Summary:  Ben shares his favorite place.
Rating:  G  2,540 words

Lake of Tears

Ben Cartwright shifted in his saddle and gave a start as he realized where he was.  He’d had so many things on his mind as he was riding along, that he hadn’t stopped to think about which direction he’d been taking.  He drew a deep breath as he looked upon the scenery that he hadn’t seen in many years and realized just ho0w beautiful it was.  Funny, how long he’d avoided being here.  It really didn’t make any sense, when he considered just how significance this place had been to him … to both of them.  Marie had always said … he stopped himself from thinking along those lines, knowing full well how the depth of sadness that would overwhelm him if he did.  Even after all these years, he just couldn’t think of her without a deep sense of despair and he never did so without regretting it later.  He glanced up to the high mountain peaks in front of him, then down to the rippling water of the small pond.  Yes … it was still the same.  Why, if he willed it hard enough, he could still see a man and a beautiful young woman sitting by the pond, as they had all those times so many years ago.  He could still feel …

His eyes narrowed as he spotted a black and white hose tethered to a tree next to the lake.  Joseph’s horse!  On further inspection, he saw his youngest son lying on his back in the long grass beside the lake, his hat over his face and a fishing line dangling from his hand.  The young man’s whole body displayed a tranquility that seemed to fit this place so well. It was almost as if he belonged here as much as the water and the pines.  It was strange, but to Ben’s mind it was fitting that it should be so.  Afterall, the youngster was her son too, wasn’t he?  Ben kicked his horse forward.  He and the animal moved slowly toward the scene in front of them.  Ben’s mind was racing with a thousand memories flooding back to him.  Perhaps he’d been wrong to stay away from this place all these years.  He hadn’t meant to … it just happened … but coming back here now, he felt the magic of this place descend upon him, and he reveled in its peace.  He felt right being here. 

He pulled his horse to a halt a few feet away and stared down at the young man who was lying in the grass.  Joe looked as if he didn’t have a care in the world and Ben smiled, realizing that he probably didn’t.  How nice to be so young and carefree!  The young man had removed his boots; his bare toes wriggling in the soft grass, which led Ben to believe that he wasn’t asleep as he’d first suspected. 

“So, this is where you come when you take time off work,” he said in a loud voice and nearly burst out laughing when the young man’s whole body jerked at the sound of it.

Joe sprang up to a sitting position and knocked off his hat as he stared up at his father in bewilderment.  It took him a few seconds to register who was starting down at him, but as soon as he did, he gave his father one of the wide grins that Ben loved so well.  

“Pa!” he said.  “You snuck up on me.  I didn’t hear you ride up.”

Ben’s eyebrows lifted.  “That was obvious,” he said and then looked thoughtfully across the clear water again.  “Good spot for fishing?”

Joe’s face took on a serious expression.  “Sure is,” he said.  “Only …”  He stopped and looked at his father anxiously. 

“Only what?” inquired Ben.

“Only you won’t tell Adam or Hoss, will ya?”

“Why not?” asked his father. 

Joe scratched his head and sighed.  “They’ll only come and spoil it,” he muttered.  “It’s my secret fishing spot and I wanna keep it to myself.”

“I see,” said Ben thoughtfully.

“they’ve been trying to find out where I come,” Joe went on.  “They’re just jealous of all the fish I catch.”  He reached forward and pulled a string out of the water next to him on which he’d dangled four plump fish.  “See?”  he said proudly.  

Ben smiled at his son.  “Looks like we’re having fish for supper then,” he said. 

Joe nodded.  “I already told Hop Sing not to prepare anything else,” he acknowledged.

“You were that sure that you’d catch something?”

“Yep.” Said Joe as he replaced the string of fish into the water.  “I always do when I’m here.  Never fails.  Be my reckoning I’ve only got two more to catch.”  He turned to his rod and grinning as he began to pull a large fish out of the water.  “Oops,” he said.  “Make that one.”

“Six altogether?” asked Ben, puzzled.  “Why six?”

“One for each of us … plus hop Sing … I reckon if he’s gonna cook it then he should have one too,” explained Joe as he took the fish off the line and tied it to the string with the others.

