Summary: Jess, George, and Sally left the people they loved, including the Cartwrights. After six long years, Jess has returned to Virginia City, running from the man who forced them out of their homes in the first place: her own father. What will happen when she meets Adam again? Will the memories of their past come rushing back, or will they be forced to face a future without each other?

Rating: K+
Word Count: 22,507

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“Adam!” Ben opened the house’s front door to find his eldest son sitting on the porch.

Adam quickly wiped his face when he heard the door open. “Sorry, Pa, I didn’t hear you.” Ben sat down beside him. After a long time, Adam took a deep breath and lied through his teeth, “I am fine, Pa. There is nothing I can do about it, any of it.”

After a long time, Ben stood and spoke, “When you are ready, Marie was looking for you.”

Adam nodded but headed to the barn. Talking to Arrow always helped him to think. Adam had raised him from a colt. He had a dark brown coat and two white socks on his back legs. His distinguishing marking was, true to his name: an arrow shape on his chest. “Hey, boy.” He stepped into the stall and began to brush Arrow. Halfway through the job, he said, “I just can’t understand. I love her. We make each other so happy. Why can’t Finn see that?” Once he had gathered himself, he headed towards the house. Once inside, he was bombarded by two children, plastering on a smile that almost looked real to them.

“Up?” the tiniest of the two yelled, holding up his arms. He was five, but he was petite and skinny for his age. Adam swung the boy up on his shoulders.

Hoss, who was 13, was almost as tall as Adam and weighed twice as much. “You okay, big brother?”

Adam smiled at him, “I’m always okay, little brother.” He ruffed his hair as he passed. “Where’s Marie?”

“She’s in the kitchen.”

He nodded and headed in that direction. “Watch your head,” he called to little Joe as he walked past the threshold. Adam sat him down, and he ran to Marie. Marie stood in the kitchen, cleaning up from supper.  Adam placed Joe on the floor. He ran to his mother, hugging her as high as possible, then ran out the door as Hoss called for him. Marie turned back to Adam.

“You wanted to see me.” He said a little roughly but not unkindly.

“Yes, Adam,” she turned to face him, wiping her hands on her apron. “I need you to go into town for me tomorrow. You need to say goodbye to her properly. For both of your sakes.”

“I can’t see them, Marie. It will hurt too much.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “Now, Adam, I am not your mother, but I love you. If you don’t say goodbye, you will never have peace, and neither will she. Go to town tomorrow. I can’t force you if you don’t want to talk to her afterward.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” He walked over and kissed her cheek. Before leaving the kitchen, he called to her, “For the record, you are one of my ma’s too.” He walked to the bedroom he shared with Hoss. Taking off his boots, he lay in bed, and as always, his thoughts drifted to her as sleep courted him.

She giggled as he stole a kiss from her. They lay lazily on the picnic blanket on a hill overlooking the lake. “Can we get married right here? It would be perfect.” She asked.

“Sweetheart, we could get married on the moon if it would make you happy.”

“Oh, Adam, man will never reach the moon.” She pushed him away playfully. “Besides, all I need to be happy is you, this view, and my family.”

He smiled at her sweetly, “Then it’s settled. We will get married right here next fall.”

“Next fall? Don’t you think you need to ask my father first?”

Adam looked thoughtful momentarily, “Yes, but it’s not like our relationship is a secret; neither were my intentions. Besides, Marie, Pa, Hoss, and Joe love you, and your brother and sister adore me. I do not think our marriage will be a hard sell, do you?” He kissed her again.

“No, I hope not, but you know how my father can be.”

“If he says no, we will elope on one condition.”

“Oh, and what would that be?” She teased.

“We stay in the main house of the Ponderosa at least for a while.”

She laughed, “Why?”

He looked down. “I can’t leave them, Jess. Hoss and Joe are too young to take on my responsibilities around the ranch, and Pa can’t do it alone. They need me.”

She held his cheek, guiding his face up. “And you want to be there.”

She didn’t pose it as a question, but he felt the need to defend himself. “It’s my home. I spent years working alongside Pa to make it what it is. Even though I know it’s not much, not yet. It’s a part of me. I don’t think I could leave it even if I wanted to. I’m as much a part of it as the pines are.”

“Darling, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I knew from the moment I met you that you were rooted in this land, in your family. That’s one of the many things I love about you.”

He smiled at her, finally looking at her. It was vast, open, and honest. She would have flown to the moon herself to keep that smile turned to her. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I think I could ask you the same question. You shouldn’t have looked twice at me.”

She smiled back and stood, “Come on, if you want to marry me, we better get back. You will never get my father’s blessing if you miss the roundup.

Adam woke with a start. He shook his head, only to see Hoss’s head peak at him. “Hoss, why are you awake so early?”

“You were talking in your sleep.”
“I’m sorry, Hoss. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” Adam slipped on his boots.

“It’s okay.” Nothing was said for a moment, and then Hoss spoke. “I miss her too.”

Adam froze; he had known that he had called to her in his sleep for a while, but they had never talked about it. “Miss who?”

“Jessy. She made you happy, Adam. I miss seeing you happy.”

A million responses flew through his head, but all he said was, “I miss her too, buddy.”

“Are you going try to get her back?”

Adam didn’t say anything as he walked out their bedroom door.  As Adam and Ben finished mucking stalls that morning, Adam asked, ” If I asked Jess to marry me again, would you support it?”

Ben looked at him confused, then with clarity, “You mean without her father’s permission?”

Adam nodded, “Yes, sir, that’s what I mean.”

“Son, are you sure that’s a good idea? Her father may come after you with a shotgun.”

Adam lifted his chin slightly, “I know the risks; I’m asking if I will face them alone. I know you have Marie, Joe, and Hoss to consider.”

“Son, if you can get her to agree, this family has faced many more dangerous things than Finn Howards.”

Adam’s smile lit up the whole barn. He sat down his pitchfork and wrapped his arms around Ben’s shoulders. “Thank you, Pa.”

“Getting her to say yes will be harder than you think.”

Adam shook his head; “I know, but if I don’t try, I will regret it. I love her, Pa. I know she loves me.”

“She may, son, but you must consider her family.”

Adam nodded and continued working with a newfound energy. Once all the morning chores were done. Adam saddled Arrow and headed toward town.

Once Adam settled Arrow in the stable, he set out to find her. She was where she always was when her whole family came to town, fishing her father out of the saloon. He found her half dragging and half carrying a small man out the door. Adam took the man’s other arm and helped her sit him in a chair.

She dusted herself off. “Thank you for the help.” She said without looking up.

Her voice still calmed the deepest part of his soul. “It’s the least I can do, sweetheart.” He tipped his hat when she finally looked at him.

“Oh, Adam, I didn’t realize it was you.” She shifted her feet uncomfortably. “You are the last person I expected to help him.”

“And why is that? You needed my help.”

“I wasn’t sure you wanted to help me anymore.” She looked back at Finn. The man was only forty, but he looked sixty. The whiskey and hard times had taken a toll. He was sleeping soundly. “He may be my father, but that doesn’t mean he is a good man. At least not since Mother died. He has been trying to drown himself in a bottle ever since. After everything he said to you and Ben, I can’t blame you for hating us.”

Adam looked at her, puzzled, “Hate you, George, and Sally? No, Jess, never.”

“George! Sally!” Without another word, she took off, running toward the hotel. Adam ran after her, reaching the hotel before she did to find George and Sally playing in the sand out front. The two children were eight and four, with blonde hair and brown eyes and, like Joe, tended to find trouble.

“JJ!” George screamed and ran toward her.

Sally looked up. Her face lit up when she saw Adam. “Uncle Adam!” She yelled and sprinted into his arms.

He gladly picked her up and swung her around. Being the younger of the two, she was still small enough that he could do this easily. “And how are you this morning, BlueBell?”

“Are you coming to take us home?”

Jess looked horrified, “Sally!”

“I want to go home.” Sally turned to her sister.

“Sally!” She turned her attention back to Adam, who was trying, somewhat successfully, to hide a smile while holding Sally in his arms, “Adam, I’m sorry. What was it that you needed?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Come take a walk with me?”

She nodded, “Let me put them down.” She could tell Sally was fighting sleep in Adam’s arms.

He nodded at her. Once, she had both laid on the cot in the little room. George, I need you to stay here with your sister.”

George nodded, “Only if Uncle Adam sings to us!”

“Of course, little man.” Adam smiled at him. He began George’s favorite song. Once he had finished, both the children were asleep. He turned back to Jess to find her leaning against the door frame with her eyes closed.

She opened her eyes once he stopped. ” I’m going to miss the sound of your voice.” He noticed the tears in her eyes then.

Without thinking, he pulled her into him, her whole body shaking, “You don’t have to, you know? Marry me, and I’ll sing to you every day.”

“I wish I could say yes.” She responded, still crying.

He guided her gently out of the room, “Then say yes, Jess. We could build an amazing life together. The kind other people only ever dream of. Marry me!”
“Adam, Darling, please understand I can’t. I can’t leave them.” She cut her eyes back up the stairs. “They shouldn’t have to handle my father’s stupidity. They are too young. They deserve a chance to be kids. A chance you and I were never given. Besides, what would that do to your family after my father said no? Your reputation?”

“Your father said no because he is a drunk fool. Everyone knows that. As for George and Sally, they can come live with us. You know how my folks feel about them! Please, Jess, say yes. You take care of everyone else. Let me take care of you.”

She took his face in her hands. Slowly losing the resolve she had started with. “Why do you have to make this so hard?”

He smiled, “Because I am a stubborn Cartwright who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.” He wiped more tears from her eyes.

“I can’t leave Daddy. We are all he has. But at least take this as a consolation prize. I was going to send this to you once we left, but I’ll give it to you now.” She pulled a beaten-up envelope from a pocket inside her dress. “Before you open that, you need to know I sent this before Mother died and all hell broke loose.”

“What is it?” He gently took the envelope from her. He opened the envelope but didn’t get past the college seal before he yelled, “Jess, this isn’t a consolation prize. This is a way to make yourself feel better! How did you even get the papers to apply? I know I didn’t give them to you.”

“Adam, you have talked about going for so long. I at least wanted you to know it was an option.”

“What do you mean an option? You know I have responsibilities on the ranch.”

She looked at him sadly. “I know you have responsibilities. Don’t let your responsibilities run your life. Your father has enough hands to cover the work.” She put her hand on top of his. “Please, Adam, don’t let your dreams die under your responsibilities.”

The grimace on his lips and the pain in his eyes betrayed more than his face ever would. “You should look in the mirror when you say that.”

“My only dream was you, our kids, and to see George and Sally happy, my family. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And what makes you think you were not a part of my dream?”

“I know, but sometimes the world doesn’t care about our dreams. You can still have part of yours.”

Adam finally locked eyes with her. Her gray, stormy eyes refused to look away. “What about your own dreams? Are you going to find your dreams with someone else?” He practically spat at her.

“No, If it were up to me, I would never leave.”

“It is up to you. Why won’t you marry me?

“I can’t,” She looked like she had been kicked in the stomach. “Dance with me.”

“What?”

“Dance with me one last time?” He held out his hand to her after pocketing the letter.

“In the street?” She looked around them. Everyone politely gave them enough space to seem private but close enough to hear every word.

“Yes, we may never get another chance. I don’t want my last memory of you to be fighting.”

She smiled sadly, “I’m sorry I’m causing you all this pain. It’s the last thing I want to do. I would never ask you to wait for me. Just don’t forget me.”

” I could never forget you. You will always own the deed to my heart.” He smiled and pulled her into his arms.

After several minutes, she pulled away from him. “Adam, Sally asked if you were coming to take us home. This is all she has ever known.” She was crying again. Adam quickly wiped away her tears while holding back his own.

“Jessica!” The rough sound of her name made her jump. She buried her head in Adam’s chest. “It’s time to go!”

She kissed Adam’s cheek and whispered, “Go get your dream.”

“Jessica!” A hand yanked her away from Adam. “Time to go! Now!

Adam tried one last time, grabbing her arm gently. “Sweetheart.”

She touched his face. “Trust me. It’s better this way.”

Finn roughly pulled her away and pushed her in front of him. “Let’s go, girl!”

Adam stood in the street dumbfounded, watching them go. Even when they disagreed, they could always talk to each other; it is what made them such a good pair. He needed a drink. He walked into the salon, “Whiskey.” He called as soon as he was inside.

The barkeep passed him a half bottle of whiskey and a glass. “It’s on the house.”

“Thanks, Jim.”

“Adam, I wanted you to know that everyone is going to miss them. All of them except Finn, that is. We were all rooting for you and Jessica. She is one heck of a girl. Always keeping you on your toes.”

“Yeah, me too.” He hadn’t been sitting long when he heard a blood-chilling scream. Fear overtook every logical bone in his body. He blindly made his way outside. Once outside, he saw the problem.

Sally had dropped her favorite doll out of the open window. And now she was trying to follow it. The problem was that the stagecoach was gaining speed. Jess pulled her back inside, kicking and screaming. Adam picked up the doll only to hear Sally’s voice. “Take care of her for me, Uncle Adam. I’ll be back for her.”

Adam didn’t notice the tears until one landed on the doll. “I’ll do my best, BlueBell.”

Three days later, Adam returned to the Ponderosa clear-eyed and clear-headed. Adam took Sally’s doll and set it on the mantle once he returned to the house. No one dared move it. As for Adam himself, he didn’t speak much to anyone for the next several months, but no one had ever seen him work harder around the ranch.

Adam asked late one night. It broke the tension that had been building. “Why did you give those papers to Jess?” He looked between Ben and Marie.

“She asked me for them,” Ben said as if the answer was obvious. “Adam, you are so intelligent. Why not share that with the world?”

“Because you need me! How can I leave?” He screamed, standing up from his chair.

“Adam, we will always need you, but you need to live your dreams too.” Marie stood and began to walk toward him. He held up a hand to stop her.

“Adam, I can always hire and train hands if you want to do this.” Ben stood as well.

Adam set his shoulders. “I think this is something I need to do. Everywhere I look, I see her. Some time away may help me to move on.”

Ben nodded. “Then you need to pack.”

The stagecoach that carried Adam Cartwright out of the town was done so without fanfare. The family wrote back and forth at least weekly. Adam’s absence was most burdensome on Ben. He hadn’t realized how much he depended on his eldest son until he was no longer there. Adam finished school in record time, receiving a degree in architecture. Once he finished his last exam, he was eager to get home to his family. “Adam, glad to have you back, son.” Ben greeted him when he stepped off the stage, pulling him into a hug.

Adam smiled; “It’s good to be back, Pa. I’ve missed you. Where is everyone?”

“At home, they wanted to give you a proper homecoming.” Adam and Ben got into the wagon and headed out of town towards the Ponderosa. As they rode, Ben said, “Once you are settled, son, I want to talk about a job.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll let you get settled first.” As they reached the house, the other three family members stood on the porch, waiting. A massive banner read, ‘Welcome Home, Adam.’ He smiled the first genuine smile anyone had seen since Christmas. He missed this the most when he was away: his family.

Marie had prepared pot roast, Adam’s favorite. Once they had finished eating, Adam spoke, “Okay, Pa, I’m settled. Now, what job is it that you have me doing?”

Ben reached out and held Marie’s hand. “We want you to design and build a new house for us all. It’s time to build a bigger house. One that we can grow our family in. Besides, you and Hoss shouldn’t have to share a room.”

Adam looked at Hoss, feigning hurt. Hoss started, “It’s not that I mind sharing with you, Adam. It’s just… well… I’ve gotten plenty used to having my own room.”

Adam smiled, breaking the act. He could tell this had been rehearsed. He wasn’t going to argue. “It’s okay, Hoss. I understand.” He turned to Ben. “I can start on the plans tomorrow, Pa. How many bedrooms are you thinking?”

Adam didn’t miss the look that passed between Marie and Ben. “At least five. The four of us and one guest room.”

“We will need timber.”

“I’ve already started cutting and running trees through the sawmill.”

Adam nodded; “I will start on the plans first thing in the morning. You need to bring me up to speed on the ranch after that.”

“Tomorrow. Now go get some rest.”

He nodded again but grabbed a bedroll and an extra blanket instead of heading toward his and Hoss’s room. “I think I will sleep outside tonight. I’ve missed the Nevada stars.” Adam smiled at Hoss as he headed outside. He walked toward the barn. Arrow greeted him at his stall. “Arrow, I’ve missed you. Have they been taking good care of you, boy?” He patted Arrow’s nose. That night, as he lay underneath the breathtaking sky, his mind drifted.

“Uncle Adam will never find me here.” He heard Sally giggle from behind a tree. He poked his head around the tree.

He grabbed her, causing her to giggle again. “Where’s Little Joe?” Adam whispers. Adam grabbed the girl’s hand as she took off toward the woods. They soon found little Joe hiding in a tree.

Joe grinned at his brother. “You wouldn’t have found me if it wasn’t for Sally.”

Adam smiled down at the young girl. “Maybe not, but she is my secret weapon.” Adam winked at her, causing her to giggle. 

“Come on!” he motioned with his hands, “Let’s go find George and Hoss.”

“And JJ!” Sally yelled excitedly.

“And JJ.” Adam agreed.

Hoss was found next. He was ‘hidden’ in the stables, caring for the horses. “I thought we were playing hide and seek. That means you should be hiding.” Joe said as they walked into the stable, hearing Hoss speaking to the horses.

“Oh, I got tired of waiting. I thought I’d come to check the horses.”

“Let’s check the bunkhouse for George,” Joe suggested.

As they all left the stable, Hoss stayed where he was. Adam turned around, “You coming, Hoss?”

“No, I reckon not. You already found me. I will stay here with them.”

Adam nodded, “Don’t forget to come in for lunch.”

Little Joe was shushing Sally by the time Adam reached the bunkhouse. Adam put a finger to his lips. George was hiding under the bunk on the very back wall. Adam lifted him from the floor. “Dang it, you found me.” He poked out his bottom lip.

Adam laughed, “You will have to get better at hiding if you want to beat me.”

“I will beat you one day. You will see.”

“Of course, you will. Now I have to get you back. Then I’ll find JJ.”  Adam crouched down so George could jump on his back. He pulled Sally into his arms, “I’ll race you. He looked at Joe with a challenge in his eyes.

“You’re on.” They both took off toward the house. Joe beat Adam by a hair, which may or may not have been Adam’s intention.

Marie was standing at the door, cheering Joe on. She ushered the three young children inside. “Marie, have you seen JJ?” Adam asked as he sat Sally down.

Marie smiled. “She is out back, finishing lunch.”

Adam shook his head, “Of course she is.” JJ stood at the back of the house, keeping the fire stocked. “Do you ever stop working? I thought you were playing hide and seek with us. He pulled her away from the fire and into his arms.

“Marie needed help. Besides, we have been here for three weeks. It doesn’t feel right taking advantage of your hospitality.”

 “We all want you here. Sally and George are perfect playmates for Joe and Hoss. And you are a light in this house. Besides, Marie loves having another young lady around. I want you here. You three can stay as long as you want.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you, but we have our own ranch to tend. As soon as Daddy returns from San Fransisco and mother states feeling better.”

“At least let me take you for a ride tomorrow, JJ. No work, just you and me.”

She pulled herself out of his arms. He looked down at her, confused. “Don’t call me that, Adam, please.

 “What, JJ? Why? That’s your name, isn’t it?” he teased.

“It makes me look for Sally and George but not you. Please.”

“Okay, then what would you prefer?” He smirked at her, surprised something this small would bother her. But if he was honest with himself, he liked the idea of having a particular name for her. 

“I don’t know, you pick, just not JJ.”

“What about Jess.”

She relaxed into him a little, moving back into his embrace. “I like that. Who knows, maybe it will catch on.

“Well, how do you feel about Sweetheart? I like how it sounds.”  His eyes lit with mischief.

“Oh, you do, do you? A name like that would cause a girl to expect something.”

“And so if she does?” He pulled her a little closer. 

She hit his chest lightly. “Well, I think she would need a nickname for you?”

“And what would that name be?”

Her eyes lit with a bit of mischief of her own. “I like Darling.”

He smiled and leaned down and kissed her full on the lips. “I like the sound of that too.”

The following day, he took Arrow for a ride and began working on the blueprints for the house. It took him two days. On the third morning, Adam had a rough outline of the house in front of Ben over their fourth cup of coffee. Ben smiled widely at his son. “This looks great, Adam.”

“Thanks, Pa; I’d like to make my room a little bigger than Hoss or Joe’s.”

“Why, son?”

“Well…” He had never voiced this to anyone other than Jess. “Well, I’ll likely get married before Hoss or Little Joe.”

“Of course you will, son, but why would that mean you need a bigger room?”

“Well, I’d like to bring her to live here. You said we could all get a piece of the Ponderosa once we married, but I want to live here. If that’s okay with you?”

Ben looked at him dumbfounded for a moment. “Sure, son, but are you sure you want to live with Marie, Joe, Hoss, and me once you are married? You don’t want space of your own?”

“Pa, I helped you make the Ponderosa what it is. I was beside you, working, clearing, and building before Hoss was no bigger than a beanpole. This is my home. I helped create it. When I get married, I don’t want to create a new one but build on the one I have.”

Ben nodded, “I don’t see why you can’t make your room the way you want.”

He smiled, “Thanks, Pa. So, are you going to tell anyone you and Marie are trying for another baby?”

Ben looked a little sheepish. “No, and we aren’t trying, at least not yet. What gave us away? You’ve been home three days and found out. Your brothers never left, and they still don’t know.”

Adam laughed; “I think I am a little more observant than my brothers. When the two of you do start trying, do me one favor?”

“And what’s that?”

“Try for a girl this time. There are plenty of men in this house.”

Ben laughed, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Adam’s eyes shifted to the mantle where that small doll still lay. Ben noticed, “We haven’t heard from them since they left. Marie has written to them several times.”

“Me too, Pa. But it’s like they dropped off the face of the earth.”

“We could try to find them if you want. When you talked about marriage before you went to school, it was always to her.”

“No, Pa. If they wanted to be here, they would be. Yes, I loved her, but we both have moved on.”

Ben nodded slowly, “Well, let’s start building.”  It took a year to finish the house outside and three months on the inside for Marie. Adam’s room was on the left side of the top floor, and Ben and Marie’s were on the right. Joe and Hoss’s rooms were directly in the middle, with guest rooms between Ben and Joe and one between Adam and Hoss.

Adam opened Hoss’s new bedroom door, grinning from ear to ear. “You like it?” Adam asked. Hoss nodded, “Much better than sharing a room with me?” Adam teased.

Hoss looked at him quickly. “Adam, I didn’t mind sharing a room with you. You could have moved back in with me. You didn’t have to start sleeping in the bunkhouse.”

“It’s okay, Hoss. I needed to move into the bunkhouse for a while. To prove myself to the new hands.” Adam didn’t tell Hoss that his dreams of Jess were much worse in the old house than in the bunkhouse. “You getting your own room was just a bonus.” Adam unsurprisingly dreamt of her on the first night in their new home.

 

Adam walked into the house, stepping over dolls and toys. As he pushed the door open, he heard two children yelling.

“Uncle Joe said he would play me next!” It was a girl’s voice.

“No, you played him yesterday. I want to play.” This one was male but sounded very young.

“I have an idea,” It was Joe’s voice. “Why don’t you play each other?”

“Okay, Uncle Joe,” the little girl said. As he walked towards the voices, he saw the girl. She was maybe seven or eight. She had dark hair that matched his, but everything else about her looked just like Jess.“ And whoever wins will play Uncle Hoss.”

“That sounds great to me.” Joe patted the young girl’s head. Adam only caught a glimpse of the boy with dirty blonde hair.

“That was very good, Joe.”

Joe turned to him, chuckling, “It worked for you when Hoss and I were little.”

“I thought my children would be smarter than that.” Adam chuckled.

“What are you too laughing at?” Adam looked up to see Jess walking through the door, her blonde hair pulled up high and a swollen belly.

He smiled, moving toward her, “Oh, nothing, Sweetheart, just the intelligence of our older children.”

She turned to Joe, “They love you, Joe. They want to spend time with you.” She grabbed Adam’s hand. “Maybe you could teach them how to play chess.”

“Not tonight, Sweetheart. I’ve been branding new calves all day. If I teach them tonight, I won’t get any sleep.”

She laughed, “They both have your enthusiasm. Supper is almost ready.”

 

Adam woke with a smile on his face. He had that dream at least once a month for years, always different variations, but there were always children, and there was her. The dream had different variations; sometimes, the children were toddlers and other times, they were teenagers. They would ride together in the land he loved so much; sometimes, their children had their own kids. He didn’t understand why he had never stopped dreaming of her. He had called on numerous girls since her, but he could never settle with any of them. They could never match the girl in his dreams. Walking down the stairs the following day, Hoss, Joe, and Ben were already seated at the table.

“Joe, Hoss, don’t you have chores to do? Ben looked at them both knowingly.

“Sure, Pa,” Hoss replied and shoved Joe out the door.

Adam stopped midway down the stairs. This couldn’t be good. “What is it, Pa? You only send the others out like that when one of us is in major trouble.”

“Sit down, Adam.”

“Tell me, Pa. You’ve never beat around the bush with me before. Don’t start now.”

“I heard that the Howards are on the stagecoach coming in tomorrow.

Adam was glad he had been sitting because he may have fallen over. However, his face and body language showed no signs of this revelation. “Okay,” was the only word he could manage.

“And you’re okay with that?” Ben handed him a cup of coffee.

“Why wouldn’t I be Pa. A lot has changed in the six years since we have seen them. We lost Marie for one. For another, the Ponderosa is profitable now. We have all grown and changed.” He took a long sip, “I even drink my coffee differently now.”

Ben didn’t believe his son, but if anyone could handle the storm that he was sure was blowing in. It had to be Adam. And he was right. They had all changed considerably. She probably had to. He looked to the mantle where that doll had sat for six years. Then again, some things never change.

Early the following day, a bruised and battered girl with a cut on her lip that looked fresh got off the stage the next day with a boy and a girl in tow.  The boy looked roughly 13, maybe 14, while the girl couldn’t have been older than 11. Everyone seemed to give them a lot of space as they exited the coach. It took three weeks, but by the time she was ready to return to her ranch, the people of Virginia City had welcomed her home. While in town, she bought several horses and a small herd of cattle. Once she saw it, she knew that getting to the ranch had been the easy part. She shrugged; it couldn’t be more challenging than the last six years. “You two go play. I’ll clean up the inside.”

They both nodded, “Okay, JJ.” As Sally climbed out of the wagon, she asked, “Can we go see Uncle Adam soon?”

“Sally, he’s not your Uncle Adam anymore.”  She looked at her sharply, “Do not call him that. Do you understand me?”

“Well, I don’t see why not. He’s my Uncle Adam, not yours.”

Jess grabbed her by the shoulders. “No, he is not. He probably has a wife and children. I’m sure he wants nothing to do with us. You are not going to make things awkward for him or his family. That is final.” Her eyes softened a little, “Now go play.”

Sally ran off a little disheartened. Jess knew they both wanted to see the Cartwrights. On the other hand, she didn’t know if she could face Adam. It had been six years since she broke both of their hearts. She knew logically she had been the one to let him go. That was her choice. No matter her reasons, he owed her less than nothing. She was sure he was married by now. She spent the whole day cleaning what she could and putting away the supplies she had bought at the general store.

She tucked in her siblings several weeks later and noticed how much better they both looked. They had only been back in the territory a few weeks and looked better than they did back east. She smiled, knowing she had made the right choice. Once they were asleep, she counted the cash they had left. They had just enough to hire a good foreman. Things will just be tight until they sell the herd. They would all be okay. When she went to bed that night, she dreamed as she expected to of the man who still held her heart.

She heard him before she saw him. His beautiful voice carried throughout the house. When she reached the small room door, she watched Adam sing for two toddlers, a girl, and a boy.

Once he finished, he kissed them both on the head. The boy was younger and fast asleep. “Papa, your voice is so pretty.” The little girl jumped up from the bed. “Sing us another.”

“Shh, you don’t want to wake your brother. He chuckled quietly. “Not tonight. Go to sleep now. I’ll sing to you tomorrow.”

“Okay, Papa. Two tomorrow?”

Adam nodded, “Two tomorrow. That seemed to settle the child. When he turned around and saw her standing in the doorway, his face broke into an even bigger smile.

She pulled him away from the room and closed the door.

“It’s late, Sweetheart. Come to bed.” He pulled her to the door of their bedroom.

She didn’t move. “No,” He stopped, turning back to her fully, confused. “Dance with me first.”

He smirked at her, “In the middle of the hall?”

“Why not? We may never get another chance.”

She woke up as dream Adam pulled her into his arms. She couldn’t lie. She would have liked to stay asleep a little longer to keep dreaming. She shook herself; he wasn’t hers anymore. He not only didn’t want her, but he had moved on with his life. She had heard in town that he had courted many girls since her. She had no right to still hope that he might come in and sweep her off her feet.

She enrolled George and Sally in school the next day and hired a good Forman and a few ranch hands to keep the ranch running. The following six months were hard on all of them, but it was worth it. She then went to pay her respects properly to her mother. She offered to take George and Sally with her, but they refused. George only remembered the woman in the sickbed. Sally had no memory of her at all. She went to the graveyard early. What surprised her was that there were two graves standing side by side. She pulled her horse up and tied him off. As she got closer, shock stopped her.

The headstone to the right read Georgia Howards. The one to the left read Marie Cartwright. The ware on the headstone and the flowers growing around the two showed that neither grave was fresh. Marie was dead. A million questions pelted her mind. What happened? Why hadn’t someone written to her and told her? She had loved Marie. Didn’t she deserve to know? Maybe she didn’t. After all, she had broken their hearts when she left. She had always assumed that’s why she had never gotten a response from any of her letters. She decided that no matter the cost, she would pay her respects to the Ponderosa. George and Sally would be furious that she was riding over there without them, but this would be better for her to face alone. She split the wildflowers she had brought and laid half on each grave.

She pulled her horse up short in front of an exquisite house. She had heard that the Cartwrights had built a new home. This house far surpassed what she had imagined. An older gentleman in a tan vest and white hair stepped out on the porch at her approach. Once she dismounted, she realized it was a slightly older Ben Cartwright. “Mr. Cartwright!” She called.

Ben stopped for a moment. “Jessica. That can’t be you, can it? I heard you were back in town, but no one has seen you in six months.”

“It is, Mr. Cartwright. I’m sorry it took me so long to come by. I wasn’t sure any of you wanted to see me.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully, “Adam is up on the North range fixing the fence. I can’t speak for him, frankly, because I never know what’s going on in that head of his. But as far as the rest of us are concerned, you are always welcome. Besides, he will not be back until tomorrow at least. Please call me Ben. You have never called me Mr. Cartwright. I don’t see a reason for you to start now.”

“Okay, Ben, I came because I found Marie’s grave. I am so sorry.”

Ben turned his eyes down and said sorrowfully, “Yes, we lost her some time ago. It was a riding accident.”

She moved closer to him, “Ben, I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how you all got through it.” She wiped tears from her eyes.

Ben laughed sadly, “We seem to get by all right, but thank you. It was a hard few years.”

“I have to get back to the ranch, but I wanted to pay my respects to Marie.” She mounted her horse.

Ben held the reins to stop her from leaving. “Jess, we are having a party next week. Please come; you are all welcome. I’m sure Joe and Hoss would love to see you.”

She broke eye contact with Ben, “Are you sure?”

“Sure, I’m sure; Little Joe always talks about George and Sally. He would love to see them outside of school. Please come, Jess.”

“I’ll think about it, Ben, thank you. I am so sorry about Marie.”

Ben nodded, “Thank you, Jess. I appreciate it.” He let the reins go, and she touched the horse’s belly with her heels.

Ben walked back inside to be met by Hoss, “Pa, was that Jess I saw outside?”

“Yes, son, it was, and with her return, I have a feeling things will get very interesting around here.”

When Jess returned home, she said nothing about going to the Cartwrights. Sally and George would want to go to this party, she knew. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea. They had been back in the territory for over half a year. Maybe seeing Adam happy would help her find some happiness of her own. Without fail, George asked her about the party as soon as he walked in the door the following afternoon. “So, are we going to the party at the Cartwrights? Joe told me about it today.”

“Yes, we can go.”

“Yay, we can finally see Hoss, Ben, and Uncle Adam!” Sally yelled excitedly.

Jess held up her hand. “I have conditions for all of us going. One Marie is gone. You will not mention her to any guest there.” They both looked a little sad. They had heard about Marie, Joe told them. The two siblings, however, had made a pact, not to mention it to their sister. She had enough to deal with, but still, they nodded. “Two, you will finish your chores before we go.” They nodded again. Jess pointed her expression at Sally, “Three, and most importantly, you will not use the word Uncle while we are at this party. Understood? I have done everything I can to break you of the habit, but you are as stubborn as a mule. We will leave if I hear the word uncle passed either of your lips.”

Sally looked a little indignant, but she said, “Yes, ma’am.” The week flew by for the two young children. Jess grew more nervous as the date drew closer.

The night of the party came, and Jess picked out her favorite dress. It was a deep purple, Adam’s favorite. It wasn’t much, but it looked better than most she owned. Standing in front of the mirror, she brushed the dress down for the tenth time. She couldn’t help but hope Adam at least thought she looked stunning. “Come on, JJ. We are going to be late.” Sally called from outside.

Jedidiah, their foreman, had already hooked the horses up to the wagon. “Now, Jed, are you sure you don’t want to go with us?” Jess asked as she took the reins from him.

“No, ma’am. Parties have never been something I’ve enjoyed. But you three go have fun. You’ve earned it, Ms. Jessica, with how hard you have been working.”

She smiled down at him. Snapping them, the horses took off at an easy walk. Once there, she helped George and Sally off the wagon. Little Joe immediately met them, hugging her. “Aunt Jessy. It’s so good to see you. We’ve missed you.”

He caught her off guard, but she hugged him back. “I’ve missed you too. You’ve gotten so big.” It was true; he barely reached her waist the last time she saw him. Now, he was almost as tall as she was. “How is school?”

“I don’t like it. I would rather work the ranch with Adam and Hoss.”

“You’ll be old enough for that soon, little brother. Right now, it’s more important that you finish your education.”  Adam had walked up beside him as he spoke.

“Oh, Adam,” he pouted. “What good is an education?”

Adam chuckled, “If it weren’t for my education, we wouldn’t have this house. Now go show BlueBell and George the rest of the Ponderosa. But don’t wander off too far.”

Without a word, the three took off to the barn.  Adam turned back to her once they ran off. She looked at him for the first time in six years. He wore black boots, pants, and a red button-up shirt. All the boyhood had been shaped from his features and left a rougher, chiseled look behind. If possible, he looked better now than he did six years ago. “I’m sorry,” he said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looked at him quizzically, “What for?”

“For Little Joe, we told him before you got here not to call you Aunt, but I guess it slipped his mind in the excitement.” He handed her horses off to a stable hand.

She hadn’t even registered Joe called her aunt. Even though she had made the point to Sally that Adam was not her uncle. “He has called me that ever since he can remember.

Adam looked slightly uncomfortable, “It might not bother you, but I’m sure your husband won’t like it, considering our past relationship.”

She shrugged, “Well, since I don’t have one of those, it seems I am the only one that matters. But I understand I had a very similar conversation with Sally and George before we came. I don’t want to make things awkward between you and your wife.”

Adam turned to face her with a confused look that matched her own. “Jess, they will always be my niece and nephew because I love them. As far as my having a wife, I’ve never found anyone I wanted to marry.” He led her towards the front door as the rest of the party guests were mingling outside. “May I show you inside?”

“Adam,” She stopped him with a hand to his chest. “I am so sorry about Marie.” He took that moment to take her in. Her blonde hair was longer than he remembered it. Her frame and face were leaner, too. He was sure she had missed more than one meal to ensure George and Sally had enough. Her eyes were still the same as he saw in his dreams. A stormy grey that had constantly reminded him of the sea.

“Thank you. It was much harder on Pa and Little Joe, but we managed.” They had reached the front door. He held it open for her.

Her eyes lit up as she walked inside, and he took a strange kind of joy from it. “Adam, the inside is just as beautiful as the outside. Marie picked out the furniture, didn’t she?”

“What?” he asked. He paused like waking from a dream, then answered her, “Oh yes, she did. How can you tell?”

“I feel her. I can’t explain it. What did you mean when you said your education built this house?” She asked.

A little uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, refusing to meet her eyes. “I went to Boston after you left and got a degree in architecture. When I returned, Pa and I built this house using my degree.”

She stopped walking around the room and faced him. She didn’t meet his eyes as she said, “I’m glad something good came out of that horrid time.”

“For the record, I wouldn’t trade anything for my time with you. Not even if I could make all the pain go away.”

“I can’t believe you still feel that way after all the pain and heartache.”

“Don’t you?”

“Adam, you were the love of my life. Most people go their whole lives without finding what we had.”

Before another word could be spoken, guests started pouring in from outside. All the guests agreed that the night’s highlight was watching Adam Cartwright and Jessica Howards on the dance floor, and it was the most fun any of them could remember. When Jess was ready to leave, she looked for Sally and George. They were found sound asleep on the floor of Joe’s room, toys scattered everywhere.

Ben laid George in the back of the wagon, took Sally from Jess’s arms, and laid her down. Sally held tightly to the doll that had made a home on the Cartwright mantle. After laying a blanket on them, he turned back to Jess. “Thank you for coming. I know Little Joe enjoyed having Geroge and Sally to play with.”

“Thank you for inviting us, Ben. The two of them will be talking about this for weeks.”

“What about you? You seemed like you enjoyed yourself.”

She blushed, “I always have the best time around you, Cartwrights.”

Ben chuckled and helped her into the wagon. “It’s good to have you back, Jess.”

She blushed again, “Thank you, Ben. I’ve missed you all too. More than you will ever know.” She snapped the reins lightly.

Once she was out of sight, Ben walked back into the house. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” He called to Adam.

Adam’s smug smile answered for itself. “I did, more than I thought I would.”

“So,” Ben started slowly, “What about Jessica?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she is not married, still very beautiful, and everyone saw the two of you tonight. You looked ready to kill any other man within ten feet of her.”

Adam looked questioningly, “I did, really? I hadn’t realized. I guess that is one habit I haven’t broken.”

“Do you want to?” Adam looked at him, but Ben continued, “All I’m saying is it is still apparent you have feelings for her. You don’t dance the way the two of you did with just anyone.”

“Pa, it was just one party and one dance.”

