Summary: Maureen challenges Adam again as he tries to teach her that she isn’t ‘stained’ by her past–and as he tries to keep up with her forward thinking. This story is part of the series that includes ‘Freckles and Rouge’ and ‘A Real Father.’
Rating:  G
Words: 3900

Maureen Series

Freckles & Rouge
A Real Father
Stained

---

The Brandsters have included this author in our project: Preserving Their Legacy.  To preserve their legacy, we have decided to give them a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.  The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.

---

STAINED

“Joe?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m almost thirteen now. My birthday is in less than a week.”

Joe smiled down at Maureen. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going.

They were up in the loft of the barn. Joe was sitting cross-legged with his back against a bale of hay; Maureen was wrapped in a blanket, lying with her head on his lap. She’d been crying herself out for the past half-hour. Now, at last, she seemed to have regained her composure.

“Six days till your birthday,” he agreed as he stroked her hair.

“How long do you think it will be before Adam decides that I’m too old for a ‘talking to?’”

Joe bit back a grin and pretended to give that some thought. “I’d say by the time you turn forty.”

Maureen turned her head and made a face at him. “Very funny.”

Joe laughed outright at that. “As far as Adam’s concerned you’ll always be a little girl,” he pointed out. “There’s no help for that.”

She sighed and turned her head away again. “I suppose that’s true. Joe, he’s going to be so disappointed in me! Why do you have to tell him?”

“Shhh,” Joe said as he continued to stroke her hair. “Don’t get yourself all worked up again. Look, about the cheating—”

“I shouldn’t have let Nancy copy my answers,” she interjected. “I know she’s a habitual cheater. But Miguel’s my only friend at school—I thought it would be nice to have a girlfriend too.”

Little Joe shook his head. “Nancy won’t make a good friend,” he assured her. “Maureen, if it was just the cheating, I might have tanned you myself and then kept quiet. But after what you said to me—well, now I have to tell Adam.”

“Why?” she demanded.

“Because he needs to know what’s going on in your head,” he explained, unperturbed by her pale, drawn expression. “You shocked the hel—er, the heck out of me, little girl. Adam needs to straighten you out before you get into real trouble.”

Before Maureen could argue that point they both heard the barn door open. Maureen scrambled up and peaked over the edge. Then she turned back to Joe. He could tell by the alarm in her eyes that the newcomer was Adam.

Joe gave her an apologetic grin before calling down below. “Come on up to the loft, older brother. Maureen and I want to talk to you.”

“Give me a minute,” Adam called back. “Let me get Sport settled.”

Maureen let out a sigh of resignation. “I hope he doesn’t kill me,” she whispered as she sat by Joe’s side and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“He won’t,” Joe promised.

A few minutes later Adam climbed into the loft. He paused long enough to kiss Maureen on the forehead and then settled down opposite his brother.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking at Maureen’s troubled expression.

“I had to pick Maureen up from school today,” Joe explained, “and I got an earful from her teacher. She let another student copy her answers during a test.”

Adam raised his eyebrows at his adopted daughter. She swallowed hard under his reproving look and pulled the blanket tighter around herself.

“That’s not all, Da,” she managed. “I—I knew you’d be angry, so I was pretty desperate to make sure that Joe wouldn’t tell you. As soon as we were alone I asked him to keep quiet about it. And when he hesitated I—I told him I’d let him take some liberties with me if he’d keep this between us.”

Joe watched Adam’s reaction. There was a spark of anger in his eyes, followed at once by disappointment. But there was no shock or rejection. In fact, he managed a half smile as he held out his hand to his daughter.

“Come here,” he told her.

Joe gave her an encouraging shove and watched as Adam pulled her into his arms. Maureen muttered something about how sorry she was but her words were muffled by Adam’s shoulder.

“You had to know that Joe wouldn’t take you up on your obliging offer,” Adam said dryly as he rested his head on top of hers.

She shrugged and turned her head a bit so that her voice would be clearer. “When I was working with my Mam, I learned that you could get men to do all sorts of things. Even men that you’d never think could be swayed.”

Adam sighed. “That’s a dangerous game,” he told her. “Your Mam tried to protect you somewhat in her trade, so maybe you don’t realize how dangerous.”

“You can lose control real fast in that game,” Little Joe added.

She blushed at that and buried her head back into Adam’s shoulder. Seeing that, Joe glanced back up at Adam.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked softly.

But Adam shook his head. “No. I’m not going to settle this right now.”

Maureen glanced up at that. “You’re not?”

