Synopsis: Families don’t always appreciate each other, until something traumatic happens.
Rating:  G
Words: 11,600

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FORK IN THE ROAD

It could have been something in the air, something that stagnated this mid-July of 1861 and caused tempers to ripen. It could be that the Cartwright men spent one too many days out in the herd wrestling with skittish calves, or too much time worrying over the unbroke horse stock, or one too many hands quit for the mines, leaving them short and with too many worries.

Even a good night’s sleep doesn’t always mend things. The smell of greasy slabs of pork spitting in the hot skillet that can wake any man with an overnight appetite can’t always put him back on an even temper.

Ben stared sullenly at his black coffee as Hoss and Joe came down. “Thought I told you two we needed an early start to get that corral built before the heat.”

“Seems pretty dadburned early to me right now,” Hoss grumbled as he sat at the table. “Where’s vittles? Why ain’t no food on the table?”

Joe flopped down on the settee. “Pa, we’ve worked hard the past two weeks, and it’s going to be even hotter today.” He put his feet up, settling down as though bed hadn’t been comfortable enough.

“So are you telling me we have to stop work until the weather cools, is that what you’re telling me? Joseph, get your feet off the settee.” Joe slowly sat back up. “We’ve got two horses that can’t be penned together. And we can’t sell them until we break them.”

“That what you bought them for, to sell them?” Joe muttered.

“I bought them for breeding, and they turned out quite well in that respect. But we don’t breed the same stallion two years in a row, you know that.”

“Yeah.” Joe got up and went to the table. “And you expect us to break new stallions every year, too.” He rubbed his rear as he sat. Hop Sing bustled out with flapjacks and salted pork. “Say, how come Adam isn’t up yet?”

“Your older brother has been out cleaning the barn since before the sun rose. He’s got an errand to run for the next five days or so.”

“A week? He’s getting out of here for a week?”

“Settle down, Joe. It’s something that Roy needs done.”

“Roy can find someone else to be deputy, he doesn’t need Adam.” Joe reached for the flapjack plate but Hoss was quicker.

Hoss took more than half the flapjacks off the stack and handed the plate to Joe, who frowned at what was left and cleaned it off. “Oh, quit your bellyaching, younger brother. I’ve plum had enough of it.”

“Oh yeah, and you think I haven’t had enough of you, well you’re wrong, in fact, I’ve had twice as much of you.”

“You just watch your mouth, younger brother, because I’m likely to take this here flapjack on my fork and phhhhnggg—.”

Ben slammed the empty platter to the table, gaining the silence he sought. “That’s better. I swear, sometimes you boys give me an ache.” Adam came in and slammed the door. “All three of you.” He watched as Adam crossed to the table. “Go wash your hands.”

Adam glared at Ben as he sat. “I did already.”

“Outside? In the watering trough?”

Adam reached for the empty platter. “Hop Sing!”

Hop Sing came back in with a second helping of food, this time including biscuits. Adam grabbed two biscuits and several slabs of pork while Hoss took a biscuit and the flapjack plate.

“Have you heard, Joe, ole Adam here thinks he’s real special, cause he can just up and leave whenever he feels like it,” Hoss said, munching on his biscuit.

“Now I’m not in favor of it but Roy himself came out last night and while I tried to talk Adam out of it….” he smiled ruefully, “he and Roy turned out a rational argument.”

“Yeah, but Pa, a week? I think we oughta take a week off and wait til he gets back.”

“There will be no week off, Joe.”

Adam grinned. “Yeah, Joe, you might put some muscles on those skinny arms of yours.”

Joe stood. “Now I’ve had enough out of you, Adam.”

Adam only chuckled as he poured coffee. With the suddenness of a snake Joe knocked the cup out of Adam’s hand to the floor.

“Joseph!” Ben said, but Joe wasn’t listening.

“You know, older brother, you’ve been asking for something from me for days now.”

Adam brushed at the coffee spots on his red shirtsleeve and stood. “Any time you say, Joe, just make your move.”

Hoss got between them and held Joe back. “That’s about enough. You two think you’re the only ones who got it rough, well, I got it rough and Pa got it rough and there ain’t no reason to act like overheated mules.”

“Oh, what makes you think you’re so smart, anyway.” Adam pulled away from Hoss and sat back down.

“I got enough in me to know that we’re all a bunch of jackasses, and maybe you oughta get away right now. And Joe oughta, and I oughta and we all oughta just be somewhere else right now. Because I’m sick of looking at all of us.”

“Hoss!” Ben took the napkin off his lap and threw it on the table. “That’s not an answer.”

“Then make Adam stay, Pa, so we can finish this.” Joe broke away from Hoss with another step toward Adam.

Ben shook his head. “We’re not the only ones involved here. Adam, Roy’s waiting, so get your gear and get on your way.”

Adam picked up the biscuit that wasn’t soaked with coffee. Without another glance at any of them he strode up the stairs.

“Come on, boys, let’s get to work.”

Adam rode at an easy canter half way to Virginia City before he felt his anger cooling down. How badly he had wanted to strike back at that little brother! It was only the heat, or that was most of it. He and Joe didn’t always get along – as half brothers they must have each picked up the wrong half – but they were still brothers. Joe should know when he’s being teased. But, Adam conceded, he should know how touchy Joe gets. Especially when he sees his oldest brother take off in the middle of things.

Not that Adam gets away often. They each get their trips to Sacramento or San Francisco and share the Carson City trips equally. But Joe tended to develop amnesia about the last time he got away. Maybe because of his youthful desire to ‘see the world’.

Well, if he wants to see the world, he should just go.

And Hoss – Adam was getting a little worn of Hoss coming between them, like some politician looking to win Nevada for the cause. As if there was anything he could have done anyway, the coffee was already spilt. He couldn’t think of a single time Hoss ever got in a mean ugly fight with either of them, the kind like he and Joe have. Maybe it would loosen him up a little.

Pa was another matter. Three grown sons and he still acts like they were children. Sure the heat put them in ugly tempers. It was no reason to act like they needed whipping into shape. Only yesterday Pa ran him ragged because he chanced taking down a rogue steer that already pulled the shoulders off two men. He managed fine, but Pa acted like he was 10 years old. And today, demanding he ‘wash his hands’. Like he didn’t think his eldest son had any sense. He knew well enough how to clean his hands the Indian way, with sand.

Adam was glad to get away. Hoss was right, distance was exactly what everyone needed right now. Even if Pa couldn’t admit it. There were times Adam wondered why he put up with it all. Maybe this trip will help him sort it out.

Escorting Rusty Brennan to Sacramento to be a witness in a murder trial was not, as Joe might have thought, a pleasure trip. Adam wondered how much more to this there was than he’s been told.

 

“Adam, just in time. The stage is holding itself for you.” Roy took the keys for the jail cells off the hook.

