Summary: This story takes another look at the Laura episodes, but with a twist. What if Adam had married Laura?

Rating: G, Word Count: 3341

Just When I Needed You Most

Jeb smiled warmly as he watched his old friend approach the counter.

 

“Well Ben. How you doing. Its been a long time since I’ve seen you in town.”

 

Ben took the load from his arms and propped the items up on the counter.

 

“I had that chest cold that’s been going around Jeb. You know I actually felt like staying in bed, I can’t remember when I last got a dose like that.”

 

“Milly had it Ben and I swear I ain’t never seen no one so sick. It was the first time in our marriage I had to cook for myself. We don’t appreciate the women folk until we has ta do for ourselves.”

 

“Ain’t that the truth.” Ben grinned as he took up his packages and turned to leave.

 

“Er Ben.” Jeb leaned over the counter to talk to him quietly. Ben’s smile faded as he leaned in too.

 

“What is it Jeb?”

 

“Ben, young Peggy was in here yesterday. She’s in here a lot picking up supplies and food and such.”

 

“I see,” Ben’s smile was now completely gone.

 

“Ben, she’s driving that wagon and she ain’t that good at it. I didn’t know if I should say nothin.”

 

“No, thanks Jeb, thanks for telling me. I’ll have a talk with her. Little rascal. They grow up so fast don’t they?”

 

“They sure do Ben. You say howdy to Adam for me and tell Hoss I have some of that liquorice in. Tell him to hurry. Those kids don’t be long in buying it all up.”

 

“I will, ” Ben grinned, but his smile soon faded as he headed towards his horse.

 

~o~

 

There was no fire lit, it was a damp miserable day and yet no smoke could be seen at the chimney. Ben’s heart sank.

 

As he approached the house the front door burst open. Peggy emerged carrying a basket of washing. Her face looked tense and distracted but she stopped in her tracks and smiled as Ben approached.

 

“Mr Cartwright,,” She grinned. “Its good to see you sir. I won’t hug you as I’ve just been…..busy.”

 

“Busy cleaning out the fire I see.” Ben looked down at her soot covered dress.

 

Peggy frowned. “Well, unfortunately you see I am being punished because I didn’t look after my pony. I neglected my pony….”

 

“Its alright Peggy.” Ben put a hand to the young girls arm.

“Is Adam in the house?”

 

“Yes sir.” She nodded.

 

As Ben entered Adam came out of his bedroom. He sat at the chair by the fire grate and began putting on his boots.

 

“Good afternoon Adam,” Ben said.

 

“Would you like some coffee sir and I’ve made some fresh cakes.” Peggy asked.

 

Ben turned with a smile for her. “That would be lovely. Thank you Peggy.”

 

“So Adam, how are things….I don’t see Laura. Where is she.”

 

“She’s around.”

 

Ben tried again. “There’s some shingles missing from the barn roof Adam. You’d want to fix them before the snow comes.”

 

“I’ll get to it. ”

 

“Maybe I’ll send Hoss around to help. They really should be fixed Adam.”

 

“I said I’d get to it Pa.”

 

Peggy quickly arrived back with a tray of hot coffee and some oat cakes.

 

“We were just talking about  that last night Mr Cartwright. Adam said he would fix them today. Its just been so frosty out lately it’s hard to get any outdoor work done.”

 

Ben went to her as she put the tray down.

 

“Peggy I need to speak to Adam.”

 

The thirteen year old’s face was suddenly anxious.

 

“Mr Cartwright please, he’s doing his best sir,” She told him in an anxious whisper.

“He just gets tired.”

 

“You go on to your room Peggy.”

 

Peggy nodded reluctantly and headed for the staircase.

 

Once Ben heard her door close upstairs he looked down at his oldest son.

 

“You can’t go on like this Adam.”

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“Where is she this time, back with Will, gone off to be an actress on the stage somewhere or has she found another man?”

 

“Don’t talk about her like that Pa.”

 

“Adam, she is tearing you apart. I can’t stand by and watch it happen. I won’t.”

 

“She’ll be back soon. She just gets tired of ranch life. She gets restless.”

 

“And what about that little girl up there? Who is she calling Pa these days Adam . She’s afraid to use that word in case the man disappears from her life like all the rest.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with Peggy.”

