Summary:  Ben’s sons decide that it is time their father was married again, so they set out to find him a new wife.
Rating:  G  16,560 words

---

 

The Next Mrs Cartwright

 

“Whatcha doing Hoss?”

 

Hoss Cartwright blinked a couple of times as he gave his younger brother Joe a startled look. “What?”

 

Joe climbed up onto the bottom railing of the fence and stared at his older brother. “I asked whatcha doing?” he repeated. “You’re looking at Pa awful strange.”

 

Hoss nodded as he glanced over towards their father again. Ben Cartwright was busy talking to a group of townsfolk as he did every Sunday after church, but for some reason there was something about the scene that didn’t sit quite right with Hoss on this particular day. He shrugged his shoulders, not able to quite put his finger on what exactly was bothering him. Hoss was the sort of boy who often needed to think things through carefully and he usually took his time about it, so right now his brow was furrowed slightly as he tried to piece together his thoughts. “I ain’t quite sure Joe,” he said finally. “But there’s something I gotta think on a bit.”

 

“OK,” said Joe happily, no such worries in his small mind on that lovely sunny morning. He stuck a small foot out for his brother’s inspection. “They look good, don’t they?” he asked.

 

Hoss nodded as he looked down at the brand new black boots that his little brother was so proud of. “They sure do Joe,” he said. “Right fine.”

 

“They’re running boots,” Joe informed his brother. “I reckon I’d best give em a bit of practise.” He jumped down from the fence without another word and took off running around the churchyard, leaving his older brother to lean back against a tree trunk and continue to stare at their father. Hoss put his head on one side as he watched the man chatting to various people and then suddenly snapped his fingers and stood up straight as the thought finally came to him.

 

“That’s it!” he said aloud to no one in particular. He nodded his head as he considered the new thought that had permeated his brain, for it had occurred to him that the reason his father looked different today was because he was all alone in the middle of a group of married couples. Not that his Pa being alone was really a new thing, for Hoss’ stepmother Marie had been dead for nearly a year now and they had all been slowly adjusting to their lives without her …. but he had never noticed before just how many of his father’s friends were husband and wife couples.

 

Hoss’ face took on a sad look as he watched his father in the midst of all the other couples. He considered for a few moments how wrong it looked and how much he wished that his stepmother was still around to keep his father company. His tender heart became heavy with sorrow for the man who had to stand alone in the middle of that group of happily married men and women.

 

His Pa had told him many times how he considered his three sons his life now, but Hoss knew that deep down he must be missing not having a wife as well.

 

He scratched his chin as he continued to stare at his father and then his attention was momentarily distracted by the sight of his older brother Adam who was also leaning against a tree trunk across the other side of the churchyard. Adam had a dreamy expression on his face as he gazed at Bertha Williams who was chatting with her mother to the minister. Hoss knew that look well, for his older brother was usually smitten with a different girl about once a month and Bertha was simply the latest in a long line of what Hoss considered to be giggling and silly no-count females.

 

He stood up and sauntered over towards Adam, wishing as he did so that his brother wouldn’t look quite so soppy in public, as Hoss felt it was a bit of an embarrassment to their family “Hey Adam?” he said as he same up next to the young man.

 

“Mmm?” Adam didn’t take his eyes off Bertha as he acknowledged his brother’s presence.

 

“Hey Adam?” Hoss persisted.

 

Adam reluctantly dragged his gaze away from Bertha. “What?” he asked shortly.

 

“I was just wondering,” said Hoss. “How old were you when Pa married my Ma?”

 

Adam gave his brother a puzzled look. “I was five. Why?”

 

Hoss shrugged. “I was just wondering,” he said. “And how old was I when Pa married Ma …. Joe’s Ma?”

 

Now it was Adam’s turn to shrug. “Around the same age I suppose.” He stared at Hoss. “Why on earth are you asking?”

 

Hoss shrugged again, not willing to involve his older brother in his thoughts. “No reason,” he said. “Like I said, I was just wondering.” He was silent for a moment. “Adam …. Do ya reckon that Pa will get married again some day?”

 

Adam shifted his gaze back to Bertha and his face once again took the soppy expression that Hoss hated so much. “Maybe,” he said. “One day perhaps.”

 

Hoss frowned as he walked away. He didn’t much like the idea of a new stepmother, but watching his Pa like that made him consider putting his own feelings to one side if that’s what was best. Maybe his Pa needed a wife? Maybe it was time for him to start thinking about getting married again? After all ….”

 

“Did ya see em Hoss?” Little Joe interrupted his thoughts as he came bounding up beside him again. “Did ya see my boots run? They’re real fast running boots!” Joe grinned up at his adored older brother happily and then suddenly frowned. “Hey! What’s wrong with you Hoss? You’re looking all funny.”

 

Hoss patted his little brother on the shoulder. “I’m just having a think Joe,” he assured him. “I’m setting my mind to something is all.”

 

Joe immediately looked interested. “Yeah?” he said. “What? What are ya setting your mind to Hoss?”

 

Hoss looked down at his younger brother and hesitated as he considered whether or not to discuss his thoughts with him. Joe was only small, but Hoss’ experience was that his little brother sometimes came out with things that you wouldn’t expect from a little boy his age. Many times the things he came out with got them both into trouble, but Hoss figured that there wasn’t much about this latest problem that could possibly lead them down the path to trouble this time.

 

“Well it’s like this Joe,” he said finally. “I’ve been thinking about Pa.”

 

“Yeah?” said Joe. “What about him?”

 

“Take a look over there Joe,” said Hoss, indicating their father who was still chatting. “What do you see?”

 

Joe looked. “Pa talking to a whole lot of people,” he said.

 

“Yeah,” persisted Hoss. “But look a bit closer Joe. Notice anything else?”

 

Joe screwed up his face as he considered the scene in front of him. “He’s got on his Sunday church suit,” he said finally. “Is that what you mean Hoss?”

 

“No,” said Hoss. “Look at the people around him Joe.”

 

Joe looked. “They’re his friends,” he said finally.

 

“Exactly,” said Hoss. “They’re all his friends and they every one of em is married.” He looked at his little brother triumphantly. “See?”

 

Joe looked puzzled. “No,” he said. “See what?”

 

“Pa’s the only one who ain’t married,” said Hoss.

 

Joe gave his brother a withering look. “Of course he ain’t married,” he said. “Everyone knows that! He ain’t married cause Mama died and he ain’t got no wife no more.”

 

Hoss slapped his brother on the shoulder. “Exactly!” he said. “See Joe? He’s the only one who ain’t married outta all them people. He should be married.”

 

“But he can’t be married,” said Joe firmly. “He can’t be married cause Mama’s dead. You remember that Hoss, don’t ya?”

 

“Of course I do,” replied Hoss, trying to remain patient with the little boy. “But I ain’t talking about your Ma now, Joe. What I’m saying is that Pa should be married … he needs a wife. It can’t be your Ma, so maybe now he needs to look for another wife. He did after Adam’s Ma died and ….”

 

“He married your Ma then,” said Joe. “He told me that story.”

 

“Yeah,” said Hoss. “And after my Ma died he married your Ma.”

 

Joe thought about what his brother was saying. “And now that my Ma’s dead ….” he mused. His head shot up suddenly. “Is Pa gonna get married again?” he asked, a touch defensively.

 

Hoss shrugged his shoulders. “I ain’t sure Joe,” he admitted. “Maybe. It appears that he always seems to get married when one of us turns five,” he looked at Joe knowingly. “And you’re almost five now,” he added for effect.

 

“Why’s he need to get married for anyway?” asked Joe. “He don’t need no new wife!”

 

“Well I reckon he might,” said Hoss. “A man needs a wife Joe.”

 

“Yeah? What for?” Joe looked at his brother trustingly. “What’s a man need a wife for Hoss?”

 

“To keep him company,” said Hoss.

 

“We keep him company,” interrupted Joe. “He don’t need no wife for that!”

 

Hoss nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “But a man also needs a wife for ….” He searched his brain for the reason. “Well I reckon he needs a wife to keep the house clean and cook for him,” he said.

 

“Pa’s got Hop Sing for that,” said Joe. “He cooks and cleans real good.”

 

“Yeah,” admitted Hoss. “But …. well a man needs a wife for other things too Joe.”

 

“What?” demanded Joe. “What other things?”

 

Hoss scratched his head as he thought. “Like kissing,” he said finally, going slightly red.

 

Joe looked scornful. “I kiss him,” he said. “He don’t need a wife for that!”

 

Hoss shook his head and gave his brother a patronising look. “That’s a different kind of kissing,” he said knowingly. “You’re too little to know anything about it Joe.”

 

Joe glared at his brother. “I ain’t too little!” he declared angrily. “Stop saying that Hoss!” He looked down at his new boots as if willing them to kick his brother, for if there was one thing that made Joe Cartwright angry, it was being called little.

 

“I don’t mean it like that Joe,” Hoss assured the little boy quickly. “Only ….” He scratched his head again. “It’s like I said. A man just needs a wife and our Pa ain’t got one.” He looked across at his father sadly. “I think he’s awful lonely Joe. Look at him.”

 

Joe looked again and all his anger suddenly disappeared as he noticed that his brother was right. “He sure looks lonely,” he said in a small voice. “All them other men got wives and he don’t.” He looked at his brother anxiously. “But … but if Pa gets a wife Hoss, then she’ll be our new Ma, won’t she?”

 

“Yeah,” admitted Hoss.

 

“But I don’t want a new Ma, Hoss,” said Joe sadly. “I only want my real Ma.”

 

“I know,” said Hoss,” putting a comforting arm around his brother’s shoulder. “But sometimes we gotta put up with things we don’t want. You want Pa to be happy, don’t you Joe?”

 

“Sure,” said Joe quickly.

 

“Well then, I reckon it’s best if he gets a new wife,” said Hoss. “Don’t you see Joe? If he gets a new wife, then he won’t be lonely no more.”

 

“I suppose,” said Joe, staring down at his new boots thoughtfully.

 

“Sides,” continued Hoss. “I reckon she’ll be real nice. Your Ma was nice to me and Adam when she married Pa.”

 

“I suppose,” said Joe again, although he didn’t sound too sure of it at all. He looked up at his brother again. “Who’s Pa gonna make his new wife Hoss?”

 

Hoss scratched his head again. “Well now, that’s the problem Joe,” he admitted. “I reckon he ain’t sure yet.”

 

“I hope he picks out someone nice,” said Joe, staring at his father across the yard. “Do you think it’ll be someone we know, Hoss?”

 

Hoss thought for a moment. “Well now Joe, there’s a thought,” he said. “Maybe we should help him find a new wife? Maybe we could help him decide on someone nice that we already know?”

 

Joe’s face brightened up somewhat. “Yeah!” he said, enthusiastically. “Who will we choose Hoss?” He looked around the yard hopefully as if he expected a woman to pop right up in front of them. “Why don’t we go and ask some ladies Hoss?” He took a step forward, but Hoss pulled him straight back by the collar.

