Summary:  Little Joe finds it hard to sleep.
Rating:  G   5,830 words

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Ben Cartwright stretched his aching muscles as he looked across the room. It had been a long tiring day and he was feeling the effects of it. ‘Joseph, time for bed,’ he said. ‘Say good night to everyone now.’

Little Joe looked up from his position in front of the fireplace where he was playing with his toy soldiers. They were spread out on the coffee table in front of him and he was waging a great battle with them. ‘I ain’t sleepy yet,’ he said before going back to positioning his troops.

‘I said bed Joseph,’ said Ben firmly. ‘Pack away those toys now and get upstairs please.’

Little Joe frowned at his father. ‘But I ain’t…’ his voice trailed away as he noticed the expression on the man’s face.  He gave a dramatic sigh and began to pack away the toys into their box, making the task as slow as he possibly could.  Ben raised an eyebrow as he watched him, making no comment.  Eventually the boy finished and glanced over at his father. ‘Do I have ta go now?’ he whined.

‘Yes,’ said Ben. ‘I’ll be upstairs soon to tuck you in.  Now go.’

Little Joe stood up. ‘But I wanna have a story,’ he whined. ‘I ain’t sleepy.’

Adam looked up from behind his book. ‘I’ll take him up Pa,’ he said obligingly. ‘Come on squirt, I’ll tell you a story as well.’

Little Joe jumped up happily and pulled on his brother’s hand. ‘Come on then,’ he said. ‘Will ya tell me the one bout the dragon?’

‘Thank you,’ mouthed Ben to Adam as his two sons climbed the staircase.  He turned back to Hoss again who was seated beside him at the small table, counting on his fingers. ‘Have you finished those yet?’ he asked.

Hoss looked up at his father, his face a study of concentration. ‘I’m trying Pa,’ he said. ‘But these problems are right hard.’  He gave a sigh and shook his head. ‘I can’t seem ta get em ta add up.’

Ben bent over his son’s homework again and there was silence for the next twenty minutes as they both concentrated on the problems together.  ‘See?’ said Ben finally with a slap on his son’s back. ‘I told you that you could do them.’

Hoss shut his book with a slam. ‘Finally,’ he said. ‘They’re hard ones Pa.’

‘Off to bed now son,’ said Ben as he lit his pipe. He smiled at Adam as he came down the stairs. ‘Little Joe asleep?’ he asked.

Adam shook his head as he settled himself into his chair again. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I ended up telling him two stories though so I’ve done my share.  He’ll likely drop off in a few minutes.’

‘Up to bed Hoss,’ said Ben. ‘Hurry up now.’

‘Night Pa, night Adam,’ said Hoss as he clutched his book to his chest and lumbered up the stairs.’

‘Night son,’ said Ben as he began to blow smoke rings towards the ceiling. He was thoughtful for a moment before speaking. ‘Adam, I’ve been thinking about those fences,’ he said. ‘I think we should …’ He stopped as a movement at the top of the stairs caught his eye. ‘Is that you Joseph?’ he called.

There was another movement and a small nightshirt-clad figure appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘I ain’t sleepy,’ whined Little Joe. ‘I done told ya that before Pa.’

‘Bed!’ ordered Ben. ‘I’m coming up there in a minute and you’d better be under those covers young man!’  Little Joe scampered away and disappeared again.  Ben chuckled softly and put down his pipe. ‘I’d better go up and make sure he’s in there,’ he said. ‘We’ll talk about those fences in few minutes son.’

‘Sure Pa,’ said Adam, opening his book again and settling into his chair.

Ben climbed the stairs and headed straight for Little Joe’s room.  As he had expected, the boy was lying in his bed with his eyes wide open. Ben sat down on the edge of the bed and turned down the lamp. ‘Close your eyes and go to sleep,’ he said.

‘I told my eyes ta go to sleep, but they ain’t listening,’ replied Little Joe seriously. ‘They ain’t tired yet.’

