Summary:  Joe feels the loss of his friend Baker.

Rated: K WC 9700

Baker’s Brat Series:

Baker’s Brat
Baker’s Dozen
Baker’s Legacy
Baker’s Destiny

 

Baker’s Legacy

The man stepped down from the stage and looked around, hoping desperately that something would look familiar to him. His dark eyes swept first up the dusty street and then down again, searching in vain for something that might spark a memory. “Hey mister!” shouted the driver from up on top of the stage. “You want ya bag or don’t ya?”

The man looked up and nodded. The stage driver threw the bag down and it hit the sidewalk with a thud. “Thanks!” said the man sarcastically and picked it up before straightening his coat and pushing his hat back on his head. He looked up and down the street again. “Can you direct me to the sheriff’s office please?” he shouted up to the driver who pointed a dirty finger across the street to the large “jail” sign that was displayed. “Thanks!” said the man again and began to make his way across the street slowly.

He continued to look both up and down the street as he walked, hoping against hope that something or someone might look familiar to him, but by the time he’d reached the jail his hopes were dashed. Once again, he felt the familiar frustrated feeling that had come to be so much a part of his life now and he wondered if he’d ever been free of it.

He opened the door and walked inside, hesitating for a moment to look around the small office which seemed to be empty. “Hello!” he shouted.

A man entered the room with a broom in his hand. From the look of his greying hair and untidy moustache, the man figured that he was fast approaching retirement age, yet he walked with a purpose that belied his age somewhat. “Just cleaning up a mite,” the sheriff explained as he replaced the broom against the wall. “Sheriff Coffee’s the name,” he added, holding out his hand.

 

“Roy Coffee?” asked the man, shaking the sheriff’s hand.

 

“That’s right,” replied Roy. He looked at the man in a puzzled fashion. “Do I know ya mister?  I don’t remember seeing you round town here before.”

 

“No, we’ve never met,” replied the man. “And I’ve never been to Virginia City before. At least … not that I remember,” he added.

 

Roy looked at him strangely. “Not that you can remember?” he asked. The man nodded, but offered no other explanation. “Well,” said Roy after a moment. “Can I help ya stranger?”

 

The man nodded. “I hope so,” he said.

 

“Just got in on the stage, did ya?” sheriff Coffee asked, indicating a chair for the man as he sat down himself.

 

“That’s right,” replied the man as he sat down.

 

There was silence for a moment as they both looked at each other. “Well …. What can I help ya with?” asked the sheriff.

 

The man cleared his throat. “I believe you know a family called Cartwright?” he asked. “I was wondering if you could direct to me where they live?”

 

“Sure do,” said Roy, fingering his chin. “What do ya want with the Cartwrights?”

 

The man hesitated. “I think that I might know them,” he said.

 

“You think?” asked Roy. “Don’t ya know?”  The man shook his head as Roy gave him a suspicious look, noting the long scar down one side of his face that gave him the look of a criminal. “What do ya want with the Cartwrights?” Roy asked. “And what’s ya name stranger?”

 

“My name is Mr Baka,” replied the man. “I don’t blame you for being suspicious sheriff. I know that I’m sounding a bit strange about all of this, but the plain truth is that I’m hoping that I will know the Cartwrights when I meet them.  There is a child named Joseph I believe?”

 

“Joe ain’t no child,” said the sheriff. “He’s going on fer twenty-three.”

 

“Oh,” said Baka, touching his coat pocket. “Then I guess my information is more out of date then I thought.”

 

“Yer information?” asked Roy, leaning forward and staring at Baka. “And just what information would that be, may I ask?”

 

“Certainly,” replied Baka. He took a folded piece of paper out of his coat pocket and handed it to the Sheriff.

 

Roy looked at it suspiciously and then unfolded it to read.

 

 

deer baka,

 

My pa sed I culd rite to you. My pa sed that my brutha Adam is not ded in Bostun and I got in trubble for tring to find him. Can ya pleese rite and tell my pa I shuldnt be in trubble no more baka? I miss ya baka. When are ya cuming ta viset me baka? Tell the sarj that I am eating lots and growing biga every day. I will soon be big enuff ta join the arme like he done told me I culd. I askt my pa iffen we can cum and viset ya agen but he sed no. He seys I can cum when I get biga. I told my pa I am biga now but he sed I still aint big enuf. So ya have ta cum and viset me insted baka. I live in nevardar on the pondarosa ranch. Jest go to verjinia cite and ask sherif cofe. He is our frend and he will tell ya how to cum hear and see me.

 

Your frend

 

Joe Cartwright

 

“I wondered how old the letter was,” said Baka when Roy had finished. “You see sheriff … I had no way of knowing how long I’ve been carrying that around with me. I had it when … well … I think I’d better start at the beginning.”

 

“I think you’d better,” replied Roy, handing the letter back to Baka and folding his arms in front of him. “Start explaining Mister Baka.”

 

He looked down and fingered the scars on his torso, noting how they had at last begun to fade slightly. After all, it had been over a year now since he had arrived here at the mission … so it was to be expected that they would by now. He knew that he would carry them for the rest of his life and he just wished that he knew what had caused them.

 

The brothers here had been kindness itself to him in these past few months. No one could have hoped for better treatment than these simple servants of their Lord had given him. They had ministered to him and treated his ugly wounds as if he had been one of their own and he would eternally grateful to them for taking him in the way they had when he had stumbled into their mission with a raging fever and countless wounds that had threatened to be his destruction.

 

He knew without doubt that if it hadn’t been for these men he would not be here now. Yet still, he couldn’t help but feel so angry and frustrated at the way things were. The brothers had helped his body to heal, yet nothing had helped his mind. It was blank prior to arriving here at the mission and try as he would nothing seemed to be real before that day.

 

He wondered how he had come to be stumbling around in the desert …. He wondered exactly how he had been wounded …. He wondered what his name was and if he had any family who by now had given him up for dead … there were so many things that he wondered … so many things that he just didn’t know.