 

“There’s everything wrong with Peggy. She’s trying to be the best little girl in the world so that someone will keep hold of her. So that someone will love her. She’s been shunted from pillar to post all her life. It’s only a matter of time before Laura turns up with another man, another father for Peggy. Mother and child will be gone off down the road to hell and Peggy will soon be returned to us when he’s sick of the sight of her followed soon after by her mother.”

 

Adam got to his feet. “You’ve said enough Pa.”

 

“I haven’t said half enough. That woman has no heart to speak of but I won’t stand for it this time. I won’t Adam. At least there is something in this foul mess I can change. Peggy is coming with me. She will stay at the Ponderosa and if  Laura wants her again by God she will have to come through me. I won’t stand for this.”

 

“No!”

 

They both looked up at the little figure standing on the landing.

She quickly ran down.

 

“I won’t go with you Mr Cartwright. I can’t. Adam needs me. Doctor Martin gave him powders to help him sleep. He won’t take them, he always forgets.”

 

“Peggy….”

 

“No Adam, we’re alright here. I’ll look after you. Let me stay Adam. I won’t ask you to eat your dinner anymore or shave your whiskers.”

 

Adam put a hand to her shoulder. “Peggy…..pack a bag. We’re going to stay at Pa’s house.”

 

Peggy’s face lit up. This was an outcome she hadn’t expected. With a smile for Ben she raced up to her room to pack a bag before anyone could change their mind.

 

Ben let out a sigh of relief. “At least now you’re being sensible, I’ll have Joseph come and check the place every day.”

 

“It’s just for a while Pa. Just until things settle a little.”

 

“Yep just for a while.” Ben put a hand to his shoulder. “Come on, I’ll help you pack a bag. You’ll be feeling better in no time Adam, trust me.”

 

~o~

 

Ben was up early the next day. He convinced himself that an early morning ride would be just the thing for him but his right hip said otherwise. He had to lean forward on Buck in order to get that leg over to the other side.

 

“Quit complaining old man” he growled at Buck “you’re just as bad in this weather.”

 

Ben rode all the way to Virginia city that morning. It was a trip he would make many times. He had no conscience about taking those letters and hiding them from Adam. The health of his son was all that mattered to him. Her begging letters and tales of woe would have to go unanswered.

 

~o~

 

Peggy was kept very busy over the next couple of days but she couldn’t understand it.

She would be sent into town with Adam’s brothers to buy groceries and they would end up in a dress shop picking out new material and bonnets for her. She would be told to help out in the fields and she would end up on a river bank fishing with Joe or picking wild berries with Hoss. It was all good fun but what about Adam? With all of this going on she hardly saw him. He’d forget to eat his lunch. That Chinese cook might forget that there’s an extra person and it’s not as if Adam would remind him. It’s all very well sitting on a river bank eating a picnic lunch but what about Adam.

 

“He can’t have those berries.”

 

“What berries?” Joe asked.

 

Hoss had been resting on the ground by the river bank. He opened his eyes and looked over at her.

 

“Remember that pie I made yesterday with those blueberries. Adam can’t have any of that. Blueberries make him very sick. Do you think Hop Sing knows that Adam can’t have any of that pie?”

 

Joe sat up and looked directly at her.

 

“Not only does Hop Sing know but Adam himself knows. He’s a grown man, Peggy. He doesn’t need you worrying about his every move. And by the way, haven’t you got your own work to do young lady? I set you a task, remember?”

 

“No I did it Joe  I memorized it, listen.”

Peggy stood up, cleared her throat and began.

 

“Behold her, single in the field,

Yon Solitary Highland Lass!

Reaping and singing by herself;

Stop here or gently pass!

 

Alone she cuts and binds the grain,

And sings a melancholy strain;

O listen! for the Vale profound

Is overflowing with the sound.”

 

Both Joe and Hoss gave her a round of applause and Peggy took a bow. Still smiling, she went to pick up her basket.

 

“I’m going to pick some wild flowers for the table.” She told them.

 

“Don’t go far sweetheart.” Joe told her as she set off.

 

Hoss shook his head. “Couldn’t you have found another poem than that? It ain’t exactly fittin’ for a young girl.”

 

“Yeah Hoss, I go around with lots of girl’s poems in my head. I only knew that one because I got a tanning from old Mr Lynch for not learning it. It’s embedded in my brain for all time now. I well remember that tanning, I couldn’t sit for a week.