 

“Hold on,” he said. “We can’t just go and find someone like that,” he warned. “Pa mightn’t like us doing it that way.”

 

“Well how are we gonna do it then?” asked Joe, excitement starting to creep into his voice. “How are we gonna help Pa find a new wife, Hoss?”

 

“I’ll have to give that some thought,” Hoss replied. He pointed a finger at his little brother. “Now don’t you go and say nothing about this Joe. We need to keep this a secret just for us until I figure this out in my head.”

 

Joe instantly put a hand over his mouth as he nodded at Hoss. “Can’t we even tell Adam?” he said, through his hand. “He might help us look Pa’s new wife.”

 

“Specially not Adam,” said Hoss firmly. “He’ll only tell us to mind our own business.” He glanced across to their older brother who was still staring dreamily at Bertha. “Look at him Joe,” he said. “He’s in love again and you know he don’t think clearly when he gets that look on his face.”

 

Joe nodded knowingly. “Yeah,” he agreed. “He gets all bossy too and we don’t want him telling us what to do.” He spoke from experience, for they had both been on the receiving end of their big brother’s bossiness many times, especially when he was infatuated with a girl. Love seemed to make Adam go all adult and act like a grownup, and they both knew it. “OK Hoss,” he said. “I won’t tell no-one.”

 

“Good,” said Hoss. “I’ll think on it a bit and let you know what we’re gonna do Joe.” He nodded at the little boy. “But don’t you worry, we’re gonna find Pa a real nice wife. Someone who’s gonna make him happy.”

 

“And someone who can kiss him real good,” Joe added. “Don’t forget the kissing part Hoss.”

 

“I won’t,” replied Hoss confidently. “We’ll get a real good kisser for him Joe, that’s for sure.” He started as he heard his name. “Coming Pa!” he shouted to his father who was gesturing towards him. He grabbed Joe’s hand and pulled his brother along behind him. “Now be quiet about all this,” he warned him again.

 

Ben smiled at his two sons as they approached him. “Time to go boys,” he said. “Where’s Adam?” He looked around and smiled as he spied his oldest son who was still leaning against the tree and staring at Bertha. “Adam!” he called, quite amused at the look of the young man.

 

“He’s gone all soppy again Pa,” Hoss informed his father.

 

“He’s in love,” added Little Joe perceptively.

 

Ben nodded as he continued to smile at Adam. “I know boys,” he said. “We just have to be patient with him when he gets like this, remember? I told you before about hormones, didn’t I? Adam is becoming a man and he’s bound to be interested in girls now.”

 

“Yeah,” sighed Hoss. “But them hormones makes him right boring Pa.”

 

“My new boots have been running real good Pa,” said Joe proudly as they headed towards their buggy. “You wanna see?”

 

“Maybe when we get home son,” said Ben. “Get up into the buggy now.” He lifted Joe up under the arms and deposited him into the buggy, then watched as Hoss climbed up. “Sorry to disturb you son,” he said to Adam as he joined them. “You looked lost in thought over there.”

 

Adam gave his father a vague look. “Huh?” he said.

 

“Nothing,” said Ben, trying to hide his amusement.

 

“Hey Adam?” Joe tapped his brother on the shoulder as Ben hitched up the reins and they took off.

 

“What?”

 

“See my new boots?” Joe thrust his foot upwards.

 

“Stop it!” said Adam shortly. “I don’t need your boot in my face!”

 

“Well I was just showing ya!” countered Joe defensively as he glared at his brother. “You don’t need to yell at me just cause you got hair-moans!”

 

Adam turned around on the buggy seat and gave his youngest brother a strange look. “What?” he asked.

 

“Them hair-moans,” Joe repeated crankily. “They makes you go all soppy, don’t they Hoss?”

 

“Yeah,” agreed Hoss.

 

Adam gave his father a puzzled look. “Hormones,” said Ben with a chuckle. “I was explaining to them why you like girls now.”

 

“Pa!” said Adam, going red.

 

“Are you gonna get married to one of them girls Adam?” Joe enquired curiously.

 

Adam snorted. “Of course I’m not!” he said. “I’ve got too much to do before I get married. I’m going to college in the fall, remember?”

 

“Oh yeah,” said Joe. He narrowed his eyes as he observed his brother. “But you might get married after that, mightn’t you? Like …..”

 

Hoss reached out and kicked his little brother. “Ow!” yelled Joe, rubbing his ankle. “What did you do that for Hoss? I didn’t say nothing about ….”

 

“About what?” asked Ben.

 

“Nothing,” said Hoss quickly.

 

Ben looked over his shoulder at his two boys who both looked back at him with innocent expressions on their faces. “What are you two up to?” he asked, suspiciously.

 

“Nothing Pa,” said Hoss again.

 

“We got a secret,” said Joe happily. “It’s gonna be a surprise.”

 

“Oh?” said their father. “It’s nothing that might cause trouble, is it Hoss?”

 

“Oh no Pa,” replied Hoss. “We ain’t doing nothing wrong.”

 

Ben nodded. “All right then,” he said. “You can keep your secret. I’ll respect your privacy.”

 

“And you can respect my privacy,” added Adam. “Stop talking about my …. hormones.”

 

Joe shrugged. “I don’t care,” he said. “I don’t even know what hair-moans are anyhow.” He grinned up at Hoss. “Hear that Hoss? Pa’s gonna spect our privacy, so now we don’t have to tell him about …..”

 

Hoss put a hand over Joe’s mouth and shook his finger at him while Adam slumped down grumpily on the front seat of the buggy. Ben shook his head and rolled his eyes skywards as he turned the horses towards home.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Hoss put the piece of crinkled paper on the top of the barrel and smoothed it out as Little Joe craned his neck to try and get a look at it. “Who have we got so far Hoss?”

 

Hoss scratched his head with his pencil as he looked at the list. “Well,” he said slowly. “There’s Mrs Shaunessghy …”

 

Joe wrinkled up his nose. “I still reckon we shouldn’t have her on the list,” he said. “She’s too bossy!”

 

Hoss nodded. “I know,” he said. “But the list is real short Joe, so we ain’t got no choice.”

 

“Who else is on it so far?” asked Joe again.

 

“Hoss looked. “Mrs Shaunessghy and …. the Widow Hawkins,” he said. He wrinkled up his nose. She talks kinda funny, but she cooks real good,” he said, half to himself.

 

“Who else?” demanded Little Joe impatiently.

 

“That’s it so far,” sighed Hoss. “I told you it was a real short list Joe.”

 

Joe nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It ain’t much to choose from Hoss,” he added.

 

Hoss’ brow furrowed in thought. “We gotta find a way to make it longer,” he said. “We gotta find a way to get more ideas about who to put on it.” He shook his head. “Two ain’t enough to choose from,” he said.

 

“Are you two coming in for breakfast?” Hoss and Joe jumped slightly at the sound of Adam’s voice behind them and they both turned to give their brother a guilty look. “Pa said to get inside for breakfast,” Adam said. “Hop Sing’s getting angry about the food getting cold and you know how that annoys Pa.” He narrowed his eyes slightly as he noticed the guilty looks on his brothers’ faces. “What have you got there?” he asked Hoss, indicating the piece of paper that the boy was bust shoving into his pocket.

 

“Nuthin,” said Hoss.

 

“You gotta spect our privacy,” Joe reminded his brother. “Pa said so!”

 

Adam shrugged. “Suit yourselves,” he said. “Only get inside before Hop Sing and Pa both start yelling, will you?” He headed back towards the house, adding over his shoulder. “Pa’s in a hurry to get to town for supplies and he’s not in a good mood.”

 

Joe made to follow him, but stopped as Hoss pulled on his collar. “I just had a thought Joe,” Hoss whispered to the little boy.

 

Joe’s eye lit up. “What?” he asked.

 

Hoss steered his brother towards the house after Adam, as he continued to whisper to him. “We ask Pa if we can go into town with him and we watch for any ladies that he talks to.”

 

Joe nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Then what Hoss?”

 

“Then we put the ones he likes on the list,” continued Hoss.

 

“Yeah,” agreed Joe again as they reached the front porch. “You get good ideas Hoss.” He looked at his brother admiringly and Hoss puffed out his chest slightly.

 

“That’s just cause I’m older than you ,” he said as they entered the house. “I’m bound to get better ideas.”

 

“Where have you two been?” demanded their father crossly. “Hop Sing has had breakfast ready for ages and it’s getting cold!”

 

“All cold!” Hop Sing agreed, glaring at them both. “Little boys eat cold eggs!”

 

“I don’t mind em cold,” Hoss said happily as he slid into his seat. “I like em any way they come cause you cook em so good Hop Sing!” He started to pile his plate high with eggs as he grinned at Hop Sing, who appeared somewhat mollified by the boy’s comments.

 

“I don’t like ….” Little Joe began, but stopped as he saw the look on Hoss’ face. “I like em just fine,” he finished lamely.

 

Hop Sing nodded and disappeared into the kitchen as everyone began to eat.

 

“Pa?” said Hoss after a moment.

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” replied his father shortly.

 

Hoss swallowed and then repeated. “Pa?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can I go into town with you today? I’ve done all my morning chores and it’s Saturday, so I don’t have school.”

 

“I suppose so,” said Ben. “Joseph, eat those eggs.”

 

Joe gamely put a small mouthful into his mouth and said through it. “Me too Pa?”

 

“I suppose so,” said Ben again. “As long as you both behave yourselves.”

 

“Oh we will!” Hoss assured his father as he winked at Joe. Joe giggled and covered his mouth quickly as he tried to hide the sound.

 

“What is going on with you two?” asked Adam suspiciously. “What’s all the winking for Hoss?”

 

“Nuthin,” said Hoss, bending his head and concentrating on his eggs intently.

 

Adam looked at him for a moment and then turned his gaze towards Joe. “What are you giggling about?” he asked.

 

Hoss’ head shot up again. “He ain’t giggling about nuthin,” he said quickly before Joe could open his mouth. “Are ya Joe?”

 

Joe shook his head and gave his eldest brother an innocent look. “Nuthin,” he agreed.

 

Ben stood up and wiped his mouth on his napkin. “Well if you’re both coming into town with me you’d better hurry up and finish what’s on your plates,” he said. “Thank you Hop Sing,” he said as the cook came back into the room and handed him a piece of paper.

 

“Make sure you get cinnamon,” Hop Sing said gruffly. “Mr Adam forgot last week and I need!”

 

“I didn’t forget,” Adam protested. “I told you that they just didn’t have any.”

 

“Hmph!” Hop Sing snorted. “Boy’s head way up in clouds with love and him not concentrate on list is all,” he said.

 

Adam opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again when he saw his father shake his head. Instead he simply stood up and headed for the door. “I’ll hitch up the team for you Pa,” he said, by way of ignoring Hop Sing’s comment.