 

He walked over to the small window and looked out onto the vegetable garden where some of the brothers were working. He owed these men his life and he knew that he had to try and repay them for giving it back to him. He would stay and work here amongst them while he tried to put the pieces of his mind and his life back together again.

 

“I lived in that mission for over two years,” finished Baka. “Until I was ready to face the world again.” He fingered the scar on his face unconsciously. “After that I drifted from job to job as I came to terms with being like this.” He looked at the sheriff to see if he understood what he was saying and saw Roy nod his head slightly. “I suppose I was worried about who I might be and what the life that I left behind was like,” Baka continued. “Even though I wanted desperately to know who I was, I was terrified at the same time.”

 

“So you had no idea at all who you are?” asked Roy. “Your memory has never come back to you?”

 

Baka shook his head. “No,” he said. “For five years I’ve lived with no past. Nothing has ever triggered a memory for me …until now,” he said.

 

 

 

“The letter,” said Roy.

 

 

 

“Yes … the letter,” said Baka. “It was the only thing they found on me … the only link to my past and my identity. It’s taken me five years to build up the courage to come here, face my past and find this Joe Cartwright. I’m hoping that when I meet him he might be able to tell me something to help bring back my memory, or at least give me some clues as to who I am and what my life used to be,” he finished, patting his pocket in which he’d put the letter and looked out of window as he did so.

 

 

 

Roy nodded. “I see,” he said thoughtfully.

 

 

 

“I just didn’t know …” continued Baka. “I just didn’t know how old the letter was. Apparently I’ve been carrying it around for years if this Joe Cartwright is no longer a child. This letter was obviously written when he was quite young.”

 

 

 

Roy nodded. “Yes,” he agreed. “I think I know now who you are mister.” He held up his hand as Baka leaned forward anxiously. “It would be better for the Cartwrights to tell ya,” the sheriff continued. “They know the whole story.” He gave the other man a long look. “They think you’re dead, ya know.”

 

 

 

“Was I close to them?” Baka asked.

 

 

 

Roy nodded. “In a way,” he said. “You was right close to Joe, especially when he was a young’un. Here … I’ll write down directions for you ta get to The Ponderosa.”

 

 

 

“Thank you,” said Baka, sitting back in his chair again and breathing deeply. So it was finally going to happen … after all these years he was finally going to know something of his past. He sincerely hoped that his past wasn’t something he was going to regret finding out about.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

He stopped near the shore of the large lake and breathed in the fresh scent of the pine trees high above his head. This was certainly beautiful country and he revelled in the fresh air and the coolness. So different from Arizona and the mission where he’d spent the last few years. He’d spent a lot of time during the past few weeks wondering if he was doing the right thing by coming here to face his past, but now that he was here he knew deep within his soul that he was. Whatever his past was … it was time to face it.

 

 

 

He took out the letter and studied it again.

 

 

 

Tell the sarj that I am eating lots and growing biga every day. I will soon be big enuff ta join the arme like he done told me I culd.

 

 

 

For perhaps the hundredth time, he wondered if he had been in the army at some stage. The child’s letter seemed to suggest to him that perhaps he had and if so … had that had something to do with the fact that he had suddenly found himself in Arizona with the injuries that he’d had and no memory of what had happened to him? He had considered contacting the army to see if he was known there, but something within had stopped him from doing so. He wondered if he had been a deserter and if so he could have regretted the move in the future? So he had followed the only other course of action that he could. The only clue to his identity was this Cartwright family.

 

 

 

He wondered just what his relationship with this child had been? Why on earth would a child be writing to him in that way? Was he perhaps related to him in some way? He put the letter back in his pocket again and patted it as he turned his horse away from the lake and back towards the trail that led to The Ponderosa ranch. He hoped that soon all his questions would be answered …. and that the answers would be ones, which he could handle.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

He rounded the corner of the barn and sat on his horse for several minutes before dismounting, hoping that the ranch house would mean something to him … spark a memory perhaps. He shook his head slightly as nothing came to mind and he dismounted and tied up his horse.

 

 

 

“Can I help ya?” He turned to see a large man smiling at him. The man’s face immediately registered surprise and disbelief and his jaw dropped open as he took a few steps forward. “Well dadburnit!” he exclaimed. “I can’t believe it!” He pumped Baka’s hand up and down several times, giving him a broad gap-toothed grin. “Who woulda thought it!” he said in glee. “Well you’re sure a sight fer sore eyes!”

 

 

 

Baka gave the man a tentative smile. “I …”

 

 

 

“Well come along inside!” the man said, putting his arm around Baka and practically dragging him across the front yard. “Boy are you sure ever gonna cause a stir! That little brother of mine is just about gonna jump right outta his skin when he sees ya!”

 

 

 

Baka closed his mouth and allowed himself to be dragged towards the porch and through the front doorway. An older man with silver hair stared at him in disbelief as he stood there looking around and Baka stared back at him, hoping against hope that he would mean something too him. To his dismay however, he couldn’t recall who he might be. He was just about to speak, when two other men entered the room. One was dressed in black and the other had on a green jacket. They both stopped and stared at him for a few seconds and then the younger of the two … the one in the green jacket … ran forward and threw his arms around him. “I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed. “I must be seeing things!” he drew back fro Baka and looked at him and Baka was surprised to see tears standing in his eyes. “It’s really you!” the young man exclaimed and hugged him again.

 

 

 

Baka tried to disentangle himself from the young man’s grip and saw the surprised look on the young man’s face as he did so. He took a step away from him as soon as it was possible to do so. “Would you be Joe Cartwright?” he asked.

 

 

 

The young man stared at him in disbelief. “What?” he said, grinning as if Baka had made a huge joke, but looking puzzled at the same time. “What’s that supposed to mean?  Of course I’m Joe. I’m so glad to se you Baker! I can’t believe that you’re truly alive!”

