Summary:  Adam has an embarrassing misadventure he would rather not discuss, and his father has a reason to support him in that decision.  The two do share their information with each other however.

Rating = T     WC = 3969

Bull

Chapter 1

Tired of the incessant teasing from his brothers, Adam had volunteered for a week of working alone and reveled in the peace and quiet of riding the fence lines and checking the watering holes up in the high pastures all by himself. All he had to do was spend the day looking over miles of fences, fixing a few sagging poles, and making sure that watering holes had water in them. That wasn’t a problem because they had plenty of rain this year. He was in a good mood. No one was there to say anything disparaging about his new boots. He liked his new boots even if they were a bit fancy. He thought they suited him just fine. No one was going to say anything about him losing any weight either and worrying about whether it was because he had no lady in his life. Well, that was over too even if they didn’t know it. Philomena was due to arrive the next day. An excellent horsewoman, he had invited her to the Ponderosa to stay for a few days so they could do some riding together. He had a few days off coming to him after volunteering for this duty and then there was the weekend and the dance. There would be no more teasing about not having someone special there. He would not have to endure those worried looks from his father nor muttered complaints about the lack of grandchildren.

A pleasant week couldn’t be marred by the dark clouds building over the high granite peaks of the Sierras. He knew he would likely be riding home in the rain, but that didn’t dampen his spirits. With only a few areas left to check, he guessed he would likely be close to home before the storm hit. That’s when he heard it though: the sound of a bull bellowing. He had to hope it was a challenge to another bull or some other easy problem to fix, but as he rode into the next small valley, he groaned. One of their prize bulls was sunk up to his prize bollocks in mud. There was only one solution. Adam rode near him and lassoed him around the horns. The bull didn’t like that much but couldn’t do much about it either. After tying the rope to his saddle horn, Adam took a good look at the situation. He pulled off his coat and tied it behind the saddle. He thought about removing his boots but knew he wouldn’t have enough traction in bare feet. He did pull off his boots and removed his socks though thinking that at least when he poured the water out of his boots, he could at least have dry socks to put on his feet. He stuck his socks into his coat pockets. He took off his pistol and secured that to his saddle as well. With a deep sigh, he turned to the bull.

“All right, you overpriced picnic roast, don’t try to gore me or I’ll come back for that pistol and shoot you.”

Grabbing a stout stick from beneath a tree, Adam made his way into the watering hole and worked his way to the side of the bull. Once he was in position and keeping a firm hand on the rope, he began to push and yelled for Sport to pull. He used the stick to pro the bull in the backside to get it to move forward. Progress was very slow, and he didn’t notice how the storm clouds had moved up on them until a bolt of lightning flashed and was followed almost immediately by a deep rumble of thunder just as Adam let go of the rope for a moment to hitch up his pants that were slipping down. In no immediate danger from the lightning, Adam wasn’t too worried except that Sport panicked and jumped forward as did the bull freeing itself from the mud causing Adam to fall sideways into it. Another crack of lightning and the two animals were off running. Using the stick, Adam managed to force himself upright slowly but felt his boots slipping away. When he tried to keep his feet in his boots, the lack of socks gave him no traction to do that and he sank deeper into the mud. He had to give up on the boots or stay stuck in the mud. Slowly he struggled out of the mud until he was on firm ground. He looked in the direction that Sport had run with the bull tied behind him. Then he gazed up at the rain that had started to fall.

“Thank you so much. At least it’s not snow.”

The sarcasm was lost on the storm. Barefoot, drenched, and with only a stick for supplies, he was about a mile from an old line shack. He had been using a newer one, but it was many miles further away.

“I hope that old line shack hasn’t collapsed. We haven’t used it in years. With all the snow up here, the roof might be gone, but at least it ought to have a fireplace and four walls. I can make a lean-to out of it if nothing else. I need a fire to warm up. I’ve got nothing else.”

Shivering already, he took off his shirt and ripped the sleeves from it sliding one over each foot and then used strips he tore from his shirt to hold those in place. Once he felt he had protected his feet as well as he could, he began the long walk in the rain to the line shack.

“Someone will find Sport with that bull tethered to him and come looking for me. I do not want to think about the teasing I’m going to get over this. At least I’ll have Philomena. Once they get a look at her, that might quiet them some.”