‘Nevertheless that’s what its time to do,’ said Ben as he tucked the blankets around the child and bent forward to kiss him. ‘Goodnight son.’

‘Pa?’

‘Yes?’

‘Can I have a drink of water?’

Ben picked up the glass of water that was on the dresser beside the bed and turned up the lamp again. ‘Hurry up,’ he said, handing it to the boy and trying not to smile as he watched him drink as slowly as possible. ‘That’s enough,’ he said after a moment and took the glass from him. ‘You don’t want to wet the bed.’

Little Joe stared at his father ‘Pa, can you tell me bout the time you saw the whales in the ocean?’ he asked with his most innocent face.

‘You’ve already had two stories from Adam,’ said Ben, pushing the child back down under the covers. ‘That’s enough for one night.’  He turned down the lamp again before standing up. ‘Good night Joseph,’ he said firmly.

‘Night Pa …. Hey Pa?’

‘Yes?’

‘You ain’t going ta bed yet is ya?’

‘No.  I’m going downstairs with Adam for a while.’  Ben walked to the door and half closed it behind him.

‘Pa?’

‘Yes?’

‘Good night.’

‘Good night son.’

Ben walked across the hallway to check on Hoss who was also under the covers.  He tucked him in and kissed him as well before leaving the room and heading back downstairs again.

Hoss was just snuggling down under the covers when he heard a small noise near his door.  He lifted his head and spied a small white figure standing there. ‘Is that you Joe?’ he asked softly.

‘Yeah.’

‘Whatcha doing in here?  Pa’s gonna be mighty mad iffen he finds out you’re outta bed,’ said Hoss.

‘I can’t sleep,’ whispered Little Joe. ‘Can I come in wiv you and talk for a while?’

‘No,’ said Hoss sleepily. ‘I’m tired and I’m gonna go ta sleep. Get back ta bed.’  There was silence for a few minutes before Hoss looked over to the doorway again. ‘You still there?’ he said.

‘Yep.’

‘Why don’t ya count sheep or something iffen ya can’t go to sleep?’ asked Hoss grumpily.

‘Huh?’

‘Count sheep,’ repeated Hoss.

‘Count em doing what?’

‘I don’t know … jumping over fences I think.’

‘Why?’

‘Cause … Pa told me once it helps ya go ta sleep.’

‘OK.  Thanks Hoss.’

Hoss snuggled down into his pillow again and was just drifting off when he heard a soft noise again next to his bed and felt a gentle shaking. ‘Hey Hoss?’

‘What?’

‘Them sheep what you told me ta count.  It ain’t working.’

‘How come?’

‘I dunno. They won’t jump over the fence when I tell em to.  And I can’t count over twenty, so there ain’t enough of em ta make me go to sleep anyways.’

‘I’m gonna pound ya Joe if ya don’t leave me alone,’ said Hoss and put his pillow over his face. ‘Go away!’

Little Joe looked at his brother mournfully and sat down next to his bed on the floor while he waited to get sleepy.  After a few minutes he heard a soft snoring sound and knew that Hoss had fallen asleep.  With a sigh he stood up and left the room.

++++++++++

Adam stretched in his chair lazily and smiled at Hop Sing as he entered with a tray. ‘Thanks Hop Sing,’ he said. ‘How did you know I just felt like coffee?’

Hop Sing smiled at him and said nothing as he put the tray on the table. ‘Coffee Pa?’ asked Adam as he leant forward to pour a cup.

Ben looked across from his desk where he was finishing the accounts. ‘Thank you,’ he said absently.  He closed the ledger with a smile and stood up, but then frowned as he saw a slight movement behind the Indian rug that hung on the landing of the staircase.  He put his finger to his lip and motioned for Adam to be quiet as he softly walked towards it.  Bending down he saw a pair of small feet underneath it through the railings. He winked at Adam and said in a loud voice, ‘I think I’ll just go up and check on the boys before I have that cup of coffee son.’  Immediately the two little feet moved and Ben quickly reached under the rug to grasp hold of a small ankle.