 

 

 

“Baker?” said Baka. “I thought …. So that’s how it’s pronounced,” he said, half to himself.

 

 

 

Joe gave him another puzzled look. “What do you mean?” he asked, but then turned to the older man without waiting for a reply. “Pa … can you believe it?” he exclaimed. “It’s really him!  He’s not dead!”

 

 

 

“No …. I’m not dead,” replied Baker, repeating the one thing he was certain of in all of this. He blinked a couple of times as the four men gathered around him, each of them smiling happily at him and slapping him on the back several times. He frowned as he tried to come to terms with it all. These Cartwrights obviously knew him … but he hadn’t been expecting such an enthusiastic response to his arrival and they had quite taken him by surprise. The old fuzzy feeling in his head came back with a force that he hadn’t felt for months and he put his hand to his forehead wearily as he tried to smile at their enthusiasm.

 

 

 

The older man with silver hair … the one that Joe had called Pa … noticed the gesture straight away and ushered him to a seat. “Easy now boys,” he said to the other three. “Give the major time to breathe.”

 

 

 

Baker looked up at him as he sat down on the sofa. “Major?” he said.

 

 

 

The man smiled at him. “Yes,” he said, giving him a puzzled look. “Is there something wrong Major?  You look … uneasy.”

 

 

 

Baker put his face in his hands as the dizzy feeling became stronger. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It’s just ….” He was silent, unable to go on as the dizziness overcame him and his mind began to whirl with the possibilities that finally he had found a link to his past.

 

 

 

The silver-haired man sat down beside him and the other three clustered around with anxious looks on their faces. There was silence for a few minutes until Baker finally lifted his head and tried to smile at them. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I get like this at times. The dizziness … it takes over.”

 

 

 

“The silver-haired man smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “You’ve obviously had a difficult time of it.” Baker felt him glance for a moment at the long scar down the side of his face with a pitying look and he wondered what they would say if they could see the rest of the scars on his body that weren’t so visible. “I think you should rest a while,” the silver haired man continued.

 

 

 

“But Pa,” said Joe, stepping forward. “I want to ask …”

 

 

 

The other man put up his hand. “No Joseph,” he replied firmly. “Can’t you see that Major Baker is done in? We can save our questions for later.” He stood up. “Allow me to show you to the guest room Major.”

 

 

 

Baker stood up, swaying unsteadily on his feet. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble Mr …. Cartwright?”

 

 

 

“As if it would be any trouble for a friend such a you,” replied the other man.

 

 

 

Baker felt a sudden rush of emotion as he realised that no one that he could ever remembered had called him a friend. Tears sprang to his eyes and he brushed them away impatiently. To be considered a friend by someone … even if he didn’t yet know how or why … suddenly seemed too much for him to bear after all the years of wondering and he smiled back at them all. “It’s good to be here,” he said tentatively. “Here among … friends.”

 

 

 

“It’s wonderful to have you back with us alive,” said the silver-haired man. “Come … let me show you to the guest room.”

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

“But Pa,” protested Joe for the fourth time in as many minutes. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me talk to him. He’s been gone so long … aren’t you curious about where he’s been?”

 

 

 

“Of course I am Joe,” replied his father. “But the man was obviously overwhelmed by seeing us again. I thought he was about to collapse on the spot. He looked exhausted.”

 

 

 

“I think it was more than that,” mused Adam. “Didn’t you notice how uneasy he seemed to be?”

 

 

 

“Yeah,” agreed Hoss. “When I first saw him out in the yard .. well, it was looking at a ghost.”

 

 

 

“He ain’t no ghost,” snorted Joe. “He’s Baker for sure and he’s alive!” He hugged himself around the waist and beamed at them all. “I knew it!” he said. “Something told me that Baker couldn’t have been dead all these years. I just knew he’d come back to me one day!”

 

 

 

“What I can’t understand is why he never wrote in all these years,” said Adam. “He suddenly disappears … presumed dead … and now he turns up without a word. “Why?”

 

 

 

“Who cares?” said Joe happily. “He’s alive and that’s all that counts.” His expression sobered for a moment. “I wonder how he got that scar,” he mused. “Looks as if he’s been in some terrible fight.”

 

 

 

“I’m sure he’ll tell us all in time,” replied Ben. “When he’s ready. In the meantime, the man needs rest.”

 

 

 

Joe nodded. “Yeah,” he said, grinning again. “I’m just happy to have him back.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Baker reached the bottom step and glanced around the room, noting the blazing fire and the warmth that emanated from it. He hadn’t felt so at ease for …. well, for as long as he could remember … and the warmth seemed to seep into his very bones.  He took the letter from his pocket and studied it again, thinking how strange it was that the young man he’d met earlier had once been the child who had written it. Many years had obviously passed since he’d received it and he wondered yet again how the connection between himself and these people had been made. They had called him friend …. How had he come to be their friend? How had …

 

 

 

“Well you’re looking better than you did before!” Baker looked up to see the Cartwrights smiling at him from the dining room table. Strange that he hadn’t even noticed them there. His mind must be wandering worse than he’d thought.

 

 

 

Baker managed to smile. “I feel better,” he said. “I’m sorry about that before.”

 

 

 

“No need to apologise,” said the silver-haired man. “Please … come and join us.”

 

 

 

“Thank you Mr …. Cartwright,” he replied, sitting down at the table.

 

 

 

“I thought you’d learnt by now not to be so formal,” the other man replied. “It’s Ben … remember?”

 

 

 

Baker took a deep breath. “Actually …. No, I don’t remember,” he admitted. There was a stunned silence from the others, who stared at him …. obviously not understanding. “You see,” he continued. “I don’t remember anything to be honest.”

 

 

 

“Huh?” said Joe, leaning forward. “What do ya mean, you don’t remember anything? How …”

 

 

 

“Joseph,” cautioned his father, laying a hand on top of his son’s to silence him. “Let the Major speak.”

