Summary: He/She looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. – Dottie Rambo. Write a story of 600 words or less using this line from a song.
Rating: G, Word Count: 2248
Once more as Ben tried to sleep, he heard that light tread in the hallway and knew which son was walking down those stairs. He guessed if he waited, in a short time, he would hear the sound of a horse walking slowly from the yard. Too considerate to ride out wildly and wake his family, he would likely wait until he was well away from the house to give his horse free rein to run. Tonight Ben wasn’t going to wait though. It had been going on too long, and it was time for him to stop torturing himself with doubts and recrimination. Standing, he pulled on his robe and slipped his feet into his slippers. With any luck, he would catch up to him before he left the house. He did. He saw the dark shadow sitting on the last steps pulling on his boots and moved to intercept him. Never moving as silently as any of his sons, he must have been heard.
“I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“I was still awake. I’ve heard you leave almost every night. Even if I didn’t, the way you look in the morning would have made me worry enough.”
“I’m sorry about that too.”
“It’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You have been doing too much of that already it seems.” When his son was quiet, Ben continued. He wanted to get this conversation into the crux of the matter instead of dancing around it.
“I thought you said you didn’t love her. I thought you said it was better that she went with Will.”
That made Adam drop his head. He wouldn’t lie again to his father. The emotions and thoughts he had were a jumbled mix of love, jealousy, anger, regret, relief, sorrow, and confusion. No matter how much he thought about the situation, he couldn’t find a logical, rational explanation for what had happened. He had helped her, offered her love and security, and treated her with respect and consideration. Her response had been to go behind his back and seek a relationship with another.
Sitting down on the steps above where Adam sat in the darkness, Ben thought carefully before speaking.
“Everyone has needs, faults, desires, and wants. When we meet someone, we hope they see the better parts of us.”
“All Laura ever seemed to want to do was change me. She pointed out my faults rather regularly.”
“Yes, and it seemed she made her needs quite obvious so you would hasten to fulfill those for her.” Ben paused not certain Adam would accept him criticizing Laura, but Adam was silent. “I think you remember when I met Inger. It was a tough time for me, but she looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.”
Staring into the darkness, Adam thought about that for a few minutes as Ben waited to hear how he would respond. “But Laura saw my faults and her needs.”
“I think you’ve got it now.”
“I loved her, but she didn’t love me. She was too in love with herself.”
“Yes, and I love my nephew, but he can be shallow and that quality is present there too. He thinks of himself first much too often. He’s better prepared to live a life with Laura than you could ever be.”
“Because they’re on a more even footing.”
“Yes. Can we go back to bed now? I’m tired.”
“Thank you, Pa. I may be able to sleep now.”
Looking Beyond
The soft rustle of her skirts and quiet footsteps alerted him to her presence.
“Adam?”
He kept silent, wanting her to just go away.
“Adam, I know you are up there. I cannot climb up so please come down.”
Sighing, twelve year old Adam eased himself to the edge of the loft and slowly climbed down. He stood stiffly at the bottom of the ladder.
“Come, sit beside me.”
Adam moved toward the bench but did not sit.
“Pa told me to apologize to you and I did. What more do you want?”
Marie closed her eyes for a moment to gather her thoughts, absentmindedly rubbing a spot where the baby kicked. Oh she wanted so much more. Despite Adam’s coldness to her she loved the boy, and she wanted so much for him to love her.
“Your apology lacked a certain truth to it Adam. Yes, those women at the station were rude to me, spreading lies about me and your father. Those were words you should never have heard.” Marie took Adam’s fingers lightly in hers and was pleased when he didn’t pull away. “Do you know why your father married me?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Oh but it does. I was angry and bitter at what life had thrown at me. No one cared about me. I did what I had to do to support myself. I used my beauty to lure men to drink and to gamble, but I never used it for what those women said.” She softened her voice, “I’d never felt love until I met your father. He told me I was better than what I appeared to be. He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. I needed love and he gave it freely. After that I cared for nothing more than to be with him and to leave my old life behind.”
She pulled Adam closer but he refused to look at her. “That is love, Adam. I know those women’s words shocked you and perhaps the shock kept you from stepping in. But today I saw something else in your eyes, something that I believe has been there all along but needs to grow.” Marie tilted Adam’s face up, and gently rubbed his cheeks with her fingers. “We all make mistakes, mon petit, but we have to look past them to find what is truly good in a person.”
Marie studied her step-son’s face, leaned forward to kiss his forehead then smiled at him. “Je t’aime mon cher.”
She stood up and left the barn. Adam watched as she slowly made her way to the house. A single tear found its way down his cheek. As he wiped it away he realized a warmth had filled his heart. Soon one corner of his mouth quirked upward, gently revealing a dimple and reaching his eyes. The warmth spread as Marie’s words watered the seed of love that was there, allowing it to take root.
A missing scene from The Gold Plated Rifle
Home
With the rake in his hands, Jamie paused, watching to make certain that Ben rode off. He went back to tossing the straw from the stalls with a vengeance.
Why’d he come here lookin’ for me anyway? Just another stray dog to kick around when I do somethin’ wrong. I even fessed up to it and he still punished me! He thinks I need them enough to put up with that. I’ll show him who needs who!
Jamie threw the rake and fell back against the side wall of the empty stall. Sliding down to a crouch, elbows on his knees, fingers in his unruly red waves, the tears began to flow. He reached to touch his vest pocket and felt his father’s watch chain that Ben had gone to the trouble to return. But it was Ben’s parting words that ran through his mind like a speeding train and weighed heavy on his heart more so than any words anyone had spoken to him since his father had died.
“I didn’t pick my sons. They were born to me, but I did pick you. I didn’t haveta, but I did. You might consider that a point in your favor. Hoss, and Joe, and I want you to be a part of our family. And if you are a part of our family, you’re going to have to give up something, worrying about yourself. You and your problems won’t always be the center of attention because we have our problems, too. And you may have to worry about them! And if you do have a problem, don’t whine and mumble and feel sorry for yourself because no one has turned around. I may be busy or just plumb tired; so speak up! To my certain knowledge, we don’t have a single mind reader on the Ponderosa — but we do have a wealth of affection to give ya — respect and understanding, but you have to give them back. They’re all there, but they’re on a two-way street. And if you come back, and I sure hope you do, because I want you to, I’m going to treat you exactly as I’d treat one of my own sons, which means that sometimes I’ll tell you to do things that you won’t like — because I know more than you do, I’m older. It’s as simple as that. I try to be fair, but sometimes I make mistakes; so you might as well expect them because I’m also human. Now, so far, I don’t think I’ve been unfair; so if you decide to come back, the woodcutting stands. You’ll just have to accept that discipline voluntarily, along with everything else we have to give ya….You think about it, Jamie. The door will be wide open.”
I guess he did come outta his way for me. Said he’s got faults and troubles, too. Guess I was only seeing what I wanted to see, but he looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. It’s hard to admit that you need something like a family when you wanta be your own boss and run your own life. But that gets tiresome — real tiresome and lonely.
Jamie looked up at the loft where he would sleep this evening and thought about the comfortable bed with clean sheets at the ranch house at the Ponderosa. He could almost smell the tasty, hot breakfast Hop Sing would prepare for the family — his family. He went and gathered his sparse possessions together and saddled his horse. He scribbled a note to the livery man, mounted up, and rode for — home — a word that he had never before understood the true meaning.
Mary slammed the door and threw her books on the chair with a thump.
“Don’t slam the door,” Emma said sternly.
She looked up from her mending and saw Mary was frustrated.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Mary mumbled.
“Nothing? Come on, something is wrong. You have never thrown your books like that.”
Mary sighed then sat down.
“It’s Mrs. Mangum.”
“What did she do now?” Emma asked in a tight voice.
“I don’t want to say,” Mary replied looking at her mother.
Emma put her mending down and moved next to Mary on the sofa.
“You can tell me,” she said gently.
Tears filled Mary’s eyes.
“She said things about you and Pa.”
“Like what?”
“She said that Pa only stays with you because he doesn’t want to tarnish the Cartwright name. Because you couldn’t give him children. She even said that you were undesirable because you were engaged to another man and he broke it off and Pa only married you to save face.”
Mary sobbed into Emma’s shoulder. Emma held her and rubbed her back.
“Oh, Mary, you shouldn’t listen to her. Or anyone else who says things against your pa or me. Did you know that I asked him some of those questions when we were courting and even after we were married?”
Mary sat up in surprise.
“No.”
Emma pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed away Mary’s tears.
“I worked at the mercantile and heard Mrs. Mangum say a few things that weren’t true. She’ll talk to anyone who will listen and find fault with everything. Every time she’d come into the store, she’d gossip about me and eventually your father when he started working there.”
“Did you tell Pa what she said?”
“I did. I had wondered if he worked there because he felt sorry for me. Mrs. Mangum said that he worked there because nobody wanted to work with me.”
“She what? How could she?” Mary’s voice went up an octave.
“She did. I heard so much that it made me wonder about his motives. I was pretty worried when I finally questioned him on it, and he told me that he worked with me because he wanted to. You see, I moved here from California after my family passed away. I was also dealing with a former beau and it was a mess. We have told you about our daughter Elizabeth and how she died of the croup. Then you came here at the time I had to tell him about losing our second baby. I was so worried about not being able to carry anymore children and told him so. Your Pa was so gentle and understanding through all of those times. He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.” Emma squeezed Mary’s hand. “He knew our love was the most important thing in our lives. So, don’t listen to Mrs. Mangum.”
Mary smiled and squeezed her mother back.
“I’m glad you both didn’t listen to Mrs. Mangum. I’ll learn not to either. Thanks, Ma.”