 

“Thank you son,” said Ben. He glanced down at Joe. “Eat those eggs or you’re going nowhere this morning,” he said.

 

Hoss gave Joe a meaningful look and the little boy sighed before shovelling the remainder of the eggs into his mouth. Ben nodded and headed for the door after adding, “And finish up that milk before you come outside,” he said.

 

Joe gave Hoss a pained look as he chewed on the eggs and Hoss immediately reached over, picked up the glass and downed the milk in three swallows. Chew em up good Joe,” he advised his brother. “They slip down easier that way.”

 

Joe nodded, continuing to chew as he followed his brother towards the door. “Is that milk all gone?” asked Ben as he lifted Little Joe up onto the seat of the buckboard.

 

“Yes Pa,” replied Joe innocently, for the brothers had been through this many times before. “It’s all gone for sure.”

 

“Good,” said Ben and hitched up the reins as Hoss settled himself on the seat beside him. Joe clambered onto his father’s lap which was his favourite place to sit when they were riding in the buckboard. He grabbed hold of the reins and pretended to drive the team while his father kept a firm grip on the reins behind him.

 

“So why are you two so eager to get into town today?” asked Ben teasingly. “I suppose you want to check out the mercantile?”

 

“Nope,” said Hoss. “We thought we’d just come with you Pa.”

 

“Yeah,” agreed Joe. “We wanna watch who you talk to. Ow … whatcha do that for Hoss?”

 

“Hoss, don’t kick your brother,” said Ben absently.

 

“Yeah, don’t kick me,” echoed Joe. “I wasn’t gonna say nothing about the ladies that …. Ow!”

 

“Hoss!” said Ben sharply. “Didn’t I just tell you not to kick your brother? Now stop it or you’ll get down and walk back home young man!”

 

“Yes Pa,” said Hoss submissively, giving Joe a meaningful look while he did so.

 

There was silence for a few moments, only broken by Little Joe chirruping at the horses and telling them to get moving.  Ben stared into space, his thoughts obviously on something and Hoss stared at his father, his thoughts on who would make the man a good wife. Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. “Hey Pa?” he asked.

 

“Yes son?”

 

“What made you marry our Ma’s?”

 

Ben gave his middle son a puzzled look. “I’ve told you all about your mothers before son,” he said finally. “I loved them very much.”

 

“Yeah I know that,” replied Hoss. “Only why did you love em? Why them and not other ladies?” He winked at Little Joe as the small boy gave him a questioning look and Joe’s eyes widened and he nodded his head as he realised what Hoss was doing. Both gestures went unnoticed by Ben, however, as he tried to think of how to answer the question.

 

“Well,” he said finally. “I suppose I loved them because they were all very special women.”

 

“Special in what way?” persisted Hoss.

 

“They were all different,” Ben mused, half to himself. “Adam’s mother was very clever …”

 

“Just like Adam,” interrupted Little Joe. “He’s real clever with books and stuff, ain’t he Pa?”

 

Ben ruffled his son’s hair affectionately. “Yes he is,” he agreed. “His mother was just like that too. She always had a book in her hand.” His eyes misted over as they usually tended to do when he spoke of any of his wives. “She was a beautiful woman,” he said. “Dark hair and beautiful.”

 

Hoss’ eyes lit up. “Joe’s Ma was beautiful too, wasn’t she Pa?” he said eagerly. “You like ladies who look nice, huh?”

 

Ben looked startled again. “Well yes,” he admitted and he smiled as he looked at Hoss. “Your mother had the most beautiful blue eyes Hoss. She was lovely.” He sighed. “They all were.”

 

Hoss winked at Joe again and made a mental note to look for someone pretty. “And what else?” he asked, trying to sound casual about it.

 

Ben brought his mind out of his thoughts momentarily. “What else …. What?” he asked.

 

“What else do ya like for a wife Pa?” piped up Little Joe. “We gotta know.”

 

Ben gave the small boy an amused look. “You’ve gotta know?” he teased. “And why would that be?”

 

“Because ….”

 

“Because we just like to hear about our Ma’s,” interrupted Hoss before Joe could say something to alert their father to what they were really up to. “Tell us more Pa. Why did ya marry em?”

 

“Because I wanted to have them with me all the time,” said Ben patiently. “I’ve told all this before Hoss.”

 

Joe turned on his seat in front of his father and gave the man a serious look. “You married em because of us, didn’t ya Pa?” he said.

 

Ben cleared his throat. “Well, you all came along later,” he said, trying not to laugh at the child’s statement. “But yes, I did want children.”

 

Hoss frowned suddenly. “You don’t want any more but, do you Pa?” he asked anxiously.

 

Ben laughed. “No, I don’t think so,” he said. “You three are more than enough for me to handle son.”

 

Hoss looked relieved. “So if you was to find another wife,” he said slowly. “She could be a old one?”

 

“A … I mean … an old one?” asked Ben.

 

“Yeah,” said Hoss. “A old one who don’t need to have no babies?”

 

Ben blinked a couple of times. “What is all this about?” he asked.

 

“Nothin,” said Hoss innocently. “I was just wondering.”

 

“We was just wondering,” echoed Joe, also giving his father an innocent look.

 

Ben looked from one boy to the other and then back again. “You were just wondering,” he repeated. “Well it all sounds ….”

 

“Tell us more about our Ma’s,” interrupted Hoss quickly. “About why you married em and all.”

 

So Ben talked. All the way into town he talked to his sons about their mothers and what made them so special and the three of them became so engrossed in what he had to say that they were all quite startled to find themselves on the outskirts of town before they realised it.

 

“They were three very special women,” Ben finished, when he realised where they were. “Is that what you wanted to hear boys?”

 

Hoss nodded and winked at Joe again. “Thanks Pa,” he said, mentally ticking off all the attributes that their father had listed for them from their own mothers. “I reckon we got a real good idea now.”

 

Joe nodded too. “Yeah,” he said. “Now we know who to …. Ow!” He gave Hoss an aggrieved look. “Pa, Hoss kicked me again!”

 

“Stop it Hoss,” said Ben absently as he pulled the team to a halt. “Well, here we are boys. I suppose you’d both like to go down to the livery stable while I’m at the bank? I’ll pick you up there later and …”

 

“No thanks Pa,” interrupted Hoss. “We’ll come with you.”

 

Joe frowned at his brother, but the frown soon turned to a giggle as Hoss wagged a finger at him knowingly. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “We’ll come with you Pa.”

 

Ben looked at both of them strangely, for hanging out at the livery stable and viewing all the horses was one of their favourite things to do and every time they came to town his boys begged him for the chance to spend a little time there. “Are you sure?” he asked. “It’s going to be boring for you both at the bank.”

 

“We’re sure,” Hoss assured him. “We like spending time with you Pa.”

 

“Yeah,” echoed Joe. “We like spending time with you Pa.”

 

Ben shrugged. “All right then,” he said. “If that’s what you want. Come along then.” He grabbed Joe’s hand and led him down the street, followed by Hoss who watched his father carefully for any sign that he might in interested in any particular woman. Unfortunately for Hoss, however, there weren’t any women on the street that morning and they reached the bank before he had even had the chance to lay his eyes on a female of any kind.

 

“Morning George,” said Ben as they entered the bank and he spied the bank manager standing in the middle of the room. “Stay here boys,” he said to Hoss and Joe, indicating a couple of chairs in the corner.

 

Hoss pulled Joe towards the corner and they both sat down eagerly, ready to watch their father. Joe looked around. “There ain’t any ladies in here,” he whispered in a loud voice to Hoss.

 

Hoss looked around as well. “We just have to be patient,” he whispered back. “Now remember what Pa said Joe … he likes ladies who are real pretty …” He started counting off the attributes on his fingers as he tried to remember all the things that their Pa has said in the buckboard. “And he likes em real clever ….”

 

“And pretty,” chimed in Joe.

 

“I said that one,” Hoss admonished him. “Now what else did he say? Oh yeah …. He likes ladies who have good figures.”

 

“What’s a good figure?” asked Joe.

 

Hoss blushed slightly. “Ladies who got a nice shape,” he said.

 

“What kind of shape Hoss?” asked Joe.

 

Hoss blushed even more and he made the shape of an hourglass with his hands. “Like that Joe. Kinda big and then small and then big again … that’s what Adam says is a good figure.”

 

Joe nodded wisely, for even at his tender age he’d noticed that some ladies were big at the top of their chests. “Oh,” he said. “What else Hoss? What else are we looking for?”

 

“Shh!” said Hoss suddenly. “There’s a lady! Now watch and see if Pa looks interested in her.”

 

Both boys fixated their eyes on the woman who had just entered the bank. “It’s Mrs Miller,” Joe whispered in a loud voice to Hoss. “Pa can’t marry her! She’s got a husband already.”

 

Hoss’ face fell. “Yeah,” he said. “I reckon you’re right Joe.” They both watched as Ben spoke to the woman and then they both smiled at her as she acknowledged them as well.

 

“That’s bad that she’s got a husband,” Joe informed Hoss. “She’s got a real big figure up the top.”

 

Hoss blushed again. “Quiet!” he said as the door opened again. He clutched Joe’s arm eagerly. “Hey look!” he said excitedly. “It’s Widow Hawkins! She’s on our list and she ain’t got no husband!”

 

Joe looked. “Yeah, but she’s the one who talks real funny,” he protested. “Member?” They both watched as their father greeted the woman and she began to gush all over him. “She likes Pa but,” Joe said finally. “Look Hoss … she keeps touching him on the arm.”

 

Hoss shook his head. “Yeah, maybe,” he said, not sounding too sure about it at all. He smiled as the widow and their father approached them.

 

“Well if it isn’t two of the Cartwright boys!” said Widow Hawkins. “My, this one is a strapping young thing, isn’t he Ben?” She gave Hoss an appraising look and then turned to Little Joe. “And this one …. Tiny Tim, isn’t it?”

 

“I’m Little Joe,” Joe informed her. “Not Tiny Tim.”

 

Widow Hawkins bent down and pinched him hard on the cheek as Joe glared at her. “Well I knew it was something like that ducky,” she said.

 

“I ain’t no duck!” said Joe angrily, for if there was anything he hated almost as much as being told he was little, it was being pinched on the cheek.

 

“Come along boys,” said Ben quickly. “We have a lot to do.” He tried to usher the two boys past the widow, but she stood firm and wouldn’t budge.

 

“Now you remember Benjamin,” she said, patting him affectionately on the arm. “You must come to supper one evening.”

 

“Perhaps,” said Ben, trying to smile at her as he pushed the boys towards the door. “Things are a bit busy at the ranch right now though.”

 

“How about Tuesday?” persisted the widow.

 

“Well I might have to say no to that this time,” said Ben quickly as he opened the door. “Maybe another time when things aren’t so hectic.”

 

“You just tell me when ducky!” Widow Hawkins called after him as he pushed the two boys down the street. “Any time will suit me!”

