Summary:  The bond between brothers is strong, but is it as strong as Hoss believes?
Rating:  G (8,500 words)

Through the Mist

By Vicki Christian

I sat bolt upright in bed and took a deep breath.  It was still dark but somethin’ had woken me.  Pa and my brothers would say it was my own snoring, but I know’d it was the dream again; the dream I’ve bin havin’ for nigh on two weeks now.  First I could only remember the fear but slowly as it repeated each night more of it came back to me when I woke up. I know’d I wouldn’t get back to sleep again tonight so I started dressing in the half-light from the moon.  I peered outta my window at the yard, nothing was moving and the night was clear, not like in my dream.  In my dream I was riding through a thick mist and it was cold.  I didn’t know why I was out in such weather, or what I was searching for but I knew I had to find something.  Each night the search grew longer and my panic got worse.

I headed downstairs to the kitchen and quietly stirred the fire in the cook stove to life and put on water for coffee.  I was about to raid the pantry for a snack when soft footfalls behind me made me turn around.

“What you do in my kitchen?”

Hop Sing, our cook, could make me feel like a guilty kid even if I was over six feet tall and weighed in at more than three hundred pounds.

“Nuthin’ Hop Sing.  Just couldn’t sleep, wanted coffee.”

“Huh, coffee on stove, not in pantry.” He padded over to the pantry door and shooed me away.  “I make breakfast after you do chores.”

“Aw, it’s too early for chores.  Ain’t ya got just a bit of pie.”

He took pity on me, as I know’d he would, and cut me a slice of apple pie to go with the coffee.  I wandered into the big room and sat myself in the blue velvet chair.  Don’t know why I sat there.  Adam’s chair was how I always thought of it, just as the red leather one was Pa’s.  Joe and me, we sat on the sofa or where ever there was space.  Sometimes if Pa was in a good mood, Joe would sit on the table, cross-legged like a pixie.

I sure wish I could figure out that dream.  I ain’t getting much sleep and I know I ain’t doing my share of the work.  Adam was being smart about it yesterday and I’m in such a bad temper that Joe’s avoiding me.  I hear a door shut quietly upstairs and footsteps along the hallway.  I looked upwards and Pa was coming around the bend in the stairs fastening his shirt cuffs.

“Morning, son.  Couldn’t you sleep again?

I shook my head and sipped my coffee.  “Might as well get ahead on the day.”

Pa always treats us like kids and today was no different. He came over and put a hand to my forehead, which I pushed away.  “I’m fine, Pa. Don’t fuss.”

Shoulda known he wouldn’t take that. He frowned at me and continued to try to check if I was hot.

“I am your father and I’ll fuss, as you put it, if I choose. If you don’t get some sleep soon then you’re heading in to see Paul.”

I pushed to my feet and headed for the stairs.  “I ain’t sick.”

I was paying attention to Pa and almost bumped into my older brother who was coming down the stairs.

“That’s good to hear, since you are supposed to be coming to Nevada City with me next week to pick up those mares.”

I snapped back at him, “I’ll be there, don’t fret,” and pushed past him to go and dress.  I felt rather than saw the look that passed between him and Pa.

I did my work okay, but I knew I was touchy and that my brothers were avoiding me.  Little Joe had tried several times earlier in the week find out what was wrong but I had brushed him aside and now he was wary of saying anything.  I hated it when I was at odds with either brother, because it didn’t happened often.

Friday night came and things weren’t no better.  I know’d my brothers were going in to town to a social but neither had asked if I was going.  I guess they figured that I was gonna be poor company and they didn’t want me along.  Well that suited me just fine.  I’d go alone and have a few drinks.  Maybe a whisky or two would help me sleep. Though I’d been nipping at Pa’s brandy and that hadn’t done much except give me a headache come morning.  My dream had moved on a little, I now saw a cliff the way you’d see it if’n you was on a ship. I heard a noise that sounded like the cry of a seagull but it didn’t mean anything. We was hundreds of miles from the sea and the nearest gulls were over Lake Tahoe and there sure weren’t no cliff there like the one I saw in my dream.  The thing that scared me most was the cold clammy mist and the fear in my belly as I rode.  The dream was so regular and so real that I couldn’t forget it even during the day.

I waited until my brothers had left for town then took the back stairs and made my way out to the barn. I didn’t want Pa to question me.  It made me feel like a kid sneaking out when I had no business to.  I saddle Chubby and took comfort in the closeness we had.  He was solid and reliable and wouldn’t let me down, we’d been through too much together.  I left him with Lafe at the livery stable.  He’d have Cochise to keep him company but Sport was nowhere to be seen. For a moment I wondered who big brother was visiting tonight, but soon forgot him as I drowned my sorrows in a whisky bottle.  I ain’t usually much on whisky but tonight I hoped it would blot out that dadblasted dream.

