Bonanza
~*~*~ Advent Calendar ~*~*~
* Day 23 *

 

Summary:  A moment of reflection for Ben as he contemplates Christmas without Adam.
Rating:  G
Words: 730

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Deep in December

 

Weary bones protesting, Ben Cartwright had risen from a restless night before the sun cracked the horizon, saddled his horse by lantern in the winter darkness and followed the gray tendrils of dawn through the snowscape of the Ponderosa ranch. He had been careful not to wake Joe and Hoss, who worried too much about him as it was. At his age he supposed it was only natural; still, it was a nuisance sometimes. And he was in no mood for a lecture, no matter how well intended.

He wasn’t sure how or when it happened but there seemed to have been a reversal of roles, and now that his sons were grown he deferred to them more and more. The Ben Cartwright of just a few years ago would have pushed back harder, but some things didn’t seem to matter as much as they did then. They could run the ranch the way they saw fit as long as they didn’t tread on his personal liberty. He wasn’t that old.

He rode into the first light of a clear, cold morning, dismounting on the crest of a certain hill. The air was pristine and shimmering, and his breath hovered before him like smoke rise. In the valley below, the frost was on the village roofs as white as ocean foam (a natural analogy for an erstwhile seafaring man). A candle of memory flickered, and he could almost feel the spray on his face as he stood once more on the deck of the Wanderer; Captain’s Mate Benjamin Cartwright, a young man full of dreams and the world still before him, where even the stars seemed within his reach.

It wasn’t hard for Ben to imagine Adam in a similar setting, having long understood that the ranch wasn’t big enough to hold him forever. There is only so much a father can give to a son. Dreams are as individual as memories, and every man ultimately chooses his own. Not knowing was the worst part. At least, that’s what he told himself. But it wasn’t exactly true. Deep down was a small part of him that preferred the safety net of ambiguity rather than the finality knowledge might bring.

Memories and dreams swirled in the mist of Decembers past as he stood in the spot where they cut their first Ponderosa Christmas tree, one chosen meticulously by Adam. The young man who’d had such little time to be a boy, so often forced to be content with barely enough, relished the holiday through both lean and prosperous times, and he’d learned early the things that make a person happiest aren’t tied with a ribbon or tucked inside a stocking.

Are you happy, son? It would be enough just to know that.

A carol of birdsong burst above him, and Ben raised his eyes to a flutter of scarlet in a lone pine. According to Paiute lore cardinals were considered good omens, even spiritual messengers; symbols of loved ones passed, a sign that they are ever near. The fact that today was Elizabeth’s birthday lent a poignant credence to the idea. Though absent from his arms since Adam was born, she held a place in Ben’s heart reserved for her alone. Had she come nearer with a whisper of comfort and a reminder that all was not lost, not even those who wander?

That is what he chose to believe as he closed his eyes in silent prayer. Christmas was upon them; people everywhere would soon pause in remembrance of a night centuries ago when Heaven touched the earth. Good and gentle Christmas, kindling that sliver of hope which stubbornly springs in the human breast, even with an empty chair at the table.

Ben’s spirit felt lighter as he set to work cutting evergreen branches for the mantel and wreath, never minding the cold. He’d be home in front of the fire before Hoss and Joe hauled in the tree, with luck maybe even have the wreath hanging on the door to greet them. And Hop Sing, without fail, would have cider and donuts waiting.

 

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My prompt:  “The frost was on the village roofs as white as ocean foam.”  from Christmas at Sea by Robert Louis Stevenson
My character: Ben

 

Link to Bonanza Brand 2023 Advent Calendar – Day 24 – The Night Before Christmas by Questfan