Adam glanced over at the heavy oak doors that closed off the office from the jail cells. “What’s he locked up for?”

Roy jangled the keys in front of him as he clasped his hands together. “Well, he’s a material witness. Without him there’s no trial.” He paused. “That’s what I got in an official notice, anyhow.” His aged and easy manner was contrasted by the sharpness in his eyes.

“You got reason to think different?”

Roy turned away. “Son, I just don’t know. But we gotta believe it anyhow.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying he doesn’t want to go?” Where before Adam had been curious, now he was feeling downright skeptical.

“He hasn’t said nothing like that to me. But this here’s what those Sacramento lawyers wanted. They said to serve him and lock him up until he gets his escort.”

“Uh-hmmm.” Adam stopped Roy from heading to the cell. “How many others will be riding that stage?”

“Oh, it’s booked pretty full, why?”

Adam glanced over at the cell. That bumpy, stuffy coach was no place to talk to Rusty – find out the truth behind this. “Roy, how about giving me your go ahead to take Rusty by horse?”

“Not on the stage?”

“Sacramento is only a three day ride. I’ll pick up a few things at the—.”

“But Adam, the coach is easier, boy.”

“Rusty and I are old friends. I can talk to him without other people around.”

“But Adam, jimminy, if something were to go wrong—.”

“Nothing will go wrong, Roy. I trust him like a brother.”

Roy opened his mouth and closed it. Despite Adam’s mild insistence he could see the set of that Cartwright jaw. He chuckled. “Well, son, you know I trust your hunches. Tell you what, if Rusty’ll go for riding horseback for three days with his hands tied behind him, it’s okay by me. How much trouble could he be like that?”

The corral fence was going up in good order even though the three Cartwrights weren’t saying much to each other and the day was sun-drenched and smoldering. Ben squinted at the sun, wishing for a good rain to break this hot spell. Maybe the rest of them would cool off as well. He wiped at the sweat on his forehead and bent back down over another nail.

“Joe, watch it! You almost caught my hand!” Hoss jerked away from the post Joe was hammering.

“You knew I was coming. You should have backed off.”

“Quiet, the both of you. The only time I hear either of you is when you grumble.”

“Working with Joe is reason for grumbling,” Hoss muttered.

“I’ll bet you think I didn’t hear that.” Joe pounded another nail into the side of the post. “Why don’t you start pulling your weight? Considering your weight, it’s a lot more than you’ve been doing.”

“Little Joe, one of these days you’re just going to plum rile me up.” Hoss threw down the plank he was holding and stepped toward Joe, who threw up his hands in mock fear.

“All right, listen.” Ben looked down, lines of disappointment etched on his face. “I’ve been giving it some thought. There are other things to do on the Ponderosa. Maybe splitting up for a few days is a good thought.” He rubbed his forehead. “Hoss, you go check the east pasture, see if it’s ready for grazing.”

“Anything to get away from here.” Hoss went to where his horse was tied and threw the saddle on.

“Joe, you head west. There’s a timberline above the Silver Lake belt, you know which one I mean, I’ve a mind to trim a bit in there, and I need some trees marked.”

“Sounds downright cool in that part of the world.” Joe took his horse by the reins. “Are you going to finish this by yourself?”

“No, I’ll get a couple of hands and come back out here tomorrow. I’ve a mind to head into Virginia City now and check on a couple of supplies. You boys head on back and have Hop Sing give you enough food for three days, that’s how long I figure you’ll need to be gone.”

Hoss and Joe finished saddling, carefully avoided each other, and rode off. Ben shook his head. One of these days something might be said or done that can never be made up. He only hoped it wasn’t already too late.

He’ll never forget that look on Adam’s face when Joe knocked his coffee away.

Adam leaned against Roy’s desk, waiting as Roy tied Rusty’s hands behind him and led him out of the jail.

“Hiya, Adam,” Even after a miserable night in jail Rusty had a smile for an old friend. “You know, I was glad to hear you were taking me. First Roy says he’d get a deputy but I asked for you right quick, because I just knew any deputy this old coot found would abuse me.”

“Hey, now,” Roy said, and Rusty laughed.

Adam put his arm over Rusty’s shoulder and led him outside where his horse and a borrowed one waited, stocked with food and gear for days.

“Wait a minute, Roy, aren’t you untying me? You serious about making me ride like this?”

“Ah,” Adam rubbed an itch on his chin. “It’s the only way he’d agree to it. You want to change your mind? Go on the stage? There’s another one tomorrow morning we could make.”

Rusty looked out over the road the stage took less than an hour back. “No, no, I prefer this. But Adam, there are shortcuts to the main trail, can we take those, cut off some time?”

“Ooh, I don’t know, boy, you’re talking about some pretty tough tracking without hands.”

“Pony Express can handle it at a fast pace. We’ll be going slower, won’t we?”

Adam pursed his lips as he thought. When he looked at Roy he got a nod of consent back. “Sure, we’ll be slower.” He punched Rusty’s arm. “Okay, you got yourself a deal, we’ll take whatever short cuts we can find. Let’s go.”

When Roy stepped back into his office he found Ben waiting. “Oh Ben, did you come to see Adam? You missed him by a few minutes.”

Ben took his hat off and brushed at the dust. “I didn’t think he’d want to see me. I just wanted to make sure he got off all right.”

“Yeah, he did. But I’m not sure what to make of it.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed as he looked up. “What’s going on, Roy?”

“They didn’t take the stage, they rode horse. Adam had this notion he was going to talk to Rusty about the whole deal, and I couldn’t very well stop him.”

“Was there a reason to?”

“Adam figures there’s more to this than it seems.”

“Well, that’s not so bad, is it? Wait a minute, is there?” Ben felt his temper rising. “Roy, what is it you’re trying to say?!”

“I guess it don’t hurt you to know. The reason Rusty needed tying up was the lawyers over there to Sacramento figure on springing a murder charge on Rusty kinda sudden like.”

“And you couldn’t tell Adam this? Not even hint at it?” Ben slapped his dusty hat against his leg. “Now what kind of sense does that make!? You know Adam would—.”

“If Adam knew, there’d be a chance – just a slight one, maybe – that he’d let it slip, ya see? Warn Rusty off, make him skittish as a calf at branding time.”

“But Roy, even believing he’s only a witness, what’s to keep Rusty from being too nervous to go all the way to Sacramento? They should have stayed with the stage, if there’s even a chance that this Rusty is a murderer!”

“Look at it this way, Ben. Adam would have been more suspicious if I said no. He believes he can trust Rusty like a brother.”

“He come out and say that?” Ben laughed shortly. “Well, knowing Adam’s mood before he left, he meant the opposite. That’s good, at least.”

“I made Adam promise to keep Rusty’s hands tied. Not much a fellow can do that way.”

“No, no, you’re right. But Roy, if you’re not concerned about this, why tell me about it?”

