Summary: Paralyzed after suffering a rare stroke, Little Joe will need faith the size of a mustard seed in order to fully recover.  Rating T, WC 45,000 Fourth in the Whatever it Takes series, links to all stories in the series included.

Whatever It Takes Series:

Whatever it Takes
Absolute Faith
A Part of the Main
Mustard Seed
To Help a Stranger (by Deb)
Of One Breath

The Mustard Seed

 

“If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall be moved; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”

Saint Matthew 17:20

 

Ben Cartwright walked back over to the grandfather clock at the entranceway of the ranch house.  He pulled out his pocket watch to make sure he was reading the clock right.  Ben frowned when he realized that it was right on the money.  It was one in the morning and still no sign of his youngest son.  Joe had been told to come home after he finished his chores but obviously had chosen to be disobedient.  That was beginning to be the norm for the boy.  He was in a deep rebellion stage and Ben could not for the life of him figure out why.  Though Joe had always been of a volatile nature, still, he wasn’t known for such blatant failure to obey his father.

Ben sank down in his chair by the fireplace and stared into the burning embers.  He thought of how different each of his three sons were.  Adam the dependable one.  Hoss the big hearted one.  And then there was Joseph.  He had always been the child who had provoked his father the most.  His quick temper came so easily to the boy that Ben wondered if it wasn’t in some way inherited instead of a learned behavior.  Joe could be the angriest and yet the most sentimental of all his sons.  He was like a walking vile of mercury and as hard to handle as nitro.

Ben knew that some of Joe’s behavior of late was due to his jealousy of his brothers.  He felt that they were treated differently than he was.  Ben sighed deeply, he knew he had always tried to treat the boys equally but sometimes found himself leaning on the older two more than the third child.

Releasing Ben from his thoughts, the door opened and Joe walked in quietly. He undid his gun belt and tossed it on the credenza.  Taking off his hat, he noticed his father waiting up for him.  He frowned at the thought.  He had hoped he would make it to his room before he had to come up with an alibi as to where he had been at such a late hour.

“This ought to be good.”  Ben stated as he folded his arms across his chest and waited for Joe to join him in the living room.  Joe strode slowly over to the settee and waited for what was to come.

“Well?”  Ben began.

Joe shrugged his shoulders noncommittal.  “Well what?”  He replied.

“It’s after one o’clock.  Weren’t you told to come home after you finished your chores today?  Or should I say yesterday?”

“I’m too tired to fight, Pa.  Can this lecture wait until tomorrow?”  Joe muttered starting to show signs of anger.

“Look at me when I talk to you.”  Ben commanded and approached his wayward son.

Joe looked up as he had been instructed and Ben caught sight of the boy’s bruised face.  He moved closer to inspect it and Joe pushed his father’s hand from his cheek.

“I am okay.”  Joe insisted, still trying to avoid direct eye contact.

“Let’s hear it.”  Ben put his hands on his hips and waited.

“I had a fight in the bar.  It was no big deal.”  Joe said and stood.  He wanted to beat a fast exit to the stairs but Ben’s body blocked him.

“Oh no you don’t!  I want to hear all of it!”  Ben raised his voice.

“That is all of it.  I had a couple of drinks, got in a fight and came home.  End of story.” Joe snapped back.

“Watch your tone of voice, Joseph.”  Ben warned.  “What has gotten into you lately anyway?  You have been so hard to live with.  You mind telling me why?  Or do I have to stand here guessing all night?’

“It’s you!”  Joe spat out and then noticed his father looked like he had been cut.

“Me?  Now what have I done?”  “You treat me like a kid, Pa.  I am twenty-two years old now.  But, you treat me like I am still a baby.  You trust Adam and Hoss with all the important stuff and I get the same old jobs.  I feel totally like a ranch hand.  Maybe I should be out in the bunkhouse or something.”

Ben stared into Joe’s burning green eyes and saw hurt behind them.  It was as he originally thought; Joe was jealous of his brothers again.

“Sit down, Joseph and we will talk—not shout at each other.”  Ben insisted and Joe reluctantly took a seat opposite his father.  He stared down at the floor, feeling guilty for having shouted at him.

“Now you know that I put you in charge of the horses.  I thought that is what you liked best of all.  Has that changed now?”  Ben’s voice was softer now as he fought to win back his son.

“Pa, it’s not that I don’t like that.  But, it gets old watching Hoss and Adam being in charge of the timber crews and the herd and just about everything else important to this ranch.  While I continue to be the baby brother who breaks the horses.”

Ben leaned back in his chair and his mind searched for something to help the situation.  “I have given you many responsibilities over the years, Son.  And you have always done a great job.”

“Yeah, but always with Adam and Hoss breathing over my shoulder.  The other hands all turn to them and brush me right off.  No one really respects me around here.  I’m still just the kid.”

“I know that being the youngest is at times difficult for you.  But then, being the oldest and being the middle child also have there down sides too.”

“You just don’t understand.”  Joe shook his head.  “Can I go to bed now?”

“We’ll talk again in the morning.”  Ben nodded and watched as Joe’s sad form ascended the stairs.

The next morning at breakfast Joe was the last one to join the family in the dining room.  He quietly took his seat without uttering a morning greeting.  He drank his coffee as his brothers all chatted on.

“Short Shanks, you look like the mouse the cat dragged in.  What’s wrong with you?”  Hoss asked passing his brother some more coffee.

“I’m fine.”  Joe responded.  He still didn’t look at the others around the table.

“You want to come out to the timber camp, Joe?  We could use an extra hand out there.”  Adam asked and that got Joe’s attention.

“Hand?  Is that what I am to you, Adam?  Just a hired hand?”  Joe questioned vehemently.

“That’s not what I meant at all, Joe.”  Adam had hurt in his response.  “I just meant—”

Adam was cut off by Joe as he left the table in a huff.  Then they all braced themselves for the slam of the front door.  Joe didn’t let them down.

Ben folded his hands and rested his head on them.  He knew he had to do something to bring back Joe’s sense of purpose.  Explaining to his other two sons what had gone on the previous night, Ben came up with a plan.

After both Adam and Hoss had left for their day of work, Ben met Joe out on the front porch.  He told Joe to come inside, and Joe responded very slowly to the order.  He wasn’t sure if he was going to get another lecture, and was really not much in the mood for one.

“I have something for you to do.”  Ben said as he walked into his study and sat down.  Joe took a seat next to his father and waited.  “The herd needs to be moved.  Looks like winter is coming early this year and we have to get the entire herd down to south shore before we get snowed under.  It’s gonna take a lot of work to do it in just ten days.   I figure we’ll be lucky if we make it in time.  So, you choose the best hands for the job and you handle it on your own.”  Ben looked up to see the expression on his son’s face.  The boy looked totally bewildered by what his father had said.

Joe thought of how important his task would be, and he wondered internally if he really could gather the scattered herd in time to make the long trek to safe grazing land.  Joe also knew the value of the cattle and realized that his father was trying to show him that he did indeed trust him to handle it.

“You are doing this because of last night, aren’t you?”  Joe asked cautiously.

“I’m doing this because I trust you to accomplish it.”  Ben replied smiling.

“And Hoss and Adam?  They gonna be in on this?”

“No, they are busy with their own assignments.  This is all yours, Joseph.  You are on your own.  Here is a bank draft for the money you will need for everything.  You can cash it today if you’d like.  But, I suggest you get started right away.  You’ve got a whole lot to do in a short period of time.”

Joe took the piece of paper from his father’s hand and looked into his eyes.  Then came the smile, the one that let Ben know he had won back his youngest son.

“Piece of cake.”  Joe laughed and patted his father on the shoulder.  He turned to leave and Ben watched the proud saunter the boy now had.

 

Night settled over the ranch house and the three oldest Cartwrights sat in the living room discussing their long day.  They each secretly worried about Joe, but no one uttered a word.  An hour later Joe appeared coming in the front door.  He wore a very tired countenance as he walked across the room.

“How’d it go, Son?”  Ben called over to him, stopping Joe from his march to the stairs.

“Everything is fine.  I already got the men and we are hitting the trail at daybreak.  Think I’d better turn in.”

“Joe, this is a tough job.”  Adam started and watched as Joe turned toward him.  “Pa picked the right man for it.”  Adam continued and noticed a smile crease his brother’s mouth.

“Yeah—Little Brother.”  Hoss chimed in.  “Glad he got you and not me!”  Hoss laughed.

“Goodnight.”  Joe nodded to them all to signal that he knew of their intentions and appreciated their vote of confidence.

By the third day of the drive everything seemed to be going against progress.  One hired hand got hurt and had to be sent into Virginia City.  Another hand got good and drunk and almost started a stampede.  Joe had the feeling he was losing the battle.  He sat by the campfire drinking his coffee as his friend Renny walked up to him and kneeled down on one leg.

“You okay, Boss?”  Renny flashed his crooked smile at his friend.

Joe shook himself from his worries and smiled back at him.

“Just tired that’s all.   What about you?  I thought you already turned in?”

“I ain’t as tired as you, Joe.  You really have been pushing yourself!  You did more today than half the trail hands here.  You got to slow down a little. This is tough country to drive them steers through.  It only takes one wrong move and we’ll send those cows all over the hills.”

“I got it under control.  I’m gonna have those cows to south shore in four more days.”  Joe insisted.

“Four?  I thought you said we had ten days to drive ‘em?”

“I don’t want to take any chances, Renny.  The weather can turn on us.”

Renny put his hand on Joe’s shoulder and stared into the hazel eyes.  “Okay, Joe, I’ve known you since we was in school.  That’s not the reason and you know it!  You are trying to prove something to your old man, right?”  Renny tried to force the truth out of his friend.

“Well—maybe so.  But, you never know about the weather either.  I will get them there and have three days to spare.”

“And your Pa will be so proud of you.”  Renny teased playfully.

“It’s not only him.  I want to see the looks on Hoss and Adam’s faces when they find out too.”  Joe revealed his motives at last.

“Then you better get some sleep.”  Renny slapped Joe on the back and walked back over to his bedroll.  Joe couldn’t sleep.  He felt his body controlled by one hundred per cent adrenalin.

“You want us to go check on him, Pa?”  Hoss asked noticing the way his father wore a far away stare.  It had been five days since Joe had last walked out of the ranch house and his absence was felt by all.

“No, I promised Joseph that the three of us would stay out of his way.  No peaking over his shoulder.  He still has five more days.  I’m sure he’ll make it.”  Ben said but Hoss could read the worry on his father’s face as he spoke the words.

“Well, then I’m going out to the timber crew and bother Big Brother for awhile.”  Hoss laughed trying to break the tension.  He patted Ben’s arm as he stood from the table.

 

There was only one more day left to beat the self-imposed deadline.  Joe leaned back against his saddle and pulled up his blanket.  He had pushed the men hard, and himself more than anyone.  He was having trouble sleeping at night and pushed himself to the limit each day.  Joe knew he could make south shore by sunset the next day and then looked forward to his triumphant return home.  He visualized the faces of his family when he would tell them what he had accomplished.  That thought brought a broad smile to his face.

“Hey.”  Renny said kicking the bottom of Joe’s boots.  “You got my spot.”  He teased Joe.

“It must be your spot—it has more rocks than anywhere else in camp.”  Joe responded and pulled another stone out from under his bedroll.  Renny spread out his bedroll next to Joe and looked over at him.

“Hey, Joe—you don’t look so good.  You feeling okay?”  Renny noticed Joe’s face seemed drawn and very pale.  Even from the light from the campfire he could see the exhaustion that Joe’s face displayed.

“I’m fine, Renny.  Honestly, you fuss over me like an old mother hen.”  “Still—you just don’t look right.  You hurting or something?”            “No—my dang arm just fell asleep—I’ve been trying to wake it up for awhile now.  Guess I laid on it funny.”  Joe rubbed his left arm to bring back the circulation.

“You sure that’s all?”

“Yes, that’s all!  Now stop running your mouth and get to sleep!  We have twenty more miles and then this job is finished.  And you can tell the rest of the guys that the drinks are on me as soon as we reach Virginia City.” Joe grinned.

“Oh—I already told them that!”  Renny laughed.  “Why do you think they haven’t mutinied yet?”

“Go to sleep.”  Joe whispered and rolled onto his side pulling his hat over his eyes.

Renny galloped over to where Joe sat on Cochise staring at the sight of the south shore of Lake Tahoe.

“You did it!”  Renny yelled and slapped Joe’s back hard.

“No we all did it.”  Joe would not take full credit.  “You all did a great job and I will see to it that there is a bonus in all of this too!”

“A bonus and free drinks!  I hope I work with you again.”  Renny laughed.

“Well, get a couple of the boys to stay with the herd.  I’ll send some replacements out when I get back to the ranch house.  Then, you all can go and whoop it up at The Silver Dollar.”

“Okay, Boss.  Oh, enjoy your success when you tell your family!  Try to be a little humble, huh?”

“Not on your life!”  Joe cracked a smile and broke into his laugh.  He turned Cochise toward the ranch house.  He couldn’t wait to get home.

 

“Joe?”  Adam called surprised to see his youngest brother walk in the door.  “Hey, Pa!  Joe’s back!”  He called and Ben and Hoss walked out of the kitchen with their coffee cups.

“What’s wrong, Son?”  Ben approached Joe worried that there had been a problem moving the herd.

“Problem? No problem.  The herd is grazing at south shore now.”  Joe grinned and stood proudly waiting for his family’s surprised looks.

“Seven days?”  Adam called as he joined the other three by the door.  “You got the entire herd to south shore in seven days?”

“Yep.  And didn’t lose any either.  I just sent a couple of the hands from the bunk house over to relieve the last of my men.”

Both Adam and Hoss clapped Joe on the back happily.

“Way to go, Short Shanks!  I knew you could do it!”  Hoss said exuberantly.

“Good job, Joe.  I don’t think any of us could do as well as you did.”  Adam’s eyes gave way to the compliment he had paid his brother.  Joe felt the sincerity of it pass straight through to his heart.

“Thanks brothers.”  Joe turned toward his father.  “You haven’t said much, Pa.”

“I’m still trying to figure out how you did this!”  Ben laughed and then ruffled Joe’s hair affectionately.  That was something he wouldn’t have even thought of doing a week ago, but it came natural and Joe showed in his eyes that the gesture was accepted.

“Well, think I’ll turn in.”  Joe announced.  He made it half way across the room and had to stop at the arm of the settee.  He sat down abruptly right there.

“What’s wrong?”  Ben asked as he neared his son.

“My leg—it just went numb all of a sudden.”  Joe started massaging his left leg briskly.  “It’s probably just from being in the saddle so long today.”

Ben looked back and forth between Adam and Hoss and wondered what the problem with Joe really was.  Joe stood again and took a few precarious steps and turned around to stare into the worried faces of his family.

“It’s okay now—see?  I just need to stretch out awhile.”  Joe reassured his family and started again for the stairs.

The other three family members noticed how Joe’s gait was suddenly different.  He favored his left leg and leaned heavily on the banister.

“I’ll have Doc Martin come and check him tomorrow.”  Ben told his other sons.

“Oh, Pa, you worry too much.”  Adam protested and put his hand on his father’s shoulder.

“It’s probably just like the kid said—he’s just tired.”  Adam spoke the words but didn’t feel their meaning in his gut.

The older members of the family took their seats at the breakfast table.  Joe had not yet awakened and they all were in agreement that the boy needed some extra rest that day.

“You do know why Joseph pushed himself so hard don’t you both?”  Ben asked sipping his coffee and turning to look at his two sons.

“Wanted to show us all that he could do it and do it better than anyone else.  He’s lucky he didn’t kill himself, the cows and the hands pushing them so hard.” Adam stated.

“Well, he did it.  That’s all that should matter now.”  Hoss replied and passed around the food.  “Maybe we can take him out and celebrate his victory.  What do you say, Pa?”

“Yes, the three of you deserve a day off.  Why don’t you go and wake him now, Hoss?  Tell him the good news.  It ought to perk him up enough that he’ll join us for breakfast.” Ben smiled.

“Okay, but if you hear screaming it’ll mean he ain’t ready to get up yet!”  Hoss laughed and walked up to his brother’s room.  He entered the bedroom and walked over and pulled up the blinds to cast sunlight into the room and into Joe’s eyes.  After years of waking his little brother up, Hoss had figured out the best way to do it.  Next he would shake him or pull out the pillow under his head.  That usually did the trick.

Hoss approached the bed and stared down at his brother.  It was only then that he noticed something was terribly wrong with the boy.  Frightened for Joe, Hoss hurried out into the hallway.  Panic took over his voice as he yelled down for help.  Ben and Adam almost collided on the stairs as they ran to see what was wrong.

 

All three Cartwrights circled around Joe’s bed.  Ben made his way over to the head of the bed and reached down to touch his son.

“Joseph?  Can you hear me, Son?”  Ben called softly trying to bring him around.  He had noticed the same thing that Hoss had noticed originally.  Joe was lying on his back; his entire left side of his body seemed contorted and not aligned with the right side.  The left side of Joe’s face looked lax and lifeless, while the right side looked totally normal.

“Hoss, you get Doc out here as quick as you can.”  Ben stared into Hoss’ crystal blue eyes and could see the fear in them.

“What is it, Pa?  What is wrong with him?”  Hoss insisted on an answer before he would move.

“I’m not sure.  Go get Doc.”  Ben replied and cast a glance at Adam, who he could tell had already made his own diagnosis.

“I’ll be back quick as I can.”  Hoss said and hurried out of the room.

Adam neared his father and youngest brother.  He put his hand on Ben’s right shoulder for the comfort he knew he needed at the moment.  They both stared down at Joe, neither of them wanted to say what they thought.

“He’s too young—it can’t be.”  Adam whispered trying to dispel the haunting thoughts creeping into his head.  Ben turned and Adam caught the glimmer of tears in his father’s eyes.

He knew what his father was thinking, and deep down inside he also knew that he was right.

It had been a wild fast ride back from Virginia City with Doctor Paul Martin holding his breath as Hoss Cartwright steered the team of horses back to the Ponderosa.  Rather shakily the doctor stepped out of the carriage and made his way into the ranch house accompanied by Hoss.  Doctor Martin had no idea as to the extent of Joe Cartwright’s injuries.  He had only been told that something was terribly wrong with the boy.

Entering Joe’s bedroom the two men made their way over to the bed.  Ben stood from the chair and made room for the doctor.  Paul started by checking Joe’s pulse and then examining his pupils for reaction to light.  The right eye seemed fine and to be focusing, but the left eye seemed slower to respond.

“Joe, can you hear me?”  The doctor asked.  Joe could do no more than make some guttural sounds and slightly nod his head.  The doctor took out a small pin and poked different areas on Joe’s left side.  He started with the bottom of his foot and then moved upward.  Paul frowned, as he saw no reaction to his sharp pokes.  Reaching Joe’s left arm, he found that also to be unresponsive to touch.

The doctor touched the left side of Joe’s face and noticed how it drooped down in comparison to the right side.  He then noticed the fear that took over in the patient’s good eye and saw the young man reach out with his right arm for his father.  Ben grabbed his son’s hand and could feel the vise-like grip it had.  Joe was trying to send a message to his father.  A message Ben already knew.  Joe was frightened.

“It’s going to be okay, Joseph.”  Ben whispered and looked up into Paul’s eyes.  The doctor sighed and shot back a very worried glance.

“Ben, I need to talk to you downstairs.”  Paul said and closed his medical bag.  He had chosen not to talk about Joe’s condition in front of the frightened young man.  Joe didn’t need to hear it just yet, he reasoned.

Ben made the move to release his hand from his son’s grip but Joe refused to let go and hung on desperately.

“Joe—I will be right back.  Just let go a second, okay?”  Ben asked trying to remain calm.

Joe tried to utter something but no one could understand what he was trying to say.  Finally, Ben turned toward Hoss for help.

“Hoss take over for me awhile will you?”  Ben’s eyes were now pleading.  As much as he hated to let go of Joe, he knew he had to speak with the doctor.

“Hey, there, Short Shanks, you want to try wrestling me instead?”  Hoss smiled and carefully pried Joe’s fingers loose freeing his father’s hand.  Hoss grabbed up his little brother’s hand in his own and watched as the doctor followed both Ben and Adam out of the room.

Where are they going? Pa needs to stay here with me, I’m scared.  Big Brother, I know you are trying to help me but I need Pa this time.  I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.  I can’t feel the whole left side of my body.  I can’t talk, nothing is coming out like I want to say.  God, they all look scared too!  I saw the way the doctor looked at Pa—he has bad news to tell him and they wanted to say it somewhere that I can’t hear it.  Hoss, go get Pa—bring him back in here—I need him to tell me I’m gonna be okay. Joe stared at his brother wishing he could tell him verbally what was going on in his mind.

Hoss tried to put up a good front to look unconcerned, but he was failing miserably.  His bright blue eyes had clouds in them.

He was scared stiff for his younger brother and it showed.  Hoss continued to hold Joe’s hand and talk soothingly to the boy.  All the while, he wished he were downstairs finding out what was going on.

 

“A stroke?”  Ben’s voice shook as he asked the question for the second time.  “He’s too young—it can’t be!  Maybe he’s been poisoned—or bit by something.  Both of those could cause paralysis, right?”

“Sit down, Ben.  We have to talk rationally now.  I need some facts.  What has Joe been doing lately?” The doctor sat opposite from Adam and Ben on the settee.

“He’s been driving the herd to the south shore pasture.  Just got back yesterday.”

“Did he take a fall—or have something else happen while he was out there?”

“I don’t think so.  He didn’t mention anything.”  Ben thought again of the previous evening and was just about to remark about the incident with Joe’s leg when Adam chimed in.

“Last night—when he was getting ready to turn in.  He stopped right here and sat on the arm of the couch and said that his leg had gone numb on him.  He said it was okay a few minutes later, but he sure held onto the banister going upstairs.”

At that moment there was a knock on the door and Adam walked over to answer it.  Before him stood Renny Miller.

“Renny—” Adam started.  “I am afraid you caught us at a bad time.”

“I heard.  I was in town when Hoss went to get Doc.  I needed to talk to you all.”  He insisted and Adam led him into the living room.

“What is it?”  Ben stood as Renny approached them all.

“When I heard there was something wrong with Joe, it reminded me about some things that happened out on the trail.  Thought you all might want to know about them.”

“Yes, that would help us out greatly.”  Doctor Martin nodded toward the young man.

Renny sat down in the chair next to the doctor and began.

“Well, Joe was pushing us all real hard to beat that ten day deadline.  He wanted to bring the herd to the south shore in seven days.  Guess he was trying to prove something to you all, I don’t know why.  Anyway, you’d just have had to have seen how he was.  He worked to the point of exhaustion.  By the end of the day when the rest of us were sleeping, Joe was still up and sat worrying about whether he would accomplish what he wanted to do.

Then we lost one of the men to a broke leg and another man Joe kicked off the drive due to drinking.  It was one thing after another the whole time.  I saw Joe lift a steer out of a bog with his bare hands.  Something that even his brother Hoss would have had to strain to do as big as it was.  I started noticing that Joe looked real shaky like—and he kinda looked sick or something.

Whenever I would ask him about it he would shrug it off.

The last night on the trail he said his arm went numb.  His left arm.  But he said that he probably laid on it funny.  Things just didn’t seem right though.  But, I figured he’d be okay once he got back home.  When I heard Hoss getting the Doc out here for Joe I got worried.  What is wrong with him, Doc?”  Renny could not help feeling concerned about his friend and it showed as he asked the last question.

“He’s had a stroke.”  The doctor answered and then turned his attention back toward Ben.  “The boy just pushed himself too hard is all I can figure.  His body just couldn’t handle the strain of it.  Yes, it is very unusual for someone Joe’s age to be stricken like this.  But, it does happen, Ben.  I saw no indication of signs of poisoning.  Renny, did he get bitten by a snake or anything?”

“No, Doc, never mentioned anything.  And I was with him just about the whole time.”

“I didn’t think so, but I had to ask.”  Paul sighed and watched how the room filled with a sudden gloom from each member of the family and also Joe’s friend.

“What’s gonna happen now?”  Adam was the first one to ask.

“Well, it all just depends.  Some stroke victims never recover and some get partial usage back.  Then, there are some that get back full usage of their affected areas.  It will take a lot of therapy and it will be very slow going I’m afraid.  But, I have seen that kid upstairs beat everything he has ever had thrown at him.  I’m counting on his stubbornest to beat this.”  The doctor tried to sound optimistic, and yet not offering any false hope.

“What do we tell Joseph?”  Ben choked out, he was trying to fight back his tears.  He knew all too well how the boy would take the bad news.

“You tell him the truth, Ben.  He probably is up there thinking it already.  Joe is a smart young man.  You can’t keep this from him.  Would you like me to tell him?”

Ben stood and looked over at Adam and also Renny.  “No, I will talk with him.”  He nodded wanting to be the one to help Joe with the fears this would bring out in him.

“I am going to write up a strict menu for Hop Sing to fix Joe.  We have to use only soft foods for a while.  He may have some difficulty in swallowing.  We need to encourage him to try to talk, but, it may be hard for you all to understand what he is saying for a while.  Just be patient with him.  We will wait a couple of days and then start with some therapy.”  The doctor stood and reached over and patted Ben on the back affectionately.  “Remember what I told you, Ben.  Joe has come through a whole lot of ailments, which would have killed off anyone else.  Keep that in mind.”  Paul walked toward the door followed by Renny.