‘Ow!’

‘Is that you Joseph?’ asked Ben, feigning surprise as he lifted the blanket. ‘What are you doing there?’

Little Joe tried to wriggle out of his father’s grasp, but Ben held onto him firmly. ‘Nothin,’ he said.

‘What are you doing out of bed young man?’ asked his father sternly. ‘And why aren’t you asleep?’

‘I tried, but I ain’t sleepy,’ explained Little Joe, trying to prise his father’s fingers off his ankle.

‘So you thought you’d get up and join us, is that it?’ asked Ben with a lift of his eyebrow.

‘Yep,’ said Little Joe. ‘Let go Pa!’

Ben let go of his son’s ankle. ‘Get up to bed immediately,’ he ordered. ‘If I catch you out of that room again you’ll have a very sore bottom young man. Now get!’

Little Joe scampered away, his little bottom up in the air as he crawled up the stairs.  Ben gave a chuckle as he joined Adam on the sofa. ‘That boy!’ he said.

Adam grinned as he handed his father a cup of coffee. ‘I think I’ll take this up to bed with me,’ he said. ‘You want me to check on him for you?’

‘Please,’ said Ben as he began to sip his coffee. ‘Tell him I’ll be up in a few minutes and I want to find him asleep.’

Adam shook his head as he walked upstairs, sipping his coffee as he went.  When he got to his little brother’s room he pushed open the door and was surprised to see the boy wasn’t in his bed after all.

‘Joe?’ he said as he spied his brother leaning out of the windowsill and looking up at the sky. ‘Pa told you not to get out of bed.’

Little Joe shook his head. ‘No he didn’t.  He said not ta come out of my room is all.’

‘You know what he meant,’ said Adam crossly as he put down his cup and picked up the child. He plonked him down on the bed and sat down next to him. ‘Now go to sleep before Pa gets up here or you’ll be in real trouble buddy.’

Little Joe’s chin began to quiver. ‘But I’ve tried real hard Adam,’ he said. ‘I even tried to make them sheep jump over the fence like Hoss said.’

‘Sheep?’ asked Adam, puzzled.

‘Yeah,’ replied his little brother. ‘Only they wouldn’t go and they got all bunched up in my head so I couldn’t even count em to twenty any more.’

‘Oh,’ said Adam, smothering a chuckle. ‘I see. Well you’d better just close your eyes then and you’ll be asleep in no time. Come on … let me see you do it.’

Little Joe closed his eyes for a full ten seconds before opening one of them again. ‘It ain’t working,’ he informed his brother sadly.

‘Be quiet and it will.’

There was another pause. ‘Still ain’t working,’ he said as he closed one eye and opened the other.

‘I said to be quiet!’

This time both eyes opened. ‘I can’t do it,’ Little Joe whined. ‘Can’t ya tell me another story?’

Adam sighed. ‘Listen squirt, it’s getting late and I’ve got to get up early tomorrow. How about I sing you a quick song instead?’

‘OK,’ said Little Joe happily and snuggled down into his pillow.  He put his thumb into his mouth and began to suck on it, the other hand twirling a strand of his curly hair around his fingers.  He looked up trustingly at his brother.

Adam began to croon a soft French lullaby to the little boy. Little Joe took his thumb out of his mouth and informed his brother, ‘Mama used to sing that one.’

‘I know.  Where do you think I learnt it from?’  Adam continued to sing softly while he rubbed the little boy’s back.  By the time he’d finished, Little Joe’s eyes were beginning to droop. ‘You think you can make it to sleep now?’ Adam asked softly.

‘I reckon,’ said Little Joe drowsily. ‘Thanks Adam.’

‘Don’t mention it squirt.  See you in the morning.’  Adam picked up his coffee cup and left the room, being careful to leave the door ajar as he went.

++++++++++

As Ben walked softly down the dark hallway he heard a soft whimpering sound coming from his youngest son’s bedroom. Cautiously, he opened the door and looked around it. ‘Little Joe?’ he said softly. ‘Are you still awake?’