“No, sweetheart,” he answered, chucking her chin. “I’m going to need some time to figure out how to deal with this one.”

She gave him a tentative smile. “Yes, sir.”

Joe smiled too and decided to change the subject. Maybe they all needed a touch of normalcy at present.

He winked at his older brother. “How’d things go in the south pasture?” he asked.

Adam answered in kind and the three of them settled down for some companionable small talk.

*

Maureen was sitting up in bed, staring down at the book she’d brought up with her. She was an avid reader, but tonight she couldn’t seem to concentrate on the page. She kept glancing at her door, waiting for Adam to knock gently and then open it to look in on her.

He did that each night before he turned in himself. Usually she looked forward to it, for he would seat himself on the edge of her bed and they would talk and laugh together before he’d snuff out her lamp and tell her to get some sleep. But tonight she was dreading his arrival.

She wasn’t afraid of the ‘talking to’ he was likely to give her. She wasn’t looking forward to it either, but she knew that Adam would never really hurt her. Besides, he had only physically punished her twice before—and she had pushed him and tested his patience many more times than that. She had no right to complain.

No, what she was dreading was the lecture. He would discuss everything calmly and reasonably—and before she knew it she would be blushing with shame and feeling miserable for disappointing him. Little Joe said once that his Pa could give a lecture that was ten times worse than any hiding. No doubt Adam had learned the trick from him.

Well, at least their Pa had never lectured her. He was content to enjoy their chess games and political discussions and leave Adam to take her in hand when necessary.

Did he regard her as a granddaughter? Maureen wasn’t sure. But he seemed to like her and he got a quiet chuckle out of the way she kept Adam on his toes, so she didn’t worry about it much.

She sighed and glanced at her door. There was still no sign of Adam, so she did her best to quiet the butterflies in her stomach by forcing herself to turn back to her book. She might as well try once more to focus on the page.

*

“So when Joe picked her up at school,” Adam explained, “her teacher told him that Maureen had allowed another student to copy off of her.”

“But that’s not why you’re upset?” Pa prodded. He was standing beside the fireplace—pipe in hand—while Adam was sitting on the coffee table staring into the flames.

Adam sighed. “Well, she was just anxious to make a friend. I can understand that, even if I mean to punish her for it.”

He paused and gave his father a wan smile. “She knows better, Pa. And she’s smart enough to figure out that there are more effective ways to win friends. But once she was alone with Joe—Pa, she offered to let him take certain liberties with her if he would keep his mouth shut about the cheating.”

Adam watched his father inhale sharply at that. “What do you mean to do?” he asked when he found his voice.

“I don’t know,” Adam answered. “But it’s not something I can just paddle her for. I’m not even sure what to say to her.”

Pa looked at him intently. “How do you feel about her right now?”

He shrugged. “I’m not angry. I’m not shocked or horrified either. Given her past, I’ve been expecting something like this.”

He paused again. “I’m just worried for her,” he continued at length. “Joe and I tried to explain what a dangerous game that is—but I don’t know how to explain that a man can mean more to her than a means to an end. He can be more than someone to bargain with or manipulate.”

“You mean more to her than that,” Pa pointed out.

“I know,” he said, nodding. “She makes an exception for me and for Miguel—and maybe now for Little Joe, since she’s learned that she can’t manipulate him. But she looks at most men—even boys her own age—with a hard, speculative eye. Joe noticed that when he took her to the dance.”

Pa took a seat on the edge of the fireplace and leaned toward him. “Give Maureen time, Adam,” he advised. “Besides, I think she still has a little crush on Joe. She may just have been testing him.”

“Maybe,” Adam agreed, although he was far from convinced. “But I still don’t know what to say to her.”

Pa took another deep breath. “Well, you’ve always been honest with her, son. This is no time to stop. Tell her everything that you’ve told me—and just brace yourself for some hair-raising comments on her part.”

Adam grinned. “True. She’s one of the few people I know that can put me to the blush.”

He moved to get up, but his father put a hand on his knee to stop him. Adam gave him a questioning look.

“I never told you this, Adam,” he said, “but I’m glad that you brought Maureen into our family. And I’m proud of you for being such a fine father to her.”

He smiled as he met his father’s eyes. “Thanks, Pa.”

*

When Adam knocked at Maureen’s door she used a small, strangled voice to tell him to come in. He smiled to himself—he’d forgotten that Maureen must be as nervous as he was.

She was sitting up in bed, halfway under the covers. He gave her a reassuring wink as he stepped inside. “How are you, my girl?” he asked.