“I know that, but you must make your intentions clear to her, the town, and most importantly yourself.”

“I don’t know if I can court her again, Pa. You remember what happened last time.”

“It is your decision. But if you don’t want her, you need to give the other men of Virginia City a chance, and they don’t have one if you act as if you are courting her.”

“Pa, where is this coming from? She may not even want me anymore.” Adam was taken aback. He couldn’t remember the last time they had spoken so openly about matters of the heart.

“I saw the way she looked at you tonight. I once loved her like a daughter. I guess protecting her like she is mine is a habit I haven’t been able to break myself.”

An understanding passed between the two men. “I’ll make a decision after Joe’s party.”

Ben nodded, “I’m going to bed. I will see you in the morning. Good night.”

“Goodnight,” Ben left Adam alone in the main room.

Jess was shocked when Joe rode in from school with Sally and George the next day. Ben rode in thirty minutes later, sick with worry. “Boy, you should have asked before you came to Ms. Howards’ home. Where did your manners go?” Ben looked like he had been riding hard looking for his son.

“I’m sorry, Pa. George and I were talking about the new longhorn, and we were at Aunt Jessy’s before I realized it. Sally invited me to supper.”

Ben was fuming, “Where is Ms. Howards? I can’t believe she would let you stay without telling me where you were.”

“She’s out in the barn, Pa.” As Joe spoke, Jessica walked out of the barn with a saddled horse.

Once she saw Ben, she ran to him. “I am sorry, Ben. I was just about to ride out and take Little Joe home.”

“It’s not your fault, Jessica. Little Joe knows he comes straight home after school.” His face softened at her concern.

“I’m sorry, Pa.” Little Joe refused to look up at his father.

“Since you are both here, you can stay for supper. We will have more than enough.”

Ben turned to Jessica and smiled, “We would love to, so long as it is not an imposition.”

“Not at all.” She smiled at him.

After this, a pattern emerged: The children consistently came home from school with each other.  Naturally, Jess and Adam saw more of each other than they thought they would. After a month of sharing a meal every week, most of the uncomfortableness between them had gone, but neither knew where they stood with the other. They had begun to rekindle a friendship, unsure if there was more underneath. “Thank you for having us again. I am so sorry Little Joe has been such an imposition.” Adam had his hat in his hands, playing with the rim. It was the second time Ben had sent Adam after Little Joe this week.

She laughed; he had forgotten how much he missed that sound. “He’s no imposition. Besides, having another adult to talk to at the table is nice.”

“I am glad to be of service.”

“It’s always lovely to see you, too. But being able to have an intellectual conversation that isn’t about cattle is so refreshing.” She blushed, and even in the low light, Adam saw. It made him smile a little wider.

Adam chuckled, “Little Joe’s birthday party is coming up soon. Will you come?”

She thought about it. Yes, we will be there.”

He smiled broadly at her. “We better get going. Pa will have my hide if we aren’t back before dark. Joe, we have to go now!” Adam swung himself up in one swift motion.

She nodded, patting the horse’s brown nose. “Thank you for not hating me, Adam.” She didn’t meet his eyes.

“I told you a long time ago, Jess, I could never hate you.” As Joe sat himself on his horse, they both rode away.

The night of the party came, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. As the night continued, Joe approached Hoss and asked, “Have you seen Aunt Jessy?”

Hoss shook his head, “No, why don’t you ask Adam? I think he is on the porch.”

As promised, Joe did find Adam on the front porch. He sat on the bench, softly playing his guitar. What surprised Little Joe was Jess sitting beside him. She sat half asleep, seamlessly unaware of what was happening around her. Adam stopped playing, shushing Joe, “What is it?”

“I was looking for Aunt Jessy.” He motioned to her. “I never got to thank her for my new hat.” He placed the new hat on his head. It was green, his favorite color.

Adam kept his voice low but didn’t move from the comfort of his position, “I’m sure she knows you love it, but don’t wake her. She didn’t get any sleep last night. She was up all night with their mare, Sunlight. She finally had her foal early this morning.”

Joe nodded, and he went back inside to the party. Adam resumed playing softly. They sat this way until more of the guests started to come outside. After a while, he gently shook her awake.

She jumped up in alarm. “What is it? Is everything okay? Where are Sally and George?”

“Whoa. Sally and George are inside. Everyone is okay.” He put his hands up like he was calming a scared horse. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Darling, I’m fine.” They both froze. She hadn’t used that word since she had been back. “I am so sorry, Adam. I shouldn’t have called you that.” Her eyes were wide with alarm. “I’m sorry.” She said again before he had a chance to speak.

She got up to leave, but he stopped her, setting his guitar down against the wall. “Come with me.” He held out a hand to her.

She didn’t take it immediately. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”

“Jess,” He smiled at her, the smile that used to make her agree to whatever he said. “We need to talk away from prying ears.” He offered his hand again. This time, she took it.

They started walking toward the barn. Once inside, they stopped at Arrow’s stall. “Adam, that was a stupid mistake. It will never happen again, I promise.” How could she be so careless? It was amazing that one word could destroy the friendship they had built over the last six months.

He stood without speaking for a long moment, then asked, “What do you dream about?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you dream now, what are they normally about?” He patted the horse’s nose.

“It depends. Why?”

When she turned to him, she saw something in his face that she had never seen before hesitation. “When I dream, I always dream of one thing.”

“And what is that? What could you possibly want that you don’t have?” She asked, only partly joking, realizing he wasn’t upset with her.

“It’s you.” He looked at her, waiting for her reaction.

“Me? She questioned, “Why do you dream of me?”

“Because I’m a stubborn Cartwright who doesn’t know how to let people go.”    When you said calling me Darling was a stupid mistake, does that mean you don’t want me anymore? You don’t see a way there could be a future that included me?”

She thought she stopped breathing. “Adam, I never stopped loving you. You have a piece of me that I can give to no one else.”

He took a step toward her, but his face looked tormented. “When your father wouldn’t give me his blessing last time, you wouldn’t run away with me and wouldn’t tell me why.” She started to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her. “And I’m not asking you to explain now. All I need to know is if I were to ask you again, would you tell me no again.”

She took a second to compose herself. “I promise you, Adam Cartwright, if you ever ask me to marry you again. My father would not stand in the way of us.”

His face broke into a smile, then, “Then Jessica Howards, may I have the honor of courting you? Is it possible for us to start over?”

“I don’t know if that’s possible for us. Little Joe calls me Aunt Jessy, and Sally and George never stopped calling you Uncle Adam. She stepped toward him, closing whatever space was left between them. “Can we start again?

“I think I like the sound of that better, Sweetheart.” He smirked at her. “I’ll tell you a secret: I have missed hearing you call me Darling.”  She felt more then saw him chuckle, “I have done everything in my power for the last year and a half to keep my heart guarded from you. I was a fool to think you didn’t already have the key.”

He bent down and kissed her. When they pulled away, they rested their foreheads together. It took several minutes for the world to come back into focus for the two. “I’m sure our family is missing us.” She spoke but didn’t pull away from him.

He smiled, “Our family? You know, I kind of like the sound of that.”

Her playful smile lit up her face, “Slow down there, boy; we only started courting.”

He pulled away from her entirely and encased her hand in his own, “Yes, but this is re-courting, so it moves faster.”

She laughed, causing his heart to fill with joy. They slowly walked back toward the house together. Adam never let go of her hand. He never wanted to let her go again. Once they reached the view of the house, Sally ran up to them, “Uncle Adam, have you seen Little Joe’s new colt?”

The colt in question was a black and white paint Ben had given Joe for his birthday. Adam bent down to their level but didn’t let go of Jess’s hand. He smiled at her, “BlueBell, I helped pick it out.”

“Really?”

Yes, I really did.”

Joe and George ran up to them. Adam saw George hand something to Little Joe. Jess looked at Sally and George, “Come on, you two, it’s getting late. We need to get back to the ranch.”

“Can’t we stay for a little while longer?” George asked.

“No, we have to go. You can see Little Joe at school on Monday.”

Once Sally and George climbed into the wagon, Adam looked around at all the guests gathered, pulled Jess close, and kissed her. It wasn’t a long or eventful kiss, but it was in view of the crowd still standing in the yard. Adam knew it would be the talk of the town within a few days. He picked her up and sat her in the driver’s seat. “We can talk about breeding Sunlight and Arrow when I come to see Sunlight’s foal tomorrow.”

She nodded. “I’ll see you soon, Mr. Cartwright.”

He tipped his head and smiled back at her. “Until then, Ms. Howards. As Adam returned to the house, stopping near Ben, he said, “I think that answers everyone’s question, don’t you?”

He smiled, “Yes, I believe it does.”

“Adam, please help me, Adam.” He heard her screaming from inside the ranch house of the Ponderosa. He looked up and realized the whole house was engulfed in flames. Hoss, Ben, and George sat in front of the house, all covered in ash. Ben’s leg was very clearly broken. He was holding George to his chest. George was sobbing.

           “Where is Jess, Little Joe, and Sally?” The fear in Adam’s voice was unmistakable.

           Ben coughed, displacing ash and soot. “Inside, Jess is trying to get them out.”

           Adam ran toward the door, hearing Jess yell again, “Adam, please, please come help me.” He opened the door, being hit by a wave of heat.

           “Jess, where are you?” He yelled, fighting through the smoke, looking for her.

           “I’m here,” she shoved Sally out of the smoke into his arms. She was unconscious and wrapped in a wet blanket. Little Joe, who was crawling beside her, was soaked but thankfully awake. She put Little Joe on his back, and he held on. Adam had no idea where Jess got the water from, but he knew it had saved their lives. “Get them out of here, Adam.” She yelled in his ear.

           “I’m not leaving you!” He yelled back.

           “I’m right behind you.” She shoved him in the shoulders to get him to move forward. “Please, Adam, get them out. They need you.”

           Adam pushed through the heat and out an opening. As soon as he stepped out of the inferno, the roof collapsed. 

Adam woke up screaming. “Adam, are you okay?” Ben stood at Adam’s open door.

“I’m okay. It was just a bad dream.” He pulled himself into a sitting position. “It was just a bad dream.” He repeated.

The worried look did not disappear from Ben’s face. “You look a little shaken. What was your dream about?”

“Pa, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine. Go back to bed.”

Ben closed the door to Adam’s room. Adam waited until he heard Ben’s bedroom door close before he moved. He quickly and quietly put on his clothes and boots. He stealthily walked towards his brothers’ bedrooms, checking on each one of them in turn. They were both peacefully dreaming. He walked down the stairs, being sure to step over the creaky eight-step. Once he made it into the main room. He fixed himself a cup of coffee and tried to calm the fear still wrapped around his heart. It had only been a dream. He knew that, so why couldn’t he shake the fear? At least this early morning was good for one thing: he could finish his chores early and be at Jess’s for lunch.

Adam was heading out the door when Hop Sing awoke to start the family’s breakfast. Before Hop Sing could protest, he smiled, saying, “There is work to be done, Hop Sing. I’ll eat after it’s finished.”

By the time Ben Hoss and Little Joe had finished their breakfast, Adam had finished all his morning chores. As Adam sat in his usual seat, he poured another cup of coffee and pilled his plate with eggs and sausage. He looked to Little Joe and Hoss, “I’m going to the Howards today. Would you like to join me?”

“Yes,” Joe yelled excitedly.

“You have to finish your chores first,” Ben interjected.

Joe looked to Ben, “Yes, sir, Pa.”

“I’d love to see the new foal. George told me it’s almost golden.” Hoss put in.

Adam turned to Ben, “Jess wanted to discuss breeding Sunlight with some of our stallions. I think Arrow could breed a few more foals.”

Be smiled, “Then I guess we will all see the Howards today, but chores first.” The whole table cheered. It was lunchtime before the four Cartwrights reached Howard’s door. Sally unsurprisingly met them first. “Uncle Adam, I’m so glad you came.” She grabbed his hand and began to pull him toward the barn.

“Have you decided what you are going to name it?”

They stopped halfway between the house and the barn when George approached them. “I prefer Sport. Mr. Cartwright, Uncle Adam. Jess and Jed are in the house.”

Ben spoke first, “You mean Jedediah Marks.”

“Yes, sir, he’s our foreman. Come on, Hoss, Little Joe. I’ll show you the new foal. We may have to start bottle-feeding him. I want your opinion.” The three boys started to walk toward the barn. When Sally didn’t follow, George said, “Sally, the adults need to talk.” He rolled his eyes at her. Sally let go of Adam’s hand and ran towards the barn.

Adam and Ben turned toward the house. Ben smiled, “That boy has grown up.”

“He really has. Now, come on, let’s go talk to Jess about breeding Sunlight and Arrow.” Adam put a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Then I’ll have an excuse to come and see them as often as I want.”

Once the two men reached the door, they heard Jess, “Are you sure five men will be enough, Jed? This is a big project.”

“Yes, ma’am, I’m sure.”

Adam opened the door but didn’t step inside, “May we come in?”