‘Yep,’ said a little voice.

Ben walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He turned up the lamp and noticed the tear-streaked face of his youngest son. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked. ‘It’s nearly eleven o’clock and you should have been asleep hours ago.’

‘I can’t,’ sniffed the child. ‘I nearly did when Adam was here before, but then my eyes waked up again.’

Ben pulled the child onto his lap and began to rock him. ‘I’ll just sit here with you for a while then and see if you can now,’ he said. ‘All right?’

‘OK,’ said the little boy and sniffed again. He put his thumb into his mouth and stared up at his father as the man rocked him. ‘Are you going ta bed now Pa?’ he asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Don’t leave me!’ the child cried softly.

‘I’m not leaving you,’ said Ben soothingly. ‘What would make you think that I was?’

‘Everyone else is asleep and iffen you go too then I’ll be the only one left here,’ his son informed him. ‘You can’t leave me Pa!’

Ben smiled at him. ‘I’m not leaving you,’ he repeated.

‘But I’ll get lonely when you go ta sleep,’ said Little Joe sadly. ‘I’ll be all by myself.’

‘You’ll be asleep by then.’  Ben continued to rock the child for several minutes, crooning softly to him and patting his curly hair. ‘You getting sleepy now?’ he asked after a while.

‘Nope.’

Ben sighed and stopped rocking the boy. ‘How about I go and get you some warm milk?’ he asked.

Little Joe pouted. ‘I don’t like it,’ he said.

‘It might help you to sleep,’ said his father, stroking the curls off the child’s forehead.

‘OK.’

Ben placed him back on the bed. ‘You try and sleep while I go and get it,’ he said.

Ten minutes later when Ben came out of the kitchen he almost tripped over a small white figure in the passageway. ‘Joseph!” he cried, trying to steady the cup in his hand. ‘What are you doing there?’

There was a small sniff. ‘I got lonely wivout ya Pa,’ said the little boy. ‘I came to find ya.’

Ben picked his son up and settled him onto his hip. Little Joe buried his head into his father’s shoulder as the man took him towards the stairs. ‘It’s too dark down here,’ he said in a small whisper. ‘I don’t like it wivout the lamps on.’

Ben hugged the child tighter to him as they ascended the stairs. ‘Then you shouldn’t have come downstairs should you?’ he teased. He placed the boy into his bed again when they reached his room and handed him the warm milk. ‘Now you drink that,’ he instructed. ‘It’ll make you feel all warm and sleepy inside.’

Little Joe did as instructed and took a few sips of the milk.  He pulled a face and looked up at his face. ‘It ain’t nice,’ he said.

‘Drink it,’ said Ben with a yawn. ‘Hurry up.  Pa’s tired and wants to go to bed now.’

Little Joe took a few more sips. ‘When will it be morning Pa?’ he asked.

‘Not for a very long time,’ said Ben with another yawn. ‘Drink some more.’

‘Will we stay awake all night?’  Little Joe took a few more mouthfuls.

‘No we will not!’ said Ben. ‘More.’

‘Finished.’  Little Joe held the cup out to his father who took it and placed it on the dresser.

‘Now under those covers with you,’ said Ben as he tucked them around the boy yet again.

‘Can’t I come in with you Pa?’

Ben hesitated. The child had spent far too many nights in his bed lately and he was afraid that it was becoming a habit. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Not tonight. Look … Here’s your horse.  He’ll sleep with you.’  He picked up a knitted toy horse that the child’s mother had made for him a few years before when he’d been born.  It had been a much-treasured toy in its day and bore the markings of many baby cuddles.

‘Aw Pa … I’m too big for him now!’ protested Little Joe. ‘He was for when I was little.’

Ben tried not to laugh as he pushed the toy into the bed beside his son. ‘Well how about you try him anyway?’ he teased. ‘See? His eyes are closing and he’s going to sleep.’

