Summary:  Ben explains to each of his sons why he and their mothers chose their names.
Rating:  G  4,250 words

What’s in a Name?

Hoss glared at Joe across the table as his younger brother reached out and deftly speared a large baked potato onto his fork. “I was gonna have that big one!” he said crossly.

“Too late,” replied Joe, before stuffing the potato whole into his mouth. “Ya gotta be quick,”

“I wonder what’s keeping your brother?” mused Ben as he picked up his knife and fork.  “It’s not like him to be late for supper.”

“He’s most likely stopped to have a drink at the Silver Dollar,” said Joe through a mouthful of potato.

Ben frowned at his youngest son. “Don’t talk with your mouth full please, Joseph,” he said sternly. “How many times have I told you that?”

Joe swallowed before replying. “Sorry Pa,” he said.

“Besides, I’m sure you’re wrong,” continued Ben. “Adam knows better than to drink in the middle of the week. He has too much of a sense of responsibility to do that when he’s supposed to be working.”

Joe pointed his fork at his father. “You might be surprised,” he said, knowingly. “Older brother ain’t quite so responsible as he always seems. Just because he’s in town getting supplies don’t mean that he …”

His word was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. “Sorry I’m late,” called out Adam as he put a saddlebag on the credenza and then began taking off his hat and jacket. “I got held up in town.”

Joe winked at his father in a conspiratorial fashion, but when Ben chose to ignore the gesture he turned and winked at Hoss instead.

“Busy in town?” asked Ben as Adam sat down.

“Sure is,” replied Adam as he helped himself to some beef. “What are you doing?” he added crossly as Joe leant towards him and sniffed the air furtively.

“Nuthin,” said Joe, trying to sound casual as he sniffed again.

“I got the mail,” added Adam to his father. “Stop it!” He swatted Joe, who was still sniffing, away. “Have you got a cold or something?”

“Your brother has decided that you’ve been drinking in town,” interjected Ben as he glared at Joe.

Adam rolled his eyes and then turned to breathe heavily in Joe’s direction. “Satisfied?” he asked, sarcastically.

Joe looked momentarily abashed as he muttered something under his breath.

“What was that?” asked Ben, sharply.

“I said that he coulda been,” countered Joe, a touch defensively.

“Well I wasn’t, so shut up about it,” said Adam and Joe slunk down in his seat and said nothing as he continued to eat. “Millie Simpson’s had her baby,” announced Adam after a moment or two. “Another girl.”

“Oh?” said Ben. “I wonder what they’ll call this one?”

“Abe was in town and I spoke to him. Seems that they’re going to call it Gertrude after her Millie’s mother,” replied Adam as he picked up his knife and fork.

“Gertrude!” said Hoss with a wry expression. “Poor kid!”

Joe spluttered into his coffee cup before snorting softly. “Funny name,” he agreed. “I wonder why they give all their kids such funny names?”

“Gertrude is a perfectly respectable name,” said Ben primly.

“Well it might be respectable, but you’ve got to admit that it’s kinda funny,” said Joe.

“Names are subjective,” observed Adam mildly.

“Huh?” said Hoss, looking puzzled.

“Not everyone is bound to agree on names,” his brother continued. “Take your name for example ….”

“You leave my name outta this!” muttered Hoss, his expression turning to a frown. “It’s jest a nickname and you know it. As a matter of fact, Pa told me that you’re the one responsible fer giving it to me in the first place, older brother.”

“Not quite true,” said Adam. “I remember it well and all I did was remind Pa what your Uncle Gunnar had said.”

“That’s right,” interjected Ben. “It was your Uncle Gunnar who told us what the word Hoss meant … a big friendly mountain man.” He patted Hoss’ hand where it lay on the table next to his. “And it suits you well,” he added.

Hoss grinned at his father. “Thanks Pa,” he said, nodding slightly. “I don’t mind it at all … in fact, I’m kinda fond of it.” He turned to Adam again and pointed towards him with his knife. “But I won’t have anyone making fun of it neither,” he added, meaningfully.

“I wasn’t making fun of it,” countered Adam quickly. “In fact, if you had let me finish what I was about to say without interruption, I was talking about your real name.”

“Eric?” said Hoss. “What about it?” He gave his brother a puzzled look, for it wasn’t often that any of the family used his given name … except for his father ….. and that was only when he was extremely angry with him.

Adam tried again. “Well your name …. Eric …” he continued. “It’s not a very common name around these parts and lots of people maybe wouldn’t like it because it sounds a bit different to them.”

