SUMMARY:  The story is the WHI for She Walks In Beauty to answer the question of what might have happened if Regan stayed and she and Hoss married.  That decision would not only affect her and Hoss but Adam and the rest of the family as well.  Here is one version of what those effects might be.

Rating = T  Word Count = 33,467

Broken Bonds

Chapter 1

In his room, Adam Cartwright could hear all the sounds of the party he had expected to end much earlier. The only conclusion he could draw was the one that was confirmed when his father knocked on the door and stepped in hours later. The look on his father’s face told the story well before the words made his sour stomach churn.

“Hoss is still intent on marrying Regan. He says her past doesn’t matter. As for what happened with you, he said to tell you that you are not welcome at the wedding unless you apologize to Regan and to him.”

“Apologize?” Adam hissed that word as if it was painful to say it. It was emotionally painful to accept too. “For what exactly am I apologizing? That I was stupid enough to let her kiss me? That I went there to try to see if she meant to hurt Hoss and found out she hasn’t changed at all? That I used poor judgment in approaching a woman who has bested men far more sophisticated than I am in dealing with women like her?”

“Adam, we’re not going to get anywhere that way. I know what you’re feeling. I tried to talk to her as well. I thought I had her willing to consider what a marriage to Hoss could do to him, but then she spoke with Hoss.”

Trying to think, Adam had no response but no coherent thoughts either as to what to do. All he could think of was what Hoss probably wanted but knew that suited Regan’s purposes too. Yet, he could hardly deny his brother that.

“When is the wedding?”

“Two weeks. Hoss doesn’t want to wait any longer than necessary.”

“The stories could be circulating by then. Too many people travel down to the Bay and back regularly. As soon as they hear the news of the engagement, they’ll be talking, and it won’t take long for the stories to get back here.”

“I think Hoss knows that. He said Regan told him the truth about her background tonight even though he told her she didn’t have to do that. He told her it didn’t matter because he loved her. As far as he’s concerned, they start fresh.”

“Except for what he thinks he saw this afternoon.”

“Yes, I’m afraid he’s not letting the anger go from that. Adam, can you apologize?”

“Pa, do you think he would accept a simple ‘I’m sorry’ from me at this point?”

“I suppose not.”

“I don’t think I can do more than that. I am sorry it happened, but I can’t accept full responsibility for it nor tell him that I kissed her to absolve her of all her part in it. Yes, I let her kiss me to see if she would. I didn’t plan for that to happen, and when I saw what she intended, I should have stopped her. I was surprised, and I waited to see if she would actually do it. That was wrong, but I didn’t encourage her and I didn’t set out to kiss her or do anything to make it happen. I won’t apologize as if I did.”

“Why not?” Joe had appeared at the open door. “Why can’t you accept the full responsibility if it means holding this family together? I heard you admit you were wrong so why not simply say that? Why can’t you say you were sorry because what you did was wrong?”

“Because, Joe, that implies that I kissed her which is what Hoss still thinks. I don’t want him to think that of me. He will always think that of me for the rest of my life. I can accept that he knows I make mistakes and that I did something stupid. But I don’t want him to think I kissed the woman that he loves.”

“I don’t see how the two things are that different.”

“Son, I do see the difference. Brothers have a bond. Adam is afraid that if Hoss believes that he kissed Regan, the bond is broken. Think about it. What would he think of you if he thought you had kissed Regan? He knows you kiss a lot of women, but the woman he loves? Could he accept that?”

“But I would never kiss Regan.” Joe thought for a moment. “I get it now. I see what you’re saying, but isn’t there some way you could apologize without admitting that? I mean, I don’t want our family broken up over this.”

“Maybe if I make myself scarce for a while, that would help. Tempers could cool and there would be time to think. I could take a ride up to the line cabin that got hit by lightning and do the repairs that are needed. That should take at least a week.”

“Adam, you’re hurt. Are you sure you want to take a long ride and then work like that?”

“Pa, I’m only bruised a bit.”

Ben wasn’t so sure that was all, but as long as Adam could ride, it probably was the best solution for the short term. “All right. Do you want someone with you?”

“No, I think I’d rather be alone for this one. I’ll be back before the wedding to get this resolved somehow.”

“I hope you can think of a plan, son.”

There was nothing left to say. They all went to their beds thinking they had a plan and expecting to say goodbye in the morning. Adam heard Hoss come home a short time later and almost expected him to come in for a confrontation when he heard him pause in the hall. His heart pounded faster at that thought. He was relieved when he heard that other bedroom door close. Sitting for another hour and unable to sleep, he packed clothing and necessities in saddlebags and carried those and his boots as he walked down the stairs. After he packed up minimal supplies in the kitchen so as not to wake Hop Sing, he headed to the barn. He saddled up Sport and got a packhorse ready. A trip to the storehouse for tools, tarpaper, and nails was the last thing he had to do, and he was ready to go. With dawn only a short time away, he planned to ride slowly in the moonlight until then. With luck, he hoped he wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground but might actually get to the line cabin by nightfall.

Hoss saw him ride out. He had mixed feelings about that. Regan had told him that she had kissed Adam, but he didn’t want to accept that. Somehow, he wanted to believe Adam had kissed her, but now Adam was leaving instead of admitting it so it was further evidence that Regan had told him the truth. If she had, then everything else she said was the truth too. Although he wanted to believe they could have a fresh start, he wondered if she could she really love him. His fear now was that she was using him in some great scheme of hers. If she was, the one man he would normally go to for advice was riding away from him, and it was all his fault. So many times, he had told people that Adam didn’t lie. If he said something, then it was the truth. Yet this time, Hoss hadn’t believed him.

Sitting back down on his bed, Hoss tried to understand what had happened. When he had hit Adam and flung him across the room, Adam hadn’t hit back. He hadn’t even defended himself. Hoss wondered why. At first, he had thought it was because Adam knew he was guilty, but now he worried that it was because Adam felt sorry for him because Adam had found out what kind of woman Regan was. Maybe Adam hadn’t wanted to cause him any more pain. Yes, he knew Adam probably felt bad about what he had done or let Regan do. That might be another reason he let himself be hit. He had that tendency to take the blame for things so he probably figured he had it coming. As Hoss sat there, he realized it could have been a combination of both things. Adam would have had a lot of time to think about it on the way home. Guilt would have been eating at him as well as worry about his brother.

“Damn!”

Now Adam was riding away and there was no way for them to settle it. Based on the direction, Hoss surmised he was going to be working up in their northeast pastures. Well, he hoped he wouldn’t run into any trouble. They had too many people heading through on the way to California lately. It could be a problem for a man alone up there. He said as much when he got the chance to say something at breakfast.

“Adam thought it best if the two of you had a chance to cool down for a week.”

“Yeah, that might be true. I’m cooled down already. I guess maybe he needs more time to get over being mad at me.”

“He’s not mad, Hoss.” Joe was surprised Hoss would think that. “He didn’t want to have another fight with you. He wants to figure out a way to apologize.”

“He does.”

“Yeah, he didn’t know how to do it last night. He said he hoped he would have a way to settle things between you two by the time he got back.”

“So, he could be back for my wedding?”

“He plans on it, son. He wants to be here for you.”

“Good. I hope we can talk it out. I’m sorry I did what I did. Regan talked to me, and I know I was so dadblamed jealous, I did it without thinking or talking at all.”

“Regan is a beautiful woman, son. You’re going to have to curb that jealousy. I know. I was married to three beautiful women. Men look. Sometimes they say things. You can’t fight every time that happens.”

“I know, Pa, but it ain’t gonna be easy. I think It may be that we’re gonna hafta spend a lot of time on the ranch at least ’til things settle down for us.”

“That may be the case.”

“I want to build her a nice house, Pa. That oughta keep us busy for a while. I was hoping that . . .” Hoss was going to say that he wanted Adam to design one for them, but realized that wasn’t likely to happen. No one said much after that. At the end of breakfast, Hoss said he was going over to see Regan to talk about their plans.

Miles away, Adam was regretting the plans he had made. Riding was far more difficult than he had anticipated. Every step Sport took sent pain through his back. He was hoping it was nothing too serious. He considered turning back, but there was only pain there too. If he made it to the line shack, he could rest there for a few days and let the worst of it heal. If he didn’t finish the repairs, it wouldn’t be much of a problem. They had months to go before it would likely be needed again. At the first stream he came to, he stopped to water the horses and rest. Blood in his urine told him he better take it easy. He stayed there for almost two hours sleeping for a time and then riding slowly for a few more hours before he took another break. Although he knew it meant a night camping, it was better than suffering debilitating damage from riding too much. It was late the next day before he arrived at the cabin. He took his time setting up for the work he had to do, taking care of the horses, and getting part of the cabin in decent shape for him to use. As soon as he finished, he fell into a restless sleep.

Not the only one to suffer from sleep deprivation, Adam was on the minds of several at the ranch house too but especially Hoss. At her home, Regan was fretting as well. She wondered how much he had told his brother, and Hoss worried about what he had done and about what Adam had said to him. When Hoss and Regan were together, neither talked about what had happened though spending their time together planning their future. Only once did the Adam come up in those conversations and Hoss quickly put a halt to it. Hoss wanted to build a house for them, but for the time being, they would be living in the main house at the Ponderosa.

“Hoss, do you think that will be all right?”

“Why wouldn’t it be all right?”

“Well, with Adam there too, won’t there be a chance there could be trouble?”

“There won’t be no trouble. No need to talk about it. That’s all been settled.”

Because he said it so forcefully, Regan let it drop. She remembered Ben saying that Hoss had nearly killed his brother or might have done so. Inside, she was glad that Adam had taken what must have been a good beating from Hoss. For the way he had acted with her, she deemed it appropriate. That had been demeaning to her the way he wiped his lips after she kissed him as if he was disgusted by her lips having been on his. Although she regretted her actions with Adam, she hadn’t been able to think of any other way to handle him and still didn’t. After what had happened, she assumed he would be no more trouble for her. Joe would do whatever Hoss wanted, so the only obstacle was Ben. For the moment, he seemed willing to let Hoss have his way so she was being granted the opportunity to do what she wished. After that party, she wasn’t even sure what that was, but getting married and being respectable were good first steps.

With the lack of flow so far this month, she needed that marriage to happen as scheduled too. If she was still in the city, she could have taken care of her worry. In fact, she knew she could do the same in Virginia City, but with Hop Sing and others, the news would get back to the Cartwrights and there would be no marriage. No, if she carried a child, she was going to have to carry this one to term. At least her last lover had been a man with light brown hair. If she was with child, any baby she had would resemble Hoss enough that there should be no question and she had allowed him enough liberties that it could be his or so she would tell him when the baby came a bit early. If she was a religious woman and her concern was correct, she would have prayed that it wouldn’t be too early. A few weeks wouldn’t be that hard to explain and not too extraordinary, but if it was a month or more, there would be questions and not only from the community. That could be enough for Hoss to wonder, and that she could not risk. She had a back-up plan but hoped she wouldn’t have to implement it. Long ago, she had learned it was always a good idea to have a second plan if the first one didn’t work. Her sister Amelia was good at that too. When Hoss started talking about postponing the wedding, she suddenly had to come up with an alternative and quickly. She opted for the truth. It was so unlike her that she ended up being completely honest with Hoss.

“Darling, I was thinking maybe we’re rushing too fast. Maybe we oughta wait a few weeks until all this talk dies down. It would give me a chance to talk with Adam and settle things between us better too.”

“Hoss, we can’t wait. I may be with child.” Regan told him why she thought that and was surprised at how happy that made Hoss. “You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset? Having a baby is the best news you could give me. Heck, lots of folks have a baby not that long after getting married. Having one a few weeks early ain’t no big deal at all. Maybe if we lived in San Francisco or some high falutin’ place like that it would be but not here.”

“Then we can get married when we planned?”

“Of course. We won’t tell anybody our news until the usual time for telling such things though.”

“Ah, Hoss, when is the usual time for telling such things?”

“Usually, it’s the quickening when ladies tell their husbands and other ladies who is friends with ’em. The husbands brag to their friends too. That’s how I know.”

Hoss was in turmoil with joy at that news, nervousness about his upcoming wedding, and a mixture of guilt and anger over Adam whenever he thought about him. Knowing he had lost his temper and lashed out at Adam in jealousy didn’t help at all. He wanted to know what had happened that afternoon, and he didn’t want to know. Either way hurt him. Sometimes he wished he could wipe that memory from his mind because it soiled his relationship with two people he loved. At that moment though, his future was with one of them, and he didn’t know how to salvage the one with his brother and keep Regan. All he could do each day was do what had to be done and hope things worked out in time.

At the cabin, Adam washed his clothing, made some repairs to the cabin, set snares, and spent quite a bit of time sleeping. He knew the damage he had suffered was taking a toll on him, and when he started running a fever, he wondered if he had caught something in his weakened condition. Waking up one morning with a severe headache, he made some coffee and took inventory of his supplies. Because he had stayed longer than planned, he was running low. Then he realized he had lost track of what day it was and knew he needed to pack up and head home. His headache told him to rest, but he couldn’t miss Hoss’ wedding or the damaged bonds between them would be shattered. Pushing hard, he managed to arrive home in one long day of travel. Hoss was at Regan’s house, but Joe was there to greet him.

“At least you didn’t skip out on Hoss’ wedding.”

“Hello to you too. I hope you had a pleasant week. Mine wasn’t.”

“You could have had help, but you didn’t want any. You had that wall up and nobody was getting in. So, suit yourself. Don’t expect me to like it though.” Joe stalked off leaving Adam stunned.

Coming outside, Ben had heard the last of the exchange between the two brothers. “Joe doesn’t know what to do about how Hoss is acting either. He’s frustrated. I’m sorry he felt he had to strike out at you because of it though.”

“What about you?”

“I want all my sons to get along.”

“The wedding is still on. I don’t know how we’re going to get past that.”‘

“Adam, can you please try?”

Although he agreed to his father’s request, Adam wasn’t at all confident that he would be able to muster the courage to congratulate his brother on his wedding to Regan. As it turned out, he didn’t have to do that.

 

Chapter 2

Wisely, Hoss and Regan had decided to be married on the Ponderosa. Logistics were more manageable on a wedding set up on such short notice, but it also meant that there would be far fewer people willing to drop in who might create trouble. Anyone making the long trip out to the Ponderosa was more likely to be a friend. That still meant there was a lot of work to be done decorating, cleaning, getting tables and seating arranged, and getting food ready. It was going to be a large picnic style dinner which simplified the dinner preparations, but everyone was still on edge with so much to do.

Trying mostly to stay out of the way by running errands, Adam, who was already exhausted by having to do so much riding, chose to use the carriage instead. His father noticed and asked if he felt all right.

“I’m fine. Just tired of riding. The carriage seat is a lot softer than a saddle.”

Worried a bit by Adam’s answer, Ben had no specific reason to be concerned, but kept an eye on his eldest. He might have noticed more except he was too busy going over the plans for the wedding ceremony with Hoss and Regan, directing hands who were placing decorations and setting up tables, and in keeping Joe in check so there wouldn’t be too many surprises.

When Hoss nixed Joe’s plans for fireworks, Joe had to try to come up with something else that would be a fitting topper for the wedding. Ben suggested a champagne toast would be the best with the brothers making toasts as the guests were served the bubbly drink and given wedding cake. It was lowkey but when Regan endorsed it, Joe accepted it as the plan. Adam was told what he had to do when he returned with more cut boughs for decoration. It meant one more trip as he had to go to town to buy more champagne so it could be chilled. Done with his other duties, Joe jumped in the carriage to go with him. As they drove, Joe opened the conversation Adam didn’t want to have.

“I’m sorry for what I said when you got home. You’ve been a big help today.”

“I’m doing what I can.”

The flat tone of voice though said more than the words did and made Joe want to say more. “You’re still against Hoss marrying Regan?”

“I’m not against it. I don’t know how I feel about it anymore. It’s up to Hoss. He’ll be the one hurt if it doesn’t go well.”

“How can you be so sure he’ll be hurt? Maybe he’ll be happy. You’re the one hurting him now. Why can’t you at least act like you’re happy for him and show that you’re sorry for what happened? At least let him enjoy his wedding day and not be worried about you.”

“He’s not worried about me.” Even to his own ears, he knew it sounded petulant.

“You’re ridiculous sometimes. Of course, he’s worried about you. It’s been on his mind ever since the night of the party. He doesn’t know what to do about it. If you would show him that it’s all right to let it go and all is forgiven, he could enjoy his wedding day a whole lot more.”

For a short time, Adam was quiet. When he spoke, Joe had to smile. “What can I do to show him it’s all right?”

“I’ll think of something by the time we get home. In the meantime, you sit back and relax. You look awful. Working by yourself for a week and a half didn’t do you any good. Maybe it was eating your own cooking. You look thinner too, maybe.”

Uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going, Adam pointed down the road. “Just drive. I need a nap.” With that, he leaned back, pulled his hat down over his eyes, and did just that.

Not sure how to react at Adam actually accepting his orders, Joe did as he was told. In town, Adam seemed fine and loaded the carriage with the four cases of champagne as Joe flirted with the daughter of the owner. After Adam added a few bottles of brandy to the order, Joe had to ask.

“They’re for Hoss and Regan. I thought it might be nice for them to have them in their room. Something for them to have when they wish without having to ask Pa for his.”

“Yeah, that is kind of funny hearing big ole Hoss asking Pa if he can have a drink. It seems strange to have to ask, but we both do. You’re the only one who doesn’t ask. Why is that?”

“Because I don’t think I should have to ask. Why do you think you should?”

“I don’t know. Just seems weird to drink Pa’s brandy without asking. I know when I see you pour one and he’s looking, I always wonder if he’s going to say something, but he never does.”