“Thanks for coming out so quick, Paul.  And thanks, Renny for what you told us.”  Ben called over to them both.  Renny nodded over to the worried family.

“You tell Joe I am betting on him too.”  Renny said and left the house.

“I’ll be back this evening, Ben.  I’ll bring that menu plan and speak to Joe about all that we want to accomplish with his therapy.”

“Thanks, Doc.”  Ben tried to smile but didn’t have it in him.

 

Ben sank down on the settee next to Adam and dropped his head down into his hands.

“C’mon, Pa.  Doc is right.  If anyone could beat this it’s that ornery cuss laying upstairs.  The kid just craves a challenge.  You know that!”  Adam tried to comfort his father with his words and with his arm around the other man’s shoulder.

“If he hadn’t pushed himself so hard to prove himself to all of us, this may never had happened.”  Ben whispered, his tone full of deep regret.

“You saw his face when he walked in here last night.  He was happier than I’ve seen him in ages.  It’s something that Joe himself wanted to do.  We didn’t force it on him.  Besides, maybe he was trying to prove himself to someone other than us.”

“Who?”  Ben looked into Adam’s dark eyes bewildered by his statement.

“To himself, Pa.”  Adam smiled and saw his father nod his head in agreement.  No matter what the reason for Joe’s stroke, it had happened and now they had to all do their best to cope with it.

“I’ve gotta go tell him, Adam.  This isn’t going to be easy.”  Ben stated and stood.

“He’ll handle it, Pa.  Don’t worry.”  Adam replied and watched as his father slowly ascended the stairs.  He could see in the older man’s countenance the pure dread he was feeling.

Ben paused before walking into his youngest son’s bedroom.  He tried to summon up what strength of spirit he had in order to tell Joe the bad news.  He knew Joseph better than Joseph knew himself.  Ben knew how he’d take it.

“Well, Hoss.”  Ben started trying to sound uplifting.  “I believe I’ll take that hand from you now.”  Ben moved to take Hoss’ place from the bed and took Joe’s hand into his own.  “I think Adam wants to see you for a moment, Son.”  Ben stared into Hoss’ eyes and the big man knew that his father was giving him a sign that he needed to speak with Joe privately.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, Little Brother.”  Hoss patted the boy’s arm and left the room.

Ben could already see Joe’s eyes questioning him as he started to reveal what was going on with his condition.

“Joseph, first I’d like to tell you that I think this is a very strange way for you to get some time off from work.  “ Ben tried to smile as best he could but saw the fear burning in his son’s eyes.  “I know this is very frightening.  It would be for anyone.  But, you are going to recover.”

Joe tried to mouth the words but only part of his face could be controlled and his voice would not come.  Ben could tell what he was trying to say.  He wanted to know what was wrong with him.

“Joe, you’ve had a stroke.”  Ben remarked trying to let the word come out less deadly than it sounded.  “But, you can recover from it.  The Doc said in some cases patients get full usage after some therapy.”  Ben could feel Joe’s hand going lax and he pulled away from his father.  He brought his right hand up to his face and covered his eyes.  The tears that fell only came from his right eye now.  Ben moved to sit next to the boy on the bed and carefully pulled him close to him.

“It is going to be all right, Joseph.  You just pushed yourself too hard this past week it was just too much for your body.”  Ben whispered as he felt Joe’s tears fall on his neck.  There were only muffled sounds coming from the boy’s throat.  His father knew how badly Joe wanted to talk to him; he could feel it in the way Joe clung to him with his right arm.

“You are going to be able to speak, Son.  You just need some therapy for awhile.”  Ben reassured as he helped lay him back down on the bed.

Pa—how could this be happening to me?  I can’t have a stroke—I am too healthy for that.  Old people get strokes.  You say I will be able to talk and walk again?  How?  I don’t feel anything on the whole left side of my body?  What’s gonna change that?  Or is it that you don’t really want me to know what’s going on.  Are you trying to protect me—or are you telling me the truth?  I want to ask you, Pa.

“Can you try to talk, Joe?  Even if it’s only a grunt, it would be a start. Try for me will you?”  Ben encouraged the boy and saw how he fought to try.  After a few minutes a dull moan came from deep within Joe’s throat and Ben patted his shoulder as if it was a great accomplishment.

“That’s good, Joe!”  Ben said exuberantly.  “You might not know it now, but it means that there is a good chance that you will soon be able to speak.”

Joe closed his eyes again, and Ben’s heart just about broke as he watched a solitary tear fall from the boy’s right eye.  Ben reached for Joe’s hand again and held it tight.  He watched as Joe finally fell off to sleep.

Later that evening all three Cartwrights sat with Doctor Martin in the living room discussing Joe’s condition. Hop Sing had been sitting for hours with Joe and was still at his bedside waiting for him to awaken.

“You should think about having Joe admitted to a hospital where he could get some therapy, Ben.”  The doctor started.

“There are four people here to do just that, Paul.  The boys and I have already talked this over this afternoon.  We are prepared to do whatever it takes in order to help Joseph.  All we need from you is step by step instructions on what to do with his therapy.”  Ben was determined to take care of his son, as were Hoss and Adam.  Ben couldn’t stop the memories that were now haunting him of another time when Joe had been placed in a hospital in San Francisco.  There had been four months of waiting for him to recover that time without a single visit to see Joe.  That separation was unbearable for the whole family and Ben knew he’d never let it happen again.

“If you insist.”  Paul looked at the determined faces of all those around him and sighed in defeat.  He knew how grueling Joe’s therapy and recovery would be and worried about the toll it would take on the entire family.  But, Paul had seen all of this before, and it did not come as a surprise.  The Cartwrights would close rank and plow head on during a crisis; especially if it concerned Joe.

“What do we do first, Doc?”  Hoss broke in.

“Well, we’ve got to get some food in him.  I brought some glass straws for his liquids.  It will help him right now as he may not be able to swallow easily.  Then we will write up a regular routine and it is important to follow it daily.  We will work on exercising his left side, his arm and his leg.  Then we will work on his facial muscles and also his speech.  It may cause a lot of frustration in the boy, it will be very slow going.  It will take all the will power he has to over come this.”

“He will.”  Adam nodded his head.  “How many times have we sat in this living room and discussed our worry over an injury or illness Joe had?  The kid is a medical marvel isn’t he, Doc?”

Paul laughed at the thought.  “I must admit that Joseph had been a steady customer since before he even learned to walk.  He should be in the medical journal by now.  I have even spoken to my colleagues about his endurance.  And here we are again, up against all odds but knowing that stubborn cuss will recover no matter what.”

“He’s stubborn.  And yes, what you have said is true in the past.  I just worry about his fears right now.  I saw desperation in those green eyes earlier today.  I know he thinks that this is a permanent thing.  We have to get through to him that it isn’t” Ben responded wearily.

“I am about to do that right now, Ben.”  The doctor stood from his chair and headed up the stairs followed by the family members.

 

Entering Joe’s bedroom the doctor shot a glance at both his patient as well as Hop Sing.

“Little Joe sleep hard.”  Hop Sing whispered as they all approached the bed.  The doctor once again checked the boy’s pulse and then gently shook his right shoulder and called out his name.  Joe slowly blinked, first his right eye and then his left eye opened.  He tried again to speak but could not, and then the fear was back on his face when he realized what had happened.

“Joe, I want to talk to you about some things.  I know your Pa told you that you have had a stroke.  Now I want to talk to you about it. It is rare for someone your age to suffer from a stroke but it does happen.  Usually the warning signs are sudden paralysis.  From what your family had told me and what Renny said when he stopped by you did experience this sign.  First it was your left arm at the trail camp and later your left leg when you returned home.  That was how I knew it wasn’t from a snakebite or anything like that.  That would have been almost instantaneous.  So, now that we know what has happened, we will start some therapy to bring you back.  I can’t promise you that you will heal totally.  A lot of that is up to you.  If you push yourself as hard to get better as you did to get that herd to south shore, I bet you will beat this.” Joe stirred in bed, his right side of his body trying hard to pull on his incapacitated side.  They all saw the fear and also the determination that the boy wore.  Doctor Martin signaled for Ben to help him, and the two of them pulled Joe higher up in the bed, propping the pillows behind him so that he was no longer flat on his back feeling so helpless.

“I tell you what, Joe—how about we start with some easy way for you to respond right now. Use your right pointer finger to signal yes and your middle finger along with it to signify no.”

Paul started to work on a way to make Joe feel a little more comfortable with his inability to speak.  “You understand?”

Joe held up his right pointer finger and looked around the room to see if they understood.

“Very good, later we will get you talking, but for right now you will have some say-so by signaling to us.  Now, we have to get some liquids down you.  You need to take this slow.”  Paul held up a glass of water with a straw in it.  Joe reached for the glass with his right hand, determined to have what little control he could manage. He drew in a large amount of water through the straw and handed back the glass as he started to choke.

Doctor Martin quickly moved to get behind Joe and patted his back fiercely as Joe struggled for air.  When that didn’t work he pulled Joe’s arm over his head in hopes of it causing a reflex action.  Joe abruptly started to breathe again.  The three oldest Cartwrights stood at the end of the bed.  They all had the same look on their faces.  They were petrified.

“It’s okay now, Joe.”  Paul said soothingly.  “You just have to go a little slower for awhile.  Your muscles in your throat are a little lax due to the stroke.  You will build them back up soon, so don’t worry.  Do you understand?”

Joe held up his right index finger and glanced around at his family.  At that particular moment he was much more concerned with their reaction to his choking incident.

“Ready to try again?”

Joe held up his finger again and this time let the doctor hold the glass as he took a slow precarious sip.  This time the water went down better, and everyone in the room breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“That was good, Joe.  Real good.  Now let’s just take all of this one step at a time, okay?  This is only day one.  I told you it’s going to take awhile so just stay focused on the end result and not how long your recovery may take.”  Paul patted Joe on the shoulder and then stood to leave.  “I’ll be back tomorrow, Joe.  Ben—how about walking me down?”  Paul gave Ben a look, which again read that he wanted to speak with him alone.  Ben watched as Hoss and Adam pulled up chairs to sit with Joe.  He then followed Paul out of the room.

In the living room, the two men sat and talked.  Ben still wore a very uneasy look, and it worried his friend.

“Ben, you have to remain as calm as possible for Joe’s sake.”  Paul started.

“I know that—but just a few minutes ago I was afraid he was choking to death.”

“We have to watch him when he drinks to make sure it won’t happen again.  He will eventually regain the swallowing reflex—but it will take time and you all have to be patient.”

“What else can happen?  You need to tell me so I will be prepared.”  Ben countered.

“I know how much you will all fuss about with him so I don’t think we have to worry about either pneumonia or bedsores.  As long as you are continually moving him that shouldn’t happen.  None of you are trained in any of this long-term care, but I will provide you with all the information you need.  Remember, it’s not too late to see about getting Joe into a hospital.”

“We can do more for him here, and I am sure he would rather be with those who love him than with a bunch of strangers.” Ben argued his case again.

“Well, I will agree that Joe would be happier having you all around him.  But, that doesn’t mean that he won’t have his mood swings.  You know what an active young man he has always been.  This kind of prolonged therapy will no doubt take its toll on him.  You just have to keep up the encouragement.”

“We all will.  Now I am concerned over what to feed him.  If he is having this much trouble swallowing water—what can we do?’

“I think just broth and water for awhile would be best.  Once he has mastered swallowing, we will use very soft foods.  It’ll be a long while before we can start solid foods, so there may be some weight loss.  He’s been through an awful lot today, just get him to drink some more water today and tomorrow morning have Hop Sing fix some beef broth for him.  Make sure he cools it down enough.  I will be back in the morning and I will go over some therapy with you and Adam and Hoss.  Looks like you could use some rest, Ben.  I hope you weren’t planning to stay up all night.”

“I’m going to put a cot in Joe’s room.  That way if he wakes up I can hear him.  The boys and I have all talked about this.  We are going to alternate nights.  But, tonight I need to be with him, not just for his sake but for my own.”

“How did I know you were going to say that?”  Paul laughed.  He knew how deep the bond was between Ben and all of his sons.  But, there was always something just a little bit special about Joe.  Maybe it was the fact that the boy had come up against so many other life-threatening injuries that would have killed anyone with less of a will to live.  “You get some sleep.  Send for me anytime you need me.  I will see you tomorrow.”  Paul opened the door.

“Thanks, Paul.  You have pulled Joe back from death’s door so many times, having you here is very reassuring.”  Ben said and shook the doctor’s hand.

“He’s some kid!”  Paul winked showing his fondness toward the boy.  “Goodnight.”

Ben closed the front door and then saw Hop Sing come out from the dining room.

“Little Joe—he be okay—right Mr. Ben?”

Ben draped his arm around Hop Sing’s shoulder for comfort.  “He’s not going to leave us—you know that.  Joseph is one hell of a fighter.  Always has been, always will be.  But, this is going to take a long while and we are going to have to try and keep up his spirits.”

“What I do for Little Joe now?”  Hop Sing asked eagerly.

“You get a good night’s sleep.  We will have plenty to do for Joseph in the morning.  I’m going to spend the night in his room.  I’ll come and get you in the morning and maybe you can help get him cleaned up a bit.  You have always been able to do more with him than any of us at times.  I’m hoping that is the case this time.”

“Hop Sing help. You see.”  Hop Sing smiled and hurried off into the kitchen.

Ben peered in through Joe’s doorway and saw a sight that eased his heart.  There was Adam at one side of the bed holding Joe’s good arm, and Hoss at the other side massaging his other arm.  Hoss looked as though he was struggling to massage the life into the useless limb and his eyes were fighting back tears as he continued.  Adam was trying to tease Joe into an arm wrestling match, but Joe seemed too weak to participate.

“Well, guess it’s about time to turn in.  Adam will you get me a cot out of the supply room?” Ben asked as he sat down on the bed next to Joe.

“Sure, Pa.”  Adam said standing up.  He looked over at Hoss. ”C’mon, Hoss, let’s go get what Pa will need in here.  I’ll get the bed, you go get some blankets and pillows.  Hoss stood and patted Joe’s arm and turned out of the room with his oldest brother.

When they were alone, Ben reached up and gently stroked Joe’s cheek.  He had detected a tear as it left Joe’s right eye, and knew the boy had been trying his best to hold back while his brothers were present.

“You’ve had a tough day, Joseph.  I know you must be thinking all kinds of things by now.  Are you scared?”  Ben asked softly.

Joe held up two fingers in response.  Ben reached down and bent Joe’s middle finger back down, leaving only his index finger pointing now.  “I am sure you meant “yes” didn’t you?”  Ben tried to smile in spite of all that was ahead for them.  Joe pushed out the second finger again.

“Well, if you aren’t scared, that makes you a minority around here—because the rest of us are.  As hard as it is for you to lay there, it’s equally hard to see you like this.  We all love you so, Joseph.  We are going to be with you each and every step of the way.  You will get better, I promise you.”

Oh yeah—I am terrified, Pa!  I have never been so afraid in my life, I sure hope you all don’t leave me—I can’t even call out for help!  A while ago when I was choking—I saw how you all looked at me—like I was gonna die or something—that scared me more than anything else.  I wish I could talk to you—it’s hard enough being unable to move—but not to be able to talk the way we always do—I can’t stand it.  I hope you know I love you—and that I am sorry that this happened.  I didn’t want to worry any of you—it was a stupid thing pushing the herd to get there early.  I just wanted you and Adam and Hoss to be proud of me.  Now look at all I’ve caused.

Joe’s thoughts rang through his head at a rapid rate, but he could do nothing else but let the ramblings stay where they were, unable to speak.

“Now—you want to tell me something—I can see it in your eyes.  I think I know what you want to tell me.  If I am right give me the sign, okay?”  Ben asked and Joe held up his index finger.

“You are feeling bad because this happened and you are worried about all of us.  Right?”

Joe held up the finger again and Ben smiled and continued.  “You want to talk things out with me—like we always have done, and you hate that you can’t talk. Right?”

Joe held his finger up again.  Ben was reading his mind, Joe thought at this point.  “You wanted us to be proud of what you accomplished by bringing in the herd early. Right?”

Again Joe held up his index finger.  “Well, Joseph, we already were proud of you before you even left to go out to the herd.  It’s just that stubborn streak that you have that pushes you so hard that prevents you from knowing that.  We love you very much—and we know that you love us too.”

Joe wiped away some of his tears with his right hand as he held his index finger up again.

“Okay—I think I did pretty well reading you this time.  But, now as I was originally saying—you are scared aren’t you?”  Ben continued to try to pry it out of his son, so that he would know that it was all right to be scared, and nothing to be ashamed of.

Joe reached to grab his father’s hand.  Ben took it in his own.  Joe then held up his index finger so that it touched the palm of Ben’s hand.  Ben looked into Joe’s face and saw the fear that now had been at last unmasked.

“Now that you admit it, Son, we can help you over it.”  Ben whispered as he pulled Joe closer to him.  He was careful not to be rough or to make Joe uncomfortable.  He just wanted Joe to know that his father’s strength would help pull him through until his own could take over.

 

Adam and Hoss busied themselves in making Ben’s bed up so that it would be right alongside of Joe’s.  Joe watched as they fussed over it knowing that he would never be allowed to be totally alone again.  He thought on what a meager future he now had.  It was as if he had awakened that morning in another person’s body.  A body that didn’t work.  The weight of his left side made Joe feel as though he was pinned to the bed.  It was a dead weight.  Joe thought of himself as being half alive and half dead.

Having finished with his father’s bed preparations, Adam looked over at Joe and could almost hear the thoughts as they passed through the boy’s troubled mind.  “This is not a permanent thing, Joe.  Once you are all better, you get your privacy back.  For right now, though, just tolerate all of us.”  Adam patted Joe’s shoulder.

It’s permanent—don’t lie, Big Brother—I’m not a little kid—I have heard about strokes.  Hell—Mr. Abrams the furniture dealer—he had a stroke.  I remember he was never right after that and spent all of his remaining days propped up in a wheelchair staring into nothingness.  Can you see me doing that?  Would you want me to live like that?

Joe’s thoughts begged to be shouted out to his brothers, but instead they continued to just resound in his head.

“Can I get you anything, Short Shanks?”  Hoss asked placing a comforting arm on Joe’s right shoulder.  Joe stared up at the pale blue eyes of his brother.  He could see that Hoss was uncomfortable with the whole situation but was trying his best to look sure of himself.

Yeah—how about a whole new body, Hoss?  You think you can do that?

Joe said to himself and then just lifted up his index and middle fingers for the answer to his brother’s question.  It was at that moment that Ben reappeared, now wearing his bed-clothes and his robe.

“Goodnight, Joe—Goodnight, Pa.”  Both Cartwright brothers said and left the room closing the door behind them.Ben turned down the lamp on Joe’s nightstand, still keeping a shaft open enough in case he had to get up and assist his son in some way.

“Do you want some water before you go to sleep, Joseph?”  He asked.

Joe held up his index finger to tell his father yes and Ben was quick to fill his water glass.  Ben reached down to pull Joe into more of a sitting position in hopes it would help his son to swallow better.  He held the glass and Joe’s right hand held onto the straw.  Ben bit at his bottom lip, the fear from the earlier choking experience weighed in his mind.  He tried to mask his concern with a patient smile.  Joe slowly started to drink.  By the third sip, he began to cough and panic took over his father.

Ben set the glass down quickly and then pulled Joe forward to pat his back.  Joe gasped and then stopped coughing.  Joe looked back up at his father and his heart sank to see that he was totally white in the face.  Joe hated to have put his father through another bad experience.

Ben read Joe’s thoughts and knew what was going on with the boy.  He had to do something before the fear controlled them both. “Well—you are starting to master swallowing—the doctor did say it would take awhile—so you and I both have to be patient.  Okay?”

Joe held out his index finger and Ben could not resist taking his hand into his own for strength.  “Now—let’s try this again—shall we?”  Ben asked bringing the glass back over.

Joe wished he could smile at his father at that moment.  He could tell Ben was terrified, but he was doing his “father” bit so well that it tickled him immensely.  Finally, in response to his father’s question Joe lifted his index finger again and accepted the straw.  This time Joe used every ounce of will-power to succeed in swallowing several short sips of water.  He then signaled Ben that he was through and his father let out a deep sigh.

“Let’s get you comfortable.”  Ben stated softly and set the glass on the night stand.  He walked around to the other side of the bed, remembering clearly how the doctor had mentioned moving Joe to prevent both pneumonia and bed sores.  He took the extra pillows that Hoss had brought in and started the careful task of turning Joe so that he rested mostly on his right side.

With the placement just right of the pillows, Ben was able to prevent Joe from falling back. Next, he had taken a smaller pillow and placed it between Joe’s bent knees.  Satisfied that Joe was well arranged, Ben walked back to the other side of the bed and sat down on his cot. “Is that all right?”  He asked and Joe answered with his index finger.  “I’m right here next to you, so if you need me you just —” Ben stopped before he had said the word “holler”.  He looked around and tried to find some way Joe could signal him.  He pushed the night stand closer to the bed.  “You just tap this glass if you wake up and need me, okay?”

Joe looked both at the glass and at the anxious sight of his father’s careworn face.  He wished he could just nod, but he was far too weak.  Surrendering to his limitations, Joe again pointed his finger.  Ben stood up and bent down and kissed Joe on the forehead.  As awful as it was to see his youngest son in the condition that he was in, he was thankful that the stroke had not killed the boy.  “Goodnight, Joseph.  I love you.”  Ben whispered and watched as Joe’s eyes slowly closed.

If Ben Cartwright woke up to check on his son one time, he had done it at least a dozen more.  Every time he started to doze off a haunting memory of Joe choking brought him back to reality.  By daybreak Ben had finally succumbed to exhaustion and had fallen into a deep sleep.  But, even dreams of Joe did not escape his thoughts.  Each dream was the same.  Joe was but a statue, unable to move, unable to talk.  And every time his father reached out to him, he disappeared.  The last dream was by far the worst one.  Ben dreamed that Joe was in a casket and they were closing the lid, hammering in the last nail.  But, Joe wasn’t dead.  He just couldn’t tell them that and had been buried alive.  That was it!  Ben awoke with a jolt so hard he gasped  out loud.  Becoming aware of his surroundings, Ben stared over at his sleeping son hoping that he hadn’t heard him.  Joe still slept.  So still, so unmoving, that Ben reached to feel his pulse.  It was there, strong and rhythmic.

As Ben stood from his cot and made his way over to the wash basin to try to freshen up before his son came around, Hop Sing came in the door.  “You no sleep good—you need rest—” Hop Sing whispered his protest staring at the worried father.

“I slept enough. “ Ben countered as he dried off his face.

“Breakfast ready for you —Mister Hoss and Mister Adam down stairs. They not sleep well either.  You eat, I stay and help clean Little Joe when he wakes.” Hop Sing was insistent.

Ben walked over to the bed just as a subtle sign from Joe alerted them that he was back with them.  Joe tapped on the water glass as his father approached.

“Did you sleep well, Son?”  Ben asked and let his right hand fall on the boy’s shoulder.  It was then that he realized it was his son’s numb side and the boy had not felt nor saw the comforting touch.  Ben moved closer and reached for Joe’s right hand.  Joe answered the question by showing again his index finger.  Even though he really hadn’t slept well, he didn’t feel that Ben should be worried more than he already was.  Joe, too, had awful dreams but did not have the luxury of calling out or gasping as his father had in response to his own nightmares.

“Hop Sing is going to get you all fixed up.  Then we will get you some broth.  I know you must be starved by now.”

Two fingers came up this time.  Joe wasn’t in the mood to think of food yet.

“Hop Sing—” Ben started as he turned to his friend and long time family member.  “Joe uses one finger to signal yes and two fingers to signal no.”  Ben explained and Hop Sing nodded.

“Now—you get cleaned up and I’ll be back soon.”  Ben forced a smile and turned to leave the room.

Hop Sing sat on the cot and looked at the young man that he had helped to raise.  He knew how the boy was, after tending him for so long.  Pride was a big issue and Hop Sing was determined to see to it that he didn’t embarrass Joe in any way.  “Hop Sing bring you wash basin.  Hand you cloth.  You wash what you can—I wash what ever else you need.  First—must move pillows to have you lie back.  You ready?”

Joe held up one finger as he gazed lovingly at his best friend.  They had done something very similar to this routine before.  So many injuries in the past, so many illnesses.  And, always there was Hop Sing to help him through it.  Hop Sing was gentle in all of his motions as he repositioned Joe onto his back.  He then propped more pillows behind him so that Joe could see better.

Next came the fresh basin of water, the soap and the towel.  Hop Sing helped Joe out of his nightshirt and then handed him the wash cloth that had been wrung out for him.  Joe slowly started to wash himself off, starting with his face.  It felt odd, as he knew he was washing his entire face, but only felt the right side as the cloth roughly brushed against it.Hop Sing kept the washcloth rinsed and ready. Joe attended all the areas where he wanted to in order to maintain some modesty.  Then he gave it up to Hop Sing to finish.  Hop Sing couldn’t help feeling sad that there was no life on that side of the boy’s body.  His heart broke for his Little Joe.  The boy who had grown into such a fine young man, so full of motion always.  So full of life.