 

 

 

Baker looked at Ben. “You see … you call me Major Baker,” he said. “I’ve been in the army then?”

 

 

 

Joe opened his mouth in spite of his father’s warning. “What do ya mean … you’ve been in the army?” he asked incredulously. “Of course you are. How can ya not know that?”

 

 

 

“Joseph!” said his father.

 

 

 

Baker’s eyes met those of the young man opposite and he noted the disbelief and the anxiety within them. What ever his relationship with this youngster had been, it had been a close one for him to be so agitated at the thought that he hadn’t been remembered. “I’m sorry,” Baker said. “I suppose this all sounds very strange to you, but the truth is that I have no memory of my life before …” he touched the scar on his face. “ … before this happened.” He looked around at them all. “I came here to … well to see if you could help me.” He held out the letter to Joe. “Did you write this?” he asked.

 

 

 

Joe took the paper and read it. “You know that I did,” he said. “I sent it to you years ago.”

 

 

 

Baker shook his head ruefully. “No …” he replied. “I don’t know that you did. I don’t know anything. Until you stared calling me Baker, I thought that my name was Baka … like in the letter.”

 

 

 

“Little brother never was a good speller,” said Hoss with a grin.

 

 

 

Joe glared at his brother. “I was only eight,” he declared. “I reckon it was …”

 

 

 

“Boys!” interrupted their father. “Please! Go on Major.”

 

 

 

Baker drew another breath. “This letter is the only link I have with my past,” he said. “For the past five years I’ve wondered who I am and where I came from …” He put a hand to his head again. “I didn’t know …” His voice trailed away and he sat looking at them helplessly.

 

 

 

“Why did you wait five years before contacting us?” asked Adam.

 

 

 

Baker shot him a careful look. There was something about this particular man that worried him. It was almost as if he could see right through him and it made Baker feel uncomfortable. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Perhaps I was wary … wary of finding out who I was. I didn’t know … I didn’t know what to expect.”

 

 

 

“Then why didn’t you contact the army?” Adam persisted, giving Baker an intense look that made the other man look away.

 

 

 

“I’m not … sure,” Baker replied. “I suppose I was worried …” He shrugged. “There were so many things that I could have been … that I could have done … in my past. I was anxious about what they might have been.”

 

 

 

“Like a deserter?” asked Adam perceptively.

 

 

 

Baker avoided the man’s stare. “Yes,” he admitted. “I thought of that. This …” He fingered the scar again. “This had me wondering.”

 

 

 

“Well there’s no need for you to wonder,” interrupted Ben. “You were in no way a deserted Major. You were reported killed in action in Arizona five years ago. If anything, you were a hero.”

 

 

 

Baker breathed a sigh of relief. “I see,” he said. “So I am still technically in the army then?”

 

 

 

“I suppose so,” replied Ben.

 

 

 

“Was that where you got the scar?” asked Joe.

 

 

 

Baker looked confused. “I don’t know,” he said. “There’s a lot that I just don’t know.” He massaged his temples as the familiar feeling came back to him. “I’m sorry,” he said, standing up. “But I think I’ll go and lie down again.”

 

 

 

Joe handed him back the letter. “But don’t you want to know about us?” he asked. “You and me?  I want to tell you all about what happened and …”

 

 

 

“Joseph …. All in good time,” interrupted his father. “You go and rest Major. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like.”

 

 

 

“Thank you,” replied Baker and turned to go.

 

 

 

“But Pa!” said Joe as soon as Baker had disappeared at the top of the staircase. “I have to tell him about him and me. It might bring back his memory.”

 

 

 

“Perhaps,” replied his father, still staring at the top of the staircase where Baker had been only a minute before. “But you’re not going to force any memories on that man until he’s ready to hear them Joe. Leave it be until he asks.”

 

 

 

“I can’t believe me doesn’t remember me,” said Joe sadly. “It’s so strange to think that he doesn’t.”

 

 

 

“It’s even stranger for him,” said Adam. “It must be a terrible thing to not know who you are.”

 

 

 

“He’s been through hell,” said Ben. “You can see that just by looking at him. Boys, the best thing we can do for the Major is to give him time. Hopefully we’ll be able to help him come to terms with his past in time.”

 

 

 

“We will,” said Joe confidently. “When I get to tell him all about him and me, he’ll remember. I know that he will.”

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Ben looked up from the newspaper he was reading and smiled as Baker came down the stairs. “Sleep well?” he asked.

 

 

 

Baker nodded as he sat down. “Wonderfully,” he said. “I haven’t slept that well in … well, for as long as I can remember. The air is so wonderful here.”

 

 

 

“It’s the high altitude,” said Ben. “Coffee?”

 

 

 

Baker nodded as Ben picked up the coffeepot in front of him and began to pour two cups. “Thank you,” he replied.

 

 

 

“The boys have all left for the day,” said Ben as he poured. “Joe wanted to stay behind, but I thought it would be best for you to have some quiet space without being plagued with his questions yet.”

 

 

 

Baker tried to smile. “Thank you,” he said. “I suppose this is all very strange for all of you.”

 

 

 

Ben handed him the cup of coffee. “No less strange than it is for you,” he said. “It took a lot of courage for you to come here Major. The least we can do is to try and help you after all you’ve done for Joseph over the years.” He smiled as Baker lifted an eyebrow in response to his question. “There’s plenty of time for all of that,” Ben said. “The important thing right now is helping you. I have a good friend who is the doctor in these parts. I could ask him to come and see you if you would like me to.”

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “Thanks you Mr … I mean Ben,” he replied. “But I can assure you that I’ve seen many doctors over the last five years. There’s nothing any of them can do for me. it appears that this … amnesia they call it … is something that not many people understand. They all seem to think that they only way I can be helped is to confront my past.” He sighed and looked around the room. “That’s why I came here. I thought that someone or something might help me to remember.”

 

 

 

“And it hasn’t?” asked Ben, leaning forward.