I could hear voices but they sounded far away and I felt real sick.  I couldn’t see nobody, just the mist, that goldarn mist again.  Slowly my senses came back to me and I wished they hadn’t.

“C’mon Hoss you gotta help yourself a bit.  You’re too heavy for us to carry.  You gotta get on Chubby by yourself.”  Joe’s voice seemed to be inside my head.

“You’re gonna have to get Adam.  I can’t lift him and anyways I need to get home before my Pa comes lookin’ for me.  Its almost dawn.”  Mitch Devlin’s voice sounded anxious and a mite frustrated.

“I ain’t going nowhere near Adam.  He’d kill me if I fetched him from… well from where he is.”  I heard Joe finish.

I tended to agree with my little brother.  Hauling Adam out of bed in the early hours of the morning wasn’t a good idea under any circumstances.  Hauling him out of the particularl bed where I suspected he’d spent last night was likely to get us both killed. I made a supreme effort and managed to grab a hold of Chubby’s saddle horn.  It took several attempts and a lot of pushing and shoving by Joe and Mitch but finally made it into the saddle.

I don’t recall too much of the ride home but I do remember Pa yellin’ somethin’ awful when we got there.  He musta bin pacing the floor all night, ‘cos he was fully dressed.  I’d stayed out all night before so I guess it was Joe he was worried about. He sure went on a lot about me and Adam being responsible for our little brother.  My head was pounding and I was pleased when he shook his head in exasperation and pointed to the stairs.

“Go sleep it off.” He growled.  “But don’t think you’re missing out on your chores.”

Joe helped me to my room and then let me collapse on the bed.  He pulled off my boots but left me fully dressed and didn’t even put the quilt over me.  I don’t remember anything else until I woke up feeling cold and with a sore head.  The sun was high in the sky so I guessed I’d slept for maybe seven or eight hours.  My head might be hurting but at least I hadn’t dreamed that dadblasted dream again.

I staggered out to the barn, not even stopping by the kitchen.  I was feelin’ real sick and didn’t want to see food, let alone eat anything. Now anyone as knows me will tell ya that if I ain’t eatin’ them I’m sick.

Adam was working at the forge and he looked up as I came up to him.  “You feeling any better?” he asked.  “Joe told me what happened and Pa sure let me know. I wish you two would stay out of trouble, puts Pa in such a bad mood and we had to do the account books this morning.  I got my head chewed off more than once.”

“I ain’t ask’d ya to look out for me.  You bin messin’ in my life since I was a kid.”  I snarled at him.

I glanced at him and saw that his eyes had narrowed and his lips thinned in anger. I guess it was uncalled for and I was a mite short with him, but I felt trapped.  As always when he was trying to control his temper Adam went quieter and his words were carefully chosen and spoken with controlled fury.  Pa did the same when he was real angry, I guess Adam had gotten it from him.

“Pardon me for breathing.  You might thank Joe though.  He got a lecture too and he was only helping.”

Adam turned away from me and headed for the door almost colliding with Joe.  “I’d stay outside in the clean air, if I was you.  It’s kinda chilly in there.”

Joe frowned and turned his head to watch our older brother stride across the yard to the house.

“You two have a fight?”  he queried.

I shook my head but didn’t offer any explanation.  My little brother shrugged and went about his chores in silence.  It felt uncomfortable to be at odds with both brothers but somehow I felt a need to be alone.  I quietly saddled Chub and rode out to the lake.  It usually helped but today there was no peace anywhere.

For the next couple of days things only got worse.  I slept very little and when I did the dream came back.  My temper didn’t improve and both brothers avoided me, even Pa tried to leave the room when I appeared.  Finally, Pa took me to task.  He cornered me in the barn as I was talking to Chubby.

“You get any answers from him?”  he asked, quietly.

I was so far away that Pa’s voice made me jump.  “Uh…?”

“I asked if you got any answers to your problem from Chub, here,” Pa repeated as he laid a hand on Chub’s mane and patted him.

“What problem?”  I asked, trying to avoid looking at him.

“The one that’s making you sleepless and bad tempered,”  Pa replied.

“It ain’t nuthin’, Pa.  Just leave me be.”

Pa nodded and drew a thoughtful breath then turned away.  “I’m sending Joe with Adam to Nevada City.  I want you to stay here and tend to the chores.”

“Uh…”  I grunted in surprise.  “Why?  There ain’t nuthin’ wrong with me. I dun told ya that.  Told Adam too but he don’t listen.”

“Nevertheless, that’s what I’ve decided.  I’ll not have you and Adam at odds on the trail. Winter’s coming on and it’s a long ride.  If you’re arguing or ignoring one another you won’t be watching out for each other.”

I started to argue with him, but he gave me that look of his and I knew he wasn’t about to change his mind.  So now I had another thing to blacken my mood.  Instead of a quiet ride in the mountains I was going to be stuck here doing my brothers’ yard chores.  I was certain sure that Adam had put Pa up to this and I was angrier than ever at my older brother.

