Synopsis: When Ben and Hoss are said to be dead, Adam and Joe must deal with their feelings and the feelings of each other. Can the two brothers pull together and make it work, or will their first Christmas without their Pa, be the last for both brothers.
Rating: PG-13
Words:  5,200

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Home For Christmas

By: Stephy Lynn

 

Eleven year old Joseph Cartwright sat on the settee with his twenty-three year old brother. He tried not to cry. Keeping the tears of shock and horror in. Adam’s head in his hands, shaking it as if this couldn’t be true.

Then Joe thought for a moment ‘but it was’. It was all true, his father and big brother were dead. Now it was just Joe and Adam.

The two that could never get along, the two that could never seem to understand one another. The two that Hoss had always stood between in fights and told both of them that they were brothers and they loved each other. Then there was pa. How could he be gone? It wasn’t fair, they had already lost so much in their lives. Three mothers, a few close friends, and now this. Their father. That thought alone made Joe want to break down and sob in his older brother’s arms.

For as long as Adam could remember, his father and brother had always been there to back him up one hundred precent. They had always made it clear where they stood with Adam. Letting him know in their own little way how much he was loved. Adam’s heart broke the second their friend, Sheriff Roy Coffee, had come into the house along with Doctor Paul Martin and Ben’s lawyer John Hickman. He knew something bad had to have happened, other wise John wouldn’t have been there. Sheriff Coffee had handed Adam a slip of paper from Sacramento stating that they were sorry to regret but his father and brother had been killed.

“Adam, John wants ta talk to ya ’bout yer pa’s will,” Roy said. Adam looked up at John Hickman, a man who he had come to know so well. He had graying hair and soft blue eyes. Joe cared about the Cartwright family, and was always there to help in some way.

“Why, what does it say?” He asked, slightly alarmed that his baby brother would be taken away from him or something. ‘No that won’t happen, I won’t allow it,’ Adam thought. If it was the last thing to happen in this world Adam would die before anyone would take his baby brother off this land and put him somewhere else.

“Adam you are, of course, of legal age to run this ranch. But the boy, he needs a stable home, and he still needs school. Your father’s wish was to keep you boys together, but also make sure you were each schooled until you were each at least sixteen. Joe is not yet sixteen, and he can’t stop school to help you on the ranch, your father wants him to finsh school. He needs it anyway. We thought ,maybe, it would be a good idea to send the boy to a boarding school for a few years, at least until you’ve got everything under control here,” John hesitantly suggested. Adam scowled and gazed down the settee at his baby brother who looked scared to death.

“Get out,” Adam said, in a calm unnearving voice that Ben had always used when about to tan one of his sons for misbehaving. Joe looked at his older brother, then at the three men standing before them.

“Adam…” Roy began. However Adam did not let him finsh, he pointed to the door.

“I said GET OUT of my house NOW!” Adam yelled making it perfectly clear that they were no longer welcome in this house,” the three men bowed their heads and quickly left, but Paul stopped at the door.

“Adam, make sure you two eat something. You both need your strength, it won’t do anyone; your father, your brother, or this ranch any good if you two starve yourselves to death,” with that Paul left shutting the door behind him. Adam put his arms againt the door and tried to control his rampid emotions that he had been fighting to keep in check since he had first heard about the death of his father and younger brother. However, he could not control them, there was a new pain, a new empty spot that needed to be filled by an overly large seventeen year old boy with a kind smile and a gentle touch, and a older man who had kind words, hard hands and tough ways.

The sob from his baby brother tore at his heart. He could hear the boy’s tears coming from his eyes as if it was pouring rain. He turned from the door and looked at the small form of his brother, the boy’s shoulders quaking with heart wrenching sobs. Joe looked at Adam and saw the older man hold his arms out to Joe, bracing himself for the small whirlwind he called Joe to run into his arms sobbing. That was exactly what happened. Joe blindly ran to his brother’s arms. The two brothers remained in each other’s arms for most of the night, just crying for what had been lost, what had once been, and what would come.

