Which World Survives?  Joe’s life as he knows it has changed ~ and when he finds himself living in the world he knows along with the life of his past, which wins?

Rated K+  (19,725 words)

Suitable for more mature children, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language.

 

Which World Survives

Chapter 1

The sun rose slowly over the distant mountains. Shades of pink adorned the sky as light started to come upon the mountainous landscape.

The young man rolled over as he sensed the new day beginning. Sighing deeply, he started to think about the day ahead of him. A hand found its way into his wavy brown hair, pushing it away from his face. His eyes opened as he felt soft lips touch his own.

“Good morning, my husband,” said the dark haired beauty staring down at him. He looked up and smiled. “Good morning to you, my beautiful squaw,” he replied, taking her into his arms as they started to welcome the new day together.

A small cry interrupted the beginning of their passion, and he lifted his head and looked over at the small bundle next to them. “I think someone’s hungry,” he chuckled, picking up his daughter and placing her into his wife’s awaiting arms.

Joe Cartwright smiled, content with his life and all that came with it.

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Just how Joe became a member of this Indian tribe escaped his thoughts. He knew that he was different, a white man in a red man’s world. But though he didn’t question and just accepted it, how he arrived there was still a mystery to him.

In his dreams, he remembered growing up in a big wooden house with a white haired man, who he thought must have been his father. There were two others in these dreams – a big, burly man, with intense blue eyes that let you look deep into his soul. The other was tall in stature, dark haired, and with a warm smile. Joe knew they meant something to him – but just what, he couldn’t say. All Joe knew for sure was there was a day long ago when he woke up in a teepee with every inch of his body in pain, and saw a beautiful woman applying a sweet smelling salve onto his wounds, her long black hair surrounding her face, and illuminated by the fire burning next to her.

In perfect English, she told him, “Do not move. You have many broken bones, and the medicine man has put them back in place so you can heal properly. Do not fear, for we shall take care of you.” And true to her word, Lomasi and the other members of the Kuyuidika Tribe* nursed Joe back to health.

Joe felt nothing but appreciation to these people who took care of him, despite the fact that he was not one of them. As he regained his strength, he shed the clothes and ways of his past and began to help the other men of the tribe with the work on the reservation. He soon found himself being called “Nawat,” by the braves, and when he questioned them why, he was told with hilarity it meant left-handed.

So in time Nawat found himself falling in love with Lomasi, the daughter of Chief Qualetaga. Her presence in his life was something that he felt he could never live without again. As he told her father, she “completed” him. In an elaborate ceremony, the High Priest of the tribe married the couple under a full moon that summer. As they were pronounced husband and wife, Chief Qualetaga proclaimed to the rest of the tribe that “Nawat” was now one of his sons. This act touched Joe deeply, and proved to him that he was truly accepted as a member of the Kuyuidika Tribe.

Nine months later found a nervous Joe pacing outside the teepee he shared with Lomasi, awaiting the birth of their first child. He was relieved when he heard tiny cries emanating from inside. The smiling midwife emerged, handing him a squealing bundle. Joe looked down to see the face of his newborn daughter, with dark curly hair and piercing emerald eyes. He and Lomasi named her Tehyn, “precious child.”

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With their daughter now fed, Joe and Lomasi left the privacy of their teepee to join the rest of the tribe. The men gathered around the fire as the women worked together to prepare breakfast.

Chief Qualetaga left his teepee and joined the braves by the fire. “We have much trouble ahead,” Qualetaga told them. “White men take our brothers’ land to the south. We are next in their path of destruction. We must get ready to fight our white enemy.” All of the braves nodded their heads in earnest agreement.

Joe walked back with Qualetaga to his teepee. With a nod of his head, the Chief invited Joe inside. Both sat down to discuss the matters at hand.

“Do we know just who these men are, Father?” Joe asked. Qualetaga looked at his adopted son with loving eyes as he answered. “Nawat, they are men of the white man’s government. They ask no questions, they just destroy. Good braves have been killed, their women raped and murdered. All in the name of destroying the Kuyuidika from inhabiting the land.”

Joe shook his head incredulously. Even with his new life, Joe’s old ways sometimes surfaced. “Father, perhaps we, or maybe I, can talk to these men. Being a white man in body, perhaps they would listen to me. I could convince them that we bring no harm to them, and that we would move from this land peacefully if lives could be spared.”

Qualetaga looked at Joe with pride as he replied. “Nawat, you speak with logic and compassion for all. But you must remember that despite your heritage, you have now adopted the ways of the Paiute. You will never be forgiven for abandoning your birthright as a white man. In fact, many would wish to see you die for what they see as your treachery.” There was sadness in Joe’s eyes as he realized the truth in Qualetaga’s words. “Then we prepare for battle, Father,” Joe said as he stood to leave the teepee.

However, despite his strong words, deep down Joe wished that he and his tribe could be spared from the oncoming skirmish as days went by quickly and preparations were made. The women looked about anxiously as they watched their children play, seeking any unusual movements. The braves took watch around the reservation, listening for sounds of the approaching troops.

Sleep was a precious commodity among the adults of the tribe, as all worked together to keep each other safe. Joe, Lomasi and Tehyn were in their teepee one evening when Joe stood up abruptly. “Nawat, what is wrong?” cried Lomasi, not used to her husband’s sudden movement.

“Lomasi, where are the items that were with me when I was found so long ago?” Joe asked. Lomasi nodded her head and went to a woven basket in their home. Lifting the lid, she dug deeply inside it until she pulled out two items: a green jacket and a gun belt that held a pearl handled gun.

“Are these the items you seek, Nawat? What use could you have for them?” Lomasi asked her husband. Joe took the gun belt and revolver from his wife’s hands. Removing the gun from the holster, Joe felt its heaviness in his hand. He twirled it, and then instinctively opened the barrel to see how many bullets were left inside. Lomasi watched in silence as her husband seemed to go through a ritual that was somehow comforting to him, yet strangely upsetting to her.

“I will use this to protect us, Lomasi,” Joe said as he placed the gun back into its holder. Lomasi shook her head in disagreement. “White men use guns, Nawat, we use other things.”

Joe answered her calmly. “My beloved, do not forget from where I came. I know how to use a gun. Bows and arrows will not protect us from the bullets of the enemy. I do not want to lose my family, and will do anything to protect us from harm.”

Lomasi knew when her husband could not be swayed and remained silent as Joe once again removed the gun from its holster and headed outside.

It was a cloudy day when the raid finally came. The braves knew that the intruders were not far, and had embedded themselves along the crags of the mountains above their reservation, the women and children hidden in the many caves that existed in the mountains.

The sound of hoof beats echoed in the canyon, getting louder with every clap. The Indians looked around to see just where the enemy would enter their camp. However, it was what they didn’t expect that destroyed them.

With a mighty boom, the mountains around them shook and rattled. Chunks of rock began to descend from the high peaks above the braves poised for battle. One by one, the rocks hit the defenders, sending them spiraling downward to the earth below. Joe watched in horror as his friends sailed past, screaming in fear. Shaking himself from the shock, Joe began to run down the mountain to avoid certain death.

As he reached the ground, he saw many of his comrades dead on the ground, their faces frozen in fear. Joe realized the troops must’ve known the tribe would use the mountain as their main line of defense, and so it would be the best way to destroy them as well. Setting off explosives at the top of the mountain, sending down pieces of rock at a remarkable rate of speed meant certain death for most.

Joe ran through the labyrinth of dead bodies and headed towards the cave that housed his family. He heard the troops begin to infiltrate the reservation, and smelled the acrid smoke as fires were set to their homes. Joe finally found where he had left his family hours before. The opening was covered with debris, and he immediately began to move every rock that was between him and what mattered to him the most.

He was finally able to open a crevice that led into the cave. “Lomasi! Lomasi!” he yelled into the opening, as he heard the sounds of a child crying. “Nawat, I hear you!” Lomasi cried as she grabbed her husband’s hand lying outstretched into the cave.

“I’ll get you out – hang on!” Joe shouted, as he started to move more rocks from the opening. The sound of the oncoming troops became louder as he painstakingly moved stones both big and small. Lomasi realized that if Joe continued, all three of them would be killed, so, she held back her tears as she came to an agonizing decision.

“Husband, stop – stop what you are doing! I hear the enemy approaching; we will all be killed if you stay any longer. You have made the opening big enough …..Here!” Joe watched in horror as he saw Lomasi push out a bundle containing Tehyn. “Go, Nawat, go before we all die. Please save our daughter, for me, please save her.”

Joe picked up the infant and stuck his head close to the opening. “Lomasi, I can’t leave you – I love you so much…” he choked back sobs as he spoke. Lomasi felt the same pain and looking up into her husband’s eyes she saw more love than most women would ever experience in a lifetime.

“Nawat, I will always love you and will always be with you in your heart. Please, for the sake of our daughter, run. Run away from this horror and take Tehyn where she can live in peace.”

She extended her hand through the opening and touched Joe’s tear-streaked face. “Always remember that I love you, Nawat. When you see the red sun in the morning and the silver moon in the evening, remember that I am there with you. You are never alone.”

Joe kissed her hand, tears streaming down his mud-caked face. He told her, “You are the bravest woman I have ever met. I have never loved anyone as I have loved you, and never will, my darling. You will be with me always, here in my heart. And you have my promise that our daughter will never forget you.”

With hoof beats rapidly approaching, Joe kissed his wife’s hand one last time, tearing himself away from his beloved before he picked up their precious bundle and ran for the thick woods in the distance.

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Joe had no idea just how far he ran before he started to slow down. Night had fallen in the forest, quiet except for the coos and gurgles from the bundle strapped to his heaving chest. Joe knew that it was close to Tehyn’s feeding time, but the pressing problem now was what she was going to eat.

Taking a quick look around him, Joe knew that he had to find a source of food for his daughter. In the distance, he saw a flickering light, as if from a fire. Quietly, Joe set off to see what it was. As he got closer, he saw a group of cowboys asleep by the glowing flame and tiptoed around the myriad of empty whiskey bottles strewn around the campsite as he foraged for food.

Away from the flames, he saw a small herd of cows penned in by a rope fence. Joe sneaked into the group, hoping to find some milk for his hungry daughter. Having taken one of the empty bottles from the campsite and washed it out in the creek below them, he put an udder into the bottle and started to pull in hopes of finding success. Joe’s eyes widened as he saw and heard the white gold begin to fill the bottle. Minutes later, he sat in the darkness with glistening eyes, feeding Tehyn until she had her fill. As she slept contentedly in her father’s arms, Joe found his eyes closing and falling into a deep sleep began to dream.

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The stagecoach was returning to Virginia City and Joe contentedly leaned back, satisfied at the new Army contracts he had just negotiated. He looked forward to going home to the Ponderosa and sharing his successes with his family. Closing his eyes, he thought he could already smell Hop Sing’s roast pork in the late winter air.

The way station in Grangerville was bustling with activity when the stagecoach pulled in for the night. A shrill voice started to call Joe’s name before he even took a step out of the dusty coach.