Finally finishing with the bed bath, Hop Sing made sure Joe was dried off and then brought over another nightshirt.  Joe instantly held up two fingers in protest.

“You no want nightshirt?”  Hop Sing asked seeing the intensity in Joe’s eyes.  Again, Joe held up two fingers.  “What you want Hop Sing get?”

Joe frowned.  He figured that Hop Sing had forgotten that he couldn’t speak or he wouldn’t have asked that question.  Yes or no questions were hard enough.  Seeing the confused look that Joe now wore Hop Sing went over to the boy’s bureau and pulled out a pair of pants and some long johns.  One of the two was surely what he wanted.  He walked back and held them in front of Joe.  “Show Hop Sing.”  Joe pointed at the long johns.  He had his own reasons.  Joe knew that there had been a mention of starting therapy and he was not about to let someone lift his leg with nothing but a nightshirt on.  Long johns would at least afford some privacy.  Hop Sing nodded at Joe’s choice and walked back to also retrieve a thermal shirt.  Hop Sing also was aware of the risk the boy had toward getting pneumonia.

Once dressed, Hop Sing brought over Joe’s hair brush.  Joe took it into his right hand and attempted to brush his unruly mass of curls.  He pointed over to the bureau and held up his hand to his face to try to gesture that he wanted his hand mirror.  Hop Sing understood the signal and brought over the mirror.  It would later prove to be a big mistake.

Joe held up the mirror with his right hand.  One look at his face knocked the breath out of him.  The left side of the once handsome face was now contorted.  The eye drooped and all the muscles on that side were lax.  It made him seem distorted and in a way, Joe saw a grotesque person looking back.  Where strength was gone, there still was the famous Joe Cartwright anger left.  Joe flung the mirror out of his hand sending it crashing onto the floor.  Hop Sing stood in the middle of the room stunned and hurt by what had happened.  He had no idea that Joe would respond in that way or never would have handed the boy the mirror.

Ben had heard the sound from upstairs and his heart stopped.  So sure that Joe had fallen, he took the stairs two at a time and within two minutes was in Joe’s bedroom staring down at the mirror and then at his son.  Joe held his face in his right hand, blocking all view from everyone.

“Not mean Joe to be hurt—he want mirror—Hop Sing vely sorry.”

Ben led Hop Sing out into the hall to talk with him. “It’s not your fault—I don’t want you to feel bad about this you understand?  Joe hadn’t gotten a look at himself since the stroke.  It was bound to happen.  Now, you go on downstairs and sit with Adam and Hoss.  I will speak with Joseph and then you can come up with his breakfast.  Okay?”  Ben asked patting the cook’s shoulder trying to make him feel better.

“Hop Sing vely sorry.  You talk to Little Joe—you tell him.”

“I will.”  Ben nodded and turned back into the room.  Reaching Joe’s bed Ben sat down stiffly next to him.  Joe still had his hand covering his face.  Ben reached out and with a little bit of difficulty, managed to move the hand down, keeping it locked inside his grip.

“Now, you know what we talked about yesterday, Joseph.  One day at a time, stay focused on what we have to accomplish.  Your therapy will eventually tighten those facial muscles and you will regain your devilishly handsome face.  I know it was a shock to you, but it’s not as bad as you think it is.”

Joe pressed his index finger into Ben’s palm to argue the point.  Ben finally released his grip and Joe pointed toward his left eye.

“Your eye?  Does it hurt?”  Ben tried to figure out the meaning Joe was trying to convey.

Out shot two fingers and he again pointed at his left eye.  Joe was getting very discouraged and would have quit altogether if his father hadn’t persisted.

“Can you see out of it, Son?”  Ben continued on.

Joe held his index finger and his thumb and made a sign, which would mean “a little bit”.

“Oh—I see you are worried that you won’t regain your sight either!  Is that it?”

Joe held out his index finger again, as a tear shot out of his right eye.  Ben patted Joe’s right arm and shook his head to try and figure out how to handle this one.

“Doc can probably tell you this a whole lot better than I can.  But, I’ll give it a shot to settle you down.  The nerves in your face are numb from the stroke, those nerves go all the way up to your eye.  Now, he says you have a great chance of getting all this back, considering your age, your health, and your stubbornness!  But, for awhile you will have to rely on the right side of your body—including that right eye.  All along we will be working on the left side and we will eventually get the usage back.  Joseph, this is the day after you had your stroke!  Do you realize it?  I would be lying to you if I told you all of this would be easy and fast.  It’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to be fast.  But, it will happen.  You have to be patient and pull from your inner self.  I know how you pride yourself on your looks.” Ben stopped and ruffled his hand through Joe’s hair and grinned.  “Maybe because you know you are the handsomest Cartwright on this ranch!  But, the most important thing now is your health.  Good looks are going to have to take a second place to that.”

Ben now stood and reached down to pick up the pieces of the hand mirror.  “The last thing you need right now, Young Man, is seven more years of bad luck.  Now stop with the temper tantrums.”  Ben paused and lifted the hair brush, which had also found its way across the room on the floor.  He walked back to Joe and held it up.  “Don’t forget that this brush has been used for other things before.  Now stop throwing things, okay?”  With the last remark Ben almost caught a glimpse of humor as it danced in Joe’s good eye.

Joe held up his index finger and settled down.  Ben walked to the bedroom door and then called back over to his son.  “Hop Sing is going to come up now with your breakfast—do me a favor—don’t scare him again?”

Joe held up his finger again, wishing that he could say what he wanted instead of just yes and no.  He watched as his father left the room, leaving him all alone for the first time since he had awakened the previous morning.  Joe prayed that Hop Sing would hurry.  The thought of being totally alone scared Joe beyond anything he had known.

Ben looked around the dining table at the glum faces that both Adam and Hoss wore.  He knew they had a restless night and the thought of how long the aftermath of Joe’s stroke would last worried each family member.

“How is he today, Pa?  And what was all that noise about?”  Adam asked as he reached for the pot of coffee to try and jolt him into being more alert.

“Hop Sing gave Joe his hand mirror.”  Ben stopped and saw his sons look at each other.

“No need to say more, Pa.” Hoss interjected. The big man had wondered what his little brother would think once he had seen how the stroke had affected his face.  Now he had his answer.

“Well, at least we know that under all that the stroke has done to his body there still lies the true essence of Joe.  Pride and all.  Bad temper and all.”  Adam replied and saw his father nod his way.

“It’s that pride, perhaps along with that fierce temper that may pull Joe out of all of this.”  Ben remarked as Hop Sing entered the room with Joe’s breakfast.  He had taken the time to cook the beef broth perfectly and cooled it so that the boy would be able to sip it through a straw.

Ben reached over and touched Hop Sing’s arm, stopping his progression toward the stairs.  “Hop Sing, Joe has had some real trouble swallowing.  He had another choking experience last night.  Just make sure he goes easy with it, will you?”  Ben’s profound worry was apparent in his tone.

“I take care of Little Joe, know how to make him swallow.  You not worry.”  Hop Sing nodded and headed up to Joe’s room.  The eyes of the three men at the table watched as he ascended the stairs.  They all had the same thought.  That maybe they should go up with him.

“We’ll listen out, Pa.  Don’t worry.”  Adam said patting his father’s arm and then walking to the staircase followed by Hoss.  They would linger in the hallway outside of Joe’s room just in case.

Hop Sing pulled up the chair and set the glass of broth on the night stand.  He then pulled from under both of Joe’s arms so that he was higher up in the bed.  “You drink broth now.  You no worry, Hop Sing here.  I make sure you okay.  You trust Hop Sing?”

Joe reached out and grasped his friend’s hand in his own.  He tried to get the message across that he trusted him, and also was sorry for the way he had behaved earlier.  Hop Sing read Joe as he had throughout the years.  There was no need for verbal communication, Hop Sing felt it in his heart.  “No worry, Hop Sing not mad.  Now you try.”  Hop Sing sat on the bed and held the glass as Joe’s right hand sought out the straw.

Nervous, as in the past, Joe took a slow sip.  He could taste the broth as it fell across his tongue.  He let it trickle down his throat slowly.  Patiently Hop Sing sat there until the glass was entirely empty.  With a smile, Hop Sing stood triumphantly.  “Good boy.”  Hop Sing grinned and set down the cup.  “Now what Hop Sing do for you now?”

Joe just patted the bed next to him.  His eyes gave way to the notion that he needed his friend to sit awhile and not leave him.  Hop Sing sat back down and started humming a tune from Joe’s childhood.  One he had used in the past to calm a sick little boy and displace his worries.  As Joe’s eyes started to close, Hop Sing was pleased to see that it still worked.

 

Doctor Martin was punctual as usual. He arrived at the ranch house just as the Cartwrights were clearing away the breakfast dishes.

“Paul?”  Ben called as he opened the door.  “Can I get you some breakfast—or some coffee?”  Ben offered.

“No thanks, Ben.  Maybe later, I ate in town.  How’s Joe today?”

“Had some trouble swallowing last night, but it has been uneventful today.  Oh—other than a bit of a temper tantrum earlier!” Ben smiled at the thought.  “Joseph got a look at his face in the mirror and threw it and his brush across the room.”

Doctor Martin shook his head.  That was the kind of report he had expected to get.  After all, they were talking about a boy that the doctor had patched up for years and had fought battles with over staying in bed.  Now Joe was in a situation where he could not get up and sneak out, due to the stroke.  So, Paul imagined that the young man would resort to other tactics to let his opinions be known.  “Well, let’s go up and talk to him.

“Well, how is my favorite—and I may add—most frequent patient?”  Paul smiled as he approached the bed.  “I hear that you did very well this morning with your breakfast, Joe.  Once you have that swallowing down pat we can get you something that might stick to your ribs a little better.”

“Now, we are going to do some therapy.  You up for it, Joe?’

Joe signaled with his index finger and Paul patted him on his good arm.

“Joe, I need to feel your throat, so just relax the side that you can feel, okay?”

Joe closed his eyes and tried his best to relax under the palpitations of the doctor.  “Joe, try to make a sound.  Even if it is faint.”  Paul commanded.

Joe fought hard to bring up some air up through his larynx and a faint moan could be felt, even though they all had to strain their ears to hear it.

“He needs to practice each and every day.  “That’s all for now, Joe.  You need some rest.  I will speak with your family more and we will get our daily routine together to try and get you on the way back to being the perpetual motion machine that you have always been.”

“Let’s go downstairs to talk, shall we?”  Paul looked at the weary faces of the Cartwright family.  “We can send Hop Sing up here to watch Joe while we go over some things.”

“It sure wore him out.”  Hoss stated, more than worried about his brother’s lack of stamina.

“Hoss, your brother had a stroke yesterday.  We probably shouldn’t even start the therapy just yet, but I did it so it would perk up his spirits.  Give him time.”  Paul reassured and patted Hoss’ shoulder.

“You all have a ranch to run.  Remember you told me that you all would take turns.  That is what I expect you to do.  Keep up your daily routine as much as possible.  It will help prevent you from losing hope.  I do believe that you said you watched Joe last night, Ben.  Well, I expect you to turn over tonight’s duty to Adam or Hoss.”

“My turn tonight.”  Adam nodded and noticed that his father scowled.  If it were in his power he would sit with his youngest around the clock, forever if need be.

 

“I’m gonna go into town to get some things.  Then I’ll show you.”

“Joseph can’t write—if that is what you are thinking.  That right hand wouldn’t even allow him to scrawl his name.”  Ben replied.

“Heck—I can’t even read Joe’s writing with his good hand—let alone his right hand!”  Hoss remarked, trying to figure what his oldest brother had up his sleeve.

“Just let me see what I can do.  Doc?  How about I follow you back to town?”  Adam asked as he reached for his hat and coat.

“I’d be glad to have the company.”  Paul said and turned toward the door.  “I’ll be back tomorrow, Ben.  Goodbye, Hoss—Ben.”  Paul nodded to them and walked out of the door with Adam.

“Pa—you reckon what Adam is planning on doing?”  Hoss asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“I don’t know.  But, I am anxious to see.”  Ben smiled and then turned back toward the staircase.  Hoss was quick to stop his progress.

“Now, Pa—the Doc said we have to keep up our normal routine.  Weren’t you supposed to get the ledger book all straightened out?”

Ben coughed nervously, trying to come up with an excuse.  He decided to change the subject.  “It can keep—but weren’t you supposed to help Cleve clean out the tack room?”

Hoss grinned and patted his father’s arm.  “It can keep.”  He winked and they both walked up the stairs together.

Joe slept for a good part of the day.  It was almost dinner time when he awoke to find Adam sitting in the chair by his bed reading a book.  Joe could see out of his good eye that the title was about strokes.  He made a small frown appear from the right side of his lips.

“You back with us, huh?”  Adam smiled and set down his book.  “How about some water?”

Joe pointed with his index finger and Adam filled the glass and slid the straw down into it.  He then reached over and pulled Joe up a bit.  “Now this is my first try at it, so I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn’t choke on it.”  Adam made his statement in jest but it was what he had on his mind as Joe slowly sipped through the straw.  He paused several times to look into Adam’s eyes and saw a profound concern in their reflection.  “You done?”  Adam asked and Joe shot out one finger.  Adam set the glass back down and reached for a package on the floor.

“I went into town today to find something for you.  I was thinking of how I would feel if I couldn’t communicate my feelings, and realized how hard this must be for you.  And so—” Adam stopped and opened up the large package that was wrapped in plain brown paper.  He tore into it and then saw Joe’s eyes show bewilderment in them.  “This is what they call a felt board.  I remember when I was a kid in school using one.  I have rigged up a whole bunch of letters for you to put on the board so you can start talking to us.”  Adam pulled out a little case, which held numerous letters, also made out of felt material.  “Now, this is not to replace you trying to talk, Joe.  You have got to practice that every day.  But, until you start to speak again, I thought it might help.”

Joe reached out for both the board and the case of letters.  “Here—let me hold the board for you and you write what you want.”

Joe started to construct his first sentence.  Adam could see the eagerness in the boy’s eyes and it touched him that he had found something that might make his little brother more comfortable with the situation he was now in.

thanks Adam   want to talk truth I get better

“You will, no doubt about it.  I have seen you conquer everything that has ever been thrown at you.  But, this may prove to be the toughest yet.”  Adam replied.

you all mad at me?  I did this

“Joe, who really knows what caused it?  I was reading here in this book that all types of things can cause a stroke.  Maybe it would have happened anyway. None of that matters now.  It happened and we are going to help you through it.  And no we are not mad.  Even though you did show us up a bit.”  Adam teased.

how I get better  I don’t feel anything on my left side

“From what Doc said, and from what I have just read, therapy and time are the only way.  Doc explained it to you yesterday.  You suffered some kind of a lesion to your brain.  That knocked out the left side.  But, your right side is strong and you are young.  You have to concentrate and try to send messages to the other side of your body.  It will take some doing but I’ve always told you that you were head strong.  I’m counting on that.”

I be like Mr. Abrams

Adam sat stunned momentarily.  He now knew what Joe was thinking.  The one person that the boy had known to have a stroke never recovered and died only a few months later.  Adam knew that Joe was harboring those memories.  “Mr. Abrams had a stroke that knocked out parts of both sides if his body.  He was a whole lot older than you and in bad health to begin with.  You are young and strong.  You can’t compare the two of you.”

if I don’t get better

I’d rather die than to live like this forever

Joe turned to face Adam as he looked up from the board.

“Don’t even think that, Joe.  You need to think positive or none of the therapy will matter.”  Adam argued with Joe’s logic.

but if I don’t you wouldn’t want me to live like this would you

Adam stood up disgusted.  He turned his back on his brother and started to leave.  Then, he finally felt in his heart why Joe had angered him so much.  He had thought those very same things just the day before looking at the lifeless body of his baby brother.  Adam felt guilty for admitting to himself at the time that he would rather die than to be as Joe was.  He walked back over to the bed and looked down at Joe.  “No, Joe, I wouldn’t.  But, you aren’t going to stay like this.  Let’s not think of such things.  I am looking forward to the day when you are back up running around and driving me crazy—just like before.”

thanks for the board Adam

don’t tell pa what I just told you, k

“I won’t.  But, you had better decide to fight right here and now.  Because none of us are going to accept anything less than one hundred per cent from you.”

I’ll try

“I’m going to go get your dinner.  Be right back.”

broth

“Broth.”  Adam nodded and patted Joe’s arm before leaving the room.

Hoss carried up his brother’s dinner that night, wanting to spend some time with him before Adam came back in to spend the night.  He wore a big smile as he set Joe’s liquid meal on the nightstand.

Joe worked for a couple of minutes and then showed his brother.

I’m sick of broth and this bed

Hoss laughed and shook his head.  “Don’t need no board to have told me that, Joe.  You never liked being laid up.  I know this is hard on you, but you’ll get better.  I have no doubt.  Now how about drinking some of this broth so I don’t get into trouble with Pa or Hop Sing?”

Joe reached for the glass and maneuvered the straw up to his lips.  Patiently, Hoss waited until the glass was empty.  “Good job, Joe.  In a couple of days they are gonna fix you up some soft foods.  I tell you I couldn’t last a day on this stuff.  But, then you never had the hearty appetite I have.”  Hoss patted his stomach to display where all the food had ended up over the years.  Joe tried to smile, but only the corner of the right side of his mouth would cooperate.  He went back to his board to write more.

what’s been going on with the ranch and Cochise

“Oh, the herd is doing very well at South Shore.  We are finishing the last cuts of the season up at the logging camp.  We had some flurries outside a little while ago.  And Cochise?  Now you know very well that I have always taken care of your horse.  She’s not as fond of me as she is of you—but she knows old Hoss will take care of her till you are back in full force.”

Long time

“Just be patient, Joe.  We’re all with you on this, just remember that.”

tired sleep now

Joe wrote and then pushed the board to the side and fell off to sleep.

“Goodnight, Little Buddy.”  Hoss whispered and left the room.

“How did he do?”  Ben asked as Hoss made it down the staircase.  The big man walked over to stand next to his father.

“Drank all the broth.  Spelled out a couple of things then he drifted back off to sleep.”  Hoss announced sullenly.

“I know it’s hard, Hoss.”  Ben nodded and placed his arm around his son’s shoulder.  We are all so use to seeing the perpetual motion of your youngest brother around here, that seeing him like this is getting to all of us.  Adam is going to sit with him tonight.  Let me go and help get him ready and then you and I will play some checkers.”

“Okay, Pa.  Think I’ll go out and check on Cochise again and then I’ll come in and let you beat me just like Joe always does.”  Hoss attempted a faint smile, even though his heart wasn’t in it and then turned for the door.

 

Adam watched as his father went to great pains to have Joe positioned just right in the bed.  He could tell from the determination that the other man wore that he was not going to take the chance of his youngest son developing pneumonia from inactivity.  When he was done, Ben pulled the heavy quilt up to the boy’s shoulders and lightly kissed the exposed forehead.  It was a gesture he usually did in private, but this time, Ben didn’t care that he had a witness.

“He’ll be all right.  I’ll make sure of it.  You go and get some rest, Pa.  We don’t need to have you fall out too.”  Adam reassured and Ben sighed.  He really wasn’t happy about not being next to his son during the night, but knew he had to take turns with the other three care givers or he would be emotionally and physically spent.

“Goodnight, Son, call me if you need anything.”  Ben patted Adam on the back and then left the room.

Adam watched his brother for a good part of the night.  The faintly lit lamp gave him just enough light to see Joe’s facial features.  The difference in his brother was very easily noticed.  Joe was now on his right side so only the left side of his face was visible.  And that side looked drawn and lifeless.  It made Adam cringe at the idea that it may always be that way.  He tried to push those negative thoughts away as he reached over and pulled the blanket up to cover the now exposed left shoulder.  Adam closed his eyes and said a silent prayer for his little brother and then settled back on the cot.

 

And so began the long process of therapy and hoping to bring Joe back to the way he was before.  Days turned into weeks as each Cartwright individually and as a group, worked with Joe and tried to keep up his spirits.  There had been no change and the lack of progress had started wearing on each member of the family.  They longed for even the smallest response, a toe, a finger a word; but nothing came forth.

Joe had been able to tolerate a few soft foods, but often it had to almost be forced on him to get him to eat them.  He had stopped for the most part even writing on his board, a bad sign to them all that he was ready to quit.  Doctor Martin remained diligent in his instructions and encouragement, but even he retained a small amount of hopelessness as four weeks turned into a month with still no sign of healing.

“Now, Joseph, I am not playing here.  You need to eat or you won’t get better!”  Ben insisted as Joe’s hand again came up blocking the food that his father had offered him.

“Then tell me why!  You can at least do that.”  Ben handed Joe the felt board and Joe pushed it off the bed.  “Stop this nonsense.”  Ben’s voice was strained as he continued his battle with his son.  “You tell me right now, or I promise you I will sit on this bed all day and night until you do.”

Finally, Joe gave in and started to write out his reply.

not get better

I will never get better

I quit Stop pretending with me

you know it as well as I do

Ben read the board and put it back down next to the bed.  “Now who made you a doctor?  You heard Doctor Martin, he said it could happen anytime. Could be today, tomorrow, or next week.  So you have to eat to keep up your strength for when it does happen.”  Ben was calmer now as he fought to encourage Joe.  “Now will you please eat?  We wait any longer and these eggs are going to have to be reheated.”

Joe reached for the spoon, allowing his father to keep a hold of the bowl.  He ate, not because he believed he would get better, but because he believed his father would do as promised.  He knew that Ben would sit there all day as he had threatened.

When the bowl was empty Ben patted Joe’s hand affectionately.  “Good job.  Now Hop Sing is going to come up here and help you get cleaned up and then we are going to work on some more therapy.”  Ben stood and noticed how Joe just simply closed his eyes in response to what he had said. His heart ached at the sight, and because some of his own doubts were now being reflected in his youngest son.

Ben made an abstract excuse to his sons that he needed to check on something in town.  He didn’t want them to know what his primary motive was at the time.  Hoss and Adam met in Joe’s room after Hop Sing got him all cleaned up.  It was time for therapy, and Adam knew it was his turn but had requested Hoss join him.  He had witnessed his father’s face when he had left Joe’s room earlier and knew from the look that Joe was not in his best frame of mind.

“Okay, Joe.  Let’s get to it.”  Adam said and he and Hoss pulled Joe up against the pillows.  Joe showed no reaction.  The therapy now was just a futile waste of time in his opinion, but since he had no way of leaving the room he had to endure his brother’s attempts nonetheless.

Adam pulled Joe’s left leg up toward his chest and slowly lowered it several times.  He then worked for awhile on Joe’s hand and fingers.  He bent each finger back and forward trying to increase the circulation and to prevent them from curling up due to the lack of activity.  Adam had read every page of the book on stroke victims and worked diligently trying to exercise every muscle on the left side of Joe’s body.  After the upper arm and shoulder, Adam stopped and looked over to Hoss for help.  “Why don’t you do his vocal exercise, Hoss?”  Adam asked and stepped aside letting the big man sit down on the bed next to Joe.

Hoss gently put his fingers on his brother’s throat.  “Make a sound, Joe.”

Joe was not cooperating and simply turned his eyes away.  Hoss frowned at how difficult Joe was making the whole act.

“Now, no playing, Little Brother.  I got my hand on your throat—and that’s some powerful temptation right now.  You wouldn’t want me to throttle you, now would you?”  Hoss warned but then broke into a smile.  Joe reluctantly turned his eyes back onto Hoss’ face.  As angry as he was, Joe felt sorry for all of his family that they had to go through all of these useless motions daily.  Finally, there was a muffled response from the deep recesses of Joe’s vocal cords.  It was like a faint groan.

Hoss looked over at Adam.  It was the same intensity as it had been.  Still no improvement.  Hoss prayed for a word, even a lightly voiced sigh, but there was nothing.

“One more time, Joe.  This time pretend that you are mad and yell at all of us!”  Hoss directed.

Joe closed his eyes and they could tell that he was struggling.  He tried with all of his might, and still it was only a faint moan that was heard.

“I think that one was better.  Don’t you, Adam?”  Hoss asked and shot his oldest brother a pathetic look for support.

“Yeah, Hoss.  I think you are right.”  Adam nodded and then saw Joe point toward his felt board.  Adam brought it over to his brother and held out the box of letters. Joe steadily wrote out his statement.

you both just lied, I know it 

Nothing has changed. 

Believe me if I could yell

I would say every bad word I know and then some

Let me sleep now

Adam and Hoss read the board and then eased Joe onto his side to go back to sleep.  They left him in the room alone and walked down the stairs.  Hop Sing was quick to come over to them and he read their faces.  He didn’t have to ask them if there had been any progress.  Hop Sing headed up the stairs to sit with Joe.

“Adam, I got something to tell you.  It’s been eating my insides for days.  I can’t talk to Pa about it—-” Hoss started and Adam sat down and pointed for his brother to sit down across from him.

“I think I know what you are thinking, Hoss.  Go ahead and get it out.”

“I feel so ashamed.  I have been thinking some awful things lately.”  Hoss fumbled with his confession as his eyes grew misty.