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “No,” he said. “Not yet anyway.”

 

 

 

“Give it some more time,” said Ben. “I meant what I said last night Major. You are welcome to stay here as long as you wish to and hopefully something may help.”

 

 

 

“Tell me about your son Joe,” said Baker. “Why did I have his letter? What connection do I have with him?”

 

 

 

Ben put down his coffee cup and sat back in his chair. “You first met Joe many years ago when he was seven years old,” he said. “He had run away form home …”

 

 

 

“To visit his brother Adam in Boston?” interrupted Baker. “I gathered that from his letter.

 

 

 

“Yes,” Ben chuckled. “Adam had gone back east to college in Boston. Joe had been missing him dreadfully and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take him to visit Adam. Well one day he just took it into that head of his to go by himself.”  His face sobered. “He lost his way in the first day and I … well I was certain that I’d lost him forever.”  He drew a hand over his face, and Baker could see that even after all these years he was still affected by his young son’s disappearance.

 

 

 

“That must have been terrible for you,” he sympathised.

 

 

 

Ben smiled at him. “Yes,” he said. There was silence for a moment before he continued. “Just as I was giving up hope of ever seeing him again, a message arrived from the army. You had found him during a scrub battle with some Paiutes and had taken him back to the fort.”

 

 

 

“I see,” said Baker. “So he’d been with the Indians … for how long?”

 

 

 

“A couple of months,” replied Ben. “You were the one who actually found him and looked after him until I made it down there to pick him up. You and he had become very close in that time. In the weeks following, he talked non-stop about his Baker.”

 

 

 

“I see,” mused Baker. “And it was after that he sent me the letter.”

 

 

 

Ben nodded. “It was one of many that you both exchanged over the years,” he said. “Joe has kept the rest of them. The army sent them to him when you died along with the rest of your things. It seems that you left them to him in your will.”

 

 

 

Baker stared at Ben, thinking how strange it was to hear someone talk of his dying so casually. “I had no family then?” he asked. “There was no one else?”

 

 

 

“No one that we know of,” said Ben. “Five years ago you turned up here at the ranch and got to meet with Joe all over again.” He smiled at Baker. “You saved his life.”

 

 

 

Baker frowned. “I did?” he said.

 

 

 

Ben nodded. “Yes. My impulsive son got himself captured by the Paiutes and you basically got him out of a very difficult situation. If it hadn’t been for you Major, well I wouldn’t have my boy with me now. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve given me back my son twice and I would do anything for you in return.” He looked at Baker anxiously. “Does any of this help?” he asked.

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “No,” he said. “Perhaps if I contact the army it will. There might be someone there who can … help me to remember.”

 

 

 

“I can organise to send them a wire if you like,” said Ben. “You were stationed at Fort Hopetoun and there may still be someone down there who remembers you. Besides, you really should let the army know that you’re alive.”

 

 

 

Baker nodded. “Thank you,” he said in a vague voice. “That would be very helpful.” His mind was whirl with all the information that Ben had given him. Buy why did none of it mean anything to him? Why hadn’t any of it sounded familiar? He could only hope, as Ben had said, that time would bring back something familiar to his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

“Pa said that he told you bout how we met.”

 

 

 

Baker turned to see Joe standing on the porch near the climbing rose in the large flowerpot. He eased back on the wooden bench on which he was sitting and nodded. “Yes,” he said.

 

 

 

Joe grinned at him and practically bounced across the porch to sit beside him. “I’m glad,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you bout it all since you got here.” His smile grew broader. “We had some great times together Baker,” he added. “Here …” he thrust a small wooden box towards the man. “These will help you to remember.”

 

 

 

Baker took the box. “What is it?” he asked.

 

 

 

“All the letters we sent to each other over the years,” explained Joe. “Read them. You’ll remember it all once you have.”  He grinned at Baker happily, his eyes alight with the thought of it.

 

 

 

“Thank you,” said Baker stiffly. This young man was obviously so happy that he was here, yet he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable about it. He felt that Joe was expecting so much from him that he just didn’t feel and couldn’t deliver. “I’ll take a look at them,” he finished lamely, not knowing what else to say.

 

 

 

Joe leant forward eagerly. “You and me were really good friends,” he said. “When I was at the fort, you …”

 

 

 

Baker held up a hand to silence the young man. “I think I’d better read the letters first,” he said. “They might help to fill in the missing gaps.”

 

 

 

“Yeah,” agreed Joe. “But I could tell you as well about …”

 

 

 

“Thank you,” replied Baker politely. “But I’ll just read the letters now if you don’t mind.”

 

 

 

Joe looked hurt. “Sure,” he said. “Whatever you want Baker.” He stood up. “Let me know if there’s any questions I can answer for you.”

 

 

 

“Thank you. I will,” replied Baker as he opened the box and took out one of the letters and began to read it. Joe stood for a moment in silence and then turned and walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

“They didn’t help at all?” asked Ben at supper that night.

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “No,” he admitted. “I hoped they would … but no …. nothing.”

 

 

 

“I know what you’ll remember,” said Joe, jumping up with excitement showing in his eyes. “I’ll get them. Wait until you see these Baker!” He ran up the stairs two at a time.

 

 

 

“You’ll have to excuse Joe,” explained Ben with a smile. “He’s just so excited to see you again after thinking that you were dead all these years.”

 

 

 

“I understand,” replied Baker, trying to sound as if he did. The young man was obviously trying so hard to help him to remember and he hated to observe the disappointment in his eyes each time he looked at him for a spark of recognition.

 

 

 

“Hoss went into town and sent that wire off to the army today,” said Ben. “Perhaps their answer might help in some way.”  He patted Baker on the shoulder. “I’m sure things will work out in the long run.”

 

 

 

Baker nodded and tried to smile again as Joe appeared at the top of the stairs and bounded down them two at a time until he reached the bottom four and then jumped them in one step.