In a way I was relieved when my brothers rode out on Monday morning.  Now I could concentrate on doing chores and not feel that I was being watched all the time.  It would take them two days to made Nevada City and probably three or four coming back with the stock.  Pa saw them off with a long list of warnings and instructions. If I hadn’t been so doggone tired I would have laughed at the way Adam only half listened and Joe paid no attention at all.  A week on my own sure looked good.

As the week wore on I relaxed.  The dream seemed to have gone away and my sleep improved. Pa and I played a few games of checkers after supper and things got back to normal.  Friday night Pa asked if I was going into town but I told him it weren’t much fun on my own.  It was the first time that week that I had admitted to missing my brothers and Pa smiled.  I guess he figured all would be well when they got back.

“They’ll be back Monday, I’ll be bound and you’ll have to put up with Joe bragging about the new mares and what a good judge of horseflesh he is.”

I nodded and got up to poke at the fire.  The flames danced in front of me and for a moment I was drifting away.  Then Pa spoke again.

“Want another game of checkers then?  I ought to let you get your revenge for last night.”

The wind had been increasing all day and I shivered in spite of the warmth from the fire.  “No thanks, Pa.  I think I’ll have an early night, I got a bit of a headache.”  Funny I hadn’t noticed it until I said it.

I headed upstairs and settled into bed.  Outside the wind howled and the window rattled.  I glanced at the night sky but it was clear, maybe too clear.  It was gonna be real cold up in those mountains and for the first time I was glad that Adam had taken Joe ‘stead of me. Despite the wind I soon drifted off to sleep.  I don’t know how long I slept before it started. I was in a cold swirling mist again and that cry was there.  I woke up with sweat pouring off me and I threw back the covers.  I walked to the window and stared out, usually this made the dream begin to fade, but tonight it was still there in my head; the cold mist, the seagull cry and something else, a nagging fear.

It was still dark outside but I dressed and made my way downstairs.  I was packing supplies into a bag when Hop Sing found me.  I had obviously woken him from a deep sleep but he was no less noisy than usual.

“You get out my kitchen.  You bad boy, steal food.”  He started carrying things back to his storeroom.

I was in no mood to deal with an angry cook but I stopped what I was doing and caught his arm.  “I’m not stealing nuthin’, Hop Sing.  I’m packing for a trip.”

His eyes narrowed, “Where you go?”

His words surprised me.  Until that minute I hadn’t thought about where or why I was doing this.  I just knew I had to go somewhere.  Pa must have heard the noise because he poked his head around the door.

            “Just because you can’t sleep that’s no reason to wake the whole house.”  He grumbled.  “What’s this about a trip?”

“I’m going after Adam and Little Joe.”  I replied.  “I’m worried about ‘em.”

Pa looked up in surprise, “Why?  They aren’t due back for another day at least maybe two.”

“I jus’ got this feelin’ Pa.  It ain’t nuthin’ I can show ya.  Me and Adam well we kinda know when t’other one is in trouble.  Kinda like when we was kids.”

Pa smiled,  “Yes, I remember.  When Adam was in trouble you used to try to make excuses for him and he used to chase off after you when he thought you might be.”

I nodded, grinning, “An’ we both know when Little Joe’s up to somethin’.”

This time Pa laughed, “You mean because he usually is.”

“Pa, I jus’ wanna ride up in the mountains, maybe its nuthin’ but I need to know.”

Pa sighed.  “Alright, but if you meet up with them and there is no problem, you’d better hightail it back here fast.  Your chores will be waiting.”  He was tryin’ to look stern but I could tell he wanted me to go now as much as I did.

“I’ll meet up with ‘em  and we’ll get right back, Pa.  Be home before you know it.”  I was already half way out the door as I spoke.

Once on the trail I don’t think Chubby and I have ever rode so fast.  We covered the trail up to Truckee in record time and put up overnight at the trading post.  I didn’t want to stop at all but at this time of year it’s too risky to travel far at night in the mountains.  If Pa’s estimate was right Adam and Joe should be coming down that trail tomorrow.  In fact I had half expected them to be at the trading post drinking and having a hand of poker, but they wasn’t.

I didn’t have no nightmare but I was still restless and on my way as dawn broke.  It sure is a pretty sight over the mountains.  I was so busy watching the sun come up to the east that it weren’t until I turned to start to climb up to the pass that I  really looked to the west at all.  The sky over that way was grey and there weren’t no mountains.  That’s right they just wasn’t there.  The clouds was real low and I could see nuthin’ beyond the next turn in the trail. I climbed higher and higher expectin’ to meet those darn brothers of mine at every turn but the trail was deserted.

