Thanks to Inca for the fast beta and to Stetson 1859 for the right word.
Warning: Don’t read it if you are a sensitive person
Disclaimer: Bonanza and its characters are created by David Dortort and originally aired on NBC. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Other characters than the originals are the property of the author.
I’m a Cartwright and I’m dying.
I don’t know the reason why I have to die, but it’s too soon because I’m too young to die.
I can’t understand how a situation can change so fast. Only one hour ago my pa told me about all the things we will do when I’m big enough to do them.
He told me about the pony he will buy me and the shiny new saddle. He talks about Christmas and how the family will go into the woods and bring back a wonderful tree. How we all will decorate the Christmas tree with sweets and homemade angels. He said that we will put Ma’s angel with the pink wings and golden hair on the top of the tree. His voice got all husky as he described Christmas time with the family.
Also Pa told me about hot summer days and how much fun it will be to go for a swim in the lake. He said he will teach me how to swim. He laughed as he said that the water will be a little cold but that I will get used to it.
He also said that I will need to go to school one day. His voice changed when he said that. Maybe because my pa didn’t like school? I’m not sure about this because I know how much he makes a point of education. Only yesterday he told me how important it is to learn as much as someone can because a ranch like the Ponderosa needs people who can think. It’s more than counting cattle was the way he put it.
I know all this because my pa tells me a lot of things.
Surely, it’s not important to me what he is saying because I can’t really understand a bit. Best part is that my pa is talking to me. His voice is so nice and soothing.
Only one hour ago he told me that he will protect me all his life and he will make me happy. I believed him because I felt that he meant it.
One hour changed everything.
The only voice I hear now is the one of my mother. Her voice is also raspy but not because she feels happy. Her voice is so harsh because she is shouting at a man. I don’t know who he is but I feel that my ma knows him. I can feel she is terrified.
Where is my pa? He said he will protect me — us — but I can’t feel him.
Mama is running. She is hiding in a room but a very strong man is coming in. His voice is bad. I feel hate. He takes my ma back in the main room. Now ma is crying. I can hear her heartbeat. It’s so fast, too fast for us.
I hear a loud bang and someone is falling down. It’s not my mama.
I hear other voices but I don’t know them. Papa wanted to protect us and he isn’t here. Where are you Papa?
Someone is lifting up Mama. I think it’s the strong man. He is crushing us. He is hurting us. No space between him and mama.
Something enters us by force.
He is hurting mama. He is hurting me.
Now all is still. I can’t even feel Mama’s heartbeat. I’m also drifting away.
I got never a Christian name but I know I’m a Cartwright. I’m the child of Joseph and Alice Cartwright and I will never be born.
© October 2013,
Other Stories by this Author
- The Gift (by JoeC)
- My Journal by Mary Coffee, Seventh Book (by JoeC)
- How To Say Goodbye (by JoeC)
- Blaue Stunde (by JoeC)