“Joe Cartwright! Is there a Joe Cartwright here?” a thin nosed woman shouted.
Joe went up to the woman and replied, “I am Joe Cartwright – Is there a problem M’am?” Handing him an envelope, she replied, “Don’t know about that, son – but this was left here for you this afternoon.”

“Thanks,” Joe said as he took the yellow telegraph envelope and went into the office. He sat by the gaslight as he opened the telegram and began to read:

TO: Joseph Cartwright – Ponderosa Ranch, Nevada Territory/via Grangerville

FROM: Roy Coffee, Virginia City

JOE:

SORRY TO SEND YOU THIS NEWS. BEN, HOSS AND ADAM WERE KILLED TODAY BY JOHN FRANCIS AND HIS SONS IN A SHOOTOUT.

THE POSSE HAS CAUGHT ALL INVOLVED AND ARE AWAITING THE ARRIVAL OF THE CIRCUIT JUDGE.

PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK ASAP.

AGAIN SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS NEWS
ROY

Joe’s eyes filled with tears – how could this tragedy happen? How could all his family be felled in a shootout? After all, his two brothers were amongst the fastest draws in the territory! Unable to gather all his thoughts coherently, the only thing on Joe’s mind was the desire to get home – quickly.

At 23, Joe had experienced more heartbreak than most his age. At age 5, he lost his mother Marie, the first woman he adored, in a tragic horse riding accident. His father and brothers helped him to deal with his grief and continue to live despite his loss.

More recently, Joe had finally come to terms with the death of his true love, Laura White. Laura had arrived at the Ponderosa for a visit with her father. She and Joe had been childhood friends, with the usual boy/girl crush at that age. But Laura had realized that she truly loved Joe, and as Joe spent time with her during the visit, he realized his feelings for her in return.

The couple decided to marry, with Joe renovating a beautiful little cottage for them to live in. Sadly, their union was not meant to be. Unbeknownst to Laura and Joe, she had been stricken with a terminal illness and was nearing the end of her life. Both fathers told their children the devastating news, and Laura took herself to the cottage so that she could see it for the first and last time. Joe found her there, where she finally succumbed to her illness while in Joe’s loving arms.

The youngest Cartwright was a shadow of his outgoing, fun-loving self after this tragedy. Again, it took the love and support of his father and brothers to bring him though what was a trying time in his young life.

Wanting to return home as soon as he could, Joe was able to secure a horse to continue his travels, forgoing the stagecoach for the rest of the way. Riding as fast as the wind, Joe wound his way through familiar terrain on his way back to the Ponderosa – or what was left of it.

He blinked back tears as he couldn’t help thinking of his life now without his family. He felt empty at the thought of continuing without them, when all of a sudden, without warning, the chestnut Joe had been riding stumbled in a hole on its path. The horse lurched forward, sending its rider over the cliff beyond. The last thing Joe remembered was spiraling downward, the wind pushing his hair away from his face, finally hitting the ground with an ugly thud.

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It was the sound of Tehyn’s cries that woke Joe from his slumber. The dream immediately forgotten, his eyes opened quickly, scouting the land around him for the enemy. Satisfied that all was well Joe took the milk he had procured the night before and began to feed his hungry child once more.

Joe’s mind was filled with many thoughts. As he sat alone in the woods, he began to focus on all he had lost when he left Lomasi in her sealed tomb. He looked up at the sky above him, remembering his wife’s last words. “How am I going to live without you?” he asked himself. “Where will we go? Where can we be safe?” His watery eyes looked down at his daughter, her stomach now satisfied. As she looked back at him with adoring eyes, Joe didn’t know why, but something instinctively told him the direction he needed to travel.

Day followed day as Joe traveled swiftly, avoiding anything that would impede his goal, and as he got unknowingly closer, he found his sleep restless, with thoughts of his life as a white man rising higher to the surface. His dreams of the three men came often and without warning, and Joe would wake in a cold sweat, clutching Tehyn and rocking her back and forth and finding comfort as she continued to sleep peacefully in his arms.

On the fifth day Joe reached his destination, intuitively knowing he was where he should be. He stood on a cliff, taking in the beauty of Lake Tahoe before him. Joe held Tehyn tight and told her, “This is where we will find peace, my precious child. We will be happy here.” As he started to yawn, Joe succumbed to the days of endless travel and worry and he fell asleep under a shady pine tree.

 

Chapter 2

“Last one home buys the first round at the Silver Dollar!” shouted Hoss, as he started Chubb into a fast gallop.

“Don’t even try it, brother ~ Sport will beat your nag without breaking a sweat!” replied Adam, as he encouraged his horse to follow suit.

Both men encouraged their horses to go faster, laughing as they rode past the many landmarks of the Ponderosa at breakneck speed.

Hoss was a length ahead when he came to an abrupt stop. He raised his hand in silence to his brother, who came up alongside him.

“What is it?” Adam asked quietly.

“Over there, under the tree – look, it’s an injun!” Hoss replied.

Adam looked over to see a slight figure, dressed in deerskin, sleeping upright against the trunk of the big pine. Long, curly hair obstructed the face of the stranger as the two brothers slowly made their way over.

As they got close, Hoss was the first to make the obvious observation.
“Adam, this injun ain’t a real injun – he’s a white man!”

Joe heard the whispers and woke up. He remained in the same position so as not to alert the men that surrounded him. He opened his eyes slightly and peeked down at Tehyn, who was still asleep in his arms, bundled in blankets and not immediately visible to the strangers.

“Do we wake him, Adam? Should we get him off our land?” Hoss asked his older brother quietly.

Adam pondered the question before he answered. “I don’t know Hoss. From the looks of it, seems this Indian is alone. Maybe we should give him the opportunity to rest while he can.”

Adam again looked down at the still figure. From the corner of his eye, he noticed something move in the crossed arms and he knelt next to the sleeping man and went to move the blanket when he heard the click of a gun.

A deep, monotone voice said, “Step away from me or you won’t see the sun set.”

Both Hoss and Adam were stunned by the perfect English spoken by the stranger. They stepped back in trepidation, not knowing what would happen next.

The man rose slowly, holding the bundle in his right arm and the cocked gun in his left. He shook his head, sending his hair back and revealing his tanned countenance.

Hoss and Adam’s faces expressed shock as they looked at the man before them. Adam turned to Hoss, mouthing the words, “Oh my God, it’s Joe!”

Hoss’ blue eyes moistened at the sight of his baby brother. Unable to contain his relief, he stepped towards Joe, stretching out his hand. “Little brother, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you…..where the heck have you been all this time?”

Joe looked at the big man before him. Glimmers of recognition started to enter his mind, but Joe refused to accept them. Shaking his head, Joe told Hoss, “You are mistaken. I am Nawat, a brave of the Kuyuidika Tribe. I know not of this Joe you speak of.”

Looking into his brother’s eyes, Adam sensed the strain in Joe’s face as well as his voice. Not wanting to upset him or cause him to flee, he took a different tact in addressing his brother.

“Nawat, I am sorry if my brother here mistook you for another. We do not come to harm you, but want to help you. You look like you have come far and are weary. Come with us to our home, so that you can rest before you travel once more.”

Joe took in Adam’s words and slowly let his gun fall to his side. Before he could think, he heard himself reply, “I thank you for your hospitality. I will stay at your home until we are ready to travel once more.”

“We?” asked a puzzled Hoss. “I don’t see anyone else around here. You sure you ain’t alone?”

The brothers’ faces froze again as Joe pushed back the blanket from Tehyn’s face, revealing her existence to her unknowing uncles. Speaking softly, Joe told them, “This is my daughter.”

Adam found his words caught in his throat. “Y-Y-Your daughter you say?” he asked Joe, swallowing hard.

“Yes, this is my daughter Tehyn. She was born to my wife Lomasi on fourth moon of this year.” Joe put the blanket back on his child. “She is now without her mother, and I need to feed her properly so she does not starve.”

Hoss looked tenderly at the sight of his brother and child. “Joe, no, sorry, I mean, Nawat~ we have plenty of food back on the Ponderosa. Your little one there will get her fill, I promise ya.”

Joe found his eyes wincing at the sound of that word – Ponderosa. He put his gun back in its holster and grabbed the side of his throbbing head. “What’s wrong – are you OK?” asked Hoss, as Joe began to stagger slightly.

“Tired, hungry, that’s all – we go back now to your house now, OK?” Joe asked, as he held Tehyn tight in his arms. “Sure Lit – Nawat, I mean,” smiled Hoss, as he led Joe to Chubb.

Hoss watched Joe swing mount onto the big horse with only one arm. His grin widening, Hoss whispering to Adam “Little brother is home,” as he joined Joe and they started the ride back to the Ponderosa.

Adam decided to ride ahead in order to prepare his father and Hop Sing for the arrival of Joe. Running into the house, he threw his gun belt and hat on the credenza as he looked for Ben in the Great Room.

“Adam! What in blazes are you so excited about? For a moment there, you came in here sounding like…” Ben’s voice trailed off, his eyes filling with old memories as he looked into the blazing fire.

“Pa, sit down. You are not going to believe what I am about to tell you,” Adam said, leading his father to the large wing backed chair near the hearth. “What could you tell me that would be so unbelievable son?” Ben laughed as he sat down. In a soft, low tone, Adam looked at his father as he told him, “Pa, Joe’s alive. And he is here on the Ponderosa.”

Ben looked at his son incredulously. “Adam! How could you say something like that! You know that your brother…” Adam cut Ben off, interjecting, “Pa, I just saw Joe. I just spoke to Joe. He’s not dead Pa. He is as alive as you or I.”

Ben’s eyes began to fill with tears of happiness. He broke down sobbing at the prospect of his youngest son coming home to him after all this time. Adam put his arms around his father, weeping as well. The sounds of the two men brought Hop Sing into the Great Room. “What is wrong? Hop Sing make dinner and hear the two of you yell and cry! Where is Mistah Hoss? Dinner is soon!”

Ben looked up, wiping the tears from his face. “Put an extra setting at the table tonight, Hop Sing. Little Joe is coming home.” Hop Sing’s eyes opened wide. “Mistah Ben, you drink from brandy bottle too much? Little Joe is in heaven, not here.”

Adam shook his head as he told Hop Sing, “It’s no mistake. We found him up by the lake. A little thinner, hair a bit longer, but still our Little Joe!” Hop Sing’s face lit up, smiling from ear to ear. “Well what you know? Little Joe alive! Must make special supper for numbah three son.”

With a jump in the air for joy, Hop Sing ran back to the kitchen, continuing his preparations.

Adam turned to his father, his face more serious than before. “Pa, before Joe gets here, there are a few things you need to know.”

“I heard you son – a little thinner, hair a bit wilder, but that’s fine with me. As long as he’s back…” Ben looked up at Adam’s face once more. “Son, what is it?”

Adam sighed as he began. “Pa, he doesn’t realize who he is. It looks like he was taken in by a Paiute tribe, and he has totally assimilated to that way of life, in, umm, every way possible.”

Ben looked up curiously. “What exactly do you mean, Adam?”

Adam cleared his throat as he told his father, “Pa, he’s married to a squaw. And he has a daughter.”