Adam knew it was true, his brother couldn’t and wouldn’t stop school, however Adam couldn’t very well run this ranch without help. Quickly he threw that thought from his mind at the moment, right now he had to think about how the two of them would get through this night, then they would worry about the next, then the one after that. Adam wasn’t even sure how he was going to make it through any day without his father by his side making those diffcult choices that Adam hated making.

Finally after what seeemed like three years but was only three hours, Joe’s sobs softened to a gentle whimper. Adam continued to hold him, knowing they would have to get some sleep pertty soon.

“Joe, its been a long day, I know school wasn’t so hot either, why don’t we head off to bed,” he whispered. Joe looked up at his brother.

“Please I don’t wanna be alone,” Adam could understand that, he didn’t want to be alone either, he wanted to hold his brother forever. He knew that as long as he held Joseph in his arms then his little brother would be safe from the dangers in this world. The dangers which had taken all of his mothers, and now his father and his little brother.

“Neither do I Joe, Neither do I,” with that Adam and Joe slowly made their way up to their rooms. Adam remained by Joe’s side as the boy got dressed for bed. Joe did the same while Adam got ready for bed. They both looked at their own beds and quickly decided that they wanted to be close to their father. Together the two brothers climbed into their father’s bed, hoping to find some release from the sarrow that had grabbed ahold of them only hours ago. Hoping to find some sense out of what had happened. Trying to comfort that heart breaking, mind numbing, soul shattering empty space that had been torn away when they had been told that half their family was dead. Now the other half had to survive for the rest of their lives alone with just each other.

There was complete silence, both knew the other was awake, but neither wanted to say anything in fear the other might begin to cry again. It was a silence so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Just then Joe whispered the saddest, and most pitiful, heart shattering thing anyone could ever say.

“I wish I could have gotten a chance to say goodbye,” Adam tried to choke back a sob, he could hear his younger brother trying to do the same.

 

Adam slowly awoke, for a moment he felt good, then he looked around and everything sank back in. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of their lives. Would Little Joe and Adam wake up and have to remember the horrible news, or was it just the first few years. Would anything ever be the same again.

‘God please help me make some sense of this,’ Adam thought. He looked over at his sleeping brother. Unsure if he should wake him or not. Adam didn’t want to be alone, and he knew Joe would probably become frightened if someone wasn’t there to greet him, and since Adam and Hop Sing were the only two left then that probably ment Adam would be the one in charge of keeping his little brother together, but how? How was Adam suppose to keep a little boy together, make him understand why this happened when Adam could even answer the same questions that kept repeating in his mind like a broken record player.

“Little Joe, buddy, its time to wake up,” he whispered. Joe opened his eyes and from what Adam saw in the boy’s eyes he experinced the same thing, for a few seconds he was at home and happy, but then he realized it wasn’t home anymore, not without Hoss and his father. Joe looked up with tears in his eyes.

“Are they really gone Adam?” He asked in a sad voice.

“Yeah buddy, they’re really gone,” he whispered. He knew today would be even harder than yesterday.

“I miss them so much Adam, so much,” he whispered as Adam took him in his strong arms and rocked him back and forth.

“I know buddy, so do I.”

“Please Adam, don’t make me go to school today,” he begged. Adam sighed, the last thing he planned on doing was sending this young boy to school. No the boy would not leave Adam’s side once today. Not once.

“Oh little boy, you don’t ever have to go to school again. I promise, I’ll take care of you. Not today though, things must be done today. You will learn what you must, but not until we have time to heal,” he whispered. Hoping to give Joe some type of release from that which he had been broken away from.

After breakfast Joe and Adam slowly and soberly rode into town. They were met by looks of pity.

“Keep your head high little buddy, remember what Pa always taught as, as long as we live, we are Cartwrights and that is something to be proud of, now more than ever,” he whispered to the young boy. Joe nodded and like his older brother the two rode high and tough in their saddles. They rode up to the Sherriff’s office.