To take his mind off the trek in the cold rain, he did some singing until it got darker and he needed to concentrate on each step. As he neared the old line shack, he thought he smelled smoke and began to proceed carefully. He didn’t know who could be up here, but he was unarmed and unable to defend himself against any threat. When he got close enough to the line shack, he could see that it was occupied. He moved slowly toward it and intended to look in the single window to observe the occupant or occupants to see what he was up against. However as he neared the place, a donkey began braying and a figure stepped out of the line shack with a shotgun at the ready aimed directly at his middle.

“You just head on outta here, mister. This is no place for you.”

“Actually, miss, this is the place for me. I own this line shack, and this is no place for you.”

Laughing, the woman pulled the trigger back on one barrel of the side-by-side gun. “The Cartwrights own this here property, and you sure as heck ain’t one a them. Now git.”

Pulling himself up to his full height and trying to assume as much dignity as he could while bare chested and with his feet wrapped in rags, Adam had to assert that he was. “I am a Cartwright. I’m Adam Cartwright, and I fully intend to enter my line shack and get warm. If you shoot me, I assure you that you will probably hang. Now, if you would be so kind as to get out of the way, I’m cold and wet and I want to go inside.” He walked up to her then hoping she wouldn’t shoot. Dying of a shotgun blast would be more painful than dying of exposure, but one way or another, he needed to get out of this rain. She didn’t shoot but watched him warily and kept the shotgun pointed at him as he entered the shack. He moved the fireplace and stood before it shivering and shaking. That must have made her feel sorry for him because she set the shotgun down and got him a rag to wipe himself. He did and felt better with part of him being dry. He removed the cloth from his feet and inspected them for injury. He had a few small cuts but nothing too serious. Seeing the cuts, she decided to help.

“I’m Mavis McDonald from up on the mountain. I was using the shack on my way down to town to sell my furs and then on my way back. Ben Cartwright knows I use this shack and never complained.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know that. We haven’t used this one for years. I wasn’t even sure it was still standing, but after an unfortunate series of events, I needed it.”

“What happened?”

With water dripping from his pants, he stood by the fire and looked at her. With a sigh, he decided to go ahead and tell her the whole story and let her laugh. She did, but she had the good grace not to laugh loudly or too long. She was sympathetic.

“I only got the one blanket. I was on my way home. I use the mattress on the bunk that you got here. I guess we could share ’em, but you’re wet. I got an extra skirt I bought for my ma. She’s bigger’n me so it would fit ya.”

“You want me to wear a skirt?”

“Well, I ain’t gonna be sharing a cabin with ya ifn you’re wearing nothing and ya gotta get them wet pants off and drying so you can get warm, now dontcha?” Mavis rummaged around in her packs and pulled out a dark green skirt. Adam was relieved that at least it wasn’t frilly and feminine. She thrust it at him and he reluctantly took it. She turned her back. “Now shuck them wet pants, dry yourself, and pull on that skirt. Supper’s ready and I’m hungry. I’ll share it with ya, but ifn it burns, that’s the part you get.”

As quickly as he could, Adam stripped off the sodden pants, dried himself with the rag that was now rather wet too, but at least the skirt was easy to put on. In a few minutes, he told her he was ready. He had to admit she was good at holding in her laughter but he saw the crinkles at her eyes and he could hear her snort as she served up the stew she had cooking at the fireplace. She had a plate and a cup. She took the cup and gave him the plate. She gave him the fork as she used a spoon.

“We got coffee too, but we’ll have to eat the stew first, and then take turns with the cup cause I don’t carry no extras with me.”

Adam relaxed with the stew and the coffee and especially because Mavis had ample reasons to tease him or make fun of him but didn’t. She was kind to him which meant a lot. When it was time to sleep, the two of them dragged the mattress from the bunk to the fireplace and she put her saddle pad down next to it. She told him to sleep closest to the fire.

“I’ll keep all my clothes on and you ain’t got much cept that fur on your chest and a skirt. We can share the blanket. You keep your hands to yourself now. I’m a respectable woman.” She said it with a smile though so he knew she was teasing about that.

“I know you are, and a very gracious hostess too. Thank you.”

