Summary: After an accident, Little Joe is saved by an outlaw…and then held captive by him and his gang. Joe has to decide whether to turn him in, or trust him to do the right thing…

Rating:  PG-13  (14, 440 words)

 

A Question of Guilt

Joe screamed as his hands slipped. He saw the rocks rushing away from him as he fell. I wonder if I’m going to die…

 

The throbbing in his head was the first thing he was aware of. The pain seemed to get worse as he woke up more, and when he tried to open his eyes the sharp glare of sunlight almost made him vomit. He quickly closed his eyes, lying still until the waves of nausea passed. Once he was able to look up again, he saw dark shapes in front of him. They appeared to be moving, and blocked out some of the light. He blinked, and once his vision had cleared, realized that a handful of men stood over him.

 

“It’s about time you woke up.”

 

Joe opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He choked slightly, and one of the men lifted his head, holding a canteen to his mouth. He gulped the water, until the man pulled the canteen away, and let him settle back to the ground. “Thank you,” he whispered.

 

“You had a nasty fall,” the man said.

 

Lifting his hand to his head, Joe felt the bandage over the spot that hurt the worst. He looked back up at the men as his thoughts cleared. He started to realize that he was in a sheltered area, tall rocks rose up on all sides, and the sky was almost white from the intensity of the sun. He was covered in a blanket, and nearby was the remains of a campfire.

 

“What’s your name?” the man asked.

 

“Little Joe Cartwright,” he answered, the sun and the pain clouding his thoughts.

 

“Cartwright.”

 

He missed the realization in the man’s voice. “Who are you?” he asked. When the man didn’t say anything, Joe looked at him closer. He seemed to recognize him, somehow. Squinting, he tried to imagine where. “Do I know you?”

 

The man shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

 

Joe stared at him, and then looked at the others. He counted five men around him, and could see there were a couple others a little distance away. Questions were racing through his head as he pushed himself up a little, trying to look around.

 

“Stay down,” the man said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

Joe sat up a little more. “No, I’m fine, really.”

 

“I told you to stay down,” the man said, shoving him back down with a hand against his chest.

 

Joe was startled by the sudden change. “What’s going on? Who are you?” The meanness in the man’s eyes seemed to jog a memory, and suddenly everything clicked into place. “You’re wanted.”

 

“You must have seen the posters.”

 

“Jesse Schuyler, wanted for robbery and murder,” Joe answered quietly. “There’s a posse after you and your men. They’ve been combing this area for days.”

 

Jesse’s smile was anything but benevolent. “It’s an excellent hiding place. It’s very hard to get into, and well hidden.”

 

It took a few seconds for Joe to build up courage to ask his next question. “Are you going to kill me?” He dreaded hearing the answer, but he had to know.

 

“No. We would have just left you where we found you if that’s what we intended.”

 

The throbbing in his head worsened as he tried to understand. “So what are you going to do?”

 

“I haven’t decided yet, Cartwright boy.”

 

Joe looked up, startled. Shaking his head, he tried to form his thoughts into words. “You can’t…my father…it’s not…”

 

Jesse laughed. “What? Are you afraid I’m going to hold you hostage?” He leaned closer. “Afraid that I’ll use you to demand massive amounts of money from your father, and in return I won’t put a bullet in your pretty head?”

 

Joe’s eyes tightened into a glare, and he sat up angrily. “You didn’t find yourself a willing hostage, mister.” Before he could move, hands were pushing him back to the ground roughly, and Jesse leaned over him, laughing. “Oh, this is going to be fun,” he chuckled, and then stood up. “Tie him up, boys. We don’t want him going anywhere just yet.”

 

Joe found himself being rolled to his stomach. The pounding in his head quickened, and he fought against nausea. Ropes bit into his wrists and ankles, and within a few moments he was helpless. They let go of him, and he rolled onto his side, where the sick feeling lessened slightly. “You can’t keep me here,” he choked. “You will get caught when my family comes looking for me.”

 

Jesse turned back. “They’ll never find you. You’re miles away from where you fell, we’re very careful, and this area’s very sheltered. They won’t find you.” Jesse walked away.

 

“How do you expect to get away with this?” Joe asked, but the man didn’t acknowledge him. He wished his head didn’t hurt so much…it was making it hard to think.

 

Joe heard footsteps grow closer and then a man walked into his line of sight. “Here, kid,” the man said, gesturing with a canteen. Kneeling down, he helped Joe drink. “My name’s Cash. Jesse kind of appointed me to take care of you, so if you need anything, ask.”

 

Joe settled back to the ground. “I need you to let me go,” he said quietly.

 

Cash laughed. “That’s not gonna happen, kid. Do you want something to eat?”

 

Joe thought of food, but then the queasiness in his stomach worsened. “Not yet,” he replied quietly.

 

“Well, you just rest up here. I’ll bring you something to eat in a few hours.”

 

As the man stood, Joe called after him. “You think you could untie me?”

 

Cash glanced back with a shake of his head. “Nope.” He walked away.

 

Joe closed his eyes. For awhile he just lay still, listening to the men talking a distance away, and trying to work the ropes loose. After awhile, he stopped. His wrists hurt too much to continue, and the rope hadn’t loosened at all. For the rest of the day, into the evening, all he could think about was his father and brothers, and wondering how long it would take to come look for him.

 

*****

 

Adam paused in the dim hallway next to his youngest brother’s room. Swinging open the door, he could see the bed was untouched. With a sigh, he turned and went downstairs. Ben was seated at the dining room table. “Morning, Pa,” Adam said.

 

“Your brother didn’t come home last night.”

 

Adam sat down. “I saw that. I’ll say two o’clock this time.”

 

“What’s at two?” Hoss asked as he walked into the room. “Morning Pa.”

 

Ben nodded towards him. “Your brother is guessing the time that Joseph will make his presence known on the ranch again.”

 

“Ah,” Hoss replied. “I pick four. And I think this time he’s gonna say he fell and got hurt, so we won’t come down so hard.”

 

“I don’t care what he says,” Ben answered. “He’s going to have so much work he’ll have to finish, he won’t be stepping foot off the ranch for a month. The least he could do is tell us where he’s going, or how long he expects to be out, that way we know when to start looking for him.”

 

“Do you want us to go look for him now?” Adam asked.

 

“No, not yet. We have too much to do around here today, and he’ll likely come strolling back in time for dinner.”

 

*****

 

“Get down!” the man snapped.

 

Joe paused where he was on the side of the wall. He had scurried up as soon as no one was watching, hoping to get up far enough to see a way out of this canyon. Looking back down at the man named Davey, Joe laughed. “What are you going to do? You can’t reach me.”

 

Davey pulled out his gun. “My bullet can.”

 

“Alert the posse with a gun shot? No, you wouldn’t do that.” Joe turned, and started up the wall again, but froze as something struck close to his hand. He looked down to see Davey picking up another rock.

 

“Get down, now.”

 

With a frustrated sigh, Joe slipped back down the wall where Davey took hold of his collar. He found himself being propelled back towards the dead campfire where he was shoved to the ground. “You asked me not to tie you today, and I was nice. You lost it, now.” Joe clenched his teeth as the man wound the rope tightly over the chaffing on his wrists left from the past few days. The man tugged the knot firmly, and Joe couldn’t hold back a yelp. “See if you get anything else,” he snapped, kicking Joe in the side as he stood.

 

“You can’t-”

 

“Keep your mouth shut or I’ll gag you too.”

 

Joe glared at him as he walked away, and then, frustrated, he slumped onto the ground, struggling to loosen the ropes. The last few days had been pretty much the same- no one really talked to him, and no one answered when he asked questions. Mostly he was confined to the bedroll, and sometimes tied during the day. The only time he wasn’t tied or watched closely was at night, when they each took turns keeping watch at the entrance to the canyon. They must have figured that he wouldn’t be foolhardy enough to try to make it over the canyon wall at night. He hoped that his attempt to climb the wall wouldn’t lead to suspicion, because tonight that’s exactly what he planned to do. He knew that his father and brothers had to be out looking, now that he had been gone three nights; although realizing that made him feel worse. He never should have left the ranch without telling them where he was heading. They might have actually found him by now.

 

Just before dusk, Jesse, Cash, and a few others arrived back at camp. Joe watched as they unpacked supplies from their horses while Davey talked to them. Joe saw them glance in his direction, and he looked away, knowing that his almost-escape was being reported.

 

Eventually, Joe heard footsteps heading his way, and he looked up as Jesse and Cash stopped in front of him.

 

“Not happy here?” Jesse asked as Cash untied him.

 

Joe grimaced as he rubbed his hands over his wrists, which were raw and scraped in a few spots. “I wasn’t trying to escape, if that’s what you mean.”

 

“Oh, well, tell me what you were doing then.”

 

Joe held his temper with effort at the man’s sarcastic response. “Well, actually I was just stretching a little. See, you have me tied up so often, my muscles were getting stiff.”