She smiled tentatively as she drew her knees toward her chest. “I’m okay,” she answered. “Are you really angry with me?”

He sighed as he took a seat on the edge of her bed. “Well, I’m upset that you let Nancy copy your answers. But we’ll come back to that.”

Maureen frowned. “That’s going to cause me some tears before bedtime, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” Adam owned as he reached out and chucked her chin. “But I want to talk about what you said to Little Joe first.”

She pulled her knees even closer at that and rested her chin on them. “Da, I’m sorry. I didn’t think there was much chance that Joe would agree, but I thought it was worth the risk. If he said yes, you wouldn’t have found out about the cheating. If he said no, I figured that I could still plead and cry and at least make him promise not to mention my offer to you.”

“Joe’s not so easily manipulated,” he said dryly. “And if you had just asked him not to tell me about the cheating, instead of offering him that exchange, he would have kept it between the two of you.”

“Well, I know that now,” Maureen said. “It’s my own fault—I underestimated him.”

Adam leaned forward a bit. “Maureen, there are better ways of handling men. You don’t have to look at every boy you meet as someone to grant favors to in exchange for whatever you happen to want at the moment.”

She took a deep breath. “But I have to look to the future, Da. Most women get security through marriage. But no man will ever marry me—not after I tell them about my past. And I’d feel obliged to be honest. Besides, I don’t think I want to get married. You give a man too much power when you marry him.”

“Just a moment,” Adam said, holding up his hand.

But Maureen ploughed on. “Now, I know you’re leaving me a settlement, but anything can happen. So I’ll have to be prepared to make my own way in the world—just in case…”

Adam allowed himself an inward cringe. This conversation was going to be even tougher than he anticipated.

*

Maureen bit her lip at Adam’s expression and pulled her blanket up a bit. “Have I shocked you, Da?”

She saw the ghost of a smile cross his face as he shook his head. “No, just surprised me, that’s all. All right, let’s, uh, take this point by point.”

She sighed. “Well, my first point is that no man will ever marry me. The stain of my past will prevent them.”

“That’s not true, my girl,” he said softly. “What happened in your past wasn’t your fault—and it’s not a stain. Any man worth having will understand that.”

“Well, I don’t think many men will, Da. And maybe there aren’t many worth having.”

He shrugged. “You only need one.”

“I know,” she acknowledged. “But—well, I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world to be a spinster, do you?”

“No, of course not,” he assured her.

She smiled. “Good. Because I don’t want some man to have all that legal power over me. I’d rather—I’d rather associate with them on my own terms.”

“And do your terms include exchanging favors for protection?” Adam asked dryly.

Maureen felt herself blush at that. “Why not? And you’re not one to judge, Da,” she added, bristling a little. “I know that you lived with a woman once that you weren’t married to—and I know that you provided for her. You shared a flat with your friend Kevin and a girl named Nora.”

Adam narrowed his eyes at her. “I presume you overheard Charlotte and me talking,” he commented. “Yes, Kevin, Nora I all shared a flat in Manhattan when we were young.”

“And I notice that you didn’t marry Nora,” Maureen ventured. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, Da, but even you wouldn’t marry a girl who wasn’t respectable. A girl who was—who was stained.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. For a moment Maureen thought that she had gotten herself into even deeper trouble, but then he smiled suddenly and reached out to brush a stray strand of her hair aside.

“For your information,” he said, “I did propose to her.”

She felt her eyes widen. “You did?”

He nodded. “After Kev died. She turned me down—partly because she didn’t want to be married and partly because she didn’t want to leave New York.”

“Oh,” she said, digesting that. She stared down at her hands as she felt her face grow red. “I’m sorry, Adam. I shouldn’t have assumed—”

“It’s all right,” he said, chucking her chin. “Nora and I kept in touch—she’s still a good friend.”

Maureen managed a tentative smile. “Charlotte’s not jealous?”

“No,” Adam answered, shaking his head. “She’d like Nora if she ever met her—and so would you.”

He paused for a moment. “Nora never did get married,” he said at length. “And she’s managed to find enough wealthy men to provide for her. But you know from your own experience what a difficult life that can be. Is that really what you want for yourself?”

She bit her lip again. She almost wished that Adam had been shocked and horrified—then she could have defended herself hotly. But now she just felt ashamed.

“No,” she said in a small voice. “But—but I still don’t want to be married,” she added defiantly. “Mary Wollstonecraft didn’t think much of marriage for women—and some current suffragists agree with her. I think she’s right too. Men shouldn’t have so much power over their wives.”