Little Joe fiddled with the buttons that were the horse’s eyes. ‘They can’t close,’ he said. ‘You’re just funning me, ain’t ya Pa?’

Ben gave another yawn. ‘Joseph I have to go to sleep,’ he said. ‘Be a good boy and close your eyes for Pa now please.’

Little Joe closed his eyes dutifully and was still.  Ben sat for several minutes before going to the window and looking outside.  An owl hooted in a tree nearby. ‘What was that?’ asked Little Joe.

‘An owl,’ replied his father. ‘Go to sleep.’

The boy’s eyes opened again. ‘How come owls don’t sleep in the night time?’ he asked.

They sleep all day,’ said Ben. ‘Which is what you’ll be doing if you don’t go to sleep soon’ He glanced at his pocket watch and noticed wearily that it was well past midnight.

‘I don’t mind,’ said Little Joe, sitting up with a smile. ‘How bout we do that Pa?  We could stay up and play tonight then.’

Ben sighed. ‘Joseph I’m getting cross with you,’ he said wearily. ‘Do you want a smack?’

‘No.’ Little Joe lay down again.  There was silence for several minutes as Ben listened to the soft hooting of the bird in the tree outside the window. After a while he crept quietly out of the bedroom and stood outside for a minute listening.  When he heard nothing, he gave a sigh of relief and walked quietly down the hallway to his own room.

As he undressed wearily and got into bed he mentally calculated how many hours it was until he’d have to get up again and realised that it wasn’t many at all.  He snuggled down into his pillow with a sigh, revelling in the silence around him.  His eyelids began to droop and he felt the delicious feeling of sleep overtaking him.

‘Pa?’  Ben jerked his eyelids open again. ‘Pa?  Are you awake?’ Ben sighed.  He knew that it had been too good to be true. ‘Pa, can I come in your bed?’ Ben pulled back the covers in a resigned fashion and felt the child cuddle in towards him. He heard the slurping noise that indicated a thumb was being sucked and he patted the little boy on the rump soothingly.

For several minutes there was silence.

‘Pa?  Are you still awake?’

‘Mmm.’

‘Pa? Are you going to sleep now?’

‘Mmm.’

There was silence for several more minutes.

‘I ain’t.’

Ben jerked his eyelids open and looked at the child’s face next to him on the pillow.  Little Joe’s big green eyes stared back at him anxiously. ‘I’ll be lonely iffen you go ta sleep Pa,’ the child said. ‘Remember?’

Ben sighed and leant over to turn up the lamp. ‘How about you read some stories then?’ he said tiredly. ‘Go and get one of your books.’

‘OK.’  Little Joe scrambled out of the bed and ran out of the room.  He was back in no time with a storybook under his arm. ‘I got this one,’ he announced as he got back into the bed and opened it. ‘Will I tell it to ya Pa?’

‘Mmm.’ Ben closed his eyes again.

Little Joe began to tell his father the story.  He wasn’t really able to read it, but had heard it so many times before that it didn’t matter.  He told his version of it which he felt was close enough.  Ben listened with his eyes closed, drifting off into a light sleep without meaning to. He was startled awake by the unmistakable giggle of his youngest son beside him several minutes later. ‘That’s funny ain’t it Pa?’ the child said delightedly. He pointed to the picture in the book and then looked at his father, sure that he’d been listening to him. ‘Don’t ya think so?’ he asked.

‘Mmm,’ mumbled Ben into his pillow.

‘Pa?’

‘Mmm?’

‘I gotta pee.’

‘Use the pot,’ Ben mumbled into his pillow. Little Joe looked at his father and then scrambled out of the bed again.  He pulled out the pot from under the bed, pulled up his nightshirt and began to fill it.  ‘Musta been all that milk,’ he said.  His father didn’t answer.  Joe put down his nightshirt and leant over towards his father’s face. He tapped him on the cheek and then lifted up one of his eyelids. ‘Are you asleep Pa?’ he asked.

