Summary: After a stage robbery turns deadly, Adam learns strength comes from the loved ones around him.
Rating: PG, Word Count: 3468
A Love Lost
Adam walked into the quiet house after he had taken Mary and Jimmy to the Ponderosa. He needed to go through Emma’s trunk that held Emma’s possessions. He slowly climbed the stairs not wanting to get to this chore. That’s what he thought of it was a chore. Adam had put off going through her things for the past year. He dreaded it but knew it needed to be done. He stopped in front of his bedroom door and drew in a deep breath then blew it out. He had told Mary and Jimmy they were not allowed in his room or in the trunk. He didn’t want them going through her things until he could go through them himself. They had been good to obey their father. He turned the handle and went in. Emma’s trunk was in front of his bed under blankets he had put on there to slightly hide it.
Adam removed the blankets then sat by the trunk and looked at it still not wanting to open it. The trunk was made from pine and painted a dark mahogany color. It had leather strips around it, gold buttons on it and a gold lock on the front. He found the key under the trunk and unlocked it. Emma’s perfume that he had placed in there hit his nose and he fought back the tears at the smell. Inside were photographs, her wedding dress, her black silk purse with a small strap and a cream-colored flap with a black button to keep it closed, among other things.
The first thing he picked up were the photographs of him, Emma and the children, Joe and Sarah, Ben and his boys and the whole Cartwright clan. It had been Joe’s and Sarah’s wedding day. Adam thought it would be nice to get their family together for a photograph. The newlywed couple looked somber but Adam knew that Joe and Sarah had both loved each other. Joe and Sarah were sitting holding hands. Though the photograph didn’t show it, Joe was wearing a black suit and Sarah was wearing a white wedding dress. She was cute with blond hair, green eyes, a turned-up button nose and dimples that appeared in her cheeks when she smiled. He remembered Jimmy hating Sarah when they met her until she played a prank on Little Joe sometime after Joe and Sarah starting courting.
Sarah had got Jimmy in on the prank. She tied a string from one side of the barn door to the other. It was low so when Joe would come through he’d trip.
“Jimmy, go get Uncle Joe. Tell him to go to the barn and that it’s very important,” Sarah said.
Jimmy nodded and took off like a shot. A few minutes later, Joe was running across the yard to the barn and he tripped over the string. Jimmy watched Joe flip over and land on his back and Jimmy burst out laughing.
“Sarah, that was funny!” Jimmy said hugging her.
After that he was smitten with Sarah and was glad to have her for an aunt.
Adam looked at the family photograph. Emma and Adam were sitting on chairs holding hands while Jimmy stood beside Adam with his hand resting on Adam’s shoulder while Mary was by her mother mirroring her brother. Adam lightly rubbed his finger over Emma’s face and sighed sadly. He set down the photographs and looked to see what was next in the box.
Chapter 2
The next items were train ticket stubs. Adam wanted to take Emma to Boston for their ten-year anniversary. Adam spoke with Emma about it and they decided to have the kids stay with Ben but would ask him first. When they spoke with Ben he was happy to watch them. Mary was around fifteen and old enough to take care of Jimmy, who was ten, and herself but with them being gone for a few weeks, they felt better if they were with their grandfather and uncle. Mary was excited to be with Hoss but Jimmy was sad. He had expressed it and Joe said that he’d come to visit here and there. Sarah said they would stay at the Ponderosa to be with Jimmy.
The day they left, they hugged and kissed their family, packed their things in the buggy and headed to Virginia City. Adam left the buggy at the livery stable until they came back. They bought their tickets for the stage coach, got on the stage and left for Boston.
Emma had never been back east. She chattered excitedly about what it would be like. She kept asking questions and was in awe of the vast city of Salt Lake City and how the rivers snaked and never seemed to end or start.
Emma was surprised at how big Boston was when they arrived. Adam watched her and smiled to himself. He remembered when they were younger and the wonderment and awe in her face when she’d see something new. How he loved this woman! They got to their hotel, picked up their room key and found their room.
They rested the first day then Adam gave her a tour around the city the next day. They went to the cemetery where his mother and grandfather were buried.
