the stallion and leaned over to Lilyah, his hand gently pulling her head to him. “How well did you read my heart, anyway?”

She dropped her eyes, but the smile she gave him from under long lashes spoke a world. His lips met hers and for a tender moment they softly caressed each other.

“There’s another thing still…” Lilyah reined in Chai who had started dancing. “One thing she will have to learn and I want you to teach her this!”

Adam cocked his head. This kiss had ended far too soon… “What would that be?”

“You trust me?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, we dismount!” Lilyah slid off Chai’s back and started unsaddling. “And we take off the saddles!”

Adam raised an eyebrow and followed her example. Whatever she was up to, judging from her demeanour it had to be something important. “And now?”

“Look what I do!” She started walking around, Chai faithfully following her on the heel. She turned left and right, walked backwards and forwards again, all the time with Chai’s nose almost touching her shoulder. The stallion followed her every move.

“This is a very old Arab method to teach a horse loyalty and trust, to make it strong and brave!” she lectured, doing sidesteps and turnarounds with Chai following like a shadow. “You must know that Arabian horses are the most loyal and obedient horses in the world, this is due to the ancient art of Arab horse discipline…”

Adam crossed his arms and made an attentive face, banning all thoughts of wrecked-up buggies and plundered kitchens to the back of his mind. The mere enjoyment of her sweet sight was so much more delightful, anyway. Now with the day’s brightness slowly overpowering the red morning glow he noticed that the fabric of her gown that had looked just dark before was in fact a fine pastiche with stripes of various colors, from dark green over red and purple to brown and gold, very Oriental looking indeed. Even the jewlry in her hair and the inevitable silk veil shimmered in colors, and as usual he mostly admired her long dark hair, admitting to himself that he could spend hours just watching her.

“Adam! Don’t stand there! Do what I do!”

“Oh…” He cleared his throat. “Sorry…” Pursing his lips in amusement, he started walking Mariah around, copying Lilyah’s movements, glad that no one would see them.

“You see that you have to lead Mariah on the bridle, while Chai follows me freely.” Lilyah finally began. “The aim is to make her trust you, so she will follow you freely as well.”

“I see…” Adam patted the mare’s muzzle. “But in all honesty, I don’t mind leading her. And she’s a very good-natured horse, I can’t see how she would ever cause me any trouble.”

“But you try this!” Lilyah gave Chai a tap. “Lie down!”

The stallion willingly lay down and Lilyah sat down before him, laughing when Chai stretched his neck to give her a horse kiss. She went up again and sat on his back, lay on his crest and got back on her feet, running a few steps. Chai jumped back on his hooves and followed her.

“You won’t get her to lie down.” She directed her attention to Adam again. “I’ve tried, and she wouldn’t lie down voluntarily. I could have taught her, but I want you to do it. She must learn that you are her master!”

Adam opened his mouth and closed it again. She was so serious about it that he hadn’t the heart to tell her that he couldn’t really see any sense in such tricks. “What’s so important about making a horse lie down?”

“It’s about trust – trust and confidence! Horses are prey animals, and prey animals who rely on running when in danger are at a disadvantage when lying down, because an enemy could easily attack them.” She looked in his face, almost as if fearing that he might brush her off, but Adam merely nodded, noticing with an inward smile how much this seemed to mean to her.

“If you watch a herd of horses in the wild, or in open pasture, you will see that they never will lie down all at once.” Her small hands stressed her words as she went on. “There will always be at least one to stand at guard while the others are lying. And it won’t be the weakest in the herd that stands guard – it will always be a dominant one whom the others trust. Horses will only lie down when they feel very, very safe.”

Adam nodded his head. “I see what you’re getting at… you want her to feel safe with me – safe enough to lie down.”

“Yes!” She came closer and touched the mare’s head. “This is important, Adam. She is a very intelligent and courageous horse, but she relies on her own power only. She has not learned to trust you, or any other human, like she would trust another horse. She is good-natured and loyal, but when there is a really dangerous situation, a real pressure, she might spook because she thinks she is on her own. She will not think she can trust you to protect her. If she’s scared enough, she will run and forget that you’re there!” She placed a hand on his arm and looked up to him. “And I want you to teach her to trust you!”

“Hmm…” Adam raised his brows, a sparkle of amusement dancing around his eyes. “And how would I do that?”

“By making her lie down!” She went to his saddle and retrieved the lariat. “It’s a very old Arab method that my father had taught me, the way they train war horses to become confident, loyal and brave. War horses are trained this way, and they never leave their riders, not even in the greatest danger. You might try and make her lie down, maybe we won’t need the rope.”

Adam tried patiently to cause the mare to lie down, but it turned out pretty soon that Mariah was not willing to do so. She might have done it inside a stable, but here they were on the wide open plain. Torn between her wish to please and the instinct to stay on guard she began dancing around, eyeing to the black stallion.

“Chai, you go running!” Lilyah gave him a hearty slap on the haunches and the stallion whinnied and shot off. “You see? This also is a part of Arab horse discipline – he runs off like I want him to!”

Adam couldn’t help a chuckle. “Err… I could guess a lot of horses could perform this special feat…”

She shot him a lock in mocking admonishment. “The trick is that he will come back when I want him to!”

“Of course, Ma’am!” He watched her wrapping the lariat around Mariah’s trunk. “Now, let me do this!”

“You know what I want?”

“It’s not hard to guess…” He winked at her. “At least I know of no better way to force a horse to lie down.” He secured the rope and tied the mare’s left front hoof up, leaving her standing on three legs. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that the whole thing would make any sense at all, but it certainly couldn’t harm. It seemed to mean a lot to Lilyah, and somehow he trusted her in this. His eyes fell on the black stallion who stayed in sight, scavenging through the bushes and tumbleweeds for the odd blade of green grass or the one or other delicious herb. There was no doubt at all that he would come running back like a faithful dog as soon as his mistress called.

Bringing the big mare down was a good piece of muscle work and Adam felt almost sorry for the confused horse. Lying on her side, Mariah repeatedly tried to raise her head, eyeing around nervously, her legs flinching.

“Now talk to her, calm her down, pat her – be there for her.” Lilyah scrutinized every inch of the mare’s body. “Do you feel how nervous she is? Feel her neck, and her muscles, all tensed and hard.”

“Yes…” Adam crouched next to the mare’s head and started patting her, talking to her.

“Walk around her, put some of your weight on her, sit on her, kneel on her, show her that you are above her, that you are bigger than she is!” she went on. “You see, a horse will always have in its mind that it is bigger than you, its head is above yours! Watch horses fight – they rear to be bigger than the other one. For a horse to be underneath you is an enormous thing, and a major change in its perception of you!”

He creased his forehead. “Aren’t I always bigger when sitting on it?”

“That’s not the same! When you sit on a horse, you’re out of its sight, you’re not on the same level anymore. The moment you dismount, you’re back on the common level – and you’re small again. Horses are not stupid, they do differentiate. That’s why many horses don’t like to be mounted because they know this gives you power over them that you wouldn’t have otherwise.”

Adam nodded thoughtfully and walked around the mare, put a knee on her haunches, patted her side, sat on her shoulder. Lilyah noticed with delight that he really started to concentrate on what he was doing. She had sensed right from the beginning that he wasn’t all that convinced and more or less had played along to humour her, but now he was fully focused on the mare, taking great time to pat her and talk to her. Mariah was gradually relaxing, but the hardest was yet to come.

“Now take your gun and shoot in the air!”

“What?” Adam got up and gave her a skeptical look. “She’ll hate me for the rest of her life!”

“No!” Lilyah smiled. “She won’t hate you at all! Horses don’t think like humans! But she will learn – she will learn that no matter what terrible things might happen, she will be safe and well because you are there to protect her! She will learn to trust you, and she will be brave and loyal!”

Adam hesitated for one second, looking down on the lying mare. After a short look at Lilyah’s face he drew his gun and fired into the air. The mare flinched and threw up her head, her legs kicking. Adam took a deep breath and fired again.

“Comfort her.” Lilyah gave him a reassuring smile. “Make her see that nothing can happen to her!”

Adam sat down at Mariah’s head, softly talking into her ears, rubbing her face and fondling her forelock. The mare relaxed far sooner than before, her nervous ears and eyes coming to a rest, her legs lying still. Her gaze curiously followed Adam as he changed position, and she eased off even more when he continued his loving.

Lilyah’s heart warmed when watching him, then her eyes fell on Chai who stood a couple of hundred yards away, tensely looking over. Of course the shots had stirred his curiosity and attention. She smiled and waved to the stallion who immediately fell into a gallop to rush over. Adam looked up when Chai stopped at his mistress, whirling up a big cloud of dust around him. At this time of the year, the beginning of summer, the earth on the plains shouldn’t be that dry. There had been no rain this spring, and it showed. He brushed off the passing thought of limited pasture and concentrated on Mariah again. The mare ogled to the stallion, but reclined as Adam continued his soft stroking. She almost reminded him of a giant cat, he wouldn’t have been too surprised had she started purring.

“Shoot again!” Lilyah finally said, after what had seemed like an endless while.

Adam sat on Mariah’s side, drew his gun and shot into the air. The mare barely flinched.

Lilyah’s face broke into a wide smile. “She has learned to trust you! She has learned!”

A lopsided grin stole over Adam’s lips as he looked up to her. A part of him still felt a bit silly, sitting on a lying horse in the middle of nowhere, and he silently hoped that his shooting had not attracted any spectators – thanking the heavens above that they were far enough off the Ponderosa for any shots to be heard. Yet on the other hand he had the strange feeling that this had not been some futile nonsense, that somehow he had gained something with it he could not yet realize or define.

“What do you think… might our Arab horse discipline teacher allow us to get up on our own six feet again?”

Lilyah laughed. “You go ahead!”

Adam got up and untied Mariah’s left front leg. “Come on, girl, up with you!”

The mare scrambled on her legs and immediately pushed her nose against his shoulder. Adam soothed and praised her, brushed the dust of her coat and caressed the small white blaze on her face.

“Let us walk for a while!” Lilyah beamed with joy as she saw so well that Mariah made much more progress than she had hoped for. Delighting her heart even more was that Adam had played along so willingly. A part of her had been afraid that he would simply laugh her off, especially after she had learned from Joe that he was the Ponderosa’s best horse breaker, used to methods that were worlds apart from traditional Arab ways. But then he certainly wasn’t the kind of man who would ridicule unknown methods just because they were unknown. “Do as I do!”

Adam couldn’t help a chuckle as he imitated Lilyah’s movements – the sidesteps, back steps, turns, stops, short runs forward, the sudden changes in direction. If someone would watch them he would doubtlessly believe he’d watched a pair of lunatics practicing the square dance with horses. But he also sensed a change of attitude in Mariah. Whereas she had before just willingly followed the lead rein, she now seemed to follow him, stepping close behind him with her head almost over his shoulder, even before the rein had pulled. Following a sudden impulse he let go of the rein. Mariah followed him nonetheless.

“You see?” Lilyah’s eyes sparkled. “Try and make her lie down again – voluntarily!”

Adam bit his lip and turned to the mare. “Alright, girl… lie down! Come on!” He stepped at her side and tapped her back. “Down, Mariah, lie down!”

It took him a while, but then she lay down, her ears pinned forward as if awaiting his praise.

“Good girl!” He crouched next to her and patted her head, rubbed her throat latch. “Good girl!”

Lilyah beamed. “And now jump up and run away from her – see what happens!”

He did as he was told – and Mariah jumped up as well to run after him.

Lilyah let a cry of joy. “Adam, she’s got it! So much faster than I thought! You’ll be her home – you’re her friend already!”

“Her home?”

“Yes!” She stepped to him, placing both hands on his chest. “You’re her friend now and she trusts you. And in a while, with a little more training, she will see you as her home where she is safe. She will always stay close to you, she will run through canon fire when you call her because you are where she will want to be. As I said, this is why the great war mares never let their riders down. Mariah is a great horse, she will never let you down.”

He looked into her shining eyes and felt the warmth in his heart. “And I have to thank you for her…”

“No…” she whispered. “She had to be yours!”

He took her face in both hands and kissed her, and she responded tenderly, her hands gliding under his jacket. He regretted it vividly as she withdrew them again and their kiss ended.

“S’getting warm…” He shirked one shoulder, “I shouldn’t have…” He broke off.

“Shouldn’t have what?” she cheekily asked, knowing too well that he was getting warm under his thick, yellow jacket.

“Uhm…” He made round, innocent eyes and pursed his lips. “Nothing… nothing at all…”

She laughed and gave him a hearty kiss. “Two hours have long since passed – you can complain all you want!”

He joined her laugh but it faded as he looked up in the sky. Not only two hours had passed – the sun had climbed up high, it must already be close to high noon. He didn’t bother to check the watch. Time had flown by without him noticing it. Meeting his father certainly wouldn’t get any easier this way…

“Adam? Adam, what is it?”

“Oh…” He flashed her a smile. There was no need for her to worry, and he would not allow her to be drawn into any upcoming confrontations. “I’m just wondering… Now I do have such a fine and fast horse and what am I doing? Walking!”

She chuckled, but her eyes still tried to read his.

He softly brushed over her hair. “Let’s go back to the saddles!”

Their fingers met, and they walked back hand in hand, their horses freely following left and right.
* * *

 

 

23. Ironsides 

“Wait a minute…” Adam halted the mare as the barn of the Ponderosa could already be seen shimmering through the high pines lining the path to the ranch. He turned to Lilyah who pulled up beside him and for one moment he felt regret – a deep regret that he couldn’t just ride on, looking forward to nothing but a good, if belated, breakfast in a peaceful, undisturbed surrounding. She looked tired, and even though her face reflected her joy over their ride together, there was no doubt that she had had far too little sleep last night. What she needed now was a proper meal and then a good rest. What a shame that he could not even guarantee her something as simple as that. Or was he merely complicating things? No… It was always better to be prepared.

“Adam, what’s the matter?”

Aware of her attentive eyes Adam eased his brows that he had been knitting without realizing it. He did not want to start this, when there were no open questions left between their hearts. The two of them could just move on. But there were not only the two of them.

“Regarding your journey with Joe, is there anything that I should know?”

She gave him a puzzled gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Well… maybe something that you and Joe thought nobody else should know.”

“Oh…” Her eyes wandered over the underbrush to the meadow stretching beside the pathway up to the ranch house. “No…”

He arched an eyebrow and pursed his lips as he watched her from the side. A tinge of amusement rose inside of him when she risked an eye and quickly averted her gaze again. Even though she clearly held something from him, it did not bother him. He had learned he could trust her.

Her fingers started playing with a strand of Chai’s mane. “You see… Señor Ortega was extremely fond of Chai and so excited that he could have him cover some of his mares. I practically paid nothing for Mariah… in fact, much less than what she would have been worth…” She broke off, then straightened in her seat, her brow unwillingly furrowing as she gave him a most reproachful look. “You really should know that it’s very impolite to ask the price of a gift!”

Adam almost laughed. Not only was she a lousy liar, she also had spilled all her beans. He placed his hand on hers. “I know, and I’m sorry! I won’t ask any further!” He smiled at the both relieved and grateful look in her eyes. “All I wanted to know was if there probably have been any incidents my father might have found out about by now. I don’t want any surprises from that direction!”

Her face softened as she openly returned his look. “Don’t worry, I cannot think of any!”

“Good!” His hand brushed over her face, his thumb touching the shadows under her eyes. “You look tired.”

A faint smile stole over her face. “In fact, I am… a little nap wouldn’t be bad right now…”

“Then take one after we’ve eaten something!” He hesitated and took a breath. “I’m not sure if I can ask, but… what would you think of… after some rest, of course…” He gathered himself and broke into a slightly sheepish smile. “What would you think of a few days out in nature, some good riding, some hunting and fishing, just you and I? I… need to get out of here for a while… make up my mind about some things…” He interrupted himself. It was out, he had voiced his wish to get away from the ranch for a while, a wish that had been growing stronger and stronger in the past few days. There was no need to burden her with any reasons, or load any of his problems onto her.

Her dark eyes seemed a tad too inquiring for a moment, as if she was pondering about the motives for his suggestion, trying to read more in his eyes than he had said. He was about to shirk, but then a warm smile lightened her features. “Adam, that would be wonderful! Today?”

“Not today – tomorrow! There are a few things I’d have to get done first, and you should take a good day’s rest before we start!” He scanned her face. “Or do you think you’ll need a few days more?”

“No.” She shook her head. “There’s only one thing that I would like beforehand, if possible…”

“Name it!”

“A bath!”

He chuckled. “You’ll get it; I’ll talk to Hop Sing! Lil, you’re sure I’m not asking too much?”

“Adam, no! I’d much rather be on horseback than sitting around in the house! And…” She raised one finger. “… a good long ride will be such a wonderful opportunity for you to get used to Mariah!”

Adam could not help but laugh and his heart felt a lot easier. “Why did I ask, anyway?”
* * *

 

“Hey, Adam – Lilyah!” Little Joe’s voice sounded fresh and frolic, not at all indicating that anything had happened or could be amiss. “How was the ride?”

“Fantastic!” Adam reined in Mariah and took in the rather unusual sight in front of the barn. There sat his youngest brother, surrounded by heaps and heaps of tack, assiduously oiling a harness. Hoss stood aside with a face clearly showing that he still hadn’t recovered from mind-blowing wonderment. It obviously did cost him some effort to rip his eyes from Joe’s sight and bid a friendly greeting to Lilyah and Adam.

“What’s all this about?” Adam scanned over the heaps of leathers. This had to be every piece of tack that could have been unearthed on the whole of the Ponderosa.

“‘T’was about time this got properly done!” Little Joe made a resolute face. “Like I always say, tack has to be oiled and polished on a regular basis, to keep the leathers smooth and in good shape! We used to be far too slack with this!”

Adam’s eyebrows climbed up as he sought Hoss’s look. Joe usually had to be dragged by the scruff to even care for his own tack.

“He volunteered to do it…” Hoss sounded as if he still couldn’t believe it. “And he’d been up before breakfast mucking out the stables! And he pitched the hay…”

“Wonders will never cease and miracles still happen…” Adam smirked, well noticing the hidden relief in Joe’s demeanour. Quite obviously he hadn’t been sure about his oldest brother’s reaction and was eased that there weren’t any hard feelings between them.

“Hey, Hoss!” Joe jumped up. “Let’s help this old man from his horse! You know, his gout has gotten so much worse lately!”

“You’re right, Joe!” Hoss reached up to get a hold of Adam’s arm. “Lemme give you a hand, oldtimer! Careful, careful, easy with them old rusty bones…”

“When was the last time you two half-pints had your hides tanned?” Adam laughed as he dismounted, giving both his brothers a hearty push and dodging the inevitable reaction. The little row ended as quickly as it began when his eyes fell on the house.

“Pa’s inside?”

“Yeah!” Hoss took a breath. “And not quite in his best mood…”

Adam shrugged his shoulder. “Guessed as much.”

“You just play it cool, older brother, and it’ll be half as bad.” Hoss walked around the big mare. “Dadburnit, Adam, that’s a real fine horse, I tell ya! She looks even better now in daylight than she did in the dark!”

“Hey, I told you she’s a great horse, and a good ranch horse, too!” Joe made himself heard. “Why does nobody believe me? And if I would’ve gotten such a horse, I would’ve been gone for a week to check her out!”

A passing grin went across Adam’s face, but it faded fast and he barely paid attention to his brothers. He took the saddle off the mare almost as if in haste and then proceeded to take off Chai’s saddle as well. His eyes avoided Lilyah’s as she tried to read in his face. His little joshing with his brothers had made her chuckle, but now he could read a lot of questions and concern on her small face. It was uncanny how she always seemed to sense what he would have preferred to go unnoticed. He tried a reassuring look. “Lilyah, after grooming Chai, would you care for Mariah?”

“Sure…” She looked up to him, slightly confused.

“I’ve gotta have a word with my father!” He touched her shoulders and for a moment she thought he would kiss her, but he refrained. “I’d prefer to talk with him alone first. I’m sure Hoss will help you with the mare.”

Lilyah silently nodded her head and watched as he took his yellow jacket from his saddle and quickly walked to the house to disappear indoors. She did not like it one bit.

“Dang, what a fine gent older brother has become, leavin’ that little gal standin’ there with two horses!” Hoss shook his head. “I’ll take care of that mare, Miss Lilyah!”

She tried to brush all upcoming worries aside. “Thank you, Hoss – and please, just call me Lilyah. ‘Miss’ sounds so awfully official.”

“Alright, Miss… uhm… Lilyah.” He gave her a friendly smile. “I’d care for the grasshop… err… the beautiful stallion too, but I kinda reckon he wouldn’t really appreciate it.”

“No, he wouldn’t, but it’s alright.” She returned his smile. “I’m used to caring for my horse, it is second nature to me!”

“It sure is!” Joe sat down between his leathers again and grinned at his brother. “Still… we should have a close look at older brother, make sure he behaves himself!”

“Yeah!” Hoss nodded with a smirk and watched Lilyah leading Chai into the barn.
* * *

 

“Adam?” Ben came from behind his desk, his face clouded. “How very considerate of you to show up so early, after we’ve just waited…” He interrupted himself. “Where’s the lady?”

Adam placed hat and jacket on the credenza and unbuckled his gun belt. “She’s caring for the horses.”

“For the horses…?” Ben heaved a deep breath. Now this was not anything like his son to leave the horses to a woman and go into the house first. “Was this her idea or yours?”

Adam slowly traversed the room and stopped at the hearth. “Mine!” He crossed his arms and faced his father. “Pa, I’d suggest we simply put this unfortunate episode behind us and not talk about it any further. It’s done and over with, reproaches and allocation of blame will serve no purpose.”

Ben walked up to his son and stopped short before him. “Do you really expect me to just skip over this… episode as if nothing has happened?”

“Has anything happened?” Adam’s eyes narrowed. “It should by now be clear that your accusations against her were unfounded. She bought a horse in California, Joe helped her – nothing more, nothing less. The purchase was most likely her idea and Joe was the one who knew where to get it and how to get there. A hair-brained endeavour alright, but there’s no doubt they both meant well. I can see no sense in making either of them feel miserable about it now!”

“Oh! You can see no sense…” Ben quipped, provocatively, thrusting his hands to his hips.”And you think you can decide that!” He didn’t give his son a chance to get a word in. “Adam, this whole thing was utterly reckless, careless and irresponsible! Not to speak of the fact that this is no way to act for a decent woman, not in this country and not in my house. She didn’t care one iota about any consequences. Just look what it’s done to you!”

A sharp look from his son made him pause. This was dangerous terrain.

“Son, she’s a guest in this house!” Ben steered away from the all too treacherous ground. “And as long as she stays here on the Ponderosa, she should mind some small rules of courtesy, which includes not disappearing into nowhere for two weeks without telling anyone.”

Adam averted his eyes, biting down the words that threatened to break lose from his inside. “I’ve talked to her and she understands this. And I ask you very kindly to not frighten Lilyah with your hollering when it wouldn’t serve any purpose. She won’t do anything like this again, that much I’ve made sure.”

Ben heaved a deep breath and pressed his lips together. Now they were at exactly the same spot as they’d been before Adam’s abandoned cattle drive. And as glad as he was that Joe wasn’t the least bit interested in that woman and almost had burst out laughing at his father’s cautious questioning, he was equally shattered that it now was back to the uncomfortable prospect that Adam seemed to be serious about her. Couldn’t he just see the vast differences between them, that she simply didn’t fit into his life? Hadn’t he learned anything from his painful experience with the Quaker woman Regina Darien? Ben met Adam’s eyes and realized that his son was waiting for him to speak, but he barely knew where to start.

“You’re not going to keep this horse?” he finally began, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

Adam sighed. “I’ll keep it.”

“She must have paid $3000 for that animal! I asked Joe how much of the money was left, and while he didn’t want to tell me, from his reaction alone it was clear that she’d spend it all!”

Adam did not flinch, not a muscle moved that would indicate how uneasy he was about the subject. His voice sounded unfazed. “It’s her money, not yours.”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “I have not raised my sons to accept expensive gifts from… ladies!”

Adam’s eyes darkened and before he could control the movement, his hands had gripped his upper arms, a gesture that he was soon aware would reveal his discomfort, and more, would look like he was shielding himself. Of course he was, but he didn’t want it to be seen – not by his father who knew him well enough to read his body language, and who clearly was just looking for a weak spot in his guard. He took a breath between clenched teeth and fought to get the angry flickering out of his eyes, to regain his cool.

“This horse is a matter between Lilyah and me. I accepted the gift – you can make of it whatever you want!”

For a moment Ben was taken aback, angered by being brushed off so brusquely. “Fine! Just fine! But I hope you’ll remember that we’re not tolerating animals on this ranch that cannot earn their keep!”

“The mare will earn her keep, don’t you worry about it!” Adam forced his voice to a calm tone. “It seems to me she’s a good working horse!”

“A $3000 working horse! You must be kidding!” Ben let out a sarcastic laugh. “You just can’t use such a horse for every day work!”

“Pa, what’s eating you?” Adam angrily came around. “It’s not the horse, is it?”

Ben rose in his stand, his chin jutted out. “I just don’t like that she is using the same tricks on you that her father used!”

Adam slowly raised his head, looking his father straight in the eye. “What’s her father got to do with it?”

“He did exactly the same thing!” Ben got angrier and angrier and didn’t even know why. Adam’s apparent uneasiness was gone, his son stood there cold and steady, his arms casually crossed. “He bought expensive gifts to get Valerie’s affection! He thought he could buy her!”

It took a while until Adam answered. “Your insinuation that a woman can buy me is offensive, to say the least,” he said coldly. “But apart from that, Lilyah doesn’t need to buy my affection. I love her already – just in case you didn’t notice!”