 

 

 

“Joseph!” said Ben, noticing Baker wince and hold his head at the noise. “Quietly please son.”

 

 

 

“Sorry,” said Joe. He thrust something into Baker’s hands. “Here,” he said, grinning at the man. “Remember these?”

 

 

 

Baker looked at the objects in his hands and turned them over thoughtfully. “No,” he said finally. “Were they mine when I was in the army?”

 

 

 

Joe’s face fell. “No,” he said, studying Baker earnestly. “Don’t you remember?”

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I’m sorry …. But I don’t.”

 

 

 

Joe took them back again and held them up so that his father and brothers could see them. “You gave me these army gloves and bandanna when I was in the fort with you,” he said, looking at Baker. “You said that I could ride so well that I was just about ready to join up.” He smiled hopefully at the man, but Baker looked at him blankly. “It was on the day that I wanted to try riding your horse,” went on Joe. “I think I was probably showing off a bit ….”

 

 

 

“Fancy that,” said Adam with a grin.

 

 

 

Joe smirked at his brother before continuing. “Yeah … well everyone clapped me and you gave me these,” he finished. “Remember how I used to wear em everywhere?  I would take em off.”

 

 

 

“No,” said Baker.

 

 

 

“Remember the Colonel,” enthused Joe. “I was a bit scared of him because he had such a bushy moustache and really big sideburns.” He giggled at the memory. “I told you that I didn’t like him and he over heard me. Well, the next day he had shaved it all off!” He laughed. “I’ll never forget the look on your face Baker!”

 

 

 

“I’ll bet it was the same look he gave you when you peed on him,” said Adam with a chuckle.

 

 

 

Joe looked slightly embarrassed. “I couldn’t help it,” he said with a grin. “There was this one time that …”

 

 

 

Baker stood up. “I’m sorry Joe,” he interrupted. “I appreciate you trying in this way, but none of this means anything to me. I don’t remember it.” Joe’s face fell as Baker turned to Ben. “Excuse me,” he said. “I think I’ll have an early night.” He walked up the stairs and disappeared.

 

 

 

There was silence for a few moments until Joe stood up as well, his face downcast. “I think I’ll go to bed early as well,” he said abruptly. “Good night.”

 

 

 

There was silence again in the room.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Joe drew in a sharp breath as he stood in the doorway of the guest room and looked at the scarred torso of the man standing in the middle of the room. Baker turned at the noise and gave him a rueful smile. “Hard to look at them if you’re not used to it,” he said, pulling a nightshirt over his head and hiding the scars.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry,” said Joe, trying not to look shocked. “I didn’t mean to … I just came to see if you needed anything.”

 

 

 

“No thank you,” said Baker. “I’m fine.”  He stood and waited. Joe hesitated before walking into the room and sat down a chair. “I’m tired,” said Baker pointedly. “I was thinking that I’d try and get some sleep.”

 

 

 

Joe didn’t take the hint. “I was hoping that we might be able to talk for a bit,” he suggested.

 

 

 

Baker didn’t move. “I really am tired Joe,” he said. “Perhaps another time?”

 

 

 

Joe looked slightly hurt. “Of course,” he said. “I’m sorry.” He hesitated. “Goodnight.”

 

 

 

“Goodnight,” replied Baker, already turning his back on the young man. Joe stood waiting for a moment and then left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

“Joe?”  Joe turned from the window to see his father standing in the doorway to his room. “I thought you’d be asleep by now,” Ben said, walking in.

 

 

 

Joe shook his head. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said.

 

 

 

“Are you alright son?” asked Ben, coming to stand beside him.

 

 

 

Joe shook his head and sighed. “I went in to see Baker in his room,” he said. “Just to see if there was anything I could do for him … you know … if there was anything he needed.”

 

 

 

“And?”

 

 

 

“He said no.” Joe gave his father a sorrowful look. “He practically told me to leave,” he said. “I got the feeling that he didn’t want me around him.”

 

 

 

Ben nodded. “Joe you have to understand that he’s been through a lot in these past few years,” he said. “More than we’ll probably ever know.”

 

 

 

“I know that,” replied Joe. “But all I want to do is to help him, and he won’t let me. When he first came I was so happy Pa. But now it’s like … well, he’s not my Baker anymore. He’s not the same Baker that I knew. Do you know how hard it is to see him looking at me … the Baker that I remember … and yet not knowing who I am? He’s just not my Baker.”

 

 

 

Ben smiled and rubbed the back of his son’s neck. “Joe … I know we have always referred to him as your Baker … but he’s not really, you know. He doesn’t belong to you like a horse son … He belongs to himself.”

 

 

 

Joe nodded. “I know that,” he said. “But it’s just that I want things to be like they were before Pa. I feel like he’s a stranger.”

 

 

 

“He is a stranger to us all as far as he’s concerned Joe,” replied Ben. “He can’t help that. Just give him time son … give him time.”

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Joe reined in his horse and waited for Baker to catch up. He smiled at him as he did so and pointed ahead. “We’ll stop here,” he said. “You can get a really good look at the lake from here.”

 

 

 

“It’s very beautiful,” said Baker as he dismounted and stood looking at the scene before him. “Very beautiful,” he said, breathed in the fresh air and closed his eyes momentarily. “This is a wonderful to live Joe. Thank you for showing me around The Ponderosa today.”

 

 

 

“My pleasure,” said Joe. “I’m glad that you’re feeling better.”

 

 

 

“It must be this fresh air,” replied Baker, smiling at him.

 

 

 

Joe returned the smile with a broad one of his own and indicated a rock next to them. “We can sit here for a bit if you like,” he said, sitting down. Baker sat down next to him and stared at the below lake down below them. “Do you remember any of this?” asked Joe.

 

 

 

Baker looked at him. “I’ve been here before?” he asked.

 

 

 

Joe nodded. “Yeah. I brought you up here five years ago when you first came to visit,” he replied.

 

 

 

Baker shook his head. “No,” he said. “I don’t remember it. Sorry.”

 

 

 

Joe shrugged, trying not to let his disappointment show. “Do you mind if I ask you something?” he said.  Baker shook his head. “How did you get … the scars?” asked Joe. “Was it at the time that they thought you’d been killed?”

 

 

 

This time it was Baker’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I suppose so. The first thing that I remember is waking up in the mission in New Mexico.”

 

 

 

“You were supposedly killed in Arizona fighting Apaches,” said Joe. “How did you end up in New Mexico?”

 

 

 

Baker picked up a small pebble and threw it down the hillside. They both listened to it making its way down the slope before he answered. “I don’t know,” he said. “There is so much that I just don’t know.”

 

 

 

Joe swallowed. “I suppose you’ve worked out by now that we’ve been kinda close,” he said, plucking at the long grass by his feet.

 

 

 

Baker nodded. “So your father told me,” he replied. “We go quite a long way back apparently.”

 

 

 

“When I was a kid and you looked after me,” ventured Joe. “I really … well I really got to love you then Baker.”  Baker shifted uncomfortable on the rock, wishing that the young man would stop talking. He didn’t want to know about how Joe felt … it just seemed so strange to have someone he didn’t even know talking to him like this. “I was so pleased when you came to visit five years ago,” continued Joe. “You basically saved my life then.”

 

 

 

“So your father said,” replied Baker, avoiding Joe’s intense gaze by staring at the lake.

 

 

 

“I’ll do anything I can to help you,” continued Joe earnestly. “Anything at all. I really want you to get your memory back.”

 

 

 

Baker finally turned to face Joe. “Thank you Joe,” he said. “No one wants me to get my memory back more than I do, but one thing I know for sure is that I can’t force it.”

 

 

 

“I know that,” replied Joe. “But I just keep thinking how great it will be when you do remember Baker. We can talk about …”

 

 

 

“And what if I don’t?” interrupted the other man. “What then?  Look Joe, I understand that you want me to be whatever it was that I was to you before, but at the moment I just can’t be that man. Who knows … perhaps I never will?”  He stood up and looked down at Joe. “Please don’t expect me to feel anything for you. The truth is that I don’t … and I can’t. I’m sorry.”  He turned and walked back to his horse again and mounted up. “Thank you for showing me the ranch,” he said. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

 

 

 

Joe waited until the other man had left before he allowed himself the luxury of putting his face in his hands and giving way to his feeling of loss.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you sure?” said Ben, looking at Baker anxiously. “Are you up to it?”

 

 

 

Baker nodded. “Yes,” he replied. “I’m grateful to you for allowing me to stay this long, but this wire from the army means that I should get down to Fort Hopetoun as soon as possible and meet this …” he studied the wire again. “Colonel Chadwick. If he remembers me as he says, then he might really be able to help me gain my memory.”  He looked around the room dolefully. “Nothing here has helped me as I thought it might, I can only hope that down there it will be different.”

 

 

 

“We’ll be sorry to se you go,” said Ben.

 

 

 

“Thank you,” replied Baker standing up. “But I must. I’ll leave in the morning.”

 

 

 

“Joe will be devastated when he hears that you’re leaving,” Ben persisted.

 

 

 

Baker shrugged. “ I’m sorry, but that can’t be helped.” There was an awkward silence between them and then he added. “I can’t be something I’m not to him. Goodnight.”

 

 

 

“Goodnight,” said Ben, staring after the man as he walked up the stairs.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Joe knocked tentatively on the bedroom door and waited until he heard a voice from inside telling him to come in. He opened the door and glanced into the room, thinking how strange it was that he should be so unsure of himself around Baker. It was so hard to look into the face that he knew so well and loved so much only to have Baker stare back at him blankly. Every time it happened he felt like shaking the man, in spite of the fact that he knew that it just wasn’t his fault. “I’m sorry to disturb you,” he said. “But Pa told me that you are leaving in the morning.”

 

 

 

“Yes,” said Baker.

 

 

 

The silence hung between them in the air and was so thick that Joe felt that he could reach out and grab hold of it. How had things come to this? How was it that they had become such strangers? He held out a brown paper wrapped parcel towards the other man. “These are yours,” he said. “You should have them before you go.”

 

 

 

Baker took the parcel. “What is it?” he asked.

 

 

 

Joe shrugged. “Your things. When you died … I mean, when they thought that you had died …. You left them to me. I’ve kept them for the past few years to remember you by, but they really belong to you.”

 

 

 

Baker opened the parcel and stared down at the razor, the pocket watch and the bundle of letters tied up with a piece of hide, which he’d already read.  “Is this it?” he asked.

 

 

 

“Yes,” said Joe. “That was all they sent me.”

 

 

 

Baker shook his head, the futility of life suddenly swamping him. “My whole life and this is all I had,” he said bitterly. “Some success I made of things!”

 

 

 

Joe bit his lip, thinking how unlike Baker the remark was. “You were a success in things that mattered,” he said defensively. “You were a great friend to me.”

 

 

 

“No offence Joe, but that just doesn’t mean a lot to me right about now,” Baker replied, fingering the watch in his hands. “You’re a god kid, but …” his voice trailed away and he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what else to say.

 

 

 

Joe took a step forward. “Baker we can get to know each other all over again. The past might be gone, but we still have the future. If you’d only stay for a while longer ….”

 

 

 

“No,” said Baker. “I have to go.”

 

 

 

“You won’t stay? Not even for me?” Joe looked at the other man pleadingly. “Please? We can get our friendship back again Baker … I know we can. If only you’d try!”

 

 

 

“No,” said Baker firmly.

 

 

 

“But …” Joe bit his lip, trying to find the words to get through to the man. “But Baker, I … I really want …”

 

 

 

Baker turned to face him. “This isn’t about you Joe, it’s about me,” he said tersely. “You don’t get it do you? I need to concentrate on getting my life back at the moment and I don’t have the time or energy to worry about you and what you want. I don’t remember you Joe and I doubt that I ever will. All you are to me is a nice kid who apparently I once knew. I’m leaving tomorrow and as far as I’m concerned I’m not leaving anything behind me that matters much. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but that’s just the way that it is.”