“I like it,” said Hoss quickly. “It’s not my fault if it ain’t a popular name.” He thought for a moment. “Pa? How come you gave me a name that no one else in these parts has, anyways?”

“Your mother and I never even stopped to consider if the name was common or not,” said Ben. “I’m a firm believer in choosing names because you like them …. Not because they’re popular or not.”

“Well how come ya did choose it?” persisted Hoss. “It not being well-know and all.”

“Actually, it wasn’t my choice. Your mother chose it,” replied his father. “It’s a Scandinavian name ….”

“And her being from Sweden and suchlike I can understand her choosing it then,” interrupted Hoss.

“ … and it was her father’s name,” finished Ben. “She was very close to her father and wanted to honour him by naming you after him.”

Hoss nodded thoughtfully. “Well then, I don’t have a problem if it’s a popular name or not,” he said. “I guess it’s a right honour to be named after someone. Specially a relative.”

“Well, that depends who you’re being named after, I guess,” said Adam. “Would you have wanted to be named after your Uncle Gunnar?”

Hoss made a face and nodded. “I reckon not,” he said.

“Yeah,” agreed Joe. “I sure am glad that your father had a decent name like Joseph, Pa. Otherwise I could have ended up with a real stinker.”

“Like Francis?” asked Adam sweetly.

Joe gave his brother a dark look. “Don’t you call me that!” he said angrily.

“Why not?” It’s your name, isn’t it?” asked Hoss with a chuckle.

“My middle name,” said Joe, giving his other brother a dark look as well. “And you know I don’t like anyone calling me that!”

“Francis is a fine name,” said Ben soothingly. “You should be proud of it, Joe.”

“Well, sorry as I am to upset you Pa, I just can’t stand it,” said Joe, in a milder tone. “I can’t for the life of me think why you ever chose it for my middle name.”

“I didn’t,” replied his father easily. “Your mother did. And if you don’t like it, just be thankful that she didn’t get her way and give it to you for your first name instead.”

Joe gave his father a horrified look. “You ain’t serious!” he said.

Adam chuckled. “He is,” he said, obviously enjoying the look on his brother’s face. “Now if I remember rightly, she actually wanted to call you Francois, little brother.”

Joe’s jaw dropped as he stared at his father and brothers in silence.

“That’s right,” added Hoss. “It was gonna be Francois Joseph until Pa talked her out of it.”

“Francois was her father’s name,” explained Ben. “I finally got her to agree that instead of the French form, Francis was more appealing for an American boy and ….”

“It ain’t appealing for anyone!” interrupted Joe quickly. “How could you let her Pa? How could you agree to it?”

“You didn’t know your Ma the way we did,” said Hoss. “She had a real way of getting what she wanted.”

“She sure did,” agreed Adam. “You should be grateful to Pa for getting her to change her mind that much, instead of blaming him.”

Joe considered the remark. “Well, I suppose it’s OK as long as most people don’t know about it,” he said. “All I know is that I’d much rather be know as Joe than Francis … or Francois …. or anything else.” He eyed off his brothers cagily for a moment before adding. “Do Hoss and Adam have middle names Pa? I don’t think I’ve ever heard em.”

“They certainly do,” said Ben. “Adam is named after me …. Adam Benjamin.”

“Hmm,” said Joe, in a disappointed tone. “Well, that ain’t bad. How about Hoss?”

“Hoss’ middle name is John after my brother,” said Ben. “Eric John. His mother and I thought it had a nice sound to it.”

Hoss beamed at his younger brother, secure in the knowledge that he didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to his middle name.

“So. I’m the only one who got lumbered with a rotten middle name then?” said Joe grumpily. “That don’t seem fair.”

Adam shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. It seems fair to me,” he said happily.

Joe’s eyes narrowed. “Well, you can talk,” he said. “Getting named after a book character ain’t exactly anything to be proud of.”

“Adam is named after more than a character in a book,” said Ben quickly. “He’s named after the first man ….”

“I know, I know,” sighed Joe, putting up his hand to silence his father. “You’ve told it all before Pa. His Ma liked some funny book …”

“Paradise Lost,” said Adam, primly. “It’s a fine book.” He spoke without much conviction in his voice, however, for upstairs in his room was that very same book which he’d tried to read many times over the years without success. It seemed to him that his mother had indeed had very strange taste in literature, but he would never had admitted that to anyone … least of all his youngest brother who would never have let him forget the admission.

