Synopsis: Observations about the Cartwrights and their unique bonds are made by an old family friend.
Rating:  G
Words:  3,100

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My name is Shaughnessy. It’s been so long since folks called me by my first name that they’ve forgotten I have one. It’s never ‘Miss’ or ‘Ma’am’, and that suits me just fine. I’m just plain Shaughnessy with men and women. I’ve lived in this valley for many a year now, and I’m respected by the men. They feel comfortable around me, as if I’m one of them. The women don’t resent me for it, because they respect me, too. I’ve never been married and never aim to. I like friendships with men a whole lot better than I do any romancin’. Most of the men I’ve seen over the years haven’t shown me much. I have my own little place and keep it to my satisfaction, and I wear pants when I’m workin’ around the yard and barn, but wear skirts when I’m in town. The women wouldn’t trust me as much if I didn’t.

One of my best men friends is Ben Cartwright. I respect him a helluva lot, and he respects me. I first met him when he came to this valley with a young boy and a new baby in tow. Hop Sing had been rescued by Ben from some drunken idiots out on the trail and was with ‘em, too, but Ben wanted a woman’s touch for the baby from time-to-time, so I got to know him and his family real well. I watched him raise up his two sons and then he was gone for months to New Orleans to sell furs to help finance the ranch. I helped out as much as I could with the boys, and then Ben came back with a new wife. She was a pretty thing, and she was kind of a square peg in a round hole around here with her French accent and fine clothes and big-city ways. The women around here called them ‘big-city airs’ but Marie was down-to-earth where it mattered. She and I became good friends and I helped her birth Little Joe.

I also helped them when she died. It was a bad time, but they pulled through, because they’re Cartwrights and they always pull through.

I’ve heard tell that some folks think a family as close as they are is ‘unnatural’. Hmph. Just because there aren’t any womenfolk around, does that mean that men can’t be close to each other as a family? I’ve watched Ben Cartwright raise those boys and they all love and respect each other. I’ve seen other all-male families around, and they’re rough-and-tumble and half the time you expect them to kill each other. They haven’t got grace or manners or anything that resembles civilized livin’. Ben always made sure that his boys had manners and treated each other right. Oh, sure, they fought and argued and such, and still do, as a matter of fact, but if anyone cared to look they’d know right off how it was with the Cartwrights.

Ben is the salt of the earth. He had a dream of a great ranch and he made it come true. He’s lost three wives and raised three sons. He’s made peace with the Indians and had to fight off white men who fancied his land. He loves his boys with all he’s got, and half the county knows it. The other half does, too, but they sneer at it. I swear, sometimes I think Ben and the boys’s first names are ‘High-and-Mighty’. I think it’s just jealousy for what they’ve got, but who knows about people sometimes? Ben is one tough bird, and anyone messes with him or his boys had better watch out! He’s a gentleman with his own beliefs about right and wrong, and he’s instilled that in his boys. He insists on proper manners at the dinner table and courtesy and respect among all members of the family. The women in town all say, “My, aren’t those Cartwright boys well-mannered!” Little wonder with Ben’s preachin’ in their heads, “A man is a man, but a *gentle*man, too.” I’ve seen men together, and lack of manners are the least of what goes on. Ben doesn’t believe that a woman is necessary to act proper and respectful. Kind of a novelty, that.

People also say, “Don’t those Cartwright brothers think highly of each other?” It’s true that while they fuss and fight like other brothers I know, they have a powerful love for each other that they don’t mind showin’.