I stopped to rest Chubby about halfway up to the pass and looked back expectin’ to see Donner Lake below but it was gone shrouded in mist. I looked back up at the mountain.  No it wasn’t mist it was snow, fast falling, fine snow, blown on the wind until it was almost horizontal and it was sweeping down the mountain to swallow me up.  Before I could re-mount I was in the middle of a blizzard, the temperature had dropped in minutes.

I decided not to re-mount and began walking slowly forward leading Chubby.  We had gone maybe half a mile when I looked up and there it was, my nightmare.  A cliff shrouded in mist; only know I knew it was snow.  The dream had been so vivid that this place looked familiar.  I could make out the same ledges and gullies, even the sparse shrubs were the same.  This was the place I had dreamed about all them nights.   I listened, at first there was nothing then I heard it; the cry of a gull or was it the wind in a crevice?  It sure was eerie.

I put my cupped hands to my mouth and called  “Hallooo… is anyone there?”  Chubby looked at me as if I was loco. We understood each other, me and old Chub and he musta thought I’d done lost my mind calling out when there weren’t no one there.  I waited but there was no answer, just the wind and that cry again.  I looked in the direction of the cry.  It was below me and away to my left.  I stared into the driving snow until I was like to blind myself.  Then I saw it, a faint dark shape moving on a ledge, maybe ten feet below me.  I moved closer to the edge above where I had seen the movement and my stomach heaved.  It was a horse, dark against the snow and barely moving.  I dropped to the ground and leaned over, a sorrel, that much I could tell.  Was it Sport, my brother’s gelding?  It had no saddle but that didn’t mean much, he could’ve unsaddled him to camp or he could’ve been riding one of the mares that he and Joe had gone to collect.

I explored the terrain with my eyes as best I could but there was no way I could reach the animal without a rope and the only way to tether a rope was to Chubby’s saddle.  That was far too risky for both Chub and me just to check out a horse.  I moved back to the trail and drew my rifle from its scabbard.  I levered a shell into the chamber and took aim.  If it was poor old Sport then at least I could end his pain and if it wasn’t then I was helping another animal.  The shot echoed around the mountain, throwing itself against the cliff and coming back at me.   In the silence that followed I thought I heard a different cry.  This one was no gull, this was a human being and one in trouble.  I listened hard and the cry came again.   Not far from the now dead horse, but lower down into the canyon.  I leaned over again but I could see nothing the snow made it impossible to make out anything more than ten or twelve feet from where I stood. All I knew was that down there somewhere below me was another person in trouble and I was sure that it was one of my brothers.

I wouldn’t have risked my life or Chubby’s for a horse but a man and a brother was different.  I moved my horse to the far side of the trail where it was sheltered and told him to stand. I took my lariat and tied it to the saddle horn, checking everything very careful.  Then I took a second rope, I’d brought it with me without thinking, and tied it to a pine growing close to the edge.  With the one rope tied around my middle and the other in my hands I slowly began to lower myself over the edge.  Painstakingly, I inched my way toward the dead horse on the ledge below and I was relieved when I reached secure footing without a problem.  I quickly examined the poor animal to make sure it was dead and was further relieved to find that it wasn’t Sport, but a pretty sorrel mare with a white blaze.  Two other mares were lying dead not far from her.

Standing firm on the ledge I called again and my spirits lifted when not only was there an answer but the voice was one I knew and loved.

“Is that you, big brother?”  Little Joe’s voice sounded shaky and its echo faded quickly.

“Who else would come lookin’ for ya in this weather.” I yelled back trying to make my voice steady and comforting.  “Where are you?”  I yelled again and then more quietly,  “Is Adam with ya?”

The answering shout was stronger.  “Yeah, he’s here but he’s hurt.  We’re about twenty feet down on a ledge but its crumbling away.”

I didn’t stop to ask more.  I started to climb toward his voice, calling out every few minutes to check that I was still headed for them.  It could only have been maybe fifteen minutes but it seemed like a lifetime as I worked my way toward my brothers.  I wanted to hurry but I knew that out here in this weather I was their only hope and if I got myself hurt or killed then they would die too.  I worried about how bad Adam was hurt but didn’t waste breath asking.  I would need all my strength to get them back to the trail. The ledge was about three feet wide at its narrowest point and widened to about five feet in places.  It ran along the side of the ravine for maybe a hundred feet.  Joe was crouched beside Adam about thirty feet from where I had landed.  I had to undo both ropes to reach them.  To have left them tied to me would have scraped them across rocks and risked cutting the rope that meant safety for all of us.

I inched along the ledge.  I’m a big guy and it wasn’t easy as at every step I feared the ground would go from under my boots and I’d be hundreds of feet down before I could stop my fall.

Joe motioned to the ropes hanging over the edge. “Guess we’re in this together now big brother. Sure is good to see you, though.”

I nodded and knelt beside Adam.  He had a nasty gash on his forehead and his left arm was twisted and I suspected broken.  He was barely conscious and didn’t seem to notice I was there.  I felt his face and it was like ice.