 

Jesse smiled for a second, and then backhanded him. Joe started, but Jesse’s men appeared almost out of nowhere and grabbed him, keeping him from moving even a foot towards Jesse. “Let go!” Joe demanded angrily.

 

“All right, let him go,” Jesse said as he sat down, and the men pushed Joe back to the ground. “Be patient, kid. It shouldn’t be too much longer until we’re out of here.”

 

“Are you going to kill me then, or let me go?”

 

Jesse snorted. “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already, and I wouldn’t be dealing with your pathetic attempts to escape.” He shook his head, and almost seemed to say something else, but then just shook his head again.

 

“What’s in it for you?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Joe shrugged, and then met his gaze evenly. “I don’t trust you. I’ve heard about you and everything you’ve done. There’s no reason you would just let me go.”

 

“You’ve heard a lot then, I’m sure,” Jesse snapped.

 

“I know you’re wanted for twelve different murders, and you’ve held up countless banks and stages, and you’ve shot men in the back.”

 

“Keep your mouth shut!” Jesse yelled. He stood up, pacing a few steps away before turning back angrily. “Oh sure, you know so much about me, and what I’ve done. What about the murder in Placerville last Spring, the one the sheriff pinned on me? How about any time a bank or a stage is robbed within five days travel, it gets pinned on me, huh? What about the men who were shot in the back…while I was standing in front of them! That’s some mighty fine shooting there! Look at me; I can shoot a man in the back from any angle!” Jesse stormed away, swearing under his breath and leaving Joe staring after him, shaking his head.

 

“He’s lying.”

 

“No he’s not,” Cash responded.

 

Joe looked up at him. “Are you telling me that he’s never killed anyone, or held up a stage?”

 

“You don’t need to tell him anything!” Jesse interrupted, walking back towards them. He leaned over Joe, grabbing his collar. “I don’t care what you think, or what you believe. All I care about is getting out of here, and being far enough away so that when you bring the posse back here, you’ll never find me again.”

 

“You’re going to get caught eventually.”

 

Jesse chuckled. “Well, I’d rather it not be by a hot-headed lynch mob disguising itself as a posse, and headed by Little Joe Cartwright and his family.”

 

Angry, Joe tried to push his hand away, but the man roughly shoved him backwards.

 

“You lay down right there, and if you don’t want to be tied and gagged, don’t move or say anything, you hear me?”

 

Joe knew enough from the last few days that this wasn’t an idle threat; and as there was no way he wanted to risk his escape attempt later, he rolled over, away from the men. After a while, he heard a couple horses riding out, and he looked to see Jesse and one of the others leaving. Trying to hide his happiness, Joe rolled back over. It would be easier now, as it was likely they’d stay out all night.

 

The evening pretty much went the same as any other. Just after dark the men started a fire and cooked dinner. After he was finished eating, Joe was ordered to go to sleep, and just like any other night he lay facing away from them, listening to the hushed whispers around the fire. After a while, the whispers ceased, and he could tell some of them were asleep. Joe wasn’t the slightest bit tired. He knew what he was doing was risky, but he couldn’t bear to be their prisoner another day.

 

There had been no sounds of movement for awhile when he carefully rolled over to see if anyone was still up. The fire was dying, and he counted four men lying near it. A fifth man was just a shadow at the entrance. Joe took a deep breath and pushed aside the blankets. He quietly made his way to the far wall, and then carefully started up, doing his best to find foot and handholds in the dark.

 

“Freeze.”

 

Joe stopped, his heart thumping and disappointment rushing through him. He felt hands around his waist and he was pulled off the wall, and then dragged back to the fire. Joe couldn’t tell who was in front if him, the light of the fire was dim and he could barely see his face. The other men were up and standing around him.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

 

Joe recognized Davey’s voice, and he slowly shook his head. “You can’t keep me here…”

 

“Oh, is that it? See, I thought it was just that you needed to stretch again.”

 

Even though he couldn’t see his face, Joe looked away from him.

 

“That’s right. Well, I’ll tell you what, kid. Since you can’t sleep, I’ll let you move around, and stretch some of those muscles, all right?”

 

It was the malice-tinged tone that started to scare him, and Joe looked guardedly at two of the men who started to tie Joe’s hands behind his back. “What are you doing?”

 

Davey looked up as he tossed a few more logs on the fire, stoking it up. “Giving you what you want.” Davey’s laugh only made it worse. “Leave that end long,” he directed the men. Davey took hold of the length of rope, which was a good 10 feet long, and then shoved Joe towards the back of the canyon again. Joe was stopped when the rope was yanked back, and he turned and looked at the man. The others stood around, some of them holding whips, and others, sticks. “You know how they break horses, kid?”

 

Joe could feel his heart pounding faster.

 

“They work them, until they’re exhausted and all the fight’s out of them.”

 

Joe shook his head. “You can’t work people the same way.”

 

“Hmm,” Davey responded. “Well, we’ll try it anyway.”

 

Joe jumped to avoid getting struck by a whip.

 

“Keep moving!” Davey barked. “If you stop, you’re getting the worst beating of your life.”

 

Joe ducked as another man struck at him, and then moved away from them.

 

Until dawn, Joe was run around in circles, and whenever he stopped, trying to catch his breath or rest for a moment, the men came after him. He was getting more and more tired; he felt as if his feet couldn’t even support him anymore. Several times he tripped, and each time it got harder to get back up. The men pushed him, made fun of him, and tried to trip him, succeeding several times.

 

Finally, he collapsed and just lay on the ground. “Stop…” he gasped. “Please…”

 

“Get up,” Davey said.

 

“Stop…I can’t…”

 

“Get up.”

 

Joe looked up at him, blinking away sweat dripping down his face. “I can’t…I can’t…”

 

“Pick him up.” The men lifted him, and then carried him back to his bedroll, dropping him unkindly on the ground.

 

“No…” said Davey. “Keep him up. Don’t let him fall asleep today.”

 

The men laughed. “That’ll take the fight out of him,” one of them said.

 

Joe wasn’t offered anything to eat when the rest of them had breakfast, and once they were done, one of them pulled him up and led him over to the wall. “Stand there,” the man directed.

 

Joe closed his eyes as the man rolled a cigarette.

 

“No!” the man snapped, forcing Joe to look at him again. “Eyes open.”

 

Joe bit his lip as he stared at the ground. He was so exhausted, he hardly knew what was going on. “Why…” he whispered, shaking his head. “Look, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again…”

 

“Just be quiet, will you?”

 

“Can I sit down?” Joe asked quietly.

 

“No.”

 

It wasn’t until after dark that Jesse got back. Joe was exhausted, physically and mentally drained. The men hadn’t left him alone all day. They made him walk, threw water on him to keep him awake, and yelled at him. When he started to fall asleep in spite of it, they had beat him.

 

Jesse talked to Davey for a while, and then walked over to where Joe was tied, standing, to a rock. “Come on, we’re gonna talk a little while,” he said, untying the ropes and leading him back towards the fire.

 

Joe collapsed onto his knees, barely able to keep his eyes open.

 

“Look at me.”

 

With effort, Joe forced his gaze towards the man.

 

“You want to tell me the truth? What were you doing on the wall?”

 

Joe choked in a breath. “Trying to escape…I was trying to get…get away.”

 

“Why?”

 

Joe rubbed his stinging eyes, trying hard to keep them open. “I want to go home…” he whispered.

 

“I told you, Joe, I’ll let you go home once I figure out a way out of here without the posse finding me.”

 

Joe didn’t even have the energy to move, or even raise his voice. “What you’re doing is wrong…”

 

“Wrong? What am I doing that’s wrong?.”

 

To Joe’s frustration, he felt as though he had no control at all over his emotions, and was about ready to cry. “Leave me alone…just let me sleep…”

 

“Of course I’ll let you sleep. Tell you what, if you agree not to try to escape again, you can go to sleep right now.”

 

Joe looked up at him, eyes burning from exhaustion. “I won’t…” He was so tired, he could barely think straight.

 

“You won’t what, Joe?”

 

“I won’t…escape…again…” Joe forced out.

 

“Are you sure you mean that?”

 

“Yes…I won’t try to get away again…”

 

Jesse reached out and pulled him up, and almost carried him to his bedroll. “There you go.”

 

“Thank you…” Joe whispered as he collapsed on the bedroll, asleep in moments.

 

*****

 

When Joe opened his eyes, he wasn’t sure where he was. He sat up, looking around, and then realized he was inside a barn, wrapped in a blanket. Nearby there was a stack of blankets, folded, and from the trampled straw, Jesse and his men must have spent the night here as well. Where they were now, he had no idea.

 

Joe got up, shaking the blanket off, and folded it, placing it on the stack with the others. He walked a few feet, and then realized he was in a loft. Finding the ladder, he climbed down into the main floor.

 

“Hello there.”

 

Joe turned towards the voice to see a woman nearby, milking a cow.

 

“Hi…” he said, uncertain of what was going on.

 

“Jesse said when you were up to send you inside.”

