Summary:  Ben finds it necessary to take a young Little Joe on a long stagecoach trip

Rated: K (7,090 words)

One Hell of a Trip

“Hurry up Joseph,” said Ben as he knocked the wooden door. “Have you finished yet?”

Joe opened the door and frowned up at his father. “I done told ya Pa … I don’t need to go.”

“Get back in there and try again,” said Ben sternly, giving the small boy a push inside the outhouse and shutting the door firmly behind him. “I’m not having you tell me that you need to go the minute we get on board that stagecoach like you did last time. Hurry up.”

“Finished!”  Joe flung the door open again and Ben leant down to straighten up his son’s suspenders before taking his hand and leading him towards the main street again. “Are we gonna get on board the stagecoach now Pa?” the child asked excitedly.

“Soon,” replied Ben.  He smiled down at the small boy swinging on his arm as they walked, wishing that he had the same outlook on life that his five year-old had.  Joe was so excited about this trip and Ben had to acknowledge that his behaviour had been better than he could possibly have hoped for, but even so a five year-old and a ten-hour stagecoach trip were not things that one looked forward to putting together. Ben would never have brought the little boy with him if he could have avoided it, but with Adam having to get the horses they’d promised Colonel Myers to Reno he’d had no option but to bring his youngest son with him on this trip to the Sacramento bank. Hop Sing was visiting one of his numerous cousins and had agreed to take Hoss with him.  Ben would never have asked anyone to mind Joseph, as the child at five was quite a handful and would have been too upset to stay away from his family.  It was only six months since his mother had died and he was still very insecure about being separated from any of them.

So he’d been forced to bring his youngest son with him. It had been Joe’s first real trip that he could remember and everything had been a great adventure to his son, from the horses and the stagecoach to the city of Sacramento itself. As they approached the stagecoach, however, Ben silently thanked the Lord that they were on their way home again.  Two days of trying to keep a small boy occupied while at the same time getting his business at the bank finished had been rather trying.  Now he had a long trip with Joe in the stagecoach ahead of him and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

He smiled down at the small boy beside him and Joe grinned back at him, his excitement shining in his eyes. “Any luggage mister?” asked the stagecoach driver and Ben indicated their bag which he hoisted up to the man.  He kept a canteen with him, as he knew that Joe would most likely need a drink before their first stop.

“On we get now,” he said and grinned at the sight of his small son eagerly trying to climb aboard.  He hoisted him up by the back of his trousers and then followed him into the stage.

“Pa … I wanna sit next to the window,” whined Joe. “You said I could sit next to the window and look out!”

Ben put his hand on the boy’s head to shush him. “Be quiet Joseph,” he said sternly. “Wait until everyone is settled first.”  Little Joe made a face and tried to sit still, but his exuberance threatened to overflow at any minute as he wriggled on the narrow seat. He watched as a thin man climbed on board and settled himself opposite them. He smiled at him, but the man merely gave him a hard look and then turned to stare out of the window.

Joe wriggled again. “Now?’ he asked his father.

Ben shook his head as an older woman climbed on board.  She was rather large and the whole stagecoach tipped slightly to one side as the springs contracted under her weight.  She smiled at the other inhabitants and then plonked herself down with a sigh next to the other man. “Hello everyone,” she said cheerfully. “It looks like we’ll be travelling companions for a while. My name is Martha Kelly.”

Ben tipped his hat. “Ben Cartwright ma’am,” he said. “And this is my son Joseph.”

“Hello there dear,” said the woman,’ beaming at Joe. She looked expectantly at the thin man beside her and he reluctantly tipped his hat as well.

“George Davis,” he said tersely and then turned towards the window again.

Martha smiled around at them all again. “I’m going to Carson City,” She announced and looked at Ben expectantly.

“I’m going to Carson City as well,” said Ben.

“Me too!” declared Little Joe excitedly. “I’m going with my Pa.”

“Yes I figured that out dear,” said Martha as she settled herself further on the seat.  Her ample frame covered three-quarters of it, so that George was only left with a small section. When two more people climbed aboard, he gave them a meaningful look and Ben drew Joe towards him to allow the young couple room to sit next to them.

“Hey!” protested Little Joe. “I ain’t got much room Pa!”

“You don’t need much room,” said Ben, lifting him up and wedging him between the window and his own knees. “Keep still and be quiet.”