 

“She talks funny,” observed Joe as they left the widow behind them.

 

“That’s because she’s British,” said his father shortly.

 

Joe gave his father an intense look. “You don’t wanna marry her, do ya Pa?” he asked.

 

Ben’s eyes rolled skyward at the thought of it. “No son,” he said quickly. “Heaven forbid!” He strode in front of them quickly. “Hurry up boys,” he called over his shoulder.

 

“Guess we’d better not have her on the list them” said Hoss. “Pa don’t like her none.”

 

“Yeah,” agreed Joe. “Neither do I Hoss.” He grabbed Hoss’ sleeve suddenly. “Hey look!” he said excitedly. “Pa’s talking to a lady, Hoss!”

 

Hoss looked and saw their father on the other side of the footpath, talking to a nicely dressed woman who was holding the hand of a small boy. “It’s Mrs Saunders,” he said to Joe. “She’s nice!”

 

“But she’s a Mrs,” Joe reminded his brother. “That means she got a husband!”

 

“Yeah, but her husband died last year right after your Ma did,” Hoss said. “Remember Joe?”

 

“No,” said Joe, shaking his head.

 

“Well he did,” said Hoss, looking the woman up and down. “She’d be a good wife for Pa Joe. She’s real pretty.”

 

“But she’s got her own family,” said Joe, with a worried look on his face. He glared at Katherine Saunders’ young son Eden who glared back at him. Eden was a couple of years older than Joe and the two boys had definitely not hit it off the few times they’d met before.

 

Hoss took no notice of his brother’s objection, but pulled Joe towards the group. “Morning Ma’am,” he said, tipping his hat politely to Mrs Saunders.

 

“Good morning boys,” replied Katherine, smiling sweetly at both of them. “Ben, they’re both growing so fast!”

 

Ben grinned down at them both, his pride evident on his face. “Say hello to Eden boys,” he reminded them.

 

“Hi Eden,” said Hoss, his eyes still on Eden’s mother. Joe said nothing, but simply glared at the other boy while Eden glared back at him. Joe edged closer to Hoss, for he suddenly remembered the time when Eden had pushed him and his small fists tightened as he readied himself in case it happened again.

 

While the two smaller boys eyed each other off, Hoss eyed off his father, noting as he did so the way the man smiled and genuinely seemed to enjoy the conversation with Mrs Saunders. He nodded and winked at Joe, but Joe was too busy eyeing off Eden to notice it.

 

By the time they had left Mrs Saunders and Eden, Hoss was convinced that they’d found the one for their father and the thought made him nearly burst with the happiness that he was contemplating for the man. “She’s nice, ain’t she Pa?” he said as they entered the mercantile store.

 

“Who’s nice son?” asked Ben, looking closely at the list that Hop Sing had given him.

 

“Mrs Saunders … she’s nice, ain’t she?” Hoss nudged Joe, but the smaller boy didn’t respond as he looked around the store in an interested fashion.

 

“Oh yes, very nice,” said Ben.

 

“Did ya hear that Joe?” said Hoss excitedly as their father strode away. “He thinks she nice! I reckon she’s the one!”

 

Joe’s face fell. “No!” he said. “I don’t want her as a new Ma! She’ll bring Eden with her to our house!”

 

Hoss patted Joe on the shoulder. “Well sometimes we gotta put up with things we don’t want,” he explained.

 

Joe’s eyes filled with tears. “But I don’t like him Hoss,” he said. “He pushes me!”

 

Hoss frowned. “Don’t you worry Joe,” he assured his brother. “I’ll be there to protect you from him.” He stood up tall. “I won’t let him push no brother of mine,” he added and then looked thoughtful. “We just gotta work out how to get Pa to marry her now is all.”

 

“No,” Joe whimpered. “I don’t want him to marry her and Eden, Hoss!”

 

Hoss patted his little brother on the shoulder again as he continued to look thoughtful.

 

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Little Joe settled himself down on Hoss’ bed, his legs stuck out in front of him as he surveyed his boots below his nightshirt.

 

“Why ain’t ya taking your boots off?” Hoss asked. “You don’t wear boots with a nightshirt! Sides ….” He brushed some dirt of the bedclothes. “… you’re getting my bed all dirty.”

 

“My boots like to stay on my feet,” Joe informed his brother in a huffy tone.

 

Hoss ignored the comment and drew his own feet up under the covers. “Now we gotta talk about how to get Pa to ask Mrs Saunders to marry him,” he said. “We ….”

 

“But I done told you before Hoss,” interjected Joe. “I don’t want him to marry her and Eden!”

 

“He ain’t gonna marry Eden Joe,” Hoss explained patiently. “Just Mrs Saunders.”

 

“But she’ll bring Eden here to be our bruvva, won’t she?” countered Joe. “I don’t want him here!”

 

“But Joe …..”

 

“No!” shouted Joe, nearly beginning to cry. “Can’t we find someone else Hoss?”

 

“You’d better keep your voice down unless you want Pa to send you to bed where you’re supposed to be,” said a voice behind them and they both turned to see Adam leaning against the doorframe observing them. “What are you doing in here anyway, Joe?”

 

Joe sprang off the bed and ran over to his older brother. “Don’t let Eden be my bruvva Adam!” he said.

 

“What on earth are you talking about?” asked Adam in astonishment. “Hoss, why have you got him all riled up like this? You know that he won’t sleep if he gets into one of his states.” He bent down and picked up the small boy, placing him on his hip as he added. “What’s all this about?”

 

Joe sniffed a couple of times before answering. “I don’t want Eden Saunders to be my bruvva,” he said.

 

Adam gave Hoss a puzzled look. “What?” he asked.

 

Hoss shrugged his shoulders. “Nothin,” he said lamely.

 

Joe turned Adam’s face towards his as he continued. “Hoss says that Pa has to marry Mrs Saunders and that means that Eden will be our …”

“Joe!” said Hoss. “You weren’t sposed to tell!”

 

Adam raised and eyebrow and looked at both his brothers before coming to sit on Hoss’ bed and placing Joe on his lap. “Is this what you two have been up to the past few days?” he said.

 

Hoss nodded reluctantly. “Well yeah,” he said. “We figured that Pa needs to get married again.”

“Why?”

 

“Cause,” Hoss said, as if that explained everything.

 

Adam pointed his finger at first Hoss and then Little Joe. “Now you two just listen to me,” he said firmly. “Pa will get married again if and when he wants to. It’s none of our business if he does, so stop poking your noses into his affairs.”

 

“But Adam …”

 

“But Adam nothing,” said Adam. “And stop picking out women for him to marry.”

“But he likes Mrs Saunders,” said Hoss, a touch defensively. “He said she was real nice.”

 

“I’m sure he does,” replied Adam. “But just because he likes her doesn’t mean that he wants to marry her.”

 

“See?” said Joe, leaning forward and also pointing his finger at Hoss. “Pa don’t want to marry Mrs Saunders and Eden!” He gave Adam a triumphant look. “I told Hoss that he didn’t,” he added.

 

“But Pa needs a wife,” persisted Hoss.

 

“Oh?” replied Adam. “And why is that?”

 

“For company,” said Hoss. “Haven’t you noticed how lonely he is?”

 

Adam hesitated. “Well, yes,” he said. “I know he’s very lonely since Marie died.” His eyes took on a faraway look as he remembered watching his father’s heart breaking in those weeks and months after Little Joe’s mother had passed away and the helplessness he had felt at not being able to really do anything to help the man he loved more than anything.

 

“And he needs a wife for kissing,” Joe added. “That’s true, ain’t it Hoss?”

 

“Yeah,” said Hoss. “For kissing and ….”

 

“For looking at her figure,” Joe filled in for his brother. He pointed to his chest. “Up here,” he said to Adam in a serious tone.

 

Adam tried to stop himself from giggling. “Oh?” he said. “Really?”

 

Joe nodded seriously. “Yeah,” he said. “So we’ve been making a list of ladies who Pa can marry.”

 

Adam nodded in spite of himself. “I see. So where is this list?” he asked.

 

Hoss immediately pulled the list out from under his pillow and smoothed it on the cover. “Here it is,” he said. “I’ll read it to ya Adam.” He cleared his throat. “First there was Mrs Shaunessghy, but we crossed her off cause she’s too bossy ….”

 

“I’m glad about that,” interjected Adam. “The woman is incorrigible.”

 

Hoss nodded, even though he had no idea what incorrigible meant. “Then we put down the Widow Hawkins,” he said.

 

“What?” Adam nearly dropped Joe from his lap as he grabbed the list from Hoss. “You aren’t serious? Widow Hawkins?” He looked from Joe to Hoss and then back to Joe again. “Pa would die!”

 

Hoss nodded sadly. “Yeah,” he agreed. “He didn’t seem too keen on her in the bank today.”

 

“She talks funny,” Joe informed Adam. “And she pinches my cheek, so I don’t want her neither.”

 

“Cross her off,” said Adam, giving the list back to Hoss and smiling at the thought that he was actually becoming interested in this scheme of his brothers’. “She’s no good.”

 

Hoss nodded and crossed her name from the list. “Then we had Mrs Saunders,” he continued.

 

“I done told you no!” said Joe.

 

“I agree,” said Adam, astonished to hear himself becoming involved in such things. “If Joe doesn’t like Eden, then it simply won’t work between Pa and Mrs Saunders Hoss. Even though she’s very nice, I think you’d better cross her off.” He looked thoughtful. “Now what you’ve got to do is think harder ….” He tapped his chin and looked deep in thought as Hoss sat forward eagerly and winked at Joe.

 

“Who do ya reckon Adam?” Hoss asked. “Any ideas?”

 

“Well,” said Adam. “What about Mrs Gibson?”

 

“Who?” asked Little Joe.

 

“Mrs Gibson,” repeated Adam. “You know … the woman who plays the organ at church on Sundays.” He placed his chin on his hand and stared into space. “Now there’s a thought,” he murmured half to himself. “She’s a pleasant woman and Pa seems to like her. She ….” He blinked a couple of times and then sat up straight again, giving his two brothers an accusing look. “Now what you’ve gone and done!” he said sharply. “You’ve made me start thinking about getting Pa married too!”

 

“But you should Adam,” said Hoss eagerly. “You agreed that he’s lonely.”

 

“Well … yes,” Adam admitted. “I know that he is.”

 

“And he’s gonna get even more lonely when you go to college after the summer,” continued Hoss. “He won’t have no grownups to talk to at night … just me and Joe.”

 

“Hop Sing’s a grownup,” Joe interjected. “Pa talks to him.”

 

Hoss waved the comment aside with his hand. “You know that Hop Sing goes to bed right after supper cause of how early he gets up in the morning,” he said and then turned to Adam again. “Pa needs a wife Adam, you know that he does!”

 

Adam sat silently for a moment as he considered what his brother was saying. “Yes,” he said finally. “I suppose you’re right. Only ….”