“I suppose Pa thinks the look is going to bother me. It doesn’t.”

“Except you notice.”

“Of course, I notice, Joe. It’s rather hard not to notice when he sits there staring down at you like some great eagle on a perch about to pounce on its intended prey.”

“At least that pointy finger never comes out.”

“Just the big brushy eyebrows coming down together like an avalanche.”

“And the furrows in his forehead.”

“You got it, Joe. The look! It never changes.”

By the time the two brothers arrived at home, they had been talking and reminiscing for almost two hours driving carefully with the champagne in the back. Joe saw Hoss on the porch and whispered to Adam before he climbed from the carriage and hurried to the barn. Adam moved the carriage closer to the house. In the barn, Ben was about to head to the house to help Adam when Joe got there and grabbed his arm.

“No, wait. Let Adam get Hoss to help.”

Quickly understanding what Joe wanted to happen, Ben waited and watched with his youngest from the shadows of the barn. They listened as Adam called to Hoss to come help him.

“You got time to help me get this champagne into the cellar. We want it chilled for the guests for when we do the toasts, don’t we?”

With a big grin, Hoss moved quickly to help. He grabbed a case following Adam to the cellar. When the two got back, they each grabbed another case and took those down too. On their return, Hoss asked what was in the small box left in the carriage.

“It’s two bottles of good brandy.”

“For Pa’s stock?”

“No, for you and Regan to have in your room. You’ll have your own then if you want to relax with a drink anytime. Now that you’re going to be married, there may be times, you would like to spend time with just the two of you talking or whatever.”

Grinning at the last part, Adam put his hand on Hoss’ shoulder. Hoss dropped his head and blushed a little as he realized his whole family was going to know what he was doing in his room at night.

“C’mon, Hoss, it’s not like it’s your first time.”

“It is with my Pa down the hall. It’s gonna seem real strange, Adam, having a woman in my room here.”

“Having a woman in this house that’s been only men for so long is going to be strange for everyone, Hoss. But, first, you have a wedding to worry about. So, here’s your brandy, and I have to take care of this carriage.”

“I’d do that for ya, but I got a list of other things to do.”

“It’s all right. Joe’s around here somewhere. He can help.”

When Adam got to the barn, both his father and Joe were smiling. They thought all was well. Adam thought his friend Edwin Booth might have thought that was an excellent performance he had put on. He had fooled everyone except himself. At least, there was peace in the family now. The wedding could proceed normally.

Inside the house, Hoss presented the bottles of brandy to Regan and told her what Adam had said. She was surprised, but happy for Hoss who took them up to his room that was soon to be theirs. Already, there were changes in the room with an extra bureau and armoire that were empty awaiting Regan’s clothing, and a dressing table for her. Stacked in a corner was new bedding that matched the new curtains that were already hanging. New rugs were rolled up against the wall too. All of that would be in place before the couple had their honeymoon night. Ben had mentioned that he had arranged for a few surprises to be added to the room too.

Downstairs, Regan and Amelia were setting out vases that would hold flowers on the wedding day and decorating tables that would hold trays of chocolates. Amelia was designated as the indoor hostess the day of the wedding, and it was assumed many of the women might choose to spend time indoors out of the sun. Ben was the outdoor host where there would be his famous punch and activities men most likely would like. In the latter part of the afternoon, the dance would be for all and then there would be a dinner, toasts, and the cake before everyone left to get home before dark. It was the plan that Hoss and Regan had worked out with input from Ben and Joe. Amelia would have liked a more formal wedding, but on such short notice, that was impossible anyway. As it was, Amelia was having a difficult time believing this was actually happening. After what had happened between Adam and Regan, she had never expected this wedding to proceed. She had thought Adam would stop his brother from marrying Regan, but he was letting it happen, and she had no idea why. At some point, she hoped to have a chance to talk with him. It wasn’t that she wanted to stop the wedding, but it was always good to understand those with whom you worked, and she did still hope to have some business dealings with Adam and his father.

However, it was Regan who sought out Adam to talk to him about the wedding, and got the information that Amelia wanted but was likely never to know. Regan thanked Adam for the brandy telling him how thoughtful that gesture was but then went a step further thanking him for letting Hoss know it was all right for him to marry her. She said they both appreciated that very much. When Adam turned away without responding she knew it was all an act.

“You never meant it though, did you? Then why do it?”

“I did what everyone wanted. Can’t you leave it at that? You get to marry Hoss, and I won’t make any kind of trouble for you. Isn’t that enough?”

“No, because you’ll always be here just waiting to bring me down. You know how much that will hurt your brother.”

“I will never do anything to hurt him.”

“You already did.”

There was no denying that so he didn’t even try. “I made a mistake. I won’t do anything like that again.”

“What? You’ll be even more devious the next time? Do I have to watch my back the whole time? What will you do or say? What kind of plan do you have?”

“I have no plans. I told you I won’t make any kind of trouble for you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Listen, I do hope you can change. I hope you and Hoss can be happy.”

“But you don’t believe it.”

“Why does it matter what I believe?”

“Oh, you’re impossible.” With that, Regan walked back to the house to find Amelia so they could leave. Instead she saw Hoss first who could tell she was upset. He saw the direction from which she had come and asked whom she had seen.

“I was talking with Adam. I thanked him for the brandy and for letting us know it was all right for us to marry.”

“It ain’t none of his business who I marry and he ain’t got no say in the matter.”

“Well, oh, Hoss, I just want to go home and rest. We have such a big day coming up. Amelia should be out here soon. Can you wait with me until she’s here?”

After a few minutes, Amelia was there and Hoss helped her into the carriage. She could see that Regan was a bit upset but knew too she would only tell her if she was in a mood to do so. She wasn’t. After they rode away, Hoss went in search of Adam finding him leaning on a fence not far from where Regan had talked to him.

“You couldn’t leave her alone, could you?”

“Hoss, she came to talk to me. I was staying as far away from her as I could.”

“Listen, it ain’t up to you who I marry.”

“I know.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“I know. I haven’t said anything more since the party.”

“You ain’t got a right to tell me what to do. You don’t know much about romancing a woman anyhow.”

That got Adam’s attention. He wondered where Hoss was going with that line of thought. “What?”

“Oh, yeah, you get them at first with your flowery words and your looks and your dimple and smile and such, but then what? I saw how you was with a lot of ’em and especially with Laura. You don’t come back to ’em with a smile that says they’re the person you most want to see on earth. Naw, you’re more than likely to criticize something or make a complaint first thing when you see ’em. You like to tell a gal what to do too and right in front of others. You don’t ask ’em real nice like what they’d want. You tell ’em what you got planned like any of ’em would of course like to do what you want to do. You ever wonder why you can get ’em but you can’t keep ’em? Well maybe ’cause you don’t know how to treat a woman. That’s right. I do. That’s why I want you to stay away from Regan. I know how to treat her right, and you sure as hell don’t.”

Not trusting his temper, Hoss stalked away then not allowing Adam a response even if he had known how to respond. Never having heard such things from anyone, he was thinking about them and shocked to his core. Ben had heard Hoss speak to Regan and had followed him when he sought out Adam because he was worried about what might happen. Hearing those words spewing forth from Hoss, he had been nearly as shocked as Adam not by the content but by the delivery. Cautiously, he approached his eldest son.

“Adam, I’m sure Hoss is going to be mortified later by what he said.”

Dropping his head and rubbing his neck, Adam didn’t respond at first. He was sorry his father had heard, but then he wondered what his father thought. “Pa, was he right? Is that what people think? Is that what you think too?”

“I think Hoss was extreme in what he said. He wasn’t giving you any credit for anything good because he wanted to strike out at you.”

“But you’re not completely disagreeing with him either. I can’t maintain a relationship with a woman because of me? I’m the one who fails every time?”

“Adam, it’s not failing. You’ve been hurt a lot in your life. You’ve put up walls. It’s hard for anyone to break through those walls and get close to you.”

“Well, at least you’ve got a kinder way of telling me.”

“Adam, son, I’m not being critical. I understand. Come on in the house. It’s time for dinner.”

“I’m not hungry, and I’ve got a bit of a headache. I think I want to sit out here for a while.”

Knowing there was no point in trying to convince him to come in, Ben simply said he would ask Hop Sing to put a plate in the warmer. He walked to the house looking back once to see his son lean and drop his head. Inside, Hoss seemed to be in about the same condition.

“Pa, I was right nasty to Adam outside. I oughta go out there and tell him how sorry I am. I was all upset about Regan being upset and I said some ugly things that I shouldna said. I was way outta line.”

“Hoss, I think it might be best if you and Adam keep some distance between you for now. You seem to be having trouble talking lately. I know you’re concerned about Regan, but she sought out Adam. He only answered her questions.”

“Then why was she so upset?”

“I think you know. She wants to make him think a certain way, and that isn’t going to happen. He’ll think his way no matter what. We know that. She’s going to have to accept it too. As part of this family, she’ll need to know that we respect each other and the right of each one of us to be different or to choose our own path if need be.”

“I’ll talk with her, Pa. I’ll git her to understand that the only thing that’s important is that the two of us agree on things. It don’t matter if the rest of the family thinks different on things.”

“That’s right. Now let’s sit down to dinner before we get any more members of the household upset.”

It was late before Adam came in the house. He didn’t explain that he had fallen asleep on the bench in the garden but simply said he was going to bed. The others watched him go up the stairs, and it was Joe who spoke saying he didn’t look too good. Ben and Hoss guessed it was the emotional impact of what had happened earlier and didn’t want to discuss it. Joe looked at them wondering at their silence but decided to go to bed too. A short time later, Ben and Hoss followed him up the stairs. Soon it was quiet in the house, but there was no one sleeping as all four worried about the others and about the wedding.

 

Chapter 3

The next morning, Hoss and Adam did their best to act as if there had not been an altercation the night before. Adam had spent much of the night going back and forth between two thoughts. One was that Hoss, his father, and others were correct and he was too hard, too brittle in his dealings with others. When he thought that way, he made himself the cause of all his failed relationships and lack of friends. Then he looked at the other position and thought others took advantage of him and his willingness to sacrifice himself for their needs and do what had to be done even at the cost of his own happiness and fulfillment. Neither way of thinking painted the picture of a life worth living and made him think he ought to consider making some major changes. The headache and general aches he had were making it hard to do much of any kind of rational thinking by morning. Attributing it all to the stress of watching Hoss prepare to marry Regan, he didn’t even consider other possibilities.

So busy thinking about all that had to happen to make the wedding the kind that would make Regan happy, Hoss thought all was well when Adam seemed to be in good spirits about things or at least congenial enough. When Regan and Amelia arrived, all negative thoughts disappeared and all he could do was think about the wedding. Joe spent a couple of hours with him then helping him practice all he had to do that day. First was the ceremony and what he had to do to get married.

“Now, don’t forget the kiss, Hoss. That is the most important part for a lot of the guests. They want to see that kiss.”

“They do?”

“Of course, they do. The ladies love a romance, so they want to see the kiss. It’s the most romantic part. You kiss her like you mean it. Right?”

“Right! Joe, what does it mean to kiss her like I mean it? ‘Cause I got to tell ya, I do mean it every time I kiss her. I really do.”

“Oh, right, well, kiss her like that.”

“I can’t kiss her like that in front of people.”

“Why? What do you do?” Joe saw how Hoss was almost blushing. “Oh, well, I guess you can’t. Well, kiss her with some enthusiasm. That’s what I meant.”

“Now don’t take your younger brother’s advice too seriously, son. Follow your heart and do what seems natural. It’s your best guide on days like today.” Ben had come into the room to hear some of the advice Joe was offering. “Joe, we have guests arriving. As best man, aren’t you supposed to be greeting them downstairs?”

“Uh, yeah, right, I’ll get right to that.”

Smiling, Ben watched as Joe rushed from the room and Hoss watched the door for a time. When Hoss continued to glance at the door, Ben assured him that Joe wasn’t coming back.

“Oh, it’s not that. I jest thought maybe Adam might stop by before the wedding. That’s all.”

“Adam is already outside directing guests as to where to park their carriages and where to bring baskets of food or where to put gifts. Remember, that’s the job you wanted him to have.”

“Yeah, I remember. Guess I never thought about how that meant I wouldn’t see him before the wedding.”

“I’m sure he’s thinking about you. Now, how are you doing? Joe didn’t make you too nervous, did he?”

“He just wants to make sure I do everything right so I don’t embarrass myself.”

“Hoss, you will do fine. Our minister has dealt with many nervous bridegrooms before and knows exactly what to do. You listen to him and follow his instructions. He’ll get you through this just fine. Joe has the ring, and if there’s any mishap, I put this extra ring in my pocket.”

“Pa, is that Ma’s ring?”

“It is, and one way or another, after today, I want you to have it. You can have Regan wear it as a ring or perhaps on a chain as a necklace, or however you wish to do it. It’s an important tie to your past, and I want you to be able to have it near you in your future.”

“Thank you, Pa. That’s the best thing you coulda done for me. I was gonna ask you if you thought I was doing the right thing, but you already told me. You trust me. That’s the best wedding present you could ever give me.”

“Your happiness is all I want. I hope that you and Regan can have a wonderful life together. I will pray that all goes well and that your future is full of children and good times.”

“Pa, it will be. It’s what we both want.” Hoss looked down and muttered the next line though. “I wish everyone was thinking those kind of thoughts.”

“Hoss, try not to feel that way. Adam has said nothing against Regan or against your wedding since the party. He feels terrible about what’s happened to the relationship you two once had. Maybe you could forgive and forget?”

“I suppose I could try. He did buy us those two real nice bottles of brandy for our room. I guess he is trying. He went to town and brought the champagne back too and helped with all the decorating. I was so upset with him and looking for reasons to be mad, maybe I never took the time to see that he was doing what he could to show me he was on my side at last.”

“You see. It wasn’t so hard. Now you’re smiling instead of frowning. We’ll get your tie all set and go downstairs and get ready for you to be married and start your new life.”

“Dadburnit, Pa, that does sound plumb wonderful, don’t it?”

Although Ben nodded and smiled, his heart and mind were in turmoil not sure at all that Hoss was making the right decision. He was a man though who had the right to choose the woman he wanted. Ben had given his advice and Hoss had chosen to set it aside and go his own way. That was his right, but Ben hoped Adam’s fears were never going to be realized. With his smile firmly fixed, he helped Hoss with his tie and walked beside him as he went down to greet his guests and prepare for the wedding ceremony.

When everyone was in place, Ben looked for Adam and saw him standing in back with Doctor Martin and Sheriff Coffee. Although surprised Adam didn’t sit with him, he wasn’t too dismayed as his son stood with the two closest family friends. Ben saw Hoss look around for him too and relax when he saw him standing with Paul and Roy. When Regan walked into the room, Hoss had no eyes for anyone but her. Honestly, no man in the room probably looked anywhere else as Regan was stunning in a green dress with ivory trim. She walked to Hoss and took his arm turning to face the minister for the ceremony. A half hour later, he pronounced them as man and wife and told Hoss to kiss the bride. He did so but with a far more chaste kiss than Joe had advised him. Then it was time for the receiving line and then the festivities began in a whirlwind of activity that went on for the next several hours. As the dance was about to begin, Ben stood at the edge of the porch with Roy and Paul who were pleased to see the middle son of their good friend married and clearly so happy.

“Ben, after what happened with her and Adam, I never thought this day would come. I thought Hoss would be too upset about it.”

“Roy, it was only a kiss. Nothing more. Hoss was angry after he saw them, but it has all been worked out.”

Paul was concerned because Ben had insisted he take a look at Adam the night of the party after Hoss had hit Adam a number of times. “That’s good because after those bruises I saw on Adam, I wouldn’t want Hoss to have another go at him. He could do some terrible damage to his brother. When you said Adam left for over a week, I was worried.”

“I think he was uncomfortable, but he seems fine now.”

“He does seem thin. Has he been eating and sleeping normally?”

“Paul, relax. Adam is fine. It’s a wedding. It’s time to have some fun. How about finding a lady and dancing a bit?”

“I guess you’re right. I do tend to worry too much.”

There were two things wrong though. One was that Adam wasn’t feeling well but hiding it. The other was that one of the hands had overheard the conversation and was busy reporting it to others. Many of them got upset at hearing that news for the first time. Liberally dosed with spiked punch by this time, some got together and went in search of Adam to confront him over what they had heard. They found him in the barn sitting on a bench.

“You kissed Hoss’ gal!”

“It’s none of your business.”

There was no opportunity to say anything more. It was about all the hands were going to take at that point. They left him in the dirt in the barn certain they had taught him the lesson he needed to learn. Pulling himself back up on the bench, Adam rubbed his hand across his face to wipe away some of the blood from his bleeding nose. Much of it still dripped on his shirt. Ben and Joe found him there two hours later when it was time to make the wedding toasts and he was nowhere around.

“Fighting on your brother’s wedding day! I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. You stay here. Joe will have to make the toasts. I’ll have someone help you to the house later.”

Joe said nothing but his look communicated enough. After they turned and left, Adam staggered to a stall and retched into the straw bedding before managing to get to the tack room, closed that door, and collapsed on the small cot there. When some hands were sent to help him to the house much later, they didn’t see him and reported back to Ben that they couldn’t find him. Frustrated, but more concerned that Hoss’ wedding night not be ruined, Ben assumed Adam must have found a way to town with guests who were leaving. He wished Hoss and Regan well and left with Joe. The plan was that Hoss and Regan would have the house to themselves until dinner the following evening.

With a pledge not to talk about anything unpleasant or negative, Hoss and Regan enjoyed the benefits of marriage and then slept well. In the morning, they once again shared the bed for a few hours after they had a breakfast of all the special treats Hop Sing had left for them.

“I wonder what’s in that basket he’s got there for lunch.”

“Hoss, we only had breakfast.”

“I know, but I got big appetites.”

“Oh, after last night, I know that.”

Regan had to smile. One benefit of being married to Hoss was that she was going to enjoy the marital bed. Hoss was a man who enjoyed lovemaking and made no secret of it. She did wonder how they were going to manage when the rest of the family was there, and Hoss must have seen the look on her face.

“I kin be quieter when I gotta be. Last night, there was no reason to be quiet.”

“Good. I enjoyed knowing how pleased you were with me. It was refreshing to have a man who is so open and honest about everything.”

“You kin always count on me for that, Regan. I won’t never hide nothing from you. We’re in this together, and I’ll always be here whenever you need me or want me.”

“How about if I want you right now? Are you ready?”

“Another thing you gotta know. I’m always gonna be ready.”

Picking her up, Hoss carried Regan to their bedroom and kissed her deeply before setting her gently on the bed and joining her there. It was time for lunch before they finished that session.

Outside, some hands found Adam trying to saddle Sport. Not wanting to disturb the newlyweds and realizing that Adam needed help, they hitched up a wagon and put him in the back to drive him to town. Two hours later, they found Ben and Joe at the hotel to tell them as they were about to begin their trip back to the house.

“You found him in the barn?”

“Yeah, if we’d known he was sick, we would never have thumped him last night.”

“Thumped him?”

“Well, we’d been drinking that punch, of course, and then we heard that he had kissed Miss Regan, and we got upset about that. We went to see him and ended up, you know, hitting him a few times. He didn’t fight back or nothing. We’re all real sorry we done it. Now it seems he’s sick and probably was last night. I guess that’s why he was in the barn to begin with.”

“That’s why he wasn’t in town. We had no idea where he was. He’s at Doctor Martin’s now?”

“Yeah, Doc Martin says he’s real sick, and you and Joe oughta stop in there.”

At Doctor Martin’s office, Ben and Joe had to wait, and then they didn’t like what they heard. Ben especially was upset, but Paul wouldn’t budge.

“Ben, he doesn’t want to see any of you right now, and what I want for him is complete rest and as much sleep as he can get. If you go in there, you’re going to upset him and interfere with his recovery which is in doubt as it is.”

“Doubt?”

“Ben, Adam is very ill. I suspect he had some damage from a few weeks ago and developed an infection somewhere along the way. I can tell he hasn’t been eating well. He’s lost weight. I doubt he’s been sleeping as much as he should have been. He’s exhausted, and he’s running a high fever. The bad news is that his kidneys are involved.”

“But he will recover?”

“I hope so, but Ben, no one lives without kidneys. If they don’t recover from this, Adam won’t recover. He’s a strong man, but he has a lot to fight right now. Don’t do anything to make it harder for him.”

“Why didn’t he tell us he was sick?”

“He probably didn’t realize it until last night. An infection like this can build up gradually, and a person has no idea that they’re fighting something serious until it gets so bad they can’t hardly walk. The men said they found him trying to saddle his horse. He said he slept on a cot in the barn. He probably went to the closest thing he could reach when he realized he was in trouble.”

“What will you do for him?”

“Honestly, there’s not a lot I can do, but I’m going to help him do all he can do for himself. Hopefully we have got it in time for him to have a chance to fight it off himself. If it gets to his blood, he won’t be able to do that.”

Reluctantly, Ben complied even if every instinct was to stay. At dinner, he told Hoss that Adam wasn’t feeling well and had decided to stay in town. He and Joe had conferred and thought it best to wait until the next morning before informing Hoss and Regan of the gravity of the situation. There was nothing that could be done anyway until then. The whole family would go to town together the next morning hopefully to some better news. It wasn’t. They had to wait a couple of days before Doctor Martin was willing to give them guarded but more positive answers to their questions. They did get to visit briefly with Adam and tell him that they all wished him well and wanted to see him back on the Ponderosa as soon as possible. Even Regan made that request solemnly. She had no animosity toward Adam now that she was married and especially with him in such dire straits. By the end of the week, Paul was more encouraging.

“He’s drinking more without being forced to do so, and without being too indelicate, the output is more normal. If all goes well for another day, he will get to eat something more solid than broth and thin soups too. His headaches seem to be less severe and the fever is diminishing. I’d say that he’s passed the threshold. It will be a week before I can be sure though. He needs to stay here where I can monitor him carefully.” Paul had seen that hopeful look on Ben’s face and knew he wanted to take his son home, but it was too soon.

“So, it will be another week before he can come home?”

“At least a week, Ben.”

Over a week later, Adam came home. It was a different home than he had left. Regan had added a feminine touch that hadn’t been there before the wedding, and some things had been rearranged. There was a new chair near the fireplace with a sewing basket beside it. The blue chair had been pushed back toward the rifle rack. When Adam saw it, it seemed appropriate. Hoss saw him looking at the new arrangement.

“I can move your chair back. It’s just that you were gone, and it gets chilly sometimes so I put Regan’s chair closer to the fireplace.”

“No, it’s not my chair really, and it’s fine where it is. Everything looks fine.”

Hoss and Regan grinned happy that their rearranging had gone so well, but both Ben and Joe knew what ‘fine’ meant. Adam was hurt but accepted that it was the way things were going to be from now on. Hoss had moved him out of the way, and Regan had taken that spot in Hoss’ heart.

Ben began to worry too. For some time, Adam had hinted at leaving, but there had been a few things holding him there. One was that Joe was young and needed him yet. That wasn’t true any longer. Joe was maturing and could do what needed to be done. Another thing was that Adam was so close to Hoss and had promised Inger to always be there for his brother. Now there was no need for that either. Regan was there. Adam had been his father’s partner building the Ponderosa, but now it was built. Ben worried that there was no longer anything that bound his eldest son to the family and to the Ponderosa. He was correct.

As Adam sat on the porch with a blanket around his shoulders and another across his legs and drew up house plans for Hoss and Regan, Ben stood at the corner and watched him. With profound sadness in his heart, he knew it was probably the last thing his firstborn would do before he left. Adam was finishing up on promises he had made. He presented the plans to the couple a few weeks later, pronounced that he was in good health again, and said he had an announcement to make.

The only one shocked by the announcement that Adam planned to leave was Hoss. He had thought that all was forgiven and going well. Even when Adam tried to explain, he wanted to argue that he ought to stay.

“I’m gonna be a father, Adam. That’s right. We’re gonna have a baby. I wanted you to be here for that. How can you miss that?”

“Hoss, I’ll probably miss a lot of things, but I need to go. There are other things I’m missing too by staying here.”

“How soon you planning on going?”

“As soon as I can make arrangements. There should be room on the stage on Sunday. I’ll go then if there is.”

“That’s only a few days.”

“There’s no reason to drag this out. It will only make it harder. I’ll write, and I’ll come back to visit if that can be worked out.”

“What do you mean ‘if’ that can be worked out. Where you planning on going that you might not be able to even visit?”

“I was thinking of possibly going to Europe for a time or elsewhere.”

“Adam, you’re going to be all alone.”

“It won’t be so different than here from what I’ve been told.”

“What?” Hoss frowned and then remembered. “I’m sorry about them things I said. You know I was mad when I said them ugly things.”

“Yes, but maybe that’s what it took for the truth to come out. Pa said almost the same to me, and he wasn’t mad.”

“What?”

“He said I put up walls and don’t let anyone get close. When the hands came to teach me a lesson in the barn, they sent me more than the lesson they intended. I don’t think they would have done that to you or Joe. But to me, they thought they could. We weren’t friends. They respected me, and when the respect was gone, we had nothing left. Maybe I need to make some changes not only in my life but in me, and I don’t think I can do it while I stay here.”

“Adam, you’re a good person. You don’t have to change. If that’s why you’re leaving, don’t leave. Stay here.”

“Hoss, I know what I need to do and what I want to do, and I can’t do either of them here. I have to go. I’d like to go with your blessing, but I’m going either way. I wish you the best with your family, and I will be back someday to celebrate with you.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a promise.”

“I’m holding you to it. You better come back, or I’m gonna hunt you down, and you know there ain’t no better at tracking somebody down than me.”

“I know. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Hoss looked off to the distance. “It’s gonna be a long time, ain’t it?”

Spoken softly but with conviction, Adam gave the only answer there was to such a query. “Yes.”

On Sunday, Adam wished Regan well and hugged Hoss. He shook his father’s hand and gave him a brief hug that lasted longer when Ben didn’t want to let go. Then he walked outside to where Joe had said he would have his horse ready to find Joe had both Cooch and Sport saddled.

“Someone has to bring your horse back home.”

“Thank you, Joe.”

There wasn’t much talk on the ride to town. As they waited for the stage, Joe asked a few more questions about Ponderosa business dealings and men with whom they had to negotiate. Adam did his best to share everything he hadn’t already told his younger brother and written in copious notes he had left. Finally, there was no more business to discuss.

“I wish you weren’t going.”

“In some ways, I wish I wasn’t either, but it’s the best thing for all of us. I need to go.”

“I think I understand, but you better come home when you can. Write too.”

“I will. I promised Pa I would write. You have to know though that some places I may go, there might not be good mail service. Don’t worry too much if you don’t hear from me all the time.”

“How can we help but worry?”

“I’m sorry for that. I wish there was a way around that.”

“How will we get in touch with you if we need you?”

“That will be more difficult. I guess the best way would be to contact my bank. I would have the most constant contact with them of anyone. I’ll set something up with them as soon as possible.”

“Adam, I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Joe. Take care. I know you’ll do everything that needs doing.”

With that, Adam was on the stage and it pulled away. For Joe, it was a long ride home leading Sport. Joe decided he would ride that horse when he wasn’t riding Cooch. Not many on the ranch would ride the temperamental horse, but he never had a problem with him. Maybe because he and his oldest brother were alike in many ways, and the horse knew that. When he got home, he had to tell his father and Hoss about the farewell. It was the last direct contact they would have with Adam for years.

 

Chapter 4

There were too many things to do on the Ponderosa for the Cartwrights to dwell on the one who left. Joe had so much work to do at first that he felt overwhelmed. The only solution he could see was to put some pressure on his father to hire the foreman that the sons had suggested as an option for years. There were no likely candidates though so that was postponed even if Joe realized the answer had changed.

“Hoss, did you hear what Pa said when I gave him all my reasons for hiring a foreman?”

“Yeah, he said no again, Joe.”

“He said no again, but this time he said it different.”

“I don’t know, but n-o spells no, no matter how you look k at it or hear it.”

“He said we don’t have anyone who would make a good foreman right now. That means he said no because we don’t have anyone who would be good for the job not that he didn’t want anyone to have the job.”

“Huh? Oh, I get it. He’s saying it won’t work right now not that it’s a bad idea.”

“Exactly! So, what we have to do is keep on the lookout for somebody who’d make a good foreman.”

“Right!” After a pause, Hoss had a question that seemed rather significant to him. “Uh, Joe, what makes a good foreman as far as Pa is concerned?”

“Probably somebody who can get the respect of the men, knows about cattle and horses especially about cattle drives and things like that, and can give orders and get things done.”

“So, we just need another one of us.”

“Big brother, I guess that’s about it.”

“Seems like most men like that got their own ranches or businesses or they’re in the Army or something like that.”

“Not all of them. Some have got to wander and try out new things.” Both of them thought not only of Adam but of Will and Clay too. “We’ll have to look sharp and we’ll find one.”

Hoss had to leave then because he was supervising the building of his house. In the morning, he stopped by the site before he headed out to work for the day. He rode there at midday again when he could, and finished his day by stopping by to see what progress had been made. At first, Regan had complained a bit because of how little she saw him except on Sundays, but after a trip to the building site to see how fast the project was going and she smiled.

“Hoss, I had no idea you could make a house go up so fast, and it’s beautiful.”

There was no mention of who designed the house even if both knew it. In fact, there seemed to be a distinct effort by all members of the family not to mention Adam’s name most of the time. Usually Ben was the only one to bring him up in conversation and often to complain because there were no letters arriving until finally one did come. They came fairly regularly at first, but when he said he was going to Europe, there was a lull. A few came after that and then there were none.

In town, Ben was asked by a number of people if he had heard from Adam. He regaled them with details from the first letters and then the few from Europe. However eventually he had to say that he hadn’t heard anything new lately. After a while, people stopped asking. Only Roy and Paul knew how worried the family was about the missing eldest son, but there was nothing anyone could do. They had no way of knowing where Adam had been when he last sent a letter, and all queries to his bank came back with no information.

One of the young assistant managers at the bank, Cole Washington, was a partner with Adam in a small timber operation in California. He had been one who asked frequently early on about Adam’s whereabouts saying he needed to communicate with him about their mutual investment, but eventually he didn’t ask at all. Ben assumed he must have resolved the issues somehow without hearing from Adam. Ben asked him often if he had any information about Adam but always got the same response.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but you are his father. We sent some large sums of money to a New York bank early on when Adam was first traveling, but there’s been nothing lately. Frankly, we’re all worried at the lack of correspondence. I’m sorry to say, but you must know after inactivity in an account for years, the person is presumed, well, you know.”

And Ben would tell him not to say any more as that was not true. Adam had told them he would travel to areas where mail delivery was not reliable.

“We’ll hear from him. Just give him time.”

That worked for the first months, but it got worse. When Hoss and Regan had their baby, Ben wanted so much to send news to Adam but couldn’t. He had sent that letter that he was heading to Europe. Meanwhile, of course, there was his first grandchild. Hoss was hilarious in some regards as the expectant father.

“Pa, Regan says the baby is coming. What do I do?”

“First of all, you need to get dressed. You aren’t going to be able to much of anything running around in your long underwear. Next, you will go tell Hop Sing if he hasn’t already heard you yelling. Then go alert one of the hands to ride to the midwife’s home and let her know we need her now. You should probably send another to Amelia’s home to let her know as well.”

“All right, I should get dressed. Then what was I supposed to do?”

“Go get dressed and sit with Regan. Joe and I will take care of things.”

“All right, Pa. You get dressed. Who’s gonna tell Hop Sing?”

Taking Hoss by the arm, Ben led him back to the room he shared with Regan. Opening the door slightly, he pushed him enough to get him to move into the room. Once he had Hoss going forward, he explained things hoping that Regan would hear.

“Joe and I will take care of notifying everyone who needs to know. We’ll get the midwife here and Amelia too. You take care of Regan. Do whatever she asks you to do. Is that clear?”

“Shur, Pa. I’ll do whatever Regan wants.”

It was the most mellow Ben had seen Hoss in months. His middle son had been too close to erupting in a jealous rage over men staring at his wife especially as her breasts grew larger because she was with child. Regan had always been proud of her appearance, and as her belly expanded and her hips and thighs packed on a few extra pounds too, she seemed to compensate by drawing attention to her chest. Of course, that wasn’t difficult to do but the low necklines and jewelry she wore whenever they went to town even for church services on Sunday caused a lot of men to stare rather openly at that cleavage. It had taken some talking from Ben and Joe and from a new hand named Candy to calm Hoss down. In fact, it was probably Candy who had the greatest impact. Joe had related that conversation to his father who was impressed with the qualities it revealed in their new hire.

“You mean you admit staring at my wife’s chest?”

“Of course, I do. I’d be lying if I didn’t. You think any man isn’t looking? Heck, a lot of women are probably looking. That’s a mighty fine view.”

“I should probably punch you for saying that.”

“Why? Don’t you like the truth? Aren’t you proud of being married to her?”

Somewhat confused, Hoss had paused before replying. “Of course, I am. Why would you say that?”

“Well, it seems to me you’re awful upset at men looking when they’re really showing you how jealous we all are of you.”

“Jealous of me?”

“Definitely. We get to look at the way her dress pokes out and all, but you get to see what’s underneath, and do, well, you know what you do. Not a one of us is lucky like that.”

Joe had been impressed. He had watched as Hoss puffed out his chest and adopted that smile of superiority. Candy had leaned back and grinned. His older brother had walked with a bit of a swagger after that thinking about how all the men on the ranch were jealous of him because he was married to such a beautiful and well-endowed woman. From that point on, Joe was no longer worried when they went to town. When men leered at Regan, Hoss took it as a compliment.

The funny thing was that Regan had been upset with the near fights Hoss had because of his jealousy. When he learned how to handle that part of their relationship though, she seemed disappointed. It was as if she had been waiting for the day that Hoss would fight because of her. It made Joe continue to worry about his brother and his marriage to Regan wondering if Adam had been correct in his prediction that she would hurt Hoss sooner or later.

The night that Lucas was born though was not one of those times. Both Joe and Ben were there to keep Hoss company once the midwife arrived to help Regan with the delivery. Doctor Paul Martin arrived the next day after the baby was born and checked out both the baby and Regan pronouncing both in good health. Ben had been worried because the baby was a few weeks early considering the date of the wedding, but Paul assured him the baby seemed fine despite that. The baby had blond wispy hair and light blue eyes too with skin so light it was almost translucent. The broad cheeks with the wide lips let everyone know who the father was. Regan was all smiles and Amelia looked relieved.

“Amelia, Regan is a bit older than most new mothers, but Paul assures us that she is in fine health as is the baby.”

“Ben, I’m happy the baby looks so much like Hoss. I’m sure you will be so happy to have a grandson to carry on the Cartwright line.”

A little surprised by how she had worded that, Ben accepted her statement and agreed he was quite happy to have a grandson. When Amelia wanted to talk business and investments, Ben put her off, but this time agreed that they should talk. He set a time for them to meet to discuss some possibly mutually beneficial investments. Amelia went home quite satisfied believing that her sister may have finally settled down and that the Cartwrights were willing to work with her. Amelia was more interested in being rich than anything else. She was disappointed that Adam had left because she had thought they could have made a formidable pair of business partners. However, she and Ben and perhaps Joe too could likely do quite well. Cole Washington always seemed to have good recommendations for investments. She decided she needed to talk to him before her meeting with Ben.

The meeting with Cole went well, and Amelia was all set when she met with Ben. However, Ben was distracted during the meeting when he spotted some of the papers that Cole had brought to the meeting. He was recommending they purchase shares in the spur line being built to Virginia City. Assuring them that the Virginia and Truckee Railroad was going to be immensely profitable, Cole thought he had them convinced until Ben spotted a list of investors.

“Adam invested in this? How could that be? He’s been gone nearly eight months now.”

Scrambling to explain, Cole thought he handled it well. “Adam gave instructions to his broker to do some investing in certain things while he was gone. This is one of them. I’m sure if you follow up with him you would find the appropriate paperwork there.”

Cole had worked long and hard at that paperwork, but he didn’t want Ben to look at it. He wasn’t sure it would pass muster with Adam’s father even if his broker had been fooled. Another meeting was scheduled, and when Ben and Amelia arrived at that one a week later, Ben was in a more agreeable mood. Cole relaxed hearing how Ben had received a letter from Adam and how well things were going. Ben mentioned that he was writing a letter to Adam and explaining how they were following his lead by investing in the same venture. Cole’s panic rose again because he had not anticipated that development. He knew he had to do more to protect himself, and while Ben was still sitting in his office, he began devising a scheme to prevent information passing from Ben to Adam or vice versa. It would have an additional positive outcome but it would take years to reap that benefit.

Some trips to the telegraph office and the postal station over the next week and Cole had his whole scheme in place. He felt quite proud of himself. Although he knew he exposed himself to greater risk by including two more people in his plot, he paid them well, offered yearly bonuses for a job well done, and most importantly, he dangled the carrot of a huge payoff at the end of five years if they were successful. He controlled communication between Adam and his family via the bank and now had control of any letters or telegrams between them. His position in the bank was secure when Ben and Amelia made significant profits from the spur line and deposited them in the bank earning him kudos and a promotion. He was going to be even more wealthy than the Cartwrights at the rate he was going, but what he didn’t have was a beautiful wife. That he envied, but so did most of the male population of Virginia City. They lusted after the Cartwright fortune, but even more after the gorgeous, voluptuous Regan even if they feared Hoss’ wrath if he knew.

However, the conversation with Candy had gotten through to Hoss where the advice from Ben and Joe hadn’t penetrated. Instead of being angry when men looked at his wife with desire, Hoss had learned to be proud of that. It irritated Regan no end. She had often complained of Hoss’ extreme jealousy, but when it was no longer there, she wanted him to be jealous. It had made her feel more beautiful to have her husband so insanely jealous. For him to smile at men who leered at her was infuriating.

“Are you going to let them do that?”

“Do what, darling?”

“Get angry at least. Say something. Do something. They’re staring at me!”

“I’d stare too ifn I was them. You got good things to stare at, dontcha?”

“Hoss, you’re being impossible!”

“Darling, I’m being honest. They’re looking ’cause there’s darn good reasons to look. I’d look too except I don’t have to look. I know what’s under that dress. Now, ignore ’em and let’s go on into church. Lucas is quiet now so hopefully we can get through most of the service without him caterwauling away.”

So, Regan walked into the church with Lucas in her arms and Hoss by her side. Ben and Joe came in behind them. The four sat in the front as the family always had. Watching them, most people thought Regan was a very lucky woman, but Regan didn’t feel so lucky any more. She missed her old exciting life especially now that her days seemed filled with the smells of wet and dirty diapers and baby spit-up on her dress.

When she and Hoss moved into their new house, she felt her life got worse. She had privacy again, and she could make decisions without worrying about what Ben would think. However, she had to cook and bake as well as clean while still caring for Lucas. It was exhausting. Instead of napping while her son did, she had to spend that time on essential chores leaving the rest for later unless Lucas slept longer and more deeply than his usual.

Hoss could tell that Regan was depressed. He talked to his father about it and the only advice Ben offered was to show more affection to her and pay her more attention. Ben thought too that she might be lonely and that a cook or housekeeper could be helpful not only to Regan but to Hoss and Lucas as well. So, Hoss took care of all of that. He hired a lady to come out to the ranch five days a week to help with the laundry and the cooking. At night and on weekends, he paid as much attention to Regan and to Lucas as he could. In bed, he tried to become the most generous lover he could be. It seemed to be working too as Regan’s mood improved.

At the main house, Ben too found he could use some help. He decided to hire Cole to come out a few days each month to help with the accounts and ledgers. There simply was too much for him to handle and be sure he got it right. Adam used to do what amounted to audits, but now Cole would do it.

The third member of the family also got it. As Candy got to know the men and the ranch, it was clear that they finally had the man who could do the job of foreman. He got along well with everyone, worked hard, was smart, and got any job done. Joe and Hoss proposed promoting him to foreman, and Ben could hardly say no without some good reasons. He had no objections so Joe got to tell Candy about his new job.

 

Chapter 5

The net result of all the attention that Hoss was paying to Regan was that she was with child within a year. Hoss was elated, and Regan was devastated though she hid it well. As per custom, they didn’t tell anyone, but both Ben and Amelia guessed the news within weeks. Both brought up the subject with their respective side of the pair. Amelia was the first to broach the subject with her sister.

“I never expected you to have a child with Hoss much less two.”

“How did you know?”

“I may not have had a child, but I’ve seen plenty who have including you. The signs are all there. Your face is getting fuller and so are a few other parts. I’m sure others will be noticing soon too if you insist on wearing those dresses that show off your assets so well. When are you going to stop trying to lure men to you? You have a husband who is one of the nicest and wealthiest men around. What more do you want?”

“Excitement! I want something more than diapers and a child tugging at my skirt constantly demanding my attention. I have no time to have fun.”

“What kind of fun do you have in mind then? Gambling? Drinking? Fornicating?”

If Amelia had been standing closer to her sister, she would have been slapped. Regan was angry enough but not necessarily by what her sister had said which was rude and blunt. No, it was that she had hit rather close to the truth. Regan did miss the attention of other men. She had always thought their pawing and leering was disgusting yet now wanted that as validation of her desirability. Hoss wasn’t even showing signs of jealousy any longer which upset her too as if he thought she wasn’t good enough to entice men to her not only to enjoy her charms but to buy her gifts and bring her flowers and chocolates. Hoss didn’t do much of that either. Oh, he made love to her on a regular basis and that was good, but there was no romance in it any longer, and she wanted that too. There was no fire either as Hoss gave in to her demands when she made them. She had tried to stoke the flames with him, but each time he had agreed to what she wanted. It was depressing to her. There was no one she could talk to about it who would understand either. Now she had months of being with child to endure again and painful labor at the end of it. She loved her son, but she didn’t know how to deal with all the rest of it.

“Amelia, you are so crude.”

“You didn’t tell me I was wrong.”

“There is no point to ever telling you that. You never accept it anyway.”

“How many children do you plan to have?”

“I didn’t plan on this one and I didn’t plan on Lucas, so there’s no answer to your question, is there.”

“Well, as long as it keeps you in good graces with Ben, I’m fine with it. He seems to love the idea of you having more grandchildren for him, and I love investing with him. That first investment is paying off tremendously well for us. I can’t wait to make our next one.”

“Amelia, what can you do with more money? All you do is stay in that house of yours.”

“And I buy nice things and live very well. I must say, my house is more luxurious than yours. Why doesn’t Hoss buy you some nicer things?”

That hit another sore point. She did want more luxury and that’s where that lack of gifts was a problem. He had a tendency to buy her small trinkets and little things like pretty little teapots or decanters when she wanted grand gifts. She wasn’t some dainty little wife who liked pretty little things, but he thought of her that way perhaps because he was so large. Nothing she said ever seemed to dissuade him of that opinion though.

“We have a very nice home. You can’t have so many nice things with a little one running about. He would only break things.”

Amelia knew a rationalization when she heard it. She simply accepted this one to turn the conversation in another direction. They talked of other things until enough time had passed that she could leave without seeming to be impolite.

More solicitous, Ben offered on many occasions to watch Lucas to give her a chance to rest. He would arrive in the carriage and take the toddler with him so she could have some peace and quiet, put her legs up, and take a nap. Those were nice days and she told him how much she appreciated his help with the little boy. Hoss worked so much that he couldn’t do that except on Sundays. Ben didn’t mind at all, and as Lucas got older, Ben took him with him to town when running errands as long as it didn’t involve business meetings. In fact, Ben was quite proud of his grandson and liked being seen with him.

It was on one of those trips to town, that Ben and Lucas saw a rainmaker and his son. Lucas was fascinated by the mop of red hair the boy had and pointed to him first. Ben was more intrigued by the rainmaker and reported back to the family all that he knew when they had dinner together that evening.

“It’s clear the father is quite ill. I doubt he will live much longer.”

“What will happen to his son then, Pa? He’ll be left all alone with no home.”

“Hoss, that happens a lot out here. I’m sure some family will take him in. He looks like he’s strong enough so there will be work for him.”

Six months later, that boy was back only this time with a friend as his father had died. He was plying the only trade he knew: rainmaking, but was having no success. People in town were fed up with it, and some of them, fueled by alcohol one night, stormed his camp, burned his wagon, and his father’s book of rainmaking. Jamie Hunter was left with nothing. When Ben found out, he asked where the boy was, but Roy said no one knew.

“Roy, after what happened to his camp, he could be hurt.”

“Or he could be in California by now. That friend of his is missing too. Now I can’t be sending out search parties every time a drifter ain’t here no more. I’d spend every day looking and never finding nobody.”

Although Ben had to concede that point to Roy, he was still concerned for the boy, and worried that he hadn’t had the resources to go anywhere. Surviving without resources in the Sierras was a daunting prospect too. After he voiced his concerns at home, Joe and Hoss went looking for Jamie Hunter. On Sunday, they found him on the Ponderosa when they spotted a small wisp of smoke in the morning. Hoss addressed him first when they rode into his small camp.

“Boy, you’re trespassing. Do you know that?”

“I’ll move on then. I didn’t mean to. I mean, there weren’t no signs that I saw.”

With some skepticism, Joe answered him. “There’s a big sign on the road.”

“I didn’t come by the road. Some people burned my wagon. I walked here through the trees so they wouldn’t get me too. When you came, I thought maybe you was them, but I’m so hungry, I didn’t have the energy to run.”

Hoss’ heart went out to the boy. “Climb up here. You’re coming with us.”

“You taking me to jail? I said I’d move on.”

“Nah, we’re taking you up to the house for some food. Then we’ll see what Pa has to say about you. If you’re willing to work, maybe he’ll have a job for you.”

“I only know how to do rainmaking.”

Joe grinned. “Do you know how to chop wood, shovel manure, dig ditches, and carry loads?”

“Well sure, everybody can do those things.”

“Then maybe we have work for you.” Joe grinned even more broadly thinking it would be nice not to have to do any of that at least for a while.

Not only agreeable to giving Jamie a job, Ben told his sons to put Jamie in a guest room. Joe offered some of his old clothing that no longer fit. Although Jamie wasn’t fond of the idea of wearing used clothing, it was far better than anything he had ever owned. Ben told him that once he worked for a time, he could get new clothing.

“I can’t remember the last time I got something new.”

“Then where did you get the clothing you have?”

“My Ma made stuff before she died. She made stacks of stuff. I been wearing that.”

“She made things for you years in advance?”

“No, Mister Cartwright, she made things for my Pa, and he wasn’t much bigger than me so I wore those. We shared what she had made, but there weren’t any more left, and now the wagon’s burned, so this is all I have left.”

“Well, now you have the extras from Joe, and eventually you’ll have new clothing. Tomorrow, you’ll meet the foreman. He, and our cook, Hop Sing, will have first claim on your work schedule. Do you know how to ride?”

“A little. I’m better with a wagon. I drove our wagon most of the time with Pa sleeping in the back. He told me to drive it so as not to wake him. I can handle a team pretty well.”

They all saw the tears well up in the boy’s eyes as he spoke. He had a tough life so far and now had lost both parents as well as the only life he had known. Their hearts opened to him. However, it seemed that the show of emotion made the boy want to lash out. It seemed he didn’t like letting them see his softer side.

“I’ll pay you back for everything though. I don’t take handouts. I’m no beggar.”

Ever the peacemaker, Hoss wanted to calm things down. “Whoa, there, little buddy. No reason to get your back up. Now, let’s have some dinner and we can talk about things. You can meet the rest of the family, and we’ll all get along better ifn there ain’t no more outbursts like that one.”

Adequately put in his place by that, Jamie meekly took his place at dinner. Lucas was still fascinated by his red hair and wanted to touch it. Regan told her son that it was rude to keep reaching for Jamie’s hair, but Jamie rather liked the attention and leaned down to let him touch it. Of course, he didn’t realize how a toddler might grab hold, and Hoss had to intervene to get the hair out of Lucas’ grasp.

“Luke, gentle, boy, gentle. Sorry, there, Jamie, but little boys like Luke don’t know their own strength.”

“He sure has a strong grip.”

“My son was like that at that age too, Jamie. Hoss took years to learn how to control that strength. Luke is going to need some guidance from those around him as he grows. He’s already big for his age and growing. It’s clear he will take after his father.”

If anyone had any doubts of the boy’s paternity, they were all laid to rest as Luke grew. His blond hair and blue eyes should have been proof enough, but he had his father’s build as well. Regan was relieved while the rest of the family was loath to admit it but were too. Hoss had felt a twinge of fear when Regan had first said she was with child, but like the others, that had disappeared. His greatest fear was that the child would have dark hair, hazel eyes, and a dimple. He knew he shouldn’t think like that because Adam had never lied to him, but his jealousy and insecurity could be unrelenting at times.

The next morning, as promised, Jamie had a list of chores assigned by Hop Sing and by Candy. It kept him busy all day, but he had a good breakfast, a break for a good lunch, a break for snacks in the afternoon, and then dinner with the family again although Hoss’ family wasn’t there because it wasn’t Sunday.

Cole Washington was there the next day to go over the books with Ben. He was surprised to see the red-headed boy there. Ben filled him in on the whole story while they worked at Ben’s desk.

“Yes, I wrote it all down to explain to Adam. I don’t want him riding in here and wondering who the red-headed boy is who’s living in the house. If you wouldn’t mind, would you post this letter for me. It’s such a favor to have you do that for me when we meet. Saves me a trip to town. I wish that you could bring letters out here too, but somehow the letters from Adam seemed to have diminished. I guess he’s having a difficult time getting letters to us while traveling in Europe.”

“Yes, I would suppose that is difficult. Why just last week I was reading in the New York papers about how a hurricane must have sunk a number of ships because they’re missing. How many families must be wondering what happened to loved ones and how much mail must be lost because those ships never made it to port.”

Things were working much as Cole hoped. He was planting seeds of doubt over Adam’s fate even as he knew that the eldest son had returned to the country and was working in the eastern states. He was doing some kind of work for the federal government although his letters weren’t specific as to his duties. None of those letters were going to be read by any Cartwright though. It didn’t suit Cole’s purposes. What did suit them was this new addition to the Ponderosa. He wasn’t exactly sure how to use the news yet but hoped that soon something would come to him. He needed to find a way to stop Adam from coming home and guessed that this Jamie Hunter was what he needed to do that.

As Cole rode back to town with that thick envelope tucked securely in his pocket, Jamie asked Ben about him. There was something about the way Cole stared at him that he didn’t like.

“Adam used to help me with the ledgers going over the figures and checking my math. You know, when you make a mistake, you often don’t see your own mistake. Someone else sees them right away.”

“I’m pretty good with math. Maybe I could help you. I did the figuring for my Pa.”

“Jamie, have you been to school?”

“Uh, well, some, but not too regular. My Ma taught me some when she could, and my Pa taught me some too.”

“Well, let’s try that then. I’ll have you look over some of what I’ve done with basic calculations. You tell me what you see, and I’ll see how your ideas match up with what Cole told me. How’s that?”

“Sounds like you’re giving me a test.”

“It is. Like any new man, you need to show you can do a job before you get assigned to it. Otherwise, the one who has been doing the job, keeps the job.”

When Joe and Candy returned late that afternoon, they were surprised that Jamie wasn’t working on the wood pile. He had seemed so eager again that morning to get busy.

“Joe, you don’t suppose he left already, do you. I mean, I gave him a lot of work to do. I hope it wasn’t too much.”

Hearing voices from inside, both men walked into the house and found Ben and Jamie talking at the desk. Ben had pulled another chair behind the desk and Jamie was leaning over the ledgers with him as they talked. Joe smiled as he saw his father clearly engaged with the youngster. Ben looked up when he heard the two men walk closer.

“Looks like I have someone to replace Cole. Jamie is rather good with basic math. Now he needs some help with the more complex numbers, but he’ll be going to school for that.”

Seeing the look Jamie had at the mention of school, Joe could sympathize. “It’s not all bad, Jamie. You’ll get to meet a lot of boys your age and girls too.”

“Joe, there is more to school than socializing. Jamie is a bright young man with a good future. He needs a good education too.”

“Now you sound like Adam.”

“Not a bad way to sound.”

Except they all saw the look Ben had at the mention of Adam, and Joe regretted bringing up the name again. It was always that way. Jamie, of course, had no way of knowing any of that so he asked the obvious question.

“Who’s Adam?”

“My oldest son. The one I told you who used to help me with the books.”

“Oh, when you said Adam before, I didn’t realize he was your son. I though he was like Cole, another man who worked for you.”

“Sometimes I think he thought that too. It was probably part of the reason he left. When I have some time, I’ll tell you more about him. He may show up here someday, and I’d like to think you’d like him. Right now, I think I want a cup of coffee.” With that, Ben headed to the kitchen.

Looking at Joe, Jamie was apologetic. “I didn’t mean to upset Mister Cartwright.”

“It’s all right, Jamie. I was the one to bring it up. I shouldn’t have.”

All three were quiet then for a time until Candy mentioned school again and Jamie grimaced. Then they laughed and were generally talking about light things when Ben returned with his coffee and a glass of milk and cookies for Jamie. He told Joe that he would write a letter to Cole telling him that Jamie would be replacing him at the job of going over the books. Cole would still have the far more lucrative job of handling Ben’s investments so Ben didn’t think it would be a problem. He asked Joe to deliver the letter to Cole when he and Candy went to get supplies the next day. For Cole of course, the letter turned out to be exactly what he was looking for. A few slight changes, and the letter was sent off to Adam more or less guaranteeing that he wouldn’t be showing up on the Ponderosa at least not for a very long time.

 

Chapter 6

The other main impact of Jamie’s arrival on the Ponderosa in the short term was that Ben no longer spent much time with Lucas. With so much to show Jamie and to teach him as well as the work he had to get done, Ben was too busy to pick up Lucas and take him to town as he once did. Now he had Jamie by his side most of the time. Ben had no idea how important that change in his behavior was to the future of Hoss’ marriage. Hoss had some idea though because Regan let him know how unhappy she was with the arrangement.

“I’m stuck here in the house all day with Lucas, and I never get to see anyone.”

“Darling, I have to work. I’ll see about getting a day off, but I can’t be here every day. You got Miss Mayhew coming in almost every day. Isn’t she company enough?”

“She works for us. That’s hardly the same as having friends or having parties.”

“You want a party? In your condition?”

Too late Hoss realized his blunder. He knew that Regan was sensitive about her looks while with child, and he had just emphasized that with her. Hoping she wouldn’t get too upset, he tried to soften the impact as he always did.

“You look so beautiful today. You glow with an inner beauty too.”

“It’s not going to work, you know. You always try flattery like that, but it’s always the same. I know what you must be thinking.”

“I only think good things about you. I don’t know why you don’t believe me.”

“Maybe if you seemed to care, I could believe you.”

“Nothing I do ever seems good enough, Regan. I love you. Why can’t you believe that? What do I have to do?”

“You look at other women.”
“Every man in the world looks at women. I do, but I always come back to you ’cause you’re the most beautiful woman I know. I don’t know what else to do to make you happy.”

“I’ve told you, but you never listen.”

“I bring you presents, but you toss them in a box on your dressing table or put the flowers on the table where they dry up.”

“Maybe if you ever brought me real flowers instead of wildflowers from the meadow when you ride home from working.”

“It’s because I think about you all the time even when I’m working.”

Typically, these arguments ended in silence with no resolution. Hoss was frustrated and didn’t know how to improve things. Lucas was being affected too by the strained relationship and cried when he raised his voice to Regan. Things did seem to get better when Jessamine was born at least for a while. There were many visitors and some brought vases of flowers and chocolates. Regan glowed with all the attention. If Hoss had only known how to keep that coming, he would have.

Regan craved special care and being the center of attention. When she had that, she was gracious and charming. Ben noticed the changes in her moods and talked to Joe about it comparing Regan to a child. Unfortunately, she was a woman married to his son but unable apparently to act like an adult. Both Ben and Joe did what they could to support Hoss, but more and more, both of them began to fear that what Adam had predicted was going to happen. Regan was going to hurt Hoss and hurt him deeply. They simply didn’t know how she would do it. What they feared was that she would have an affair and watched for signs of it. They never anticipated what she was planning so never saw any signs of that coming.

Cole Washington knew what Regan was planning, but discord in the family suited his purposes or so the thought. When Regan met with him to set up an account in her name, he was surprised but did as she requested. Over two years, she deposited money into that account fairly often but on an irregular schedule. Cole never asked where she got the money which was never in large amounts but large enough to build up a sizeable sum after a couple of years. If he had known that Regan leaving was going to lead to his downfall, he would have told Hoss and Amelia about that secret account as soon as she opened it. Instead he kept her secret. As the bank manager, he had control over things like that and no one else knew of that account much like no one knew of the account he had created using Adam’s funds. He was making a fortune using the eldest son’s money, and there was no one there to check on him doing it either.

On the Ponderosa, the good news was that Jamie was thriving. School had turned out to be a better experience than he could ever have imagined. He made friends, learned, and developed. There were things to learn on the ranch too as he found out about raising cattle, breaking horses, and timber as well as lumber operations. There were times when things didn’t go perfectly though and he broke rules. Those were the times when he found out that Mister Cartwright wouldn’t hesitate to enforce the rules that he had explained so carefully. Most of the time though, it wasn’t difficult to follow the rules. When he thought of leaving, he stayed because there was so much there that was better than anything he could even imagine finding anywhere else. When the offer came to join the family, he was overjoyed. There was some difficulty when his grandfather from Boston tried to claim him, but even his grandfather came to understand that he was better off on the Ponderosa than he was anywhere else. He stayed and became Jamie Hunter Cartwright.

It was then that Ben began to talk to him about the oldest Cartwright son who had been missing for so many years. Jamie could tell how much his father missed him not only by what he said but by how he said it. There was a longing in his voice that could never be missed.

“Aren’t you angry at him for not writing to you?”

“No, because I know my son. If there are no letters, there’s a good reason. He said he would write, so if he isn’t, there’s an explanation. I worry about what that is.”

“Do you think something bad may have happened to him and that’s why he doesn’t write to you?”

“I hope that is not the reason, but I can’t deny I worry about it. I know all the things that can go wrong when you sail the seas. He could be stranded somewhere. It can take a long time to get back when you end up someplace you never intended to go. It could be that he doesn’t have access to his funds. Cole has said he hasn’t asked for money from his accounts for a long time.”

“Do you trust Cole?”

“Why do you ask that, Jamie?”

“I don’t know exactly, but it seems that every time Cole says something, he isn’t looking directly at you like he should be. It always seems he’s got some papers in his hands or on his desk that suddenly he has to look at when he talks. Working with my Pa in the business for so many years, that was always a sign that someone wasn’t being truthful with us. I mean, if they said, sure, we’ll pay you when you finish but said it like that, Pa wanted half the money up front.”

“Half?”

“He knew they would never give us all of it before we worked, but that way we never got taken completely. We always got at least half. It covered expenses or at least enough so we could keep going.”

“Pa, you know, Jamie is right about Cole. I’m thinking about what he said, and he does always look at papers when he’s talking to you or to me for that matter. He never looks you in the eye when he’s talking especially when he’s answering a question.”

“Joe, that may be true, but what reason would he have to lie?”

Neither Joe nor Jamie had an answer to that question, but it was intriguing. Cole Washington began to notice more scrutiny from both Joe and Jamie when he met with Ben. He didn’t know what it meant and couldn’t think of anything he had done to invite such an obvious interest in him. He simply was very careful in everything he said or did around them to make sure there was nothing suspicious.

At school, Jamie eventually made friends with Cole’s daughter. She worked at the school teaching the younger children and was surprised that someone of Jamie’s age was even at the school. After a few months, he thought he knew her well enough and explained his background and why he was there.

“I never had much regular schooling. I know I’m about as old as anyone here but we figured I could spend one year here. If I want to keep going to school, I’d have to board in a city with a secondary school. I don’t want to do that, but if I learn enough here, I could probably get along learning on my own with books and things.”

“My father said he would get my younger brother a tutor when he gets old enough. That will be in a year or so. Maybe you could get a tutor too. There are people here who have been to college even. Some of them could probably be tutors.”

“My oldest brother went to college. If he was here, he could be my tutor.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was another brother. What is his name?”

“Adam. I never met him. I guess he went away a while back. Pa thinks he will come back some time, but they haven’t heard from him in a long time.”

“That’s funny. I think I saw some papers on my father’s desk with that name on them. I was looking for paper to do my work, and that’s when I saw them.”

“What kind of papers?”

“I don’t know. Just papers. I don’t know anything about the kinds of papers father would have on his desk. He has all kinds of papers there most days.”

“I don’t want it to seem like tattling or anything, but do you think it would be all right if I told my Pa what you said?”

“I suppose. I don’t see why it would be a secret.”

That night, Jamie didn’t know how to bring it up so he told Joe first. Immediately, Joe said they had to tell their father. Ben was noticeably agitated and wanted to know more, but of course, Jamie couldn’t answer any questions because he didn’t know any more.

“What I told you is all I know. She said she was looking for paper and saw papers with Adam’s name on them on his desk. She didn’t know what kind of papers they were because she doesn’t know what any kind of papers any of those are that her father has in his banking business.”

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I simply want to know something so badly. I guess a visit with Mister Washington is in order for tomorrow.”

As promised, the next day, Ben went to see Cole, and Joe went with him. Cole looked surprised to see them and a bit apprehensive when he saw the demeanor of both. When both Ben and Joe refused to take a seat but stood menacingly at his desk, he got worried that somehow they had found out his dealings. He was relieved by how the conversation went though.

“I understand you have papers with my son’s name on them. I want to know why you have papers with Adam’s name.”

“Ah, I see my daughter’s friendship with your adopted son has led to this. She is always snooping about. Well, it is jumping the gun so to speak, but there is a good reason for it. You know that Adam and I are partners in a venture in California. I have been unable to sell that property because he is unavailable. I have missed several opportunities to make significant profits as a result. My intention is to go to court and have him declared legally dead so that I can exercise my right to claim his shares and sell our interests.”

“You can’t!”

“Well, there you’re wrong. He hasn’t been heard from in nearly five years. When that threshold has been met, I believe the court will side with me. Our partnership agreement cedes ownership to the surviving partner. All benefits accrue to the one still alive if one is deceased. That survivor would be me.”

“You greedy vulture!” Joe wanted to strangle the man.

Ben took a more businesslike approach. “Our lawyer will fight you on this every step of the way.”

“That’s not going to work, and you know it.”

After leaving Cole’s office, Ben and Joe headed to their lawyer’s office and found out that Cole was correct. All they could do was delay the inevitable. Ben told Hiram that’s what he wanted then.

“Throw up every roadblock you can to slow this process. Meanwhile, we’ll see what we can do with the board of the main bank. Maybe they can put some pressure on the man. Surely they don’t want their bank managers doing this to depositors.”

Hiram Woods was an experienced attorney. “Ben, do it discreetly. From what I’ve observed of Cole Washington, you need to be careful.”

“You’re telling me he’s dangerous.”

“I’m telling you to watch your back.”

To be careful, Ben wrote letters but took them to Carson City to mail them out. It was a wise move. Cole’s man was watching for anything going out from Virginia City and assured Cole that Ben had not contacted his superiors in California.

It was going to be some time before Ben got an answer and there was a roundup to do. Hoss seemed almost relieved to be able to get away from the pressure of being with Regan, and Joe and Candy could see the difference in him the first night in camp. By the end of the roundup, Hoss seemed more like his old self laughing and joking with the men. Then it was time to ride home and the tension rose in him again.

“Pa, I don’t know how to make her happy. Nothing I do is good enough anymore.”

“Hoss, having babies is hard on a woman, and raising two little ones isn’t easy either. Perhaps she needs more help.”

“I don’t know. Miss Mayhew is there five days a week and she hardly talks to her.”

“Have you tried asking Regan what you can do to help?”

“I do, and she tells me that she’s already told me and I don’t do it. Pa, I don’t know what it is she wants. It’s getting real hard to go home. If it wasn’t for the children, I don’t think I could take it much longer.” Hoss was quiet for a time. “I’m sorry. It’s my problem. I’ll work something out.”

Ben’s heart broke for his son as he watched him ride for his house. Joe, Candy, and Jamie rode up then to ask what was wrong.

“Hoss is not a happy man. I’m sorry, but there’s not anything we can do.”

Joe sighed. “Adam was right, wasn’t he? She’s going to break his heart.”

“I hope not, but I’m afraid she might.”

By that evening, they had their answer. Hoss drove his carriage into the yard. He had both teary-eyed children with him. After he got the children out of the carriage and into the house, he asked Joe if he would get both into a guest room upstairs and asked Jamie to read a story to them to keep them busy while he talked to Joe and their father. Hoss pulled several valises from the carriage and set them on the ground. Candy came from his quarters and asked if he could help. Hoss asked if he could take care of the carriage and the team. Then he turned to his father.

“Son, have you left her? Is it that bad?”

“No, Pa, she left me. Let’s wait for Joe to get back. I don’t want to explain this twice tonight.”

“Let’s carry the bags inside then. Joe should be down soon.”

Almost as soon as they got the luggage inside, Joe was there. Ben told him to pour them three brandies so Joe knew it was going to be a tough story to tell and to hear. He poured out three generous portions and the three took seats by the fireplace.

“I got home, and Miss Mayhew was there with the children. She said that Regan packed up and left the morning I left for the roundup. She told Miss Mayhew that she was going to be gone a couple of days and would she please stay over and watch the children. That was ten days ago.”

“Hoss, are you sure she’s gone and that something didn’t happen to her?”

“I checked her things. She took all her jewelry, all her makeup, all her fancy doodads and corsets and such. She didn’t need all of that for a couple of days. She only left behind most of her plain dresses and the aprons she wore over them. Most everything else is gone. There was no note or nothing like that anywhere that I could find.”

“Where would she get money to travel?”

“Joe, she musta planned this so she probably had that all planned out too. I gave her money every week for shopping. I never kept track. She coulda been putting money away for a long time.”

“Son, I am so sorry.”

“I am too, Pa, but at least I got two great children out of it. Now, I gotta go up and do my best for them. Would you give Jamie the short version of what I told you?”

Many miles away, Regan was finalizing the purchase of a saloon. She had enough for a sizeable down payment and planned to use revenue from the business to pay off the rest. Where she was, she never expected a Cartwright or anyone who knew one to ever walk through the door. It didn’t take long for her to wish she was wrong on that count as she regretted the move she had made and knew what a colossal mistake it had been. It was too big an error to simply hope an apology would work so she felt she was stuck in her new life, one for which she was ill suited and more unhappy than she had ever been. All her dreams crashed down around her as reality hit. Her own immaturity and stupidity were tops on her list of reasons why her marriage had failed. She missed her children and she ached for the loss of the one man she had truly loved and who had truly loved her. The first time a man tried to show affection to her in her new home, she knew she would forever be alone because no man could ever match Hoss.

 

Chapter 7

Riding into Tucson, Adam got a sensation of emptiness in the pit of his stomach. With a flashback to his brother Hoss and his gut feelings, he wondered if that was how they felt. After taking so many risks, he had to consider if this one would be his last for he had heard this young outlaw was deadly. It was the reason he had been sent to bring him in. With all the other cases like this one, he had never failed. From thugs in Philadelphia and Chicago and then criminals from a gang in Missouri and some who had tried to rob the mint in Denver, he had always been successful. Unfortunately, for every lawman, there was bound to be that first and last situation that was disaster. He hoped this wasn’t it. Getting so close to home, he was considering a visit. It had been over six years, and he knew he should have been more dutiful in writing and certainly could have visited. Yet something always held him back from that confrontation. Although he wanted more information and explanation, he worried that he wouldn’t like what he heard any better than what he heard before he departed the Ponderosa.

The way things had gone at the end left him with the impression that he didn’t fit in. It wasn’t a new thought, but rather it was one that had been brought to the forefront and reinforced by the things that were said as well as actions that were taken. He had made some changes too, but he wasn’t sure those would be accepted either. He had traveled as he had said he would, but then he met a woman who not only breached the walls he had put up according to his father. She tore them down. He smiled every time he saw her, and if he didn’t, she found a way to make him.

However, she had not been smiling when he accepted this job. Entering the Marshal’s Service only four years earlier, he had risen fast and no longer needed to do this kind of work. Making the rules and assignments as well as supervising the men in the department were his responsibilities for the whole region. It was likely he was going to get another promotion soon if he didn’t take one of the other job offers he had. An appointment to a federal judgeship had even been dangled since he had taken to studying law in his spare time. Investigation, apprehension, and prosecution careers beckoned in every direction, and yet he took on this dangerous assignment that could have been handed off to any number of other men. Adam smiled grimly. It had been one of those gut feelings too and nothing he could explain to her.

“Why do you have to go?”

“I just do. I can’t always send the men out to do dangerous work and sit behind a desk and wait to find out what happened to them.”

“You did your part. No one is going to question that.”

“I might. I can’t explain it to you, but I feel like this case is one I have to do.”

“But I thought we were discussing a trip to Nevada.”

“We were, and we can talk about that when I get back. It won’t be that long.”

They made love that night in almost a quiet desperation as she seemed to want to touch every part of him as if her touch was a talisman that would protect him. He let her do whatever she wished as he always did. He could deny her nothing. In the morning, he held her close for a long time and then talked to their son.

“Papa, do I have rocks from there?”

“No, I’ve never been to Tucson before.”

“Will you bring me rocks?”

“Yes, I’ll find one or two special Tucson rocks and bring them to you.”

Young Samuel Cartwright had a collection of rocks in a box and could tell anyone the name of the city from which each one came. He especially liked those that were colorful even more than those that were shiny so Adam knew what he needed to find. Connie smiled as she watched the two. The tall muscular dark-haired man kneeling beside the thin dark-haired boy. No one who saw them would ever doubt they were father and son. Yet, Samuel was six years old and a toddler before she had ever met Adam. He had not even known she had a son for some time because at first, she didn’t think there was a future for them and didn’t share any personal details like that. For social occasions and for an escort to the theatre, he was certainly very nice to have available, but his moodiness and his standoffish attitude didn’t appeal to her on a more intimate level. A gentleman by all measures, he was also cold and distant as a friend. Her understanding of his changed dramatically and permanently on the day of the funeral of one of their co-workers.

