Chapter Twelve

Breakfast was still rather subdued as it had been for the last few days. Stacey forced herself to eat enough to ward off Hop Sing’s ire, and she marveled at how much Hoss could consume in one sitting. She still felt at a loss that Harry had ridden away and left her behind, but he’d insisted she take some time to rest and Adam had urged her to agree. She didn’t want to rest. She wanted to go home where she could forget she had ever dared to start dreaming again. The thin line across her throat had physically almost healed over, but the fear behind it had simply been buried.

Upstairs, Adam sat with his empty coffee mug in his hand and his head off somewhere else. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there when he sensed movement beside him. The soft rustle of sheets drew him back to the room and he glanced over to see Joe struggling to open his eyes. He leaned closer and dropped the mug onto the bedside table before reaching out his hand.

“Joe? Can you hear me?”

“Pa?”

“Sorry, buddy, it’s just me, Adam. But I can get Pa for you.”

“A’am.” The word sounded heavy and thick and Adam instinctively reached for the glass of water on the table.

“You want some water?”

As Joe struggled to lift his head and take a few sips, Adam debated shouting for his father.

Joe dropped his head back to the pillow and closed his eyes, but Adam moved closer and ran a hand through his brother’s hair.

“Hey, don’t you go back to sleep just yet. Pa’s gonna want to talk to you.”

When Joe barely managed a smile in response and still didn’t open his eyes, Adam pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door.

“Pa! Come on up here!”

He was only just settled back in the chair when he heard boots running on the floorboards outside and both his father and brother barreled into the room. He saw the look of alarm on both of their faces and forestalled any comments by pointing to his brother.

“Joe’s awake.”

“Joseph?” Ben was leaning across the bed in an instant and he gently rested a hand on Joe’s shoulder. “Can you hear me, Son?”

“Pa.” Joe barely managed to open his eyes, but he felt his father’s presence and smiled at him.

Stacey had stayed seated as the two men at the table responded to Adam’s urgent shout. She didn’t trust herself to stand up as the worst of her fears began clamoring for her attention. When she heard a sharp knocking at the door, and no sign of anyone returning, she headed for the front door instead.

Roy was surprised to see her open the door, but wished her a good morning and asked if any of the family was at home. Once again, the reminder that she was not family and not included in discussions was rammed home.

“They’re all upstairs. I’m … I’m not sure if something is wrong with Joe.”

Roy noted the hitch in her breath and glanced in the general direction of the upstairs rooms. He momentarily waited at the foot of the stairs before starting on up. It wasn’t what he would usually do, but with Joe’s condition still so precarious, he figured he might be needed to ride for Paul. His concern was short-lived as he saw Hoss and Adam coming his way and he nodded at both of them.

“Little Joe alright?”

“He finally woke up. Just for a few minutes, but I don’t think Pa wants to leave him just yet.” Adam smiled as he thought of his father’s face when Joe really responded to him at long last.

“Well that’s the best news I’ve heard in too long!”

“What brings ya out here, Roy?” Hoss was already moving to the table to refill his coffee while offering one to the sheriff.

Roy scratched at his neck as he considered his words carefully. “Well, I got some information on Nate and his brother.”

Stacey had all but melted into the background as the trio settled into the chairs. She felt like an intruder and yet she desperately wanted to know what the sheriff had uncovered.

“Pa is gonna want to hear this, but he ain’t gonna want to leave Joe alone just yet.”

“I could watch him while you talk.”

Adam nodded in appreciation as Stacey stepped forward again.

By the time she found herself alone in the room with Joe, he was once again soundly asleep. She seated herself beside the bed and tried desperately not to think about the nights she had done the same thing and prayed the stranger before her would not die. It seemed that Joe had beaten the odds once again and the doctor’s prognosis was good, but it was clearly going to be a long haul back from the brink. His face was flushed as his temperature hovered higher than it should be, but the doctor had made it clear it was to be expected. She was just grateful it was nowhere near where it had climbed to the last time she had cared for him.

---

“Do you remember a man called Nathaniel Landry?”

