Summary: Guilt and misplaced anger between two brothers after an accident with Adam’s young daughter cause a rift that might never heal. When a rescue becomes a search the Cartwrights finally learn the truth of what happened to the child, but will it bring healing or more hurt for the brothers?

Rating: G, Word Count: 3451

Keeping Watch

All I can recall of that moment was how numb I was and it wasn’t from the cold, even though it was bitterly cold. The mid-afternoon sun brought no warmth as it bounced off the snowy landscape, nearly blinding us as we rode. Puffs of warm breath from our horses drifted through the still air and up to the clear azure sky.

As Pa led us across the icy meadow closer to the tree-lined ridge, no one spoke. No one dared, for fear of losing our tenuous hold on hope. Silently we pushed our horses farther and higher. 

As we neared the final trail, my grip tightened on Cochise’s reins, holding him back. This was where it had happened, where I’d lost my niece. Fear of what we’d find grabbed me once more. Suddenly it all flashed before my eyes again, was it really just hours earlier? 

For days, Adam had promised to take Amanda, his five year old daughter, to the ridge to see the wintry lake but the trail was still too snowy. Finally, this morning, it had melted a fair amount but Adam had come down with a cold. With no other solution, he suggested I take her. With his blessing it wasn’t long before Amanda and I were heading into the hills behind our house. 

The snow was soft so she rode with me on Cochise part way, and we hiked the rest of the way to the ridge. She and I spent long moments silently gazing at the view before us. It never ceased to fill me with wonder and joy to see the indescribable blue of the lake ringed by the winter white mountains. I had to grin when my niece gasped upon seeing it for the first time, but sharing that sense of awe between us was a special moment I’ll never forget. 

While we silently enjoyed the view of the lake, Amanda lost her footing on an icy patch. My arm jerked as her hand slipped from my grip, leaving her mitten behind. I spun around in time to see her slide down a hidden embankment and, oh God… I couldn’t reach her. 

“Amanda…”, I cried out. She didn’t move, and the rocks were too loose and slippery for me to climb down, so my only choice was to get back to the house and get help. I marked the spot, told her I’d be right back with help, then ran back to where I left Cochise tied. Her silence haunted me all the way home. 

As I raced into the yard, screaming for help, I’ll never forget the faces of my father and brothers – shock and horror, plus condemnation from Adam. Adam’s stony stare brooked no argument that he was coming along. Pa ordered Jamie to remain with Adam’s family. 

By the time we were ready to ride out, the sun had moved past its zenith and the temperature was dropping fast. The few inches of snow on the trail she and I had taken had turned icy so we were forced to take a safer but longer route to the ridge. 

Pausing at the edge of the forest, I watched my father and brothers move on, then I nudged Cochise forward. No matter what we find, I will face this head on, even if it means losing any bond with my family. 

*****

“Pa, I swear, this is right where I left her. You can see how the path broke away here. She was right down there, Pa!” My voice rose with each word as panic set in. I looked at each face, hoping someone would believe me. I stared down at the empty spot once more. She was right down there and there was nowhere for her to go. 

Pa rested a hand on my shoulder as he turned to my brothers. “We need to look for tracks, clothing, anything.” He nodded toward the glowing sky in the west. “And we better find something fast.”

Tying off the horses, we silently fanned out. I couldn’t put one coherent thought together so I stuck close to Pa and looked where he didn’t look as we checked around the embankment. Hoss headed farther up the trail, and Adam, well he just threw an icy glare at me and moved off behind Hoss to check the undergrowth. He hadn’t said more than two words to me since this all began.  I knew he blamed me for all of this. Of course, he wasn’t feeling good either, but that wasn’t going to keep him from finding his daughter. Lost in my thoughts I almost missed Hoss calling out from ahead of us on the path. 

“Pa, I got somethin’ here.” Pa and I clamored up the snowy path to catch up to Hoss. Adam peered over Hoss’ shoulder. 

“What is it, Hoss?”