“Adam, I didn’t mean it like that…” Ben broke off, trying to cope with what he had just heard. Worst of all was how matter-of-factly Adam had said it. Not as if it was a wonderful revelation, starry-eyed and dreamy, but just as if it were already old news. He desperately searched for words. “You can’t be serious about this woman!”

Adam merely raised his brows. “But I am!”

Ben had started pacing up and down, his hand waving. “Adam… you know I would never meddle into any of my sons’ choices in that particular matter…”

“Maybe you should.” Adam couldn’t help a dry, mirthless grin. “It might be a lot easier to bear than your constant nitpicking and bickering against the lady in question!”

Ben stopped dead in his tracks and flew around, as if he was about to explode. But he caught himself. One look in his son’s face told him that Adam wouldn’t back down, that he would rather crash his head through the wall than give an inch. He decided to ignore the disrespect and toned down his voice, looking for a weak spot in that wall of determination. “Son, she’s different…”

“Yes. That’s one of the things I like about her.”

Ben hesitated. “Her… color might cause problems.”

“Not everywhere in this world.”

Ben stiffened for just one heartbeat before he caught himself. “She’s a Mohammedan…”

“I know.”

“Valerie…”

“Oh, please!” Adam threw up his hands. “With all due respect for that lady and her admittedly sad fate, it’s got nothing to do with Lilyah and me. Apart from that, I do know that mother and daughter had their problems – and this also is of no relevance for the relationship between us. Cherish your memories, but don’t load them on my back!”

Ben opened his mouth and closed it again. He knew he had a lost case, he knew his son well enough to tell that once he had made up his mind, nothing much could shake him.

“You don’t… have proposed to her?”

“No, not yet…” Adam twisted his mouth and shifted his position when he noticed his father’s suddenly very attentive and interested face. He could almost hear his thoughts, the hope springing up that he might not be as sure as he’d said. How could he tell his father that he was just waiting for the right time? For the one moment in which Lilyah would give him the answer without him asking? How could he explain something that even his own mind didn’t really grasp, but more or less followed the lead of his heart? Did he even want to explain anything? Did he have to? As if he’d have to justify anything? Adam felt anger welling up inside again and abruptly turned away. “But I will!”

“Son, I believe you’re making a mistake…”

Adam angrily furrowed his brow. “And if so, it will be my mistake!”

“Son…” Ben broke off as a quiet knock came from the door.

“It’s Lilyah.” Adam gave his father an almost threatening look and went to let her in.

Lilyah felt the cold atmosphere in the room the moment she stepped in. She looked up into Adam’s eyes, saw how they had darkened, saw the tension in his face. Yet another quarrel…

“Miss Lilyah…” Ben politely nodded his head and regarded her appearance. As usual she was clad in her Oriental robes, she apparently did not even try to emulate local women’s fashion. So much for her willingness to adapt to a new country.

“Mister Cartwright…” She returned his nod and tried her best to not show her rising anger. She wasn’t sure if she had succeeded after her gaze met his. Collecting herself, she turned away.

“We better see if we can find Hop Sing and get him to prepare something good for us!” A wry smile played around Adam’s lips as he searched her eye. “I have a feeling that he’s well in earshot, anyway…”

Ben walked to the credenza and picked up his hat and gun belt. “I’d really love to keep you company, but I’ve got important business to tend to! A big ranch like this doesn’t run itself. There’s little time for attending to young ladies!”

An almost imperceptible twitch around Adam’s lips revealed that he got the hint, but he did not react.

“Miss Lilyah…” Ben politely tipped his hat and left the house.
* * *

 

 

24. Broadsides 

Lilyah woke up from a refreshing nap and twisted her mouth as her hand probed her hair, still wet after the washing. She swung her legs out of the bed and glanced over to the window. The sun was already standing low, but it should still be warm enough. For a moment she regretted that American houses did not have extra gardens or yards for women only, to just walk out in a case like this and sit in the sun to have the hair dried. How she had loved to freely recline in her garden at home after a bath, safe and secure in knowing that no male would ever be allowed anywhere near it. A small smile played around her lips. There were worse things in life than not having a women’s recluse. And yes, more important things, too.

She jumped out of bed and started to dress. Adam had liked the colorful garment, she had well noticed his admiring eyes this morning. It had felt so good, and the way he looked at her made her feel so beautiful. Smiling into herself, she walked over to the wardrobe and scanned through her veils. A shimmering golden one caught her attention and she took it out, holding it against her body. It was one of those she rarely wore, since it was so delicate that the risk of damaging it during a ride was too big. But how pretty it was! It had been a gift from her father once, a precious gift for all the golden ornaments and tiny Omani pearls woven into the fragile laced silk. She wrapped it around herself and rushed to the mirror, watching her reflection from all angles, trying to imagine Adam’s look upon seeing her in this. The thought of an affectionate compliment in his hazel eyes warmed her heart.

But then her smile faded as Ben Cartwright entered her mind. His eyes were never friendly upon her, and when he was around, all she wished for was to be invisible – it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to wear this all-too-gorgeous, extraordinary veil in front of him. A deep wrinkle built up over her nose and her lower lip protruded, pouting. Why not? Why should she not wear it? This veil was so much more decent than some of the things American women wore! She still remembered the dresses her mother used to have – so low-necked and with bare shoulders and half-exposed breasts that her father wouldn’t let her leave the house with those, lest no other men could see her. The old imam would have gotten a heart attack upon the sight! And she, Lilyah, shouldn’t wear this very chaste and decent veil? She threw up her head and proudly gazed into the mirror. She was the daughter of Sheikh Rashid Al-Sharieh! She could wear anything she liked!

But then she took a deep breath and let out a little sigh. What use would it be to risk stirring Ben Cartwright’s animosity even further? The only one it would fall back on was Adam. How gloomy he had been after the talk with his father… He had not said anything about it, had done his best to hide it from her, but she had felt his brooding inside. She would have loved to ease his dark thoughts, but he would not share them with her. She ruefully turned to the wardrobe again and put the veil back, opting for a less flashy one. It looked downright plain in direct comparison to the golden one and she felt a pang of regret as she took it with her to the dressing table to sit down and care for her hair.

“Ouch!” She grimaced as the brush got entangled in the thick wet waves. As proud as she was of the rich flood, there were times she could curse it. Especially when she had forgotten to comb it before falling asleep after a bath. Biting her teeth, she fought her way through the tousled mess and admitted to herself that she was a far cry from any womanly elegance right now. She could literally picture her mother’s disapproving look. Only good that Adam could not see her like this!

It took her a couple of more ‘ouches’ until she was finally through combing her hair, reaching out for the veil. Her small face made an unhappy scowl into the mirror. The golden one would have been so much nicer! Even worse, the rose-colored silk took on the wetness of her hair and got dark, damp spots. Annoyed, she pulled it off and went to the wardrobe again to look for another one, finally settling for a piece of delicate dark lace. More or less satisfied, she fastened it with a pair of golden combs and checked her appearance in the mirror again. Was Adam already back by now? He had told her he’d have only some small business to tend to and would be back soon. Hopefully everything went well for him and he would be in a lighter mood.

She hastily arranged the trinkets dangling from the combs. Maybe he was already waiting and just didn’t knock thinking she was asleep. She put on her boots and left the room.
* * *

 

Lilyah could barely hide her disappointment as she came down the staircase and realized that Adam wasn’t there. The great room seemed empty, the enormous hearth cold and the lamps not lit. For a moment she halted her step, unsure what to do. Maybe he was outside?

“Miss Lilyah…” Ben rose from his chair. “I hope you had a good rest.”

“Oh, yes, Mr. Cartwright, thank you…” She quickly hid her start when she hadn’t noticed him sitting behind his desk. Covering the rest of the stairs she stopped at the bottom. “Has Adam returned?”

“I haven’t seen him.” Ben slowly came towards her. He saw that she did not have her hair bound back in her usual loose style, but had it hung open over her back and shoulders, scarcely covered by a laced veil. It looked darker, almost black, and he realized it was damp. “Do you know where he went?”

“No, I don’t. He only said he has some business to do.” She pulled the veil closer around her, wanting nothing more than to get away. “I think I’ll have to look after Chai.”

“You shouldn’t go outside with your wet hair, you might catch a cold.” Ben pointed to the hearth. “I’ll ask Hop Sing to light a fire, so you can dry it much faster.”

She looked up to him. “That’s very kind of you, Mister Cartwright, but it’s a fairly warm day and the sun is still strong enough. I always let my hair dry in the sun.”

“Certainly. But don’t you forget that the climate here in Nevada territory is much harsher than what you are used to in Southern Morocco.” His deep voice got a tad more serious. “It’s a vastly different country!”

“I know…” She did not get to ponder his last words when the sound of hooves was heard from the yard. Her eyes lit up. “It’s Adam!”

Ben wrinkled his brow. “How could you know?”

“I recognize Mariah’s stride.” She noticed the question in his face and elaborated. “He rode in in a trot, and no other horse on this ranch has such a long stride. Except for Chai, of course… please excuse me!”

“Mariah’s stride…” Ben shook his head as he slowly followed her to the door.
* * *

 

Lilyah’s brow slightly furrowed as she stepped out on the yard and saw Adam loosening the girth of his saddle. He seemed tense, almost as if he was on the verge of a fight, but the moment he saw her his expression changed. Yet as much as she loved the warm affection lightening his face, she couldn’t help the notion that he was hiding something from her and she wasn’t sure if she liked it.

“So beautiful!” He gently touched her hair flowing over her shoulder. “You should wear it like this more often!”

His compliment made her smile. “It would awfully get in the way while riding; I wouldn’t be able to see anything…”

He smirked. “Oh, you won’t have to. I’ll take the lead rein!”

She laughed and was just about to ask him if his business had gone well when his demeanour changed as suddenly as before, back to subdued tautness. She didn’t even have to look to know that Ben Cartwright had come out of the house. Whatever was boiling between father and son, it seemed far from being over. She uncomfortably closed in on Mariah and started patting the mare’s head.

“Where have you been?” The older man stopped and scanned over the big chestnut mare, his face not revealing whether he liked what he saw or not.

“Virginia City.” Adam thrust his saddle across the post without looking at his father.

Ben watched with displeasure. “Isn’t there time enough to put this saddle properly in the barn?”

“I might use it again this evening.” Adam came around and met Lilyah’s eyes. His face softened. “Would you put her in the corral for me?”

“I was about to see Chai on the pasture, I can take her with me.” A small smile stole over her lips. “She will enjoy nibbling some grass.”

Ben stepped closer. “I just told Miss Lilyah that she’d better dry her wet hair in front of the hearth! She might catch a cold walking outside.”

Adam slowly turned to his father – a strangely tight movement that reminded of a panther collecting his powers. “The sun is still very warm, almost stinging. I don’t see a risk of catching cold!”

Ben was just about to answer when Lilyah softly made herself heard. “As I told you, Mr. Cartwright, I’ll have to look after Chai. He’s… used to get his evening loving.”

“Well…” Ben made a vague movement with his hand. “You must know what to do.”

She nodded her head while her eyes rose to Adam again. It was even more apparent now that the tension inside of him kept building up. A part of her did not want to move from his side, as if she could do anything to protect him.

He lightly touched her shoulder. “I’ll come later, I have to talk to my father first. It shouldn’t take long. You stay in the sun, you hear?”

“I will.” She hesitantly took the mare’s reins and walked her across the small path to the pasture. She felt deeply concerned for Adam, yet she could not help a slight trace of consternation mixing in. If he was getting in trouble again because of her, shouldn’t she be a part of it?
* * *

 

Ben watched his son casually walking to the shelf, helping himself to a brandy. Adam’s face was blank, barely showing any expression at all, a sure sign that the upcoming conversation wasn’t going to be an amiable one.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d be obliged to think that you tried to get rid of her…” he remarked.

Adam raised an eyebrow. “That’s what you’d just like, eh?”

“What was that again?” Ben snapped. He half expected his son to say something like ‘Nothing, Pa’, or – what was such a typical habit of him – to exchange his words for some similar sounding, yet less provocative ones. But Adam did nothing like that. He just took a sip from his brandy and stayed mute.

“You want to talk about her?” Ben probed.

“No.” Adam gave him a look from the side. “There’s nothing to say about her anymore. You have your standpoint, I have mine. I think we’ll just have to live with that!”

“It seems so…” Ben reluctantly agreed. He probably shouldn’t have wished so hard for his eldest to regain his sense of rational logic.

“I’ll be gone for a few days, I need some time for myself.” Adam put his glass down on the table. “I plan to take Lilyah on a longer ride through the wilderness, show her some spots that are too far for a day’s tour…”

“So, are we at that again?” Ben’s face had darkened, all the more as his son seemed completely unfazed. As if it would be normal that as soon as the lady was back, his leisure stride that he had shown before could continue. “And what about your work here on the ranch? We have that shared contract with Barney Fuller, I need you riding up north to mark up that timber for cutting.”

“Hoss can do that as well.”

“Hoss can’t do it that well!”

“He can do it much better than you think!” Adam put his thumbs in his back pockets and shifted his weight on his left leg. “You’re underestimating him. He’s got more understanding of that timber than I do, it’s almost like he can talk to those trees.”

Ben angrily drew closer. “Now you listen to me, young man! I still run this ranch, I’m still your father, and as long as you continue to live on the Ponderosa, you’ll do exactly as I say!”

Adam’s eyes narrowed as he fought down the words that literally jumped on his tongue. Words that would be like bullets, impossible to put back in the gun. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to calm down. He felt like he was standing at the edge of a precipice – one more step and there would be no way back.

Ben had started pacing up and down, his arms waving. “Adam, I understand that you want to spend time with that lady, but I will not tolerate it interfering in any way with your duties on the ranch! Besides, you haven’t done much to earn your wages lately!”

“Yah.” Adam’s voice sounded almost indifferent. “I thought you’d be getting to this!”

“So? Did you?” Ben thrust his hands to his hips, his look glowering.

Adam fingered a slip of paper from his pocket and placed it on the table. “I’ve been to the bank in Virginia City today. I’ve arranged that the last two months’ wages you’ve paid me will be transferred back to your account.” His voice took on a sharper edge as he regarded his father from slit eyes. “That should compensate you for all the time I’ve wasted riding around with that circus attraction of mine!”

Ben pulled back as if he had gotten a slap in his face. He should have known his thoughtless remark would be coming back on him – Adam had a long memory. But more unsettling than that were the implications of this gesture. He never would have thought his eldest would go that far, and he didn’t know how ro react to it. He felt like he had gotten a serious blow and he was caught completely off guard.

Adam did not give him the time to come up with an answer. “I want you to take the rest to cover room and board for both Lilyah and her horse. Oh, and here…” He pulled a small black bag from his pocket and poured its content into his cupped hand, producing it to his father. “Just so you can rest assured that none of your sons is going to accept expensive gifts from any ladies!”

Ben heaved a deep breath. There was no need asking where this glittering golden collar came from, the Oriental style was telling enough. There also was no question where Adam had gotten the money from. He was a shrewd businessman and had more than one profitable investment running in Virginia City. Still, it must have ripped a sizable hole in his assets. The slip of paper on the table burnt in his eyes and he wanted to tell his son to take it back, but he didn’t know how, and he feared to touch the subject at all. He watched as Adam put the collar back in its bag and in his pocket again.

“What are you up to, son?”

“Nothing in particular.” Adam leaned on the back of the blue armchair. “As I said, I need a few days off, to do some thinking and make up my mind about things.”

“What things?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

Ben slowly nodded his head and admitted to himself that it probably wasn’t wise to press any further. He helped himself to a brandy and tried to cope with the aggravating feeling that he was just walking on a tightrope. While closing the brandy bottle again he shortly glanced at his oldest, standing there so cold, so unfazed, arms crossed and face blank. Stubborn, thickheaded, obstinate wolf pup! He only wished Adam were ten years younger, so he could give him a serious talking-to to get all those weird, stupid, rebellious notions out of his stubborn head! Ben knitted his brow, looking into his glass… ten years? Fifteen would be more like it… twenty even… twenty?Twenty??

He turned around and swirled the brandy in his glass, trying to not show any insecurity. However, when it came to poker faces, Adam was certainly ahead of him. “But… you’re taking the lady with you?”

“Yes, I’m taking her with me!”

“Ah…” Ben nodded. All kinds of remarks shot through his head. It wasn’t appropriate to spend days out in nature with a lady alone. Not to think of how she just had done the same with Joe – innocent as it might have been, the fact remained that they had freely roamed the landscape day and night, with no chaperone or any other person nearby. And he had been worried the young women in Virginia City would not be sophisticated enough for his oldest! While he fell for an outlandish libertine that had no decent ladylike decorum whatsoever! A woman turning him upside down and inside out! A woman that was likely to lure him away from his home, from his life and his future, driving a wedge between him and his family.

But Ben swallowed it all down. “When do you plan to ride?”

“Early tomorrow.” Adam made a few steps in the direction of the door. “You’ll excuse me, I’ll have to look for Lilyah.”

“Oh, uhm… yes…” Ben nodded and watched his son quickly leaving the house. As the door closed behind him, Ben sank into his red armchair and silently looked into his glass to not see the slip of paper that still lay on the table.
* * *

 

Adam’s blank expression fell off him like a mask as he stepped out in the yard. For a moment he closed his eyes and pressed his lips together, before he slowly put on his hat. For the tiniest fraction of a heartbeat his lower lip seemed to tremble as he drew a deep breath and turned to the path leading down to the pasture.
* * *

 

 

25. The Sniper 

Adam halted his step, his strained features softening as he took in the sight in front of him. There was Lilyah, standing in the middle of the spacious pasture, the big chestnut mare grazing at her side, while her black stallion was proudly prancing along in wide circles around her, showing off his most impressive trot. It was a beautiful picture, set against the dark pines framing the pasture, and it seemed to him as if she would just melt into this scenery as naturally as anything could get.

A loud whinny depicted that he was spotted and he stopped as the black horse shot up to him to give him a friendly greeting.

“Hey, big boy!” He affectionately rubbed the dished black head as the stallion nuzzled over his neck and shoulder. “Looks like you’re having a great time basking in the adoration of those lovely ladies!”

Chai snorted in reply and pulled back, galloping back to his mistress, nickering as if informing her that he had just discovered Adam.

Adam slowly followed and smiled as he saw Lilyah coming towards him. She had put the veil back on her shoulders and wore her hair freely hanging over it. As a rather unusual decor she carried Mariah’s bridle and reins over her shoulder like an old cowboy. It looked so funny against the precious silk, brocade and lace of her dress and veil, and so sweet at the same time.

But his smile faded. For a short but painful moment her beautiful little figure seemed to become unreal, surreal like a glimpse from a dream that had no place in the narrow confinements of his life’s reality. Was he reaching for the stars? Had he any right to reach out for anything like this, at the cost of his duties? He felt his father’s words burning inside of him, and even harder was the thought that he was not up to his father’s expectations. Adam drew a deep breath and shook his head. He really had to get out of here for a while, to clear his head, to order his thoughts and make up his mind about what he really wanted in life. Yet a nagging voice inside kept asking if he even had a right to that.

“Adam?” Lilyah had reached him and questioningly looked up to his face. “Everything alright?”

“Sure…” He tried to restore his smile, very aware of her all too inquiring eyes. “Don’t you bother your pretty little head.”

A nearly imperceptible shade passed her brow. He almost sounded like her father now, when the proud sheikh had thought that something was too big or too difficult for his little girl to deal with. It had taken her a long while and a lot of smashed dishes until he had finally learned that his pampered baby daughter had grown up, somewhere along the way without him noticing. Always a hard thing for an Arab man to digest – and it seemed American men weren’t that much different. But then she felt Adam’s inner pain and her slight consternation left her as quickly as it had appeared. She really didn’t want to make anything harder for him, on the contrary. Whatever his trouble was, she’d just wish she could chase it away.

“Has your hair dried?” He softly touched it, almost as if he suddenly was afraid he might not be allowed to do so.

“Nearly!” She sensed his hesitation, his distress, and placed a hand on his arm. “What would you think of a ride? Some wind in my hair will take good care of the rest!”

His eyes lit up and he quickly looked at the sun. It was already standing low in the west, but it might take a good hour for it to finally set. And a ride might be just what he needed now. Enjoy a full gallop and just breathe…

“I knew I would be using the saddle again!” His smile returned as he took the bridle from her shoulder and called for Mariah who readily came up to him.

Lilyah watched him bridling the mare and felt his confidence returning. For the shortest moment he had appeared like a lost little boy, now his usual calm strength was gradually coming back. Whatever was hurting him, he had stored it deep inside himself, quite obviously not willing to let it out for anyone to see. Maybe it was important for him so he would not feel vulnerable. She wasn’t sure whether she should be happy for him to have managed to restore his shields or if she should be disappointed that he would not share his sorrows with her.

As he turned to her again, he became aware of her all-too attentive eyes and for a heartbeat he felt disquieted, as if there suddenly was another expectation resting upon him that he was unable to fulfill. But then a fine smile grew on her lips and she reached out for his arm that he readily offered her. Covering her hand with his, he walked her back to the yard, with Chai running ahead and Mariah following.
* * *

 

Lilyah felt slightly bewildered as she followed the silent rider in front of her. Adam seemed to have enjoyed a short gallop through the open land, but long before the horses had enough he had swayed and ridden up in direction of the hills. Now they slowly trotted across a winding path between giant boulders and large trees, framed by thick underbrush, no space to run the horses, in fact it was even safer to slow down the trot to a walk. Mariah nonchalantly moved along, Chai on the other hand danced about impatiently. For the fiery stallion the short gallop had merely been an appetizer and he would have vastly preferred had they continued to storm over the plains.

Adam reined in the mare as the path opened into a meadow. The small cabin crouching into the bushes looked even more decrepit than the last time he had seen it, withal it felt as if it had just been yesterday. The wooden shingles on the crooked barn still seemed to wait for busy hands to set them straight, even the old broken wagon was still standing in front of it, as if waiting to be repaired and used again, yet knowing it would never happen. There was a tinge of sadness to the scene, and it almost was as if he could still hear the sound of the guitar, mourning a life that wasn’t allowed to be.

He turned his head as Lilyah pulled up beside him and he could see the questions in her small face. Questions he could not even answer. Why had he brought her to this place? It was clear from the onset that this was not what he would have in mind to settle down. Even though it was the only piece of land that was actually his, and not his father’s. Legally his ever since he had paid the taxes for it and its original owner had died. But no… whatever he was going to build for Lilyah, it would need to be bordered by pastures – big, wide pastures.

Adam bit his lower lip and nudged the mare into motion, thankful that Lilyah just silently followed. He slowly rode past the cabin to the outer skirt of the meadow and stopped when the two wooden crosses came in sight. He dismounted and looked up to Lilyah who halted Chai next to him. She still did not ask but slid from her stallion’s back right into his arms.

“Was a friend of mine…” He vaguely pointed to the first cross. “His name was Ed Payson.”

Lilyah followed him the few steps to the grave and watched as he crouched beside it to remove some weeds from the scarcely perceptible hill in the dry grass, more of a symbolic gesture than actually having any effect at all. Had it not been for the simple wooden cross, the grave could have been barely made out.

“Some people wouldn’t understand it…” he continued, still crouching, but his hands resting. “That I call him a friend, that is… after all, I only knew him for a couple of days. But still…” He broke off.

Lilyah would have loved to see his face, but all she saw was his hat and his broad back. Her voice was very low. “My father once said that at times, you only have to look into a man’s face once to know that you have found a friend for life.”

“Yah.” He got up and straightened out, turning around to her. “Come, let us sit over there!” He placed his hand on her shoulder and led her to a large trunk of a tree that might have been laying in the grass for years. It was roofed by the branches of a huge crooked oak towering behind it, but the sun was standing so low in the meanwhile that her rays touched it from the side.

“He’s got a story?” she finally asked, after they had been sitting side by side silently for quite a while.

“Yah…” Adam gave her a short look from the side, as if he had just been waiting for her to ask. “He’s got a story…” He picked a blade of the long grass and turned it around between his fingers, before he absent-mindedly started chewing on it.

Lilyah waited patiently, looking at his hands. She loved his hands, beautiful, masculine hands, both so sensitive and so strong, and she felt the desire to take them in hers, caressing them. She clasped her own hands together to keep them from reaching over.

“He rode into town about three years ago…” Adam finally started. “His father had left him the place here, and he wanted to settle down on it, leave his old life behind. It should’ve all gone well, he even found a girl, he had it all in his hands. But they just didn’t let him.”

She listened, silently.

“He had a reputation of a gunslinger.” Adam’s eyes seemed to be lost in the past. “Not the really big kind, but one of the young men who he’d got into a fight with was the son of Will Cass, shop-owner in Virginia City. Ed was faster, the young man lost. That was about ten years before he returned, but Cass was still full of hate. And he set out to destroy Ed Payson, he riled up a stupid kid, Billy Buckley, to do the dirty work for him. The kid goaded Ed into a gun fight he never wanted. Ed was faster, easily, but he didn’t shoot. He just waited for the kid to shoot first. It was suicide, and I stood by.”

Lilyah shifted in her seat, her hand rose to shyly touch his arm. A faint smile played around Adam’s lips as he laid his hand on hers, softly caressing her fingers.

“I still ask myself if I shouldn’t have done anything different, but I guess I had no choice in the matter. Ed had made up his mind and you don’t get in a man’s way once he’s made a decision.” He knitted his brows, as if doubting his own words, his face took a painful expression. “But then, Ed had no choice, either. The sad moral of a sad story – once a man is pressed in a mold, he’s got no chance to get out of it. His surroundings just won’t let him. He’s a man condemned.”

Lilyah shook her head. “Adam, that’s not true! A man has always a choice! He could have shot first…”

“He didn’t want to kill – that was all he was about, to leave this kind of life behind once and forever.”

“He wouldn’t have had to kill. He could have shot the kid in the shoulder, or the hand. That would have put an end to the gun fight. The shop-owner might have sent another one, and he might have done the same again.” She softly touched his hand. “Adam, your friend just gave up! And he shouldn’t have done that!”