“I didn’t move his arm, Hoss.  I had nothin’ to splint it with so I figured it was best to leave it.”

“How long you bin here?”  I asked, rubbing Adam’s cheeks to try to warm them.  I needed him conscious if we were going to get him out of here.

Joe seemed to gain confidence from my presence though Lord knows why.  I was not at all sure we were going to get out of this alive.  “Happened last night.  The snow started and I talked Adam into pushing on to try to make Truckee.  The light was fading and the snow got worse.  We were walking and leading the horses.  The mares were on a string and one went over the edge and took two others with her.  Adam managed to cut the rest free but he got pulled over too when the rope caught him.  Then I let go of Cooch’s reins.”  He stared at the ground.  “I guess my yelling scared her and she and Sport and the other three mares made off.  I didn’t have a rope or anything to reach Adam so I just climbed down.”  He shook his head, “I know it was a stupid thing to do but I needed to know if he was okay and I didn’t think about getting back up.”

I looked up and gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile,  “I’da done the same shortshanks.  Let’s not worry about it now, just help me get him outta here and back to a warm bed.”

Together we worked on Adam until his eyes flickered and he let out a moan.  “Hey, that’s better.  C’mon older brother, we need to get out of here.”  There was nothing to make a splint for his arm, so I took off my belt and his own and strapped his arm to his side. It weren’t the best way but it would have to do until we got up to the trail.

He didn’t speak while I worked but I could see him gritting his teeth against the pain.  “Yell iffn you want, there ain’t no one to hear ya but us,”  I told him.

Bein’ Adam he ignored me and made no sound other than a slight groan as I tightened the belts.  “Can ya manage to stand?”  I asked him.

He nodded.  “I’ll manage.”  He grunted.

“Joe you lead the way back to the ropes.  I’m gonna need to steady him.”

I supported Adam on his good side and gradually we made it back along the ledge.  There weren’t much room for me and with Adam alongside me I could hear the stones rattling down into the canyon as the edge gave way a bit more at each step.   We finally got to where the ropes were hanging and I looked up.  “Joe there ain’t no way you can hold him.  You’ll have ta go up and work with Chub.  He’ll back up for ya and I’ll bring Adam up.”

Adam glanced at me and through the pain I saw a little of his dry sense of humor surface.  “Do I get a say in this?”

I grinned at him, “Nope.”

The snow hadn’t eased much and the climb back to the top was dangerous.  Not only was Joe the lightest but he was the most agile.  I knew Chub wouldn’t move and that tree was holding the second rope real firm.  With a rope tied to his middle and another to haul on he’d be as safe as I could make him.

The first part was done real easy ‘ceptin’when Joe disappeared from view and we had to wait for his shout to say he had reached the top.  Then the hard work began.  I hadn’t figured out how to haul Adam up yet.  Two of us tied to a rope would be too heavy for even Chub to haul on and if I tied one around each of us then Joe would have to take the weight of one of us if we slipped.  I made a decision and but kept it to myself.  Adam would surely argue and he was drifting in and out of consciousness, he didn’t need no more worry.  I tied Chubby’s rope to Adam, that way I was sure Joe could haul him up if anything happened.  The other I tied around my waist, it might save me if I fell but it was doubtful, the rocks were sharp and slipping would mean I would be banged against ‘em until the rope held.

I careful lifted Adam until he was pretty much over my right shoulder and then I wrapped my arm around him and grasped the rope that held me to the tree above.

“Joe …” I yelled.  “Take up the slack on Chub’s rope as we come up but don’t pull on it.”

An answering yell came back.  Joe musta figured we were both tied to Chub’s rope or he would have fought me.  I began to climb using my left hand to haul myself up on any handholds I found and steadied myself with my right hand on my rope when I could or when I needed to rest.  Slowly but surely we made the first ten feet and then a bit further and we were back to the ledge where the dead horse lay.

“Joe…”  I called again and then saw his face shrouded in snow staring at me from above.  I grinned encouragingly although my arms ached and my head was swimming.  “Take up the slack on both ropes and re-tie ‘em.  I’m gonna rest a bit.”

He looked worried but went out of sight to do as I asked. I felt both ropes pull taut again and felt a bit better.  I knelt down beside my older brother, his skin felt ice cold to the touch and his lips were blue.  I rubbed his face and hands again to restore the circulation and wrapped my own scarf around his face covering it as best I could.    Rested a little, I started to climb again.  I was within maybe three or four feet of the ledge when my foot slipped and I lost my hold.  Joe had been hauling in the slack on Chubby’s rope so Adam was left hanging just below the ledge but my rope had maybe ten feet of slack and I felt every foot as I fell and banged against the rocks.  I felt the tremendous jerk as the rope went taut and thank God it held, but I was left dangling in mid air with no way of gaining the cliff again.