Adam reached over Hoss’ arm and grabbed the object from his hands. I couldn’t see much looking over Pa’s shoulder but I did see Adam’s face go white as a sheet. Pa and Hoss both grabbed at his arms to keep him steady. Pushing my way into the circle, I saw it; one of her blue hair ribbons. 

Regaining some of his coloring, Adam shrugged off the assisting hands. 

Now that niggle was even stronger. “I keep telling you something’s not making sense.  I mean she was back there, but we found her hair ribbon here. She and I never made it this far.”

“Joseph, not now.”

“No, wait Pa, I know Joe’s been sayin’ that, but now we got somethin’ to go on.” 

“We don’t have time for this!  We’ve got to find her. It’s almost dark.”  Adam’s voice was strained with the effects of his cold and his worry. 

“Someone got her outta there, an’ this is the only way they coulda gone.”  We all looked further up the path and Adam took off ahead of us. 

“Here’s the other ribbon.”  Hope and desperation mixed into his raspy voice.

“Hoss and Adam, keep moving forward. Joe and I will retrieve the horses. Look for tracks or anything that could belong to Amanda. Someone may be leaving us a trail to follow.”  

With renewed vigor Adam and Hoss headed out. However, after searching for another half hour through the weakening light, they found nothing more. At that point Hoss was looking around for a place for us to camp, when Adam called out in a gravelly voice that led to a coughing fit. Trying to catch his breath he pointed. Our eyes followed and collectively we gasped. Through the trees the glow of a campfire stood out in the waning light. Hoss took hold of Adam to help him along, as Pa and I followed with the horses. 

We tied the horses off again and moved to the edge of the woods, sharing silent glances to determine what to do next. Sitting on a log next to the roaring fire was a man wrapped in furs. He was bent over a book, reading by the firelight. Pa’s eyes connected with ours once more as his hand rested on his pistol. The three of us followed his lead. 

“Hello, the camp.”

The man’s head slowly turned our way. “Hello. Please come toward the light.”

Cautiously, each of us stepped forward so the flames from the campfire would light our faces. Laying the book aside, and rising from the log, the man, quite tall, held his hands apart in a peaceful gesture. His solemn eyes made contact with each one of us, finally resting on Adam. 

“I am Angelo. Welcome to my camp. I’ve been expecting you.” 

“I’m Ben Cartwright. These are my sons, Hoss, Joe, and Adam.”

Angelo’s gaze focused on Adam. “That which you are seeking is over here.”  He stepped away from the log to reveal a bundle on the ground. 

A raspy gasp came from Adam as he struggled to reach the pile of furs. He fell to the side of the mound and began stroking something we couldn’t see. He grew more agitated as he fought to push the covers back so Pa stepped over and helped until Adam was able to lift the limp body of his daughter into his arms.

“Amanda, sweetheart, wake up. Please wake up. Papa’s here, darling. Please…”  He rocked her back and forth, touching his forehead to hers, sobs and coughs mixing with his pleas for her to wake up. 

As Hoss joined Pa, I remained rooted to my spot on the other side of the fire. Mixed emotions were telling me to be elated that we’d found Amanda, but another part of me wanted to slink away and disappear from all the trouble I caused. I didn’t notice that Angelo had moved over beside me.

“It tugs at the heart doesn’t it? A beautiful reunion, after all you have been through.”

I nodded, struggling to find my own voice. “Is…is she…okay?” 

“I reckon she’ll be alright now that her father’s here. She was pretty cold when I got to her but she warmed up fast after I got the furs around her. I got her to take a bit of broth before she went to sleep. I guess you found the things I left for you to follow.”

“Huh? What things?”

“The ribbons?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Perhaps you better sit down before you fall down.” He led me over to the log he’d been using and eased me down before moving over to Adam’s side. 

“Adam, she’ll be better off under th’ furs.” He dropped one of his furs on the ground. “Sit here with her, and I’ll bring you some food.” 

Pa joined Angelo at the fire. “I’d like to thank you for rescuing my granddaughter. Could you tell us how you came to find her?”

Angelo nodded and handed Pa a plate of food. “Of course. Take this to Adam. Then I will tell you whatever you wish to know.”