 

“Only what?”

 

“Only, don’t you think that he’s capable of picking one out for himself? He’s done pretty well the first three times with our mothers you know.”

 

“But he didn’t have us to help him then,” said Hoss. “We could make it easier for him now.”

 

Adam gave a short laugh. “Actually Hoss, Pa always said that I was the one who picked out your mother to be my Ma and his wife before he even thought of it,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye as he remembered the first time he’d even laid eyes on the woman who was to become his first stepmother.

 

“You see then?” said Hoss. “Pa don’t mind iffen we help out a bit. I reckon he needs us to.”

 

“Maybe,” said Adam, feeling himself beginning to weaken in spite of his best intentions not to. “But if we’re going to do this, then it’s got to be done properly.”

 

Hoss winked at Joe again, secure in the knowledge that their older brother was on their side now. He sat up confidently in his bed, knowing that if anyone could be guaranteed to have a good idea about how to go about this … it would be Adam.

 

“So what are we gonna do Adam?” he said. “How are we gonna get Mrs Gibson interested in Pa?”

 

Joe tugged on Adam’s sleeve. “Does Mrs Gibson have a big figure up top?” he asked. “Remember that Pa likes ladies with big figures up top.”

 

“She’s big enough,” said Adam, making a face at the thought of how ludicrous it was to be discussing such things with a four year old. “Now lets see …. hmm …. How to get them together is the problem. I suppose the obvious place would be after church on Sunday when she’s played the organ.”

 

“You could offer to sing with her,” said Hoss. “You know how she always wants you to.”

 

Adam’s eye brightened up. “Yes,” he said. “That’s a great idea Hoss. If I start her talking about music I could try and involved Pa in it too.” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got just the thing!” he said.

 

“What?” asked Hoss.

 

“What?” asked Joe.

 

“How about I offer to sing with her, but I say that I need to practise first. I could ask her to come on out here to The Ponderosa and then I could slip away and leave her with Pa. If they have some time together, then they might just ….”

 

“What is going on in here?” said a booming voice behind them and all three of them jumped slightly at the sound of their father’s voice. “Why aren’t you asleep in your own bed young man?” Ben asked Little Joe and then turned to Adam. “And why are you keeping both of them awake?”

 

Adam swallowed, his guilt obvious on his face. “I found Joe in here with Hoss Pa,” he said quickly. “I was just trying to settle him down after a bad dream. You know how he gets after one of his dreams.”

 

Joe’s face immediately looked sad and he gave his father one of his best puppy-dog expressions, for even at his tender age he was always quick to understand and respond to such situations. “I had a bad dream Pa,” he agreed. “So I came in to see Hoss.”

 

“And Adam was taking him back to bed,” agreed Hoss, also implicating himself in his brothers’ lies. “He sure was upset with this one Pa.”

 

Ben’s face immediately softened. “I see,” he said and gave Joe a sad smile. “Would you like me to carry you back to bed now son?” he asked.

 

Joe cuddled into Adam’s chest for effect. “I want Adam to,” he said in a small sad voice.

 

Adam patted his little brother on his curly head and gave him a pitiful look. “I’ll do it Pa,” he said. “You go on downstairs and finish your pipe.”

 

“All right,” said Ben. “Thank you son. And make sure you take his boots off. Lord knows why they’re still on his feet.”

 

Adam waited until his father had disappeared before standing up with Joe in his arms. “I’d better put you in your own room before Pa comes back up again,” he said.

 

Joe’s head immediately came up and all trace of worry and sorrow left it instantly. “But I wanna keep planning,” he said.

 

“Later,” said Adam. “Now you go to bed too Hoss, or we’ll make Pa suspicious. I’ll think out the details and we’ll plan some tomorrow.”

 

“OK,” said Hoss, lying back down on his bed. “Hey Adam?”

 

Adam turned in the doorway with Joe on his hip. “Yes?”

 

“I’m sure glad you’re planning with us now,” said Hoss happily. “We’re gonna find Pa a real good wife.”

 

“Yeah,” said Adam, shaking his head and wondering how he’d become so involved in the whole thing. “A real good wife. Now go to sleep.”

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Adam pulled Hoss aside as their father strode ahead of them across the churchyard. “Now …. do you remember what you have to say?” he whispered.

 

Hoss nodded. “Yup,” he said. “I’ve got it all memorised in my brain.”

 

“What do I haveta say?” asked Little Joe, jumping up and down in his excitement.

 

“Nothing,” said Adam. “But don’t forget that you have to fall down when it’s time.” He stopped as he heard his father calling them. “Coming Pa!” he shouted back. “Just follow my lead,” he added to Little Joe.

 

Joe nodded, wondering what a lead was. He scampered into the small church behind Adam and Hoss and soon all four Cartwrights were seated patiently while the small church continued fill with people. All three Cartwright boys’ eyes were fixated on the tall red-haired woman who was busy arranging her music on the organ and Ben for once was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t have to stop Little Joe fidgeting or Hoss from clearing his throat constantly as they usually did before the service.

 

Across the church, a young lady smiled at Adam and then frowned as he took no notice of her. Bertha Williams wasn’t used to being ignored and she found it difficult to understand how someone who had had followed her around with such devotion as Adam Cartwright had in the past couple of weeks should suddenly act like she wasn’t even there. Bertha followed Adam’s gaze and looked astonished as she realised that he was staring at Mrs Gibson who was seated at the organ.

 

“She’s so much older than him!” she whispered out loud and then clapped a hand over her mouth as she realised what she’d said. As she looked around quickly she was relieved to see that no one appeared to have noticed, but her eyes narrowed quickly as she felt a hot flush of anger wash over her. “Well!” she muttered under her breath. To be upstaged in Adam’s affections by another young girl was one thing, but to have someone as old as Mrs Gibson do it was unthinkable, and Bertha steeled herself to try and recapture Adam’s attention as soon as the service was over.

 

As the minister entered the church the congregation stood up and Mrs Gibson began to play the organ enthusiastically, her feet pumping the pedals strongly and her arms dashing back and forth on the keyboard as her head moved from side to side in time to the music. She looked for all the world as if she was about to launch herself off the organ seat in her enthusiasm and Adam gulped as he suddenly remembered why it was that he had politely refused many times to join her next to the organ in singing the hymns. The woman was simply very enthusiastic about her music, but at his age Adam found the whole thing rather embarrassing. Still, he mused, her enthusiasm for playing the organ certainly couldn’t be held against her as far as her suitability for being the next Mrs Cartwright was concerned and he stood up straight and sang out his loudest as he thought about it.

 

Suddenly, Adam felt a tug on his sleeve and he looked down to see Joe staring up at him intently. Little Joe motioned with his hand and Adam bent down to hear what the boy had to say. “She’s got a real big figure up top,” Joe whispered in a loud voice. Adam put his hand over the boy’s mouth and gave everyone around him an apologetic look as he realised that Joe’s voice would have carried across several pews. He avoided looking directly at his father, but he felt Joe instantly begin pulled away from him and winced as he wondered what their father had thought about the boy’s comment.

 

Hoss kept his eyes fixated on Mrs Gibson throughout the service, wondering as he did so if she’d really make a good stepmother and how good a cook she was. Eating was one of Hoss’ favourite pastimes and even though Hop Sing was a wonder in the kitchen, Hoss figured that it sure couldn’t hurt to have another great cook out at The Ponderosa.

 

So, between Hoss’ fixation on Mrs Gibson and Adam’s desire to sing up and avoid their father’s glare, Ben found that church that morning was quite a pleasant experience once he’d quietened Little Joe down and given him a good swat on the backside for that inappropriate remark he’d made when they’d first stood up. There were times when he wondered what got into his youngest son and some of the things that came out of the boy’s mouth were hard to fathom. He hoped that he hadn’t picked up such phrases from the men in the bunkhouse and he made a mental note to make sure that the child didn’t go there too often.

 

As soon as the final strains of the last hymn had ended, Adam motioned to Hoss and then took off across the church towards Mrs Gibson. “Morning Ma’am,” he said, tipping his hat to her.

 

Mrs Gibson smiled at the young man. “Well, good morning Adam,” she said.

 

“I just wanted to compliment you on your playing,” said Adam, giving the woman one of his best smiles. “It was truly lovely.”

 

Mrs Gibson stared at the young man and thought how very handsome he was. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

 

Adam cleared his throat. “Um … I was wondering if it would be all right if I took you up on that offer to sing at the services?” he asked, still smiling at the woman.

 

Mrs Gibson’s eyes lit up. “Of course it would! I’d love to have you sing with me Adam. You have a lovely voice.”

 

Adam shrugged modestly. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “So it’s a date then?”

 

“What’s a date?”

 

Adam turned to see Bertha standing behind him. “Hi Bertha,” he said dismissively and then turned back towards Mrs Gibson. “Perhaps I could walk you outside and we can discuss it?” he asked and offered her his arm.

 

Bertha’s jaw dropped as she watched Adam lead an obviously flattered Mrs Gibson to the church door. “Well I never!” she exclaimed and then flounced out of the door ahead of them.

 

As Adam appeared in the church doorway with Mrs Gibson on his arm, he nodded to Little Joe and Hoss who were standing at the top of the short flight of stairs. They both nodded back and Joe jumped a couple of times in his excitement and giggled. “Hello boys,” said Mrs Gibson, but didn’t stop for an answer as she allowed Adam to walk her down the stairs. Just as they reached the bottom one, Little Joe launched himself down towards them, bumping down each stair and he was well used to doing on the large staircase at home. “Ow!” he said for effect, as he landed at Mrs Gibson’s feet and looked up at her sorrowfully.

 

Adam didn’t move, but waited for the woman to bend down and reach out for Joe. Little Joe reached up and grabbed around the woman’s neck, forcing her to pick him up as she stood up again. He clung onto her tightly and buried his face in her shoulder to hide his giggles.

 

“Oh you poor little thing!” said Mrs Gibson when she could loosen Joe’s arms enough so that she could talk again. “Are you all right?”

 

Joe sniffed miserably a couple of times for effect and Hoss nearly giggled at the expert touch his little brother had inserted into their farce. “Joe bounces,” he said confidently to Mrs Gibson. “He’ll be all right ma’am.” He turned to their father who was standing talking to a group of people nearby. “Pa!” he called out. “Joe fell down!”

 

Ben immediately turned and strode towards them. “Little Joe!” he said. “Are you all right?”

 

Joe beamed at his father from the security of Mrs Gibson’s arms. “I’m OK now Pa,” he said. “This nice lady saved me.” He looked at the woman’s ample chest, which was level with his face and then winked at Adam and Hoss while he motioned to it. Ben didn’t see the look or the gesture because he was busy looking at Mrs Gibson and thanking her.

 

“Think nothing of it,” she replied to his thanks. “I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, that’s all.” She tried to disengage Joe’s arms from around her neck, but the small boy held on as tight as he could and refused to be budged.