“Yes,” said George sternly. “Be quiet boy. Children should be seen and not heard.”

“Can’t ya hear me?” asked Joe in a friendly fashion and leant forward. “I said that I ain’t got much room,” he repeated in his biggest voice.

George gave Ben a hard look and muttered something under his breath about children and stagecoaches, while Ben bent down and whispered in Joe’s ear. “Be quiet Joseph.”

Little Joe opened his mouth to reply to his father, but his eye wandered towards the young woman sitting next to them and he said nothing.  His mouth hung open as he forgot what he had been about to say and he put his finger in his nose as he stared at the woman. Ben hit the small finger down again and then turned to tip his hat at the young couple beside him. “Ben Cartwright,’ he said when the others had finished their introductions. “And this is Joseph.”

The man reached out his hand and shook Ben’s. “Matthew Fitzroy,” he said cheerfully. “And this is my wife Sarah.”

“Have you got enough room?” asked Ben. “I can put Joseph on my knee for a while if you’d like.”

“No, we’re fine thank you Mr Cartwright,” replied Sarah sweetly. “Isn’t he a darling little thing?” she added, smiling at Joe.

Ben smiled back at her. “Thank you,” he said as the stage lurched forward and Joe stood up expectantly to hang his head out of the window. Ben pulled him down again and received an accidental kick in the shins in return. “Joseph sit down,” he said firmly. “And be careful where you put your feet.”

Joe turned and grinned at his father. “It’s great, ain’t it Pa?” he said excitedly.  Ben nodded as he tried to shush the child. Joe looked around the stagecoach in an interested fashion, staring at first one person and then the next until his eyes lit on Sarah again and he stared at her for several minutes.

Finally the young woman felt his eyes upon her and turned to smile at him. “Hello,’ she said.

“Hello,’ replied Joe in a friendly fashion. He stared at her for another minute. “You stick out in front,” he said suddenly. “Is that cause you’re gonna have a baby?”

Sarah blushed red. ‘Well … yes,” she said.

‘Joseph!’ warned Ben. ‘That is enough.”

Joe gave his father a hurt look. ‘But I was only saying,” he protested. “Anyway she ain’t as fat as that other lady.”  He pointed to Martha. “She takes up nearly the whole seat.”

Everyone was quiet and Martha looked embarrassed. Ben put his hand over Joe’s mouth and whispered something into his ear that made Joe frown and shut his mouth quickly. “I’m sorry,” said Ben lamely.  Martha said nothing, but merely clenched her jaw and looked out of the window in stony silence.

Suddenly the stagecoach hit a rut in the road and everyone jerked uncomfortably to the left. Joe began to giggle. “That was fun,” he said happily. “Do ya reckon they’ll do it again Pa?”

“I hope not,” said Ben.

“I hope they do,” said Joe eagerly as he tried to put his head out of the window again. “Look … Sacramento looks real little back there now.”

“Are we going to be subjected to that boy’s chatter all the way?’ asked George suddenly, giving Ben a hard look. “I don’t expect to have a child interrupt my journey.”

Ben gave the other man a searching look. “I’m sorry if he offends you,” he said. “He’s only five and a journey like this makes it difficult for a small child to keep still.”

“It makes it difficult for all of us,” sniffed George. “I don’t think they should allow children on stagecoaches.”

“The little boy has just as much right to be here as all of us,” interrupted Sarah. “Here you are Joseph … have a peppermint.”  She handed Little Joe a piece of candy and he took it, his eyes shining happily.

“Thank you ma’am,” he said politely and then popped it into his mouth before looking out of the window again.

“I’ll try to keep him as quiet as possible for your sake,” said Ben tersely, giving George a hard look. “I’m sorry if his presence offends you.”

George sniffed again and opened his newspaper with a rustle, burying his face behind it without another word. Sarah shifted on the seat beside Ben and her husband looked at her anxiously. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Relax Matthew.”

Ben smiled at her. “Your first?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, patting her stomach. She indicated Joe. “We love children … don’t you worry too much about the little boy disturbing us.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “It’s nice to know that some people are tolerant of children.”  George sniffed significantly again from behind his newspaper and Ben tried to hide his amusement at the fact.

“How many children do you have Mr Cartwright?” asked Sarah.

“Three boys,” replied Ben. “Joseph is the youngest.”

“We hope to have lots of children,” she said, patting her stomach again. “Do you and your wife want more than three?”