Pa sat by Adam to make sure he ate, and Hoss settled down beside me.

“I hope it’s okay, Mister Cartwright, but I was just passing through these mountains. I had just arrived in this area, when I heard the scream of a child even though I was still a good bit away from where she fell. As I drew closer, I saw this young man,” he nodded toward me, “frantically marking the spot and calling to her. Then he ran off. I called after him but I reckon he was too far away to hear me.” 

My heart squeezed tight in my chest to know someone was close enough to help and I missed it. 

Angelo continued, “When I reached the spot where she fell, she was looking up at me begging for help. I used the rope I had with me and found a better place to climb down to get to her. It was about fifteen feet from where she landed. I wasn’t surprised that she was afraid of me but I promised her I wanted to help her and I’d find a way to get her back to her family. She was bruised and very cold so I tied her to my back and climbed back up to the path. I returned to this clearing to make camp. After she was settled and sleeping, I went back and placed the ribbons where you would see them. I’ve been waiting here ever since.”

Pa glanced at Adam who turned away to look at his sleeping daughter. I watched the exchange but couldn’t tell if Adam’s feelings toward me were changing. 

Hoss noticed I hadn’t eaten much while Angelo was talking. “You best eat up, Joe. Best way to keep warm.”

“I can’t Hoss. All this is my fault. I shouldn’t have brought Amanda up here. We should have waited until Adam was over his cold. I saw his look at the house, and on the ride up here. He’s never going to forgive me for what happened. And now we learn that help was close by. I should have stayed with Amanda, not run off.”

“Joseph, you listen to me. Shoulda and coulda ain’t gonna get you nowhere. You know that. We need to deal with what we have right now. That little girl has been found an’ is gonna be alright thanks to Angelo finding her. Also we got up here a lot faster thanks to you comin’ to get us.. Now I firmly believe God was lookin’ out for her an’ for you, an’ you gotta hang on to all that. You an’ Adam can work out your differences, if there are any, when we get home. Now eat your food and get some rest.”

I didn’t feel like eating but a distant inner voice told me Hoss was right so I managed to get down about half of what was on my plate. 

“Angelo, my son and I need to retrieve our horses. They’re not far from here.” 

“You stay here, Mister Cartwright. I’ll go get them. I know about where you left them.” And Angelo was gone, lost in the darkness beyond the campfire before Pa could say anything. It seemed he had hardly left when he returned and settled by Hoss with a cup of coffee.  

I chanced a glance toward Adam and found him laying by Amanda and already asleep. I stretched out too on some extra furs not realizing how exhausted I was. My eyes grew heavy and I drifted off to Pa and Hoss’ quiet conversation with Angelo and the warmth of the campfire. 

*****

The next morning I awoke just as the sun began to brighten the sky. Sticking my face out into the frosty air, I saw Angelo and he was once again reading by the fire. No one else was awake so I grabbed some furs and made my way over to him. 

“Good mornin’ to you,” he whispered, not wanting to disturb the others.

“Mornin’.” 

Angelo put his book down and poured me a cup of coffee, which I accepted eagerly. I needed something besides the cold air to clear my head. 

“What are you reading?”

“The Bible. You ever read it?”

“Sure. Well, parts of it. Pa would always tell us stories from it when we were kids. Is that the Psalms you’re reading?”

Angelo nodded. “Psalm 91. ‘For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.’* God is encouraging David with these words.”

I sipped my coffee and stared at the sparkling landscape, brightened by the rising sun. The Psalmist’s words, and Hoss’ from last night, floated around in my thoughts. I felt a strange peace in me that I couldn’t explain. How different this moment felt from the last twenty-four hours. The woods were silent when I awoke but now I could hear the small animals scurrying about and birdsong in the air. I became aware of the quiet breathing from each of my family. The presence of Angelo somehow brought calm to the chaos of the accident with Amanda. 

Movement behind me told me everyone else was waking up. Angelo returned his Bible to a knapsack then proceeded to start breakfast for everyone. 

Adam was the last to awake and I watched as he quietly spoke to Amanda whose eyes were finally fluttering open. 

“Pa-pa?” 

All sound in the camp stopped at the sound of her wee voice. Seeing my young niece struggle out of the furs and into her father’s waiting arms was more than I could bear. It was a reunion I thought I’d never witness. Trying to hide my emotions by drinking my coffee, I felt a hand rest gently on my shoulder. Flicking my eyes to the side confirmed it was Angelo, and strangely I drew strength from his touch. 

Smiling to each other, Pa and Hoss, in an attempt to give Adam and Amanda some privacy, went to check on the horses. 

While we ate we all had time to talk more with Angelo, and offer our deepest gratitude for his rescue and care of Amanda. After breakfast the camp was quickly cleaned up, and we were saying good-bye to Angelo. We all tried to convince him to come with us, but Angelo said he was a wanderer and was heading north. 

While we readied the horses for the trip home, Adam sat on a log by the low fire with Amanda snuggled against him. This trip had taken a toll on him and his cold had gotten much worse. Angelo approached me with a bag in his hand. “These are herbs that can help your brother as you travel home. Add three pinches to boiling water, stir and have him drink it. Do this at each meal.” 

“I, um, thank you, Angelo. I’ll do that.” 

“I sense you still have unfinished business with your brother. Go to him now.”

I started to refuse as I didn’t want to deal with it until we got home, but an encouraging smile from Angelo sent me over to the fire. 

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself.”  Adam could barely croak out the words. His eyes flicked to an empty space on the log. I sat, and immediately Amanda clamored over to my lap. 

“Uncle Joe, can I ride with you some?”

A sparkle in Adam’s tired eyes gave me my answer. “Sure darlin’. You can start with me then a little later you can ride with Uncle Hoss or Grandpa.” 

Her warm hug reignited some of the joy that had been lost. Glancing at Adam, I wasn’t sure what I was reading from his expression. I forged ahead. “Adam, I’m sorry for all that happened yesterday. I shouldn’t have…”

“Stop Joe.” His voice was barely a whisper. “You have nothing to be sorry for. No wrong was committed yesterday, just unfortunate circumstances.”

“Have you been talking to Hoss? He said the same thing to me last night.”

“He’s a wise brother, but no, I’ve not talked with him, not about this at least. I am the one to apologize. I was scared and angry about what happened, not at you but at the situation, plus I was sick and not thinking straight. I directed my anger and silence toward you, and that was wrong. I’m sorry for that.” 

Adam reached over to stroke Amanda’s dark hair and she turned back to his waiting arms. “I know you love her just as much as I do. Thank you for your quick thinking, to get help as soon as you could. I’ll be forever grateful for that.” 

With my eyes misting up, I reached for Adam’s arm and gave it a squeeze. All was healed between us once again. 

Pa’s shadow fell across us at that moment. “Adam, are you ready to go?”

“Sure Pa.” I stood and took Amanda over to the horses while Pa put the fire out then helped Adam to his horse. 

Angelo came by and shook each of our hands. “Farewell gentlemen, and little miss. Safe travels for you all.”

Adam gripped his arm and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, Angelo, for everything.”

Smiling, Angelo turned and headed into the woods. A few minutes later we were mounted and Hoss led the way up the path. Pa followed, then Adam, and I, with Amanda secure in front of me, brought up the rear. On the other side of the woods, we expected to see Angelo heading northward along the ridge. Hoss stopped and waved us forward. 

“I don’t see him anywhere, Pa. Where’d he go?”

Pa got a strange smile on his face as he looked at each one of us. He nudged Buck forward as he spoke softly, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for some have entertained angels unawares.”**

As four horses carrying four men and a little girl carefully made their way out of the mountains, the stranger watched for a moment, smiled, then headed in the opposite direction. The bright sunlight shining from the azure sky bounced off the glistening snow, thus obscuring the man’s ascent toward his home.

The End

*Psalm 91:11,12, KJV

**Hebrews 13:2, KJV 

Black Means Love – a story set later in time but includes Amanda’s memories of this fateful day.