 

~o~

 

It killed Ben to see the haunted expression on Adam’s face. When he wasn’t working with his brothers he would just wander around the house or sit thinking. No book on his lap, no guitar.

 

Adam was surprised out of his thoughts as Ben handed him a cup of coffee.

 

“Care to share your thoughts?” Ben asked.

 

Adam had been staring out of the window, just standing there. Those spells worried  Ben. All this introspection wasn’t good for him.

 

Adam frowned as he tried to formulate his thoughts. “I was just thinking, I shouldn’t be here Pa. I shouldn’t be putting this on you.”

 

“I don’t remember giving you a choice.” Ben smiled.

 

Adam tried to return the smile.

 

“I’m a grown man Pa, I should be able to sort through this myself.”

 

“I was a grown man when Ingar and Marie died, Adam. Didn’t stop me from leaning too much on a little boy who showed great strength and maturity when I needed him most. I’m just returning the favor, son. Adam, you’ve nothing to feel ashamed of in this. That’s what you have to realize. A man can only take so much. She leaves you for another man. She comes back, she leaves again, she takes Peggy. They come back half starved. After six months she’s leaving again, she threatens to take Peggy. That’s been your life for the past seven years Adam. No man can take that.”

 

A darkness came over Adam’s face as he tried to make sense of it all.

 

“Talk to me, what are you thinking,” Ben asked.

 

“Pa, maybe I could write to the Sheriff in Carson City, see if she’s there. Perhaps she’s stopped off there or someone has seen her.”

 

“Adam, let it go. You won’t find her and even if you did……”

 

“The last man she hooked up with….he beat on her Pa. He beat her up so badly. I can’t stop thinking….”

 

Ben pulled him into a hug as his emotions spilled over.

 

“I know son, let it out.”

 

Adam sobbed into his father’s shoulder. It felt like a relief to finally let go and release the pain,”

 

Ben spoke softly as he held him close. “It’s the life she has chosen Adam. There’s nothing you can do. You have to walk away.”

 

Hop Sing came out at that moment to set the table. On seeing father and son he gently laid the knives and forks down in the middle of the table and quietly went back to the kitchen.

 

~o~

 

Ben grumbled away to himself as he climbed the stairs. All those years at sea, wearing wet trousers, not bothering to change them, he was paying for that now. That hip was making its presence felt tonight and no mistake.

 

Peggy sat up in bed after hearing a quiet knock on her door. “Come in,” she called out.

 

Ben entered carrying an old book in his hand. He slowly and carefully took a seat by her bed.

 

“Hoss is snoring downstairs,” he grinned at her.

 

“You can hear him from here.” She giggled.

 

“Did you have fun today?” He asked.

 

“We went fishing and I caught a fish myself and I picked flowers for Hop Sing……but….”

 

Her face lost its smile.

 

“Adam is ok.” Ben told her. “He had a good day.”

 

“That’s great, thanks Mr Cartwright. He ate a little more at dinner than usual didn’t he. I think he likes Hop Sings cooking.”

 

“He always did,” Ben smiled.

 

“Does Adam come up to tuck you in these days?” Ben asked, trying to keep the question light.

 

“He does but he just sits on the chair and he says he’s sorry and I say it’s ok and then he kisses my forehead. That’s it. Then, he goes out.”

 

“Peggy, Adam is depressed, that’s why he’s behaving like that.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry Mr Cartwright.”

 

Ben leaned forward in his seat. ” What sorry, what’s this sorry about.” He asked with concern.

 

“We wanted to make Adam happy. We came back to make him happy.” She said with tears glistening in her eyes.

 

“Peggy. You do make Adam happy. You’re the best thing to come into his life and don’t you ever forget it. Do you hear me?”

 

She nodded.

 

Ben reached over and swiped away a falling tear with his thumb.

 

“I don’t know what he would have done without you but you don’t have to worry about that any more. Heaven knows we should have stepped in long before this.”

 

Her eyes went to the book on his lap.

 

“Oh yes, I thought you might like to hear a story.”

 

“You want to read me a story? But Mr Cartwright I’m thirteen.”

 

She leaned forward on the bed. “What book is it though?”

 

Ben smiled as he opened the first page.