“That still only makes five,” said his father. 

“Well … you know Hoss ,,, I thought I’d better have two for him or he’d sneak some of mine,” said Joe casually as he baited his hook again and threw the line back into the water.

Ben smiled. It was typical of his boys to think of such things.  They were typical brothers and tried their best to act like they didn’t care at times, but their father knew that they each looked out for the others and it warmed his heart to think of it. 

“I see,” he said as he swung down form the saddle.  “Mind if I join you for a while?”

“Sure Pa,”  said Joe, giving his father another grin.  “As long as …”

“I know, I know,” laughed Ben.  “I promise not to breathe a word about this spot to your brothers.”

“To be honest they already know about it,” acknowledged Joe.  “But they just don’t know that this is my special fishing spot, is all.”  He gave his father a triumphant look.  “I reckon Adam might remember it sometime though.”

“Adam? How so?”

“Well, he’s the one brought me here in the first place,” said Joe, putting his hat back on and tilting it towards the back of his head so his curls showed in front.  Ben thought momentarily how the gesture made him look so much like his mother, but brushed the thought aside quickly.  “When I was only little,” Joe continued.  “He brought Hoss too.  It was just after …”  He stopped and bit his lip, giving his father a quick sideways glance. 

“Just after your mother died?” asked Ben gently.

Joe nodded.  “Yeah,” he admitted.  “I guess he was trying to keep us busy and not think about things … you know.  He used to bring us here a lot for a while, but then he went to college and I started to come by myself.  In all the years he’s been back he never seems to come here … Hoss either.  I reckon it’s my special spot now.”

“It is a very special spot,” acknowledged Ben in a soft voice as he looked around.  His eyes misted over and he ran his hand over them quickly before Joe could notice.  “Do you know that it has a name?”

“Yep,” said Joe.  “Lake of Tears.”

Ben jerked.  “How on earth did you know that?”  he asked.

“Adam,” said Joe.  “He told us an Indian story about it when he brought us here.”

“Indian legend,”  corrected Ben softly.  “Do you remember it?”

“Yeah … legend,” said Joe, watching the water in front of him with great concentration.  “Something about God crying and his tears running down form the mountain up there.”  He motioned to a snow-capped peak in the distance. “I’m not sure of the rest,” he added.  “I wasn’t paying that much attention.” 

“It was at the time of creation,” said Ben, picking up a piece of long grass and chewing on it.  “God had just finished making the world and he looked down on it from his home up there in the mountain and saw how beautiful it all was.  He began to cry with joy and his tears ran all the way down here and pooed to form this lake.”  He smiled gently as he remembered the last time he’d told that legend to a smiling girl as they’d sat here all those years ago.  She too had looked up at him with those bright green eyes, just as her son did now. 

“That’s it,” agreed Joe.  “I thought it was something like that.”

Ben was silent as he looked across the rippling water.  If he listened hard enough, he swore that he could almost hear her laughter in the soft murmur of the wind in the pines above them.  He closed his eyes as the thought overwhelmed him.  Suddenly he regretted al those years he’d missed out on feeling this.  Why hadn’t he ever made it back her after she’d died? 

“Pa?”

Ben started and opened his eyes suddenly.  “Yes son?”

“Are you OK? You look kinda funny.”  Joe gave his father an anxious look.

“I’m fine Joe,” said Ben.  “Just thinking, that’s all.”

Joe nodded in an understanding fashion.  “I know what you mean,” he said. “It’s a good place for thinking, isn’t it?  I do a lot of thinking up here.” 

Ben gave the young man a puzzled look.  “You do?” he said.

Joe stretched his legs out and rested his back against the large grey rock behind him.  “Yeah,” he said.  “I dunno why … but it’s just the sort of place I like to come and think about things.”  He gave his father a sheepish look.  “I don’t just come for the fishing ya know Pa.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully.  Perhaps this place had woven its magic on her son as well?   He wouldn’t be surprised if it was the case.  “Everyone needs a place to think Joseph,” he said.  “It’s good that you have this spot son.  When I used to come here …”

Joe sat forward.  “You used to come here?”  he asked with obvious interest.  “I’ve never seen you here before Pa.”