Adam rubbed his nose as he watched her from the side. “You’re a wise young lady!”

A little smile stole over her face and she finally gave in to her wish to caress his hand with her fingertips.

Adam silently enjoyed the tenderness before he raised his hands to cup her face, searching her lips for a long, loving kiss. “Thanks…” he murmured, barely taking his lips from her skin.

Lilyah momentarily wrinkled her forehead pondering his word, but when his lips pressed on hers again she closed her arms around him and forgot the world.
* * *

 

Adam felt a lot lighter as they cantered down the way to the ranch, almost as if he had left all his doubts and sorrows at Ed Payson’s place. Now he was wholeheartedly looking forward to their trip tomorrow, and his mind was already planning what they would take along and what not.

“Adam, wait!”

He reined in Mariah and turned around as the clip-clop of Chai’s hooves fell back. Lilyah had halted the stallion and was busy sorting her hair with both hands. A big smile spread over Adam’s face as he rode back. They had left the Ponderosa in quite a hurry before, scarcely taken the time to saddle their horses, and Lilyah hadn’t had the chance to get to her room to properly do her hair. She had simply wound it around the flimsy veil and trusted in those two little combs left and right to hold the full splendour of her long flowing waves in place. Apparently the little things were hopelessly overcharged with such an enormous task.

“My offer regarding the lead rein’s still standing!” He stopped Mariah and chuckled at the image in front of him. What made it even funnier was that Chai just tossed his head, shaking his voluminous mane and getting his thick long forelock out of his face. In a sense it was quite amazing that either of them could see a thing.

Lilyah gave him an admonishing look and did not answer.

Adam’s grin grew broader and broader as he comfortably leaned back in the saddle, one hand on the mare’s backend. “I’d call that a hairy mess!”

Lilyah let her hands sink and thrust them to her hips. “You’re not particularly uplifting, Sir!!”

Adam laughed and enjoyed the sight as she raised her arms again to wind her hair into loose braids in order to keep it on her back.

He felt the hot stinging of the bullet scratching over his shoulder even before he heard the shot.

“Lilyah, DOWN!”

Tearing his rifle from its scabbard, he threw the mare forward and knew in an instant that he had just escaped a second bullet. But he had only eyes for Lilyah who was still in the saddle, with Chai bucking backwards against the thick bushes lining the way. Within a heartbeat he was at her side and grabbed her around the waist, throwing himself off his horse and dragging her with him. Pushing Lilyah in the bushes and chasing the horses away was a matter of a split moment. A third shot bellowed up and he ducked for cover, readying his rifle and blindly firing two rounds in the direction of the unseen sniper.

“Adam, are you alright?”

“I’m alright. Stay down!” Adam slowly moved away from her. He instinctively knew that he was the goal of the ambush, and the farther he was away from her, the safer she would be. Lilyah did not seem to get it; as he moved away, she attempted to follow. “STAY PUT!” Adam’s voice cut as sharp as a knife and she ducked in her cover again.

A fourth shot ripped through the air and he saw the shredding leaves and twigs where the bullet tore into the bushes. It was dangerously close to Lilyah’s spot and he quickly brought a couple of more yards between them before he fired himself. Two rounds again, more to let the sniper know where he was than actually hoping to hit anything.

The answer was immediate and Adam crouched as two shots were fired almost in a staccato, clearly aimed at him now. One of the bullets hit a boulder, leaving a whistling sound as it ricocheted into the underbrush. Adam creased his forehead as he recalled the whistling sound, estimating its velocity and intensity in his mind. Two more shots bellowed up, like angry barks, aggressively ripping into the underbrush left and right of him. It seemed like the bushwacker was hoping for a lucky hit.

Adam cautiously cowered behind a boulder and scrutinized the area before him from narrowed eyes. The way leading up to the ranch wound himself through a versatile area, densely grown with thick shrubs and underbrush, littered with large rocks and boulders, groups of high pines and broad deciduous trees all over the place. The sniper was quite obviously hiding between the rocks of the hillside a good 350 yards apart, set off from the area by steep cliffs – a perfect place from which he could oversee a large chunk of the way and almost impossible to reach. Adam squinted as he scanned over those rocks, waiting for a treacherous movement between them that would give the shot away. He pulled in his head as three more rounds were fired, but he still saw the shimmering of metal flashing up between the rocks. He took aim and returned the fire, albeit knowing that the chance to smoke the sniper out of his cover was close to zero.

The sound of riders approaching fast came to his ear and then a pair of other rifles bellowed up.

“Adam, you’re alright?” It was Joe’s voice.

“I’m fine!” Adam got up as he heard the distant sound of hoofbeats, indicating that the unknown sniper preferred to beat a retreat.

“I’ll get him!” Joe yelled, kicking his pinto in the sides before anyone could act. It would take him far too long to round the cliffs between there and the hillside, chances were that the sniper would be long gone before the youngest Cartwright ever got anywhere near that place. Nevertheless, he raced his pinto down the way as if the devil were after him.

“JOE!” Adam knew it didn’t make much sense – his youngest brother was all riled up and on the war path.

“Ain’t no use, Adam…” Hoss halted his horse, a lively mixture of anger, amusement and relief on his face. “He ain’t gonna stop before he sees for himself it ain’t got no sense!”

“I better go after him.” Adam turned around and looked at Lilyah who had come out from her cover. “Are you alright?”

“I am – but you’re wounded…”

“No.” He shook his head. “I just have a good shirt ruined! Hoss, would you catch my horse…”

Lilyah put a hand on his arm. “Adam, just call her!”

Adam gave her a skeptical look before he decided to give it a try. “Mariah!”

A nicker was the answer and the big chestnut mare immediately came trotting up to him. Adam raised an eyebrow in surprise but he did not lose any time.

“Hoss, you’ll stay with Lilyah!” He mounted the mare and raced after his kid brother.
* * *

 

26. Strays 

“It was Hatfield!” Ben’s deep sonorous voice swelled with ire. “I know it was him!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about it…” Adam leaned against the stones of the hearth and watched his father marching back and forth across the great room as if he were paid by the mile. Lilyah was sitting at the edge of the blue armchair, very straight, her small hands in her lap, and he could feel that she was both concerned and uncomfortable. His brothers lounged on the settee. Hop Sing was busy around the dinner table, taking great time arranging the silverware on the laid table.

“Who else could it have been?” Ben snapped around to Little Joe. “And there were no traces?”

“No, Sir.” Joe felt almost as uncomfortable as Lilyah. “It’s hard rocky ground up there, there was nothing to be found. It was getting dark, so we decided to ride back…” His eyes quickly glanced over to his oldest brother. It had been Adam who had kept him from storming blindly into the landscape, reminding him that the beginning darkness would render all searching utterly useless. Joe himself had taken a considerable time to come to the same conclusion; and he felt a bit foolish now. He was glad that Adam did not breathe a word about it. “We didn’t even find any shells…”

“He gathered them before he disappeared!” Ben’s face was dark with rage. “Hatfield knows that I’m coming for his scalp! Of course he’s trying to hide his tracks! And I bet he’s already trying to find ways to talk himself out of it! But not with me!!”

Adam shifted his weight to the other leg. “I don’t think it was Hatfield.”

Ben stopped his march and looked at his eldest. “He threatened you, didn’t he? Frank Miller told us how he vowed to get you, because he thinks you brought the Cattlemen’s Association up against him!”

Adam raised his brows in a slightly mocking manner. “Frank Miller’s always been very quick in jumping at conclusions.”

Ben’s face grew even darker. “Frank Miller has grown into a fine young man, and he was eager to defend you when you were not there to put Hatfield in his place! Besides, who else would have a reason to shoot at you? And it was a planned ambush, wasn’t it?” He looked from Hoss to Joe as if seeking affirmation. He could not for the life of him understand how Adam could stand there so detached.

“Pa’s right, Adam, it was planned!” Joe nodded his head. “He must have been waiting at that particular spot for you to come along – it’s a perfect place for an ambush!”

“Yes!” Ben balled one of his hands to a fist. “But this time he’s gone too far!”

Adam drew a deep breath and noticed incidentally that Hop Sing was still arranging the silverware, meticulously and deliberately. Quite obviously the cook did not want to miss anything.

“You’re jumping to conclusions here,” he said slowly. “But, you don’t consider any facts!”

“FACTS??” Ben flew around, his eyes shooting flashes. “What more FACTS do I need? He shot at MY SON! That’s fact enough for me!”

“That’s merely a presumption!” Adam pursed his lips, curtly pondering the irony of his father holding ‘his son’ against him – as if ‘his son’ had nothing to do with the actual person standing in front of him. A classic case of ideal versus reality perhaps? And how long had he striven to live up to that ideal? Pulling himself back to the matter at hand he continued, “But look at the facts, as far as we have them! Hatfield owns an old Sharps rifle! I’ve seen him several times carrying it along. The rifle used by the sniper wasn’t a Sharps!”

“How could you possibly tell?” Ben regarded him with knitted brows. “You didn’t see anything!”

“No, but I’ve heard it. It didn’t sound like a Sharps to me, rather like a Henry! And I don’t think Hatfield owns a Henry!”

Ben shortly contemplated the words but then brushed them off. “It’s close to impossible to tell rifles by their sound! Also, the echo in the hills would alter the sound of a shot.”

“The sound of the shots is just one aspect.” Adam’s baritone sounded very calm. “I further observed the velocity of the bullets…”

“The what?” Hoss made a clueless face.

“The speed!” Adam explained. “As I observed…”

Ben gave a snort. “You watched the speed of the bullets flying through the air??”

Adam almost sighed. “I heard the sound of a bullet ricocheting from a rock! Judging from that sound, the bullet had already lost a great deal of its velocity. A Henry repeater has a theoretical range of approximately 500 yards, its actual effective shooting range, however, is far less than that. You have to be a good shot to hit anything beyond 200 yards, especially when you’d have to aim real high to get the bullet over that distance. The sniper was about 350 yards away, and he missed me with his first shot even though I was not moving. I had halted my horse, I made a perfect sitting duck.”

“Hmm…” Hoss scratched his head and exchanged a look with Joe who scratched his chin. Ben stood there with a scowl and Adam knew by one look that his father was not ready to drop his righteous, holy fury for some boring analytical thinking. Lilyah sat silently, and Hop Sing was still arranging the silverware.

“Lastly,” Adam went on, in an almost tired voice, “the sniper fired eleven rounds, some of them in rapid sequence. That also points to a Henry repeater that carries 15 rounds, as opposed to a Sharps that has to be reloaded after each shot.”

“Some people are exceptionally fast with reloading! They can fire ten shots in a minute!” Ben had jutted out his chin, visibly chewing at Adam’s arguments. For a moment he reminded of a stork trying to gulp down a too large frog. Clenching his fists, he started his march across the room again. “But alright! Alright! It might as well have been a Henry repeater! Tell me one good reason why Hatfield couldn’t have used a Henry!”

Adam gave him an exasperated look. “Pa, use your brain!”

Ben seemed to grow out of his clothes, his eyes glowering. “You mind your manners, young man!”

“Sorry.” A passing twitch played around Adam’s lips. “He wouldn’t have used a Henry because he has a Sharps!”

“Now that sounds logical!” Ben scoffed sarcastically.

“It is logical!” Adam drew a breath, but didn’t lose his calm. “We’ve established that the sniper was 350 yards away and used a Henry that has a range of 500 yards, effectively much less, which made aiming at that distance difficult.” He ignored his brothers’ befuddled faces. “A Sharps has a range of 1000 yards and a penetration force that can still kill a buffalo at 700 yards – it’s easy to aim for a good shot at 350 yards. Now, if Hatfield had planned to lie in wait in that particular spot, waiting for me to ride along in a distance of 350 yards – which rifle would you think he’d chosen?”

Ben stood still, knitting his brow, searching for an answer.

“Maybe he’d lost the Sharps and got the Henry instead…” Little Joe shrugged his shoulders.

“Not very likely.” Adam shook his head. “As said, I don’t believe he has a Henry – he’s a poor man, he doesn’t even have the money to buy himself a drink in the saloon or get some decent clothes, let alone a fancy new rifle.”

“He could’ve stolen it!” Ben’s voice was still heavy with anger. “He’s proven more than once to be a man who deems himself above the law!”

Adam audibly sighed and twisted his mouth as he saw his father’s piqued look. He was getting so tired of it. He looked down at Lilyah who sat so still, looking into the fire of the hearth. How he would love to put a hand on her shoulder, just to assure her that he was there. If only it were already tomorrow…

“Adam…” Hoss’s face was strained by all the thinking. “You done told me that Hatfield fellow ain’t the brightest candle in the window. Maybe he don’t know nothing about all that range and vellicitis stuff!”

“Velocity.” Adam corrected. “And it doesn’t require deep thinking – once you’re used to a rifle, you just know how it shoots. And if you get another one, you’ll immediately notice the difference. It’s a gut feeling, not a big thought process.”

“Yeah…” Hoss weighed his head. “Yeah, you’re right!”

“Well…” Ben’s features still carried a frown, and it was very visible that he was anything but satisfied. In his mind, it just had to have been Hatfield! Who else would have a reason to shoot at his son? “We’ll hear what the sheriff has to say about this matter! We’ll ride into town tomorrow after breakfast!”

Adam drew a breath between his teeth. “I won’t.”

“What?” Ben thought he had not heard right.

Adam crossed his arms and returned his father’s glare. “My plans haven’t changed. Lilyah and I will be heading for the mountains tomorrow before sunup!”

“You can’t be serious!” Ben covered the few steps to his son and built himself up like an iron tower. “You can’t leave the Ponderosa now! You’ve been shot at!!”

Adam cocked his head. “What d’you expect me to do? Hide under the bed?”

Ben was in no mood for jokes, his face turned into a fist as he waved his forefinger at his son. “You’re not going anywhere, son, your little trip is off the table! You stay right here where I can keep an eye on you!”

Adam pursed his lips and slowly put his thumbs in his back pockets as he regarded his father from narrowed eyes. “Want to lock me up again?” His voice sounded almost mockingly, very low, and yet threatening. His brothers exchanged an uncomfortable look.

Ben noisily drew in the air. “You listen to me, boy…”

“Besides…” Adam raised his voice and effectively cut him off. “I consider it much smarter to leave the Ponderosa instead of staying put and play the sitting duck for an unknown sniper!”

“He’s got a point there, Pa!” Hoss made himself heard. “If he stays, that sniper’ll always know where he is! All he’ll have to do is lurk around and wait for Adam to take a ride!” He nudged his younger brother in the side.

“Oh yes!” Little Joe promptly reacted and refrained from rubbing the hurting spot. “He could lurk everywhere around here and would always know which way Adam would be taking!”

Ben angrily looked from one to another. He felt like his sons were building a front against him, and this did nothing to soften his gall. What was wrong with these boys? They should all be looking forward to being in the saddle next morning to put Hatfield in his place – the four Cartwrights together, as it used to be! Instead, Adam indulged in some questionable nonsense spun from his dreaded education and his younger brothers meekly followed suit.

“And what is your standpoint in this matter?” He abruptly turned to Lilyah who flinched as she suddenly found herself the center of attention.

“Leave her out of this!” For the first time Adam’s voice revealed anger.

“Oh no, I would like to hear her opinion!”

Lilyah stiffened and avoided the older man’s gaze. At first thought she did not like the idea that Adam would leave the Ponderosa now, the place where he had the protection of his family. But then… she regarded his dark, still figure from the corner of her eye. He seemed calm, but the tension inside of him was evident. She had noticed before that he had barely looked his father in the eye, all throughout his explanations he had looked in a completely different direction, almost bored, as if he wasn’t part of any conversation and just said what had to be said, with no cares as to how it would be received. It was this demeanour more than his words that stirred up his father’s anger. But Adam wasn’t a man who would shun eye contact, he wasn’t a man who would not care. Something inside of him was in turmoil, maybe deeply hurt, and he probably needed his time out badly, to give this something a chance to calm down and heal. Lilyah pressed her lips together. She still did not know what had happened while she had been gone. Whatever it was, Adam seemed to have trouble coming to terms with it. She tried to meet his eyes but he was looking in another direction again, watching the cook sorting the silverware. Once again he acted as if he wasn’t there, and she noticed the quick and aggravated look that his father shot at him.

“Well, Miss Lilyah?” Ben’s voice did not sound unfriendly.

She straightened her back. “I think Adam will know best what to do.” She hesitated, searching for words. “He might be right to leave for the mountains. My father always said: If your enemy knows your routines, you better change them.”

“Your father…” Ben did not even try to hide the negativity in his remark, majorly displeased by her words.

“That was uncalled for!” Adam’s voice cut in as sharp as a knife. “You’ve asked a question, now don’t complain that you’ve got an answer!”

An uncomfortable silence fell on the room. Hoss literally squirmed, Joe studied the tips of his boots, Lilyah felt like she wanted to flee from the house. Adam merely raised his eyebrows and looked into the fire of the hearth, as if his father’s glowering stare wasn’t directed at him. His whole posture was the embodiment of the term ‘cold shoulder’. Even worse, a cold shoulder seemingly completely unfazed. For the first time Lilyah realized what a stubborn man Adam really was. With every word his father would say, Adam would simply put another brick on the wall between them, no matter how much it might hurt himself. And behind his cold mask of pretended indifference, no one would even see that he was hurting.

Luckily, Ben seemed to realize that he was getting nowhere, that he just had no chance to crack this armor of hard shields.

“Well… I certainly didn’t mean any offense.” Ben cleared his throat. “Dinner’s long ready, I’d say we better eat now!”

“That’s a word!” Joe immediately jumped on his feet, Hoss rose almost simultaneously, rubbing his big hands together. “Amen to that! I’m darn hungry, I could eat a cow!” Both brothers looked more than relieved as they followed their father to the dinner table.

Adam politely walked Lilyah to her seat and scanned over the laid out table, his hazel eyes, still darkened from whatever was hidden so deep inside of him, showed a vague spark of amusement. “The silverware in particular is exquisitely arranged tonight!”

Hop Sing beamed. “Thank you, Mistel A—” His voice broke off as he froze in his splendid bow, his broad beam fell off his face. Wordlessly snapping around, he stomped back into the kitchen.

Lilyah watched the barely perceptible smirk passing over Adam’s lips, so quickly that it almost seemed it had never been there. All her heart wanted to grab for it, get it back, get the amused spark back that she had seen in his eyes. But the minute he sat and started eating, he was as dark and brooding as before, an inaccessible enigma closed unto himself.

The dinner went along awkwardly, with no real conversation coming up. Adam sat there, eating with his elbows on the table, barely lifting his eyes from his plate. Not even Hoss’s praise for the chestnut mare who so willingly had followed his call made him lose his silence, and Hoss’s funny recollection of how they usually needed at least half an hour to collect their horses after chasing them away in case of a shootout didn’t help much to lighten the atmosphere.

Lilyah forced herself to smile and joined Adam in his silence. A part of her felt sorry for his father who just wanted his son to stay home, understandably so, now that he knew someone wanted to harm him. Another part was still pondering about what Adam might have meant with his ‘Want to lock me up again…’. Whatever had happened, it obviously had crossed a line with him that shouldn’t have been crossed. And one look at Adam’s introverted face convinced her that her intuition was right. Something inside of him needed calm and peace to heal.
* * *

 

“Hey, big girl!” Adam smiled as the beautiful chestnut mare trotted up to him. He had followed Lilyah’s example and left the mare out on the pasture overnight. Patting her noble head, he closed his eyes and took in a deep draw of the fresh, crisp morning air. If he had had any doubts about the wisdom of his decision, they faded away in the smell of the pines, carrying the scent of the free, wild mountains that barely could be made out in the twilight of the beginning day. He could not wait to get in the saddle and ride out.

“But first I’ll get you some fine oats, eh?” A sly grin played around his lips as he heard a neigh and saw Lilyah’s black stallion galloping towards him. “Now look at him! Seems like he heard something about oats!”

He opened the gate to let both horses out. “Your lady has returned to her room, guess she wants to change her wrap.” He gave Chai a slap on the shoulder and did not mind that he galloped onto the yard, looking out for his mistress. The sun had not risen yet, his family was still sound asleep. No one there to complain about the stallion romping free and he and Lilyah would be gone before anyone else would be up.

“Come on, girl!” He was quite delighted that the mare had not run after the stallion, but had stayed close to her new master and now sweetly followed him onto the yard. Lilyah’s Arab horse discipline seemed to be working – at least for the mare. He stopped halfway to the barn. “Now let’s see if you still remember yesterday’s lessons! Lie down! Lie down, Mariah!”

The mare willingly lay down, her big eyes fixed upon him.

“Good girl!” Adam crouched in front of her and heartily rubbed her head. “Now up!”

Mariah scrambled on her hooves, both ears attentively pricked forward and visibly pleased about his praise. She really seemed to enjoy this game and she enjoyed her master’s attention.

“Lie down again!”

The mare lay down and stretched her neck as Adam sat down in front of her, her muzzle lovingly nuzzling over his shoulder.

“Good girl, good g…”

“Adam?”

Adam froze in place, his hand that just wanted to brush the mare’s forelock stopped midair. That was Joe’s voice! What in tarnation was he doing up in this early dawn? Rolling his eyes, Adam turned around and saw both his brothers standing there in front of the house, with their mouths hanging open. Joe obviously had just taken a bite from a sandwich. With a deep sigh Adam got back on his feet. The mare followed suit.

“Adam, you alright?” Hoss had concern written all over his face and eyes round as saucers.

“Yes!” Adam brushed the dust from his pants and threw an exasperated look at Joe. “Close your mouth, little buddy, the food’s falling out!”

Joe hastily gulped down his bite.

“Well, my dear lady Mariah…” Adam pursed his lips and turned to his mare, applying a most sophisticated speech. “Now that we’ve just completed our morning workout, we can go back to the barn and continue with our Greek literature studies!” He executed a formal bow towards the horse. “If it pleases Her Ladyship to follow me!” He nonchalantly walked to the barn, smirking into himself as the mare trailed him on the heels without being led. He did not need to look back to know that his brothers’ jaws were hanging on the ground.

At the barn’s doorway he stopped and turned halfway around. “Chai, would you like to join us?”

The black stallion nickered and trotted up to him. All three disappeared in the barn.

Hoss and Joe stood and stared.

“Pa’s right…” Joe whispered. “He’s losing his mind…”

“Dadburnit…” Hoss grabbed his brother’s sandwich and stuffed it into his mouth.
* * *

 

“Your brothers are up.” Lilyah entered the barn and greeted her stallion who was already bridled and saddled. “I’ve met them in the house, they seemed a bit confused…”

“I know.” Adam looked up from his saddle bags and his eyes lit up when he saw that she had changed into her brown and golden robe. It wasn’t her most stunning and beautiful robe, but he still loved it most. It was the one she had worn on their very first morning together, and she had worn it the day she had first kissed him, on top of the Indian Needle. To him, it was special.

“What’s this?” His attention was captured by the strange item she carried. It looked very much like the sheath of her Arab dagger, only that it was nearly two feet long.

“Oh, this is my sabre!” She fastened the tassle decorated object at her saddle.

“Your what??” Adam came closer. “Let me see!”

“Here!” Lilyah drew a curved Arabian sabre from the sheath, an exquisitely decorated and very sharp weapon. “It was made in Damascus! My father gave it to me – look, there is my name engraved on the handle! The engraving wasn’t made in Damascus, it was later added by a swordmaker in Agadir! The letters are Arabic, of course!” She turned the blade around and pointed to some more engravings. “And this is a quote from the Qur’an to summon Allah’s blessing on the sabre!”

Adam knitted his brows as he gave her a deeply skeptical look. “You can handle this thing?”

“I’m much better with the small one!” She weighed the blade in her hand and Adam noticed that her grip was far from perfect – very far. “But I can handle it well enough to defend myself!”

“Ah, yes…” Adam did not know whether to laugh or cry. He turned around and picked up a solid wooden club. “Alright – attack me!”

“What?” Her dark eyes grew big as she looked at him. “But I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Don’t worry, I know a little bit about fencing. Just attack!” He really had to bite down the laughter now as he saw the helpless look with which she regarded her pompous sword. She reminded him of King Arthur in his tin armor. Of course she was much prettier…

“But, Adam, I could kill you… this is a very sharp blade!”

“And this is very solid wood! Come on!”

“I’m much better at defense…”

“Alright, then I’ll attack and you defend yourself!” Adam raised the club.

She finally assumed a position that obviously was meant to resemble a most dangerous sword fighter, holding the curved blade high up. It actually looked very funny, but Adam cringed inside. She not only held it wrong, she held it up so high that the sharp blade was very close to her face. One vicious blow against it and she would severely injure herself. He wouldn’t even need the club for it.

“Lilyah…” He let the wood fall. “You must never hold your blade so close to your own face!”

“Oh…” She hastily lowered the sabre. “I always forget that.”

“So someone told you before?”

“Yes, my father gave me lessons…” She looked down at her hands. Wasn’t there something about how exactly her fingers had to be? Crinkling her brow, she tried to remember her father’s words.

“But you never really listened,” Adam concluded, a flicker of laughter twitching around his lips.

“Uhm…” She cleared her throat. “Well, I was much better with the small one… really! But he said I could still carry the big one along, and be it just for intimidation purposes!”

“Intimidation purposes?”

“Yes!” She turned around and stored the sabre in its richly decorated sheath that now was dangling from her saddle. “You see, if someone who wishes you harm sees you carrying such a good weapon, he will have to conclude that you can use it – and most likely refrain from an attack! It’s a psychological effect!”

“Ah, yes…” Adam nodded his head. “Just too bad that in the meanwhile some truly bad sport had invented a device called a ‘gun’…”

She deliberately arranged the tassles of her tack and Adam noticed with some amusement that the desired ‘psychological effect’ might suffer some additional drawback, considering that the sheath barely could be seen in all those fringes and tassles.