“You were thinking that it would have been better if Joe had just never woken up that morning aren’t you?”  Adam came out with his question and Hoss seemed surprised to hear him say it so matter-of-factly.

“Yeah—-how did you know?”

“Hoss, you aren’t the only one who has thought that.  I bet you even Pa has thought that, he just would never tell us.  We see Joe day after day not getting any better, then we think how we would feel.  It’s like addressing our own mortality watching him this way.  None of us would want to be like he is.  And deep down we know Joe doesn’t want to live like this.  And yet we try—we try to encourage him on.”

“And what if he never gets better than he is right now?  Then what?  Pa will live out the rest of his life taking care of him.  Then it will be up to you and me.  And what about Joe?  He would hate us after awhile.”

“I think about it all the time.  I worry about what it is doing to Pa.  All we can do is pray that somehow Joe starts to show some signs of recovery.  To think past that right now will only hurt us all.  It has just been a month.  Let’s hold off all the gloom until we give it awhile longer.  But, Hoss, if you ever want to talk—well—you know—” Adam drifted off and reached over and touched Hoss’ shoulder.

“I know, Big Brother.  And that’s a two way street with me!  I’ve been thinking about doing something to help Joe’s spirits. How about when Pa gets back we see if we can bring Joe down here awhile.  He hasn’t been out of his room since this happened.”

“And then what?  I can see in your eyes you are hatching something.”  Adam smiled.

“Well—Joe just sits in that room all day.  Let’s fix it up so he can at least see out his window—give him some change.”

“Good idea.  We can surprise him with it. How about we all have supper here in the living room too?  He hasn’t been with us in too long.  It would cheer everyone up.”

Hoss grinned. “I don’t know about Joe, but it would sure make me feel better.”

“Okay, then.  We’ll do it.  Right now let’s get our chores done so we will have the rest of the day to see what we can do for Joe.”  Adam stood, as did Hoss.  They walked toward the door with renewed hope, their talk having eased their hearts.

 

Ben Cartwright removed his hat as he entered the church.  It was just after noon and he was glad to see Reverend Hastings coming toward him from the pulpit.  Throwing out his hand the Reverend greeted his long time friend.     “Ben!  So glad to see you.  Tell me, how is Joseph?”

“Actually that is why I’ve come to see you.  Could we sit down awhile?”  “Yes of course.”  The Reverend moved over to one of the pews and the two men sat down.  “You know I have been praying for Joe.  I have wanted to come out there, but when I spoke to the doctor he said Joe was refusing visitors.”

“Yes, he has some facial paralysis and he is embarrassed.  He has a lot of pride, that son of mine.”

“That’s not always a bad thing. Now what’s on your mind?”

“I am afraid that Joseph is at the point where he has lost all hope of getting better.  It has been a month now and there are no signs of improvement.”  Ben’s dark eyes reflected in them hopelessness of his own.

“Is it just Joseph who has given up hope?  Or have you as well?’  Reverend Hastings asked softly reading the man’s eyes.

Ben dropped his head down in despair. “I guess I have as well.  It’s so hard.  Day after day going in there.  Telling him to fight, encouraging him on.  Only to see that nothing on the left side of his body works or responds in any way.  Not a toe—not a finger—nothing.  And he can’t talk.  What I would give to hear him just say “pa” just once.”  Ben fought back his tears.

“Let me tell you something, Ben Cartwright.  You can’t stay strong all of the time.  You think you can, but you are human.  Dealing with someone who has suffered a stroke is a very grueling experience.  And when you don’t see any progress being made it is easy to assume there won’t be any.  This is no doubt bleeding over onto Joseph.  He’s a very intuitive young man.  If he detects a glimmer of defeat in your eyes he will quit.”

“What can I do then?”  Ben asked desperate for some guidance.

Resting his hand on Ben’s shoulder for comfort, the Reverend said, “You need to take a little time for yourself.  If you don’t you are hurting Joe, your other sons, and yourself.  At least once a week I want you to come into town.  And not for business.  You go and play cribbage with Roy or better yet come and take your favorite preacher out for lunch.  Whatever, as long as you get a break.  Then, when you go home you will be in better spirits and that will reflect in your relationship with your sons.”

Ben smiled at the wise words he had heard, and knew that they had been spoken out of friendship.  “You want to go get that lunch now?”

“How nice of you to ask.”  Reverend Hastings grinned and stood up.  “Let’s go.  Then we can go over to the jail and try to talk Roy into telling us one of his wild stories.”

“Sounds good.”  Ben nodded and the two men left the church. Ben made it home a little after five that afternoon.  Feeling in much better spirits, he was happy to be greeted by both Adam and Hoss.

 

“Did you get what you wanted in town?”  Hoss asked.

“Yes, I got what I needed.  Now, how are you two doing?  Are you okay?  Did Joe put you through a lot today?”

“Naw—he was fine.  But we do have something we want to talk to you about.”  Adam said and they all walked into the living room to discuss their plans for Joe.

An hour before dinner was ready Ben walked into Joe’s room to find him wide awake.  Nearing the bed he noticed Joe had tear tracks coming down his cheeks.  He obviously had wiped the tears away as he heard his father approaching the room.

“Let’s get your robe on, Son.”  Ben said and reached for it over by the chair.

Joe gave his father a questioning look.  Ben slowly slipped the robe around his son’s shoulders. “We are going downstairs.  You need a break from this room don’t you think?”

Joe shot out two fingers.  He didn’t really care where he was at the moment.  Ben paid no attention to Joe’s response and bent over the bed lifting Joe up into his arms.

“We have it all fixed up for you downstairs.”  Ben commented as they cleared the doorway and approached the stairs.  Ben carefully descended the long staircase carrying his youngest son over to the settee and gently setting him down.  He made sure to put Joe’s bad side up against the back of the settee to free his good side up.  Joe looked over at the blazing fire and then surveyed the room.  It was the first time he had seen it in over a month and he had to admit to himself that if felt good to get out of the bed in his room.  Ben stacked the pillows up behind his son so that he was more in a sitting position.

“That feel okay?”  Ben asked and Joe shot out one finger.  “Want me to get your board so we can talk?”  Joe managed a slight nod instead of using the sign language.  Ben turned to the staircase to retrieve the felt board when he saw Adam and Hoss ready to go up to do their remodeling.  Ben smiled and winked to them both to let them know that everything was going well so far.

A few moments later Ben made his way back down the stairs and carried over Joe’s means of communication.  He set the box of letters within reach on the coffee table and pulled his chair closer to the settee.  Joe carefully wrote out his sentence.

have something to show you 

you are not going to believe it

Ben read the board and then handed it back to Joe bewildered by the statement.  “What are you talking about, Joe?”

Joe reached for the board and wrote more.

when you went upstairs

I saw something

my left hand

Ben pulled Joe’s blanket down to get a full view of his left hand.  Joe moved, ever so slightly his left index finger.  Ben’s mouth dropped open and he stood up so fast that he knocked Joe’s board onto the floor.

“Joseph!”  He exclaimed and took Joe’s left hand into his own right one.  “Do it again!”  He insisted.  It took a little concentration but Joe was able to move it again. Ben hugged his son so tightly that he almost pushed him off of the settee.  “Adam!  Hoss!”  He yelled and the two men appeared at the top of the stairs.  “Come here!”  He called up to them and they hurried down the stairs, worried that something had happened to Joe.

“What is it?” Hoss asked out of breath.

Ben turned back toward Joe and smiled. “Come on.  Once more for your captive audience.”

“What’s he gonna do?”  Adam asked and Ben pointed toward Joe’s left hand.  The brothers then saw the twitch of the one finger and they both hollered out loudly.

“Yes!  We knew you could do it!”  Hoss burst out with laughter and hugged his brother.  Adam patted Joe on the shoulder.

“Okay—that’s step one, Joe.  Now I expect more help with that therapy tomorrow!”  He chided his little brother, though his heart was swelling in his chest, so proud of the boy’s small but monumental accomplishment.

“Hop Sing!”  Ben called into the kitchen and the cook appeared.  “Joe just moved his finger!”  Ben announced and the cook hurried over next to the boy.

“Hop Sing want to see.  You do it for Hop Sing now.”  He insisted and Joe obeyed his long time friend.  Hop Sing grinned ear to ear.

“Have vely special dinner now for all of you.  Be ready soon.”  He smiled and hurried back into the kitchen.

Joe closed his eyes feeling both emotional and also a little weak from all the activity.

“Well, if that’s the end of the show, we have more to do now.”  Adam said and grabbed Hoss’ arm and left to complete their project.

Ben sat back down next to Joe and patted his good arm.  “I know it seems like just a little thing right now, Joseph.  But, it is the beginning of you coming back.  I haven’t been this thrilled since I saw you take your first steps when you were a little tyke.”

Joe reached for the board and wrote again.

hope this is just the start Pa 

wish I could talk to you

Ben read the board again and responded.  “You will talk again, just as you will walk again and everything else you did before.  Now, don’t get discouraged if it isn’t fast, at least you know you are on your way.”

tired now

“You go on and close your eyes.  There’s time for a nap before dinner.”  Ben answered and lowered the board and pulled up the blanket.  Joe closed his eyes and he was soon sound asleep.

Dinner had been brought into the living room and set up so that all four of the Cartwrights could share the meal together.  Joe awoke to the sight of his family around him.  Hoss reached over and pulled Joe up higher on the settee and handed him his drink.

“We thought it would be nice to all have dinner together for a change.”  Ben smiled over at Joe who still had bewilderment on his face. “Need some help?”

Joe signaled with two fingers and then reached with his right hand over to the bowl that was set on the coffee table.  He drew it into his lap, a half-frown appearing at his mouth at the sight.  It was oatmeal, not the steak and potatoes he saw on the other members plates.  He slowly started to eat his food.

Hoss read his little brother’s face and thought on whether it had been a good idea to eat in front of him.  Joe caught the sight of Hoss’ expression and knew what the kind soul was thinking and why he had yet to carve into his steak.  Setting his bowl back on the table, Joe reached for the felt board and started writing.  When he finished he turned it around so Hoss could see.

wanna trade

Hoss laughed when he read it and patted his brother on the shoulder.  It was the first sign of humor that Joe had given them in weeks.  “Well, that oatmeal does look awfully good—but if I don’t eat my steak Hop Sing will yell at me.”  He replied and the others laughed.

“Joe, I thought I’d tell you it’s starting to snow outside now.”  Adam said between bites.  “I remember you always liked seeing the first real snowstorm.”

Ben shot Adam a cautious glance, worried how Joe would handle the fact that he couldn’t go outside as he would have under any other situation.  Joe loved to just stand and feel the flakes landing softly on his face.  Joe was always a big kid when it came to snow, they all knew that.  And it would be sad to think that this year he would have to be on the inside looking out.

Joe reached out again and wrote on his board.

take me out to see it

Adam read it and then looked to his father for help.  He now regretted even mentioning the snowfall.

“Joseph—not just yet.  We have to keep you from getting sick.  It would weaken your system, just when you are doing so well.”  Ben answered and saw frustration attacking Joe’s face.

I am pouting right now

Ben laughed at what Joe had written and looked around to the others.  They were no help.  He could tell they wanted to appease their brother to keep him in good spirits.  Ben stood and put his hands on his hips and shook his head.  “If you get sick—” Ben started and then gave up on the lecture.  Hoss walked over to the front door and grabbed his huge woolen coat and brought it back over to where Joe sat.

“This will keep him warm, Pa.  I’ll carry him out there for just a minute.”

“And exactly what were YOU planning on wearing, Hoss?  Or let me guess—you want to catch a cold as badly as Joe!”

“I have my other one right over there.  Plus I have my long-johns on.”  Hoss protested and grabbed his other coat and threw it on.  Adam walked over to the door and grabbed his and Ben’s coats.

“If we catch colds, at least we all will have them at the same time.”  Adam grinned and saw his father had caved in to his youngest son as was normal.  Ben pulled on his coat and watched as Hoss lifted his brother up into his arms.  Adam pulled open the door and all of the Cartwrights walked out to the porch.

It was hardly a bad snow fall at the time, but there were numerous fluffy white flurries drifting down.  Joe pointed to Hoss to take him out past the porch.

“Oh no you don’t!”  Ben interjected after seeing what Joe was now up to. Joe held his finger up in a plea toward his father.  Ben could tell what the boy wanted, just the feel of snowflakes on his face.  “Make it quick, Hoss.”  Ben sighed.

Hoss stepped down past the covering of the porch and walked into the front yard.  He stood there long enough to let Joe’s face get dotted by snow.  If Joe could have spoken he would have yelled in glee or let out a long string of laughter.  But, Hoss saw the joy reflected in his brother’s eyes and it touched his heart to see happiness there replacing the terrible sadness that his injury had caused.

“That’s it!”  Ben yelled and sent Hoss hurrying back.  “Let’s get him inside and over by the fireplace to warm up.”  Ben held the door for all the others to come back into the warmth of the living room.  Hoss carried his brother over to his father’s big blue chair that sat close to the blazing fire.  Carefully, he set the boy down and propped him with pillows to keep him from falling onto his bad side.  Joe pointed over to the board and Ben brought it over to him.

thanks, this has been a good day

first good day in a long time

The family read the words and they had to fight to control their emotions. It made them both happy and sad at what Joe had said.  They were happy to have given him some pleasure but were sad that it was such a little thing to do for him.

“Well, you haven’t seen everything yet, Joseph.”  Ben grinned and rubbed the boy’s neck to take off the chill from the snow.  “These two brothers of yours have been busy up in your room.  They kinda did some remodeling for you.  So, just as soon as we get you thawed out a little we will go and see what they did.”

Hoss carried Joe up to his room later that evening and could see the look in Joe’s green eyes.  He was amazed at how such a small gesture of moving the room around would have such an affect on the boy.  Hoss saw the eyes go glassy and appeared that Joe was ready to cry.  Hoss took Joe over to his bed, which now faced toward the window of his room.

Leaning back up against his pillows, Joe surveyed the room.  Everything was in a different place including his bureau, desk and chair.  The family could tell he was both pleased and exhausted from his big day. He reached toward his father to get his board and he wrote a final message for the evening.

thanks for doing all this brothers

They all read the board and then Adam said, “If you want to thank us, get something else moving soon.”  Adam patted his brother’s arm and turned out of the room satisfied with his day’s work.

“Goodnight there, Short Shanks, it was fun getting out in the snow with you.  Next year I challenge you to a real snowball fight.”  Hoss grinned and walked out of the room as well.

“Well, Young Man, you have had some day haven’t you?  Before you close those eyes how about showing me that finger again?”

Joe obliged his father and his left index finger moved in response.  Ben nodded and then pulled the covers up on his son.  “You get some sleep now. I have a feeling that your therapy is about to get more rigorous now that we can see that it is working.”  Ben bent down and kissed Joe’s forehead.  Joe closed his eyes and for the first time in weeks felt the start of hope in his soul.

 

The next week went by a bit slower as no further progress was noted.  Hopes were still high however as Adam and Hoss had been forced by their father to take off some time to just get away from the situation.  Ben also had done as the Reverend had instructed and had gone into town and spent the day with Roy Coffee.  Upon returning, Ben saw Doctor Martin’s rig in the front yard and he hurried inside the ranch house.

Adam arose from his chair after seeing the panic that was now displayed on his father’s face. “Everything is okay, Pa.  We just got a little concerned about Joe and thought the doctor should check on him.”  Adam said nearing his father.

“You should have told me!”  Ben protested angrily.

“We knew you’d be back soon, or we would have sent for you.  It’s probably just a cold that the boy has gotten.”

“I’m sorry for yelling, Adam.  It’s just that—” Ben trailed off and put his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Just that you saw the doctor’s buggy and thought something awful had happened.”  Adam completed his father’s statement and he nodded that he understood why Ben had blown up at him.

“Let’s go see to your brother.”  Ben turned and he and his son walked up the flight of stairs.  Walking into the room they saw Paul had his stethoscope out and was listening to Joe’s chest.

“How is he?”  Ben asked approaching the bed where both Hoss and Paul stood.

“Has a touch of pneumonia building up.”  Paul stated and shot Ben a look when he saw the man’s eyes go glassy.  “Now don’t go getting all up in arms.  This was to be expected.  You all have done a wonderful job with Joe.  It’s no-one’s fault.  We just have to keep it from getting any worse is all.”  Paul pulled the thermometer out of Joe’s mouth and read it.  “Just a little above normal.”  He said shaking it back down and cleaning it with alcohol.

“What do we do?”  Adam asked and walked over to stand near Hoss who was wearing a look of dread.

“Joe can’t cough much right now.  I suggest you keep him real warm.  You will need to put another thermal shirt over the other one.  Then he needs to be more in a sitting position for a couple of days to help him breathe easier.  I’m going to show you how to help with the congestion now.”  I will be back tomorrow evening.”  The doctor closed his bag and then reached out and touched his patient’s cheek softly.  “No more stunts you hear?  You are on the road back and I expect some real thorough therapy just as soon as you are feeling better.”

Joe signaled with his index finger and held a look of gratitude in his eyes for the man who had always cared so much for him and brought him back from every other illness.  Hoss walked the doctor down the stairs and Ben sat down on the bed next to Joe.  He pushed the hair off of the boy’s forehead and detected the fever he was running.

“Joseph, you are going to be the death of me.  Do you know that?”  Ben said exasperated.  Joe reached over for his father and Ben pulled him close.  He knew the boy was feeling miserable and he had to retract his earlier statement to ease his son’s mind.  “It’s my fault.  That little excursion outside a week ago should never have happened.  But, when we look at those hazel eyes how can we fight your requests?”  Joe pointed toward the board at the bottom of the bed.  “Nothing doing.  You are going to sit back now and be still.  Anything you have to say you can say later.  And, don’t look at me like that, cause it’s not going to work this time.”  Ben settled his son back against the pillows and then looked over at Adam.

“Hey—how about giving him some brandy?”  Adam asked.  “It might break up some of the congestion in his chest.”

“Paul didn’t say anything about using brandy.”  Ben returned.

“Yeah but he didn’t say not to either!”  Adam challenged his father.  Ben looked back to his youngest and noticed Joe’s index finger was raised in agreement.  Thinking on it for a few moments Ben finally agreed to it.  Not because Adam had suggested it, nor because Joe wanted it, but because he had used it in the past with congestion and found it to work.  “Go and get some, Adam.  I guess it’s worth a try.”

Adam walked out of the room and Joe again pointed toward the board.  “Joseph, you are the most stubborn child—” Ben gave in and brought the board and letters over to where Joe sat.

Doc said it wasn’t caused by those snowflakes Pa

So don’t be mad with me k

Ben read the message and shook his head amused.  “I am not mad with you, Joseph.  I am mad at the situation.  I am so scared for you right now.”  Ben squeezed Joe’s hand and Joe pointed back toward the board.  Ben handed it over again.

kinda scared myself

if I could cough

I know I sound like a little kid

will you stay tonight

I kinda want you here

just in case.”

Ben took the board away and looked into the eyes of his youngest.  Behind the brave try, Ben could read fear in the emerald pools that stared back at him.  “Joseph, have I ever left you when you were sick?  Do you think anyone could pull me out of here tonight?  The answer is no.  Now let’s try and break up some of that congestion now.  I have to pull you forward a little, just relax.”  Ben moved so he was slightly behind his son.  He cupped his hands and slowly and rhythmically began clapping his back.  Joe could not see his father’s face at the time which was a good thing. He might have caught the tears that were drifting from the worried father’s eyes.

As Adam walked back in, Ben had just finished with Joe and was settling the boy back against the pillows.  Adam brought over the glass and put a fresh straw inside of it.

“I had to dilute it down a bit, didn’t want it to sting your throat, Joe. Take it slow will you?”  Adam handed the brandy to his brother and Joe slowly sipped it.  When he was done, Joe gave the impression that he was trying to cough.

“Well, that worked pretty well.  We will try it again in a little while.”

“It’ll help with the pain, too.”  Adam winked at his brother, who he knew would enjoy the effects of the brandy.

Hop Sing next entered the room and carried with him a tray.  “Doctor tell Hop Sing to bring up treatment for Little Joe.  Have towel ready and first we put salve on chest.  Hop Sing get fresh shirt.”  Hop Sing walked over to the dresser and pulled out two thermal shirts.

“Two shirts doctor say.”  Hop Sing announced.  He had always listened carefully to instructions when it came to taking care of one of his family members.

Ben pulled the second shirt over Joe’s head and pushed the left arm in the sleeve and allowed Joe to put his right arm through himself.  ‘Well, Young Man, you are sufficiently doctored now.  How about closing those eyes awhile and getting some rest?”

Joe could smell the odor of the salve and the camphor and he felt like he would gag.  He fought his nausea so his family would not worry more than they already were.  Joe wanted to thank them all for the patient care they had provided but was too weak to even request his board let alone write a message.  He slowly closed his eyes and fell off to sleep.

“Okay, Pa.  You go and eat some dinner.  I’ll stay with him.”  Adam insisted.

“I promised Joseph I wouldn’t leave.”  Ben stated emphatically.

“Just long enough to eat.  Hoss and I are gonna spell you tonight.”

“I just told you—” Ben began and Adam cut him off.

“Pa—it’s okay, I know you are gonna be in here.  I just meant we are going to take turns watching him while you sleep.  First sign of a stir in that bed and we will wake you.  Now, you know that you have to have some rest so don’t argue.  Now go get some dinner and then you can settle in here for the night.”

Ben stood up and grinned at his eldest son.  “Who made you so smart anyway?”

“I believe it was that hard headed father of mine.”  Adam quipped and Ben laughed.

“All right. I’m going to grab something to eat and then wash up.  You call me if Joe wakes up.”

“Yes, Sir.”  Adam nodded and settled down into the chair.Two in the morning brought about changes for the worse in Joe.  His fever mounted and Ben was terrified.  Hop Sing at his side, they each took turns swabbing Joe down with rubbing alcohol to bring down the fever.  Each limb that they rubbed was quickly covered back up and then the next one was washed down.  Ben kept a cool cloth on Joe’s forehead and could see the boy was delirious.  Usually that would mean calling out feverishly, but with the boy’s inability to talk, only the trashing of the good side of his body showed them he was struggling.

 

Ben bent his head down wearily as they covered Joe up and then he said a silent prayer.

Please Dear Lord, help Joseph through this long night.  He has suffered so long, please help him

Ben’s prayers were apparently answered about an hour later when Joe stopped thrashing about and his breathing became more regular.  Ben felt of the boy’s forehead and noticed it wasn’t quite as warm.  It was then that Joe’s eyes suddenly opened and he gazed at the worried man before him.  “Well, you have had some night there, Joseph.  You hurting now?”

Joe weakly lifted two of his fingers and Ben sighed in relief.  “Well, let’s get you some water and then we will try to clear your chest a bit.”  Ben brought the straw up to Joe’s parched lips.  Joe sipped the water and then something odd happened.  When the glass was moved back to the night stand, Ben turned in time to catch a brief flinch on the left side of Joe’s face.  Ben rubbed at his eyes thinking that he was getting a bit punchy.  He then looked at Joe again, and the left side of the boy’s face twitched again.  Ben reached over and touched Joe’s cheek.  “Joseph?  Can you feel my hand?”  He whispered.  Joe reached with his right hand to cover his father’s hand that still rested on his left cheek.  It was then that he pointed out his index finger.

Ben’s heart leaped.  It had been such a crisis filled night, and to have it now culminate in life coming back to that side of his son’s face brought tears to his eyes. “Oh, Joseph!”  He cried and bent down and kissed the cheek lightly.  “You are coming back even more now.  And in your usual dramatic way too.”

A small, but noticeable lift to the boy’s left side of his mouth formed the first smile that Ben had seen on his son’s face in more than a month.  It was as intense as the very best Joe Cartwright smile and melted the worried father’s heart.   Ben let his fingers drift down to his son’s mouth.  “I’ll be danged—you are smiling—aren’t you?”  To which Joe held out his finger again.

“Shall we wake your brothers and tell them?”  Ben grinned as he looked across the room at the two young men who were sound asleep on bedrolls spread out on the floor.  Joe put out his two fingers.  He decided that his brothers needed sleep more than they needed to see a lopsided smile.

Ben nodded and still marveled at the sight before him.  “Well, then let’s do a little beating on that back to help you breathe better.  We will surprise them all in the morning.”  Ben patted Joe’s arm and then moved in back of him.  This time as he worked on his son, the tears that left Ben’s eyes were tears of joy and not anguish.

It was a faint sound that was coming from Joe’s bed that had awakened Ben almost three hours later.  He lifted his head up off the cot and looked over towards the bed.  There he could see in the faint lamplight Hoss with his muscular left arm holding Joe forward in the bed, while his right arm kept a steady beat. Hoss had been working on his little brother’s back for awhile before Ben got up and walked over to them both.

“I guess I dozed off.”  Ben whispered and Hoss smiled up at his father.

“I guess so cause you was sawing logs there for awhile, Pa.  Adam was up taking care of Joe when I woke up an hour ago.  I told him to go back to sleep and let me take it from here.”  Hoss stopped his clapping on his brother’s back and eased him to rest back on the pillows.