As a clerk in the department, Connie wrote copies of reports to be submitted to higher authorities, to courts for active cases, and to be archived. Many of the men who worked for the department had atrocious penmanship and their scrawled reports had to be put into much better form to be useful. She did that, and then the men signed the copies. In the process, she got to know the men rather well. One of them was a good friend and died in the line of duty.

At that funeral, she saw Adam turn and walk away from all the others and wondered where he was going as all the horses and carriages were in the opposite direction from where he had gone. She found him slumped against a wall and crying. It was the last thing she had ever expected. Her first inclination had been to leave, but then she decided that a man like that who was crying needed someone, and she was the only one there. She moved closed and dropped to her knees.

“Adam, it’s Connie.”

Immediately, his head snapped up and he wiped his eyes. He was going to try to stand and most likely escape, but she grabbed his arm.

“No, you’re hurting, and I’m here. Take comfort in my offer of friendship. It’s what a man does. Show me your heart for a change instead of that model of a man that doesn’t seem to have one.”

“I have a heart.”

“I know. I saw that it was breaking. It’s why I stayed here. Now, tell my why you were crying.”

Connie knew he wanted to deny he had been crying, but the red and puffy eyes, wet cheeks, and the head that had been bowed were too much evidence to refute. He must have understood that too and didn’t even try. Instead, he closed his eyes pausing as if in deep thought, and she waited.

“Caleb was so much like my youngest brother. He was full of life, smart, and talented, but he was hot-tempered and impulsive too. Too often, he reacted first and thought second. I was doing my best to work with him and get him past the worst of his tendencies to go off half-cocked and to be more thoughtful in what he did.”

“I’m guessing you drew on the experiences you had with your youngest brother.”

Dropping his head again, Adam expelled his breath forcefully. “I can only hope they worked better there.”

“You think you’re responsible for Caleb’s death?”

“Of course, I am.”

“Oh, no, you’re not. Caleb walked right into a situation he knew he shouldn’t. I know he was being brave and all, but it was still stupid. I’ve heard that speech you give the men. You haven’t been in charge long, but you must have told them twenty or thirty times. If it looks like you’re in a spot where you’re more likely to be killed than to bring in your man, back off and get help. You’ve told them you know outlaws who get away can wreak more havoc, but that they’ll wreak even more if you have to keep replacing marshals they’ve killed and training them to do the job. Better to have live, experienced marshals doing the job and bringing in outlaws than going to funerals for brave, courageous marshals who died. Isn’t that about right? That’s what you tell them, so isn’t that what you believe? If it isn’t, you should stop saying it.”

“It is.”

“There, we’ve settled that. It wasn’t your fault. Now we can grieve for Caleb and the young life that was lost. I assume you will take some men and go get the bastards who did it?” Looking at him in all seriousness, Connie waited.

“We’ll get them.”

“Good. Now, you shouldn’t be alone today. Come with me. We’ll go to my house and have something to eat and talk about Caleb, about the good times, and we’ll remember him full of life.”

“I shouldn’t. I should go to the office.”

“Don’t make excuses. You need to be with someone, and so do I.”

So, Adam went to Connie’s home and met her housekeeper and Samuel, both of whom were surprises. Her home was quite spacious too far beyond what any clerk could afford. His questions were apparent by his look of surprise.

“I’ll tell my story if you tell me yours.”

“It’s not a game.”

“I know it isn’t. How about a quid pro quo? You know, value for value? I think you want to tell me so why not start now?”

Disarming him in every way, she made him smile and start talking. He told her about Regan and the promise he had made to Inger. That led to some family history before he got back to talking about Regan and the aftermath of what he had tried to do there and all the mistakes in judgment he had made.

“I can understand why you did what you did.”

“But you think it was wrong too.”

“What do you think?”

“It was wrong. I violated one of the two greatest tenets of relationships: Never come between a man and a woman and never interfere between a parent and a child. You can’t win.”

“There must be exceptions.”

“Perhaps, but so far when I thought there were, I only messed things up.” So, Adam told Connie about Laura and Peggy. “At the end, I think I loved Peggy more than Laura. I actually wonder if I loved Laura at all. When I was told how I acted toward her, I was upset, but when I thought about it, I think they were right.”

“How did you act toward her?”

“Hoss said I was critical of her especially in front of others. I was always looking for ways to change her and checking up on her to see what she had done wrong. He said I didn’t smile when I saw her.”

“You always smile when you see me.”

It was already dark. The dishes had long since been cleared away, Samuel had been tucked into bed, and the housekeeper had retired to her room. Adam was sitting beside Connie on a soft couch before a nice fire in the fireplace. She had poured two glasses of wine for them and those sat half-empty on the table in front of them. With his legs stretched out and leaning back, Adam felt more relaxed than he had in a long time except her question created some tension. He knew she was correct but didn’t know what she wanted him to say, so he answered simply and honestly.

“Yes, I do.” After a moment of silence, he guessed it might be best if he left so he suggested that he should leave.

“I think you should stay. I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

“Sleeping in a guest room or sleep in my flat; there doesn’t seem like there’s much difference.”

“I wasn’t talking about the guest room.”

Staring at her for a time, Adam knew what she meant but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “I haven’t even kissed you yet.”

“You could try that and see if you liked it.”

Connie was very close to him so kissing did seem like a good idea. She waited to let him make all the moves even though she had given the invitation. It was if she knew he needed to be the one in charge. Leaning down toward her, he pulled her close and kissed her softly at first, but found he wanted more. Kissing her more deeply, he was rewarded with her willing response to anything that he did. However, before it went too far, he pulled back and waited for her to open her eyes and look at him.

“Adam, is there something wrong?”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“As sure as I can be.”

“It’s been a long time since I was with a woman. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You won’t disappoint me because I’ve never been with a man.”

If they had been standing, Adam would have had to sit down. As it was, he was shocked enough to freeze and stare at her. She had a son so he had made assumptions that apparently he needed to re-evaluate. At the least, he needed to hear some of her story.

“My father was an entrepreneur. I’m sure you’ve seen my last name on a lot of buildings in town. He and my mother came out here to help build something that would last and hopefully build a fortune in the process. It worked, but they lost their lives doing it. One of the men who worked for them killed them and my brother. He took me by force. His plan was to kill me too, but I got away. I made him believe I passed out, and when he stood up to get something, I got up from the bed and went out the window. I tore the curtain free as I went, and that’s all I was wearing as I ran to the neighbor’s house. He was caught, tried, and hanged. Everything was mine, but I thought I had nothing. Then I found out I had something; I was with child. The lawyers knew I couldn’t handle the investments so they helped me sell them one by one. As the people who have bought them finish paying off their debts to me, they change the names on the businesses so eventually none will retain the family name.”

“You’re wealthy.”

“Yes, I am. I find it interesting that is what you got out of that story that surprises you the most.”

“No, I’m only finding it hard to voice what I’m thinking. You have a son by the man who violated you.”

“No, I have my son. It is why I have no husband. I insist that he is my son. No man here who knows the story wants anything to do with Samuel, but he is my son.”

“He’s a wonderful boy.”

“He is.”

“Why do you work?”

“I worked as a clerk for my father. I guess I needed to do something to show a connection to my past, to my family. I am well-educated for a woman, and there’s little else for me to do here.”

“And the Marshals Service wouldn’t care about your local history only your work.”

“Exactly. They would hire me when no one else would.” Connie sighed and stared at the fire. “I suppose now that the mood has been broken, nothing is going to happen tonight.”

“It depends.”

“On what?”

“What you want.”

“I want you to stay.”

“I’ll stay. We’ll see what happens. There’s no need to rush things. We need to take our time and let you learn about things.”

There had been references in the office to Connie and her background usually with words such as sad or tragic. Adam had never guessed what kind of story was behind those words. Now that he knew, he had great respect for the woman who could withstand all of that and remain so true to her character. He told her so and she started to cry, which was the last thing he had expected. They spent the night together but there was no sex. The time was too emotionally charged for both of them. Yet in the morning, they felt refreshed as if they had an anchor they had needed for so long.

“I always told myself that I would marry the first woman I met like you.”

“So, what’s holding you back?”

Staring at her, Adam was taken aback by her boldness once more, and at the same moment, taken in by her honesty and her willingness to accept him as he was. He had admitted a number of problems in his character as they had talked yet she had told him if he knew those things, he must be working on change.

“Anyone who looks in the mirror like that is looking for faults. I look in the mirror not to admire myself but to see what’s out of place or if I have a smudge on my face or well, you know. You’re examining yourself is showing your desire to improve who you are. That’s never easy, but even wanting to do so is admirable.”

“You think I need to improve?”

“No, I think you think so and that’s what matters. I know you told me about the mistakes you made, but I didn’t see any of them as great faults of character. Rather, they were the mistakes a man might make simply because, well, anyone can. We make mistakes, and we get wiser.”

“What mistakes have you made?”

“I shouldn’t have sold all the businesses my father made. However, at the time, I was so overwhelmed, I took the advice of the lawyers. Now I have money but what do I do with it? I would rather have a business.”

“Why don’t you start a business?”

“Where? What would I do?”

“We could talk about that.”

About that time, the housekeeper showed up at the door to the dining room clearly displeased that Adam was there. Samuel was by her side and smiling as it seemed he liked Adam and didn’t mind seeing him there.

“Ma’am, a word with you, please.”

A short time later, Connie returned to the dining room and was upset. Her housekeeper had given notice. Adam stood and left the room to go to talk to her. He returned a short time later.

“She’s rescinded her notice. She’ll stay.”

“What did you tell her?”

“My lady, a word with you, please.”

A short time later, her face flushed, Connie walked back into the dining room and asked Samuel if she could speak with him. He said he was happy to have a turn.

“Samuel, would you be happy to have Adam here more often?”

“Yes, I like Adam.”

“What if he was here every day?”

“I’d like that.”

“What if he wanted to marry me?”

“Would he be my papa then?”

“Yes, I guess he would be.”

“Good, because the other boys say I don’t have one, and I’d like to have him. He’d be a good one to have. They wouldn’t dare say that about him that he isn’t my papa.”

Adam had been listening outside the room and stepped in. His big grin said he had heard it all. Samuel greeted him with a matching look, but Connie looked a bit stunned. Putting his arm around her, Adam guided her to a chair and called for the housekeeper to bring in breakfast. When it was served, Adam asked about the more obvious questions.

“Today is Saturday. We could get married today, and have a big party in a week or so to celebrate with our friends. Does that work for you or do you want to wait the more formal six weeks and walk down the aisle like a proper bride?”

“Well, I think I would be a proper bride in either case. But no, I don’t need to have a traditional wedding.” Connie smiled at the look of discomfort he had at the faux paus he had made. “Don’t worry. I know what you meant. I can tease too.”

“So, we could get married today?”

“But, I want our friends to attend too. After what happened with Caleb, this is something that we should include them too. Let’s tell a few and see how many they can round up by the end of the day. I would like our wedding to be a celebration.”

Although slightly uncomfortable with the idea, Adam knew she was correct and that it was another of those things he needed to change in himself. He smiled. “Yes, that’s what we should do.”

“Can you contact them and make arrangements for a minister too? I will work at getting as much food and beverages here as I can manage. It will work, Adam. We can do this.”

“Yes, we can do this.”

They got married at Connie’s house with a dozen friends who brought wives and children if they had them. It was quite a party, and that kicked off a more normal life for both of them except of course with Adam gone on business occasionally. The only sour note had been when Adam had sent a letter and photo of his new wife and son posed with him on their wedding day. He had gotten a terse and cold reply. Unimaginably blunt, it ended any further attempt to contact his family. He knew that someday he was going to confront his father, but it could wait. He had a family who made him happy. The letter stayed folded in a book in his belongings. It wasn’t one he needed to pull out to read because the words were burned into his memory.

Adam

You are no longer needed on the Ponderosa. I have formally adopted Jamie as my son and now have three sons to help me run the ranch. The three of them are smart and responsible and are all I need to get done what needs to be done. So, your presence is no longer required.

Ben Cartwright

His hands had been shaking when he handed it to Connie. Until she read it, she thought someone on the family had died. Neither of them had any way of knowing that the letter wasn’t originally meant for Adam nor that none of Adam’s letters had reached Ben or the family for years. Adam had received nothing from them, but he hadn’t been surprised by that until he settled down and sent them his current address. He had been moving around so much that he hadn’t thought they would be able to get in touch with him, but he had sent letters as often as he could and continued when he settled into this new job. Yet nothing arrived for him until this poison pill. It was incredibly hard to swallow, and yet something seemed off about it. Without anything else though, Adam had no way to contest it. The only thing he could do was someday visit his former home and find out what had happened.

 

Chapter 8

It seemed odd to Adam that all these thoughts were stirred up by the trip to Tucson. His whole relationship with Connie had been on his mind for the trip. She wasn’t at all happy that he was going especially when he announced he was going alone. It went against what he preached to his men, but he told her he didn’t have a man available to travel to Tucson and that he would rely on the lawmen in the town to help him. He had done so in other cases, so it was a promise she knew he would keep. It still made her nervous though.

The other thing was that he kept having dreams as well as daydreams of his family especially Hoss. Of everyone in the family, he estimated he thought of Hoss most often. The two had been nearly inseparable as children and then worked side-by-side for so many years and had developed almost a sixth sense. He wondered if there was something wrong and he was sensing it. He couldn’t imagine what it could be though as he had no idea what was happening in his brother’s life as cut off as he was from his past and his family.

As soon as he was in Tucson, he sought out the sheriff’s office. He needed to let them know he was in town, but more importantly to let them know why he was there and to get their assistance. If they could tell him the best place to get a room, dinner, and a drink, that was going to be even better. The deputy who greeted him gave him a suspicious look until he produced his credentials and showed his badge. With a growth of beard and dusty clothing, Adam guessed he looked more like someone who ought to be apprehended rather than doing the apprehending. It worked well for him in situations like this though, and he purposely rode in after spending days on the trail without shaving so that he looked like he fit in. The less he looked like a lawman, the better he could blend into the local scene and approach people for information.

“Cartwright, huh? You any relation to that Regan Cartwright over in the saloon across the street?”

Shocked, Adam stared at the man for a moment. “When did she get here?”

“Oh, about two, three months ago, I guess. She’s not a happy woman though. Seems like she ain’t too thrilled about being here, but I don’t know that she has anywhere else to go.”

“Listen, when the sheriff comes in, tell him I’m over in the saloon. I want to talk to this woman, and maybe someone will tell me something about where to find this El Rojo too.”

“Oh, all you gotta do is ask a few questions about him, and he’ll likely find you except not when you want to be found. The man don’t like being chased. Last few bounty hunters ended up hanging in trees or laying gutted outside of town.”

“I’m not a bounty hunter. I thought he bragged about being fast with a gun.”

“He is, but he probably didn’t figure a bounty hunter was worth the effort. Now maybe a U. S. Marshal will get his attention.”

“I don’t suppose anyone in this office has gone after him then?”

“The warrants are federal or from other states. He never breaks the law in Arizona or not so that we know because he knows that otherwise we’d have to arrest him just like every other sheriff in the territory would.”

“You will help me to arrest him though, won’t you?”

“You’ll have to talk to the sheriff about that.”

Disgusted, Adam left the office and walked across the street and into the saloon. It was a windy day so the doors were closed. It was quiet and dark inside but surprisingly cool. He stood at the bar to acclimate his vision to the lighting, ordered a beer, and asked if there were sandwiches. There were if he wanted to pay an extra charge. He did, so one was ordered. When he got the sandwich, he took a table in the corner so he could watch the room and the door, and he sat down to rest, have lunch, and wait for Regan. She arrived a short time later apparently alerted by the deputy because she came in and looked around until she spotted him. With an odd look of relief and apprehension, she walked over to him.

“I’m not sure why you’re here. Is what you told the deputy the truth?”

“I’m not the one who tells lies.”

“Nothing’s changed, has it?”

“Why are you here, Regan? What happened to you and Hoss?”

With that, the completely unexpected happened. Regan began to cry. That brought the bartender and another man to the table because they thought that Adam had done something wrong. Regan quickly told them he was a friend and they should leave the two of them to talk.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. He just brings back memories that are painful. Now, go about your business. I want to talk with him.”

Looking back at Adam, Regan was surprised by his appearance but also by what almost seemed to be sympathy. So, used to the hard edge of the man, that gentleness surprised her and weakened her resolve even more. With no strength left to fight, she told him the truth.

“I showed my true colors, and they weren’t even the ones I thought they were. I was so bored being the wife of a rancher and the mother of two children.” She saw Adam’s surprise there. “Yes, we have two beautiful children, and I abandoned them and Hoss. Somehow, I thought I could leave and find some crazy dream of glory and riches that I had pursued in my youth only it was a stupid dream then and it’s worse now. I thought I could find romance too like a young girl dreams of having of a man who brings her roses and chocolates. And they argue and then makeup up with kisses, and well you know, but that was a silly dream too. I ruined the only real dream I had, the only chance at happiness I ever had. I left the man I loved and set out to prove something that was never real. I was irritated at first when he was always so jealous even when a man looked at me, and then I grew even more irritated when he wasn’t jealous any more. I couldn’t stand it and I left.”

“You ran away from home like a child.”