Adam was silent at that. Maureen couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She knew that he didn’t like the way Wollstonecraft had uncritically embraced the French Revolution, but she wasn’t sure how he felt about her views on the rights of women. But he never objected to Maureen reading her books—or the pamphlets of the new suffragists.

“Would you like to see women with the right to vote?” she asked, grabbing the bull by the horns. “And would you like to see married women with more rights?”

He gave her a measuring look. “I don’t know how I feel about women voting,” he said at last. “But, at the very least, a woman should be able to maintain the rights over her own property when she marries. And I’m glad that some colleges allow women—I want to see you get the best education possible.”

Her eyes twinkled at that. “Joe says he can’t believe what a bluestocking I am. If you send me to college I’ll only get worse.”

“Joe admires your learning,” he said with a chuckle. “He just likes to give you a hard time.”

He paused and his face grew serious again. “Maureen, you know that you’ll have a handsome independence from me when you grow up. And you know that women can earn their own keep—look at Charlotte. She’s running a successful business.”

Maureen nodded. She didn’t want to be a modiste like Charlotte, but she understood Adam’s point.

“You don’t need a man to provide for you. Believe me, I’ll understand if you want to remain a spinster,” he continued. “In fact, I’d just as soon not have any man lay a finger on you,” he teased. “But you may reconsider marriage—you may find a good man that you’ll trust enough to love, honor and obey.”

She shook her head. “Not likely,” she told him. “I might love and honor someone, but you’re the only man I’ll ever promise to obey.”

“Well, thank you for that compliment,” he said with a wink. “But you might change your mind.”

“Maybe I’ll settle for a common law marriage instead of a legal one,” she said thoughtfully. “Then I wouldn’t have to make that vow—or hand over the rights to that independence you’re settling on me.”

He grinned. “I suppose I can live with that,” he said. “And I’ll do my best not to shoot the man in question.”

She laughed outright at that and leaned forward to hug him. He held her for a long moment. She even felt him kiss the top of her head. But he gave her another serious look as they broke apart and his voice was stern when he spoke.

“You’re lucky that Joe refused to take advantage of you,” he told her. “Another man might have accepted the favors you offered—and taken more by force. I don’t expect you to make that kind of offer again to anyone—understood?

She swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“You can have a better life than the one your mother showed you, Maureen,” he said gently. “And you can find a man who will love and respect you.”

Maureen still wasn’t sure she believed that, but she was glad that Adam thought it was possible. “Thanks Da,” she said.

She snuggled back down under her covers, hoping that he would forget the other matter he had come to discuss. She kept her features innocent and even managed to say ‘good night’ through a yawn.

“Not so fast,” Adam said with an amused look. “I know that you were anxious to make a friend of Nancy, but you’ve still earned yourself a talking to for letting her copy your answers on that test.”

She cringed. “I was hoping that you’d forgotten about that,” she said as she sat up again. “But I don’t see why I should get a talking to over it—I just wanted a friend.”

“I let you off the last time I caught you cheating, Maureen,” he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t count, Da” she complained. “You weren’t even my guardian then.”

“No, just your teacher,” he said dryly. “Tell you what—I’ll let you off this time too, on one condition.”

“What’s that?” she asked eagerly.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that this is the only time you’ve cheated with Nancy.”

She looked him straight in the eye. She nodded and even started to say the words. But she stopped in the middle of her confirmation and wavered under the glare of his amber-brown eyes.

When it came right down to it, she couldn’t lie straight to his face.

“She-she might have copied my answers before,” she confessed. “And I might have written an essay—or maybe two—for her.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said with a sigh. Then he took her chin in his hand again. “You have an excellent friend in Miguel,” he pointed out. “Don’t settle for someone like Nancy.”

Maureen managed to nod.

“Any more pleas or protests?” Adam inquired.

She sighed. “No, sir.”

“Then let’s get this over with,” he said, helping her out from under the covers. “And let’s not have this discussion again.”

“We won’t,” she promised.

A while later Maureen was curled up in bed again. Adam had tucked her back in after he punished her and then kissed her goodnight and snuffed out her lamp.

She pulled her blankets more tightly around her and thought back to his words. Maybe she would find a man to settle down with, but she doubted it. He would have to be a truly good man, after all, and she suspected that they were in short supply.

And now that she knew Adam—not to mention his father and Hoss and Little Joe—her standards were outrageously high.