“I wish you were able to know your mother,” Emma said quietly.
Adam wrapped his arms around her and she leaned against his chest.
“I wish I did too but Pa has told me many stories about her and looking at her picture I sometimes feel like I know her.
I wish she was here to know you and see what a wonderful woman I married.”
Emma blushed and smiled as they walked back to the carriage hand in hand. Adam got the horses going and they headed to town. Adam thought doing a little window shopping would help him know what to get Emma for their anniversary.
Adam put the tickets down by the photographs and he stood up. He stood and paced a bit thinking more of their time in Boston. He turned and looked in the trunk again and saw Emma’s purple dress. He had bought it for her as an anniversary gift.
They went into town walking along the sidewalk hand in hand, passing different shops. They passed a lady’s shop and Emma saw a beautiful dress that was dark purple with white lace around it. She looked at the price and realized how expensive it was.
“Let’s go,” she said trying not to sound disappointed.
Adam pulled the dress of the trunk to look at it. He wished she could have worn it more than the one time when they went to the dance in Boston. Holding the dress close to him he smiled thinking of her reaction seeing the dress and how beautiful she looked in it.
Adam slipped out while Emma was asleep and went to the shop where Emma had seen the dress. He had seen the disappointment on her face when she saw the price. He had wondered if she was thinking that she couldn’t wear it at home very often. He knew she would look beautiful in the dress and went in to buy it. He couldn’t wait to see her face. Stopping by a flower shop he bought a few roses. When Adam got back to the hotel he ordered breakfast and had them put it on a tray to take up to their room. Adam had a young man carry the tray upstairs. He opened the door and the boy followed. Adam took the tray and tipped the young man. He then opened the door to their room slowly and quietly and saw Emma was still asleep. Smiling, he tiptoed quietly to her and sat at the edge of the bed. Leaning down he whispered her name in her ear. She stirred and woke up looking at Adam.
“Good morning, Em,” he whispered.
“Good morning,” she whispered back.
Adam brought the tray to Emma and set it on her lap.
“Happy Anniversary.”
“Happy Anniversary,” she said.
They ate breakfast together in silence. Afterwards, Adam put the tray on the table and gave Emma the large slender box. Emma opened it and gasped in surprise.
“Adam, you didn’t need to get this. It was too much.”
Adam sat next to her and took her hands.
“Emma, I want to give you that dress. You deserve it. Besides, I heard there’s a dance tomorrow night and you needed a new dress.”
Emma laughed. “Adam, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
Adam shrugged and smiled. “I ask myself the same question about you. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
He leaned his forehead against hers then kissed her.
Adam thought about the dance and how he loved dancing with her. He felt like they were the only ones at the dance while they were on the dance floor. He looked ahead of him as if she stood in front of him in the dress and her dark hair curled in ringlets and her smiling at him when he complimented her. Since her passing, Adam hadn’t been to a dance. He couldn’t dance with another woman. Hoss had tried to get Adam to go to a few dances but Ben had firmly told his middle son not talk to Adam about attending dances.
“Adam Cartwright?” A voice called out.
Adam looked up and saw a friend of his.
“Clarence Martin, how are you?” Adam asked shaking his hand.
“I’m good. How about yourself? Why didn’t you write and tell me you were coming?”
“I’m doing well. I’m sorry it was kind of a last-minute thing on deciding to go and leave the children with my father.
This is my wife Emma. Emma, this is my friend Clarence.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Emma. Adam, you are right, she is a handsome woman,” Clarence commented.
Emma looked down and smiled, blushing again.
“Would you mind if I danced with Emma?” Clarence asked.
Adam shook his head and smiled. He looked at Emma to see if she would agree. She looked back at Adam, turned to Clarence and nodded her head. Clarence held out his hand and Emma took it following him to the dance floor.