“Have you showed your brother yet, Joseph?”  Ben asked and Hoss reached over and patted Joe’s shoulder.

“I can answer that, Pa.  When I came over here, there Joe was smiling at me.  So, he figured how to wake up that side of his face at last, did he?”

“He sure did.  Only took a night of terrifying us all to do it too.”  Ben winked at his son and Joe returned the smile.

“You go on go back to sleep, Pa.  There’s still a little while before daybreak.  And, I’m wide awake now.”  Hoss insisted.

Joe saw his father hesitate and he lifted his right hand and made a “go away” motion towards Ben.  Ben chuckled in response and then walked back over to the cot for another hour of badly needed rest.

“I would say that the crisis is now over.”  The doctor stated as he drew out the ends of the stethoscope from his ears.  “But, not without causing all of us a few more gray hairs, Joe.”  Paul smiled and then decided to check his patient’s eyes again.  He moved the light past the strong right eye and then back over to the left one.  “Seems a bit more reactive now.  Is your sight clear in your left eye yet, Joe?”

Joe pointed toward his board and Doctor Martin passed it over to him.

little hazy but better than it was 

wish something else would start to get better

Still can’t feel my leg or my arm 

Still can’t talk

“Young Man—need I remind you that a week or so ago you could not move your finger on that left hand nor could you feel the left side of your face?  Need I remind you that you could have died from that pneumonia?  You have spent the last week fighting to live through it.  Do you understand?”

Joe frowned at Paul’s ire, but shot out his index finger in response.

“One step at a time.  Don’t forget that, Joe.  I know how anxious you are, believe me I am just as anxious!  Do you think it’s easy having you for a patient?”

Joe shot out two fingers again and then broke into a small but meaningful smile.

“Okay then.  Now let’s get back to some therapy around here.  I will work with you today.”  Paul looked over at the other Cartwrights and Hop Sing.  “But, first—you all are hereby ordered to get out of here.  Go into town—read a book—take a nap—whatever—just go.  I do not need any more patients.”

“But—” Ben started and Paul cut him right back off.

“Leave!  I don’t want to see any of you until later this evening.  I will sit with Joe after we do some exercises.  I even brought a book with me to read, so I’ll be more than content.”

“Don’t make him mad, Pa.”  Hoss said taking his father by his arm.  “He might just give you a shot or something!”

Ben laughed and then watched as all the others filed out of the bedroom.  “You take it easy on the doctor there, Joseph.”  Ben warned.  “I have the feeling he won’t put up with any nonsense today!”

Joe frowned in response, he knew he would be in for one heck of a therapy session now.  Ben retreated from the room and Paul walked around the bed to ready for the start of Joe’s exercises.  Paul smiled to himself.  He wanted to do something for all of the Cartwrights, and with the way they were, stubborn and all, the only way to accomplish his gift of time was to get firm with them.

 

Doctor Martin was true to his word and gave Joe a thorough work out.  He finally finished with Joe’s leg and arm and then sat down on the bed next to his patient.  Putting his hand lightly on Joe’s throat he coaxed him on.  “Now that the pneumonia is all gone I want you to try your best to force some air up through your windpipe.  I want to hear something other than a groan today.”

Joe closed his eyes to try and focus in on what he was doing.  He finally made a small sound that was just barely audible.  “Try that again, Joe.”  Paul instructed.

Joe managed to make a faint “ah” sound and it took all his strength to accomplish it.  Paul eased him back down to rest against the pillows.  “Not bad.  I want you practicing though, any chance you get.  You don’t need the others for this part of your therapy.”

Joe pointed toward his board and the doctor handed him both the board and the case of letters.  Joe spelled out his message which read,

help me to talk I need to talk

This board is not the same thing

“I’m trying to do that very thing right now, Joe.  I am afraid the paralysis has not freed your vocal cords just yet.  But even that brief sound you just made is better than what you could do a month and a half ago.”  Paul said and noticed the small frown that Joe now wore.  Paul sighed and tried to think of anything else that would help.  “How about trying to purse your lips?  Now that you can move that side of your mouth you can at least try to pretend to talk.  Think about a short word and try to form it on your lips.”

Joe mashed his lips together.  He had one particular word in mind as he practiced how he would say it if he ever got the chance.  Paul smiled over at the young man.  He could tell by Joe’s lip movement exactly what that word would be.

“Okay, Joe.  Now I will make you a challenge—I know how much you like those, right?  Like herding a hundred head of cattle to south shore in seven days?”  The doctor said with a hint of sarcasm in his tone.  “I challenge you to say that one word by Christmas.  It will just be between you and me, okay?”

Joe started to write on his board again and then showed it to the doctor.

Christmas? 

When is Christmas? 

I don’t even know what month it is

The doctor read the message and then looked a bit emotional as he reached out and patted his patient’s arm.  “I’m sorry, Joe.  I know this all has just been one awful blur to you ever since you woke up that morning.  Today is Thursday, December tenth.

That gives you exactly fifteen days to meet my deadline.  If you do that, I will get you something very special for a present.  And if you don’t—” The doctor stood back up and put his hands on his hips to feign authority.  “If you don’t then I am going to take that board of yours away for a week.  How does that sound?”

it will take more than that to shut me up for a week Doc  But you have a deal

Joe reached out with his right hand and shook on the challenge.

Paul laughed at what Joe had written him and made his way over to the chair.  “I’m gonna read some of my book now.  You might as well start practicing your word.  I think I’ll give you a fifty-fifty chance on accomplishing that feat.  I won’t be shopping for your present just yet!”  Paul winked at Joe and then picked up his book.

Ben sat down in his chair by the fireplace and looked deep in thought as Adam approached him.  “Something wrong, Pa?”  He asked sitting down next to his father.

“I just have a lot of things on my mind right now.  Christmas for one.  It’s only ten days away now and I have yet to come up with anything for Joseph.  I have bought all of yours and Hoss’ gifts. I even have Hop Sing’s present.  But nothing for Joe.”

“It is kinda hard.  Hoss and I have been trying to come up with something too and we aren’t having any luck.  Why don’t we have a family meeting and we can field ideas at each other?”

“That’s a great idea.”  Ben nodded with the hope that together they could find just the right gift for Joe.  “Go and get Hoss.”

“He’s up with Joe right now.  Hop Sing has already turned in.”  Adam replied.

“It’s all right to leave Joseph alone for awhile.  In fact he has been asking for more privacy lately.  It’s hard to even imagine he would be up to something, but I’ve seen that familiar look in his eyes and know he is hiding something.  I think that is the main reason he has been asking for some solitude.”

“How could he be up to something?  He can’t get up.  He still can’t move anything other than that finger on his left hand.”

“Father’s intuition, Adam.  So, let’s leave him to what ever he is up to and let the three of us come up with our own plans.”

“I’ll go get Hoss.”  Adam grinned at the thought that his little brother could be planning something in the condition he was in.

A short time later Adam was back downstairs with Hoss.  They all gathered around the fireplace to talk.  “Any idea what Joe has up his sleeve?”  Ben asked Hoss.

“Well, I ain’t one for giving away secrets, but figured you all should know that Joe gave me some money to get you both gifts.”

“Yeah he gave me some to get you a gift, Hoss.”  Adam laughed.

“And he gave me some money to get Hop Sing something too!”

Ben chuckled at the thought.  Joe was going to make sure that everyone had something from him this year even if he couldn’t pick it out himself.  “Just where did Joe get all of this money anyway?”  Ben asked his two sons.

“Pa, I tell you Joe has money stashed all over his room! “Hoss exclaimed.  “He hides it in his sock drawer, under his desk—all kinds of places!”

“Yeah—well he told me to get some out from behind his bureau.  I am surprised we didn’t see it when we moved it a couple of weeks ago.  He had it in an envelope taped to the back of it!”  Adam was now laughing hard as he conveyed all of the money hide outs he had found.

“Joseph had me get it out of his billfold so I did not get the pleasure of a treasure hunt myself.”  Ben announced.  “That boy doesn’t believe in banks does he?”

“Nope—I asked him and he said he didn’t like people knowing how much he has.  He also told me that once he is all better he will have to come up with different places since I now know his stash places.”

Ben shook his head amused.  “Didn’t he ask you for some money just a few days before he left to move the herd?”  Ben asked Hoss.

“Heck yeah!  He said he was broke at the time.”   Hoss became more pensive as he thought on what a sucker he had been at the time to give it to Joe when he obviously had money at the time.

“He hit me up for twenty too, Hoss, so don’t feel bad.”  Adam announced and they both looked up toward the stairs.  “That little criminal—” Adam started as he thought on the fact that Joe had always been amiss to pay back his loans.

“Now, Gentlemen—” Ben started and cleared his throat to get their attention.  “He may be somewhat of a shyster—but it looks like he was saving up to get you all something nice for Christmas.”  Ben explained.

“Yeah—with our own money!”  Hoss laughed now at the thought.

“I miss that little cuss running around here making me mad to tell you the truth.  But it’s nice to see his legacy of trickery still holds true even though he’s laid up.”  Adam said out of deep affection for his little brother.

Ben looked from son to son and saw their moods change fast.  They were back into the missing Joe routine and out of the thoughts of him tricking them out of money now.  “He was more than generous in what he gave me to get you both something.  And if he told Hoss to get something for Adam and Adam to get something for Hoss then he was going to make sure you had several gifts.  I have already purchased the ones for you both from him.”

“Yeah—he sure gave me money for your present, Pa.”  Adam grinned.

“I thought I was buying Pa’s present?”  Hoss asked bewildered.

“Looks like Joe wanted to make sure Pa had several gifts too.”

“Kinda puts the little shyster in a whole new light doesn’t it, Boys?”  Ben grinned now.

Adam and Hoss both nodded their agreement at what Ben had said.

“So, you all do exactly what Joseph wants you to do with that money.  Oh—by the way I could use a new pipe.”  Ben winked at them both.  “But, the reason for this formal meeting is to figure out what we are going to do for him.  Any ideas?”

“I had a couple of thoughts, Pa.”  Adam started and they all huddled together to try and pull one over on Joe to make up for all he was planning to do for them.

 

Meanwhile upstairs Joe was once again at practice.  He continued daily to meet Doctor Martin’s challenge.  Joe mashed his lips together and tried again to make the sound come up from his throat.  He was determined to accomplish it by Christmas and had practiced every day since the doctor had suggested it.  Joe would often send the others off to do something for him just to have time by himself so they wouldn’t know what he was doing.  It wasn’t just the challenge that made Joe try so hard.  If he accomplished that one word he would use it as another Christmas gift to someone very special to him.

The Ponderosa was decked out in her finest decorations for Christmas.  The house was filled with the aroma of cookies, pies and other special treats thanks to Hop Sing’s cooking.  A huge pine tree which spread it’s boughs across the living room and reached up to the top to the staircase had been brought in and decorated with cherished mementoes of Christmas’ past.

Adam and Ben stood back and viewed their creation.  They were amazed at how each year seemed to out do the previous years decorations.  Adam grinned over at his father and put his arm around his broad shoulder.

“She’s a work of art isn’t she, Pa?”  He asked staring at the tree.

Ben nodded, “The finest we have ever had.  I hope it will lift Joe’s spirits when he sees it.  By the way—where’s Hoss?”   Ben looked around the room for his middle child.  It seemed like he had vanished.

“I think he went up to get Joe.”  Adam answered, and as if on cue Hoss appeared at the top of the staircase with his little brother in his massive arms.

“Okay, Little Joe—-go for it!”  Hoss encouraged and lifted Joe over the banister.

Adam and Ben stood terrified as Joe was lifted toward the top of the tree.  Hoss had given Joe the task of placing the star on the top of the Christmas tree.

“Hoss Cartwright!”  Ben’s voice boomed at the horrific sight.  “He’s gonna fall!”

Hoss grinned down at his father.  “No he ain’t, Pa.  I got a hold of him good.”

Joe’s right hand nervously sought out the top bough and secured the star in place.

“Good job, Short Shanks!”  Hoss laughed and carried his brother down the stairs.  He brought the boy over to the settee and laid him down.  Ben was quickly over to them both.

“Have I raised complete idiots?”  Ben said still angered by what could have happened.

Joe’s finger shot out to tell his father the truth, yes he had raised some idiots.  Ben shook his head at the gesture and finally calmed down.  Ben sat on the coffee table and noticed Joe’s eyes as they took in the sight before him now.  “Well, you like?”  Ben asked and Joe shot out his index finger again.  This time he used his left index finger for effect.

“We haven’t set the presents out yet.”  Adam announced and joined the others.  “I was afraid to do that with you down here, Joe.  There has never been a Christmas to my knowledge where you haven’t peaked at every present long before Christmas morning.

Joe responded by pointing at the left side of his body, obviously to show them all how ridiculous his brother’s statement had been.  He wondered just how Adam thought he would be able to get over to the presents to open them.

Adam patted Joe’s arm affectionately and responded, “Oh—that wouldn’t stop you—somehow I know you would snoop, so they don’t get laid out until you go to bed tonight.”

Joe frowned at the thought, curiosity was getting the better of him, he had to admit.  Though he couldn’t think of anything his family could give him that would be appropriate now.  Unless they had some kind of miracle cure, there were few things he could use now.

Ben tuned in to his son’s thoughts and felt his hurt.  It wasn’t exactly the normal joyous occasion that Christmas had always been in the past.  It would be difficult for all of them this year.  Joe not being able to run around playing his pranks and laughing heartily at all of his gifts, nor would they be able to give him the things they would usually give him.  Ben tried to shake himself out of his doldrums just as Hop Sing appeared coming from the kitchen.  He brought with him a platter of freshly baked Christmas cookies.

The three oldest Cartwrights each helped themselves, but paused suddenly when they realized that there would be no way that Joe could enjoy the baked goods.  Hop Sing saw their uncomfortable looks and he spoke up.  “Little Joe eat cookie too!”  He smiled and walked over to the young man on the sofa.

“Hop Sing—” Ben started worriedly.  “We can’t give him one—he might choke on it.  You know what Doctor Martin told us.”

Hop Sing placed a bowl in Joe’s lap and nodded to him and then turned around to face Ben.  “Hop Sing know what to do.  I put cookie in milk and broke up enough so he can eat.  You no yell—Hop Sing know more about things than father!”

Joe’s face lit up and he shot out a smile.  It still wasn’t the profound smile of a couple of months ago but a beautiful one nonetheless.  He was tickled to see Hop Sing taking on his father.

“If  he chokes—” Ben started again and Hop Sing sent off a string of Chinese chastisements in response.  Joe spooned up a bit of the cookie and milk mixture and put it in his mouth.  He gave it plenty of time to dissolve and swallowed it without incident.  Ben watched as Joe scooped up more and he turned back and put his hand on Hop Sing’s shoulder.  “I graciously admit that I was wrong.”  Ben bent down to show honor to his friend and Hop Sing smiled broadly and then hurried back to the kitchen.

The night was filled with story telling and reminiscing over Christmas’ past.  Joe looked around after the last story was told and signaled for his board.  Passing it over to him, Hoss read over his shoulder as his brother wrote.

time for Christmas carols now 

I know you will all miss my beautiful voice

but don’t let that stop you

Adam grab your guitar

Hoss laughed at the message and passed it over to the rest of his family to read.  It had been on purpose that they had not sung.  They didn’t want Joe to feel left out in any way.  But, at his urging Adam went for his guitar laying over across by Ben’s study.

“Okay—I’m taking requests now—what’ll it be, Joe?”  Adam asked with a bright smile lighting up his face.

any one but Silent Night

puts me to sleep

“Silent night—Holy night—” Adam started singing and then stopped.  “Oh—right—guess this time I don’t want to put you to sleep as in past years!  Okay, if Pa will start us off, Hoss and I will entertain you with Joy To The World.”

Ben started right in followed by Hoss’ booming baritone voice.  They sang that song and a half a dozen other ones before taking a break.

“Pa—I kinda do miss Joe’s off-key singing—it’s hard to do this now.”  Hoss laughed and Joe reached over and smacked his brother’s knee in response.  “Okay—okay—I guess you wasn’t all that bad.  You sure brought the cattle up into the yard when you soloed.”

“Joseph has a wonderful voice—and I am sure he will have it back by this time next year.”

Joe wrote on his board

maybe when it comes back it will hold a note

you think

“Miracles do happen.”  Adam replied and then started strumming the cords to Silent Night.  By the time he was finished, Joe lay deep in slumber.

“Still works.”  Adam whispered to his father and covered his brother up with a blanket.

“Let’s let him nap for awhile.”  Ben nodded.  “Meantime, I see nothing wrong with us raiding Hop Sing’s kitchen.  All that singing made me hungry.”

“You don’t want to rile Hop Sing up, Pa.”  Hoss warned as they all neared the kitchen.

“Rile him?  Why he’d be very hurt if we didn’t try to steal something on Christmas Eve!”  Ben announced and they all made their way in towards the wonderful fragrances that were emanating from the kitchen.

By ten o’clock Ben decided it was time to call it a night and was just about to carry Joe up to his room when a knock sounded on the front door.  Hoss opened the door to see Doctor Martin standing there with a gift in his hand.

“Doc!  Don’t tell me you came all the way out here to bring me my gift!”  Hoss exclaimed.

“No I didn’t.  I came out to give this to your brother.”  Paul winked at Hoss and moved over to the settee.  Ben woke his son up and Joe stared over at the doctor.

“I know it’s late, but I believe I need to examine you before Christmas, Young Man.”

“You know you are invited out here tomorrow, Paul.”  Ben addressed the man who had become like a brother to him.

“Thanks just the same, Ben.  Reverend Hastings and family invited both Roy and me out to their place for Christmas dinner.  So, if I can ask one of you to take this young man up to his room I will examine him.”

Hoss did the honors and carried his little brother once again to his room.  Ben and Adam joined them over by the bed.

“You will excuse Joseph and me won’t you?”  The doctor said giving them all the hint that he wanted to be alone with his patient.  Reluctantly they left the room.  Standing in the hallway they stood perplexed at the obvious secrecy that was going on behind the closed door.

Paul set down his present on the night stand and looked over at Joe.  “Now, do you get this present—or do I go and take that board away now?”  He asked with a bit of a smile turning up the corners of his lips.  Joe’s heart raced.  He wasn’t at all sure that he had mastered the word, but knew he had to try.

“Just take your time, Joe.”  The doctor said sitting down next to Joe on the bed.  He wanted to be close enough to hear the word, should the boy come out with it.  Paul could see how Joe was struggling and part of him regretted ever having come up with the challenge.

Joe mashed his lips and tried.  Nothing came out.  He tried again and again and still no results.  Paul put his hand on Joe’s shoulder.  “Try one more time—give it everything you have.”  He coaxed the boy on.

Finally, and without a lot of volume, the word came out.  It was just distinctive enough to know what the word was.  It would have been hard to tell who was thrilled the most, Joe or Paul.

The doctor reached over and hugged his patient, so happy to have been the one to first see and hear what the boy had accomplished and knowing how hard he worked to do it.

“I think I owe you this present.”  Paul said and reached over for the package.  “You can open it now, Joe. I won’t be seeing you tomorrow so it’s only fair.”

With the package in his lap Joe tore into the wrapping with his right hand.  When it was opened Joe saw it was a leather bound book.  He looked up at the doctor, a question in his eyes.

“Don’t panic—I’m not trying to make you the scholar that Adam is—this is a very special book.  I wrote it myself actually.  It is the story of Joseph Cartwright, told by me.”

Joe opened the book to the first page, the dedication read,

“This is a book written for someone I admire greatly, Joseph Cartwright. 

He is the patient who has most kept me in business the last twenty plus years.  It is a log that starts from the day he was born all the way up to today’s date.  It will chronicle every medical emergency he has put me through over the years, along with how he has bravely conquered them all. 

With warmest admiration, Doctor Paul Martin.”

Joe smiled up at the man and turned to the next page.  It began with the day he was born and went on to tell of the frantic ride the doctor had taken through the uncharted lands, which had just become the Ponderosa ranch.

“I have left some pages blank in the back.  Some will be used to tell of how you over came this stroke—and the others—well—you and I both know you will be keeping me in business.”  Paul laughed and Joe reached over and put his arm around the doctor’s shoulder to thank him.  Then, Joe pointed over to the chair by his window.  Paul looked across to where a present had been placed.  Joe pointed to the doctor to signal to him that the present was for him.

“For me?”  Paul said and Joe nodded as best he could.  Paul brought it over and Joe wrote on his board.

I had to have Pa go and get it for me

hope you like it

I figured you deserved something special this year

for all I’ve put you through

Paul read the message and grinned.  “It’s just another injury to me, Joe.  One that I know you will get over due to your track record.”  Paul opened the present and found inside the new black leather medical bag.  “This is wonderful—I needed one badly.  This one here has been toted all over the territory and is about to start dropping instruments out.”  Paul pointed toward his medical bag and the terrible condition it was in.  Joe smiled, glad that he had chosen the right present.  “Now you get some rest there, Joe.  I think your family is going to try hard to give you a wonderful Christmas.  I know you are about to give them a remarkable one yourself.  One member in particular due to our little challenge.  Merry Christmas.”  Paul patted Joe’s arm and the boy smiled up at him with great admiration showing in the hazel glow of his eyes.

Paul wasn’t at all surprised to see the three men hovering outside of Joe’s room.  He addressed them all with a feigned scowl on his face.  “Snooping?  You should be ashamed of yourselves!”  He called out to them.  They all laughed.

“Just wondering what all the secrecy was all about.  Is Joseph all right?”  Ben asked.

“Joe is fine.  What a nice present he gave me.”  Paul held up his new bag.  “And how appropriate coming from the boy I am usually carrying this around for.  I must be going, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.”  Paul reached over and offered a handshake to each of the Cartwrights.

“Merry Christmas, Paul.  And thanks.”  Ben nodded toward the man.

“Merry Christmas, Doc.”  Adam and Hoss chimed in.

The doctor made his way out of the house and back into town as Ben walked into his youngest son’s room to check on him.  Joe had the book in his hand and was reading.

“What do you have there, Joseph?’  Ben asked taking a seat next to the bed.  Joe passed the book over and his father read the dedication.  Ben laughed heartily and then turned the page. “How about I read some of this to you. Looks like it will be good.”

Joe settled back and pointed his index finger to tell his father to go on with the story.

How it all began.  It was in the midst of a very late snowfall for the season, on March eight that I was greeted by a very young Adam Cartwright, who burst into my office out of breath.  The only words I had discerned were “baby coming, and help”.  I knew that meant that, just as I had warned earlier, Marie Cartwright was delivering early.  I grabbed my coat and medical bag and Adam and I drove out in my buggy towards the new ranch called the Ponderosa.  Now back then there were no good roads leading out from Virginia City into the wilderness through the vast forests which surrounded the Ponderosa ranch house.  The snow became more fierce and Adam and I were about frozen to the seat by the time we reached the house.  I hurried up to your parent’s room, and after chastising Marie a little I went to work.  Now, as for your mother.  She was much like her son.  She couldn’t sit still more than a minute and I had warned her to quit all activity for awhile to lessen the chance of an early delivery. 

Though your father tried his darndest, that woman could not be tamed.  She continued to help Hop Sing in the kitchen and tend the other two sons that she loved dearly.  With all that to be considered, it truly was amazing that she could deliver a healthy child.  But, just two hours after I arrived Joseph Cartwright entered this world. (And the world would never be the same again!)  I held you in my arms and you screamed so loud I was sure I would go deaf.  (Seems to me you continued to scream at me every time I doctored you all the way up to your teens by the way.)  You were so tiny, and there was talk that you would not survive the night.  That was the first and last time I ever underestimated your will to live.  The only time you stopped crying that whole night was when you were in your father’s arms.  Right from the start we knew that you both would share a special bond.  Marie slept that whole night and when she awoke the next day she was thrilled to hold her new infant son.  I know I was thrilled when I handed you over to her so I could get some rest.

Ben looked over at his son laying in the bed so still.  Somewhere along the line he had fallen to sleep.  He wore a peaceful smile on his lips.  Ben thought on how special this book would be to his son through the years. Ben would have read all of it that evening, but knew he would have a big day ahead of him.  Ben turned back to the one part which had moved him the most and read it out loud again,

“The only time you stopped crying that whole night was when you were in your father’s arms.  Right from the start we knew that you both would share a special bond.”

Ben pushed the curls off of Joe’s forehead and whispered, “and we do, Joseph, a very special bond.  Goodnight, Son.”  Ben pulled up the covers and set the book down on the night stand.  There was still much to be done that night to prepare for Christmas morning.

Looking up toward the stairs, came thoughts of Joe.  The boy would always be “Little Joe” to Hop Sing, no matter how old he got.  He had tended the infant son, and their particular bond was right from the very first time Hop Sing had held him.  Always offering both Ben and Marie some privacy, Hop Sing spent many a night with the little boy’s crib within reach of his own bed.  Later, after the sad passing of Marie, Hop Sing offered the little boy the tenderness of a mother’s love.  Joe would often run to Hop Sing for help before going to his father.  Somewhere along the line, the little boy had discovered that no matter what awful thing he had done, that Hop Sing would run interference for him to give his father time to calm down.  Hop Sing had seen Joe through so many illnesses and injuries that even the stroke had not shaken his faith in the young man.  Hop Sing knew in his heart that his “Little Joe” would conquer it too.