Ben’s eyes took on a faraway look. “She certainly loved to read,” he said wistfully. “And Paradise Lost was indeed one of her favourite books. He cleared his throat and looked somewhat contrite. “Not that I ever read it right through,” he admitted. “I must say that I found it rather dry in parts.” Adam made a face, but said nothing. “If you had turned out to be a girl son, we intended to call you after your mother …. Elizabeth,” Ben added, somewhat as an afterthought.

“Really?” said Adam, sitting up straight in his chair and staring at his father. “I don’t think you ever told me that.”

Ben smiled at his eldest son. “Yes,” he said. “And a lovely name it is too.”

“Wouldn’t that have got a bit confusing?” wondered Hoss. “I mean … if Adam’s Ma had lived and all … having two Elizabeths in the same house?”

“We intended to shorten it,” replied Ben.

“Elizabeth!” said Joe, looking at his brother with a wicked glint in his eye. “That’s a great idea! We coulda called him Betty!” He and Hoss giggled as Adam now found it was his turn to give both his brothers a dark look.

“Actually, we were considering Beth,” said Ben, ignoring his two youngest sons. “I think that’s rather pretty for a girl.”

“I prefer Betty,” giggled Joe. “Betty Cartwright!” His voice took on a high-pitched tone. “Yoo Hoo! Miss Betty! Over here!”

“And what was Joe going to be called if he was a girl?” mused Adam out loud, giving his brother a challenging look. “Let me think … what was it now?”

Joe’s face instantly fell. “What?” he said quickly. “It had better not be something bad.” He gave his father a pleading look. “Please tell me it weren’t something bad Pa!”

Ben tried to hide the look of amusement on his face. “Actually, your mother was convinced that you were going to be a girl,” he said. “It came as quite a surprise to her that you turned out to be a boy in the end.”

“Why did she think I was a girl?” asked Joe incredulously.

“Well …. I suppose because I already had two sons … she was hoping to finally give me a daughter,” said Ben. “Not that I minded,” he added quickly as he saw Joe’s face fall. “When you were born we were both thrilled with you and it made no difference whether you were a boy or a girl. In fact I kept telling your mother all along that she was wrong and you were a boy.”

“Why?”

“Because you never stopped wriggling, even before you were born,” said Ben with a fond smile at the young man.

“And you ain’t never stopped since,” added Hoss with a chuckle. “So what was Joe gonna be if he was a girl?” he persisted. “I don’t remember Ma and you talking about it when I was a young’un.”

“Angelique,” said Ben. “After your mother’s favourite teacher when she was growing up. Sister Angelique taught her at the convent in New Orleans.”

“Angelique,” mused Joe. “That ain’t bad. Sounds a bit like an angel.”

“So even if you’d been a girl, they would have had to change it,” said Adam with a grin. “One look at you and everyone knew you weren’t an angel.”

“More like a devil,” agree Hoss gleefully. “What was my name gonna be iffen I was a girl Pa?”

“More beef son?” said Ben, picking up the platter of beef and holding it out to Hoss. “There’s plenty left.”

“Thanks Pa,” said Hoss, taking some. “Sure is good.” He took a couple of bites and then asked again. “So? What was my name gonna be?”

“I think I’ll see if Hop Sing has any more of these delicious baked potatoes in the kitchen,” said Ben, evasively. “Hop Sing?”

Hop Sing’s head appeared around the corner of the passageway that led to the kitchen. “What for you all time yell?” he demanded crossly.

“Are there any more of these baked potatoes left?” asked Ben. “They are truly delicious. You’ve outdone yourself tonight with the meal.”

Hop Sing’s expression softened. “I bring,” he said and his head disappeared again.

“You never said what Hoss’s girl name was Pa,” Joe reminded his father, helpfully.

“Didn’t I?” said Ben vaguely. He turned to Adam. “So what was in the mail today son?”

“Nothing exciting,” said Adam, giving his brothers a meaningful look. “Don’t tell me you didn’t have a name picked out for Hoss if he was a girl Pa.”

“N … no,” admitted Ben slowly. “We had a name picked out, all right.”

“You’re acting like I won’t like it or nothing,” said Hoss, giving his father a curious look. “Was I gonna be named after someone awful?”

“Not at all,” his father assured him. “You were going to be named after your mother’s mother and mine .. in that order,” he said.

“And their names were?” asked Adam.

“My mother’s name was Martha,” said Ben.

There was silence for a moment.

“That’s pretty,” said Hoss. “Ain’t nothing wrong with that. What was my Ma’s Ma’s name?”

