Summary:  Ben and Marie take baby Little joe on his first outing, but things don’t go quite as expected
Rating:  G  4,330 words

Baby Blues

Ben Cartwright watched as his wife Marie lifted their six week-old baby son Joseph from the small tub of water and swaddled him inside a large towel. The baby immediately let out a protesting howl and his mother cuddled him to her chest protectively. ‘There there,’ she said. ‘It’s all right little one.’ She patted him on the back and listened in satisfaction as the howls gave way to a few small hiccups. ‘He certainly likes his bath,’ she said indulgently. ‘Don’t you, Little Joe?’ The baby hiccupped once more in reply and she patted him on the back again.

‘We’re going to be late,’ warned Ben for the third time.

‘Nonsense,’ said Marie firmly. ‘There’s plenty of time yet. Here … you dress him while I go and put on my own finishing touches. His clothes are all laid out on the bench over there.’  She handed the baby to Ben and gave both of them a kiss on their foreheads, before leaving the washhouse.

Ben sat looking at his tiny son in his arms, who stared back at him with a slightly cross-eyed look. ‘I hope you’re going to behave yourself today,’ he said. ‘Your mama wants to show you off for the first time and she’s relying on you to be good, Joseph.’  He smiled as he received another hiccup as a response. ‘Come on then,’ he said. ‘Let’s get you dressed.’

Ben laid the baby down on the bench and began to unwrap him, towelling him off as he did so. At that moment the washhouse door opened with a bang and Adam walked in. ‘The team are all rigged up Pa,’ he said and bent down to stroke his finger on his baby brother’s palm.  Little Joe’s tiny hand immediately clung on tight to it and he tried to put the finger into his mouth to suck, but Adam merely laughed and prised the baby’s fingers off again. 

‘Thank you son,’ said Ben as he put on Little Joe’s diaper. ‘Where is your brother Hoss?’

‘Sitting in the buggy, ready,’ replied Adam, tickling his baby brother and make him smile. ‘How come Little Joe had another bath?’

‘Because he …’ Ben laughed. ‘He disgraced himself after the first one,’ he finished. ‘Your mother wasn’t too happy with him.  She had his best outfit picked out for him to wear to church today and now he has to wear this one instead.’  He indicated the pale blue baby jacket and dress that was lying on the bench beside Little Joe and began to dress the baby in it.

‘He pooped again huh?’ grinned Adam. ‘He does that a lot, doesn’t he?’

‘Babies tend to,’ said Ben, straightening up Little Joe’s dress and picking up the pale blue matching shawl. ‘Go and ask Hop Sing for the picnic basket please and put it in the back of the buggy.’

‘OK Pa.  I’d better stay out there with it though. You know what Hoss is like when he’s left alone with a full picnic basket.

Ben laughed as he wrapped the baby up in the shawl. He certainly did know. That middle son of his had been known to dip his finger in anything that Hop Sing cooked for them, just on the pretence of trying it out for the rest of them.

He picked up the tiny baby and stared into his unfocused eyes. ‘Now remember what I told you,’ he warned. ‘Be good today or your mama …’

‘Of course he’s going to be good,’ said Marie brightly as she came back into the room. She fastened her bonnet and took the baby from her husband’s arms. ‘Aren’t you, little one?’  The baby let out a howl in response to her question and she immediately began to rub his back to soothe him. ‘What’s the matter, baby?’ she asked gently.

‘I’ll go and bring the team up to the door,’ said Ben quickly. ‘He’s all yours now.  See you outside.’  He escaped out of the side door and went to join Hoss in the buggy, helping Adam with the picnic basket on the way. ‘Ready boys?’ he asked as he turned the team around.

‘Sure are Pa,’ said Hoss, his eyes shining. ‘It’s sure gonna be a great picnic today, ain’t it?’

‘Sure is,’ said his father, ruffling the little boy’s hair. It was the first time they’d all been out together since Little Joe had been born and he knew that both the boys were really looking forward to it.  If the truth were told, he was looking forward to it as well. 

‘Where’s Marie?’ asked Adam, impatiently. ‘We’re gonna be late, Pa.’

‘She’ll be here in a minute,’ replied his father. After five minutes when there was no sign of her, he sighed and got down from the buggy, handing Adam the reins. ‘Hang onto these, son,’ he said. ‘I’ll go and see what’s holding her up.’

He walked into the front room, calling as he opened the door. ‘Marie, we’re going to be late!  Where are you?’