I heard Joe shout but I didn’t have the breath to yell back straightaway.  His shouts became frantic and I hauled in a painful breath and replied.  “I’m okay, Joe.  Back up Chubby and haul Adam up first.”

I’d said ‘first’ but I had no idea how he was going to get me out of here.  My rope was tied to the tree it would probably hold me but there was no way my little brother could haul my weight up alone and he’d have to untie the rope to fasten it to Chub’s saddle.  Was I going to hang here in space until I froze to death or would it be better to ask Joe tocut the rope. I wish I was like Adam, he’d a thought it all out before he got hisself in this mess.

Above me Adam’s dark shape slowly disappeared but I heard him cry out a couple of times before Joe’s reassuring shout.

“I’ve got him Hoss, he’s okay.”

I yelled back that I’d heard and concentrated on trying to swing myself closer to the cliff face in the hope that I could grab on to something and get a foothold, but it was impossible.

The snow cleared a little and Joe’s anxious face appeared above me.  “Don’t move Hoss, the rope’s fraying.”  His voice was high pitched and I could tell it must be bad from his expression.

I stopped moving and considered my position, it sure wasn’t a good one. Above me I heard Adam call out to Joe.  Little brother was torn between us and didn’t know which to listen to, so I waved him away from the edge, “Go see to Adam first.”

Moments later a second rope snaked over the edge, it had a noose around the end and fell near enough for me to catch it.

“Put it under your arms and tighten it if you can.”  Joe yelled.  “It’s tied around Chub’s saddle and to a tree.   Adam says to get it all set first then I’ll untie it so Chub can back up.”

I did as he said and thanked God for my quick thinking older brother; but could Chub haul my weight when there was no way I could help myself.  I signaled that I was as ready as I was ever gonna be and felt the rope yanked from above before I fell, maybe, another three feet then it held me with another rough jerk.  Slowly I was pulled up the cliff face and as I got closer to the top I was able to grab hold of some scrub and help myself the last few feet.  I scrambled exhausted on to the trail and just lay there gasping for breath.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Joe tending to our older brother.  He had wrapped him in my blanket, ground sheet and slicker, it was all we had until we could get him down to Truckee.  I recovered fairly quickly and cut some branches to make a splint for his arm and then we got him on to Chubby.

“Joe you get up behind him and steady him.”  I ordered in my best older brother manner.  I ain’t so good at givin’orders as Adam.

“What you gonna do, walk?”  he asked.

“Yeah, I ain’t bin out here as long as you, I’m rested.”

He looked at me scornfully and was about to argue.  “ We ain’t got time for fussin’ Joe, we gotta get Adam back someplace where we can warm him up or he’s gonna lose fingers and toes.”

Joe nodded.  “Okay, but if you get tired you gotta change places with me.”

“Sure,” I agreed, knowing that it would be a bad day before I’d risk my little brother’s life for mine.

We made our way slowly down the trail as the snow continued to blind us at each turn.  After an hour or so my legs felt like lead and I was hanging on to Chub’s bridle more for my own sake than to lead the horse.  In some places the snow was now deep enough to make Chub founder and once or twice Joe nearly lost his hold on Adam.

“Stop for a minute, Joe.  I want to check on older brother.”  Truth be told I needed to catch my breath too, but there was no sense worrying Joe.

Joe brought Chub to a halt and swung down.  Together we rubbed Adam’s hands. I didn’t like the way the fingers of his left hand were turning white.  It hurt him for me to touch that arm but we had to restore the circulation or he’d lose his fingers.

“Yell out, iff’n you want brother, but stay awake and keep talking to us,”  I urged him.

He gave a low moan.  “It isn’t that bad or wouldn’t be if you’d just stop pummeling me,”  he accused, pushing me away with his good arm.  “I can move the fingers, but they feel numb.”  He glanced at me. “Not good, is it?”

There weren’t no point in lying to him, he knew what frostbite could do as well as I did.  “No, it ain’t good, but we’ll be in Truckee in an hour or so.  We’ll get you warm then.”

He gave me a small wry smile, “Always the optimist.  You know it’s going to take longer than that.”

I returned the smile, “Always the gloomy one, ain’t ya.  This is my horse you’re riding, not your old nag.”

He laughed softly.“Bet my old fella, is in a warm barn somewhere out of this weather.”

Joe joined in our laughter, “Cooch too, I’m gonna have a few words to say to that horse, goin’ off and leavin’ me afoot.”  He suddenly became serious.  “You get up behind him, Hoss, I’ll walk…”

“Dang it, Joe.  I dun toldya that I was fitter’n you for walking.”  I protested.

“Yeah, well maybe you were, but you aren’t now.  Anyhow, it will help me keep warm for a while and maybe I’ve had enough of looking at older brother’s back.”

I was about to refuse when Adam’s soft voice agreed with him, “He’s right Hoss, you are about all in and it would help his circulation to walk.  I’m going to need you to get me off this horse.”  He patted Chub’s neck, “Think you can manage two heavyweights, boy?   Besides you’re bigger you’ll keep the wind off better.”