“Son, you’ve got to remember that I loved your mother very much,” said Ben quickly. “I would have done anything for her … and she had her heart set on naming you for one of her parents.”

“In other words, just be grateful you was a boy,” said Joe cheekily. “His Ma’s Ma’s name must have been a real bad one, eh Pa?”

“Not something I’d necessarily choose,” admitted Ben, with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I gotta know it Pa,” insisted Hoss. “Them two know their girl names so it’s only fair.” He took a deep breath. “I can handle it,” he said. “Tell me.”

Ben swallowed. “Brunhilde,” he said.

There was silence for a long while. Adam and Joe gave Hoss sympathetic looks, but said nothing, while Hoss simply sat with a faraway look on his face.

“Your mother thought it was a beautiful name,” said Ben finally.

The silence deepened.

“It’s also Scandinavian,” added Ben, beginning to sound desperate.

“How could you do it to him Pa?” asked Adam, finally. “Your own son!”

“But that’s the whole point,” said Ben, a touch defensively. “He wasn’t a girl in the end …. and I must say I did breathe a sigh of relief when I found out that he wasn’t … so I never had to face naming him … I mean her … that.”

“But you was gonna!” said Hoss, sounding quite miffed.

“I thought you said you could handle it?” asked Joe cheekily.

Hoss glared at his brother. “You wanna be know as Francis for the rest of yer life, little brother?” he threatened.

Joe quickly shut his mouth and said nothing.

Hoss patted his father’s hand. “Don’t worry about it Pa,” he said. “It never happened, so we’ll just all ferget about it, I reckon.” He looked at both his brothers meaningfully. “Adam nodded and Joe, after a moment’s hesitation, did the same.

“Yes,” said Ben, in a much brighter tone. “That’s the best thing to do.” He smiled at Hop Sing as the man came into the room carrying a plate of baked potatoes. “Thank you Hop Sing,” he said.

“Hey Hop Sing,” said Joe, as he speared yet another potato. “We’ve been talking about names and suchlike. How’d you get your name?”

“Hop is common name in Old China,” replied Hop Sing proudly. “Many Hop in China.”

“Many hop in China!” said Joe, laughing at the joke. He looked at Hop Sing’s expressionless face and the smile quickly drained from his face. “Weren’t you making a joke?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

“No,” said Hop Sing, glaring at him. “Is true. Many Hop in China. Family name go back many generations.”

“Huh?” said Hoss. “Ain’t Hop your first name?”

“No,” explained Hop Sing. “Hop family name. My uncle Hop, my cousins Hop, everyone in family Hop.”

“They all hop!” snorted Joe in spite of himself.

“Joseph!” said Ben. “Control yourself please or leave the table!” Joe tried to stop his laughter by putting his hand over his mouth, but only succeeded in smothering it a little.

“It’s the Chinese custom,” Adam explained to Hoss. “The family name comes before the person’s individual name.”

“Is right,” said Hop Sing, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding his head. “Sing my own name … Hop my family name.”

“I see,” said Hoss thoughtfully. “So is Sing a popular name in China too?”

“Yes,” replied Hop Sing. “Many Sing in China also.”

“Many sing in China!” giggled Joe.

“Yes,” said Hop Sing, glaring at the young man. “Many Hop and many Sing in China. Why that funny?”

“Many hop and many sing in China!” giggled Joe delightedly. His shoulders began to shake with the effort of trying to keep the laughter inside himself and his face began to turn slightly red.

“Joseph!” snapped his father. He turned to Hop Sing. “Please excuse Joseph, Hop Sing,” he said. “He doesn’t mean to be rude.”

Hop Sing glared at Joe for a moment, then picked up a spoon and hit him on the side of the head with it before flouncing from the room.

“Joseph!” said Ben again. “Now look what you’ve done! He’ll probably be threatening to go back to Old China for the next week!”

“Well if he does, I hope he’s prepared to hop and sing a lot while he’s there,” giggled Joe. He looked around the table at his father and brother’s and shrugged. “It was a joke,” he explained. “You see ….”

“We get the joke,” interrupted Adam. “We just don’t happen to think it’s funny.”

Joe made a face and then shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I did,” he muttered.

“Hey Pa?” said Hoss suddenly. ‘Seeing as how we’re talking about names, what does the name Cartwright mean?”

“Don’t be stupid,” interrupted Joe. “Cartwright is just a name. It don’t mean anything.”

“Don’t call your brother stupid young man!” snapped Ben, causing Joe to jump slightly in his seat.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking at the tablecloth.