‘I’m in here,’ called back his wife from the living room and Ben walked over to the fireplace to see her sitting on the sofa, nursing Little Joe. ‘He was hungry,’ she said. ‘I have to feed him again before we go.’

‘He just had a feed before his bath,’ protested Ben. ‘Why another one?’

‘Because he’s hungry,’ explained Marie again. ‘I can’t help it.’

Ben sighed. ‘Well can’t you do that in the buggy on the way?’ he said impatiently. ‘We’re going to be late you know.’

Marie stood up, the baby still sucking furiously. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘Could you load all his things in the back of the buggy please?’ she indicated a large pile in the corner. 

‘What on earth … ’ said Ben in amazement. ‘Surely we don’t need to take all that!’

‘We most certainly do,’ said Marie haughtily. ‘Joseph may need every one of those things if we’re going to be away for most of the day.’

Ben shook his head, but began to pick up everything without a word. Marie followed him out to the buggy, draping her shawl over herself and the sucking baby as she did so. 

Adam looked at his father curiously as the man began to pack the bundles into the back of the buggy. ‘What’s all that for?’ he asked.

Ben glanced over to the other side of the buggy where Marie was speaking to Hoss. ‘Your baby brother, apparently,’ he answered in a low voice. Adam rolled his eyes as Ben continued to try to fit the things in. ‘They won’t fit,’ he said finally. ‘We’ll have to leave some of this behind.’

‘Joseph needs every bit of that,’ said Marie firmly. ‘There’s spare clothing and diapers, a spare shawl, a rug in case it gets cold, as well as …’

‘All right, all right, I get the idea,’ said Ben, holding up his hand. ‘I’ll just have to …’

‘Why don’t I ride my horse in, Pa?’ interrupted Adam. ‘You could put the rest of the things on the back seat of the buggy then next to Hoss?’

‘Good idea son.  You go and saddle up your horse.  Be quick!’ said Ben. 

‘You can put the picnic basket up here with me Pa,’ said Hoss generously. ‘I don’t mind looking after it.’  He gave his father a huge grin at the thought of it.

‘Thank you son, but it stays exactly where it is,’ said Ben firmly as he began to stuff several of baby Joseph’s things onto the seat next to Hoss. ‘Hurry up Adam! We’re late!’  He walked around to help Marie up into the buggy and then climbed aboard himself, just as Adam came out of the bran leading his horse. ‘Mount up son,’ he said. ‘And be quick about it.  We have to …’

His words were cut off by an exclamation from his wife. ‘Joseph!’ Marie said. ‘Oh no!’ Ben glanced over to see his baby son dribbling vomit all down his front and into his mother’s lap, where it pooled before dripping onto the floor of the buggy.  For a moment, he wondered how such a tiny baby could have so much vomit inside him, but the thought was quickly brushed aside as he listened to Marie’s exclamations. ‘Oh Ben!  Look what he’s done!  Now I’ll have to go and get changed … and Joseph is going to need another bath.’

Ben groaned. ‘Marie, you can’t seriously be considering giving that child his third bath this morning before we even leave!’ he said. ‘For heaven’s sake!’  He took the baby from his wife, being careful to hold him at arm’s length as he did so.  

Marie climbed down from the buggy and allowed the baby vomit to run down her skirt and puddle around her feet. ‘I wanted him to look so nice!’ she exclaimed. ‘This is the first time that everyone will see him and now he’s going to smell of baby vomit.  And just look at that dress he’s wearing!’  

Ben looked at the pale blue baby dress which was now stained liberally with vomit. ‘You go inside and get changed,’ he said. ‘I’ll fix him up.’

‘He has to have a bath,’ insisted Marie.

‘Leave him to me,’ said Ben. ‘Go on.’  He waited until Marie had run to the house, before turning to Hoss and Adam who were both giggling at the sight of their baby brother covered with vomit. Ben dangled the baby in his arms as he searched in the back of the buggy. ‘Adam, get down from that horse and clean up the buggy floor,’ he instructed as he pulled another baby outfit out of a bag. 

Adam’s eyes bugged out of his head at his father’s words and he opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again as he saw the look on Ben’s face.  With a sigh, he got down from his horse and went to get a bucket of water.

Ben laid the baby on the buggy seat and began to undress him. ‘Ew!’ said Hoss distastefully, as he looked at the vomit-splattered clothing. 

‘Be quiet,’ said Ben firmly as he stripped the baby. He picked up Little Joe and took him over to the water trough, calling out over his shoulder as he did so. ‘And if either of you breathe a word of this to your mother, you’ll answer to me!’  He dunked the wriggling baby into the water, effectively washing him in a minute, before bringing him back to the buggy and towelling him down. ‘Better,’ he said, as he began to put the new outfit on the child. ‘Have you finished Adam?’

‘Yes, Pa,’ said Adam, screwing up his nose as he took the bucket back to the pump and rinsed it out. 

‘Good,’ replied Ben. He finished dressing Little Joe, just as Marie came running out of the house again in a clean outfit. ‘Get into the buggy,’ said Ben. ‘Quick!’  

Marie climbed up without a word and Ben handed her the baby. ‘How on earth did you get him clean so quickly?’ she asked.

Ben simply winked at her. ‘Experience,’ he said. ‘Adam, get on that horse and start riding!’

The trip to town was a wild one, Ben urging the horses forward as fast as he dared and Adam trotting quickly to keep up. Little Joe seemed to enjoy the trip and for once was quiet, staring at the tops of the trees as they swayed in the wind and at Hoss as his brother dangled his fingers in front of his face to make him smile. ‘Why can’t he be like this all the time?’ asked Marie fretfully. ‘I don’t understand how he can be so happy during the day and yet cry all night.’

Ben sighed as he remembered the lack of sleep from last night.  He was still feeling the effects of it and as he glanced at the content baby on his wife’s lap he wondered how such a small little person could have them all controlled in such a way.  He honestly didn’t remember either Adam or Hoss being so demanding when they were babies, and he’d had the bulk of the looking after of them both to himself as well.

By the time they reached the churchyard, they could hear singing coming from inside the building and Ben realised with a sinking heart that they hadn’t made it in time. ‘Perhaps we should wait out here and join everyone after the service?’ he suggested.

‘Nonsense,’ said Marie. ‘We’re not that late!’  She ushered Adam and Hoss inside and Ben had no choice but to follow.  As the Cartwrights entered the church, every eye was upon them and both he and Marie were forced to give the congregation apologetic looks as they slunk up the aisle to their pew.  No sooner had they sat down, than Little Joe let out a howl to make his presence known.

‘What’s wrong with him now?’ whispered Ben in frustration.

‘I think he’s hungry,’ whispered back Marie.

‘He can’t be!’ exclaimed Ben, conscious of all the looks they were receiving. ‘You only just fed him when we left.’

‘But he threw it all up again, remember?’ whispered Marie. ‘His little stomach is empty.’  She put the baby on her shoulder and patted his little back, but to no avail.  With another apologetic look at everyone, she stood up and left the church with as much dignity as she could muster.

Beside him, Hoss began to giggle and Ben very firmly put a hand on his son’s leg. ‘Be quiet!’ he whispered firmly. Hoss looked across his father at Adam who rolled his eyes at his brother.

Marie never made it back inside again.  By the time the service was over, Ben and boys found her sitting in the buggy with a contented baby on her lap. ‘He’s fine now,’ she sighed. ‘I guess I wasn’t meant to go to church after all.’

‘Never mind,’ said Ben sympathetically. ‘We’ll show him off to everyone at the picnic ground.  Everyone ready?’  He hitched up the team and they rode down the street towards the lake where several townsfolk were already gathered. Several of them clustered around to view the latest addition to the Cartwright family, as Ben unloaded all their things.

‘Got enough there?’ asked Roy Coffee in delight as he watched.

Ben gave his friend a dark look, but said nothing. 

‘Sure is a cute little thing, ain’t he?’ said the sheriff, tickling Little Joe under the chin. He backed away slightly when the baby began to wail. ‘Sure has got a big set of lungs fer a littun, ain’t he?’ the sheriff said.

‘Would you like to hold him Roy?’ asked Marie as she shushed the baby.  She placed the baby in the sheriff’s arms and then looked very embarrassed, as Little Joe promptly filled his diaper with great gusto. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, blushing. 

‘Don’t apologize ma’am,’ said the sheriff as he handed the smelly baby back to her. ‘Only natural.’  He bid them all a quick farewell and fled before Marie could even reply. 

She looked at the tiny baby in her arms. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was timing all of this,’ she said miserably.

‘Don’t be silly,’ said Ben soothingly. ‘That’s just what babies do.’

‘Are we gonna eat now Pa?’ asked Hoss. ‘I’m hungry.’