Ben leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a minute to absorb the news. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at his oldest son. “The most important thing is that Joseph is alive, Adam. We’ll take the rest as it comes,” he added, momentarily taken back to the day he first heard the traumatic news of his youngest son’s probable death.

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Ben Cartwright was a happy man. All of the dreams he had so long ago had come to fruition. His life as a rancher of the biggest spread in the Nevada Territory was challenging, but fulfilling, not only for himself, but for the three most important things in his life – his sons.

All three of his ‘boys’ were now grown men with various responsibilities about the ranch. On this day, he awaited the arrival of his youngest, Joseph. He was scheduled to be on the afternoon stage after securing their biggest horse contract with the Army to date. Ben was beyond pleased with his son’s success.

As he waited at the stagecoach depot, the door opened at the telegraph office across the street. A sandy-haired teen ran across the street, his eyes fixed on Ben.

“Mr. Cartwright! There is a telegraph coming in on the wire for you right now – I think you better come into the office!”

Ben looked at the boy, his brown eyes clouding with concern. “A wire for me?” he asked again. The boy nodded his head in earnest. Sensing the urgency in the boy’s actions, Ben began to head to the office. When he got there, he saw his old friend, Rafe Newcombe, leaning across the telegraph equipment, deciphering the tics and tacs of the machine. When the sounds finally ceased, he looked down at his pad, his eyes glancing at the words one last time to ensure their accuracy. Putting the pencil down, he turned to look at Ben.

“Ben, I don’t know how to say this but…” Rafe began.

“Just tell me, Rafe, Don’t beat around the bush!” Ben snapped, his emotions beginning to get the best of him.

“It’s about Joe, Ben. Here, better read it for yourself,” Rafe said, delicately handing the yellow paper to his old friend.

Ben began to read the contents of the telegram.

“……Sorry to bring bad news regarding your son, Joseph Cartwright…”
“…..decided to leave the coach and head for home on horseback…..”
“….horse fell, broke its neck, throwing the rider into the gorge…”
“….must have landed in the river, as no body has yet been recovered…”
“….still searching…will be starting from Mile Bend in the morning, but feared dead.”

Those were the only words that stuck in Ben’s mind as he read the message. “feared dead!”

The next few months were pure heartache for Ben, Adam and Hoss. They met up with the search party at Mile Bend and stayed with them until the sheriff called an end to his investigation, having found no trace of Joe.

The Cartwrights continued their hunt for their lost son and brother. Day and night found Hoss, Adam and Ben scouring the banks of the river, looking for any clue that may lead them to Joe. Having come up empty for weeks, the family eventually had no choice but to abandon their search as well and start the long, mournful trip back to the Ponderosa.

Life back at the ranch was far from normal upon their return. Each of them mourned silently in their own way for Joe, each keeping their feelings bottled up inside as to not cause further anguish for each other. This led to a quiet, morose atmosphere that did more harm than good.

It took their usually quiet, unassuming family member to help them overcome their grief. Hop Sing. Although he too was mourning the loss of the child he considered his own, he knew that his family could not continue on this quiet path of destruction.

As he placed the dinner dishes on the table one evening, he looked around at the maudlin, pale faces surrounding him. He slammed a dish full of chicken on the table, sending its contents flying. Three faces looked up at him incredulously.

“Hop Sing knows that you are sad – I am sad too! But Little Joe would not want all of you to be like this! Don’t father and brothers know that you are making him sad watching you like this from heaven? Make Little Joe happy and start living again – remember that his memory lives through all of you!”

Hop Sing’s outburst caught the Cartwrights by surprise. Clearing his throat, Adam was the first to speak.

“You are right, Hop Sing. Joe wouldn’t want us to wallow in grief. Joe’s legacy will still live through us if we let it – and I don’t know about the two of you, but I think it’s only right that it does.”

Ben and Hoss, their moist eyes looking at Adam, nodded in agreement.

“It’s the way your brother would’ve wanted it, for us to continue to fufill the legacy of the Ponderosa.” Hoss then added his sentiments as well. “Shortshanks will always be in our hearts, his being there will make us stronger.”

Hop Sing smiled and looked upward, thinking to himself, “Thank you Little Joe, for helping me help our family.”

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Ben anxiously paced the floor of the Great Room, listening for the sound of an approaching horse. It seemed like an eternity since Adam told him of his youngest son’s imminent return.

His heart skipped a beat as he heard the sound he had been waiting for. Rushing to the front door, Ben swung it open as if it was the weight of a feather. He ran to the edge of the porch and saw Chubb enter the yard carrying two men. When Chubb finally stopped, the smaller man hopped off his back effortlessly and stood in the yard, facing Ben. Their eyes locked as Joe saw the man that had inhabited his dreams standing before him.

Ben walked towards his Joe. He felt his eyes welling with tears as he finally stood next to the son he thought he had lost so long ago. Clearing his throat, he extended his hand. “I am Ben Cartwright. Welcome to the Ponderosa.”

Joe could not take his eyes off of the white haired gentleman standing before him. Flashes of memories from long ago came into his mind – as if it were a slideshow. A small curly haired child sitting on a man’s knee; a young teen, being talked to by a concerned adult; a young man, being consoled by a compassionate elder ~ Joe did not know what to make of all that was playing out in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will the images from his head. Ben looked on in concern, seeing that his son was fighting something – but what he could not imagine.

Taking a deep breath, Joe opened his eyes and extended his hand to Ben. Joe found difficulty in uttering the next few words. “I am Nawat of the Paiutes. Thank you, Mr. Cartwright, for your generosity.”

Ben smiled at his son. “Why don’t you come inside? You can wash up, have something to eat, and take what I think would be a much needed rest. From where have you come?”

“We have come from the land of the Paiute. The white army attacked our reservation without cause, destroying all that we had. I had to leave my wife behind to save our daughter, to keep her safe.” Joe then leaned towards Ben, showing him his tiny granddaughter for the first time. Ben’s eyes glistened as he looked at the tiny infant before him.

“S-She’s beautiful.” Ben said, trying to control his emotions. Joe found himself falling prey to his feelings as well. His eyes filled as he watched Ben look adoringly at his daughter. Again, memories of the past filled Joe’s mind. Why does all this seem so familiar? He thought to himself. Why was I drawn here?

As he looked at Ben, Adam and Hoss, he found himself feeling safe and secure amongst these men. But why? His head started to throb again as he tried to rationalize his feelings.

Hoss noticed Joe starting to rub his temple again, as he had when they first met. “Nawat, are you sure you’re ok there, my friend? Is your head givin’ you some trouble?”

Joe looked up at Hoss, his eyes squinting from the pain. He handed Tehyn to Ben as he said, “I -I don’t know why, but I feel that I have known all of you b-before….” and then dropped to the ground in a dead faint.

Adam and Hoss rushed to his side, picking up their brother as they had done so many times before. Ben told them, “Boys, bring Joseph to his room and I’ll send for Doc Martin.” He then looked down at the cooing infant in his arms. “Don’t worry about your father, little one. Both of you are safe here. This is your home.”

When Paul Martin arrived, he was shocked to hear that his patient was none other than Joe Cartwright.

Ben told him, “Paul, I don’t know if he’s getting his memory back, but it seemed as if he did recognize us in some way.” Doc replied, “Ben, the mind is a strange thing. We don’t know much about how it works, but let me take a look at my oldest patient and see what’s going on.”

As Paul ascended the stairs, Ben began to follow him. Paul turned and stopped. “Ben, I think it’s best that you wait down here. Remember, you aren’t Joe’s father right now. You are but a helpful white man.” Ben realized the truth in Paul’s words and with nary a word came back down to join his other sons.

As Paul approached the room, he thought about just how many times he had entered it. Shaking his head, he realized that this visit would probably be the most difficult he had ever made.

He opened the door to find Joe stirring in the big featherbed. Paul stood above him, waiting for him to fully regain consciousness. Joe’s hazel eyes opened slightly, and blinked as he tried to focus on the man standing above him. He sat up abruptly as he did not recognize the stranger.

“Whoa there!” said Paul, patting Joe on his bare shoulder. “I’m not here to hurt you son, just to help you. I’m Doc Martin – Ben called me to take a look at you.” Joe looked cautiously at the gray haired man before him. His head still pounded as he looked about the room, his head still bringing him many unwanted images.

“Can I give you a quick check-up son? You’ve been out there for a while; just want to make sure you’re in good shape.” Paul looked at Joe and awaited his answer. Saying not a word, Joe nodded to the doctor and let him begin his exam.

Downstairs, father and brothers awaited news from Paul. Adam took a gun belt from the table and handed it to Ben. “Pa, it’s Joe’s that he took with him the day he left on the trip. He must wonder where he got it from – and I wonder if he still knew how to use it?”

Ben pulled the gun from its holster and opened up the chamber. “I’d say your brother still knows how to use it – this chamber is as clean as a whistle and there are only two bullets left.” All eyes then looked to the stairs as they heard Paul make his way down. He motioned for all to sit as he stood in front of the hearth to tell the family his diagnosis.

“Well, Ben, Joe is in relatively good shape for someone whose been scrambling around these past few days. He’s a bit dehydrated and undernourished; nothing that Hop Sing’s cooking won’t cure.” Ben looked at Paul, his eyes darkening. “What about his mind, Paul – what are we dealing with here – is it amnesia?” he asked curtly.

Paul looked at Ben wistfully. “I’m not sure if it is amnesia, Ben. From what I can tell, he took quite a blow to his head, probably when he was thrown from that horse and landed wherever he did. He had a noticeable wound on his head, and I saw the stitches when I just examined him. He also has quite a few more stitches in places that I haven’t tended to over the years. I must say that whoever doctored him in that tribe did a good job putting him back together.”

“But the memory Paul – what about that? It seems that he recollects some things – I can tell by the looks he has given us. How can we get him to remember who he is, and who we are? It is so frustrating…” Ben found himself being interrupted by Paul.

“It’s frustrating for you perhaps Ben, but I think it is more frustrating for Joe. He told me that he has dreamt of all of you since he woke up on the Reservation long ago. He knows that you were a part of his life, but how he doesn’t know. When he tries to think about putting the pieces together, that’s when the pain in his head begins. Ben, I think you need to give him space – not let him think too hard about the past for the moment. Something is blocking that final piece of the puzzle from being put in place – but what, I don’t know.”

Adam looked to Paul and asked, “So what you are telling us then Paul is that at some point, that final piece will click – and Joe will remember everything?”

Paul replied, “That is what I am hoping for, Adam. What will unlock those memories is anybody’s guess right now. But I think that being back in his home, among the people that he loved, is the best way for that door to be opened.”

After Doc Martin left the ranch, Ben headed upstairs to see if Joe was resting. He knocked on the door, getting no response in return. Opening the door slightly, he was shocked to see the bed empty. His eyes darted frantically about the room, fearing that his son had left him once again.

His worry was alleviated when he looked towards the window. Below the fluttering curtain, a still body was curled up, fast asleep. A warm smile crept onto Ben’s face as he gazed upon his son. Pulling a quilt off the bed, Ben wrapped it around Joe before he began to leave the room. In the doorway, his other two sons looked on in silence. Turning to them Ben said, “Guess he’s used to sleeping on the ground these days.”

