Chapter 5

Joe was shatter by the guilt and pain and starts to sob unashamedly. “I’m so sorry Pa I never meant to hurt her. I know it may seem like a lie but I love Amelia very much and it never was my intention to hurt her. I just didn’t want to hurt her I tried to avoid it but she is hurt because of me and she hates me” said Joe sadly. “And I hate myself too”.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself son. You made a mistake but never doubt that she won’t forgive you or that she doesn’t love you. Just give her some time to cool off” said Ben.

“Pa’s right Joe Amelia didn’t mean what she said” assured Hoss. “No Hoss she meant every word and I can’t say that I blame her. If I were her I would hate me too” Joe said full of guilt as he sulked over to the barn.

His father and brothers look at each other worriedly. They hope that the two most stubborn Cartwright’s would work things out and for things to go back to normal.

They each couldn’t stand to see their love ones hurting but they knew that they need to work things out for themselves.

The next day was hell for Amelia because Rachel and some of the other girls were still teasing her about Joe and Miss Browney and that she should be nice to the teacher since she might be her new sister in law.

Amelia couldn’t handle the teasing and blamed Joe for it. At lunch time Amelia was sitting on the ground underneath her favorite oak tree when Emily walks over to her.

“Hey Mia mind if I sit with ya?” asked Emily. She felt sorry that her best friend was being tease at and that she was fighting with her brother who she loved so much.

“If you sit with me they’re gonna tease you too” stated Amelia. “I don’t care” said Emily sitting next to her.

She looks at her friend and could tell how unhappy she was. Amelia looks at her friend’s concern stare. “I don’t know what’s worst being teased or avoiding my brother” said Amelia sadly.

“Have you tried talking to him?” asked Emily. “No because every time I see him I get angrier with him. I said something’s to him that I can’t take back” said Amelia full of guilt.

She hated fighting with her brother and she wanted more than anything to make things right with him but she couldn’t because she was so hurt by what he did.

“Come on it probably isn’t that bad. What did you say to him?” asked Emily curiously. She knew that Little Joe and Amelia rarely spat but when they did it really hurt them.

“I told him that I hated him. That he was no longer my brother. I also told him that I wish he was dead and that he was dead to me” sobbed Amelia.

Emily touches Amelia’s arm comfortingly. “Joe knows that you didn’t mean it and that you were just hurt by what he did. I’m sure he would forgive you for what you said” persuaded Emily.

“I doubt it. Why did I have to overreact? Why do I feel as though I lost my best friend?” asked Amelia. “One you overreacted because you felt betrayed that Joe didn’t tell you. And two you feel as though you lost your best friend because you did. I’ve seen how close you and Joe are. You’re each other’s best friend; the one person you trust more than anyone else” said Emily understandingly.

“What if Joe and I don’t fix this? What if we won’t have the same relationship as we did before?” asked Amelia.

“I guess you won’t know unless you talk to him. Besides you guys had spats before and always manage to work things out” said Emily.

“Yeah I know but it’s different this time” said Amelia. “Look Mia I can’t tell you that you would have the same relationship with Joe but after all of this maybe you both would learn something about trust and how much you love each other. You still love Joe don’t you?” said Emily.

Amelia looks at her friend “Of course I still love Joe its hard not to when he has been there for me since I was born”.

“And I’m sure it’s the same for Joe. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you and that he was only trying to protect you. You’re very lucky to have a brother like Joe and you’re even twice as lucky to have Adam and Hoss as brothers” said Emily.

“I guess you’re right” Amelia said as she considered what her friend told her.

After school that day Amelia rides directly home and walks upstairs to her bedroom. Ben was walking in the living room from the kitchen when he saw his daughter running up the stairs.

Concern Ben hurries after her to find her lying across her bed shedding tears. Ben walks over to her and takes her into his arms and comforts her.

He then pulls away from her and looks at her. “The other kids were teasing you again?” asked Ben. Amelia nods her head. “Don’t worry baby they’ll forget about it and move on to something else” assured Ben.

“I hope so Pa but I still don’t understand why Joe would do something like that to me” said Amelia confused. “Little Joe never meant to hurt you. Do you know what he told me?” asked Ben. Amelia looks at him and shakes her head.

“He told me that he loved you so much that he didn’t want to break your heart” said Ben. “He said that?” asked Amelia surprised. “Yes he did” replied Ben.

“I’m really sorry for the things I said to him Pa. I never meant a word honest” said Amelia. “I know you didn’t but your brother was really hurt by what you said. He was so hurt he cried” Ben said.

“He did?” asked Amelia surprised. Ben nods his head.

“Where is Joe?” asked Amelia curiously. “He should be doing his chores with your brothers” said Ben. “I better go apologize to him” said Amelia.

“Just a minute, I want you to understand that your brother loves you so much and regrets what happen. I understand your anger and I understand that you think that Joe could’ve handled this better and I agree with you” said Ben. “But all he could think about was how much this was gonna hurt you and he didn’t want that”.

“I know Pa” assured Amelia now understanding why Joe did what he did. He didn’t do it to hurt her he just didn’t know how to tell her without hurting her.

Now that she understood her brother’s motives Amelia felt guilty for how she handled it and how she acted toward him.

Amelia gets up hugs and kisses her father before walking out of the room.