Summary: Hoss and Little Joe Cartwright started calling their elder brother “the old man” shortly after their father died when Adam took over the running of the Ponderosa as well as helping his stepmother raise his brothers.  Marie believes that Adam has lost too much of his youth and decides he needs a little romance in his life to make him feel young again.

rating: T/PG13   word count: 46,771

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The Old Man By DJK 

 

“Time for bed, Joe.” 

“Ahh, can’t I just…” 

“Now, Joseph!” 

“But I ain’t tired! I don’t see why…” 

“Because even though I am tired, I still have enough energy to set your behind stinging if you aren’t in your nightshirt and your bed in five minutes. Is that clear?” 

“Yeah. ” Little Joe Cartwright thrust out his lower lip. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Yes, Adam.” The twelve-year-old rose slowly to his feet. 

“Hoss, you need to be up early tomorrow.” Adam’s tone let his younger brother know that the statement was more of an order to go to bed than a simple observation. 

Always less eager than his younger brother to risk wrath through confrontation, Hoss scrambled to his feet. “That’s true, brother. Guess I’ll be turning in too.” Coming up beside Little Joe, he placed his arm around the younger boy’s shoulders and lowered his voice to a whisper. “The old man’s in a bear of a mood, Joe. Best just get a move on to bed.” 

Little Joe risked a quick look at his elder brother. Adam was once again concentrating on the legers in front of him, so Joe stuck his tongue out at the top of Adam’s bowed head before hurrying up the stairs. 

Marie Cartwright watched the scene play out from her seat before the fire. She bit her lip and asked herself exactly when the younger two had begun calling Adam “the old man.” Had it been before or after his eighteenth birthday? She shook her head sadly. In the seven years since her husband’s death, it had become the boys’ most frequent moniker for their elder brother. Marie studied her stepson as he worked at his father’s desk and made a decision. 

“Adam, might I have a word with you?” 

Adam Cartwright looked up to see his stepmother standing on the opposite side of the desk holding a glass of wine in each hand. He swallowed a sigh and accepted one of the glasses. “Of course.” He hoped this would not become a long discussion; he still had a good hour’s work to do on the books. 

“Adam, what are your plans for tomorrow?” 

“I need to go up to the lumber camp. There are several matters that need my attention there.” 

“Could that wait until Monday?” 

Adam raised his right eyebrow.  “Why?” 

“I would like you to escort me to the Harvest Dance.” Marie took a sip of her wine and waited. 

“Hoss can escort you, can’t he?” Adam knew his eighteen-year-old brother planned to attend the dance. 

“I would like for you to attend with me, Adam.” Marie’s tone was the one Adam referred to privately as her you-are-still-my-stepson voice. 

“It’s important that I go to the lumber camp, Marie.” 

“I would deem it a personal favor, Adam.”  

Adam took a long swallow from his wineglass. Shortly after his twenty-first birthday and the end of her legal guardianship over him, his stepmother had begun phrasing her admittedly infrequent orders as requests for “a personal favor.” In the past four years, he had yet to simply refuse or ignore one. He transferred his eyes to hers. Reading both the reason behind her request and her determination that he attend the dance in those green depths; he answered with a wry grin. “Then I shall be glad to escort you.” 

“You may even enjoy yourself, Adam. I don’t expect you to spend the evening with me, you know. Just see me there and home again.” Marie remarked as she turned to go upstairs and bid her younger sons goodnight. 

Adam tossed down the remainder of his wine and did not venture an answer. He knew his stepmother hoped that one of the unattached young ladies at the dance might attract his attention, and he wondered if all females were matchmakers at heart. 

 

********** 

Marie knocked on the door of her stepson’s bedroom. Hearing Hoss’s invitation to enter, she opened the door. Hoss was stretched out on the bed with his upper body resting against the headboard. 

“I came to say goodnight.” Marie walked over to the bed. 

“I know. I was waiting for ya.”  

Marie smiled. If she was in the house and able to walk, she always came to her younger sons’ rooms to say goodnight. It had become the best time for saying what needed to be said. Marie sat on the edge of the bed and studied the face before her. Even though Hoss had been doing the work of a full-grown man for years due to his size and strength, he was still a youth. At least this son had not had that stolen from him. Marie sighed. Hoss had kept his childhood in large part due to Adam’s refusal to let their father’s death take it from him. 

“Ma, well, I think Adam’s been working too hard lately.”  

Marie reached out and brushed the hair back from Hoss’s forehead. “When can you remember your brother not working too hard?” 

“I know, but lately, well, ya know, Adam’s been real irritable lately.” 

“Perhaps he will be less irritable after we attend the dance tomorrow.” 

“Adam’s going to the dance? I thought he was going up to the lumber camp.” 

Marie smiled. “There has been a change of plans.” 

Hoss smiled back. “Bet that change wasn’t elder brother’s idea.” 

“Does it matter whose idea it was? Adam will not be working tomorrow night; he will be dancing with some pretty, young thing.” 

“Probably the pretty thing I was wanting to dance with.” Hoss sighed. 

Marie laughed and kissed her son’s forehead. “Good night, my son.” Hoss was so different from Adam, but then Ben had told her often enough that Hoss’s mother had been very different from Adam’s mother.  

Marie made her way to her baby son’s room. Stopping to rap on the door, she reminded herself that Joe was not a baby or even a little boy anymore. She listened to the scrambling sounds on the other side of the door until she heard a soft, “Come in.” 

Little Joe stood in the middle of the room, his nightshirt just settling around his knees, and his pants in a puddle at his feet. 

Walking over to stand before him, she used her sternest tone.  “Joseph, I do not want to see you behaving so disrespectfully toward Adam again.” 

Little Joe dropped his chin as he rebuked himself for not checking to see if his mother was watching before sticking out his tongue. “Yes, ma’am, It’s just he’s so grouchy sometimes.” 

Marie placed her hand under Little Joe’s chin and raised his eyes to hers. “Adam is tired, Joseph. He works very hard, and you, as well as the rest of this family, benefit from that hard work.” Her voice held admonishment. 

“I, I know. I’m sorry.” 

Hearing the sincerity in his voice, Marie smiled. Turning him around, she guided him forward.  “To bed with you then.” 

Little Joe started toward the bed but stopped abruptly when Marie called out.  “Joseph! Your pants.” Sheepishly he retrieved his pants and hung them on the appropriate peg. Then he kneeled beside his bed and waited for his mother to join him in his nightly prayers. 

Settling into his bed, Little Joe reached for his father’s daguerreotype on his bedside table. “Was Pa as strict as Adam is?” 

“Your father expected proper behavior from all of his sons.”  

“Yeah, I guess it was Pa that taught Adam what was right and what was wrong.” Little Joe studied the face in the picture and conjured up his meager memories of the man. “I don’t remember if he spanked harder or if Adam does.” 

Marie reached out and gently ruffled Little Joe’s curls. “I suppose that is a question Hoss could answer best.” 

“Adam hardly ever tanned Hoss.” Little Joe put on an aggrieved look.  

“Hoss hardly ever gave your pa or Adam a good reason to tan him.” Marie paused then continued.  “Adam loves you very much, Joseph, just as Hoss and I do. Just as your papa did.” 

Little Joe sighed, “I know. I love him too.” Joe set the picture back on the table. “You love us all the same, don’t ya?” Little Joe stared intently at his mother. 

“Little Joe, my Benjamin gave me three sons. Not all in the same way, perhaps, but my heart holds them all the same.” Looking into her son’s eyes, she decided it was time to address his unspoken question. “Mon petite, the love is not more or less between my heart and that of any of my sons, but there is a difference.” Watching his expression, she shook her head gently. “Joseph, the ties we share are different. You, little love, I carried inside and nursed at my breast. I heard your first word and have always been with you. Hoss was young enough that I cuddled him in my lap. He came to our bed when he was scared in the night. I did not love Adam until he was too old for such things, but he held my hand when your birth brought the pains. The ties of love do not have to be the same to be just as strong. Do you understand, Joseph?” 

Little Joe chewed his lip and then nodded. “I think so. It’s different between Hoss and me than it is with Adam and me, but I don’t really love one more than the other.” 

“Oui!” Marie placed a kiss on Little Joe’s forehead. 

“Ma, do I have to tell Adam I’m sorry about sticking my tongue out at him?” 

“I think if you confess to God and ask forgiveness this would be enough.” 

“To God and Father Aloysius?” 

“Yes, you must tell the good father at confession. You know this, Joseph.” Marie’s voice and expression both chided. 

“Father Aloysius will give me three Our Fathers just for that.  He likes Adam a lot even if he’s not a Catholic.” 

Marie laughed softly as she blew out the light.  

 

********** 

Marie Cartwright snapped her fan closed and tapped it furiously against the black silk of her gown. She watched as her eldest bowed elegantly and led another partner to the floor, and she fumed at the sight. Adam had chosen his partners carefully: wives of business associates, ladies of the organizing committee, old widows, and a nearsighted fifteen-year-old who was destined to become an old maid. Yes, Adam had made it quite clear that the old adage was true: you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Evidently her mule-headed son would be perfectly willing to die of thirst just to prove a point. 

Adam Cartwright smiled at his stepmother over the ample shoulder of Mrs. Cordelia Withers as he waltzed her across the dance floor. It took no more than a glance for him to see that Marie understood the message his actions were meant to convey and was furious with him. Well, as long has he had made his point, he would worry about soothing ruffled feathers later. 

Marie saw the smirk and snapped her fan open again. Fanning her hot cheeks, she plotted Adam’s comeuppance. How many times had she saved a young Adam from his father’s wrath when his impudence had gone too far? Evidently, she should have allowed Ben more opportunities to drive the insolence out of their eldest child. Well, now she was paying for that mistake. 

Adam returned his dancing partner to her husband and looked around the room in an attempt to locate his brothers. Finally, he spied Little Joe next to the “gentleman’s ” punch bowl. 

Little Joe felt a hand on his shoulder and turned. The glass cup he had just filled with spiked punch was lifted from his hand as he recognized the stern face of his elder brother. 

He swallowed and started explaining. “It’s not for me, Adam. Really, it’s not. I wouldn’t; really, I wouldn’t.” 

“Who is it for, Joseph?” 

“Mr. Benner. Honest, Adam, he asked me to fetch it for him.”  

Adam took his brother’s chin in his free hand and opened Little Joe’s mouth. Leaning closer, he ordered softly, “Breath out.” Little Joe exhaled. The scent was not exactly pleasant, but it carried no trace of alcohol. Adam relaxed and handed the cup back to his brother. “If this is for Mr. Benner, then you’d best take it to him.” 

Little Joe took the cup and looked up at his brother. “I’m being good, Adam. I don’t want you or Ma mad with me.” 

Adam smiled down at the boy. “Glad to hear that, Joe.” 

Little Joe started to walk away but stopped when Adam once again spoke his name. 

“Little Joe, wait. Do you know where Hoss is?” 

Little Joe swallowed nervously. “He’s got to be around somewhere.” Joe looked around evasively and then darted quickly away. 

The stern look that had left Adam’s features only a minute before returned. Little Joe might be behaving, but he had the feeling that his other brother was not. Scanning the room with more thoroughness, Adam realized that Hoss was nowhere within those four walls. While he was deciding on his next step, his father’s old friend, Roy Coffee, walked up. 

“Good to see you here, Adam. We don’t see you at these functions often enough.” 

“The ranch keeps me busy, Roy.” 

“The ranch and those brothers of yours.” 

“Speaking of my brothers, have you seen Hoss?” 

Roy shifted nervously. “Well, actually I saw Hoss step outside a few minutes ago.” 

Adam read the correct assumption into Roy’s demeanor. “Was he alone?” 

Roy shook his head. “No.” 

“Who was with him, Roy?” 

“Well, now, let me see.” 

“Roy, what exactly are you trying not to tell me?” Adam’s demand was sharp. 

“Now, don’t go getting all heated up. Hoss and that little Crawford girl just went outside for some fresh air, I expect.” Roy used his most soothing tone. 

“Ellie Crawford! She’s two years older than Hoss!”  Roy was sure that it was Ellie Crawford’s reputation and not her age that had Adam seething. “Which door, Roy?” 

Roy pointed, and Adam exited in search of his brother. 

It took less than five minutes for Adam to locate Hoss and Ellie Crawford in the shadows behind the building. 

“Miss Crawford.” Adam’s tone was saccharine. “Please excuse me.” 

Hoss and the girl in his arms jumped apart at the sound of Adam’s voice. It was too dark for Hoss to see his brother’s face, but seeing Adam’s face was unnecessary. When Adam was angry, he features were like painted granite. 

“Why Adam Cartwright, you near about scared the life out of me.” Ellie’s voice held an aggrieved whine. Having lost the power of speech, Hoss just tried to hastily button his shirt. 

“My apologies, Miss Crawford. Miss Crawford, I need to speak with my brother. I’m sure you can find your way safely back inside.”  

Registering Adam’s tone and Hoss’s lack of protest, Ellie Crawford accepted defeat and departed. Hoss watched her leave with despair. Adam would never kill him with a witness present. 

Adam’s tone was cold enough to freeze lemonade. “When you get your shirt tucked in and your belt buckled, little brother, you will bring the buggy to the front door. We will be leaving as soon as I get Marie and Joe.” 

“A, aaa, Adam, do ya have to tell Ma?” Hoss had at last managed to speak. 

“I shall not embarrass our mother with the details, but that is for her sake not yours.” Adam spun on his heel and returned to the dance. 

“Joe, we’re leaving.” 

“But, Adam!” Little Joe’s protest was cut off as Adam grabbed his arm. 

“We’re leaving now, and there will be no argument from you. Understand?” Little Joe recognized Adam’s tone and nodded. Seeing the boy headed out the door, Adam walked over to Marie. 

After pulling the buggy up to the front door, Hoss had climbed into the rear seat. Little Joe took one look at the dejected figure of his big brother and knew he was the reason they were going home. 

Little Joe stood peering into the darkness. “Hoss, the old man’s breathing fire. What did you do?” 

“Leave it be, Joe.”  

“Aww, Hoss, tell me what ya did.” 

“I said leave it be, Joe!” 

“I’m having to leave the dance; you can at least tell me why.” Little Joe’s voice had become a shrill whine. 

“Tain’t none of your business, so leave it be!”  

Little Joe crossed his arms and stomped his foot. 

“Get in the buggy, Joseph!” Adam had walked up behind his little brother, and he accompanied his order with a swat to the youngster’s backside. 

“Oww!” Little Joe turned to face Adam. “That ain’t fair! You shouldn’t sting me just ’cause you’re mad at Hoss.” 

Adam opened his mouth to say any swat Joe received could never be a lick amiss but swallowed his retort when he felt Marie’s hand on his arm. The boy was right; it was his middle brother that deserved his wrath. “Get in the buggy, Joe.”  His voice was calmer. Then he took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have smacked you. I’m sorry.” 

Satisfied Little Joe crawled into the buggy and sat beside Hoss. Adam settled Marie into the front seat and took his place behind the reigns. The ride home was tense and silent. 

 

********** 

Marie closed Little Joe’s door behind her and descended the stairs to wait. Adam had followed Hoss into the barn almost a half an hour before. As of yet, neither of her elder sons had entered the house. Marie sighed. Adam had given her only a cursory explanation of Hoss’s misbehavior, but it had been obvious that this was a matter best handled by a man. Marie sighed again and wandered over to the huge desk that had been her husband’s. Picking up the daguerreotype Adam kept there, she studied the face that smiled back at her. Oh, Ben! The pain that cut through her was physical and so intense she could not breathe. We need you so, my love! 

Hearing the front door open, she turned her head and watched Hoss walk dejectedly across the room and up the stairs. Placing the daguerreotype in its place, she turned and followed. 

“Come in.” Marie opened the door and saw Hoss standing staring out of his bedroom window. 

“Eric.” The boy turned to face her, but his eyes focused on the floor. 

“I’m sorry, Ma. Really, I am.” Tears washed down his checks. 

Marie walked over to him and tilted her head to look directly into his eyes. “Adam has made you understand why such things are not acceptable?” 

“Yes, ma’am. He made it real clear.” A deep flush spread across his damp cheeks. He could still hear his brother’s clipped words. Some girls would view a shotgun wedding to one-fourth of the Ponderosa as quite a desirable outcome. 

“Then we will speak no more about it.” Marie smiled her forgiveness. Standing on tiptoe, she kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, my son.” Hoss caught her in a bear hug. 

“Goodnight, Mama.” 

Marie once again descended the stairs. She looked about the room for her eldest. He had not returned to the house. Suddenly she darted across the room and out the door.  

“Adam!” Marie strode across the yard to where her son was preparing to mount his horse. He turned to face her. 

“Don’t ask for another favor.”  He was determined to go riding. 

“I shall not ask a favor. No, I shall remind you of a promise.” She was determined that he would not court danger tonight. It was an old battle. Adam had first waged war over riding alone at night with Ben. When he was nineteen, Marie had extracted a promise from him that they both knew he had broken repeatedly. Adam looked into his stepmother’s eyes. Yes, he had broken that promise more than once, but never had he thrown the pieces in her face. He looked away. 

“Your father…” 

“My pa is gone.” His voice was flat, but the despair was still there. He slowly led his horse into the barn. 

 

********** 

Marie knew what had awakened her as soon as she opened her eyes. Hearing the clock chime four times, she rose and quickly donned her riding clothes. She could hear Hoss snoring as she passed his door, and she knew that Little Joe would never be awake at this hour. Exiting the house, she saddled her horse. She knew where he was headed, and she intended to speak with him there. 

She dismounted and walked slowly toward the young man sitting beside the grave. He did not even glance toward her, but then he had known it was Marie when he heard her horse. 

She studied his profile as he stared at the marble of his father’s headstone. Tears filled her eyes. “Adam, I’m so sorry.” 

He answered without turning. “For what?” 

“For not being strong enough.” 

He looked at her then, and the corners of his mouth twisted upwards. “You were strong enough to keep me in hand.” 

“But not strong enough to let you have your dream.” They both knew the dream he had lost. His admittance to Harvard had arrived three weeks before his father’s headstone. Marie knew he still had that letter tucked away. 

Adam looked back at the black marble. Would his father’s dream have died if he had left to follow his own? He forced a deep breath into his lungs. She would have done whatever was needed. The Ponderosa would not be what it was today, but he knew that he had had a choice. 

He looked at her again. “I never would have left, regardless. My brothers had lost too much already.” 

“And you, Adam?” He had lost most of all. 

He did not answer but looked away and changed the subject instead. “I was remembering. Pa caught me sparking with Elsie Devers behind the barn when I was sixteen. You were having one of your parties. Did he tell you?” 

“No.” 

“Then you didn’t know why I couldn’t sit at table the next morning.” 

“I said Ben did not tell me; I never said I didn’t know.”  Adam turned to face her again. “Will Hoss be able to ride to church this morning?”  

“The only thing I burned was his ears.” He watched her right eyebrow rise. “Well, he is eighteen and bigger than me.” 

“Hoss accepts you authority, Adam. So?” 

“Well, really, it was Ellie Crawford’s fault!” 

A soft laugh escaped Marie’s lips. “All her fault?” 

“Hoss is no match for a girl like her.”  

He had relaxed, so she risked asking. “Was there no worthy match for you at the dance last night?” 

“I danced every dance, Marie. Weren’t you pleased?” He grinned. 

“It does not please me to see one of my sons run away.” Her tone had grown far too serious. 

Adam sprang to his feet. “Run away! I don’t run away.” 

“What would you call it then when you go in the direction opposite to the thing you fear?” 

“What is it you think I’m afraid of?”  

It did not matter if he would not admit it to her, but he needed to admit it to himself. “There are two whose loss would rip your heart and tear your world apart. You, my son, are afraid to allow another into your life.” 

His face turned to granite, but his eyes burned into hers. His words when they came were almost too soft for her to hear. “Not two, Ma, but three. You know that; don’t you?” 

She smiled as the tears filled her eyes. “Yes, three, but that is not enough, my son.” 

“Is it enough for you?”  

“For me, yes. Adam, when I found myself alone without my first love or my first child, I thought the pain would kill me, but I still I breathed. Then God sent me my Benjamin, and I lived again.” Her eyes went to the words on the headstone. “When God took him from me, the pain I felt…” She hesitated.  “I prayed that it would kill me.” She drew in a deep breath and brought her eyes to Adam’s. “Were the pain ten thousand times what I still feel it could not outweigh the joy he brought to me. Adam, I have but to close my eyes to feel his arms around me again. That is why three will always be enough for me.” 

“I, I.” Adam was so seldom without words when he wished to speak. 

“Time and its cruelties may someday make a lonely old woman of me, Adam.” She reached up and touched his cheek. “You are far too young to let fear make a lonely old man of you.” She did not wait for an answer but mounted and rode toward home. 

 

********** 

“Joe, I said ya best get up now, young’un.” 

“No.” The single word was muffled by the blankets Little Joe had drawn over his head. 

“Come on now. Ya got to get ready for mass.” Hoss’s voiced cajoled. 

“Don’t wanna!”  

Hoss pulled the blankets from the boy. “Now, we ain’t gonna have the old man in here fussing about ya making people late.” Little Joe just grunted. “I could set your behind stinging.” Hoss tried to make his voice stern. 

“Ya won’t.” Little Joe was confident but rolled onto his back, nevertheless. 

“Come on, little brother, please.”  

“You’re just worried ’cause you’re in Adam’s bad books already.” Curiosity bringing him to life, Little Joe sat up. “Say, Hoss, what did you do?” 

“I’ll tell ya if you’re downstairs before Adam is.” Hoss ignored his little brother’s protest and went downstairs. Little Joe scrambled through his morning routine and joined him just as Marie and Adam came into the house. 

Hoss and Little Joe exchanged a glance wondering where their mother and brother had been so early in the morning. Then Hoss looked at Adam. “Good morning, Ma. Good morning, Elder Brother.” 

“Good morning, Hoss.” Neither of them sounded angry, but Hoss was sure that neither of them had forgotten about last night.  

Hoss faced Marie but looked at Adam from the side of his eyes. “Thought I’d go to mass with ya, Ma. Little Joe’s serving on the altar, ya know.” 

“Yes, I know which is why we cannot be late.”  

Adam knew Hoss’s decision was based more on concern about spending the morning with his older brother than a desire to see his younger brother acting as altar boy. Before Marie could continue, Adam spoke up. “Perhaps I shall join you then.” 

“I shall be most pleased to have all my sons with me at church.” Marie’s smile encompassed them all. “But we must hurry!” 

With Marie and Adam upstairs, Little Joe cornered Hoss. “Ya got to tell me, Hoss.”  Hoss knew that his little brother would never let things rest until he had some kind of answer, and Hoss never really lied to Little Joe. 

“Well, I broke one of the rules Ma and Adam got about behaving at dances.” 

That much he had already deduced on his own. “Which one?”  

“Well, well, I went outside with a girl.” Hoss blushed. 

“And Adam caught ya? That’s why the old man was so mad?” Hoss’s face told Little Joe there was more to the story. “He saw you kissing her! He did, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah.” 

Little Joe sucked in his breath. “How hard did he tan ya?” 

“He didn’t.” 

“He didn’t?” 

“I ain’t a kid no more, Joe.” 

Little Joe chewed his lip in wonder. “Ma must’ve stopped him.”  

 

********** 

Adam watched his brother as he walked down the aisle to the altar with Father Aloysius. Decked out in the robes of an acolyte, Little Joe looked almost angelic. Well, at the very least he looked innocent and holy which only proved that looks could be deceiving. Adam had accompanied his stepmother and little brother to their church enough times to be familiar with the ritual and easily stood and kneeled appropriately with the rest of the congregation. Still, he always felt slightly out of place. Hoss had told him he felt much the same. Ben Cartwright had raised his two older sons in his own Protestant faith but had never even considered asking Marie to change her beliefs. When Little Joe had been born, Ben had not been able to deny his wife’s pleas that their son be baptized into the Roman Catholic faith. To his father the faith in a person’s heart mattered much more than the building in which they prayed. Perhaps that had been just as well. To Marie’s credit, she had never pressured him or Hoss to change churches even after their father’s death. She had insisted on their weekly attendance at services, but the choice of church had remained their own. 

As most of the congregation rose to go to communion, Adam reseated himself and glanced about at the parishioners. He was familiar with most of the people at the service. Many were longtime friends of his stepmother. His attention was caught by a young woman who had remained kneeling. The sunlight coming through the stained-glass window made a rainbow of the white lace covering her dark hair. Adam watched her slide back into the pew and wondered who she was and why she was not joining the communicants. Rarely did a Catholic attend mass without partaking of the sacrament. Adam watched her covertly until he heard Father Aloysius pronounce the benediction. Taking Marie’s arm, he escorted her toward the door. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw that the girl was now kneeling in prayer at the Virgin’s altar. 

“Adam, so good to see you and you, Erik” Father Aloysius welcomed the elder Cartwright brothers in a warm and booming voice.  Adam truly liked the priest who was an intelligent man with a sometimes-wicked sense of humor and one who truly cared about all of God’s lambs. 

“Thank you, Father.” Adam saw a look pass between the priest and his stepmother. Adam knew that the priest heard Marie’s confession weekly but was not sure what family concerns she confided to the man outside of the confessional. 

“Such fine sons the Lord has blessed you with, Marie.” He smiled at Little Joe who had run up to his mother’s side after shedding his robes. “Yes, sons to be proud of.” The priest reached out and ruffled the boy’s curls. “You did a fine job today, my son.” 

Marie placed her arm around Little Joe’s shoulders.  ” Yes, Father, I am very blessed and very proud.” Little Joe beamed, and Hoss blushed at the praise.  

“We’re blessed to have Ma.” Adam observed simply. 

“Surely, surely!” Then the priest’s attention was taken by the family exiting behind them, and Adam led his family to their buggy. 

Since Marie and Little Joe could not eat before taking communion, it had become the family custom for them to go from church to the International House for Sunday breakfast. This allowed Hop Sing one morning to himself. Of course, an array of breads, muffins, or biscuits was always available to Hoss and Adam for a pre-church snack. 

Entering the International House, the Cartwrights found a table. Hoss seemed to have relaxed since the conversation with Father Aloysius and was teasing Little Joe about wearing skirts. Adam opened his mouth to admonish Hoss, but then his eyes started to sparkle. 

“Yeah, Little Joe, after seeing what an angel you looked this morning…” 

“I ain’t no angel!” Little Joe’s retort was loud enough to attract the attention of half the patrons in the dining room. Since the Cartwrights were well known in Virginia City, a number of onlookers stared at the family and nodded their heads in agreement with Joe’s statement. 

“Boys!” Marie’s eyes swept over all three of her sons demanding better manners, but inwardly she allowed herself a smile. Adam too seldom allowed himself to be brother instead of substitute father. 

“Angels is girls.” Little Joe thrust out his lower lip. 

“Angels are girls.” Adam corrected Joe’s grammar automatically.  “Actually, many of the most important angels in the Bible are male. Let’s see. There’s the Archangel Gabriel and the Archangel Michael.” 

“Well, if them archangels are in charge of them other angels then they got to be men, don’t they?”  

Adam and Hoss looked at Marie but were spared any problematic answers by the arrival of a girl to take their breakfast order. 

From then on, the conversation remained good-humored, and several people stopped by for an exchange of greetings and news. Adam finished his third cup of coffee. He was only half listening to the gossip his mother was hearing from none other than Cordelia Withers when he saw a lone woman walk into the dining room. It was the girl that had skipped communion. Her head was uncovered, and as she scanned the room for a table, he managed a long look at her face. 

“Pardon me, Mrs. Withers. Would you know who that young lady is?”  

Cordelia Withers allowed her eyes to follow Adam’s gesture. “That girl just coming in? No, I haven’t the slightest idea who she is. Why do you ask?” 

Adam smiled at the older woman. “It’s just you are so knowledgeable about the citizens of our fair city. I saw her at mass earlier today. She must be new in town.” 

“And I thought ya was listening to the good father.” Hoss could not resist teasing his brother. 

Marie watched a slight blush tinge her eldest son’s cheeks. That most unusual occurrence piqued her interest, and she resolved to find out herself just who it was who had caught her son’s eye. 

Adam gave his middle brother a scornful glare that reminded Hoss how recently he had felt Adam’s wrath. “It’s of no matter. Ma, we should really be going. There are several things that Hoss needs to get done.” 

 

********** 

Hoss finished the last chore on the list that had filled his normally free Sunday afternoon. It had not been said, but everyone knew that they were his punishment for the incident at the dance. Well, he had broken the rules, so it was only right. Right was a word often connected with his elder brother. Adam was right about more than almost any other person Hoss knew. Adam had been right about everything he had said in the barn last night. Hoss had spent a great deal of time since then thinking about the things Adam had said. Some of his ponderings were the ones that Adam had intended, but some of them would have surprised his older brother.  

Hoss pulled off his gloves and sat down on the edge of the porch. He sighed. When he turned twenty-one, he would be a rich man. He had just realized that in a way that had not occurred to him before Adam’s talk. The thought made Hoss nervous. Hoss knew that if he did not have Adam the thought would make him plumb scared. It was not that he wanted to be poor. No, Hoss could remember being poor, not as well as Adam could, but still, he could remember. Even more clearly, he could recall the in-between time when his family had been neither poor nor wealthy. Finally, had come what they had now. Not that Hoss thought often about being what others called rich. That was because he and his family worked hard each day and most of what made them rich was in and on the land not in their pockets or a bank. Still, the money was there when they needed or just wanted things. Like the other day when he had told Adam that Mr. Perkins’s bull would be a good addition for their herd. Adam had gone to the safe and given him eight hundred dollars for the purchase. There were not many families around that could go to the safe and get eight hundred dollars to give to an eighteen-year-old. Hoss’s chest swelled a little with the thought that Adam trusted his judgment on these things. In fact, he had been only fourteen the first time Adam had declined to go and check his assessment of an animal. 

“Ain’t ya gonna come see for yourself, Adam?” Hoss had inquired. 

Adam had shrugged nonchalantly. “That would just be a waste of time I haven’t got. If you say that animal is the one we need, well, you’re a better judge of that than I.” Adam had smiled at Hoss’s sharp intake of breath. “You’ve a talent for it, brother, and a boss should always leave it to the man with the talent.” 

Well, it was true that he was good at judging animals; he just wished he was as good at judging people. He had been so wrong about that Ellie Crawford. Hoss’s thoughts circled back to the dance. He should have followed the rules. He was not like his little brother. He understood rules and liked the protection they provided. Hoss looked over at the wood he had just split. He thought about the fact that when he failed to let the rules protect him his family always did. First his pa and now Adam had always been there. Hoss had no trouble accepting the authority of those who loved him. He stood and walked into the house. 

“Them chores are all done, Adam.” Hoss stopped beside his brother’s chair. 

Adam looked up at his little brother towering over him and spoke in the same voice his pa had always used. “Punishment’s over then.” He had expected Hoss to smile, but his brother’s blue eyes remained troubled. 

Hoss glanced around the room to make sure they were alone. “I’m real sorry, Adam.” 

Adam motioned for Hoss to sit across from him on the hearth. “You’ve already been forgiven.”  

“Not about breaking the rules. Well, I am but not just about that.” 

“What are you apologizing for, Hoss?” 

Hoss swallowed. “I’m real sorry for ruining your evening. Ya hardly ever have a fun night, and I ruined it for ya. I’m real sorry.” Adam could see the shine of tears in his brother’s eyes. 

Hoss had obviously been so smitten with the Crawford girl that he had never noticed Adam’s choice of partners. “Hoss, don’t, don’t worry about it.” He leaned conspiratorially closer and whispered. “Really, you saved me from Ma’s matchmaking actually.” He allowed his eyes to gleam mischievously. “And from her wrath when I didn’t go along.” 

Hoss could tell Adam was telling the truth, and his conscience eased a bit. He studied his brother’s face for a moment. “Adam, wasn’t there a gal that you wouldn’t ‘ve minded being matchmaked with?”  

For a moment a single image rose in Adam’s mind, but he shook it away. “No, no.” Hoss had seen the flicker in his brother’s eyes and questioned with his own. “Not at the dance.” Adam spoke very softly. 

“Ya work too hard.” Hoss’s statement held all the worry that had been plaguing him. 

Adam leaned back in his chair and tugged unconsciously on his ear. “Now, I did have a thought earlier, younger brother.” 

“What?” 

“I do have to go to the lumber camp tomorrow, and I won’t be back before Tuesday night, but- and it is but, mind you- but if everything goes well, and the things here get done…” 

“I’ll see to that!”  

“Well, then you and I could take Little Joe to the lake for the day. The water should still be warm enough for swimming.” Adam laughed. “If we keep moving that is.” 

A grin grew on Hoss’s face. It had been so long since all three of them had spent time together just having fun.  

“But we don’t tell Little Joe until that morning.” Adam insistence was firm but gentle. He did not have to tell Hoss why. Adam did not want Little Joe hurt if some everyday crisis prevented them from going. 

Hoss nodded his head. 

 

********** 

“Have ya got them chores done yet?” The answer to Hoss’s question was obvious before he asked it. 

Little Joe jumped and picked up the rake. “I’m getting to them.” 

“Well, ya best get to them a mite faster. Adam’ll be home before long.” 

“So.”  Little Joe’s tone was dismissive, but he started moving the rake, nonetheless. 

“So, you don’t want to be explaining why your chores ain’t done when he gets here, or he’ll be explaining about irresponsibility and laziness, and ya know where that discussion will be aimed.” Hoss glared at his little brother and then aimed a significant glance at his backside. 

“I’m doing ’em.” Little Joe picked up speed. Hoss decided a helping hand would not go amiss, and the two brothers finished off Joe’s chores. 

Adam entered the house and sniffed. Not only had things gone smoothly at the lumber camp, but also, he had made it home in time for dinner. He removed his hat and gun belt. 

“Adam! You’re home.” Adam heard his youngest brother’s voice and stiffened in preparedness. Moments later he felt Little Joe land against his back as Joe put a strangle hold around Adam’s neck. Adam accepted Little Joe’s weight as the boy placed his legs around his brother’s waist. Walking over to the settee, Adam dumped his load backwards onto to cushion.  Hoss stood and watched his brothers’ version of a welcome home hug. 

“Being as your home early, things must’ve gone well.” Hoss held his breath waiting for a reply. 

“Very well!” Adam gave Hoss a broad wink. “Everything caught up here?” 

“Everything taken care of.” Hoss nodded in emphasis. “Even the young’un’s chores.” 

“Adam, you’re home!” Marie had entered from the kitchen.  

“I didn’t want to miss another of Hop Sing’s meals.” Adam spoke loudly enough for his voice to carry into the kitchen. 

“You’re just in time then. Boys, get cleaned up. Dinner in five minutes.” Marie ordered while walking up to Adam and placing a welcome home kiss on his cheek. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Adam sang out, and his brothers echoed him. Five minutes later they were sitting down enjoying Hop Sing’s chicken fricassee. 

Adam filled his family in on the details of his trip, and Hoss gave his brother an accounting of what had been done in his absence. Little Joe chattered about his day, and Marie overlooked when he talked with food in his mouth. It was far too pleasant a meal to spoil with reprimands. 

After Hop Sing had set their apple cobbler in place, Marie spoke. “Adam, have you anything special planned for tomorrow?” 

Hoss jerked and looked at his older brother. Adam took a swallow of coffee before he opened his mouth. “Little Joe, would you see if Hop Sing has anymore cherry preserves. I’d like some on that last biscuit. Please.” 

Little Joe looked at his brother and then rose from his chair. As his back disappeared through the door, Adam turned and softly answered his stepmother.  “Actually, Hoss and I thought we might take Little Joe up to the lake for the day, but if there is something you need done.” 

“No, no, nothing that can’t wait.” Marie smiled. “That sounds like a wonderful plan.” 

“Would ya like to come too, Ma?” Hoss was quick to extend the invitation and add a smile for his mother. 

Marie paused. She thought some just-brother-time would be very good for all her sons. She shook her head gently. “Not this time. The three of you have fun. I take it Little Joe doesn’t know?” 

“Not until tomorrow. We thought it would be a surprise.”  

“Then we’d best mention it no more.”  Marie placed her finger against her lips and smiled.  She too knew about sudden emergencies. 

Little Joe had realized he was being sent from the room for reasons other than cherry preserves and simply stopped out of sight of the dining room but within earshot. He nearly cheered when he heard his brothers’ intentions and his mother’s approval but managed to remain quiet. He took a deep breath. If his brother caught him eavesdropping the punishment might well be his having to miss the outing. In fact, that could be the punishment for any crime committed between now and their departure.  Little Joe made a silent vow to be good and avoid trouble. He quickly went to the kitchen and retrieved the preserves.  

As he ate his cobbler, Little Joe considered how best to keep himself out of trouble. Then it occurred to him. As Adam settled himself into his favorite chair and before he could pick up a book or newspaper, Little Joe slid onto the chair arm. 

“Adam, would ya do something?” Joe used the pleading tone of a little boy. 

“What, Little Joe?” 

“Well, I was thinking it would be real nice if you played, so we could sing. Don’t you think that would be nice, Ma?” 

“Very nice, Joseph, but Adam had a long ride. He may be too tired.” Marie chided the boy gently. 

Little Joe adopted a pitifully dejected air and slid off the chair. “Well, if you’re too tired.” 

Adam raised his hand to his chin as if to ponder his decision. “Well, I’m too tired to walk up and down those stairs, but if you fetch my guitar, I think I have enough energy left to play a few songs.” 

“All right!” Joe dashed up the stairs. He slowed down as he entered his brother’s room. Little Joe was seldom alone in Adam’s room and almost never with his brother’s permission. He carefully took down his brother’s guitar. Little Joe had a momentary vision of tripping and crushing his brother’s prize possession. His return to the living room took five times as long as the trip upstairs. 

Adam watched his brother taking great care coming down the stairs and swallowed the warning he had been about to utter.  

The guitar safely delivered, Little Joe sat crossed legged on the stone hearth. It was the one place he could put his feet up without the reprimand: Joseph, take your feet of the furniture. 

Adam tuned the instrument and then grinned at Little Joe. He began playing a lively tune that was one of his little brother’s favorites. One song followed another. Sometimes they all sang. Sometimes there were duets or solos. Marie sang a Creole ballad she had learned as a child. Though they could understand few of the words, her sons enjoyed the sound of her sweet soprano. Adam even taught his brothers the first two verses of a ditty he had learned in San Francisco. The remaining verses became far too ribald for Little Joe’s ears, so he shook his head when Hoss asked if there were more to the song. Catching a passing look on Marie’s face, Adam wondered if there was any possible way she could know about the rest of the song. No, he admonished himself there was no possible way she could have heard it. 

Adam set down the guitar. “Time for bed, Joe.” 

Little Joe opened his mouth to complain and then choked off the whine. “Yes, sir, Adam. Good night.” He walked up to Hoss and grabbed his wrist in both hands.  He tugged on Hoss’s arm. “Come on, Hoss. You don’t want to be a lazybones in the morning.” 

Adam and Marie exchanged questioning glances and then smiled at the sight of Little Joe straining to pull Hoss to his feet. Hoss did not even appear to resist; he simply did not budge. Then in a move that was unexpectedly quick, Hoss surged to his feet and tossed Joe over his shoulder. Little Joe squealed and called out his good nights as Hoss toted him up the stairs. 

 

********** 

They had roughhoused as much as they had actually swum. Adam and Hoss had both tossed Little Joe repeatedly into the lake. Hoss had tossed Adam in almost as easily. It had taken Adam and Joe working in tandem to topple Hoss, but they had succeeded. Then they had stood in triumph with their arms around each other laughing until they could no longer stand. They had eaten the lunch Hop Sing had sent including an entire cherry pie and then moved to a quiet inlet where the fish were guaranteed to bite. Spreading out along the shore the three Cartwright brothers had settled down to fish in the warm afternoon sun. 

Sticking his pole in the ground, Little Joe went to sit next to his middle brother and whispered in his ear. Hoss glanced over at Adam who was stretched out with his hat tip over his eyes. 

Hoss shook his head. “The old man stayed home today, but he’s liable to come racing right down here if ya try that, little brother.” 

Joe chewed his lip for a moment and then stretched out in the grass. “Guess you’re right.” Little Joe was enjoying the day and the last thing he wanted was for it to end with a real licking. Joe stared up at the sky and then spoke softly.  “Do ya think Adam would have been like this all the time if Pa hadn’t died?” 

Hoss looked down into the face of his baby brother. “Not all of the time. The pa in him came out sometimes even back then, but we probably would have got to see a lot more of this side of him.” 

Adam had been watching his brothers from beneath his hat brim. He could not hear what was being said but told himself to be on the alert. Then his gaze went further along the shore. 

“Joe!” Adam sat up. “Your pole! You’ve got a fish.”  

Little Joe scrambled to grab his pole. It was being bent almost in half. With his brothers standing behind him shouting encouragement and instructions, Joe struggled to bring the fish to shore. Finally, it lay flopping on the bank. 

“Lookie there! Look at him! Have ya ever seen such a whopper?” Little Joe was nearly jumping with excitement. 

Adam and Hoss exchanged grins. “Well, he might make a nice meal for you seeing as how you’re still just a boy.” Adam could not resist teasing. 

“Yeah, now a fish that would feed me…”  

Little Joe put his hands on his hips. “Even you couldn’t eat all of him, Hoss. Just admit it. Nobody is gonna catch a fish bigger than that one. I bet he’s the biggest fish in the lake.” 

Adam and Hoss laughed. Little Joe flushed red and shouted.  “You two are just jealous!”  He emphasized his frustration by sticking out his tongue at his older brothers. 

“Now, you’ve done it, little boy.” Adam started toward Joe who turned and ran. Hoss stepped forward but catching the gleam in his older brother’s eye he stopped. Adam chased after Little Joe. His long legs quickly closed the distance between them. His arms reached out and lifted Joe off his feet. Little Joe squealed, and Hoss watched as Adam tossed the boy over his shoulder and carry him back toward the lake. 

“Adam, he ain’t got no other clothes.” Hoss shouted. Adam stopped and turned to face his younger but larger brother. “Now, Adam, it’ll be too cool for him to ride home in wet clothes.” 

Adam’s lips curled up in a grin. “We could let him ride home naked.” 

“Adam!” Little Joe’s shout echoed across the lake. Adam started laughing and dropped the boy on the ground. Joe resorted to the only revenge at his disposal. Only his family knew just how ticklish Adam was in certain places. Little Joe knew the exact spots. He darted toward his older brother and began his assault. Moments later they were rolling around on the grass. Hoss stepped back and listened to Adams deep guffaws and Joe’s shrill giggles mix. Breathless and exhausted they soon stretched out flat and silently watched the clouds above. 

Little Joe rolled over on his stomach placing his chin on his hands. “Adam, did Pa play with us much?” 

Adam propped himself up on his elbows, so he could see his little brother’s face. Little Joe had been so young that he had few real memories of their father. He and Hoss tried very hard to keep those memories alive and add their own to Joe’s. “Pa, loved to play with all of us. He played the most with you, I think.” 

“Yeah, Short Shanks, sometimes we’d come in and find him on the floor playing with ya.” Hoss grinned. “Then we’d know that he was gonna be in a good mood. He was always in a good mood after he played with you.” 

Adam shared a smile with Hoss. Neither of them mentioned that there had been times when they had sent Little Joe to play with their father because they needed Pa in a good mood. 

“Tell me a story about Pa playing, Adam, please.” Little Joe sat up and waited for Adam to begin. 

Adam settled himself cross-legged before his brother. “Well, there was one time that I remember. It was spring, and it had been raining for days.” 

A deep grin spread over Hoss’s face. Adam had picked a good memory. 

“Hoss and I had spent too much time in the house first with the snow and then with the rain. When it stopped, Hoss was ready to race outside.” 

“Did I ask to go out?” Little Joe wanted to know his place in the story. 

“No, you weren’t even two yet and were upstairs taking your nap. Well, Hoss asked, but Ma had other ideas. The whole yard was a sea of mud, and she didn’t want it tracked through the house. She told Hoss to wait a bit.” 

“I did wait a bit.” Hoss was eager to defend himself. 

“Yeah, but your idea of a bit and Marie’s were quite different.  In ten minutes, Hoss had convinced himself he had waited a bit, and outside he went.” 

“Yeah, I told myself if I took off my shoes, I could wash my feet and not track mud anywhere. I figured that would keep Ma from getting mad.” 

“Did she get mad?” Little Joe inquired excitedly. 

“I’ll get to that later. Anyway, I looked out my window and saw Hoss outside, so I went down after him.” 

“Bet ya came out fussing.” Little Joe never listened without interrupting. 

“He sure did, but I didn’t pay no heed ’cause it felt so good to be outside. I told him to come play or go away.” 

“I decided to drag him back inside, so I took off my shoes and went after him. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but he slipped, and I slipped, and I forgot about going inside. We ended up playing and having a mud fight. Then all of a sudden we heard it.” Adam paused dramatically. “The bellow of our full names. Pa had come home. We were sitting in that mud looking up at Pa and seeing that he had a streak of mud down the front of his shirt. We didn’t know who had thrown the mud that hit Pa; we just knew we were both dead.” 

“Was Pa really mad?” Little Joe’s eyes were wide.  

“We thought so until he reached down and flung a handful of mud at each of us. The fight was on again only it was Pa against Hoss and me.” 

“And we were winning.” Hoss’s voice held a whine. “Then we heard Ma calling through the window.” 

“Well, we scrambled to our feet and were ready to run when Ma walked out the door and froze us in our tracks. Well, she froze Hoss and me, but Pa just went and slipped out of sight.” 

“He left ya?” Little Joe leaned closer as if to catch the next part of the story that much quicker. 

“With mud all over us and mud splattered all over the porch and walls of the house. Ma stood there with her eyes glaring and her hands flying while all those French exclamations of hers filled the air. Then she took a deep breath and told us to not move.” Adam paused to exchange looks with Hoss. 

“Ya didn’t move, did ya?” Little Joe knew exactly how bad an idea that would have been. 

“We had better sense than that, little brother. Someone would have thought we were statues if they had seen us waiting. Then Ma walked back out onto the porch with her hairbrush in her hand.” 

Little Joe took in a sharp breath. He was well acquainted with his mother’s hairbrush. 

“She pointed to two spots and told us to get ourselves there. It must have taken us two whole minutes to walk those few yards. Then she told us to lean over and catch hold of the rail.” 

Little Joe sucked in another breath.  

“We closed our eyes and waited for what we knew was coming; only it never came. We heard Ma exclaim, ‘Ben!’ and our eyes flew open. We looked and saw that Pa had come up behind Ma and caught her wrist. She had turned to see him standing there covered in mud. She said something in French, and Pa pulled her to him. The next thing we knew Pa and Ma were kissing. We near about shouted with happiness.” 

” ‘Cause ya knew you weren’t gonna get that licking?” Little Joe relaxed back onto the grass. 

“That’s right, Joe. Pa sent us off to the washhouse, and while we were bathing Pa did all the cleaning up that needed to be done.” Finished with his story, Adam grew quiet. 

“Adam…” Little Joe’s voice was soft and wistful. “On the way home could we stop and visit Pa?” 

“Sure, Joe, I’m certain Pa would like a visit from his boys.” 

 

********** 

Adam placed his hat on his head as he and Marie stepped out onto the raised sidewalk. Adam really did not think this meeting with Hiram had been necessary, but Marie had wanted it, and they had accomplished a few tasks that needed to be done. 

“Adam?”  Marie voice drew her stepson’s attention. “It’s a long ride back to the ranch, and I’m hungry already. Perhaps we should have an early lunch in town.” 

“If you’d like.” Adam agreed and turned to walk toward the International House. 

“Wait.”  Adam stopped and looked inquiringly at Marie. 

“It’s just, well, we always eat at the International House, and, well, I’m in the mood for a change of pace.”  

“Did you have some place in mind?” 

“I did hear of a new place the other day at the mercantile. They said the food was quite good. Different but good.” Marie held her breath as she waited for his answer. 

“Fine by me.” Adam shrugged. “Just where is this place?” 

Marie breathed again and told Adam where the café could be found. Adam frowned slightly at the location but took Marie’s arm and led her down the street.  

The front of the building looked respectable although a little shabby, but then people starting out could not always afford the best. Adam glanced down at Marie. 

“Are you sure this is where you’d like to eat?” 

“Have you no sense of adventure, old man?” Marie teased. Adam rolled his eyes and opened the door. With a grand sweep of his hand, he ushered Marie inside. 

Adam scanned the small number of customers. They were all tough-looking men, probably from the lumber and mining camps, but none of them looked like a troublemaker. Adam seated Marie and himself at one of the small, round tables. He was reading the menu board as a girl walked up. 

“Might I take your order?”  

At the sound of the soft voice, Adam turned and looked up. He sucked in his breath as he recognized her. It was the girl from St. Mary’s. His eyes flashed to his stepmother’s face in time to see a slight grin dissolve into a warm smile. He collected his thoughts as Marie ordered and then calmly gave his own order. After the girl had left, he frowned at the woman across the table. 

“You knew!” 

“Knew what, son?” Marie replied nonchalantly.  

“Knew that she worked here.” 

“She? You mean the girl waiting on tables?” 

“You know that’s who I mean.”  Adam’s tone had taken on an angry edge. 

“If you’re upset, son, we can simply leave.”  Marie reached for her handbag. 

“No!” Adam shifted in his chair. “No, we’ve ordered; we’ll eat.” 

“Fine.” Marie settled more comfortably in her chair. “Though I’d appreciate an eating companion without a scowl on his face.” 

“You put it there. ” Adam’s words snapped. Marie’s reprimand was a silent one but effective all the same.  Adam dropped his eyes from her glare. She could still do it. She could still make him feel like a naughty child with a single look.  

They sat in silence until the girl returned with the food. Marie studied the young woman and judged her to be about twenty and of Spanish descent. She was a comely thing but not a great beauty. Marie wondered what exactly had drawn Adam’s attention to this particular female. 

“That smells wonderful.”  Marie picked up her fork.  

“I hope you’ll enjoy it, ma’am. The cook really does a very good job. Is there anything else I can bring you?” 

“No.” Adam tone was extremely gruff, and the girl quickly dropped her eyes to the floor. 

Marie shot her stepson another glare and spoke quickly. “Didn’t I see you at St. Mary’s last Sunday, miss? 

The girl looked at Marie and smiled. “You may have, ma’am.” Then suddenly emboldened by the warm smile on Marie’s face she ventured to ask. “Are you a member of St. Mary’s, ma’am?” 

“Since it was built, and I thought I knew every one of its parishioners.” 

“I’ve only been in Virginia City for two weeks.” 

“Then let me welcome you, my dear. I’m Marie Cartwright and this is my son Adam.”  

The girl glanced at the man, saw his stern scowl, and quickly looked away. “My name is Consuela, Consuela Soledad.” Her voice was a soft murmur.  

“I am very pleased to meet you, Consuela. I hope to see you often at mass.” 

“Yes, ma’am, I hope to see you too.” The sound of people entering turned Consuela’s attention back to her work, and she excused herself. 

Adam and Marie ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Marie set her fork on the table with a sharp rap. Adam looked up from his plate and saw the anger in her eyes. 

“Adam Stoddard Cartwright, your rudeness was uncalled for.” Marie hissed words were just loud enough for Adam’s ears. 

The volume of Adam’s voice matched Marie’s as did its angry force. “That’s not the only thing that was uncalled for, Marie. I don’t need…” 

Marie cut off Adam’s statement. “What you need, young man, your father is not here to give you.” She slapped her napkin on the table and rose. Turning on her heel, she strode quickly out the door. Adam rose also but was delayed by the need to take out his wallet and deposit enough money to cover the cost of the food and their abrupt departure. Consuela stood in the doorway and wondered at the cause of the anger between the two. Then she shrugged and went to clear the table. 

Adam used his long legs to close the distance between himself and his stepmother. When he reached her side, he simply matched his steps to hers. His stepmother was furious. Well, so was he, but he knew neither of them would speak until they had some degree of privacy. They had already created enough of a public display. 

They had crossed onto Ponderosa land without a word passing between them. Adam pulled the buggy off the road near a small corpse of trees. 

“There’s no one about to hear.” His tone was terse. If they returned home, there was the possibility of one of the boys becoming an audience, and Adam intended to avoid that. He jumped from the buggy and went around to assist Marie, but she had already descended. She stalked into the shade and privacy of the trees. Adam followed. 

Marie turned and let loose a tirade in her native Creole. Adam stood feet apart and arms across his chest. When Marie paused for breath, he commented flatly. 

“You know I can’t understand your Creole French.” 

“Oh, I imagine you understand more than you’d ever admit. You’ve heard it often enough, and you learn everything else so easily.” 

Adam simply stared down out her and shrugged. Everything she had said was true. 

Marie fought to keep from slapping his face. It had been years since she had seen that insolent a smirk on his face, at least one directed at her. She turned her back to him. Taking a deep breath, she spoke with exaggerated control. 

“Shall I teach you then the words for rudeness and disrespect.” 

“And then you can teach me the phrase for high-handed interference.” 

Oh, she had known he would chafe at the idea that she had arranged a chance for him to meet the woman in whom he had expressed interest, but she had not expected this degree of anger and petulance. She bit her lip and changed tactics. 

“Adam, if Little Joe had acted that rudely to someone because he was angry with me, what would you be doing now?” 

Adam flinched. “I’m not twelve anymore, Marie.” 

She turned to face him. “What would you be saying to Hoss then?” 

“Hoss? Hoss wouldn’t…” His words trailed away. 

“No, Hoss, would never let himself hurt an innocent girl just to show me he was angry.” Marie flung the words at her son. 

“Hurt! Aren’t you stretching things a bit?” Adam challenged but inside his conscious began to dampen his anger. 

“Oh, since she didn’t burst into tears, you need feel no remorse?” Marie’s tone was acid, and she arched her right eyebrow. 

“I…” Adam swallowed. “I should not have been rude to the girl.” 

“And?” Adam’s eyes widen. She had learned that inflection from his father. 

His own inflection was the same as it had been at fifteen. “I’ll apologize to her.” 

“Good.” Marie crossed her arms and waited. 

Adam studied a tree root, took a deep breath, and spoke softly. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you as I did, Ma. I apologize.” Adam raised his eyes. “Can we discuss the situation now?” 

Marie let her breath out slowly. “Of course. What made you so angry?” 

“I don’t want you playing matchmaker, Marie. I am not some shy boy who needs his mama to arrange his courtships.” 

“All I arranged was an answer to your inquiry. You wanted to know who she was; now you do.” 

“Telling me would have been quite enough.”  

“I suppose so.” Marie’s sudden capitulation took the wind out of Adam’s sails. 

“Let’s go home.” He started back toward the buggy. Marie followed thinking about the fact that Adam would have to see Consuela again to apologize to her. 

 

********** 

Hoss looked up when he heard the buggy returning. He walked over and swung his stepmother gently to the ground. “Welcome home, Ma.” 

“Thank you, son.” Marie quickly walked into the house. Hoss studied his brother’s face. There was no trace of the relaxed good humor that had been there when he left for town. 

Adam felt Hoss’s eyes on him. “Are you finished with those repairs?” His inquiry was overly curt. 

“Just about.” 

“You’re not! Then what are you doing just standing about?”  

Hoss shifted nervously. Something had obviously happened in town. “I’ll see to the rig and then get right to it.” He reached to grasp the harness. 

“I used the rig; I’ll see to the rig. Go get your job done!” Adam jerked the horses into motion and led them into the barn. 

Hoss quickly finished the repairs he had been making. Taking a deep breath, he walked into the barn. Adam had finished with the rig and the team. He stood absently fingering some tack. He did not turn around when he heard Hoss enter. 

“Got everything done good and proper.”  Hoss spoke with forced cheerfulness. 

“Fine. You know what needs doing next?” Adam still had not turned to face Hoss. 

“Sure do.” Hoss turned to go and then stopped. Quietly he turned and walked back to his brother. He closed his eyes and pictured Adam as he had looked the day before at the lake. He placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, big brother?” 

“Nothing, Hoss.” 

“Then why are ya biting my head off and avoiding going into the house?” 

Adam turned. “I did, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have. I apologize.” 

“Accepted. Adam, I ain’t a little kid no more.” 

Adam’s eyes traveled from Hoss’s head to his toes and back again. He let out a soft chuckle. “You’d think that would be obvious to anyone, now wouldn’t you?” 

“Anyone ‘cepting a blind man and the brother who changed my diapers.” Hoss grinned widely. 

Adam laughed. “Ma and I had a row.” 

“Did ya now?” Hoss waited to see if Adam would tell him why. 

“Ma took another stab at matchmaking.” 

“Do I get to hear the whole story?” Hoss kept his tone nonchalant. 

Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “The short version.” Adam leaned against the half-wall of a stall while Hoss relaxed against another. “You know I asked Mrs. Withers about who a girl was?” 

“At breakfast Sunday.”  

“Well, apparently Marie found out she was serving tables in a new café, and that’s the real reason we went to town. We just happened to have lunch there.” Adam paused.  

Hoss knew better than to press his brother, so he asked a question easy for Adam to answer. “Is she pretty?” 

“Is she pretty?” 

“The girl ya met. Is she pretty?” 

“Yes, actually she is.” 

“Thought she would be.” Hoss nodded slightly. 

The corner of Adam’s lips curled faintly. “I was mad about Marie interfering in my affairs, and I was rude to the girl and to Marie.” 

“That’s when Ma got mad, I ‘spect.” 

“Yeah, that is when Ma got mad.” 

“You and Ma had a fight in the middle of the café?” Hoss’s eyes widened. 

“No, she walked out. The shouting waited until we were halfway home.” 

“Did ya have the sense to stop and not scare the horses?” 

“Yes, I also had the sense to apologize to Marie.” 

“So, if that’s not what’s still in your craw, what is?”  

“I still have to apologize to Consuela.” Adam dropped his eyes to the floor and ran his hand through his hair. 

Hoss sighed. He knew just how much Adam hated apologizing especially the kind of apology he was facing. 

“That’s her name, Consuela?” 

Adam nodded. 

Hoss decide to take the risk.  “Your apologizing, is it your idea or is Ma making ya?” 

Adam looked up. “Do you honestly think she could?” 

“She’s got her ways.” 

Adam grinned ruefully. “She does, but I going to apologize because I know I should.” 

“Good ’cause I wouldn’t want it to be like that time with Angela Claremont.” Hoss gave an exaggerated shudder.  

“You remember about Angela Claremont?” Adam was surprised. He had been thirteen, so Hoss had only been seven. 

Angela Claremont had been the most priggish, condescending snob in the school with the meanest mouth in town. Usually, Adam was able to ignore her because she spent most of her time belittling the other female students. She also had enough sense to leave both of the Cartwright brothers alone. Adam still could not have said exactly what made him reach the limit of his tolerance that day. It was not like she had said anything about him or teased Hoss or even subjected anyone in particular to her verbal torment. For whatever reason, he had decided while chewing his ham sandwich that it was time that Angela Claremont received her comeuppance and that he was the man for the job. Well, he had done a fine job of it. By the time the teacher had arrived to rescue the girl, Angela had been reduced to a cowering, sobbing object of pity. The teacher had demanded that Adam apologize. For the only time in his school life, Adam had defied the teacher’s authority and refused an order. Looking back, he knew that his defiance had shocked the teacher into uncertainty. She had ordered him to stand in the corner until he was willing to apologize. His punishment would depend on the length of time it took him to come to his senses and comply. He had stood for over an hour contemplating the possible outcomes of his actions and stubbornly resolving to himself never to apologize. He wondered how things would have ended if his pa had not come to the schoolhouse that day. 

Pa had come by school to leave word for Adam and Hoss to meet him at the mercantile after classes. When he had entered the room and seen his eldest son standing in the corner, his astonished Adam Cartwright! had jerked his son to attention and brought every eye in the room to Ben’s face.  

Adam had listened to the teacher’s footsteps as she walked over to his father. He could hear the murmur of low voices but could not make out the words. He did not really need to hear the conversation to know its content or dread its result. 

The teacher had called him from the corner. As soon as he was in reach, his father had grabbed his arm and marched him out of the schoolhouse. 

“You teased a little girl into tears!” Every line of Ben’s face had radiated anger. 

“I suppose you could say that.” Ben’s eyes had flamed at his son’s insolence. 

“You refused when the teacher told you to apologize.” 

“Yes, sir.” Adam had decided it was time to try some kind of explanation. “Pa, she’s the most mean-spirited, sharp-tongued wasp in school, and she needed a lesson.” 

“And WHO decided you should be her teacher!” Ben had managed to control the volume of his voice, but its vehemence had rocked Adam back on his heels. 

Adam had dropped his head and muttered, “I did.” 

“Look at me, Adam Stoddard Cartwright!” Adam had forced his eyes to his father’s face and watched Ben fight for control. 

“You will go in there and apologize.” Before Adam could refuse, his father had continued. “You can go now, or you can go with tears on your face after every child in that room has heard me give you the tanning of your life. It’s your choice.” 

Adam had known that he had only moments to make that decision. He had turned and started toward the door ruing his own sharp tongue. Then it had come to him. Everyone said he had a way with words. Well, he would have his way with them once more today. He had raised his head and strode into the school. 

Every word of his apology was carefully chosen. Not a single word could be faulted though many of them were two-edged. When he finished, Adam wondered just how many of the students understood exactly how absent of apology his speech had been. Their faces showed that some of the older ones did. Some of the younger ones, like Hoss, seemed to sense it. Angela herself was too dense to realize she had not won the battle. Adam’s eyes then moved to his teacher. She knew, of course. He did not have to look at his father to know that Pa knew precisely what he had done. He held his breath and walked over to stand before his father. Pa’s tone had been as ridged as his stance. 

“When you are dismissed, send Hoss to me at the mercantile. You will go directly home and wait in the barn for me.” Ben Cartwright had then turned on his heel and departed. 

“I was afraid Pa was going to kill you.” Hoss’s comment brought Adam out of his contemplation of the past. “On the way home in the wagon, I tried to tell him Angela deserved what ya did.” 

“Well, thanks for your effort, little brother, but Pa didn’t see it that way.”  Adam’s tone was rueful. 

“But he did, Adam. I think the teacher told him what she was like too. He said that wasn’t the reason he was gonna set your tail on fire. It was mostly that apology of yours.” 

“Pa never could abide disrespect or defiance however veiled.”  Adam shrugged. 

“So, you’re going to give this Consuela a proper apology?”  Hoss smiled. 

“Very proper.” 

“Try flowers then.” 

“What?” 

“When ya go to apologize, take her some flowers. It always helped with Ma.  Oh, and flash them dimples of yours real deep.” 

Hoss departed quickly enough to miss being hit by Adam’s hat. 

 

********** 

Hoss was awake but in no hurry to leave his bed when he heard his door open. 

“Hoss.” Hoss opened one eye to see Adam already dressed in his Sunday suit. 

“What, big brother?” 

Adam walked over and looked down at Hoss. “I’m going into town early. You can drive Marie and Joe to Mass.” 

Hoss grunted his acquiescence. 

Adam cleared his throat.  “Are you going to attend Mass with them?” 

Hoss sat up shaking his head. “Not this morning.” 

“Then I’ll meet you in church.” Adam turned. 

Hoss knew the Adam had yet to make a trip into town to apologize to Consuela. “Don’t forget the flowers.”  

Adam snorted and walked out the door. 

There were not as many choices as there would have been in spring or summer, but the bouquet of fall flowers he had gathered was impressive with its royal gold and purple. Adam had decided a café was not where he wanted to make an apology, and he really had not had time to come into town any sooner. He did not know where Consuela Soledad lived, so he had decided to catch her on the way into mass. He had a feeling that she would be an early arrival and stationed himself where he could spot any approaching parishioners.  

His feeling had been right. She came walking toward him well before the church bell began to ring. 

“Miss Soledad.” Adam stepped out from the shade of the tree against which he had leaned and tipped his hat. 

Consuela stopped. She had been startled both by his sudden appearance and his salutation, for few people ever addressed her more formally than just Consuela. 

Seeing her reaction, Adam quickly continued. “I’m Adam Cartwright. We met at the café. You spoke with my stepmother.” 

“Yes, I remember.” Her tone told him that she remembered all too well. 

“Well, I…” Adam paused, swallowed, straightened, and then spoke humbly. “My behavior that day was abominable, and I hope you will accept my most sincere apology for that rudeness.” The apology delivered he followed his brother’s advice and flashed a smile that deepened his dimples and presented the bouquet in his hand. “A token of my repentance.” 

Consuela was shocked into speechlessness. Dozens of customers a day were rude or gruff to her, and she had long ago accepted rough treatment as her due. That such a fine gentleman could be saying words such as those to her was beyond her comprehension. 

When she did not take the flowers, Adam cocked his head slightly and spoke gently. “Won’t you forgive me, please, ma’am?” 

Consuela jerked back to life. Taking the flowers from his hand, she replied hastily. “Of course, there was no need, of course I forgive you.” 

“Thank you, Miss Soledad.” Consuela watched his dimples deepen and his eyes sparkle. She felt the blood rising in her cheeks and buried her face in the flowers she held. 

“They’re beautiful.”  

“Consider the lilies of the field, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these.” She recognized Adam’s quote. “Though they’re not lilies, you could say the same for those.” 

Consuela lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “There was really no need for you to apologize. You didn’t…” 

“But I did. I was angry with another, and I took it out on you. That was wrong.” 

“You were angry with your mother?” She spoke without thinking. 

“Yes.” He laughed softly. “I don’t suppose that was too difficult to figure out.” 

She blushed again. Flustered, words spilled from her lips. “Oh, that’s none of my business. I’m sorry, sir.” 

“Adam, just call me Adam.” 

“Oh, I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be proper.” 

“Well, if you insist on the proprieties, Mr. Cartwright then, but most definitely not sir.” 

The sound of others approaching caught their attention. 

“We better go into mass.” Consuela turned toward the church and then blushed when she realized it sounded as if she expected them to attend service together. 

“Actually, well, I’m not a Catholic.” 

“You’re not? But your mother…” 

“Marie is my stepmother. She and my little brother Joe are both Catholics and members of St. Mary’s. My father was a Protestant as are I and my brother Hoss.” 

“Oh.” 

“The fact is I promised to meet him there, and I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.” 

“Of course. Uh, Mr. Cartwright, thank you for the flowers. I appreciate, uh, everything.” Then for the first time Consuela smiled. 

Adam breathed in sharply. Then as she started to walk past him, he spoke again. “Miss Soledad, my family always breakfasts at the International House after Mass. Could I prevail upon you to join us?” 

Consuela wanted more than anything to say yes, but instead she murmured regretfully. “Really, I couldn’t.” 

“With Marie and my brothers there, it would be entirely proper, Miss Soledad.”  Adam urged mistaking the reason for her concern. 

“Oh, I, it’s just that, well, the International House, I’m not dressed for such a fine place. I delivered a note there once, and, well, it’s much too fine a place for me.” 

“On the contrary, Miss Soledad, the International House would be graced by your presence.” 

Before Consuela could answer, a shout pierced the air. “Adam! Hey, Adam!” It was followed by the appearance of the youngest Cartwright. 

“Joseph! Your manners.” Adam’s admonishment stilled Little Joe who turned to face the woman standing at Adam’s side. 

“Excuse me, ma’am.” 

“Miss Soledad, this is my brother Joseph. Little Joe, this is Miss Soledad. I was just asking her to join us for breakfast.” 

Little Joe flashed a smile at Consuela and then grinned at his brother. “Great.” The bells of St. Mary’s began ringing. “Ma will have fits if I’m late. See ya at breakfast, ma’am.” Joe darted off toward the church. 

“Now, you wouldn’t disappoint a little boy, would you?” Adam grinned impishly. 

Consuela gave in. “No, no, I wouldn’t, Mr. Cartwright. Thank you for the invitation.” 

“Little Joe will tell Marie, so I’m sure she’ll expect you to walk over with them.” Adam tipped his hat. “I’ll see you after service, then.” He turned and walked down the street whistling. He owed Joe one. He would have to remember that the next time the boy stepped out of line. 

 

********** 

Little Joe came over and leaned against his brother’s broad back propping his elbows on Hoss’s right shoulder and placing his chin in his palms. “Adam sure seemed to like that Miss Consuela, didn’t he?” 

Hoss continued conditioning a saddle. “Seemed to.” 

“Did ya? Like her I mean.” 

Hoss reached behind him and grabbed Little Joe by the waist and then pulled the boy in front of him. “Didn’t you like her?” 

“Sure, I mean there weren’t nothing much not to like. She’s kinda quiet.” 

Hoss frowned. “Just ’cause somebody doesn’t run off at the mouth all the time.” 

Little Joe thrust out his bottom lip. “I don’t run off at the mouth!” 

“Don’t remember mentioning no names, but if ya recognized yourself, well?” 

Little Joe came at Hoss placing a hand on each of his brother’s shoulders and shoving with all his might. Hoss tipped back momentarily, righted himself, grabbed Joe by the waist, and lifted the boy off his feet. Little Joe squirmed and sputtered. 

“Better think twice and get still, Short Shanks, ‘fore I have to give ya a lesson in manners.” 

“You wouldn’t dare. ” Little Joe was in a rage. 

“Oh, but I would.” Adam’s voice filled the tack room. Little Joe went still immediately, and Hoss set him on his feet. 

“What’s the problem?” Adam fixed a stern glare on both of his brothers. 

“Nuthin’, Adam. We was just fooling around.” Hoss was quick to reply. 

Adam studied Hoss’s face and Little Joe’s nervous smile and then decided to let whatever had happened pass. “I’m headed into town for the mail. Some letters from those buyers in Sacramento should be in. Hoss, is there anything I need to pick up while I’m there?” 

“Charlie and me got pretty much everything day before yesterday. Ma was saying last night that she needed…” 

“I’ve got Marie’s list.” 

“Adam?” Little Joe bit his lip. “Can I ride to town with ya? Please?” 

Adam looked down at his little brother and considered his request. “I’m not in the mood for foolishness or whining, especially not whining.” 

“I won’t. I’ll be good. Please?” 

“You’ll stay with me and no complaining if you get bored?” 

Little Joe nodded his head and held his breath.  

“Get both our horses saddled.”  Little Joe dashed off before his brother could change his mind. 

Adam looked down at Hoss. “Does he deserve a scolding?” 

Hoss shook his head. “Naw.” Then he ventured some advice. “Adam, don’t be too strict with him in town.” 

Adam raised his right eyebrow. “Too strict?” 

“Sometimes ya keep a pretty tight reign, big brother.” 

“Seems to have turned out fine with you.”  

Hoss grinned. “Does that mean you’re gonna be letting go of them reigns with me?” 

Adam rubbed his chin and looked down his nose. “No.” 

“No?” 

“No, not one day before you turn twenty-one.”  

“Didn’t think so.” Hoss went back to work, and Adam walked out grinning. 

Adam had learned long ago to listen to Joe’s chatter and ponder other subjects at the same time. He put the skill to good use as the two of them rode into town. Their first stop was the mercantile. Little Joe wandered about as Adam picked up the mail and placed an order for the things that Marie had requested. Since it included only a few notions for her sewing and some spices, there would be no problem in carrying everything home in his saddlebags. 

Little Joe sidled up to Adam. “Adam, can I have…” 

“Five cents worth, and that’s all.” Adam tone was only mildly stern. “Miss Claire, would you give my brother a nickel’s worth of whatever candy he wants and add it to the account.” 

Little Joe ventured a request. “What about Hoss?” 

“And fix up a nickel’s worth of mixed candy to put in with the rest of the order.” 

Claire Hopkins smiled at Adam. “Be glad to, Adam. Don’t worry; I know all of Hoss’s favorites.” 

Little Joe walked out of the mercantile beside Adam with a black licorice whip connecting his left hand to the corner of his mouth. Mumbling slightly, he offered the bag.  “Want something?” 

Adam looked sideways at his brother. “Got a lemon drop in there?” 

“Sure.” Little Joe thrust the paper cone nearer his brother. Adam extracted the sweet and popped it into his mouth. Adam placed their purchases and most of the mail in his saddlebags but put two letters in his pocket. Their next stop was the bank. It was far less interesting than the mercantile, but Joe managed to amuse himself by imagining an attempted bank robbery. He, of course, managed to save the day. Then Adam said he needed to go by the lawyer’s office. Little Joe was less than pleased but remembered Adam’s warning about whining or complaining and kept his thoughts to himself. On the way to Hiram Woods office, no less than three men stopped Adam to have a word. All the words related to business and held no interest for Little Joe as none of the discussions were about the horse raising end of their business. Joe had great difficulty standing politely next to his brother who was blocking his view of the anything interesting that might be happening on the street. When they got to the lawyer’s office, Little Joe sighed; he was not looking forward to sitting around while Adam talked to Mr. Woods. 

“Hey, Joe!” Little Joe turned to see Mitch Devlin waving and calling for him. Joe felt Adam’s hand on his shoulder and motioned for Mitch to join them. 

“Joe, my pa said I could go over to Benson’s and look at the pups his hunting dog just had. We might just be getting us one when they’re weaned. I want to pick out the best one and get dibs on it. Come on with me?” 

Little Joe nearly jumped with glee, and then he remembered what Adam had said about staying with him. The old man rarely changed his mind, but Little Joe risked asking. “Do you think maybe I could, Adam?” Joe kept his tone real polite, so Adam would not think he was whining. 

Adam started to shake his head but heard an internal echo of Hoss’s voice. Benson’s was only one street over and a block south. “Your pa is going to meet you there?” He addressed Mitch. 

“Yeah, in about half an hour. Let Joe come. Won’t ya, Adam?” Mitch’s voice had a whiny sound, and he had not said please. Little Joe held his breath. 

Adam remembered Hoss’s request and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I may be with Hiram for longer than that.” 

“That would be okay, Adam. Mr. Benson wouldn’t run me off or nothing.” 

Adam put his hand on Little Joe’s shoulder and turned the boy toward him. He took Joe’s chin in his hand and spoke sternly. “The two of you go straight there, and by the shortest route, mind you. Tell Mr. Benson I’ll be along to fetch you. Nowhere else, Joseph, or you know what the consequences will be.” 

Little Joe nodded. “I know, Adam, and I aim to avoid them.” 

Adam decided to give the boy the benefit of any doubt his statement raised. “Get then!” Little Joe and Mitch took off. Adam watched until they were out of sight before going inside. 

 

********** 

The crowd that could be expected for lunch had not yet begun to arrive. Consuela had everything prepared and in order in the dining room. Mrs. Cantrell had told her to take a breather before the rush began. Consuela stepped onto the sidewalk and gazed about the street. She pushed the hair back from her face and let the breeze cool her skin. Once more her eyes scanned the street her heart beating a little more rapidly. It was not that she expected to see him. She did not really expect to see him again as anything other than a customer or perhaps she might see him escorting his mother to church. He had said that he sometimes attended with her and Little Joe. Consuela shook her head in a vain attempt to shake away his image. He was a gentleman. A fine gentleman who had simply been kind in an attempt to apologize for conduct he felt was wanting in manners. He no doubt had forgotten her already. Consuela sighed. Breakfast had been so nice. Mrs. Cartwright was a fine lady. The brother Hoss was a sweet boy, and Little Joe, well, what was that expression? Yes, he was as cute as the dickens. They had treated her so kindly showing her a respect she had never known before. Of course, they did not know the truth about her. Well, she had been right to come to a new place where no one knew. 

A commotion in the street suddenly drew Consuela’s attention. Not that angry confrontations were unusual in this part of town, but this one involved a boy. Consuela focused on the scene playing out a few hundred yards down the street. A large angry man and an equally angry boy were shouting at each other. Perhaps, Consuela would have turned away if she had not just been thinking of the Cartwrights. As it was, she took a few steps closer and made certain she recognized the boy. Her steps quickened. When the man grabbed the boy, she broke into a dead run. 

Adam Cartwright walked out of Benson’s shop shaking his head. He had told the boy to stay put and arrived to find him gone. Only about five minutes Mr. Benson had told him. Why could his brother not have waited just five more minutes? Adam scanned the street. Where would the boy have gone? Then he saw a teenage boy jogging toward him.  

The woman sweeping the sidewalk in front of the next shop called to the boy. He called back that there was a boy and a man in a fight, and he was going for Sheriff Coffee. Adam shouted. “Where?” Upon receiving the lad’s answer, he took off running. 

Little Joe Cartwright felt his feet leave the ground. He had watched a terrier angrily shaking a pup one time. Now he knew what the pup had felt like. Then he heard his name called, and felt his body meet the hard-packed dirt. Shaken he sprawled in the street trying to focus on what was happening above him. A woman was holding onto the man’s arm and shouting words he did not recognize. The man shook her off and then brought his hand back across her face with enough force to knock her to her knees. Joe had just recognized the woman as that girl Consuela when he saw a dark figure come up behind her. Then all of Little Joe’s attention was jerked back to the angry man in the red shirt who jerked Joe off the ground and held him in one hand so close that Joe could smell the whiskey on the man’s breath. 

“Mister, set him down!” The words were not shouted by stated in a clear and commanding voice that drew the attention of everyone present. The man holding Little Joe turned to see a dark-haired man in black holding a gun on him. The Spanish girl was standing slightly behind the man. 

“Mind your own business, fellow.” The burly man retained his hold on Little Joe. 

Adam’s voice remained clear and steady. “It is my business. That’s my brother you have your hands on.” 

A voice called out from the crowd. “Better do it, Jasper. That there’s Adam Cartwright!” 

Jasper O’Dell investigated the face of the man before him and released his hold on Joe. Little Joe stumbled as his feet met the ground, and then he scrambled toward his brother. Adam caught the boy and placed Joe behind him. Consuela hugged the boy to her exclaiming in Spanish. As she realized Joe was not injured, she let him turn to watch. She stood behind Little Joe holding him to her by crossing her arms down over his chest like a shield. 

Adam took a step closer to Jasper. “We don’t allow men to molest women and children in this town.” Everyone listening recognized the cold fury in Adam’s voice. 

“She ain’t nothing but some stinking senorita, and that pup came at me.” Jasper O’Dell spat back. 

Adam took another step forward. “You will apologize to the lady.” In the silence following his words, Jasper heard Adam cock his gun. 

“Adam, what’s going on here?” Adam recognized the voice of Sheriff Roy Coffee. 

“This man assaulted Miss Soledad. She will be pressing charges.” 

Consuela’s voice called out faintly. “No, I, no, I don’t want any more trouble.” 

Roy Coffee had his gun drawn and aimed at Jasper O’Dell. “I’ll be seeing to things from here, Adam.” The sheriff waited for Adam to holster his gun. Roy had seen the blood on the girl’s face. “You have a right to press charges, Miss. There won’t be any more trouble with him in jail.” 

Consuela shook her head. “No, please!” 

“Miss Soledad, would you prefer the Sheriff escort this scum out of town and ban him for a time?” Adam kept his eyes on Jasper. 

“Yes, that would be best, yes.” Consuela prayed fervently for it all to be over. 

“Roy?”  

“That can be arranged unless you want to press charges on Little Joe’s behalf.” 

Joe had been standing quietly quite willing to let Consuela’s arms remain around him. His ma had held him that way before, and it made him feel protected. Now he spoke in a soft voice. “I’m not really hurt, Adam.” 

“Fine. Joe, go with Consuela to the café. I’ll join you in a minute.” Adam waited for Consuela and Little Joe to leave, and Roy to place handcuffs on Jasper. Then he walked to within inches of the man. His voice was cold and flat and carried to the ears of those still watching. “If you do anything to Miss Soledad, you will answer to me.” Adam felt no need to inform the man that he would kill him if he ever touched Little Joe again, for that should be obvious to anyone with even half a brain. “In fact, if she has the slightest bit of trouble from anyone who knows you, or anyone unknown for that matter, I shall hold you responsible. Have I made myself clear?” Jasper nodded, and Roy led him away. By nightfall hundreds of people in Virginia City would know that the Spanish girl at Cantrell’s was under the protection of none other than Adam Cartwright. 

Little Joe studied the dirt on his pants. He lifted head as he heard the door of the café open. Seeing his brother walk through the door, he jumped to his feet. In five strides his brother was in front of him running both his eyes and hands over Joe’s body. 

“Are you sure you’re all right, Little Buddy?” 

“I’m okay, Adam.” Little Joe answered quickly. For now, anyway. 

“He won’t bother you again, Joe.” Adam finally stilled his hands accepting the fact that the child had not been injured. 

“I ain’t worried about him.” Little Joe dropped his eyes. “Miss Consuela is in the back with the owner lady. 

Adam turned and walked to the door to the kitchen area. Little Joe followed glad his brother had been distracted from the discussion Joe knew the two of them would eventually have. 

Mrs. Cantrell was holding a cool, damp cloth to Consuela’s face. 

“Does she need a doctor? I’ll…” 

“No, a split lip and a bruise is all.” Mrs. Cantrell moved the cloth aside for Adam to assess the injury himself. 

“I don’t need a doctor, no. Little Joe, you are all right?” Consuela had spotted the boy standing behind Adam. 

“I’m fine, Miss Consuela. I’m sorry ya got hurt. You were real brave.” 

Consuela looked into Adam’s face. “That man, that brute, I was afraid he would hurt Little Joe. The sheriff will see that he is gone?” 

“He won’t be causing Joe or you any more problems, Consuela. Rest assured of that.” Adam’s tone washed away any trace of doubt in Consuelo’s mind. “Consuela, can you shoot a pistol?” 

“No, I’ve never, a pistol, no.” 

“You will learn. I’ll teach you.” It was a statement not an invitation. 

“I couldn’t. A pistol like that.” Consuela focused her eyes on the pistol once again holstered on Adam’s hip. 

“Not a colt, no.”  

“A gun like Ma’s?”  Little Joe’s excited interjection surprised Consuela. 

“Your mother carries a gun?” Consuela was shocked. 

“Marie carries a derringer. Not much distance, but quite effective at close quarters.” Adam nodded. “Yes, a derringer will be just the thing.” 

“Adam, I, I haven’t the, the money for such a thing.” 

Adam made a dismissive gesture. “I’ll see to the buying of the gun.” 

“I couldn’t let you.” Consuela’s voice was soft, and she shook her head gently. 

“You can’t stop me, girl.” 

Little Joe stepped closer to Consuela. “If brother Adam has set his mind to it, it’s best to just go along with him, Miss Consuela.” 

Consuela bit her lip, and Adam took her silence as acquiescence. “All right, you will join us for breakfast Sunday. Then we’ll go back to the ranch and have a lesson.” Adam looked down at Consuela and saw her nod slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Tonight…”  He tugged his ear.  He did not want her walking the streets alone. 

Guessing his concern, Mrs. Cantrell spoke up. “My mister will see her home, Mr. Cartwright. It isn’t but a few blocks to the boarding house. She’ll be fine.” 

Adam nodded. “Fine then. If you will excuse us, ladies, my brother and I had best get back to the ranch. Come along, Joseph.” 

 

********** 

Little Joe did not chatter on the ride home. Both he and Adam rode silently lost in contemplation. When they arrived in the yard, there was no one about. Hoss had gone to join the men working at the corrals. Marie was spending the day visiting a friend. They dismounted outside the barn. Little Joe quickly took Sport’s reigns. “I’ll see to the horses.” He disappeared into the barn. Adam stood thinking for some minutes and then followed Joe.  

Little Joe had taken the saddles from both horses but now stood with his head buried in Cochise’s mane. Adam walked up behind his brother and placed his hands on Joe’s shoulders. He turned the boy to face him and saw the tears roll down Little Joe’s cheeks. 

Little Joe gulped and shuddered. Then he buried his face in Adam’s chest. Adam brought his arms up around the child and rubbed his back. Joe’s words came out jerkily between sobs and were muffled by Adam’s shirt. 

“I’m sorry… my fault… didn’t mean to… ya won’t let me come… ya trusted me and now you won’t!”  

Adam remained silent stroking Little Joe’s back gently until the boy stopped sobbing. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, raised Joe’s face, and wiped it. Little Joe looked up and saw that the old man had remained outside of the barn and just his big brother had come in. Adam sat Little Joe on an old stool and leaned against the wall.  

“Tell me what happened, Joe.” 

“I just went outside to wait ’cause it had gotten real stuffy inside. I was waiting for ya just like ya said and thinking about the pup Mitch and me had picked out. His pa had made a deal for it with Mr. Benson. That’s all I was doing, Adam.” 

“And then.” Adam’s voice was still calm. 

“That man came by leading a string of mustangs. Some of them were real beauties. There was this big black with white stockings. I just wanted to get a better look at him.” Little Joe dropped his chin to his chest. 

“You followed them.” How many times had his baby brother followed a horse into trouble? 

“I didn’t really think about it. I just kinda found myself doing it.” Little Joe sighed. Then the man started having trouble with the horse, and he start to whip him. The horse I mean. And I, I…” Joe paused. He knew Adam thought the man was scum, but he was an adult, and Little Joe had been taught not to be disrespectful to adults. 

“And you told him what you thought of that.” Adam knew what Joe’s reaction would have been and how he spoke when he was in a temper. 

“He didn’t care much for my opinion. We kinda had a shouting match.” 

“Not wise, Joseph.” Little Joe looked up quickly at the sound of his given name but saw that it was brother Adam not the old man who admonished him. 

“Guess not ’cause he grabbed me up and was shaking me hard. Then he dropped me. I guess that was ’cause Miss Consuela ran up shouting and grabbed his arm. I don’t know what she was shouting.” 

“She was speaking Spanish.” Adam had been able to hear the shouts before he had seen what was happening. The corners of his mouth twisted up. He could hardly believe Consuela had managed to shout with such volume and fury. 

“Like Ma uses her French when she’s mad or upset?” Little Joe had seen the softening in Adam’s eyes, and the knot in his chest eased just a bit. 

“Just like. Go on.” Even though Adam had seen the rest of the altercation, he wanted to hear Joe’s version. 

“Well, ya know he hit her, and then he picked me up, and then you came, and, well, ya know the rest.” 

“The question, Joseph, is do you know what could have happened?” 

Little Joe swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat. Tears once again burned his eyes. “He could have hurt me or Miss Consuela really bad, or you could have gotten hurt, or you could have hurt him bad and got arrested, or somebody else could have got hurt. All kinds of bad things.” Little Joe had imagined every awful possibility on his ride home. “I’m sorry. Miss Consuela got hurt ’cause of me.” 

“If you had remained where you’d been told to stay, it’s unlikely Consuela would have been hurt, but everything is not your fault. That man is responsible for each and everything he did.” Adam’s jaw tightened at the thought of Jasper O’Dell. 

“I told Miss Consuela I was sorry and thanked her for helping me.” Little Joe relaxed a little when Adam nodded his approval. 

“Men like that are the reason Ma and I don’t allow you to wander about town alone, Joe.” Adam’s voice had taken on a more parental tone. 

“I know.” Little Joe’s voice was soft and respectful. 

“And I know you see lots of boys your age doing things you are not allowed to do.” Adam reached out and took Joe’s chin in his hand. “Whether the reasons they are allowed to do those things are good ones or bad is no matter. The reasons you are not allowed are good ones based on our love and concern for you. Do you understand that?” 

Little Joe nodded solemnly. “I understand.” Then he looked up at Adam through his lashes. “You’ll probably never take me with ya to town again.” 

“Never is a long time for me to give up my little brother’s company.” 

Little Joe knew then he had been forgiven, but he had learned long ago that forgiveness did not equal a lack of consequences. He took a deep breath. “I know the end of this talk is gonna be directed at my backside, but are ya gonna tan me?” He asked softly and then held his breath waiting for the answer. 

“You told me the whole truth?” 

Little Joe nodded. 

“I’m not going to tan you.”  

Joe started breathing again. A spanking from Adam was bad enough, but at least he had been spared a real tanning from the old man. 

Adam straightened and motioned Little Joe to his feet. Joe shut his eyes and tensed his muscles. After a minute, he opened them again. Instead of hearing the usual question: You understand why you are being punished?  Little Joe was surprised to hear Adam say, “Read this.” He took the piece of paper Adam held out to him. 

He read: Owed to Joseph Cartwright one sound spanking. To be delivered as needed. Debt becomes null and void after one month.” 

“What does null and void mean?”  

“It means that if you go one month without giving me reason to pay off that debt, I won’t owe it to you anymore.” 

“You’re not going to… to do it today?” Little Joe was incredulous.  

“I’m not, but you keep that in your pocket to remind you that I will if you make the same mistake again and in spades.” Adam’s tone was stern. 

“You’re gonna tell Ma though, aren’t ya?” 

“If I didn’t, she’d still hear it from half a dozen town gossips.” He saw the worry come back into his brother’s eyes. “You disobeyed me, Joe. Ma won’t interfere in how the old man handles it.” 

Little Joe gasped and then smiled. “I love you, brother.” 

“Same for me. I always have.” Adam smiled back. 

 

********** 

Adam rode beside the buggy listening to the sound not the conversation. Consuela and Marie rode in the back seat their voices fluttering like butterflies in the meadow. Little Joe was beside Hoss who was driving. Their two voices were point and counterpoint. Adam smiled. The autumn air was fresh, the sun warm, and the breeze cool. Sometimes it was enough to simply be happy. 

Hoss stopped the buggy in front of the ranch house. Adam dismounted and went to assist Consuela while Hoss swung Marie to the ground. 

“Going to change.” Little Joe dashed to the door. Before he could open it, he heard his mother’s voice. 

“Joseph!” 

“Ma’am?” 

“We have a guest, Joseph.” Marie’s voice and eyes chided. 

Little Joe looked sheepish and then piqued. “Oh, yeah.”  

Consuela looked questioningly at Adam.  

“Joe knows manners dictate he stay properly dressed. Sometimes he just needs reminding.” Adam informed her with a side glance at his brother. 

“Mrs. Cartwright.” Consuela ventured an observation. “I would not deem it an insult if Little Joe changed. Then he would not have to worry about his fine suit.” 

Adam looked at his brother and then his stepmother. “It might be more practical, especially as he has volunteered to see to the horses and rig. Correct, Joe?” 

Little Joe nodded and waited for his mother’s answer. 

 Marie conceded and gave her approval. “A decent shirt and pants, Joseph.” Little Joe darted into the house and up the stairs.  

“Let me show you the house.” Marie motioned to Consuela and ushered her inside. 

Consuela had never actually been in a house that size before. Walking next to Marie, she knew that any man who had grown up in such a house was beyond her reach. She must always keep that in her mind, but still to even visit such a world was more than she had ever hoped to have. 

By the time Little Joe rejoined them, Adam had retrieved the derringer he had purchased two days before. Having shed his coat and strapped on his holster, Adam was ready to take Consuela for her lesson. 

“Can I come and watch?” Little Joe asked his brother. 

Adam paused and then read correctly the look Marie sent him. Joe’s presence would maintain the proprieties. “Sure, Little Buddy. What about you, Hoss?” 

“Guess I will.” Hoss shed his coat and went to put on his pistol. 

“Your mother? ”  

“A few quiet hours alone on a Sunday afternoon will be appreciated, child.”  Marie assured her with a smile. 

Consuela realized quickly that as a teacher Adam Cartwright was a stern taskmaster. He made her follow instructions exactly and repeated rules over and over. Still, she found herself enjoying the afternoon. The brothers’ banter made her smile, and she found herself relaxing. Little Joe’s enthusiasm was contagious, and when she finally hit a target, she whooped with glee. Little Joe and Hoss cheered. Adam smiled down at her with evident satisfaction. Then Hoss and Adam gave in to Little Joe’s pleas and indulged in some showy target practice. When they returned to the house, it was filled with the smells of Hop Sing’s cooking. 

Hoss drew in an audible sniff. “Roast chicken, candied yams, buttered carrots, rolls, and um, chocolate cake.”  

“The chicken I can smell but the rest.” Consuela raised her right eyebrow. 

“Hoss could have told ya the rest by the time we was halfway to the house.” Little Joe gave Hoss a shove.  Hoss did not move. 

“Really?” Consuela shook her head. 

“Actually, that’s not much of an exaggeration.” Adam was quick to assure her. At that point, Hop Sing announced supper was ready, and Adam took Consuela’s arm in his and led her to the table. 

The food was delicious, the conversation interesting, and Little Joe was admonished only once for his table manners. Marie finished her chocolate cake and sipped her coffee. She seldom saw her eldest this relaxed, and the sight filled her with satisfaction. Consuela was a sweet girl, and Adam’s interest in her was evident. Even if she did not become his great love, Consuela added something to Adam’s life that had been sorely missing. For now, Marie was content with that. 

“Thank you so much for having me here. ” Consuela thanked Marie as she picked up her shawl. 

“We would welcome you anytime.” Marie smiled. “And it is I who must thank you for coming to Joseph’s aid.” 

“No, I did nothing for your gratitude.” Consuela dropped her eyes. 

“Oh, but you did.” Adam’s voice was firm. “And we are in your debt.” 

“You were really brave, Consuela.” 

Marie’s eyes flared. “Joseph Francis, since when do you speak without the respect.” 

Little Joe took a step to place himself out of his mother’s reach. “Sorry, Miss Consuela.” Joe mumbled and then realized he was within reach of Adam’s long right arm. 

Consuela looked from Little Joe to Marie. She did not want the boy to be in trouble for she did not mind his use of her name, but she did not want to undermine Marie’s discipline. Adam spared her an answer by taking her arm and announcing their departure. “It’s time I was driving Miss Soledad back to town.” 

“I can come, can’t I?” Little Joe thought at this point Adam would be a better companion than his ma. 

Proprieties aside, Adam wanted some private time with Consuela. “I think not, Little Joe. It will be past your bedtime before I return.” 

Little Joe hated that he had a bedtime, and he hated even more when his family referred to his bedtime in front of anyone else. His temper flared, and his lip thrust out. “So! It’s not like I have school.” Little Joe had another week before that dreaded prison began again. 

“You have chores.” Adam’s voice had taken on an irritated edge. Marie saw Consuela shift in discomfort at the tension now in the air. 

Little Joe let his temper speak. “You just don’t want me. You’re being mean!” Joe’s voice had risen beyond an acceptable volume, and he punctuated his declaration with a small stomp of his foot. 

Consuela’s presence kept Adam’s temper in check, but Marie stepped in front of her youngest. 

“Apologize for your behavior, Joseph, and then go to your room.” Marie’s tone left no doubt that Joe had better obey. 

Little Joe recognized the anger in his mother’s face. “I apologize.”  As he turned away. Marie heard the lack of sincerity and saw the sulky look on Little Joe’s face.  

“Excuse me, my dear. It appears I have something to deal with upstairs.” Marie smiled at Consuela and then followed Little Joe. 

“Sorry about that.” Adam seated Consuela in the buggy. 

Consuela bit her lip and then laughed softly. “He has quite the temper, doesn’t he?” 

Adam grinned. “I have to warn you, all the Cartwright’s do.” 

Consuela’s eyes sparkled. “So, I’ve seen, except, of course, for Hoss.” 

“Long fuse but quite an explosion.” Adam’s observation was delivered wryly. 

He seated himself and started toward town. Adam could not have told you what exactly they discussed on the ride back to town, but he was sure he had told her more about himself than he had shared with others he had known for years. Then he realized that Consuela had said very little about herself. 

“You came here from California?” 

“Yes.” 

“Your family couldn’t dissuade you.” 

“My madre died six months ago.” He heard the grief in her voice. 

“I’m sorry. Your father?” 

“My mother raised me alone.” Her voice had dropped to barely a whisper. 

“The you came here for a new start?”  

“Yes, I wanted the fresh start.” 

Adam pulled the horse to a stop. He turned and looked into her face. Just enough light remained for her to see the gentleness in his eyes. “I hope it will be all you desired.” 

She smiled at him. “You and your family have helped to make it so.” 

“You’ll let me continue, then?”  

“Yes.” She dropped her eyes to her hands.  

Adam wanted to take her in his arms but knew she was not yet ready. He picked up the reigns and set the buggy in motion. “Even at the risk of the Cartwright temper?” His tone teased. 

She laughed softly. “I can deal with tempers.” 

Adam pictured her railing at Jasper O’Dell. “So, I’ve seen.” He chuckled. Then he grew serious. “I’m glad you were there for Little Joe, but you have to be more careful, Consuela.” 

“Joe is just a little boy. I could not let that brute hurt him.” 

“Instead, you go hurt.” 

“It was nothing.” Consuela’s voice was soft but firm. 

“If you have trouble with anyone, you will come to me.” His voice was stern enough to make it an order. 

“Yes.”  She agreed because she knew it was the truth. 

 

*********** 

 

Adam stepped into the house. Stopping to take off his hat and gun, he scanned the room. The only one there was Hoss. He was sitting in front of the fire watching the flames. He had a block of wood and one of his carving knives in his hands, but those hands were still. 

Adam walked over and took a seat in his favorite blue chair. “Is Marie upstairs?” 

Hoss turned his eyes from the fire to rest them on his brother. “Only came back down to say goodnight.” 

“So, you decided to wait up for me.” Adam made his words a statement not a question. 

Since it had not been a question, Hoss did not bother to answer. Instead, he moved on to other matters. “Ma’s done seen to Joe.” 

Adam knew why Hoss had told him. “I’m not angry with Joe. You needn’t have worried.” 

“Is that because of the good mood Miss Consuela puts you in?” Hoss watched his brother’s face. Adam was the only person he knew whose mouth could hold half a smile and half a frown at the same time. 

“Partly I suppose.” Adam was slow to admit it. 

“You’ve got a powerful liking for Miss Consuela, haven’t ya, Adam?” 

Adam pressed the fingertips of his hands together creating a vaulted ceiling. He could never directly lie to Hoss about anything of consequence. Oh, he could avoid answering until the questions stopped, but part of him wanted to answer this time. “Yes, I have a powerful liking for her.” He saw a flicker cross Hoss’s face that had nothing to do with the firelight. He jerked up and leaned closer to his brother. “Don’t you like her, Hoss?” 

“Sure, I like her. ” Hoss was quick to reply “She’s nice gal.” Still there was something in the tone of Hoss’s voice. 

“What is it then, Hoss?”  

Hoss ran his finger down the edge of the wooden block in his hand. “It’s, well, she’s not much like the gals you’ve courted before.” 

Adam leaned back in his chair. He had courted a few girls since his father’s death. Too few Marie would have said, and the last had been over a year before. Pleasant but short diversions was how he would describe those episodes, and it was true that Consuela was different from those others. 

Hoss set the carving knife on the low table in front of him, took a deep breath.  “She does put me in mind of someone, though.” 

“Who?” 

“Maria Regina.” 

Adam jerked forward again. “Maria Regina? Hoss, they’re nothing alike!” Maria Regina Randolf had been the only child of a rich, old man and his much younger second wife. She was a tiny porcelain doll of a girl with pale gold hair and pansy blue eyes. She had been sixteen when he fell in love with her. She had also been the cause of his last fight with his pa. Ben Cartwright had exploded when his seventeen-year-old son had said he intended to marry with or without his father’s blessing. It had been a long time since he had thought about Maria Regina. Adam sighed. For weeks after her father had taken her away, he had been able to think of nothing else. Then Pa had died. 

“Hoss, why would Consuela make you think of her?” Hoss started rubbing his thumb repeatedly up and down the edge of the wood in his hand. Adam watched his brother organizing his thoughts. Hoss had been only eleven, but they were still just brothers then. Adam had needed a confident, and his oversized little brother with the gentle eyes had asked his questions softly. Adam had told Hoss almost everything that happened between him and Maria Regina. Hoss was the only soul with whom Adam had ever shared those secrets. 

“I, I guess it’s a look she has sometimes. Maria Regina had it especially when her pa was around.” Hoss looked away from Adam and studied the flames once more. Maria Regina had disappointed her father the day she was born, and the man had never forgiven her. He had desired a son and heir, and he let the girl know he had not forgiven her, his wife, or God for failing him. Hoss could not have explained then what he saw haunting the girl whom Adam loved all those years ago, but now he had the words for it. Maria Regina’s father had made her feel unworthy, and that unworthiness had haunted the girl every day of her life. Hoss watched the flames, but he heard his father and brother’s angry voices. He had not wanted to eavesdrop, but he would have had to stuff his ears or run from the house not to hear. He had not been old enough or brave enough to go into that room and tell them what he knew. He had wanted to tell them what had turned out to be true: that there was no reason to fight because Maria Regina would never defy her father. 

Adam knew his brother read people with greater understanding than most scholars read books. He shook his head and seized an explanation. “Consuela’s mother died just six months ago. That’s why she came here for a new start. There was only the two of them. She’s still grieving.” Yes, it was Consuela’s grief that his brother had sensed. 

Hoss knew when enough had been said. “I ‘spect that must be it, Adam. Maria Regina was sorta grieving for her pa’s love.”  

Adam stood. “Morning’s going to come early, Hoss.” 

Hoss grinned up at his older brother. “Ya telling me to get to bed?” 

Adam smiled down at him. “Yep.” 

Hoss laughed and said “Yeseer, old man,” and darted up the stairs more quickly than most people would have thought he could. 

Adam quietly checked the downstairs making sure everything was secure and then followed Hoss. Looking down the hallway, he saw that the lights were out in Marie and Joe’s rooms. He started passed them to his own room but stopped at Little Joe’s door when he heard a movement inside. Sliding the door open softly, he shielded the lamp with his body and looked at his brother’s bed. It was empty. Allowing more light to enter the room, Adam quickly saw his little brother leaning against the window frame gazing out at the darkness. 

“Joe.” Adam entered the room and placed the lamp on the dresser.  

Little Joe kept his head down. “I didn’t mean to embarrass ya in front of Miss Consuela.” 

“Apology accepted.” Adam went to stand next to Little Joe.  

“Ma was real mad.” Joe’s hands twisted the cotton of his nightshirt. 

“Misbehaving in front of company does that to Ma. She burned your ears good, did she?” 

“That’s not all she burned.” Little Joe shifted his weight from one foot to another. 

“Oh.” Adam forced himself not to smile. Marie seldom used her hairbrush on a son’s behind, but when she did it was no laughing matter. Little Joe looked up at his brother, and Adam reassured him. “You’re not in trouble with me, Joe. Is that why you can’t sleep?” 

“I guess.”  

“Do you want a cold compress?” Adam’s tone was teasing. 

“Adam! No!” Little Joe was indignant.  

Adam could not control himself and let out a short laugh.  

“It’s not funny, Adam.” 

“I know it’s not, Joe. I shouldn’t have laughed.” Adam’s tone soothed. He should not have teased the boy. That had been childish. Adam offered his own type of olive branch. “It wasn’t funny when it happened to me.” 

Little Joe looked at his eldest brother. He knew that Adam had still been a boy when Ma had first come to the ranch and that Adam had been subject to her discipline, but he had never really been able to picture Adam has anything but grown. 

“Will ya tell me?”  

“If you insist on a bedtime story, get in bed.” Adam turned Joe by the shoulders and walked him to his bed. Little Joe crawled under the covers. Years ago, Adam had told him a story ever night after Joe was in bed. The rule had been that he had to listen with his eyes closed. Little Joe stretched out on his stomach and followed the rule. 

“I was about your age, and Pa and Marie had only been married a few months. Pa was in town on business, and Ma was having some town ladies to the house for lunch. Hoss and I had to bathe, put on our Sunday clothes, and stay in the yard. I had had other plans that didn’t include watching my little brother and listening to him grumble and whine all day.” 

“You was in one of your bad moods then.” Little Joe made the observation without opening his eyes. 

“One of my worst.  And I did everything I could to make that clear to Marie and her guests without giving Marie anything to really tell Pa about when he got back.” 

“Cause ya didn’t want Pa to have a reason to tan ya.” Little Joe had never been able to listen to a story without comment. 

“I never wanted Pa to have a reason to tan me, and I thought I had been really clever. You know sometimes it’s not what you say or do, but how you say and do it.” Little Joe nodded into his pillow. 

“Well, Marie had never actually punished me, and I figured she couldn’t. I had miscalculated. As soon as the ladies’ buggy left the front yard, Ma let out with a stream of Creole French. The only thing she said in English was my full name and for me to go to her bedroom. I thought about not going, but then I thought about the fact that Pa would be home by supper, so from that point on I did as I was told. I have pondered many times whether I should have just taken off and waited for Pa.” Adam looked down and watched his little brother relax into sleep. Then he took the lamp and went to bed. 

 

********** 

It became a routine over the next few weeks. Consuela would sit with the Cartwrights at mass and go with them for breakfast at the International House. She would then join them for an afternoon at the ranch. Her visits lost formality as she participated in family activities. Marie enjoyed the feminine companionship, and she and Consuela grew close. After Sunday supper the visits always ended with Adam alone driving Consuela back to town.  

They had become very comfortable with each other, and Adam had used a great deal of restraint. He had held her hand, touched her cheek, and fingered her curls, but he had not kissed her. Sometimes he wondered at the patience he had managed, but somehow, he knew that to rush would frighten her away, and he wanted her presence even more than he wanted her kiss. The right time would come, and he told himself it would be all the sweeter for the wait. 

Little Joe walked into the café and waited for Consuela to finish serving a group of miners. Then he followed her into the kitchen. He shed his jacket and gloves. “Adam said I could wait for him here, so I wouldn’t have to get bored at his meeting.” Actually, Adam had told him he would drop him at the café because if he had to listen to Joe shuffle and sigh one more time, he would throttle him and that would upset their ma, but Little Joe knew what he had meant. 

“He thinks this is safe?” Consuela was comfortable teasing the boy. 

“Sure.” Little Joe shrugged and then gave Mrs. Cantrell an appealing look. She handed him a sugar cookie. Consuela raised her eyebrow questioningly. “He said if I tried to leave he knew the two of you would hogtie me to a chair.” Adam had also said, “If you manage to leave that café, little boy, I’ll tan you whenever and wherever I find you,” but Little Joe saw no reason to mention that. 

“Is that all he said?” Consuela asked as she dished up bowls of stew.  

“Well, he did say that you could put me to work if you needed to keep me out of mischief.” Little Joe replied reluctantly, but Adam had told him to offer his services to Mrs. Cantrell, and he knew the old man would ask if he had. 

“You just stay where you are, young man.” Mrs. Cantrell laughed. “Consuela and I know what we’re about and don’t need you getting underfoot.” 

Little Joe smiled. “Yes, ma’am, and I guess I should warn ya. Hoss is coming back with Adam, and we’re eating lunch here.” Mrs. Cantrell and Consuela both laughed.  

Little Joe liked the kitchen of the café. It was warm, filled with bustle, and smelled good. Mrs. Cantrell chattered as she worked and did not mind if Joe joined in. Adam often dropped by the café when he was in town, and if either of his brothers were with him, he brought them along. Hoss thought Mrs. Cantrell ranked just behind Hop Sing as a cook and let the woman know of his admiration. Mrs. Cantrell knew that the patronage of the Cartwrights had been very good for business and looked upon the entire family as friends. It had concerned her when she realized in the days after the incident with Jasper O’Dell that quite a number of long time Virginia City residents had come to eat only to get a look at the girl Adam Cartwright was protecting, but she had decided it was of little consequence why they came at first because they returned solely to eat her cooking. She knew that some town gossips thought there was more to Adam and Consuela’s relationship, but then some people were always thinking the worst. Adam was a gentleman, and Consuela was a good girl. As long as the gossip stayed behind closed doors, what did it matter? 

“Little Joe?” Consuela had come over to stand beside the boy. “I do need your help for something.” 

“What?” 

“I wish to make something for Adam for Christmas, but I want it to be a surprise.” 

Little Joe’s eyes sparkled. “What do ya need me to do, Miss Consuela?” 

“I need to borrow one of his good vests to use for the size.” 

“You want me to sneak it to ya?” Little Joe grinned. 

“Could you, Little Joe?” 

“Of course, I can. I’ll tell ya what. I’ll bring it to school tomorrow and then bring it by the café after.”  

Consuela shook her head quickly. “No, no, no! You will not wander about the town alone.” 

“I wouldn’t be wandering around; I’d be coming here.” 

“Do not even think it, young man.” Consuela’s voice was stern. 

Little Joe thrust out his lower lip and whined. “Now you sound like my ma and Adam.” 

Consuela put her hands on her hips. “We shall forget the whole matter.” 

Little Joe jumped from his seat. “No, Consuela, I wanna help. I’ll do like you say.” 

Consuela pondered a moment.  “You will bring the vest to the school, and I shall meet you there after the classes are over. It will take only a short time. You can then take it home and return it. You think you can do this without being caught?” 

Little Joe puffed out his chest. “Don’t ya worry; it’ll be a piece of cake.” 

“Why, Adam, it’s good to see you.” Mrs. Cantrell sang out the announcement putting an end to the conspirators’ conversation. 

 

********* 

Adam had not seen Consuela in three weeks. Actually, no one on the Ponderosa had seen anyone not already on the ranch during that time, for the snows had been too heavy and too deep for anyone to travel. The remains of the snow had prevented them from using the buggy, but Hoss had declared that this day would stay clear, so the four Cartwrights had ridden to town to attend church. Adam had decided he could not wait until after services to see Consuela and nonchalantly informed Marie that he would attend mass with her and Joe. Hoss decided to join them. Now Adam was seated next to Consuela pretending to listen to Father Aloysius.  

Adam felt an elbow jab his side. He jumped and realized that the congregation had risen. He scowled down at Little Joe who was on his left. Joe grinned up at his brother. Adam had obviously not been paying attention in church, so he could claim the elbow was just a helpful reminder. Adam turned to once again face the altar. He decided he could not reprimand Little Joe without opening himself up to criticism, so he would have to let it pass. Adam told himself that he had best put his mind back where it belonged. Of course, that would be quite difficult with Consuela’s scent rising to his nose and the soft sound of her voice in his ears. 

“So nice to see you, Adam, and you, Hoss.”  Father Aloysius greeted both young men with a smile.  

“Nice to be here, Father. Fact is it’s nice to be out of the house and in town.” 

“Getting a touch of the cabin fever, were you, Hoss?” Father Aloysius chuckled. 

“Some of us had a touch of that fever, and some had a full-blown case.” Marie’s frustration was clear. The priest’s and Adam’s eyes went immediately to Little Joe, but Marie and Hoss shared a glance at Adam.  

Little Joe bristled and started to comment. “I ain’t the one who’s been grouchy as…”  His mother’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. “I sure am glad for the fine weather today, though.”  

“We should all give a prayer of thanks for that, Joseph.” Father Aloysius ruffled the boy’s hair and then started discussing a church matter with Marie. 

Adam’s attention had already drifted back inside, and he wandered into the sanctuary. He stood behind the last pew watching Consuela praying before the Virgin’s altar. Consuela always prayed privately at that altar after mass. Adam knew she often attend early morning mass during the week or came to the church after work to pray. She was a devout Catholic, and part of Adam’s restraint had been due to his respect for her religious convictions. As he watched her cross herself, he wondered if Father Aloysius was a priest who refused to marry a Catholic to a non-Catholic. He knew that Consuela would never marry outside of the church. 

Adam watched Consuela walk up the aisle and reached out to tuck her arm into his.  He whispered into her ear as they walked out into the morning sun. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” Her hand squeezed his arm gently. 

With a sudden movement that caught Consuela by surprise, Adam caught her around the waist and stirred her toward a secluded spot shield by trees and bushes. 

“Adam, what do you think you’re doing? Your family…” 

“My family is already headed to breakfast.” He would have to repay Hoss for that good deed. “I wanted to be with you for a minute.” 

“You’ve been sitting next to me for the past hour.”  

“We were in a church, girl, and I was taught to be a good boy in church.” Adam’s countenance lightened with a sudden grin. 

“And now that we are outside the church you intend to be bad?”  

“If I am, do you think the good Father will absolve me?” 

“Only after a proper penance.” 

“What would be the penance for kissing a girl on Sunday?” Adam’s voice had become a whisper. He placed his hands on her waist and drew her to him. Somehow, he did not think God would mind, and everyone else could go to blazes. He leaned toward her, kissed her gently, and then released her.  

Consuela blushed and stepped back. “Adam, we shouldn’t.”  

“We didn’t; I did, so I’m the only one who needs to do penance.” She had not pulled away. She had not run away. He pulled her arm through his and began walking toward the International House. Adam gave a mental shrug. Penance only served to absolve those who repented their sins, and he did not even regret his. 

 

********** 

Little Joe peered through the knothole against which his left eye was pressed. His range of vision was small but centered on what he was trying to see. He had observed Adam and Consuela slip into the café’s storeroom together just minutes before, and he wanted to know why. Before his widening eye, Adam took Consuela in his arms, and she circled his neck with hers. Little Joe watched as his brother lowered his head to place his lips on Consuela’s. Joe held his breath as the two kissed and managed to keep his exclamation mental only because a hand came over his mouth. Little Joe found himself being pulled away from his spy hole and into the circle of his middle brother’s arms. Hoss carried the struggling boy back into the kitchen and then plopped him on his feet. 

“What ya think you’re doing, boy?” Hoss’s words hissed. 

“What do I think I’m doing? Where do you get off dragging me around like that?” Little Joe answered in a fierce whisper. 

Hoss placed his hands on his hips. “I asked ya what you was doing, but I really don’t need to ask, do I? You was spying, wasn’t ya?” 

Little Joe veered from anger at his middle brother’s high-handed interference to excitement over his ill-gotten knowledge. “Wait ’til ya hear what I saw. Ooo, Adam’s gonna be in trouble when Ma hears!” 

Hoss reached out and placed a weighty hand on Little Joe’s shoulder. He leaned down into his little brother’s face. “Just what do you think Ma’s gonna hear?” 

“Adam’s in there kissing on Consuela!” Joe announcement was a triumphant whisper. 

Hoss’s face did not show the surprise that Little Joe had expected. Instead, the frown on his brother’s face deepened. “And you’re thinking on telling Ma?” 

“Well, yeah. He shouldn’t oughta being doing that, Hoss.” 

“And you shouldn’t oughta be spying on folks.” Hoss shook his finger in Little Joe’s face. 

“The old man lit into you when you was kissing on that Ellie Crawford. Now he’s in there kissing on Consuela.” 

Hoss straightened up and loosened his hold on Little Joe. “That was different.” 

“What was different about it?” 

“Lots of things, little boy.” 

“Ma won’t think it’s so different.” 

Hoss scowled at Little Joe. “Iffen you go and tell Ma, you just remember when her hairbrush lands on your behind for tattling and spying that I told ya so!” Hoss heard Mrs. Cantrell come into the kitchen and stomped out. 

Little Joe sat down to think over Hoss’s comment. Ma didn’t like tattling. She defined tattling as telling something for the sole purpose of getting someone else in trouble not to keep that person from bigger trouble. Little Joe bit his lip. If he just went up and told Ma, she might consider it tattling. Of course, he could probably work things so that Ma asked him the right question, so he would have to tell her that Adam was kissing Consuela or lie. He would not get in trouble for telling the truth. There was the fact, though, that he had been spying, and it would be hard to explain how he saw what happened in the storeroom in a way that would keep him innocent. A person didn’t look through knotholes accidentally. 

Even if it didn’t occur to Ma to wonder about how he saw what he saw, Adam would be sure to point it out. Then there was the problem of Adam’s being mad. Ma would keep him from doing anything direct about it, but payback could come in all sorts of ways. Little Joe sighed. He would squirrel away this information and see if it proved useful in the future. Joe smiled smugly as Adam and Consuela walked back into the kitchen. 

 

********** 

Marie had extended the invitation, so it was entirely proper that Consuela would be returning to the Ponderosa after midnight mass to spend Christmas with the Cartwrights. The girl had no family, and it was really an act of Christian charity to share this holiday with her. Adam whistled as he dressed. This was going to be a very special holiday indeed. 

“Adam!” Little Joe’s wail had a familiar ring to it. His baby brother needed help with some everyday crisis. 

“What, Little Joe?” Adam called out turning from his mirror to face his doorway. Little Joe walked into the room. 

“Can’t get this fool thing to look right.” Joe waved his tie in the air. 

“Come here.” Adam took the tie and placed it around Joe’s neck. “Now stand still!” 

“Ya got it too tight. You’re choking me.” Little Joe sputtered and shifted from foot to foot. 

Adam rolled his eyes and considered how often in the past few days he had seriously considered doing just that. “There it’s done. Now don’t go messing with it.” Little Joe’s hand had gone to his throat, and Adam lightly slapped it away. 

Joe stepped around his brother to study his reflection in the mirror. He smiled at himself. “Thanks, Adam.” 

“Adam.” This time it was Hoss who walked through the open door with his tie hanging from his fingers. 

Adam laughed and reached for his middle brother’s tie. “Hand it here.” Adam tied Hoss’s string tie and brushed some crumbs from the lapel of Hoss’s suit. Adam wondered how many hundreds of Christmas cookies Hop Sing baked each year.  

“Now, don’t I just have the handsomest sons in the territory.” Marie’s sons all looked to see her standing in the doorway. 

“And we sure enough have the prettiest ma.” Hoss was the first to declare his approval. His brothers echoed their agreement.  

Marie smiled. “If we do not leave soon, we shall be late.” 

“We’re all ready, Marie. Hoss, is the buggy hitched?” 

“Sam said he’d see to it about fifteen minutes ago.” 

“Then let’s get a move on.” Adam hurried Little Joe along with an arm around his shoulders. Everyone went to their rooms to gather their coats and then headed downstairs. 

Adam rode beside the buggy savoring the night air. It was cold but clear, and- thank the Lord- there had been no new snow in two weeks. He had fretted over the weather, for it was the one thing that could have spoiled his plans. Now he could relax and enjoy the pleasant sense of anticipation that filled his whole being. He would have over thirty-six straight hours with Consuela within reach. Well, she would be within the same building at least, and that was a vast improvement over the distance between the ranch house and Virginia City. Adam’s smile deepened. Everything was ready. Special care had been given to all the Christmas preparations. Not that anyone ever had to worry about the house or the food. Hop Sing loved Christmas and was determined to excel at this time of year. They had gotten the tree yesterday. He and his brothers had made their yearly expedition complete with friendly arguments and less friendly snowball fights and located a perfect specimen. They had decked the halls and decorated the tree earlier today managing to break only one ornament and no one’s neck. Little Joe had nearly taken a header off the ladder, but luckily Hoss had been standing next to him. Adam wondered if Consuela had ever seen a Christmas tree. His first stepmother Inger had brought the custom to the Cartwright family, and his Pa had carried it on in her memory. Marie had delighted in the practice, and many of the ornaments that now hung on the tree had been made by her hands. Adam wondered what Christmas had been like for Consuela. The two of them could talk for hours about almost anything, but Consuela rarely spoke of her past and always steered Adam away from any questions about it. No doubt her grief was still too new for memories that must surely center around her mother to bring her pleasure instead of pain. How long had it been before he could remember Pa with a smile? 

Midnight mass on Christmas Eve was the one service that Adam had always loved attending at St. Mary’s. The candlelit decoration and the liturgical grandeur seemed to enhance the magic of the night. He could not translate the Latin words that flowed from the altar, but he listened to the sweet cadence and reached out to take Consuela’s hand in his. He held it gently hidden in the folds of her voluminous skirts. When the congregation knelt in prayer, Adam added a silent thank you for his family and the girl beside him. 

 

********** 

As the man of the house, Adam entered alone. Hoss was seeing to the rig in the barn. Marie, Consuela, and Little Joe waited on the porch kept warm by the lap robes from the buggy. Carefully, by the light of the fire alone, he lit each of the long white tapers on the tree. When it blazed in full glory, he picked up his guitar, called out for his family to enter, and then began softly strumming a favorite carol. His family entered singing. This night his eyes focused solely on Consuela’s face. When she stopped and stared in awe at the Christmas tree and then clapped her hands in childlike delight, Adam wanted to stop time. Instead, he started to sing; his rich baritone reaching out to wrap warmth around those he loved. 

Hop Sing brought out hot chocolate and trays of sandwiches and sweets. As he always did this one night of the year, he stayed to enjoy them. They sang carols, laughed, and told memories. Then came the tradition Pa had told them had been followed by generations of Cartwrights. Each person present was expected to do a solo rendition of a favorite carol. Hop Sing sang in Cantonese a Chinese song of winter. After Marie sang in Creole French the first carol her mother had taught her, Adam looked to see tears in Consuela’s eyes. 

“Now’s your turn, Miss Consuela.”   Little Joe smiled and reached for another cookie. 

Consuela shook her head, and Adam opened his mouth to excuse her, but Hoss spoke gently. “Now ya got to, Miss Consuela, every member of the family does, and your voice is a durn sight prettier than mine.” 

Hoss’s own chuckle started the laughter, and when it ended Consuela began to sing. The Spanish carol was slow and sweet, and Consuela’s soft soprano floated to the high ceiling. When she finished, applause filled the room. “It was my madre’s favorite.”  

The clock chimed, and Marie declared that they must all go to bed. Little Joe started to whine but stopped and jumped to his feet instead. “The presents!”  

 Adam explained to Consuela the last act of the night was to place the presents beneath the tree. Each person went to their room to retrieve the presents they had been hiding for days. Consuela went to the carpetbag Hoss’s had carried in for her. She drew out five bundles wrapped in red paper and tied with green ribbon. 

“Consuela, you didn’t have to bring anything.” Marie shook her head gently. 

“It was my pleasure.”  Little Joe ran up to her. “Which one is mine, Miss Consuela?” 

Consuela laughed, and Marie reminded Little Joe that tomorrow was soon enough for him to know. After the presents were settled beneath the tree, Adam solemnly extinguished each candle. 

Adam moved forward to take Consuela’s arm, but Marie deftly blocked his attempt. Smiling her warning to Adam, she took the girl’s arm in hers and walked with her to the guest room. “Goodnight, child. We are very pleased to have you with us tonight.” 

“I can never thank you enough. I have never had a better night.” Marie heard the sincerity in Consuela’s voice and gently hugged her. 

“With God’s blessing we will all have many more.”  

Adam leaned against the stair rail slightly disgruntled at his stepmother’s preventing his private moment with Consuela. Then he sighed. Perhaps it was for the best. He was not sure he had the restraint tonight to stop with a single kiss. 

 

********** 

Joe was still little boy enough to be the first one awake on Christmas morning, but he was forbidden to leave his room or wake anyone else. That had been the rule since he had turned eight. He lay in bed considering his options. He could, of course, simply wait quietly until the others awoke, but it had been awfully late when everyone went to bed, so that might take hours more. He could accidentally cause a noise loud enough to wake everyone. That was liable to make Adam or Ma grumpy and start his morning with a scolding especially since they might figure it was not really such an accident. He could sneak downstairs and have a poke around at his presents. He could probably tell what most of them were if he did. Then he could sneak back up with nobody the wiser. As long as he did not get caught that was the best choice, and if he did, well, it was Christmas, and nobody spanked anybody on Christmas.  

Little Joe slid out of bed and slipped out of his door. Hoss was still sound asleep because he could be heard snoring. The doors to Adam’s and Ma’s rooms were closed, but Joe stopped as he tiptoed past each one and pressed his ear against the wood. He heard no sound in either room, so he proceeded down the stairs. One, two, three, step only on the right, four, five, step only on the left, six, seven, eight, nine, don’t step on ten at all. Little Joe managed to reach the bottom floor without any squeaks, creaks, or groans from the wooden steps. The he walked over to the tree. Kneeling he began reading the names written on the packages near him until he spotted his own. Then he picked up that package and studied it. It was wrapped in white paper and tied with string, and he knew it was from Hoss. He tested its weight, poked at the sides, and shook it a little. Then he returned it to its place under the tree and started to search again. 

“Little Joe.” The voice made the boy jump to his feet, and then he realized it was soft, feminine, and not his mother’s. He turned quickly to see Consuela standing behind him. “Where are your slippers? It’s too cold to be going about barefoot, Little Joe.”  

Little Joe stared down at his bare feet while thoughts raced through his head. He had forgotten about Consuela, but she didn’t know he was under orders not to be out of his room, but she’d figure it out if he went racing back upstairs. It also occurred to him he was standing around in just his nightshirt in front of a girl. 

“M, mm, merry Christmas, Consuela.” He stuttered the greeting and then realized he had failed to say miss. 

“Merry Christmas, Joe.” Consuela smiled. “Are the others on their way down?” 

“N, n, no. Not yet. I, g, g, guess I better go get them slippers.” Little Joe slipped by Consuela and headed toward the stairs. He stopped abruptly and turned back toward her. 

Consuela recognized the nervous guilt on his face. She had also noticed that the boy had kept his voice to a whisper. “Little Joe, were you not to be downstairs now?”  

Joe shook his head slowly and dropped his chin to his chest. “I’ll be in trouble if you tell.” Little Joe gave Consuela his most pitiful look, bit his lip, and waited. 

Consuela brought her finger to her chin and paused for thought. She knew that both Adam and Marie could be quite strict, and generally she agreed that it was necessary, but he was a little boy, and it was Christmas. She moved her finger to her lips and shook her head. Little Joe grinned and darted back up the stairs. If Adam had to like a girl enough to kiss on her, at least he had picked a nice one. 

 

********** 

Consuela had succeeded in getting Hop Sing to let her help with breakfast by simply remaining in the kitchen despite his quiet ranting. Finally, he had told her what to do, and the two had begun talking as they worked. 

“Is Adam very like his father?” Consuela asked after Hop Sing had mentioned Ben. She was quite curious about the man who had fathered Adam and his brothers and had been Marie’s husband. She had listened carefully to each mention made of Ben Cartwright but had hesitated to ask questions recognizing the depth of his family’s grief even after seven years. She knew that Marie had been Ben’s third wife and that while the boys shared one father, they all had different mothers, but beyond the general story of his journey from the East Consuela knew little. 

“Mistel Calwight often say how Mistel Adam is so much like mothel, but I think numbel one son have much of fathel also.” 

“I suppose the ways the boys are alike must come from their father.”  

“All sons much like fathel on inside.”  

A smile appeared on Consuela’s lips. “Adam calls it the Cartwright temper, so his father must have had quite the temper too.” 

“Mistel Ben…” Hop Sing raised his eyes to heaven. “He have gleat tempel, but I think sons get tempel from both sides except maybe Mistel Hoss.” 

Before Consuela could reply, they heard footsteps and voices. 

“Go tell Calwights bekfast leady.” Hop Sing shooed Consuela toward the door. She quickly snatched a tray of sweat rolls and muffins and went to do as she had been bidden. 

Adam was surprised to see Consuela enter from the kitchen and even more surprised to see her carrying part of breakfast. Hop Sing was very protective of his domain. 

“Hop Sing says to come to the table.” Consuela placed platters there. “Oh, Merry Christmas everyone!” 

Everyone returned Consuela’s greeting as they took their seats. Hop Sing brought in the rest of the food, and Adam said grace. Raising her eyes from prayer, Consuela caught Little Joe looking at her. She smiled and sent him a reassuring glance. He smiled and started eating. Marie and Adam both caught the exchange, wondered what it meant, but then gave a mental shrug of dismissal. They intended to have a wonderful day. 

Hop Sing asked if anyone wanted more coffee, and Little Joe held his breath until Adam, Marie, and even Hoss declined. He had waited as long as he could stand to wait. 

Remembering his manners, he asked everyone in general.  “May I be excused to pass out the presents?”  Little Joe had taken charge of present distribution at a very young age and refused to relinquish the job to anyone else. 

Marie exchanged a look with Adam and then gave her consent. Everyone seated themselves in the great room, and Little Joe began placing packages at their feet. As soon as all the presents under the tree were dispersed, Joe dropped to the floor and ripped into his own packages. Each present was unwrapped and greeted with exclamations from its owner and repeated thanks to its giver. Little Joe finished first and sat amidst his treasure watching the members of this family. Then he heard Adam’s voice above the rest. 

“Consuela, it’s magnificent!” Adam had unwrapped Consuela’s gift. The black silk vest was hand embroidered in silver thread. The Ponderosa brand was repeated in varying sizes. 

“Why it looks like the hills on a winter night!” Hoss’s voice held sincere admiration. 

Marie walked over to look more closely at Consuela’s handiwork. “Consuela, this embroidery is exquisite!” She looked at Adam. “Do you realize how many hours this must have taken?”  

Adam nodded. Consuela had spent far too much money and time on the presents she had made his family. He rose and walked over to Consuela. “This and the rest, it is far too much.” 

“It is so little compared to what you have all given me.” It was clear to everyone that she meant more than the material gifts that surrounded her. 

“Try it on, Adam.” Hoss added a slight shove to his urging. 

Adam made a great show of taking off his suit coat and pulling on the vest. He buttoned it slowly and then raised his arms and bowed triumphantly. “A perfect fit!” 

“Thanks to me!” Little Joe exclaimed before he stopped to think. 

Adam turned to look at his little brother. “How’s that, Joe?” He watched Little Joe shift nervously and raised his eyebrow. 

“Um, I just, I just helped her is all.” 

“How?”  

Little Joe accepted defeat and confessed. “I took her one of your good vests to measure.” 

“You did, now, did you?” Adam then surprised Little Joe by turning away from him to face Consuela. “So, you conspired with my baby brother, did you, girl?” 

Consuela lifted her chin but lowered her lashes. “Quite successfully! ”  

With a startling but gentle move, Adam hoisted Consuela from her chair, twirled her across the room, and then positioned her before him. Before the eyes of his entire family, he leaned down, took her face in his hands, and then kissed her.  

Every other Cartwright in the room gasped. 

“Adam!” Marie’s exclamation held reproach. 

Adam turned to his stepmother with his eyes sparkling. He pointed to the ceiling above him. “Blame Little Joe. He was the one who hung the mistletoe.” 

Hoss was the first to laugh loudly and deeply. Then, to the shock of everyone, he walked over, nudged his brother out of the way, and placed a kiss on Consuela’s cheek. “Only fair, big brother,” he tossed over his shoulder as he walked back to his seat. 

Never one to be left out, Little Joe jumped up, and before Consuela could overcome her shock and move away, Joe darted into the spot vacated by his brother. He leaned up and kissed Consuela’s left cheek and whispered softly, “Thanks for not telling.”  

Marie shook her head gently, smiled, and thought They are all most certainly Ben’s sons. 

 

********** 

Adam set down his new book. Somehow Consuela and Marie had disappeared together, and Hoss had also gone off leaving only Little Joe and Adam in the living room. Joe was seated on the floor trying to open the Chinese puzzle box that had been his gift from Hop Sing. Adam had made a small bet with Hoss that Little Joe would still be trying to open it when the spring thaw came. Adam decided it was the perfect time. 

“Joe, come over here, please.” Adam had put on a stern voice. 

“What do ya want?” Little Joe mumbled while still concentrating on the box. 

“You to come over here, Joseph.” 

Little Joe looked up. “Why?” 

“We need to talk about something while no one else is about.” Hearing Adam’s ominous tone, Joe scrambled to his feet and went to stand before his brother. 

Adam leaned forward. “You went into my room and took something without permission.” 

Little Joe could not believe his ears. “Yeah, but Adam, you can’t…” Joe’s words stopped as he saw the look on his brother’s face. 

“We’ve discussed this before, Joe. What is the rule?” 

“I’m not allowed in your room without permission. I’m not allowed to touch your things without permission.” Little Joe’s voice was flat. “But, Adam, Consuela, I mean, Miss Consuela needed my help. It was for Christmas.” 

Adam did not order Little Joe to look at him but simply asked, “The last time I caught you, what did I tell you?”  

Little Joe shifted nervously. “That you wouldn’t accept any excuses the next time, but, Adam, you wouldn’t, would ya?” 

“I think I have to, Joseph. You have a lesson to learn.” 

“But it’s Christmas, Adam, please.” Little Joe dared a glance at his brother. He sucked in his breath as he saw the sparkle in Adam’s eyes. “You’re teasing me!” 

“Think so?” Adam’s lips turned up in a wicked grin as he grabbed his brother by the waist. When Adam did not flip his brother face down, Little Joe knew that Adam planned to tickle not punish him. He started to struggle. Adam laughed wickedly, and Joe squealed and bucked. Adam instinctively pressed backward to avoid a flying elbow just as Little Joe threw his weight toward his brother. The combined momentum sent their chair crashing to the floor. 

“Oww!” Adam yelled as his head connected with the wooden planks. Joe scrambled up unscathed for his body had been cushioned by his older brother’s. Adam looked up at his brother. “You’re in for it now, little boy.” 

Little Joe paused only long enough to assess that his brother was not severely injured and then turned to make a run for it. Unfortunately, his head-on flight ended as he ran smack into his middle brother who had dashed into the room when he heard the crash. The size difference between the brothers resulted in Hoss remaining the immovable object, and Joe stumbling backwards. Of course, Marie and Consuela had also come running when they heard the crash, and Little Joe’s stumbling caused him to collide with Consuela. His boots caught on her long skirts, and the end result was Joe and Consuela both landing on the floor.  

“Consuela!” Adam had managed to get to his feet and arrived in time to lift Consuela to her feet. Hoss leaned down grabbed up his little brother and set Joe on his feet in front of Marie. 

Marie looked down at her youngest and let out a slow exhalation. “Explain, Joseph.” 

Little Joe looked at Adam out of the side of his eyes and pointed to his elder brother.  “He started it.” 

“Joseph!” Marie snapped, but hearing Adam clear his throat, she fixed her eyes on her eldest. 

Adam grinned sheepishly. “Actually, I did, Ma. I’m sorry.” 

Marie had not heard that tone in years. She started to laugh. When she could speak again, she addressed Consuela. “You are sure you are all right?” 

Consuela was trying to control her own laughter but nodded. Marie walked over and placed her arm around the girl’s shoulders. “Then, my dear, let’s leave my little boys to their games.” 

 

********** 

Consuela placed her last hairpin in place as she heard a light rap on the guestroom door. She walked over and opened it to find Adam leaning against the doorframe grinning. 

“Adam, what do you want?” was Consuela’s startled exclamation. 

“You…” Adam paused, and Consuela’s eyes widen. “To come with me.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the room. Placing a finger over her lips, he whispered into her ear. “Quiet now! Marie and the boys are still asleep. It would be best to keep it that way.” 

Leading Consuela on, Adam stopped at the front door. He picked up a large buffalo robe, pulled it around her, and walked her out the door. A faint light had just begun to brighten the eastern sky, but it was still dark there on the porch. Suddenly Adam scooped up Consuela and started carrying her across the yard. 

“Be still, or I’m liable to drop you.” Consuela’s arms immediately encircled his neck and Adam’s grin deepened. He carried her into the barn where Sport waited saddled and ready to go. 

“Adam, what on earth!” 

“We’re going for a ride, girl.” Adam set Consuela on Sport’s back and mounted behind her. 

Obviously, she was being given no choice in the matter, so Consuela willing surrendered and relaxed into Adam’s arms. 

“May I ask where we are going?” Consuela finally inquired tilting her head to look into his face. 

“To watch the sunrise. You’re not cold, are you?” 

Consuela snuggled closer. “No, I’m not cold.” 

When they reached the chosen spot, Adam stopped and dismounted. He gently lifted Consuela down and tied Sport’s reigns to a tree branch. Placing his arm around Consuela’s waist he walked her to the edge of the rise. Putting his finger against her lips, he spoke.   “Shush now and just watch.”  The sunrise painted the eastern sky and the mountaintops before them. Consuela drew in her breath awed by the beauty of the sight. When the colors paled and faded, Adam turned Consuela so that they stood face to face. “The only thing I’ve ever looked upon that is more beautiful than that is you.” Leaning closer, he slowly kissed her. 

When Adam released her, Consuela shook her head and stepped back. “I’m not beautiful, Adam.” 

“There are many kinds of beauty, Consuela, and I see all of them in you.” 

Consuela’s eyes dropped, and she took several steps back. “You are far too good to me, Adam Cartwright.” She drew the buffalo robe more tightly around her. 

“You enjoyed our Christmas then?”  

“More than anything in my life.” 

“It has been just about perfect.” Adam’s smile showed his dimples. 

“Just about?” 

“One thing more, and it shall be perfect.”  

Consuela was almost too afraid to ask. “What would make it perfect?” 

Adam took her hand in his and dropped to one knee. “Say that you will be my wife, Consuela.” 

Consuela gasped and drew her hand from his. “Madre de Dios!! I can’t.” She turned away from him and sank to her knees weeping. 

Adam was stunned. He rose slowly and then leaned down and drew Consuela up into his arms. “What is it, little love? Tell me, and we’ll fix it.” 

“You do not know. It is not something that can be changed.” She continued to sob. 

He placed his hand beneath her chin and raised her eyes to his. “Tell me, Consuela, do you love me?” 

He could feel her tremble as she answered. “Yes.” 

“Then tell me what makes you cry.” It was an order. “What do I not know?” 

She pulled herself from his arms. Taking a deep breath, she began to speak softly. “I told you my mother raised me alone. You thought my padre was dead.” Her voice took on a flat, lifeless tone. “That is not so. My mama was thirteen when her parents died. The patron ‘s wife took pity on her and let her come to the hacienda to work in the kitchens. One day a friend of the patron’s son came to stay for a time. He, he, well, after he left my mama found that, that, she was with child. She went to him. He told her he was going to announce his engagement the next day to the girl his family had chosen. He sent her away. The patron’s wife would not have her back, but a family in the town allowed her to work for them for her food and bed. Everyone in the town knew my shame. That is why I left.”  

Consuela stopped talking and stood slumped and staring at the ground. Adam came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.  

“If there is any shame, love, it is not yours.” He turned her to face him and pulled her to his chest. “You don’t honestly think I give a… that such a thing could make a difference to me.” 

“You could not give so fine a name as yours to a girl who has not even one of her own. Your kisses, si, but not your name.” The certainty in her voice scared him. 

“I love you, Consuela, and I want to give you my name and my heart.” He drew in a deep breath. He knew now what it was that Hoss had seen to remind him of Maria Regina. He knew her doubts and fears had been beaten into her mind far too long to be wiped away quickly or easily. He stepped back, so she could see his face. “You don’t have to say yes now. We’ll go on as we have been until I can convince you that it doesn’t matter to me, my family, or anyone whose opinion counts.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a handkerchief. Wiping her face, he instructed her. “No more tears. Mind me now, you hear?” 

A faint smile came to Consuela’s lips. “Or you will do what, Adam Cartwright?” 

Adam grinned wickedly. “Ask Little Joe the answer to that one, girl. Come now. We’ve got to get back for breakfast!” 

 

********** 

Adam looked up and saw that Marie’s eyes were on him once again. He had found Marie studying him time and again since he had returned from taking Consuela back to town. Now just the two of them remained awake, and Adam decided that it was time to deal with his stepmother. 

“Do you intend to ask me tonight, or do you plan to wait until you receive some favorable portent?” 

Marie disliked his tone. “The only favorable sign I am waiting for must come from you, Adam. There is no reason to ask a question that will not be answered.” 

“Is it that you think you already have the answer, Marie?” Adam’s voice was sharp. 

“I think you would do well to watch your tone, my son.” Marie eyes flashed. 

“Or? I’m not Little Joe, Marie.” 

“No, you are not a child, Adam, so this petulance ill becomes you.” Her tone was icy. 

Adam shot to his feet. He turned away from her to gaze into the fire. 

“Your father taught you better.” Marie watched Adam’s shoulders slump at her simple statement. 

“My father… ” Adam’s voice was a whisper, and his statement remained unfinished. 

“Would you tell your father, Adam, if he were here?” 

“Just ask, Marie.” 

“She had been crying.” It was not a question but a statement of fact. 

Adam straightened. “As you said, Marie, my father taught me better than that.” He turned to face Marie again. “She was upset by what she told me.” 

“A confidence you cannot reveal?” Marie was prepared to accept that if it was so. 

“Not really. There’s no reason it should be a secret. Consuela told me she was, well, that her parents were never married.” Adam felt deflated and sat down. “She thinks it makes a great difference. That she is, I don’t know, tainted because of it.” Adam studied his stepmother’s expression. “You’re not surprised. Had she told you?” 

“No, she did not tell me, but something she said once. No, I am not surprised.” 

“Does it matter to you, Marie?” His eyes burned, and his tone was demanding. 

“No.” Marie shook her head for emphasis. “No, Adam, it is of no consequence to me, but you realize that is not true of everyone.” 

“Everyone else can go to blazes!” 

“Adam, you must realize that in a town like the one Maria came from, well, she would have endured many things that convinced her the circumstances of her birth made a great difference.” 

“And her church, would it have condemned her too?” 

“Not the church, Adam, but some of its representatives.” Marie shrugged eloquently. Adam remained silent. Marie did not ask what had prompted Consuela to reveal her secret to Adam. That was a question to which she did believe she knew the answer. 

“I can convince her it doesn’t matter.” His words were a statement, but his eyes questioned. 

“It will take time, my son, but we shall be diligent in our efforts and our prayers.” Marie rose and went to place her hand upon his shoulder. After squeezing gently, she lifted her hand to his head and ruffled his hair as she often did Joseph’s. “And now, my boy, Mama is ordering you to bed.” 

Adam allowed himself to smile. “Yes, ma’am.” 

 

********** 

The weeks returned to their previous rhythm, but Adam subtly increased his public acknowledgement of his and Consuela’s relationship, and they were often seen in each other’s company. For now, he was content to visit her frequently, to have her take her place with his family each Sunday, to taste her kisses when they were alone, and to dream of their future each night. 

“I’ll saddle the horses while you change.” Adam turned to head toward the barn. 

Little Joe looked up from his seat at the table. His catechism was open before him, and he had been sentenced to study it until supper. “Where are you going, Adam?” Little Joe asked though he was sure he already knew. 

“I’m taking Consuela to the high country.” Adam stated and waited for what he knew was coming. 

“To Cutler’s Valley to see the wild herd run, right? That’s where you’re going, isn’t it?” Joe rose from his chair. 

“We may not even get a glimpse of that herd, Joe.” 

“But you’re gonna try! You promised I could go with, Adam. You know you did.” 

“And I would take you with if you were allowed to leave that table.” Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose and hoped the boy would let it go at that. 

“Is that why you decided to go today? Just because than you would have a reason not to take me.” Little Joe ‘s voice had taken on a shrill edge. 

“Joseph, Consuela and I decided to go today when I saw her on Thursday. I spoke to Ma about Consuela borrowing some riding clothes then. We will not be changing our plans because you could not behave properly at church this morning.” Adam’s voice had lost its placating tone. 

Little Joe snorted. If Adam had told him about going up to the valley, he would have waited until next Sunday to get back at Celia Bradshaw. “Please, Adam, ya got to keep your promise.” 

“I didn’t set your punishment, Joe. Ma did.” 

“But Ma would listen if ya told her to let me go.” Little Joe watched his brother shake his head and set his jaw. Little Joe took a deep breath and played his last card. “Please, Adam, you could tell Ma that you’ll give me a licken’ instead.” 

“Joseph, you would not want to ride anywhere if I gave you a licken’ for disrupting the whole congregation by shooting spitballs at a girl.” Actually, Little Joe had not already received a spanking because he had picked his victim very judiciously and managed to avoid discovery until the family was at breakfast. 

“You could do it after we got back.”  

“I don’t intend to speak to Ma on your behalf, so sit down and remember to behave yourself next time.” 

Consuela had stopped and turned to ask Adam a question. She heard the conversation with Little Joe from the stairs. She knew that the adventure of trying to see the wild herd in the upper valley was much more intriguing to the boy than to her. She sighed and walked back down the stairs. 

“Adam.” 

Adam turned and looked at Consuela questioningly. “What is it, Consuela?” 

“Would you mind if we didn’t go riding today?” Consuela slid a glance at Little Joe. “Perhaps we could wait until next week.” 

“Is something wrong?” Adam had seen Consuela’s glance and suspected she had heard Joe’s pleas. 

“Not wrong, it’s just, well, I have a slight headache, and well, I’m not that strong a rider.” 

“Of course, if you’d rather wait, next week will do just as well.” Adam watched Consuela’s reaction closely. 

“Thank you, Adam.” Consuela sent Little Joe a swift smile. 

Adam’s temper flared. “Perhaps a breath of fresh air would do you good.” He managed to make the suggestion sound like an order. He strode to the door, opened it, and waited for Consuela to walk out onto the porch. The sun had warmed the afternoon enough that a few minutes outside without a coat was bearable.  

Consuela knew Adam well enough to recognize his anger. “What is it you wished to say to me, Adam?” 

“I will not have it, Consuela. I will not have you lying for my little brother.” Adam’s voice was at its sternest. 

Consuela dropped her eyes. What he said was true; she had lied for Little Joe though she had not thought of it that way at the time. 

Adam brought his hand beneath her chin and tilted her head back up. “I don’t like punishing him, Consuela. You know that; don’t you?” 

“Of course, I do. I just thought… he wants to go so badly, and it really doesn’t matter if we go today or next Sunday.” 

“It matters that Little Joe knows that he can’t get around a punishment once it’s set. Half the mischief he gets into is due to his convincing himself he can wheedle his way out of any real punishment.” 

“It was a harmless prank.” 

“The next prank he decides he can get away with may not be so harmless.” Adam sighed. “I’ve been acting as his pa for a while now, Consuela.” He smiled down at her. “Marie and I don’t always agree about just how to keep Joe on the straight and narrow, but we’ve learned to support each other nevertheless.” He started to say, “When you are my wife,” but stopped himself before he uttered the words. 

Consuela realized that Adam’s anger was gone and understood what he was asking of her and why. “I see. I should not have undermined you and his mother, and I will not again.” 

Adam wrapped his arm around her and pulled her gently to his side. “He can be awfully hard to resist.” 

“Does it get easier with practice?” 

“Not really!” He laughed and walked her back inside. 

 

********** 

Adam left the bank and headed toward the café. The breakfast customers would be mostly gone and the lunch customers not yet arriving. It would be a good time to drop by and see Consuela. He made his way purposefully through the streets deciding at the last moment to take the shortcut through the alley to the backdoor since there hadn’t been much rain, and the mud shouldn’t be too deep. The buildings blocked much of the sunlight, so he could not identify the figures standing at the end of the alley. He gave them little attention until he heard a girl scream. 

Consuela had come out of the café to place some rubbish in the bin in the alley. At first, she had tried to ignore the angry voices, but then she had heard the slap and the girl’s cry of pain. When the man had slapped the girl a second time, Consuela had acted instinctively. She had run up demanding that he leave the girl alone. The man had laughed and ignored her until he saw the derringer in her hand. 

“Well, now, senorita, you just put that peashooter away. This here is my woman.” The man had grabbed the girl by the arm, and she had screamed in fear. 

Consuela took a firmer grip on her pistol and aimed directly at the man’s chest. She watched as his eyes widen, and then she heard a voice from behind. 

“Well, this is my woman, and she can hit what she aims at, mister, so can I. Let go of the girl and get.” Consuela recognized Adam’s voice and relaxed with relief.  

The man released the girl’s arm and focused on the gun in Adam’s hand. “I’ll be leaving, but she’s going with me.” 

“He was hurting her, Adam.” Consuela spoke in a clear, calm voice. 

“Miss, do you want to go with this man?” Adam spoke to the girl, but his eyes remained on the man beside her. The girl was cowering with her hand to her face where she had been slapped. Too scared to speak, she simply shook her head violently. 

“As the lady as no wish to accompany you, you will be leaving alone.” Adam’s voice held the same tone he had used with Jasper O’Dell. 

“What’s your name, cowboy? I like to know my enemies by name. ” The man sneered. 

“Adam Cartwright. You have a choice: leave now, or we can send for the sheriff.” 

“My pa didn’t raise no fool, but you can be sure I’ll be back for her.” The girl next to him whimpered. 

“Come to us, girl.” Adam was gentle but firm. Consuela held her arms out, and the girl darted into them. “Make the only wise decision of your life, mister. Leave the girl alone and leave town starting now.” The small sound of Adam’s gun cocking made itself heard by all. 

The man made a sound of disgust as he stomped away. Consuela led the girl into the kitchen of the café, and Adam followed protectively behind them.  

Adam stood sipping a mug of coffee while Consuela and Mrs. Cantrell cared for the girl who had told them her name was Lily Anne. Lily Anne’s story was sad but not extremely unusual. Sixteen and growing up on an isolated farm, she had thought herself in love with a good-looking man who had worked a few weeks for her folks. She had left with him only to find that he quickly tired of her and passed her on to a friend. Buck Canton had made the past two weeks of the girl’s life a nightmare. The bruises visible on various parts of her body attested to that. Adam set the mug down with a decisive smack. 

“Lily Anne, do you want to go home?’ Adam’s tone was commanding. 

“Don’t know if my folks would have me back.” Lily Anne ducked her head as she murmured her answer. 

“I asked if you wanted to go back.” Consuela shot a reprimanding look at Adam, for she felt his tone had been too harsh. 

“Yes, oh, yes!” Lily Anne burst into tears. 

“Then this is what we will do.” All three women in the room responded to the confident command in his voice. “One, we will telegraph your parents, Lily Anne. Two, we will make a report to the sheriff. Three, we will get you a room at the hotel. Then after we hear from your parents, we will make arrangements for the stage.” 

“I haven’t any money.” It was a soft wail of despair. 

“That is not a problem.” Adam made a dismissive gesture. When Lily Anne started to question that fact, Adam continued. “I’ll see to payment. You can repay me if you wish whenever you can. Mrs. Cantrell, you can spare Consuela for a time?” 

“Of course, Adam.”   Mrs. Cantrell became her usual bustling self. “Mr. Cartwright will see to you, girl.” She patted Lily Anne on the shoulder. “You just go along with him and Consuela, and everything will be just fine. Now don’t you worry about your folks, child. I bet they’re just waiting for some word from you, so they can tell you get yourself home quick.” 

 

********** 

It had taken longer than Adam expected to carry out his plan, but Lily Anne had finally been left safely ensconced in a room at the International House. Adam thought that there was little chance of Canton looking for a penniless girl at the best hotel in town, but the desk clerk had been instructed to immediately send for the sheriff should anyone come around asking about the girl. Consuela had been swept back to work as soon as they had returned to the café. Not ready to leave town, Adam had taken care of some ranch business and then returned to the café to have supper and wait for a reply to his telegram. The reply came just as Mrs. Cantrell was getting ready to lock the café’s door. 

Adam tipped the boy who handed him the telegram twice the usual amount and tore open the missive. Reading it quickly, he smiled. At least returning Lily Anne to a proper life was not going to present additional problems.  

Mrs. Cantrell locked the door behind her final customer of the day and took a seat at the table with Adam. Consuela joined them, and the women waited for Adam to inform them of the telegram’s contents. 

Adam looked at their worried faces and grinned. “They want her back as quick as we can put her on the stage. In fact, they’re wiring money for the fare.” 

Consuela raised her eyebrows questioningly. She knew Adam had already purchased a ticket for the girl on the next day’s stage. 

“She’ll be able to use that money on the way back.” He answered Consuela’s silent question with a smile. 

“Well, now, that’s a relief. Poor little gal. I was worried that her folks could turn out to be the hard-nosed sort.” Mrs. Cantrell rose to her feet with a sigh. “Best get to cleaning up.” 

Consuela looked at Adam. “Do you think it’s safe for her to travel alone?” 

Adam considered the question for a moment. “If there’s no sign of Canton before morning, I wouldn’t be too worried. He doesn’t think she has the money for the fare, so it probably won’t occur to him to think about her being on the stage. We’ll let the driver know to keep an eye out. It’s only a two-day trip, and Lily Anne’s not likely to be to bold or reckless.” 

“Perhaps I should travel with her.” Consuela chewed her lower lip. The fare would take a large portion of her savings, but the girl’s safety was far more important. 

“If we decide she needs a bodyguard, Consuela, rest assured it will not be you.” Adam’s voice had a harsh finality to it, and Consuela’s eyes flew to his face. She saw the anger she knew had been brewing there come flashing to the surface. 

“I need to help, Mrs. Cantrell.” She jumped to her feet. 

“I’ll walk you home.” Adam’s tone made his words more order than invitation. 

Consuela failed to answer as she went about the final cleaning for the night. 

They had not spoken since biding Mrs. Cantrell goodnight.  

“Are you going to tell me why you are so angry, Adam, or are you going to simmer in silence?” Consuela inquiry held an edge. 

“Don’t you know?” Adam’s voice was as sharp-edged as a knife. 

“I know my actions cost you a great deal of your valuable time and money. The time I can’t repay, but the money…” 

“THE MONEY CAN GO TO THE DEVIL!” Adam’s roar rocked Consuela back on her heels. Seeing Consuela’s reaction, he fought to lower his voice. “Do you honestly think I care about the money, or that I would begrudge an afternoon spent saving a child from a brute like Canton? Do you?” 

Consuela shook her head. “No, I didn’t.” 

“You could have been hurt! I didn’t give you a gun so you could run headlong into danger. What in world were you thinking? Were you even thinking?” 

“He was hurting her, Adam. I was thinking she needed help.” 

“Then send for the sheriff!” 

“And watch that brute beat her and drag her away while I wait for him to arrive.” Consuela’s vehemence matched Adam’s. Adam drew in a deep breath. Consuela snapped. “You thought me brave not foolish when it was Little Joe.” 

Adam grabbed Consuela by the upper arms and drew her closer. “Jasper O’Dell was a bully. This Canton is a dangerous man.” He wrapped his arms around her and spoke softly. “I wasn’t so hopelessly in love with you then. You scared me, girl.” 

“I’m sorry, but I had to do what I did.” 

Adam sighed. “It was loaded, wasn’t it?” He knew she still feared a loaded gun. 

Her soft no was lost against his shoulder.  

 

********** 

Consuela poured the miner another cup of coffee. She had managed to work efficiently the past few days, but her mind kept returning to thoughts of Lily Anne’s safety, Buck Canton’s whereabouts, and Adam’s reaction to her being in danger. She noted that another customer had entered the café and went to take his order. 

“Yeah, I saw it myself. He called Adam Cartwright out and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” The new customer announced the news to his friend taking the seat that had been saved for him. “Bad choice on his part. Adam shot him straight through the heart. Don’t think Cartwright’s wound is …” 

The coffee pot in Consuela’s hand crashed to the floor. “Adam!” Consuela’s was shaking and her hands moved aimlessly. 

Hearing the crash and Consuela’s cry, Mrs. Cantrell rushed from the kitchen to the dining room. Seeing Consuela, she went to the girl’s side. 

Flustered by Consuela’s reaction, the customer who had announced the news spoke with dismay. “Sorry, miss. They took him to the doctor. Really, he didn’t look too bad.” 

“I must…” 

“Go to him, girl. Go on.” Mrs. Cantrell patted the girl’s back. Consuela ran from the café and did not stop running or praying until she burst through the door of Doctor Martin’s office.  

“Where is he? Adam! Oh, where is he?” 

Hoss saw that Consuela was near hysteria and caught her by her arms. Gently he drew her over to a chair and sat her down. “Consuela, Adam’s all right! It’s just a flesh wound. He’s all right. He’s with the doc right now. ” Hoss patted her and soothed in his gentlest tone. 

“He’s hurt, Hoss. They said he was hurt.” 

“Iffen he was bad hurt, Miss Consuela, you’d see it in my face, wouldn’t ya?” Hoss held Consuela’s face in his gentle hands, so she could see only him. 

Consuela slowly calmed as she looked into Hoss’s eyes. “He’s going to be all right?” 

“I’m going to be fine, girl. Don’t you fret.” At the sound of Adam’s voice, Consuela and Hoss both sprang to their feet and rushed toward him. 

“Whoa now, you two. Watch out for his arm.” Doc Martin called out his command. “I just stitched it up, and I did a fine job if I say so myself.” 

Consuela looked at Adam. “It was Buck Canton?” 

“He won’t bother anyone again.”  Adam’s voice was calm and assured. 

“It would have been my fault, all my fault!”  Consuela buried her face in her hands and sobbed. 

Adam wrapped his good arm around her and drew her to his chest. “Shhh, now, there’s no reason to carry on. Everything’s fine, and it’s not your fault.” 

“I was so scared for you.”  Consuela tilted her head looking into Adam’s face.  

Doc Martin shifted nervously. “Hoss, I don’t want Adam riding.” 

“No problem, Doc, we came in the wagon for supplies. I’ll be doing the driving, and big brother can do the resting. Ma will see he behaves himself once we get home.  Miss Consuela, should I see ya back to the café while I fetch the wagon?” 

“Oh, Mrs. Cantrell will be needing me, and she thinks…  Yes, Hoss, I should be getting back.” Consuela turned to Hoss. “You’ll take care of him?” 

“Reckon that would be only right seeing as how many times he’s done took care of me. Don’t fret, Miss Consuela, he’s hurt himself just about as bad shaving.” 

“Adam?” 

“I’m fine, Consuela. As you said, Mrs. Cantrell needs you.”   

“Well, then I best go, and I can set her mind at ease.”  Consuela started for the door and then stopped abruptly. “Madre de Dios, Little Joe! What if he should hear?” 

Adam exchanged a look with Hoss. If their baby brother should hear something at school or on his way home, the boy would react badly. The chance might be small, but it was not worth taking. “We’ll stop by the school and talk to Joe a few minutes, so he’ll know everything is fine and not to listen to any over-blown gossip.” Adam walked over to Consuela and whispered into her ear. “You could kiss me and make it all better.” 

Consuela shook her head, rolled her eyes, and took Hoss’s arm. They left Adam to listen to the doctor’s myriad instructions alone. 

 

********** 

“Straight through the heart!” Little Joe declared triumphantly.  “And that old Buck Canton dropped down dead on the spot.” 

“He hit your brother, though, didn’t he?” One of the group of listening boys was quick to ask. 

“Winged him, yeah, but that didn’t make no difference to old Adam. Take more than that to bring down a Cartwright.” Little Joe puffed out his chest with pride. “Sheriff came out to talk to Adam last night. He says that Canton was a wanted man.” 

“Is Adam getting a reward?” Mitch Devlin enquired eagerly.  

“There is one, but Adam ain’t keeping it. He told the sheriff to send it to that girl, Lily Anne. Adam says that Canton owes her a durn sight more than that. ‘Sides Adam don’t need any blood money for doing what needed to be done.” 

The mummers of admiration rang sweetly in Little Joe’s ears, but not in those of one of his listeners. Zeb Crocker rubbed the bruise his brother had inflicted that morning and scowled. Zeb lived with his older brother who was a private bully and a public coward. Joe’s pride in his older brothers and their obvious love for him had long burned in Zeb’s belly like acid. Little Joe had never quite figured out just why Zeb disliked him and had given up worrying about it long ago. 

“The onliest reason Adam was fighting with that Canton was because of that senorita of his. My brother says everybody knows about the two of them.”  Zeb’s jibe elicited a chorus of snickers. 

Little Joe bristled at the insult to both Consuela and Adam. “You watch your mouth, Zeb Crocker!” 

“You plan on doing something iffen I don’t, Cartwright?” Zeb took a fighting stance. 

“You best not fight, Joe. Not at school, anyways.” Mitch quickly cautioned his friend. 

Zeb saw that Little Joe was about to heed Mitch’s warning. “Don’t have to be at school. Can’t have a good fight with Miss Jones around to stop it before it gets finished anyway. Of course, if your brother is the only Cartwright who ain’t yellow…” 

“Where and when, Crocker? Ya just name it!” 

Zeb paused to consider his options. He was a good twenty pounds heavier and five inches taller than Little Joe. He wanted an opportunity to beat the boy good and proper without adult interference. “I know. After school meet me behind St. Mary’s. Won’t be anybody around the church on a Wednesday.” 

“What about Father Aloysius?” The inquiry came from one of the boys. 

“Wednesdays Father visits the sick on the outlying farms, so he won’t be anywhere around neither.” Another one of the boys answered. 

“Well, Cartwright?”  

“I’ll be there…” Little Joe’s declaration ended the confrontation as the bell to end lunch rang out. Little Joe spent most of the afternoon considering how he could make it home in time to stay out of trouble and mentally trying out various explanations for any bruises he might be sporting. 

 

********** 

Consuela walked quickly through the streets. Mrs. Cantrell had needed her early that morning, so Consuela had not been able to stop at St. Mary’s for prayer as was her habit. Now that there was a lull in business between lunch and supper, the good woman had told Consuela she could take a break. She had decided to go to the church. Consuela quickened her pace. A few spring flowers were already blooming in the back corner of the churchyard, and she wanted to cut some of them to place at the Virgin’s altar. Consuela rounded the corner of the church. Before she reached the blooms she was seeking, she heard noises and turned to study the area behind the church. It took her a few minutes to decipher the scene, but as soon as she realized the small crowd of youngsters was watching two boys fight, Consuela headed straight toward the children. 

“Stop! Stop right now!” Consuela managed to sound more commanding than most people would have expected. The crowd of watching children scattered at the sight of an adult, but the two boys rolling around on the ground exchanging punches took no notice of her arrival. Knowing she could never pull the two apart, Consuela looked around. She darted to the well behind the church hoping the bucket would be fill. Two minutes later she dumped cold water over the two combatants. The shock brought the fight to a sputtering halt. Only then did Consuela recognize Little Joe as one of the fighters. 

As the boys’ tempers cooled, Consuela’s flared. “Get up! Get up the two of you! What is going on here?” Consuela’s hands were on her hips, and the orders whipped out of her mouth with a vehemence that brought both boys to their feet before her. 

“Ain’t no business of yours!”  Zeb was defiant. Little Joe stood silently hoping the earth would open and swallow him. 

“Shall we make your public brawling the sheriff’s business then, boy?” Consuela’s voice had gone from fire to ice. 

Zeb had the good sense to consider his brother’s probable reaction to retrieving him from the jail.  “No need to do that.” Dropping his eyes to the ground, he added a forced Ma’am. 

Little Joe had stopped breathing when Consuela mentioned the sheriff. When Zeb said ma’am, he managed a gasp. “Please no.” 

“Answer me then, the two of you.”  When neither boy spoke, she turned to Joe. “Joseph, tell me why you were brawling on holy ground!” 

Little Joe felt his knees grow weak. Adam would kill him for fighting; his ma would kill him all over again for showing disrespect to the Lord. 

“Joseph, I will not ask again.” Consuela did not say what she would do instead, and Little Joe did not wait to find out. 

“It weren’t nothing, honest, Consuela. It’s over and done, ain’t it, Zeb? Ain’t it?” Little Joe glared at the other boy. “We’ll just shake, and no harm done. Right, Zeb? It was just foolishness, Consuela.” Little Joe thrust his hand out at Zeb, and Zeb reluctantly gave him a half-hearted handshake. 

Consuela watched the two boys.  She was well aware that whatever had started the fight was not settled between them; although, she had little fear that the fight would resume that day. 

“What’s your name?” Consuela glared sternly at Zeb. 

“Zeb Crocker.”  The boy mumbled and refused to look her in the face. 

“Do you live in town?” Consuela thought that she had seen the boy in the streets before. 

Zeb nodded sullenly.  

“Well, you’d best get home now, and no more fighting!” Zeb took only a moment to throw a glare at Little Joe and then lit out. 

“Cochise is tied up just over there. I guess I best be getting on my way too.” Little Joe tried to keep his tone nonchalant as he started to walk away. 

“Joseph.” Consuela’s voice was soft, but it stopped Joe in his tracks.  

Little Joe looked at Consuela and changed tactics. Letting his eyes fill with tears, he began pleading.  “Ya don’t have to tell Adam, do ya? Please, Consuela, really you don’t. Ya know how Adam is. Please don’t tell, Consuela, please. I promise it’s all over. I know I shouldn’t have been fighting, and I’m sorry, and ya don’t have to tell, please.” 

The anger left Consuela’s face, but she slowly shook her head. “Joe…” 

Little Joe dropped his chin to his chest and let the tears slip down his face. “Please, Consuela, ya know what Adam’ll do if you tell.” He gave her a tragic look. “It won’t be good for his arm.” 

“You knew what he would do before you started fighting.” 

“I couldn’t be a coward.”  Little Joe let a slightly defiant tone creep into his mouth.  

Consuela chewed her lower lip. The town clock chimed. She needed to get back to work. She sighed. “Are you brave enough to tell Adam yourself?” She saw the answer in Little Joe’s eyes before he spoke and chided herself. That would be asking too much of the boy. “You’re coming to the café with me, Joe. Get Cochise.” 

“Why? I…” 

“You’re coming with me. We’ll send word to the ranch for Adam to come and fetch you.” It was a statement of what would happen that left no room for discussion. 

Little Joe looked at Consuela. He had seen that look before on his ma’s and his brother’s faces. Anything but obedience would make matters worse. He went, untied Cochise, and led him through the streets as they both followed Consuela to the café. 

 

********** 

“Adam, I can…” 

“You can get your backside on this wagon seat right now!” Adam pointed to the spot beside him. 

Adam’s tone made Little Joe scramble into the wagon, but he sat with his body hunched and turned away from his older brother.  

Adam snorted and set the team in motion. He spent the next few miles considering what had happened yesterday. He had just gotten back to the house when a rider had arrived with a note from Consuela telling him Little Joe was with her at the café and requesting that he come and retrieve the boy. It had not taken much thought to decide that Joe had gotten himself into some trouble, and somehow Consuela had gotten involved. Actually, the reality of what had happened had not been nearly as bad as a number of the things he had imagined. Little Joe was lucky that Ma had not been the one to deal with the matter. Marie had much less tolerance for boys fighting than he did, and the fact Joe had chosen the churchyard as his battleground only added to that fact. Of course, he had been angry, and the punishment he had administered to his little brother’s bottom was meant to make a lasting impression. Still, he had not been nearly as severe with the boy as he could have been and that had been Little Joe’s only punishment. Having to get up early and go into town to apologize to the priest was not truly a punishment; although Joe no doubt felt it was. Adam glanced at Little Joe from the side of his eyes. Marie had insisted, and Joe should be thankful that she was not the one accompanying him. There was no reason for the sullen attitude that Joe had been displaying since he had come down to breakfast. Adam decided he had put up with enough of his brother’s sulks. 

“The sulking ends now, little boy, and I mean now.” 

“Or you’ll do what, old man?” The words flew out of Joe’s mouth. 

Adam did not say a word; he just pulled the wagon off the road and to a stop. Before the wheels ceased turning, Little Joe jumped down and took off. Adam vaulted from the wagon and gave chase. Joe was fast, but Adam’s long legs ate the distance between them. When Adam reached out and snagged Little Joe by his waistband, he pulled the boy off his feet. Adam managed to keep his hold as they both meet the ground. For a few minutes to do anything more than sit would have required too much physical exertion, so Adam simply worked to get his breathing under control. His temper came under control with it. When was the last time that Joe had literally tried to run away from a scolding? Okay, Little Joe had no doubt thought it would be more than a scolding. Adam studied his brother. The sulky look was gone replaced by one of total dejection. 

Adam released his hold, took in a deep breath, and ordered gently.  “Talk to me, Joe.” 

Little Joe looked at his older brother. “Nuthin’ to say.” 

Adam felt his anger flicker again but pushed it away. “Why did you fight Zeb Crocker?” He had not gotten an answer to that question last night. 

Little Joe sighed. “He said everybody knew about you and Consuela.” 

“Is that all he said?” 

“He said it dirty, and everybody sniggered, and I told him to shut his mouth.” Little Joe tossed his head back. “That’s why I had to fight.” 

Adam raised his eyebrow. “Had to?” 

“Everybody would have thought I was yellow.” 

It was an old argument, and Adam did not intend to spend the morning fighting it. “Not a good enough reason, Joe. You know the rules, so quit pouting about your punishment.”  

“I’m not, well, not exactly.” 

“Then whatever’s in your craw you had best spit out before I remember why I stopped the wagon.” 

“The only reason I got told on is ’cause your sparkin’ Consuela. If you weren’t than I would have got off like Zeb did.” There he had said it, and if Adam got mad, well, it was his own fault. 

“And you don’t think that’s fair?” 

“It’s not fair, Adam, and you know it.” 

“So did Consuela.”  

It was the last thing Little Joe expected Adam to say. “What?” 

“Consuela did not think it fair either. She asked me who she needed to speak with about Zeb and where to find them. She was headed there first chance she got.” 

Little Joe blinked. He knew Adam and Consuela had spoken privately, but it would never have occurred to him that was one of the topics of conversation. “Really?” 

Adam took Joe’s chin in his hand. “Whether Zeb received more or less punishment than you is as it is. We’ve talked about that before.” 

“I know.” Joe sighed. “I just thought Consuela had only tattled on me.” 

Adam bristled.  “Consuela’s not a child, Joseph.” 

“She didn’t have to tell. It’s not like she would have had to lie. You or Ma weren’t gonna ask her Did you catch Little Joe fighting Wednesday?“ 

“No, she wouldn’t have had to lie, but you would have. Ma and I would have had a few questions for you when you rode up late looking the way you did.” 

Little Joe’s eyes dropped back to the ground, and he shifted nervously.  

Adam continued. “She couldn’t stand outside the church and send you to commit a sin, Joe. That’s why she didn’t let you get away with it.” 

Joe looked at his brother. “Are you gonna marry her, Adam?” 

Little Joe’s question caught Adam off guard, and he answered automatically. “Yes. Do you mind?” 

“She’ll be my big sister then, won’t she?”  Adam nodded his head. “I’ll have to mind her like I do you and Ma?” 

Adam started to make a comment about how often Little Joe did not mind either of them but instead nodded again.  “Or face the consequences.” 

“Will she be able to give consequences?” 

Adam’s eyes twinkled, and he nodded again. 

Little Joe shrugged and then gave a weak smile. “I like her, Adam, and, anyways, if she’s my sister I won’t have to remember to say Miss Consuela anymore.” 

“That’s right, Joe…” Adam rose to his feet, “Look on the bright side.” He reached out and pulled Little Joe up. “Better get to town.”  Then he gave Little Joe one swift swat on the behind. “That’s for running, little boy; don’t do it again.”  

 

********** 

“But I’m really sorry, Father, and I won’t ever do it again.” Little Joe gave the priest his most appealing look. He shifted nervously waiting for Father Aloysius to speak.  

“You understand why you were wrong, Joseph?”  

“Yes, Father. Ma and Adam made it real clear, and then Adam made sure I had a reason not to do it again.”  

Father Aloysius looked across Little Joe’s head at Adam. “Got to the seat of the problem, did you, Adam?” 

“You could say that, Father.” Adam gave the older man a grin. 

“Well, then, young man, I need say no more about it than that you are forgiven. Of course, three Our Fathers at the altar would be an expression of sincere repentance.” 

Little Joe knew when a suggestion was something more. “I’ll take care of that right now, Father.” Joe went quickly to kneel at the communion rail. 

Adam and Father Aloysius stood at the back of the nave and watched as Little Joe began his prayers. Then Adam’s eyes spotted the flowers at the Virgin’s altar. He nodded toward them. “Perhaps Joe should make an offering as well as doing penance.” 

“Consuela placed those there. She rarely misses a day coming here.” The priest turned to study Adam’s profile. “She is very devout, Adam.” 

Adam heard the serious tone that had entered the priest’s voice. “I may not be a good Catholic, father, but I do think of myself as a good Christian.” 

“So do I, Adam, be assured of that. You may not be a parishioner, my son, but still, I consider you one of my flock.” 

“And I consider you a friend, Father. I have for a long time.” Adam made a decision. “Father, would you perform the marriage of a Catholic to a non-Catholic?” 

“Are you asking me if I would marry you and Consuela before the altar of St. Mary’s?” The priest and Adam had turned to face each other. “The Church is very important to Consuela, Adam.” 

“That’s why it matters whether or not we can marry in that church. I have always respected Marie’s and Joe’s religion, Father, just as my Pa did. I would never interfere with Consuela’s practice of her beliefs.” 

Father Aloysius placed his hand on Adam’s arm. “What would you do if I said I could not perform such a ceremony? What if Consuela asked you to become a Catholic for the sake of the family you might have?” 

Adam swallowed. The thought had simply never occurred to him. “I, I never thought of that, Father. I, I don’t know what to say.” 

The priest nodded. “To glib an answer is not what is needed, my son. If you and Consuela come to me and ask me to perform your marriage, I shall pray to the Lord for wisdom before I answer. There are many things to be considered.” 

Adam realized the good father meant there was a great deal for Adam to ponder. Before Adam could reply, Little Joe darted up.  

“Excuse me, Father, but I’m finished, and I’ll be late if I don’t go now.” 

“Of course, my boy. God go with you both.” Father Aloysius smiled at Joe and then at Adam. 

“Good day, Father.” Adam put his arm around Little Joe’s shoulders and walked with him out of the church. 

 

*********** 

Marie stopped at the foot of the stairs. She looked over at Adam as he was reading. His legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles. His back was curved and slouching. His head was resting on the chair back and his elbows on the arms. He was intensely concentrating on the book he held. Marie smiled. It could be a dozen years ago; only then she would have had to shoo him upstairs to his bed after confiscating the book, of course. She had come back downstairs to ask him a question, but it really could wait until tomorrow. Perhaps she should not disturb him. She placed her hand on the stair rail, and her wedding ring struck the wood at just the right angle to make a clear, clunking tone.  

Adam startled at the sound, slapped the book closed, and slid it down between his leg and the chair. “Whose there?” 

“Just me, Adam.” If Marie had not just been thinking of the past, she might not have recognized the action or the exact tone in Adam’s voice, but she did. Adam did not want her to know what he was reading. Her lips curled slightly. Her eldest had not felt the need to hide his reading material from her for quite a few years. Most certainly she should not pursue the matter, but the nuns had always said she was far too curious for her own good. 

“Is there something you want, Ma?” 

Marie walked over to stand beside Adam’s chair. “I was going to ask you if you could post a letter for me tomorrow. You did say you were going to the bank, didn’t you?” 

“Yes, yes, I did, and I am, and I will.” Adam replied. 

“Fine then. I’ll leave it on the credenza. Are you headed for bed, or are you planning to read some more?” Marie kept her voice casual. 

“Um, I’ll probably read a bit more.” That guilty tone was still there. 

“What is it you’re reading, son, something new or an old favorite?”  

“Mm.” Adam shifted in his chair. Marie reached out her hand. A sense of having lived through this before settled on Adam. He drew the book out and handed it to Marie. A puzzled look came over her face. 

“Little Joe’s catechism? Why ever would you be reading this?”  Marie was perplexed. 

“I wanted to know more about the Catholic faith.”  

Marie tapped the corner of the book against her chin and took a seat opposite Adam. “Does the reason have something to do with Consuela?” 

“I know Pa never asked you to change churches, Marie, but, well, did you ever ask it of him?” Adam had not planned to have this discussion but decided not to avoid it now. 

Marie shook her head. “You and I are the same in that we seldom asked Ben a question to which we believed the answer to be an unchangeable no.” 

“That’s why you didn’t ask him because you thought he would say no?” 

Marie bit her lip. “It was one of the reasons, perhaps the strongest.” 

“Why did you think he would say no?” 

Marie sighed.  “Mainly because he would not have been deciding for only himself. There was you and Hoss to consider.” 

Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Has Consuela asked you?” 

Adam shook his head. “Do you think that is part of why she, why she felt she couldn’t marry me?” 

“I do not know, my son.”  Marie answered while telling herself she intended to find out. “For most important decisions there is seldom one reason.” 

Adam leaned forward. “Would you be happy if I said I was becoming a Catholic, Ma?” 

Marie drew in a breath and slowly let it out. “Adam, you had scarlet fever when you were thirteen.” 

“I know.” 

“But you don’t remember much about when you were deathly ill.” 

Adam’s voice was soft and slightly boyish as he replied. “I remember you and Pa nursing me. I remember I was embarrassed about how much I wanted you there.” 

Marie’s mind drifted back. She could see the slim, dark-haired boy flushed with fever trying so hard to be stoic for his father. 

“I could barely get Ben to leave your room. Then the doctor told us the crisis would come late that night. Your papa was exhausted, and I begged him to rest. I told him you would need his strength later. We bargained over the hours he would allow himself for sleep. He made me promise to wake him in three hours or if there was any sign of a change. He placed my rosary in my left hand and a Bible in my right and made me swear before he would leave the room. After I was alone with you for a time, I kneeled beside your bed and prayed. I asked the Virgin Mother to intercede for you. I asked every saint whose name I knew to do the same.” Marie paused. She rose and walked over to stare into the fire. “I was so afraid. Afraid to lose you, afraid what your loss would do to your father, but most of all afraid for your immortal soul.” She turned back to face Adam. “The nuns had taught me too well. After you recovered, I took some money I had saved and had masses said for your soul, yours and Hoss’s and Ben’s.” 

“Did Pa know?”  

“No, Ben, never knew; although, I did it repeatedly for years.” Marie wrapped her arms around her waist.  

“Years?” 

“Until your father died.” Marie saw the bewilderment on her stepson’s face. “I knew then it did not matter to me if he were Catholic, and that it could not matter to God.” Marie walked over and took Adam’s chin in her hand. She tilted his face up to hers. “To answer your question, Adam, I am happy each time I recall you are my son.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Don’t stay up too late.” She ruffled his curls as she slipped away. 

 

********** 

Adam knocked on Little Joe’s bedroom door and then entered. “Joe.” 

Little Joe swung away from the window and faced his brother. “Did ya want something, Adam?” 

Adam frowned. “You should be ready for bed, Joseph.” 

“I was just getting ready to get ready.” Little Joe’s fingers went to the buttons of his shirt. 

Adam walked over and turned the desk chair around and seated himself.  “Get into your nightshirt, Joseph. Then we need to talk.” 

Little Joe walked over to his dresser biting his lip and trying to think what could have gotten him in trouble with the old man. He quickly doffed his clothes and donned his nightshirt. “There. I’m ready.”  He turned back to face his brother. 

Adam pointed his finger. “Bed.” 

Actually, that was a good sign. Little Joe quickly placed himself on his bed. “You wanted to talk, Adam?”  

“I have to go to San Francisco.”   

“I know. I heard ya talking to Ma at breakfast. You’re going day after tomorrow.” Maybe he wasn’t in trouble Little Joe thought and relaxed. 

Adam nodded his head. “I decided that Hoss is going to go with me.” 

“Hoss gets to go to San Francisco!”  

“There’s some things he needs to start learning about that side of our business, so, yes, Hoss is going with me.” Adam watched the expected pout form on Little Joe’s face. 

“I could start learning too.”  

“The learning you need to do will be done in school.”  Little Joe’s lower lip thrust out a little further, and his shoulders slumped. “Besides, Joe, we can’t all go off and leave Ma alone. Hoss and I need you to take care of things here.” 

Little Joe looked at his brother skeptically. “Ma could come too. We could make it a family trip.” 

“It’s a business trip, Joseph, and you have school. You will be staying home.” 

Little Joe kicked the footboard and crossed his arms. Adam sighed. Little Joe hated for any member of the family to be gone, and he hated to be left out of anything Hoss did. Joe just refused to acknowledge that the six years difference in their ages mattered. Adam had known that Hoss and he taking a trip was bound to incite rebellion in their younger brother. 

Little Joe knew there was no chance that his brother would relent, but he never gave up with good grace. “Then we ain’t got anything more to talk about.”  Little Joe gave the bed another kick and rolled on his side with his back to his brother. 

“Joe.” Adam did not intend for Marie to have to deal with Little Joe’s attitude and the behavior that would result from it. Things would get settled tonight.  

Little Joe punched his mattress in reply. Adam rose and walked over to the bed. Placing his hand on Joe’s hip, he rolled the boy onto his back. “We are going to talk about how you are going to behave, little boy. Now, do I need to adjust your attitude before we do that or will you?” 

“If ya got to go, I wanna go too. Please, Adam, please.” Little Joe tried to look as pitiful as possible. 

“No. Accept that, Joseph.” 

Little Joe let the tears well up in his eyes. “Maybe I got to stay home, but I don’t have to be happy about it, and I ain’t gonna act like I am.” 

“No, you don’t have to fake happiness, but you do have to act obediently and respectfully.”  

“It’s not your concern how I act when you’re gone. It’s Ma’s.” 

Adam took Little Joe’s chin in his hand and held his head, so he was forced to look into Adam’s eyes. “How you behave is always my concern, little brother. I don’t want Ma to have to punish you, and -rather you realize it or not- I don’t want you to have to get your behind burned. Little Buddy, I don’t want you making Ma and yourself miserable for two weeks.” 

“If you and Hoss are both gone, I’m bound to be miserable.” Little Joe’s voice was flat. 

“Joe, please, I need you to understand and act maturely.”  Adam allowed a slightly pleading tone to enter his voice. “I really do need to be able to think of you seeing to things and being a help to Ma, so I won’t worry so much.” 

Little Joe looked up at Adam. “Do ya really worry when you’re gone?” 

“Yes, Little Joe, I do, but I’ll worry a lot less if you promise me to be grown and responsible while I’m gone. Can you do that for me?” 

“Yeah. I guess I can. I promise, but I’ll still miss ya both a lot.” 

“We’ll miss you too, Little Buddy.” Adam reached out and ruffled Little Joe’s hair. “Now, it’s time for you to get some sleep.”

“Got to say my prayers.” Joe slipped out of bed to kneel beside it. He took his rosary off his night table and began to pray.  

Adam listened quietly and watched his brother’s fingers move over the beads. When Little Joe finished and crawled back into bed, Adam pulled the covers over the boy. “Good night, little brother. ” Adam dimmed the lamp but did not extinguish it. “Ma will be in to say good night in a bit.” 

“Okay.” Little Joe pulled the covers around him. “Adam?” His brother turned to look back at Joe. “I’ll keep an eye on Miss Consuela for ya too.” 

“Thanks, Joe.” Adam smiled. 

 

*********** 

Little Joe climbed to top rail of the corral and sat there looking over the horses that milled inside. He spotted the sorrel and sighed. The horse had been broken just before his brothers had left for San Francisco but had yet to be schooled to the point where Little Joe was allowed to ride him. Joe sighed. He had wanted on that horse’s back since the moment he had first seen him. When he had watched Adam breaking the stallion, he had imagined himself in the saddle. He knew he could handle the horse. Little Joe whistled and saw the sorrel’s ears prick and his head turn. Slowly the horse made his way toward the boy. Little Joe reached into a pocket and brought forth an apple. He held the offering out to the horse. The sorrel approached cautiously and took the apple gently from Joe’s hand. Little Joe reached out and scratched the horse behind the ears.  

“You’d let me ride ya, wouldn’t ya, boy? You’d be good, and we could fly together, couldn’t we. Yes, we could.” Little Joe cooed softly into the equine ear. The sorrel answered in what Joe was sure was the affirmative. Little Joe bit his lip. On a Sunday afternoon none of the hands ever came down by the corrals. His ma and Consuela were busy with women’s stuff inside the house. With his brothers both gone, there was very little chance that he would be caught if he decided to ride the sorrel. If he didn’t ride him now, who knew when he would have a chance? The old man was real strict about what horses Little Joe was allowed to ride, and there was a chance that the sorrel might be sold before Adam gave Joe his permission. Even Hoss was a stickler about Little Joe only riding a horse after Adam decided he could. It was the one misbehavior he could never convince Hoss to allow or overlook. Little Joe rubbed the sorrel’s forehead. “You’d be worth a tanning, wouldn’t ya, boy?” Little Joe sighed. If only he hadn’t promised Adam to be good. Well, actually he had promised Adam to be grown and responsible. Mentally he tried to convince himself that riding the sorrel wouldn’t be breaking that promise. Little Joe sighed more deeply. Well, a promise was a promise, and a promise to a brother was even more. Joe decided he best take himself out of temptation’s path like Father Aloysius was always telling him. 

Little Joe trudged slowly back toward the house. He thought about asking to go over to Mitch Devlin’s, but then remembered that Mitch had said his ma was having their minister for Sunday dinner, so he decided that more company would not be overly welcome at the Devlin house.  Little Joe kicked at a rock. He had gotten used to doing things with his brothers on Sunday. Since Miss Consuela started coming out to the ranch after church, Adam seemed to have more time to be big brother. It occurred to Little Joe that he needed to thank Consuela for the old man taking Sunday afternoon off so often of late. Little Joe thought about the fact that Adam planned to marry Consuela. Apparently, Adam was in no hurry to carry out his plan or even announce it to the world, but that was really no surprise. His elder brother was the kind of person who was always taking his time to plan everything out in advance and get all the little things just right before he acted. Besides, he’d heard a lot of people say that a couple should take their time courting, and Miss Consuela didn’t really seem like the rushing sort either. He liked Consuela, so did Hoss and Ma. Why, Hop Sing even let her in his kitchen sometimes. All in all, Adam’s marrying Consuela would probably be a good thing for everybody. Ma would have female company, and Adam would be in a good mood more often. Course, having another adult around who could give him orders wasn’t very appealing, but Consuela wasn’t the bossy sort, and he really didn’t think she would be very big on handing out consequences anyway.  

Little Joe had reached the yard and stopped to think where to go next. Hop Sing did not like to be disturbed before he started Sunday supper. Little Joe decided to sit on the porch for a bit. He had stayed awake very late finishing his latest dime novel last night and had had to get up early to be at mass in time to serve as altar boy. He sat down, stretched his legs out, and let his head loll back. He was half asleep and did not rouse at the first sound of voices coming through the open window. Slowly he became aware of the conversation and focused on the words. 

“You need to tell him.” That was his ma’s voice. 

“It is not that I want it a secret.” That was Consuela. “I do not know. I just do not know.” 

Little Joe sat up. Consuela sounded really upset. Then he heard the sound of crying. He told himself he should go or make his presence known. If he listened any longer, he would be eavesdropping plain and simple. Then Little Joe thought about promising Adam that he would watch out for Consuela. How could he watch out for her if he didn’t know what was going on? Joe eased toward the window and knelt where he could just peer over the sill. His ma had her arms around Consuela, and Consuela was crying into her hands. 

“You must make a decision, child, for both your sakes. It’s not fair to Adam or you to go on if you intend to do this.” His ma’s voice was firm and had the same sound as when she was telling him he had to do something he didn’t want to do. 

“I know, I know.” Consuela sobbed. “But I love him so.” 

“Sometimes love makes for terrible sacrifice. You have talked to Father?” 

“He told me I must pray. Marie, I have worn my knees out with praying!”  Little Joe could not identify the emotion in Consuela’s voice, but a shudder ran through him at the sound. 

“You must look into your heart.” His ma stroked Consuela’s hair liked she often did his. 

“How can I look into my heart when he has taken it?” 

Marie straightened and took Consuela’s face into her hands. “Adam deserves a wife who gives her whole heart to him without reservation. You alone know if you can do that.”  

Little Joe watched as Marie walked away from Consuela and dropped his head, so he would not be seen. Still, he could hear what his mother said. 

“The money is not a concern. I will bring it to you before next Sunday. Then you must decide.” 

Little Joe could tell that the footsteps were coming closer. He lay flat and still on the porch. Then he heard Hop Sing’s voice call to his mother. Footsteps told him she was headed away from the window. He slipped off the porch and lit out to the barn. 

 

********* 

The stage had been behind schedule when it left, and delay after delay had plagued their return trip. Finally, they pulled into Virginia City. Adam and Hoss grabbed their bags and looked at each other. 

“Think the café is open?” Hoss asked his elder brother. 

“If Mrs. Cantrell is still there, I think she’ll feed us.” Adam replied thinking food would be nice but seeing Consuela would be even better. 

“Then let’s get going, brother. I’m plumb wasting away from hunger.” Hoss clapped Adam on the back, and the two of them set off. 

Entering the café, Adam looked around for Consuela but did not see her. Only two customers sat at a back table, and the rest of the room was empty. Mrs. Cantrell having heard the bell came out from the kitchen. 

“Adam. Hoss. You’re back! Come sit. Come sit. Are ya wanting something to eat?” Mrs. Cantrell greeted the Cartwright brothers warmly. 

“If you are ready to close…” Adam began. 

“Sure am, ma’am. I’m purely starving!” Hoss’s exclamation drowned out his brother. 

“Of course you are, my boy. Is it something special you’ll be wanting?” 

Adam placed his hand on his brother’s arm. Hoss answered quickly. “Whatever ya got in the back would be fine, ma’am. Something back there is sure smelling good.” 

“Chicken stew and biscuits then and some good strong coffee. Still a couple pieces of cherry pie back there too.” 

“Ya sure are an angel, Mrs. Cantrell. Ya just scrape out any pots ya got back there, and we’ll be as happy as pigs in slop.” Hoss grinned from ear to ear and then realized his comparison could be taken wrong. “No offense meant, ma’am, ya know as how I admire your fine cooking.” 

“None taken, young man. I’ll have it out in a jiffy.” 

“Mrs. Cantrell.” The woman looked and saw the question in Adam’s eyes. 

“Things were slow tonight, Adam. I sent Consuela on a few minutes back.” She saw Adam start to rise. “Now you sit yourself back down and eat before you go running after that girl.” Mrs. Cantrell shook her head. “You’ve time. She was headed over to St. Mary’s. That girl spends more time praying. Ya can walk her home while your brother has seconds.” 

Adam did not want to appear ungrateful, and he was hungry. He lowered himself back into his chair. “Yes, ma’am.” He gave Mrs. Cantrel his sincerest smile. 

“Good boy!” Mrs. Cantrell hustled away.  

Hoss gave his older brother a teasing smile. 

“Well, Ma, did raise us to be polite.” Adam chuckled. 

“And ya wouldn’t want Miz Cantrell complaining to her that ya’d been rude, would ya brother?” 

Adam shook his head. “No way I’m answering to Ma for that. No way!” 

Hoss’s deep guffaws drew the attention of the other diners who rolled their eyes at the boisterous young men. Adam managed to control the sudden urge to stick his tongue out at them. He leaned back and smiled. The trip had been profitable, and he had enjoyed Hoss’s company even more than he had anticipated. Hoss was growing into a man whom Adam would have chosen for a friend even if there had been no blood tie between them. Having Hoss for a brother was a blessing he took too much for granted. 

“Well, brother, we had a good trip. Maybe I should take you along more often.” Adam smiled benevolently at Hoss. 

Hoss had learned to read his brother before he had learned to read words. He basked in what he knew was Adam’s praise and affection. 

“Anytime, big brother. I’ll be glad to give ya the benefit of my experience and wisdom anytime.”  

Adam raised his right eyebrow, but the smile remained on his face. “I hope things went as well here.” 

“Now, Adam, Little Joe ain’t one for breaking a promise. I’m sure he behaved himself.” Hoss was quick to defend his brother. 

“Did I mention our baby brother’s proclivity for mischief? Though I do hope he didn’t give Ma many problems.” 

“Now you don’t go digging for trouble. If Ma handled somethin’, ya just let it lie.” 

Mrs. Cantrell came up at that moment bearing an overburden tray of food, so Adam simply nodded and set to work filling his stomach. 

 

********** 

Adam stood at the back of the church. The lamps flickered and the interior was lost in shadows. Adam could just make out the form of Consuela as she knelt before the altar. He watched her there and realized that something empty within him for the past two weeks was suddenly full.  

“Adam.” The voice was soft, but it startled him. Adam turned his head to see that Father Aloysius was standing beside him. 

“Father.” Adam looked into his friend’s eyes. “You asked me- not that Consuela has asked, I don’t think she would- but if the only way to marry Consuela in this church is for me to become a Catholic, well, I’m prepared to do even that.” 

“You have not spoken to her yet?” The priest’s tone was somber. 

“No, I’ve just arrived back from San Francisco. Is there something?” 

“Adam, would you go out and wait for Consuela, please?” 

“But, Father, what… I don’t understand.” 

“Please, my son, I shall send her to you.” 

Adam’s stomach sank, and his chest grew heavy. Something was wrong. The priest turned to walk toward Consuela, and acquiescing Adam walked out of the church and went to sit on a small bench that had been placed under a nearby tree. 

When he saw Consuela walk out of the church, Adam started to rise but found himself frozen with dread. Consuela walked over to him. He took her hands and pulled her down beside him. 

“Consuela…” Adam began, but Consuela placed her fingertips against his lips.  

“I must tell you, let me tell you.” A shudder went through her body. 

“Are you cold. We’ll go inside.” Adams lips moved against her fingers. 

She shook her head. “No, not in the church, let me tell you here. Now, I must tell you now.” 

Adam feared her tone and pressed his fingers to her lips. “First, listen to me. There is nothing that I will let keep us apart. No barrier will keep you from coming to me as my wife. I’ll tear down any obstacle. I love you, Consuela. That’s the only thing that matters.” 

Consuela drew in a deep breath and turned her face away from him. “I will not come to you, Adam. I’m going.” 

“Going, but you love me. I know you love me!” 

“You are the only man I have ever loved.” She turned to look into his eyes. “You are the only man I shall ever love.” 

“Then we will be wed.” Adam spoke with a soft-voiced vehemence that dared opposition. 

Consuelo’s voice had lost its tremble, and she spoke calmly for the first time that night. “Adam, I’m going to the sisters. I am to be a nun.” 

“A nun!” Adam gasped and then sat silently as if he had used his last breath to utter that exclamation. Part of him knew he had lost her irrevocably. Another man, society, the Roman Catholic Church he could fight any of these, but how could he fight God. At last, he managed another word. “When?” 

“Years ago…” Consuela saw the pleading in his eyes and sighed. “Adam when I was fifteen one of the rich sons of a nearby ranchero wanted me. ” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Wanted me the way my father had wanted my madre. I ran from him. I ran to the only safe place I knew. I cried myself to sleep before the altar that night. When the light began to shine through the windows, I woke. I prayed for God to tell me what I should do. Then I saw a sister walk in. She carried flowers to place on the altar. I knew then what God wanted of me.” 

“You were a child. You were scared. I can protect you, Consuela. I will always protect you.” Adam put his arms around her. She did not pull away, but she did not lean into them. 

Consuela simply continued. “I knew, but there was my madre. She had only me, and already the sickness had started within her. When she died, I went to the sisters. I would have entered the convent then but for the dowry.” 

“The dowry. You needed a dowry.” Adam’s anger flared, and he hissed the words. 

“A bride takes a dowry to her husband, and I wished to become the bride of Christ.” Consuela stiffened within his arms, but he did not release her. “I came here to earn that dowry, Adam. Then I met you and your family. I should not have let… I could not keep from loving you.” 

“Then love me!” Adam sprang up and stared down at her. “You have a choice now. You don’t have to run away and hide in a nunnery. Think of what we could have, Consuela. Children, I know you want children. We could have children with dark eyes and curls running into our arms. And they would be laughing, for we would make their childhood so happy. You have that choice.” He took her by the arms and pulled her to him. “Don’t you know that, little love? You have a choice.” 

Consuela raised her hands to his face and held them there. “God brought you to me, so I would know the choice. He would not want a desperate child for His son.” 

“When will you go?” Adam clung to the thought that he would have time to change her mind, for she could not have saved a sum worthy to be called a dowry. 

She stepped back out of his arms. “I leave at the end of the week. Now that you know, I will tell Mrs. Cantrell tomorrow.”  

“But this dowry?” 

“I have the money for the dowry and my passage to the mother house.”  

“How?” 

“A, a…  God has supplied a benefactor who has given me the money.” 

Suddenly too weak to stand, Adam dropped back onto the bench. Consuela dropped to her knees before him. Taking his hands in hers, she brought them to her cheek. “Forgive me, please forgive me.” He felt her tears wash his hands. He did not think he could bear his own pain; he knew he could not bear hers. 

“There is nothing to forgive, little one.” 

She kissed his hand, rose, and walked away into the darkness. 

 

******** 

Hoss had gone first to Consuela’s boardinghouse, but neither Consuela nor Adam was there. Now he walked into St. Mary’s. Seeing Father Aloysius praying at the altar, he walked forward and sat in the first pew. Hearing his footsteps, the priest rose and come to him. 

“Father, have ya seen my brother Adam?”  

“Yes, my son, it was for him that I was praying.” 

“Did something happen? Is he hurt?” 

Father Aloysius shook his head. “Not as you fear. It is not my place to tell you but…”  The priest looked into the eyes of the young man before him. “He will need you. Consuela has decided to become a nun. She told Adam this tonight.” 

“A nun?” Hoss was stunned for only a moment. 

“You know that he wanted to marry her?” 

Hoss knew exactly what this would mean for his brother. He sprang to his feet. “Do you know where he went?” 

“I went to speak to him, but he would not. He was angry. ” The father shook his head gently. “He stormed away.” 

“What did he say, Father?” 

“That this once he would not be the old man. Do you know what he meant?” 

Hoss nodded. “I’ll find him, Father. I’ll get him to the hotel.” Hoss sighed. “Guess tonight it’s my turn to be the old man.” 

Hoss found Adam in the third saloon he searched. His brother was seated at a back table with a half empty bottle of whiskey. Hoss sat down wordlessly. Adam downed another drink. Hoss waited until the bottle was empty, and Adam had passed out. Then he slung his older brother over his shoulders and carried him to his horse. Fifteen minutes later he placed Adam on a bed in the International Hotel. 

 

********** 

Father Aloysius spotted Hoss in the dining room of the International Hotel. He walked over and sat down across from the young man. 

“Can I buy ya some lunch, Father?”  

“No, my son, but you go on and eat.”  

Hoss nodded. He studied the priest’s face for a moment. “He’s upstairs, Father. He was still sleeping when I came down.” 

Father Aloysius gave Hoss a wry grin. “Sleeping it off, did you say now?” 

“So, you heard.”  Hoss looked speculatively at the priest. 

“That you carried him out of the Red Dog sometime after three this morning. I heard. Did he talk to you?” 

Hoss shook his head. “Adam, isn’t one for that kind of talking, but then he didn’t tell me to get my tail home. I’ve been thinking his letting me sit with him is a good sign.” 

The priest motioned to the serving girl. When she came to him, he had her lean down and then whispered instructions into her ear. “I intend to talk with him this morning.” Father Aloysius assured Hoss after she had departed. 

“You’re more than welcome to try, but don’t be put out none if he ain’t to forthcoming with ya. For that matter, you best be ready for some right sharp words. My brother Adam’s got a side ya don’t see often which is good ’cause it’s not a pretty one.” 

“And you see this side when he is hurting?” 

“More he’s hurting the worse it is.” 

The priest leaned back in his chair, and Hoss finished his steak. 

The serving girl returned with a tray and set it on the table in front of the priest. It contained a pot of coffee, a cup, and a tall glass full of unrecognizable liquid. 

Father Aloysius saw the puzzled expression on his companion’s face. “Do you know a good remedy for a hangover?” Hoss shook his head. “Well, I do.”  Father Aloysius indicated the tray. He glanced at his pocket watch. “I think that I’ll be delivering it now. I’ll speak to you before I leave, son. God bless.” 

“Thank you, Father, but I’m feared you’re the one gonna need blessing if you’re gonna try and make big brother drink that.”  

The priest laughed and picked up the tray. He carried it upstairs and knocked on the door of the room the clerk had told him was being used by the Cartwrights. There was no response, but the door was not locked, and he walked in. Adam Cartwright was sprawled on one of the two beds in the large room. Father Aloysius walked over, set the tray on the bedside table, retrieved a chair, and sat down facing the bed. 

“You’re awake, son, so open your eyes.” 

“Don’t wanna.” Adam sounded much younger than the self-assured man that was the usual Adam Cartwright. 

“Adam!”  

Adam opened one eye and peered at the priest. He could not remember the last time a man had said his name in that particular tone. 

“Who let you in?” Adam knew his remark and tone were rude, but then he intended them to be. 

Father Aloysius ignored his comment and picked up the glass from the tray. “Drink this.” 

There was that tone again. Adam raised himself up slightly on his elbows and studied the glass. “No.” 

“I’ve forced medicine down belligerent children before; I can do it again.” The priest’s voice remained firm and parental. 

“I’m not a child, and I bet that’s not a medicine any apothecary would recognize.”  Adam rose to lean his head and shoulders against the headboard. 

“It will do for what’s ailing you, lad. Now drink it down.” Father Aloysius rose and stared down at Adam. He was a tall, broad-shouldered man who had retained a powerful body beneath his cassock despite his fifty years. 

Adam took the glass from the priest’s hand and held it in front of him. “If I get it down, you might end up wearing it.” 

“I’ll take the risk. I’ll not say it again, Adam. Drink it down.” 

Adam told himself his head hurt too much to listen to the priest’s voice again and closed his eyes. Bringing the glass to his lips, he chugged down the foul-smelling brew it contained. He sputtered and thrust the glass back at the priest. “There!” Sinking back onto the pillows, he waited for the world to stop spinning. 

Father Aloysius waited a few minutes. “Feeling better now.” 

Adam hated to admit it, but he was. “What was in it?” 

“Trade secret. I wish to speak with you, lad.” 

Adam’s temper flared. He had alternated between rage and despair since Consuela had walked away from him. God wasn’t here for him to tell off, but Marie was always saying the priest was God’s representative on earth. 

“Talk away; I don’t have to listen.” Adam snapped his words peevishly and rolled onto his side with his back to the priest. 

“How would your father have gotten your attention at this moment?”  

Adam moaned into his pillow. “A pa can take liberties no other man can.” 

“How often have you addressed me as father?” 

Adam rolled onto his back and gave the older man a wry grin. “Have you decided to live up to the term?” 

“You’d be deserving of it if I did.” 

“For being rude or getting drunk?” 

“For forcing your eighteen-year-old brother to get you here.” 

Adam winced. “That was a low blow, Father.” 

“Shall we talk now, Adam?” 

Adam capitulated. He had been lying there considering the fact that he had gone off leaving Hoss to worry, track him down, and carry him out of a saloon when the priest had entered. Though he could not actually remember Hoss carrying him out, he did remember his brother coming into the saloon, and well, one and one added up to two. Adam knew he would feel guilty about that for a long time. 

“Why not? Father, forgive me for I have sinned, am sinning now, and have no intention of stopping anytime soon.” Adam’s statement was a challenge. 

“And what is your sin, my son?”  Father Aloysius remained calm. 

“I lust after a would-be bride of Christ, and if he would come back down here right now, I’d fight him for her.” 

“Is that what you feel for Consuela, Adam?”  

“No.” It was more a moan than a word. “I love her, Father.” Adam buried his face in his hands. 

“And she loves you, Adam. You need never doubt that. She has struggled mightily with her call.” 

“Why does God have to have her, Father? Why does he keep taking people I love?” Adam raised burning eyes to the priest. “Will he stop now? Will he have to have the rest of them too before he’s done? 

The priest knew how many people the young man had already lost. “She…” 

“I know, I know. She’ll be happy. She will be in the Lord’s care. She’s in God’s arms. He’s with the angles, and Heaven’s a beautiful place.” Adam’s voice had grown flat, and his eyes grew distant. Father Aloysius closed his eyes for a moment to shut out the pain he saw in Adam’s face. “I could have made her happy, Father.” Father Aloysius had heard more than his share of despairing voices and recognized the depths of Adam’s anguish. 

“I could tell you that in time I’m sure you will make another woman most happy, but many people will tell you that, and you won’t believe any of them. That is not what I came here to say.” 

“Good,” Adam spat out the word, anger once again boiling in his veins. “I’m not in the mood for platitudes. Whatever it is you came to say, say it, and then get out.” 

“I thought I might help you understand about Consuela.” 

“Oh, I understand, Father Aloysius. She loves God more than me. Can’t fault a girl for loving God, now, can you?” 

“Did Consuela tell you much of her life before she came here?” 

“No, just like she never got around to mentioning that she planned to be a nun.” The anger was clear in Adam’s voice. 

Father Aloysius shifted nervously.  “Adam, I am bound by the seal of the confessional. Nothing Consuela told me as her priest can pass my lips, but…”  He swallowed nervously.  “What she told me as a friend, well…” 

Adam straightened and locked his eyes on the priest’s face.  

“Her vocation was not something she shared lightly, perhaps even she did not realize why.” Adam remained silent, so the priest continued. “She did not tell me of it until she thought she had lost it.” 

“Lost it?” Adam rose to a sitting position. 

“Yes, lost it in her love for you. She desired to be your wife, a part of your family, the mother of your children.” 

“But you and who else were happy to convince her she had a higher calling?” 

“There is no higher calling, Adam, than to be a loving wife and mother. Was not the Blessed Virgin one?” 

“Did you tell Consuela that!” 

“Yes, I did my son. I told her God had forgiven the breaking of much larger promises than that of a frightened little girl.” 

“I should have told her I’d become a Catholic.”  

Father Aloysius shook his head gently, “You could have been baptized by a bishop and confirmed by the Pope, and it would not have changed things.” 

“Why did He let us fall in love?”  

“God’s tests of faith do not always seem fair, my son. You’ve read of Abraham and Job.” 

Adam swung his feet to the floor but did not rise. Instead, he buried his face in his hands. “I think I’m failing this test.”  

Father Aloysius seated himself next to his friend and placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder. 

“Father, do you know why she decide as she did? If you could just tell me that.” Adam spoke with a quiet desperation. “Wasn’t our love enough for her?” 

Father Aloysius reached out and turned Adam’s face to his. “Consuela grew up thinking she was unworthy of love, of happiness, of a life without shame. A dowry is expected, yes, for it helps to keep very poor and desperate girls from making the sisterhood a haven for the destitute, but do you truly believe that the sisters would have turned Consuela away over lack of money. There are always benefactors to be found for those with a true vocation.” 

“So, it would seem,” Adam sneered. 

“Adam, what do you think is the reason Consuela did not enter the convent a year ago?” 

“You tell me, Father.” 

The priest ignored Adam’s rueful tone and replied. “She did not feel truly worthy to be the bride of Christ. She did not until you convinced her.” 

“I convinced her!” Adam bolted to his feet and glared down at the priest. 

“You convinced her she was worthy to be your bride. Anyone worthy to be your wife was worthy of any honor. She heard his call in the night, Adam, and your love gave her the strength to answer it.” The priest rose and caught Adam to his chest. “It is most difficult to be a tool of God, but his Son, the good carpenter that he was, sees that those tools are never tossed away broken.” He released Adam and walked quietly out the door. 

 

********* 

Hoss opened the door and stepped into the hotel room. Adam stood leaning against the window frame watching the road below. 

“Good for you, big brother. Up and about. I brought ya something to eat.” 

“I don’t want any breakfast, Hoss.” 

“Good thing, ’cause this here would be lunch not breakfast.”  

Adam turned to look at his brother and the plate he set on the bedside table. Even from across the room the food looked bland. 

“Father Aloysius said to get ya to eat this and drink some of that coffee, and in an hour or so ya would be fit to ride.”  

“Did he now? What else did the good father tell you?” 

Hoss took a seat in a chair near the bed. “Well, now, last night he told me Miss Consuela was gonna be a nun. This morning, he said he knew a good remedy for a hangover and that the two of you had talked. That pretty much covers it.” 

Adam turned and looked out the window once more. 

“Come try to eat a little. ” Hoss coaxed in the same tone he used to say those words to Little Joe. Adam recognized it and turned walking over and sitting down on the bed.  

Adam’s eyes stared at the floor. “I’m sorry, Hoss.” 

“You’re of age, big brother. You didn’t break no rules; maybe your own drinking record, but I don’t plan to mention that to Ma.” 

Adam gave his brother a rueful smile. “That’s not what I’m sorry for. I, I just left you at the café. I shouldn’t have.” 

“Now don’t start fretting over that. In fact, I’m taking it as kind of a compliment. Now, if Little Joe had been at the café, you would have fetched him home ‘fore ya went off drowning your troubles, so it must mean you’re starting to think of me as able to look after myself.” Hoss grinned. 

Adam raised his right eyebrow. “Only from time to time.” 

“Better than never. Now try eating.” 

Adam looked at his brother. Hoss would wait ready to listen when Adam was ready to talk. Until then. without question, Hoss would just go on being Hoss. His middle brother was better at simple acceptance than anyone Adam had ever known. Adam reached for a slice of toast and nibbled the corner. After a bit he started to bite and chew. He finished the whole slice before Hoss spoke. 

“They say the third time’s the charm, ya know.” 

“Maria Regina? We were children, Hoss.” 

“I know. I also know ya loved her. Ya loved her as much as a boy can love a girl; ya loved Miss Consuela as much as a man can love a woman.” 

“That’s you, Hoss, accept and go on. You, Hoss, not me.” 

“Ain’t saying it don’t take time. Ain’t saying there ain’t a powerful hurt. A broken leg heals iffen ya don’t do anything too foolish and follow doctor’s orders. Takes time and hurts like the blazes. Real bad break may leave ya with a limp or an ache when a storm’s coming, but breaks heal, and ya walk on. May need a hand getting around while you’re healing, but I done proved I can carry ya, now ain’t I?” 

“I don’t exactly remember that, so I don’t have to admit it.” 

Hoss made as if to rise. “I can prove it all over again.” 

“No need, no need.” Adam waved his brother back into his seat. “I’m afraid too many have witnessed that all ready.” If it had been anyone other than Adam, Hoss would have called the color on his brother’s cheeks a blush. 

“Bar was pretty empty. The streets too.”  Hoss offered some comfort. 

Adam sighed and closed his eyes. “What if there isn’t a third time? Some broncs throw you so hard you don’t climb back on. What if I never get back on that horse?” 

“Then we’ll have to wait for Little Joe to give us some nieces and nephews to dangle on our knees.” Hoss smiled, and Adam shook his head slowly then regretted the movement. 

“Adam, we could wait a bit and then get Little Joe from school.” Hoss watched a shadow cross his brother’s face. “I was thinking ya might want to tell him by himself.” 

Did he want to tell Joe and then have to tell it again to Marie Adam asked himself. 

“Joe had a real liking for Miss Consuela. Her leaving’s gonna upset him, and he can get kinda foolish when he’s upset.” 

“So, I should tell him in the middle of nowhere? He knew I planned to marry her; I told him.” 

Hoss spoke very softly. “We talked about being uncles and having a big sister.” 

“Does he want to be an uncle?” 

“What do ya think? He wouldn’t be the littlest Cartwright no more.” 

Adam suddenly realized that Consuela’s leaving would affect his entire family. “We’ll give Joe some company on the way home.” 

“Okay. Now you eat the rest of that while I tell them to bring up a hot bath. Ya can have a long soak and clean up ‘fore we fetch Little Joe and head home.” 

 

********** 

Little Joe sat wondering if his brothers might come home tomorrow or if they might even make it home tonight. Adam had long ago stopped telling his family exact days to expect him back from a trip. Travel was just too uncertain and Marie and Little Joe too prone to worry, so Adam gave no specifics. Little Joe startled as a ruler hit his desk. He looked sheepishly at his teacher. 

“I expect your attention, Joseph Cartwright!” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Perhaps it is time to send a note home with you, young man.” 

Little Joe felt his stomach drop. “I’ll pay attention. There’s no need for a note, ma’am. I’m sorry, ma’am.” Joe gave the teacher one of his most pleading looks. 

“Your last chance, Joseph. Not just your last for today, but your last for the week.” 

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” Negative notes from the teacher were always to be avoided, but Little Joe particularly wanted to avoid being in trouble when Adam came home. He very much wanted his older brother to hear a good report about his behavior while his brothers had been gone.  Joe shoved all thoughts of everything but the teacher’s droning voice from his mind. 

“Class is dismissed.” Little Joe sighed. He had made it. He relaxed in relief as his classmates walked by him. 

“Joe isn’t being kept after, is he, ma’am?” Little Joe jumped up at the sound of his brother’s voice. Turning toward the back of the room he saw both his brothers standing just inside the door. 

“Adam! Hoss!” The serious expression on his eldest brother’s face caused him to blurt out.  “I ain’t in trouble, Adam. I ain’t being kept after.” 

“I was speaking to your teacher, Joe.” Adam chided sternly but with no edge. 

“No, Mr. Cartwright, Little Joe is free to go.” The teacher smiled. She knew that his family kept a very tight rein on Little Joe and had no real desire to bring his brother’s wrath down on the boy. 

Little Joe held his breath and hoped that Adam would not ask the teacher anymore questions. Adam decided that last thing he wanted was a reason to lecture Joe and avoided unearthing one. “Then we’ll be taking him with us. Good day!” He tipped his hat at the teacher and motioned for Little Joe to follow him out the door. Joe grabbed up his things and dashed to Hoss who threw his arm around the boy’s shoulders and walked him out.  

“Good to see ya, Short Shanks.”  Hoss smiled and gave Little Joe a bear hug.  “And good thing ya wasn’t standing in the corner when we did. ” He whispered teasingly into his little brother’s ear. 

“I missed ya, Hoss. Missed ya too, Adam.” Little Joe darted up to his eldest brother and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and his legs around Adam’s waist. Adam toted his brother a few yards and then unhooked his legs and arms.  

“I missed you, little buddy.” Adam reached behind him and pulled Joe around to stand in front of him. “Were you good?” Adam held his breath and hoped for an affirmative answer. 

Little Joe nodded. “It was real hard, Adam, but I kept my promise.” 

Adam smiled. “Thank you, Joe. Now we can all have a comfortable ride home.” He turned Little Joe around.  “Get Cochise saddled and be quick about it.” He gave Joe’s behind a pop that was all sound and no fury. Little Joe laughed and ran to do his brother’s bidding. 

As the three brothers rode toward home, Little Joe chattered in his usual non-stop manner, and Hoss kept him supplied with questions and answers. Joe was surprised when Adam swerved from the road, led them to a small grove of trees, and dismounted.  

“I want to talk to you, little brother.” 

For a moment Little Joe wondered how he could have gotten into trouble but then realized that was not the tone Adam used when starting a lecture or an inquiry. 

“Sure, Adam.”  Little Joe slid off Cochise’s back and walked over to where Adam had seated himself on a large boulder. Joe dropped to the grass in front of his brother. Hoss walked over and leaned against a tree. 

“There’s something I need to tell you, Joe.” 

“Is something wrong?”  

“Not wrong really. It’s just there’s been a, well, a change of plans.” Little Joe looked puzzled but kept silent. “You know I planned to marry Consuela. Well, we won’t be getting married. The thing is, well, she has decided to become a nun.” 

“A nun.” Little Joe shook his head. He had met a few nuns and had been taught by his mother to hold the good sisters in great respect. He thought of these women as a breed apart and untouchable. “Consuela can’t be a nun. Why, you and she have already been kissing.” 

Perhaps he should have used that argument on Consuela Adam thought ruefully. “Actually, that does not preclude her from becoming a nun. She simply has to give up kissing me after she joins the convent.” 

“There ain’t no convent in Virginia City.” Little Joe felt that settled the matter. 

“That’s why she is leaving on Saturday’s stage.”  

“I don’t want her to leave.” 

“Neither do I, Little Buddy. All the same, she’s going.” 

Little Joe jumped up and stared at Adam. “Don’t let her. Tell her she can’t go.” 

Adam stood up and looked down at Joe. “I can’t stop her.” 

“Then I will!” Little Joe whirled and darted toward Cochise. Adam took three strides and reached out his long arm. Encircling Joe’s waist, he gently pulled the boy back to him. 

Little Joe turned in his brother’s arms and titled back his head. “We want her, Adam. She fit so nice with us. Hoss and me was gonna have a sister and be uncles.” 

“I know.” 

Little Joe looked into Adam’s eyes and shuddered. Deep in his memory, he recognized the hollow look he saw there. “You loved her, and she made ya…”  Little Joe searched for the proper words and then spoke too softly for Adam to hear.  “Young again.” 

Adam kneeled to look directly into Little Joe’s eyes. “Joe, you know how when Hoss brings some wild thing home to tend, he always has to take it back and let it go because it belongs somewhere else.” 

“Yeah, but…” 

“Consuela’s going to be a nun because that’s where she belongs. If we try to make her stay, it will only make it harder for her to do what she has to do. Do you understand?” 

“Can I tell her goodbye?” 

“Of course.” 

Hoss spoke for the first time. “I can take ya, Punkin. I want to say goodbye too.” 

“Adam.” Little Joe leaned toward his brother and whispered. “Do ya wish ya hadn’t loved her?”  

Adam shook his head and rose quickly to his feet. He turned and walked toward Sport. Little Joe locked eyes with Hoss who motioned the boy to come to him. Hoss lifted Joe and held him so that their eyes were on the same level. “I didn’t mean to make him hurt.”  Little Joe spoke softly tears filling his eyes. 

Hoss shook his head. “Adam told me once he liked explaining things that were hard to understand ’cause it made him understand them better. He’s gonna be hurting for a while, but we’re gonna tend him just like we do when he’s sick.” 

“Will he be as grumpy as he is when he’s sick?” 

“Well, I ‘spect we’ll be seeing a lot more of the old man.”  

Little Joe sighed, and Hoss set him on the ground. “We’ll go on, and Adam will follow directly.” 

“No, I’ll come with you.” Adam called as Joe and Hoss walked back to the horses. 

Little Joe swallowed. “Adam, can I ask ya one thing about Miss Consuela?” 

“Sure, Joe.” 

“If she belonged with the nuns, why did she come to Virginia City where there ain’t none?” 

Adam gave the simple answer. “She came to here earn a dowry.” 

“What’s a dowry?” 

“Money or property a woman brings to her husband or his family when they marry. Consuela will give hers to the convent.” 

“She done earned a whole dowry already?” 

“Someone gave the money for the dowry to Consuela.”  

Little Joe’s mouth released his thought, before the boy knew he had spoken. “So that’s what Ma meant about bringing her the money.” 

Adam grabbed Joe by his arms and roared. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” 

Little Joe winced and tried to draw back, frightened by the look on Adam’s face. He was too shocked to speak. 

“What did you say about Ma giving her money?” Adam’s voice was ice cold with fury. 

Hoss put a hand on Adam’s arm. “You’re hurting Joe.”  

Adam looked down at his brother as if realizing for the first time what his hands gripped. Immediately he released his hold. “Tell me, Joe.” 

Little Joe bit his lip. He had eavesdropped, and that was against the rules, and Adam was already furious though he really did not understand why. 

Adam fought for control and softened his voice. “I’m sorry I grabbed you, Joe. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m not angry with you. Just tell me what you meant.” 

“I… Consuela was crying, and Ma was talking to her. The window was open, Adam. That’s how come I heard. I didn’t mean to.” 

“Just tell me what you heard.” 

“It was about deciding something and telling you, and I didn’t hear but some of it, but Ma said she would bring her the money. That’s all.” 

Adam’s hands clenched. Then he jerked. Moments later he was on Sport’s back digging his heels into the horse’s flanks. Sport took off at a run. He was not headed toward the ranch house.” 

“Hoss?” 

“I told ya he’s hurting, Punkin.” 

“Am I gonna be in trouble for eavesdropping?” Little Joe’s voice trembled. 

Hoss straightened and then remembered he was being the old man for a while. 

“Now, young’un, you know that’s something ya ain’t supposed to do.”  

“I know.” This time Little Joe’s entire body trembled. 

Hoss put his hand on his little brother’s shoulder, turned him, and landed a firm swat to his backside. “Now, you’ve been punished, so that’s that. If someone says something about it, well, we’ll tell ‘em that the old man’s done took care of it.” 

Little Joe smiled up at his brother even as he rubbed his backside.  

“Let’s go, Joe. Like I said, Adam will come along later.” 

 

*********** 

The only light in the great room came from the blazing fire. Marie had heard the horse arrive in the yard and focused on the door as Adam entered. She studied her stepson as he walked across the floor to stand before the fire. He was not drunk; Marie doubted that he had been drinking at all. 

“There’s food in the warmer if you are hungry.”  

Adam kept his back to Marie. He had known she was sitting there in the dark. “You’ve wasted your time if you waited up to talk to me. I have nothing to say to you.” 

It was after three in the morning. Marie had been considering what she and Adam would say to each other since Hoss had arrived home with Little Joe. “Nothing?” 

Adam’s body went rigid. “Don’t push, Marie. If I said what I want to say, it would be between us forever. I am trying very hard to make it possible for us to go on living in the same house.” 

“Are you considering leaving then?” Marie kept her voice calm. 

“You know I won’t leave Hoss and Joe. I know too well what it feels like to be abandoned.” Adam replied with a sharp emphasis on his final word. 

“Would you have me leave then?” Marie retorted icily. 

This remark brought Adam around to face her. “I would never take away someone my brothers loved!” He spat the words at his stepmother. 

“So, you think I took Consuela away from you? She made her own decision, Adam.” 

“After you ever so helpfully gave her the means to leave me without delay. Tell me, Marie, how many years have you saved yourself in purgatory by sending Consuela to your God?” 

Marie’s temper flared at his derisive tone. “Is he no longer your God, Adam? A son of mine will not speak that way of the Lord.” 

“I’m not your son, though, am I, Marie?” 

She took two halting steps toward him. “Adam.” She reached out her hand beseechingly. 

His eyes burned into hers. “You would not have done this to your son. If it had been Little Joe who loved…” 

For the first time in his life, Marie’s hand slapped Adam’s face. He stared at her in shock. “You will not say such a thing to me. Never! I do not care how angry you are, you will not say I love you less than Joseph.” 

“Don’t you?”  

She had not seen that look in his eyes for so many years that she had fooled herself into thinking his fear was gone. 

She reached out and cradled his face in her hands. “I love you; you are my son. Nothing can change that not even you.” 

“Then why?” 

Knowing he was now ready to listen, Marie drew him to the settee. They sat there for a moment, and then she began. 

“Your father told me that your mother turned down three proposals before she accepted his. Inger also chose Ben over others. Did she not?” 

Adam nodded and waited to hear where Marie was leading him. 

“Do you think that if I had but wanted a rich man to take me away from my life in New Orleans that there were not other choices for me?” 

“I know you loved my father. I’ve always known how much you and Pa loved each other. I thought you knew that I love Consuela that way. And she loves me; I know she loves me!” 

“I am not speaking of loving. I speak of choosing. Your father knew that each of his loves had come to him without reservation, had chosen him and a life with him above all else. I would have no less for his son. The money allowed her to choose freely. If she had chosen to be your wife, you would both have known that. It would have been enough to get you through the bad times.” She saw the look that passed over his face. “Yes, between two people there are always the bad times. If she did not choose freely, it would have grown between you.” She paused to study his face. “Tell me, my son, would you have me take the money from her?” 

Adam jerked. “You couldn’t do that!” 

“There are many things I could do. Many things you could do that would prevent Consuela from entering the convent. Would you force her to come to you? Do you want her any way you can get her?” 

Adam dropped his head and shook it slowly. “No. You know I wouldn’t want it that way.” 

“That is the why of it then. I know my son does not settle for being the second best. He does not make those he loves take the second best.” 

The flames cast light and shadows over his face, but his despair showed through. “It hurts so much, Ma.” 

“Oui, mon cher. You must let it out.” 

For the first time in his life, Adam Cartwright buried his face in his Marie’s skirts and sobbed. 

 

********** 

He stood in the shadows at the rear of the church and watched her pray. When she crossed herself and started to rise, he slipped out and waited for her to exit. She saw him there leaning against a tree and went to him. 

“There’s going to be a crowd at the stage depot to give you a proper sendoff: Marie, Hoss, Little Joe, Mr. and Mrs. Cantrell, Father Aloysius.” He counted off the names on his fingers. Then Adam straightened and looked down into Consuela’s eyes. “I wanted to say goodbye here. I knew you’d come before you left.” 

“Adam, I…” 

“I know it’s goodbye, Consuela. There’s no more to say about that.” 

Her eyes dropped from his, and she turned to open the carpetbag she had placed beside her. 

“Is that all your taking?”  

She turned back towards him with a something in her hand. “I must surrender all private possessions at the convent. I asked Mrs. Cantrell to give away what people can use. Some things I’m leaving with others, so they might remember me.” 

“The people here will need no reminders, Consuela. We will remember you with our hearts.” 

She smiled pensively. She held out her hand.  “I need to give this back to you.” 

He reached out and took the derringer from her with an ironic grin. “Is it loaded?” 

“No.” 

Adam shook his head. “If you had gone after another one like Buck Canton with an unloaded gun, I would have paddled you good.” 

Her eyes sparkled, and his breath caught in his throat. 

“Adam, make me a goodbye promise.” Her tone was light, and her smile teasing. 

“Just what would you have me promise, girl? 

“Sometime when you are most angry with Little Joe and are about to give him the thrashing you know he so richly deserves, think of me and don’t.”  

“Just once?” He raised his right eyebrow. 

“At least once.” She replied while gazing at him through lowered lashes. 

“I promise.” Adam used his pointer finger to trace a cross above his heart. 

“And Hoss?” 

“You don’t have to ask for Hoss.” 

“I don’t?” 

“Not anymore. He’s too grown.” 

She smiled, and he quickly dropped his eyes from her face. 

“What will you be doing after you become a nun?” 

“The sisters run hospitals, and schools, and missions. After I learn to be a good nun, I’ll go to one.” 

“Marie said once you would be a good teacher.” He saw her bite her lip when he said Marie’s name. “I know Marie is your benefactress, Consuela. We’ve settled it between us.” 

“Since I have no family, and she is my benefactress, I shall be allowed to write to her.” 

“Every day?” 

“Three times a year.” Consuela’s head bent as she studied her hands. Adam reached out and touched her hair. 

“They’ll cut off your hair.”  

“To root out vanity.” 

Adam thought that with the headwear he had seen on nuns from the East there was probably a more practical reason than banishing vanity. “You’ll take a new name.” 

“When I take my final vows, Adam, Consuela Soledad will cease to be.” 

“How long before your final vows?” 

“I shall be a postulate for six months, and then I take vows to remain a novice for a year, then I become a bride of Christ.” 

“And you can leave while you’re a postulate or at the end of your novitiate?”  He searched her eyes.  

She looked directly into his. “Don’t wait for me, Adam.” 

“I won’t wait, Consuela, but I take time and do some things very slowly. Ask Hoss. It will take me a year and a half at least.” He had told her. It was all he could do. 

“I have to go.”   

Adam reached out and held her cheek in his hand. “I told Little Joe you didn’t have to stop kissing until you took your vows. He’ll expect a goodbye kiss.”  He leaned closer.  “So will Hoss.”  He bent his head to hers. “And so do I.” 

He kissed her gently and then whispered into her ear. “Goodbye, little love.” He turned from her, and she held her breath as she watched him walk away from her but not from the church. She smiled through her tears as he entered St. Mary’s. 

 

 

Author’s Note: NOTE: In this AU it was Marie Cartwright who lived while Ben Cartwright died.  It was written in response to a challenge by Ellie248, and I thank her for the inspiration.