 

 

 

Joe swallowed as Baker’s words hit him … each one like a bullet straight in the chest. “I see,” he said. “I’m sorry then. I thought …” he hung his head. “Never mind what I thought… I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

 

 

Baker nodded as he untied the leather thong that tied up the letters and threw it on the ground as he started to undo the first one to read it again. Joe stared at the small piece of leather on the floor and the memory of a young boy with matted hair at once sprung to his mind. He felt once more the hands of the young soldier who had smiled down at him as he brushed Joe’s unruly curls back from his forehead and tucked them under the thong, and his heart lurched for the man that he’d known and was now lost to him. He bent down and picked it up. “Do you mind if I keep this?” he asked.

 

 

 

Baker looked up absently. “What? Oh that old thing? No … take it … it’s yours,” he said dismissively. Joe nodded slightly as he clutched the leather thong tightly in his fist and then walked out of the room with his head bent.

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Baker hesitated as he reached the bottom stair and stood with his hand on the banister as he looked at the four Cartwrights who were in the living room. “Well I suppose this is goodbye,” he said, holding his hand out to Ben. “Thank you for everything Ben. I really appreciate what you’ve all tried to do for me.”

 

 

 

Ben shook the man’s hand warmly. “Our home is your home,” he said. “Any time you want Major.”

 

 

 

“Thank you,” replied Baker. “Adam …. Hoss,” he reached out shook both their hands and then turned to Joe. “Joe,” he said, holding out his hand to the young man. “I’m sorry that it didn’t work out as you would have liked it to.”

 

 

 

Joe stared at the outstretched hand, wanting more than anything to ignore and give Baker a hug instead. But instead he simply took the other man’s hand and shook it. “I thought I’d ride into town with you and see you off on the stage,” he said as Baker withdrew his hand and picked up his bag.

 

 

 

“That’s not necessary,” said Baker.

 

 

 

“I know,” replied Joe. “But I’d like to.”

 

 

 

“No,” said Baker, beginning to walk towards the door. “Thank you anyway.”

 

 

 

Joe stepped forward. “Baker ….” He began.

 

 

 

“Goodbye,” said Baker firmly. “Nice to have met you all.” He walked over, opened the front door and walked outside to his horse.

 

 

 

Joe followed him, standing on the porch and staring after him wistfully as Baker turned in the saddle and waved. He leant against the pole on which trailed the rose that climbed up onto the roof and stared into the distance as the sound of Baker’s horse’s hooves gradually diminished until they could be heard no more.

 

 

 

Ben came and stood next to his son, putting his hand on the back of Joe’s neck and rubbing it gently. “It’s for the best Joe,” he said quietly. “He has to go and find his own life.”

 

 

 

Joe nodded, still staring into the distance. “Yes,” he said. He glanced at his father. “I think I’ll go for a ride,” he said.

 

 

 

“Don’t be long,” Ben called after him as Joe walked away.

 

 

 

Adam and Hoss came to stand next to their father as they all watched Joe ride away.  “He’s taking it hard,” observed Adam.

 

 

 

Ben nodded. “Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “He felt like he’d got Baker back and now he’s coming to the realisation that he didn’t … that he probably never will. That’s a heard thing to come to terms with.”

 

 

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

 

 

Ben dismounted from his horse and stood looking at his youngest son for a moment before walking over to him. “I thought I might find you here,” he said, sitting down next to him and looking out over the lake.

 

 

 

Joe gave his father a small smile as he plucked at a tuft of grass next to his feet. “I just needed some time alone to think,” he said.

 

 

 

Ben nodded. “I understand Joe,” he said. “But it’s getting late. Time to come home now son.”

 

 

 

Joe sighed as he wrapped his arms around his drawn-up knees and placed his chin on top of them. “I’m really going to miss him Pa,” he said softly. “Stupid really, because he’s been gone all these years …. But having got him back so suddenly I was hoping …” he sighed again. “I’m just really going to miss him that’s all.”

 

 

 

“I know,” said Ben, putting his hand on his son’s shoulder.

 

 

 

“I’m going to miss him so much, but he didn’t even seem to care,” continued Joe, gazing at the water in front of him. “Do you think he’ll ever remember me Pa?”

 

 

 

Ben shook his head. “I don’t know son.”

 

 

 

“Well if he does, then I hope he’ll come back to see me one day,” said Joe.

 

 

 

“And in the meantime son, all we can hope for is that he will live his life the best way he knows how. Whether you are a part of his future or not son, you have to understand that. Just because we feel a certain way about someone doesn’t mean that they’re always going to feel the same way about us Joe. Sometimes we have to learn to let go those that we truly love,” said Ben.

 

 

 

Joe closed his eyes momentarily. “Yes,” he said softly.

 

 

 

“You have the memories of him,” continued his father. “When we have memories of someone, we never really lose them you know.”  Ben got a faraway look in his eyes as he glanced at Marie’s grave next to them and he thought about a moment about the beautiful woman who was the mother of this young man beside him. “Treasure the memory of Baker, Joe … Its his legacy to you.”

 

 

 

Joe gave his father a small smile. “I hope he’ll be happy … whatever happens to him,” he said. He sat up straight and fingered the leather thong in his hand, and his father looked at it curiously.

 

 

 

“What’s that?” he asked.

 

 

 

“Nothing,” replied Joe, looking down at it. “Just a scrap I found … nothing important.” He smiled at his father. “I guess we should go home now then?” he said and Ben nodded.

 

 

 

Father and son stood up together and walked back towards their horses. Joe put the leather thong into his shirt pocket, next to his heart for safekeeping.

 

The End

Next Story in the Baker’s Brat Series:

Baker’s Destiny