“I go get Little Joe ready.”  Hop Sing blurted out.  Without waiting for a response the Chinese member of the family hurried toward the stairs.

 

Joe had been awake for awhile deep in thought.  He always loved to stay in bed, and was usually the last one down for breakfast.  But, Christmas morning had always been different.  He was always the first Cartwright to awaken and usually would pounce upon his father’s bed to wake him.  Then he would go into the other two rooms and awaken his brothers.  They always feigned their dislike of his waking them, but he could tell it still amused them even though they were all no longer children.

Joe looked down at his stricken left leg.  This Christmas would be a whole different story.  He wished he could have wakened everyone.  He wished he could have run from room to room as in Christmas’ past.  He now wished he could just get out of bed without falling onto the floor.  As he fought his early morning depression, Hop Sing bounded into the bedroom.

“Melly Christmas, Little Joe!”  Hop Sing called loudly and moved over to hug the boy.

Joe stared into Hop Sing’s dark glowing eyes and could remember back to his earlier Christmas’.  Something in those eyes made Joe feel better already and he hugged Hop Sing back.  Then Joe reached for his board and wrote a message.

Merry Christmas Hop Sing

is everyone up

Hop Sing took his time to understand the writing and then grinned up at Joe. “Family downstairs at breakfast now.  We clean you then take you down to eat down living room.”

Joe wrote again,

how about some real clothes today

I don’t want to sit around on Christmas in night clothes

Hop Sing read the message and nodded his head.  Though it would be a bit harder to accomplish than just long johns and a thermal shirt, Hop Sing was determined to give Joe what he wanted this day.  He walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pants, a shirt and thermal underwear.  At least he would make sure that the young man was warm enough.

“We get you cleaned up and then you dress.  Then have Mr. Hoss carry you down.”

thanks Hop Sing

you always know how to cheer me up

“No write no more—must clean up.”  Hop Sing pretended to be forceful, though he knew Joe could just about ask for anything and he would oblige the boy.

Once Hop Sing had gotten Joe all ready to come downstairs, Ben decided he would bring his son down himself.

“Merry Christmas, Joseph.”  Ben greeted his youngest and approached the bed.  “Looks like you are all dressed up to see what Santa has left you.”  Ben chuckled and Joe shot back a smile.  Ben lifted Joe up into his arms and the boy pointed over towards his board.

“I’ll send Hoss back up for that, Joseph. I’m afraid you are quite enough of a load for me.  You know I am not getting any younger.”

Joe wished he could tell his father exactly what was going on in his own mind.  If he could he would have addressed the fact that he really wasn’t all too keen on being carried by anyone at his age.  It was damaging enough to his ego just laying in bed and having people tend to him, but being carried around like an infant did nothing for his pride.

Ben could tell by the mounting stiffness in his son’s body that Joe was not happy.  He wanted to somehow make him feel more comfortable, and now regretted his earlier comment about not getting any younger.

“You know, Joseph—though I hate that this happened to you—you know that.  And I am sure by next Christmas you will be making your way downstairs on your own two legs.  But, I was just thinking how fortunate it was for my back that I am carrying you and not your brother Hoss.”

That small effort on Ben’s part did the trick and Joe grinned at the idea of his father trying to lug all two-hundred and eighty pounds of his brother Hoss.   Joe happily pointed toward the doorway to signal that he was ready to join the family now.

Beneath the enormous Christmas tree sat many brightly wrapped presents.  Joe’s eyes danced across all of them wondering which ones were his.  He also wondered what he had gotten the other family members.  Hoss and Adam joined Ben and Joe in the living room just as Hop Sing brought over Joe’s breakfast.

“Merry Christmas!”  Both brothers said exuberantly to their younger brother.

Joe pointed up to his room and Ben knew what he wanted.  He sent Hoss up the stairs to bring down the board and letters.  Joe just played with his oatmeal, he was far too interested in the presents under the tree.

“No presents until you eat, Joseph.”  Ben warned just as Hoss handed his brother his means of communication.

presents then eat

Joe wrote down defiantly and passed it to his father.

“You better eat or all you will find under that tree is a lump or two of coal!”  Ben shot back and saw Joe lift up his spoon again.  He ate all that was in his bowl and then after drinking some cooled coffee he pointed toward the tree again.

“I think that means he’s ready now, Pa.”  Adam announced grinning at Joe’s excitement.  Underneath all of the rebellion of his brother, Adam knew there was a little boy who loved giving and receiving presents.

Ben stooped down and started passing the presents around the room.  It didn’t take long before the living room was a mass of torn wrapping paper.  When it came to opening presents, Ben thought to himself, his sons did not play.

Joe watched as his brothers opened the presents that they had received from each other and from him as well. It seemed that they had done a wonderful job at choosing the right gifts, and Joe was very pleased as each of them thanked him. Next, he watched his father open a new gift of a pipe and saw how he fired it right up to show his pleasure in the gift.  Ben also thanked his sons and Joe for the gift of the pipe, bathrobe and new hat.

Joe had only one gift in his lap. He was surprised and also a bit miffed that he didn’t have more around him.  He opened the package to find a fine green silk shirt from Hop Sing.  He wrote his thank you on his board and Hop Sing smiled to see that Joe liked it.  Hop Sing thanked Joe as well for the new cookbook and carving knives that Ben had chosen as Joe’s present to his Chinese care taker.

It was at this point, as all of the gifts were now opened, that a hushed silence fell over the room.  They all could tell by the look on Joe’s face that he was unhappy. Not wanting the mood to last, they finally addressed what they had for him.

“Joe, we have a couple presents for you still.”  Adam started and then looked over at his father.

“That’s right.  We have kinda planned a three part present. I think Hoss is bringing the first one in now.”  Ben pointed towards the dining room and Hoss was heading out of the guest room.  He was pushing a wheelchair.

Joe’s eyes took in the sight.  He felt a tightness in the pit of his stomach and thought he would become ill.  The sight of the wheelchair brought back haunting memories of Mr. Abrams, and the way he had sat in a chair just like it and waited to die.

Adam glanced at his brother and could read his thoughts.  It was he who Joe had confided in about his thoughts about Mr. Abrams the furniture dealer.  Adam turned and nudged his father and gave him a look to let him know to hurry to the next present.

“Now, Joseph, since we all know that your time in that chair will be limited, we are ready to show you your next gift.”  Ben walked behind his blue chair and pulled out a pair of crutches.

“First the chair, then these and then—” Ben paused and motioned for Hoss.

Hoss grabbed the coats of all the Cartwrights in preparation to make a trip outside.  He tossed a blanket around his little brother and then lifted him into the wheelchair.  They all could tell that Joe was baffled as to what was happening and where they were taking him.

Ben waited until everyone was dressed for going outside and then he opened the door.  They brought Joe to the front porch, and Adam slipped off to the side of the house.

“You will see that your brothers have built you a ramp here for when you start getting around more in that chair.”  Ben stated and saw the bewildered stare that was on his son’s face.

It was at that moment that Adam appeared again.  This time he wasn’t alone.  He led Cochise into view.  Ben knelt down by the wheelchair and put his arm on Joe’s shoulder.  “We know that it won’t be long from the wheelchair to the crutches and finally you will be back riding Cochise.  We got you a new saddle, bridle and blanket for him.”

Joe reached over to hug his father and then turned enough to show his brothers how happy he was with the presents, especially the last present.  He pointed to his father to take him down the ramp and over to his horse.  Though it was cold, Ben knew that seeing Cochise would be the warmth Joe needed inside his heart at the moment.  Ben pushed the chair over to the horse.  Almost as if the horse was powered by a higher intelligence, Cochise snorted and put his snout down against Joe’s face.  Joe reached up and stroked his beloved horse.  He wished he could call out the horse’s name, but it looked like the horse knew that his master was injured.

Joe did not have his board with him at the time, but he wished so badly that he could tell all of his family how much the gifts had meant to him.  In particular, seeing Cochise again and knowing that they all truly believed that he would recover completely from his stroke.

“Okay, Joseph.  We have to get you back inside now—we don’t want a repeat performance of that pneumonia you know!”  Ben waited until his son patted the pinto one final time and then turned him back towards the warmth of the house.

 

Christmas day was a joyous one for all of the Cartwrights.  They enjoyed the fact that they all were together and the dinner prayer reflected that fact.  Joe had been wheeled to the table to eat with all of his family and was touched at the mention of thanks being given to God that he kept Joe safe and for the continued improvement from his stroke.  Hop Sing had even taken the time to chop some turkey into very tiny pieces and had mixed it with gravy so that Joe could at least get a small sample of the wonderful meal the cook had prepared.

After a day and evening full of stories, laughs and memories shared, it was time to take Joe back to his room.  Joe reached for his board and wrote a final message to his brothers.

thanks, and not just for the presents 

Thanks for helping me the last two months

I know it hasn’t been easy on this family 

I am just lucky to have all of you

That small message made each of the Cartwrights have to fight back tears.  They knew how Joe felt.  They knew he hated being confined in any way.  But, his thoughts were on how his illness had affected his family and not himself.

“Merry Christmas, Short Shanks.”  Hoss said and threw his arms around him and gave him a hug.

“As I’ve said before—if you want to thank us—just get better.”  Adam reached out and hugged Joe as well.

Ben’s heart felt as though it would burst at the sight of his three sons.  Despite times of terrible arguments, uneven tempers, and differences in their natures, they loved each other.  Ben sighed.  He admitted to himself that with a great deal of help from God, that he had done a good job at raising all three of them.

Ben lifted Joe up into his arms, and this time allowed Joe to carry the board and letters in his good right hand as they ascended the stairs.  After getting Joe out of his regular clothes and into some warmer night clothes Ben sat down on the chair by his son’s bed.

“You have had some day there, Joseph.  And you didn’t even get a nap in either.  Now you need to shut those eyes and get some rest.”

Joe reached for his board and wrote out another message.

One more present

He handed the board to his father to read.

“Another present?  For who?”  Ben asked and Joe pointed at his father.

“For me?  Joseph you did way too much as it is.”

Joe patted the side of his bed for Ben to come closer.  His father moved over to sit next to his son and looked at him bewildered.  Then, he saw the pure concentration on Joe’s face take over.  After struggling for a couple minutes a faint sound came out.  It wasn’t the word, though, and frustrated, Joe tried again.  Still nothing.  Ben put his arm around Joe and consoled him.

“I know you are trying to say something, Joe.  But, don’t let it bother you.  You’ll be able to talk soon enough.  What you need is rest.”  Ben tried to get Joe to lay back but his son fought the touch.  He tried again to bring up the one word he knew he could say.  He had said it to the doctor, but it would not mean a thing if he could not say it this night to his father.

Joe finally gave up.  He looked sadly over at Ben and frowned.

“You have given me the best present already, Son.  You are here, you are improving, and that is all that I ever wanted.”  Ben bent down and kissed Joe’s forehead and patted his arm.  “Good night, Joseph—and Merry Christmas.”  Ben said and stood up.

Taking two steps toward the door, his back towards his son, Ben stopped in his tracks when he heard something coming from the bed.  Turning back around to face Joe, Ben whispered, “Joe?  Did you just say something?”  Ben walked closer to his son just when the word was spoken at last.

“P—ah——pa” Came the soft but understandable word from Joe’s lips.

Ben stood there, unmoving as if in a trance like state.

“P—ah” Joe said again to try to bring about some reply from his father.

“Joseph!”  Ben shouted and took his son into his arms.  “When—how—” He started and then realized his son couldn’t answer the questions he was throwing out.  “It doesn’t matter—none of that matters.  You can talk!  Joe, this is just the start, but it was the most wonderful thing to hear you call me “pa” after all these months!”  Ben took Joe’s face into his hands and saw that Joe also had tears in his eyes.  He was so happy to have been able to say that word, and to have given it to his father as a gift to show him how much he meant to him.

“Thank you, Son.  This is the best gift I have ever gotten on Christmas.  I will never forget the moment you said that word no matter how long I live.”

Joe smiled up at his father, he would never forget this Christmas either.  Ben pulled the covers back up on his son and stood to again leave the room.

“If you need anything—the door will be open—you just say that word again I will be right here.”  Ben winked at his son and left the room to go and tell the others of Joe’s very special gift.

 

Doctor Martin closed his medical bag and sighed to himself frustrated.  Walking out of Joe’s bedroom his thoughts were now on what exactly he would say to the young man’s father.  Joe’s progress had slowed over the two months since Christmas, and Paul did not take it as a good sign.  Never being the kind of man to pull any punches or offer false hope, Paul decided he would level with Ben and hope he was strong enough to take the bad news.

“Well?”  Ben asked as Paul took a seat in the living room opposite him.

Paul’s frown said a whole lot, and Ben noticed the familiar set in the man’s shoulders that had always spelled out bad news.  “Ben, I have told you before that I am not an expert in rehabilitation.  I have done my best over the past four months and I have read up on just about all treatments possible to help stroke victims.”

“Out with it.”  Ben replied flatly, even though he didn’t want to hear what was coming next.

“Joe has made some progress, I am not denying that.  He can now move three fingers on his left hand and his facial paralysis is gone.  Even though he can still only utter a couple of words, that was a great accomplishment.  But, I am not at all sure that there will be much more that he will be able to accomplish.  Of course we all had hoped that he could fight back from this—and I am not at all saying that it’s still not possible.  But, he has reached a sort of plateau now and if there is anymore progress it may be months—maybe even years.”  Paul stopped and noticed how his friend’s face seemed to age right in front of him now.

“Are you saying that Joseph may not get any better than he is right now?”  Ben little more than whispered, trying his best to control his emotions.

“I am saying that I am not as optimistic as I was in the past.  But, you know the boy—he has surprised us before.  I want you to continue with his exercises as if we didn’t have this conversation.  The last thing he needs to hear is that this may be all he will ever do.”

“I wrote Doctor Peele again.  Harold is still in Europe but should return to the states soon.  Maybe he could help us?”

“I would welcome the second opinion at this point, Ben.”  Paul smiled and stood, as did his friend.  “I am sure once he’s back in the country he will do his best to think of something that perhaps I have missed.”

Ben patted his friend’s shoulder. “Paul, never think that we haven’t appreciated all you have done for us.  I just thought maybe Harold might have learned something more after attending all of the symposiums in Europe.  Maybe there’s something new that hasn’t reached the states yet.”

“I certainly hope so, Ben.  I’ll still come out here once a week—more if you need me.  Just try to remain optimistic for Joe’s sake.”  Paul shook Ben’s hand and walked to the door to leave.

Ben sat in quiet consternation not knowing what to do.  He wasn’t sure if it was fair to keep the doctor’s opinion from his son.  But, if he did tell Joseph, he knew the boy would completely shut down and stop trying.  Ben was shaken from his thoughts by Hoss, who reached around him and squeezed his shoulder affectionately.

“Pa—I heard what Doc said.  Don’t let it get to you, I think he’s just as frustrated as the rest of us right now.  I know Joe will beat this thing.  Weren’t you the one who always told the three of us about faith?”

Ben looked up through his tear-filled eyes and saw the warmth and caring in his middle son’s face.  He nodded at what Hoss had said.  “Yes—I taught all you boys to always have faith—no matter what.”  He replied.

“Now it’s time to listen to your own lecture, huh?”  Hoss grinned and then watched as his father’s smile returned to his face.

“Yes—I need to listen to my own lectures!  And, I want you to personally remind me any time you think I have  forgotten them.”  Ben stood and hugged his son.

 

That evening Joe had requested to be taken out onto the porch.  He also had asked that he be left alone.  Ben could tell by the way his son looked at him that the boy knew somehow that the doctor’s prognosis had not been encouraging.  Joe sat alone and watched as the sun slowly disappeared behind the tree range.  He felt a part of himself going down along with it.

Ben had given his son plenty of time alone, but the evening was turning colder and he knew better than to let the boy sit outside much longer.  Making his way over to Joe, Ben noticed that he had written a message on his board for him.

it doesn’t look good I know that 

I saw the Doc’s face he didn’t hide it well

So now what do you want me to do 

Keep pretending I will ever get back to what I was

Ben dropped down in the chair next to Joe and put his hand over Joe’s right hand.  “No-one knows for sure, Joseph.  The doctor was just telling me that your progress has just slowed for awhile.  It could pick right back up.  You just have to have a little faith.  I know I have faith in you, Son.  You have always been the most strong-willed of the three of you boys.”

I don’t want to be an invalid

spending day after day

waiting for something that might never happen

Do you have any idea

any of you what this is like 

I can’t even say to you the things I want to say

“You don’t have to, Joseph—I already know.”  Ben whispered.

no you don’t

It’s been four months 

I can say one word right and two that don’t even come out so you can understand them

I feel like I am trapped in a dead body and can’t get out

I wish I could scream

scream at this whole terrible mess 

But I can’t even talk let alone scream

Ben wrapped his arms around his son and held him close.  “Please don’t give up—please keep trying. Because I can promise you that none of us will be giving up on you—not till the day that we see you walk and hear your laughter again.”

take me in Pa it’s cold

The daily regimen continued for weeks that turned into months and as spring approached all of the Cartwrights were mentally exhausted from the care-giving and receiving.  Hoss and Ben had to leave for the day to inspect the herd and ready for spring round-up. Joe was left in Adam’s care, as even Hop Sing had left for a day in town to visit relatives.

“Joe—if you don’t start trying I swear I’m going to let you have it!”  Adam said exasperated over his brother’s lack of help with his exercises.  Joe was being totally belligerent and it was on purpose that he was trying his best to get Adam to leave him alone.

“Ah—dum—” Joe tried again to make his brother’s name come out right.  He then pointed toward his board to write on it.

“Oh—no—you are gonna tell me what you want this time.  I’m not getting you that thing.  I never should have gotten it in the first place!  You can say pa—Hoss and Adam. Let’s hear more.  Stop playing around and try harder!”  Adam spoke a bit more sharply than he meant to and it only fueled the fire that was building up in his little brother. Joe squeezed his eyes tightly together trying to shut Adam out of his sight so maybe he would get mad and leave.

“Okay—so you won’t try anymore to talk?  Then I am throwing away the stupid board!”  Adam warned.  To this remark, Joe opened his eyes again and pointed at his only means of communication. “Go ahead—write one final time before I trash the damn thing.”  Adam said angrily.

hate you leave me alone

Tired, frustrated, angry and hurt by all Joe had put him through that morning, Adam lost his temper and threw the board across the room.  “No, Joe—you don’t hate me—you hate you!  We have all tried to help you and your anger at your injury is misdirected at us. Well, you just sit here awhile—-here’s your water—right where you can reach it.  I am going out for a little while.  If I stay around you much longer I am going to do something I will regret later.”  Adam stormed out the door.

Joe could hear the front door slam and a little while later could hear the thundering hoof beats of Adam’s horse riding away.  Joe listened longer—he could hear the total absence of sound now in the house, he was at last, after almost five months, totally alone in the house.

Throwing back the covers with his strong right hand, Joe carefully started his descent from off his bed.  He had it all thought out by now.  It would be a bit of a fall, but nothing too drastic, he could make it fine.  Joe let his right arm slip off the bed to brace himself for the fall.

Next, Joe pulled his robe off of the chair by the bed and pushed his left arm through the sleeve, followed by his good right arm.  Joe stared at the doorway, happy that his brother had not slammed his door like he had the one down stairs.  It would be an easy path into the hallway with the door being left wide opened.

Dragging himself inch by inch and foot by foot Joe proceeded out of his room and slowly down the long hallway.  By the time he reached the staircase he was a bit winded and he stopped to catch his breath for the long ordeal of challenging the stairs one by one. Chewing at his bottom lip Joe wondered if he would lose control of the good side of his body and fall down the stairs.  He laughed to himself.  Wouldn’t want to get hurt or anything—like that would make a difference at this point.  With a deep breath, Joe started down the stairs, sliding his good side and holding on to the banister rails as he descended.

How long it had taken to reach the bottom landing to the stairs Joe did not know, nor did he care.  He had gotten farther than he ever thought he could.  His eyes sought out his wheelchair and his heart leaped to see it was right across from the coffee table.  Sliding again, inch by inch Joe made it to the table and pulled himself up.  Bracing for the push over to the wheelchair Joe closed his eyes and willed himself onward.  He made it into the chair without it moving on him.

I’m half way there now.  Joe thought to himself as he rolled the chair over to the door and pulled it open.  Pushing out onto the porch Joe kept up the pace, never knowing for sure if Adam would be back at any moment.  He rolled down the ramp and as quickly as he could manage across the front yard and to the opened barn door.

Cochise could feel his master’s presence even before Joe rolled into sight.  The horse pawed at the ground impatiently and snorted to let Joe know he was ready.  Cochise did not have his bridle on, only a lead rope.  Joe reached to the top of the stall and pulled down a horse blanket and let it fall onto his lap.  Then he managed to grab the horse’s bridle hanging on a hook close by.  Joe reached for the horse’s rope and it came undone without much effort.  He knew he had an awful lot to handle, what with getting Cochise outside and being able to lead him and hold the bridle and steer the chair.  Cochise must have read Joe’s mind as he willingly stepped out of his stall and walked slowly just to the outside of the barn.  Joe rolled over to him, a smile danced across his face when he thought of how smart his horse was.  He hoped that the pinto would remember a trick he had taught him or all the effort he had taken to make his way outside would be for nothing.

Joe rolled his wheelchair to the front of his horse.  Looking into Cochise’s eyes Joe made a motion with his good hand.  He pointed with his palm down to the ground.  His horse remembered the sign and kneeled down on all fours.  Joe maneuvered the chair towards the horse’s left side.  He then threw the blanket on his back and rolled closer and managed to get the bridle in the horse’s mouth.  The next part would be the hardest.  Joe had to slide out of his wheelchair just right in order to mount the pinto’s back.  He would have to rely totally on his good right side for balance and Joe fought the little bit of fear that now was creeping into his mind.  I could fall again—and get accidentally trampled—or fall off once we make it out of the yard.  Oh—well—if this is to be my last ride so be it!

And with all of his strength Joe pulled himself out of the chair and onto the pinto’s back.  Holding the reins in his right hand and keeping that same hand right in the middle of Cochise’s backbone Joe patted the horse’s neck and it stood up.

Cochise took it from there.  The horse slowly started moving, never moving too suddenly or wavering.  The horse somehow could sense that his master was injured and he proceeded around the barn and out to the pasture at a slow walk.  Joe felt the air on his face and for the first time in months the feeling of independence as they moved farther away from the ranch house.

 

Adam had seen it first, as he dismounted in front of the ranch house.  There in front of the barn sat the empty wheelchair.  After a hurried inspection of the barn, he rushed into the house fighting back the mounting fear.  He made a quick glance around the living room and then took the stairs two at a time running up to his brother’s room.  Still no sight of his youngest brother.  Adam could not comprehend how Joe had obviously made his way out of the house and out to the barn.

When Adam appeared coming out of the house, he heard the sound of approaching horses.  Ben and Hoss appeared coming around the barn.  Ben spotted the look of panic on his eldest son’s face and quickly dismounted.

“What is it—has something happened to Joseph?”  Ben called over to Adam.

“He’s gone—I don’t know how but he’s gone.”  Was Adam’s anxious reply to his father.

Hoss had seen the wheelchair and rushed into the barn.  When he saw Cochise was missing he ran back out.  “His horse is gone! How in the heck could he have even gotten on Cochise?”

“Where were you, Adam?”  Ben asked and saw Adam’s face pale at the question.

“Pa—-we had an argument—I left him here.  I didn’t know—” Adam stopped as he witnessed the anger on his father’s face now.

“How could you?  You left him here alone!  In his condition!  I just can’t fathom you doing something like this!”  Ben yelled angrily.

“Look!”  Hoss interrupted and pointed toward the barn.  There came both horse and rider.  Joe was back.

Three worried men rushed over to Joe, who looked as though he was having trouble staying on the pinto.  “Joseph!”  Ben boomed and reached up for the errant young man. “How in the devil did you get up there?”  Ben asked forgetting again that he could have no answer from his son. He pulled Joe into his arms and headed for the house followed closely behind by his other two sons.

Ben placed Joe on the settee and felt of his exposed face.  He was cold, very cold and Ben instantly began to place blankets over him.  When he stood back up his hands went instantly onto his hips as he stared back and forth between both Joe and Adam.  “I am so mad at both of you right now I can’t even tell you!  Adam for leaving you—and you for pulling a stunt which could have killed you!”

Hoss looked at the faces of both of his brother’s and felt very glad that he hadn’t been a party to what had happened.  He could tell his father was a powder keg ready to explode.  Hoss poured three shots of brandy and took it over to them all.  He figured it might settle the situation at least for the moment.

Ben hoisted his drink and polished it off in one gulp.  Adam did the same as he tried to come up with an explanation.  He felt awful and understood his father’s wrath at the situation that he had caused.  Joe sipped at his drink and watched his father’s movements.  He was surely going to get an earful now.

“First you—” Ben turned toward Adam. “Why did you leave your brother?  And it better be good.”  Ben warned.

“Pa—we had an argument—that’s all.  Joe didn’t want to do his therapy and it just flat out got me mad.  I didn’t want to lash out at him so I tried to cool off.  I had no idea that he could get out of bed like he did.”