Each are so different from the others. Adam is the oldest, and he takes that responsibility seriously. Some folks say that he’s a little too serious. Well, they don’t know what is was like for him. When I met him and his pa, little Hoss (and yes, as big a baby as he was, he was still little) had been born only a few months. Adam was worryin’ himself sick about his new baby brother, afraid that he was going to ‘go away’ like his mama had done, and his new mama, Inger, had done just a little while ago. Ben had been too distracted by caring for his new son and starting the Ponderosa to realize that his oldest son was in a constant state of anxiety. He was grieving himself, and Adam had always been a clever one for hidin’ his feelings. I remember the day that it all came to a head:

* * * * * *

*Adam watched as Hop Sing gave the baby a bath. He reached out a finger and touched the baby’s arm, smiling as tiny Erik cooed and giggled. Adam was fascinated by anything to do with the baby. I exchanged a smile with the young Chinese cook. It was nice to see a young one take interest in his baby brother.

“So, Adam, could you fetch a towel?” I asked.

“Yes, ma’am!” Adam scurried to grab the towel off the dining room table. He presented it with a flourish to Hop Sing, who grinned and held the squirming baby in the small tub. “Thank you, Adam.”

The boy smiled proudly and I patted his shoulder. “You help out real fine with your brother, Adam.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I noticed that the boy seemed to want to say something. “What is it, Adam?”

“I…I don’t want anything to happen to him.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he could go away, too!”

“Go away? Adam, honey, he’s too little to go anywhere, ‘cept with grown-ups.”

“No.” The boy shook his head vigorously. “He could go away. Up to Heaven.”

“Oh.” I felt a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Like my mama did in Boston. Like my new mama did on the trail.”

Hop Sing and I exchanged solemn looks. I went over and sat in the rocking chair by the fireplace and held out my hand. Adam hurried over and climbed into my lap. I began to rock while I stroked his hair.

“Honey, I know that you’ve seen your second mama die, and that you’re afraid others you love might go like her and your birth mama, but everyone’s healthy and happy and we’re goin’ to stick around for a long time to come.”

“But do you know for sure?” he persisted.

I was glad that I wasn’t looking into those all-knowing eyes. Well, all-knowing as a kid of six-going-on-seven can be.

“No one’s absolutely for sure, Adam, but your pa and brother and Hop Sing are healthy. And so are you. And it’s better to be happy and not worry about what might happen. I know you can’t help worryin’. Sometimes a body can’t, but try and concentrate on the happy things, like helping out with Erik and playin’ in the sun and helpin’ your pa with buildin’ this ranch.”

Adam lifted his head from my breast and said, “And you’re healthy, too?”

I swallowed and said, “Yes.”

He looked at me for a long moment, then closed his eyes and laid his head back down. I kept rocking and he was soon asleep. Looking up, I saw a stricken Ben standing in the doorway.

“He’s fine now, Ben.”

Ben walked over, treading lightly so as not to waken his son. He glanced over at Erik and smiled at the cooing baby. Erik was always happy unless he was hungry and he didn’t get his bottle right away. He stopped by the rocking chair and carefully touched Adam’s dark hair.

“He’s lost so much,” he whispered.

“Yes, but he knows you love him.”

Ben said nothing more, but I could see the love in his face as he looked at his firstborn son.

* * * * * *

Adam loves his books. He doesn’t just read ‘em, he devours ‘em. He fought hard to get to go to college back East, and at first I was surprised at how deadset Ben seemed to be about it, but then I finally realized that he was afraid that Adam wouldn’t come back, which was a legitimate worry, I’d say. Adam took to Boston like a duck to water, and his letters home were filled with his enthusiasm and love for the city of his birth. College was a wonder to him, and he did real well. I often wondered if he struggled with a decision to come home or stay in Boston, but whatever happened, he came home. He was welcomed like the Crown Prince and even if he and Little Joe mixed it up more than once, he had reclaimed his place as eldest son of the family.

Hoss and Little Joe had missed him. Hoss had grown to huge proportions by the time Adam had come back, but that bigness matched his heart, because there isn’t a kinder, gentler man in all of Nevada. Or the West, I’d expect.

Hoss was the sunniest child I ever did see. While Adam could be weighted down with responsibilities even at his young age, Hoss’s biggest concern seemed to be when the next meal was coming. Though of course he had his worries, too, mostly about his older brother. He always thought that Adam was too serious, and needed to have more fun. He could usually make Adam laugh, one of his many gifts.