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Little Joe. “My mama is dead,” he said, as he took his peppermint out of his mouth and gave it a cross-eyed look to see how much he’d sucked it. “My Pa don’t got no wife no more.”

Sarah immediately looked embarrassed. “Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“So are we … ain’t we Pa?’ said Little Joe sadly, putting his peppermint back in again. Ben nodded and said nothing. There was an uncomfortable silence in the stagecoach, interrupted only by the sound of Little Joe sucking on his peppermint. After a few moments, he reached over and tapped George on the knee. “Scuze me mister,” he said.

George put down his newspaper and looked at the little boy impatiently. “What is it?” he asked crossly.

Little Joe placed both his hands on the man’s knees and gave him an intense look. “Do you have a wife mister?” he asked curiously.

“No I don’t!” he replied and moved his knees away from the boy. “Now my trousers are all sticky … really!” he took out his handkerchief and began to wipe the sticky fingerprints off them.  Ben sighed and took out his own handkerchief, wiping Little Joe’s hands and then around his mouth for good measure.

“Sorry mister,” said Little Joe when he could get his mouth free from his father’s handkerchief. George merely grunted at him and then hid behind his newspaper again. Ben sighed … It seemed like it was going to be a long trip.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben’s head lolled to one side as the morning sun streamed in on him.  It had been a long three days since they had left home and the strain of it all was catching up with him now.  In spite of himself, he felt sleep overtaking him. Joe glanced at his father and then at the other passengers.  George was still reading his newspaper and Martha had fallen asleep as well with her mouth open.  Tiny snores emanated from her mouth and her chin quivered slightly. Little Joe stared at her with a fascinated look until a particularly loud snore made him giggle.  He put his hand over his mouth and glanced at his father to see if the noise had woken the man, but Ben slept on undisturbed.

Joe glanced over at Sarah who was smiling kindly at him. Suddenly the stage tilted to the left again and they hit another bump in the road and Joe giggled with glee. “That was another good one,” he announced happily.

Matthew looked at his wife anxiously. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Sarah nodded. “Yes,” she said, holding her stomach protectively. “Only I hope we don’t get too many of those.”

“I do,” said Little Joe. “It’s fun!”

George glared at the child as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pouch of tobacco. Little Joe’s eyes lit up when he saw it. “Are ya gonna smoke a pipe?” he asked. “My Pa smokes one of them.”

“No I’m not!” said the man crossly and began to roll a cigarette. Little Joe’s eyes popped out when he saw it. “Wow!” he said. “That’s real clever!  What do ya do with that mister?”  He leant forward and put his hands on the man’s knees to get a closer look, but George shifted his legs and pushed him back again.

“You’re surely not going to smoke in here?” said Matthew crossly. “I don’t think it would do my wife much good.”

“I don’t much care,” retorted George as he lit the cigarette.

Sarah held a handkerchief over her nose and began to cough. “I think you should be more considerate of others,” said Matthew.

George ignored him and continued to puff on his cigarette, trying to ignore Little Joe was gazing at him intently. “What are you looking at?” he said finally.

“You,” said the child simply, putting his finger in his nose as he gazed at the man.

“Well don’t!” said George.

“Matthew I’m not feeling well,” said Sarah suddenly and began to retch into her handkerchief.

“Are you gonna be sick?” asked Little Joe in an interested fashion as the woman began to throw up all over the floor. “Yuck!” he yelled, taking his finger out of his nose.

His shrill voice woke up Ben and Martha who both looked around in a puzzled fashion. “It weren’t me Pa,” said Little Joe immediately. “It was her!” He pointed at Sarah who was still bent over retching.

“Poor dear,” said Martha, leaning forward and patting the young woman on the back. “Never mind.”

“Never mind?” spluttered George indignantly. “She throws up all over us and you tell her to never mind? Really! This is becoming the trip from hell … what with women vomiting and …” he gave Joe a hard look. “…children all over the place.”

“She can’t help it,” said Matthew as he put his arm around his wife. “If you hadn’t been smoking this might not have happened.”

“Well excuse me!” snapped George.

“There are some cloths up on the rack,” said Ben. “We can wipe it up.” He stood up to reach them, but right at that moment the stage lurched to the right and he lost his footing and fell over Martha. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he got up.

“Pa fell on the fat lady,” giggled Little Joe.