“Actually that’s where you’re wrong, younger brother,” said Adam. “Every name means something.”

“Yeah?” countered Joe, looking up again. “Well if that’s so, then what’s it mean professor?” He gave his brother a challenging look.

“I’m not quite sure,” replied Adam mildly, “but my guess would be that it most likely originated from something to do with carts. It probably means a cart maker or something similar.”

“That’d suit me then,” said Hoss in a satisfied tone. “I reckon I’d enjoy making carts.”

“It’s an English name originally,” said Ben.

“So did your Pa come from England then?” asked Joe, looking interested at the thought of it.

“Not my father,” replied Ben. “He was born in America, as was his father before him. I suppose that one of his ancestors did, way back though. Cartwrights have been around for many generations.”

“You haven’t told us about your name Pa,” piped up Joe suddenly. “Were you named after anyone?”

“I certainly was,” answered Ben. “I was named for my father’s brother … my Uncle Benjamin. Unfortunately though, he died when I was quite young and I don’t really remember him at all.”

“What about a middle name?” asked Adam. “Do you have one?”

Ben hesitated a moment before answering. “Yes,” he said shortly.

“Well?” prompted Adam. “What is it?”

There was silence as they all looked at their father expectantly. When Ben said nothing, Joe finally broke the silence. “Ain’t you gonna tell us Pa?” he asked.

“No,” replied Ben. “I’m not.”

“Why not?” persisted Joe. “Don’t ya like it?”

“Not particularly,” replied his father.

The three brothers exchanged glances around the table. “I still think you should tell us what it is,” said Adam.

“Yeah,” agreed Joe. “How come you get to know all our names and we don’t get to know yours? That ain’t fair!”

Hoss shot his younger brother a withering look. “He’s the one that gave us the names, remember?” he said sarcastically. “Of course he knows em!”

“Oh yeah,” said Joe weakly. “I reckon.”

“Precisely,” said Ben, a touch defensively. “My name is my own business and I expect the three of you to respect that. There are some things that a father gets to keep to himself if he chooses to.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Well, no offence Pa,” he said. “But do you think that’s practical? After all, one day we’ll need to know it to …. well … to put on your tombstone.”

Ben’s face darkened. “I will not lie for all eternity under that name!” he snapped. “A simple Benjamin Cartwright will suffice, thank you very much!”

“But Pa ….” began Hoss.

“But Pa, nothing!” snapped Ben as he stood up from the table. “And that is an end to this discussion boys. My middle name is my own business and no one else’s!”  He glared at each of them in turn. “Is that clear?”

Each of the boys nodded their heads. “Sure thing Pa,” said Adam quickly. “We didn’t mean anything by it.”

Ben glared at each of them again and then strode from the room.

“Must be a real stinker,” mused Joe after a moment or two.

“I’ll say,” agreed Adam. “I mean … if he was willing to call Hoss Brun …. I mean … the name we won’t mention, then his own must be far worse.”

Hoss shot Adam a grateful look for not mentioning the name, before adding, “Yeah, must be a real bad’un. I wonder what it is?”

Joe’s face took on a crafty look. “I’ll bet we can find out,” he said. “Maybe Pa’s got his birth certificate hidden away somewhere? We could look for it.”

Adam frowned. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” he said. “You heard what Pa said …. It’s his own business. I suppose if he doesn’t want to share it, then we shouldn’t pry.”

“Aw, come on Adam!” said Joe in a frustrated tone. “Don’t you wanna know what it is?”

“Well … yes,” admitted Adam. “But …”

“Come on Hoss,” said Joe, ignoring his eldest brother as he sprang to his feet. “You check out the attic and I’ll go through his dresser drawers in his bedroom.”

Hoss grinned at Joe, shrugged his shoulders in Adam’s direction and then got to his feet as well.

Adam watched as his two brothers left the room, Joe scampering quickly up the stairs and Hoss following at a slower pace. After a moment, he held up his hands in a gesture of defeat before muttering to himself, “I guess I’ll check his study then.”

As Adam stood up and left the table, a face appeared from around the passageway leading to the kitchen. “Hmph!” said Hop Sing crossly as he surveyed the now-empty room. “Have feeling Mr Ben very angry with sons tomorrow. Hop Sing best go back Old China and stay away from all yelling!” His face split into a wide grin as he added in a playful tone, “Maybe hop and sing while there too!”

Adam looked up at the sound of the soft laughter from the direction of the dining room table, but saw nothing. He shrugged as he opened the top drawer of his father’s desk ….

The End