Ben swatted the little hand away from his face. ‘Mmm,’ he mumbled.

Little Joe frowned and then got back into bed again.  He cuddled into his father and sucked on his thumb as he looked up at the wooden ceiling and listened to the silence. After a moment he began to hum the French Lullaby softly that Adam had sung to him earlier. Ben opened his eyes again at the sound and Little Joe smiled at him. ‘I thought you was asleep Pa,’ he said.

‘Mmm,’ said Ben. ‘I was.’

‘You ain’t now but, are ya?’ asked Little Joe happily.

‘Apparently not,’ mumbled Ben, trying not to sound sarcastic.

‘You wanna sing wiv me?’

‘No.’

‘OK.’  Little Joe began to hum again.

Ben tried to shut out the noise beside him, but found it impossible to do so. ‘Joseph,’ he said after a moment. ‘Be quiet please.’

Little Joe stopped humming. ‘But I was singing to help me fall asleep,’ he said. ‘Adam does it.  Mama used ta do it too.’

‘I know. But I’d like you to sing inside your head instead.’

‘OK.’

There was silence for a few minutes and then that unmistakeable giggle again. ‘Hey Pa, guess what?’

‘What?’

‘Them sheep likes my singing.  They started dancing when I did it.’  The little boy put his hand over his mouth and giggled again delightedly.

Ben opened his eyes. ‘What sheep?’ he asked in spite of himself.

‘The ones in my head.  There’s twenty of em, but they ain’t too good at jumping that fence yet.  They sure can dance though.’

Ben shook his head slightly and decided not to pursue the subject.  He rolled over onto his back and faced the ceiling. It seemed that he wasn’t going to get any sleep at all until he found a way to still that small bundle of energy beside him. ‘How about we talk for a little while?’ he said. ‘That might make you sleepy.’

‘OK,’ said Little Joe happily as he cuddled into his father. ‘What ya wanna talk about Pa?’

‘You choose,’ replied Ben wearily. ‘I’ll listen.’

‘OK.’  Little Joe gave a huge yawn as he thought about it and Ben’s heart lifted at the sound of it. ‘Ya want me to tell ya bout what the chickens did this morning?’ asked the child after a moment.

‘Fine,’ said Ben, closing his eyes.  He listened to the tale of what the chickens had done, hoping that the child might talk himself out and go to sleep in the process.  Unfortunately, he realised that Little Joe’s voice was becoming more and more animated as the story progressed. Was there no end to this child’s energy?

‘Your turn now,’ said Little Joe as he paused for breath at the end of his fascinating tale. ‘What you gonna talk bout Pa?’

‘Nothing,’ said Ben. ‘You keep going.’

‘OK.’  Ben listened as he was treated to another fascinating tale about his son’s trip to town that morning with Hop Sing. He began to stroke the child’s face and hair softly as he talked, hoping that it would calm him down enough to make him feel tired, but it didn’t seems to be working.  Little Joe’s eyes got wider and wider as he talked and his voice became more and more animated as he thought about his exploits in town.  Finally Ben could stand it no longer.

‘That’s enough now Joseph,’ he said.

‘But I ain’t finished yet,’ protested Little Joe.

‘Pa has to go to sleep now,’ replied Ben. ‘You just lay here and tell yourself the story in your head all right?’

Little Joe looked anxious. ‘I spose I could tell it to them sheep,’ he said. ‘You really going to sleep Pa?’

‘Mmm.’

‘OK.’  The little voice wavered a bit and he hugged his father even tighter.

Ben tried not to feel guilty as he put his arms around the boy and held onto him as he gradually gave in to unconsciousness.  There were some things that beyond a man’s endurance and he felt that he’d just about reached his limit. ‘That’s a good boy,’ he murmured softly. ‘You just lay there quietly now.’

‘OK,’ the little voice trembled.

After a few minutes Ben heard a slight sniffling sound and he dragged his eyes open again reluctantly. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked wearily.

‘Nuthin.’

‘Joseph?’