 

Joe uneasily ran his hand through his hair, scratching his head. “All right…thank you…ma’am…” He walked outside, and then towards the little house across the clearing. He paused outside the door, wondering if he ought to knock, or even go in at all. Glancing once around the clearing, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

 

Jesse and the rest of the men were standing, sitting around the room, plates of food in their hands. They were talking and laughing, and a few looked up when he walked in the room, grinning at him.

 

“Joe, there you are! Up, finally?” Jesse got up, leading Joe towards the kitchen. “Here, let’s get you something to eat…”

 

Within minutes, Joe had a cup of coffee and a plate loaded with food, and was being guided to a chair in the main room. As he ate, he listened to the others talking, and it was a completely different mood than the last few days. They were loud, and lively, carefree, as if nothing was wrong. “Miles, that girl of yours sure can cook!” one of the men called out, and the man named Miles loudly agreed, as did a bunch of others.

 

Joe’s empty plate was taken, and once the others had finished eating, they settled down a little; a few of them settled on the floor, napping, some pulled out a stack of cards, and a few others were talking quietly. Joe remained where he was, sitting on the chair at the side of the room. He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, or what he was supposed to do, and he doubted asking questions would earn a response, as it never had before.

 

“Want to play this round, kid?” one of the men playing cards asked, looking up at him.

 

Joe shook his head, a little confused. “No thanks…I’m fine…” After a few moments, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he stood up and walked to the door. No one looked up or said anything, or even tried to stop him as he opened the door and went out. He walked around the corner of the house and then sat down, leaning against the wall.

 

It was a while later, he wasn’t sure how long, that Jesse walked around the corner. At first Joe thought he was looking for him, but then was puzzled when the man didn’t even acknowledge him and went on towards the back of the house. As Jesse was coming back, Joe looked up at him. “How long was I asleep, anyway?”

 

Jesse came to a stop next to him, and laughed. “You were asleep almost a full day. You didn’t even wake up during the trip here. You must have been tired…”

 

Joe looked down. He couldn’t bring himself to even pretend to laugh. “Yeah…”

 

Jesse crouched down next to him. “What’s the matter?”

 

Frustrated, Joe looked up. “Does nobody think there’s something wrong here but me? I just…What am I doing here? Why did you bring me?” He looked away again. “What do you want?”

 

“I’ve told you that before. I want to get out of here, and go where no one will find me. What exactly is supposed to be wrong?”

 

“I just…me…what about me?”

 

“What about you?”

 

Joe dropped his head onto his hands. After several long seconds, he sighed. “I’m so confused…” he said quietly, mostly to himself. Had he looked up then, he would have seen the satisfied smirk his statement brought Jesse, knowing that he was succeeding in keeping the boy off-balance.

 

“Listen. Until I can safely release you, without you bringing every lynch mob in the west down on our heads, you’re just going to have to tag along.”

 

Joe looked up at him. “The posse that’s after you isn’t a lynch mob.”

 

Jesse slowly shook his head. “I know you’d like to think otherwise, but it doesn’t really matter. If they hang me when they catch me or hang me after a trial…I’m still dead.”

 

“If a jury finds you guilty, then don’t you think you deserve it?”

 

“If a jury finds me guilty of something I didn’t do, do I still deserve it?”

 

“There’s fair trials…there’s honest juries…you can’t know that they’d find you guilty regardless…”

 

“What about you, Joe? Would you give me a fair trial?”

 

Joe looked away from him, uncomfortably fingering the buttons on his cuff.

 

“Would you listen to everything I had to say, objectively? Would you look for the truth?”

 

He couldn’t bring himself to look up. “You have killed people. And you have done things that were wrong.”

 

“I admit to it. But there were reasons, Joe.”

 

“Such as?”

 

Jesse stood up. “I’m not on trial yet, kid. Come on, let’s go inside.” Joe got up and followed him inside.

 

A few hours later, one of the men suddenly hissed, “Hush!” All of them froze, listening as the sounds of horses grew louder. The men moved quickly and quietly, getting out of the direct line of sight from the doors and windows, guns ready. Jesse grabbed Joe’s arm, pulling him towards the wall, and then stood behind him with an arm around his chest, pining his arms. He wasn’t holding tightly, though, and Joe knew he could easily break away; that is, if he wanted to face the half-dozen other men with guns.

 

Miles’ girl walked to the door, opening it and leaving it open as she stepped outside. “Hello there!” she called out. “You need something?”

 

“We’re looking for a young man who’s been missing several days,” Joe heard a man answer, and Jesse’s hand instantly covered his mouth, making it hard to even breathe. The rest of the conversation was lost as Joe struggled to pull the man’s hand from his face, finally gaining enough leverage in order to inflict a bite. With a sharp hiss, Jesse pulled his hand away and Joe turned towards him, deliberately ignoring the rage in the man’s eyes. “It’s perfect!” he whispered urgently. “Let me go; I can make up some reason as to why I was here, and-“ Joe was yanked forward by Jesse’s hand on the back of his head, face first into the man’s shoulder, and Jesse’s gun jabbed sharply into his side.

 

“Don’t you ever do that again,” the man growled into his ear. Joe heard the man outside finish up his conversation with the woman, and then, satisfied that there was nothing wrong, ride away with the rest of the men.

 

The front door closed, and the men remained still for several long minutes more. Finally, satisfied that the riders were truly gone, one of the men remained at the window while the rest put their guns away and moved back to what they had been doing.

 

Jesse pulled Joe away from him by his hair, and then shoved him backwards. Joe fell awkwardly into a man’s leg, trying to move away before Jesse reached him again. “I’m sorry! I thought-“

 

“You thought? In case you haven’t realized by now, I don’t give a damn about what you think!”

 

Joe kept moving backwards, trying to put anything within reach between them. He felt someone behind him, and he tried to move to the side but the man grabbed his arms, pulling him to the front so he was directly facing Jesse.

 

Joe stared at the Jesse’s hand, balled into a fist, and tried to pull away from the man holding him. “I wasn’t trying to turn you in- honestly! I just want you to let me go!”

 

Jesse pulled his hand back and punched Joe in the stomach. “That was for questioning me,” Jesse said as the man yanked Joe back up. “And this…” Joe grunted and doubled over, almost collapsing onto his knees at the next blow. “That was for biting me. Tie him up, and gag him if he makes a sound.” Joe was dragged to a chair, and his hands were tightly bound to the sides. “Maybe next time you won’t be so inclined to think,” Jesse snapped at him, and then left the cabin.

 

Joe stared at his lap as the men finished tying him and then went back to what they had been doing. He felt angry and frustrated, and a little betrayed. For a brief moment today, he hadn’t quite felt like a prisoner; and he only fully realized it now, now that he was restrained again. It confused him, however. It shouldn’t have been different. He was still a prisoner, whether he was tied up or not. Then why didn’t you try to escape? his conscious questioned, and Joe was honestly startled. The men sitting nearby looked up curiously at his audible gasp.

 

Cash stood up, moving closer, and Joe seemed to see a completely different person in front of him. This man wasn’t concerned about him; he was only concerned about his own neck. “What are you doing to me?” Joe demanded. The man didn’t say anything, just raised his eyebrows slightly, and Joe realized that Cash knew exactly what he was doing, even if Joe didn’t. Joe started to pull against his bonds. “Let me go- let me go right now! Let me go! Let me go!” The men didn’t move, watching him as he fiercely struggled. “Let go of me!” he yelled. “You can’t keep me here anymore! I won’t cooperate- I won’t! Either let me go, or you’ll have to kill me now! Let! Me! Go!”

 

One of the men stood up, grabbing a napkin from the table, and moved towards Joe. “No!” Joe yelled, fighting harder. “No! No!” The cloth was shoved into his mouth and tightly tied behind his head, silencing him. Joe kicked out at the man as he walked away, and then tugged sharply against the ropes, fighting as hard as he could. Vaguely, he realized the chair was falling. His shoulder hit the floor, followed by his head, which stunned him for a moment. There was a sharp pain in his arm, and he tried to roll the chair off of himself but as he was still tied, was completely unsuccessful. The men were still watching him, and his frustration was building. He yelled as loudly as he could through the gag, and tried to kick out, to break the chair at the very least.

 

Joe suddenly realized he was being set upright again, and he blinked to find Jesse in front of him, and the gag was pulled away.

 

“Let me go!” Joe snapped, tugging at the ropes.

 

“Why?”

 

Joe glared at him. “You can’t do this…I won’t let you do this to me. You’re keeping me here against my will. I’ll either fight you, or escape, or you’ll have to kill me. I’m not doing this anymore.”

 

“You told me you wouldn’t escape, Joe. That’s why I haven’t been tying you. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

 

Joe didn’t know what to make of the man. Not five minutes ago, Jesse had been furious with him, but now, he was calm, patient, as if he hadn’t just yelled at and hit him. Joe felt as if he couldn’t breathe; he gasped for air and closed his eyes, fighting against tears. “Let me go,” he begged.

 

“Joe. I’ve told you already, I will.”

 

“No, no, you’ve told me that, you’ve told me a lot of things, haven’t you? Well I’m telling you something, mister. I’m not doing this anymore.”

 

“Not doing what anymore?”

 

Joe honestly didn’t know. “I’m not…doing…going along with it. I’m not going to make it easy on you. Next time, I will escape! I will, just as soon as your back is turned. You can’t watch me all the time. You’ll either have to watch me, or keep me tied up, because I won’t escape. I won’t! And you can’t stop me!” Joe didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, and he felt the pent up tears slip down his cheeks. “I want to go home…” Jesse leaned over and undid the ropes, and then pulled Joe to his feet. “Let me go…” Joe mumbled, trying to pull his arm out of the man’s grip.

 

“Let’s go for a walk,” Jesse said. “Cash, Davey…” The two men followed them out, but remained a little distance away. Jesse pushed Joe with his back against the side of the barn, and Joe sank down onto the ground where he brought his knees close to his chest, hiding his face in his arms. He just breathed…he wasn’t sure what had happened, what was happening.

 

Joe felt hands on his arms, and could tell Jesse was in front of him. “Please…just leave me alone…” he whispered.

 

“What’s wrong, kid?”

 

Joe could only shake his head. “I don’t know…”

 

“You wouldn’t rather stayed tied up all the time, would you?”

 

Joe looked up at him, slowly shaking his head. “I honestly don’t know…I think…that it would be easier…”

 

Jesse shrugged, squeezing Joe’s arms a little. “Well, kid…it’s kind of up to you. If you want me to tie you up, I will. If you don’t want to be tied, I can do that too, but you have to remember your agreement not to escape.”

 

Joe frowned. “This isn’t a contract…if I don’t try to escape, you won’t tie me. You’re holding me captive…against my will. And now…” Joe looked back down, wishing that Jesse would let go of his arms. “You can’t make this better.”

 

“I suppose that it was hard to hear that those men were looking for you.”

 

Joe swallowed, and tried not to flinch. He’d already shown way too much weakness to this man, but he couldn’t not ask. “Was my family…with them?” Joe looked up at him, but he could tell what the answer was.

 

“No, they weren’t.”

 

Joe sighed, and looked down again. “Who were they?”

 

“I don’t know. Men your family has looking for you. You see, if we hadn’t saved your life, your family would have found your body and that would have been that. But now, having discovered signs of where you fell, but no Little Joe, they’ve realized that you’re alive somewhere, and they’ve got the entire region out searching for you.”

 

Joe glanced up. “You’re going to kill me to give them a body to find.”

 

Jesse laughed, shaking his head. “You can’t get past that, can you? No, as I’ve told you a million times, we’re going to let you go. I just haven’t figured out how yet. You see, as soon as they find any sign of us, that posse will be after our necks.”

 

“I keep telling you, it’s not a lynch mob…” Joe said quietly.

 

“Let me ask you this…every time I tell you that we’re not going to kill you, do you believe me?” When Joe didn’t say anything, the man let go of him and stood up. “We’ve treated you a lot better than any ‘posse’ will treat us.”

 

Joe bit his lip as he looked away. It was true. Joe stretched out his legs and leaned back against the barn. “Why don’t you just turn yourself in to the sheriff in town?”

 

“Why should I?”

 

Joe shrugged. “You’ve acknowledged you’ve committed crimes. Eventually, you’re going to get caught. You know that. May as well do yourself a favor by turning yourself in first.”

 

Jesse laughed. “This isn’t about me, kid. Besides, I’m not ready to hang yet.”

 

“There’s no guarantee that-“

 

“My answer is no, boy.”

 

Joe sat up a little. “If you had a good lawyer, and a fair trial-“

 

“What does this mean to you?” Jesse knelt down in front of Joe again. “Why are you so intent on turning me in? I haven’t done anything to you, have I?”

 

Joe looked away.

 

“Answer me.”

 

“No, you haven’t done anything to me,” Joe answered, bitterly. “You haven’t done one wrong thing to me. My family hasn’t been searching, worrying about me for a week. I don’t have bruises all over from your men. You haven’t kept me here against my will, and then made it so hard to escape when I wasn’t…” Joe shook his head, frustrated. He shouldn’t have admitted that last part.

 

“Wasn’t what?”

 

“Please…just leave me alone…”

 

“Joe.” Jesse paused for a long moment. “Would it make it easier to know that I had someone watching you, the whole time?”

 

“What?” Joe looked up at him.

 

“That’s right. You couldn’t have escaped even if you’d wanted to.”

 

“I did want to,” Joe said quietly. “I still want to. I want to get out of here, and then do what I can to make sure you end up in jail, and stand trial for the things you have done.”

 

Jesse laughed. “I’m not done living yet, kid.” Joe sighed as Jesse stood up, and then reached down and pulled him to his feet as well. “Be patient, son. Just a few more days, I promise. Would you rather I tie you up, or have someone watch you?”

 

Joe glared at him, but then, seeing as he was waiting for an answer, grudgingly replied, “Only if it’s Cash.” Joe preferred him to the others who had a tendency to let their mean streak show.

 

Jesse smiled. “All right. We’ll go inside and then you should get some rest. You must be tired.”

 

*****

 

The next few days passed slowly. Even though he was allowed almost free reign, Cash followed him wherever he went. Joe didn’t mind his company.

 

Jesse had been checking on him fairly regularly as well, and Joe hated that he was starting to look forward to the man’s company, to his questions about how he was doing and whether he needed anything. Joe hadn’t asked to go home or be set free since his outburst after the search party had shown up, and he wasn’t sure if the better treatment he was receiving was because of that.

 

Joe went ahead of Cash into the house for supper. The others were already sitting around, eating; but Joe could tell that something was wrong. There was tension in the air, and they looked towards him as he walked towards the kitchen, not saying anything. Miles’ girl- Joe still didn’t know her name- handed him a plate of food, and he reluctantly went back into the other room.

 

Joe sat down on the floor near the fireplace, and well away from the others. As Joe ate, one of the men started to speak, loudly, tossing his empty plate on the table. “I think I speak for everyone when I say I disagree with Jesse.”

 

Joe didn’t look up. He didn’t want to make eye contact; didn’t want to draw attention to himself.

 

“I agree,” another man said, standing and walking up to Joe. “I don’t see why we can’t just dump the kid off a cliff. Hell, I’ll do it; they can pin the murder on me if they catch us.”

 

Joe froze. He couldn’t look up past the man’s boots to even see who was talking. He saw the man reach down, and then he was yanked to his feet, dropping his plate into the ashes of the cold fire. He stared down at the man’s hands holding the front of his shirt.

 

“What do you say, kid? You want to do what you can to save Jesse’s neck, right?”

 

“Let him go,” Cash said. The man complied after a moment, leaving Joe standing near the fireplace.

 

“What about you, Cash?” the man asked. “Would you like to see Jesse swinging off the end of a rope?”

 

“No. But that’s Jesse’s decision to make.”

 

“That’s right,” Jesse said, and the men turned and looked at him as he walked in. Joe moved towards Jesse before he could stop himself, and the man put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve talked about it, and I’ve made my decision,” he told the men.

 

Joe looked up as Jesse led him towards a chair. “Listen, kid,” he said as Joe sat down. “Two days.”

 

“Two days…?”

 

“I’m letting you go, son. But I want you to give me two days before you send the posse after me.”

 

Joe almost felt like shouting for joy, but he managed to contain himself to a smile. “Really?”

 

“Jesse…” one of the others said.

 

“We’ve talked about it, and I’m done talking.” Jesse looked down at Joe, and seemed to be thinking about something. Finally he said, “There’s just…really no point in running anymore. There’s too many men in the area. I’m…going to turn myself in.”

 

“Just give them a body,” the man said. “I said I’d do it…they’ll stop looking once they know he’s dead.”

 

“Don’t you think he’ll be more useful alive at a trial?” Jesse snapped.

 

“Trial…”

 

“We’re going to get caught, one way or another,” Cash said quietly.

 

The man rolled his eyes, and dug into the pile where their supplies were. “Fine.” He pulled out three bottles of whiskey, handing one to one of the other men.

 

Jesse looked back at Joe. “Do I have your word?”

 

Joe nodded. “I’ll give you two days. But if you haven’t turned yourself in by then…”

 

Jesse smiled. “Don’t worry about that.” He glanced up a the others, who started to move closer. “I’m sorry to have to do this, kid, but there’s no way I want you to have any idea where this house is.”

 

Joe tensed as two of them grabbed him, pulling his arms over the back of the chair behind him. Jesse took one of the bottles of whiskey and pulled the cork out. Joe felt hands grabbing his hair and his head was tipped back. He gasped, trying to struggle and keep his mouth tightly closed against the liquid. Someone’s dirty fingers forced their way into his mouth, and even though he struggled, they managed to pry his jaw open. Jesse shoved the bottle into his mouth, and Joe almost choked as he was forced to swallow the alcohol. Jesse pulled the bottle away after a bit, and Joe gasped, coughing, finally able to breathe as the men released him for a moment. “Don’t…don’t do it…” he choked.

 

Jesse gave him a few moments to catch his breath, and then gestured to the men again. “No…no!” Joe gasped as they took grabbed him, and he was forced to finish half the bottle. Jesse released him as Joe coughed, begging him not to continue. Everything was started to get hazy as the men took hold of him again…

 

*****

 

Joe slowly opened his eyes. Hoss was looking back at him with a big smile. “There you are!” Hoss exclaimed. “We were beginning to worry.” He turned away for a moment, calling their father and Adam, before looking back. “How do you feel?”

 

Joe blinked a few times, confused, his head pounding. “Hoss?” he whispered. He turned his head, looking around. He was in his own room, in his own bed. He wasn’t sure how he got there, but here he was. “What happened?” he asked.

 

Adam and Ben appeared then, leaning over him as well. “Son…I’m glad you’re awake. You’ve been asleep all day.”

 

“Pa…” Joe reached towards his father, who bent down and lifted him in an embrace. “Oh Pa…I didn’t know if I’d see you again…what happened?”

 

“There son, it’s all right. You had a bad fall and hit your head. A man found you, and brought you back. Do you remember anything?”

 

Joe wasn’t sure what he was going to tell his family yet; he still needed some time to think. “I…remember falling, but…I…I…don’t know…” he said, trying to make his voice tremble, and allowing tears into his eyes. He felt his father hug him tighter, and saw the concern and sympathy Hoss’s expression…and the suspicion wash over Adam’s. He had played it a bit too much. “It’s all right son…I’m just glad you’re all right.” Ben gently settled him back onto the bed.

 

Joe hated making his father so concerned. “Pa, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

“What for, son?”

 

Joe looked down. “Just… for going off without telling you to begin with…and falling…and making you so worried.”

 

Ben stood up with a deep breath. “Yes. Well, when you’re feeling better, we’ll have a talk about that.” He reached down and squeezed Joe’s arm. “I’ll send Hop Sing up with some food. You just rest awhile.” He turned and left the room with Adam and Hoss following.

 

Joe settled back and closed his eyes. He had so many questions that he was afraid of asking for fear of alerting his family. The biggest one though, was what he should do now. If he told them everything, a posse would be able to find Jesse and his men fairly quickly. However, he wanted to believe him. He wanted to give Jesse a chance, to prove that he wasn’t as bad as everyone said he was. Joe wanted to believe that he’d do the right thing.

 

Sometime later, his door swung open. Adam walked inside, shutting it behind him, and set the tray he had been carrying on a table near Joe’s bed.

 

Joe looked up at Adam, a little surprised that his brother wasn’t saying anything, but instead was readying the food on the tray. Adam turned and then without a word, reached down and yanked the sleeves of Joe’s nightshirt up. Joe looked down…and saw the rope burns, the angry red lines dotted with still healing cuts from his trying to break free. “Who was it?” Adam asked.

 

Joe stared down, suddenly feeling panicked, and unable to look up at his brother. He knew he wouldn’t rest until he found out what had happened, and Joe felt guilty, because he hadn’t told the truth to begin with.

 

“Who was it?”

 

Joe looked up. “Did Pa see them? Does he know?”

 

Adam rolled his eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Of course he does. We all saw them- those, and the bruises on your stomach, the bruises all over your back, and the ones on your arms that look like someone was holding you.”

 

Joe closed his eyes, and raised his hands over his face.

 

“Joe.”

 

“I’m sorry! I don’t know what to do…I’m so confused…” Adam didn’t say anything; Joe could tell he was still there, not moving, and he felt trapped. “Please, just leave me alone…I just need to be alone.”

 

“Is Davey one of them?” Adam asked.

 

Joe looked up, startled. “How…?”

 

Adam nodded. “I thought so. He brought you back, saying he had found you unconscious, and you woke up long enough to tell him who you were.”

 

“Is he still here?” Joe felt panic forming.

 

“No. He brought you back and then left. We were a little suspicious at that point; it didn’t make any sense that he would have kept you for almost two weeks had he known who you were, and then bring you back smelling like a cheap saloon.”

 

Joe winced. “They forced me to drink at least one bottle of whiskey. He said he didn’t want me to know where I had been.”

 

“Why don’t you tell me what happened.”

 

Joe glanced down. “I…”

 

“For heaven’s sake, boy, what are you afraid of?”

 

Joe clenched the blankets tightly in his fists. “I want to believe him, Adam. He said he’d turn himself in, and I…want to give him that chance.”

 

“Give who that chance?”

 

Joe looked up at his brother. “It…it was more than one man. It was a group of outlaws. I guess they found me after I fell. All I know is that I woke up where they were hiding. I begged him to let me go, but he wouldn’t. He said I’d bring the posse back to their hideout. He…didn’t want to get caught that way. Finally, he let me go after I promised I wouldn’t send the posse after them right away. To give him time to turn himself in.” Joe sat up a little. “When he does, do you think Pa could get him a lawyer? He’s not guilty of everything they’re blaming on him, and he deserves a fair…trial…” Joe felt himself getting angry at the look on Adam’s face. “Stop it, Adam!”

 

“There was a posse through here about three weeks ago, looking for a man named Jesse Schuyler. Was that who it was?”

 

Joe nodded cautiously. “Yes.”

 

Adam snorted. “Then I highly doubt he’s just going to ride into town and turn himself in. He’s wanted for a dozen murders, and he’s stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from banks and stages. He knows they’d probably hang him on sight.”

 

“Adam that’s not fair. I don’t think he did all those things.”

 

“Well, he must have done a lot of convincing while you were his prisoner; either that or that bump on your head did a lot more damage than it appears.”

 

“He saved my life, didn’t he? Why would he do that, and let me go, if he was as bad as everyone says?”

 

“I don’t know Joe, but he must be getting something out of it.”

 

Joe shook his head. “You’re wrong, Adam.”

 

But even though his brother shrugged and stood up, walking out of the room, his questions remained, nagging at the back of Joe’s mind.

 

******

 

Joe dug through the straw with his pitchfork. He turned towards the opening of the stall to find Hoss standing behind him. “Hi there, older brother,” he greeted, trying to ignore the concerned frown on his brother’s face.

 

All day yesterday he had lay in bed thinking, feigning sleep when his family came in, and trying to figure out what he was going to do. This morning he was a little closer to the answer he had decided on, and he got up earlier than anyone else to start on chores, hoping that by the time anyone else was up, he’d know what to say to them.

 

“Breakfast is ready,” Hoss said.

 

Joe smiled at him and leaned the pitchfork against the side of the stall. “Thanks,” he replied and then walked past Hoss towards the pump to get cleaned up. Inside, Adam and Ben looked up as they walked in. “Morning, Pa, Adam,” he said as he sat down. He avoided looking at them as he pulled his napkin across his lap.

 

As Hop Sing brought out plates piled with food, Ben poured himself a cup of coffee. “We’ll go into town after breakfast, Joe, so you can make a report to the sheriff.”

 

“What report to the sheriff?” Joe asked.

 

“Well, Adam has told us about the outlaws that held you hostage, so we figured as soon as you felt up to it you’d want to go into town and tell the sheriff where they were hiding, so he could send some men out that way.”

 

Joe looked directly at his father. “Pa, I’m not going to make a report to the sheriff. First of all, I don’t know where they were hiding, and secondly…” Joe paused for a moment, trying to remember how he wanted to put it. “Pa, he said he would turn himself in by tomorrow. Can’t we…at least just give him that chance?” Joe knew from his father’s face that he couldn’t.

 

“Joseph, I can’t believe that you’re willing to hide this man. Did he not keep you against your will for over a week?”

 

“But Pa, I…” Joe didn’t know how to say what he felt so that his father could understand. “He saved my life, and he didn’t let me go, because he didn’t want to get caught. He…could have killed me, but he didn’t.”

 

“Joe, stop and listen to what you’re saying. He had no right to kill you, just like he had no right to kill anyone else,” Adam said.

 

“The point is he didn’t, Adam.”

 

“That’s not your decision to make, Joseph. We’re going into town after breakfast,” Pa said, and by his tone Joe could tell that was the end of the discussion.

 

*****

 

“Just tell me what happened from the beginning, son,” the sheriff was getting more impatient, as was Ben. Joe couldn’t see Hoss and Adam, but he didn’t really want to.

 

“But I thought I did,” Joe said quietly. “I don’t really remember that much.”

 

“Joseph, there’s no way you were kept in that hideout in the rocks the whole time, the way you said you were. We found that hideout five days before you were returned. Now where else were you held?”

 

Joe didn’t want to bring the girl into it. He had no idea where the house was, and as far as he could tell, she hadn’t done anything wrong. Once Jesse turned himself in, there wouldn’t even be any need to question her about the outlaw. “I don’t really remember. I thought it was the same place…”

 

“Joseph.”

 

“Yes, Pa?” Joe looked up at his father, wincing at his expression.

 

“Unless you can add to anything you’ve already told the sheriff, I want you to go outside and wait for me next to your horse.”

 

Joe chewed the corner of his lip, glancing up at the sheriff and then back at his brothers, before finally standing up. “I’m sorry, Pa,” he whispered, and then went to the door.

 

“Sorry, Pa,” he heard his father repeat behind him. Joe pulled the door shut, and then closed his eyes for a moment. His legs felt like they were about ready to collapse beneath him. Joe started towards his horse, but then paused. A man was leaning against a post along the wooden walkway a little ways away.

 

Joe walked over to the man, who didn’t look at him or acknowledge him at all until he was standing right in front. “Cash…it is you,” Joe said. “What are you doing here?”

 

Cash smiled. “I just happened to be in town, and I saw the Cartwright family go into the jail. Telling all our secrets, kid?”

 

Joe shook his head. “Jesse’s going to turn himself in, right?”

 

“Don’t you trust him?”

 

Joe sighed. “I want to.” He glanced towards the jail, watching as the door was opened slightly. He saw Adam holding the handle, still looking towards the others inside. “Just…make sure, please?” Joe started away before they would see who he was talking to.

 

“Jesse kept his end of the deal,” Cash said. Joe glanced back, and the man smiled slightly. Joe went towards his horse, waiting there while the rest of his family came out of the jail.

 

“Joseph, I’m quite disappointed in you,” Ben said.

 

Joe knew it was loud enough for Cash to hear, and he cringed.

 

“You were with them for almost two weeks! You have to know more than there was one hideout they used somewhere, and you don’t remember anything about it! What about their names? What about where they were going? What about how many of them there were?”

 

“Pa…” Joe said quietly. His father didn’t answer, swinging onto his horse and starting out of town. With a sigh, Joe followed the others, not looking back.

 

*****

 

“Hoss?” Joe pushed open the barn door. It was in need of a fresh coat of paint, something he was supposed to take care of a few months ago, but somehow never had time. It would turn into another argument with his father soon, he was sure. Joe sighed, and then pushed past the peeling door into the barn. He shuffled through the dirt and hay, peering into each stall, and got to the back door surprised his brother wasn’t there.

 

Stepping into the corral in the back of the barn, he saw Hoss in the training paddock, working a young horse. Joe walked through the grass, and then swung over the fence, finally ending up perched on the top rung, watching Hoss urge the horse to trot.

 

Suddenly, details of the night he was kept up were rushing back as he watched the horse run in circles. The names, shoving him, beating him when he stopped for a breath…

 

“What is it, boy?”

 

Joe looked up at Hoss, a little startled, surprised that he had moved closer without his realizing it. “Just remembered something, that’s all…” He started to climb off the fence, but his brother stopped him with a hand on his knee.

 

“What did you remember?” Hoss asked quietly.

 

Joe shrugged, and then shrugged again. “Just…” he swallowed, and then closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Hoss.”

 

“Did you need something?” Hoss asked gently.

 

Joe looked up at him. “I kind of wanted to ask you something,” he said. “If you’ve got a minute.”

 

“Well, sure, Joe. You can ask me whatever you want…although I’m not sure how much help I’d be. I sometimes find it’s best to ask Pa, when I’ve got a problem. He usually has the answer.”

 

“Yeah, well I can’t ask Pa. He’s already made it pretty clear what his answer is.”

 

Hoss glanced down at the ground, playing with the lead rope for a second. “Is this about that outlaw?”

 

“Sort of…”

 

“Well Joe, I sort of feel the same way that Pa does about it. I’m not sure what good asking me would do you.”

 

Joe sighed, and swung off the fence. “Thanks Hoss,” he murmured, but then turned back. “Hey Hoss? How come you run the horse like that?”

 

Hoss looked back, and stared at him as if he thought Joe had gone crazy. “What in tarnation you talking about?”

 

Joe shook his head. “I don’t know…” He watched as Hoss went back to work. Joe went to leave, but then turned back when Hoss started talking.

 

“You know, it’s more than just wearing ‘em down, Joe. You have to make the horse trust you.”

 

Joe reached out and grasped the fence. “Trust you?”

 

“Joe, you’ve been working with horses for a while; you know that. If you just beat on a horse, like some people do, well, that ain’t gonna make a good horse. You have to show ‘em that they can trust you…that if they do what you want ‘em to, you’ll reward them.”

 

Joe closed his eyes. “Hoss…if I was to beat up on that horse, over and over, and you were to come in and stop me every time…well, that horse would trust you, wouldn’t it?”

 

Hoss looked back at him. “I reckon so.”

 

Joe turned and started away. “Thanks, Hoss,” he called, almost running towards the house.

 

“What’d I do?” Hoss called after him.

 

Joe slowed as he neared the house. He wanted his growing suspicion to be wrong…but it was just getting stronger and stronger. Joe pushed the door open. “Hey, Pa?” he called.

 

“Here, Joseph,” his father answered.

 

Joe walked around the corner to where Adam and Ben sat at Ben’s desk, looking over paperwork.

 

“What is it, son?” Ben asked.

 

“How…” Joe tried to think of the right question. He didn’t even really know what he was asking. “Pa, do you think it’s possible for a man to change? To decide what he’s done is wrong?”

 

Ben set down his pen, and Adam looked up, raising his eyebrows slightly.

 

“I mean…do you think someone…” Joe sighed.

 

“I…” Ben started, and Joe looked up at him, hoping he understood. “I certainly think it’s possible for a man to change, for good or bad. But part of deciding something is wrong is wanting to make it right. One can’t just ask for forgiveness or change his ways without some repayment for wrongs done.”

 

“Wanting to make it right.”

 

“That’s right. When you do something to harm another person, you have to do something to make up for it.”

 

“He said that he had done things wrong. He acknowledged that, Pa. But he also said things had been blamed on him that he didn’t do, and …I don’t know. I’ve never felt so confused about something like this. I mean, he did something good. And it wouldn’t be fair for him to have to go to jail or hang for things that he didn’t do.”

 

“Joe…what did he say?” Adam asked. “Why are you so adamant about protecting him? What did he say, that made you believe he’d changed?”

 

Joe thought for a moment, before finally turning and sitting on the edge of Ben’s desk, his back to his father and brother. “Nothing…not one thing.”

 

“Then I don’t understand…”

 

“Neither do I,” Joe whispered.

 

“That’s where a judge and jury come into play, Joe. One man cannot decide the right and wrong of another’s actions on society.”

 

Joe nodded.

 

“Do you…want to go back into town, now?” Ben asked.

 

Joe looked back. “Please Pa…let’s wait until morning. Trust me…I know he’ll do the right thing…”

 

*****

 

That night, Joe was startled awake. He wasn’t sure what had awoken him. After a few seconds, he had the impression that someone was standing close. He opened his eyes, just as a pillow slammed over his face. Struggling, he heard someone say, “Don’t make a sound.” The pillow moved away a little, and he gasped for air. “Not a word…”

 

It was Jesse Schuyler. He would always remember that voice. Jesse flung the blankets aside and pulled Joe to his feet. “Get dressed,” the man barked. Joe scrambled for his clothes, and as soon he pulled his boots on, the man yanked him towards the door. Joe reached for the handle, but before he could grab it the man shoved him face first into the door.

 

“Hey-“

 

Jesse pressed up against him roughly. “If you don’t want anyone to get hurt, you won’t say one word. Do you understand me?”

 

Struggling, but unable to push the man away, Joe nodded. Jesse moved away, and then opened the door and shoved him out. They went downstairs, and Joe was alert, waiting for an opportunity to break away from him. He was startled, though, as they came around the corner into the great room, to see his father and brothers and Hop Sing bound hand and foot on the floor next to the fireplace, and Jesse’s men standing around, guns drawn. Feeling so terribly helpless, he could do nothing as Jesse pushed him onto the settee with a warning glare.

 

“All right boys, go to it,” Jesse said. All but one of his men spread out, and started going through drawers and cabinets, taking anything that may be of use to them.

 

Joe felt betrayed…and furious. “You can’t do this,” he said, standing up and moving towards Jesse.

 

“Sit down and keep your mouth shut.”

 

“No, this isn’t-“ Joe was cut off as Jesse suddenly reached forward, grasping Joe by the collar and pulling him close, talking directly in his ear.

 

“You make one more sound and I will beat you right now, in front of your whole family, until you are lying on the floor crying and begging me to stop, do you hear me?”

 

Joe wasn’t sure if the others had heard the threat or not, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up before he was shoved backwards onto the floor. “Sit down!” the man almost screamed at him. Joe got up, and sat back down on the settee with his head down. He couldn’t believe how wrong he had been.

 

After a few minutes, the men were almost done. “We didn’t find any money,” one of them reported.

 

“Where is it?” Jesse asked.

 

Joe looked up, and saw the stubborn glares his father and brothers wore.