“Because it was a change in plans, is all. I know what your sons mean to you, Ben.”

“I gave up half a day’s work to ride in here to check on him.” Ben smiled, more to himself than to reassure Roy. “You know, maybe it should set in my thick skull that my boys are grown. They can take care of themselves.” He put his hat on and left.

The first day’s ride went smooth and easy. Adam and Rusty talked about being young and foolish and sleep was restful. By the second afternoon Rusty grew pensive and silent. They were both hot, that was true, and his mood picked up when they crossed the line into California. They could feel the cool breezes of the Sierra through the hot rays of the sun, the wind picking up the odor of the sage, creosote and tangent pinesap floating down from the mountains.

“Adam,” Rusty said suddenly, seriously.

Adam turned back. He had his book of Shakespeare’s sonnets in one hand and the reins of Rusty’s horse in the other, his own reins draped over the saddle horn. With his hands bound securely behind him Rusty had no control over the horse. Adam wasn’t sure it was necessary, but he assured Roy that Rusty would remain bound.

“What is it?” He asked when Rusty seemed to forget what he was thinking.

“Maybe if we gallop for awhile…I mean, we could get this whole thing over with it faster.”

“No matter how fast we get there, the trial doesn’t start until Thursday.”

“I know but…you know what I mean.”

“Maybe. Tell me anyway.” As Adam waited Rusty looked away. “You got something on your mind?”

“I’m just….damn…just so embarrassed over you seeing me like this.”

Adam looked out over at the trail they were following, straight and flat for awhile, before starting another rocky climb. He tucked his book back in his saddlebag and pulled on the reins of Rusty’s horse until they were side by side.

“Tell me about it, Rusty. How come you couldn’t just wire the judges your statement?”

“A matter of identity. They figure this Mitch Handel and the other fellow, a Frank something, will deny knowing a lot of people they knew and took money from – me included – and then I’ll show up to prove they lied. Like, you know, an ace in the hole. And when the two of them catch sight of me, the jury will see their faces.”

“Hmm.” Adam looked back over the trail they were following. It didn’t seem the way things were done, but some lawyers were devious. “Why do you need—-?”

Rusty’s horse neighed suddenly and reared. Adam tightened his grip as the horse bolted forward. Rusty whipped backward but managed to stay in the saddle as Adam held back on both reins to keep them from running, the leather stinging his hands as he held firm. At least he had put the book away or they both would have taken a tumble.

“Not the greatest horse they gave me, eh, Adam?”

“Best we could do on short notice.”

“Adam, we’re a long way from Virginia City and our horses are itching to run. How about undoing these ropes?”

Adam shook his head. “Tell you what I can do. I can tie your hands to the horn of the saddle, that’ll help you keep your balance. We got a stretch of dry flat land ahead for a bit.”

Rusty shrugged. “If that’s the best you can do.”

Adam held the reins of Rusty’s horse as they rode at an easy gallop. Adam couldn’t think what might have caused it but he felt a sudden wrenching on his arm. He was jerked off his horse and thrown to the ground, the reins of Rusty’s horse burning his hand hard as they were ripped away.

He lay stunned a moment, catching his breath, before looking up. Rusty lay a short distance away, his legs tangled in sage. The wrist ropes looked loosened but were still tied. Rusty was flung hard off the saddle, his ropes ripped off the saddle horn – unless he managed to loosen those ropes, somehow, just before…

“You okay, Rusty?”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so.”

“How’s your hands?”

“A little sore.”

“You’re lucky they aren’t broken.” Adam heard the horses running off in the distance. He winced as he got to his knees. “You catch your breath while I try and catch us a horse.”

“I won’t run off on you. Where would I go?”

Adam untangled Rusty from the sage and tightened the ropes around his wrists; they were a little red but not scraped. “If I can’t find them, we start walking.”

Rusty brushed the dirt off his chin as Adam headed off after the horses. “You bet, Adam,” he said under his breath, “we’ll do that. At least, one of us will.”

On his second day Hoss’s horse developed a limp during a canter. Hoss picked up the black gelding’s right front hoof, sure enough, a stone had worked in between the shoe and the hoof. He looked around for the right size stick and carefully, with the touch of a man whose feelings toward animals always meant more than his own, pried the stone out. He dug in his saddlebag and found the small hammer to pound the horseshoe back in tight again.

“There you are, fella. You might be a bit sore though, so you and me are gonna walk for a spell. I could use some stretching myself.” Hoss’s size meant he never had to worry about breaking any greenbacks on the ranch – Joe used to laugh at the thought of him bucking a horse right onto its knees begging for mercy – but he did worry about sitting too long on Chubby.

A number of times while he was growing up, people with little thought in their heads would comment how the horse he was riding wasn’t going to live long, he should find a buffalo to ride instead. He laughed with them and eventually the talking stopped. He never let on how he really felt. This was the way he was, and if people can’t accept it then they can’t accept him. Things were better now, but in that nagging little back of his mind, he could still hear those voices.

It was Joe who made Hoss laugh at his size, Joe was the loudest about his brother’s weight, as if Hoss couldn’t see for himself. Adam was well meaning enough by saying there was nothing wrong with a big appetite, but that only made Hoss feel funny sometimes when he sat down to dinner. Hah! Not for very long. He couldn’t help his big appetite. But he shouldn’t be made to feel different because of it.

He bent down and studied the road. Stage had been through not too long ago, heading west. The stage Adam was on, no doubt.

Hoss hoped his brother was enjoying himself. He hoped they all were enjoying their time apart. But he had felt a nagging fear that when Adam got back, they’d discover the house was still too small for the four of them.

Ahead, beyond the small thicket of woods, the strayed horses grazed. Adam cut through the trees, carefully, silently. He crept to the edge until he was able to reach out and grab his horse’s dangling rein.

“Easy, boy.” His horse recognized him and stood still, but the other horse whinnied and backed up. “Whoa.” He reached out but the horse pulled away from him and ran. He tried to jump up in the saddle but his horse’s cinch was loose. By the time he had it tightened again, he had no chance of catching the other horse. Not anytime soon, anyway, and he couldn’t leave Rusty that long.

 

Ben watched the sinking sun with trepidation. He was headed home for the night after finishing up the fence alone, and none of his sons would be there.

“I know what they mean to you.” Roy made a simple statement sound ominous just yesterday.

“Nonsense, doesn’t mean anything’s going to happen to any of them,” he scolded himself, straightening in the saddle. “They are capable men, not boys. Just because they’re out there alone, and they wear guns…”

He often wondered if it was the wearing of the guns that made a man an easier target to be killed, or if more good men would be dead now if they didn’t wear guns for protection. It was one of those questions he thought was impossible to answer. He only knew they had to deal with things the way they were. Someday, when the west grew up and more people living out here made laws easier to enforce, they could put their guns up for good.