Adam was always very protective of Hoss, big size or not. If anything, maybe he was even more protective because Hoss was so big. When Hoss started school, he was already taller and heavier than any of the kids his age. He got teased constantly about his size, and some of the teasin’ wasn’t that nice. Hoss was such a gentle soul, he didn’t fight back Adam would knock a few blocks off, and when Hoss got a little older, Adam was the one to teach him how to fight. Oddly enough, Ben had never taught Adam to fight. That had been done by their trusted foreman, Charlie. Ben had taught his boy to shoot a gun, but nothin’ about fistfightin’. Maybe it was a promise to his first wife, I don’t know, but it fell to Charlie to teach Adam the finer points.

Adam taught Hoss, and the two of them taught Little Joe.

They got a powerful bond, those two. They were together for years before Little Joe came along. Their relationship is a lot quieter than Hoss/Little Joe or Adam/Little Joe, but then, the youngest Cartwright ain’t exactly a quiet sort! Ha!

Adam has always looked out for Hoss because of his younger brother’s gentleness, but Hoss looks out for him, too. Hoss can draw things out of Adam that Ben even can’t sometimes. Adam respects Hoss’s knowledge about things natural, and Hoss respects his older brother’s intelligence and judgment.

When Little Joe came along, he was spoiled rotten by the whole family. Marie was able to rein in the worst of the spoiling, but she was guilty of it, too. And after she was gone, Little Joe’s family grew even more protective. What little Adam had feared had come to pass: another person he loved had ‘gone away’. Their nickname for their youngest when he was growing up was ‘Precious’. A good nickname, because Little Joe was so very, very precious to them all. Ben is unlikely to have another child, and that means Little Joe is the baby, to his eternal regret. Ha!

I’ve seen him battle Adam and even his pa, but he’s generous and fun-loving and loyal to a fault. He has his ma’s fire and spirit and can ride like the wind. He can pick up things quick, but had trouble in school because he’d rather have been out riding his horse or swimming in the lake instead of sittin’ in a schoolroom. Any subjects he had trouble in, Adam would tutor him, but he was a quicker study than Hoss. Adam had tutored Hoss, too, because a poor, overworked schoolteacher couldn’t always help a student who wasn’t dumb, mind you, but it took him longer to get some things. Adam always had patience for Hoss, which he didn’t always have for Little Joe. Still doesn’t when Little Joe is being especially troublesome.

Hoss is peacemaker in the family. Why, I remember one time…

* * * * * *

*”Little Joe, you better hush up now! Stop gnawin’ on Adam like he’s a bone and you’re a hungry dog!”

Little Joe stuck his lip out and pouted. “Then have him quit tellin’ me what to do alla time!”

“He’s the oldest. He’s in charge. And Adam, try to have a little more patience, willya? I don’t feel like knockin’ the two of ya into next week.”

A slow smile spread across Adam’s face, and Little Joe saw it. He began to laugh, and all three were grinnin’ and guffawin’. I shook my head from my place outside the general store where I’d seen and heard the whole thing.

“You three are crazy.”

“Yes, ma’am!” they chorused.*

* * * * * *

But it’s no doubt that they all love each other and Ben. I get invited to dinner every now and again and see the way they treat each other. They love each other somethin’ fierce. It shows in the way they talk to each other (when they ain’t being annoyed with each other). Courtesy and respect are what Ben wants at the dinner table, but it spills over into other areas of their lives, too. They live and work together and fight and love and when outsiders try and hurt them, they come together like nothin’ you’ve ever seen and it’s the Cartwrights Against The World, if necessary.

I guess that’s why I shuddered deep down inside me when I heard that Adam had been killed by Dark Wolf’s people. I was in town and Roy Coffee came over to me, white as a sheet…

*”Roy! Land sakes, what’s the matter?”

“Shaughnessy, it’s terrible.”

“What?”

“Adam’s dead.”