Her face lit up when she saw him, “Adam, Ben, of course, come in.” She stood from the desk. “I didn’t expect you until supper.”

Adam smiled, “Is it okay that we are early?”

She smiled, “Yes, of course, but I haven’t finished my work for today.”

Jedediah stood beside her, “Ms. Jessica, you have been working too hard. Besides, this is business.” He winked at Adam. As he turned to leave the room, he shook Ben’s hand, “It’s nice to see you, Mr. Cartwright.”

“You as well, Jed.”

She looked at the two men, “Please come sit.” They followed her to the table. “Would you like coffee?”

Ben smiled at her as she moved into the kitchen, “Please.” She came back to the table with three cups and some biscuits. She left and came back with the coffee. Ben watched his son; it did his heart good to see such a peaceful look on Adam’s face. As she came back to the table, Adam continued to watch her. “Thank you,” Ben took the cup she handed him. She gave one to Adam and took one from herself.

She sat beside Adam, and Ben didn’t miss how she faced Ben, but her body was turned to Adam. “Now to business.” She smiled at him. “I wanted to breed Sunlight with at least one of your stallions. Adam suggested Arrow.”

“He has a great bloodline,” Adam interjected.

“I’m not disputing that. And I can afford to pay a traditional stud fee, but I have a proposition for you.” She locked eyes with Ben. Her gray eyes held a cold and calculating look. He had seen that look before in Adam’s eyes.

“And what is that?” Ben sat down his cup. This had just become an actual business meeting. He was no longer looking at who he hoped would be his future daughter-in-law. He was looking at a brilliant, very cunning businesswoman.

“A trade. I have two mares that can be bred right now. Sunlight is my better mare. If you allow my mares to breed with Arrow once the foals are born, we will flip for the choice of foals.”

“And why would I agree to that? I do not see the benefit for me.”

She poured them both another cup of coffee. “I take all the risk.”

Ben smiled. It had been agreed that Ben would make this decision, even though Arrow was Adam’s horse. They didn’t want Jess to believe Arrow was being given to her because of him. “I think I can agree to that.”

She smiled, holding out her hand for Ben to shake. Ben took it and shook it. “Now that’s settled, let’s eat.” She stood from the table and opened the outside door. “George, Little Joe, Hoss, Sally, time to eat!” She turned back to Ben and Adam. “George hasn’t left Sunlight’s side since Joe’s party.”

“He told Hoss the foal isn’t nursing.” Adam turned to her.

“The foal is fine. George is just worrying.”

“He really likes animals, doesn’t he?” Ben added.

“He really does. I think he got it from Daddy. That was the only redeemable thing about him.” She came back with the plates from the cabinet.

“He wasn’t always a bad person,” Ben added, taking the plates from her.

“No, he wasn’t, but with all due respect, you weren’t there when he was at his worst.” Ben nodded. The four others ran towards the door, but Jess stopped them. “Wash first.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sally called from the door.

As they gathered around the table, they realized they were short two chairs. Adam stood. “I’ll sit outside with Jess.” Jess and Adam picked up their plates and sat in the two rocking chairs. A peaceful silence fell between them.

They sat that way until Joe and Sally ran out of the house. George and Hoss came out shortly after and walked into the barn. Ben came out last. “I’m going to head to the ranch. Hoss and George are coming with me. Hoss wants to show George some tricks in case the foal needs help.” They watched as the two boys walked out of the barn with three saddled horses. “Make sure Little Joe comes home with you.”

Adam nodded, “Yes, sir.” After the three rode off, Adam and Jess walked into the house.

Jess walked over to the sink and began to wash the dishes. Adam stood beside her and helped her dry. She smiled at him, “You don’t have to help.”

“I know, I want to.” He took a plate after he dried it and put it in the cabinet. “So, are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“What he did?”

“What, who did?”

“Finn. Are you going to tell me?”

She smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She flung water at him playfully. “No.”

He threw the towel on his shoulder toward her, and she ducked. “Why not?”

“If I tell you, you will track him down and kill him.”

“Finn’s not dead?” With the dishes done, Adam pulled her into the sitting room. He pulled them both into a sitting position.

“No, he’s not. I took George and Sally and ran. I only wish I had dared to do it before we left the first time.”

“Jess, you did what you thought was best.” Adam saw how much pain she kept hidden from the world.

“I did, but Adam, we wasted so much time. And the thought that I could have lost you.”

“Sweetheart, you could never lose me. My heart always belonged to you.” He pulled her closer.

“No, Adam, you could have moved on and had a great life.”  She shook herself, “But let’s move on to happier things. I want to show you Sunlight’s foal.”
He allowed her to lead him out the door and into the barn. He was amazed at how quickly she shed the darkness around her like a coat. The golden colt had three white socks and a white line down his snout. “George wants to name him Sport, but I don’t know if I want him to name him. If I’m going to sell him, George can’t get attached.”

“Talk to him. He’s old enough to understand Jess.”

She turned to him, “I know he is, but I still want to protect him as long as possible.”

Adam pulled her to his side, “He will always need you, but he is growing up. Your job now is to make sure he doesn’t do it too fast.

“Darling, Can I ask you a favor?”

“What?”

“Mother’s birthday is coming up at the end of the month. Can Sally and George spend the day with you?” She leaned into him and closed her eyes.

The rubble of his voice calmed her. “Of course, they can. They can stay all week if they want to. But you know it’s okay for them to see you have a hard day.”

She didn’t open her eyes, “Did you let Hoss or Joe when you mourned Marie.”

“No, but I didn’t have time to mourn.”  She pulled away from him and looked quizzical. He smirked and answered the question in her eyes. “I’ll tell you when you tell me.

She smiled at him, “That’s fair.

Adam rode into The Howards ranch almost two weeks later. He let Arrow into the paddock and unhooked the horses from the wagon.  He gave them both some water and hay. Jess met him at the door. “Adam, get out of the cold. Thank you again for letting Sally and George stay with you.”

“Of course, having more kids in the house keeps Pa young. And they will keep Little Joe and Hoss busy.” He shook out of his coat. “This cold weather came out of nowhere.”

She placed a cup of coffee in his hand, “Come sit. Did you put Arrow in the paddock? Sally and George are not here. They will be home soon.”

“I did. I know I wanted to see you first. Be careful with Arrow. He can be a little temperamental.” He took a sip of his coffee and smiled at her.

“Arrow has always liked me. I don’t think he will be a problem.”  She smiled back at him.

He kissed her cheek as he walked toward the settee, “Just like me.” Jess sat at her desk with a book in her hand.  A peaceful quiet settled between them. Adam sat enjoying the quiet and the coffee. Once his coffee ran out, Jess got up, filled it up without saying a word, and sat back down without looking up from her book. He took a sip of his new cup of coffee. “You like to take care of people, don’t you?”

She stopped what she was doing, “I suppose, but I was never given much choice. I have always taken care of the people I love.”

He walked toward her, holding her hands in his own. She stood on tiptoe and met her lips with his.

Once they broke apart, a self-satisfied smile played on his lips. “Oh, I almost forgot. I got this for you.” He walked over to his coat. He pulled a small box out of the pocket. She looked at him questionably. He laughed, “I saw it in San Francisco and thought of you.”

“Adam, you shouldn’t have.” She took the box and unwrapped it. Her eyes lit up as she lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a thin gold and silver chain wound together. The pendant was a small, half-silver, half-gold heart. “Adam, this is stunning, but I can’t take this. It’s too much.”

He removed the necklace from the box and placed it around her neck. “I like to take care of the people I love, too. You have to get used to me taking care of you.” He kissed her temple. They heard Sally and George ride up with Little Joe at that moment. “Of course, Joe came with them.” He groaned.

She pulled away from him, “And why not? He wanted some of my famous biscuits. She laughed. “Thank you again.”

He opened the door, “Sweetheart, I would do anything for you. You only have to let me.” He tipped his hat to her as he walked out the door. Joe ran up to them, “Aunt Jessy.”

“Yes, Little Joe?”

“Do you have any leftover lunch? Sally wouldn’t let me have her biscuit today.”

“Of course,” she winked at Adam, still standing in the doorway. She returned from the kitchen with four biscuits wrapped in a cloth.

“You are spoiling him.” Adam rolled his eyes.

“And so what if I am?” He laughed at her as they all walked outside.

She followed him out with Sally and George’s things in hand, which had been sitting by the door.  “I’ll see you two in a few days.” She threw bags into the back of the wagon.

“See you in a few days,” Sally called as she climbed into the wagon.

George went to Jess and hugged her. “I’ll see you soon, JJ. Please don’t do anything stupid.” He whispered to her.

She hugged him back, “I won’t, George, I promise. I’ll see you soon.”

Adam pulled her close, “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you? It may not be proper, but I think we can get away with it since Jed and the other ranch hands are here.”

She smiled at him. The kind of smile that made his heart melt.  “Don’t you dare. You have work to do on the Ponderosa. I will be fine. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Okay, Sweetheart, if you’re sure?”

“I’m sure. Just take care of my siblings.”

He smiled and climbed into the seat of the wagon. “Yes, ma’am. Sally, do you want to drive?”

“Can I, Uncle Adam?” He laughed and pulled her into the driver’s seat with him.

The next day, Adam was surprised when Geroge began to help him unload hay. George broke the silence eventually. “You need to go see her.”

“She doesn’t want me there. She will be okay.”

“No, she won’t. You don’t understand Uncle Adam. So much weight has been on her shoulders for so long. She doesn’t know how to let anyone take some of that weight.”

“Big man, I think Jess is stronger than you give her credit for. She will be okay. And as much as I want to take some of the weight off of her, I can’t if she doesn’t let me.”

“Adam,” Adam stopped working, startled.  George had never called Adam by only his first name before. It had always been Mr. Cartwright or Uncle Adam. “She has protected Sally and me more times over the years than I can count. But you don’t know all she gave up last time we left.”

Adam leaned against his pitchfork, “What do you mean?”

George rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Jess swore me to secrecy.”

“Then you shouldn’t have brought it up. Now tell me.” Nothing in his tone or body language conveyed the urgency he felt. Maybe now he could finally understand.

George sat on top of the hay. “You may want to sit.” He motioned to the place beside him.

Adam remained standing, “Tell me, George.”

“Sally doesn’t know.” His face was deadly serious. Adam nodded. George nodded, “She is going to kill me, but I guess you have a right to know.” He stopped, and after a few minutes of checking to ensure they could not be overheard, he finally spoke. “In one of the few sober moments Finn had before we left, he threatened to kill you and Ben if Jess ran off with you. He told her if she wanted to be a part of the Cartwrights so much, she could rot in the grave with her lover and the patriarch.”

Adam felt like he had been punched in the jaw. “What?”

George nodded, “There’s more.”

“How can there be more?”

George looked at him sadly, “Adam, you always knew Finn was a mean drunk. Do you think it got any better once we left the place where we would have people who could protect us?”

“No, but why didn’t she tell me I could have protected her, protected all of you.”

“She wasn’t willing to play games with your life or Ben’s. What would have happened to the Ponderosa if the two of you had been killed? What would have happened to Hoss and Little Joe, not to mention Marie?”

Adam did sit then, even though it seemed more like his legs gave out. “She should have told me.”

“Maybe, but she wouldn’t have wanted you to blame anyone other than her. Even though I’ve blamed Finn my whole life.” he chuckled, but it sounded like a dying cat.

“What did you blame him for?”

“He took Sally and me away, too. This was our home. You were my uncle as much as you were her fiancé.”

“How do you know about this?”

One night, Sally had a nightmare about you abandoning us. Since we never received any letters from any of you.” That led to a long and tearful conversation. After JJ got Sally to sleep, I asked for the full story, and for whatever reason, JJ gave it to me.”

“George, we wrote you.”

George’s head fell, “I know that now. Finn kept those letters from us as he did with many things.” Adam touched his shoulder, and George continued, “She gave us a childhood, Sally and I. Because of her, we always knew we were safe and cared for.”

“Thank you for telling me, George.”

George nodded, “Just promise me you will care for her.”

Adam nodded, “You have my word.”

George stood, “That’s all I can ask.” He held out a hand to Adam, who took it. “Oh, and Uncle Adam, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Finn told us that if we ever ran from him, we would regret it.” Adam could hear a little of the fear in his voice.

Adam knew what George wanted to hear, “He will never touch any of you again.”

“Thank you.” They went back to work. George acted like a colossal weight lifted from his shoulders. Adam knew it had settled on him, and somehow, he felt lighter than he had in years.

That night, Adam sat in his favorite blue chair, wrestling with the knowledge that Jess had left to keep him and his family safe. It tore at his heart to think Jess had taken on so much alone. Ben pulled him out of his thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”

“Can I marry her, Pa? I will always love her, but can I build a life with her? We both have changed so much.”

“Son, if you love her, then you will figure everything else out. It’s not the other way around. My relationship with Marie should show you that.” Ben smiled as he always did when he talked about any of his wives.

“You’re right, Pa. I guess my education just got in the way of my thinking.”