“It was a long tiome ago, son,”  admitted Ben.  “Many years ago … before you were born.  I used to bring your mother here quite often.”

“Yeah?  Did you both fish?”

Ben tried to hold back a laugh and turned it into a cough.  “No …” he admitted.  “We never came here to fish.”  He bit his lip and turned his face slightly away from the young man so that Joe couldn’t see the expression on his face.  There were some things that a man couldn’t say to his son … some things that were best left unsaid … He smiled as he remembered all the wonderful times that he and Marie had together here in this secluded spot.  “No … “ he said again.  “We didn’t come here to fish son.” 

Joe gave his father a puzzled look. “Then what did you come here for?” he persisted.

Ben swallowed.  “Just to … appreciate the beauty,” he said in a low voice.  “That’s all.”

“Oh,” said Joe thoughtfully.  “Well, it sure is a beautiful place.  “He shifted his back slightly against the roughness of the grey rock behind him. 

“Why not?”

Ben hesitated.  “To tell you the truth, Joseph, I’m not sure,” he admitted.  “I think I was wrong not to come.”  He gave the young man a grin.  “Maybe you wouldn’t mind if I came and fished with you here some time?”

Joe returned the grin.  “Sure Pa,” he said.  “As long as it’s just you and me … I don’t want …”

Ben put up his hand and chuckled.  “I know …” he said. “No Hoss or Adam.”  He leaned back against the grey rock himself and observed his son fondly.  “I’m glad that you’ve found this spot son.  You mother loved it too.”

“Did she?” asked Joe.

“Yes,” said Ben softly.  He felt the roughness of the rock against his own back and moved to ease it.  “Did Adam also tell you the legend about this rock?

Joe considered his father’s question for a moment.  “No,” he said.  “I don’t think so.”

Ben settled himself back again against the grey rock.  “”There was an Indian brave long ago who loved and Indian maiden, but they were parted when she left him to go with her tribe.  His heart was broken, so he came to this spot where they had spent time together …”  Ben’s eyes misted over again as he thought about his own love who had left him also.  

“Then what happened?”  asked Joe.  “Did she come back?”

Ben shook his head.  “No, she never did.  One day he never returned to his tribe and when they came looking for him, they found this rock right here when he’d been standing.”

Joe looked at the rock behind him.  “So, he turned into the rock?”  he asked wonderingly.

“Apparently so,” replied his father. “He is supposed to be forever here in the place that they loved, waiting for her.”

Joe considered for a moment.  “That’s nice,” he said. 

“Yes,” Ben replied softly, staring across the water.  “It is.”

Joe leaned forward suddenly. “Hang on!” he said excitedly.  “I think I’ve got one!”  He pulled in another large fish.  “Yippee!”  he said as he took it off the lone.  “That’s six now!”  He tired it to the string with the others and held them up for his father’s inspection.  “Pretty good, don’t you think, Pa?”

Ben slapped his son on the back.  “Sure is son,”  he said.

“Well, I’d better get these back to the house if Hop Sing is gonna have ‘em in the time to get ‘em ready for supper.  You coming Pa?”  He stood up and started packing away his fishing line. 

Ben stroked the rough rock beside him, then stood up and smiled at his son.  “Yes,” he said.  “You go ahead son.  I’ll be there in a minute.”  He turned and looked over his shoulder as the rippled water and heard the rustling of the wind through the pines.  Yes … He would return here again with Joseph … probably many times from now on. 

Ben raised his finger to his lips and kissed them before waving his hand gently in the direction of the lake.  “Goodbye, my love,”  he said softly.  “I’ll be back to visit with you again.”  He touched the grey rock beside him again, knowing that Marie’s spirit would always be here waiting, just as in the legend … and the thought of it warmed his heart.

Ben followed his son slowly toward their horses, watching the young man with the same loving tenderness that he’s also felt for his mother.  He glanced over his shoulder one more time at the beautiful scene behind him.  No … there were some things a man couldn’t share with his son … especially about the spot where he’d been conceived. 

——————-

Author’s note:  This story is based on the scene in “Her Brother’s Keeper” when Ben takes Clair to the Lake of Tears and tells her the Indian legend.