He stepped closer and rested a hand on the stallion’s backend. “Can you shoot?”

“No… that is, I never tried. My father always said guns are not for women!”

A legion of laughing sparks exploded in Adam’s eyes. So guns were not for women – two feet sabres obviously were! But who could know what reasons the sheikh actually had had for his remark after watching the results of the fencing lessons…

“Out here in the West even women should learn how to shoot.” His fingers softly brushed over her hair. “I can teach you if you’d like!”

“Alright!” She looked up in his face and her heart warmed when she saw the familiar, beloved twinkles in his eyes – his hazel eyes that had already lost much of the dark shadows that had dimmed their lights in the past few days.

“Lil…” He put both hands on her shoulders; his amusement fading from his features. “I hope you know that I would never expose you to any danger! I wouldn’t take you on this ride if I thought it might get hazardous for you. I’d never put you at any risk. So please, trust me that you will always be safe with me!”

“I know, Adam – of course I know!” She softly touched his cheek and closed her eyes as he bowed down to kiss her. She never had worried about her safety – she just wanted to be prepared in case that he got attacked. If anything happened to him, she wouldn’t just stand by and watch!

“Now come on, let’s go!” He breathed a last small kiss on her forehead before they both led their horses out of the barn.
* * *

 

Adam stiffened. He had just helped Lilyah into the saddle as, from the corner of his eye, he saw his father coming out of the house. At this time of the morning, the earliest dawn before the sun had even blinked over the mountains, everybody on the Ponderosa usually was still fast asleep. Now it seemed that his whole family was up on their feet. Adam drew a deep breath and braced himself for another bothersome confrontation with his father. There hadn’t been one last night after dinner, it rather had been icy silence until he and Lilyah had retreated to their rooms, citing their early planned start for a reason.

Ben seemed a bit uncomfortable as he slowly walked over to them, scanning over the horses. “You’re all set?”

“Yah!” Adam answered curtly and noticed his brothers lurking from the doorway.

“Ah!” Ben nodded his head. “Well… I don’t want to hold you up… I just wondered if you might be back by Saturday… because… I thought it would be nice if we’d have a party on Saturday, a kind of belated birthday party…” He looked from one to another. “We didn’t have a party for quite some time now, it might be a nice distraction…”

Adam was caught completely off guard, and for a moment he did not know what to say.

Lilyah had stopped sorting her robes. She wasn’t sure if it was wise to get between father and son right now, but when Adam still didn’t speak, she softly made herself heard. “That sounds very nice, Mr. Cartwright! I’ve never been to an American party before!”

“I’m sure you will like it!” Ben gave her an almost grateful look.

“Yah…” Adam finally moved. “We’ll be back…”

“Good!” Ben smiled. “You take care of yourself!”

“Yah…” Adam mounted his mare and immediately nudged her into a gallop, without a further word, without even waiting for Lilyah who was taken a bit by surprise at his sudden departure. For a moment it seemed as if he wanted to storm out of the yard without looking back, but then he halted the mare at the corner of the barn. “Lil!”

Lilyah cast an apologetic smile in the round and urged Chai into a canter to catch up with him.
* * *

 

 

27. The Glade 

They rode in silence for quite a while, concentrating on the path Adam had chosen. He had left the normal way to climb up a steep hill, crisscross through boulders and groups of pines, seeking the heights from which he could see rather than be seen. The beginning twilight of the day still left most of the ground in darkness, requiring all their attention to look out for rubble, branches and roots along the way. Adam rode fast, still Lilyah noticed that he was quite careful in the beginning, especially at risky ascends, unsure as to what he could ask from his new horse. Mariah took all the climbs with ease, proving both her surefootedness and her courage, and by and by Adam gained confidence and rode harder. It almost felt like he was running from something.

It took about half an hour until he finally stopped, without looking up. Lilyah halted Chai beside him and noticed how uncomfortably he pulled up his shoulders.

“Lilyah, I’m sorry!” He sought her eyes, guilt and regret in his face. “I didn’t mean to be so rude…”

“You weren’t rude!”

“I was! And badly so!” He drew a deep breath and searched for words, but didn’t find any.

Lilyah gave him a shy smile. “It’s always a nuisance to fight with a parent, isn’t it?”

A short, unhappy laugh broke from his chest. “Yah…”

She watched his face from the side, saw the movement of his brows, as if he were pondering whether he should talk about it or not. Apparently, he decided against it, his eyes wandering across the underbrush, his lips pressing together. The silence threatened to become awkward.

“That makes me think of my mother…” she finally began. “And her tea drinking lessons!”

“Tea drinking lessons?” Adam looked up, he seemed downright glad for the distraction.

“Tea drinking lessons!” Lilyah pulled a funny face. “She always thought our Arab way of drinking tea was uncivilized and she was fiercely determined to teach me how a sophisticated young lady has to drink her tea. You must know, there is a vast difference between the Arab way of drinking tea and the American way of drinking tea! Arab people drink their tea to enjoy it – American people drink tea to torture themselves! At least those from Boston…”

“Hear, hear…” A first spark of laughter showed in Adam’s eyes. He had visibly relaxed, one hand on the mare’s crest, the other on his leg. He loved to watch Lilyah talking, her spirited manner to stress her words with both hands, with no care of the reins, and the way her words reflected in her facial expressions, changing her usually so serene features to childlike liveliness.

“Yes!” She nodded her head. “My mother used to insist that we’d have daily tea drinking lessons in her rooms – with all that uncomfortable European furniture, dressed up in uncomfortable European dresses, her precious china imported from England and that lousy English tea! With milk – just to make sure that you really had no chance to enjoy anything! And then she started the nagging, how to hold your cup, what finger had to be in what something o’clock position, pinkie up ‘for balance’ or such nonsense, and the tea spoon in six o’clock position!” She pushed the air through her nose and raised a finger. “But the most important thing was: no noise! Whether you poured in the tea or stirred the tea for the sugar, it had to be absolutely noiseless! No, wait – it was forbidden to stir the tea! You had to wave it – from the six o’clock position to the twelfe o’clock position! Noiseless!”

Adam chuckled, trying to picture these two women who must have been as different as night and day. He had met such over-sophisticated ladies before, particularly in Boston, and he had always found them hard to bear.

“I tried my best, I really did,” Lilyah continued. “But no matter how hard I tried, she always found something to complain about! And it was always the noise! Either the tea pot was put on the table too hard, or the tea spoon clanked against the cup, or the cup against the saucer! And no matter how lightly, she would hear it! And then one day I finally managed to make no noise at all, all the time while wearing one of those terrible dresses that was cutting in everywhere where you’d never thought a dress could cut, squatting on that uncomfortable Chippendale stool, and you know what?” She made big, round eyes. “She heard a noise! Stuck her nose in the air and whined something about the sugar crystals hitting the inside of the cup!”

Adam started grinning. He knew what was coming…

Lilyah reined in Chai who had begun dancing. “I put my cup back on the tray, picked up the tray, with the tea pot and the sugar pot and the milk pot and my cup and saucer, and crashed the whole lumber at her feet! And I said ‘There, mother – NOW you’ve heard a noise!'”

Adam laughed out loud – this was a scene he could vividly picture! His sweet little wild cat! “I bet she never insisted on a tea drinking lesson again.”

“No!” A mischievous smile played around her lips.

Adam chuckled, but the laugh gradually faded from his features. He took a deep breath, getting serious again. “Guess that’s my biggest problem,” he said in a resigned tone. “I’ve never smashed a tea pot in my life!”

“Who knows?” Her voice was very low, very soft. “Maybe you just did…”

He slowly turned his head to her.

“And now everybody is shocked about the noise,” she resumed.

His eyes warmed up as he stretched out his hand to brush over her hair. “I’ve told you before – you’re a wise young lady!” He gently touched her cheek. “Now come on, we’ve got a long way before us! And I want to show you something!”

He nudged the mare into a light canter and, after circling another couple of groups of pines, rode her up a smaller hill. Lilyah stayed at his side and halted Chai as he halted the mare.

“Look!” Adam stretched out his hand in a waving movement, pointing to the land before them.

“Adam, it’s beautiful…” Lilyah’s eyes shone at the sight before her. By now the sun was showing over the mountains, coloring the wide plain before them in soft red and golden lights, turning every leaf to glittering gold and every rock to a shimmering gem. The brown earth looked like velvet, and the sky was scintillating in a breathtaking multitude of colors. All around them the singing of the earliest birds resounded, joyously greeting another day.

“Yeah, and it’s always the same…”

Lilyah’s brow furrowed as his voice didn’t really reflect any admiration for the beauty in front of him, but rather carried an almost resigned tone, even with a slight trace of bitterness to it. She glanced over his face and saw that his features had darkened again.

Adam’s gaze seemed to have lost itself over the plain. “Whenever I’m about to leave, I ride out into the wild first – and it always gets under my skin…” He sighed. “Yeah…”

Lilyah did not get to answer, she did not even have the time to really contemplate his words, when she suddenly heard his soft laugh.

“Seems to me that Mr. ‘Me-first’ is getting impatient, anyway!” His eyes showed a spark of humour as he looked at her.

Lilyah abashedly patted Chai’s shoulder, for the first time in ages a bit miffed about her faithful companion. The stallion had indeed become restless, dancing on the spot, tossing his head and at one point even kicking his hindlegs. She had barely paid attention, she was used to his antics and used to sit them out with ease. Chai wouldn’t get any calmer until he had his morning gallop, and the previous ride through the woods and bushes just had not been enough to cool his temper. “He wants to run…” she reluctantly admitted. She would have vastly preferred to stay and maybe get a further glimpse into Adam’s soul. It was so rare for him to speak his mind like this.

“We’d better give him what he wants!” Adam turned Mariah and nugded her into a trot, smirking as the stallion pranced forward, literally jumping in the air in protest as his mistress reined him in to slow him into the trot. A lesser rider would be hopelessly lost on this fiery Arabian, but Lilyah rode him with such lightness as if she were one with the horse. Adam felt a warm pride swelling in his heart. His girl – his wonderful, beautiful girl! The mere sight of her set his soul at ease.

They rode down the slope until the wide plain opened directly in front of them, causing Chai to rear and whinny out his excitement. Even the calm Mariah eagerly stretched her head, her wide nostrils fluttering as she took in the air, her ears rotating in anticipation. Adam laughed and Lilyah’s heart rejoiced as she saw his eyes brightening.

Adam pressed his hat tighter on his head, “Hey, Lil – race?”

Her face broke into a wide smile. “Race!”

Simultaneously kicking their horses into a gallop, they raced into the wide plains, on thundering hooves, yelling to urge their horses into even more speed, wholeheartedly enjoying the wild pace. It was like they would leave everything that could bother them far behind while they were running with the wind.
* * *

 

“Wait…” Adam halted the mare and motioned Lilyah to stop. His eyes fixed on a point before them, somewhere in the underbrush, he slowly got his rifle out of its scabbard and took it to his cheek. His unconcerned features prevented any worries on Lilyah’s side, and she raised in the saddle to try to detect what had caught his attention.

The rifle bellowed up and Adam grinned as he lowered the weapon. “That’s going to be a fine dinner!”

Lilyah followed as he cantered up to the underbrush and jumped out of the saddle to pick up his prey – a rabbit. Fastening it at his saddle, he squinted in the horizon. “The sun is already lowering. We should start looking for a camp site!” He mounted the mare again. “We’d have a good half hour to the Truckee! I’d suggest we camp there!”

“The Truckee?”

“The Truckee River!” He flashed her a smile. “You’ll like it there! Lots of green all around!”

Lilyah nudged Chai into motion as Adam took the lead. He seemed at ease, holding the reins with one hand, the other resting on his thigh. He had greatly relaxed during their long ride, and it almost was like one of their previous rides they used to have before his cattle drive and her trip with Little Joe. Almost… once in a while, it had become clear that something deep inside of him was still in disorder, but he had always averted from it once her eyes had become questioning. He had talked about the land, the Indians, about a guy called John Fremont, about the Eagle Station ranch that had later become Carson City. Yet he had avoided any mentioning of the Ponderosa or his family. Whenever the subject had threatened to get close to the building of the ranch or anything else that might warrant a question about it, he had changed it.

Lilyah bit her lips. Whatever had caused his fallout with his father – and she dreaded the thought that she herself might be the reason – it had been more than a ‘smashed tea pot’. And the more she thought about this analogy, the less it seemed to fit. Adam wasn’t a man of short temper, she could not for the life of her imagine him throwing a tantrum or smashing things around. He would always argue – cool, calm and rational. But what if he wasn’t listened to? Her face darkened. His father had badly trampled on his pride more than once, and this in her presence. Adam was a very proud man, and while he might accept a lot from his father, there was a limit to everything.

“Take care, Lil, we’re going down!” Adam called over his shoulder before he urged the mare down a steep descent. Mariah took one look and boldly slid down the unsafe ground, without the slightest hesitation. Her footing was steady and secure, and she kept her balance with such grace that her rider wasn’t shaken up in the saddle. Adam’s face showed his pleasant surprise, not for the first time this day, and he heartily patted the mare’s neck to praise her.

“Oh, Adam, this is beautiful!” Lilyah had followed and now took in the sight of the river before them. Meandering through his narrow valley surrounded by mountains, the shores spread rather wide, densely grown by trees and bushes. The deep blue waters ran wild, rushing through groups of rocks and boulders in the riverbed that were splashed by white foam, and then again building large spots of rather calm water closer to the sides where the flow was broken by the winding banks. “One could think we’re the first humans who ever set foot here!”

“We’re not!” Adam laughed. “But it’s a pretty remote spot, nonetheless! Come on, let’s look for a nice place!”

They rode close to the water to let their thirsty horses drink before they proceeded along the river bank. Adam forfeited a couple of suitable places until he finally settled for a glade at a bend of the river. It offered comfortable access to the water, grass for the horses and most important, good shelter. There was only one way from which it could be reached, and that was the way they had just come along. Shielded by high trees, it could not be seen in from outside.

“We’ll camp here!” He halted the mare in the middle of the glade and dismounted, turning to Lilyah who had stopped Chai next to him and now slid from her saddle. Her eyes shone as she looked around.

“Adam, what a lovely place this is!”

“You like it?” He took the heavy saddle bags of Mariah’s back.

“I sure do!” She turned to Chai to unfasten her own saddle bags. “Not only it is beautiful, it has such lush green grass for the horses!”

“Let me do this!” Adam stepped closer and took her saddle bags, throwing them over his shoulder on top of his own. Knowing that the first thing she would do was care for her horse, he unbuckled her leathers and took off Chai’s saddle.

“I’ll take this!” She took the saddle from his hands. “You care for Mariah!”

“On your command, my queen!” Adam smirked as he stored the saddle bags at the edge of the glade and turned to his mare. From the corner of his eye, he watched Lilyah taking off Chai’s bridle and checking on the stallion’s hooves, and a contented smile glided over his face. They had a hard long ride behind them, been in the saddle for at least twelve hours – and yet she wouldn’t think of a rest unless the horses had been cared for.

The camp was quickly set up and Lilyah willingly took a lesson in separating dry wood from fresh wood for the campfire. Adam enjoyed explaining all kinds of things to her – why the wood had to be dry, why there had to be a ring of stones around the fire place, how to light a fire in the first place and why it was important to keep the flames as low as possible. She was a good and attentive pupil, willing to learn. When he carried the dead rabbit to the river bank, she curiously followed.

“If there is a river nearby, you can use it to get rid of the insides!” Adam lectured and drew his knife. “That way you won’t have to bury it in order to not attract coyotes or other prey animals! You ever prepared a piece of game?”

“No…”

“It’s quite easy! First you take the hide off, like this – look!” He expertedly skinned the rabbit. “The hide can be dried and put to a good many uses later on, so we won’t throw it away! Then you’ll break up the game and disembowel it – like this! You must take care to not rupture the gall bladder, for it… Lil?”

She had turned white around her nose, a most pitiable, pained expression on her face.

“Oh…” Adam bit down the laughter and winked at her. “Uhm… why don’t you prepare the coffee? The pot is in one of my saddle bags!”

She swallowed and wordlessly nodded her head before she hastily turned around and fled.

Adam chuckled into himself and went on to finish the rabbit. Given her proven cooking talents, it might be better if he took care of the dinner, anyway.
* * *

 

“We’ve should’ve taken the instruments along!” Adam comfortably stretched out his legs and took a sip of his coffee. “I would love to play for you right now!”

“Yes…” Lilyah leaned against her saddle, her legs curled beneath her on the blanket that Adam had solicitously spread on the grass. “Why didn’t we think of it before?”

Adam arched his eyebrows and looked at the rabbit that was slowly roasting over the low flames of the campfire. The answer was quite easy – he had thought of the instruments but then decided against taking them along. Not only because the departure from the Ponderosa had resembled a flight, not only because the horses had been packed with quite heavy saddle bags already, but rather because he had thought of the sniper and the possibility to run into trouble. Thus he had preferred to keep the ballast low. But right now, in the peaceful ambience of this remote little glade near the river, all troubles, dangers and sorrows seemed to be a world away. The Ponderosa was a world away. His whole life was a world away…

“We’ll take them along next time…” he finally said.

Lilyah stayed silent. She had well noticed his eyes darken again, had watched how his relaxed features had taken this brooding expression that she had seen so often in the past few days. If only she could take whatever was bothering him away from him.

“I can sing for you…” She softly touched his shoulder. “Many of the Arabic songs I know don’t need an instrument to go along… I just can’t do them in English, the words wouldn’t fit with the melody.”

“Please…” His eyes had lit up. “Sing – in whatever language pleases you.”

She gave him a shy smile. “This is a song that starts with a memory –
I remember the wide, endless desert
I remember the wide endless sky
I remember the song of the wild wind,
and I remember the light in your eyes…”

Adam closed his eyes when she softly began to sing, a mesmerizing and melancholic tune. He loved her dark soprano, and while he couldn’t understand the words, he enjoyed the melismatic way she drew out the syllables, often stretching one single syllable over a long, changing melody. It was a way of singing that really didn’t need an instrument, for the voice became an instrument of its own.

Opening his eyes again, he dreamily watched her, taking in every detail of her small, beautiful figure. Her dark eyes seemed to be lost over the flowing river, one hand gently stressing the slow melody. She was the living proof that music had the power to cast a magic spell, and this spell carried his soul away with the alluring tune.

“That was wonderful!” he said when she went silent. “So wonderful!” He leaned over to her and softly kissed her. “Thank you!”

Her finger gingerly brushed over his hair. “I’m glad you liked it…”

“I loved it!” He made himself comfortable and caught her hand, kissing the fingers. “Do you miss your home country?”

“I don’t know…” Lilyah furrowed her brows. “Right now, I would not want to be anywhere but here…”

Adam smiled, his fingertips caressing her hand.

“And you?” she asked. “Would you like to be anywhere else?”

“Right now?” He chuckled. “No…”

She hesitated. “This morning… you said ‘Whenever I’m about to leave…'”

“Yah…” He crinkled his forehead. “I think of it sometimes… there are places in the world that I would just love to see…”

“What places?”

“England!” he replied promptly. “One day I want to sit in a neat balcony place of the Lyceum Theatre in London and watch Hamlet… aw, any play by Shakespeare would do!” He smiled at the notion. “And I want to visit Paris, take a walk through the Montmartre and the Montparnasse, visit the Louvre and then travel to Italy, to see Rome and Venice! And then I’d sail over to Egypt and watch the pyramids…” A teasing spark started dancing in his eyes as he looked at her. “And once there, I might head west… there’s a country whose name just escapes me… and a city that starts with an ‘A’… ‘Aga-something’ or so… shoot, if I could only remember the name…” He laughed out as Lilyah’s fingers jokingly pinched in his belly and caught them to kiss them again. “No hard feelings, hm?”

She laughed and brushed over his cheek. “Why don’t you just go and see all those places?” She regretted the question at once when his relaxed features darkened again and lost the dreaming, almost boyish beam that had build on his face during his imagined journey.

“It’s easier said than done,” he finally said. “I thought of it quite often, everytime when…” He broke off. No need to spread out his problems in front of her. “I never could leave the Ponderosa just like that…” he went on, his eyes wandering over the river. “In the end, it’s still my home. And this land… I could not imagine not seeing it again.”

Lilyah furrowed her brows. “But you wouldn’t have to leave forever! You could always come back…”

Adam laughed, but there was no mirth in it. “And leave my work to my family for a year or so? My father would tell me something different! No, if I leave, I’d leave for good! There would be no return!”

She couldn’t stand the thought that his dreams should be brushed off as casually like this. “Don’t you have a Hajj or something alike?”

“A Hajj?”

“A pilgrimage!” She leaned over to him. “You see, in Islam, every Muslim has a holy obligation to take the pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in his lifetime, provided of course he has the means to do so! It’s a very honorable thing to do, and everybody is proud to have a Hajji – a man who performed the Hajj – in the family!” A witty smile showed in her eyes. “When my father was a young man and went for his pilgrimage to Mecca, he took a long, long route to there, and made station in Andalucia, Italy and Syria until he finally entered the Hejaz! On his way back, he visited Cairo, Alexandria, Tripoli and Algiers – and many people he’d met on his way bought horses from him for decades to come!” She pursed her lips. “Of course, the imam was suspicious about it for at least thirty years, but since my father had been in Mecca at all, there was nothing he could say out loud. Who would ever dare to doubt the motives of an honorable Hajji!”

Adam chuckled. “Yeah… I’d just love to see my father’s face upon telling him that I plan on a pilgrimage to Mecca!”

“Not Mecca, of course! You could take a pilgrimage to Rome! You have the pope in Rome, haven’t you?”

“I’m Protestant!” And after watching her fluttering her lashes, he added, “No pope in Rome for me!”

“Constantinople?” She knitted her brow as he amusedly shook his head. “Jerusalem?”

“You’re really serious about it, aren’t you?” Adam barely held back the laughter and sat up, pulling her into his arms. “What a sweet little conniver you are – but I seriously doubt anyone would buy into a sudden bout of piety like this!”

Her hand gently caressed his temple, a pensive smile lingered in her dark eyes. “I just want you to have your dreams come true…”

His eyes warmed up. “Right now, I’m holding my dreams in my arms – and they are as true as they can get!” He bowed his head and searched her lips that willingly opened beneath his, her arms closing around his shoulders.

Adam enjoyed the long lasting kiss, the softness of her body against his own, until his nose was distracted by a rather unpleasant stench.

“Oh, no!” He pulled back and hastily scrambled on his feet, crouching next to the fireplace to save what could be saved from an utterly burnt rabbit.
* * *

 

“And to think that we’d been sitting right in front of it!” Adam tossed the remains of the rabbit into the river. It had been precious little that still had been edible, and had it not been for Lilyah’s copious stack of bread and cheese, they would have been left hungry.

Lilyah pulled her head between her shoulders and called for Chai.

“What are you doing?” Adam took up the blankets. “Do you want to take a ride?”

“No… I thought we’d go to sleep. The night has set in…”

“Yes…”

“I always make Chai lie down and then sleep next to him – look!” She urged the stallion to lie and squatted next to his neck.

“And sleep while sitting? No… you’ll sleep here!” Adam shook his head and spread the blankets on the ground before he looked at her. “I surely hope you have no doubts about my integrity.”

“No, of course not.” Lilyah got up again and watched him preparing the bed for the night, throwing away some small stones and making sure the place was soft and comfy. From the four blankets they had carried along, he used two for a mattress and folded one as a cover.

“I’ll sleep over there.” He pointed to a spot a good couple of yards away and placed the fourth blanket over his shoulder. He would have nothing to lie on.

“Adam, no, it’s broad enough for both of us!” Lilyah sat down at the edge of the bed and spread the blankets a bit apart. “That is – I surely hope you have no doubts about my integrity.”

A warm smile stole over his lips. “No, of course not.”

He crouched next to her and carefully tucked her into her blanket before he unbuckled his gun belt and placed it against his saddle that lay next to the bed. His eyes wandered over to Chai who had gotten up again and returned to Mariah. After some hesitation, Adam had decided to let the mare roam free, trusting that she would remain with the stallion, if not in her master’s near. Both horses stayed close to the green grass at the entrance of the glade, and Adam knew they would make the best guards they could ask for.

He placed a few more lodges into the fire to keep it going and then lay down next to Lilyah, his face towards hers. By now it had gotten dark, but it was a clear night and the moon provided a faint, silver light, enough for him to rejoice in the features that he had come to love so dearly.

“Good night, Adam…” She stretched out her hand to brush over his cheek.

“Good night, Lilyah…” He closed his own hand around hers and did not let it go.

She smiled and closed her eyes, her hand still in his.
* * *

 

28. The Flow of the River 

The sun was already showing over the tips of the woods when Adam woke up the next morning. The first thing he noticed was Lilyah’s hand still resting in his. Fighting the wish to squeeze it, he gazed over her small figure, a warm feeling rising in his heart to such an amount that he felt like he might burst if it couldn’t find an outlet. Lilyah was sound asleep, curled on her side like a kitten, her delicate face so soft in her slumber, and so close to him. He cautiously lifted his head to rest it on his free hand, careful to not make a hastened move that might wake her up, enjoying every moment of watching her asleep and hoping those precious moments would last a long while. His smile deepened as he gazed at her, delighting in the first rays of the sun catching in her dark hair, drawing fine highlights on her skin.

A stomp shook him up and the next thing he saw was the head of the black stallion, heartily nudging his mistress’ shoulder and giving her a loving blow. Adam rolled his eyes.

“Chai…” Still half asleep, Lilyah drew her hand out of Adam’s to fend off her horse’s head. “Go away…”

“You heard the lady!” Adam pulled a face. “Why don’t you just go and eat some grass or something like that?”

The stallion nickered and gave him a greeting snort straight in his face. Adam wiped his cheek and heard Lilyah giggle as she finally managed to send her obnoxious horse away.