As much as Regan wanted to argue and to be offended by that statement, she couldn’t because it was true. She had acted with all the immaturity of a child running away from home. With resources and cunning a child didn’t have; she had made a plan so she wouldn’t be found and went far enough away so there wouldn’t be a chance meeting. Yet, even that was a failure because here was a chance meeting with her husband’s brother and her humiliation was complete.

“Will you tell him?” She thought for a moment and sighed. “No, I suppose you won’t. I mean, if you haven’t bothered to write to them in all these years, why would you tell them about me? They would be far more interested in you, and you haven’t seen fit to tell them anything about that.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? I mean, you never wrote. There were never any of the promised letters after those first couple. Your father still believes that someday you’ll come home, but your brothers both are worried that you died somewhere far away so they were never notified.”

“But I did write. I wrote a number of letters. I sent a large package when I got married. It had a photograph of my wife and our son.”

“Your son? Isn’t that doing things in the wrong order?”

A frown told her not to say anything more about that. “When did you get married? I mean, when was that package supposed to have arrived?”

“I’ve been married for over three years, almost four.”

“Adam, nothing ever arrived from you.”

The two sat quietly for a time. Adam sipped his drink. Then he leaned forward and took Regan’s hand.

“What do you want to do now? If you could do anything, what would you want to do?”

“If I could, I would go home, but I can’t, not after what I did.”

“Do you own this place?”

“I put a down payment on it and I’ve made payments. I am the owner, but I still owe a lot. It will take some time for me to pay off the rest.”

“What if you left?”

“I guess it would go back to the previous owner and I’d lose the money I put in it.”

“That’s just money. You’re leaving. I’m taking you back to the Ponderosa. You have to find out if there’s a chance for you with Hoss, but at the very least, those children need their mother. One way or another, you need to do that.”

“And you want to go back and find out what happened to all your letters?”

“Yes, I do. If they never got them, how did I get a letter from my father telling me he adopted a son and didn’t need me anymore.”

“What? Ben would never have done that. I heard him telling Jamie about you many times. He told him he wanted him to know his oldest brother because someday he’d come home.”

“So, he did adopt another son?”

“Yes, but not to take your place. Jamie needed a home. He lived with us, with the family for a time, and he fit in so well. After a while, it seemed the logical thing to do.”

“All right, while we travel, you can tell me about Jamie.”

“You’re assuming I’ll come with you.”

“You are coming with me, aren’t you? Isn’t it the best offer you’ve had in a long time?”

Regan dropped her head and nodded slightly. “It is, but I don’t know if I can do this. I’m not sure what kind of reception I’m going to get and if it’s worth the pain.”

She was thinking of what Hoss would say to her and what her sister Amelia would say this time. Then she smiled a little though because her son and her daughter would be there, and they wouldn’t say anything bad. At least she hoped that was the case. She loved them with all of her heart, and now that she had months away from him, she knew she loved Hoss that way too. Every man she had met since she left, she had measured against Hoss and found each one lacking. Hoss had the strength of character that no man she met could even think of having. Adam saw the smile and asked what she was thinking so she told him.

“Keep those thoughts. In fact, write some of that down. You may need something like a journal to help convince Hoss of how serious you are about your return. Start putting all of that down. We can go to the general store and get a journal for you if you don’t have one.”

“Thank you. I’d like that. It’s a good idea.” Then Regan paused and looked at Adam. “I guess I just agreed to go with you.”

“Yes, you did, but you were going with me as soon as I suggested it. It only took a little time for the idea to sink in and take hold. Now, let’s get things organized for the trip.”

“What about the reason you came here? That man is dangerous.”

“He’ll wait. I can send a telegram and have some men sent here to deal with him. With the lack of help I can expect from the local sheriff’s office, I don’t think I should continue anyway. It’s best to go after a man like that with someone watching your back.”

“So, we’ll be heading to the Ponderosa as soon as I can manage to get things in order here?”

“Yes. I’ll get a room, and hopefully, we can travel in a couple of days. Now, let’s head to the general store first and start getting things for the trip. Then I want to send a few telegrams. Then we can go to your place and start planning. How does that sound? Do you have any other ideas to add to that?”

“No, I rather like your ideas, and I like this new version of you that is nice enough to ask my opinion instead of telling me what to do. You haven’t criticized me either when you have ample reason to do so.”

“Regan, I’m sure you’ve already criticized yourself enough, and we all make mistakes. There’s no point in me telling you which ones you’ve made. You already know.”

After a short trip to the mercantile, Adam told Regan that if she would wait on the walk outside the store, he would be back quickly. He wanted to send a telegram to his office and to Connie. When he did that, which took more time than he had expected, he stepped back outside intending to rejoin Regan, but she had gone back inside the store to get out of the dust kicked up by the wind. Instead, standing in the street was a young, swarthy man with a pistol on each hip. Without asking, Adam knew who it had to be. There was no way out of the situation so he looked at the sky to see that it was to his disadvantage. Instead of stepping into the street, he walked to the side of the building where he was and around the corner.

“Hey, where you going, mister marshal. I come for you.” When there was no response, the man walked closer. “I said I’m calling you out. You a coward? You a yellow belly like those bounty hunters? I could take care of you like I took care of them.” There still was no response. He walked closer and called out a few more choice comments and then a few nasty insults. Nothing got a response so he walked to the corner of the building and looked around it. No one was there.

“Ahem, I’m back here. How about this? I like this better.”

At the first sound, the young man whirled about ready to draw, but now the sun was in his eyes and the dust was blowing toward him. He wasn’t at all sure he wanted to do this now that the tables had turned on him.

“You calling me out, marshal? I didn’t think lawmen were supposed to do that.”

Without another comment, he ducked around the same corner that Adam had used to get away from him earlier and headed for cover. Now it was going to be a running battle, and Adam guessed that his two guns and extra ammunition might be crucial if that happened. Knowing he would be at a distinct disadvantage playing such a game in a town he didn’t know, Adam stayed put but kept surveying the area around him for any sign of the outlaw. To make it more difficult for the gunman, he moved so that he a post, a barrel, and a wagon were at various points around him and the windowless wall of a building was behind him. Fast guns often were not particularly accurate but relied on firing first and often to win. Adam hoped that was true in this case keeping his gun in his hand and knowing he wouldn’t be shaken by not getting off the first shot. To him, accuracy was more important. When it came, it happened fast as he came through the mercantile. Adam never have expected that and might have been caught too much by surprise except Regan threw a shoe through the store window at about the same time as the outlaw stepped through the door aiming at Adam and firing a shot to kill. Dropping down to one knee, Adam aimed, fired, and killed the man before he could fire a second shot. The outlaw’s shot hit the wall directly behind him showering Adam with wood splinters. Had he not been warned, it would have likely blown up his heart. He stood up and then sat down on the bench that was there. Regan joined him shaken by the events that had turned so violent so quickly.

“I didn’t want him to kill you. It was all I knew to do.”

“I suppose the shopkeeper wants someone to pay for his window.”

“Yes, and he’s quite adamant about it. He shouted at me when I left.”

“It’s the way it always is. They beg for help, but never want it to cost them anything. Life simply doesn’t work that way. There is always a price to pay.”

“Don’t pay him. He cheats his customers all the time, and his is the only store in town so they have no other option.”

“A little justice to be meted out in an unorthodox way?”

The street that was empty was now filled with people. Adam told the sheriff to take care of things, and he would take care of Regan. The sheriff was going to smirk but one look from Adam, and he thought better of doing that.

At Regan’s flat, they discussed her interest in the saloon. There was one person who had offered to buy it, but Regan gotten an offer in first. It was worth finding out if he was still interested so Regan and Adam made plans to go see him in the morning. Regan made him an offer to sell her share in the saloon and her mortgage to him at a fire sale price. It was too attractive an offer for him to refuse and a better deal than Regan had thought she would get. As they rode back to town, Adam was philosophical.

“If you give people the opportunity to be decent, most will be. We didn’t go in and try to be hard nose with him so he was more agreeable to us.”

“Of course, it didn’t hurt to have a scary U.S. Marshal standing beside me when I made the offer.”

Adam grinned. “No, that didn’t hurt.”

By the end of the day, they had made travel arrangements and Adam had answers to his telegrams. He sent a new one to his office telling them there was no need to send anyone. He sent another to Connie agreeing to her offer. Then it was a matter of waiting until a lawyer could draw up the papers to sign over the saloon and having Regan sign them and get the cash. Once that was done, they were free to go. Regan was apprehensive, but Adam told her that nothing could be worse than being alone.

“I guess you would know that.”

“I do, and now, so do you. Let’s get you home, and see if you can patch up the mess you made. I hope you can.”

“You know, I think you are on my side now.”

“I always want the best for my family, and you’re part of my family.”

“Thank you. That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“You saved my life. I owe you too.”

“I don’t think so. I did enough that I’m the one with lots of debts to pay, but I think I finally realize what I need to do and I intend to do it.”

There was a change in Regan as far as Adam could tell. She seemed to be more serious, more aware that she wasn’t the only one in the room. He was more hopeful that he was going to be doing something that would turn out well for his brother and for her and their children. He realized that he was more nervous about seeing Hoss and his family than she was. It was a strange feeling to worry about going to see your father and brothers and wondering how they would react. He wasn’t the prodigal son but felt like one.

 

Chapter 9

The trip was without incident except for the difficulty in finding separate rooms for them in towns along the way. Adam ended up sleeping in a hotel lobby once and in a livery stable another time so that Regan could have a room. He refused to consider sharing a room with her. She understood why. They bypassed Virginia City and headed directly to Hoss’ house because Regan assumed he would be there. The house was dark though and clearly no one lived there by the condition of the porch and front yard.

“He probably moved back to the main house. With two kids, it would make sense to have the whole family together again.”

“Adam, this is going to be even more difficult with everyone there.”

“Yes, and with me there too. Perhaps it would be best if you rode in alone and I rode out tomorrow.”

“Coward.”

“It’s not that. I don’t want to complicate things.”

“All right, but stay a short distance away at least in case things don’t go well. I may have to come back to you and go to town. At least give me that back-up plan.”

“I’ll stay back by the barn.”

“Thank you.”

When they got there, Adam dismounted by the barn and motioned for Regan to ride ahead which she did. As she approached the house, Candy tipped his hat. He was sitting on the porch of the bunkhouse and wondered what would happen next. Hoss came out when he heard a rider and the look on his face was a mixture of joy, shock, and anger.

“You came back.”

“Adam brought me back.”

“Adam?”

“Yes, he found me in Tucson and told me what a fool I was. He said I should come back here to try to fix the mess I made of things. I wanted to come back but didn’t think you would ever forgive me. He said to give you the chance, and even if you didn’t, the children needed to have their mother around.”

“They do, but this time, you’re gonna hafta make some changes. Ifn I tell you to do something, you’re gonna hafta do it. No more whining and complaining like you’re too good to do things any wife would do.”

“Yes, Hoss.”

“You’re gonna dress like a proper wife too. I’m tired of trying to control my temper all the time and hiding how I feel about how men stare at you. I’m the only one got the right to do that.”

“You’re right.”

“We’re gonna talk too, and you’re gonna tell me why you left. I ain’t listening to no sorry excuses neither. We need the truth between us.”

“We do.”

“You’ve changed.”

“I think I finally grew up.”

“Where’s Adam now?”

“He’s waiting by the barn. I asked him to wait in case things didn’t go well. I wasn’t sure I could be forgiven after all I did.”

By the barn, Adam sighed knowing he couldn’t leave at that point. He was going to have to at least talk to Hoss. It was one of the conversations he most dreaded.

“You go in the house now. Luke and Jessie will want to see you. It’s almost dinner, but I don’t think Hop Sing will mind setting another place.”

Hoss walked toward the barn then and around the corner to see his brother standing there waiting for him. Adam didn’t look like someone who was sorry for not writing and making their father suffer for years. Hoss’ temper grew.

“You hiding here instead of coming in and apologizing to Pa for not writing?”

“I’m not hiding. I’m going back to town. I have someone to meet there. I’ll come out tomorrow and see about talking with Pa to see what he has to say to me. I guess I’ll meet the brother who took my place too.”

“I got a question for ya before ya go. Did ya sleep with her on the way back?”

By then, Hoss was standing fairly close to Adam. Candy had walked behind Hoss to see where he was going and witnessed an event he had never suspected could happen. He watched as Adam reared back and rammed a fist into his brother so hard that Hoss staggered back and then landed on his butt in the dirt holding his jaw. Holding his fist which must have hurt, Adam stared at Hoss for a few seconds and then lashed out with his voice.

“Don’t you dare ever say anything like that to me again. You had that coming for years. You say anything like it again, and it’s going to be worse. You need to remember that I’m the one who taught you how to fight.”

With that, Adam mounted up and rode off in the direction of town. Candy walked over and helped Hoss to stand. Staring after the man who had ridden away, he asked Hoss the obvious question.

“So that was your older brother, Adam?”

“Yeah, and I think I told you at least once that it wasn’t a good idea to rile him up none. I guess I forgot my own advice.”

“After what I just witnessed, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“At least my jaw hurt his hand.”

The two snickered a bit at that as they walked back. Candy went to the bunkhouse where the men were interested in hearing what had happened, and Hoss to the house to begin repairing his marriage. He guessed that Regan had some news to share with the family too.

In the house, Ben was clearly shocked by Regan’s sudden appearance, but Hoss told him to sit down. Then he told Joe to pour a couple of brandies.

“Hoss, what happened to your chin?”

“Pa, I got some good news for ya. Now, I think Regan is gonna be able to fill in more than I can say, but that bruise is from Adam. I was rude, and he let me know it.”

“Adam? Adam is outside?”

Ben started to rise but Hoss put a hand on his shoulder. “He rose back to town. Guess he figured there was enough happening here with Regan coming back into our lives. He said he’d be back here tomorrow. Now I gotta go to town and apologize. This ain’t something that I can let rest.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Pa, he said tomorrow, and the way he said it didn’t leave no room for arguing.”

Regan interrupted then. “I think he’s meeting his wife and son in town. I think that’s who he meant when he said he had to meet someone.”

“Adam is married? Why didn’t he ever tell us?”

“There’s a mystery to be solved there. Adam told me that he wrote often. He said when he got married, he sent a package including a photo of him and his wife and son. He doesn’t know why nothing ever got through to you although he said something must have because he got a note from you, a very unpleasant one a couple of years ago.”

“I never sent such a note.”

“Then you have something to discuss tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll talk to you about it.”

“You said he sent a photo of his wife and son when he got married. He had a son before he was married?”

“She did.”

“He married a widow then?”

“He’ll explain tomorrow.”

“Regan, tell us how you and Adam came to meet.”

So, Regan explained the meeting in Tucson, the shootout with El Rojo, and the trip home. The whole family was surprised at Adam’s occupation at first, but it fit with his skills. She talked too about how he was different from the man she had known before.

“He’s still tough and intimidating, but there’s gentle side there that I never saw before and an understanding side too. I thought he would condemn me for what I had done, but he said instead he would bring me back here to fix the mess I had created if I could. I hope I can. I’m going to do everything possible to prove I’ve finally changed too. I left the fancy dresses and makeup in Tucson. I don’t need any of that any more. I finally know it’s what is in the inside that matters.”

“Good, then you stay here with the children. I’m going to town. I got some repair work to do.”

“Yes, Hoss. I think you’re right.”

By the time Hoss was on the road, he guessed he was about a half hour at least behind his older brother. In town, he didn’t see him at first but partially that was because Adam had taken a room, shaved, and changed clothing. He was in a suit and looked more like a businessman than a cowboy or marshal who had ridden hundreds of miles in the past week or so. When Hoss spotted him by his walk, he was heading into the train depot. Hoss followed but the train was almost there, and Hoss didn’t want to interrupt Adam’s reunion with his family. What he saw let him know that his brother had indeed changed and created a new life for himself. A woman and boy descended from the train and headed for Adam who smiled broadly and walked rapidly toward them. The boy ran and jumped into Adam’s arms getting a big hug before Adam set him down and turned to his wife.

Reaching for Connie, Adam cupped her cheek with his hand as he gazed at her with a smile. She reached up and grasped his wrist looking up into his eyes. There was no impropriety yet Hoss thought it was the most intimate embrace he had ever seen with a couple in public. There was no doubt of the love between the two. The boy leaned against Adam’s leg and stared up into the sky clearly embarrassed by his parents’ show of emotion even as restrained as it was. When the two pulled apart, Adam let his hand trail down his wife’s neck and across her bosom. She frowned and slapped his hand away, but Hoss noted that she didn’t do that until he had touched all that he had planned to touch. And there was a smile under that frown that showed she didn’t mean it. Adam laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist as he took his son’s hand.

“I’ve got adjoining rooms for us at the hotel. From the looks of the luggage you brought, we’ll need the extra room just for that.”

“I had to bring clothes for you too.”

“I know. I only thought to tease a bit. I have missed you so much.”

“Papa, I’ll stay in the room with the luggage.”

“It’s all right, Samuel. You can have your own room with your luggage. I was only teasing your mother. I have some rocks in your room as well as some paper and pencils.”

“What do you have for me?”

“For you, I have roses and chocolates as well as a present I found for you in Arizona. I think you’ll like it.”

“Do I have chocolates too, Papa?”

“For you, I have donuts from the pastry shop.”

“Oh, I like donuts.”

“I know. Now, let’s go. I want to let you get a chance to relax a bit before dinner.”

Connie knew what that meant, and she looked forward to it too. Her grin let Adam know that his code was understood. Calling to a porter, Adam had him load all the luggage on a cart and follow behind them as they headed to the hotel. There he tipped the man generously and the hotel porter took charge of the luggage to take it to their rooms. Adam knew they had been watched the whole time, but he didn’t want to talk to Hoss at this point. Hoss could wait, but Adam hoped he had learned enough.