“Morning boys, how’s it going?” He asked sadly. Adam had come more to apologize for his behavior yesterday, he wasn’t himself, and he knew that the three men all felt for the boys. They would miss Ben too.

“Morning Roy, we’re hanging in there, aren’t we Joe,” he said. He felt his younger brother reach out and grip his own hand.

Oh how frail this child was. Would he be quiet from now on.

“Listen Roy, I’m sorry about the way I acted last night,” he began, Roy held his hand up.

“No apologyy nessecary Adam, I know you were acting in accordance to your father, he’d be mighty proud of ya Adam, and you too Little Joe.”

“Thank you Roy, that makes us feel better. We should be going, there are things to do, uh, we’d like to have a service on Sunday, we of course want you there.”

“I’ll be there Adam, you take care now, ya hear,” he said as Adam and Little Joe left. Once they were gone, Roy shook his head sadly. This was going to be a tough time for Adam and Joe. They would be relying mainly on each other when not that they would need their close friends to get them through the long lonely days.

Sunday came all to quickly for the two brothers. Both were hoping that by some act of God their father and middle brother would come walking through that door laughing. Then Hoss would slam the door shut and start talking about how hungry he was. That Ben would give them both a hug.

However as Adam and Joe sat staring at the food in front of them that had once been so wonderful they realized that it would not happen. Joe would never be able to tell his father or brother just how deeply he loved them. Never again would he be able to make a comment about Hoss’ weight. Never again would he feel his father’s wrath for disobeying him then the loving arms wrap around him once it was over.

Joe longed to feel something from his father or brother, even if it wasn’t a kind something. Just something.

Adam felt the same way. As the days went by he knew it was getting harder than the day before. Niether were eating well if at all. They would continue to stare at the two empty chairs at the table as if willing Ben and Hoss to appear. Or the door as if trying to make it open to reveal their father and brother.

Sunday was a beautiful afternoon. the sun was shining, and the birds sinigng, but the faces were solemn During the entire cermony Joe and Adam clung to each other’s hands, trying to draw the strength from each other. Trying to give the other some little bit of comfort that might be left. Adam and Joe couldn’t tell you what happened, they didn’t remember shaking everyone’s hands as they left to go home. Or that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. They had placed the tombstones by Marie’s. It needn’t be disscussed, both knew the other would have it no other way.

 

Days turned into months, and soon two. Winter was upon them, and Adam and Joe were up to their necks in work. Joe had not gone back to school, he continued working on the ranch with his older brother. However he was not the same bright jovial little boy Adam had once known. If Adam didn’t know better the boy was doing exactly what Adam had done while growing up on the trail.

Joe had become hard faced and serious. He didn’t pull little pranks anymore.

He got up at dawn and worked till dusk every night, went to church every Sunday. He worked as hard if not harder than his brother Adam. When he was not working he would be studying, trying to learn what his brother had. Nights were now spent in the living room, reading, often nothing more. They would still go to sleep in Ben’s bed but Adam knew that at some point his now twelve year old brother would go back to his own room.

Adam too had changed, he had taken the spot his father had once occupied. He made sure to get along with his younger brother. They worked well together, although Adam was sure it was because that neither could function without the other. They needed to feal the closeness. To know that someone was still there for them. Adam was glad that he no longer had to discipline the young man before him. Though there were many nights Adam would lie awake next to his younger brother longing for those days when he had shouted at his brother Joe for riding into the yard to fast, or for dumping a pile of hay on top of him. He wanted to be able to go to his father for his problems, but now he was solving the problems and listening to Joe when he had a problem.

Soon it was December, and although the pain was still there and it still was eating a hole in the hearts of the two Cartwright boys, but they continued on, trying to last each day, knowing it would be the way their father and brother would want it. Joe was becoming less like the old Joe and more and more like his eldest brother had been before Ben and Hoss had died. Adam was also becoming more and more like his father. Everyone had been watching the Cartwrights change slowly. The past three months had seemed like three years. Little Joe was still reading a lot, trying to keep himself busy to get his mind off the pain he was going through.