“Good morning…” Her dark eyes smiled at him.

“Good morning…” Adam returned the smile. “I was just pondering if I should wake you with a kiss, like the prince once woke the Sleeping Beauty…” He sighed. “The competition was faster!”

“Aww…” Lilyah laughed and impulsively bowed forward to kiss him.

Adam responded all too willingly and for a long moment they lost themselves in a wave of tenderness. Lilyah’s arms closed around his neck as he drew her to his chest; kissing all over her face before he searched her lips again. He regretted it vividly when Lilyah softly pulled back, but at the same time he was glad she did. For one sweet and dangerous moment, he had forgotten everything.

Her fingers gently brushed over his cheek, her breathing had become harder, just as his had. “You’re scratching! And terribly so!” Her eyes revealed that she just sought a way to pull herself out of the passion that had threatened to overwhelm her, just as it had threatened to overwhelm him.

“Sorry…” He sat up and scratched over his stubbly chin. “Time for a shave, I guess…”

“And time for coffee!” she added and got up on her knees. “Will you look for firewood while I wash myself?”

He understood. “Sure, go ahead… I won’t look at the river.”

She gave him a smile and left. Adam listened to the soft rustling of the silk fading off and admonished himself to stay true to his word and not look after her. The water next to the glade, inside the bend of the river, was as calm as a pond, there was no danger that she might slip and fall in. And still all his senses were wide open and his ears alert to the slightest sound coming from the river bank as he scavenged the edge of the glade for firewood.
* * *

 

“No, no, not that big log!” Adam lowered his hand with the sharp razor. “The fire is still small, so take little twigs and branches until the flames are stronger. The big one would take ages to start burning!”

“I see…” Lilyah thrust the log back and started putting smaller pieces onto the lowly smouldering camp fire. “I just wanted it to burn a little faster!”

“Wouldn’t have worked that way.” He squinted into his small mirror and continued shaving. “But the small ones will burn pretty fast and once you’ve got enough glow, you can put the bigger logs in!”

“Alright!” She threw a few more twigs in the fire and sat back on her bent legs, covertly watching Adam from the side. He had put off his shirt before he’d been to wash himself at the river, and he hadn’t put it back on yet. She bashfully lowered her eyes and placed the coffee pot in the middle of the fireplace – and still couldn’t resist secretly gazing at his arms and shoulders, his broad chest. He had lots of dark curly hair on his chest and she wondered what it might feel like to run her fingers through it. Most likely it would be as soft as the little curls on his neck.

“I would put water into the pot before heating it…” Adam remarked.

“Oh…” Lilyah’s cheeks turned to crimson red as she tried to get the empty coffee pot out of the fire, not considering that the metal had heated up. “Ouch!” 

“Now let me do this…” Adam crouched next to her and retrieved the pot she had dropped. “Burnt your little fingers?”

A reproachful look from under long lashes hit him. Smirking, he took her hand and kissed her fingers, one by one. “You wait here, I’ll get you some water, hm?” His dark voice was like a purr.

She wordlessly nodded her head and forced herself to not look after him as he went to fill the pot.
* * *

 

Adam took a deep breath from the fresh morning air and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. It promised to be a hot day, not even the cool air from the river and the shades of the trees could prevent the earth from oozing warmth already early in the day. For a moment he thought of the Californian drought and how it might affect Nevada territory, but then hastily brushed off the thought. He didn’t want to think about it. He thankfully accepted the coffee mug Lilyah handed to him and admitted to himself that if only he could, he would halt the flow of time to make this morning last forever. The glade was so peaceful that it seemed like an island in a nowhere land, as if it wasn’t a part of the usual world. And deep inside, he almost wished the glade would be an island, located somewhere in some vast, endless, faraway ocean. His eyes glided over the river, the high trees sheltering the glade, their two horses freely roaming about, grazing, not even wearing halters. As Lilyah had predicted, Mariah had stayed close by and, unlike the stallion, had patiently waited for Adam to give her a morning greeting.

Lilyah… his eyes warmed up as he gazed over her small figure, sitting opposite him at the campfire like an ancient poem come to life, gracefully resting on her bent legs, her long dark hair flowing in soft waves almost to her hips. Adam’s thoughts started wandering off in directions in which he really shouldn’t continue – not yet. Slightly abashed at himself, he put down his mug and turned around to search in his saddle bags.

“What is this?” Lilyah curiously drew closer and sat beside him, her eyes fixed on the strange things he was taking out.

“Fake flies!” His fingers skillfully twisted specs of wool and thread to little prickly balls. “Nothing against bread and cheese, but I think I’ll catch us some good, fat fish for breakfast! There are some fine cutthroat trout in the Truckee!”

“Cutthroat trout?” Lilyah arched her eyebrows. “Are they dangerous?”

“No!” Adam chuckled. “They have reddish colored throats, hence the name!”

“And they eat this?”

“Not really!” He dangled one of the little balls in front of her face, amused by her big dark eyes following it. “The trout will see it from under the water and think it’s a fly – and snap!” Dropping the ball, he pinched her nose and laughed as she jumped back in her seat.

“Bandit!” Her hand flew up and tousled his hair. He laughingly fended it off and caught her wrist, pulling her closer to him. “Peace, hm?”

She lovingly tapped his nose, enjoying the sight of the dimples deepening in his cheeks. “I’d have to think about that real hard!”

“I promise I’ll be good from now on!” He rubbed his temple at her hair and smirked as the fine ornaments of her hair jewelry scrapped over his skin. “You’re scratching!”

“Oooh!” She thrust her hands to her hips in mock indignation. “Now look who’s talking! The king of all hedgehogs!”

Adam laughed. “Come on, we better get going or we’ll be still sitting here this evening!” Twinkles danced in his eyes as he took her face in both hands. “Not, that I would mind… in fact, when I think of it…”

“I want fish for breakfast!” Lilyah stood up and looked down at him, her fingers gently brushing back his tousled hair. His face seems so much more relaxed than the day before, the lines beneath his eyes seemed so much lighter. “And I want a big fish!”

“I’ll get you the biggest fish in the whole river!” Adam flashed her a boyish grin. “At least I will pretend it is after I catch it!”

“And I will pretend I believe it!” She winked at him. “Unless it is smaller than three inches…”

He laughed and his hand glided down to her hip, savoring the soft feeling of the silken fabric, the warmth it embraced, the promise of what he knew was beneath it. For one moment their eyes met and their laughter faded. Adam swallowed and fought down the impulse to pull her closer to him. “Why… why don’t you pick some raspberries… over there…” It took him an enormous effort to pull his hand from her, to point to the underbrush at the edge of the glade. “They’re the first this year…”

“I love raspberries…” Lilyah looked in the given direction. She still felt the warmth of his hand and it still seemed to go through and through, all through her flesh and right into her heart. “I’ll pick some!”

Adam handed her the pot from his saddle bag, gave her a few admonishments to not venture too deep into the underbrush and watched her strolling off to the berry shrubs, a curious Chai cantering up to her to examine what might be in that pot she carried. Adam chuckled to himself as she actually started explaining to the horse what she was about to do, and at the same time his mind began drawing the plans for a future home. It certainly would need big, spacious stables since he had noticed before that Lilyah wasn’t exactly pleased with the small boxes in the Ponderosa barn and preferred to keep both Chai and Mariah in the spacious mares’ stalls. It would have to be open stables, of course, combined with a corral or even better a pasture, so Chai wouldn’t see a need to break out. Adam’s grin deepened as he put the pieces of his fishing rod together. Amazing what unforeseen architectonic challenges were suddenly emerging!

His amusement faded as he took a seat on a sole rock at the river’s bank and threw out the line. Before building a house, he should have the land to build it on. And there was no land anywhere that would be legally his own, except for the small piece that had once been Ed Payson’s – and that didn’t have the space required for the big pastures he envisioned.

Ponderosa land? No doubt his father would give him some if he’d ask for it. Adam pressed his lips together and watched the fake fly dancing over the calm waters. All of a sudden, the river in front of him turned into a painfully fitting allegory. The small lagoon washing into the bend near the glade was so tranquil, so peaceful, the branches of the trees reflecting in its dark green water – and yet there was the not so peaceful Truckee rushing by, whirling and foaming against the banks outside the bend, filling the air with the sound of restless waters, a notion of the strong undercurrents in this river that not so long ago had almost taken his life. There was no magic island in a faraway ocean, and time would certainly not come to a halt.

Adam did not realize that his face had darkened, that he was knitting his brow. What exactly was his problem?

His mind wandered back, far back to Boston, to the year 1849 when he had received his father’s letter about the destruction of the Sutter place and his plans to leave for the Sierra Nevada. At that time, the Ponderosa had not been much more than a crude hut in the mountains, used by his father as a base when trapping fur while his young family lived in California, or more correctly, New Helvetia. Adam still could recite the letter word for word – the bitterness about the greed for gold that ruined Sutter’s land, but also the realization of the chances the gold rush would provide for the area – especially the formerly cheap and little acknowledged land at the eastern slopes of the Sierras. His father’s visions had been mesmerizing, painting in strong brushes what chances there would be for an educated young man, an engineer and an architect, and since Adam had finished college anyway, he’d hastily ended his private architecture studies and headed back west, only months before the whole area was declared Utah territory.

And it had started well, with his first task being to turn the ramshackle hut in the mountains into a stately house. He still remembered his pride when his father had scratched his head upon his plans for the great room and its raised ceiling, unsure if it would actually be buildable. It was, of course – Adam had not slept throughout his studies. Back then, his father had seen him as an equal, a partner, albeit a young one, and it was still the time that Adam remembered most fondly. It had been a hard time, not only for the backbreaking work of cultivating the land, but more so because their only real chance of trading their beef had been in Placerville, still called Hangtown at that time, since the newly founded Eagle Station ranch had been largely self-sufficient, Virginia City non-existent and the little business they could pick up from the California trail barely enough to survive on. How often had they taken the rough, daylong ride to Hangtown, summer and winter, trying not to lose their stock in the rocky heights, and then back again, their supplies packed on mules? Father and son, side by side.

When had it changed? When had he turned from a hopeful young man working to build up a life into an overgrown boy doing his chores? When the remote spot in the mountains had started to turn into the big ranch that his father had been dreaming of all those years on the trail? When towns and settlements had begun to pop out of the ground all around, turning the vast mountains of pines they owned into pure gold? When they didn’t have to defend their land against intruders and prospectors anymore, because the Ponderosa had suddenly become a sort of institution, well established and well known all around? A legend almost, since from most people’s point of view, it had always been there? The day when the rancher had become the boss? The day when he had begun to pay his sons wages?

And how much of it had been his own fault, for simply letting it happen, for just going with the flow, for always trying to be useful, being of service for others, living up to everybody’s expectations? Doing his duties, adhering to his commitments…

“That’s the trouble with you, Adam! You’re always doing things that make you unhappy.”

Adam flinched when the voice sounded up in his head, the face grinning at him appeared before his inner eye.

“I can only do what I think is right, Tom, that is all any man can do!”

Adam shook his head and wiped over his forehead. It must have been the sound of the flowing river bringing back those memories.

“Adam?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and turned his head as Lilyah appeared behind him.

“What are you thinking?” She came closer and softly put a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothing much…” He leaned against her, for one moment filled with the strong desire to just nestle in her arms. She seemed to sense it, her hand slowly stroking over his back while her eyes searched for his. A part of him just wished to snug into this warm tenderness, yet another part bristled, almost taken aback by himself. What was he doing? Seeking comfort like a little boy…

“Hey, we got one!” He suddenly jumped up, hastily getting in the fishing line. “Lil, we got one!”

“Oh…” Lilyah looked up to him, more confused than anything else.

“As I promised you – the biggest fish in the whole river!” Adam flashed her a smile as he held up a big trout in mocking pride. “Now don’t tell me you have any doubts! This giant has almost the proportions of a whale!”

“Sure…” She would have loved his grin – if only it were genuine. But she did not dare address him on it. Bringing a smile to her face, she tried to hide her concern. “You sure you mean whales and not mackerels?”

“Ho!” Adam feigned a pout. “You promised to believe me!”

“But I do – I’m absolutely convinced it’s the biggest mackerel in the whole river!”

Adam chuckled and handed her the dead fish. “You take care of that one and I’ll see to it that we get a second one!”

“Alright!” Her heart felt relief when both his chuckle and the warmth in his eyes were as true as they could get. The lost little boy that had been sitting on that rock looking into the river was gone, the strong and confident man was back. And still she wished he would not hide from her whatever it was he was keeping so deep inside of him.
* * *

 

“Oh, Lil…” Adam drew his knife and tried to move the black and burnt thing in the pan. It took some effort until he could loosen the fish from the pan’s bottom when its whole side stuck to the metal.

“It… it burnt really fast, I couldn’t prevent it…” Lilyah crouched next to him, with the most embarrassed face in the world, uncomfortably picking her fingers. She probably shouldn’t have started brushing the horses while the fish was roasting…

Adam nodded his head and tried to turn the burnt remains around, bewilderment in his eyes. Apart from being burnt to charcoal, the fish seemed absolutely intact, merely the head was cut off. “You didn’t take it out?”

“Out of what?”

Adam closed his eyes while he took a deep breath.

“I didn’t know fish had to be taken out of their skins…” Lilyah’s finger bashfully picked at her lower lip. “When Marfa prepared a fish, she always left the skin in place… even the fins…”

“Yes!” Adam regarded her from the side, the corners of his mouth already twitching. “The skin and the fins – but not the bowels!”

“Oh…” Her cheeks turned red.

Adam started laughing, softly first, but then his laughter got heartier and louder. His eyes were sparkling with fun as he got up and took the pan. “Someone in that river is going to love us!” He had a look at the pan before he tossed its contents into the river. “Or maybe not…”

Lilyah got up and searched for words, anything appropriate and face-saving she could say, but she was at a loss at it. Flustered, she began sorting through her robes.

“Hey!” Adam still chuckled and put the pan down. “We’ll catch us a new one!” He stretched out his hand. “You’ll join me?”

She followed him to the same rock on which he had been sitting before. Closely together, they both fit on it.

Adam prepared another fake fly and threw out the line, before he put an arm around her and pulled her even closer to him. She smiled and nestled into his side.
* * *

 

 

29. The Herd 

Adam halted the big chestnut mare and cocked his head, listening. The distant sound that just had caught his attention was unmistakable and yet he wouldn’t have expected to hear it in this remote area. There wasn’t a ranch anywhere around. Adam clenched his teeth, his eyes wandering across the densely grown rocky hillsides they were passing by. Something inside of him just wanted to ignore this sound, ride on as if he hadn’t heard anything. He and Lilyah were headed for the northern shores of the lake, and he wanted to get there before it got dark. He had a reason to get there, a good reason…

But it was of no use. He just couldn’t get out of his skin.

“Adam, what is it?” Lilyah pulled up Chai beside him.

“D’you hear that?”

She wrinkled her forehead. “It sounds like… cows?”

“Yah!” He motioned Mariah into a slow walk, scrutinizing every rock, every bush around from slit eyes. “You stay behind me!”

Lilyah obliged, keeping Chai at a short rein. She well noticed that Adam’s right hand was casually resting on his gun holster, and that much she had learned during her rides with her father – never get in a man’s way when he sensed trouble.

Adam’s tension eased after they had rounded a ledge of large boulders, opening the sight to a softly declining slope that provided a wide view on the area. There was not much of a chance that anyone would be lurking in the rocky hills they had just passed and the few crooked trees on the slope wouldn’t provide a hiding place for anyone planning an ambush, either.

And there they were – a small herd of maybe 40 head of cattle, scraping the barren earth for some pasture, spread onto the slope as if someone had forgotten them there. Adam hesitatingly rode closer, every fiber in him wanting to turn around and continue the ride to the lake as if nothing had happened. Yet his eye habitually scanned over the cattle and sure enough, the stylized, pine-shaped Ponderosa brand literally jumped in his face. He halted the mare and for a moment he sat still, wishing they had never left the glade.

Lilyah stopped Chai next to the mare, her eyes gazing over the cattle. “Do they belong to someone?”

Adam took a deep breath. “Yes, they belong to someone!” He caught her look and regretted his slightly exasperated reply. How could she possibly know? “They have the Ponderosa brand,” he added in a softer tone. “They belong to our herd!”

She regarded him from the side, saw his working jaw, squinted eyes under restless brows, and she felt a pang of regret. He had been so happy and light-hearted in the past two days, the shadows that were haunting him had seemed so far away.

“They sound as if they needed to be milked,” she finally said.

Adam gave a dry laugh, albeit a mirthless one. “They’re no milk cows. They’re hungry, that’s why they’re bawling!”

“Oh, I see…” Her eyes wandered over the barren ground, catching itself at the shrubs building small heaps scattered across the slope. “They’ve even chewed on the shrubs. Abu Yussuf once told me cows never eat on shrubs unless they’re real hungry, and even then some would rather starve than chew on twigs.”

One of Adam’s eyebrows formed to a surprised triangle. She had a good eye, not many would have spotted the marks in the shrubs. “This is true. Who is Abu Yussuf?”

“Old Abu Yussuf was a cousin of our imam! He owned the biggest herd of cattle in our area; Marfa used to buy sweet butter and cow milk cheese from him.” She looked at the cattle. “Of course, his herd wasn’t as big as that.”

“How… big was his herd?” A first spark of amusement showed in his eyes.

“He used to have about 15 milk cows and one bull!” She gave him a little smile. “We just don’t have the land for lots of cattle.”

“Nor do we! At least not for thousands of heads!” His amusement had passed as quickly as it had emerged, his hazel eyes darkening again as he glanced over the small herd. The cattle didn’t look good, almost as if they had wandered miles and miles in search for feed. Adam knew this particular slope, knew that while it wasn’t exactly the best pasture, it always had at least a fair amount of wild grass. Now, after an exceedingly rainless spring, there only were a few dried-up bushels, all of which the hungry critters had already ripped out of the dusty ground. He took a deep breath and swallowed down a sudden wave of anger. Of course, straying cattle was a most common occurrence, even strays wandering off to the most ridiculous places where one never would have expected them to venture. And still he felt that this time it was different. He thought of all the big ranchers – including, if not first of all, his father – who just had to buy up those herds that the California drought had washed into the territory, with not much care that even under the best of conditions the arid land barely fed the cattle that was already there. He, Adam, had strongly advised against any such purchases, but he had been brushed off, not without his father reminding him who had built up the Ponderosa by keen purchases of the same nature.

Adam sighed. It would take him about two days to drive those strays back to where they belonged, and this would eat up all the time they had left. He looked at the cattle and it felt as if each one of them would be looking back at him. He could not leave them there on the barren slope.

“I’m sorry, Lilyah, but I have to get them back to the main herd!” He didn’t realize the resigned tone in his voice. “I just cannot leave them here…”

“I understand!” She bowed forward and touched his arm. “It’s alright! And it will give you a good chance to work with Mariah!”

A little smile played around his lips. That was certainly a little positive in the whole thing.

“Chai and I can help you drive them along!” Lilyah proudly patted her stallion’s neck. “Chai is an excellent goat herder and I’m fairly sure he can learn how to tend to cattle!”

“Uhm…” He hastily searched for the right words to gently dampen her optimism. “Lil…”

“Wait, I’ll show you!”

Adam immediately was on alert upon these much-feared words, but relaxed as quickly as he saw her sliding from the saddle. Whatever she was up to, she obviously did not plan to ride up to the herd. Fairly relieved, he leaned on Mariah’s crest to watch what was following.

“Look, Chai!” Her hand pointed dramatically to the cattle. “These are the girls!”

Adam gulped down a chuckle. “They’re not all girls…”

“Shsht!” Her brow furrowed. “It’s easier for him to learn this way, because our goats have been girls!”

“Oh, of course! Irrefutable logic…”

“You’re distracting him!” Lilyah gave him an admonishing look and walked her stallion a couple of yards away. “Now Chai, do you see the girls? Where are the girls, Chai? The girls! Do you see the girls?”

Adam deliberately rubbed the side of his nose, hiding his amusement behind his hand. The lake, the anger, the drought, it all began to sink to the back of his mind. He was well aware of it, pondering with vivid amazement the wonderments of being in love. Once again, Lilyah had managed to reduce all his worries and broodings to mere fragments at the bottom of his regard. His eyes began to sparkle with laughter as he watched her continuing her lesson, watched the stallion actually stretching his dished head to glare at the cattle and answering his mistress’ questions with an almost affirmative nicker.

“Alright, Chai, now go get the girls! Go, Chai! Get the girls! The girls, Chai!”

The stallion nickered – and shot off. Adam sat up, looking at Lilyah who proudly raised her chin and donned a wide, triumphant smile; and then at Chai who cantered up to the small herd, the tassles of his Arab tack fluttering around him and his distinctively high-set tail once again pointing straight into the air. He certainly wasn’t afraid of the cattle and half circumvented the herd before he reared up and let out a most imperious neigh.

Only the cattle weren’t exactly impressed by the riderless horse.

Chai threw up his head and slammed his front hooves into the ground, snorting in anger. The proud Arabian stallion hated to be ignored.

Adam bit down a snicker, but his amusement didn’t last for long. Chai reared again – and then charged forward, breaking into the herd like a hawk into the hen house. Adam’s jaw almost dropped to his chest as he saw the stallion bucking around, bumping into one steer, kicking against another one, biting left and right. Bawling and mooing, the cattle dashed off in all directions, head over heels, trying to get away as fast as they could. Within moments the pastoral scene had turned into chaos, whirling up clouds of dust. Adam flinched as he saw the dished black head snapping forward, biting another cow in the butt and forcing the poor critter to run even faster, then throwing himself around to charge after another one. Judging from his vivacious neighing, the stallion had a hilarious time.

“Good boy, Chai! Good boy!” Lilyah’s joyful voice tore Adam out of his perplexion. “You’re doing fine, Chai!”

Adam almost winced, gazing at her in disbelief. The brightest smiles all over her face, her eyes shining at her beloved equine companion, she was brimming with pride – and apparently blissfully oblivious to the fact that the ruckus he created didn’t make any sense at all.

The stallion whinnied in reply, visibly puffing himself up at his mistress’ praise. Basking in his own glory, he tossed his head even more proudly, prancing along in even more boastful strides, showing off in an arrogance that would have rivaled even the greatest prima donna, before he fell into a rapid gallop again to chase yet another cow around. Adam did not know whether to laugh or to cry. At least Lilyah was far enough from the running cattle to not get in any danger of being trampled, and it was unlikely that the cows would be coming uphill. Nevertheless he braced himself for putting an end to this pandemonium before the stallion had scattered the cattle all over Nevada territory. Lilyah’s next words, however, made him freeze up.

“Good boy, Chai! Now – bring the girls to me! Bring them, Chai! Bring the girls!”

Adam stiffened. Still unable to believe his eyes, he saw the stallion closing in on a steer, snapping at the critter’s behind and chasing it straight to where his mistress was waiting. Adam’s heart skipped a beat as his eyes darted from the storming steer to Lilyah and back again. He wouldn’t be fast enough to get her out of harm’s way. There was only one chance left.

“Lil, WATCH OUT!” He threw Mariah forward and readied his lasso, praying that the mare would be at least half as good a roper as Little Joe had claimed. Searing hot, the thought of the light snaffle bit he was still using ripped through his mind as he raced towards the steer. If the mare wouldn’t perform, the flimsy bit would barely give him enough power over her mouth to force her. But he had only fractions of seconds to act, no time to ponder. Clenching his teeth, he whirled the rope and saw the noose closing around the steer’s neck before he dallied the rope off around the saddle horn. With only one hand, he pulled up the mare.

Mariah came to a rapid halt, her hind hooves slipping, fighting for traction, while she literally dug her front hooves into the ground. Adam felt her backend going down as she thrust her whole weight on her behind to avoid being jerked forward by the running steer, pulling the rope to near breaking point. All her muscles tensing, Mariah stood like a rock, not giving an inch – the steer was yanked off its hooves and crashed to the ground in a cloud of dust.

Adam let a sigh of relief, motioning the mare sideways. From the corner of his eye he saw the stallion running up. “Chai, STOP IT!”

Chai bucked backwards, with an almost offended look on his face. Had he not done everything right?

“Chai, come here!” That was Lilyah’s voice, a lot less cheerful than before.

Adam heaved a deep breath and dismounted, his eyes firmly on the steer. He kept his guard as he cautiously released the animal from the rope, well aware that the steer could attack as soon as it was back on its feet. A snorting sound came up behind him and he noticed Mariah. The mare had her neck stretched forward, looking the steer straight in the eye like a sturdy, experienced trail horse. Much to Adam’s relief, the critter had had enough. Shaking its head, it turned around itself and trotted off, with a mooing that suspiciously sounded as if it were to say ‘Lunatics! Nothing but lunatics around…’

“Good girl!” Adam brushed over the mare’s head. “You’ve just earned yourself the right to keep your snaffle bit ’til kingdom come!”

The mare answered with a soft blow.

Adam closed up to Lilyah who stood there with a slightly perturbed face, her black stallion at her side. Drawing another breath, he sternly looked down at her. “That could have gone awfully wrong!”

She gave him a bashful look from below, her fingers disconcertedly fiddling with one of the tassles decorating Chai’s reins. “You don’t think… the cow would have stopped…?” Her voice sounded very thin.

“No, it would not have stopped! It would have trampled all over you!”

She seemed to shrink a few inches, and Adam felt his severe stance melting like butter in the sun. No matter how he tried, he could not keep his lips from softening into a smile. “Lilyah…” He slid a finger under her chin and lifted her face to him. “These are no goats! And no meek milk cows, either! These are dangerous animals, especially when running wild! They will trample everything that gets in front of them!”

“I understand…” Her hand gingerly touched his arm. “I should have thought about that. But I still think that Chai did fine for a first try, and with a little more training…”

Adam cleared his throat, momentarily at a loss for words.