 

~o~

 

Every morning Ben rode out to intercept the mail. He didn’t feel bad about keeping the letters from Adam, the emotional blackmail had gone on long enough. Little by little Adam’s confidence began to return. With a little persuasion Hoss and Joe would take him into town for an evening. Peggy, Ben and Hop Sing would sit at the table playing Gin Rummy until it was time for Peggy to go to bed. Adam had even been on a few dates.

The damp dreary winter months soon gave way to spring. The rise in temperature and longer evenings put everyone in better spirits.

 

Ben grumbled away to himself. How was he supposed to read his paper with all that racket going on outside?

 

Peggy eyed the ball with expert precision. The unseasonable hot weather gave her a face full of freckles and she beamed a smile at Joe as she waited on him to wind up his shot.

 

She hit the ball dead on and, dropping the bat, she ran for first base, her braids going in all directions. Adam laughed to see her. Such a tomboy.

 

Adam’s smile suddenly faded. He had taken up the bat but he let it fall from his hand as he walked forward. Peggy was making ready to run again but her gaze fell on him and what had taken his attention. Adam moved forward, his face had lost all color as he watched the carriage approach. Peggy followed his gaze. Her lower lip began to tremble. She just turned and ran. Little Joe tried to catch hold of her but she ducked under his arms.

 

She couldn’t go back to that life, she wouldn’t. She ran blindly not caring where she was or where she was going. She ran until she was exhausted. She fell to her knees and lay on the ground her shoulders shaking as she sobbed her heart out. What would become of them now. She couldn’t go back to that life.

 

~o~

 

“Oh Adam, I’m so glad to see you.” She put a hand to his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. “Get my bags Adam. I’m looking forward to a cup of Hop Sings coffee already.”

 

She began stripping off her gloves as she entered the house.

 

“I’d leave them on, it gets cold in Virginia City at night.”

 

Ben’s face sent a shiver through her.

 

“Ben, it’s good to see you again.”

 

She tried to smile. Ben had no smile for her in return.

 

“Ben, as you can imagine, Adam and I have a lot to discuss. So if you wouldn’t mind…”

 

“Yes Laura, we do have a lot to discuss. You’re standing in my house. My house, my rules.”

 

“Adam, are…are you going to let him talk to me like that? I know my coming was a bit sudden but I did write to let you know, didn’t you get my letters?”

 

Adam was leaning against the closed door, he shifted his position and shrugged.

 

“I don’t know, I think they went to the fire.” he said.

 

Laura put a hand to her mouth. It was clear Adam wasn’t going to help her. She tried not to flinch as Ben approached.

 

“Sit down young lady, we have much to discuss, you and I.”

 

~o~

 

Peggy had cried it all out. As miserable as she felt she set her heart once again in determination. Whatever happens she would stay with Adam, she would protect Adam. With this resolve she sat up and wiped her face.

 

She turned her head and watched through red sore eyes as a much loved man limped down the field towards her.

 

“Is this where you are?”  Ben asked.

He  took her hand and brought her towards a tree stump so he could sit.

 

“You’re going to miss your supper young lady. Don’t you want that strawberry pie you made. Hoss will have the whole lot if you don’t hurry.”

 

Peggy didn’t answer, she couldn’t. His cheerfulness was in such direct contrast to the wretched storm in her heart.

 

Ben took her hand and brought her to sit down next to him.

 

“Peggy, your mother stopped by to see you today. She has brought a great  big doll for you, it’s back at the house.”

 

“Is she still there?”

 

“No Peggy, she had to go. She’s gone off to San Francisco to be an actress on the stage isn’t that exciting?”

 

Peggy only frowned at that. “How will she live? How will she support herself? She has no means.”

 

“She has means…..now. She’ll be alright Peggy, you’re not to worry about her, do you hear me.” Ben told her.

 

“Will she be coming back….for me?” Peggy asked in a shaky voice.

 

” No Peggy. She is never coming back,”  Ben said.

 

There was a determination in his voice that the little girl had never heard before.

 

Ben looked down as her hand came to rest in his.

 

After a moment she let out a big breath. She looked up at him.

 

“Can we go home now, Grandpa?”

 

“Of course we can sweetheart. It’s nearly time for your bed.”

 

She helped him up and the two walked hand in hand back to the ranch house

 

The End

 

From the Brandsters.  The story was originally written and published on the Bonanza Trail Riders site.  Brand is happy to offer this story a new home.