Slowly Joe walked into the barn, he looked around and smiled for the first time in a long time, thinking about how much fun he and his brothers had alway had. He walked over to his horse Paint and smiled gently at her.

“Hi girl, Christmas is coming soon, won’t be the same without Pa and Hoss. I miss ’em so much, I just wish I could tell them I love them and say goodbye,” he said sadly.

“So do I Joe,” Adam said walking in the barn. He held out his left hand for his little brother to take.

“Why don’t we go inside, its getting a little cold out here,” he whispered. Joe looked down at the hand and gladly took it.

“Adam, promise me something,” he said before they could leave the warmer shelter of the barn.

“Anything buddy,” he said. Joe looked up at him with his sad teary green eyes.

“You’ll always be here for me,” he whispered. Adam knelt down the the boy’s eye level.

“Joseph, I can’t promise you that I will always be there, just like pa couldn’t, I can’t hold the world still just so I can help you, and I can’t promise you that everything will always go your way. However I can promise you one thing, for as long as I live and as long as you live, I will always try to be there for you, to help you through the good times and the bad, because remember what pa always said about family.”

“Its the only one ya got, be proud of your heritage,” Joe said. Nodding Adam reached down and lifted Joe into his arms. Together the two made it back into the large warm ranch house. Joe placed his head on Adam’s shoulder and sighed.

“Adam, how are we gonna make it through this Christmas?” He asked. Adam sighed.

“To be honest Joe, I’m not real sure. I’m about to tell ya something I wouldn’t tell anyone else.”

“What?”

“I’m afraid. Like you I wanna feel safe again with Pa running this ranch, but it’s up to us now Joe, Pa isn’t here, but if he were, well he’d be mighty proud of you, both of us I would think.”

“If pa were here, I would be at school,” he whispered.

“Joe, you can go back if you’d like,” Adam said. Joe looked at him.

“What about you and this ranch?”

“We’ve got plenty of men to work this ranch, you’ll only be gone till two, I think we can fend for ourselves. Would you like to go back to school after Christmas?”

“Yeah, I would, may I?” He asked. Adam smiled, it wasn’t often Joe ever asked to go to school.

“Of course little buddy. Joe I don’t want you to be unhappy, if you want it then you can have it.”

“Can I think about college?” He asked. Adam smiled, his chest swelling with pride.

“Why don’t we get through school first, then we’ll see.”

“I think I’ll go to sleep now. Good night Adam I love you,” he said getting off his brother’s lap.

“You sleeping in your own bed Little Joe?” Joe stopped and thought for a minute.

“No, I think I’ll sleep in Hoss’, is that okay?” He asked.

“Sure buddy, whatever helps you,” He said. Nightmares had always been normal for Little Joe, and for the past three months they had seemed to only get worse. He would sometimes wake up crying out for his father, only to find that his Pa was gone. Adam had to admit he had been having his share of nightmares lately too.

Joe slowly walked into Hoss’ room and instantly thought about his big brother.

***********************

Hoss had been sitting by the water, just watching the birds fly by, when suddenly he felt a shower of cold water down upon his head and face. When he looked up he saw his nine year old baby brother standing above him holding a bucket and laughing. Adam was not far away, he too was laughing.

“Why you little varmint!” Hoss yelled. He reached out for his little brother catching him by the arm he began to swing him, soon Adam joined in and on the count of three the two launched their brother into the water.

Adam yelled as he too was met with cold water in his face. Joe had splashed him and was giggling now. Both older brothers dove in after Little Joe and soon it was a water war between the three of them.

Ben slowly rode towards the lake and sighed as he saw his three sons playing in the water.

“Pa help!” Adam yelled. He was laughing so hard his face was turning bright red. Ben had to admit it was nice to see the three boys playing again.

Joe seemed to be winning the water war, having smaller arms gave him some advantages and some disadvantages, but still he was laughing. They all were.

“Oh No Adam, you guys got yourselves into it, I don’t plan on ruining Little Joe’s fun now!” Ben yelled from the bank. Joe smiled.