“You once said that if Chai could get trained on cattle, he might save you a ranch hand, and…”

“Yah…” A lopsided grin stole over his mouth. “He could save us the branding as well – we could always tell our cattle by the bite marks on their butts!” He had to bite down a chuckle when he saw the look on her face. “Lil, you cannot chase a herd of cattle around like that! We’ve been lucky it was just a small bunch – had it been a big herd, it would have come to a stampede! And once a big herd gets rampant, there’s hardly anything anyone can do! So please, don’t chase Chai at the cattle like this again! It would do more harm than anything else!”

“Yes…” She pressed her lips together. “I just wanted to help…”

“You help me enough by staying out of danger!” He offered her his cupped hand as a mounting help and lifted her into her saddle. Stepping back as she sorted her drapes and robes, he added, “Besides, I’m really looking forward to work with Mariah! She’s proven herself to be a fine roper, I wonder how she’ll do at cutting!”

A little smile lit her face at the mentioning of Mariah, just as he had hoped. Picking up his lasso, he returned to the mare and mounted, rolling the rope up to fasten it on his saddle horn.

“May I try this?” Lilyah rode closer, her eyes on the lasso.

Adam hesitated, his first impulse was to say no. But then – what harm could it be? She certainly had learned her lesson, and maybe it wasn’t the worst idea to give her another demonstration that all things were not as easy as she seemed to think.

“Sure, why not?” He handed her the lasso, watching with slight amusement how she turned it in her hands, trying to figure out where it ended and where it began.

“You’ll have to learn to whirl it! Let me show you!” Adam retrieved the lasso and whirled the noose, left of the mare, right of the mare, and over his head, intentionally showing off a bit so he could be sure that she wouldn’t be able to pick it up that easily. “Now you try!”

She took the lasso back and began whirling, only to have the rope falling all over her and her horse. Adam bit down an all too apparent smirk and comfortably leaned back in the saddle, one hand on Mariah’s backend.

“It looks a lot easier than it is…” Lilyah remarked and threw the noose again, causing it to swish her hair jewelry and the laced veil off her head. The delicate fineries landed on the ground.

Adam couldn’t help a chuckle and yet he admired the grace with which she motioned the stallion backwards and bowed down from the saddle to pick up the lost preciosities. Chai wasn’t a small horse, certainly standing a good inch higher than Joe’s pinto, and yet she had no problem bowing down and coming up again with exquisite elegance. And much to his silent joy, she had to perform the graceful act once more, for while refastening the jewelry, the biggest part of the lasso slipped to the ground. What a lovely sight for him to savor!

She shot him a miffed look. “A gentleman would have jumped from his horse to pick it up for the lady!”

“This gentleman, my dearest lady, is banned in place, by awe and silent admiration!” His dimples had grown so deep that his cheeks above them looked like shiny little apples.

Lilyah chose to ignore him and valiantly threw the lasso up again. And miracles over miracles, she actually managed to catch something with it.

“Oh, Chai, I’m sorry! Poor baby… let me take that rope off your head…”

Adam crouched in the saddle, his shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter. He did not see that her face turned into a fist upon his gurgling snickering – but he did hear the stallion cantering off. His laughter stuck in his throat.

“Lilyah!” He straightened in sudden alert. He had ignored what an excellent rider she really was – while she still needed both hands to sort the tangled mess of the lasso, she could well ride her horse with her thighs only. And she clearly aimed at a single cow a few yards off the bulk of the scattered herd.

“Lil, no!” Adam felt the blood draining from his face.

The cow started running as soon as it heard the rider coming up from behind. The fast stallion had no problem catching up, closing in on the cow’s side – and Lilyah gingerly placed the noose over the cow’s horns as if it were a wreath of flowers. Firmly clinging onto the remaining loops of the lasso, she pulled up Chai. The stallion stood, the cow kept running, the rope tensed – what had to happen, happened.

“LIL!” Adam kicked his mare into a gallop, watching in horror as Lilyah’s small body was jerked off the saddle, flying through the air and thrown to the ground. He saw Chai turning around to his fallen mistress, heard his alerted neigh. Ice cold sweat broke from his skin, his insides cramped in sudden, cruel fear.

“Lilyah!” He literally threw himself from his horse and ran up to her. “Lil!”

“Stupid cow! Miserable, stupid, silly cow! Dregs of a plague-ridden camel!” Lilyah scrambled onto her feet, brushing the dust from her robes. Her dark eyes flamed. “I had it! I had it!”

Adam stood in shock, letting out a trembling breath. His legs felt like pudding. Gradually, slowly, his frozen blood began to flow again. Cramping his hands, he felt the urgent need to take her over his knee. “Are you… hurt?”

“No…” Steadying herself at his arm, she looked up to him, suddenly noticing how pale he was. “Adam… this is not the first time I fell from my horse…” She raised her hand to touch his face when she hissed, glancing at her bloodied palm.

“Now let me have a look…” Adam slowly regained his composure, taking her hands in his. The rope had scraped one of her palms, albeit only lightly at the side. “You’re lucky, it could’ve been much worse! Wait…” He got out his kerchief and softly wiped off the blood before he took her hand to his lips and kissed it. The shock still sat deep and he took another deep breath. It almost felt as bad as the day when he had accidently shot Joe. Forcing himself to calmness, he wrapped the cloth around her hand. “Lil, what were you thinking? That you could pull up a 900 pound cow just like that?”

Her dark eyes looked up to him, with a mixture of guilt and wonderment. This time, however, the velvet magic failed to melt his stance.

“This was reckless, dangerous and downright stupid!” His voice wasn’t loud, but sharp. “You could’ve killed yourself – and you could’ve killed Chai!”

“Chai?”

“Oh yes, Chai! That cow could’ve turned against you! I’ve seen horses ridden by inexperienced hands that got their trunks ripped open by a steer’s horns from throat to haunches!” He demonstratively pointed to the respective spots on Chai’s body. “It’s not a pleasant sight, believe me!”

She swallowed and uncomfortably shirked her shoulders, her hands clasped together. “I’m sorry…” Her voice was very low. “I wanted to show you because you laughed at me…”

“Oh, Lil!” He let a deep breath and shook his head. “Lil, look at me!”

She looked at him.

“Next time you’re mad at me, throw something!”

A tiny smile stole over her lips. “Alright!”

He chuckled and pulled her into his arms.
* * *

 

Adam was more than pleased as he pulled up the chestnut mare. “Good girl, Mariah, good girl!” He heartily patted her neck. There wasn’t a damp hair in her copper-colored coat and she had done a lot of running, rounding up the cattle that the stallion had scattered all over the place. Additionally, Adam had worked her through various steps of cutting a single cow from the herd, just to see how she would perform. And she had performed brilliantly.

Nudging her into a gallop, he rounded the herd another time, enjoying the seemingly endless energy of her fast sprints. What delighted him most of all was the ease with which he could ride her. No constant reining in as with Sport, no constant pushing and pressing as with his second chestnut. Once in motion, Mariah moved like clockwork – steady and reliable, yet attentive and responsive to his slightest command. And this in spite of the light snaffle bit that did not give him a fraction of the control over the horse than the more common curb bit would provide. Adam pulled her up again, for the mere enjoyment of her perfectly accurate stops, praising and patting her once more. This mare was worth her weight in silver!

Straightening his back, he looked out for Lilyah who had retreated to a small hill from which she could watch him. His face softened at her sight. She gave a beautiful image, sitting in the saddle so gracefully, the long drapes of her silken robes softly moving in the wind, her black stallion standing as proud as a statue. A picture looking as if it were directly extracted from Thousand and One Nights – and no unassuming spectator savoring this Oriental splendor would ever be able to guess what a heap of nonsense those two rapscallions could produce!

Adam laughed into himself and cantered up to her.

“I could use a bit of help now!” he said, squinting at the herd – and trying his best to not smirk at the sudden spark of excitement jumping up in her eyes.

“Yes?” She was all attention.

“Yeah!” His hand pointed to the end of the slope. “I’m thinking of driving the herd down there, along the hillside and then to the valley below! It would help a lot if you could just ride along the right side!”

“Of course!” She grabbed for her reins that up to now had been lying across the stallion’s withers. “Chai and I…”

“Lil!” He gently put a hand on hers. “Just ride along – and promise that you won’t get closer to the herd than ten yards at most! That will do to keep the side secured, because the cattle will stay clear off your horse! If you get closer, or if Chai starts chasing any cows again, you’d just cause me some unnecessary extra work!”

“Don’t worry!” She gave him a reassuring smile. “I won’t do anything stupid again, I promise!”

“Alright!” His smile spread from his eyes to his lips. “Keep your eye on me, I’ll give you directions whether to ride forward or backward to the herd. And see to it that you gain distance if I push my hand in front of me like this!” He demonstrated the gesture. “And Lil, I expect you to listen to my commands – and promptly so!” He took her chin between his fingers and turned her face to him. “Lilyah, I mean it! I really, really mean it!”

“I know…” She softly touched his face. “Don’t you worry!”

He bowed forward and placed a ginger kiss on her forehead. “Now come on, let’s go!”

Side by side, they cantered down the slope. Adam gave her a few more instructions and noticed with both relief and secret pride that she stayed true to her word, taking the right side of the herd and keeping her distance. Ten yards – that was far enough to not cause any harm or get in any danger. For one precious moment he allowed himself to just watch her riding along, before he concentrated on the task that lay before him. The cattle were hungry and unwilling, but also weakened and exhausted by lack of feed and water. They would not give him too much trouble. The first couple of hours would be strenuous, but once they would got near the valley with its fresh grass, they would run all by themselves.

From the corner of his eye he saw Lilyah reining in Chai, looking over to him and waiting for his signal. And all out of a sudden, the thought of having to drive the strays home did not seem as repulsive as before.

“HEY YAH!” Waving his hat, he urged Mariah into a gallop and began moving the herd.
* * *

 

 

30. Undercurrents 

Adam pulled up one leg and placed his shank over Mariah’s withers, relaxing in the saddle as the herd began grazing. The cattle were so hungry that not even an explosion would have driven them from the much needed pasture. Not one sound came from the munching critters, a stark contrast to their increasingly loud bawling before, when they had stormed down the last furlongs to the valley with its small, slowly running brook. After turning the brook into a morass in their greed for water, they had literally thrown themselves into feeding.

The spirited beating of Chai’s hooves turned his head, and a little smile hovered across his lips. He still was amused by Lilyah’s unusual sight. She had veiled herself completely, had unfolded her numerous drapes and wraps to bewildering widths that he had never thought possible with the light fabrics – and had practically disappeared beneath them. As she pulled up Chai next to him, all he could see from her were her hands and a pair of dark eyes, and the latter ones were shaded by a golden chainlet dangling between them, fastening the lower part of the veiling to the upper part. Amazing enough, she still managed to appear fragile and delicate in all those layers.

“And what stagecoach are we going to rob?” he asked cheekily.

A chuckle came from below the veil. “At least I’m free of dust and sand – unlike a certain young man who keeps on scratching himself for hours now because he has his shirt full of it!”

Adam laughed and rested his hand that unconsciously had been scratching his chest. His shirt wasn’t the only thing full of dust. They had driven the herd for hours and hours through extremely dry terrain; and the grime whirled up by cattle and horses had found its way into every possible opening. He felt dust on his skin, dust in his nose, dust in his ears, dust between his teeth. Their horses looked almost the same color and the fine embroiderings on Lilyah’s wraps had vanished under a greyish-brownish layer.

“I begin to see the advantages of Arab attire…” he admitted.

“It was made for the desert.” Her eyes smiled at him before she gazed over the cattle. “Isn’t it a wonderful sight to see them eating away so contentedly? After they’ve been so hungry?”

“Yeah, it sure is!” His smile reflected hers as he watched her from the side. She had done her fair share of the work. Even though she had dutifully obliged to her ten-yard-distance, she had tirelessly ridden alongside the herd, galloping back and forth and in a sense actually been of good use to him since the cattle had shied from both her snappy horse and her wide flowing robes. His smile deepened. Not quite the kind of pastime one would normally have with a young lady…

“A good feeling indeed!” he affirmed and stretched out his hand to tug at the veil covering half her face. “Since we’ll be staying here for the night, I’d say no further dust storms are to be feared.”

Lilyah chuckled and took off the lower face veil, holding it as far away as she could before shaking it. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” she quipped upon the cloud of dirt welling up from the light silk.

“You’ve got rings under your eyes!” Adam grinned, his thumb gently brushing away the dust rings that had settled at the edge where the veil had been.

“Your compliments could use some refining lately.” The twinkle in her eyes revealed the joshing in her remark. “Besides, you should have a look in the mirror!”

Adam laughed, put his leg down and wheeled the mare around. “Come on, let’s take care of ourselves – maybe we can find a spot at the brook that’s not been trampled.”

They found a suitable spot and began to make camp, brushing and caring for their horses before taking care of themselves.

“Hey!” Laughing, Adam took a jump backwards as she shook out her veils again. “I’m dirty enough!”

“I’ve got to get the dust out!” She resolutely hung two of the veils into the overhanging branches of a tree and turned around to him. “I guess you’d like to shake out your clothes, as well! You can do it behind these veils and I won’t look.”

“Good idea…” He did not move, watching her crouching next to the small brook and washing her face, while the brown and amber colored veils softly moved in the wind right next to her. It was a lovely picture, and his eyes began to shine. “Amber!” he said. “Not purple.”

“What?” Lilyah looked up.

“The sails. They must have been amber, and not purple.”

She gave him a slightly confused look. “What sails?”

Adam moved his hand in an effusive manner and began reciting, in a soft, velvety baritone,
“The barge she sat in, like a burnished throne,
Burnt on the water. The poop was beaten gold,
Amber the sails, and so perfumed that
The winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver,
Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made
The water which they beat to follow faster,
As amorous of their strokes. For her own person,
It beggar’d all description: she did lie
In her pavilion – cloth of gold, of tissue –
O’er-picturing that Venus where we see
The fancy outwork nature.”

“Oh…” She had blushed, but her bashful smile told all too clearly how deeply she had enjoyed his words. “Is it Shakespeare?”

“Hm.” He nodded his head in affirmation.

“I don’t know this piece – I’d love you to read it to me…”

“Oh, I…” His eyebrows shot up as he feigned innocence. “I’m afraid I don’t have this play in my collection – and unfortunately, I only remember a few parts of it…” The truth was more that he would never make it through‘Antony and Cleopatra’ without bursting out laughing – thanks to an unforgotten San Francisco actress and his very own Queen Cleopatra straight from Morocco. “Besides, we’re reading ‘Walden’, aren’t we?”

Lilyah’s eyes narrowed as she studied his overly angelic expression, the dancing sparks in his eyes that so vividly spoke of his hidden amusement. “You’d better run and dust yourself off before I figure out what you’re so secretly snickering about!”

Laughter broke from his chest and he performed a gallant bow. “On your command, my queen!” Before she could react, he had hastily disappeared behind the veils.

Lilyah smiled to herself. She would forever prefer his humour and his joshing to the dreaded shadows that could so easily darken the light in his eyes.
* * *

 

Adam had a last controlling look on the herd. The sun had long set, the diffuse twilight of the dusk began turning into darkness. By now, most of the animals had laid down, devotedly chewing their cud. A few steadfast ones were still grazing, chawing on the grass as if they just couldn’t get enough of it. Understandably so, considering the hunger they had been through. His eyes glided to their horses, standing close to the large boulders next to which they had made their camp. Lilyah had assured him that Chai would not go on any cattle chase again without being told, and he could only hope that this would be true. But the stallion appeared calm and was most likely tired after a long day’s running. Adam let out a silent sigh. By this time, they should have reached the lake – and he would have shown her the wide grassy meadows that were so very suited to have big, spacious pastures there.

Brushing the thought away, Adam returned to the fireplace and sat down next to Lilyah who just put a few more branches into the low, smouldering flames. She had learned well how to build a fire, and her coffee tasted better than his own. Only her cooking attempts had defied any improvement so far – and the mere notion of this brought a twinkle back in his eye.

“Will you read from ‘Walden’?” she asked.

“No, too dark to read already…” Adam made himself comfortable. “It’s your turn, anyway!”

“Alright.” She leaned against his shoulder. “Where did I stop?”

“The beautiful Amina couldn’t forget the jinn prince. And she kept asking her magic camel about its feet…”

“Ah…” Lilyah nestled into his arm that so warmly embraced her. “It was a golden sunny morning when Nuura replied with the voice that the enchanted waters had given her. ‘My feet are healed, o beautiful Amina’ she said. And Amina put the attoush on the camel’s back, and they slipped from under the soldiers’ eyes…”

“Uhm…” Adam raised an eyebrow. “How could they slip so easily? I mean, the evil soldiers had been guarding the palace day and night?”

She furrowed her brows, but the glaring lapsus in the story did not bother her any further. “Allah made them fall asleep!”

“Oh, of course…”

“And the camel went farther and farther without stopping, through deserts and valleys, mountains and jungles, until they finally reached the land of the jinns…”

Adam rested his cheek on her head and smiled.
* * *

 

Lilyah rapidly halted Chai and turned in the saddle as she heard the sharp whistle, saw Adam in the distance raising his hand, barely visible in the dust whirled up by the herd. It was her sign to immediately stop whatever she was doing and close up to him. Creasing her forehead, she turned the stallion on the haunches and nudged him into a canter. As far as she could tell, everything had been going smoothly; for a couple of hours now the herd had been moving steadily in the brooding heat of this rather hot afternoon.

“Did I get too close?” she asked, pulling up next to Adam.

“No, in fact, you did fine!” His hand pointed forward. “Do you see that group of trees at the top of that hill? On the other side we’ll be reaching the northern pasture. That’s where the main herd is standing.” He looked at her. “I want you to stay close to my side from now on.”

“Alright.” A tinge of bewilderment lingered in her voice. Adam appeared very matter-of-fact, almost taciturn, and yet resigned, as if deep inside he was regretting something. Only a few hours ago he had been so relaxed, content even after picking up another dozen strays on the way, laughing and joshing with her. Maybe the blaring heat began to affect his mood; she had well observed how often he had scratched his dust-covered skin, how often he had buttoned up his shirt just to open it again. His face under the hat was dampened with sweat and crusted with dust. One could really tell that Americans were descendants from Europe – no other people would venture in such climate with such inappropriate clothes. A loose fitting djellaba and a generous turban would protect him so much better from heat and dust. But the previous day had been equally hot and dusty and it had not affected him in the same manner, she even had won the impression that he loved what he was doing. There had to be something else bothering him.

He seemed to sense her silent thoughts, for his face suddenly softened. Maneuvering Mariah closer to Chai, he bowed over to her, one finger tugging at the edges of her face veil, not letting go until he had managed to make it fall. “Just wanna make sure it’s still you under there…” he murmured and kissed her.

Her hand gently caressed his neck as she lovingly responded. His lips were dry and she could taste the dust on his skin, but she also sensed a yearning inside of him that seemed in no relation to his joking words. Deep inside of him, she could feel the shadows raising their heads again. Overwhelmed by sudden emotion, she closed her arms around him and kissed him with all the passion erupting from her heart, as if her kisses could keep everything that ever might hurt him away, as if she could build a shield around him. With his arms holding her even tighter than she was clinging to him, she was almost lifted from her saddle as the horses moved. For a moment she caught the look in his eyes, a mixture of deep tenderness and slight wonderment, and she felt her cheeks blushing to flaming red upon the unrestricted outburst of pure passion she had allowed herself to exhibit. At the same time, she felt the strongest emotion swelling her heart, so much that it caused tears in her eyes. She loved, loved, loved him…

“It’s you alright…” He cupped her face in his hand, his head so close to hers that the brim of his hat rubbed over her head. “It’s you…”

As tenderly as before, he tucked the veil back in place, watched as she bashfully fastened it until only her eyes were to be seen. “Now come on…” he said softly. “One more mile of dust and we’re rid of them!”

She nodded her head, thankful for his gentle chivalry. Taking up Chai’s reins, she followed him to the trees on top of the hill.
* * *

 

The cattle knew no stopping after they had crossed the hill and poured down the slope to run to the giant herd grazing on the large plain below.

“Adam, this is…” Lilyah searched for words. Never in her life had she seen a herd as large as that. Not her father’s horses, not Uncle Ali’s camels, not the herds of sheep and goats that were common in her home country. There must be thousands of cows, spreading over the immense plain like an ocean of bodies. She saw numerous cowboys riding around, immediately taking care of the small herd of strays. It was an awkward feeling to see the cattle that she and Adam had driven for two days now melting into this vast herd, one by one, until they all were gone. She tried to make them out in the mass, but it was to no avail.

“A dime for your thoughts…” Adam had cocked his head, trying to study her eyes.

“Our cows…” She shrugged her small shoulders. “It’s like they disappeared…”

A soft chortle came from his chest, but his eyes didn’t laugh. “That’s the way it is on a big ranch like that. In the end, all that’s left are numbers. Mere numbers.”

She looked up to his face. His voice almost sounded as if he regretted the fact he had stated.

“We’ve been spotted!” His chin curtly pointed to a small group of mounted riders assembled next to a wagon a couple of furlongs away. “Wonder what he’s doing out here.”

Lilyah looked over to the five riders, one of which was Ben Cartwright. She also recognized an elderly man, even though she needed a moment to recall who he was. Sheriff Coffee – she had met him in town with Joe.

“Come on.” Adam nudged the mare into a trot and rode to the group, leaving her no choice but to follow him.

“Hello Adam!” The sheriff was the first to greet them. “Miss Lilyah…” He politely tipped his hat.

“Miss.” An older man with a broad red face also tipped his hat. The younger man next to him pulled his hat off his head and performed a bow in the saddle. He had strikingly light blond hair and his elegant suit stood in stark contrast to the plain and rustic clothes his father wore. “Miss Lilyah.”

“Miss Lilyah is a guest of our house, the daughter of an old friend.” Ben Cartwright glanced over her appearance and she was immediately self-conscious of her dusty and wrinkled robes, the dust-covered coat of her horse and the fact that all the colorful tassles and fineries on his tack were dirtied.

“Miss Lilyah, these are our good friends and neighbors, the Millers.” Ben indicated the man with the red face. “Henry Miller and his son Frank. You already met Sheriff Coffee, I believe, and this is Ed Bannings, one of our cowboys.” He pointed to the fifth man who sat on his horse opposite of the four others, as if he didn’t belong to them and had just been summoned for a report or something similar. He mutely tipped his hat.

Lilyah felt increasingly uncomfortable with all those men looking at her. She was a very proud and free woman, she was used to riding with her father’s herds of horses like a son would have done; she was even used to roaming the land on her own to her heart’s delight. But at home she had been the sheikh’s daughter, and no man would ever have dared to look her in the face like this. She still assumed a very straight and proud posture, held her head high, but she was glad that she wore the veil. Deliberately causing Chai to dance, she inconspicuously motioned him a few yards backwards, behind Adam’s big mare.

“What’s the reason for this assembly?” Adam looked from one to another. “Anything wrong?”

“You can say so!” The sheriff weighed his head. “It’s Lew Benson!”

“Benson?”

“Yes, Benson! The man whom you entrusted with the Eastgate herd!” Ben Cartwright’s black eyes seemed to pierce his son. “He sold the herd and took off with the money!”

Adam was visibly taken aback, his eyes narrowed. “I can’t believe that…”

“You better believe it, son,” Ben retorted. “Had it not been for Frank here, we would have lost more than 4000 dollars!”

“How’s that?” Adam regarded the blond young man from slit eyes.

“I got suspicious after I met him short of Lake’s Crossing.” Frank Miller began. “I knew from Ben that you had made him trail boss, so I was of course surprised to see him there, when it’s certainly not on the way from Eastgate to the Ponderosa. He told me he was headed for Sacramento, and when I asked him about the herd, he attacked me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I regret very much that I had to kill him. I tried to wing him to bring him in, but he almost shot me. I really wanted to get him alive, so he would’ve had to stand trial for his theft.”

“You had no choice, Frank!” Ben nodded to him. “You did what you could and you brought the money back. That’s more than anyone could’ve asked from you.”

“Thanks, Ben. I appreciate your understanding.” He reined in his horse, even though the palomino he rode had barely moved. Lilyah’s eyes glided from the excessively long and heavy curb bit shanks the poor horse had to bear to the richly decorated silver spurs at the man’s boots. She also noted the broken look in the horse’s eyes and her lips, hidden under the veil, twisted in contempt of its rider.

Adam shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe what he had heard. “Where were the other hands?”

“Back in Eastgate,” the sheriff replied. “That’s why I’m here. I wanted to take Bannings’ account to round up the picture, and it adds up just fine.”

Adam’s gaze slowly wandered to the sturdy cowboy who had not spoken a word yet.

The cowboy scratched his nose. “As I told the sheriff, Lew left Eastgate alone. He’d paid us our money and we decided to spend the night and maybe some more days and have some fun. He insisted on riding back, even though it was getting dark. And he rode alone.” He shrugged his shoulders. “He’s always been a loner, no one really knew much about him. Never talked much, that feller.”

“He always had something about him that I didn’t like.” Frank Miller chimed in.

Adam took a deep breath. “Pa, Lew Benson worked for us for eleven years. He was one of the first hands that came from the Eagle Station ranch to work on the Ponderosa. I would have trusted him with my life.”

“Yeah, you sure would.” Ben’s face had gotten dark. “You’ve had some other serious errors in judgment lately. Thinking of Tom Wilson here, or Howard Meade. You trusted them, as well.”

Adam stiffened and bit his lower lip.

“Oh yeah, Howard Meade!” Frank Miller shook his head. “In the end, he killed that poor German farmer – what was his name? Brommer?”

“That was uncalled for, Frank!” A sharp voice cut in. The broad rugged face of the older Miller revealed real anger. “And as far as I recall, you also had your share of false friends. Wasn’t it Adam who saved your hide when things got bad with them?”