 

“You’re nice,” Joe said, smiling at her. “Ain’t she nice Pa?” He beamed at his father and then glanced at Mrs Gibson’s bosom again.

 

“Yes,” said Ben, somewhat embarrassed at his youngest son’s obvious interest in the woman’s chest. He reached out and wrenched Joe from her arms, putting him on his feet and giving him a small swat on his backside. “Now go and wait for me in the buggy,” he said.

 

“Mrs Gibson stopped Joe hurting himself,” Hoss reminded his father, rather unnecessarily. He turned to the woman. “She was real good with him. Do you have children of your own, Mrs Gibson?”

 

“Well no dear, I’m afraid I don’t,” she replied. “My husband and I were never blessed in that way.”

 

Hoss sighed. “That’s a pity ma’am,” he said. “You’d sure make a good Ma. Don’t you think she’d make a good Ma, Pa?”

 

Ben looked even more embarrassed. “I’m sure she would,” he said and then tipped his hat to the woman. “Thank you again,” he said. “We must be going now, so ….”

 

“You look like you really like children,” butted in Hoss.

 

Mrs Gibson looked somewhat startled. “Well, I suppose I do,” she admitted.

 

“What a shame you ain’t got no children to cook for then,” Hoss continued. “Are you a good cook, ma’am?”

 

Mrs Gibson started to look somewhat embarrassed, so before she could open her mouth, Ben interrupted. “That will do Hoss,” he said. “Go and wait in the buggy with your brother.”

 

“Yes Pa,” said Hoss obediently and winked at Adam before he walked away.

 

“I was telling Mrs Gibson how beautiful her playing was today,” said Adam. “Didn’t you think so Pa?”

 

“It was lovely as usual,” said Ben. “Now we must be …”

 

“I’ve offered to sing with her,” continued Adam.

 

Ben looked surprised. “You have?” he said, for he knew how Adam hated to sing in public.

 

“Yes,” said Adam, beaming at Mrs Gibson and making the woman think once again how handsome he was. “I was just about to suggest that we have a practise together as well. You wouldn’t mind if Mrs Gibson came out to The Ponderosa for afternoon tea one day, would you Pa?”

 

Ben gave his son a startled look. “No, of course not,” he said. “You’d be welcome any time,” he added to the woman.

 

“That would be lovely,” she said, smiling at Adam. “But I think it would make more sense for us to practise at my home where my piano is, don’t you Adam?”

 

Adam quickly scanned his brain to come up with a good excuse for shifting the venue to The Ponderosa, but couldn’t think of anything. “Um ….” he said.

 

Mrs Gibson patted him on the arm. “Then it’s all settled,” she said. “I’ll expect you on Tuesday evening at the approximate hour of eight?”

 

“Um … well, I suppose so,” said Adam weakly, still trying to think of something to say.

 

“We’re going to make beautiful music together,” said Mrs Gibson and much to Adam’s consternation gave him a wink before she walked away.

 

Ben put a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Son, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” he asked. “She’s quite a bit older than you.”

 

Adam looked shocked. “Pa!” he said. “That’s not what was on my mind!”

 

“Well, I think it was on hers,” teased Ben. “You’re going to have to sort that out with her, I think.” He walked away to the buggy, chuckling to himself at the look of horror on his son’s face.

 

Adam stared after his father in shock at what the man had just said. “Well!” He turned to see Bertha Williams standing behind him. “So you’re meeting with the widow Gibson on Tuesday evening?” Bertha said, sarcastically. “How dare you, Adam Cartwright!”

 

Adam smiled at her. “It’s not what you think,” he said.

 

“Isn’t it?” Bertha stamped her foot. “Well here’s what I think!” She reached out and slapped Adam hard across the cheek.

 

“What was that for?” demanded Adam.

 

“You figure it out while you’re singing with Mrs Gibson!” Bertha said angrily and flounced away with a rustle of her skirts.

 

Adam stood in the middle of the churchyard holding onto his sore cheek as he stared after her. “What was that all about?” he asked out loud to no one in particular.

 

“What are you going to her place for?” demanded Hoss as he came to stand next to his brother. “I heard her say you’re gonna sing at her place on Tuesday night,” he added accusingly. “You were supposed to bring her to The Ponderosa so that Pa can meet with her!”

 

Adam sighed. “It didn’t quite work out that way,” he admitted. “But don’t worry Hoss, it will be fine. I’ll go and sing with her on Tuesday and then I’ll get her out to The Ponderosa after that.” He gave his brother a determined look. “We’ll get Pa and her together, don’t you worry.”

 

“We’d better!” said Hoss, as he followed his brother towards the buggy. “Cause I got a real good afternoon tea planned for them on Sunday. You gotta have her there after lunch and then leave the rest to me!”

 

“A real good afternoon tea?” Adam gave his brother a backward look. “You make sure you don’t get yourself into trouble in Hop Sing’s kitchen,” he warned.

 

“I won’t,” Hoss assured him. “I got it all worked out … now don’t you worry Adam. You know how good I am when it comes to organising food.”

 

“Boys!” Ben called from the buggy. “Hurry up!”  He looked down at Little Joe who was sitting beside him. “You seem to have made a remarkable recovery,” he observed dryly.

 

Joe grinned up at his father. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Ain’t Mrs Gibson a nice lady Pa?”

 

“Very nice son,” agreed Ben and hitched up the reins as Hoss and Adam clambered into the buggy behind them. Hoss patted Joe on the shoulder and winked at him, then turned to Adam and did the same. Oblivious to his plotting sons behind him, Ben turned the buggy towards home.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

Adam took a deep breath before knocking on the door and then waited until Mrs Gibson opened it. “Evening ma’am,” he said, politely taking off his hat and nodding to her.

 

“Good evening Adam,” the widow replied as she ushered him into the house. “I’m so excited about all of this.”

 

Adam smiled at her weakly. “Yes ma’am,” he said as he walked into her parlour.

 

“Please sit down,” Mrs Gibson indicated the sofa. “I have some wonderful hymns selected for us to work on,” she added.

 

Adam cleared his throat. “Well, before we start on that ma’am, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you first.”

 

Mrs Gibson sat down next to him on the sofa. “Yes?” she breathed softly.

 

Adam ran his finger around his collar before continuing. “Well, it’s about why I’m really here,” he said.

 

Mrs Gibson smiled. “I know why you’re really here,” she said.

 

“You do?”

 

Mrs Gibson edged closer to him on the sofa. “I think we both know the real reason why you wanted to see me, don’t we?” she said, smiling at him.

 

Adam edged slightly away from the woman. “I … I don’t think you understand Mrs Gibson,” he said. “I’m here because of my father.”

 

Mrs Gibson blinked a couple of times. “Your father?” she said.

 

“Yes. You see, Pa is a very lonely man. After my stepmother died …”

 

Mrs Gibson laid a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Such a tragedy,” she said.

 

“Yes. Well, after she died ….”

 

Mrs Gibson leaned towards him. “I know what it is to be lonely Adam. After my husband did I felt the same way. I’m really a very lonely woman you know, which is why I felt so flattered by your suggestion that we get together.”

 

Adam swallowed. “Oh no, you have it all wrong! You see … I’m here because of my father. I wanted to invite you to afternoon tea on Sunday to talk to him.”

 

Mrs Gibson raised her eyebrows. “Really? She said. “Well, if you think that’s absolutely necessary, then of course I’ll come and speak with him first.”

 

Now it was Adam’s turn to blink. “F … f ….. first?” he stuttered.

 

“Yes,” she said, reaching out and running her fingers through his hair. “After all, I’m a good bit older than you and you know how tongues can wag. If you’d like me to speak to your father about it all first, then of course I’ll ….”

 

“Ma’am!”

 

Mrs Gibson’s hand reached his neck. “Please call me Marjorie,” she breathed.

 

Adam swallowed again. “Marjorie …I mean …. Ma’am,” he said. “I mean ….”

 

“I meant it when I said that we could make beautiful music together,” Mrs Gibson said, leaning her body towards his.

 

Adam stood up quickly. “I have to go,” he said, abruptly.

 

Mrs Gibson stood up beside him. “So soon?” she said, obviously disappointed. “But what about the singing?”

 

“The singing will have to wait,” said Adam firmly as he grabbed his hat and headed for the front door. “Perhaps another time. I …. I have to ….” He took one last look at the woman and then ran outside.

 

Mrs Gibson leant against the front doorframe and watched him disappear into the night. She sighed. “What a shame,” she muttered. “Such a handsome young man!”

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

The kitchen was silent except for the soft popping sound of the fire in the closed oven. Suddenly a face appeared around the corner of the passageway leading into the dining room, followed by a couple of hands which clung onto the wall. “It’s OK Joe,” Hoss muttered to his brother behind him. “There’s no one here.” He stood up straight and made his way into the kitchen, followed by Joe close behind him.

 

“Are you sure you know where Hop Sing keeps everything Hoss?” asked Joe as he looked around the empty room.

 

“I’m sure,” said Hoss confidently. “I spend enough time in here, don’t I?”

 

Joe nodded, for everyone knew that the kitchen was Hoss’ favourite place to be, in amongst the smells of Hop Sing’s cooking. The boy had spent many a happy afternoon in there talking to Hop Sing as he worked and helping him by licking any spoon or bowl that might need cleaning.

 

Hoss went over to the clean bench beside the stove and picked up a large bowl and a couple of wooden spoons. “We’ll need these for a start,” he said, putting them on the large table in the middle of the room. “Now let’s see … flour, baking powder, sugar ….”  He reached for the items as he listed off each one.

 

Joe climbed up onto a chair and watched his brother with admiration. “You sure know a lot about food, don’t ya Hoss?” he said, as his brother continued to bring things to the table.

 

Hoss puffed out his chest with pride. “I reckon I do Joe,” he said. “I reckon you could call me an expert on food.”

 

“But how do you know what to put in to make cookies?” asked Joe, licking his finger and then poking it into the sugar bowl.

 

“I’ve watched Hop Sing do it lots of times,” replied Hoss, pouring a generous amount of flour into the bowl and onto the table beside it as well. “You start mixing that up Joe while I put in the rest of the stuff we need.”

 

Joe picked up one of the spoons and began enthusiastically mixing the flour, sending great clumps of it onto the surrounding table and the floor. “Careful Joe!” Hoss warning him as he poured some sugar into the bowl as well. “There won’t be nothing left in there for the cookies!”

 

Joe giggled as he continued to stir. “Mrs Gibson and Pa sure are gonna like these cookies we’re making, aren’t they Hoss?” he said. “They’re gonna have a real special afternoon tea tomorrow!”

 

“They sure are Joe,” Hoss said. He scooped up a handful of the mixture and dumped it back into the bowl and then looked around the room. “You keep stirring while I get an egg from the henhouse,” he said.

 

“There’s some eggs over there!” Joe said, pointing with his wooden spoon to the bench and spraying a generous amount of the mixture around the room as he did so.