As Hoss was getting ready to leave town, Sheriff Roy Coffee hailed him. Hoss was surprised by that but not by what Roy had to say. Adam had stopped in his office briefly to notify him that he was in town. As a marshal, it was his duty to tell local law enforcement when he was in their jurisdiction.

“Hoss, I got to say my jaw dropped nearly to the floor. I surely never expected that. Did you know he was wearing a badge?”

“No, Roy, until today, we didn’t know it either. Apparently, he’s quite good at it too. He’s in charge of this whole region.”

“Well, that’s our boy, ain’t it. He always does things up right. I saw him go to the hotel with a lady and a boy. Is that his wife and son?”

“Yes, it is. He’ll be heading out to the Ponderosa tomorrow. They’ll take a break in town tonight.”

Roy was at least polite enough not to ask why. Hoss bid him good day and headed home. Soon enough, Roy would find out that Regan was back too, but Hoss didn’t need to answer any more questions right now. Hoss had enough on his mind wondering if Regan was as changed as she seemed to be. For now, he was going to be guarded around her because he couldn’t afford to let her hurt him like she had already. At the Ponderosa, Hoss found Regan sitting with both children and talking about what they had done when she had been gone. Neither child wanted to let her go anywhere without them. Ben talked to Hoss when he came in.

“Their fear of abandonment is going to take some time to overcome, but she’s doing a good job of dealing with it right now.”

“You think she’s really changed, Pa?”

“I don’t know, Hoss, but she certainly seems different.”

“She does.”

“But you don’t trust her. Trust will have to be rebuilt, and it’s going to take time. Without it, love won’t grow. But, yes, I do think it seems she has changed.”

“Good. Maybe now we can build a life together.”

“Did you talk with Adam?”

“No, but I saw him with his wife and son. Pa, he looked so happy when he was with them. I don’t think I ever saw him so glad to be with someone. When they went off to the hotel, they looked like they belonged together. I couldn’t interrupt. I think he saw me, but he didn’t want to talk to me. He only had eyes for her and the boy.”

“She got inside those walls of his.”

“Pa, maybe he ain’t got no walls any more. The way he acted wasn’t like what I expected when he was here or what I saw in town.”

“That’s good, isn’t it? You look worried.”

“Pa, he’s mad at us for some reason, and I think Regan told us why. He got a letter from you only he wasn’t really from you. I hope he brings it along so we can see it. There’s a mystery here that we got to figure out.”

“I’m afraid I already have some ideas about that. The only letter I can recall writing that said I didn’t need someone here was to Cole Washington.”

Hoss frowned. “But that don’t make any sense.”

Joe added more. “Pa, Cole Washington is trying to have Adam declared legally dead so he can have his assets from their partnership.” Joe snapped his fingers. “And Cole Washington heads the bank that was supposed to let us know if Adam sent any communication through the bank to us. He never did.”

“Yes, something is going on that we don’t see. Joe, tomorrow morning, early, could you go in and alert Roy to all of this and let him get started on checking on things. I’m going to write another letter to the bank and have Candy take it to Carson City to post it. We need to find out more than we know.”

The next morning, Joe was back before Adam arrived with Connie and Samuel. The introductions were a bit stiff at first until Jamie asked Samuel if he wanted to go to the barn to see a new colt. Connie suggested that she and Regan could have coffee or tea together so that the men could talk. Adam nodded and walked with his father, Hoss, and Joe into the house. Ben began the conversation before Adam could say anything.

“For years, we thought you weren’t writing to us. We worried about you. Now we have learned that you were writing and even sent a package. We received nothing. Now that is curious. Even with the worst delivery, something should have come through. Joe went to town to alert Roy to the situation and get an investigation started.”

“I sent a few telegrams too. When I got married, I sent one. That’s one example. When I got back to New York from England, I sent one. I knew of ships that had sunk in storms and wanted you to know I wasn’t on any one of those.”

“I’m sure Roy will check into that too. Now Regan mentioned a nasty letter you got claiming that Jamie had replaced you. I only ever wrote one note like that only it wasn’t to you. It was to Cole Washington when Jamie began working with me on the ledgers.”

“Cole Washington! I invested in a small timber operation with him. It was in California. He pushed and pushed and after I checked into it, I agreed to do that.”

“He’s petitioned to have you declared legally dead so he can sell that property and keep all the profits.”

“That’s ridiculous. We got all the profits we were ever going to get from that property years ago. It was logged out. It will take years before it’s worth anything again.”

Ben sat back then and frowned as did Joe and Hoss. None of them could make sense of why Cole wanted Adam declared legally dead then.

“My broker could have sold it and put the funds in my accounts. There was no reason for Cole to wait if he got a good offer. In fact, there’s no reason for him to have me declared legally dead. My broker could sell any property like that and invest the money for me per the instructions I left or put it in my accounts.”

“Adam, Cole is your broker, isn’t he?”

“No, I still have the same broker I had for years.”

“I’m sure that Cole told me and Amelia that he was handling your investments too.”

“How could that be? Franklin didn’t die or something, did he?”

“No, he’s in fine health. Adam, I prayed every day that you were safe, and that you would come home. I adopted Jamie because he needed a home and a family to love him. He loves us. Now I have four sons. I’m sure you feel that way about Samuel. He’s your son and he loves you as you love him. If you have another child, it won’t change your love for Samuel or the love you have for the new child.”

“Funny you should mention that.” Adam thought back to the previous afternoon as he and Connie got a chance to get reacquainted. Samuel was busy in his room with his new rocks and his paper and pencils for drawing. Connie wondered if they should be so intimate when they only had an hour and they had the whole night to be together. Adam had reassured her.

“There’s now, and there’s later too. I’ve missed you enough for both.”

“You can be insatiable sometimes.”

“I could say the same for you, and I notice you’re not disagreeing with me.”

“No, I want you as much as you want me.”

“We keep doing this and we’re bound to have a baby. You ready for that?”

“I better be.”

Kissing and nuzzling her neck, Adam suddenly paused and picked up his head to look into her eyes. She was smiling.

“Really?”

“Yes, I wanted to tell you sooner, but I wasn’t going to tell you just before you headed to Tucson. You didn’t need that on your mind. I knew you needed to focus on your job. This is soon enough.”

“When?”

“Oh, about five months or so, I think.”

Making love had never been so sweet for them. Adam had to share the news with his family now that the lack of communication was found to be the result of an outside force and they had a good idea of who that force was. What they didn’t know was why.

 

Chapter 10

With that good news in mind and with the news that Cole had hidden his correspondence from his family, Adam began to share stories of his travels and then of his job. In turn, Hoss, Ben, and Joe told stories about what had happened on the ranch and in the family while he was gone. Many of the stories told were going to have to be further explained in the future, but everyone was in need of some general ideas of the lives led by the others. By lunchtime, there was considerable progress being made in bringing the whole family up to date on what had happened in their lives in all the time they had been separated.

Late in the afternoon, Roy arrived with some news. He asked to speak with all of them. “I got one of the employees from the postal station in my jail. Now nobody knows he’s there. I’m keeping it quiet. He was taking every letter that Adam sent in and every letter sent to him and bringing them all to Cole Washington.”

Ben was livid. “Roy, this is bizarre. Why was the man doing this to us?”

“I don’t know, Ben. Adam, you got any ideas?”

“I’m beginning to get some suspicions, but I think I need an auditor to be sure. Can we get a state bank auditor here?”

“I could ask for one if you could tell me on what grounds to ask for the search warrant.”

So, Adam began to explain what he thought might have happened. With his experience in law enforcement and his study of law, it was the only scenario that made sense to him. When he finished explaining it, it made sense to the others as well. It was a devious plot, but not that hard to do.

“I’m sure Franklin will cooperate. But to get to the bank records, we’re going to need that search warrant and the auditor.”

“Adam, I think you’re right, but I also think you’re the best one to explain all of that to a judge. As a marshal, a judge is gonna listen to you too. Will you go with me to the judge’s chambers to lay this all out for him?”

“I will.”

When the auditor walked into the bank a few days later, Cole Washington wanted to deny him access to records that he said were confidential investment records. The search warrant he had said there were no confidential records at that bank, and there was a sheriff and a U.S. Marshal there to enforce the search warrant and to make sure that Washington didn’t leave. By the end of the day, the auditor laid a sheet on the desk and told Adam to take a look.

“All of that?”

“Yes, all of the money from Adam Cartwright’s investment accounts was shifted into that partnership account and then used to buy all of these other investments most notably all of these shares of the Virginia and Truckee Railroad. Although a couple of the investments failed, the success of the rest of them means that the total return on investment is over one thousand per cent.”

“Legally, the money is in a partnership account. Does that mean that the partners share equally?”

“It would, except the money was fraudulently put into that account when it belonged in Adam Cartwright’s accounts. Therefore, I would assume that the courts would order all the money given to Adam Cartwright except for the value of what was originally owned by the partnership.”

Cole was upset. “But that’s not fair. I did all of the investing. I figured out how to make all the money.”

Adam’s voice was cold. “Taking risks with my money without my permission. That’s not legal, Mister Washington. For that, you get to go to prison.”

“Who’s going to take care of my daughter? Have you thought about that? She has no one else.”

Looking at Roy, Adam shrugged. He had no answer. Roy did because he had seen the girl around town and guessed what she would like to do.

“Seems to me she’s pretty sweet on that Simmons boy. All we got to do is let nature take its course, and she’ll be taken care of right well.”

“You can’t let her marry him. He’s not good enough for her.”

“You trying to say the son of a shopkeeper isn’t good enough for the daughter of an embezzler and a forger who’s soon to be an inmate in the state prison?” Roy didn’t smirk nearly as well as his friend Adam, but managed well enough under the circumstances.

After Roy took Cole off to the jail, Adam got copies of the records from the auditor so he could take them to Hiram Woods and begin the process of recovering his investments which were considerably larger than they had been. He returned to the hotel to inform Connie that they were wealthier than they had ever been.

“So, you don’t need to work as a marshal any longer.”

“I don’t need to work for financial reasons. That’s true.”

“You want to work though.”

“I enjoy the work and I feel that I’m making a difference. I have been offered a job in the state government here. I may take that.”

“Not the judgeship?”

“Too many conflicts of interest unless I go to another part of the country. No, if I want to stay in the west, it’s the marshals service or working in state government.”

“Where will we live?”

“We can live on the Ponderosa, but closer to Carson City. Is that all right with you?”

“I like it, and I think your father will like that too.”

“Where I’ve chosen to live and work won’t be his first choices, but he’ll need to accept them as reasonable.”

“He seems like he’s ready to try. What about Hoss? Have the two of you patched up your relationship?”

“As well as we probably ever will. We live separate lives now after all that happened. We will never be as close as we once were.”

“Have you given up too easily on that?”

“Maybe, but I don’t see how that will ever change.”

“You and Jamie are getting on well.”

“He’s a smart kid. He doesn’t mind me calling him kid. Unlike Joe. I need to curb that habit of thinking of him that way. He’s got more gray hair than I do unless I grow my beard out. Then I have more.” He saw the look on her face and grinned. “I won’t do it though, because I know how much it irritates your skin. And I do like kissing you so anything that interferes with that is something I won’t do.”

“Will we have a house before the baby arrives?”

“Not on the Ponderosa. We’ll have to rent something if we can while I finish up with my marshal’s duties and then take on the new job. The good news is that we have plenty of money to do that without worries.”

“Do you feel good about being back near your family?”

“In some ways, yes. I like being able to talk with them and see what is happening and knowing what is going on with their lives.”

“But something is missing?”

“Yes, it’s like I’m not really part of the family any more. I feel more like a visitor, a welcome one, but not part of the family like the others are.”

“You were gone a long time.”

“You’re saying it may take time.”

Connie shrugged. There was nothing else she could offer. Adam had been back less than a week, and she thought perhaps his expectations had been too great.

“I guess I had hoped for a warmer homecoming, but with everything that Cole had done, it poisoned the well, didn’t it?”

“Yes. Perhaps, we could start over now. We could go out today or tomorrow and try again now that all of this is out of the way. You know your father never rejected you. They know you were writing to them all along. Samuel needs to get to know the rest of his family.”

There was a knock at their door then. From the heavy tread in the hallway and the hard knock, Adam guessed it would be Hoss and opened the door to find the big man standing there with his hat in his hand.

“I came to apologize for how I’ve acted toward you. Back all those years ago, I let jealousy affect my judgment and I was real wrong. I did the same when you brought Regan back to me. I hope you can forgive me. I try not to be so jealous, but it ain’t worked so well so far. I hope to do better.”

“I’m sorry I hit you.”

“No, I’m not. I had it coming, and well, it sorta evened the scales up some, didn’t it? Now, the second thing is, I was wondering ifn you and your family would come to stay on the Ponderosa. It sure would make Pa real happy and the rest of us too. We need to all get to know each other better, and being together more out there would make that a lot easier to do, dontcha think?”

“Is there enough room?”

“Me and Regan and the children are going back to our house. It may look a bit messy on the outside, but inside, it’s been kept up. It won’t take long at all to have things all ready for us. Once we’re there, there’ll be more than enough room for your family at the house. How about it?”

After Adam looked over at Connie who nodded, he agreed. “We’ll pack everything up and be out there in the morning. How’s that?”

“Sounds real good. Me and Joe will bring in the big carriage and a wagon to bring you and your stuff out to the ranch after we take my stuff over to my house. Pa’s hoping we can all have dinner together, you know, and kinda make it a celebration of the family being whole again. It’s gonna be a good day tomorrow.”

It was a good day, and so were the days immediately following it. Adam got to spend time with his father and brothers getting to know Jamie and sharing what he had done for the years he had been gone. Joe joked that Jamie had a serious case of hero worship after almost a week of that kind of storytelling. There was one day that Adam had to be in town to testify against Cole Washington. That didn’t take long as the evidence against him was so overwhelming. He sat in the jail awaiting the prison wagon that would take him to prison to begin serving the first year of a twenty-year sentence. Cole swore in court that he would get even with those who got him sentenced to spend most if not all the rest of his life behind prison walls. For some reason, Cole was most angry with Regan complaining that she was the main reason his whole plan fell apart. He swore he would kill her when he had the chance.

No one took him seriously because he was locked up and was going to be locked away for twenty years. All of that changed a few days after the trial ended and Cole was riding toward prison when the prison wagon overturned on a muddy road. The driver was severely injured and the guard was knocked unconscious. Cole called out to the driver.

“C’mon, unlock the door. You need us to help you. We’ll die in here with no food and no water. None of us was sentenced to die.”

Faced with his own likely demise with no help and knowing that the guard needed medical care, the driver did unlock that door. However, Cole and the others did nothing to help them. Instead, they went looking for the horses that had broken free of the traces hoping to find them and ride away. Cole didn’t find one, but the other two did. He swore vehemently as he watched them ride away. Going back to the overturned wagon, he took the guards weapons and extra ammunition. Looking around, he found a canteen with some water and took that. Then he began to walk out of the area despite the entreaties of the driver to help him and the guard. Cole was on a mission and nothing was going to stop him. The rain that had made the road muddy and facilitated his escape returned. He smiled because no one would be able to track him, he wouldn’t run out of water, and it would make it easier to steal clothing and a horse.

The next morning, Hoss rode to the main house to talk over the work schedule with Candy and Joe. Adam planned to spend the day with Ben and Jamie talking about contracts. All froze when they heard the rifle shots followed by one pistol shot.

“That’s my house.”

Hoss was running to his horse before the others had even processed what he had said. Then they were heading that way as well with Adam driving the carriage after him. The others raced to saddle their horses. Hoss got to the yard of his home and his heart nearly stopped. There in the yard lay Regan with her shawl laying across her and her bonnet covering most of her hair.

“So, you came alone. It’s for the best. No one else has to die because they got in the way then.”

“Where are my children?
“Safe and sound and quite happy to go with me when I told them to jump into the well.”

“You bastard!” But then the way Cole laughed made Hoss reconsider. “You’re just saying that because you could see it made me upset.”

“All the easier to accomplish what I said I would do. Now where is the rest of that pesky family of yours. They should be here by now.”

“They are.” Adam stepped onto the porch of Hoss’ home behind Cole as Joe stepped up to the porch from the side and Ben from the opposite corner of the house.

“You’ll be dead before you can squeeze that trigger if you don’t drop it now.”

Adam’s voice was cold and hard. There was no doubting what he said. His finger was already pressing on the trigger of his pistol because he believed he was going to have to kill this man. He had to do it too as Cole moved to shoot Hoss. Clearly he was not going to let anyone hang him. When the smoke cleared, Hoss dropped to his knees by the body and pulled her into his arms only to find that it was Amelia Miller and not Regan. He lowered the body and looked up in shock.

“Where’s Regan?” Then he called her name loudly. “Regan. Come on out. He’s dead. Cole is dead.”

From the root cellar, Regan emerged with the children and rushed to Hoss. She began sobbing and Luke and Jessie were already crying.

“Amelia heard Cole outside and grabbed my shawl and bonnet. She told us to run out the back and hide in the cellar. She said she would distract him long enough so we could hide. Oh, Hoss, when I heard those shots, I knew what he had done.”

“Amelia saved you. Your sister did love you.”

The next day, they buried Amelia by the lake. As they walked away, Adam put a hand on Hoss’ shoulder.

“It will be a long time before we forget that one. She was one of a kind.”

“She sure was. She was a brave woman. After all the words between her and Regan, in the end, she showed true love for her sister.”

“I guess that bond is never lost.”

“Nope. It never is.” Hoss wrapped an arm around Adam’s shoulders and they walked back to the house once more at peace with each other.

 

Tags: Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, brothers, Family, Hoss Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright