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Hoss

Fifteen years old …

Ben knew that he’d done the right thing by waiting until Hoss was busy in the barn before talking to him, for he sensed that this talk with his middle son wasn’t going to be an easy one for either of them. Ben still felt quite uncomfortable about discussing such topics with his son and he knew for sure that Hoss wasn’t the sort of boy to take this sort of thing easily.

His middle son was quite shy about many things and Ben sensed that the boy would welcome the opportunity to have something to concentrate on other than his father while they were talking. Hoss was physically such a big boy that Ben had often felt that he should perhaps have had this talk earlier, but inside that large body Hoss was a child still and a quite innocent one at that. Ben was sure that his son needed this talk and he was determined to do his fatherly duty and have it with him … in spite of the embarrassment to both of them.

He found Hoss just as expected, doing his chores and raking out the stalls. Ben had asked Adam to take Little Joe to town this afternoon so that the youngster wouldn’t interrupt them, as he knew that it was difficult to get time with Hoss without his younger brother hanging around at the same time. He wanted this time to be special for both of them and intended that they could do some father and son bonding. As a busy father and rancher, he often found it difficult to get some time together with Hoss as the middle son and this was one of those times that he was determined that he would.

As Ben entered the barn, he picked up a rake and began to quietly work next to Hoss. His son gave him a strange look. “How come ya’re doing that Pa?” he asked. “It’s my job.”

“I know son,” said Ben casually. “But I just thought that I’d help you for a while.” He smiled at Hoss. “Any objections?”

Hoss made a face. “Heck no!” he replied. “I ain’t about ta say no ta anyone who’ll help me with my chores. This ain’t the best job in the world ya know.”

Ben nodded as he worked. “I know,” he said. “But that’s life son. We all have our jobs to do and not all of them are things we enjoy.” He cleared his throat. “That reminds me of something I’ve been going to talk to you about,” he said.

“What?” asked Hoss, stopping work and leaning on his rake as he gazed at his father.

“I thought we could have a talk about growing up,” said Ben, trying to sound casual. “About you and … changes.”

“What kinda changes?” asked Hoss, looking puzzled.

Ben cleared his throat again and continued to work. “Oh … just changes,” he said. “To your body.”

Hoss nodded. “Oh,” he said. There was silence for a moment.

“Is there anything you want to ask me?” ventured Ben.

Hoss nodded. “Yeah, there sure is Pa,” he said eagerly.

Ben swallowed and tried to sound casual as he answered. “Oh? What is it son?”

“Do ya reckon I’ll ever stop growing?” asked Hoss. “I mean … I’ve always been bigger than anyone else my age, but don’t ya think I should stop growing soon?”

Ben looked slightly relieved. “Well I can’t say for sure son,” he replied. “I would say that you’ve probably got a bit more to go yet.” He waited. “Anything else?” he asked.

“Nope,” said Hoss. “Is there something else Pa?”

Ben cleared his throat again. “Well there are certain …. changes … that a boy goes through around your age,” he said.

“Yeah?” asked Hoss. “Why?”

Ben concentrated on his rake as he spoke. “Because you’ll be interested in girls soon and your body …”

Hoss went slightly red. “Aw heck no Pa,” he interrupted. “I ain’t gonna be interested in no girls!”

Ben gave his son a piercing look. “You’re not?” he asked tentatively.

Hoss shook his head firmly. “Aw gee Pa, no,” he assured his father. “Girls scare me somethin fierce. I ain’t gonna be interested in em fer a long time yet.” He thought for a moment. “I guess I’m a bit shy round em,” he said. “I’ve watched Adam and he gets on fine with em, but I can’t seem ta find any words ta say when I’m round em. I go all hot and sweaty.”

Ben nodded. “That’s one of the changes I was talking about,” he said. “Your body is …”

“Aw gee Pa,” interrupted Hoss again. “I don’t wanna talk bout that stuff!”

“How do you know what I’m about to say?” asked his father.

“You’re gonna tell all bout getting ready ta mate, ain’t ya?” said Hoss, going red again.

“Well I wouldn’t exactly call it that,” said Ben, clearing his throat again.

“Ain’t that what it’s called?” asked Hoss. “Every time we talk bout the animals we call it that.”

“Well, yes,” admitted Ben. “For animals of course we …”

Hoss began to rake again. “Well I don’t know what it’s called,” he said. “But all I know is that animals do it with their …. instincts …” he screwed up his nose for a moment. “I think that’s the word,” he said. “And if animals have them instincts then I reckon that God woulda given us people plenty as well.”

Ben looked at his son in a new light. “I believe you’re right son,” he said. “People do have instincts just like animals. “Still … there are some things.”

“Some things a fellar has ta figure out fer himself,” muttered Hoss.

“Some things a father has to tell his son,” corrected Ben.

Hoss kept this head down and refused to look at his father. “Do we haveta talk about this Pa?” he asked. “I really don’t wanna.”

“I think we should son,” said Ben firmly. He drew a deep breath and began to talk while Hoss continued to keep his head down and rake the stalls out. After a few minutes Ben was silent. “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said?” he asked.

Hoss refused to look up. “Heck no,” he muttered. “I don’t wanna ask no questions.” He frowned. “Cept one,” he said.

Ben braced himself. “Yes?” he asked.

“When you talked about shaving,” began Hoss. “Well … can I shave my back too?”

Ben tried to keep a straight face as he had a sudden desire to laugh. “Your back?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Hoss. “I mean …. Adam’s got chest hair and stuff, and that’s OK …. But I’m the only one I know who’s got hair on my back. I’ve seen others when we go swimming and it’s true Pa.” He gave his father a mournful look. “How come I got it?” he asked.

Ben bit his lip before replying. “Some men have …. well, some men are hairier than others,” he said. “That’s all.”

Hoss scratched his head. “Well how come I gotta be real hairy?” he said. “T’ain’t fair. It’s gonna be real hard ta shave it too, seeing as how I can’t reach round that far.”

“I think it might be better to leave it son,” said Ben.

“OK,” sighed Hoss. “But ya will teach me how to shave when I need to, won’t ya Pa?”

Ben put his arm around his son and hugged him briefly. “I’ll be glad to son,” he said, smiling at the boy. “I’ll be right glad to.”