 

Ben rode towards Marie’s grave the next day as if something had pulled him in that direction.  Maybe his conversation with Adam had stirred up some old emotions. Perhaps he wanted to tell her that Adam had finally found his happily ever after.  He dismounted and walked toward the graves. He smiled when he saw the fresh flowers lying on both. Jess must have been here today or yesterday. The thought made him smile.

He patted the headstone, “Marie, my love. You would have loved to help plan the wedding.” After a few minutes of standing there, he headed to Jess’s ranch.

Jed greeted him first. He stood by the paddock, patting Sunlight’s nose. “Good afternoon, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Afternoon Jed, have you seen Jess?” He said uneasily, something didn’t feel right.

Jed shook his head. “I haven’t seen Ms. Jessica today. She rode out first thing this morning. She left mine and the boys’ breakfast on the steps. The door was locked up tight. I thought she went to see her mama?”

“I was just there, she wasn’t. We need to find her. I’ll ride back to the Ponderosa and get my hands. Can you round up the ones here?”

“Ms. Jessica is going to be mad when we find her if we all stop work just to look for her.”

Ben chuckled, “You let me worry about that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You start on your end. I will start on mine, and we will meet at the graves if we find anything.” The command in his voice made clear that he wasn’t asking.

“Yes, sir,” Jed nodded.

Ben rode up to his house fast and hard. As luck would have it, George sat on the porch with Joe, playing checkers. “Joe, where is Adam?” Ben asked as he handed the horse to a stable hand. “I need a fresh one. And one for Adam.” He whispered to the hand who nodded.

“He is breaking broncs with Hoss. What’s wrong, Pa?”

Ben smiled, “Oh, nothing, son. I need to see him. Sally in the house?”

“Yes, sir.”

Ben walked until he was out of sight of the two boys, then started running. He quickly made it to where Hoss was standing. “Hoss, where is Adam?” A little more urgently than he had intended. Hoss pointed. Ben looked up to see Adam sitting atop a stallion, trying to knock Adam off, bucking back and forth. Ben waited. Adam hung on until the young horse calmed into a walk. Adam jumped off with a massive smile on his face. It fell when he saw Ben. “Pa, what is it? I thought you were on the south range today.”

Ben was quiet for a few minutes, “I think Jess is missing. I have a bad feeling.”

“What do you mean missing?” Hoss asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling.”

Ben began to recount the events of the morning. Once he finished, he saw a mask fall over Adam’s face. He hadn’t seen that look since Marie died. “Pa,” Adam said, “Last time you had a bad feeling was when Maire died. I’m not taking any chances. Let’s go find her.” Ben approached the bunkhouse to gather the men. Hoss and Adam walked calmly toward the barn. “Hoss, will you stay here with Sally, Joe, and George? There is no need to worry them until we know something.” Hoss nodded. Adam placed a hand on Hoss’s shoulder. “Thank you, brother.” Adam’s smile was filled with worry.

Jed, Ben, and Adam divided the hands into three teams and spread out in all directions. They found nothing. When night fell, they all started to worry.  “We will start searching again at first light tomorrow.”

Jed nodded, “I’m sorry I doubted you, Mr. Cartwright.”

Ben nodded, “See you in the morning, Jed.” Ben kicked his horse and caught up with Adam. “We will find her son.”

He did not look at Ben but nodded, “I would tear the world apart looking for her.” They were silent for the rest of the ride home.

Hoss jumped up from the chair he was sitting in when they walked through the door, “Nothing.” Ben said, looking at his oldest son. “You know what we have to do, Adam.”

“Yes, I know.” Adam turned to Hoss, “Where are they?” He looked like he had aged five years in one day.

“Do you want me to do it?” Ben asked.

“No, no, I need to do it.” He turned to the stairs. “Hoss, will you come with me?” Hoss nodded. They walked up the stairs very slowly. Adam acted as though every step added ten pounds to his shoulders.

They reached the landing and heard George ending a story. “The dark knight fell in love with the sun princess, and they lived happily ever after.”

Adam and Hoss stood in the doorway as George finished his story. “That was very good, George. Am I the dark knight?” He sat in the middle of the floor, pulling Sally close.

George winked at him, “I’ll never tell.”

Adam took a deep breath, “I have some news.”

“What is it, Uncle Adam? You are shaking. Are you cold?” Sally pulled herself closer to him.

“No, BlueBell, I’m not cold. Jess is missing. We have looked, and we can’t find her.”

“What do you mean, Uncle Adam? Missing?” Sally buried her face into his shirt.

It took at least ten minutes before anyone spoke. “We will find her, BlueBell, I promise.”

They all sat quietly for another ten minutes before George whispered, “Have you been looking for her all day?” Adam nodded. George let his head drop. He looked to Hoss, unable to look at Adam. “This is all my fault.”

“This isn’t your fault, George. There’s nothing you could have done.” Hoss said, who was still standing in the doorway.

“No, you don’t understand.”

Then explain it to us.” Sally was now asleep, but she was holding on tightly to Adam.

George stood and spoke to Hoss, not Adam. “About a week ago, we got a letter from Finn. He claimed he knew where we were and would take us back, that we were ungrateful and spoiled for leaving him. He said he would be here this week.”

George bravely turned to Adam; Adam’s voice was calm as he spoke. “Did Jess know this?”

“Yes, I gave it to her. She read it and threw it in the fire.”

Adam pulled Sally off him and laid her down. He stood, “That’s why she asked me if you two could stay here. And why you told me to go see her.”

George nodded, “She didn’t think Finn would come, but if he did, she wanted to be sure we were safe.”

“She could have stayed here too,” Hoss added.

“She refused to run from him. But she wanted to make sure he couldn’t get to us.”

Adam pulled the boy into a hug. Tears wet Adam’s shirt, “It’s my fault. I should have told you sooner. I should have made her come with us.”

Adam rubbed his head, “It’s Finn’s fault, not yours. It is not your job to protect her against Finn.”

“I could have stopped this.” George pulled away from him and walked towards Sally.

“George,” Adam’s voice was soft. “Let me tell a story about your sister. You don’t remember your mama, do you?”

“Some, but I mostly remember her being sick in the hospital in San Francisco.”

Jess and I had just started seeing each other when she got sick for the first time. You may have been four, maybe five. We were only kids ourselves. She didn’t tell me anything was wrong. It took about three weeks for me to find out.”

“How did you find out?”

“She passed out when we went for a ride. Luckily, we were dismounting, and I caught her before she fell and hurt herself. When she woke up, she finally told me she had been caring for her mama, you, and Sally during the day and trying to help Finn with the ranch at night. She hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in three weeks. She was exhausted.”

“Uncle Adam, I appreciate the story but don’t see the point.”

“My point is that your sister has always felt she had to do everything herself. She has never been good at letting other people help her. This was not your fault, George.” He patted Sally’s head. “Now get some sleep. It’s your job to keep Sally and Little Joe distracted. Do you think you can do that?”

George nodded, “Just promise me you will find her.”

“I promise.” Adam quietly closed the door and was met by Hoss on the other side. “We have to go tell Little Joe.” He ran a hand through his hair.

Hoss turned to him, “I already did while you were talking with George. He took it as well as Sally did.”

Adam let out a shaky breath, “Thank you. I wasn’t sure I had the heart to do that again.”

“Adam, we are going to find her. You have to believe that.”
Adam nodded, “I do. It would kill me to lose her a second time. So not finding her isn’t an option.” Hoss pulled Adam into a hug as his composure fell. Adam pulled away after several minutes, regaining control of his emotions.

“We can’t lose hope. We must go into town tomorrow and ensure they don’t leave on the stage. I don’t think any left today. One of us also needs to stay here. He won’t try to escape without Sally and George if we are lucky.

There was a kind of grimace that crossed Adam’s face, “You and I both know she would die before she let him anywhere near them.”

They started to walk down the stairs. “She may not have much of a choice. What is keeping them safe is that he, at least for the moment, has no idea where they are. It will not be hard to put together, though.” Hoss led the way down.

“Jess gave us 48 hours, at most, to find her. After that, they will disappear, with or without George and Sally. Finn will not risk staying here long, ” Ben said as they reached him. “Hoss you go into town, I’ll stay here with Sally, George, and Joe. Adam, you head up the search party. The pair nodded at their Pa. “Oh, and Hoss send for the sheriff. Maybe he can offer some help.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, we all need to get some sleep. We won’t help Jess if we can’t think straight.” He sat. Hoss immediately went up the stairs to his room. It had been a taxing day for all of them. Adam did not follow. Instead, he sat by the fire, his mind far away. Ben watched him for a moment before heading up the stairs himself.

 

           Jess ran into him, crying. She struck him with a force that almost knocked him to the ground. “Sweetheart, what is the matter? Tell me what’s wrong.”

           She did not speak but continued to cry into his chest. George ran up after her, “You promised. How could you go back on your word.”

           Adam looked at him confused but held on tight to Jess. “What are you talking about?” Jess pulled away far enough that Adam saw the bruises on her face, one on her left cheek and the other above her right eye. There was also a cut on her lip.  “Jess, what happened?” He pulled her a little farther away so he could inspect her properly and saw more bruises that littered her body.

           “You didn’t keep your promise,” As she said this, she disappeared like a cloud of smoke. “You let him take me.” He heard as he screamed her name.

 

He woke with a start in the chair downstairs. There was a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He didn’t remember falling asleep. “I promise I will find you. Just hold on.” He spoke to the night. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but those kinds of nightmares made him scared to close his eyes again. He knew he wouldn’t sleep soundly again until she was safe. He walked up to the desk and pulled out the map they had used to divide the parties. She had to be close. Finn was smart, but he wasn’t that smart.

Adam stared at the map until he heard footsteps on the stairs. “Adam, did you get any sleep last night?” Ben, the ever-early riser, sat slipping on his boots.

“No, nightmares. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“I thought so. No, you didn’t wake me. Adam, Jess is strong. She is not going to give up without a fight.”

“I know she is. How could she not be, with a father like Finn? I can’t lose her again, Pa. I can’t. You said it yourself: Finn will take her and run if we don’t find her today.”

“Son.” Ben took a ring out of his pocket and sat it on the edge of the desk. A gold chain through it. “I want you to have this when we find her.”

Adam looked up and took the ring gingerly, “Ma’s ring?”

“I always thought you would give it to her.”

Adam took the chain and placed it around his neck. “Thank you, Pa.”

“It has always belonged to your wife. I held on to it for you until you found her.”  Ben looked down at the map now covered in Adam’s handwriting. “So, where do you think they are?”

Adam looked back down at the map. “They would have to be in this region since we didn’t see any sign of them yesterday. I think they are here. He pointed to a place on the map that had been circled. “There is a river nearby, so there is plenty of fresh water and high enough that they would see anyone coming from at least a mile away.”

“So, we start searching there.”

Adam looked up, “Not we, Pa, me. If I’m right, a large search party would never get close. Alone, I may have a chance.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? You don’t know how many men he has with him.”

Adam chuckled, “No, I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but it’s my only idea.”

“At least take Jed with you.”

Adam stood. “No, Pa, I’m not waiting for him. I’m leaving. With any luck, I’ll get there before they have a chance to know what is happening.” He slipped on his gun belt.

“Be careful, son. Don’t make me lose both of you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Pa. I’ll be back soon.”

He dismounted and continued on foot. He couldn’t risk being heard. He was right; someone was here. He saw at least six empty whiskey bottles around the camp. He dropped into a low crawl. The last thing he wanted was to get caught before he knew if Jess was there.

On cue, he heard a voice, “Get up, you lazy old man!” Adam recognized that voice and felt his stomach drop off from under him. It was Jed. “We have to get going.”

Adam heard a voice in response. “I already told you we are not leaving without the little ones.” It had been years since he listened to that high-pitched cadence, Finn.

“You may not have a choice. The Cartwrights will shoot you dead now. They have that house locked up tighter than the army would. You should have taken them first. Jessica would have followed like a lamb.”

“Jessica is no use to me now. She is too headstrong. That Cartwright has poisoned her.” Adam set his jaw. It took every ounce of self-control not to jump up from his hiding spot.

“If you had done like I told you, they wouldn’t have known anything until you were out of the territory.”

“She spotted me before I had a chance to get to Sally and George. You should grab the children so we can leave.”

“Are you stupid as well as ugly? If I touched either one of them, I’d be dead. Besides, the Cartwrights won’t let them out of their sight. Now feed her. And this time, don’t let her get your knife.”

“She won’t. I gave her a reason to think twice.”

Jed grunted, “You are just lucky she didn’t get your gun.”

Adam ground his teeth as he waited. Several minutes before, Finn disappeared into one of the caves while Jed mounted and rode off. Adam would make them both pay, but first, he had to find Jess.

A few minutes passed before Adam moved, slowly walking to the cave entrance. Adam sat on an overturned crate, gun pointed to the opening. Fifteen minutes later, Finn came back with an empty plate. He froze when he saw Adam but quickly regained his composure.  It had been six years since they had laid eyes on each other. Adam was now bigger and stronger than he had been. He had an icy calm that he had perfected over the years.

Finn, on the other hand, looked worse. His skin was now yellow and puffy. It was no doubt because of his drinking. “Finn, long time no see.” This was the side of Adam Cartwright that terrified people, the one Jess had never seen.

“Adam, what are you doing here?” Finn shot him a smile that would have been charming if he had all his teeth.

“Where is she, Finn?”

“Who? Say I don’t like to have a gun pointed at me.”

“And I don’t like having my fiancée stolen, but we can’t always get what we want. Now toss it.” He motioned to the gun at Finn’s belt.

Finn did as he was told. “Fiancée, huh, I didn’t see a ring. It took me over a year to find them. You had plenty of time to ask her.”

“And the one in your boot. Will you answer my question, or am I carrying you to the sheriff?” Adam raised an eyebrow, pointing the gun at his right knee.

Finn chuckled, “Okay, Adam, I get it, but you know you will never find her. Not that I understand why you want her. She is damaged.”

“The fact that you don’t know how special she is says more about you than her. You were allowed to abuse her and her kind heart. That’s over now.” Adam stood and placed the gun barrel to his chest, “Now. Where. Is. She.”

“You will never find her.” Adam hit him in the jaw, knocking him down.

He spit blood on the ground. “You have grown a backbone. You wouldn’t have dared hit me the last time we met.” He stood.

Adam holstered his six-shooter. “A lot can change in six years.”

Adam swung again, but this time, Finn blocked it. “She has been calling for you. Cried in her sleep last night, something about you not coming back.” Adam aimed for his gut. Finn doubled over. Adam grabbed the crate and hit him on the back.  Finn returned Adam’s blow. Adam backed up a step but didn’t fall.

“You could have your choice of girls. Why pick my no-good daughter.” Finn continued to taunt Adam. Adam timed the hit perfectly, knocking Finn out. It earned him a hit on his jaw, but Finn lay unconscious on the ground in front of him.

Adam tied his hands and feet with the rope tightly. Adam took the rocks from the ground and began to walk into the cave, using the stones to mark the path. He searched for an hour but found nothing besides food on the ground halfway up the path. After another hour passed, he knew he needed to get Finn to the sheriff before he awoke. Then, he would get Hoss and the rest of the Ponderosa ranch hand to help him search the caves. But he couldn’t risk Jed finding out anything had changed. Adam rode faster than would have been considered safe with an unconscious man. Since it was Finn, he rode even quicker.

He threw Finn into a cell without a word, locked it, and tossed the keys to the sheriff.  “He kidnapped his daughter.” Adam’s cold expression told the sheriff all he needed to know.

“At least he is alive.”

“If I see him again, he won’t be. Adam pushed the door open and saw Hoss.

“Did you find her?” Hoss asked hopefully.

The disappointment on his face was all the answer Hoss needed.

Adam and Hoss were both out of breath once they reached the front porch. Ben stood at the door. “Boys, what is wrong?”

Adam dismounted, “Pa, you have to keep Sally and George away from Jed. He’s working with Finn.”

“Finn, you found him?” Ben questioned.

Adam nodded, “He’s in jail.”

“Adam,” Ben stopped him from remounting the exhausted horse. He grabbed him by the shoulders, “We found her.”

“What?” Adam’s eyes were wide.

Ben gave him a half smile, “Well, she found us. She walked through the front door, hugged Sally and George, then collapsed.”

At that moment, Jed rode up, “I heard you found her.” He dismounted, and Adam, before he could stop himself, hit Jed over the head. Jed’s eyes were full of fear and confusion. Ben put a hand on Adam’s arm to stop him.

I sent Finn on his way with several broken bones.” He hit Jed in the stomach. “Can you imagine what I’m going to do to you?”

Adam began to beat on Jed mercilessly until a voice pulled him out of his rage. “Uncle Adam!” It was George. He stood in the doorway of the house. “Before you kill him, let JJ wake up. It’s her decision what you do to him.” Jed spit out blood on the ground.

Adam looked at George as he spoke, “I think you’re right, George.” Adam hit Jed once more, knocking him out. “Hoss, throw him in the barn.” Hoss threw the man over his shoulder.

Adam looked back to George. “Where is she?”

“Upstairs, I sent one of the hands for Doc Martin.”

Adam took the steps two at a time. Adam walked up to the bed, Sally at the foot.  Jess had a sizable bruise above her left eye. Her lip was split. Adam grabbed Jess’s hand and almost fell to his knees in relief. “Thank God.” He kissed her forehead.

“Thank you for keeping your promise, Uncle Adam.” Sally smiled at him.

Once he straightened, Ben placed a hand on his shoulder. “She must have been walking for hours. She was barefoot, and her feet were bleeding when she got here. Hop Sing wrapped them. She has been in and out of consciousness. We will have to wait for Doc Martin, but I think she will be okay.”

Hoss, who had followed them, lured Sally and George out of the room with promises of sweets, but not before he patted Jess’s hand in reassurance. “You’ll be okay.” He said in his gentle way. Hoss and Ben left with Sally and Geroge in tow. They left Adam and Jess alone.

“Rest, Sweetheart.” Adam smiled at her.

Adam began to rub circles on the back of Jess’s hand with his thumb. He stopped when he heard Doc Martin coming in. He watched silently as the doctor checked her for other injuries and unwrapped her feet. “Tell your cook he did well.” Adam nodded again. The doctor put some mixture on her feet and then rewrapped them.

He was snapping his bag closed before Adam spoke, “Tell me she is going to be okay.”

“Darling, I’m going … to fine. Tell him there is nothing to worry about, Doc.” Her speech was slurred.

“In my professional opinion, she will be fine. Her feet should heal nicely. There are no broken bones. But you, young lady, need to stay in bed.”

Jess nodded. “Yes, Doc.”

“I’ll be sure she stays off her feet, doc.” Adam walked Doc Martin towards the door. “Thank you for coming, Doc.”

Adam shook his hand and walked him to the door. Adam stood at the door for a few minutes before George walked out of the kitchen with a plate full of food and a glass. “Hop Sing told me to make sure you eat. You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. You know she will kill you if she found out.” Adam took the cup and sat at the table. George sat the plate in front of him.

Adam plastered on a smile, “I know.” He noticed Sally and Little Joe hid in the doorway. “BlueBell, Little Joe, will you sit with Jess while I talk to George.”

“Okay, Uncle Adam,” Sally grabbed Little Joe and dragged him up the stairs.

George and Adam sat at the long table for several minutes before George spoke, “Did you kill him?”

“No, he’s in jail. Do you want him dead?” Adam asked between sips.

George sat thinking for a few minutes, “I don’t want his blood on your hands, but It would lie to say that I would want him to come back.”

“Don’t worry. He knows if I ever see his face again. He has signed his death warrant.” The smile on Adam’s face made George’s blood run cold. “I’m not the same boy I was six years ago.”

“I’m glad you like me,” George replied nervously.

“That reminds me,” Adam sat his cup down, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Once Jess wakes up, I will ask her to marry me, but I want your blessings before I do.”

George looked shocked, “You are asking me for my blessing?” Adam nodded. “Do you even have to ask? I have always known you belonged together, even as a child. How could I ever stand in the way of that.”

Adam smiled, “I’m glad you feel that way.”  He shook George’s hand.

George smirked at him, “Besides, if I didn’t say yes, you would have married her anyway.”

Hop Sing left the kitchen and took Adam’s plate and cup. “Thank you, Hop Sing.”

“Mr. Cartwright, Ms. Jessica going be, okay?” The cook had become very fond of the Howards since he had met them. “She always very nice to me.”

He patted the man’s shoulder, “Yes, Hop Sing, she will be fine. Thank you.” Adam started up the stairs but looked back at George. “Get some rest, George. You’re safe now.” George nodded. Once Adam reached Jess’s room, he found Sally fast asleep beside her. Little Joe sat in the chair to her right.  Adam took the chair to her left, holding her hand, “You are going to be okay. You have to be.”

Adam smiled as he rolled over in bed. He was surprised to find the other side empty. He quickly dressed and walked down the stairs. He found Jess in the kitchen working happily with Hop Sing, humming to herself.  Her back was turned to him. Adam placed a figure to his lips, singling the older man to be silent. Adam reached around her and pulled her to him. She yelled in surprise but then relaxed. “What are you doing up?” he asked into her hair.

           “What do you mean? I’m making breakfast.”

           “You left me, Sweetheart.” He spoke into her neck.

           She turned around to face him, laughing. He didn’t break his hold, but there was more space between them now. “You didn’t make it easy, but we have responsibilities, husband.”

           He planted a kiss on her nose. He hummed, “Call me that again.”

           “Husband, you have a job to do.”

           “I can not tear myself away from you, wife.”

           “It’s only been a year. I think saying that is a little premature. Give it time, and you will get sick of me.” she teased.

           “Never.” He smirked at her. 

           “Pancakes?” she asked as she held the plate before him.

           He rolled his eyes but took the plate from her. “Pancakes?”

           “Trust me, you will like these.”

           “If you say so.” He sat down. She brought in another plate and two cups of coffee. She sat down beside him.

           “Wait,” There is something I need to tell you first.

           “What?” He turned to her.

           She took his face and kissed him, “I love you.”

           He returned the kiss, “I love you too,”

           They ate peacefully. Until Adam asked, “Why Pancakes?”

           She didn’t look up, “Oh, the baby wanted some.”

           “Okay,” Adam froze, “Wait, baby?” Adam looked down at her stomach.

           She nodded, “Yes, darling.”

 

Adam woke with a start. He was still in the chair beside Jess’s bed. Adam watched her chest rise and fall. Sally was still lying beside her. Little Joe was watching him.

“What is it?”

Joe looked at him, “You were talking in your sleep again.”

“What did I say?”

“Something about the best pancakes you ever had.”

Adam smiled, “That they were. How long was I asleep?”

Little Joe shrugged, “Not long, maybe an hour.”

Adam nodded, “Go to bed, Joe. I’m taking Sally to bed.” He stood, taking Sally in his arms and taking her to her room. “Sleep well, little BlueBell.”

When he laid her down, he heard her softly, “Thank you for keeping your promise.” He smiled down at her, walking out of her door. Adam walked down the stairs and checked all the doors and windows, ensuring they were all locked.

Instead of going to his room, he sat in the chair beside Jess’s bed. She hadn’t moved. He felt her forehead. She wasn’t warm. That was a good sign. He didn’t know how long he sat like that until he fell into an uneasy sleep.  He woke up early in the morning, did his chores, and checked on her again. She still slept peacefully.

Jess was alone in the room when she woke, causing her to panic. She screamed. Hop Sing made it to her first, with Adam just a little behind. They had both been in the kitchen. “Ms. Jessica, you okay? You safe.”

“Hop Sing. Where am I?”

“You are on the Ponderosa. Adam reached the door as she spoke, holding a cup of coffee. He sat it down while sitting on the bed and pulled her into himself, “Thank God, you’re awake. Hop Sing, go get her some food.”

“Adam, how did I get here?” She pulled away from him, but he held her tighter. “Where are Sally and George? Finn didn’t get to them, did he?” Her voice was pure panic, as she remembered the last week.

He smiled into her hair, “No, Sweetheart, they are safe, and so are you.  Finn is gone. I made sure of it.”

“Finn grabbed me. I got away from him, but…” She was cut off by Sally and George jumping on the bed. She smiled and pulled them to her. She was kissing them both on the head.

“JJ, you are awake.” Sally hugged her. Adam rose and sat in the chair beside the bed. Jess reached for his hand, and he took it. Ben, Hoss, Little Joe, and Hop Sing filled the room. Hop Sing handed the bowl to Adam, who helped her eat the broth carefully.

“It’s good to see you awake.” Ben placed a hand on her shoulders. They all stood there for a long time until Ben spoke again. “Okay, everyone, we have work to do. Sally George, Little Joe, you three have school. And you young lady need your rest.”

“Can’t we stay here with JJ today?” George asked.

“No,” Jess said, “You are going to school. I am fine. There is no need for the two of you to worry.  Everyone began to file out of the room. Adam let go of her hand, but she only held it tighter. He turned back to her. Her eyes were overflowing with tears.

That look pulled him back to her, “What is it, Sweetheart?”

“I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. I thought I had lost you.”

He saw how close he had come to losing her. He pulled her into his chest, “I’m not letting you get away from me again.”

. “What happened? How did I get here?”

Adam pulled her closer, “You walked. You made it in the front door and passed out. That was four days ago.” Adam stretched out on the bed beside her, forcing her to stay where she was while holding her close. He began to recount the last four days in detail. Once he finished, he asked, “Is what Jed said true? Did you know Finn was coming for you?”

She shook her head, “No, I think that is the worst part. I trusted him, and he betrayed me.”

“Sweetheart, that is not your fault. You will never see him again, I promise. I will keep you safe.

Jess turned his face toward her, “I’m glad they came for me first. If he had gotten to Sally or George. I would have never forgiven myself.”

“This self-sacrificing has to stop.” He rubbed her back.

“What are you talking about?” She asked.

“I know Jess.”

“Know what?”

“I know why you really left last time.”

“Oh, George told you?” She looked down at his chest.

Adam nodded, “You should have told me back then.” There was no accusation in his voice, just a deep sadness.

“What could you have done? At least now you know I left to keep you safe.  I would do it again. A million times, if it kept you and our family safe.” She snuggled closer to him, laying her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

“You are my family. How do you think being without you made me feel?”

“Like you were missing half your heart? I know, trust me, I do.” He felt a tear hit his skin. He didn’t know if it was hers or his.

He nodded, “Just make me a promise?”

“And what’s that?”

“Don’t spend another day away from me? Marry Me?”

“Darling, of course, all you had to do was ask.” He kissed the top of her head and slipped the ring on her hand from around the chain on his neck. She pulled away from him and looked into his face.  “I am not going anywhere ever again. Rest, darling.  You look as if you haven’t slept in days.”

He laughed, “That’s because I haven’t.” He fell into his first restful sleep in four days.

A week and a half later, Adam caught Jess as she began to walk gingerly down the stairs, flinching with every other step. He rushed to her, trying to take some of her weight. They were alone in the room. She had thought they had all left for the day’s work and had almost been right.  She smiled at him. “Adam, I’m okay. My feet have scabbed over.”

“Doc Martin said you should rest.” He helped her to the chair in the main room. “Besides, don’t you have a wedding to plan? That should keep you busy until your feet heal.” He smirked at her but only half teased.
“I have been resting all week. I have finished with the wedding planning. It’s your fault we invited the entire town. If I rest any more, I’m going to go crazy.”

He smiled at her, “I know, but just a few more days.” He leaned down and kissed her.

“Did you take care of Jed?”

Adam nodded, and so did she, “Are you going to tell me what happened with Finn?” He asked.

“Do you want the whole story or just this story?

“The whole story, always.”

She deflated, “I’ve never told anyone.”

Adam reached out and took both of her hands, “You can tell me. I want to know.” They sat together.

“Are you sure you want to know?” She looked at her feet.

Adam nodded. “Please, tell me. As ugly as it was, it is a part of you. I want to know every part of you.”

“Then will you tell me about Marie?”

He reached for her hands, careful to avoid the bruises that had begun to form on her wrists and arms. ” Yes, of course, Sweetheart. I will keep no secrets from my wife.”

“Then I will keep nothing from you, husband.” She begins her story by recounting the day they left on the stage.

Adam didn’t speak until she was finished. “So you are telling me he beat you when he got drunk and spent most of what little you earned on more whiskey?

She nodded, “That’s the short version. I protected Sally and George from most of it.  Sometimes, that made it worse for me. He hated me because I wasn’t my mother. He blamed me for her death, as well as other things.”

“You had nothing to do with your mother’s death.”

“Grife doesn’t always make sense. He couldn’t get over her death. He had to take his anger out on someone. Better me than Sally and George.”

“I’m going to kill…”

She pulled away from him. “No, you will not.” She cut him off, “We can’t change the past. But I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.” He would have given her the moon and stars if she had asked for them.

“Promise me that you will love our children if something ever happens to me. You will ensure they know they are the most important thing in the world to you.”

“Yes, Sweetheart, but nothing is going to happen to you. If you died, I would go to heaven and beg God to give you back to me.”

She kissed his cheek. “I love you too. Now you promised me no secrets. What happened to Marie.”

“What has Joe told you?”

“All I got out of him was that Ben left after Marie died. Ben disappeared.”

“He was so young when it happened. I don’t expect him to remember much else. I had only been home a year when it happened. We had just finished the house. It was a riding accident.”

Jess nodded, “After?”

“After something in Pa broke. I think he lost his faith in life. It took him weeks to get out of bed. Once he did, he packed up his things and left on a horse. He came back six months later. To this day, I still don’t know where he went or what he did. He won’t talk about it.”

“What did you do?”

“The only thing I could do. I ran the Ponderosa and cared for Hoss and Joe.”

“That is too much to take on alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you.”

Adam shrugged, “I wish you had been here too. Hoss helped where he could, but he was so young.”

“So were you.” She took his face in her hands.

“We all do what we have to.” He smiled at her as he strapped his gun belt and picked up his hat. “Oh, and I forgot to ask, when’s the date?” When she looked confused, he continued, “For our wedding, of course.”

She smiled, “In four weeks. That gives everyone enough time to get here. I know you wanted a few of your college friends here.”

He placed his hat playfully on her head, “I don’t care what the wedding looks like or who is there. I just want you to be my wife.”

Adam sat outside of the cell. The old man who had caused so much pain for him and his family lay on the other side of the bars, facing away from him. He was shivering, even though the room was warm. “What do you want, Cartwright?” The man spat through his chattering teeth without looking at him.

Adam couldn’t help it. He smiled, “I wanted to see the look on your face when you knew you lost.”

Finn laughed, “You think you won? You are a bigger fool than you seem.” He turned to face him.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away. I have nothing but time. I understand that is under your orders.” Finn then turned towards Adam and sat up.

“I thought it might be best. Sober you up.”

“Ask your question, Cartwright, and be on your way.” Finn locked his teeth together.

“What made you think you had the right to dictate her life? To make her leave?”

“The right, I’m her father. As far as why I forced her to leave.” Finn stood. There was clarity in his eyes. “I wasn’t going to give her to a man I couldn’t control.” He paused, then continued. “She needed to be taught a lesson.”

“And what lesson is that? That she couldn’t care about anyone other than you. That you needed to be her morning, noon, and night.  Finn wouldn’t look at him.  “Finn,” He said the name like it was poison. “I came here to warn you.”

“Warn me of what exactly.” He spat back. “They are my children. Under the law, I can do as I like.”

“I don’t care about the law. If you are ever seen in the Nevada territory again. I will make sure that is the last time you are seen.” There was an edge to his voice that considered the threat’s seriousness. “And believe me, no one would look twice if I got rid of scum like you.”

Adam held up his left hand, which now had a gold band around his ring figure. “You have no claim over her anymore.”

“You married her.”

“You may not have realized this, you drunk fool, but I actually love her. I have for most of our lives. ”
“It will fade.”

Adam jumped up and grabbed Finn through the bars, “The fact that you believe that shows how sad and small your life is.”   There was rage in his eyes, and his hands shook. Adam flung him to the back of the cell.

Adam walked out the door that separated the cells from the rest of the office without looking back at the man now screaming at him. Adam slipped the ring off his hand and returned it to the sheriff, who placed it on his hand. “Thank you, Tim. I appreciate you letting me borrow your ring. It was a big help.”

“Anything I can do to help, Adam. I’m sorry I couldn’t arrest him on anything. I’ll make sure he is on the next stage out of town.” Tim put a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “So, is it true you and Jess are finally tying the knot?” They walked out of the sheriff’s station towards the saloon.

“A week from tomorrow. You got the invitation, right?”

“Of course I did. The misses and I will be there. Let me buy you a drink to celebrate.”

At roughly the same time at the Ponderosa, Jess stood across from Ben. “Ben, can I speak openly with you?”

“Of course, Jess. What is on your mind?” Ben sat down the payroll he had been looking over.

“How dare you leave Adam to run the Ponderosa and care for Hoss and Joe when Marie died!” She yelled.

“What do you mean?”

“You left. How could you do that to him?”

“Jess, I needed to get away. Adam was strong enough to handle it.”

“Ben, you are their father. It wasn’t Adam’s responsibility. It was yours.”

“Adam has never said anything to me about this.”

“And he never will. HE LOVES YOU! Besides, he wouldn’t make Hoss and Joe choose between the two of you.”

“Now you listen here!” Ben’s temper rose.

“No, you listen, Ben. I know you hurt when you lost Marie. That didn’t give you the right to leave your child to step into your shoes. He wasn’t ready!”

“He seemed to handle it all right.”

“You didn’t give him a choice. I’m not saying you did not have a right to mourn Marie in your way. I am saying that you need to realize how much Adam took on for you. That it was a sacrifice. ”

“I understand that. Believe me, I do.”

“I don’t think you do. I know you miss her still, but you are not the only one. Don’t abuse how much he loves you.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t because I won’t allow you to hurt him again. Because as much as I love you, Ben, I love him more.”

To Jess’s surprise, Ben smiled at her, but there were tears in his eyes. “I think you will fit into this family very well.”

Jess smiled back, “Go talk to your son, please.”

“I can’t yet. He is in town. But I will.” The next day, Ben found Adam in the barn. “Adam.”

Adam looked up, “Yes, Pa.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“What is it?”

“I wanted to apologize to you.”

“What for?”

“The way I left you when Marie died. I should have stayed.”

Adam stood dumbfounded. He couldn’t remember the last time Ben had apologized to anyone. “Pa, it’s okay.” He was still in shock.

“I was blind, until recently, to how much my pain hurt you.”

“Pa, it’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I managed the ranch, and the boys fine.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to. That was my responsibility, not yours.”

“We do what we have to for the ones we love.”

“Son, I am sorry. Tell me how I can fix this.”

Adam walked towards his father, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What’s done is done. I only ask that you don’t put the same weight on Hoss and Little Joe that you did on me.”

Ben nodded, “I promise, never again. Do you forgive me?”

Adam nodded, “Of course, I forgive you, Pa. Where did this epiphany come from?”

Ben chuckled, “My soon-to-be daughter-in-law. She will be a welcome addition to this family, Adam, now, if we could find one for your brother Hoss.

Adam laughed, “She is the only one I have ever known to call us all out, myself included.”

“She is a spitfire, that is for sure. I only wish your mother was here to meet her.”

“Me too, Pa.”

The day before the wedding came faster than anyone expected.  Adam kissed Jess on the cheek as he took his customary seat at the table; the only difference was that she sat beside him. In contrast, George and Sally sat beside Hoss and Joe. He told Ben, “I’ll bed in the bunk house tonight.”

I know it’s tradition, but I’ll still miss you.” Jess smiled at him.

“It’s just for tonight, Sweetheart. Then I promise you will never be able to get rid of me.”

Ben spoke, “Since you want to spend your first night as a married couple in your home. George, Sally, Little Joe, Hoss, and I will stay at your ranch, Jess. Then we will send you off for your honeymoon in town. I’ll be sure to find you a new foreman.”

“Where are you going again?” Sally asked.

Adam and Jess shared a look, “Paris.”

“When will you be back?” George asked.

“Four months.” Jess grabbed her coffee cup.

“Maybe six.” Adam smiled. Jess bumped him under the table, but she smiled, too.

Jess turned to Ben, “Thank you. I know it is a lot of responsibility to take on.”

Ben laughed, “You are all family. This is your honeymoon, so you shouldn’t worry about anything.”

“Thank you.” Jess blushed.

“Now, there’s still lots to do before the wedding. Hop Sing, is the cake ready?” He asked as the smaller man appeared from the kitchen.

“Yes! Cake is ready.” The man beamed. “It will be almost as beautiful as Ms. Jess.”

Jess blushed again as Adam took her hand in his, kissing it. “Not possible.”

The day passed in a buzz of activity. It was late when Adam found Jess tucking Sally into her bed. He knew he needed to go to the bunkhouse but couldn’t pull himself away from her. “I can’t wait to see you do that with our children.” He whispered to her.

She kissed her sister’s forehead and walked toward him. “In due time, Darling. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to tell you good night before I went to the bunkhouse.”

“Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Cartwright.”

He smiled as he stole a kiss from her lips. “Tomorrow, Mrs. Cartwright.”

The next time he saw her, his breath stilled in his chest. He didn’t take another breath until Ben put her hand in his. Her dress was simple, long-sleeved lace with a high neckline. Her hair was in an updo with white flowers in it. He didn’t know he was crying until she reached up to wipe a tear from his cheek.  They were lost in each other’s eyes. The pastor spoke. “Adam and Jessica have decided they would say their vows.”

Jess spoke, her eyes never leaving his, “Adam Cartwright, I have loved you for as long as I have known the word. I promise to love, honor, and obey you in sickness and health for as long as we live. You have always been my home. I promise to be there to help you carry the responsibilities you shoulder. My heart is, was, and will always be yours.”

Adam squeezed her hands before he began. “Jessica Howards, my sweetheart, I have always loved you. I promise to love, honor, and obey you till we no longer draw breath, and even then, I will keep these vows.  You are a part of my soul, and I promise from this day forward, you will never face anything alone again. Your soul and mine are bound together from this day forward.”

Neither looked away from the other, so they didn’t see that most of the guest were wiping at their eyes. “By the power invested in me by God and the Nevada territory, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride, Adam.”

That is precisely what Adam did. He dipped her down, supporting most of her weight. They didn’t break apart until they heard the guest yelling around them. “My wife,” Adam whispered to her. His eyes were closed. He pressed their foreheads together and stole a quick kiss again.

“My husband,” She whispered back, one hand closed around his collar and the other in his hair like she was trying to bring him closer. They both could have stayed in this moment forever.

The End