He remembered back to a time when Adam and Rusty had been practically inseparable, more like brothers than friends. Rusty’s father was trying to homestead, same as Ben, but didn’t have near the resources. He only knew he liked the area, same as Ben. Eventually he gave in and agreed to work for Ben whenever there was a timber contract. One blistery fall day he decided he didn’t like the Washo tribe so close to him, and with two other men and not enough ammunition tried to force them away. He ended up with an arrow in his chest.

Adam and Rusty found much to argue over after that.

Still, whatever Rusty may have done, he wouldn’t stoop so low as to kill Adam to get away. Ben remembered their friendship and was reassured.

No, whatever else Rusty did, he wouldn’t do that.

Adam followed his tracks back to where he’d left Rusty, to the sandy area they’d fallen just east of a massive floor of hard clay and scattered rock, leading to another hard climb. It was lucky they fell where they did – or was it? Could Rusty have rigged the fall? Didn’t make sense, they could’ve ended up horseless, almost did. At first it seemed Rusty had disappeared – but then Adam saw him lying in a nestle of rock. He didn’t stir when Adam rode up and alighted.

He leaned down and shook Rusty’s arm. “Hey, you all right?”

Slowly Rusty’s head lifted, his eyes opened and focused. “Oh, yeah, I…I guess I took a harder knock to the head than I thought. Where’s my horse?”

Adam looked over his shoulder. “Guess we’ll have to try and make it on one horse.” He took the bandana out of his hat and wetted it with water from the canteen, then wrapped it around his bleeding right palm where the reins tore away the skin. “We may come across another rancher down apiece who has a horse we can use. May even find yours somewhere ahead. Come on, let’s get going.”

Rusty struggled, unsteady and awkward, to his feet with Adam’s help. “Both on your horse?”

“I’ll walk awhile. My horse can take the weight but we don’t want to push him. We can ride together later, when it’s cooler.”

Adam helped Rusty into the saddle, and Rusty laid forward against the horse’s mane.

“Sorry about all this, Adam. I’ll just lay here a minute, I’ll be okay, you’ll see.”

Adam took the reins and started walking.

Joe felt lighter than he had in days. This timber-marking job was going to take him right past Amy’s house, and it’s been a while since he’d seen her. Pa could hardly complain if he stopped at a friend’s for a bite to eat. After all, the next few days were his to do whatever he pleased, as long as he got the job done. “Amy!”

She was bent over a large tub in front of the small whitewashed house, and looked up happy enough to see him or to take a break from her chores. “Well, Joe Cartwright. What brings you out to see me?” She wiped her wet hands on her blue cotton dress.

“Why, Amy, since when do I need a reason?” Joe slid down off Cochise and led him to the trough, his grin wide. Amy looked down, blushing, and followed him.

“It’s been a long time, little Joe.”

“Now, haven’t I told you just to call me Joe?” He tied his horse to the rail and turned back to Amy. She looked finer than ever, her brown hair loose and falling softly over her face, her large blue eyes shining.

She slipped up to him and put one hand on his arm. “Well, that’s what happens when I don’t see you for awhile. I forget.”

“Did you forget everything?” He leaned over and kissed her. One of her hands went up around his neck as he folded his arms around her waist.

Out of breath, she pulled away and fanned herself. “Oh my, Joe, I don’t think we should be doing this.”

“Oh! I suppose out here someone will see us!” Joe reached for her again.

“Now, Joe, you know what I mean. I don’t want to be just another one of your girls.”

“Is that what you think?” He pulled her close.

“I know what happens to the girls who fall for you.”

“Oh, right.” Joe let her go and leaned on the hitching rail next to his horse. “Sounds like my brothers have been talking about me again.”

“Your brothers? Little Joe, why would you say that?”

“They’ve been riding me lately, that’s all.”

“But Joe, I was just teasing you. I didn’t mean nothing by it.” She leaned on the railing next to him and pouted. “What did they do so terrible to make you think that way?”

Joe turned to her. “It’s what they’ve always done. You’re an only child. How would you like having four parents instead of just two? Or like me, with three Pas instead of one?”

“Oh, Joe, you always said that Adam and Hoss were—-.”

“Well, now I know better.”

“Adam, let’s stop. I’ll sure feel better with some chow in me.”

Adam was tired of walking. They hadn’t run into a ranch like he expected, maybe because instead of going forward they should have gone back aways. He thought they’d come across a Pony Express station but it seemed like they’d gone backward in time. There was no sign of life anywhere. Yeah, this was a shortcut, all right, a short cut to nowhere. And he had always prided himself on staying out of situations like this.

“What’s so funny, Adam?”

“Oh, just a little biblical saying popped into my head, that’s all. Let’s find a spot for a campfire, huh?” They walked on a littler longer up a hill about as high as they could go, and would have to start a descent soon. A cropping of rock with some sand and plenty of old brush stood a far walk to the right. “All right, we can build a fire out there, I guess. After a rest the horse can carry two for awhile.” He helped Rusty down. “With just one horse we’ll have to travel as long as we can push it. Means only a couple hours of sleep tonight, if the horse doesn’t balk.”

“I’m game if you are.”

“I’ll gather some wood while you check the saddle bag. We’ll eat only half of what’s in there.”

Adam walked toward a bluff overlooking a canyon, with tall pines hanging onto the edge before stooping to the half dead bush and pulling at it.

Rusty opened one side of the saddlebag. He pulled out a plate and stared at it a moment. Then he reached back inside and dug, an awkward feeling with both hands together, but he found what he was hoping for. A fork. Of fine, sharp silver. He looked up but saw no sign of Adam. He slid the fork between his hands and worked it down, struggling, but finally getting the fork inside his shirtsleeve.

Adam came back with an arm load of wood. “Find what we need in there?”

Rusty dug in the bag again. “Well, it won’t be as good as last night’s supper, but I think it’ll do.”

The fire was going strong and the beans were warming on their plates because the cooking tin was in the saddlebag on the other horse. Adam sat back after checking the coffee. He missed the dried beef and shortcake in the other saddlebag more than the pan. He looked over at Rusty, who hadn’t said a word since Adam turned down his most recent request to untie his hands.

“Tell me what happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“How did you get involved with those fellows, and what did you witness?”

“What did you hear?”

“That you were in danger of losing your father’s ranch. That you like to gamble more than most. And owed these two fellows a lot of money.”

“They thought to get me to pay it off by killing a fellow for them, a fellow they said deserved it. Said his pa killed Handel’s pa. That don’t make him deserve it, Adam. Not if it was self-defense. I turned them down flat. They wouldn’t let it go, though. So I rode out like I was gonna. He lived in a shack, Adam, he was poorer than I was.”

Rusty sat forward and accepted, awkwardly, the tin cup of coffee Adam held out to him. His hands weren’t calloused to the heat, so he put it down to cool off a bit. “I was supposed to kill him. But when he came out, I saw how young he was, I thought maybe not even 18 years old. So I couldn’t do it. It turned out his pa and all his family was killed in a fire back in Missouri, so he came out here to try and make it on his own.”

“Hmmm. Shame. Can’t be much worse than losing a family that way.” Adam felt uneasy, having left home so angry, imagining how it would feel to go back with things left unsaid and finding it all ashes.

“Whatcha thinking, Adam?”

Adam looked up. “Did you say something?”

“I was asking what you’da done if you was me. But you were gone off over that way somewheres,” he waved at the horizon.

“Just thinking of home a moment. Go ahead with your story.”

“Oh. Well, I left him there, but I didn’t get far. I heard two other horses riding up. So I doubled back and watched. It was those two fellows, Adam, and they shot him. Heck, they could have even followed me there. Anyway, several of the gamblers in town knew they had it in for the boy and they got turned over to the sheriff, and taken to Sacramento when it was discovered they were already wanted for another murder in California. And Adam, you know I’m clean.”

“So you did see them kill him.”

“That’s right.”

“But Roy put you in jail, and insists you need to be tied up. He wouldn’t do that without a reason.”

“Oh, because of the notion that I’d be afraid to testify. And I am, Adam. These two, they could somehow convince the judge that they saw me do it.” He sighed heavily. “I’m glad you talked Roy into letting us ride, even after the way it turned out. I feel a lot better having you to talk this out with. Maybe everything will be okay after all.”

“For who?”

“What?”

“Rusty, I was hoping to get the truth out of you.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“The truth is told only so far as the teller wants to tell it. That may be all there was to it. But somehow, I don’t think so. I’m going to stay in Sacramento for the trial. Come on, let’s eat up this grub and get some more distance in before it gets dark.”

Joe managed to have his tree marking almost completed by the end of the second day only because he had a lot of pent-up energy and frustration. The last thing Amy said before he rode off gnawed at him.

“They’re the only family you have.”

Was that supposed to be consolation? Adam always got to do exactly as he pleased and never had to watch what he said to either him or Hoss, acting like he was the boss instead of Pa. A couple days ago he counted on Hoss to stand up with him against Adam, and together they could have gotten Adam to back down. All Hoss did was shrug those big shoulders of his.

Joe stopped a moment, puzzled. He tried, but he couldn’t remember what it was he and Adam had been differing on. Pa would say that means it wasn’t important enough. But it was, he was sure of it! Only now, out here in the trees, with the warmth of Amy still on his lips and in his mind, maybe it wasn’t. If he had shrugged it off, like Hoss did, maybe he would still be with Amy right now.

The sun was setting, in the woods bringing premature night, so he finished up the area he was working on and went back to his horse. Time to find a place to bed for the night. But he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be an easy night to sleep in.

Rusty hooked his fingers tight inside Adam’s gunbelt the few times Adam got the horse into a gallop. After the third easy gallop Adam let the horse come to a dead halt. He eyed the night sky, wishing for a full moon. It would have been up by now. He couldn’t see much of a path ahead of them but the horse seemed to be picking its feet up easy enough. He closed his eyes and smiled briefly when he felt Rusty lay against his back. He was an old friend, but they’d lost touch over the years. What did he really know about this old friend? When the horse came to a stop and started trying to prance backward even with the rein’s urging, Adam realized they weren’t getting any further that night.

“Guess we camp here. Unless we leave this horse behind.”

“Oh, no thank you. But Adam, maybe we could both walk and get the horse to follow us for a little ways, anyway.”

Adam slid off the back of the horse and helped Rusty down. “You feel up to it?”

“We don’t have to walk very long. But I have too much gumption inside me to sleep. A little ground beneath my feet ought to help.”

“All right. Start out. Stay ahead of the horse.”

They walked on for a ways. Adam could make out, just barely, what made the horse so nervous. They were walking along the ledge of a step granite gorge, a rocky incline too steep to climb out for anyone unlucky enough to fall in. Even with the sun gone and the wind cooling the air down for the night, he could feel the heat radiate up from below. Like the pits of hell itself in the daytime. He’d sure never want to see anyone trapped down there. Hanging was kinder to a man than that.

He shook his head, mind wandering the way it did meant the body needed some sleep. Adam wondered how he could have let himself get sentimental enough to ride out here alone with Rusty. They should’ve taken the stage. Yet, with that line of thinking, he’d have to consider Rusty guilty of deliberately losing them a horse. He didn’t like that thought at all. Best they bed down, so he could think clearer in the morning.

“With the heat from this gorge to warm us we should bed down here for the night.”

“Just a little further, Adam.” Rusty peered ahead, still walking. “You know what I’d like? You know that book you were reading out of?”

“The sonnets? I didn’t think you noticed.”

“Oh, I remember you and me when we were kids, Adam, you used to bring this mushy poetry along when we was fishing. Is that what those sonnets are?”

“Fishing. You always caught the biggest fish. We had that contest going, remember? Whoever won, anyway?”

“I think it was me, the last one I caught was bigger than any of them.”

Adam laughed. “Sure.”

“I remember once you read this poem, you never were good at just sitting and relaxing, Adam, unless you had a book in your hand. Remember this? ‘If love make me foresworn, how shall I swear to love?’ How does the rest of that go?”

“I don’t think that’s in here. Besides, it’s too dark for me to read anything anyway.” Adam looked up into the night sky where the stars appeared as vivid as lit campfires in the distance. “I think I remember it, though, it’s ah—.” And he kept his face tilted to the night sky as he concentrated, eyes closing. “I shall swear by the power of the night to blind us—.”

Rusty whirled around, startling the horse but Rusty lunged, with the force of both arms jabbed the fork into the horse’s breast. He dived sideways as the horse reared and bucked, throwing itself sideways into Adam who walked along the edge of the canyon, who because of the night and the weariness and the distraction and the trust, lost his balance and slipped down, off the side of the canyon, too startled to make a sound amidst the tumbling of rocks and whinnying of the horse. Rusty looked down into the depth of the canyon but couldn’t see into the pit of hell, couldn’t see past the darkness of night but the rocks finally rolled to a still and eerie silence and Rusty couldn’t hear anything at all. He tossed the bloodied fork down, by the delayed sound realized that it too hit the canyon floor. He pulled the agitated horse on down the path until he felt the horse would recognize her trail again, mounted, and rode off.

“No, thank you, Hop Sing, I’ve had enough.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Cartlight. Too much food left. I hope boys hungry when they get home.” He shuffled back into the kitchen.

Ben leaned back, the chair creaking. He couldn’t understand how one man who was supposed to be so smart could be so stupid. Sure, their tempers were hot. They had the weather to contend with, and more work than usual. Maybe he was just a stubborn old fool after all, thinking they always needed to be busy. The first thing he’d do when they get back is send them off, wherever they want, on a well earned vacation.

He took the stairs slowly. He might just have enough in him to finish that book tonight, before finding a way to sleep.

He worked hard the next day to put his sons in the back of his mind, never quite succeeding. Just as he was getting anxious to get away from the ranch himself so he wouldn’t feel quite so alone, Roy came riding into the yard at a fast pace.

“Ben! Glad I found you to home. Something’s happened with Adam and Rusty. I’ve got a posse rounded up, thought maybe you’d like to join us.”

Adam blinked hard and opened his eyes, seeing only a wall of granite, but feeling the reflecting heat of the morning sun. He moved slowly, mindfully, and found that everything worked even though something wasn’t quite right. He was disoriented, confused. He knew who he was, but for some reason the immediate past, how he got here, escaped him.

He pulled himself backward to a rock and sat. His right foot was throbbing and his head was on fire. He squinted up into the sun over the rocks of the canyon wall. Wasn’t going to be easy scaling granite walls with a twisted foot, or even two steady ones for that matter. It was a trap, a hole in a canyon surrounded by walls of rock so steep he could hardly look to the top before it felt like he was falling over backward, and so jagged in places it was likely to pierce the hand that tried to grab hold, or so smooth there was nothing to grab on to.

And the granite bounced heat around him without allowing a breeze. He got slowly to his feet, favoring his right – it just might be he’ll limp along all day looking for a way up, there seemed to be no end of canyon. By nightfall he collapsed against a slender rocky bed and tried to stay awake but couldn’t fight the drowsiness. Just for a minute, just….he knew he should try to climb at night, when it was cool…

Sometime before dawn he awoke violently, shivering. A blasted heat, followed by a blasted cool and he couldn’t be thankful for either. He couldn’t see much but his hand in front of him and looked up. No way to climb in this darkness. No choice but to wait for the infernal sun.

Hoss was tired. Not because he had so much to do, he was just supposed to check the east pasture and that was what he was doing. But he was more than tired of walking round and round in this pasture. It was obvious to him in the first few minutes that it needed another two weeks’ growth before they bring a herd here.

He could just go home, but what would Pa say? Pa was having more to say than usual, and it was a might upsetting. Hoss wouldn’t dare say it out loud, dadburnit, he didn’t even like thinking it, but Pa was acting as though he had three kids instead of grown sons.

Hoss had half a mind to ride on home and tell Pa just that. But reason got the better of him. Pa would come to that conclusion soon enough, and maybe even the hard way. Maybe after he was alone a day too many.

Hoss turned his horse to the west. He prided himself on waiting until he got the other half of his mind to do something. And it was telling him that a few days’ ride to Sacramento was just what he needed. Maybe he and Adam could take in a show together, maybe they’d even be lucky enough to see Lola Crabtree again.

It seemed the second day would never end and the heat just kept getting hotter. For breakfast Adam chewed on stones. Feeling a little refreshed, he walked ahead again, not any specific direction, just ahead, just to find some way out. He could barely feel his foot now, and maybe that was good, maybe that meant he’d be able to climb without pain. He didn’t realize he only barely dragged his leg behind him. At another corner of the canyon he spotted a few scraggly weeds growing in a patch of dirt. His eyes lit up.

He threw himself at the plants and yanked them out of the ground. Thistles. He tossed them aside and started to dig. Deeper, deeper, like a mad dog or a man in the last stage of dehydration. Finally sensing the futility he leaned back. Only two days, but with that sun heading up overhead, felt more like five. He found a couple more stones but could barely pry his mouth open to get them in.

“Keep going!” His mind screamed at him. “What for?” He thought back. But he stood and limped ahead again.

As the day neared its peak he found a wall with a slight incline, best chance yet, giving him a kind of hope. He could no longer feel the hunger but the thirst was dreadful, as moisture was being sucked right out of him to quench the thirsty air.

He leaned against the gray rock, closed his eyes and pressed his face against the warm flat surface. This was the fire he imagined – was it only yesterday – the fire he imagined burning down the Ponderosa. This was the regrettable moment when he would never be able to take back any of the angry words, when his brothers and his Pa would never know how sorry he was for letting temper get in the way. Why did human beings have to act so foolishly? He showed more loyalty to Rusty than he had to his own family – and this is how it ended. Without a chance to go back and do it over again. So much for college learning, so much for always trying to do the right thing. But at least he wasn’t dead yet, even though his head throbbed something fierce and his vision blurred on him.

The climb was going to be hard enough. His limbs felt useless and his face on fire. He wanted to take his shirt off but then more of his skin would cook. Damn black shirt felt so hot. It was the tiredness that was the hardest to deal with. But if he laid down now it would be all over.

As he reached up and grabbed hold of rock, he heard Pa’s voice. “Adam, you’re 13, almost a man. There’s one thing a man knows. Anything he puts his mind to, he can do.”

He braced his back against the canyon wall and forced himself to stand, ignoring the scream in his ankle. Ending up crippled was better than dead. He turned and reached up, finding a hold for his hands. He pulled, arms shaking and found he could raise his left foot to the first ledge by holding his right foot up with the strength left in his arms. “Like climbing a ladder, that’s all, just climbing—.” But when he tried to raise his right foot to the next ledge his ankle screamed and he fell backward to the ground.

“Tomorrow. I promise, Pa, I’ll try tomorrow.” He thought as he crawled deep into the light shade of the granite over him and stopped fighting.

Sleep was vengeful, invaded by memories. Several times he tried to get up to look for water, only to fall back into sleep again, memories of family both horrible and kind.

“What’s right now will also be right a week from now.”

“Don’t delay in telling her how you feel, son, or she’ll never know.”

“And what are you going to do when he’s dead and in his grave, tell him, I’m sorry Pa, I made a big mistake?”

“Joe, he’s my father, too.”

“You better listen to Adam, he’s generally right in situations like this.”

“You know, boys, it’s such a fine spring day, I think it’s time we take a little vacation…..”

“Hello? Hello, down there? Do you need a hand?”

Adam felt his mind waking, but his eyes didn’t want to open against the hot morning sun. He was no longer in the shade, but lying directly under the blasted sun. He rolled slowly to his side. He wanted to answer, but couldn’t even grunt.

“What are you doing sleeping down there? That sun in the canyon is like flames licking a frying pan. Here, I’ve got rope.”

His rescuer tied the rope to a rock and jumped deftly down the side of the canyon wall to the bottom. She tied the rope around his waist and wrapped the ends around his hands. She pulled the canteen from around her neck and eased a little water down his throat, then used a little water to wet his eyes when she saw they were burnt too red to open. She gave him another sip of water, and climbed up the cliff with the ease of a mountain lion.

After tying the rope to the saddle of her mule, she looked down. “Come on, fella, work with me!” Finally when he gave her a sign that he had some life and mobility, she kicked the mule, easing Adam up the canyon wall. She hefted him up on the mule like a prize beef steer and trekked back to her shack.

 

Hoss recognized the black and white horse before he saw the rider. “Joe! Hey, Joe!” Joe pulled up on the reins until Hoss galloped up alongside him. “Where you headed, Joe? This ain’t the way home.”

“So who says I gotta go home right now? You miss me?”

“Nope. I haven’t been back there myself.” They started down the road. “So why are you going this way?”

“No special reason. Just wanted to stay away for awhile, that’s all.”

“Yup. That’s about what I was up to myself.”

“So are you saying we should go together?” When he finally looked at Hoss the twinkle of a grin remained.

“Nope. I reckon you can gallop on ahead of me any time you’ve a mind to.” They rode on a minute. “You know, Joe, I was thinking—-.”

“Yeah, Hoss. Me too. I’ve been thinking, too.”

They grinned at each other and rode on, feeling the comfort of the familiar in each other’s company.

Her guest had passed out in blissful sleep after Mannie got him on the cot in her shack. She stood over him a moment. She hasn’t had to care for another human being since leaving her husband and children back in New York for the wilds of Nevada. She never looked back, not once in the past 25 years but now this stranger was stirring her. If she cares for him, will she finally give in to the desire to go back home?

She poured some water from a canteen, getting a bit of cloth soaked and wetted the sunburned areas of his face and hands. At least he was smart enough not to take his shirt off. She wouldn’ta had enough water. Every few minutes for about an hour she worked more water down his throat. He was pretty bad off, head wound, looked like broken ankle as well, and those burns swelled his face. He wasn’t going anywhere for awhile. That is, if she can even save him at all. But she’s buried things before out here in the desert. She refilled the canteen from her well. It was getting low again, they needed a good rain or she’d have to dig deeper.

By midday he roused himself enough to wake up.

“Well, lad, think you’ll live?”

“Ah…” Adam pointed to the canteen and this time she let him drink on his own. “Thanks. Don’t feel like it, but I guess so. Name’s Adam Cartwright.” He raised a hand slightly from the bed, but let it drop again.

“Don’t rile yourself, no need for ceremony here. Just call me Mannie, all my friends do.” She cackled loudly. “All my friends do! Who done this to you?”

Adam laid back, closing his eyes, frowning. “My horse…”

“Horse throwed you?”

“Wounded.” He shook his head. “Can’t remember…”

Mannie sprang to her feet. “Bay?”

“White blaze and three socks.”

“Man scruffy looking, dressed in brown?”

“I don’t…” he rubbed his head and looked at her. “Don’t know why or how he did this. Just know he did. You see him?”

“Yesterday morning. He was having trouble with the horse, high spirited animal, as though he couldn’t control it. Occurred to me he caused that fresh wound on the beast, that it wasn’t even his horse he was riding.”

Adam smiled. “Good horse. Loyal.” He winced and closed his eyes again. “Was a friend. Thought I could trust him.”

“He’s no friend of yours. He left you there to die.” She paced through the room, a soft and sullen anger in her eyes. Her hair was gray and her skin wrinkled, but she was strong and moved like a cougar.

“He was desperate, and I was careless.”

“You don’t ‘per the careless sort. I’ll go out, find ’em for ya, ya kin have it out with him, lay it all on the line. Gotta tie those ends up. Nobody leaves another man in that canyon to die.” She was out the door before Adam could stop her, but then, he didn’t have the energy to try. He saw the vittles and water on the table and thought to help himself, but instead laid back down and fell asleep.

At the sound of galloping hooves behind them Hoss and Joe turned. Even at that speed they recognized the lead rider.

“Pa!” Joe said as the riders pulled to a halt in front of them. “Where you off to so fast?”

“A Pony Express rider brought in the horse Rusty was riding. Roy thinks there might be trouble between him and Adam.”

“I thought they were taking the stage.” Joe frowned, looking off toward the hills.

“That’s my fault, son.” Roy said. “I let Adam take Rusty by horseback instead of the stage. If anything’s happened—.”

“What do you think mighta happened, Roy?” Hoss was remembering some ways back, where it looked like two riders were taking the Pony Express route, instead of the regular one to deliver the mail, and then the trail went back to just one rider again, and one on foot. It never occurred to him it coulda been Adam.

“I don’t know, unless Adam untied him—.”

“Roy, if you made it clear he needed to stay tied Adam wouldn’t do that,” Ben insisted.

“Pa!” Hoss sat up straight in the saddle. “I saw a trail a piece back. Maybe it’s the way they went. Want Joe and me to go and follow it?”

“That’s right, Ben, they were planning to go off the trail. Though I suppose it doesn’t actually mean they did it.”

Ben looked from Roy to his sons, seeing his family come together again. “Yes, go ahead. We’ll stay on the main trail and you two follow the Pony road. In a day’s time we’ll meet in Placerville.”

It was a good day’s time before Adam felt well enough to sit up and take the food from the table, smoked and dried rabbit and carrots soaking in water. It was hard to move, his skin felt stiff and itched painfully. Taking a breath made him think a right rib was cracked as well. His head pain had diminished to a dull roar, if that was any consolation.

When he heard the gunshot he stood. His ankle was still sore and throbbing, not willing to hold his weight, maybe broke. He strapped his holster on and limped to the door of the shack. He looked outside in time to see Rusty scrambling to his feet, trying to get away from Mannie who had Adam’s horse and was pointing Adam’s rifle at him. The first shot caught him in the arm.

Rusty saw Adam watching. “Adam! Stop her! You know I didn’t mean for you to die out there! Don’t let her do this! She’s crazy!”

“Come on, fella, try to get away again, I like a little challenge.” She pulled the rifle up to sight it again.

“Mannie, don’t!” Adam yelled. He stepped out into the sun and recoiled instantly, the sun’s rays renewing the flaming of his skin. He staggered backward into the shack, as the rifle shot echoed through the air again.

“Did you see that, fella?” Mannie shouted from outside. “I found ’em for ya! He cayn’t seem to stay on that horse of yours, with them hands tied behind him.”

Adam hoped to hear Rusty plead for his life, but was afraid it was already too late for that. He reached back on the cot for his gunbelt and strapped it on.

“See, everyone knows him guilty! Come out here and see! See for yourself how the guilty always end up. Friend or no friend, the guilty always deserve to die.”

Adam closed his eyes and stiffened, his hand drifting down to his gun.

“Hold it right there.” Mannie stood in the doorway, holding his rifle on him.

“You kill him, Mannie?”

“You know what you done to me, boy?”

Adam drew himself up on both feet, ignoring the pain. “You killed him, didn’t you. You don’t know who he was, you don’t even know how I got in that canyon. You should have let him go.”

“You look at me! Do I care anything about shoulda dones? I left two daughters and a husband behind 25 years ago, because caring was harder than anything I’d ever done in my life. But I couldn’t walk away from you.” Her rifle barrel lowered to the ground as she stared at her dirt floor. “You were helpless. Like that squirrel I found last week. I fed it, gave it water….and then it made a tasty stew.”

“Mannie, listen to yourself. You left a family behind and it’s aching you. Maybe it’s time to go back to them.”

“NO!” she aimed the rifle back at him, hard and steady. “You listen to me. I walked away because I hate people needing me. I don’t want you needing me any more.”

“I’ll leave at nightfall. Give me that much time, Mannie.”

“No. It was a mistake, taking you out of that canyon. I’ll give you one choice of three.” She lowered the rifle dramatically. “You can kill me.”

“Mannie, you know I can’t.”

“Or I can kill you. And I can. Or,” her eyes darted around the shack mischieviously, as though knowing he’d never go for the third choice. “You can ride out of here right now.”

Adam glanced behind him out the door. “I won’t do that. It would be suicide. I’ll stay until the sun sets behind those big rocks. If you prefer to kill me, then I guess you’ll have to do that.” As painful as it was, he drew himself up to full height and stood waiting her reaction.

Mannie slowly drew the rifle up until the barrel was gut level. She pulled the trigger but instantly Adam was on the floor, gun out and on instinct he fired back, not seeing the woman who had saved him but only a dangerous coiled snake with no mind beyond the strike. At first he wasn’t even aware that he had hit her, after he shot his gun he nearly passed out with the pain of landing on his right side, and feared whatever rib was cracked now broke in half. The worst part of the burn on his face had split open and oozed blood and pus into his mouth as he struggled to his knees.

“Mannie…”

She was on the floor on his side, twisting and groaning. Adam crawled to her and rolled her to face him. He had hit her square in the stomach.

“Oh Mannie.” He fought hot raging tears as he pulled her close. “Why Mannie? Why didn’t you just go home?”

“No home left. They’re all dead.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because…I killed them.”

Adam tried to stand with her in his arms, but couldn’t do it. “You hang on now, Mannie. I’ll get you some help.” He didn’t believe she really killed them, only that she thought she did. She wasn’t going to kill him either. He only thought she was going to. She saved him from burning to death. And he killed her. “Don’t die, Mannie. I’ll bring help.”

“Being a mother…was a bad thing. They abused, made me do things. You…made me want to care. That’s…a bad thing. Caring…brings pain.” With a shuddering cry, Mannie died.

“Oh God, no. Mannie!” He pulled her tight and wept.

 

With enough light from the half moon Joe and Hoss decided to keep going for a bit, as long as they had a trail to follow.

“I’m sorry, Hoss.”

“For what, Joe?”

“The way I acted a couple days ago. I’ve been thinking, I might want to practice up so I’ll apologize to you first, so that if I see Adam again…”

“That’s when, little brother, not if.”

“I know, Hoss, but you know, one of these days it might be too late. So I’m just thinking about it this way, so that when I do see him again, I’ll be so relieved the apologies will just pour out. You know how hard it is to apologize to that hard-headed Yankee.”

“Hah! Ain’t that the truth.”

When the lone rider appeared down the road they first thought they were seeing things. The horse in the moonlight appeared to be riderless, yet they could plainly see the body hanging from the back of the saddle.

Adam didn’t see them coming toward him. He kept fighting from passing out, several times nearly tumbling to the ground. The horse had the lead, the horse knew where they were going, they had to deliver Rusty to justice. But how would he explain this kind of justice? How would he tell the judge in Sacramento, well, I got forked into a canyon and he rode off and left me to die, but Mannie saved me, and killed him and then wanted to die so she pretended…she only pretended she was going to kill me too. It was justice, all round, your honor, justice, and I…I was only a pawn, no, that’s a lie, I created it all, my fault.

“Adam! Hoss, it’s Adam!” Joe recognized the horse first and kicked his horse forward.

Adam looked up sharply, gasping. He threw one leg up as though to jump off the horse but his leg hit something soft but heavy behind him. He couldn’t get off the horse.

Hoss and Joe stopped in front of him. “Adam, what happened? You okay?” Hoss reached out to take the reins of Adam’s horse but Adam jerked the horse back.

“What are you two doing here? Checking up on me, huh? Think I couldn’t do it? One simple job and you couldn’t leave me be?”

Joe got off his horse and went back to check on the dead man before looking into his brother’s sweating face. “Doggonit, Adam, what happened to you?”

“Nothing. Now if you don’t mind, I have to get to Sacramento. Rusty has a judge to see.”

“Adam, Sacramento is the other way.”

“Yeah, Adam,” Hoss got off his horse and went to his brother’s side. “Why don’t we help you down and we can talk about this.”

“Nothing to talk about. Now get out of my way, both of you. I’ll just…turn the horse around.”

“Adam, Rusty’s dead. He doesn’t have to see a judge anymore.”

“No, but I do….I…” he collapsed back into the saddle again but lost his grip and fell into Hoss’s arms.

“Joe, he’s pretty bad off. We can’t put him back in that saddle again.”

“I’ll run and get Pa.”

“No!” Adam jerked away from Hoss and stood awkwardly, holding his side. “I don’t need him, and I don’t need you.”

“Why don’t you tell us what happened, Adam? How did Rusty die?”

“Did he try to get away, Adam?” Joe peered close at the dead body and saw he was shot in the back. “You…you had to kill him?” His brother had never been a backshooter. Never.

“No.” Adam laughed. “Not me. I couldn’ve. I should’ve. He stabbed my horse. Left me to die. Mannie saved me, killed him, so I killed her.”

“Her, Adam?”

“God help me.” Adam fell to his knees. “I killed a woman. A mother.”

Joe grabbed the water as Hoss eased Adam to the ground. Hoss ripped off his vest to tuck under Adam’s head as Joe gave him some water.

“I’m all right. Thanks. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

He laughed again. “I don’t know. Everything? All the stupid things I’ve ever done or said? I was afraid I’d never get the chance. Mannie!” He tried to stand but Hoss and Joe held him down. “Now Mannie will never get the chance.”

“No, Adam, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, Adam, we all, dadburnit, we all said things we’d like to take back. And maybe you wouldn’ta needed to trust someone else so much.”

Adam’s eyes were closed. They thought maybe he was sleeping. Hoss nudged Joe to stand, but Adam suddenly started to chuckle. “Yeah. Trusted Rusty like a brother.”

“We gotta get him home, Hoss.”

“Might be better for him if we camp here for the night. Adam, is it okay if we bury Rusty out here?”

“Whatever you say, Hoss. Don’t matter none to me.”

Joe pulled Hoss to the side. “Hoss, what you think? I never heard him talking like that before. Like he’s scared.”

“And we ain’t never seen the likes of the kind of hell he’s just been through. I suspect it’ll take him a day or two, but he’ll come around.”

Hoss and Joe made camp next to their brother, letting him sleep before the long ride back home, knowing that the healing of a Cartwright wound went quicker in each other’s company, than alone.

The End