“Joseph be quiet,” said Ben crossly. He got the cloths and handed them to Matthew who began to wipe up the mess on the floor. “Get your feet out of there,” said Ben, noticing that Little Joe was dangling his feet in the vomit. He pulled the child’s legs up and looked at them distastefully. “It’s all over your boots,” he said wearily.

“Perhaps we’d better ask the driver to stop for a few minutes,” suggested Martha. “So we can get all this cleaned up.

George hit the front of the stage with his fist. “Hey driver!” he yelled. “Hold up!”

The driver pulled to a halt immediately and reached for his gun. “Hold up!” he yelled, brandishing it around. “Where?  Where are the varmints?”

“There isn’t a hold up,” explained George. “Just a choice of phrase, that’s all. We need to get out for a few minutes.”

“No can do,” said the driver crossly. “This stage has to run on time. We’ll be stopping in an hour as planned when the horses need to.”

“But my wife is …”  Matthew’s words were lost in the noise of the stagecoach starting off again.

They all looked at each other for a moment. “Well we’ll just have to make the best of it,” said Martha. “Here you are dear … have a drink of water.”

“It stinks in here now!” said Little Joe as his father wiped off his boots. “Is she gonna throw up again?”

“I certainly hope not,” said George as he continued to puff on his cigarette.

“Well if you put that out she might not,” said Ben. George gave him a hard look and stubbed the cigarette out on the side of the coach.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the stage drew to a halt, the stench in the stagecoach was well and truly overpowering and all the occupants could hardly wait to get out. As soon as the horses stopped George flung the door open and jumped down, muttering something about a trip from hell and began to gulp down huge lungfuls of fresh air.

Matthew and Sarah got out next, Matthew supporting his wife who was still looking rather green. They were followed by Martha, who had some difficulty getting through the doorway. “Do ya want me to push your butt for you?” asked Little Joe helpfully from behind her and gave his father an indignant look as the man swatted him on his own small behind. “I was only trying to help,” he said.

“Be quiet,” said Ben firmly as he got down and pulled the child off the coach behind him. “Now I want you to pee.”

Little Joe looked around. “Where’s the outhouse?” he asked.

“There isn’t one,” said his father.

“I ain’t peeing in front of everyone!” said Little Joe indignantly.

Ben sighed, grabbed the child by the hand and took him behind a large rock. “Hurry up,” he said. “Then I want you to have a good walk around and stretch your legs.” He waited until the child had done what he had to and then helped him straighten up his trousers before giving him a gentle pat on the bottom. “Now I want you to listen to me,” he said in a low voice. “No more talking about that lady on the stage.”

“You mean the fat lady Pa?” said Little Joe in a loud voice.

Ben pulled him towards him. “Yes,” he whispered. “No more talking about how … well  …. large she is. Understand?”

“OK … but why?”

“Because it’s rude,” said his father. “Now go and stretch your legs.”

He attended to his own needs as Little Joe did as he was bid and walked around the area with extra large steps to stretch his legs as best he could.

“What are ya doing there boy?” said the driver, watching him with a puzzled expression.

“I’m stretching my legs,” explained the child. “My Pa told me to. What are you doing mister?”

“Watering the horses,” replied the driver.

“They’s nice horses,” said the boy, patting one on the flank. “What are their names?”

“How should I know?” snarled the driver, as he spat on the ground. “They don’t need names.”

Little Joe’s eyes lit up. “Hey that was a good spit!” he said. “I can do good ones too. My brother teached me. Watch!”  He let fly a huge spit, which unfortunately landed right on George’s boot.

“Really!” snarled the man and turned to Ben. “Can’t you control this brat of yours?” he said crossly. “The child has no manners, going around spitting at people!”  He walked away and began to wipe his boot on the grass by the side of the trail.

Little Joe gave his father an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean ta get his boot,” he said hastily, putting his small hands on his backside and taking a step away from his father.

Ben merely shook his head and motioned to the child. “Come over here and take a drink,” he said. “And no more spitting … do you hear me Joseph?”

“Yes Pa,’ said the child as he lifted the canteen to his mouth and took a large drink.

They all watched as the driver finished watering the horses and then threw a bucket of water over the floor of the stagecoach. “That should get rid of the smell,” he said gruffly.

Little Joe sniffed the air. “It ain’t,” he announced. “It’s still there some.”

“Well it’ll haveta do,” snarled the driver. “Come on everyone …. Back inside.”

“I’m so sorry,” said Sarah in an embarrassed tone.

“Think nothing of it,” said Ben, patting her on the arm. “You couldn’t help it.”

They all climbed back on board and settled themselves on the seats. As they lurched off again, Little Joe grinned up at his father. “This sure is fun, ain’t it Pa?” he said happily.  Ben didn’t answer, as they were all jolted to the left side of the stage again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben untied the thong that held up the leather curtain in an attempt to stop the interminable dust from coming in on him. “Pa!” said Little Joe indignantly. “I can’t see all the things out there now!”

“Close your eyes and have a rest for a while then,” said his father.

“It is a bit rank in here with that curtain down,” sniffed George, giving Sarah a dark look that made the woman blush and turn away.

“I’m sorry,” said Ben. “But I’m choking on dust back here. Unless you’d like to swap seats?”

“No thank you,” said George firmly. “Does the boy really have to do that?” he added crossly.

Ben put his hand on Little Joe’s knee. “Joseph, keep your feet still,” he said.

“Thank you.  It’s bad enough being so cramped without being kicked every two minutes,” said George grumpily. He took out a hip flask and took a swig from it, taking no notice of the appalled look that Martha gave him as he did so.

“I don’t think you should be drinking on board,” she said firmly.

“I don’t much care what you think,” he replied and took another swig from the flask.

“Well it’s not a good example for the child,” she said huffily.

George took yet another swig from the flask. “I told you I don’t care,” he replied. “The brat’s not my concern.”

“Really!” said Martha and turned to look the other way out of the window.

“Can I have a drink too?” said Little Joe. Ben reached up and took down his canteen, handing it to the child to have a drink.  Little Joe drank thirstily before handing it back to his father. “Thanks Pa,” he said. “Are we there yet?”

“No,” said Ben wearily, wishing with all his might that they were.

“How much longer?”

“Quite a while yet,” replied his father. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep?” he suggested, thinking that at least it would give everyone some quiet time.

“No thanks,” said Little Joe happily. “I ain’t sleepy.” Now that his view had been taken from him, he looked around for something to focus his attention on and began to stare at Martha. She smiled back at him and he grinned at her.

“Ow!’ said George.

“Sorry mister,” said Little Joe contritely. Ben reached over and picked up the child, wedging him on the other side of him next to Sarah and away from George. “I don’t wanna sit here,” whined Little Joe. “I wanna sit next to the window.”

“The curtain is closed and you can’t see out anyway,” said his father firmly. “You’ll sit there.”

“But what if the lady is sick again?” said Joe. “I’ll get it all over me Pa!”

“Can’t you keep that child quiet?” snarled George. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

Ben gave him a dark look and ignored him. “I’ve got nuthin to do,” whined Little Joe. “There’s nuthin to do on this stage.”

“Have a rest,” suggested his father again.

“I ain’t sleepy.”

“For heavens sake!” said George. “Can’t you just be quiet boy?  Children should be seen and not heard.”

Little Joe stared at the man for a few minutes and then whispered to his father. “That man don’t like me.” Ben shushed him. ‘But why don’t that man like me Pa?” persisted the child.

“Be quiet,” said his father.

Little Joe scowled at George and sat back on the seat. Suddenly the stage lurched once again and a box fell off the rack above them and hit Ben on the head. “Are you all right Mr Cartwright?” said Martha anxiously.

Ben rubbed the sore spot on his head. “Yes,” he said. He stood up to replace the box and the stage lurched once again, causing him this time to fall on top of Sarah. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she said, once she’d got her breath back. “I’m all right Mr Cartwright … really.”

Little Joe giggled. “Pa fell on another lady,” he said happily. “You was funny Pa.” Ben didn’t answer the child, but eased his sore body down onto the narrow seat again.  “Hey Pa?’ said Little Joe suddenly.

“Yes?”

Little Joe leaned forward and put his hand up to his mouth, whispering in a voice that everyone could hear. “I gotta go!”

Ben gave the child a pained look. “You’ll have to wait,” he said.

His son clutched the front of his trousers. “I can’t,” he said. “Must be all that water I drank.”

Ben cursed himself silently for allowing the child to drink so much. “You’ll just have to hold on for a bit son,” he said. “You can go when we get to Placerville.”