‘We certainly are,’ said Ben. ‘Adam, bring the picnic rug please.’  He walked away to a nearby tree followed by Hoss and Marie who was holding her smelly baby away from her at arm’s length. As soon as they were settled on the rug, Ben began to undo the picnic basket and Marie began to undo Little Joe’s dirty diaper.

‘Ew!’ said Hoss distastefully. ‘I don’t wanna eat next to that!’

‘Be quiet,’ said Ben sternly. ‘It’ll only be for a minute.’  They all waited while Marie finished changing the diaper and then Ben took it back to the buggy and left it in the same bag with the vomit-splattered baby clothing from that morning. By the time he returned, peace had finally settled upon his family and they were all eating while Little Joe lay in the middle of the rug and kicked his little legs in contentment as he gazed up at the treetops above him. Ben thought about how innocent the little baby looked, as he took a sandwich and began to munch on it.

Presently several of their neighbours wandered by to admire the baby and Ben and Marie found themselves engrossed in several conversations at once.  They were just beginning to relax somewhat, when Hoss began to fidget. ‘Can I Pa?’ he asked plaintively, tugging on Ben’s sleeve.

‘Can you what?’ asked Ben absently.

‘Go over to my friends.  Adam did.’

Ben glanced over to the lake where Adam was standing talking to some other boys. ‘All right,’ he said. ‘Don’t go far.’ He turned to finish his conversation again, visibly relaxing for the first time that day … that is until his wife’s voice screeched in his ear. 

‘Ben!’ Marie cried.

Ben jumped. ‘What?’ he said. ‘What is it?’

‘The baby …’ Marie pointed to the empty rug. ‘Joseph has gone!’  Ben’s eyes darted frantically around and finally landed on Hoss, who was holding his baby brother over near the lake and proudly showing him off to a group of children. He bounded to his feet and followed a frantic Marie, who had also spied the miscreant. 

‘Hoss!’ said Marie as she snatched her baby from the little boy’s arms. ‘What were you thinking?’

Hoss looked at his stepmother, his eyes wide. ‘But I asked,’ he said indignantly. ‘And you said yes!’

Marie looked startled. ‘I did not!’ she said.

Yes you did,’ insisted Hoss. ‘I asked if I could take him and you patted me on the head while you was talking to Mrs Simmons and said ‘Of course dear … whatever you like.’

Marie gave Ben a defensive look. ‘I didn’t hear him properly,’ she said, hugging the baby to her chest.

‘Never mind,’ replied Ben. ‘No harm done.’  His eyes widened as he saw the dirty stain that was spreading across his wife’s chest. ‘What is that?’ he asked.

Marie held the filthy baby away from her. ‘Look at him!’ she exclaimed. ‘What did you do to him Hoss?’

‘It’s only dirt,’ said Hoss, trying to brush it off his baby brother, but only succeeding in spreading the mud further. ‘I’ve got some on me too.  It’s muddy down here.’

‘That it is,’ said Ben, trying not to laugh. ‘He’s fine Marie, It’s only a bit of dirt.’ 

Marie looked up at her husband, her beautiful green eyes filling with tears. ‘I only … wanted to show … him off ….’ she sobbed. ‘I …’ she buried her face in his chest and began to sob quietly. 

Ben put his arms around her and the baby and murmured softly into her ear. ‘You did show him off,’ he said. ‘Everyone got to see him.’

‘But not as I wanted them too,’ she sobbed. ‘He was supposed to look perfect today … and everything has gone wrong.’

‘Hey Pa,’ said Hoss. ‘You want me to dunk Little Joe in the lake to get him clean?’

Marie hugged her dirty baby even tighter to her chest, oblivious now to the dirt that was spreading across it. ‘You will not put this baby anywhere near that lake!’ she said firmly. ‘The very idea!’

‘Well I was only trying to help,’ said Hoss. ‘It’s bigger than the horse trough and I thought that … ow!’ He rubbed his ankle where Adam had kicked it.

‘Horse trough?’ said Marie suspiciously. ‘What’s this about a horse trough?’  

‘Nothing,’ said Ben quickly. ‘How about we get Joseph changed into something else. Come on … I’ll help you.’  He gave both his sons a dark look over his shoulder, as he led his wife back to the buggy. 

‘I wanted everyone to see what a beautiful baby he is,’ said Marie sadly, wiping her eyes as they got to the buggy.

‘And they did,’ said Ben gently. ‘Look at him.  They couldn’t help but see how beautiful he is.’ 

Marie looked at the filthy baby in her arms, with the prejudiced eyes of a new mother. ‘I suppose not,’ she acknowledged. ‘He is beautiful.’

