Posted in Ben Cartwright, Drama, Post Timeline, Writing Challenges

The Telegram (by BluewindFarm)

   Published Date: October 11, 2013  8 Comments on The Telegram (by BluewindFarm)

Reviewer: sklamb 
Date: 09 Nov 2013 01:35 am Title: The Telegram
Intriguing and complex tale that keeps the reader somewhat mystified right up to the end–thank you for putting a bit of a spin on your response to this challenge!
Author’s Response:sklamb, thank you for taking the time to read and review.  The challenge was difficult enough to write, but I know I wanted a spin, as you stated, to keep the readers confused until just the right moment of the story.
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Reviewer: Young Lady
Date: 19 Oct 2013 02:56 pm Title: The Telegram
I, too, needed to reread it to fully understand it. Very well done.I just have one question – who is Clarissa?
Author’s Response:Glad you gave my story a second chance in order to understand what was happening.  Thank you!As for Clarissa, she was/is Ben’s cousin who travels around the country staying with one family member or another, causing all sort of havoc in the process.  She means well, but has definite ideas on the lines of employer vs. employee as well as respected member of the community vs public servant (Sheriff / Doctor) and the lines don’t cross or mingle.
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Reviewer: Jan
Date: 16 Oct 2013 11:14 pm Title: The Telegram
I had to read this twice – didn’t really get it the first time, but on the second go round, I saw how cleverly you wove this story together. Well done.

Author’s Response:Hi Jan, thank you for taking the time to read the story twice in order to understand it.  I found it was not so easy to write a story regarding this challenge posted in the forums and not have it be apparent from the beginning ‘who’ it was about.  So, I kind of came at it in a round about method.

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Reviewer: Cheaux 
Date: 11 Oct 2013 10:39 pm Title: The Telegram
The end was a little confusing, but it was an interesting take on the challenge.  I liked the bit of mystery at the beginning and the mention of all the possible Cartwrights.
Author’s Response:  Cheaux, sorry that my story was a little confusing, it was the only way to not have the reader know up front ‘who’. But I do  believe that those who meant the most to us and have passed on before will be there to see us across to the other side.  As for who would see this individual across, I’m sure there was quite a long line of people.  As for the ending regarding Paul’s comments, without giving away too much of my plot, the beginning happened while this individual was unconscious.
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Reviewer: jfclover
Date: 11 Oct 2013 01:16 pm Title: The Telegram
Interesting concept, bwf.  Our Cartwrights are dropping like flies.  Just look what Inca has started!  Well done!
Author’s Response:JFCLover, I’m glad you approve.  If people don’t like the idea of the boys dropping like flies, as you said, Inca started this!  ;o)
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Reviewer: JoeC 
Date: 11 Oct 2013 11:39 am Title: The Telegram
I was amazed how much information about our Family and the doctor you put in this story. The plot remains me a little like x-factor.Well done. Thanx for sharing. Helga
Author’s Response:Helga, I’m glad we both wove a little bit of suspense into our stories in allowing the reader to not know exactly ‘who’, but for them to realize as the events played out.  Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.
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Reviewer: Inca
Date: 11 Oct 2013 11:35 am Title: The Telegram
Very cleverly done, BWF.  had me going there, trying to work that one out!  And you actually had two dead Cartwrights, not one!  Well done!

Author’s Response:Inca, I’m glad I could stump you for a short time.  And you’re right about the number of dead Cartwrights, I didn’t think of it that way when I was writing the story, I only killed the one.  Thank you for taking a moment to read and review.

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Reviewer: dmc824
Date: 11 Oct 2013 06:18 am Title: The Telegram

This was wonderfully done. A bit of a suprise ending but very tastefully done.

Author’s Response:

DMC, thank you for taking a moment to read my story and leave a review.  I’m glad you enjoyed.

 

Pages: 1 2

Author: BluewindFarm

A dressage rider who's a cowgirl at heart. I wasn't old enough during the heyday of Westerns on TV. However, with the introduction of cable and satellite services in the 1980's, I fell in love with Bonanza, Lancer, The Big Valley, The Rifleman, and The Wild, Wild West, among others. Through syndication and fanfiction; our heroes will live on forever. I hope you enjoy the stories I've written, and I look forward to reading your comments.

8 thoughts on “The Telegram (by BluewindFarm)”

  2. What a lovely story! I agree with Judy about Pernell Roberts. Personally, I never thought of him as a great actor. The other cast members just pulled him along. This story was a great way to answer the challenge. Good job!

    Edited to remove spoilers to the story.

  4. Dear Author Bluewind Farm (That sounds like a great farm name!),

    I think you passed the challenge the best way possible! Truly, this is the ONLY death of a Cartwright acceptable to me—I typically don’t read them. What is the point of loving the Cartwrights— and then killing them? As for Jamie, I just ignore the episodes in which he was featured. I’m with you—none of the Cartwrights died; it didn’t bother me for Adam to “ pursue other interests”. Frankly I think fan fiction writers created a personality for Adam that was lacking in Pernell Robert’s portrayal.

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