Hoss chuckled and replied, “Never thought Joe would turn down a big feather bed – guess we’ll have to reacquaint him to some of the finer things in life.”

********************************************************

Shortly before dawn the next day, Joe bounded down the stairs. Feeling quite refreshed, he instinctively took himself to the kitchen, where he found Hop Sing tending to Tehyn.

Joe looked at Hop Sing and said,” Good Morning, sir. Let me thank you for taking care of my daughter last night. I wish to pose you no further bother, I will continue now.” Hop Sing put Tehyn’s bottle down and put her into her father’s awaiting arms.

“This precious one is no bother at all. Hop Sing love to take care of her for you. You need to take care of yourself and get better. Please let Hop Sing help.” Joe found the oriental man’s words comforting – again his mind tried to process just why this man seemed to have a special affinity for him, as well as a child he had never known.

His head starting to hurt once more, and Joe put the thoughts out of his mind as he nodded. “Thank you, Hop Sing. Words do not adequately show my appreciation.” Joe then took Tehyn and her bottle to the Great Room, where he sat by the fire and continued her feeding.

The rest of the family started their morning in disjointed fashion, each coming down at various times, until finally, all were seated at the dining room table. Joe had once again given Tehyn to Hop Sing, who insisted on handling an impending diaper change, and he sat quietly, feeling nervous yet comfortable at the same time.

Ben looked up at his sons – all of his sons, sitting together at their family table once more. He looked at Joe as he began to speak. Using Joe’s Indian name did not get any easier. “Nawat, I hope that you had a good night’s rest last night. Are you feeling better?”

Joe looked to Ben and with a small smile on his face, told him, “Yes, I rested well. I feel much better than I have in days.” Ben smiled back, happy that his son was starting to feel a bit more at ease.

Joe looked up at his family. All of their eyes looked at him with anticipation, hoping they’d hear the words from him that they wanted to hear ~ who they were, and more important, who he was. Joe sensed the feelings that were at the table, and started to feel guilty that he could not provide them with the person they had obviously lost when he left them long ago.

The tension in the room was broken when Hop Sing entered once again, carrying a stack of pancakes. Ben, Adam and Hoss eagerly went to take their portions, with Joe watching intently. Hop Sing looked at the youngest Cartwright and as he shook his head said, “Always the last one. Everyone get the food before you, Little Joe. Get in there and get your share!”

Without missing a beat, Joe looked up at Hop Sing and muttered something back to him in Mandarin, Hop Sing’s native tongue. Forks dropped to the table as everyone looked at Joe incredulously. “I – I don’t know where that came from. I don’t know….”

Joe got up from the table abruptly and rushed out the door. “Joe – I mean – Nawat!” Ben yelled after him, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Hoss looked at Ben as he took the napkin off of his lap and stood up.

“Pa, I think it’s time that me and Shortshanks had a talk. Maybe not brother to brother yet, but I think he needs to open up to someone ~ and that someone’s gonna be me.” Ben and Adam both nodded in agreement. Heading to the credenza, Hoss picked up his big ten gallon hat and placed it on his head. “See ya later!” he shouted as the front door slammed behind him.

Standing on the front porch, Hoss thought about where his brother would instinctively go when he was upset. He headed to the barn and saddled Chubb, knowing that if history truly repeated itself, that there was only one place where Joe would be found.

The wind was blowing hard on the hills above Lake Tahoe. Joe was out of breath as he found himself overlooking the beautiful countryside once more. Wiping the tears from his face, he looked down to find himself standing in front of a grave. Before he could give it a further look, he felt a kind hand on his shoulder. The voice, strong yet tender, began to speak.

“Listen here, Nawat, let’s sit down here and talk a while. I think there are some things you need to talk about – to get off your chest. I am a good listener, if you want to let it out.”

Joe looked at Hoss and found himself easily drawn towards the kind hearted stranger and he sat down and started to tell him his story.

“I was badly hurt, how I do not know. I woke up in an Indian village, that of the Kuyuidika tribe. Their medicine man and a woman were with me, all the time. I could not move, my head felt heavy and hurt constantly. It took months for me to recuperate from all of the injuries I had sustained. What I do know is that I was a cowboy, and that somehow you and the other two gentlemen, even Hop Sing, fit into my life. It is how that I do not know. I see images, images that I do not understand. Pictures of all of you constantly enter my mind. I struggle to think, think hard just what it all means ~ and my head starts to hurt as I try. Now I speak another man’s language without thinking ~ it worries me not to be able to make sense of it all ~ I don’t it understand myself!” Frustrated, Joe punched his fist into the dirt.

He continued his story. “The woman who cared for me all those months, Lomasi, became my wife. I loved her with all my heart and soul. She was my partner, my love, and my life. The people of the Kuyuidika tribe treated me as one of their own; in fact the Chief of their tribe considered me a son.” He laughed. “Can you believe that? Taking in a white man as his son?” Joe’s voice started to crack. “He loved me as much as he loved his real children. I could never repay him for his kindness.”

Hoss interjected, “Where are they now? Why didn’t they come with ya?” Joe looked at the ground as he continued.

“The Army attacked our reservation, without warning, without reason. We knew that they were approaching and tried to protect our people as best we could. But the Army was one step ahead of us. They knew we’d use the mountain as a defense, so they blasted the top, loosening rocks which fell on many of our warriors. My wife and child, along with the other women and children of our tribe, were hidden in caves within the mountain. Debris covered the openings. I tried to unearth my beloved but failed. All I could do was make a small opening where Lomasi was able to hand me Tehyn and begged me to leave. I wanted to stay and pull every rock from that pile, but the Army soldiers were approaching fast. For Lomasi, and for Tehyn, I had no choice but to run.” Tears fell from his face as he finished.

Hoss found himself putting an arm around his distraught brother, then another, until he embraced him in a hug. Joe did not shy away, instead burying his head into the big man’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably as he mourned his wife and all he had lost.

Holding his brother as he had many times before, Hoss felt the pain that emanated from his brother. How could one man withstand all that Joe had endured, Hoss thought – and how could he and his family help him finally heal?

The words came to Hoss as he whispered, “Listen now. Don’t you keep frettin’ about what you know and what you don’t know. The most important thing now is that you are home with us – we are your family and will be your family whether you ever come to remember the past – it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you are back, and you are well. Let the rest come in its own time. Don’t keep the memories back – let them happen and maybe something will click that’ll bring it all back to you.”

Finally able to compose himself, Joe stood and wiped the last tears from his face. He looked down at Hoss and smiled. “Thank you…brother,” he said quietly. Hoss looked up and gave Joe a big smile. “Always your brother, Nawat” he replied.

Hoss could tell that Joe’s mind was still working. Pacing back and forth, Joe looked like a caged panther, waiting for his chance to escape. “What you thinkin’ about there? You look more wound up than a kid’s spinnin’ top!” asked Hoss, putting his hat back on his head.

With a pained expression on his face, Joe told Hoss, “I need to find my wife, Hoss. I need to go back to what’s left of my reservation and see what has happened. For better or worse, I need to know.” Joe continued, “Now that Tehyn is safe, I can go.”

Hoss nodded his head. “Think that’s a good idea, but you ain’t gonna go alone, I’ll tell ya that right now.” Joe’s eyes stared at Hoss in disbelief. “Why would you come with me – it’s my problem,” he said quietly.

Hoss’ eyes glistened as he gave Joe his reply. “It’s like I just done finished tellin’ ya – whether you know it yet or not, I am always your brother. And your problem is my problem – in fact, I can tell you its Pa and Adam’s too – so let’s get back to the house and start mappin’ out a plan.”

 

Chapter 3

“Whaddya mean the boy’s alive? I saw him go off that cliff myself, damn it! Saved me the trouble of shooting him! There is no way in hell that he could’ve lived!” The slender, white-haired man pounded his hand on the table to emphasize his disbelief.

His young friend shrugged his shoulders. “Mr. White, I am telling you – the word around Virginia City is that Joe Cartwright has returned to the Ponderosa – you can believe it or not.”

Deep down, Matthew White always held a great deal of resentment towards his old friend, Ben Cartwright. Both were successful at sea, but Ben decided to end his seafaring days to start anew in the fledgling Nevada Territory. White was happy to see his competition go, thinking that no man could ever make such a tremendous transition in his life successful. But he soon found out that he was wrong in his assumption, as Ben made his life out west more than profitable. He owned a ranch, and better yet, had three loyal sons who put their sweat and blood into the land that the Cartwrights called home.

White had modest success at sea, becoming a Captain of his own vessel. He married and had a daughter, Laura. His life was a good one, but in his mind, not as good as the one Ben Cartwright had. Matthew had kept up his relationship with Ben, not out of ‘friendship’, but out of the spirit of competition that always consumed him.

Twelve years earlier, Ben had come to visit the Whites at Matthew’s invitation. Ben brought along his youngest son who was the same age as Laura, and the two children had a marvelous time together; in fact, the adults saw that the two had developed a little ‘crush’ on each other. Matthew’s wife even commented to Ben at one point, “Wouldn’t that be something if the two of them wound up together someday?” All Matthew could do was look at the younger Cartwright with disdain, as he saw a loving look in his daughter’s eyes that he had never seen before and wouldn’t see again for another twelve years.

In the years that passed, Matthew started to lose the things that mattered to him most. His wife succumbed to a battle with tuberculosis, and his daughter had been diagnosed with a life ending illness as well. He didn’t tell his daughter the extent of her illness, preferring that she live her life unaware that she wouldn’t see her next birthday. White decided to take a leave from his profession, hoping to rekindle a relationship with his daughter. Before her illness, Laura had been shipped away to school and really never had the chance to know her father, as he was away at sea more than he was on land.

Matthew’s dream of closeness with his daughter was shattered when all Laura wanted was to visit the place he never wanted to see – the Ponderosa. All of the hatred and resentment that Matthew had towards Ben bubbled up inside of him once more as his own flesh and blood spoke endlessly about the Cartwrights and in particular, the youngest son, Joseph. He found himself agreeing to the visit, not so much for his daughter’s benefit but for himself so that he could see what his long time rival had accomplished.

Laura was ecstatic as she arrived at the Ponderosa. Her eyes scanned the Great Room, looking for her old friend. Matthew shook Ben’s calloused hand, and forced a smile on his face and contempt in his heart. All sat down as Ben poured a brandy for his old friend.

When Joe bounded down the stairs, Laura’s face lit up in a way that Matthew had never seen before, and he found himself resenting the young man immediately. Joe politely welcomed her to the ranch, but informed her that a prior commitment prohibited him from joining their welcome. Laura was visibly disappointed, but her father was inwardly pleased at this turn of events. Perhaps this would show his daughter that her long time crush was not the prince of her dreams.

All of his hopes were dashed in the subsequent days. The two young adults spent more and more time together, much to Matthew’s disapproval. He couldn’t help but voice his displeasure more than once to Ben, but never told him of Laura’s terminal illness. When Joe and Laura didn’t come home after an afternoon carriage ride, Matthew finally snapped. Ben tried to allay his fears, attesting to his son’s responsible nature. Matthew heard none of it – all he knew was that his daughter was with another man, a man that she loved more than him – and he hated him all the more for it.