‘I want my mama!’ the little boy sobbed softly.

Ben’s heart constricted and the guilty feeling came back again with full force. ‘I know,’ he said gently, giving him a squeeze. He sat up and turned up the lamp as he looked at the child.  The little boy’s face was a picture of misery as he looked up at his father.  Tears were running down his cheeks and he was sniffing at intervals.

‘I been thinking bout her,’ explained Little Joe. ‘She can’t sing me ta sleep no more, can she Pa?’

Ben sighed. ‘No son, she can’t,’ he said softly. He got out of bed and put on his robe.

‘Where you going Pa?’ Little Joe’s voice became higher in his anxiety. ‘Don’t leave me!’

‘I’m not leaving you,’ said Ben as he reached for a blanket at the foot of the bed and wrapped the child in it before lifting him into his arms. ‘We’re going downstairs for a while, all right?’

‘OK,’ sniffed Little Joe, feeling comforted within his father’s strong arms.

Ben carried the child downstairs and placed him on the sofa.  He stoked up the fire and put on another couple of logs before picking up the little boy again and cuddling him to him as he sat in his favourite easy chair. ‘That feel better?’ he asked.

‘Yep.’  There was silence as father and son enjoyed the closeness of the moment. They both stared into the roaring fire, each lost in his own thoughts. Ben reasoned things out within his weary brain.  After all, it had only been a few months since Marie had died and it was no wonder that the child felt as he did.  It was at times like this when those feelings overtook a person …. Ben knew that without a doubt.  He tried to recall how many nights he’d lain awake as well with an aching for her overtaking him.  He hugged the little boy to him and pulled the blanket even closer to ward off the cold night air.

‘Sleepy now?’ he murmured.

‘Uh uh,’ said Little Joe with a big yawn. ‘I still ain’t sleepy yet Pa.  Will it be morning soon?’

Ben glanced over at the grandfather clock beside the front door. Two o’clock!  ‘No … he whispered. ‘Not for quite a while yet.’ He stared into the flickering flames in front of him and allowed his thoughts to wander back over the past few months since Marie’s death. He shuddered slightly when he remembered how difficult it had been.

‘You cold Pa?’ asked a little voice.

‘No.’

Little Joe smiled up at his father, his big eyes bright in the flickering firelight. ‘Me neither,’ he said happily. ‘It’s nice here, ain’t it?’

‘Uh huh.’  Ben tried to stifle a yawn.

‘Is Hop Sing asleep too?’

‘Yes.’

‘And Charlie?’

‘Yes.’

‘And all the horses?’

‘Yes.’

The child tried to sit up. ‘Let’s go see,’ he suggested.

‘No.  Keep still.’

‘How come horses sleep standing up Pa?  Hoss told me that they do.’

‘I don’t know.  They just do.’

‘He said that chickens sleep on their perches too.  They don’t, do they?’

Ben rested his head on his hand. ‘Yes they do,’ he said. He decided that at this point he’d be willing to sleep on a perch too … anything to get some sleep!

‘I ain’t never seen em!’ the child declared. ‘I reckon you’re funning me Pa.’ Ben didn’t answer, as he tried to keep his eyes open. ‘Is ya funning me Pa?’

‘No.’

Little Joe frowned. ‘How bout the cattle?  Do they sleep standing up Pa?’  There was no answer and he looked up at his father’s face and frowned. Suddenly there was a noise outside the dining room window and he screwed up his face and held onto his father fiercely. He buried his face into the man’s chest and closed his eyes tightly, certain that it would go away if it thought he wasn’t there. He could hear the beating of his father’s heart as he placed his ear against his chest and smiled as he listened.

Suddenly the noise sounded again. This time he knew that it was definitely outside the window. ‘What’s that?’ he whispered.  There was no response from his father, so he shook him gently. ‘What’s that?’ he repeated.

‘What?’ asked Ben sleepily.