For the shortest moment the blond man pressed his lips together but then his features changed to a rueful smile. “Of course, Dad, and I won’t ever forget that. It’s just that I know quite well how easy it is to fall for such people.”

“Adam…” The older Miller bowed forward. “No one can really look into a man’s head. We’ve all had to learn that, in one way or another. And we all made our mistakes; it happens to the best of us.”

“Four thousand dollars is a large sum of money.” Sheriff Coffee heaved a sigh. “Reckon temptation was just too big for Lew Benson!”

Adam knitted his brows, his jaw worked. Lilyah watched his hands tensing and stretching, vividly speaking of his inner turmoil.

“Well, it happened and we can’t change it. And of course you’re right, Henry. No one can look into a man’s head.” Ben turned to the sheriff. “Roy, do you need anything more?”

“No, I’m done here.” Sheriff Coffee turned his horse. “I’ll ride back into town and write my report.”

“Don’t forget our party on Saturday!” Ben cried. “I hope that for once you can make it!”

“I’ll do my best!” The sheriff tipped his hat again. “Miss Lilyah… Adam, I’ll see you!” He rode off.

“Going back to my work.” The cowboy also tipped his hat to Lilyah and cantered back to the herd.

“I’m really looking forward to your party!” Frank Miller broke into a smile, gazing over Lilyah. “With hopes that we can see the lady without her veils!”

“Most certainly so!” Ben turned to his son. “Adam, I know how you must feel. But as Henry said, we all make mistakes. And Frank brought the money back, so we at least have no financial loss through it. I’d say we put that behind us now.” He stretched himself in the saddle to glance at the herd. “I saw that you brought a good amount of strays home! That’s good! Really good!”

Adam gave him an almost exasperated look. “Yah.”

“Why don’t we all ride over to our ranch and have some refreshment?” Frank Miller obviously tried to ease the tension that still lingered about. “It’s closer than the Ponderosa, and I think the lady would enjoy a sniff of civilization now. We have just acquired a most delicious cognac, imported from France!”

“That’s the word!” Ben beamed.

Lilyah stiffened beneath her veils. She certainly would not enojy being present in a round of men drinking cognac and hoped sincerely that Adam wouldn’t accept the invitation.

Adam seemed to have sensed her reservations. “I’m sorry, I’d prefer to ride home and have a bath!” He wheeled Mariah around. “Lilyah…”

She gladly followed him as he nudged the mare into a canter and rode off without looking back.
* * *

 

 

 

31. Much Ado 

“Hey, Adam! Hey, Lily!” Little Joe Cartwright let go of the saw’s handle and ran onto the yard. “Gosh, where’ve you two been? Crawled through a dust storm?”

“Joe! Dadburnit!” It took Hoss some effort to get the double-handled saw out of the half-sawn wood block after his younger brother had jumped off. The sight of his older brother riding into the yard, however, made the pile of timber to saw fade from his mind as quickly as it had faded from Little Joe’s. Deep inside, he registered with some surprise how relieved he was to see him return at all. “Hey, Adam!”

Adam dismounted close to the corral and gallantly helped Lilyah from the saddle.

Little Joe was nearly hopping with curiosity. “Hey, I know you two are not much of the ‘picnic in the churchyard’ kind, but – where in tarnation have you been?”

“Drove some strays down from Grady’s Slopes,” Adam remarked casually and unfastened the leathers of his saddle. “About fifty head.” He thrust the saddle across the rack.

“Fif… from…” Joe’s eyes widened as he looked to Lilyah. “With her?”

“Sure.” Adam raised an eyebrow in mock haughtiness and turned to help Lilyah unsaddle the stallion. “She was a great help for me, in fact, she’s a natural. Quite amazing!”

“Aw…” Joe was at a loss for words. He knew Lilyah was a good rider, but driving cattle?

“Wow…” Hoss exclaimed in awe, regarding the small woman in amazement.

Lilyah was about to tone down Adam’s words as she caught the barely perceptible shake of his head, the stealthily, conspirative wink of his eye. Biting down her amusement, she unbridled Chai. With all of the dark brooding that had captured him during their ride from the pasture to the ranch, he still couldn’t resist to josh his brothers. It made her heart smile, even though his shaded brow indicated that the news he had heard was still troubling him.

His brothers seemed to sense it, as well.

“You drove them to the main herd?” Joe asked hesitantly. “To the northern pasture?”

“Yah.” Adam well noticed the quick look his brothers exchanged. “And yes, I’ve heard about Lew Benson.”

“Darn thing, that,” Hoss grumbled. “Never would’ve thought that of ol’ Lew, and I done told Pa exactly that!”

“Yeah!” Joe nodded his head. “I would’ve trusted him, as well. I mean, he worked for us, like, forever.”

“Sure did!” Hoss propped out his chin. “Pa himself would’ve trusted him had he been in that situation and he’ll dang sure come to see that once he’s calmed down a tad!”

A fleeting smile stole over Adam’s lips. It was a good feeling that his brothers stood behind him. Never the one to show his emotions all too prominently, he turned to get the horse brushes. “One of you could do us a favor and ask Hop Sing to prepare a bath!”

Both his brothers’ faces lit up, not so much for the request but for Adam’s apparent willingness to not delve on the dreaded Benson matter – a matter that could easily drive the wedge between him and their father even deeper.

“Alright, I’ll go!” Joe was on the verge of going, but stopped again. “Hey, how did Mariah do?”

“Great!” Adam smiled and patted the mare’s side. “She’s a fantastic roper, and an equally fine cutter – a wonderful horse!”

“Hah! Didn’t I tell ya?” Joe laughed. “Thanks to my extensive ranch work tests that we’ve picked such a fine horse for you! I recognized her potential at once!” He noticed Lilyah’s hidden smile and added, “We both did, of course!” He did a couple of steps to the house and whirled around again. “But Adam – you do know that you’ll always have to call her by her full name to get the best out of her, do you?”

Hoss’s face broke into a grin – clearly depicting that he already knew the mare’s long official name.

“Wait, I’ll demonstrate!” Joe jumped a few yards off and called out, “Santa Maria Siesta Sonora… err… Castagnetta… no… wait…” He began fingering in his pockets, obviously having some troubles that caused him to hop on the spot.

Hoss shook his head. “Told you them pants are too dang tight to squeeze a coin in…”

“Got it!” Joe finally fingered out a slip of paper and snickered before he began to sing out loud, “Santa Maria Nuestra Señora de las Lagrimas de la Castanueva y Zahaaaaaraaaaaaa – come heeeeeeheeeere!”

“Whoooohoooo!” Hoss roared out with laughter and hammered his thighs, while Joe cackled and crowed, squealing even louder as the mare turned her head to him.

“Hey-hey, see? She… she…” He barely got the words out for laughing so hard, grabbing Hoss’s shoulder for support. “She knows her name!”

“It really doesn’t take much to entertain you two, does it?” Adam couldn’t help a chuckle at his brothers’ laughter and approached Joe. “Let me see that!” He took the note and read it, throwing an amused glance at the big beautiful mare. “‘Nuestra Señora de las Lagrimas – Our Lady of the Tears’. Yeah, and tears I cried…”

“Ah, forget it!” Joe gasped for air after his laughing fit. “The only ones crying tears will be those trailing you in the Founder’s Day Race!”

“I have no intention…” Adam did not get any further.

“But Adam, that’ll be a thousand dollars!” Joe grabbed his brother by the shirt, his green eyes glittering. “Adam, you’ve got a winner here! She’ll beat every horse in the Comstock, bah, what do I say? She’ll beat every horse in the Territory! Hah! That’ll be a thousand dollars for the win, and we can make even more when I arrrange the bets! He, he! I’ve already worked it all out! Listen, Adam, we…”

“Joe…” Adam clasped his brother’s wrists to save his shirt from further dilapidation. “It’s months until Founder’s Day – so tone it down or you’ll run out of steam before it’s here.”

“Lil’ Joe an’ runnin’ out of steam…” Hoss muttered under his breath. “That’s what we’re dreamin’ of…”

“But, Adam! Hoss, you’ll be…”

“I’ll be helpin’ you go tell Hop Sing.” Hoss grabbed his little brother by the scruff and pushed him into the direction of the house. “And we’re gonna help him some, so Adam and the little lady can have their bath ready in no time!”

“But, Hoss…” It didn’t help Joe anything – Hoss determinately dragged him to the house, completely unaffected by his wildly gesticulating kid brother’s elaborate plans to make a fortune.

Adam chuckled and turned to his mare, throwing Lilyah an amused glance. “Brothers!”

Lilyah smiled and continued to brush the dust off of Chai’s black coat. If she had ever needed a reason to love his brothers, this was one. They had made him smile again.
* * *

 

“Alright, we’ll forget about the first trout… oh, thanks, Hop Sing!” Adam took a sip of his coffee before he put the cup down and leaned back into the settee. His hazel eyes sparkled with laughter. “But you should’ve tasted the second one she prepared!” He smacked his lips. “Exquisitely done, just the right touch to it, so soft that it melted like butter in your mouth – well, at least the small part between the raw and the burnt side. Thin and tiny as it was…”

Hoss and Joe burst out laughing, while Lilyah’s hand shot forward to pinch him in the side. Laughing, he caught her wrist, flashing her the sweetest smile he could muster. “But it really was good!” he assured cheekily. “Just a bit complicated to extricate…”

Lilyah couldn’t help but laugh herself. He was so relaxed after his bath, clad in fresh clothes, clean shaven, his black hair still damp from washing, his eyes smiling as he joshed with his brothers. For the first time, she felt no shadows in the house that was his home, and for the first time, she herself felt really comfortable in the great room downstairs. Sitting next to him on the settee, with her legs bent aside her like she was used to at home, she did not even feel discomfort for the peach-colored silk gown she wore, a dress that actually was meant to be worn in women’s rooms only. She didn’t have much of a choice, though – as Hop Sing had prepared the bath in the small room next to the dining space, it had been Adam who had fetched it from her room for her to wear. Not without a sly smile when he told her that he would just love to see it on her. And ever since he had sat down beside her, his long fingers covertly kept on playing with a fringe of the wide shawl that belonged to it.

“Joe…” She turned to the youngest Cartwright who lounged in his father’s red armchair, one leg over the armrest and one foot on the table. “Would you please tell the story again in which Hoss threw Adam into the water trough? I so enjoyed it…”

“Hey!” Adam sat up, his eyes darting from one to another. “I was never thrown into the trough!”

“Sure thing you were, older brother!” Hoss laughed through a mouthful of his sandwich, grinning as he leaned back in the blue armchair. “And hasn’t it plum been the dangest biggest splash you’d ever seen?”

“Yeah!!” Joe cackled out. “Sure looked like it was raining!”

“No, no, no…” Adam began, but his protest was drowned in the laughter around him.

They were so absorbed in laughing and joshing that they all flinched when the door flung open and Ben Cartwright entered the house.

“Hey, Pa!” Hoss produced an innocent grin. “We’re just having some coffee…”

“I can see that!” Ben took off his gun belt and placed it on the credenza. His voice was a rumbling thunder. “Just as I could see a large pile of unsawn timber next to an abandoned saw – but nary a trace of chopped wood at the place where the firewood is supposed to be!”

Joe pulled an uncomfortable face. “Pa, we…”

“Joseph, feet on the floor! We don’t have our feet on the furniture in this house!”

“Yes, Sir…” Joe obliged and sat up.

Lilyah also stiffened, slowly changing her position to put down her legs. She wasn’t sure if he had even seen her, but she certainly remembered her mother’s strong disapproval of the usual Arab manner of reclining, her disdain against pillows and cushions on the floor which she had deemed barbaric and uncivilized. She felt Adam’s hand on her arm and saw that the laughter had vanished from his face; and she fervently wished she would not be where she was.

“I thought I’d made myself clear that I wanted that timber to be sawn and chopped by my return!” Ben glowered over his sons. “And I would vastly appreciate it if the gentlemen could possibly go back to it – at once! Right now!”

“Yes, Sir.” Hoss hastily got up and followed his youngest brother who was already scrurrying to the door.

“Hop Sing, I’d like just a coffee.” Ben came around the settee and stopped at his red armchair. “Adam, one word…”

“I’ll go to my room.” Lilyah attempted to get up when she felt Adam’s hand squeezing her arm.

“Oh no, please stay!” Ben sat down in his armchair. “It’s no secret… thanks, Hop Sing.” He placed the cup the Chinese cook had offered him on the table. “Adam, I’m sorry I brought up Howard Meade and Tom Wilson – that wasn’t necessary. I know you’ve felt you’ve been in an emergency situation, and this understandably obscured your judgment. I know you’d never have done it otherwise. Let’s just forget about it, after all, thanks to young Miller, we had no loss!”

Adam heaved a deep breath. He did not reply, yet his darkened eyes and restless face revealed that there were unspoken words he kept back.

“You really have a friend in Frank Miller, Adam,” Ben proceeded. “He’s a fine young man, and he made sure that Hatfield won’t ever think of harming you again!”

Adam knitted his brow. “How so?” he curtly asked.

“By simply letting him know that we know who was behind the ambush – and that we’d all be after him in case anything like this happens again!”

“Hatfield admitted to it?”

“Of course not!” Ben laughed. “But his demeanor spoke volumes!”

Adam did not reply.

“I’m certainly glad you returned in time for the party.” Ben seemed almost in a haste to leave the subject behind. “I’ve rented a small ensemble that will play for us! That brings me to another subject… Miss Lilyah, have you already made up your mind what to wear to your first American party?”

“Oh…” She unconsciously wrapped her shawl closer around her. “No, Mr. Cartwright…”

“But you should!” Ben took a sip of his coffee. “I understand as much that you don’t have any appropriate dresses on hand, and…”

Adam’s head snapped up. “There’s nothing inappropriate about Lilyah’s dresses!”

“Of course not…” Ben raised his eyebrows and did his best to not scan over the flowing Oriental robe she once again wore. “But I reckon that a beautiful young lady wishes to wear an equally beautiful dress to her first party. And be it just to compete with the other young ladies.”

Adam’s eyes narrowed, his hand casually touched the part of the shawl that was spread over the settee. “I pretty much doubt you could find any silk as precious and exquisite like this in the whole Comstock. It’ll rather be the other young ladies that will find it hard to compete!”

Lilyah almost squirmed. Apparently he did not have the slightest idea that the gown he had picked was not meant to be worn in front of strangers. At least not without an appropriate amount of decent veils going along with it. Right now, she felt like she was wearing a night gown, and it made her feel uncomfortable. And worst of all was that she found herself in the middle of another erupting tension between father and son.

Ben tried a laugh. “But of course, of course! Now, to get to the point, I have a suggestion.” He looked from one to another as if he was about to make the most wonderful declaration. “Miss Lilyah, as an old friend of your dear mother, I would consider it an honor to drive you to Virginia City tomorrow and get you the most beautiful dress you can find! There are a row of very well sorted lady’s garment shops in Virginia City; I think Madame Estelle has the best reputation.”

Adam opened his mouth for a sharp reply as Lilyah shyly made herself heard.

“That’s very generous of you, Mr. Cartwright, but Adam has already promised to take me to town for this.”

“Oh, did he?” Ben exclaimed, while Adam’s face froze to a mask in order not to reveal his complete astoundment. It certainly was the first thing he had heard about it.

“Hm, yes…” Lilyah looked down on her hands.

“Good!” There was undeniable relief in Ben’s voice. “It’s Friday tomorrow, and you’ll have all day to look around. I’m sure you’ll find something pretty!” He let out a satisfied laugh. “Adam, I really should’ve known that you’ve already thought of that!”

“Yah, I’m… prescient.” Adam dedicated himself to his coffee.

Ben chortled and leaned back. “Anyhow, it’s good to have you back, son, we’ve really been missing you on the Ponderosa. Barney Fuller was the only one glad to see you gone, but his relief didn’t last for long after he saw your changes to his contract!” He clapped his hands together and laughed. “Boy, you’ve really nailed him, but he had to accept!”

Adam forced himself to a smile and thought that while he had ridden out to make up his mind and come to a decision, he had actually come to nothing – and was stuck at the very same spot as before.

Ben, on the other hand, couldn’t keep from noticing his son’s fingers thoughtlessly playing with the fringes of Lilyah’s wide Oriental shawl, and he couldn’t keep from pondering how far this relationship might have gone in the meanwhile. While he was somewhat relieved that Adam still did not come out with any definite announcement, he had the sinking feeling that things might have gone too far to be reversed.
* * *

 

“Lil…” Adam placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her around to him, just as she was about to enter her room upstairs. “About the dress – you don’t have to wear an American dress if you don’t want to, or don’t feel comfortable wearing one. I love the dresses you have – each one of them – and for the party, I would’ve loved you to wear that beautiful dark red robe of yours! It’s so precious and just suits you so wonderfully. You look like a fairy queen in it!”

Her dark eyes smiled at him. “It’s alright. If it makes your father happy, it might be better to wear one, and be it just for the party.” Her hand touched his arm. “I only hope you’ll like it as much as the red robe…”

“We’ll do our best to find something that comes close – and the red robe will be reserved for our ride on Sunday!” A dimple deepened in his cheek. “Go ahead, I’ll get my guitar!”

“Oh, yes!” She broke into a smile. “I’ve so missed it…”
* * *

 

“Hoss!” Adam approached his brother who was busy harnessing a team to the buckboard. “You’ll be going to Virginia City, by any chance?”

“Might take awhile…” Hoss closed a buckle. “Headin’ for Carson City first, then to Virginia City, gettin’ some supplies before gettin’ back here. Why are ya askin’?”

“You could pick up something for me from Madame Estelle…”

“Madame who?” Hoss made round eyes, but then squinted at his brother with his brows bristling, a look of uncertain skepticism and confused disbelief on his face. “Adam, you ain’t havin’ no troubles with no ladies from that house with all them gussied up madames, ain’t ya?”

Adam, who was headed for the corral, stopped dead in his tracks, not knowing whether to laugh or to sigh. Turning around to his brother, the expression in Hoss’s face almost cracked him up – and touched him the same time. Hoss looked genuinely worried. “Hoss, Madame Estelle is a lady’s fashion shop! Lilyah and I are going to town to get her a new dress, and since we’d prefer to take the horses, it’ll be nice if you could pick up eventual purchases.”

“Oh…” Hoss cleared his throat. “Sure thing, older brother. Never heard of that Madame Estelle, though. Where do I find her… err… it?”

“The shop is on C-Street, right opposite of the International Hotel. You can’t miss it.”

“Alright.” Hoss proceeded with the team and watched his older brother getting the two horses from the corral. The black stallion never ceased to amuse him with his constant dancing and the raised tail. Right now, he jumped into the air with all fours and shook his all too voluminous mane, and Hoss laughed into himself. A grasshopper indeed! And he looked even funnier after Adam had saddled him with all that colorful Arab tack. He smiled at Lilyah coming out of the house and wished her a nice day, watching her and Adam mount and canter off. Just as they had disappeared around the barn, his father came out of the house.

“Morning, Pa!”

“Morning…” Ben’s brow had darkened. “Don’t tell me that’ve been Adam and the lady riding out from the yard!”

“Sure’ve been!” Hoss scanned over his father’s face. “Anything wrong, Pa?”

Ben heaved a breath. “I thought they’d take the buggy – for once!”

“Nope, reckon they’d thought they’d be faster on horseback!” Hoss checked the team’s harness and came around to his father. “Adam asked me to pick up whatever they buy.”

“I’d thought he’d be wiser…” Ben’s voice was suspiciously close to a growl. “This woman already made a spectacle out of herself the first time she rode into town with that circus horse.”

“Pa…” Hoss stuffed his hands into his pockets and raised his shoulders, almost as if collecting his strength. “Adam’s in love with that little girl, up to both his ears and another yard on top of that! What does it matter if she looks a bit funny, or rides a funny horse? Or if some folks in town shoot off their mouths? The way I see it, all that counts for me is that my brother’s happy. Reckon he deserves that!”

For a moment, Ben did not know what to say. “Hoss… things aren’t always that easy…”

“Can’t see why they shouldn’t be,” Hoss retorted. “And if it gets complicated, Adam’s smart enough to sort it out.” He gave his father a reassuring grin. “And don’t ya worry none about any spectacles. The first time she was in town she was with Little Joe; that always means trouble. Now she’s with Adam and that’s a huge difference. Nothing will happen!”

Ben sighed.
* * *

 

“Lil, you can’t be serious!” Adam shook his head and stepped closer, scanning over the black dress she was fingering. “That was made for a 60 years old widow to wear in church!”

“Oh…” Lilyah let go of the fabric, her eyes aimlessly wandering around. “But I don’t like these bright and shrill colors…”

“What about this one?” Adam pointed to a scarlett red dress and took a part of it to spread it out. “This is a color that suits you well – I saw it the minute we came in!”

“You’re sure?” She doubtfully came closer. The color was indeed beautiful, but the dress looked a bit pompous – and rather low-necked.

“Absolutely!” He fingered at the hooks that held the dress to its stand; and the elderly lady with the ridiculously fake French accent immediately rushed by to take it down.

“This is tres chic!” she swooned. “This overwhelming creation is imported from France, and it is a dream, ah, ma chere, a dream! A revelation! It is like it just was made for a young mademoiselle like you, ma cherie!” She held the dress against Lilyah and burst out in a litany of praise, pointing out the fabrics, the embroidery, the lace, the cut and countless other things, while Lilyah held her breath to not suffocate in the cloud of perfume wavering around the lady. Her dark eyes wandered to Adam, literally pleading for help.

Adam stood back and smirked, but his eyes started shining. His silent discontent over the whole dress matter and the vexation about his father having more or less enforced it just vaporized into nothing. This dress was gorgeous and she would be stunningly beautiful in it. All the other women would hopelessly pale beside her.

“It’s too large…”

“Ah, ma petite, this is not a problem!” The elderly lady clapped her hands, laughing. “We’ll have it fixed for you in no time! It won’t take more than an hour, at most! We just need you to stay for the changes and the dress will be like it was made for you!”

An hour with this over-excitedly screeching lady seemed like a punishment, but Lilyah had seen the shine in Adam’s eyes and her reservations against the dress disappeared. If he loved it, she would wear it.

“An hour, you say?” Adam pulled his watch and checked the time. “That’s perfect, as I do have some small business to tend to.” He flashed a sparkling smile to the ladies. “I’ll be back in less than an hour to get you!”

Lilyah nodded her head, torn between the delightful thought that he would love her wearing this dress and the awful objective of spending a full hour in this perfume-soaked cabinet.

“May I take this?” Adam picked up a magazine from a pile that said something about hairdos on its cover. He suddenly was very enthusiastic about the subject.

“Oh, oui, oui, oui, please, Monsieur Cartwright, please help yourself!” The lady beamed and called out, “Antoinette! Suzette! There is work to do!”

Adam performed a small bow, blew Lilyah a kiss and left the shop. Outside on the street, he enjoyed a deep breath of fresh, unperfumed air and walked down the way to the bank, paging through the magazine. He was so absorbed that he didn’t look and bumped into an upcoming pedestrian. The paper fell out of his hand.

“Hey, Adam, better look where you walk!” Sheriff Coffee laughed and picked up the magazine before Adam could react. His moustache started twitching as he read. “Godey’s Lady’s Book – embroidery for French corsages… Adam, I knew you read a lot, but I had no idea…”

Adam snatched the magazine out of the sheriff’s hands and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his jacket. “It’s not for me!”

“Of course not…” The sheriff smirked. “Adam, do you have a minute? I’d like to show you something!”

“Sure, the bank can wait!”

Side by side, the two men walked down the street.
* * *

 

Chai was bored. His eyes fixed on the door through which his mistress had disappeared, he waited for her to come back and take him on another fine, long ride. Only Adam had come out, but unforgivingly had neglected him and wandered off. Slightly miffed, he bumped into Mariah, trying to get a reaction from her, but the mare merely gave him a snort and ignored him.

Nickering, Chai threw up his head and looked around when a movement caught his attention. There was another door some distance down the road, in front of which a highly interesting thing happened. A man came out and placed a big basket in front of that door, a basket filled with apples. The stallion nickered again and scratched his right front hoof over the ground, imploring the door in front of him to release his mistress. Sadly, she didn’t come out. Down the road, the apples seemed to shine in their basket – a sight that a suddenly very hungry horse just couldn’t resist. Chai turned around and decided to get himself some of those. In happy expectation, he trotted up to the enticing basket.

The apples tasted as good as they looked!

“Hey! Whose horse is that?” It was a rather unfriendly, unmelodiously shrieking voice. “Billy, get that horse off the porch!”

“Yes, Mr. Cass, I’ll do what I can!”

Chai hated to be touched by strangers. He half reared, his head snapped forward and the impertinent person that had been dragging at him fell to the ground.

“Mr. Cass, he bit me!”

Chai snorted in anger as someone came running and took the basket with the apples away.

“Git, git! Off you go!” A broom was waved in front of him. “Git!!”

“Hey, Blacky, where do you come from… HEY!!”

Chai kicked out with both hind legs and heard another person falling down behind him.

More people assembled around, but his anger eased as he realized that they respectfully kept their distance, no doubt admiring and adoring him. Full of his own glory, the stallion proudly collected himself and posed in front of his audience, dancing on the spot and shaking his long mane as he used to do when he was presented to spectators. By now, he had recognized the building in front of him as a shop. Chai knew shops all too well, his mistress had often taken him to such places. Very soon, the shop owner would rush out to bring him a bucket of water and handfuls of yummy treats, while bowing to his mistress and praising his beauty.

Chai waited. Patiently. For almost half a minute. It seemed that this particular shop owner was a bit slow in the uptake. Maybe he was just searching for the best treats. Chai certainly had deserved them after showing his finest postures to the audience. The stallion drew closer, stretching his neck and trying to get a look into the inside of the door. His wide nostrils fluttered as he sucked in a wave of delicious scents. In eager anticipation, he gave a commanding nicker and scratched the dust with one hoof.