When the couple returned in the morning, Matthew bolted out of the front door and flattened the young man with one punch. Ben was angered by his behavior, but out of respect for his old friend, said nothing more. However, for the rest of the visit, Joe and Matthew exchanged nothing but angry looks at each other. Both Ben and Matthew were surprised when the couple told them of their desire to marry – – soon. Matthew then told Ben about his daughter’s illness, and in turn, the couple was told, much to their shock and disbelief. Laura, unable to accept her fate, left the ranch house one evening and took herself to the cottage that Joe had lovingly restored for them. Joe found her there, where they spent her last moments on Earth together, with Laura dying in her fiancée’s arms.

This turn of events enraged Matthew, as he resented the fact that Joe was the last to see his daughter alive. He abruptly left town with Laura’s body, with nary a goodbye to the man who was almost his son in law. Ben sensed the anger that Matthew harbored for his son, and was in a sense relieved when he left for home.

Over the years, Matthew had never got over what the Cartwrights had, and what he felt they had done to him. He vowed to himself that they would pay for taking his daughter’s love from him, and for having the life that he always wanted. One day, he thought to himself, one day, Ben Cartwright will feel the sadness and emptiness I have felt, and I will watch and laugh as his world crumbles to the ground…….

Matthew White, now a bitter and deeply disturbed man, roused himself from his memories, and looked back at the young man standing before him. “Get back into Virginia City and find out for sure if the kid is still alive. If he is, he won’t be for long.”

********************************************************

Ben was relieved when he saw Hoss and Joe ride into the yard, and as one of the ranch hands took Chubb to the barn, the two men walked towards their father.

“Pa, Nawat here needs our help, and I told him we’d give it to him,” Hoss told Ben in an authoritative tone. Ben couldn’t help but notice his younger son looked relieved as Hoss spoke ~ the same way he used to when his older brother would talk them out of trouble many times in the past.

“Of course Hoss. Whatever you need Nawat, is at your disposal here,” Ben answered. Joe looked at Ben with warm eyes and said, “I need your help to find my tribe, Mr. Cartwright.” Joe looked over at Hoss for strength as he continued, “I cannot do it alone.”

Without missing a beat, Ben smiled as he replied, “When do you want to leave?”

The next morning, the four Cartwrights made ready for their journey. Joe spent his last moments with Tehyn, feeding her and speaking to her softly in front of the fireplace. Ben watched as his son stroked his daughter’s face, speaking to her in a language that he could not understand. He saw Joe’s eyes glisten with tears as he kissed Tehyn once more before handing her to Hop Sing.

Ben couldn’t help but notice Joe’s demeanor change abruptly. His son stood up, his eyes dark with anger. “Let’s ride,” he said in a low, unemotional voice. Ben nodded as the two of them headed out into the yard, ready to mount their horses. Joe led the way as the family set out, not knowing what they would find.

The Cartwrights found themselves heading into territory that they had never traversed before. Traveling at a quick pace, they stopped occasionally during the day to water their horses, and then would set up camp at night. Ben, Adam and Hoss felt a certain distance from Joe. Although he was cordial with all of them, he seemed to be in a world of his own thoughts. They would find him the first awake in the morning, standing on a crest watching the sun rise before them, and then see him watch the sun set with an intensity that escaped their comprehension.

But the three of them knew not to ask any questions. Whether he was Joe or Nawat, it didn’t matter – the man before them was as emotional and trigger- tempered as he had been before the accident, and questions would only lead to trouble between them. Trouble that none of them wanted or needed.

It was on the fourth day that they came upon the deserted reservation. Joe’s eyes widened as he took in the mass devastation before him. The bodies of his friends and enemies were strewn about the ground, looking as if a child had suddenly dropped his toys and ran away. Hopping off his horse, he started to run towards the caverns that had housed the women and children. Ben and his sons followed.

As they rounded the bend, they saw Joe on a hill of rubble, frantically grabbing rocks and hurling them to the ground. All three of them joined Joe in his quest to find life amidst the ruins. It seemed like an eternity before they were able to bore a hole into the cave. Joe stuck his head in and yelled the name of his wife over and over again. Ben, Hoss and Adam looked on, not knowing what they should do next.

Taking his head out of the hole, Joe looked up at his family. “There is no one left in this cave,” he said as he wiped the dust away from his eyes. He continued, “They must’ve been taken away from here.”

Joe stood and ran over to an adjacent cave. “This is where the children stayed. I need to see if they took them as well.” Again, Joe knelt down and began pulling rock after rock from the endless pile before him. His hands, now raw and cut, worked endlessly to secure another hole in a cave. The three Cartwrights took their cue from Joe’s lead and joined him, working together, side by side. They were once again successful in making a hole into the tomb sealed before them, and Joe stuck his head in, but this time let out a blood curdling yell at what he saw.

“Nawat – what is it!” Ben cried, kneeling down next to his son. Joe removed himself from the hole, and put his head into his bloodied hands. Ben looked in and was taken aback as well. The tiny bodies of the tribe’s children were lying prone in the cave, asphyxiated once their tomb had been sealed by the enemy. Ben took his head out and looked over at Hoss and Adam, telling them in a whisper, “The army murdered the children. They freed the women but left the children to die.”

Joe’s insides were churning at what he had just viewed. He hated the white man for the pain they had inflicted upon the innocent of his tribe. His anger rose to the surface as he stood up and looked at his other family, the family he had yet to remember. “They must pay,” he said quietly, the anger coming through in his words. Ben looked at his son, knowing the emotions that filled his thoughts. He grabbed Joe’s shoulder as he began to speak.

“I know what has been perpetrated here is murder, Nawat, plain and simple. But you know just as well as I that we must stay within the boundaries of the law.” Saying nothing in response, Joe shook his head despairingly, heading to the sea of bodies that lay in front of them. He looked down at each brave with sadness, reminiscing to himself of the times they had shared together. He finally came across the body of the Chief, his adoptive father, Qualetaga. His family watched in silence as he knelt above the lifeless form and bowed his head in reverence.

“Father, I am sorry, so sorry that I have failed you, and our tribe.” Joe wept, the warm tears trickling down his face onto the fallen warrior beneath him. “I will avenge what has happened here. As God as my witness, I will make those responsible pay for this.”

Knowing that there were three sets of eyes watching him, he composed himself quickly and headed back to where the men were standing. Ben patted Joe on his shoulder and told him, “Son, I know you are hurting more than I could ever imagine. That man there has been a father to you, and you remember him more than you do me. But please let us help you; let us help you do what you need to, to avenge what has happened here. But as I said, we can only do it within the boundaries of the law.”

Joe looked up at Ben’s chocolate eyes that were filled with nothing but love and sincerity. “Mr. Cartwright, I accept your offer to help. But what I cannot accept outright is the fact that my revenge will be within the law. That I can’t promise right now.”

Ben understood that his son would be raw with emotion, and decided that pressing the issue at that moment would do nothing but push him away – perhaps forever. Ben did not take his eyes off of his son as he nodded in agreement.

“Nawat, I understand your feeling that way and I will abide by your wishes. So what is your next move?” A small smile crept upon Joe’s face, pleased that his family would not abandon him. Hoss’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “Nawat, I see a few set of tracks here – I think this is the direction they’re headed.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Joe said, as he swing mounted onto his horse and followed his brother into the brush.

The Cartwrights rode slowly as Hoss examined every inch of land, looking for the clues that would keep them hot on the train of the Army soldiers. They finally arrived at an encampment that contained their enemy – the US Army.

The Cartwrights hid themselves around a bend from the camp, settling in for the night. They were about to figure out just what their next move would be when Adam turned to his brother.

“Nawat, I know that you are proud of what you have become in these last months. But I think, for your own safety, that you should remove the clothes of your people when we enter the camp. I have some clothes for you in my saddlebag, if you are so inclined.”

Joe thought over Adam’s words. “I think that despite my feelings, it would make more sense to wear the uniform of the white man,” Joe replied, as Adam handed him a pair of pants, shirt and boots. Moments later, he came back into the camp dressed as the Joseph Cartwright of old. He found himself strangely comfortable in his new outfit and took his gun belt and instinctively put it on, slung low as he had always worn it in the past.

Adam rummaged around his saddlebag once more and handed Joe a crumpled piece of green corduroy. Joe unfolded it and saw that it was a green jacket ~ exactly the same as the one Lomasi had saved after he came to the reservation.

Joe’s head began to throb for the first time in weeks, as fresh memories of his life entered his head, one after the other.

He saw himself in his green jacket aboard a chestnut horse, riding fast, an anguished look on his face. He felt the horse pull up suddenly; felt himself flying, heading down into the ravine below, his body floating, spinning, the wind pushing his hair away from his face as he headed towards the ground at incredulous speed…….

As he clutched his forehead, his brothers saw the look of pain on his face and rushed to his side just in time to catch him as he passed out. Gently, they placed Joe onto a blanket and put his head on his bedroll, as Ben put a cold compress on his head.

“Pa, is he gonna be OK?” Hoss asked.

Ben looked at his sons. “Boys, I think that Joe is closer to recapturing his past than all of us think, including himself.” he said, removing the cloth from Joe’s head. “I think seeing his old jacket stirred up some memories that he hadn’t expected.”

Chapter 4

The next morning, Ben woke early. He turned to where Joe had been and found his bedroll empty. Ben panicked as he thought that Joe’s impulsiveness had gotten the best of him once more. But as he scanned the camp, he saw the slight silhouette of his son against the rising sun. Ben sighed in relief as he walked towards him.

“Morning – are you feeling better today, Nawat?” Ben asked, as he patted Joe on his back. Joe turned to him, his face solemn. “Thank you, I do feel better today,” he replied.

“Anything I can do to help you, Nawat? Anything?” Ben asked, sensing the anguish his son was enduring once more. Shaking his head, Joe said quietly, “I will be fine, sir. I appreciate your concern.”

After breakfast, the men quickly went over their plan.

Ben and Adam walked into the Army camp, as the soldiers looked on. The lookout came towards them. “Can I help you, gentlemen?” he asked. Ben, in his most commanding voice, replied, “I am Ben Cartwright. I was hoping to speak with your Commander.”

“You are looking to speak with me then,” a voice called from behind Ben. Ben turned and saw a tall, lean gentleman walk towards him. “How can I help you, Mr. Cartwright?”

In the meantime, Joe and Hoss had quietly made their way to a small shack on the edge of the Army encampment. As Joe looked into the window, he saw five Indian squaws sitting on the floor, their faces shrouded in terror as they watched one of their kind in the arms of an Army soldier, trying desperately to avoid his advances. The soldier leaned back and slapped the sobbing woman as he started to kiss her hungrily.

Joe looked at Hoss, his eyes burning with fury. “We have to stop this now!” he hissed in a low whisper. Hoss nodded and replied, “Whenever you’re ready, little brother.”