Chapter 3
Adam carefully folded the dress and set it aside. He thought he would save it for Mary when she was old enough to attend dances. He looked back in the trunk and found the return tickets from the train and stage home. They had met an older couple on the way home, a retired doctor by the name of Waters, and his wife, heading to San Francisco to visit their married daughter and her family. Doctor Waters’ wife Mildred and Emma had hit it off. They had talked about their children and the Ponderosa. Adam and Dr. Waters had talked about business. Adam sat down and remembered that day. It was the day his Emma died.
They were an hour or so from Virginia City when two masked men raced up to the stage and ordered them to stop. The driver did as the leader said and stopped. Adam looked out the window and saw the men.
“Get out of the stage!” The masked leader ordered.
Everyone got out of the stage with their hands in the air.
“Drop your guns.”
The men did as they were told. They stood in front of their wives as best as they could to protect them. The driver stood near Adam with his hands raised. The other man in the red handkerchief covering half his face got down from his horse.
“Empty out your pockets and give him any valuables.”
They did as they were told. The man collecting the valuables saw Emma and whistled.
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a looker! I think we’ll be taking her with us,” the man said.
“You leave her alone,” Adam growled.
The man shoved Adam and grabbed Emma’s arm and pulled her. She fought back and kicked him in the shin. He let go of her and held his leg jumping up and down. Adam barreled into the man’s stomach and they began to fight. Emma saw the leader reach for his gun and she dove for Adam’s gun on the ground. The man pointed the gun at Adam and she jumped up screaming “no!”
The leader turned and fired at Emma as Emma fired at him. She fell to the ground and he fell off his horse. At the sounds of the gunshots Adam stopped and shoved the man to the ground and ran to Emma.
Doctor Waters was looking at the gunshot wound in her stomach. He looked at Adam who had knelt beside them and slightly shook his head telling Adam Emma wouldn’t make it. While they were hovering over Emma, the masked man tried to make a run for it.
“Hold it,” the driver ordered holding his gun at the man.
Adam rose up and moved quickly to the man. He pulled the mask off revealing Jack Brown.
“He and Cal Barker have been wanted around the territories,” the driver said.
“What about Barker? What happened?” Adam asked the driver.
“Barker was going to shoot you but Emma grabbed your gun and shot him. He shot her,” the driver said.
Numbly Adam turned back to Emma and knelt by her. He carefully picked her up and held her. She winced and grunted in pain when he moved her and she opened her eyes.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Emma,” Adam whispered.
“It’s all right,” she whispered back.
Adam looked at Emma and fighting back the tears. Mrs. Waters checked on the leader and came back. She knelt by her husband and gave them the news.
“Mr. Barker is dead.”
“And Emma killed him?” Adam asked in awe.
Both nodded and turned to Emma placing his forehead against hers.
“Emma, you are my hero.”
“I had to protect you,” she whispered.
“I didn’t protect you though.”
“You did. You stopped him from taking me. It looks like the Lord will be taking me instead,” she joked.
“Emma, please stay with me. I need you,” Adam’s voiced cracked as tears filled his eyes.
“Tell the family I love them. You need to find someone to marry and take care of Mary and Jimmy.”
“I couldn’t. There’s nobody I could love as much as I love you.”
“You need to. For the children. Your father did it. So, can you.”
Tears streamed down Adam’s face.
“Please, please stay. I love you,” he pleaded.
After kissing her tenderly he pulled back and looked at her. He ran his fingers through her hair and lightly over her face to never forget how she felt.
“Adam, I see our mothers. You are right, your mother is beautiful. I love you,” Emma looked behind him then to him.
She closed her eyes and took her final breath.
“Emma? Emma, please don’t leave me.” Adam held her tightly to his chest and sobbed into her hair.
After giving Adam time to grieve, the doctor and the driver wrapped Emma in a blanket that Mrs. Waters had and put her in the stage. Adam couldn’t cover her face and he held her tight as they left for Virginia City.
Chapter 4
Thinking about what had happened Adam slid off the bed to the floor and sobbed into his hands. He didn’t protect her like he should have. She’d still be here if he hadn’t fought off Jack. After he calmed down, his thoughts turned to his arrival home and telling his family about Emma.
Adam didn’t know how to tell his family about Emma. How was he going to raise two children without her? When the stage arrived in Virginia City, Adam took Emma to Doctor Martin’s office. He told the doctor the story and Paul promised to take care of Emma. Adam went to the livery stable to get his buggy. After loading the trunk, he left for the Ponderosa. Upon his arrival, he saw Hoss, Joe, Sarah, Jimmy and Mary playing.
“Ma! Pa!” They cried out and then stopped when they didn’t see Emma.
At the sound of the children’s excited shouts, Ben walked outside and joined his family.
“Where’s Ma?” Mary asked.
Fresh tears filled Adam’s eyes.
Hoss took one look at his brother and decided to get Joe, Sarah and the children into the house so Adam and Ben could talk.
“What happened?” Ben asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Adam cried and threw his arms around his father repeating “she’s dead” over and over into Ben’s shoulder. Adam hadn’t held onto his father since he was little. Ben wrapped his arms around Adam and held him, letting him cry.
After he calmed down Adam looked at his father.
“Pa, I don’t know what to do without her. How am I going to raise Mary and Jimmy?”
“We’ll be there to help you,” Ben replied.
After a few moments of silence Adam took a deep breath and spoke quietly, “I guess I’d better go tell everyone what happened.”
Ben put a supportive arm around Adam as they walked in the house.
Mary sat by Adam while Jimmy was on Adam’s lap as he told the story. He had his arms wrapped around both children. Mary had her arms around him holding her father tight. She was in a daze as she heard her father tell his story. She couldn’t believe her mother was gone. What would she do without her? She looked over at Jimmy and saw the same look on his face she must have had. They were not strangers to death since the deaths of their parents at young ages. Jimmy understood death when he was very young after their parents died.
“Ma’s really gone?” Jimmy asked wanting to know what he heard was true.
“Yes, Jim.”
The three cried and hugged each other tight. Everyone sat quietly in shock over the death of Emma.
“Did she go to heaven alone?” Mary asked.
“No, sweetie. My mother and her mother were there. She told me that they were there.”
Adam looked up at his father and Ben gave a wobbly smile while tears streamed down his face.
“Do you think our parents met Ma?” Mary asked.
“I’m sure of it. I’ll even bet your parents thanked Ma for taking care of you both,” Adam said with a watery smile.
“That makes me happy,” Mary said.
“Me too.”
Adam realized he couldn’t get rid of anything of Emma’s. It was too hard to let it go. He figured he could give it to Mary when she got older. He got up, walked out of the room and closed the door. He had gathered flowers near the house and got on Sport then headed for Emma’s grave. He knelt by her grave placing the flowers on it and rubbed his fingers against the smooth headstone.
He read the inscription: Emma Cartwright. Mother, wife, daughter and friend to all. Adam leaned against the hard headstone as if he were touching her forehead again. Tears streamed down his face. He looked back at the past year. He was grateful for his family for helping take care of him and the children. Sarah had been a help to Mary. She had gone to her aunt many times for advice and to talk about girl troubles. Adam was grateful to Sarah since he couldn’t help Mary.
Jimmy had become attached to his father. He couldn’t let Adam leave him alone anywhere. Adam finally spoke with Jimmy about it and Jimmy told him that he was afraid if Adam left, then he’d be killed and Jimmy and Mary would be orphans again. Adam’s heart broke for his son and promised that if anything happened to Adam that Jimmy and Mary would both still be with Ben, Hoss, Joe and Sarah. That made Jimmy feel better and he wasn’t attached to his father’s hip as before. Adam sighed as he stood up from the grave an hour later. He missed Emma every day. Though he had the children, he was still lonely. He was grateful that his family didn’t push him to find another wife. Having lost three wives, Ben knew the story all too well, and was there for Adam when he was having a hard time. Adam rubbed the headstone again as a breeze picked up. As he walked away he could have sworn he heard Emma’s voice.
He paused by Sport when he heard “I love you, Adam.”
“I love you too, Em,” Adam whispered, then slowly mounted his horse and headed for the Ponderosa.
From the Brandsters. The story was originally written and published on the Bonanza Trail Riders site. Brand is happy to offer this story a new home.