The shop owner still didn’t show up.

With an angry snort, the stallion tossed his head and slammed his front hooves into the ground.

Still no treats.

Chai decided to help himself.
* * *

 

Ben Cartwright reined in his buckskin as he heard a woman scream, his mouth fell open as he regarded the ruckus in front of Will Cass’s mercantile store. But the one thing that hit him like a hammer was the backside of a black horse just disappearing inside the shop – a black horse with an unmistakable, distinctively high-set tail. He could also catch a glimpse of a colorful, tassle-decorated saddle.

“Fire and brimstone…” Kicking his horse into a gallop, he rushed to the scene and dismounted, fighting his way through the assembled citizens and into the shop.

“Alright, alright, everyone calm down, I’ll take care of this!” Ben hollered, his blood already boiling with rage. Of course it was the black Arabian who just examined the candy jars on the counter, completely unfazed by Cass’s wildly waving hands and his increasingly hysterical ‘Gits’. And no trace of Adam or his consort!

“Oh, Benjamin! ‘ow good to see you! It’s a wild ‘orse in ‘ere!”

Before Ben could react, the well-known widow Clementine Hawkins clung to his chest, shrieking into his ears. He saw a couple of other petrified elderly ladies, hiding behind stands and shelves.

“Ladies, ladies, please, do calm down, there is no danger, I’ve got it all under control!” He tried what he could to get the widow’s hands off of him without using force. On his other side, another lady grasped at him for support.

In the meanwhile, the black stallion had a problem himself – having forced his muzzle into a large bowl filled with sugar toffees, his nose was stuck in the glass. Jumping up with all fours, the stallion’s backside banged into a stand with bottles and jars and wrecked it, while he tossed his head with the stuck bowl and crashed it against a shelf, spreading a shower of glass splinters and sugar toffees all around. The ladies screeched in unison.

“Ben! Do something!” Will Cass waved his arms up and down, his mouth snapped open and shut like a fish out of water. “Do something!!”

Ben boldly charged forward to grab the reins; the stallion bucked up and crashed his hind legs into a shelf full of porcelain. At the same time, he rammed his head against Ben’s chest and threw him across the shop. Ben frantically fought for his balance, but lost it and stumbled backwards – right into four pairs of helpful arms that kept him from crashing on the floor.

“Ducky, I’ve got you! Take a ‘old of me! I’m ‘ere for you!”

“Oh dear Lord, Mr. Cartwright, have you hurt yourself?”

Ben tried to get back on his feet, but slipped on a puddle of spilled juice, flailing his arms for balance and accidently falling into one of the elderly ladies, while the all too helpful Widow Hawkins landed on him. He felt his ears burning like fire and his face turning to deepest crimson. “Oh, Miss Ophelia, I’m terribly sorry… Clementine, wait, I’ll help you… Miss Augusta, thanks… Thank you, Miss Emilia… Miss Ophelia, let me help you… Clementine, please…”

“Chai, behave yourself!”

The stallion nickered happily as his mistress entered the shop.

“What are you doing with my horse?” Lilyah took an incredulous look around.

Ben felt like he was on the verge of exploding. Still busily brushing off the many hands tugging and patting on him, he forced himself to calmness. He couldn’t tell her what was on his mind, as it was likely to push his trouble with his oldest son to a new height again. It made him furious that she still didn’t bother to keep that obnoxious horse under control. He saw the skeptical looks of the ladies scrutinizing the outlandish appearance in front of them and he could not even blame them. Once again, she looked as if she had just stepped out of a painting depicting an Oriental bazaar. It didn’t help any that she stood there with that colorfully dolled-up circus horse in the middle of all the wreckage.

“Who’s going to pay for the damage?” Cass whined. “That horse has ruined my shop!”

“He’s bitten a hole in my vest!” The young man standing next to him complained.

Ben drew a deep breath through the nose. “You can put it all on Adam’s account!”

“Adam does not have an account here!” The shop owner snapped. “He hasn’t set a foot in my store for three years now!”

Lilyah straightened herself and raised her chin. “I’ll pay…” She didn’t get to finish the sentence.

“And he’s never retracted the lies he told about us!” The young man cut in with an offended voice. “Treats us like he’s something better than us! Looks through us like we’re thin air!”

Ben sighed. He had almost forgotten about that unfortunate story. “Billy, that’s an old story, and long gone by. We shouldn’t keep on warming up such old trifles again and again!”

Lilyah looked from one to another, then her eyes fell on the shop’s big glass window. While the writing on it was reversed for outside display, she could still read the shop owner’s name on it. Her face darkened.

“We have an old saying in our country,” she said, very calm and very clear. “If an honorable man is called a liar, it’s the caller that is exposed as a worthless dog! Come, Chai, we’re leaving!” She haughtily turned around and left the shop, her stallion in tow.

“Whom do you call a dog here?” The young man furiously charged after her; and Ben, still shocked by her words and entangled by the ladies, was too slow to catch him. “Whom, hey?”

He grabbed her arm to force her around, but then a fist crashed straight into his face and sent him flying back into the shop, crashing into the last remaining stand. A cloud of flour welled up and all the elderly ladies gasped and clung to Ben again.

“Adam!” Ben tried to free himself. “Don’t you think there’s already enough of a mess?”

“What’s going on here?” Sheriff Coffee stepped forward, shoving a few curious spectators aside. He flinched when everybody started yelling at once – except for Ben who was busy saving himself from the clutches of the Widow Hawkins, Lilyah who stood there like the Queen Cleopatra herself and Adam who darkly watched Billy Buckley scrambling back on his feet.

“Roy…” Adam touched the sheriff’s shoulder. “Tell Cass he can send me the bill for the wreckage!”

He took Lilyah’s hand and literally dragged her behind him as he hurried back to the spot where the big chestnut mare still stood in front of the lady’s garment shop. He almost laughed as a shrill voice shrieked through the air. “Oh, Sheriff, my Benjamin was a ‘ero, taming that wild ‘orse!”

Lilyah was still pouting. “Adam, I don’t want you to pay for this! I was willing to do so, but then they offended you. Shall they complain to the king!”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “There is no king in this country.”

“I know…” She scanned his face, trying to ascertain his feelings. “It’s just a saying. You see, in our part of Morocco, the king in Marrakech doesn’t have much to say, since the sheikhs all have their own ways and the Bedouins don’t give much for him, anyway. So, when someone is at a loss or has no chance, he’s been told to go and complain to the king – because everybody knows it makes no sense.”

Adam pursed his lips. “Chai did this damage, didn’t he?”

“Yes, and I would have paid for it, but then…”

“Lil!” He softly took her chin between his fingers. “It doesn’t matter what they said, or did. Chai wrecked up that place and we will pay for the damage he’s done, it’s as simple as that. It’s our responsibility and it’s the law!”

She pressed her lips together and dropped her eyes. While Adam’s fingers were tender and caressing, his voice depicted clearly that his stance was definite.

Adam looked from her to her horse and one corner of his mouth twitched. “Arab horse discipline, eh?”

Lilyah blushed and he burst out laughing.

* * *

 

32. The Mass of Men

“Hep!” Adam nudged Mariah forward to climb up a steep hill, straying from the way they’d been riding along. Lilyah followed without questioning his move, even though it didn’t seem to make much sense. It was merely a small hill from which there wasn’t any way but back to town.

At the top of the hill, Adam halted the mare and waited for Lilyah to pull up next to him. His hand pointed forward, in a waving movement presenting the sight before them, a trace of mockery in the gesture.

“Virginia City!” he said.

Lilyah looked. It was rather hard to see much beauty in this town, even though it was nestled into the side of a most impressive mountain. Unlike the beautiful, forest-clad hillsides around the Ponderosa, these mountains were barren, the only plants fighting for a meager survival being sage-brush, greasewood and a few other low-growing shrubs. Now barren mountains were something she was used to in her native Morocco, and the deserts around the Sous certainly didn’t shine with green fertility either. But Virginia City looked downright depressive. Not only that there wasn’t a single palm tree anywhere, it all was grey and strangely amorphous. The hills and mountains reminded her of a giant clay pit full of digging holes, just that it was dry and dusty. Apart from the multi-story brick buildings around its main street, the town seemed to consist merely of wooden houses, most of which rather resembled shacks and huts. Immense as it was, it looked like it had been jumbled together in untimely haste, with no thought of comeliness or style. Inevitably, her mind wandered back home, to the mosques and palaces of Agadir, the impressive, time-honored city walls of Taroudant, the streets, the places, the kasbahs, the souks, the palms and the gardens.

“It doesn’t really look like it amounts to much, does it?” Adam asked calmly and she was suddenly aware that he had been watching her all the time. “And it certainly doesn’t look like a town that has taken centuries to grow and develop.”

“Uhm…” She uncomfortably played with a strand of Chai’s mane, searching for something nice to say about Virginia City. “It’s probably not that old…”

Adam laughed softly, his eyes wandering back to the town. “Little more than five years ago, none of this existed. Apart from a few hapless gold diggers, no soul ventured along, and these hillsides were as pure as God once created them.” He took a breath. “But five years ago, in 1859, someone found out that the unappreciated mud that polluted the meager gold mines proved out to be replete with silver ore worth 2000 dollars a ton – and the whole area was full of that stuff!”

Lilyah regarded him from the side. His eyes were lost somewhere above the town, narrowed under tensed brows whose inner edges furrowed against two steep lines above the root of his nose. What could be seen from his forehead under the hat was crinkled as in regret. His all too sensitive upper lip had lifted in a vague notion of disdain. His voice was low and almost bare of emotion.

“Turned out that these mountains were full of silver, most likely the biggest natural deposit of silver in the whole world. Virginia City was literally stamped out from the dust overnight, swarmed with diggers and prospectors, fortune chasers and crooks.” He curtly laughed, but there was no humor in it. “The Comstock Lode was even named after a crook. And whatever seemed to have an honest name on it, got usurped by crooks. The Gould and Curry mine – both Gould and Curry were cheated out of their rightful property within a few months. Men made fortunes overnight and lost them as quickly.”

His restless eyebrows furrowed as he curdled his lips. “The Ponderosa of course blossomed. I guess about three-quarters of Virginia City was built with Ponderosa timber, three-quarters of the mines supplied with Ponderosa lumber, and the numbers of our cattle multiplied several times over to provide all the meat and hides needed in the fast-growing town. In the beginning, we barely had competition. Miller, Fuller, Browning – they all came later.” He drew a breath of air through his nose. “It was a lot of work – hard work. It didn’t leave much time, and my excursions into engineering were short-lived, doomed from the start, due to lack of time. Yet after awhile, I didn’t even mind anymore. The greed that came with the silver was disgusting, dealing with the mine owners a study of the abyss of human grotesqueness. That wasn’t what I’ve studied for, anyway. And…”

Adam stopped himself, his brow knitting in sudden diffidence. He was digressing. He caught a glimpse of Lilyah’s serene face, showing the deep concentration with which she listened to him, and once again he felt like her dark eyes were looking beyond his surface. A slightly sheepish smile lingered over his lips as he uneasily shifted in the saddle, trying to focus on what he actually wanted to say.

“What I meant is…” He carefully chose the words. “Don’t you ever take anything to your heart that is said in that town, or by those people. Don’t care for their looks, or their gossip. It’s not even worth noticing!”

Lilyah pressed her lips together. “But they insulted you!”

Adam sat dumbstruck, for a moment truly at a loss for words. He had been thinking of the demeaning looks that those elderly ladies had given her, the looks he had seen in the faces of the bystanders. It had been the same indignant look that he had caught in the face of Madame Estelle, just before her coldly calculating eyes had estimated the value of both Lilyah’s jewelry and the fabrics of her robes. Of course, the presence of a Cartwright had also helped to instantly transform the initial rejection into overwhelming servitude. And last but not least he dreaded the gossip that would doubtlessly spring from Cass’s store – he recalled all too well what Cass had made from his misplaced trust in Howard Meade, telling everybody that once again, Adam Cartwright had backed up a killer. Adam could easily guess that his rather unconventional courting of such a foreign lady would be a feast for the town gossip, and he feared the effects it might have on Lilyah.

But it seemed Lilyah was bothering herself with something entirely different.

“Uhm…” He cocked his head. “What exactly did they say about me?”

Her face darkened even more. “That young jackal with the dumb face said you have lied. And nobody put him in place for that!” She still felt bitter about Ben Cartwright for calling the story that kept on saddening Adam’s soul ‘trifels’, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him. “Serves them right that Chai had wrecked their shop. Allah is wise!”

Adam bit down a chuckle. Contributing the pranks of her rotten spoiled horse to Allah’s wisdom was a remarkable conclusion, even for Lilyah’s standards.

“Yeah, I somewhat ruined Billy’s epic tale of how he boldly outdrew both me and the famous gunslinger after we’ve forced him into a fight.” He shook his head. “Lil, it has no meaning. They’re stupid people, just let them talk.” His eyes scanned over her small face, sensing that there was something she held back. “And what else bothered you – beside Billy Buckley’s words?”

“Nothing…”

He pursed his lips, one eyebrow climbing up. “What did my father say?”

Lilyah flinched and did her best to play over it. “I don’t remember the exact words…”

An amused, yet commiserate twinkle played in his eye. She couldn’t even look him in the face. “We’ve known Will Cass for quite a long time,” he finally began. “He had a mercantile store in Hangtown, now Placerville, the only one there back in the early 50s. The winter of 1850, when we started to run the Ponderosa as a ranch, was a hard one, and we had our bill at his store growing for a couple of months until we could finally pay it off the first spring. My father never forgot that, nevermind we pledged a good piece of land as security.”

Her fingers began playing with a tassle on her reins, but she did not reply. In her opinion, this was not an excuse. Apart from this, the slightly sarcastic undertone of his last words indicated that his own gratitude was limited.

Adam’s eyes wandered over the town again. “There’s another thing besides greed that keeps this not so little town and its neighboring communities going, or rather a set of things: amnesia and hypocrisy. A marvellous combination. They can slander you, shoot you, rob you, try to hang you, insult you, stab you in the back or try to break your neck – the next time you meet them, it’s all forgotten and gone by and they’re all your friends and neighbors again.” He let out a dry laugh. “It’s not so much lack of character, rather a requirement of economics. Everybody needs the others to do business with, especially now with the mines slowing their production, to keep the machinery going that so shamelessly masquerades as civilization.”

Lilyah felt an increasing sadness growing inside of her. On the surface, his words sounded unfazed, analytical, with a tinge of his often so mordant irony. But somewhere beneath, there was a shade of resignation, of disillusion, like a man who had lost something. She watched him from the side, regarded his tall, strong figure sitting so casually in the saddle, carrying himself with his typical nonchalance that so readily conveyed the impression of him being at ease with whatever situation and surrounding he encountered. But he looked deeper than others, his standards of integrity were higher, and so was his sensitivity. And while his intelligence and his kindness enabled him to suavely play along like one of those Shakespearean actors he admired so much, his inside quietly registered the disappointments. Lilyah’s eyes fell on Adam’s hands resting on his saddlehorn, the reins loosely run between his long fingers. Maybe this was why he loved being out in the wild so much. The wild knew no pretense, no hypocrisy, no falseness. It didn’t force a man to bend into something he wasn’t.

“Hey, Lil…” Adam’s eyes warmed up as he glanced at Lilyah and an affectionate smile stole over his lips. “Don’t you take any of this to your heart!” he said softly. “As I told you, it’s just not worth it. And there are still a few good souls out there, boldly holding up the beacon of decency in this raging sea of human travesty.”

She did not know what to reply and gladly concentrated on her reins as Adam turned his mare around. Chai followed suit, eager to get going again.

“Let’s go.” He gave her a boyish smile. “And I have a nice idea for our afternoon – you’ll get your first shooting lessons!”

“Shooting lessons?”

“Exactly!” He drove the mare down the hill and waited until Chai had followed. “I don’t buy into your father’s theory that guns are not for women. Here in the West even women learn how to shoot and you will learn it as well!”

“Oh, I’d love to!” Lilyah eyes lit up, partially in expectation of the doubtlessly exciting shooting, but even more so for the brightening of his features. She was so glad to see the sparkle in between those hazel rays. “I’m sure I will be good at it!” She gazed at his gun. “I mean, it cannot possibly be very complicated.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. First one, then the second. His look became a tad skeptical.

“Ah, come on!” Lilyah laughed and reined in an increasingly restless Chai. “Race?”

His face broke into a laughing smile and he pushed his hat tighter to his head. “Race!”

Like on an unspoken command, they both kicked their horses into a thundering gallop.
* * *

 

“Alright, I guess 30 yards is just about the right distance!” Adam placed the last tin can on the tree trunk lying in the grass and returned to Lilyah who waited expectantly for her great moment. They were on the large pasture next to the ranch house, which he had explained to be a better place for shooting practices. Albeit, his main reason for choosing this place was that from here he could see everyone coming up to the ranch – and if his father returned from Virginia City, he could face him while leaving Lilyah to her practicing.

“Now look!” He pulled his gun and showed it to her, inwardly smiling at her attentive face. “First thing we do is to rotate the cylinder so there will be a bullet ready. That is because a gun like this will always be carried along with an empty chamber under the hammer, to prevent an accidental discharge.” He did it and handed her the gun. “From this distance you can safely assume that the bullet will travel in a straight line to hit the goal – all you’ll have to do is draw an invisible line from across the barrel to the can you want to hit!”

“I see!” She took the gun in her hand and stretched her arm, narrowing her eyes to squint at the tin cans.

“You’d better hold it with both hands!” Adam remarked. “The backlash after firing can be quite harsh when you’re not used to it.” Standing behind her, he gently placed her left hand at her right wrist. “Use it to support your shooting hand!”

“Alright!” Lilyah took a deep breath and pulled the trigger – or rather, she tried. Nothing happened and she threw a skeptical look at the gun. “It doesn’t work…”

Adam cleared his throat. “You gotta cock the hammer first!” He reached out and cocked the hammer. “Try again!”

She pulled the trigger – and let out a shocked cry as the gun went off, accidently dropping it. “It hurts!” She rubbed her hurting wrists, then sniffed at her fingers. “It stinks…”

Adam stood still and swallowed, before he picked up the gun.

“Sorry…” Lilyah gave him an embarassed look while still rubbing her wrists. “It won’t happen again, I just wasn’t prepared for the noise…” Her eyes wandered to the cans. “Did I hit something?”

A shade of doubt stole over his face, but then he brushed it off and smiled. “No. You just try again.”

She took the gun back and gave him a knowing look as she cocked the hammer. Adam watched her finger curling around the trigger and caught himself wondering why she wore no rings. It had struck him as strange before. She always used to wear lots of jewelry – elaborate earrings, necklets, bracelets, golden chainlets dangling from her headdress and haircombs – but he had never seen her wearing rings. At the same time, he realized that she didn’t shoot.

“Shoot!” He gave her an encouraging nod.

An insecure smile hushed over her lips and she raised the gun. The moment she pulled the trigger, she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away, as if to escape the bang. The gun bolted in her hands, but at least she didn’t drop it. There was no chance telling where the bullet went.

“Did I hit something?” She hopefully gazed to the tin cans.

“No…” Adam stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Lil, one of the best kept secrets about good aiming is – to look where you shoot!” He couldn’t help a smile as she turned her head to give him a perturbed look from the corner of her eye. “Now come on, we try again. It just takes a little practice…”

His hands glided over her arms and raised her hands with the gun to a position from which she shouldn’t miss. “Concentrate!” he murmured softly, his cheek touching her hair. “Just see the gun as a natural extension of your hands and it will be a lot easier.” He felt her warm body against his own and for one dazzling moment a strong desire rose inside of him, so intense that he had to catch his breath. “Just concentrate…” He hastily took a step back.

The gun bellowed up – and the sound of breaking glass could be heard, along with a shriek. Adam stiffened and the color drained from his face.

“Are you guys out of your mind??” That was Little Joe’s voice, shrilling out of his shattered bedroom window. “Do you have any idea what this window pane had cost me? And that bullet went just a few inches from my head!”

“Oh Allah…” Lilyah’s eyes widened in shock as she gazed to the house. “Did I do that?”

Adam had visibly paled. The side of the house with Joe’s window was a good 60 degree angle from their position. It was impossible… it was inexplainable. He hurriedly retrieved his gun and secured it in its holster. “Uhm…” He cleared his throat. “When I think of it, your father had a point with his view regarding guns and women… it’s really rather unfeminine… I think we should respect his wishes…”

Lilyah gave him a wide-eyed look but did not say anything. She was thoroughly shocked and obviously had no desire to continue any shooting lessons.

“And apart from that, you’ll always have me to protect you!” Adam slowly regained his composure and offered her his arm. “Alright, let’s face that screaming little brother of mine…”

She mustered a pained smile and let him walk her back to the yard where an agitated Little Joe stormed out off the house.

“How on earth did you do that?” His voice seemed to skip over itself. “Trying to twirl the gun around your finger while shooting? Hey, Adam, that window pane – you’ll drive all the way to Virginia City to get a new one! I’ll have nothing to do with it!”

“Why Virginia City?” Adam cocked his head. “Why not simply get a new pane from the storage room?”

“Storage room?”

“Hm!” Adam nodded his head. “I’ve made sure we have sufficient supply. After all, it’s not such a rare occasion that we’ve gotten a broken window. I’ll replace your pane this evening, don’t you worry about it!”

“Well, then…” Joe let out a conciliatory laugh. “I think we…” He broke off as his father came riding around the corner of the barn. “Uh oh… I should’ve been gone…” He hurried over to his saddled pinto and swing-mounted into the saddle.

“Hey, Pa,” he yelled all over the yard. “I’m right on my way to the Lawrence farm, just as you told me!” He nudged the pinto into a quick canter and raced out of the yard before his father could get a word out.

Ben grumbled under his breath watching his youngest son chasing off, but he frowned even more upon looking at his eldest. Heaving a deep breath, he dismounted and crudely handed Adam a sheet of paper. “Your bill!”

Adam raised his brow as he ran over the numbers listed. “Seems like someone spotted a chance…”

“I don’t think this is the right time to get pedantic!” Ben’s eyes glowered at him, but his expression changed to a slightly stiff politeness as he turned to Lilyah. “Miss Lilyah, if you’d excuse us for a minute.” He pointed to the door. “You might go inside and ask Hop Sing for a coffee while Adam and I care for the horse.”

Lilyah did not move, her eyes questioningly wandered to Adam. It took a moment until he realized that she was waiting for his reaction. Amazed, he gave her a gentle nod and watched as she turned around to disappear into the house. His eyes lost themselves in thought. It wasn’t the first time that he had noticed an unusual touch of submissiveness in her behaviour towards him, one that stood in stark contrast to her wild love for her freedom, her strong will to shake off her traditional role. He wondered how much of it was due to the culture she was raised in, the same culture that had brought her to the fierce resolution that she would never, ever marry, because in her eyes marriage and freedom were incompatible. A warm smile grew in his eyes. He probably was closer to his goal than he thought, yet he reminded himself to make sure that she would never even think that loving him might take the freedom away for which she had fought so hard.

“Do you even listen when your father is talking to you?” Ben hollered angrily. “Do you know that the whole town is talking about that horse?”

“Oh…” Adam turned to his father and faced the irate stare. “That shouldn’t be much of a surprise.”

“Certainly not!” Ben growled, his forefinger stabbing in Adam’s direction. “Do you know that I had to invite Clementine and the other ladies to a lunch at the International Hotel to make up for the shock they have suffered?” He yanked at his horse’s reins to walk the buckskin to the barn. “I had to entertain them for an hour to make up for that!”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Oh dear, what a truly ‘orrible experience.”

Ben snapped around and it looked as if he was going to explode. He certainly wasn’t amused about his son’s ability to imitate accents. “Adam, if you’re seriously thinking about a future with that woman, you better make sure…” He broke off, suddenly alerted by the look in his son’s eyes. He did not want another fight.

“What?” Adam’s lightness had faded, his look sharpened.

Ben caught himself. “That she… adapts. And gets used to the way we are living. Become a part of the community!” He attempted a smile. “Why, the party might be a good start for this. I hope you’ve found a pretty dress for her to wear!”

“Yes, we have.”

“Fine!” Ben nodded his head. “Fine! I think it would be a good idea if you ride over to the Milford place and ask Mrs. Milford to come and help Miss Lilyah get dressed tomorrow. Is that an idea?”

“Oh, yes, it sure is.” Adam’s eyes had darkened. “We could also get her a blonde wig and rub some flour into her face to make her skin a bit whiter, couldn’t we?”

Ben furiously drew the air through his nose, his face turned into a fist. “You mind your tone, young man! I’m not going to tolerate these sarcastic snide remarks from you!” He lowered his voice again, but he still was seething. “And you know that I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Perhaps not!” Adam retorted sharply. “But it seems you simply cannot bring yourself to accept the woman I love just the way she is! Why?” His eyes didn’t evade his father’s fierce glare. “You never had any such problem with the women Hoss or Joe came up with. You would’ve let Hoss marry a crooked gambler that was merely abusing him, you would’ve let Joe marry any girl three hours after he met her, but you make a riot about my choice. Why is that so?”

Ben seemed to grow out of his clothes as he glowered at his son, but then he only shoved the reins of his horse into Adam’s hand, with no cares whether he took them or not. “Take care of my horse!” With that, he turned around and marched to the house.

Adam closed his eyes, trying to fight down the raging anger and the painful feeling of humiliation inside of him, struggling to calm down his breathing. He clenched his teeth and thought of simply letting the buckskin stand where he was. His eyes fell on the ranch house. His home… the house where he had grown from a man to a boy. Drawing a deep, trembling breath, he took the reins of the horse and walked it into the barn.

It couldn’t go on like this.

Next Story in The Dreaming Eagle Series:

Through the Shadows

Spreading Wings