Joe nodded and proceeded to kick down the flimsy door, standing face to face with the soldier. Without a word, Joe kicked the feet from under the man, sending him to the floor. Hoss grabbed the stricken squaw and led her out of harm’s way. The soldier got up, pulling out a knife. With the stealth ness of a big cat, Joe dodged the point of the weapon time after time, frustrating the soldier. Finally, he landed a left hook onto the soldier’s jaw, stunning him momentarily. Joe picked up the knife and flipped it to his brother, then proceeded to hit the soldier with punch after punch until he was unconscious on the dirt floor. He wiped his forehead as he turned to face the squaws.

Disoriented, Lomasi and the other squaws had not realized that their protector was Joe. She looked up at the cowboy before her and her eyes widened as she saw Joe’s face clearly for the first time. Before she had a chance to stand, Joe was by her side, untying her hands and kissing her gently. Tears streamed down both of their faces as he whispered, “I love you.”

Hoss looked over at his brother as he untied the rest of the squaws. Not wanting to interrupt their reunion, he started to lead the women out of the shack. “A – hem, Joseph, I mean, Nawat, I’m gonna get these gals to a safe place. I suggest that you and your wife come along soon.”

With a big smile, Joe looked up at Hoss and replied, “I’ll be right there big brother – just give me a minute.” Hoss smiled as he left, sensing that Joe’s memory close to breaking through.

Lomasi could not contain herself as she asked Joe question after question. “Nawat, where is our Tehyn? Is she safe? Well?” Before she could ask anything else, Joe put his finger to her lips, replying softly, “Tehyn is fine, Lomasi. She is back at the Ponderosa with Hop Sing, who is taking care of her as if she were his own. The way he took care of me after my mama died.”

Lomasi looked at her husband incredulously. “What did you just say, husband?” she asked, wondering if Nawat was beginning to remember his past. In his mind, Joe repeated the last few sentences he had spoken ~ and realized that all the pieces of the jumbled puzzle in his mind were starting to fall into place.

The pain in his head that always accompanied his memories started once again, but before it could get worse, a deep, unemotional voice came out of the shadows.

“Well, Mr. Cartwright, what do we have here? Have you forgotten my daughter so easily and taken up with another? I think we need to talk young man.” Before Joe could turn to face his foe, the now totally insane Matthew White hit him over the head with his gun, sending Joe to the ground into a black abyss.

*********************************************************

Ben and Adam confronted the Major about his tactics in raiding the Paiute reservation.

“How can you justify the slaughter of innocent children?” Adam shouted at the impassive man before him.

“It’s all in the name of war, young man,” the Major responded bluntly. “I really don’t see why this is any of your concern.”

Ben’s face angered at the Major’s lack of compassion. “Do you realize that you murdered those children? And what have your men done with the women, I can only imagine. We’re going to head back to Virginia City and file a complaint ~ what you have done will not go unpunished.”

The Major sneered at Ben. “I don’t think you’ll be making it back to Virginia City, Mr. Cartwright,” he hissed and went to draw his gun.

A click from behind froze the arrogant leader. “I’d suggest that you toss that gun, slow and easy, if you still want to breathe.” Hoss put his gun into the uniformed back of the Major. The man laughed as he threw down his weapon. “And just what do you think that will achieve? You may have my gun but do you expect that you and your sons can overwhelm an entire platoon?”

Hoss walked towards his father. “Pa, lemme tell you somethin’ that perhaps the Major isn’t aware of. Joe and I found the squaws and rounded up the men involved in the raid – they are all tied up and ain’t goin’ nowhere. I caught up with the rest of the soldiers – talked to a young Lieutenant called Walker. He told me it seems they wanted none of the killin’ and torturin’ that’s been goin’ on, but they felt that they had to obey this fool in uniform as he threatened to shoot them for disobeying orders if they didn’t.”

Ben was pleased and relieved to hear the news. Slapping Hoss on the back, he told him, “Hoss, it looks like things here are under control, thanks to you and Joseph. By the way, where is your brother?”

Hoss scratched his head and said, “Last I saw him, he was in the cabin with his wife. Wanted to give them some time to themselves, but I did tell him to hurry it up.”

Ben and Adam chuckled as Adam replied, “Well, I think we’d best break up that reunion and start our trip home.”

Hoss led his father and brother to the small shack that he and Joe had discovered. Ben swung open the door, expecting to find his son and his wife ~ instead he saw the young squaw hog tied on the floor with a gag in her mouth. She looked up at Ben in fear, not knowing who he was or what he was going to do to her.

Gently, Ben knelt down beside her and took the gag from her mouth. As Adam and Hoss entered, they took in the sight before them and went to help untie Lomasi as well. She looked to the three men, still slightly fearful, until Ben took her hand and spoke.

“I am Ben Cartwright. My sons and I will not hurt you.” Lomasi looked at Hoss, remembering him being with Joe during the raid on the shack earlier. As she looked back at Ben and Adam, a knowing look crossed her face. She realized that Ben’s countenance was the one in her husband’s dreams. “You are Nawat’s father and brothers,” she began. ‘While he was badly injured, he cried out for ‘Pa’, ‘A-dam’, and ‘H-Hoss’. He would mumble about how he couldn’t live without all of you. He thought that his entire family was dead.”

“Why? What would make him think that?” Adam asked incredulously. Lomasi answered, “The yellow paper that we found in his jacket. My father said it told of a great tragedy that had befallen Nawat’s family. That his father and brothers were killed in a shootout.” All three men’s eyes widened in horror at the thought of Joe receiving such a message – what went through his mind, none of them could imagine.

Ben looked to Lomasi as he said, “So in his mind, he thought that the life he once had was gone? So he stayed with your tribe to start a new one?” Lomasi nodded. “After he awoke from his accident, he never mentioned any of you by name again. I do not think he remembered any of it then – he had pushed it out of his mind. But, he would tell me from time to time of his dreams of a white haired man and two other men – but that was all he could remember. The memories of your life together escaped him.”

Hoss pushed back his hat in disbelief, as Adam and Ben glanced at each other. “Who on Earth would want to see Joe suffer like that? I just don’t understand why…” Hoss stopped speaking as Lomasi stood, gently rubbing her wrists. She told them, “The man you seek was in this room a short time ago. He hit Nawat over the head after accusing him of forgetting his daughter. He told me he’d followed you all from the Ponderosa and then he tied me up and dragged Nawat away.” Her face was one of concern as she thought about what fate could befall her husband next.

Ben adjusted his gun belt, his face darkening with worry. “Whoever this person is has a grudge – a big grudge. We must find Joseph before it’s too late.” Adam and Hoss nodded in agreement. Ben continued. “We can leave Lieutenant Walker in charge until we return, and then we’ll all head back to Virginia City together.” Turning to Lomasi, he added, “I think it best if you remain here. I don’t know what we’re walking into, but I’m afraid things might get too dangerous. We will bring Joseph back to you.”

Sadly, Lomasi shook her head, replying, “I will stay.”

The Cartwrights started off on their quest to find their lost son and sibling. Hoss picked up the trail from the cabin as they headed into an area of mountains. They found themselves steering their mounts up the craggy ledge before them, and the wind blew fiercely and the temperature dipped as they made their ascent.

White had brought Joe up to a cave he had discovered earlier and by the time he awoke, Joe found himself tied with leather straps to nails hammered into the rock wall behind him. His pain in his head was intense as he roused himself back to full consciousness, his teeth chattering as White had removed his jacket and shirt to intensify his suffering.

“Well, well, glad you are able to rejoin us,” White growled, his eyes crazed as those of a mad man. “It’s been a long time, Joseph.” Joe’s thoughts scrambled quickly as he tried to remember just who this man was.

White continued with his insane rambling. “Looks like you survived the little ‘accident’ I planned out for you…..you Cartwrights always seem to have nine lives, always come out smelling like a rose…but not this time, cowboy. You’re going to die, and your Pa is going to know just how it feels to lose a child…the way I lost my Laura…”

At that moment, the last puzzle piece clicked into place. Joe recognized Captain Matthew White standing before him. He remembered his brief time with Laura, and how she died in his arms. He remembered the sadness and anger he felt as he was never given a chance to say goodbye…..

“I’m not going down without a fight you bastard.” Joe hissed, as the memories of the telegram and his accident came flooding back as he spoke. “You sent that telegram telling me my family was destroyed, didn’t you? You were responsible for my accident at the bluff, and thought it was a sure way to kill me. Well, you failed. And you’re gonna fail again if I can help it.”

White was briefly taken aback by the boy’s bravado, but recovered quickly. He chuckled as he replied, “Tough talk from a man who is at a distinct disadvantage at the moment…” and without a moment’s hesitation, took a bucket that stood beside him and threw its contents atop Joe.

Joe’s body shivered uncontrollably as the icy water permeated every part of his body. He was unable to control his anger as he yelled through chattering teeth, “Is that all you got, Mr. man- who- knows it all? A man who kept his daughter at arms length for years, and when he decided it was time to get close, found she had no use for him? Kept her illness a secret from her? And never gave her the love that she deserved?”

White’s body shook with anger. “I always loved my daughter!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. “But she always loved you more….Joe Cartwright this, Joe Cartwright that – it repulsed me! You and your father, always getting things you didn’t deserve…..your father leaves the seafaring life and becomes a successful rancher….and you, you little whelp, you get my daughter’s undying love…..it wasn’t fair!” And with those last words, White pulled out a gun, ready to put an end to Joe’s misery as he put the barrel up to his cold, shaking form.

“What do you have to say now, Joe Cartwright?” White shouted as he held onto the gun. Joe looked up slowly, with a smirk on his face and told him, “Go ahead Captain White – you kill me with that gun, and guess what? I’ll be with Laura, and you won’t be. You’ll still be alone and miserable – and you deserve it!”

White became enraged at the truth in Joe’s words. He threw down the gun and grabbed Joe by his long curly hair. “Maybe a long, drawn out death is what you deserve – a bullet is too good for you.” White took Joe’s head and slammed it on the rock wall behind him, sending him into unconsciousness once more. Blood dripped from Joe’s head as White untied his captive and dragged him out of the cave into the dark, cold, snowy night.

********************************************************

As the snow fell, Ben, Adam and Hoss encountered difficulty in reaching the higher terrain on the mountain. By morning, they finally made some headway. “Last night’s snow got rid of any tracks, Pa.” Hoss told Ben. “But, there really was only one way they could’ve traveled, so we are bound to find somethin’ soon.”

They continued onward until they saw a horse tethered next to a cave. Dismounting silently, each knew instinctively what they needed to do. The wind continued to swirl about them as they made their way towards its opening.

Guns drawn, each looked at the other and quietly counted to three. The cave was empty! Picking up Joe’s shirt and jacket, Adam growled, “Damn, we missed them!” as he kicked the ground beneath him in anger.

Ben’s eyes darted around, looking for any clues. His stomach turned as he saw something that he hoped didn’t belong to his son – blood on the back wall on the cave. He cursed to himself as he saw the nails and leather bindings left behind.