They slept side-by-side then listening to the wind howl and the thunder rumble. In the morning, Adam was up first and felt rather silly walking outside to do his business in a skirt but his pants were still wet. He guessed that once Mavis was awake, they could put his pants closer to the fire and try to dry them better. They did and they were drying but it took quite a while in the damp air after the rain. Adam thought he heard something and was going to look outside when he heard a voice hailing the shack. Then another voice called out.

“Oh, no, that’s Hoss and Joe, my brothers. They can’t see me in this skirt. Please, go tell them I’m getting my pants on and I’ll be right out.”

A few moments later, the door slammed open and Philomena stood in the doorway just as Adam struggled to pull his wet pants up and over his bare buttocks. It’s not easy pulling on wet pants. Mavis had told her, Hoss, and Joe that Adam had spent the night with her in the cabin and needed to put on his pants. Furious, Philomena had dismounted and gone to confront Adam. She saw the single mattress and single blanket in front of the fireplace, and Adam wearing nothing but a pair of pants and an embarrassed look. She stormed away and mounted up not giving him a chance to explain anything before departing. Mavis walked to stand by Adam as he stood watching Philomena ride away.

“Good riddance. She knew you and give you less of a chance to explain than I did, and I never laid eyes on ya before last night. Ya need to find a nicer one than that one.”

Adam nodded as Hoss and Joe began laughing at the spectacle. Adam had lost his new boots and his new lady. He was going to endure worse teasing than he had before this week. He had sore feet and he had to ride home barefoot. At least they had Sport with them and his coat. He wouldn’t be cold. He turned to Mavis, took her hand and bent to kiss it.

“Thank you. You have been the only bright spot in an otherwise very dismal time.”

Hoss had the good grace to at least dismount and bring Adam his coat. Adam dug the socks out of the pockets and slipped them on before pulling on his coat and buttoning it up tight. Mavis leaned in close.

“Don’t go putting on that pistol rig too soon. You might get to feeling an itchy finger and want to plug those two yahoos ya got for brothers. I already do and they ain’t even laughing at me.”

“Mavis, I like you a lot. I’ll tell Pa I met you and told you to keep on using this shack as long as you like.”

“Well, thank you. While you’re talking to your pa, ask him about how we met. It might take some of the sting outta what you had to put up with.”

And finally Adam had a reason to smile again.

Chapter 2

Heeding the advice Mavis had given him, Adam refrained from shooting his brothers but it was a close call several times. Little Joe had the most irritating cackle for a laugh even when you were in a good mood. It was positively the most irritating sound known to mankind when you were already irritated to the point of wanting to shoot your siblings to get them to shut up. Knowing his father would be upset if he shot his brothers, Adam was forced to limit himself to entertaining thoughts of various scenes of torture and mayhem he could visit upon his brothers in his mind. Neither of them could read minds, but he suspected that Hoss had a fairly good idea of why he was smiling. Several times Hoss looked back once he realized that Adam was smiling. That gave Hoss a very sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He suspected that he was going to pay for all that teasing he and Little Joe had done. He tried to get Little Joe to stop, but the boy was hell bent on self-destruction. He never did learn when to back off with their older brother. He paid the price every time, but he never learned the lesson. Hoss decided he was going to try to be extra nice to Adam every chance he got and maybe there wouldn’t be any retaliation. Sometimes that worked.

Once they got home, Little Joe made sure though that he was going to pay a penalty. He started telling everything he knew to their Pa, and then he started asking questions putting Adam on the spot. Ben looked expectantly at Adam waiting for answers.

“I met Mavis, Pa. She said that I could talk to you about how the two of you met and it would take the sting out of some of my misadventure. Would you care to tell your story first?”

Suddenly far less curious, Ben let Adam off the hook. “Oh, that’s ancient history, Adam. No one needs to hear those old stories. If you’d rather not explain what happened to you, that’s quite all right too. Hop Sing will get a warm bath ready for you, I’m sure. Would you like me to get some clean clothes and your shaving kit for you?”

“Yes, Pa. That would be very nice. Thank you.”

As Adam exited toward the washroom and Ben headed up the stairs, Little Joe was dumbfounded. “Hoss, what just happened here? Why didn’t Pa want Adam to tell him what happened? Now we won’t know what happened either.”

“We can guess, but I suggest you let it lie. Sometimes it’s best not to wake a sleeping mountain lion. It can be a lot safer that way.”