“Thanks Pa!” He yelled back as he continued the fight. Finally the sun began to set and the three brothers slowly made their way out of the lake. All soaked but not caring.

“Had a good day?” Ben asked. Joe put his pants on and wrapped his still slightly wet arms around his father. Ben smiled down at the small boy.

“This was a great day pa, can we do it again tomorrow?” He asked. Ben smiled.

“No son, I’m afraid not. You and Adam are leaving for Carson City remember?” He asked. Joe nodded. He was looking foreward to spending some time with Adam alone.

******************************

Little had Joe known that he would be spending the rest of his life with just Adam. It still didn’t seem real, and it had been close to four months now.

Joe slowly climbed into bed and began to think of other good times he had, had with his brothers and father. He wished more than anything that he could go back in time and relive everything. Slowly the tears began to fall again, as thoughts ran through his mind, thoughts of his father and brother. Christmas would never be the same again without them.

******************************

In Reno about Midnight

Ben lay on the hotel bed sighing, he wanted nothing more than to send a telegraph to the boys, letting them know they were okay, but the lines were all down.

“Pa, do you think Joe and Adam are okay, we’ve been gone a long time,” Hoss said as he climbed into bed.

“I hope so son.”

“I can’t wait to get home,” he whispered. Thinking about Hop Sing’s good food.

“Yeah well lets just consider ourselves lucky that we got out of Texas alive, those Rancheros were none too kind to let us go,” Ben sighed as he covered up.

“Pa, how long do you ‘spose it’ll take ta get home?” Hoss asked. Ben thought for a moment.

“Week or so,” he said.

“But pa, Christmas is in a week!” Hoss said.

“I know Hoss, but we’ll be home for Christmas I promise. We’ll ride all night if we have to, but we will he home for Christmas,” Ben said with determination.

“Do ya think the lines will be up before then?” Hoss asked.

“No, very doubtful. Go to sleep son, we’ve got a long day ahead of us,” Ben said. Hoss silently nodded and settled down into the bed.

********************************

Little Joe slowly opened his eyes and knew that it had snowed outside. He smiled, then it faded. He had always loved snow. His father had allowed him and his brothers to go sledding when they had been younger.

“Come on little brother!” He heard Adam call from downstairs. Joe sighed and slowly walked downstairs after getting dressed. Adam was smiling.

“There better be a reason we’re up so early,” Joe said. Adam smiled slightly.

“Yep, we’re gonna go get a Christmas tree,” he said. Joe looked at him.

“Adam, I’m really not in the mood,” Joe said sadly.

“Well thats too damn bad. Pa wouldn’t want us wallowing in grief! He’d want us to go on with our lives! He’d want us to be happy. So would Hoss!” He yelled.

“Why shouldn’t I be mad! Pa was wallowing in grief when Pa died! How would you know Pa would want, how can you possibly know! He’s dead!” With that Joe ran out of the room. Adam watched him and silently cursed himself, of course Joe was going to take this hard, the boy had something special with his Pa and Hoss. Now the two people he had always relied on were gone, and he was left with someone who could barely understand him. Adam felt the same way. It was tough knowing that as the eldest brother you had out grown one of your younger brothers. That wasn’t how it was suppose to work, at least thats what Adam thought.

Adam reached over and picked Joe’s jacket and hat from the coat and hat rack and slowly made his way outside. He had a good idea of where Joseph might be. He made his way towards the barn, he could hear muffled sobbing coming up from hayloft. He slowly climbed up the ladder and stopped when his head was just above the platform. There his brother sat starring out the doors, crying his heart out. Adam climbed the rest of the way and then sat down beside his brother.

“You’re right, I don’t know what Pa would want, but I do know that if he were here he’d be telling us that it was important to go on. When ma died, he did have a lot of grief, I remember it all to well, but do you remember the first Christmas after mama died?”

“No.”

“Well about a week or two before he called me and Hoss down and told us to get dressed, because we were gonna go find a Christmas tree, and we would have the best Christmas ever, because it would be one of memories,” Adam said, remembering how good he had felt when he and his family had told Joe stories of his mama that Christmas.

“Okay, we can go look for a Christmas tree,” Joe whispered. Adam placed his arm on Joe’s.

“Little Joe, Pa loved us more than anything in this world, and he wanted us happy no matter what, thats why he made a will that said someone would take care of us until we were capable. If he were here you know what he’d be saying,” Joe looked at Adam, tears still in his eyes and on his face.

“If Pa were here we would have had that tree up weeks ago,” Adam laughed.

“You’re probably right, now why don’t we go get that tree.” Joe nodded and slipped on his jacket and hat. Before walking out of the barn Joe turned around and hugged his older brother.

“Can we stop and say hi to mama and pa and Hoss?” He asked. Adam smiled slightly.

“Sure buddy.”

*****************************

Adam and Joe stood back and blew out all the lights and together they smiled at the beautiful sight of the tree.

“Its beatuiful,” Joe whispered.

“Yeah it sure is.”

****************************

Joe looked at his brother and hugged him goodnight. It was Christmas Eve, and the two brothers had played a few games of checkers and now it was bedtime.

“Adam can I sleep with you tonight, in your bed?” Adam nodded and together the two went upstairs and soon they were fast asleep.

Ben and Hoss slowly pulled their horses to a stop in front of the house.

“Its good to be home,” Hoss said. Ben nodded and the two bedded their horses down for the night. They slowly walked into the dark house. They smiled and at the two stockings on the harth.

“Well, we should get to bed Hoss, we’ll let them know we’re home in the morning.”

They quietly made their way upstairs. Ben opened Little Joe’s room first and saw the bed had not been slept in for awhile. He then opened Adam’s and smiled. There in the bed was Adam and Joe. Joe cuddled tightly against Adam’s long skinny form. His facial features were peaceful. Walking into the room. Ben kissed Joe’s forehead and Adam’s.

He then walked into his own bed and noticed that it had been slept in while he was gone, shrugging he slowly changed and climbed into bed.

As Ben heard the grandfather clock downstairs hit seven, he looked around to see light filtering through the windows, he was sure he would have been awake by now. Getting out of bed he slowly got up and headed downstairs. He smiled as he looked up at the tree.

Joe awoke to what he thought was a sound.

“Adam, someone’s in the house,” he whispered. Adam quickly woke up and listened. He had heard something too. There it was again, the creeking of someone walking in the living room. He pulled his pants on and hurried down stairs. He stopped at the top and gasped when he saw the man standing there looking at the tree. Joe ran into his then got his first look. He reacted before Adam did.

“PAPA!” He yelled as he ran down the stairs and launched himself into Ben’s strong arms.

“Oh, there’s my baby son.” Ben hugged Joe tightly. He could suddenly feel Joe crying into his shoulder.

“What’s wrong Joseph? are you ill?” He felt Joe shake his head no. He then noticed Adam was crying too.

“Adam?” He asked. Adam slowly walked down the stairs and like his brother only more calm, he wrapped his long arms around his father, letting the past three months go. Just then Hoss came down the stairs too.

“What no welcome home little brother,” he said. Adam turned around and quickly hugged Hoss. Hoss, glad to see his big brother also hugged back. Joe was still attached to his father. He looked at Adam hugging Hoss and smiled.

“We thought yous two were dead,” Joe said.

“I’m sorry boys, we tried to wire you, but the lines were down from here to Texas,” he said still holding onto his son.

“Its okay pa, you’re home now, that’s all that matters,” Joe said. Adam smiled and the four stood beside each other.

“Yeah little buddy, we’re a family again and that’s all that matters,” Joe smiled and hugged his brother Hoss. The family looked at the tree and smiled. Joe laid his head on Ben’s shoulder. Then he looked at his brothers.

“Pa,” he said.

“Yes son,” he said. Joe smiled.

“Merry Christmas papa,” he whispered.

“Merry Christmas Little Joe, Merry Christmas to all of you,” he said, pleased to be home again.

THE END

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!