 

“Oh yeah, thanks,” replied Hoss and grabbed one of the eggs which unfortunately slipped to the floor and broke. “Oops!” he said. “Well, never mind …. I’ll sweep that up later.” He grabbed another egg and this time managed to break it into the bowl.

 

Joe peered into the bowl. “There’s lots of eggshells in there,” he said. “Should we get em out?”

 

Hoss looked. “Just stir em in,” he said. “It don’t matter much.” He reached out and grabbed a handful of currants and threw them in, then grabbed another handful and threw them into his mouth. “Now … milk,” he said in between chewing and went to fetch the covered jug that Hop Sing had left on the bench. He slopped some of it into the bowl and some of it onto the table and the bench. “Stir that in real good Joe,” he instructed his brother.

 

Joe stood up on the chair so as to get a better grip on the spoon. “Hey Hoss?” he said. “If Hop Sing catches us in here he’s gonna be real mad, ain’t he?”

 

“I told you before Joe, Hop Sing ain’t here,” Hoss said as he slopped more milk around. “Don’t he always go to see his relatives in town on a Friday afternoon?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And didn’t he go straight after lunch as always?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well then … how’s he gonna know we’ve been in here?”

 

“Yeah,” Joe agreed, stirring with great enthusiasm and sending bit dollops of the mixture around the room. He peered into the bowl. “Hey Hoss … this is starting to look real good!”

 

“I told you that I knew how to make cookies,” said Hoss. He grabbed a baking sheet and placed it on the table. “Now you watch while I show you how to roll em up,” he said. “This is how Hop Sing does it.” He reached into the bowl and grabbed a large handful of the mixture and rolled it into a ball before placing it on the baking sheet. “See Joe? That’s how you do it.”

 

“I wanna try!” said Joe, trying to shove his brother out of the way. He also took a large handful of the sloppy mixture and rolled it into a ball before dumping it onto the tray. “That’s fun!” he said, wiping his messy hand on his head and getting a good deal of the mixture in his hair in the process. “Let’s do it again Hoss!”

 

“Alrighty,” said Hoss and the boys spent the next five minutes happily engrossed in dumping dollops of runny cookie mixture onto the tray and the table.

 

“These cookies will sure make Pa ask Mrs Gibson to marry him tomorrow afternoon,” said Joe as they worked. “She’ll think he’s real fine when he gives her some of these cookies.”

 

“Well now Joe,” said Hoss. “He might not ask her straight off you know. He might want to meet with her a couple more times before he asks her.”

 

“Why?”

 

Hoss shrugged. “So’s he can get to know her a bit I spose. That’s how grownups do it.”

 

“Oh,” said Joe. “Well, I hope he don’t take too long about it. She’s pretty and I think she’ll be a good kisser for him too.” He winked at Hoss. “She’s a good a real big figure up top too, so he’ll be happy about that fer sure!”

 

“I reckon,” agreed Hoss. “Now, that’s all done!” He looked around the messy kitchen and frowned. “We’ll get em into the oven and then we’d better clean up the kitchen,” he said. “We don’t want Hop Sing to know we’ve been in here.”

 

“But how are we gonna cook em?” asked Joe, scrambling down from the chair and following Hoss to the oven. “You know we ain’t allowed to light a fire Hoss.”

 

“We don’t need to,” said Hoss, opening the oven and putting the baking tray into it. “See? Hop Sing always keeps the fire going in there all the time.”

 

“Oh yeah,” said Joe. “I reckon you’re real smart knowing stuff like that Hoss,” he said, admiringly. “You’re as smart as Adam.”

 

Hoss’ chest puffed out again. “Adam’s smart with books,” he said. “But I’m smart with other stuff. Now…. Let’s get the kitchen cleaned up while the cookies are cooking.” He reached for a broom and stared sweeping the mess on the floor, moving it from one spot to another while Joe did the same with a cloth on the table.

 

“Hey Hoss?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Where are we gonna hide the cookies until tomorrow?” asked Joe as he worked.

 

Hoss frowned, for he hadn’t thought about that. “I reckon we can put em in my dresser drawer,” he said after a few moments. “They’ll be safe in there with my socks for one night.”

 

Joe nodded in agreement. “OK,” he said.

 

The two boys continued to work for several minutes, moving the mess from one side of the kitchen and then back again. Finally, Hoss stood back to survey the results of their labours. “It don’t look much cleaner than before,” he admitted.

 

“Why don’t I wipe it all onto the floor and then you sweep it out of the doorway?” suggested Joe. “That way Hop Sing won’t see it at all when he comes back.”

 

Hoss grinned at his brother. “That’s a great idea Joe,” he said. “You hold the door open while I sweep it outside.” Joe ran to do as his brother suggested and watched as Hoss swept the sticky mess outside. Several chickens gathered to see what was happening and immediately began to peck at it. “See?” said Hoss happily as he watched them. “They’ll get rid of it all for us.” He turned back into the kitchen again. “Now let’s check on them cookies,” he said. He opened the oven door tentatively and sniffed the air. “They smell real good,” he said.

 

“They look kinda black,” observed Joe as he poked his head in alongside his brother’s. “Are they supposed to look like that Hoss?”

 

“We can scrape the black bits off,” said Hoss confidently as he picked up a towel and pulled the baking tray out of the oven. “Grab another towel and I’ll wrap em up in it Joe.”

 

Within minutes the two boys had the hot, sticky, black mess wrapped up in towel and were standing grinning at each other by the time that the door opened. Hoss immediately put the towel behind his back and the two brothers put on their most innocent looks as they turned to face Adam who was entering the room, kicking several chickens out of his way as he did so.

 

“What are you two up to?” said Adam suspiciously, as he walked towards the pump and grabbed a glass. He looked down in disgust. “This floor’s all sticky!” he said. “What have you done?”

 

“Nothin,” said Little Joe in his best innocent voice.

 

“We’ve just been making a surprise for Pa’s afternoon tea with Mrs Gibson,” said Hoss, bringing the towel out from behind his back and showing Adam the black, sticky mess within it.

 

Adam screwed up his nose. “What is it?” he said, looking at it unbelievably.

 

“Cookies,” announced Joe proudly. “We made em ourselves!”

 

“You’re joking!” said Adam.

 

“Nope!” said Hoss.

 

Adam blinked a couple of times. “Well I told you before not to bother,” he said, shortly. “Mrs Gibson isn’t coming after all.”

 

Hoss frowned. “She’ll come,” he said, confidently.

 

“She’s not coming!” said Adam emphatically. “If you want to find Pa a wife, then you’ll have to find someone else.”

 

“But there’s no one else left on the list!” protested Hoss.

 

Adam put down his glass. “Well that isn’t my fault!” he said, huffily. “Leave me out of it!”

 

“Why’s he so mad about it all now?” asked Little Joe as their brother left the room, slamming the door behind him.

 

Hoss shrugged. “I dunno Joe,” he said. “There’s no figuring Adam sometimes. I reckon it’s those hormones of his.”

 

Joe looked at the cookies in Hoss’ hands. “All that work gone to waste!” he said. “Now she ain’t coming!”

 

Hoss gave his brother a knowing look. “She’ll come,” he said confidently. “Don’t you take no notice of what Adam says.”

 

“How do you know she’ll come Hoss?”

 

“I just know,” replied Hoss. “I reckon that brother Adam’s just jealous that Pa’s got a lady friend to marry and he ain’t got one, is all.”

 

Joe made a face. “Is that cause of his hair-moans too?” he asked.

 

Hoss nodded. “I reckon,” he said. “Let’s go and hide these cookies in with my socks Joe. Come on!”

 

The two brothers scampered across the sticky kitchen floor, giggling.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Ben looked up from his desk and stared at his two youngest sons in amazement. “What on earth are you two dressed up in your church clothes for?” he asked. “church is all over for the day, boys.”

 

Hoss ran a finger around his shirt collar. “We just thought we’d get all dressed up in case we have company Pa,” he said, nudging Joe, beside him.

 

“Yeah,” said Joe, grinning at his father. “In case we have company,” he added.

 

“Well we’re not having any company today, so both of you go upstairs and get changed before you ruin those clothes,” said their father shortly. “Go on!”

 

“But we’ll only have to get changed again when … I mean … if company arrives!” protested Hoss.

 

“There is no company!” said their father. “Now scoot!”

 

Hoss made a face, but did as he was bid and dragged a reluctant Joe up the stairs behind him. “But Hoss ….”said Joe.

 

“Shh!” said Hoss as they reached the first landing. “Pa will hear!” he waited until they had reached the top of the staircase before pulling Joe to one side. “Now listen Joe,” he said. “We’ll just wait in your bedroom and watch out of your window for when she comes. Then we’ll be all ready with the cookies. Come on!”

 

The two boys ran into Joe’s bedroom and positioned themselves at the window. “Pa’s gonna get such a surprise,” Joe said happily. “I can hardly wait for him to see her!” He glanced over at his bed where the towel with the cookies lay. “Hey Hoss? Didn’t we cook more cookies than that yesterday?”

 

Hoss looked a little guilty. “Just a few,” he admitted. “I got a bit peckish in the middle of the night, so I ate some!”

 

Joe reached out an hit his brother on the arm. “Hoss!” he said indignantly. “They were for Pa and Mrs Gibson!”

 

“There’s plenty left,” said Hoss. He grabbed Joe by the sleeve. “Hey look! Here she comes!”

 

The two boys watched as the woman drove her small buggy into the front yard. “I told you she’d come!” said Hoss happily. “That Adam! He don’t know nothing about women!”

 

Joe stood up eagerly. “Let’s go Hoss!” he shouted. “Let’s get down there and give em the cookies so that Pa can ask her to marry him!”

 

Hoss pulled Joe down again. “No,” he said. “Let’s give em chance to talk a bit first, then we’ll surprise em with the cookies.”

 

The two boys watched as Mrs Gibson got down from the buggy and stood smoothing down her skirts. From down below in the front  yard another Cartwright son also watched, but unlike his brothers upstairs, his heart was sinking as he stared at Mrs Gibson.

 

Adam swallowed as he walked towards the woman. “Mrs Gibson,” he said weakly. “I … I didn’t think that you’d … I mean.”

 

Mrs Gibson turned to smile at him. “Don’t worry Adam,” she said sweetly. “I’m not here for you.”

 

Adam’s face lifted. “You’re not?” he said.

 

She patted him on the arm. “No,” she replied. “I was just teasing you a little the other night. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

Adam breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh,” he said. “I thought … well … I thought that ….” His voice trailed away and he stood staring at her.

 

Mrs Gibson laughed. “Oh, I must admit that at first I was a little flattered,” she said. “But I quickly realised that you were sincere about coming for your father.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I just couldn’t resist having a little fun at your expense. I’m sorry Adam.”

 

Adam smiled. “That’s all right,” he said. “But if you knew … then why are you here?”