“Landry?” Ben stared at Roy as if he had just dug up a buried box and sprung open the lid. It wasn’t full of treasure, but long-dead sour memories. “Yes, I remember him. Why?”

“You remember he had a wife and four children?”

“Of course I do! Why, Roy?”

“Well that young fella locked up in my jail is one of ’em.”

“Are you sure?” Ben stood to his feet and paced across to the fireplace before turning back to face his friend.

“‘fraid so, Ben. Not that he told me as much, but once I did some more digging and got me a name, he didn’t deny it.”

“Who’s Nathaniel Landry, Pa?” Hoss had seen the change in his father’s demeanor and didn’t understand why.

Ben didn’t speak for a long time before he finally answered. “He used to work for me a long time ago. He was a ranch hand here on the Ponderosa for near on two years.”

“Pa?” Adam too could see his father processing something and he felt his gut churning as he waited. “I remember him. One day he was here and the next he was gone. I never did find out why.”

Ben ignored the implied question and looked over to Roy instead. “Roy, I need to speak to Nate.”

“Now, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Ben!”

“Roy!” Ben glared at him while Roy stared him down.

“Soon as you tell me why you’re so all-fired up.”

“Because according to the obituary pages in the Carson City paper, Nate Landry is supposed to have died six years ago in an accident!”

---

Adam could not sleep, no matter what he tried. He had been tossing from one position to another for some time when he finally decided to get up and do something else. Like check on his brother again. He threw back the blanket that had twisted around his waist and reached for a robe that was laid over the end of the bed. He didn’t bother pulling out the slippers under the bed, deciding he didn’t want to risk waking anyone else. It had been a long night waiting for his father to return from Virginia City and hopefully fill in some gaping holes for them all. The fact he had returned empty-handed as Nate had clammed up was beyond frustrating. Adam had mulled over a multitude of questions until his head ached, but not one of them had any answers. His father had simply said that Nate had vowed not to speak until his trial, at which point everything would be on public record. Adam wasn’t so sure that any good could come from that, but he held his tongue and had paced his bedroom floor well into the night.

When he made his way to Joe’s door, he was surprised to see it was already open. Alarmed at the thought that Joe may have needed something and nobody had heard him, he hurried towards it and suddenly pulled up short. A soft voice carried across the space between him and the door and he was shocked to realise it was Stacey. Caught between eavesdropping and revealing his presence, he hesitated too long and suddenly found himself trapped in the corridor.

Stacey had been unable to fall asleep and finally decided she needed to see Joe for herself. Her head told her to go home and pick up her life where she had left off, but her heart would not allow her to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, a smiling face loomed back at her and she found herself struggling to breathe. It felt wonderful to feel alive again and yet a part of her felt like she was betraying the man she had given her marriage vows to. Would Luke understand? Would Harry?

She perched on the edge of the chair and stared at Joe’s features, secure in the knowledge he was deeply asleep under the influence of laudanum. It somehow made it easier to speak what she could not allow herself to say in the daylight. She dared not touch him and yet everything in her ached to reach out and grasp hold of his hand or run a hand down his cheek. The smile she had grown to love was nowhere to be seen and she wanted to shake him awake and say something funny just to see it one more time.

“You silly little girl! You’re acting like this is some kind of schoolgirl crush,” she admonished herself. Her heart was racing against her chest and she sucked in a deep breath before daring herself to take a chance. It may well be the last chance she would ever have and she simultaneously prayed that Joe would not suddenly wake up, while half hoping that he would. Tears welled in her eyes as she leaned forward and brushed a faint kiss across Joe’s lips. Logic told her that he was drugged and oblivious to her, but a nagging voice of doubt told her that he did not want her when he didn’t respond. Her finger trailed down the side of his face and she tentatively reached over once more. The second kiss would be the last she would ever have and she hesitated to even try. Suddenly she sobbed as she leaned forward again and took one final memento to hold onto.

“I could give you my heart, Joseph Cartwright … if you wanted it. It’s not quite in one piece … and maybe not good enough for your family … but it’s all yours … if you even want me.”