“Huh?”

Later in the washroom, Adam slipped into the warm water and closed his eyes in appreciation. A short time later, his father entered the room with clean clothing and his shaving kit for him. He was about to leave when Adam had a question.

“Pa, if I tell you what happened to me, in confidence that is, would you tell me what happened to you when you met Mavis. My curiosity is piqued.”

“I must admit mine is too. But if I tell you, this story can never be repeated to your brothers.”

“The same is true for me. So it’s a deal?”

“Deal.” Ben moved to the door and shut it firmly.

Adam began by telling what happened with the bull and then told everything that had happened up to Philomena entering the line shack finding him pulling his pants on.

“So they weren’t quite up to your waist?”

“No, thank goodness I was facing away from her or she would have seen the whole package. It’s not easy pulling on wet pants. I was tucking myself in and then pulling the pants up over my behind when she walked in. She got quite a view, I’m afraid. It couldn’t have impressed her too much. She stormed out of there never to be seen again.”

“She came back here to get her things. She hadn’t unpacked her bag so it didn’t take long. She had a few choice words about you and then left.”

“Mavis said I needed a nicer one than that because she never let me explain what happened. She saw what she saw and assumed I had a tryst in the cabin.”

“With Mavis?”

“Apparently.”

“Mavis probably thought that was funny too.”

“Mavis is very nice. She was very kind to me. Any other woman might have made me feel very uncomfortable in that very uncomfortable situation. She did her best to put me at ease and never did anything to make me ill at ease. Now how about you?”

“I met Mavis when I was still running a trap line so you know how long ago that was. It was when I was working a string of traps that I came upon this disreputable, smelly, foul-mouthed trapper. We ended up working together for a time because frankly it was easier to do that and safer. However it wasn’t pleasant. I’ve never been in the company of someone who could take the sunshine out of a day like that one. Suspicious of everything and everyone. Angry at the world. More selfish than anyone I had ever met in my life. The one good thing you could say was hard working. That was it. In a column of good versus bad, there was one good mark and four score of bad marks. Name was February. Said the first ones in the family were all named after the month in which they were born so there was a March as well as an August and then an April and a June before the parents gave up on it and had a Mavis and a Eugene. Anyway, I made the best of it. I tried to get February to take a bath. Twice, I stripped off everything when we found nice pools of warm water, and I waded in and bathed. February wouldn’t join me. I would wash my clothes and hang them on the bushes to dry. February wore the same clothing the entire time.

Finally we got to February’s family encampment. Turns out that every one of them was married except February and Mavis. Mavis had once been married but her husband had died of a fever. She couldn’t bring herself to marry again. February for reasons I’ve already mentioned had never married. However February’s father suggested I ought to marry February. I said I wouldn’t marry a man. I told him in no uncertain terms of course that that was ridiculous. He started to laugh and others began to join in.” From the look on Adam’s face, Ben knew that he had guessed the twist in this story. “Yes, that’s when I found out that I had been traveling with a woman, the most despicable, foul-mouthed, unpleasant woman you have ever met or could ever imagine meeting in this world. By bathing, I had exposed myself to her. I had talked to her in the most crude terms thinking she was a man, and you can imagine how I felt about that. Those people laughed so hard I thought that any number of them might pass out for lack of air. February didn’t laugh though. No sense of humor in that one. Well I did become friends with the rest of the family and worked with them on trap lines that season and the next seasons until I gave that up. Mavis and I worked together more often than I worked with the others because she had no partner. I used that line shack up there which was actually our trappers cabin then, and told her she could use it any time she needed it. There, now you know my story too.”

Holding back in his laughter because his father had politely held back earlier, Adam asked only one question. “Any idea of what ever happened to February?”

“I heard she got caught in one of her own bear traps and got eaten by a bear.”

“Ouch. Tough way to go even for a despicable woman.”

“Probably gave the bear stomach problems.”

Adam laughed. “There now the stories are told, and we never need to speak of them again.”

“What stories?”

Father and son shared a laugh. When Adam emerged later, he and Ben talked about business as if nothing unusual had happened. Nothing was ever said about Adam’s misadventure. Little Joe was thoroughly frustrated, but Hoss cautioned him to never ask a question about it again. At least in this instance, he wisely heeded Hoss’ advice.

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Family, Hoss Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright