Summary: Hoss talks to Adam while taking care of him. Ben faces the unthinkable. And copes.
1,300 words, rated K.
My Story Index and reading order for the Art-Universe
Taking Care
Well, big brother, let me do that for ya. I have your comb here already, and—what? ‘course I’m using your comb. I know you find it in-high-jenic to use someone else’s comb. Haven’t fergotten that scolding.
Woah, your hair’s gotten mighty long. You jest be glad Pa ain’t seeing this. He always thinks it’s Joe who don’t want to go to the barber, but I know it’s you who’s always stalling. Naw, I don’ tell him. I ain’t no telltale, you know that. Always kept your secrets, right? Only this time I should have told…
Boy, your hair gets curly when it’s long! Naw, don’ worry, I ain’t laying it in no curls. Joe would, but I know you like it straight. And you want ta look good for the ladies, doncha?
Come on, Adam, you know they gonna come. Don’ tell me you ain’t seen how the ladies ogle you. They do. All the gals at Miss Kitty’s—what? Yeah, I know you don’t care for them gals, but they care for you, that’s for sure. And Miss Abigail—now that ain’t my fault, Adam, that was all Joe’s idea. I jest—well, but it was funny, you hafta admit that, Adam.
Oh, lookee here, Adam, there’s a little spider in your hair. I always said your hair is so thick, some day a bird’s gonna built its nest in it. Alright, alright, I’m gonna take it out.
You look mighty fine, Adam. That white shirt and black jacket—you look like you gonna go to your wedding today. Jest don’t bite me head off, Adam, I know you don’t need someone else to pester you about settling down and have a family. I know you never found the right gal for that. What? The right lady, yeah, I know.
I’d really like to do more for you, but I reckon there’s nothing left now. Should have done somethin’ before…I would have come with you, but of course, you wanted to go alone. Ain’t never been the one to ask for help, are you? Naw, not Adam, great pertector of the family. Only this time you needed more pertection than us.
I’m awfully angry with you, Adam. Naw, I ain’t calming down. This time you hafta listen. I’m mad at you, and I ain’t gonna forgive you, hear me? And it ain’t because of Pa or Little Joe. This time I’m mad at you for myself. Because now I’m the big brother, an’ I dunno how to be that.
Damn you, Adam, for getting yourself killed, damn you.
Dammit, Adam…I love you.
*** fin ***
This was a heartfelt and sentimental piece! Definitely got the tears rolling.
Wow. 1,300 words… 1,300 perfect words that had me wondering exactly what was wrong with Adam… “why can’t his comb his own hair? Why would he be all dressed up if he was ill?” And then “… only this time I shoulda told.” Oh, my. This was truly brilliant… and heartbreaking.
Hoss said it all. So moved by this beautiful, tender writing.
Faust, you are one of those rare writers who can deliver an emotional wallop with few words, carefully chosen and artfully arranged, leading without manipulating. Hoss’s monologue here is so real and true to the character, and the gentle ending is even more powerful because of its subtlety — a silent explosion, unheard but reverberating in the marrow. I will return. 🙂
Yes, it’s me again, almost to the year from my last reading . It popped up in the random stories and I couldn’t resist. Still feels like a punch to the gut. Still brilliant.
This one always hits me square in the chest. Poor Hoss… who will look out for him now? Joe schemes, and Ben will be broken. 🙁
Its been a long time since I read this one because it feels a little too real. It stays with you long after the last word is read. It worms its way deep into you and pops up when you least expect it. It’s powerful. It’s painful. It’s brilliant.
People’s raw emotions, that’s what I wanted to convey with this set of stories. I dread rereading this myself in light of certain losses, so I know you were brave to come back to it.
Thank you for the praise! These are early attempts, written when fiction and English were still new to me, so your kind words are cherished the more.
Oh. Oh Faust. You’ve left a lump in my throat that I wasn’t counting on tonight. Beautiful, touching writing. Thank you.
Oh, I never saw this comment! I’m sorry for my late reply.
Thanks a lot for reading this, LC, and for reviewing. I’m sorry for the heartache. The individual parts of this compilation were written for prompts, and they are what founded my reputation as KAOS-writer. At the time, though, I found it interesting to look into grieving people’s minds, to explore how they cope, and I tried to find the right words to express what I saw.
I’m glad you think I succeeded with that.