‘That noise?  What is it Pa?’  There was no response from his father again, so Little Joe shook him even harder. ‘It’s at the window Pa,’ he said insistently. ‘Something’s trying to get in and get us!’

‘Its only the wind,’ said Ben softly from his slumberous state.

Little Joe listened again. ‘No it ain’t!’ he declared.  There was silence for a moment before he heard the noise again. ‘Pa!’

Ben opened his eyes. ‘It’s only the wind Joseph,’ he said. ‘It can’t hurt you.’

Little Joe’s bottom lip began to tremble. ‘No it ain’t,’ he said. ‘Listen!’

Ben listened. ‘Its probably a tree branch brushing against the side of the house,’ he said. ‘Just ignore it.’

Little Joe listened again. ‘Pa!’ he cried as he clutched onto his father. ‘Its trying to come in and get us!’ Ben muttered something under his breath. ‘Pa!’ cried the child again.  He burrowed down as close as he could to his father chest and hung onto him.

Reluctantly, Ben stood up and walked over to the window with the child still in his arms.  He opened the shutter and looked out. ‘See?’ he said. ‘Its only a branch.’

Little Joe opened his eyes and looked out as well. ‘Oh yeah!’ he agreed with a grin. ‘It is.’ Ben muttered something else under his breath. Little Joe wriggled in his father’s arms and pointed up excitedly at the sky. ‘Look Pa!’ he cried excitedly. ‘There’s the North Star, ain’t it?’

Ben followed his son’s gaze. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘So it is.’

‘Which one is Mama’s star?’

‘See if you can find it,’ said his father as he sat on the window ledge.  The cold air had woken him up slightly and he didn’t see any point in fighting it any more.

‘Over there!’ cried Little Joe. ‘That’s it, ain’t it?’

‘Very good,’ said Ben as he pulled the blanket around the child.

‘Tell me bout the stars Pa.  Tell me one of them stories bout em. Please?’

Ben put his chin on top of his son’s curly hair and began to talk of the stars to him.  Above them the cold night air twinkled with a million flickering lights that were reflected in the child’s eyes.  He stifled a yawn and he was lulled by the man’s deep resonant voice.  Behind them the grandfather clock ticked on.

++++++++++

Hop Sing shuffled out to the dining room with an armful of wood, walked over to the fireplace and picked up the poker to stir up the fire before everyone made it downstairs.  He always liked to make sure that the room was nice and cosy before he got onto his other chores. To his surprise the fire was still blazing quite nicely and he only had to throw on a few twigs to top it up.

As he turned away from the fireplace, he was startled to see Ben in his easy chair, cuddling something on his lap.  He peered closer and saw that it was Little Joe and both of them were fast asleep.  He smiled at the sight.

Suddenly, Ben’s eyes opened and he looked directly at the cook. ‘Hop Sing?’ he whispered. ‘What time is it?’

‘It four-thirty Mr Ben,’ said Hop Sing. ‘You been here all night?’

Ben stretched as best he could without disturbing the child on his lap. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Just some of it.’

‘You get any sleep?’ asked Hop Sing, indicating the child snuggled up to his father.

‘An hour or so I think,’ replied Ben wearily. ‘Little Joe couldn’t sleep.’

‘You want me to put him in bed?’ asked Hop Sing, holding out his arms.

‘No thank you,’ said Ben as he stood up. ‘I’ll do it.’  He hesitated before walking away. ‘Please tell Adam and Hoss to have breakfast without me.  I’m going to try and get a couple of hours sleep before I begin the day.’

‘Yes Mr Ben,’ said Hop Sing, shaking his head.  He watched as the man wearily climbed the stairs with the child in his arms.

Suddenly Little Joe squirmed and tried to sit up. ‘Is it morning yet?’ he asked sleepily.

‘Yes,’ replied his father as they got to the top of the stairs.

‘Are we gonna have breakfast now?’

‘No.  We’re going to sleep for a while.’

Little Joe snuggled down again. ‘Good,’ he said as he gave a huge yawn. ‘I’m sleepy!’

The End