Adam heard the raw emotion behind the comment and decided he needed to get away before he was discovered. He began to backtrack towards his door when something else took over and he headed for the stairs instead. He would never be quite sure of what prompted his out-of-character decision, but he would later blame it on having read too many books of poetry. Whether or not Joe would appreciate it remained to be seen.

Adam leaned back into the chair and stared at the flames that burned low in the grate. He had no idea how long he’d been there when he heard a faint noise on the landing above the stairs. Before he could pull himself out of the chair, he saw Stacey making her way down towards him. He tried not to startle her, but there was no way to make his presence known in the middle of the night without doing so. She jumped back as she heard his voice and then slowly made her way forwards.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s alright. I just … I wanted a glass of water and didn’t expect anybody else would be awake.”

Adam conveniently ignored the patently obvious that Stacey would have been coming from the guest bedroom and not from upstairs as he offered to get her one. Stacey felt the colour rising to her cheeks and knew she had been caught out. She had no idea what Adam would think of her sneaking into his brother’s room in the middle of the night and she wanted to run and hide.

Adam had already headed for the kitchen and quickly returned with a glass of cold water. As he passed it to her, he motioned towards the sofa. “Please, join me in a nightcap.” As he settled back into his own chair, he retrieved the glass he’d left on the table and drained the whiskey from it.

“You’re having trouble sleeping too?”

Adam nodded slowly and watched her expression closely as he poured himself another drink. She shook her head as he offered her one and she stiffly settled on the sofa. He realised they’d all been so caught up in their own worry over Joe that her concern had been almost glossed over. While it wasn’t exactly ideal timing, Adam figured now was as good a time as any to address it.

“You care about him, don’t you?”

Stacey looked away as she tried to keep a lid on her emotions. There was no need to ask who Adam was referring to. “Of course I care what happens to him. He was so very sick when he found me.”

“That’s not what I asked. It’s more than that isn’t it?” As Stacey turned to look back at him, she saw compassion in Adam’s expression. She barely nodded before looking away again.

“I hope you don’t mind me being forthright, but from what Harry told me about Luke, I think he’d be all right with you starting to live again.”

Tears pricked at her eyes as she turned back towards him. She’d seen for herself just how much Adam loved his brother and how protective he was of him and she felt herself relax a little under his quiet gaze. She smiled as she considered just how much alike her Harry was to Joe’s Adam. Would Harry understand if she dared to give her heart to someone else? She had no idea if Joe even wanted it and she found herself floundering once again in a whirlpool of emotions. She must have drifted off for some time, because she suddenly felt Adam sit down next to her on the sofa. His presence calmed her racing thoughts and she looked up to see him watching her.

“Harry wants you to be happy.”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Read my thoughts! I don’t even know what I think and yet you seem to see right inside me.”

Adam laughed softly as he smiled at her. “It’s a big brother secret. We all have the ability. It comes with the birth of our siblings.”

Stacey laughed as she looked at him once again and decided that Joe was a very blessed younger brother.

“Don’t you think you are getting ahead of things?”

“Nope.” Adam watched her fidget under his scrutiny and he smiled again before patting her hand. “Now I think it’s time we both got some sleep, don’t you?”

Stacey tried to stifle a yawn and giggled as Adam raised an eyebrow at her. “I don’t think I can argue with you there.”

Adam waited until she had headed for the guest room before turning for the stairs. He was almost at his own room before he found himself turning back towards Joe’s door. He nudged the door open and hesitated briefly in the gap. He smiled at his own hesitation before moving over and settling in the chair next to Joe’s bed. His brother had never needed his matchmaking services before and he couldn’t define why he even felt he needed to get involved now. Both of them were still so very young and yet he knew that both possessed a strength that belied their years. The independent, feisty young woman who had outwitted a knife-wielding lunatic could certainly hold her own with his brother. He just hoped that Joe knew what had landed in his lap before she left and went home for good.

He sat and watched as Joe slept a more peaceful sleep than he’d seen in some time. The doc’s laudanum had once again dulled the pain and allowed him to sleep without any restlessness. He allowed himself a smile as he thought of what he had inadvertently overheard.

“Pleasant dreams, Little Joe.” He padded across the room and finally made his own way to bed.