“I’m holding on as hard as I can Pa,” said Little Joe, holding onto the front of his trousers desperately. “But I think it’s gonna come out anyways.”

George groaned. “Don’t tell me we’re going to have to put up with this now,” he said angrily. “I said before that children shouldn’t be allowed on stagecoaches.”

“The little boy can’t help it,” said Sarah. “Is there something he could go into?”

“I ain’t going in front of everyone,” said Little Joe indignantly as he clutched himself even tighter. “Too late,” he said sadly as he felt the moisture begin to trickle down his leg. “I done went already Pa.”

Sarah and Matthew drew back from the pool that was forming around the child’s feet and Martha picked up her skirts so that they were free of it. George said nothing, but his look spoke volumes. Ben sighed and reached for the cloth above his head again and began to mop it up. Little Joe merely sat there and watched his father.

“Stand up,” said Ben. He pulled the child to his feet and mopped the seat he’d been sitting on as well as the back of his trousers as best he could.

“I’m all wet,” said Little Joe unnecessarily.

“Stand up for a while until your trousers dry,” said Be. “Here …. Lean against the door.”

“But they’re all sticky Pa!” whined Little Joe.

“Your other trousers are in the bag on top,” said Ben. “You’ll have to wait until we get to Placerville before I can get them for you.”

Little Joe leaned obediently against the door of the stage, Ben holding him in place as they all lurched around. After a few minutes a distinct smell began to seep through the stage. “Now we have to put up with the smell of that boy’s accident,” complained George. “Honestly, this is the trip from hell.”

“Language!” said Martha sternly.

George gave her a dark look as Ben closed his eyes momentarily.  He mentally ticked off the hours they still had to travel as he clung on tightly to Little Joe who was swaying precariously from side to side as he stood on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Here,” said Ben, bending down with the trousers in his hand. “Pull your trousers down and we’ll get these dry ones on you.”

Little Joe pushed his father’s hand away. “Pa!” he said indignantly. “Not in front of everyone!”

Ben sighed. “Joseph, no one is looking at you. Now come on.” Little Joe shook his head and gave his father one of his best stubborn looks and Ben sighed again. “All right,” he said wearily. “Come on then.”  He took the little boy by the hand and began to walk down the street towards an alleyway.

“Hey mister!” called out the driver. “Where are you going?  I’ve got a schedule to keep!”

“I’ll only be a couple of minutes,” called back Ben. “Hurry up Joseph!”  He dragged the child behind him to the alleyway and into the small outhouse there. “Hurry up,” he said. “We don’t want to miss the stagecoach.”

Little Joe’s eyes widened and he quickly began to pull down his trousers. “I haveta go Pa,” he said urgently.

“Well hurry up then,” said his father. “Quickly!”  As soon as the child had finished he pulled the fresh trousers onto him and shoved him out of the outhouse. “Now wait there for a minute while I’m inside,” he said.

Thirty seconds later when he opened the door again, Little Joe was nowhere in sight. “Joseph!” Ben called. “Come here!” He looked around, but there was no sign of the child. “Joseph!” he called again. He walked to the end of the alleyway and looked up and down the street, but didn’t catch a glimpse of his son. With a shake of his head he strode back to the stagecoach and looked around. “Has anyone seen Joseph?” he asked. “Did he come back here?”

“No,” said Martha. “Can’t you find him?”

“No,” said Ben, beginning to get worried. “He just took off.”

“All on board!” shouted the driver. “We got a schedule to keep to!”

“You’ll have to wait until I find my son,” said Ben anxiously.

The driver spat onto the street. “Can’t wait fer no one mister,” he said. “Get ya bag off if ya ain’t coming with us.”

“Please!” said Ben. “He’s only a little boy.  He can’t have gone far.”

“I’ll help you look,” said Matthew. “Come on driver, it won’t take long.” He pointed up the street. “You go that way and I’ll go down the other way,” he said.

Ben patted him on the arm. “Thank you,” he said.

“You’ve got two minutes!” the driver shouted after them. “After that I’m leaving with or without yas!”

Ben ran frantically up the street, scanning the area for the little boy and calling his name frantically. By the time he’d reached the end of it, he was extremely worried and his heart was beating quickly both with the anxiety of not finding the child and the strenuous exercise.  He turned back towards the stagecoach again, scanning the other side of the street when he spied Matthew in the other direction carrying Little Joe. “Thank the Lord!” he breathed and ran back towards them.