‘Of course he is,’ said Ben soothingly, as he searched in the bag for another baby outfit without success. He continued to rummage through it, watched by Marie.

‘What’s the matter?’ she asked finally.

‘I think we’ve run out of clothing,’ said Ben. ‘I can’t find any more.’

‘What?’ said Marie. ‘We can’t have!  I put ….’ She handed Ben the baby and began to look for herself.  Ben looked down at Little Joe who stared back at his father with a slightly cross-eyed look.  Suddenly the baby gave a loud burp and Ben chuckled. 

‘This boy certainly likes to make his presence felt,’ he said. 

‘What?’ said Marie, her face inside the bag as she desperately tried to find something for her baby to wear.

‘I said that …’ Ben stopped and looked at his wife’s mournful face. ‘What is it?’ he asked.

‘We have run out,’ Marie said. ‘What are we going to dress him in now?’

‘Just a diaper?’ asked Ben and then flinched as his wife gave him a cold stare. ‘Just a thought,’ he muttered. ‘How about this?’ He held up the tablecloth on top of the picnic basket. ‘What about this? We could drape ….’ He stopped again as Marie snatched Little Joe from him and turned on her heel indignantly. 

‘You are not dressing my child in a tablecloth, Ben Cartwright!’ she declared as she stomped away and left Ben to put everything back in the bag. Ben shook his head as he packed the bags again. 

‘Pa?’ 

Ben looked up to see Adam standing next to him. ‘Yes son?’ he said.

‘Was I this much trouble when I was a baby?’

‘No Adam, you weren’t, to be honest. Neither was Hoss.’

‘Well how come …’

Ben put up his hand. ‘Don’t even say it son,’ he said. ‘Just go and see your friends now while you still have time.  We’ll be going home soon.’ He thought about Adam’s words as he stowed the bags away in the back of the buggy. Was it because of Marie that things seemed to be more complicated now with this third baby of his?  Or was it because Joseph … Ben shook his head. The baby was only six weeks old, for heavens sake. It wasn’t as if any of this was his fault. Ben decided that he must just have a short memory about things like this.  Adam and Hoss must have given him a considerable amount of trouble when they were babies …. He just couldn’t remember it, that was all.

By the time they were ready to leave, Marie had calmed down somewhat, but was still clutching onto Little Joe defensively as if she was never going to let him go again. The baby himself was gurgling quite happily by this stage and looked very cute with his little curls bouncing, as he moved his head every which way. His dirty little face smiled at everyone who came within his line of vision and he was very popular with everyone that he met, even if they all had to acknowledge that he did rather smell of vomit and poop and was considerably muddy.

Throughout it all, Marie held up her head and looked people straight in the eye, defying them to mention how dirty and smelly her beautiful baby was.  No one dared.

Finally the sun began to set behind the pine trees and the lake gradually turned a dark blue … a sure signal to everyone that it was time to depart. Ben packed up the multitude of things that they’d brought with them and ensured that his wife and baby were safely stowed in the buggy before climbing up himself. ‘Hurry up Hoss,’ he instructed as he watched Adam mount up. 

Hoss climbed up onto the back seat, still somewhat chastened from his encounter with Marie earlier.  He looked tentatively over the seat at Little Joe, who was gurgling in his mother’s lap. Now that they were by themselves, Marie had relented and had wrapped the baby in the tablecloth and Little Joe’s tiny arms and legs were struggling to escape the confines of the material. 

‘I suppose it could have been worse,’ acknowledged Marie as they lurched forward in the buggy. ‘Everyone did get to see him after all. Only …’  she sighed. ‘I wanted him to look his best.’

Ben chuckled. ‘Somehow I think that what you got today is the best you’re going to get with that child,’ he said.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ asked Marie as she patted Little Joe’s curly hair tenderly. ‘It wasn’t the baby’s fault.’

‘He did poop and vomit a lot,’ said Adam with a grin and then wiped it off his face as Marie turned to give him an icy stare.

‘He couldn’t help it,’ she said defensively. ‘He’s just a baby, after all.’

Ben looked down at the tiny wriggling child beside him and Little Joe stared back at his father with a slightly cross-eyed look.  His little mouth parted in a crooked grin and Ben blinked a couple of times as he saw it. If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn that the baby was aware of what his mother had just said and was grinning at his father because of it. Ben shook his head as he thought about the day they’d had. Something told him that life wasn’t going to be easy with this third son of his.

The End