 

“Where’s the money?” Jesse yelled. When none of them answered, he turned towards Joe, pulling him off the settee and shoving him towards his men. “Hold him,” he snapped. Despite his struggles, Joe was held between two of them so he was facing Jesse. The man grabbed a handful of his hair, tipping his head back, and then just looked at him. Joe felt himself shivering, and he couldn’t stop shaking. “No,” Jesse finally said. Joe didn’t like the mocking in his voice. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. As long as your father gives me my money within the next few minutes, there won’t be any marks on that pretty face.” Jesse laughed as Joe angrily pulled away from him, and the looked back at the elder Cartwrights, all of whom wore looks of fury. “Well?”

 

“We can’t, we don’t have any cash on hand,” Ben replied, the anger apparent by the shortness of his tone.

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“We don’t have it,” Ben replied, his voice rising in pitch slightly. “If you’ll wait until the morning-“

 

“Morning?” Jesse screamed at him. He turned and angrily kicked a chair over. “What do you plan on doing in the morning, riding out to the sheriff’s office and coming back with a nice posse?” Jesse turned towards Joe, who shrank back against the men who were still tightly holding his arms. The man moved forward, and grabbed his chin tightly. “You have thirty seconds to produce cash, Mr. Cartwright. Or else you’re not going to like what I do to your son.”

 

Joe couldn’t move, he closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Jesse’s expression. How could this be the same person…

 

“I told you…we don’t have anything here…”

 

“Twenty seconds.”

 

“Please, let my son alone. Hurting him won’t make me give you something I don’t have!”

 

“Ten seconds.”

 

Joe opened his eyes. The man hadn’t looked away.

 

“Five seconds, Mr. Cartwright.”

 

“Jesse…” Joe whispered.

 

The man leaned closer. “You must have a bad memory, kid. I thought I told you to shut up.” He looked at Ben, and then shrugged, looking back towards Joe. “Your Pa must not care that much.” Jesse let go of him, laughing.

 

Joe shook his head, paling slightly.

 

“Tell you what, kid. I’m not going to beat you. Because your father obviously doesn’t care about what happens to you, I’ll let you come with us.”

 

“Don’t you dare take him,” Ben snapped, and struggled hard against the ropes tying him.

 

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to kill him. You have my word.”

 

“I don’t want your word, I want you to leave my son!” Ben snapped.

 

Jesse laughed and looked back at Joe. “Go ahead, say something to your father before we leave.”

 

“Don’t do this…please…” Joe whispered.

 

“Well, if you have nothing to say, we can go. Take him out.”

 

Joe was dragged to the door. The men were tugging him so sharply he found to hard to keep his footing. Behind him he heard the protests of his family, and that hurt worse than anything. The men threw him over a horse, tying him to the saddle, and then Jesse joined them and they rode away.

 

*****

 

“I said to shut your mouth!” Jesse snarled.

 

“You can’t make me,” Joe muttered as the man turned to leave.

 

Enraged, the man turned back and raised his gun over his head. “You say one more word, I will smash your head in!”

 

Joe glared at him.

 

The man knelt down and hit him before Joe could bring up his arm to defend himself. He could taste blood as Jesse grabbed his chin and forced him to look up towards him. “I don’t want to hear one more thing out of you. I don’t want to hear that you’re hungry, or uncomfortable. If I ask you a question, I want you to answer it, but that’s it. I want you to keep your mouth SHUT!” the man yelled in his face. Jesse got up, and then kicked Joe in the leg, several times. When he turned and left, Joe’s leg was throbbing, his lip was bleeding, and he wanted his father more than anything. The guilt was eating at him. If only he had told the sheriff everything. This never would have happened.

 

Well, he would make sure that Jesse didn’t get away this time, no matter what it took.

 

*****

 

“Here kid,” a man said.

 

Joe didn’t bother to move or look up. After a few seconds, the man walked away again, talking quietly to someone else. Footsteps moved closer again, and out of the corner of his eye he saw it was Jesse crouched down next to him now.

 

“Are you gonna eat something, or would you rather starve?” Jesse said. When Joe didn’t respond, the man stood up, muttering obscene insults under his breath.

 

Furious, Joe kicked out at Jesse, sending him to the ground. In an instant Joe was on him, beating him with his fists. Very quickly, Joe was yanked off the man. An arm wrapped around his waist, rough hands held his arms and hair, and fairly soon he wasn’t able to move. Jesse pushed himself off the ground, and stood in front of Joe.

 

“You’re a little hothead, aren’t you?”

 

Joe pulled sharply against the men who held him. “You’d better watch what you say!”

 

Jesse laughed and grabbed Joe’s chin. “What are you going to do, hothead?”

 

“Let me go!” Joe snapped. “You’re cowards, all of you.”

 

“Cowards?” Jesse’s hand tightened. “I’d be careful who you called a coward, kid; you were the one attacking a man on the ground.”

 

“Let me go then!”

 

“Let him go,” Jesse said, backing up a few steps. The men released Joe, and he flew at Jesse, aiming a punch at his head. The man easily ducked, and shoved Joe, using his momentum to send him to the ground. Joe scrambled up, and went for him again. The fight didn’t last very long. Joe’s fury clouded his aim, and Jesse blocked or moved away from most of his punches, and then finally sent him to the ground with a punch to the jaw.

 

Joe lay for a moment, stunned, and he felt hands pulling him up. Another blow, and he ended up back on the ground. A third time the man pulled him up and hit him twice in the stomach, and then allowed him to slump to his knees doubled over.

 

“Had enough?” Jesse asked.

 

Joe slowly inhaled and shakily stood. He looked up towards Jesse, and then flew at him, catching him around the waist and knocking him over. He was up before Jesse was, and waited as the man stood before aiming a fist at his face. The man caught his arm, and hit him twice. Finally Jesse knocked Joe backwards onto the ground. “I’m done with you,” he said.

 

Joe pushed himself onto his elbows. “You liar,” he snapped angrily. “I can’t believe I stood up for you! To my father and the sheriff….”

 

Jesse just laughed. “It was so much fun, making you believe me. It was a game, and you responded so well.” The man chuckled. “I wish I could have seen your father’s reaction to all of it.”

 

Joe started to scramble off the ground, but Jesse kicked him, catching him in the stomach with his boot. Joe crumpled to the ground.

 

“Well, the fun’s over now. Hold him, boys.”

 

Joe tried, in vain, to fight back against the men pulling to his feet. As Jesse came towards him with his fist raised, and wondered if he’d ever see his father again.

 

*****

 

Joe coughed, and then choked in pain. He gasped and pushed himself off the ground a little, trying to relieve the pain in his side. Forcing himself to breathe slower, he slumped back to the ground, biting his lip, trying to keep from being overwhelmed. He had been left in the clearing early in the morning, hours ago. Jesse hadn’t said anything to him or even acknowledged him after the beating from the previous night. Everything hurt so much to move, but he couldn’t give up. He had to find that man, and make sure he went to jail.

 

The sound of horses came from nearby, and Joe heard men calling to one another. Footsteps hurried his way, and then hands gently rolled him onto his back. He winced, and then forcing himself to look up, saw the sheriff and a few other men he recognized. “Water, bring water,” someone said, and he was helped to drink. One of the men lifted a gun into the air, and then fired off two shots. The signal was answered from a distance away after a moment.

 

“Your family will be here soon,” the sheriff said. “Are you hurt bad, son?”

 

Joe grimaced as he gingerly shook his head. “I don’t know…” he groaned. “Everything hurts too much to tell.” The sheriff got a cloth wet from one of the canteens, and then gently wiped the dried blood from Joe’s face.

 

Joe heard several more riders arrive, and then his father and brothers appeared above him. Ben leaned over him. “Son, are you all right?” his father asked, running his hand over the bruises on Joe’s face, gently examining him.

 

“I’m fine,” Joe groaned, and tried to sit up.

 

“Take it easy,” someone cautioned, and several hands helped him to his feet. Joe did his best to hide the grimace of pain that standing brought, and slowly stretched, trying not to rely too much on his brothers’ hands on his arms to keep him on his feet.

 

“Do you know which way they went?” the sheriff asked.

 

Joe tilted his head in the direction they rode off. “Their horses were pretty worn down…you shouldn’t have a problem catching up…”

 

“You’d better get after them,” Ben said.

 

The sheriff nodded, and then he and the others returned to their horses. “Pa, Hoss and I will go too,” Adam said.

 

“Certainly,” Ben replied. “Help me get Joe to my horse first.”

 

Joe tried to push them away. “Pa, I have to go with them.”

 

His father didn’t answer as they lifted Joe onto Ben’s horse.

 

Joe bent over holding his side for a moment. “Pa…” he groaned. “Please, we have to go with them…” Ben swung onto the horse behind Joe, with an arm around his son’s waist to keep him securely in front.

 

“Be careful,” Ben said to Adam and Hoss as they went towards their horses.