“Here,” puffed Matthew, thrusting the boy into Ben’s arms. They both climbed on board the stagecoach and sat down, panting to get their breath. As soon as he had, Ben stared angrily at the child in his arms, who merely smiled back at him.

“Where were you?” he said. “I told you not to move!”

“I was gonna go back to the stagecoach,” explained Little Joe, his expression turning from a smile to a frown instantly. “But I couldn’t find it.”

“He was down the other end of the alleyway,” said Matthew. “He must have turned the wrong way.”

“You are a naughty boy!” said Ben crossly.  He turned the child over and swatted him several times on his small behind, causing Little Joe to set to wailing immediately.

“I didn’t mean to Pa!” he sobbed. “I was trying ta help by being quick!”

“Next time do as you’re told!” said Ben crossly, ignoring the child’s sobs and plonking him down on his lap again.

Little Joe continued to yell out his indignation for several minutes. “Are we going to be subjected to that child’s yelling now?” asked George sarcastically. “Isn’t it enough that he kept all of us late?”

“Be quite Joseph,” said Ben sternly, but Little Joe took no notice of his father and continued to cry loudly. Ben stared out of the window, ignoring the harsh looks he was getting from everyone, including his small son.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben shifted the sleeping child on his lap as Little Joe once again kicked out his sleep. “I’m sorry,” he said to Sarah next to him as she rubbed her leg. “He’s a very restless sleeper.”

“That’s all right,” she said wearily. “At least we have a bit of quiet while he’s asleep.”  She tried to shift sideways on the seat as Little Joe’s legs moved again, but didn’t have anywhere to go.  Ben held onto the child’s legs and Joe flung his arms sideways instead. Ben tried to move him further up onto his shoulder, but the movement woke the child and his head bobbed up immediately from his father’s lap.

“Are we there yet?” he asked hopefully.

“No,” said his father. “Go back to sleep.”

Joe took no notice, but sat up instead and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles while Ben tried to smooth out his matted curly hair. “I’m awake now,” Joe announced happily to everyone.

“Oh good,” said George.

Joe grinned at him, not aware of the sarcasm in the man’s tone. He stared over at Martha who was snoring softly in the corner with a trickle of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth.  Joe leant closer to the woman and stared at her for a full minute with a puzzled expression on his face. “Hey Pa?” he said presently.

Ben opened his eyes. “Yes?” he asked.

“Do ladies shave like men do?” asked the child.

Ben closed his eyes again. “No,” he said.

Little Joe nodded thoughtfully. “They jest let their whiskers grow then, do they? Funny I ain’t never seen a lady with a beard before but.”

Ben opened his eyes again. “What are you talking about?” he said wearily. “Ladies don’t grow beards.”

“She does,” said Little Joe, pointing at Martha’s chin. “See? She’s got whiskers.”

Ben put his hand over the little boy’s mouth, thanking the Lord that the woman wasn’t awake to hear him. “Shush!” he said sternly.

Sarah hid her smile behind her hand, while Matthew looked out of the window and tried to keep a straight face. George merely ignored the interchange and continued to glare at Ben as he had for the past hour.

“Be quiet,” whispered Ben. “I told you before not to talk about the lady.”

Little Joe gave his father an indignant look as he pushed his hand away from his mouth. “But you said not to talk bout how fat she is,” he declared in a loud voice. “You never said nothing bout her whiskers Pa.”

Ben put his hand back over the boy’s mouth again and leant close to his ear, whispering something into it.  Whatever he said obviously satisfied the child, as he happily began to swing his legs and hum to himself happily. “That’s a song my mama sunged to me before she went to heaven,” he informed Sarah.

“That’s nice,” the woman replied.

“I know lots of songs,” said Little Joe eagerly. “You wanna hear some of em?”

“No thank you,” said Sarah.

“Mind your legs boy!” said George crossly as he hit the small swinging feet.

“Ow!” said Little Joe crossly. “That man hit me Pa!”

Ben shifted the boy onto the seat beside him and held onto his legs. “Keep your feet still,” he said.

Little Joe gave a dramatic sigh as he looked at his father’s hand on his legs. “Are we there yet?” he asked again hopefully.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Finally!” breathed George as Carson City came into view around the corner. “This has been one hell of a trip and all I can say is that I’m glad it’s over!”  He reached up and took down his newspaper and a small bundle wrapped in cloth, before straightening up his clothing.