“And what if he needed help?  Did you even think about that?  What if he had gotten hurt—or choked and no-one was here?  I cannot believe you could do this.”

Joe’s hand shot up in protest.  He wanted to have his own say-so but his handicap at the time prevented it.  Ben turned toward his youngest son and addressed him now.

“And you, Joseph Cartwright!  What in the devil were you thinking?  You trying to kill yourself—was that it?  What if you had fallen off of that horse—with no way of calling for help—no weapon to signal for help.  And just look at you—in your night clothes!  You are just inviting pneumonia again!”

“P—pah—” Was all that Joe could get out.  He kept pointing to his room.  He wanted his board—he wanted to explain his actions.

“You’re right, Pa.  I failed Joe miserably.  I am so sorry.”  Adam whispered filled with regret.  Again Joe’s hand shot up in protest.  He needed to be heard.  Hoss read his brother’s thoughts and hurried up the stairs to get what Joe needed.  When he returned, he handed it to Joe and Joe went about trying to explain.

don’t blame Adam—not his fault—it was my fault. I wanted him to leave, I picked a fight just to get him to go. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to see if I had enough strength left to do this.  Get mad at me. But I don’t regret any of it. I am tired of being an invalid.  You all treat me like I am an old man who needs twenty-four hour care.  I am trapped in this house and I am trapped in this body.  If I hadn’t done this would you all even have considered letting me try?

Ben sat down stiffly in his chair.  His initial worry and anger were now gone, and in it’s wake was left the haunting words that Joe had written.  It was true.  None of them would ever have let Joe try something like he had done.  They had gotten so use to the fact that Joe was incapable of many things that they never challenged what he had left in him that he could do.

I am sorry for worrying you. I am sorry for making you mad, Adam.  I know how much you all have given up these past months waiting on me.  But, if I am gonna be like this, you have to let me breathe a little.  Go back to what you all do around here.  There’s a round-up to get going.  There’s horses that need breaking.  I’m sure you have canceled trips and even going into town just because of me.  I need you all to go back to that now.  It’s bad enough that I can’t be with you to do these things.  But, if I have to watch you all living half of a life because of me I’d rather be dead

The board was passed around the room for each Cartwright to read.  As they read Joe’s message they became aware of the thoughts that he had kept hidden for months.  Joe was now resigned to the fact that he may never walk or talk again.  He was trying to free his family from the burdens that he had inadvertently placed on them.

“Hoss—why don’t you and Adam go and tend to the horses?”  Ben asked and gave them both a nod to let them know he was going to try to straighten out their brother’s way of thinking.

When his two other sons had left the room, Ben moved closer to his youngest to talk to him.  Sitting down on the end of the coffee table Ben looked into the sad hazel eyes before him.

“Joseph, maybe we haven’t done all of this right.  We have tried to take care of you—the same as you would for us.  I know that in a way we smothered you.  We almost lost you—and more than once because of your stroke.  You have to understand that.  While I am still angry that you would try such a fool thing like you did today—I can understand it.  You want us to go back to life before your stroke—but that won’t happen until you have fully recovered.  Now you may not think that you will recover—maybe even the doctor doesn’t think so right now.  But, I know you and I have faith in both your ability and also in God’s ability to bring you back to how you were before.”

and if that doesn’t happen

“It will happen.  Now, I will try not to hover too much.  And you are right, we have a whole lot to accomplish around this ranch right now.  But, we can do that and still help you.  You have to continue to try, Joseph.  Do it for yourself—and do it for us.  And, since it seems like you have mastered escaping how about at least letting me know next time?”  Ben broke into a smile that let his son know that he was forgiven for scaring the heck out of him and the others.

it sure felt good being back on Cochise again 

I didn’t think I would ever ride again.

“Well, we will see what we can do about getting you out more, okay?  But, I would suggest something warmer in attire than long-johns and a robe!”

Joe grinned and looked down at what he was wearing.

“I owe your brother an apology.  Since you did admit you started the whole thing, right?”

Yeah I was a real brat

you should have seen him it was kinda funny really

Ben ruffled Joe’s tousled hair and shook his head amused.  Then he turned back into the aggravated stern father again.  “No more stunts like that, you understand?”

Joe pointed his index finger and then said the word again, the one that he knew would put him back in good graces with his father. “Pah—”

“Now—let me see if I can get Adam to speak to me.  You sure know how to stir up trouble, Joseph—injured or not.”  Ben said exasperated but winked at the boy as he stood up.

 

Two weeks after Joe had succeeded in fleeing from the ranch, things were back to their normal routine.  Despite protests, his family yielded to his request to go about their daily routine and not spend as much time hovering over him.  When Saturday rolled around plans had been made to get Joe out of the house and into Virginia City for the first time since his stroke many months ago.

“You excited, Little Brother?”  Hoss asked as he hoisted Joe up into the buckboard.  Joe simply nodded.  He was happy to be getting out but also a little bit scared at being in the public eye.  Joe had insisted on not taking his wheelchair.  He wanted to look as normal as possible and they all had agreed that he would be fine sitting in the seat of the buckboard propped up to help him remain balanced.

Adam mounted his horse as Ben made his way out to the wagon and up along side of his son.  The plan was to arrive in time for Joe to see the annual foot race at the Founder’s Day celebration.  Having won the event many years standing it was going to be hard on Joe this year, and Ben was worried about it’s effect on his son.  Joe had assured his father he was okay with the whole thing and wanted to at least see his friends who would be running in his place.

Ben looked over at Joe and made sure he was secure in his seat then he sent the horses onward towards town.  Hoss and Adam had gone on ahead of them, at the urging of their father.  He wanted them to enjoy the celebration, knowing that they would arrive much earlier than the buckboard.  They had made arrangements to meet at the starting line at two o’clock right before the race would begin.

Joe watched the scenery as they drove slowly towards Virginia City.  It had been such a long time since he had been this far from home that each meadow and stand of trees that they passed seemed to take on a special meaning to him.  He thought back on all of the years he had mounted Cochise and hurried off to be in the race.  With the exception of two years, when for other reasons he couldn’t be at the race, Joe was a favorite to all of the fans who watched the event.  It seemed as though no-one could beat him on foot, and Joe always took pride in that small accomplishment.  Staring down at his useless left leg he wondered if he would ever again walk, let alone run.  Ben saw the look in his son’s eyes, he knew what he was thinking, for he was thinking it himself at the time.  Reaching over, Ben patted Joe’s shoulder.

“You will, Joseph.  You will run again someday.”  He stated quietly and saw Joe’s eyes light up.  Joe struggled to say his next word, but it did finally come out.

“W—walk—”

Ben pulled back on the reins and stopped the buckboard and looked amazed at the singular word and it’s meaning.  “That’s very good, Son.  Walk—yes walk first then you will run.”  Ben smiled and gave Joe a quick hug.  Sending the team again forward, both hearts were now lifted as they headed for town and what seemed like a wonderful day.

The whole town was full of excitement as people from all the neighboring ranches filled the streets.   Booths were set up all over the main street and so many side events were going on that Virginia City took on a carnival like atmosphere.  Ben pulled the wagon to a stop on C Street just in front of the mercantile.  He stepped down and then walked around the buckboard and over to Joe.

“I just have to check on those supplies that I ordered.  I’ll only be a minute or two.”  Ben said and Joe nodded his head.  Joe watched as his father left and then turned his attention on the sights and sounds around him.  Just a couple of minutes later, a large freight wagon pulled up just behind the Cartwright rig.  A very large, rough looking man stepped down from his wagon and walked over to where Joe was sitting in the buckboard.

“Hey—you there!  Move that wagon!  I got freight I need to unload.”  The man bellowed his demands.

Joe looked into the man’s cold eyes and didn’t know what to do.  He couldn’t tell him that there was no way he could slide over and undo the reins and move his team.  He was propped in the seat so carefully that he was just about pinned in.

“Sonny, this is your last chance.  Just don’t sit there looking stupid—move that blasted wagon!”

Joe lifted his right hand in protest and just that one little action angered the man more.  He reached up and grabbed Joe by the collar of his jacket and pulled him out of the wagon, throwing him down on the dusty ground.  Joe winced his eyes closed, waiting for the man’s fist as it reared back.  But, then something had stopped the fist’s progression.  Joe opened his eyes just in time to see Ben Cartwright’s own fist nailing the man under his chin and throwing him backwards towards the stairs that led up to the store.

Ben’s fists flew wildly at the person who had attacked his son.  Joe never remembered having seen his father that angry before.  It was if all hell had broke out and the other man was no match for a father who was trying to protect one of his own.

“Ben!”  Cried the store keeper trying to stop him from killing the other man.  He tried to grab Ben’s arms but Ben fought him off.

“Enough!” Came Roy Coffee’s voice accompanied by a gun firing into the air to break up the commotion.  Ben finally let go and stood up.  He hurried over to Joe and bent down to check to see if he was hurt.

“What exactly is going on here?”  Roy asked the man who still lay on the top steps of the mercantile.  He groaned and sat up, mopping away the blood from the corner of his eye.

“I asked that kid to move his rig and he flat out ignored me—I got mad and tossed him down, that’s when that maniac over there lit into me.  All I did was ask the kid to move—now how’s that my fault?”  He asked standing and looking down at Ben.

“Are you all right, Joseph?”  Ben asked wiping the dirt off the side of his face.  Joe held up his index finger to let his father know he was okay.  The man watched as Joe gave Ben that sign and it was only then that he realized that the boy was unable to speak.  Ben lifted Joe back up into the wagon as the man walked over.

“Oh—geez—I didn’t know the kid was an invalid—and unable to talk—hey—I’m sorry.”

Ben turned around to face the man and with the look of granite in his eyes replied, “You better thank the good Lord that he’s not hurt.  I hope you carry with you always what you have done here today.”  And with that Ben stepped up into the buckboard and sent his team forward.

Ben guided the buckboard into an alleyway at the end of town and stopped.  He reached over and checked Joe over more thoroughly.  Other than a couple of bruises caused by the fall into the street he seemed okay.  Now Ben worried about what the scene had caused Joe emotionally.  “We can go home if you want to, Joseph.”  Ben whispered as Joe’s sad eyes fell upon him.  Joe wished he had his board so he could tell his father what was going on in both his head and his heart at the time.  He struggled to get it out somehow.

“SSS—cared” Joe’s broken word came out.

“Scared?”  Ben asked wondering if he heard right. Joe nodded his head.  “I am sure you were scared, Joe.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Joe shot out two fingers adamantly.  He then pointed to his father and Ben pieced his meaning together.  “You were scared for me?  Is that what you are saying?”

Joe nodded his head and tears filled his eyes.  When he had seen his father fighting the other man he could do nothing but lay there and watch. If something had gone wrong there was no way that Joe could have come to Ben’s defense.  That was what had scared Joe, and Ben was just now starting to understand that.

“Oh—it would have taken more than the likes of him to hurt me.  Are you forgetting who taught you to fight?  I may be old but I am still a mean one to reckon with when angered.”  Ben smiled trying to dismiss Joe’s worry.

Joe closed his right hand into a fist and brought it up to his chest.  Yet another signal to Ben.

“No—Joseph you are wrong there—it wasn’t your fight.  Not this time anyway.  He made it my fight when he threw you out of this wagon.  And it’s my fault for leaving you.  I never should have done that.  I’m so very sorry.”  Ben hugged his son and both of them finally stopped shaking.  Just as always in the past, each had been more worried about the other than themselves.

“Now—you want to go home?”  Ben asked as he saw Joe pushing away the tears from his eyes.

Joe shot out two fingers again and then pointed out towards the street.  Ben grinned at the fire that the boy still possessed.  He knew if Joe could have answered the question in his own voice he would have probably said “hell no—no-one runs a Cartwright out of town”.

“Let’s get over to that race then.”  Ben nodded and sent the horses out onto the street.

Adam and Hoss approached the buckboard as it came to a stop right to the side of the starting line for the annual foot race.

“It’s just about to start—what kept you two?”  Adam asked and noticed the look that passed between Ben and Joe.

“Oh nothing—we just had to take care of some things at the mercantile.”  Ben smiled and draped his arm across Joe’s shoulder.

“Hey, Joe!”  Came a shout from across the street.  Joe looked over and saw two of his friends, Mitch Devlin and Renny Miller.  They strode over to him and each patted his arm.

“We missed you, Joe!”  Mitch said.  “It doesn’t seem right not having you here to run with us.”

“Yeah—Mitch is right.  I thought I could beat you last year and almost had you until that last turn.”  Renny announced and then saw Joe’s face turn away sadly.  Renny walked closer and put his hand on Joe’s knee.  “Hey—we both know you will be back here next year running with us.  As a matter of fact I came over here to challenge you to beat me then!”

Joe looked down at his good friend and patted his shoulder and smiled.  He only wished that he had the faith that quite obviously Renny had in his recovery.

“Yeah—that goes for me, too.  I want to see you out here next year beating the pants off both Renny and me.”  Mitch grinned and Joe nodded to him.  “Well, we best get over to the starting line.”

Joe raised his thumb to wish them good luck and the two men walked away.

“Now you heard that challenge, didn’t you, Joseph? I never remember you turning down a challenge.  It might not be next year, but the day will come when we will see you run again.”  Bens stated firmly and Joe smiled at the faith that his father held in him.

Sam McBride, owner of the Silver Dollar saloon sauntered across from his perch up on the bandstand that had been erected for the event.  He made it over to Joe and smiled broadly at the young man.  “Gee business has sure been slow since you stopped coming by, Little Joe.  I can’t wait until we have you up and around.”  Sam handed Joe the starter’s pistol.  Joe’s eyes questioned what his friend was doing.  “There’s nothing wrong with that right hand of yours..  How about doing the honors? It seems only fitting as you have won this race more times than anyone else in Virginia City.  How about it?”

Joe fumbled with the gun.  It had been a long time since he had held one in either hand.  Realizing it would only take the pull of the trigger once, and that being above his head, to start the race; he both nodded and smiled gratefully towards Sam.

“Good!  Now I am gonna go up to my perch over there and I’ll point to you and then you start the race.”  Sam patted Joe’s shoulder and then walked back over to start the race.

“Looks like an awful lot of people think a whole lot of you, Little Brother.”  Hoss winked and then moved in for a closer view.  Sam readied to begin the race, and pointed over to Joe.  Raising the gun, Joe waited for Sam’s commands.

“Ready—set—” Then Sam pointed to Joe and he shot the gun sending the racers off in a wild fury.  The three Cartwrights cheered on the runners and Joe squinted to see them charge to the end of town.  They circled the town once and then headed back toward the finish line.  This year belonged to Renny Miller, and everyone cheered as he made it there first.  The town’s folks gathered around him and Sam brought over a blue ribbon and secured it to the young man’s shirt.

“The winner!”  Sam bellowed out and everyone applauded.  Joe slapped his knee with his right hand trying to send a message for himself to his friend.  After enjoying a few moments in the spotlight, Renny made his way back over to his friend.

“Looks like this year this ribbon is mine.  But, next year I expect to see you wearing it.”

Joe smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder.  He wished he could congratulate Renny verbally, but Renny could read it in Joe’s eyes.

“See you later, Joe.  Mitch owes me a beer and I have to get it from him before he spends his money on that kissing booth over there!”  Renny laughed and waving goodbye walked down the street.

 

“Well—Joe Cartwright!  It’s about time I get a chance to talk to you.”  Came a voice from behind the buckboard.  Coming around them all was Reverend Hastings.

Joe smiled and held out his hand to greet his friend.  The other Cartwrights also greeted the pastor of their church.  “I have come to commandeer this wagon.  So, if the three of you will allow me to do so—I believe you look like you all could use some liquid refreshments. Oh—don’t worry— I won’t watch if you plan to go into that saloon over there!”  The Reverend laughed and Ben stepped down, giving up his seat next to Joe.  He knew the man wanted to have a few words with Joe, and had been asking for a chance for months.  Ben felt like it was a good idea at the time, as he knew Joe needed as much encouragement as he could get.

Climbing up into the wagon, the Reverend Hastings smiled down at the others. “We are just going to go down by the church and have a little talk.  You can join us once you have tended to your thirst.”  He said and sent the team forward.

“You reckon what the Rev is gonna say to Joe, Pa?”  Hoss asked as they neared the Silver Dollar.

“Whatever it is, Hoss.  Joe needs to hear it I’m sure.”  Ben put an arm around each of his son’s shoulders and grinned at them both.  “Now—which one of you fine young men are going to buy their father a beer?”

“Adam’s got all the money, Pa. I done spent mine on some of the attractions around here.”

“Yeah—he sure did.  I don’t know which booth he spent more at—the pie one or the kissing one.”  Adam laughed and Hoss’s face flushed with embarrassment.

“Well—I’ll tell you what.  We will let Adam buy the first round, and I will cough up the money for the second round.”  Ben agreed.

“And the third one?”  Hoss asked.

“There won’t be a third round.  We have to show up sober in order to retrieve your little brother, remember?” Ben laughed at the thought and then pushed open the swinging doors to the saloon.

Reverend Hastings pulled the team to a halt in front of his church.  “Do you want me to bring you inside, Joe?”  He asked and Joe shook his head.  He did not want to be seen being carried into the church.  His pride was one thing that he had not totally lost.

“That’s fine.  We can sit here and talk just as well.  I sure have been missing your presence every Sunday I’ll have to admit.  I’ve talked to your father quite a few times these past several months.  I wanted to visit you, but he wasn’t sure if you’d see me or anyone else.  I believe that it’s times like these that we need all the support we can get in order to move forward.  You know you have a whole lot of people who care for you.  Me for one.”  He said and looked directly into Joe’s eyes.  What he saw in them was a deep sadness and it worried the Reverend.  “I wasn’t trying to turn this into a lecture, Joe.  I’m sorry if it came off that way.”

Joe shook his head “no” and wished again that he could explain his thoughts and fears of what had happened to him and what was ahead for him in the future.

“I have something for you.”  Reverend Hastings reached into his pocket and placed something in Joe’s right hand.  Joe looked at it.  Inside a clear glass circle was a small yellow bead.  “Do you know what that is?”  He continued and Joe once again shook his head “no”.

“What you have there, is a mustard seed.  Very small isn’t it?”

Joe nodded his reply and his face took on a questioning look.

“Well, you know me—have to quote the Bible to get your attention.  There is a verse that goes something like this—

“If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall be moved; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” 

Imagine that will you?  Just the size of that small seed in your hand now!  You just need that much faith and you can move mountains. Or—in your case be made whole again.”

Joe stared down again at the seed and then looked back up somewhat astonished at the thought of it all.  “Do you think you have that much faith left in you, Joe?”  The Reverend asked earnestly.

Joe sighed to himself and then turned pensive for a few moments.  At last he looked directly into the pastor’s eyes and nodded his head.  “I think so too.  And this is not without a great deal of effort on your part.  But if you supply the faith, God will help you with all of the rest.”

Joe’s smile lit up his face.  It seemed like a whole lot of people that day had shared their faith in him.  Now, it was Joe who had to supply some faith in himself and in God’s ability to do the impossible and heal him completely.  Joe reached over and squeezed the reverend’s hand to thank him.  Then he placed the mustard seed into the pocket of his jacket just over his heart.

A few minutes later they heard the sounds of the other Cartwrights approaching and Reverend Hastings politely gave up his seat to return it to Ben.

“Have a nice visit?”  Ben asked the reverend.

Winking over to Joe the pastor smiled and nodded.  “Yes, we had a good conversation.  I will see you all soon I hope?”

“Indeed you will.”  Ben smiled gratefully to the pastor and shook his hand.  Then he sent the buckboard forward to return to the Ponderosa.

 

The two horses and buckboard returned to the ranch house before dark.  As they reined both horses and wagon to a stop in the front yard all eyes went to a rig that was pulled up at the front hitching post.

“Who’s rig is that, Pa?”  Hoss asked dismounting first.

“I have no idea.”  Ben replied and stepped down from the buckboard and approached the vacant carriage.

“Where’s the big welcome that I usually get?”  Came a voice from behind the shadows of the front porch.  Stepping down into sight was Doctor Harold Peele.

“Harold!” Ben exclaimed, elated to see the man.  He hurried over to him and shook his hand briskly.

“Hi, Uncle!”  Adam smiled and shook the man’s hand himself.

“Haven’t laid eyes on you for over a year!”  Came Hoss’ voice as he made it to the porch.

“Yes—it’s been too long.  Far too long.”  Harold shook Hoss’ outreached hand and then shot a glance over to the young man who sat alone in the buckboard.  Harold crossed the yard in long strides and when he got to Joe he had to fight off tears that were building up in his own eyes.

“Joseph!  What have you gotten yourself into now?”  He grinned and gathered him down and into his arms.  Joe just gave a sheepish grin and knew that it would seem to Harold that the only times they were together were times that Joe was struggling through a crisis of some kind.  “Now didn’t I tell you when I was here last that I wanted at least one visit out here without a major health crisis?”  He chastised as he carried Joe into the house and over to the settee.  The other three Cartwrights followed the doctor inside and stood next to him as he looked down at Joe.

“How about some brandy, Harold?  Or some coffee?”  Ben offered.

“Hop Sing has already taken care of me in that area.  He welcomed me heartily and fixed me a late lunch.  I got into Carson City and rented that carriage to get here as soon as possible.”

Harold sat down in a chair next to the sofa.  “I finally got all of your messages, Ben.  I tried to get here as soon as I could.  But, as you know, travel from Europe takes awhile.  Then the other medical conventions I had to attend back east—well, I just wish I could have gotten here sooner.”

“We are just happy you are here.  I know you have to be tired—” Ben started but Harold cut him off.

“Nonsense. I had a nap in the stagecoach.  Now, I want to hear everything about this accident prone young man.  Let’s see what has happened so we can figure out where we will go from here.”

Ben settled back and took great lengths to describe everything that had happened from the morning Joe woke up after having suffered his stroke all the way through to the trouble that they had encountered in Virginia City that day.  Harold listened patiently and made mental notes on all that Ben had described.

Harold reached over and put his hand on Joe’s shoulder for comfort.  “Young Man, you have really been through the mill this time haven’t you?”

Joe nodded adamantly.  He sure had.

“Well, who will do the honors of carrying Joe up to his room so I can examine him?  I would do it myself, but those stairs don’t look too friendly to my sore back right now.”

“I got him.”  Hoss announced and picked Joe up like he was a feather pillow.  Harold grabbed his medical bag and walked up the stairs with both Ben and Adam.

Hoss gently placed Joe on his bed and eased him back onto the pillows.  He then stood back to give the doctor some room.  Harold started with Joe’s good side, checking his pulse as well as his reflexes.  He noted that everything seemed to be fine with that side.  Next he moved to the other side of the bed.  He pulled off Joe’s boot and sock and then began his needle prick test from the heel up to Joe’s kneecap.  Harold did not speak during his examination, but every so often he would mutter an “uh hum”.  All eyes were on him as he progressed up Joe’s body to his arm.

“Squeeze my hand.”  Harold said holding Joe’s left hand in his own.  Three fingers slightly obeyed the command, though they were weak.  “Try again.”  Harold insisted and Joe tried once more.  The same results were both seen and felt.  Harold then walked over to close the curtains to cast darkness into the room.  “Pass me that light, Ben.”  He asked and Ben was quick to bring it to the doctor.  “Close both of your eyes, Joe.  Don’t open them at once.  First open your right eye.”  Joe obeyed and the doctor flashed the light past his right eye.  “Okay now shut the right eye again and open your left eye.”  Joe opened his left eye and the doctor repeated the flash of light.

“Is your vision clear to you in that left eye, Joseph?”  He asked and Joe made a sign with his right hand which signaled that it was a little bit different.  Next, Harold felt of the boy’s face.  “All feeling back—just like before?”  He asked and Joe nodded.  “Now about you talking.  Let’s hear something.  Show me what you’ve got.”  Harold reached under Joe’s chin and felt lightly against his neck.

“P—ah.  H—ss.  Ad dum.” Joe slowly spoke.

“He said a word or two to me today.”  Ben offered and Harold turned back to Joe.

“Well, I believe we can get you talking, not much doubt about it.  But, it will take a whole lot of effort on your part, Joseph.” Harold patted Joe’ shoulder.  Joe’s right hand pointed over to his leg, and his concern that it had no feeling.  Harold could see the intensity in the green pleading eyes that looked up at him.

“Your hand has started to come back, it’s a signal to me that your whole side has a good chance of coming back, too.”  Harold replied to Joe’s motion and then he walked around the bed and looked over at Ben.  “I think this young man could use a bit of a rest now.  He’s had a big day out and we don’t want to tire him. Let’s give him some peace and quiet.”

 

“I’ll help get him ready for bed.” Hoss offered and reached into the bureau for Joe’s night clothes.

“Thanks, Son.”  Ben nodded.  “Joseph, you do as your uncle said now.  You get some rest.”  Ben called over to him.  Joe frowned at the thought of having to rest, but finally nodded his acceptance.

“I’ll be in to talk to you later tonight, Joseph.”  Harold smiled and walked out of the room with Ben and Adam.

“Well?” Ben asked as he handed Harold some brandy.  Harold sank back against his chair and thought for a few moments before responding.