 

“Just to sort things out with your father,” she said.

 

“Sort what out with his father?” asked Ben as he came up behind them.

 

Adam swallowed. “I  … I think I need to go and ….” He tipped his hat to Mrs Gibson. “I … good day ma’am,” he finished lamely and walked quickly off into the barn.

 

Ben offered Mrs Gibson his arm. “How lovely to see you Marjorie,” he said. “Please come and have a seat.” He led her towards the front porch and seated her on a rustic wooden bench there. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” he asked politely.

 

Mrs Gibson smiled as Ben sat down beside her. “I just wanted to have a bit of a talk with you,” she said. “I think you should know that your eldest son has been plotting about us.”

 

“Adam?” said Ben, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Yes, Adam,” she replied. “Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the other two were involved in it as well. Looking back to last Sunday I started to put two and two together and I came up with three.”

 

Ben looked confused. “Three?” he said. “Three what?”

 

“Three Cartwright matchmakers,” she said, with a short laugh.

 

Ben looked even more confused. “I’m not sure that I follow you,” he said. “What are you ….” He stopped as the front door burst open and Hoss and Joe appeared, still in their Sunday best. Hoss was carrying a small towel which he held out towards them. “Afternoon ma’am,” he said politely.

 

“Afternoon ma’am,” echoed Joe. He held up a small foot for her inspection. “I got my new boots on,” he informed her.

 

“Very nice,” said Mrs Gibson with a twinkle in her eye. She looked at Ben meaningfully.

 

Ben stared at his two sons. “I see,” he said, nodding his head. “It’s all beginning to make sense now.” His eyes also started to twinkle as he exchanged a glance with Mrs Gibson. “What can we do for you boys?” he asked.

 

Hoss held the towel towards them. “These are for you,” he said.

 

Ben and Mrs Gibson looked at the blackened mess within it. “What is it?” asked Ben.

 

“Cookies,” Little Joe said proudly. “We made em just for you and Mrs Gibson Pa. We made em ourselves with no one helping us neither!” He beamed at them both.

 

“So I see,” said Ben, taking the towel gingerly from Hoss’ outstretched hands. “How nice. But may I ask why?”

 

“So’s you will both be happy and then you can ask Mrs Gibson to marry you,” said Joe. “Ow!” He reached down and rubbed his ankle. “Don’t kick me Hoss!”

 

Hoss glared at his small brother. “You weren’t sposed to tell that bit yet!” he said.

 

“Why not” asked Joe. “He’s probbly already asked her. Have you already asked her to marry you Pa?”

 

“No,” said his father, trying not to laugh aloud. “I haven’t.”

 

Hoss dragged Joe a couple of steps backwards. “Then we’ll go away and let you get on with it Pa,” he said. “Come on Joe.”

 

“Now you two just hold it right there,” said Ben firmly. “What on earth put it into your heads that I was going to ask Mrs Gibson to marry me?”

 

“You like her, don’t ya?” asked Little Joe.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And she’s real pretty,” continued Hoss. Mrs Gibson blushed and Ben looked a little embarrassed at Hoss’ words. “And you’re real lonely Pa,” Hoss continued. “And you need a wife, so ….”

 

“And she’s got a real big figure up top,” Joe finished for his brother. He leant forward and put his hands on his father’s knees as he whispered in a loud voice. “And she probbly kisses real good too Pa,” he said, grinning up at his father.

 

Ben cleared his throat as Mrs Gibson looked into the distance. There was silence for a few moments, which was finally broken by Ben. “I see,” he said. “Boys, I think we need to have a talk. “Please go and wait for me in the living room.”

 

Hoss pulled on Joe’s sleeve and winked at him. “OK Pa,” he said, happily. “Come on Joe. Let’s go inside while Pa asks her.” They scampered off into the house, leaving an amused and embarrassed Ben and Mrs Gibson behind them.

 

“I’m so sorry,” said Ben finally. “I don’t really know what else to say.”

 

Mrs Gibson smothered a giggle. “Think nothing of it Ben,” she said. “Boys will be boys.” She stood up and smoothed down her skirts again. “I think I’d best be going,” she said. “I have a feeling you and your boys have quite a bit of talking to do.”

 

“I can’t tempt you with a cookie?” Ben teased as he walked her back to her buggy.

 

She smothered another giggle. “No thank you,” she said. “They’re not good for my figure, which it seems some people believe is quite full enough already.” As they reached the buggy she stopped and put her hand on Ben’s sleeve. “I know that your boys sort of jumped in where they shouldn’t have Ben,” she said. “But …. Well … now that the subject has been raised …” She gave him a hopeful look. “If you ever feel so inclined … well, you know where I am.”

 

Ben swallowed and gave her a weak smile as he helped her up into the buggy. She smiled at him again as she turned the horses and drove them quickly out of the yard.

 

Ben stood there for a moment starting after her, lost in thought. Suddenly a movement caught his eye and he turned to see Adam disappearing into the barn. “Just a moment there young man!” he shouted. “I want to talk to you!”

 

Adam stopped and slowly turned towards his father. “Yes Pa?” he said, weakly.

 

“Come into the house,” said his father. “What I have to say needs to be heard by all three of you.” He strode into the house, followed by a reluctant Adam. He motioned for his son to sit next to Hoss and Joe who were already sitting on the sofa, and then sat down facing the three of them. “Well?” he said.

 

Adam cleared his throat. “Pa, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have become involved in all of this.”

 

Ben raised his eyebrows. “No, you shouldn’t,” he agreed. “I’m surprised at you Adam, really I am.” He gestured to Hoss and Joe who were grinning at him. “These two I can understand, but not you!”

 

Adam hesitated. “Well it was all Hoss’ idea,” he said.

 

Hoss smiled at his father. “Yeah, it was,” he said, trying to sound modest. “It was all my idea Pa. Adam and Joe just helped out.”

 

“I helped with the cookies!” interjected Little Joe. “And I helped Hoss with the list too!”

 

Ben’s jaw dropped. “The list?” he said, weakly. “You actually had a list?”

 

“Yep!” said Hoss proudly.

 

“You should be thankful I got involved at all Pa,” said Adam. “Before I came along they had Widow Hawkins and Mrs Shaunessghy on the list.”

 

Ben’s jaw dropped even further. “Heaven forbid!” he said exclaimed.

 

“I know,” said Adam, warming up to the topic now. “So actually Pa, you should probably thank me.”

 

Ben turned to look at his eldest son. “I should thank you?” he said, sarcastically. “Really?”

 

Adam sat back on the sofa and swallowed at the tone of his father’s voice. “Well, sort of,” he muttered.

 

“So have you asked her yet?” asked Hoss eagerly. “Did she say yes? When are you gonna marry her Pa?”

 

Ben took a deep breath. “Hoss, I’m not asking Mrs Gibson to marry me,” he said.

 

Hoss and Joe frowned. “But Pa …” began Hoss.

 

Ben put up a hand to silence the boy. “Now you just sit there and listen,” he said. “All of you. “I’m not marrying Mrs Gibson or anyone else. If and when I decide to marry again it will be someone who I choose, not you! Do I make myself clear?”

 

Little Joe stood up and came to stand in front of his father. He placed his hands on Ben’s knees and looked up at him sorrowfully. “But Pa,” he said. “You’re lonely and you have to get married so that you’ll have a lady for company.”

 

Ben’s expression softened and he picked the small boy up and sat him on his lap. “Now listen,” he said looking first at Joe and then Adam and Hoss. “I appreciate what you tried to do, even if your methods left a little to be desired. But the plain truth of it is that I don’t want to get married right now.”

 

“But Pa, I’m nearly five!” Joe held up five fingers to show his father.

 

Ben looked confused. “What has that got to do with it?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

 

“I ‘splained to Joe how you always get married when one of us is five,” Hoss said. “So I reckoned it was about time that you did.” He gave his father a pitying look. “We reckoned you needed some help picking out the lady cause you didn’t seem to be having no luck on your own,” he added.

 

Ben put his hand over his mouth to stop his laughter and turned it into a cough instead. He glanced over at Adam who was also trying not to laugh. “I see,” he finally said. “Well Hoss, your ages has nothing to do with it. I just happened to get married the last two times when you and Adam were around five years old.”

 

“So you don’t need ta get married when I turn five?” asked Joe, his eyes wide.

 

“No son, I don’t need to get married.”

 

Hoss frowned. “But Pa … you’re lonely and when Adam goes to college you’ll get even more lonely.”

 

Ben nodded. “Yes,” he said. “That’s true. But it doesn’t mean that I’m going to marry someone just because I’m lonely Hoss. I’m not in love with anyone at the moment and until I am … if I ever am again … well, things will just remain the way they are.” He looked at all three boys sternly. “Do I make myself clear?” he added.

 

Adam nodded. “Yes sir,” he said. “I won’t interfere again.”

 

Hoss nodded. “Yes Pa,” he said. “I understand.”

 

Ben waited. “Little Joe?” he said, finally.

 

Joe looked at his father. “What?” he asked.

 

“Do you understand?” Ben asked again, trying to keep his patience.

 

Joe nodded. “Yes Pa, I understand,” he said solemnly. “Only don’t go marrying no one with a bruvva for me, will you?”

 

“A bruvva? I mean … a brother?” asked his father.

 

“Joe didn’t want you to marry Mrs Saunders,” explained Hoss. “He don’t like Eden for his brother.”

 

Ben laughed and hugged the little boy. “Joseph I promise you that I’d never marry anyone if it causes a problem for any one of you,” he said. “And if I ever do decide to get married again you three will be the first to know. The next Mrs Cartwright will be someone that everyone is happy with. Deal?”

 

“Deal,” said Adam.

 

“Deal,” said Hoss.

 

“Deal,” said Joe. He clambered down from his father’s lap. “I’m gonna get changed now Pa,” he said. “I don’t like wearing my Sunday best all day.”

 

“I don’t blame you son,” said Ben. “Hoss, go and get changed as well.”

 

Hoss stood up. “OK Pa,” he said. “Are you gonna try the cookies now?”

 

Ben coughed slightly as he eyed off the black cookies where he’d laid them on the coffee table. “Yes,” he said. “I will eat every one of them while you’re upstairs getting changed. I’m sure they’ll be delicious.” He waited until Hoss and Joe had disappeared around the top of the staircase before standing up and throwing the cookies into the fireplace and then turning to Adam and laughing. “Now I understand why Hop Sing was complaining about his kitchen floor being all sticky last night,” he said.

 

Adam shrugged. “They meant well Pa,” he said. “We all did.”

 

“I know son,” said Ben, coming to rest an hand on Adam’s shoulder. “But I have a feeling that the next Mrs Cartwright might be your choice, not mine.”

 

Adam looked shocked. “Pa!” he said. “I’ve got lots of living to do before I even think of settling down and getting married!”

 

Ben chuckled. “Just teasing, Adam,” he said. “Just teasing.”

 

 

 

The End