“They couldn’t have gotten far in this weather, Pa.” Hoss said as he looked out and Adam added, “Hoss is right, Pa. They have to be close by.” Both sons looked over to their father, who hadn’t heard a word each had said. Instead, they saw Ben crouched close to the ground, his hand touching the floor where Joe’s smeared blood left a deep red stain. His sons looked at each other, knowing the thoughts that currently inhabited their father’s mind.

“Pa! Did you hear me? We gotta get goin’ NOW!” Hoss snapped, waking Ben from his reverie. “Y-Yes, son, let’s go.” replied Ben as he stood up and walked back towards them. Hoss put his strong arm around his father. “Shortshanks is gonna be alright Pa, don’t you worry. He’s been through worse. We’re gonna find him real soon now.”

The family continued their trek up the mountain. The ledges became smaller as they approached the summit, and the wind blew fiercely and the snow came down rapidly. The men held onto each other for support as they finally reached their destination. Wiping their faces of ice and snow, they saw a man seated before them, caked in winter’s fury. “Good to see you Ben”, Matthew White said calmly as he stood up and approached his enemy.

Ben was shocked. Matthew White! It had been Matthew who had orchestrated this entire trap. Ben’s face darkened with fury as he shouted, “White, what you have done with my son? Where is he?”

White put his hand to his mouth and paused. “Well, Ben it seems your son has run into a little accident up here. Was scrambling away from me and seems to have banged his head real good.” White took a step to one side, unveiling Joe lying face down in the snow. Hoss and Adam ran towards him, while White was still engrossed in taunting his long time friend.

“How does it feel to lose a child, Ben? You’ll know soon. Stubborn boy couldn’t leave my Laura alone. He had to keep company with her, even though I disapproved. He took her from me, Ben. You Cartwrights were always taking things from me. You had the success at sea that I always wanted, and your son had the unconditional love from my daughter that I could never have. I thought that by killing him, you could experience the loss of something so valuable to you – just as I lost years ago. Its payback time, Ben, payback! That’s what this is all about.”

Ben could not believe White’s words. As he listened, he watched Adam and Hoss shed their coats and wrap them around their brother in a vain attempt to get him warm. His mind reeled with anger as he took in the sight before him.

“You’re insane Matthew!” Ben cried, trying to keep the man’s attention diverted from his sons. “You concocted this scheme to exact revenge on me and my family? You won’t win, Matthew. As God as my witness, you will not win.”

As he thought of what White had done, Ben could not contain his anger any longer. With a running start, he threw himself onto White, blow after blow connecting as the two men fought in the wind driven snow. Both men battled until they reached a ledge of the summit, when White broke hold of Ben’s grip.

With his insanity now clear for all to see, he gave a wicked smile, and with a mad chuckle shouted over. “I am going to join my Laura now, Ben. I will leave you to mourn the loss of your beloved son.” In one movement, White turned and jumped off the ledge, his descent unable to be seen in the heavy snow, but the sound of his scream clearly heard until it faded away, far below. Shaking his head in disbelief, Ben turned quickly and ran to his sons who were still frantically trying to help their little brother.

“Pa! Are you OK?” asked Adam as he looked upon his father’s bloodied face. “Fine, fine.” Ben said dismissively as he knelt down at Joe’s lifeless form. He brushed the ice and snow from Joe’s face, and saw the bluish tinge that was on his lips. Looking up into the gray sky, he silently whispered, “Marie, help him!”

Regaining his composure, Ben turned his attention back to Joe. “Let’s get him out of here.” he said quietly. The two men knew by instinct what needed to be done. Hoss scooped Joe up like a fragile piece of china into his big arms, while Adam took his coat and adjusted it around Joe’s small frame. Together, the family slowly descended the mountain, keeping the youngest Cartwright as safe and warm as they could.

 

Chapter 5

They were all bewildered when they smelled burning wood as they approached the vicinity of the cave where they first found Joe’s clothing. Feeling cold and covered in snow, as they entered to their surprise they saw Lomasi standing before them. “I couldn’t wait any longer and I thought you may need my help once Nawat, I mean Joseph, was found. Lieutenant Walker gave me supplies to bring to you.”

Hoss ran towards Lomasi and the crackling fire that spat out welcomed warmth next to her. He placed Joe down softly on the surrounding blankets, stepping back as Lomasi leaned into Joe, his body shivering with cold as she quickly pulled dry blankets on top of him.

Turning to Hoss she said, “There are some more blankets in the corner. Make yourselves warm or you too may succumb to the cold.” All three men looked at each other incredulously for a moment then followed the orders of the woman before them.

Hours later Lomasi had succeeded in bringing up Joe’s body temperature ever so slowly, but all were concerned that he had not yet regained consciousness.

Ben lifted his son’s head and carefully probed around the back, finding a section of hair matted together. He pulled his fingers away to look at them. “Blood,” Ben said to no one in particular. “He must’ve taken a heavy blow for such a deep gash.”

Adam and Hoss sensed their father’s concern – what would another injury to his head do to Joe’s returning memory?

“We have to get him down from here and to a doctor – soon!” said Hoss, his face etched with worry. “He can’t stay up here like this!”

Lomasi looked up at the men surrounding her. “It is too soon for Nawat to be moved,” she said quietly. “He is still very weak; taking him out in this weather would kill him. His body cannot take any more abuse.” Adam nodded. “Lomasi is right. Joe can’t be moved in this condition – he’s been out in the elements too long as it is.”

Lomasi looked at Adam and smiled fondly, the first smile any of the Cartwrights had seen on the young woman’s face. “Adam, would you please help me to give Nawat some broth? He needs to get some nourishment.” Adam knelt beside her and held his brother up as Lomasi gently and repeatedly poured the warming liquid down his throat, making sure he did not choke.

Two days passed before the storm finally started to subside. During that time, it seemed to Ben that Lomasi never left Joe’s side. Her ways were decisively different from theirs, and the Cartwrights watched helplessly as Lomasi continued to put herbal packs on Joe’s head to bring down his fever. But it was to no avail as Joe still had not awoken and his fever continued to climb.

At dinner, Lomasi broke the strained silence amongst them. “The spirits will help him once again,” she said. Turning to her, Hoss’ frustration came to the fore. “Spirits? I don’t believe that spirits are gonna help my brother, he still needs a doctor, and soon. Pa, how long are you gonna let her do these things to Joe? We have to get him back to civilization right quick!”

Ben’s brown eyes blazed at his middle son. “Hoss! Everyone has their own ways of tending to the sick. In Lomasi world she and her people saved your brother’s life once, and she has every right to her beliefs.” Hoss’ face reddened as he turned to Lomasi once more. “I’m so sorry, so sorry, it’s just that seein’ Joe lyin’ there helpless like that, and I can’t help him none…”

With kind eyes, Lomasi looked at the big, gentle man before her. “Hoss, I understand. Now that the weather has improved and Nawat is a little stronger, perhaps we can try to get him down from here and seek medical help.”

The next morning, Ben, Adam and Hoss packed their remaining supplies on their horses and the mule Lomasi had brought from the Army camp for the arduous ride down the mountain. They descended slowly and deliberately down the snow packed trail, with Hoss holding an unconscious Joe in front of him, wrapped from head to toe in blankets. It seemed like an eternity before they eventually arrived back at the Army camp they had left days ago.

What was only a matter of minutes seemed like an eternity as Joe was brought into a warm tent and met by an Army Doctor who had just arrived at the post. The minutes continued to tick off as wife, father and brothers anxiously awaited some news of the injured Joe.

When the doctor came out of the tent, the family rushed forward. Hoss, unable to contain himself was the first to speak. “What’s the diagnosis Doc? Is my little brother going to wake up and be okay?”

With a concerned countenance, the doctor began to speak. “I think your brother has sustained quite a few blows to the head in a relatively short time, which has caused this prolonged unconsciousness. Will he wake up? I don’t know the answer to that right now. Other than that, his pulse is regular and his vital signs are fine – whatever you folks did up there to treat him worked well.”

Hoss turned to Lomasi and gave her his best gap-toothed grin, sending her a message that words could not express. With furrowed eyebrows, Adam turned to the doctor. “When can we start for home? It sounds to me as if we could start off tomorrow if Joe is stable.”

Nodding, the Doctor replied, albeit a little cautiously. “Yes, you could start for home tomorrow – but slowly, I can’t emphasize that enough. Any more jolting of his head could send him deeper into unconsciousness and compromise his ability to wake up.”

In his heart, Adam knew that his brother would want to go home. But would he still be his brother when he awoke? With a sigh, Adam turned towards his family and Lomasi, the decision made. “Then we set off for the Ponderosa tomorrow!”

The sun was barely over the horizon when Lomasi and the Cartwrights started for home. Lomasi was in the back of the wagon, delicately holding her husband’s head to avoid injury. Hoss directed the wagon, veering from the many obstacles in the road adeptly while Ben and Adam followed behind on horseback.

It was a slow ride back to the Ponderosa and it was nightfall before the family decided to stop for the night. Joe hadn’t stirred during the entire trip, which worried everyone. Lomasi did not share her feelings of despair with Joe’s family – instead, she went to a remote part of the camp to be alone.

“What’s wrong with her?” Hoss asked impatiently. “Does she think she’s the only one who is upset around here?” Ben turned to his middle son. “No Hoss, I don’t think she believes that. But what I do think is that in her mind she sees herself alone, without her husband, and with a group of men who want to take her husband, as she knows him, away from her! And that cannot be a good feeling.”

Adam nodded in agreement. “Think about it Hoss. How would you feel if you were outnumbered by a group of, let’s call it what it is, strangers? How do you think you’d act?”

Hoss’ face started to redden as he gave thought to what he’d been told. Embarrassed, he turned to his father and said, “Well, I don’t like her feeling that way. I am gonna have a talk with her right here and now.”

Grabbing Hoss’ arm, Ben said, “That isn’t a good idea right now Hoss. Let her be alone with her thoughts. She has a lot on her mind, as do we. Let’s not interfere.” Hoss shook his head disparagingly and went to lie next to Joe.

As he settled into his bedroll, he whispered, “Don’t you worry none Shortshanks ~ I’ll talk to that little lady of yours ~ you just work on opening those big ol’ green eyes for all of us real soon, you hear?”

The new day came early. Up before dawn, Lomasi started breakfast then tended to Joe’s needs and prepared him for the upcoming journey as Adam, Ben and Hoss awoke to the smell of bacon and coffee. Looking for Lomasi, Ben turned to find her curled next to her husband, stroking his face and speaking to him tenderly in a language that none of the Cartwrights understood. Walking to where she lay, Ben could only muster up two words.

“Thank you” he said softly, as Lomasi looked up at him.

“You are quite welcome, Mr. Cartwright.” she replied as she stood up to join him. Putting out his hand, Lomasi took it gingerly and arose, Joe’s father and wife walking together to the camp fire, and joining Adam and Hoss as they began to eat.

The family rode the remaining stretch of the trip home in relative silence. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts, wishing, hoping, that Joe would come back to them. Hoss and Adam longed to have their excitable, devil may care little brother back with them, while Ben wished to see his youngest son return to the life he loved – breaking-in horses, tending to the needs of the Ponderosa. Meanwhile, Lomasi prayed for the return of her beloved Nawat, the white man who entered her life so unexpectedly but made her so very happy.