“Wha…? Oh, dear God, no!”

Roy shook his head. “Yep, it’s true. The Indians over Oakdale way done it. They…They burned him, Shaughnessy.”

Shock held me rooted to the ground. “B…Burned?” Roy nodded. “Oh, God!”

“Ben’s sendin’ the body back today. Little Joe was hurt by an arrow and he’s goin’ to have to stay with Hoss for a few days.”

“Roy, I…” The thought of Adam burning alive made me nauseous and dizzy. Roy grabbed my arm and guided me to a bench outside the general store.

“I know, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”

I grabbed his arm. “Roy, you know it’s gonna tear that family apart.”

He nodded grimly. “I know.”

“Losing Adam! And so horribly! Oh, Ben must be close to insane! And Hoss and Little Joe! Oh, Lord!”

I couldn’t believe it. And when Ben and the boys came into town, I was sick. I’d seen the coffin arrive and carried to the icehouse. When Ben stepped off the stage, he looked like a man half-dead. Hoss and Little Joe didn’t look much better.

Roy and I didn’t know what to say. Finally I stepped forward and put my arms around Ben.*

* * * * * *

It was God’s own miracle that Adam was alive, because I’d seen what his death had done to the family left behind. But Roy and I didn’t know the half of it. The horror was much, much worse…

* * * * * *

*Ben paced in the small parlor of my house, the agitation clear in his movements. I rocked in my rocking chair, waiting for him to speak.

He finally stopped pacing and looked at me.

“Adam’s back. He’s safe. He was chosen to die. By me.”

I stared at him.

“Yes, *I* chose him!” He gestured at himself. “Me, Ben Cartwright! I chose my firstborn to die!”

I jumped up and grabbed his arms. “Ben, what are you talking about?”

“Dark Wolf…his son was lynched years ago. He said I could leave…with two of my sons. Or all three would die.”

I felt the horror swallow me up.

“I…I had to choose, Shaughnessy. I had to choose which one of my beloved sons would have to die so that the others might live.” Pain glittered in Ben’s brown eyes. “I couldn’t choose Little Joe. He was so young, so full of life…I would die if he died.

“I couldn’t choose Hoss. Deprive our family and the world of such a decent, good, and gentle soul?

“I…I chose Adam. My firstborn. My intelligent, witty, brave oldest son. Who had stood by me all these years. Helped me realize my dream of the Ponderosa. Helped raise his brothers.

Was always by my side. My steady, dependable, loving Adam. He insisted upon being chosen.

And I did. And they took him away, tore him out of my arms, and my son was gone.”

He was trembling now, his face so twisted in anguish that I feared for his soul. He continued.

“They burned him at the stake. I saw the body. Only later we found out it was another poor soul. And Little Joe hated me. Hoss was trying to keep us all together. My heart was ripped out. I couldn’t even care about my two remaining sons. Not for awhile. My life was over.”

He came to me then and I held him close.*

* * * * * *

The family might not have survived Adam’s death if he’d died of illness or been taken by the Indians and killed outright. Or they could have eventually pulled together and gone on living, changed forever but still a strong family.

If Adam had not come back this time, however, they would have gradually broken apart. Because the Cartwrights, strong as they are, could never have survived Adam dying because Ben had been forced to choose him. Little Joe would have hated him. Hoss would have tried to keep the family together but would have failed. And Ben would have felt nothing. Their grief would have destroyed them all.

They love each other too much. It would have hurt too much.

Dear God, don’t ever make Ben choose again.

THE END

Author’s Note: The character of Shaughnessy appeared in the episode, “THE SPITFIRE”. She intrigued me by the respect shown to her by the Cartwrights and by the fact that she was never addressed as ‘Miss’ or ‘Ma’am’, just ‘Shaughnessy’.

Lisa Arsenault graciously granted me permission to refer to the events in her story, “FAVORITE SON”.

Hope you all enjoyed it!

*Adah* (The Magnificent)