 

“Pa…you don’t understand, I have to find him…”

 

“The posse will find him soon enough. Are you all right, son?” Ben nudged his horse forward, and they started towards the Ponderosa.

 

Joe felt tears of frustration, and he brought his hand over his eyes. “I can do it…please…”

 

“Joe. If we go with them, we’ll only slow them down.”

 

“Pa…I have to find him, to…to make sure he pays for what he did.”

 

“They will.”

 

Joe was quiet for a while, until the jostling of the horse became too much for him. “Pa, please stop for a minute…”

 

“Son, what’s the matter?”

 

Joe slid off the saddle, but his legs gave out and he collapsed onto his knees. He managed to get closer to a clump of bushes before his nausea overcame him. Joe felt his father behind him, one hand on his shoulder and the other gently rubbing his back.

 

Finally he sat back, and looked back towards his father. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

“Don’t you be sorry,” Ben said, and went back and grabbed his canteen from his saddle.

 

Once he was done drinking, Joe handed back the canteen and took a deep breath. He couldn’t let his father see just how much this man had hurt him. “I should be fine now,” Joe said. Ben helped him to his feet, and then led him back to the horse. Joe could tell his father was worried as he fussed over him, helping him into the saddle. Ben swung up behind, and then they started off again, slowly.

 

They had only gone a few more miles when Joe needed to ask his father to stop again.

 

“Are you all right? Do you need to get down?”

 

Joe could feel his father start to slide off of the horse. “No, I just need to rest for a minute…” Joe was glad his father couldn’t see his face. “Pa…I’m sorry…”

 

“No, son.”

 

“But I am…I’m sorry…for all of it. I was so wrong. I was so…stupid.” He shook his head. “I just…I don’t know what I was thinking…I should have listened to you from the beginning.” Joe bit his lip, and then closed his eyes as his father gently held his arms. “I wanted to believe him. He…” Joe blinked back tears. “He laughed at me,” he whispered.

 

Ben pulled him back, and Joe gratefully collapsed in his father’s embrace. “Joe, it’s all right, son.”

 

“I don’t understand why he did it. He could have just left me where he found me…he could have killed me. No one would ever have found me.” Joe sighed. “I thought…”

 

“I’m sorry, son,” Ben said quietly. “I wanted you to be right, too.”

 

“We can go now, Pa.”

 

“Are you sure? Are you going to be all right? We can wait a little longer, if you want…”

 

“No, let’s go.”

 

Ben urged Buck into a walk again, still holding onto Joe, keeping him close so he couldn’t slip off the saddle. They turned off the road towards Virginia city, and started towards the Ponderosa.

 

“Hold it.”

 

Joe looked up towards an outcropping of rocks, from which two men had left their hiding places and were riding towards them, guns drawn. “No…” he breathed, recognizing Jesse and Cash in an instant.

 

“Don’t reach for your gun, Mr. Cartwright.”

 

“Joe, it’ll be all right,” Ben whispered.

 

The men came to a stop next to them, and Joe did his best not to show any emotion. He was afraid, and angry, and so horribly powerless.

 

Jesse kept his gun on them for a few moments.

 

“What do you want?” Ben said.

 

Jesse’s mouth turned up a bit, and then he uncocked the hammer of his gun and flipped it around, holding it out to Ben. Joe wished he could see his father’s face as Ben took the gun.

 

“Shall we go into town?” Jesse asked.

 

With Cash and Jesse in front, they turned back towards Virginia City. With every step, Joe willed himself to hold on until the next one. Pain was shooting through his side and bottom by the time the tallest buildings of Virginia City came into sight. He realized he was holding his breath, and he forced himself to exhale. They came to a stop outside the jail, and Ben assisted Joe in sliding off the horse. Joe managed two steps, and then collapsed next to the hitching post.

 

“Joe!” his father called, kneeling next to him.

 

“I’m all right Pa…” Joe groaned. Ben tried to lift Joe, while still keeping his gun trained on the outlaws.

 

“Let me help, Mr. Cartwright,” Cash said.

 

Joe found himself being pulled from his father, and carried inside the jail by Cash. “There, set him there,” Ben said. Joe was laid down on a cot, and then he watched as Ben instructed the outlaws to turn their pockets out on the desk. Once Ben had relieved them of their weapons, he led them into the other room and Joe heard a cell door lock.

 

Ben walked back into the main room, swinging the door separating the rooms closed. “Son, are you all right?”

 

Joe nodded. “I just…am tired. It hurts…”

 

“What hurts, boy?” Ben started to undo Joe’s shirt. “What did they do?”

 

“My…my side, and…and…” Joe looked up at his father, biting the corner of his lip. “He whipped me with a belt. Said I couldn’t take a man-sized beating…”

 

Ben’s face grew darker, more concerned. “Why didn’t you tell me? No, no, it’s all right, son, it’s all right.” He tucked Joe’s shirt around him again. “Now don’t you worry about a thing. I’m going to go, get the doctor to take a look at you. You…just stay here, don’t move, and you can just…don’t go in there. You’ll be fine, just stay out here. All right?”

 

Joe nodded. “I’ll be fine Pa.”

 

Ben got up, glancing at the door to make sure it was closed, and looking towards the desk. “The key is there, on the desk. Now don’t worry, I’ll be back soon…just stay right here, and ignore those two in there…”

 

“I’ll be fine Pa…”

 

Ben left rather hurriedly, as if he was afraid Cash and Jesse would be able to break out during the five minutes he would be gone. Joe waited a few seconds, and then pushed himself to his feet, unsteadily moving towards the door to the cells. He grasped the handle, and then fighting back the fear that was raging through him, pushed the door open, stepping inside and leaning against the wall for support, one arm around his stomach holding his side.

 

Jesse glanced up when he came in, but he didn’t move.

 

Joe really didn’t know what he wanted to say, or what he expected would happen. He had so many questions; he wanted to know why Jesse had turned himself in, and why he had beaten Joe and made him think he wasn’t going to. Why had he broken into the Ponderosa, and why did he take Joe with them? Why hadn’t he kept running…just… “Why…?”

 

“That’s a complicated question, boy.”

 

Joe tried to stand a little straighter, or else not lean so much. “I’d like an answer…”

 

“Well, you’re not getting one.”

 

Joe glanced down for a moment. “Why didn’t you just kill me?”

 

Jesse shrugged. “I don’t know.” The man lay back on his cot, and with a deep sigh closed his eyes. Joe chewed his bottom lip until he caught himself doing it and stopped. He looked towards Cash, but not even he seemed to be willing to offer an explanation. Joe watched them for a few more seconds, but as the queasy feeling started to grow stronger, he knew he ought to go lie down before he got sick again. “Thanks…” Joe murmured, and Cash looked up. Jesse didn’t move. Joe’s voice sounded so small outside of his head. “Anyway, for…saving my life…” They didn’t answer.

 

He was almost shaking as he turned and then went back into the main room, pulling the door closed behind him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, or what he expected from the man; whether he would apologize for hurting him, or regret that he hadn’t killed him. Joe sat down, and then waited until his father and the doctor came back. As soon as Ben walked in, he went to Joe. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

 

Joe just reached out, and wrapped his arms around his father’s neck, his tears soaking into Pa’s shoulder. Ben held him tightly, softly whispering, telling Joe it was all right now.

 

*****

 

A few weeks later, once a judge and jury had been assembled, and witnesses from out of town had been brought in, there was a trial. Joe sat in the back of the courtroom with his family, even though there was a place saved for them in the first row. None of the charges brought against Jesse Schuyler involved him at all. He hadn’t wanted them to, and his father had respected that.

 

Joe watched as the charges were read, and Jesse responded with a stoic “Guilty”. He never showed emotion, never seemed to care that he had ended so many lives and hurt so many people. Once the legal proceedings were taken care of, he was sentenced to hang; yet still, he didn’t react at all. Joe watched as finally, he was led out of the courtroom, death sentence still hanging in the air. Cash was to be tried separately, but he was likely to go free as he continued to maintain his innocence, claming that he never committed any crimes with the Schuyler gang, and no witnesses could be found to tie him to anything. The rest of the gang had disappeared.

 

Joe went outside as soon as Jesse was taken out. Watching from the back of the building, he saw the man being led back to the jail. Jesse didn’t look up.

 

Joe felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder.

 

“Pa…he never even…” Joe sighed, and shook his head. “I…I thought he was going to fight the charges. I thought he kept me alive so I could be a witness…” Joe looked back at his father. Adam and Hoss were standing nearby as well.

 

“Maybe there was nothing to fight, son.”

 

Joe glanced down, the implications reeling through him. “Then, why…it wouldn’t have mattered, one more life…”

 

“Maybe he wasn’t all bad, Joe,” Adam said, and Joe looked up at him. Adam smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and Joe felt Ben’s arm around his waist. Hoss reached around and squeezed his hand, and then the four turned back towards the main street. With one more glance towards the jail, Joe went with his family back to their wagon to go home.

 

He wouldn’t be back to watch the hanging.

 

THE END