“I think you all have done a wonderful job with the boy.  You know I think very highly of Doctor Martin too.  The exercises you have done with Joe were correct ones.  He would not be this far into his recovery if it wasn’t for your gentle care of him.”  Harold replied but stopped abruptly and Ben caught on the way Harold had ended his statement.

“I think I hear a bit of a “but” in your statement.  C’mon, Harold, give it to me straight.”  Ben insisted.

“He needs to be where he can get the very best therapy.  I know you are not going to like this, but you know how I feel about the boy.  It’s never been just the fact that I can’t look at Joseph without thinking of Daniel.  But, it does make it hit home when something happens to Joe.  If it were Daniel, I would want the best care he could get to speed his recovery.”

“You mean a hospital, right?”  Ben fought with the words.

“In the new wing, that you so graciously gave funds for, we have a complete section that deals solely with recovery for stroke and back injury patients.  There, Joe would get the best care plus the very best therapy in the country.  One of my purposes for going to Europe was to catch up on some of the techniques that they are doing over there.  I am bringing back a whole lot of information focusing on just this kind of ailment.  I believe, given time, we could bring Joe back close to the way he was before his stroke.”

Ben stood and turned his back on Harold.  So many images filled his worried mind.  He remembered the long absence a few years prior that had been almost unbearable to deal with.  Ben had sworn to himself after that, that he would never allow an absence of that kind of length to happen between him and his youngest son.  Now here was Harold suggesting the very thing that had almost severed Ben and Joe’s relationship in the past.

“Ben—I know what you are standing there thinking—and you are wrong.  This isn’t the same situation.  You can come and visit Joseph any time you want to.  I’m sure you can understand that I can’t give you a guess how long Joe’s progress will take.  But, I can assure you that it will be much faster than what you can do for him here.”  Harold said as he placed a comforting hand on Ben’s sagging shoulder.

“Can you—can you tell me that Joe will recover?” Ben asked fighting back his emotions.

“I can tell you that this is his best chance.  No, I can’t promise you or Joe that I can bring him back like he was.  I’ll do everything I can—I think you know that.  But, the decision is yours.  You are his father.”

“I have to ask Joseph what he wants to do.  I can’t make this type of decision.  He’s the one who is laying up there unable to talk—unable to walk and do all the things that made him Joe.  It will be his choice.”  Ben paused and then fought to bring a smile to his face as he looked compassionately at Harold.  “I know you see Daniel when you look at Joseph.  I don’t mind that —you should know that by now.  It’s knowing how much you care for him that reassures me that you will do everything you can.  I don’t want Joe to leave.  I am selfish in that respect.  But, I don’t want to see him pass up the chance to feel whole again.  As long as I can visit him—as far as I am concerned if he is in your hands he stands the best chance.”

“Do you want to talk to him tonight, Ben?”

“After dinner you go and talk to him.  Then, once he knows, I will talk to him to see what he wants to do.”

“Cheer up my brother!  We are on the way to getting that perpetual motion machine back on his feet!”  Harold smiled and Ben laughed at the thought of seeing his son running down the stairs and vaulting back up on Cochise.

Harold had a long talk with Joe that night.  He told him of his hopes and of the plans they would make, should Joe decide to go to San Francisco.  Joe listened intently to it all.  Harold finished his talk and bid Joe a fond goodnight and left the room.  Joe laid in his bed for a long while staring up at the ceiling and wondering if leaving was the right thing to do.  He thought on how it would finally relieve his family of long hours of waiting on him.  He hated to see them wasting their time.  But, more so, he could feel their sense of discouragement as he made so little progress toward getting better.

Joe reached over to his night stand and took in his hand the mustard seed that the pastor had given him that day.  Maybe it all was for a reason, the talk with Reverend Hastings having come on the same day that his uncle had arrived.  He wondered if it was a sign from God that he needed to put his faith to the test now.  Joe felt in his heart that he needed to go and try.  Not just for his sake, but for the family’s sake as well.  It was at that moment that Ben appeared coming in the door.

“Still awake?”  Ben whispered as he approached the bed.

“Pah—” Joe signaled for his father to come over and sit on the bed next to him.

Ben sat back against the headboard and draped his arm over Joe’s shoulder. He pulled him over to him so that Joe’s head rested on his shoulder.  Ben could already feel in his heart what Joe’s decision would be.  “It’s been a rather exciting day hasn’t it?”  He asked and Joe put his index finger into his father’s palm.  “You’ve talked with your uncle.  What do you think—you want to give it a try?”

In response Joe handed his father the mustard seed.  “What’s this?”  Ben asked and held it over to the light.  Joe pointed toward his board and Ben handed it over to him.

The Rev gave it to me.  It’s a mustard seed. He says that if I have faith even the size of that little seed that I can move mountains

Ben smiled, “He’s right of course.  So—do you have that much faith, Joseph?”

I think so, Pa.  I’m scared, scared to leave and scared to stay.  But, if I am ever gonna get better I have to take this chance

Ben put the board back down and pulled Joe closer to him. “Then that is what you should do, Joseph.  You know I will hate to see you go.  But, it won’t be like it was that other time, I promise you.  I will visit you often.  And no matter how long it takes, as long as it’s to get you well again, I’m in full agreement with your decision. You know I have faith too.”

Joe brought his hand up to his father’s chest and looked into his eyes.  Ben knew what he was saying.  “I love you too.”  Ben whispered and held onto his son until he fell asleep.

There was a  rather somber gathering two days later at the Virginia City stageline.  Wanting to get a quick start on Joe’s therapy, Doctor Peele had purchased the tickets back to San Francisco.

“I hope you don’t give the nurses any of the fight that you gave me, Joe.”  Adam smiled and patted his brother’s shoulder.  “We’ll be waiting for you—hurry home.”  Adam walked away giving Hoss his chance for goodbye.  “Short Shanks, I’ll exercise Cochise while you’re gone.  I expect you to be riding him again when you come back.”  Hoss hugged Joe and walked away misty eyed.  Ben was next.

“Well, Joseph, I think that stage is about ready.  I’m going to write you every week and I want to hear of some progress real quick, you hear?”  Joe nodded as Ben lifted him out of his wheelchair and up to the seat in the stagecoach.

“Pah—” Joe said and waved goodbye.  Harold shook hands with the three Cartwrights and turned to look into Ben’s sad eyes.

“I’ll take good care of him. I’ll write as soon as he gets settled.”  Harold clapped Ben on the back and then took his own place inside the stagecoach.  The team was sent forward and the Cartwrights all waved goodbye as it pulled away.

“Let’s go home, Boys.  We have a cattle drive to get to.”  Ben said trying to sound stoic, even though a part of him was aching for his youngest son.

“Shucks—Pa!  Joe will be back soon.  You know he hates them Dad Gum hospitals.” Hoss tried to cheer his father as they walked toward the three horses.

 

Four months passed slowly for Ben Cartwright.  He received frequent updates on how Joe was doing, but it wasn’t the same as seeing the boy with his own eyes.  At last came the opportunity for a trip to San Francisco.  Ben jumped at the chance to complete a business deal along with the extra bonus of seeing Joe.

Joe was in his wheelchair sitting by himself in the solarium of the therapy wing of the hospital.  He was doing some exercises with his left hand when he felt someone behind him and a quick squeeze to his shoulder.  He looked behind him to see the smiling face of his father.

“Pah!”  Joe called out and was given a hug like no other.

Ben sat down opposite Joe and gazed at him lovingly.  He had missed that smile, that twinkle in the boy’s eyes.  He just flat out missed the whole package that was his youngest son.  “How have you been, Joseph?  I have gotten some really good reports about you.”

“I—fffine—better .”  Joe slowly spoke out.

“Very good, Joe!”  Ben exclaimed.  “You are talking real well now.”

“I still —not too—ggood with talk.”

“You are making sentences.  When you left you could only say a couple of words.  I would say that is much better myself.”  Ben corrected.

“How—H—oss Ad dum?”

“They are fine.  We had the best cattle drive ever.  Got the top dollar from the Saint Louis shippers too.  They miss you though.  I guess it’s kinda dull without you to pester them.”  Ben laughed.

“Miss—them—miss you.”  Joe nodded and then looked down at his left hand and pointed with his right one.  “You see?  Look.”  Joe one by one moved each of his fingers and then made a sort of semi fist.  “They move now.”  Joe smiled at his achievement.

Ben reached over and grabbed Joe’s hand.  “Squeeze my hand.”  He said.  Slowly the fingers wrapped around the large hand.  It wasn’t a strong squeeze, but it was a squeeze none the less and Ben marveled at it.  “I am so thrilled with what you have done, Joe.  Now—how about that leg?  You feel anything yet?”

Joe frowned and hit his left leg with his right fist angrily.  “Dead.”  Joe muttered.

“Now don’t you dare say that!  What happened to that mustard seed?”  Ben chided.

“I—not quit—pah—don’t wworrrry.”

“That’s my boy!” Ben grinned.  “Now, I have asked Harold and he said he will join you and me for dinner.  We are going to a very fancy restaurant on the bay.  So, let’s get you all dressed up, okay?”

“No—sss” Joe stopped and tried again.” No—suit.”  He got out.

“Oh yes you do.  I brought one from home.  Now, let me take you to your room.”  Ben said heading behind the wheelchair.

“No—I do it—Doc says—I do it to get —-strong.”  Joe argued.

Ben laughed at Joe’s independence.  “Why of course, Joseph. You go ahead, I’ll follow you.”  Joe smiled and slowly rolled both wheels of the chair down the hall.  Ben looked ahead and was so grateful to see that Joe the had use of both of his hands now.

Ben spent a very happy four days with both his son and Harold, but he had to return home.  He reluctantly bid his son a fond goodbye and spoke to Harold on the side before he got on the stage for Virginia City.

“You’ve done a wonderful job, Harold.  I know I’ve told you many times this week but wanted to say it again.”

“I couldn’t have gotten this far in his progress if it wasn’t for his stubbornness.  And we both know who he gets that from.”  Harold laughed and Ben knew he had been referring to none other that Joe’s own father.

“I guess you are right in that, Harold.  You let me know how he is coming along.  I know we can’t rush this.”

“Give me some more time.  I think we can get that leg working soon.  His left hand is coming along fine, so that is a good sign.”

“Thanks—for everything.”  Ben shook the other man’s hand and then waved goodbye.

“I’ll be in touch!”  Harold called as the stage pulled away.

 

The Ponderosa required much attention in all of her various ventures.  All three Cartwrights had gotten back into the normal swing of things, even though their thoughts always found their way back to the boy who was recovering in San Francisco.   Adam and Hoss both had their turn to visit their brother in the fall and his progress continued to be good.  Having patience was the hardest thing for both the three who were on the ranch as well as Joe working hard in San Francisco to get better.

Ben sat at his desk and opened a letter from the hospital.  He was surprised to find it had been written by Joe this time.  A broad smile creased his face as he called over to Hoss and Adam.  “Hey—Joe wrote this!  Can you believe he is able to write now?”

Hoss and Adam made their way over to their father anxious to see what the letter contained.  “Read it, Pa!” Hoss said with excitement in his voice.

Dear Pa,

I hope you can read this.  It is a bit like chicken scratch I am afraid.  But, you know I never could write too good.  I have been practicing a whole lot.  My hand is still kinda weak but is getting better each day.  I talk a little better now too—at least you can understand what I am trying to say when I speak now.

I got good news for you.  I can feel parts of my leg and can move a couple of the toes on my left foot.  I had almost given up on that.  Doc says it will still take a long time, but at least I know the leg isn’t really dead. My hand is getting tired so I will close.

Tell Hoss, Adam and Hop Sing that I miss them.

But, I miss you most.

Love, Joe

“Yes!”  Hoss yelled.  “Joe’s gonna get that leg back—I knew he would!”

“When do you think he can come home, Pa?  Adam asked and took the letter to read himself.

“Hold on now—the both of you.  He’s just starting to get feeling in that leg of his.  We can’t rush it now.  You know there was a time not too long ago when we thought he would never get better. Harold will know when it’s time to send him home to us. But, I have to admit that letter there is a great sign.”

“Hey—looks like his regular writing to me, Pa.”  Hoss laughed. “He wasn’t lying when he said he never wrote well to begin with.”

Ben laughed and Hoss handed him back the letter after he had his turn to look at it.  Ben held it in his hands and it was almost like holding his son for a moment.  At last they all truly believed Joe would completely recover.

Hoss brought in the Christmas tree and set it over in the corner of the room.  “How’s that?”  He asked Adam.

“Fine.  You know this is gonna be a tough one on all of us.  Pa doesn’t seem much in the Christmas spirit with Joe still gone.”  Adam said and helped his brother straighten the tree.

“He got another one of those letters from Joe the other day.  He didn’t show it to us because Joe let him know he wouldn’t be home for Christmas.  I found it on his desk and read it anyway.  I just don’t understand it.  Joe got the feeling back in his leg two months ago.  You’d think he would be about ready to come home.”

Adam sat down on the settee and poured his brother some coffee.  Hoss accepted it and sat down too.  “Yeah, I kinda thought that the kid would make it home for Christmas.  We just have to do what we can to cheer Pa.”

The front door of the ranch sprung open and Ben walked in.  “Merry Christmas!”  He boomed.  Both sons stared over at their father.  It was a week before Christmas.  They wondered if their father had lost track of time.

“It ain’t Christmas yet, Pa.”  Hoss called over to him and Ben laughed.

“Oh yes it is!”  Ben replied and held a letter up over his head.  “This just came from Harold.  You boys want to hear it?”

Both sons shot to their feet, knowing it had to be good news or their father wouldn’t be so excited.  “Yeah!”  Adam shot back and Ben neared the two men.

Dear Ben,

I have a Christmas present for you that should be arriving on the nineteenth of this month.  It is a little under six feet tall, has curly brown hair and bright green eyes.  That’s right! Joseph is on his way home.  I wish I could be there to see the great reunion but I have a little surprise waiting here. 

Ben, I met a woman and we have fallen in love.  Imagine at my age?  She is beautiful both inside and out, her name is Carol.  We are spending this first Christmas together and I am hopeful that there will be a wedding you will have to come to very soon. Now back to your surprise! 

Joseph had done remarkably well.  Though he is not totally healed, I would say he is about at eighty per cent now.  He is a bit discouraged about some things, but all and all I believe you will be pleased in what he has accomplished. I know I am.  Be patient with him. 

Have a wonderful Christmas.  My best wishes to Adam and Hoss—oh and of course my favorite cook Hop Sing. 

With Love ,

Your Brother Harold.”

 

 

“Let’s get that tree ready!”  Hoss exclaimed filled with renewed spirit.

“Oh—and we’re gonna have to go into town and get Joe some gifts—I think his went out on the stage today.”  Adam remarked.

“No they didn’t.  I fortunately was reading this letter before the stage pulled out.  They are out in the buckboard.  Let me go tell Hop Sing the good news.  I am sure he wants to fix a special dinner for Joe.  He will be here tomorrow!”  Ben clapped each of his sons on the back and then hurried into the kitchen.

“You ever see Pa that happy?”  Hoss grinned over at his brother.

“Nope—he looks like a kid who got just what he wanted for Christmas.  Now let’s get on with this tree business!”

Ben sat in the buckboard outside of the stage office the next afternoon.  Hoss and Adam leaned up against the posts in front of the ticket booth and waited.  Finally, an hour late, the stagecoach appeared in the distance.  Adam walked over to the buckboard and lifted out the wheelchair and took it over to the street where the stagecoach would be arriving.  Ben hopped down from the wagon and anxiously approached the coming stage.

Several people disembarked before they caught sight of Joe.  Adam reached up into the stagecoach to lift Joe out and put him into the wheelchair.

“No, Adam.  Think I can do this.”  Joe called down to him.  Adam stepped back as Joe took a couple precarious steps down out of the stagecoach.

“Hand it down!”  Joe called up to the driver and he handed down a cane.  Joe then turned and looked down at the wheelchair and then up at his father.  “Hey—somebody need a wheelchair around here?”  He grinned.

Ben and his other sons stood speechless as Joe walked slowly toward them leaning heavily on his cane.  “Joseph!  You are walking!”  Ben boomed out.  “Harold didn’t say you could walk!”

Joe winked and grinned at his father.  “We wanted to surprise you.”

Ben hugged Joe hard and Joe was almost knocked off balance.  He felt Hoss and Adam’s arms go around his shoulder as they welcomed their brother back home.

“Okay—okay- not too good with balance just yet so don’t knock me down!”  Joe laughed.

“Let’s get you over to the wagon.  Hoss why don’t you take that chair over to Doc Martin’s maybe he knows someone who can use it.”  Ben said relieved to know that Joe didn’t need it any longer.

“Right, Pa.  See you at home!”  Hoss called and lifted up the wheelchair.

“I’ll be home in a little while too.”  Adam smiled, giving both father and son time to be alone after such a long absence.

Ben maintained a slow walk as he paced himself along with Joe.  Still not faltering, Joe was glad to reach the buckboard and slowly made it up to the seat.  Ben got up along side of him and sent the horses forward towards the Ponderosa.

“I can’t believe it, Joseph—I can’t believe all you have done.”  Ben said proudly.

Joe looked over at his father and sighed.  “I’m not all healed—Pa— I I stutter a lot more.  I still don’t talk like I did. I have to think about each word before I say it so it seems like I am either dumb or cautious.”

“Joe—I always told you to think before you speak.  I really don’t think the fact that you talk slow is a bad thing.  I just thank God that you can talk as well as you do.”

“My leg.  It is still not all there.  There’s parts that are still numb.  But, I can stand on it longer and if I am careful I don’t fall.”

Ben pulled the reins and stopped the progress of the buckboard.  He stared over at his son concerned.  It seemed like Joe was apologizing for not coming back perfect.  “Joseph—why are you telling me these things?”  He asked quietly.

Joe hung his head and sadness took over his countenance.  “I wanted to come home normal, Pa.  I have tried so—so hard.”  Joe began to stutter and stopped talking.

Ben turned Joe’s face to get full eye contact with his son. “Now, Joseph—what in the world ever gave you the idea that you were EVER normal?”  He smiled.

Joe laughed.  It wasn’t the quirky laugh that he had always cut loose with in the past, but it was a laugh and it thrilled his father to hear it.  “Yyy ou are right—Pa—III never was normal.”

“Okay then!”  Ben said and ruffled the boy’s head of curls.  “But, as far as what you have accomplished—I am so very proud I could bust my buttons off this shirt.  You have done an incredible job.  And don’t think I don’t know how much work and pain it has taken you to get this far.”

“Pa—right now—even if I can nnnever wwalk without a cane—I will be happy.  Faith helped me get to where II am now. It’s good to be back. III missed you.”  Joe hugged his father this time and Ben held on.  It was a moment in time they would both always remember.

Pulling up in front of the house, Ben helped Joe out of the buckboard.  “Let’s go get you inside. You have to be exhausted from the trip.”

“In a minute—-got to see Cochise.”  Joe insisted and, cane in hand, made his way over to the barn.  Ben removed the baggage from the wagon and took them into the house.  By the time he had returned outside he was met with the vision of Joe up in the saddle prancing his horse around the yard.

“Now, Joseph!”  Ben called moving closer.  “Are you supposed to be doing that?”

“I figured I had better before I give you the letter from Harold.  It has my orders in it, and I wasn’t sure if there was something in there about riding.  Didn’t want to take a chance.”  Joe rode over to his father and drew out the letter from Doctor Peele.  Ben shook his head.  The disobedient son was definately back and up to the same old tricks.  Ben scanned the letter and then called out.  “Oh—Joseph—it says here he told you no riding for awhile.  So get down!”  Ben’s voice was commanding now.

“Shucks—should have done to that letter what I used to do with my report cards.”

“Oh—and just what was that?”  Ben asked suspiciously.

“Alter them.  You don’t really think I passed all of those classes now do you, Pa?”  Joe laughed and carefully dismounted.

“Oh is that so?  Maybe I should talk to you about some days of restriction, Little Joe.”  Ben teased.  Joe brought his cane down from Cochise and walked over to his father smiling.

“Oh no you don’t—the statute of limitations has run out on all my past dishonesty.” Joe laughed and threw his arm around his father.  “Hey—what was life like without me to amuse you, Pa?”  He asked as they made their way into the house.

“Quiet, Joseph—very quiet!”  Ben sighed, trying to hide his amusement.

Once inside, Joe couldn’t make it over to the settee before Hop Sing was out there to greet him.  A fast long sentence in Chinese and then the arms went around Joe.

“Glad to see you too!”  Joe laughed and the cook smiled at him.

“Best supper ready for you soon!  Look like you all back like Hop Sing knew you would be!”  Hop Sing said with excitement in his broken English.

“Just about, Hop Sing.”  Joe nodded and then made his way over to the settee.  It was then that his eyes fell on the Christmas tree.  Joe closed his eyes and recalled the previous Christmas.  He remembered it like it had just been a day ago.  Thinking back to his gifts, he now remembered the faith his family had in him that he would be walking by this Christmas.

“That’s the best looking tree I’ve ever seen. Pa.”  Joe whispered.

“And it’s going to be the best Christmas ever, too, Son.  Just having you back—like you are has already been my best present ever.”

Joe leaned back against the settee and tried to stretch out, but the coffee table blocked his legs.

“Go ahead—just this one time.  I will refrain from yelling.”  Ben called over to Joe.

Slowly, Joe brought up his legs and planted both feet on the coffee table.

“You must be awfully glad to see me.”  Joe smiled, triumphant that at last he could do what he always wanted to do.  Rest his feet on the off-limits coffee table.  He was soon fast asleep.  Ben walked over and placed the Indian blanket over his son. “I am, Joseph.”  He whispered his response.

It had turned out just as Ben had said it would.  It was the best Christmas ever.  So glad that they were at last all together now, each Cartwright valued that more than the beautiful decorations, the wonderful food not to mention all of the presents.  It was the beginning of things at the ranch going back to normal now.  It had been an extremely grueling year and through the efforts of all those who loved him, Joe had come back almost as he had been before.  He knew he still had some limitations, but refused to let that stop him.  It didn’t take long for him to get his own way.

 

After the winter had passed and the snows were all gone, Joe had been allowed to ride his horse. He was not the hasty young man that he had been before.  He could no longer vault up into the saddle, but instead, slowly mounted.  Joe knew he had a long road ahead still but his faith held tight.  His speech became a bit more spontaneous, and his stuttering did not stop him from having his say so.  There still were times when Joe’s leg would almost seem useless.  But, he would do his exercises and deal with it.

Many times he would not let on to the others how bad his leg was and simply waited for a better day.  He also practiced every day with his Colt revolver and had almost gotten the hang of the fancy twirling of it.  His left hand continued to improve until it was almost to the strength that it had been before his stroke.

Spring arrived and so did the annual Founder’s Day celebration. This year, instead of the buckboard, Joe rode into town alongside his father and brothers.  They dismounted in front of the saloon.

“Well, Joseph.  You want to go down to the mercantile and see if you can find your friend?”  Ben teased.

“Well, Pa—to tell you the truth I’d much rather you go and have another round with him—I mean since you did it so well!”

“Hey—that race is gonna be held at noon!” Hoss called over to Joe after reading the list of events.  “That don’t give us long to get over there and see who’s running this year.”

“Yeah, let’s go see.”  Joe nodded and they all walked down to the starting line.  There was Mitch as always and Renny too.  And about a dozen other runners.

“Hey, Pa.  I gotta talk to Sam for a minute.”  Joe said and made his way up the steps to the bandstand.  After a couple of minutes Joe made his way back to his father and brothers, a big grin on his face.

“What—you gonna start the race again this year?”  Adam asked.

“No—here.”  Joe handed his cane over to his father.

“Oh no you’re not!”  Ben protested seeing the look on Joe’s face and knowing what he was about to do.

“Oh—c’mon, Pa.  I’ve got this!”  Joe took out the mustard seed from his pocket and showed it to his father.

“You can just barely walk!  How are you gonna run?”  Ben asked his anger mounting with worry over Joe getting hurt.

“How will I run?”  Joe said amused at the question.  “Pretty awful probably.  But, remember what you said last year?  You said you never remembered me turning down a challenge!”  Joe laughed and without another word limped over to the starting line.

“Hey, Joe!  You running with us?”  Renny asked full of excitement.

“Yeah—figured you and Mitch here needed some real competition.”  Joe winked over at him.

“On your mark—” Sam called.

“This is crazy!” Ben said to his two sons.

“No—it’s just Joe.”  Adam replied.

“Get set!”  Sam called again.

Joe turned and waved toward his father and saw the grimace on his face.

“Go!”  Sam shouted and off the runners went.

It would come as no great surprise that Joe lagged behind the others all the way through the race.  It would come as no surprise to anyone that Joe limped all the way.  It would come as no surprise to anyone that all the other runners had crossed the finish line ten minutes before Joe made it in.  But, it did come as a surprise to Joe that, for the first time in Virginia City’s history, a blue ribbon was given out for both the first place winner and also the one runner who had come in dead last.  Running that race, was proof to all who watched, that Joe Cartwright had won the race of a lifetime.

The End

September 27, 2001

Next in the Whatever It Takes Series:

To Help a Stranger

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

Tags: addiction, Family, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright, Recovery