Hours later, the family arrived at the Ponderosa. Hearing hoof beats entering the yard, Hop Sing ran out the front door to greet the family he had missed so much. Hoss pulled on the reins softly, stopping the wagon. Tying their mounts, Ben and Adam ran towards the back of the wagon to unload Joe. Lomasi put Joe’s head delicately in Ben’s hands and he and Adam slowly made their way to the house. Once inside, both looked at each other as neither knew exactly where they should go next.

Hesitating slightly, Ben told Adam, “Let’s put Joe in the guest room down here. It’s only right that he be with his wife.” Adam’s face darkened as he heard his father’s words. “But Pa, what if he wakes up and doesn’t remember her?” he asked a little tetchily. “After all, he’s our broth…”

Lomasi entered the room as Adam spoke. The expression on her face dropped as she realized the conversation taking place before her. Immediately realizing his mistake, Adam said, “Lomasi, I am so sorry. I was wrong, I…”

“It is fine Adam, I understand your concerns,” Lomasi said quietly. “But he is my husband and for now he should stay with me.” Feeling a little guilty, Adam and Ben brought Joe into the guest room.

“I will take care of Nawat from here.” Lomasi said deliberately as she closed the door in front of them. Adam looked at Ben and Hoss incredulously. Ben shook his head and said, “We deserved that boys. As hard as is it, we have to understand that Lomasi has an interest in Joe’s well being – even more than ours perhaps. We need to show her a little more understanding than we have, despite what we think are our best intentions.”

As the brothers contemplated Bens’ words, Hop Sing padded into the Great Room, carrying Tehyn. “I give her to Mrs. Little Joe now,” he said proudly. Ben stood and walked over to Hop Sing. “It’s okay Hop Sing, I’ll take her to her mother,” Ben said. Hop Sing dutifully placed the child in Ben’s arms and headed back to the kitchen. His brown eyes misting, Ben looked at his granddaughter wistfully as he walked to the guest room door.

Knocking softly, Ben heard Lomasi say quietly, “Come in”. Ben opened the door to find her sitting at Joe’s bedside. Turning her head to see who had entered, Ben noticed tear streaked cheeks as she looked up at him. Her eyes brightened as she recognized the bundle safely nestled in Ben’s strong arms.

Rising, Lomasi quickly headed to Ben’s side. Ben’s baritone voice cracked as he whispered, “Here is your daughter,” and then placed Tehyn into Lomasi’s outstretched hands.

As he turned to leave the room, Lomasi spoke. “Mr. Cartwright, please stay here with me. I do not want to be alone.” Ben gently put his arm around Lomasi and said, “You are not alone, Lomasi. Despite our differences, our different worlds, we are your family, and we care for you.” Together they sat by Joe’s bedside where both anxiously watched and waited for their loved one to return to them.

The days went by with no change. Lomasi began to assimilate into the Cartwright family, all past discord behind them, and while the men took care of the ranch, Lomasi tended to Joe and Tehyn with Hop Sing’s help. After dinner, Lomasi took care of Tehyn while Ben, Hoss and Adam each took turns at Joe’s bedside, moving and massaging his limbs per Doc Martin’s instructions to keep them from wasting away during his coma like state.

Two weeks had passed when Ben was again sat at Joe’s bedside. Falling into his late evening routine, he opened a book and began to read to his son.

“Let’s see where we left off, Joseph. Oh yes, here we are ~ Chapter Ten. Sir Lancelot rode off…”
All seemed to be normal until Ben saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. Shocked, he dropped the book to the floor and ran out into the Great Room. “He’s moving, Joe’s moving!” Ben exclaimed. “Adam, go get Doc Martin, quick!”

The family crowded around Joe’s bedside as his head continued to move from side to side. A low moan began to emulate from his throat as his eyes fluttered open slowly and deliberately. Blinking furiously, Joe tried to focus his eyes. Looking up, he turned to the person on his left and softly said, “Pa?”

Ben bent down and with a thick voice replied, “I am here son. We’re all here.”

Joe continued to scan the room, looking for more familiar faces. Turning back to Ben, he coughed and pointed towards his throat. Hop Sing quickly poured a glass of water and helped Joe take a few sips. Looking up knowingly at his old oriental friend, he nodded his head in thanks.

With tears flowing unashamedly, Hoss grabbed his brother’s arm and said, “Shortshanks, you done gave us some scare. How are you feelin?”

Joe looked at his brother and replied, “I am okay I guess. A bit tired, a bit of a headache, but I think I’m fine.” Joe again scanned the room and settled his eyes on Lomasi, her tear streaked face looking at him intently. Her heart sank as she realized that there was no hint of recognition at all in her husband’s eyes.

Realizing what was happening, Ben went over to Lomasi. Bringing her towards Joe’s bedside, Ben began, “Joseph, I don’t know if you remember….”
But Lomasi quickly interrupted. “I am the daughter of an old friend of your father, we met long ago. I doubt you’d remember who I am.” His eyes closing, Joe softly mumbled, “You’re right m’am. I don’t right remember. In fact, I really don’t remember much right now….” And with those words, Joe once again fell fast asleep.

The family left the room quietly and settled back into the Great Room. Lomasi could see the looks of concern on the family’s faces and with a heavy sigh, she started to explain herself.

“Nawat has come back, but not to me. He has returned to you, Ben, and his brothers. The man who lies in that bed is not my husband. He is Joseph Cartwright, your son. It is not fair of me to expect him to remember any more than he has. He is alive again and for that I am happy.”

Hoss walked over to Lomasi, and then knelt beside her. Taking her hand, he asked her, “What are you saying then Lomasi? Are you and Tehyn gonna leave the Ponderosa?” Lomasi sadly nodded. “Yes Hoss that is my intention. Nawat is no more, so there is no life for me here – not the life that I expected with my husband. The same way you had trouble adapting to my ways, now I am alone I am unable to adapt to your ways of life. And that’s alright; we come from different worlds – worlds that under normal circumstances would never have met.”

The front door flew open as Adam and Doc Martin rushed in. As he regained his breath, Adam said, “Is he awake? Is Joe OK?” Ben smiled and nodded as he rose to escort the doctor into the guest room. Adam turned to Hoss and Lomasi and tried to read their faces. Looking at the two of them intensely, he asked, “What’s wrong you two? You don’t look as happy as I would’ve expected you to be. Is there something wrong with Joe?”

Hoss looked at Lomasi and answered his older brother. “Joe’s gonna be fine Adam, but there is a problem. Lomasi here wants to leave the Ponderosa with Tehyn because Joe didn’t recognize her.” Continuing in an upbeat tone, Hoss added, “I think he will remember eventually, don’t you?”

Pouring a brandy, Adam shook his head slowly. “I’m not a doctor Hoss, so I really can’t answer that question. Let’s see what Doc Martin has to say before anyone makes any decisions.”

Eventually, the guest room door opened, with Ben and Doc Martin coming to sit in the Great Room. Pouring a brandy for him and his guest, Ben asked, “What do you think Paul? Is Joseph going to be all right?”

Accepting the brandy, Paul smiled. “Yes, that son of yours has beaten the odds again Ben. Don’t know how he keeps doing it; I thought he used up those nine lives of his long ago.”

Adam turned to ask the doctor a question. “Doc, how is his memory? How much does he remember? Will he remember more than he does now?”

Impatient that Adam hadn’t asked what he wanted answered, Hoss interrupted with what he thought was the most important question. “Bottom line Doc – will Joe remember Lomasi and Tehyn?”

Doc Martin’s face turned serious as he looked to Lomasi. He replied, “At this point, I don’t believe that he will. When I asked him what his last memories were, he said that he remembered fighting with Captain White in a cave. Before that, he remembered coming home on the stage. He has no recollection at all of his life in between.”

Hoss looked up at Lomasi, who looked back at him with sad eyes. “I will leave to go back to my people in the north who survived the Army attack,” she said. “It is the Spirits who have decided that things have turned out this way and I must accept Nawat’s choice. He is now Joseph.” She walked over to Ben and asked, “Ben, do you have another room for me to sleep in tonight? I cannot stay in Nawa – – Joseph’s room any longer.”

Taking her delicate hands in his, Ben asked her, “Are you sure this is what you want Lomasi? You know that you and Tehyn are a part of our family. This house is your house.” Lomasi nodded sadly.

“Thank you Ben. I know that we are a part of your family, but you know as well as I that it has been hard on all of us. Without my husband, I must to go back to my people.” With that, she took Tehyn from her cradle by the crackling fire and followed Ben upstairs.

When Ben returned, he found his two sons sitting by the fire, deep in thought.

“A penny for them boys,” Ben said as he sat beside them.

Pulling his shirtwaist out of his pants as he sat, Adam began. “Pa, I am relieved and happy that Joe is okay, and that he has come back to us in every way – yet, I think I speak for both Hoss and I that we feel guilty – very guilty in fact, about feeling this way. I can’t imagine Lomasi and Tehyn leaving the Ponderosa, but I completely understand why Lomasi feels it is necessary. Do we just let her go Pa?”

Hoss’ face reddened as he listened to his brother. As much as he agreed with every word, his heart told him that he needed to try and do something more. He rose abruptly, mumbling a quick “Nite” to both Ben and Adam as he took the stairs two at a time. Scratching his head, Adam inquired, “What do you think that’s about?” as Ben just looked up the stairs and shook his head.

Upstairs, Hoss knocked gingerly on Lomasi’s door. “Come in” she said, and was surprised to see Hoss’ massive presence walk inside. “Do you have a minute, Lomasi?” Hoss asked bashfully. Lomasi nodded in agreement as Hoss took residence in an old desk chair.

As Hoss began to speak, he found the words difficult to say as he wanted. Slightly stuttering, he began, “L-Lomasi, I realize things have happened very quickly, but are you doing the right thing? We can all see how much you love my little brother. Surely you could stay around for a while, get to know him. Maybe he would fall in love with you again!”

Lomasi put her hand against the door, trying to keep herself upright as the words Hoss had just spoken reverberated in her mind. Taking a deep sigh, Lomasi turned to Hoss and with tear filled eyes answered him.

“Hoss, your words come as a quite a surprise to me. But you must know it could never be. We are of different cultures, different peoples. While he forgot his white man’s world, we could be as one, but now….it can never be. As far as I am concerned, my husband is dead. I now mourn the loss of my beloved, the only man I have ever loved. He was my protector, my partner, my lover, the father of my child. Please say you can understand why I do this?”

As she spoke, Hoss’ understood her feelings perfectly and nodded sadly then as he got up to leave, he took Lomasi into his arms. Tears fell from his face as he told her, “I do understand Lomasi. But please promise me that you won’t forget us, or let Tehyn forget her Pa.” Lomasi looked up into Hoss’ face and smiled.

“Tehyn will know of her father and his bravery, and how he loved and protected us from all harm. I promise you Hoss, the memory of Nawat will never be forgotten – not by Tehyn, or by me.”

 

Chapter 6 – Conclusion