I reluctantly agreed and climbed up behind him, trying to cover him as much as I could with my arms as I took the reins.

He pushed back at me grumbling. “You don’t have to squeeze me to death.”

He couldn’t see my grin, at least if he was complaining he wasn’t feeling too bad.

As usual older brother was right, it did take much longer than my hour.  Joe and I changed places twice more before we finally saw the lights outside the trading post shining through the gloom.  It was still snowing and the light had fade into twilight a mile or more back on the trail.  We helped Adam from Chub and all but fell into the Post.  Almost immediately hands reached out to help us.  I roused myself enough to make sure someone had gone to my horse and then gratefully allowed others to tend to me and my brothers.

Within the hour we were feeling warmer. The owner’s wife, Mrs Dickson, knew us well and she took care of all our needs including making a very good job of splinting Adam’s arm.  I was still worried about his hands but after I saw him wince, I guessed that the feeling was returning.

“Hurting?”  I asked.

He nodded. “Like hell, but I guess that’s a good sign.”

“It is.”  Mrs Dickson agreed as she bustled in from her kitchen with hot broth,  “And I’ll thank you not to use that language.”

“Sorry Ma’am.  I didn’t realize you were there,”  Adam apologized.

“Makes no never mind whether I heard, you shouldn’t be sayin’ it, ‘specially after all you have to be thankful for.  The good Lord was watching over you out there.  There’s no call for that sort of word.  What would your Pa say?”

Adam raised an eyebrow in my direction.  “He’d say plenty Ma’am, you’re quite right.”

Joe pulled his chair nearer to the fire and poked at the logs.  It was something he often did when he was thinking about a difficult problem.  “We’re gonna have to get you to a doctor tomorrow, older brother.  I guess Reno is the closest.”

Mrs Dickson set the bowls on the table. “You can borrow a couple of horses from here and leave them at the livery stable.  George can pick them up next week, can’t you George.”

Her husband grinned at her assumption that he would agree.  “Sure, I can.  The weather’s clearing so you should have a fairly easy ride.”

Mr Dickson was right about the weather.  By the time we rode out the next morning the sun had come through and the snow glistened white.  It looked beautiful and not menacing as it had the previous day.  I looked at my brothers riding just ahead of me and said a prayer.  We hadn’t been expecting them home until tomorrow; if I had waited until they were overdue then they would have died up there on the mountain.  Now we’d be back before Pa had time to worry, all safe and sound.

It didn’t take long for the doctor in Reno to set Adam’s arm properly and he praised the job Joe had done on the trail and Mrs Dickson’s care.  Said it would set just fine and he wouldn’t even know it had been broken ‘ceptin’ for maybe a twinge in bad weather.  It was too late to set off for home by the time he was finished so we took rooms at the hotel.  We hadn’t been there but a few minutes when Joe started on about gettin’ somethin’ to eat.  Now usually its me that is hungry but since I started havin’ them dreams, I ain’t felt hungry at all.  Joe sayin’ it made me think about food and for the first time in a long while I could face a nice juicy steak or two.

“You okay to go out to eat?”  I asked Adam, he still looked very pale.

“I’ll manage.”  He grunted.  “A few whiskies and I’ll feel just fine.”

Joe led us to a saloon off the main street where he said they had good food, decent whisky and beautiful girls.  Trust Joe to know where to find the girls.

He was right about the food.  I had me three steaks before I began to feel that I had made up for the trip into the mountains.  Joe and Adam had just one apiece and Adam got real embarrassed when I had to cut up his meat for him. He soon changed his mind though when one of them pretty girls came over and sat on his knee and offered to feed him. Joe found himself a girl too and soon both of them forgot I was there.  It didn’t bother me none, it was just like an evening in Virginia City.  I found myself a poker game and set a large beer at my elbow and I was fine.

Next morning it was hard rousing my brothers so we could head home.  Seems Adam’s broken arm hadn’t slowed his drinking any and Joe didn’t need much for him to be the worse for wear next day.  They moaned and groaned but I got them moving. We had only one horse between us again so I used Pa’s credit to buy two more.  They were tired and old but they would get us home.  Not for the first time I thanked the Lord that Pa was so well known and respected around here.

It was well into afternoon when we rode up to the front of the ranch house and as I’d guessed, Pa was on the porch before we even pulled up our mounts.  Pa don’t miss much and he spotted Adam’s sling right off.

“What happened?”  he asked, his tone of voice showing his concerns and his demand for answers.

Adam answered in typical big brother fashion.  “Don’t fuss, Pa.  It’s not a bad break.  I’ll be fine.”

It was like lighting a fuse.  Pa blew up all at once. “Don’t fuss… don’t fuss.  Your horses come home without you and then you….”

“Cooch made it home, is she okay?”  Joe interrupted.

Pa shook his head in annoyance. “Yes, Joseph, she is fine and so is Sport.  As I was saying, you turn up here as if nothing has happened.”  He moved in to take a closer look at Adam.  “You’ve been drinking!” he accused.

“Purely medicinal, Pa.”  Adam responded quietly.

I don’t know how he can do that when Pa is in this sort o’ mood.  He faces him down real calm like.  I always get flustered and say the wrong things and make him even more mad.

“Joe and I had an accident just below the summit.  One of the horses went over the edge and caused the others to bolt.”  Adam was still cool and almost disinterested.

“Yeah, that’s right and Hoss rescued us.  Turned up right on time,”  Joe added eagerly.

This earned him a frown from older brother.

“Rescued you from what?”  Pa asked.

“Well, see when the horse went over, Adam was walking holding the string and he got pulled over too and then I went down to rescue him and couldn’t get back up.”

I could see Pa’s expression changing between concern and anger as Joe spoke. “Couldn’t get up from where?

“Uh… oh, up the cliff, Pa”

“The cliff?”

“But there’s no need to worry now Pa, we stopped off in Reno and Adam saw the Doc.”

Pa was nodding the way he does when he’s found out something we didn’t want him to know.

“So you stopped off in Reno did you.  All three of you?”

I saw Adam bite his lip and start to pull on his ear the way he does when Pa gets started.

“Sure Pa, we couldn’t let Adam go to the Doc’s alone…”

“And no doubt you stayed over for a meal and a few drinks and then found a hotel?”

“Well, yeah, Pa.  It was late see and…”

“And you didn’t think I’d be worried.  Your horses come back saddled without you and I sit here worrying while you’re off enjoying yourselves.  One of you could have ridden back to tell me… but oh no, you’ve got to go drinking.”

I caught Adam’s eye and he was half smiling.  I understood.  Pa was covering his concern with anger.  How often had we seen that before when we were kids.  We’d do something stupid and get hurt and once he’d checked that we were okay, he’d start lecturing us real good.

“Sorry we worried you, Pa.  We’re fine.  Arm hardly hurts at all.”  Adam put on his best apologetic expression.  “ I guess you’re mad about the horses though. It’s a lot of money to pay out for nothing.”

Adam knew Pa would change the moment money was mentioned, that was why he’d said it.

“Oh, Adam you know its not the money.  Just so long as you boys are all right. Now come inside and tell me about it. ”  Pa put an arm around Joe and shook his head and smiled.

“Its kinda a long story, Pa,”  I said as I followed them inside.

Pa shook his head, “No wonder I’m gray.”

We were all tuckered out and Adam and Joe headed for bed real early.  I was slower ‘cos I like a little snack before bedtime so I was by the fire with some roast beef sandwiches when Pa came in from settling the stock for the night.

“Not gone to bed yet, son?”

I shook my head. “Soon as I finish this.”

Pa sat down across from me in his leather chair and I could tell he wanted to say something but was trying to find the words.  I know that feelin’ real well. Adam always knows what to say and Joe don’t bother about the right words he just comes straight out with it, but me I have to think about what I’m gonna say, ‘specially when its important like.

“I’m grateful you went after your brothers, from what Joe and Adam told me earlier they wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t had that premonition.”  He stopped talking and looked right at me then looked away.  “It was a premonition wasn’t it, that’s why you were so difficult to live with…  What was it, nightmares?”

I took another bite of sandwich and chewed on it before I answered.  “Yeah, nightmares,”  I agreed.  “I dunno Pa, I just knew Adam was in trouble, I could feel it.  I mean the dreams didn’t make sense, least not until I was on the mountain, but I just knew.”

“You two always have been close.  And I thank God for it.” He paused and stared into the fire for a minute.  Then he pushed to his feet.  “Whatever it was, thank you.  They wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t followed that instinct and gone after them.”  He touched my shoulder.  “Goodnight, son.”

I finished my sandwich and sat pondering the events of the past few days.  It all seemed unreal now, here by the warmth of the fire with my family around me.  Finally, I headed up the stairs and I couldn’t resist peeking into my brothers’ bedrooms.  Little Joe was curled up almost in a ball with only his hair showing above the quilt, nothing would disturb him now. I smiled at those unruly curls and closed the door softly.  Adam was lying on his back propped against his pillows, his quilt across his middle with his broken arm resting on another pillow at his side. I reached over to cover him properly then decided against it, the slightest thing could wake Adam and he looked relaxed and some how much younger when sleeping. The cares of being the eldest weighed heavily on him, I knew that, but for once I had been able to help him and take care of him, something he rarely let me do.  I backed away and as I did so I heard him whisper.  “Thanks brother, goodnight, sleep well.”

I whispered, “Goodnight.” And made my way to my room.  It felt good to be safe in my own bed and for the first time for several weeks, I did sleep well.

The End