“We’re here Pa!” shouted Little Joe shrilly and Sarah winced at the child’s strident tones in her ear. She rolled her eyes at Matthew, bent towards him and whispered into his ear. “I think we need to talk about that large family we said we wanted.  I’ve decided that this one might be enough.”  Matthew nodded in agreement as they both watch Little Joe jumping up and down in his excitement.

“Joseph keep still,” said his father sternly. “We’re not there yet and you’re making the stage rock.”

“Yes we are!” shouted Little Joe excitedly. “Look Pa!  There’s Adam waiting for us down there!”  He turned to the others. “That’s my brother Adam,” he informed them.

“How nice,” said George sarcastically. “Remind me to give him my commiserations.” He gave Ben a filthy look as Little Joe happily leaned out of the window again.

“Adam!” he shouted. “Hey Adam! I’m here!”

He leant forward even more and Ben immediately pulled him back by the legs. “Get inside!” he said sternly. “You’ll tip out if you’re not careful!”

The stagecoach drew to a halt and George immediately opened the door and jumped out, striding down the street without saying a word to anyone. “Good riddance,” said Martha as she got up to disembark. “I’m not sorry to see the back of that one!”

Little Joe stared impatiently at the woman’s large behind, which was blocking the doorway. He glanced up at his father, but Ben shook his head sternly and the child shut his mouth as he jiggled from one foot to the other in his impatience.

“Ow!” said Sarah, rubbing her foot.

“Sorry lady,” said Little Joe. “I didn’t mean ta step on you, but I can’t get past the fat lady.”  He put his hand over his mouth and his eyes widened as he stared at his father. “I didn’t mean ta say she was fat again,” he said defensively.

Martha, who had by now reached the street, turned back towards them and said huffily. “Nice travelling with you. Goodbye.”

“After you,” said Ben politely to Sarah and Matthew as he held Little Joe back from the door.

“No, please,” said Sarah in a tired voice. “Just get the little boy off first. I think it would be best, don’t you? Good bye.”

Ben gave them both a half-smile and turned to pick up Little Joe, but the child was already climbing down by himself. “Hey Adam!” he called again as he fell down the step and landed in the dirty street. “We’re back!”  He picked himself up and ran into his brother’s waiting arms.

Adam swung his little brother up into the air and then put him on his hip before turning to shake his father’s hand. “Good trip?” he asked.

“Don’t ask,” groaned Ben as he took his bag from the driver.

“Sure was,” said Little Joe happily. “It was one hell of a trip!”

Adam’s eyes widened. “What did you say?” he asked in disbelief.

“I said it was one hell of a trip!” Little Joe informed him again. “Weren’t it Pa?  We had fun.”

“Joseph!” said his father in a shocked voice. “No more of that language young man!”

Little Joe’s eyes widened. “Why not?” he asked innocently. “That’s what the man said!”

“Well it’s not something for you to say,” replied his father sternly. “We’ll have a talk about that word when we get home.”

“OK,” said Little Joe, unfazed. “Hey Adam,” he continued as they began to walk down towards their buggy. “There was a lady with whiskers on the stagecoach. She could snore real good too and she was real fat.”

Adam smothered a giggle. “Really?” he said, bouncing his brother on his hip as he walked.

“Yep …. And Pa lied on top of her.”

Adam raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. “Joseph!” said his father.

Little Joe looked at his father. “Well you did Pa,” he said. “You lied on the other lady too. Pa was real funny,” he said to his brother.

Adam sniffed the air. “You stink,” he said.

Little Joe nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “It was real smelly in there when the lady threw up, weren’t it Pa.”

Ben shook his head at Adam wearily. “And it didn’t help when a certain someone wet his trousers,” he said.

“That was me,” Little Joe explained unnecessarily to his brother. “It just came out.”

“It sounds like you had a wonderful time,” laughed Adam as they reached the buggy.  He put his little brother on the seat and then turned to his father. “Maybe Joe’s description of the trip was accurate?”

Ben sighed as he put his bag into the back of the buggy. “I suppose he was just being a typical five year-old,” he admitted. “Only next time I have to take him with me on a trip Adam, do me a favour please?”

“Sure Pa,” said Adam with a grin. “What?”

“Remind me to just stay at home?” laughed Ben as he climbed on board the buggy.

The End